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[0] This is exactly right.
[1] Hey, this is exciting.
[2] An all -new season of only murders in the building is coming to Hulu on August 27th.
[3] Steve Martin, Martin Short, and Selena Gomez are back as your favorite podcaster, detectives.
[4] But there's a mystery hanging over everyone.
[5] Who killed Saz?
[6] And were they really after Charles?
[7] Why would someone want to kill Charles?
[8] This season, murder hits close to home.
[9] With a threat against one of their own, the stakes are higher than ever.
[10] Plus, the gang is going to Hollywood to turn their podcast into a major movie.
[11] Amid the glitz and glamour of Los Angeles, more mysteries and twists arise.
[12] Who knows what will happen once the cameras start to roll?
[13] Get ready for the stariest season yet with Merrill Streep, Zach Alfinacus, Eugene Levy, Eva Longoria, Melissa McCarthy, DeVine, Joy Randolph, Molly Shannon, and more.
[14] Only murders in the building, premieres August 27th, streaming only on Hulu.
[15] Goodbye.
[16] Are you ready to do a minisote?
[17] I'm ready, you know.
[18] And my husband's here?
[19] Larry, Aranci.
[20] I'd like to thank Karen, Karen.
[21] Oh, Dorda Hart's Talk.
[22] Oh, she's so lovely.
[23] You know, she's been around so long.
[24] You know.
[25] Clearly, we're watching Emmys.
[26] The great actress, Ann Dow, just won a best -supporting actress in a drama series Emmy.
[27] And we're so happy for her.
[28] Oh, my God.
[29] We have loved her since Day Fucking One.
[30] Mimi would play her in a miniseries of her life.
[31] In the miniseries, we're going to produce about Ann Dow's life.
[32] Yeah.
[33] And Mimi has the cadence down purpose.
[34] perfectly you know my agent what a lovely person welcome to my favorite murder oh hi this is a minisode where we read your hometown murders yeah that you send in and that we love and that are so great can i say speaking of hometowns we put up last week this live sydney episode where we had joe thorny lovely girl do the moonwalk yes uh and her miniso i mean her fuck her hometown yes so last night i check we her podcast is ellet that she mentioned is now number three on on the comedy iTunes podcast.
[35] Yes, people have been sending pictures of that.
[36] For a little while, she was right underneath Joe Rogan.
[37] She was the number two podcast.
[38] Oh, that's higher than us then.
[39] Yeah, she was destroying worlds.
[40] That's amazing.
[41] Cool.
[42] Yeah, I just think it's so awesome that like, like, Margarinos were like, well, I want to listen to this, and now she's like, huge.
[43] Fuck, yes.
[44] And she was so hilarious.
[45] Yeah, she was super cool.
[46] I haven't listened to it yet.
[47] I promise it will by the next episode, and then we'll never talk about it again.
[48] Oh, to Zellet?
[49] Yeah.
[50] I haven't listened to it yet.
[51] Look, we've been home from, Australia for how many days I've no idea it's three four three three three Stephen do you know there's he just yeah yeah it's been a fever dream uh three days five days five Wednesday Thursday Friday Saturday today Sunday oh five days yeah and I feel like I'm getting crazier by the day I I know I am because I'm sleeping in four hour increments all day long me too and watching TV and going into Strange World's, like, I did a thing where I was only watching Mateus Schoenardt's movies.
[52] I don't know if that's really how you pronounce his name.
[53] But he was the guy from far from Madden and Crowd and Rustin Bone.
[54] He's an insanely gorgeous, talented.
[55] What's that?
[56] Art House films.
[57] Yeah, I'm only into Art House films and films that are shown in houses or art museums.
[58] Our galleries.
[59] But anyway, it was almost as if, you know, you do a thing where you're only watching movies from one actor or one thing.
[60] and then you're in that world.
[61] So it's like a subworld from the weird world I'm already in.
[62] Well, guess what?
[63] What?
[64] We're not.
[65] Here we are in my apartment again.
