MFM Minisode 240 - Do We Have Time For A Hometown?

[0] This is exactly right.

[1] Isn't it exciting, everybody?

[2] I think we have time for a hometown murder.

[3] No pointing yet.

[4] No pointing yet.

[5] Yeah, save it.

[6] Karen has to tell you some stuff.

[7] This is important.

[8] These rules.

[9] These are for you.

[10] And us.

[11] And us, mostly.

[12] Mostly us.

[13] Okay, you know the ones like you can't read it and you can't be so drunk, you can't tell it, and it needs to be local.

[14] We don't want to hear about shit that happened in Tennessee.

[15] So Ohio would be great.

[16] Yeah, yeah.

[17] State, statewide.

[18] Mm -hmm.

[19] And...

[20] Everyone hates you.

[21] Okay, you have to remember that if you get picked, everyone else in the room hates you.

[22] So don't fucking...

[23] That's not the time to shout out all your cousins and stuff.

[24] Like, just get up here and tell your story like you are on a clock because you are.

[25] Ready, go!

[26] Okay, I'm picking, I'm picking, I'm picking.

[27] Look at the light.

[28] She looks mad at you.

[29] Yeah, or whatever that jacket is.

[30] Yes.

[31] Go to this way to Vince.

[32] All right.

[33] Yeah, turn those lights down, please.

[34] Bye, bye.

[35] What's your name?

[36] Hi, my name's Lauren.

[37] Hi, come over here, Lauren.

[38] Hi, fancy pants.

[39] Can I say that I bought this bow tie specifically for the show?

[40] Yes, because it's from the shirt.

[41] Can I tell you a secret?

[42] Yes.

[43] Or it's not.

[44] It's an open secret.

[45] But this is the pattern on the back of my album cover.

[46] Oh, that's right.

[47] Hi.

[48] Hi -five, everybody.

[49] Sorry, that was about me. Where are you from?

[50] I'm from Cincinnati.

[51] born and raised.

[52] I love Cincinnati.

[53] But now living here in Columbus.

[54] Oh, okay.

[55] Yes.

[56] A little for everyone.

[57] Yep.

[58] What's your hometown?

[59] Okay, so this is the story of my biological father being the prime suspect and the murder of his best friend in college.

[60] Okay.

[61] And just for a little bit of side note, this was like two years after I was born, so life shit one right after the other happened after him.

[62] But, okay, so this first.

[63] was like, 96, 97 happened at Capitol University.

[64] Go accused.

[65] Yeah, okay.

[66] So my bio -dad, his best friend was Tony, who was the only other man in the art therapy department at the time.

[67] So obviously they're going to have to bond together because they're the only two men in that department.

[68] Yeah.

[69] Okay, so he was the last person to see him alive.

[70] And so, like, he's dropping off at his apartment at, like, he's dropping off at his apartment at, like, like one in the morning, because you do weird shit at, like, one in the morning.

[71] I think you said they were getting haircuts or whatever.

[72] You know.

[73] Late night super cuts?

[74] Who the fuck knows?

[75] Who the fuck knows is right?

[76] Anyway, so he drops them off, and then his best friend is proceeded to be carjacked and, like, forced to empty out his entire ATM by a group of three minors, by the way, who apparently each had a rap sheet.

[77] a whole page long each.

[78] Anyway, so then they shoot him execution style in the back of the head and then find his car three days later on like Cleveland Avenue which honestly is no surprise it's like a sketchy air.

[79] You guys hate Cleveland and not anywhere near Capital University at all so.

[80] But like so while they're investigating this my bio dad is put through all this bullshit.

[81] So, like, when they come to question him, they take him out of his ceramics class.

[82] And if you work with ceramics, you know that you're going to wear the, like, worst clothing possible.

[83] So they put him in handcuffs and put him in the back of the squad car and take him to, like, to interview him and whatever.

[84] And so, like, he's looking hella guilty.

[85] And, like, they fingerprint him and everything.

[86] Overalls.

[87] In that day, they were working with red clay, which is very unfortunate.

[88] But so, like, they don't let him wash his hands and, like, drop him back off at class.

[89] And so, like, his next class, the teacher asks him to hand out all the graded tests.

[90] So each one has, like, just a little thumbprint on the corner.

[91] And, like, so now he's looking he's looking he'll be.

[92] And, like, at one point, he's, like, rounding a corner, and he hears the, like, principal of, like, the college or whatever, talking shit about him.

[93] And, like, it's bad because, like, he's also, like, the son of a Lutheran minister, and this is a Jesuit college.

[94] Oh, perfect revenge.

[95] Yeah, exactly.

[96] But, like, he clearly didn't do it, is what I'm saying.

[97] And, like...

[98] He clearly did do it, is what you're saying.

