MFM Minisode 182

[0] This is exactly right.

[1] Welcome to my favorite murder.

[2] The mini -sode.

[3] It's mini.

[4] It's a soda.

[5] Let's grab a soad.

[6] Do it.

[7] Grab a road soda.

[8] Did anyone you know ever call beers road sodas?

[9] No. You're going to take it on your way to a party?

[10] That's drinking and driving.

[11] Oh.

[12] No. That's my special group of alcoholics.

[13] Sounds like a Sacramento thing.

[14] It's very flood plain behavior for sure.

[15] Road soda.

[16] Road soda.

[17] You have to drink on your way places because what if you get caught there in reality?

[18] Oh, my God.

[19] What did you guys do beer funds?

[20] Beer funds.

[21] What's that?

[22] It's when like we're about to go get beer and like everyone needs to put in beer funds.

[23] Beer funds.

[24] Everyone throws money in.

[25] And then you stand outside a grocery store or liquor store and find an older person willing to buy you liquor or booze.

[26] Hell yeah.

[27] We did that a lot.

[28] Yeah.

[29] I told you the story of us walking up.

[30] Please honestly stop me And Stephen can take this out if I don't know this before But in high school we did this thing one time Where it was the Alpha Beta Shopping Center So it was actually kind of a really big shopping center Alpha Beta!

[31] Alpha Beta was a very 70s, early 80s grocery store With a weird, did you guys have Alpha Beta?

[32] We had an Alpha Beta, yeah.

[33] And it was like, it was a rainbow, but it was Earth tones.

[34] It couldn't have been more like 1970s.

[35] Oh my God.

[36] So we're in the Alpha Beta Shopping Center.

[37] Me and my friend Christine and like a bunch of other friends but Christine and I are the ones that are on task.

[38] And we have like $60 that we've collected from everybody.

[39] $60 in beer funds.

[40] In beer funds, right?

[41] And we, some kid that we didn't know but was clearly another high school, like junior or senior trying to get liquors.

[42] Like, you should go over there.

[43] There's guys over there that'll buy for you.

[44] So we walk over to the scusiest looking station wagon that's like the tires are kind of flat.

[45] It's way too low to the ground.

[46] And there's two dudes in it that look like they.

[47] live on a riverbank like it was insanely sketchy and we just immediately lean and we're like hey will you buy liquor for us and they're like totally we lean in and start listing off all of the different liquors and flavors of wine cups but get the peach the fuzzy peach not the regular peach but if they don't have regular peach you can get peppermint schnops always got peppermint chops we we gave our order for literally five minutes the guys looking up like uh -huh like after a while he just thinks it's funny and he goes sounds good takes the money they throw it into reverse and drive away just without even pausing it was so hilarious and borderline dangerous oh guys it was nowadays your parents just buy it for you no yeah anyways are you ready yeah let's tell stories the subject line of this is hostile haunting hey everyone I have a ghost story for you.

[48] I've had weird experiences with the supernatural throughout my life, starting when I was really little, and things slowed down as I got older.

[49] They always do.

[50] But haven't completely stopped.

[51] When you're in college, I went to Chicago with some of my classmates for spring break.

[52] We stayed at a hostel, as thrifty college kids do, and all was well until I was getting ready for bed the first night.

[53] After getting out of the shower, I noticed some small, strange, dark marks in various places on my legs.

[54] They wouldn't wipe off.

[55] And they didn't hurt, but I unsuccessfully racked my brain trying to think of what I'd done in previous days that would have caused them.

[56] Nothing came to mind.

[57] I just shrugged it off and went to bed.

[58] The next morning when I woke up, the marks were a little darker.

[59] I thought it was super weird, but I just tried to ignore it and enjoy my trip.

[60] By the end of the following day, I had full -blown handprints up and down both legs, concentrated more on my calves and shins.

[61] I freaked out and started crying.

[62] And when I showed my friends, I could tell they were all freaked out too, but didn't want to scare me more.