[66] Finally, it's been so long.
[67] I can't wait to record an actual episode this week in my apartment, like normal human beings.
[68] I know.
[69] Don't have to pick one from the city we're in.
[70] Yes.
[71] And we normally wouldn't have put up that Sydney Live episode so soon.
[72] But because of the Melbourne, what we'll call the Melbourne incident.
[73] How about the Melbourne meltdown?
[74] The Melbourne meltdown.
[75] We wanted people to know, like, it turned into some weird thing where people were talking more about it than knew about it.
[76] And so it was getting very dramatic.
[77] So we wanted people to know what the real story was.
[78] But from here on out, regular episodes, regular minisodes until we just can't do an episode.
[79] And we'll put up a live one.
[80] Brisbane was good.
[81] I mean, that first night in Melbourne was great.
[82] Yeah.
[83] We had lots of great shows.
[84] We did.
[85] Auckland was hilarious.
[86] Yes.
[87] And we had several special guests.
[88] accidentally on that show.
[89] Yeah, that was a good show.
[90] So many choices, everybody.
[91] So this is, but this is the Minnesota, will you guys send us your hometown, you know, family, whatever the fuck murders that we love?
[92] And these ones are specifically from Australia and New Zealand.
[93] Right.
[94] To kind of close out the theme of what our life has been like.
[95] I found we, so we bring home, Vince bought us an extra large suitcase to bring home all of our beautiful presents that we got in Australia.
[96] And Georgia sent me away from the airport with a bag that I didn't eat.
[97] She was like, this is yours.
[98] Take this with you.
[99] And I put it on the counter.
[100] I went, I went to sleep for two days, whatever, got up.
[101] And we started looking through the bag today.
[102] And God bless you for putting in a full bag of those caramel koala bears.
[103] Oh, those caramel koalas.
[104] There's a whole, so I had like 15 caramel koala bears.
[105] Oh, my God.
[106] That are the.
[107] best candy so delicious and they were just sitting there i thought i didn't bring any candy home except for those candy bars that we got in new zealand uh anyway long story short god bless the carmel koala bear rest in peace it because i destroyed all of them um but that was exciting okay so then my first uh i'm going first right sure you just said oh uh did you no probably in my brain and you heard it because we're on the same fucking wade land i felt like you yeah we were I was waiting for you to go first, so I think that you must have heard that.
[108] I was getting that vibe.
[109] I'm going to start with the subject line.
[110] Detective Dad says it wasn't a dingo.
[111] Okay.
[112] Oh, the dingo story.
[113] I am obsessed with this.
[114] Okay.
[115] Hi, Stephen, Karen, Georgia, Mimi, Elvis, Dottie, George and Frank.
[116] Well, love it.
[117] That actually is a nice rhythm to it now.
[118] Nobody can die.
[119] I can't wait for your arrival down under.
[120] Isn't that fun?
[121] Oh, my God.
[122] It happened.
[123] The past.
[124] I saw your tour dates and practically peed myself with excitement.
[125] Put more on that later.
[126] Really?
[127] I hope so.
[128] Firstly, your podcast has helped me connect with my parents after many years of being a very difficult teenager.
[129] Wow.
[130] But we found common ground with a passion for two crimes.
[131] Oh, my God.
[132] I love that.
[133] The guilt of being a bad teenager and your parents still loving you is a really rough thing to go through.
[134] Yes.
[135] Because you're like, your guilt and shame turns into you being a dick.