[99] That's what you just said.

[100] But, like, I'm pretty sure the kids that did it are now out of prison because they were minors at the time that they did it.

[101] Do you know how young?

[102] I don't know.

[103] Teenagers, for sure.

[104] Shit.

[105] Wow.

[106] How did they get caught?

[107] I think they just followed the evidence.

[108] I don't get it.

[109] Damn.

[110] Shit.

[111] Can I end on a joke?

[112] It's a really quick one.

[113] Of course.

[114] Okay, this is kind of an awful joke.

[115] You're going to feel slightly bad for you.

[116] Okay.

[117] So why do they not tell jokes about the Reverend Jim Jones?

[118] Why?

[119] Because the punchline is too long.

[120] That's how you do a fucking hometown.

[121] Fuck.

[122] And then just end with just a touch of, light humor.

[123] Beautiful.

[124] A joke that we would get hate mail for but was adorable.

[125] That's right.

[126] You do it.

[127] So we appreciate that because I want nothing more than to say that joke every day of my life.

[128] Hi, hi, hi, hi.

[129] Don't trip.

[130] Don't fall down.

[131] Hello.

[132] Hello.

[133] Oh look.

[134] Look at her skirt.

[135] Hi, it's a dress.

[136] Are they falling all My up stockings is like, okay, guys.

[137] Wait, look at it.

[138] This is...

[139] No, I have to stay out of the forest.

[140] Is this from our...

[141] Is this from Dangerfield?

[142] I know.

[143] This is so cute.

[144] We're asking like the one store we've been to is the only store in Melbourne.

[145] One place we've been to.

[146] Yes.

[147] I heard you guys don't have any others.

[148] Hi, what's her name?

[149] Hi, Rebecca.

[150] Hi, Rebecca.

[151] Where are you from?

[152] Everyone will cheer for you.

[153] Thank you.

[154] The Yarra Valley.

[155] What's her hometown?

[156] Okay.

[157] So, I have a few, but I'll just do one.

[158] if it's really good you can do more or it's really bad okay go ahead I won't use exact names because I still live next door to my mom so weird how you can't see anyone out there that's so creepy I know right no I know it's better it's better just look up into the light this is days off so basically my mom and dad moved to cold stream I don't know if you know cold stream of course we know cold stream they know it along the Maroinda Highway So basically high traffic area And they start building this house And there's an old little barn out the back A little bit creepy And basically where they're going to build the house There's a big tree out the front Big cherry blossom Massive cherry blossom My dad's like, I really think I need to cut this down Why?

[159] Well, where the house was going to be So they could keep the old barn Oh right, okay.

[160] Yeah, yeah.

[161] So the neighbour comes over and he's this big, massive guy, big beard.

[162] My dad's like a skinny kind of crocodile dundee.

[163] Oh, yeah.

[164] We know him.

[165] We know the tree down with this big knife.

[166] Yeah.

[167] So you imagine this other guy that's massive and my dad's kind of skinny.

[168] I want to control problem.

[169] Anyway, so this guy tells him, don't cut down the tree.

[170] No matter what you do, do not cut down this tree.

[171] Oh, chill, dude.

[172] That's super chill.

[173] Yeah.

[174] And so dad's like, watch me. The next day it comes in with a backhoe, but the tree's been cut down.

[175] And there's a big hole right around the tree.

[176] Oh, no. This is really suss.

[177] Dad's like, what the hell's going on?

[178] So anyway, pulls up the tree, talks to the guy next door.

[179] Doesn't know anything apparently, as you do.

[180] And then so we build the house over the top where this tree was straight away, which ends up being my bedroom, much you?

[181] No, no. There ends up being horrific haunting.

[182] So, it starts off with my brother.

[183] So he's first in the room.

[184] So there's 10 years between my brother and I. Okay.

[185] So my brother Adam wakes up.

[186] There's these horrible, horrific noises in the room.

[187] Basically, this ghost likes musical instruments.

[188] I don't know if you'll believe in ghosts, but anyway.

[189] Sure.

[190] It doesn't matter.

[191] It doesn't matter.

[192] Tell your story.

[193] So you learn the recorder at primary school, basically.

[194] Then you go up to the guitar.

[195] So by grade six, he's like, master this guitar.

[196] Every night, family wakes up to the guitar strumming.

[197] Oh, oh, no, no, no, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[198] So 10 years on, I'm, I'm just born, basically, and my dad liked the ukulele.

[199] So he would come in.

[200] You guys are just not have string instruments in your fucking house anymore.

[201] So basically, what keeps happening is these horrible things keep happening in in our family.

[202] Things like you'd be in the shower and shampoo bottles would come down on you.

[203] Like one after the other?

[204] Like, creepy as fuck.