[63] A friend reassured me by saying that if it was a ghost, they probably would have already hurt me if they actually wanted to.

[64] Thanks, friend.

[65] Thanks, best friend.

[66] This is, that's so me. You're clamoring for some words of comfort.

[67] So you just say whatever pops into your head.

[68] Don't really think about it first.

[69] This is comfort.

[70] I'm sure of it.

[71] I'm not sure if that actually made me feel better or not, but nothing worse happened and the bruises faded after we went back home.

[72] I don't remember the name of the hostel we stayed at, so I can't really Google its history, but I'm still curious about what that building could have been before it was a hostel.

[73] I think someone said it was a girls' boarding school, which would also explain the smaller than average size of the handprints.

[74] But I can't confirm that.

[75] I feel like a hostel is haunted enough.

[76] Like, it doesn't need to be anything else.

[77] Anyway, stay sexy and teach social distancing to your ghosts, Shannon.

[78] Cravy.

[79] You know what I would have said if I was Shannon's trying to be comforting but actually very insensitive friend, I would have said, it's probably not a ghost.

[80] It's probably a really little guy that's coming in and just touching your cow.

[81] It's probably a tiny demon.

[82] It's fine.

[83] Don't worry about it.

[84] I think it's a grad student from.

[85] down the hall that's just got real tiny little baby hands.

[86] It's a ghost baby demon grad student with baby tiny hands.

[87] Don't worry about it.

[88] Calf fetish for you.

[89] So it's fine.

[90] It's a compliment.

[91] It's a compliment.

[92] You have great cabs.

[93] Oh, that's a good story.

[94] Yeah.

[95] You should look it up.

[96] Someone tell us, yeah, what that means.

[97] What hostiles mean.

[98] Okay, this one's just called hometown story.

[99] It starts.

[100] So here we go.

[101] My uncle has spent his whole life working in the British music industry, mostly working gigs and managing bands.

[102] Ooh.

[103] One late night in the 80s, my uncle was driving home from work in his van.

[104] He was slow getting home, so he stopped by a pay phone to call my grandparents and let them know he'd be home late.

[105] That night, he woke up to cops ramming down his door.

[106] He was promptly arrested on suspicion of extortion and kidnapping.

[107] Turns out, some rich guy's daughter was kidnapped for ransom and was expected to negotiate.

[108] negotiate at that exact pay phone around the time my clueless uncle showed up van and all after searching my uncle's mini cottage on the edge of my grandparents property the police realized they had the wrong guy my uncle probably could have made some sweet cash out of being falsely arrested and searched without a warrant but alas they made an agreement to pretend it never happened due to the massive bag of weed hidden under his bed just as well they didn't search my grandparents as my grandpa was in the possession of an unregistered pistol he'd stolen from under the pillow of a murderous chef working at his restaurant.

[109] What?

[110] My grandpa had a few shifty restaurants near his sister's brothel, so there were a few wild things going on there.

[111] I'll save that for another time.

[112] You guys are an integral part of grounding myself when I'm drenched in sweat post -PTSD nightmares.

[113] Thank you for gently and hilariously reminding me that it could be worse and normalizing getting help.

[114] We should all feel safe to discuss therapy and men.

[115] bless kay okay okay okay uh identifies as she her also uh okay i just want to say that whole family should be arrested and put in prison or are they our best friends now or should they be our best friends or they should open a pot store right here's another idea they open a hostel hey hey hey a hostel with a sketchy restaurant at the bottom and a weed store on the top and a brothel close by Amen.

[116] Okay.

[117] The subject line of this is, well, it gives it all the way.

[118] I'll just read.

[119] The introduction is whatever, the greeting is, my favorite badass podcasting babes.

[120] I first want to start off by saying, thank you for always keeping me sane.

[121] I've been listening to your podcast for a few years now, and it's gotten me through the hell that is nursing school.

[122] Ah, yay, nurses.

[123] We need you.

[124] As someone who works in a psychiatric unit, I always love Karen's stories about her badass nurse mom.

[125] mom.

[126] A head nurse, by the way.