[136] still yes and there's always there's nothing I regret more than never I never stopped fighting with my mom my whole life and I should have stopped when I was in my early 30s but it was we were so reactive to each other that we just fought all the time and at that point at that point she's been a grown woman the whole time you guys have been fighting so she's not going to change and unfortunately it's up to you which sucks and it's hard and you're like well she's an adult she needs to change and really it's like she's not going to change she's not going to change it's your mom it's how you want to deal with it yeah that's exactly right it's like it's up to you and i think but also that was so long ago before i was ever in therapy and i you were really young i don't think you had a lot of time to figure that out yeah i yeah i think it's that and yeah when you don't know that there's an option that you can actually stop having that engagement right it's such an amazing thing because i just believed well this is how i am and i'm always going to be my mom and i don't get along yeah that's it it's just she's always going to infuriate me and say that my the thing i was thinking about the other day she used to always criticize my clothes and say i was dressing too young and i was in my early 20s she was so crazy she was so crazy when it came to appearance shit she was really yeah so like i was looking through something that's some deep like you got to think in her that's some deep seated shit of what'll people think about me yes you know 100 % that's some fucked up shit that you can't fix that she can't fix that no because she had double alcoholic parents oh yeah she had it coming every direction yeah my mom would say my grandma when I moved in with her my mom when I was 18 I'd be leaving the house and my grandma would be like to my mom are you gonna let her dress like that I'm a fucking 18 year old girl I guess yeah she is gonna let me dress like that the thing I would always end up screaming was you're you don't have good taste I don't care about your taste like Like, I know you'll never like my lugs sold, like, boots.
[137] Yeah.
[138] You're not supposed to like them.
[139] The point is that adults don't want to hang out with me. Yes.
[140] Right.
[141] Sorry.
[142] No. No, that's good.
[143] But I have to say, and I've said this before, she was so right about 90s fashion.
[144] Because she'd always be like, you look, you all look like hobos, boys and girls.
[145] And if you see pictures, like early 90s where it's so cool.
[146] It's the huge plaid shirts where you're basically dressed like a boy stoner from the 70s.
[147] And like a, what are they called, a beanie?
[148] Yes.
[149] But it's so cool.
[150] Chokers, beanies.
[151] Fuck.
[152] Baby bangs.
[153] Angry faces.
[154] Cigarettes.
[155] Smoking.
[156] Kirk Cobain.
[157] So cool.
[158] Guys, we're in the middle of an email.
[159] But we love, we love this reunion.
[160] It's very nice to hear about.
[161] Okay.
[162] So my mom is a true crime author.
[163] Wow.
[164] And my dad is a detective.
[165] What?
[166] Why did we stop talking?
[167] Get me adopted immediately.
[168] for real okay um my dad's a detective mostly known for his work as the lead detective in the lindy chamberlain case a k a dingo ate my baby this this fucking case this email which i would love to say is my hometown murder but since an inquest in 2012 and to avoid a defamation lawsuit we have to say it was a dingo that took the baby okay listen to this what instead my hometown murder oh okay so instead my hometown murder comes from a city called Perth, which had some of the most notorious serial killers in Australia in the 80s and 90s.
[169] Oh, Perth, we know.
[170] Oh, we know, we'll be back.
[171] We got yelled, just please know Perth and Adelaide.
[172] Every single citizen seemingly from both cities came to yell at us for not visiting those cities.
[173] Yeah, and we understand.
[174] We're coming.
[175] No brag, no brag, but every single citizen.
[176] Okay.
[177] Okay.
[178] So instead my hometown murder comes from the city of Perth.
[179] which had some of the most notorious, sorry.
[180] My parents packed up from the dingo crime scene and were like, where can we go that has less dingoes but is more murdery, oh, Perth.
[181] So this is the murder of Shirley Finn.
[182] Shirley grew up in Perth and the 1950s and she herself was a difficult teenager.
[183] But instead of having her phone taken away when she was caught sneaking out, she was kicked out of home and became a sex worker.
[184] She later became a brothel owner and in the 70s she was helping the Western Australian government launder money from overseas.
[185] But in 1975, for real, in 1975, she threatened to expose them for being shady fuckers, and she was found days later on the side of a busy highway in her car with four bullets in her head.
[186] Despite countless witnesses and evidence, the case went unsolved for over 30 years until my mom had a midlife crisis in 2002 and decided she wanted to solve a murder.
[187] What?
[188] Because...
[189] I love that that's your midlife crisis.