[205] Like, petrifying shit, right?

[206] Oh, my God.

[207] Anyway, so eventually, these things keep happening.

[208] And I'm about four or five.

[209] And I say to my mom, I feel like there's something wrong at the neighbors.

[210] There's something really strange.

[211] That was great.

[212] But she said it, and she was in a nightgown and her hair was wet.

[213] and her eyes were white.

[214] I don't know what's wrong.

[215] Something's wrong, mommy.

[216] So basically, the next day, we're all sitting down for dinner.

[217] And I actually sent you in this email as well about it.

[218] We read it, we loved it.

[219] Yeah, totally.

[220] Loved it.

[221] So basically, the next day, we're all sitting down for dinner.

[222] Police come raiding through our house.

[223] They come through our house.

[224] they're basically like, if you have somewhere safe to put the kids, put the kids.

[225] So my brothers are older.

[226] We all went in the bathroom, stayed there.

[227] What the fuck?

[228] Dad gets had his knife, literally.

[229] That's not a knife.

[230] Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[231] Yeah, it's like, you call that a knife.

[232] Yeah.

[233] And basically the police raid goes through our house to the next door neighbors.

[234] They go through the back paddocks.

[235] We call them paddocks.

[236] And then through the front of the house.

[237] Yeah, okay.

[238] Yeah, yeah.

[239] Oh, yeah.

[240] Got it.

[241] And basically a body is found in their backyard.

[242] What?

[243] This is the big bearded guy's back.

[244] Yeah, yeah, yeah, the freaky guy.

[245] Okay.

[246] Yeah.

[247] And there's other bones that are found on the premises as well.

[248] They believe they were buried.

[249] There was tree roots through it.

[250] Oh, my God.

[251] I know, right?

[252] It's like, ooh.

[253] Then, oh, my God.

[254] Then, a couple years passed.

[255] So the father's been put away.

[256] At this point, his daughter is about 1920, and a body is found a cold stream tip.

[257] She's almost decapitated.

[258] She's been injected with battery acid, yeah.

[259] Battery acid in a sleeping bag, bound up with a phone cord.

[260] And we used to actually have phone cords, yeah?

[261] Yeah.

[262] Horrific.

[263] They can't move the body because this, the daughter, which they didn't know at the time, her name's Karen.

[264] she has a thing where she always comes back to the body and every single time they've missed her so they've moved the body and missed that chance of her coming back and trying to bury it or get rid of evidence so they're like we've got to leave the body so they're talking to the mother and they're like we can't move the body I'm so sorry so it gets quite emotional the whole town is like this girl like we don't know the body's being found we don't know anything about it's all top secret Haven't they heard of a mannequin with a fucking picture tapes on its face?

[265] That's not the same.

[266] What did I wish she was?

[267] Anyway, so basically, Karen comes back with dynamite to blow up the body.

[268] Holy shit!

[269] And this is a concis.

[270] You're not a compulsive liar.

[271] I just want to check.

[272] I don't care.

[273] It's great.

[274] It doesn't matter.

[275] But this is like later on she does again with dynamite.

[276] She has a thing with dynamite.

[277] Okay.

[278] So this girl had been a. was a drug deal gone wrong.

[279] Karen was a drug dealer and she had to pass to Lillydale.

[280] Wait, this is the daughter of the neighbor.

[281] Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[282] So Ian was a really bad guy that hid the body underneath where our house was and then had a body in the backyard.

[283] And then Karen's the daughter who's in a almost, she's about 19, 20 right now.

[284] So basically drug deals gone wrong.

[285] She was living in Lilydale.

[286] She moved back in with her dad after this girl was killed.

[287] Now she gets the dynamite comes back to blow up this body.

[288] It's not a solution.

[289] So when she comes back, basically the cops jump on her.

[290] So she's done for, she's arrested.

[291] Her boyfriend was waiting in the car.

[292] Now, when she does her statement, so basically she ruts out her boyfriend, she got less time because she was making sandwiches in the kitchen while they were torturing this girl for 48 hours.

[293] It's repulsive.

[294] Like, that is just, yeah, so she got less time because of that.

[295] So, disgusting.

[296] Yeah.

[297] So, yeah, I know, right?

[298] And this is happening next door while you're growing up?

[299] Well, no, so this is, so the daughter, she was mostly living at Lilydale.

[300] So she's doing all these drug deals and stuff like that.

[301] Whereas Ian had moved out, so just his wife was still there.

[302] Okay, okay.

[303] Okay, so basically, Karen then gets out of jail a few years later.

[304] Her boyfriend's still in jail.

[305] she gets dynamite to blow out her boyfriend out of jail.

[306] Karen, there's other things in the world.

[307] Jesus Christ.

[308] Her mom's like, would you do the dishes?