[127] Now, enough about me. Let's get to the real reason I'm writing you guys in the 80s.

[128] My dad was in his early 20s.

[129] And just like Stephen, he had a killer mustache.

[130] My dad at the time would go out to Colorado to work up my uncle's ranch.

[131] My dad was dating my mom at the time who lived in Illinois.

[132] So on an off week, my dad boarded what he thought would be a routine late night flight home.

[133] Little did he know was far from that.

[134] My dad boarded, greeted his seat neighbor and sat down.

[135] expecting to sleep the whole flight home.

[136] Shortly after my dad fell asleep, he woke up to a commotion in the row in front of him.

[137] The flight attendants were surrounding an elderly woman and her family trying to figure out what to do.

[138] Suddenly, the flight attendants asked, is there a doctor on board?

[139] Turns out the man sitting next to my dad was an ER doctor.

[140] He jumped up and took my dad with him.

[141] And while the doctor tended to the woman, my dad stood there in shock and became his assistant.

[142] according to the family the woman had many illnesses and was very sick unfortunately she passed after everything was wrapped up my dad and the doctor went back to their seats neither of them had ever dealt with death on a plane so they just assumed everything would be handled when they landed nope the plane took an emergency landing in the middle of nowhere so my dad and the doctor could sign a death certificate what they list the dad first it's like i think the doctor signed the death certificate your dad was the witness.

[143] Oh, my God.

[144] When the plane landed, my dad and the doctor were escorted off by airplane police.

[145] And then in parentheses, I don't know their official title.

[146] I'd think an air marshal, right?

[147] Sure.

[148] To an office to file the paperwork.

[149] My dad assumed they would also take the body off the plane when they landed, but he was wrong again.

[150] When they boarded back onto the plane, the woman was still sitting in her chair.

[151] This time she was propped up and wrapped in one of those thin airplane blankets.

[152] What?

[153] It looked like a weekend at Bernie's situation, according to my dad.

[154] The plane took off and landed safely in Illinois, where the woman was finally taken off the plane by the coroner.

[155] The best part of this is the coroner used the airplane blanket to cover the body while carrying her out.

[156] My dad was safely reunited with my mom, whom he eventually convinced to road trip back with him at the end of the week.

[157] Yeah.

[158] My dad has many crazy dead body stories, but this one is my favorite.

[159] Stay sexy and make sure you're not sitting next to a doctor on the plane.

[160] Thank you for all you do.

[161] Rachel.

[162] Can you imagine being like, well, that didn't work.

[163] Let's go back to our seats.

[164] What the fuck?

[165] That's so heavy.

[166] Also, I love that the dad thought they would leave the body.

[167] It's like, sorry, she paid that ticket.

[168] You have to take her.

[169] She needs to go where she needs to go.

[170] Can you bring her backstage?

[171] Is there a backstage?

[172] There's poor woman.

[173] She's like sitting there while like snacks are being served.

[174] Yeah, sorry.

[175] Those pretzels aren't going to taste too good this time.

[176] You know what?

[177] You can have someone you get off the plane.

[178] You can.

[179] It's so, it's a lot.

[180] It's dark.

[181] This one, I'm not going to say the name of it, but this is one of my favorite, like, ill -fated town stories that I've just been obsessed with my whole life.

[182] So it starts, hi, all.

[183] Since we're all into underground ghost towns these days, I thought I'd give you the opposite.

[184] A ghost town that has been on fire for over 50 years.

[185] What?

[186] I grew up near Centrelia.

[187] Centrelia?

[188] I grew up near Centrelia, Pennsylvania, a town that was once a busy town with a booming coal mining industry.

[189] It is possible the town itself was doomed from the start when in 1868, its founder Alexander Ray was murdered in a routine buggy ride to a nearby town.

[190] His death was attributed to a gang of Molly Maguire's, which is a secret society of Irish immigrant activists.

[191] I don't know why I'm pointing at you.

[192] You know, like you, Karen.

[193] My people, yeah.