[190] it's like the midlife prices is my dream hell yes um because raising three kids wasn't hard enough that was the end of that sense since then it's been 15 years of hard work tears and some more tears but finally on september 11th 2017 that just happened there was an official inquest into the murder the same day as your live show at the end more theater which i'll be at and which is why i practically peed myself.
[191] Oh, got it.
[192] It did come back around.
[193] Fingers crossed, she gets justice, and mom can finally get some time to listen to FMFN with me. Thanks so much for all you do, lots of love Beck.
[194] P .S., my mom's book is called Dirty Girl by Juliet Will's, which I do have copies to give to you as present.
[195] Oh, wait, she did give them.
[196] She gave us those.
[197] Did she?
[198] Did she?
[199] I believe so.
[200] Okay.
[201] Yes.
[202] Were we given books at that last meet and greet where we're on the little stage?
[203] Yeah, we got a couple books, so.
[204] Yeah.
[205] So, yeah, we did.
[206] Okay.
[207] Her name was Beck.
[208] Everyone's name was back.
[209] You pointed that out.
[210] That's Beck and Gemma.
[211] Back and Gemma.
[212] Jima.
[213] Wow.
[214] That's so crazy.
[215] I want my mom to be a true crime writer.
[216] Or maybe I should be a true crime writer.
[217] I love that the option isn't for me, myself, to be a true crime writer.
[218] You want Janet to do it.
[219] Yeah.
[220] Yeah, I want Janet to do it.
[221] No, you have to do it.
[222] You can do it.
[223] I can do it.
[224] That's fucking cool.
[225] That's a good one, Steven.
[226] I want to, do you know about the dingo thing?
[227] Because I want to know more of what she's saying.
[228] Because what I thought was they, maybe one of us should do it at some point.
[229] Yeah, well, basically is the dingo ate my baby.
[230] They were like, no, the dingo did not eat your baby.
[231] And they sent her to jail for years and years and years.
[232] And then they overturned it just recently.
[233] Because they found dingo, the baby clothing in the dingo layer.
[234] Yeah.
[235] But she's saying, she just said, that's not true.
[236] Everyone knows that she did.
[237] So I want that part.
[238] Yes.
[239] I thought that's what that email was going to be.
[240] Me too.
[241] Can we, can she, can we have an, can she please email us?
[242] Beck, if you, but maybe she can't, like she's saying defamation reasons, if the legal thing is what it is, her dad can't say anything.
[243] We promise.
[244] We won't tell that you did it.
[245] We promise.
[246] Oh, you mean we won't talk about it on the air?
[247] No, we'll talk about it on the air, but we won't say where we got the information.
[248] So Beck.
[249] We just randomly start talking about that lady one day.
[250] Well, if we do the murder, they'd be like, and then some, one of the many Becks in Australia emailed us.
[251] This is weird because we got this email, not from anyone.
[252] And it wasn't from the person we asked to send it to us.
[253] No, it was not at all from back.
[254] Weird.
[255] Can we please have a Beck email us, the truth?
[256] I wonder if it's that thing of when cops are so inside it, they know every single thing, so it can't be anything else.
[257] What do you mean?
[258] It's like they know the family.
[259] Yeah.
[260] They lived it.
[261] They were there in the beginning.
[262] So it's like, you know that thing where you go like, I just got this feeling about this person.
[263] Yeah.
[264] And you know you're right because it was a thing that happened inside you.
[265] You know that feeling, but you can't express it.
[266] Or like, it's information.
[267] that only people who are involved in the case now.
[268] So if we have that information, it's because someone fucking leaked it.
[269] Right.
[270] Yeah.
[271] But I'm just saying, I think cops go through that a lot.
[272] They have those instinctual things.
[273] But there's no evidence.
[274] It has to be proven.
[275] But just tell us then.
[276] And we won't tell anyone.
[277] Why do you?
[278] What do you know?
[279] Don't tease us.
[280] What do you know that we need to know?
[281] Listen, did or didn't it?
[282] Did or didn't it?
[283] Just did or didn't it?