[309] She's like, yeah, I've got the perfect solution.

[310] Dinamate, it's just what she does.

[311] So she ends up going back into jail, obviously.

[312] He does more time.

[313] Fast forward about, I think it was about three or four years ago, she ends up moving back in next door to all of my mom.

[314] mom.

[315] But it's okay.

[316] She's a born again Christian.

[317] Oh, so right, guys.

[318] Amen.

[319] Amen.

[320] Amen.

[321] So, God.

[322] Yeah.

[323] Jesus forgives.

[324] So, yeah, yeah.

[325] Like, all that shit.

[326] The death are cleared.

[327] The thing that, like, really fucked me. Jesus does love dynamite.

[328] Yes.

[329] So, she loves it.

[330] So in the end, yeah, my mom still lives next door of them.

[331] Oh, my God.

[332] Do you guys have a member for Christmas every?

[333] Yeah, like, what's Fourth of July like?

[334] Just really tense?

[335] They don't have that here.

[336] Yeah, that's the story of the jewels.

[337] That was my last day.

[338] Spotter.

[339] She's dizzy.

[340] So are we.

[341] Kristen, this is Kristen.

[342] Come over here.

[343] Stand on the magic rug.

[344] Okay.

[345] Here we go.

[346] Where are you from?

[347] Here, Orlando.

[348] This one is about my mom's best friend when she was like 20, 21.

[349] She went over to her best friend, Catherine's house because they were planning her wedding because she was engaged, Catherine.

[350] She was engaged to this guy named Keith.

[351] And when they went over there, Catherine was missing because she had, I guess, to get hair dye or something, but she never came back.

[352] She's, cops come, and they have found her body.

[353] In the trunk of the car, she's been beaten and stabbed.

[354] And it turns out, I'm going to make it pretty short, It turns out that her fiance, Catherine's fiance, Keith's best friend, Danny, actually really hated Catherine and was in love with Keith.

[355] Oh, shit.

[356] Yes.

[357] This is a new one.

[358] Yeah, and it gets even better.

[359] Well, not better.

[360] Worse, worse, worse.

[361] You guys get it.

[362] Definitely worse.

[363] Definitely worse.

[364] Yeah, definitely worse.

[365] Well, it turns out that Keith.

[366] used to like make our Danny used to make fun of Catherine all the time because apparently we find out what happens but he also used to call her the lazy pig like she would call her a lazy pig all the time that's not a fun they found her car behind a restaurant called the lazy pig no is that here in Orlando or was not any longer but yes it was what kind of restaurant was it I'm going to go with barbecue barbecue I don't know wow Makes sense.

[367] That's good deduction.

[368] But yeah, he did that on purpose, like to send a...

[369] No, it was a total message sent.

[370] They actually did not find out it was him until a really long time after.

[371] With Jeff Ashton, he was part of the Casey Anthony.

[372] Oh, yeah, yeah.

[373] He started a whole cold case thing in Orlando, and she was actually the very first cold case that they solved.

[374] Wow.

[375] So it wasn't until long time.

[376] time after, but we got our guy.

[377] How many years was it?

[378] I want to say probably a good 15.

[379] Oh, wow.

[380] Because this happened in the early 70s and they didn't find out to like more towards the late 80s.

[381] Can you imagine this whole time your friend's like, Keith's like fucking crying and his friends helping him and then it turned out the BMI with, oh my God.

[382] Oh yeah, because he was, like he said, he was consoling and everything and...

[383] What a creep.

[384] Yeah.

[385] And it was like definitely like a passion murder like and what was her name katherine katherine her name was katherine which is what really matters yeah exactly wow that's that was horrifying yeah the lazy pig part is what freaks me out lazy pig is the fucking work yeah yeah oh man you would have loved that jewelry box i feel bad now oh shit someone they're like i don't want this shit and then it's like she would love it this is pretty cool i'm good with this okay okay yes christian give her vince's sunglasses as a guest Georgia, I think it's you, right?

[386] I'm on a fucking rule, so don't ruin this for me, guys.

[387] Who has a hometown?

[388] Nobody?

[389] I think that the girl sitting next to our friends that helped us.

[390] Yeah, yeah, and the toxic masculinity.

[391] Where'd Vince go?

[392] Vince is right there.

[393] Walk over to him.

[394] Got us a lovely charcutory and cheese spread backstage.

[395] Vince is our tour manager.

[396] He's Georgia's husband.

[397] He does it all.

[398] He does it.

[399] Which means we don't have to pay him.

[400] No. That's hard labor.

[401] He's doing his hard labor for free.

[402] His hard start labor.

[403] His hard start labor.

[404] Oh, right.

[405] That's so good.

[406] Ethel?

[407] Iifa.

[408] Ifa.