[194] Though they may have been framed by owners of the mines who feared the mollies would unionize their workers.

[195] And then it just says in parentheses, America.

[196] Cut to 100 years later in 1962, when the town decided to clean up the local dump ahead of Memorial Day celebrations.

[197] In true 1960s fashion, the method for cleaning the landfill was to set it on fire.

[198] No. Unlike in previous years, they were not able to put the fire out.

[199] the coal veins under the dump caught fire.

[200] It spread underground to other coal veins and eventually to the many abandoned mine tunnels and cold deposits under the entire town.

[201] There's fucking video of this online.

[202] You can see it.

[203] Officials attempted to put out the fire, but it was nearly impossible to determine which of the many tunnels and veins were feeding the fire.

[204] For years, the fire burned on.

[205] The temperature of the ground became nearly 900 degrees and smoke and steam would pour from cracks in the ground, sinkholes and even residence basements.

[206] In 1981, a 12 -year -old boy fell into a steaming sinkhole that had suddenly opened in his backyard.

[207] This has everything.

[208] I mean, this story.

[209] But also, they still lived, I mean, it's like, they were like, well, where do we go?

[210] This is our whole town.

[211] This is our fucking town.

[212] It's not my house is on fire underground.

[213] It's the whole fucking places.

[214] Our earth.

[215] Our earth is on fire.

[216] Our little piece of earth.

[217] Yeah.

[218] We're simmering.

[219] His cousin pulled him out of the hole, which was billowing hot steam with lethal levels of carbon monoxide.

[220] So he survived.

[221] Residents of Centrella were divided on whether the fire posed a true risk, as many did not want to relocate from their hometown.

[222] After the sinkhole incident, a thousand people were relocated and 500 structures were demolished.

[223] It was very painful chapter for these residents and even a few stayed behind and five or so remained today.

[224] Whoa.

[225] Fucking fire ghost town.

[226] I mean growing up we would drive through their skin looks amazing the steam is like opens up growing up we would drive through centrilla to see the eerie steam and smoke arising from the ground at the cemetery today it looks like an overgrown field with mysterious cracked and buckling roads paved through the foundations of some homes hinting to a past not forgotten it is less common now to see the smoke as it is possible the fire is nearly burned out or migrated underground, but the apocalyptic aura remains.

[227] Stay sexy and don't burn trash, Mo. Or Moe, M -O -W.

[228] Amazing.

[229] Don't burn trash.

[230] God, I would love to see video of that from when it was at its height.

[231] Because I think that there's a video game, is it a Silent Hill that's based on, they designed the landscape of that video game based on that city.

[232] This is definitely like...

[233] Yeah, no, they did.

[234] They did.

[235] Wow.

[236] I just thought, yeah.

[237] Woo!

[238] Millennial.

[239] So good.

[240] That's so great.

[241] Yeah, I think there's like 80s a video.

[242] Like Geraldo Rivera did a special on it or some shit.

[243] And I just remember seeing it being like, fucking fire ghost town.

[244] When I was just home in Petaluma, we, um, uh, one night because my cousin, Stevie and Kim came over and we all ate dinner.

[245] And we all started telling.

[246] stories about the dump, which is where, like, because we lived so far out in the country, there was no garbage pickup.

[247] You had to take your own garbage to the dump.

[248] Amazing.

[249] And it was like a thing that we did like once a month.

[250] My dad always would like, want to go to the dumps with me?

[251] And you'd always say yes, because it was like a, you know, poor people's amusement park, essentially.

[252] And it was like, that's when I started getting obsessed with like what would eventually be vintage stores.

[253] Yeah.

[254] But at the time, I would stand on the, on the edge of that big pit.

[255] Did you go through things?

[256] What if there's something down there?

[257] Well, no, it was like a 30 foot drop between where you pull, because it was old school dump where you, my dad would back the truck up to the edge of this pit and you just dump everything out.

[258] Like lovely bones.

[259] Lovely bones style.

[260] Exactly.

[261] But I mean, it was a city run thing.