[284] All right.
[285] Dear Karen, Georgia, Stephen, and many assorted animals.
[286] My name is Teresa, and I'm from rural South Australia.
[287] My husband is a police officer not too long ago.
[288] We moved to this small town where there was a siege slash hostage situation and a house located a small way out of town in a large block.
[289] The houses in this area were very, very spread out with great fines.
[290] And it's not unusual to have a neighbor this close by.
[291] to not have a neighbor this close by there was a husband who was holding his wife hostage with a large gun because this is Australia and hardly anyone has guns this was the sort of situation a police officer would have encountered maybe once in his entire career long story short the specialist police had to come up from the city about 250 kilometers to handle the situation not long after the specialist police arrived the man shot and killed his wife and the police stormed the house and the husband was also shot He died one hour later from a gunshot wound.
[292] My husband was not on duty when it happened, but happened to come onto the shift that night.
[293] Him being the most junior of the team, he was tasked with standing at the house all night to maintain the integrity of the scene while a major crime and internal investigations arrived.
[294] Her body was still in the house.
[295] He had been taken away because he didn't die instantly of his gunshot wound.
[296] So my husband stood guard all night that night.
[297] The next night, he had to stand guard again.
[298] And at the end of the night, it was his job to clean up the scene as best as possible, including picking up bits of brain and bone from the floor.
[299] Oh, God.
[300] Before releasing the house back to her family.
[301] Man, it sucks being a junior cop.
[302] Anyway, a few months later, Hubby was on the night shift again.
[303] Around 3 a .m., he gets a call to a house for a noise complaint.
[304] He attended the house of the person making the complaint because the houses are so spread apart.
[305] It's hard to know where the noise is coming from.
[306] He knocks on the door and is told they have been hearing this couple yell at each other for the last few hours.
[307] he can hear it too so he heads off into the darkness towards the arguing his torch his only light he's walking around for five minutes and he finds a house the apparent source of the arguing voices he walks under their veranda and it dawns on him he's been here before he looks to the window and can see the bullet holes in the wall with the ballistic markers still under them the house has been abandoned since the siege his blood ran cold and he sprinted back to his car and drove away without reporting back to the person who made the complaint.
[308] Chances are they had no idea that their closest neighboring house is a haunted murder house.
[309] He's still a bit freaked out by the time he got home from his shift.
[310] Usually you're both not superstitious people, but this was a super fucking crazy thing.
[311] Anyway, thanks for the podcast and thanks for coming down under.
[312] I'm super bummed.
[313] I have to miss you guys in Melbourne, but sometimes you just have to adult SSDGM, Teresa.
[314] Oh my God, they were arguing ghosts.
[315] They were still arguing in the afterlife.
[316] Fuck, dude.
[317] What a bummer.
[318] Also, that family that just like, our fucking neighbors, could you please go fix it?
[319] And it's like, yeah, no. That's actually.
[320] Oh, my God.
[321] Like, they've stopped fighting recently, but they're fighting again.
[322] Oh, that's so scary.
[323] Don't let, don't live your life so that the last thing you do in this life becomes the permanent thing you're doing in the afterlife, which is like, continue.
[324] I hate that.
[325] Killing your wife.
[326] Are they just fighting for eternity?
[327] Oh, my God.
[328] That's the worst feeling in the world.
[329] Everyone just keeps fighting.
[330] No, it's just an echo of the trauma.
[331] It's not really them.
[332] There's still a birthday party in there.
[333] There's still some good times.
[334] Yeah, the trauma was so horrible that there's bursts of that still.
[335] Okay, but there is an ice cream cake that gets walked out.
[336] That one wonderful day when they had an ice cream cake, there's bursts of that too.
[337] But nobody, the neighbors are going to be like, can you shut this happy family out?
[338] No. That's not going to happen.
[339] That's right.
[340] It's only the yellow.
[341] The ice cream cake, ghost audio, goes low because it's a beautiful quiet moment.