[409] Hi.

[410] That's cute.

[411] Eiffa.

[412] Here, send her up, center up, center up.

[413] Look at her shoes.

[414] Let's do a nice stage picture.

[415] Those are great.

[416] You tell me your name, sorry?

[417] Ifa.

[418] EFA?

[419] Eiffa, everybody.

[420] I'm from Carrie.

[421] You're from Carrie?

[422] Yeah.

[423] Carrie.

[424] She's from Carrie.

[425] Yeah.

[426] You guys know it.

[427] Did she say it, right?

[428] I'm sorry, it's Karee.

[429] Jesus.

[430] Okay, what's your hometown?

[431] So my mom is from Westmeath, and she's from this tiny village.

[432] Like, there's not even as many people as there is here.

[433] Oh, fun.

[434] It's called Kool.

[435] Cool.

[436] Too easy.

[437] Sorry, sorry.

[438] So a family from Dublin moved out there years ago, and the father worked in England so he'd be back and forth and then they just stopped seeing him oh and then they moved away and they hadn't really got involved with the community so it was fine nobody cared but then they went the daughter went to the guardee multiple guarda got it message received and told them that they had killed him a few years back and buried their buried him in their garden.

[439] Guardi.

[440] And then they dug him up and burnt him somewhere else.

[441] The family did?

[442] Yeah.

[443] What dix?

[444] And then she decided to go to the Gardee because she found out her mother was having an affair with her boyfriend.

[445] Her own boyfriend.

[446] Okay, wait.

[447] Who's related?

[448] First of all, let's start Her name.

[449] Top.

[450] No. Wait.

[451] So when they killed the father, was it the mother's idea?

[452] Yes.

[453] And she...

[454] The mother and the boyfriend.

[455] They tricked the kids.

[456] They tricked the daughter into...

[457] Killing him?

[458] No. It's nice.

[459] She doesn't look.

[460] And I was like, oh shit.

[461] And then I saw her face and she doesn't look angry, so we're good.

[462] It's going to be okay.

[463] She was...

[464] This is the great fear that we always said.

[465] You were really fucked up over this.

[466] PTSD.

[467] Okay.

[468] Okay, he's doing great.

[469] Shit.

[470] Okay.

[471] They're sharing a...

[472] Do it in the microphones.

[473] Okay, so your cousin, who's your cousin?

[474] Don't talk privately on stage, please.

[475] We were going to email in about our auntie.

[476] But we decided not to.

[477] But then, Eva, okay, it's not an auntie that we talk to.

[478] No, she has a book.

[479] A book?

[480] She wrote a book about it.

[481] You don't get to do that.

[482] If you're the murderer.

[483] Wait, so will you run it down for us just really quick of like...

[484] Yeah, we see, we don't...

[485] You don't talk about it?

[486] No, no. Do you see...

[487] Everyone in coolest.

[488] The parents, you asked the parents and they're like, oh, we don't talk about that.

[489] No, we can't tell you what that.

[490] There was a bonfire.

[491] Yeah.

[492] And the bones were left.

[493] There was also a under patio.

[494] Yeah.

[495] And then they decided that wasn't good enough.

[496] So they brought it up.

[497] Let's...

[498] And went to the pigs.

[499] Oh, shit.

[500] associate with that.

[501] Okay.

[502] Eva just goes, I didn't get to the pig's park.

[503] I forgot.

[504] Yeah.

[505] My mom didn't know the pigs part.

[506] Oh, she didn't know.

[507] There was bits left in the pig.

[508] That's how they found out.

[509] That's how they proved that.

[510] Yeah, but it was the mother who's the daughter's husband.

[511] So the daughter went to the guardee.

[512] Multiple.

[513] And she said, hey, There's something shitty on us.

[514] Good for her.

[515] A woman's scorn, man. Oh, yeah.

[516] Watch it.

[517] So she brought out a book.

[518] And now it said, hey, fuck you.

[519] Oh, my God.

[520] It was like a diary.

[521] I can't remember.

[522] Our family walked out of us.

[523] And so she's in jail now?

[524] She's gone.

[525] She's in jail now.

[526] She's out.

[527] And she's like, I'm right here.

[528] The wife was done for murder.

[529] Yeah.

[530] The daughter's husband was done for manslaughter.

[531] I will find out the name of the book Okay, I have it Okay, great and I will come up I'm not gonna read it I'm not gonna read it I'm not gonna read it I love it You guys are an amazing seven part series right now that we have You were around A fucking Oh my god And it wasn't And I'm so grateful for that I'm sweating a little extra I love that they came up and they had less information than Ifah did Fuck yes That's what it's all about It would have been cool if we'd get like 30 people on this day, just milling around of like, well, I've heard this story.

[532] I would like to say this and that.