[262] So you couldn't dump paint there and there was like a slightly extra area.

[263] But in the 70s, it was like go put whatever you want to.

[264] out there like it have that sometimes it caught on fire sometimes it did yeah sometimes it would be treasure i mean i would just like scan remember they would have well at least where i'm from in orange county they would have a um like at the new year they'd have a christmas tree fire everyone bought their christmas trees oh i only remember this once so maybe it really didn't go well but and we're jewish so like we didn't have anything their brain i think we just went to watch the christmas tree fire sure like like a bonfire yeah it sounds like a huge fucking towering thing of Christmas trees.

[265] Must have smelled amazing.

[266] Yeah.

[267] Yeah.

[268] Yeah.

[269] Yeah.

[270] Your turn.

[271] Lasties.

[272] Okay.

[273] Yeah.

[274] I love you, Centrelia.

[275] Good job.

[276] I love you.

[277] I mean, what a...

[278] Oh, truly.

[279] If you ever want to make up a place where you're from, do that.

[280] Centrelia.

[281] It's me. It's me. I'm from Centralia.

[282] It's me. What do you expect?

[283] I live in a hostel now.

[284] Karen, you know I'm all about vintage shopping.

[285] Absolutely.

[286] And when you say vintage, you mean, when you physically drive to a store and actually purchase something with cash.

[287] Exactly.

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[304] Goodbye.

[305] This is a, the subject line of this is a kid say the darndest things story, lighthearted.

[306] So, I was listening to the minisode about the girl who told her teacher, my dad beat me. And I immediately chuckled because there's some, because something similar happened to me. My mother, parentheses, a badass trauma ICU nurse who worked on the south side of Chicago while I was growing up.

[307] Holy shit.

[308] Just a warrior props to all Chicago nurses Was at work one day when I was very young leaving me at home with my dad My dad was swinging me around in circles What?

[309] Sorry My dad was swinging me around in circles in our backyard when pop goes my elbow dislocating it Also known as a nursemaid's elbow, a fairly common injury in younger children They're so pliable little kids They really are My dad told me that I looked at him in horror And screamed, you broke my arm Which was my first full sentence According to my dad So she's a Yeah, I think it's she because it's Gina A little enough baby Two, that's like two Yeah That it's like first sentence area And her friend says screaming, you broke my arm Which was My dad freaked out and called my mom, who told him to simply take me to the ER so they can pop it back into place.

[310] I can't.

[311] She keeps screaming.

[312] You broke my arm.

[313] They're going to think I'm beating her.

[314] My dad frantically replied.

[315] My mother ended up clocking out for lunch, driving home, popping my arm back into place in a matter of seconds and leaving to finish her shift.

[316] My mom was always calm in emergency situations, like when my dad cut the tip of his finger off in a sausage grinder or when she saved a man from choking to death at a fish fry by performing CPR.

[317] She's incredible and the reason both my younger brother and I are now ER nurses.

[318] Holy shit.

[319] Wow.

[320] It's a dynasty.

[321] Except for your dad.

[322] What, what?

[323] Except for your dad.

[324] Except your dad, he's useless.

[325] He runs a business breaking children's arms.

[326] He runs a child's mafia business.

[327] It's pretty.

[328] adorable actually it's actually they only borrow quarters from each other oh precious you guys are the absolute fucking best thank you for being you jina i love that i love that story that's a great one i love that story send us those you guys send us nurse nurse mom stories right always send nurse mom stories also if you send us a story and you talk about your mother father grandpa grandma please tell us their names that's right please well speaking of grandpa i have one and i don't think his name in this.

[329] That's okay.

[330] Sweet.

[331] Oh, also, what about, um, if you ever found anything amazing at the dump in the 70s or 80s, I would like to hear that story because that's my dream.

[332] Amazing or horrible.

[333] Yeah.

[334] I mean, like, absolutely horrible or, you know, creepy or whatever.

[335] But like, if you have a good dumps going to the dump story, people who live out in the country, I'm talking to you.