[342] Or it goes high, but nobody calls in an ice cream cake sound complaint.
[343] Because only cats can hear it.
[344] That's why Mimi just did that jump.
[345] She was like, blah.
[346] Ice cream happy.
[347] Whoever lived here in this apartment before?
[348] They were very happy.
[349] It's really annoying.
[350] Mimi, girl.
[351] Okay.
[352] Karen, you know I'm all about vintage shopping.
[353] Absolutely.
[354] When you say vintage, you mean when you physically drive to a store and actually purchase something with cash.
[355] Exactly.
[356] And if you're a small business owner, you might know Shopify is great for online sales.
[357] But did you know that they also power in -person sales?
[358] That's right.
[359] Shopify is the sound of selling everywhere, online, in store, on social media, and beyond.
[360] Give your point -of -sale system a serious upgrade with Shopify.
[361] From accepting payments to managing inventory, they have everything you need to sell in person.
[362] So give your point of sale system a serious upgrade with Shopify.
[363] Their sleek, reliable POS hardware takes every major payment method and looks fabulous at the same time.
[364] With Shopify, we have a powerful partner for managing our sales.
[365] And if you're a business owner, you can too.
[366] Connect with customers in line and online.
[367] Do retail right with Shopify.
[368] Sign up for a $1 per month trial period at Shopify .com slash murder.
[369] Important note, that promo code is all lowercase.
[370] Go to Shopify .com slash murder to take your retail business to the next level today.
[371] That's Shopify .com slash murder.
[372] Goodbye.
[373] Hey, this is exciting.
[374] An all -new season of only murders in the building is coming to Hulu on August 27th.
[375] Steve Martin, Martin Short, and Selena Gomez are back as your favorite podcaster detectives.
[376] But there's a mystery hanging over everyone.
[377] Who killed Saz?
[378] And were they really after Charles?
[379] Why would someone want to kill Charles?
[380] This season, murder hits close to home.
[381] With a threat against one of their own, the stakes are higher than ever.
[382] Plus, the gang is going to Hollywood to turn their podcast and a major movie.
[383] Amid the glitz and glamour of Los Angeles, more mysteries and twists arise.
[384] Who knows what'll happen once the cameras start to roll?
[385] Get ready for the stariest season yet with Merrill Streep, Zach Alfenakis, Eugene Levy, Eva Longoria, Melissa McCarthy, Devine, Joy Randolph, Molly Shannon, and more.
[386] Only Martyrs in the Building, premieres August 27th, streaming only on Hulu.
[387] Goodbye.
[388] Are you ready for New Zealand online video game demon?
[389] Mm -hmm.
[390] BFF killer.
[391] Oh, yeah, I know.
[392] Shit.
[393] Hi, Karen, Georgia, and Steven.
[394] I love your podcast.
[395] Always listen to my car on the way to and from work, so my husband doesn't think I'm a total creep.
[396] Parentheses, he is a detective and is already convinced I only married him for his access to cry.
[397] I would love nothing more than to use a cop.
[398] Fuck, yeah.
[399] For his anecdotal participation.
[400] I'm current, that sounded so much dirtier than I meant it.
[401] I only realized after.
[402] I'm currently pregnant, and I've started thinking that I probably shouldn't expose my unborn child to so much murder, although I'm sure he will fall asleep to your sultry tones once he's born.
[403] Just don't breastfeed while you're listening.
[404] I feel like that's the only thing you shouldn't do.
[405] That's the key, because it changes the DNA of the breast muscle.
[406] Exactly.
[407] He'll listen to your sultry tones once he's born.
[408] Apparently, they start to recognize voices in the womb.
[409] Oh, my God.
[410] I'm either producing a baby murderina or the next generation serial killer.
[411] Time will tell.
[412] Okay, I wonder if this is the woman that, just really quick sidebar, a lady at the Melbourne show, I think it was the second or third night, I can't remember, brought a one -month -old baby with her that was wearing, was it the first night?
[413] She was, the baby was wearing headphones, the whole show.