[533] You forgot the part of the pig, the chickens.

[534] You forgot the chickens.

[535] Karen, you know I'm all about vintage shopping.

[536] Absolutely.

[537] And when you say vintage, you mean when you physically drive to a store and actually purchase something with cash.

[538] Exactly.

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[541] That's right.

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[554] Goodbye.

[555] Did you just pick seven people?

[556] This way.

[557] No, no. Oh, no. I'm sorry.

[558] Fuck.

[559] I'm never doing this again.

[560] Sorry.

[561] I'm sorry.

[562] This is why I don't do this.

[563] I'm sorry.

[564] I'm going to hug her after the show.

[565] Hi, what's your name?

[566] Hi, Crystal.

[567] Hi, Crystal.

[568] Hi, Crystal.

[569] You have to take center stage.

[570] Come out here, your fabulous pants.

[571] Hi.

[572] Hi.

[573] Hi.

[574] Hi.

[575] Crystal, where are you from?

[576] I'm from Detroit.

[577] Yeah.

[578] Home town.

[579] What's good?

[580] Show us on the thing where the...

[581] Just point Wrong hand Yep that's where Vince always points Same spot Right down there Right down there Okay Got it Everyone knows You are here You are here Okay Okay what's your hometown So this is a family murder Oh wow It's really fucked up She goes I know I know Okay So it's two murders Over two years Well several murders Whatever the case Seven Two or seven.

[582] Four.

[583] I thought you said seven.

[584] So it starts with one year, my cousin on his birthday.

[585] He's like an amazing artist.

[586] Whatever.

[587] He's celebrating.

[588] It's amazing.

[589] And then my cousin, who's a police officer, gets a call like, oh, there's a body in the river.

[590] And she goes, investigates, they pull the body out.

[591] It's my cousin.

[592] Wait, so the police officer.

[593] is my cousin, and then had to pull their own cousin.

[594] And the body is our soul, our cousin.

[595] Sorry, in your police officer cousin is a woman?

[596] Yes.

[597] That's awesome.

[598] That's just, that's exciting.

[599] That's exciting.

[600] Yes, that is exciting.

[601] But also, this is horrible.

[602] Sorry.

[603] So, they pull him out.

[604] They don't know what fucking happened.

[605] He's dead.

[606] It's awful.

[607] His roommate was with him.

[608] He's like, they're like, what happened?

[609] He's like, we were drinking.

[610] And then he's like, I want to hang up by myself.

[611] So he leaves.

[612] and then he's dead.

[613] So we're like, I don't know, this seems sketchy.

[614] Whatever the case.

[615] My uncle, his dad, is like, you know what, it's hard, I don't want to fuck with it.

[616] Just let's move on.

[617] The next year, my cousin, his brother of the dead person, he's going to college, he's getting his master's degree, he's in Atlanta, he comes back, he's like, this is weird.

[618] Whatever the case, he does whatever he needs.

[619] needs to do.

[620] He gets a CCW for some random reason.

[621] What's that?

[622] What's that?

[623] Uh, concealed weapons license.

[624] Oh, okay.

[625] So now he's...

[626] When you say that he says this is weird, like he, his life was weird for him?

[627] No, he wanted my uncle to investigate more what happened with his brother.

[628] Okay.

[629] But my uncle was like, I'm sad.

[630] My son's dead.

[631] Yeah, he just wants to ignore it.

[632] I just want to move on.

[633] It's over.

[634] I don't want to investigate anymore.

[635] Okay.

[636] So my cousin's like, whatever.

[637] So years later, I met this part, not years later, a year later, I met a party randomly for someone I don't know.

[638] That's near the here nor there.

[639] Was it fun?

[640] It was funnish.

[641] It was a surprise party for somebody I didn't know.

[642] So awkward.

[643] You're like, surprise, I'm here.

[644] Surprise.

[645] I don't know.

[646] It was kind of.

[647] My friend's like, oh, we're having a party, but only four people are here.

[648] Can you come?

[649] No. It was free drinks and food.

[650] Oh, and yes.

[651] I can.

[652] Okay.

[653] So I came, it was fun.

[654] We had drinks, and I'm leaving, and my aunt calls, and she's like, hey, what are you doing?

[655] And I'm like, I'm driving to a date.

[656] She's like, well, can you pull over?

[657] And I'm like, what do you mean?

[658] She's like, no, seriously, pull over.

[659] So I pull over.

[660] Turns out my other cousin, the brother of the person who died the year before, that morning, it's a Sunday.

[661] It's three days after Thanksgiving.

[662] He goes to the neighbor's house.

[663] He's like, knocks on the door.

[664] or the neighbor wife answers.

[665] She's like, what's going on?

[666] He's like, hey, turn that music down.