[336] Or like, if there's like a town dump rumor, we want to hear about that.

[337] Yeah.

[338] Okay.

[339] This one, not going to read the title it just says hi no bullshit just hi this happened to a friend of mine and i've never been so jealous his grandfather on his mother's side was getting up in years and developed dementia he started telling wild stories of exotic countries he'd visited for work and crazy investigations he'd conducted there following doctor's orders when he got into these stories his family had to reorient him by saying no grandpa you worked for the phone company remember as an engineer you traveled a little but only in this country.

[340] So they just completely ruined his hopes and dementia dreams.

[341] They just negated his whole fantasy.

[342] Right.

[343] Fast forward a few months and grandpa sadly passed away.

[344] While cleaning out his house and moving his belongings, his children lifted up the mattress to find.

[345] All caps, his fucking CIA badge and identification.

[346] What?

[347] Yep.

[348] All those stories were 100 % true.

[349] He did work for the Bell Atlantic phone company, but it was unclear to his family whether the CIA had assigned him there to assist with phone tapping, or he started there, and the CIA hired him because they thought he'd be a helpful, a helpful resource.

[350] Either way.

[351] The phone company is a complete front for the CIA.

[352] Phones aren't even real.

[353] Phones aren't even real.

[354] Oh my God.

[355] My head hurts.

[356] Either way, they started putting together weird details that suddenly made sense.

[357] For example, that he'd gone for weeks at a time, quote, lecturing and that one time he'd had a few drinks and hypnotized slash brainwashed a woman in the middle of a party.

[358] They couldn't get any details about his work, but it's still the coolest damn thing ever.

[359] Stay sexing and don't not believe your grandpa's wild stories, Kate.

[360] Kate.

[361] Kate.

[362] If that's true and it better be, that's the best thing of all time.

[363] Because this was my only thing.

[364] I flinched at the idea what's a CIA badge.

[365] Isn't the whole thing with CIA is that no knows you work there.

[366] Sure.

[367] I guess they wouldn't be like.

[368] Are you wearing your laminate?

[369] They don't have like a sash, like a Miss America sash.

[370] It's actually looks like a CNABahn shirt, but it just says CIA and smell, it smells so good.

[371] It's one of those like auto insurance things that people stand on the arrows that guys stand on the corner and flip and stuff.

[372] But it points to you and says, I'm in the CIA.

[373] I'm in the CIA.

[374] Me. That's your badge.

[375] That's your badge.

[376] Your badge is a whole guy that can do sign acrobatics.

[377] You know what?

[378] Everyone right now, make a fake CIA badge and put it under your mattress just in case something happens to you.

[379] Just in case for just to fuck with your family.

[380] Let's fucking do it.

[381] It makes sense though because I bet you this is my theory.

[382] The way dementia usually works is your, I think, your brain goes backwards in time like it erodes.

[383] So your memory has become more and more from before.

[384] So maybe it was like he worked in his 20s or 30s or 40s or whatever in the CIA and then just kind of like went into wiretapping, which is much easier and more low -key in his later years.

[385] Yeah.

[386] And it's like, yeah, that's what his brain is remembering.

[387] And he's forgotten that he's not supposed to talk about it.

[388] Yes.

[389] So he think, oh, my God.

[390] The whole part of his brain that says, X -Nay, you have to put that in the vault.

[391] Like, the vault door opened.

[392] That's right.

[393] And then he was just like, guys, you wouldn't believe the shit I've done.

[394] Oh, my God.

[395] I love, I'm sorry, but that's a real upside.

[396] It is.

[397] It was a terrible disease.

[398] It is.

[399] Bless his heart.

[400] Send us your stories.

[401] There's so many options at this point.

[402] If you don't have a story, send it and we'll start making the thing because I bet it's good.

[403] Nouns and adjectives in, you'll be fine.

[404] That's right.

[405] Just, yeah, but yeah, thank you.

[406] Just thank you and stay sexy.

[407] And don't get murdered.

[408] Goodbye.

[409] Elvis, do you want a cookie?