[667] She's like, we're not playing any music.

[668] He's like, yes, you are.

[669] So she's like, no, I'm not.

[670] She goes to get her husband.

[671] Her husband comes back.

[672] My cousin shoots the husband down on the front porch.

[673] Oh, my God.

[674] So then he goes back into their house, and he shoots my uncle.

[675] The uncle who didn't want to investigate?

[676] The uncle who didn't want to investigate.

[677] His father.

[678] His father.

[679] His father.

[680] His father kills him.

[681] Yeah.

[682] So the wife obviously calls a police.

[683] My cousin goes into the basement.

[684] They're in a standoff with the police for several hours.

[685] And then my cousin kills himself.

[686] Wow.

[687] It's fucking awful.

[688] So my aunt's telling me this on the phone while I'm on the way to a date with this dude.

[689] Date canceled.

[690] No, the day wasn't canceled.

[691] I really needed a drink after that.

[692] Okay.

[693] that's fair i'm not married i'm divorced okay okay oh my god okay okay it was the summer of stevens not that stephen i dated an old stephen a married a young stephen and then the third stephen that i was gone on the date with i found out that night was fucking married holy that's a bad night jesus was it friday the 13 oh my god it should have i meant fuck it was thanksgiving is our investigation into the first cousin or is it just we never really figured out what happened he just I'm so sorry yeah it was really sad yeah I broke up with that Stephen to make matters worse so that part was good I mean that was very healthy it was and we commend you for that yeah what's silver lining this shit yeah yeah crystal everyone give crystal I mean that's amazing that's oh my god i mean right i'll steal that yeah you don't get to keep that that's not your prize for having a good hometown murder crystal i want to apologize oh my god for the fact that i clearly have a pointing issue and just this is how i point in one person and i apologize to the wonderful ladies i point i clearly pointed at too no that was a great pick i think we know sorry i do think we know because there's someone that sent a tweet a twitter and it's someone shit I memorized the name and then I got all caught up in my rock and roll lifestyle upstairs it's the person who sent the tweet whose dad texted them about Ed Gein and there's a series of texts and they tweeted and said we've got your we've got your hometown tonight if you want to hear it I didn't know I was like don't tell me surprise me yes I kept a secret so if you are here and you know what I'm talking about usually there's a scream by now and that's an honor system so don't try to lie your way through it once you get up here.

[694] I think that...

[695] I think your name is...

[696] Was it Tracy?

[697] Yell if...

[698] Is it Sarah?

[699] I think our car broke down.

[700] Are you walking or are you just sitting in a chair yelling at me?

[701] I don't think she's here.

[702] Oh, man. All right, I pick another one.

[703] Well, no, if she knows her name is Sarah.

[704] I bet she's looking at the Twitter right now.

[705] Did you?

[706] Am I right?

[707] I don't know.

[708] What'd they say?

[709] I don't know.

[710] She's in the bathroom?

[711] Is that true?

[712] What a nightmare!

[713] Okay, don't say...

[714] Wait, before she gets back, before she gets back.

[715] We have to do a trick on her before she gets back.

[716] I can't think of what it is.

[717] You go sit in her seat.

[718] Okay.

[719] Where is it?

[720] You, Karen.

[721] Jesus, help me. Is she really?

[722] It's real?

[723] Oh, my God.

[724] I thought you guys were making a joke.

[725] Can I slide in that?

[726] I'm not going that way.

[727] I'm not to put my butt in front of every, his face.

[728] Yeah, I'll go this way.

[729] Karen, I'm up here alone.

[730] Oh, sorry, I forgot.

[731] I'm going to go, too.

[732] Oh, my God.

[733] Do a type five.

[734] Oh, is that you?

[735] Shit, I was going to do a trick on you.

[736] Come with me. Sasha.

[737] Oh, my God.

[738] Can I get a microphone?

[739] Oh, our seat.

[740] Oh, we're still doing the trick.

[741] Georgia left.

[742] No, I'm right here.

[743] Can I remember?

[744] Or leave the stage.

[745] I feel like I'm having a nightmare.

[746] Is that her?

[747] I'm pretty sure I didn't.

[748] Sarah, get over here right now or you are in serious trouble.

[749] Oh, she's getting her phone.

[750] She's getting her phone.

[751] You don't need her phone.

[752] Right?

[753] Okay, grab my hand.

[754] Grab my hand.

[755] Are you going to walk us to the stage?

[756] How do we get up there fast?

[757] Well, I can tell you that this was horrible.

[758] I don't care if you had to pee, Sarah.

[759] If you're at a professional show, you stay in your seat the entire time.

[760] It doesn't matter.

[761] What are the fucking chances that the one person we called up?

[762] Yes.

[763] The one fucking person is peeing.

[764] The chances were one in 2 ,400.

[765] Thank you.

[766] Yeah.

[767] That makes, I don't know math.

[768] It's like one sip of beer less and she would have not had to go through all of this and neither would I have.

[769] Here I have it.

[770] Karen, Karen, Karen, I have it.

[771] Okay, okay.

[772] Can I scream a good at me?

[773] There she is.

[774] Oh my God.

[775] Oh, my goodness.

[776] No, I'm she.

[777] She's in the bathroom.

[778] Come here.

[779] Sorry, I really had to come.

[780] Okay.

[781] Are you, you seem so chill about all of this?

[782] No, I'm very scared.

[783] Are you scared?

[784] Let's talk about it.

[785] He should be.

[786] I already peaked.

[787] You're shaking, right?

[788] It's freaky as hell.

[789] Yeah, I kind of like that I can't see anything.

[790] I know, isn't that good?

[791] It's best.

[792] It's good.

[793] Wait, where are you from?

[794] From Milwaukee, from Wauwitosa.

[795] Milwaukee.

[796] Local.

[797] Yes.

[798] What street do you live on?

[799] I'm not going to say.

[800] say.

[801] Good, good, good call.

[802] Because I don't want to get murder.

[803] That's right.

[804] That was a test.

[805] Yes.

[806] So I'm going to tell this story through my own dad's words.

[807] It's beautiful.

[808] Yeah, I can't say it any better.

[809] Okay.

[810] So, as my father, wait, what is he, is he going to, are you, are we going to know what he does for a living?

[811] He's a psychologist.

[812] Oh, cool.

[813] What's his first name?

[814] Steve.

[815] Steve.

[816] Okay.

[817] Steve is a psychologist.

[818] Great.

[819] And as a college student, before he married my mother, what's her name?

[820] Sandy.

[821] Stephen Sandy.

[822] Stephen Sandy.

[823] Oh, Stephen Sandy got married in Milwaukee.

[824] Yes.

[825] Right out of college?

[826] Yeah, right out of college.

[827] Right out of college.

[828] In Madison.

[829] No. That says, I was a volunteer at Mendota Mental Health, working with kids.

[830] You guys go there?

[831] Tuesdays and Thursdays and Thursdays.

[832] Love it.

[833] Twice a week.

[834] The nurses brought in Halloween costumes and we took the kids trick -or -treating to the other units.

[835] What?

[836] Hold on!

[837] Yeah.

[838] Yeah.

[839] Get him on the phone right now.

[840] What?

[841] That I could call him.

[842] Are you serious?

[843] Yeah.

[844] Get him on the phone.

[845] I can.

[846] Yeah, you want to tell it and then we'll call him after?

[847] Okay, because that's...

[848] Okay, we'll ask him about.

[849] He's good at writing.

[850] That's insane.

[851] He said, it was a weird year because someone poisoned Tylenol in Chicago.

[852] Oh.

[853] It was 1988, yes.

[854] What?

[855] Yes.

[856] So people were scared and kids were not trick -or -treating.

[857] Oh, so take it to the mental hospital.

[858] Wait, what?

[859] Okay, okay.

[860] So nurses on the other units had candy, and patients would give our kids treats.

[861] Oh, I guess.

[862] Some units, it was too dangerous, and they would slip the candy through a security slot in the door.

[863] Oh, my God, those children are like, I'm lurched now.

[864] On the gerontology psych unit.

[865] Old people.

[866] I feel like they're, like it's scared straight, kind of.

[867] That was safe, and old people gave the kids Reese's cups.

[868] We were waiting for all the old people who wanted to come give away some candy, and a nurse asked, Eddie, do you want to give the kids some candy?

[869] and I turned around and there he was.

[870] What?

[871] He did not want to hand out any candy.

[872] We set a quick hi to each other and he asked if we would be gone soon.

[873] I said, yeah, and that was it.

[874] So kids all over the country couldn't trick -or -treat because it wasn't safe, but my kids trick -or -treated to a cannibalistic necrophile and where safe as can be, strange world.

[875] That was all in that.

[876] All those texts?

[877] Can we get him on the phone real quick?

[878] Oh, no. Because that was a gorgeously written series of texts.

[879] Okay.

[880] Dad sell, it says.

[881] Yeah, he better answer.

[882] It's on you.

[883] Should I put him on speaker phone?

[884] Yes, you should.

[885] Oh, no. He's in the bathroom.

[886] Yeah, we are.

[887] We're just going to hang out.

[888] And we'll all scream.

[889] Uh, Steve, this is everybody at the Riverside Theater right now.

[890] We're here.

[891] We've got your daughter.

[892] We've got your daughter.

[893] And we're having a great old time.

[894] Elvis, do you want a cookie?

[895] Ah.