[414] Like block out noise headphones.
[415] Not like she was rocking out to Jay -Z or whatever.
[416] No, like this is not going to go inside you, but it was.
[417] A month old baby in her arms.
[418] I almost screamed out loud.
[419] Me too.
[420] It was disturbing.
[421] I got so excited.
[422] I just loved babies.
[423] I got so excited.
[424] It was a pretty good baby.
[425] Yeah.
[426] And it was just sleeping the whole time.
[427] Yeah, it didn't give a shit.
[428] No. Anyway, my hometown murder comes from a small suburb called Highland Park in Auckland, New Zealand.
[429] I actually stumbled across a secondary crime scene while walking my dog the day after it happened.
[430] Ugh, the dream.
[431] In February, 2013, Byron Armstrong.
[432] was playing an online video game Magic the Gathering Stephen Which he was Apparently obsessed with Stephen He was playing against his friend Henry Henry had apparently defeated him Again and after hearing voices In his head telling him that Henry Was a demon Byron drove to his house grabbed a kitchen knife and stabbed his friend Multiple times Over a game And your voices in your head I guess More likely More likely Rumour has it that one of the stab wounds was so brutal it went through his neck and hit the floorboard fuck oh no Byron then drove back to his own house tried to stab himself and then drove his car into a nearby fence forward slash house there's a difference there I'm gonna need some clarification is it just a one two thing or is it maybe it goes hopefully goes fenced than house it was a house made of fences he drove through a fence but like if there's like a drop off on the other side side, then you just have to say he drove off a drop -off.
[433] You don't have to say that he drove the fence first onto a drop -off.
[434] Right, exactly.
[435] You would be hoping this is a house being fenced in.
[436] Right.
[437] This is like, the fence is not important in the story.
[438] What if it's a house that has a back fence that blocks people from falling off the drop -off?
[439] I think what you say is, you drive into whatever the thing that is that killed you.
[440] Okay.
[441] You know?
[442] So it's the house?
[443] The house.
[444] Okay.
[445] But it's fun to mention things that happen first.
[446] It's fun.
[447] Yeah.
[448] He stopped at a stop.
[449] sign, then he drove into a fence and then he drove into a house.
[450] Are we awake right now or asleep?
[451] I don't know.
[452] The lighting is kind of depressing me. Stephen, can you turn that light on?
[453] Actually, it's really bumming me out.
[454] We're definitely having a sundowning situation.
[455] As soon as I thought I was fine until I started trying to read out loud.
[456] And then I was like, my tongue is too big.
[457] What is wrong with my tongue right now?
[458] Thank you, Stephen.
[459] Okay.
[460] Drive into a fence.
[461] House fence, thank you.
[462] The crime scene I came across.
[463] Oh, okay.
[464] oh that's what she saw another twist to this hometowniness of the story a guy i went to school with is a doctor and happened to be across the road at a party so was first on the scene at the car crash i love first responder like when they're not supposed to be there and they're like i'm a nurse yes out of my way they're ripping off their sleeves and shit did they do that he saw blood on byron and but couldn't find injuries oh that'd be so creepy that would explain the excessive amount of blood on him and in the car it was all Henry's blood um he was then called to testify in court as byron kind of confessed what he had done thinking he was going to die uh byron was diagnosed to schizophrenic unsure if this was before the murder or after uh he had apparently been hearing voices for weeks leading up to the crime and even consulted Mormons why though I don't think he was a Mormon uh that was also in parentheses if he was okay to kill a demon but received no answer, so started listening to the voices in his head more and more.
[465] Yeah, just don't, don't explore the voices.
[466] Well, or the demons.
[467] Both the prosecutor and the defense agreed that he was insane at the time of the murder.
[468] Byron ended up being committed to an institution for the criminally insane for an undefined period of time.
[469] And as far as I know, he is still there.
[470] That's okay, that's all for me, Nicola.
[471] Oh my God.
[472] Nice one.
[473] That's incredible.
[474] awful and crazy so crazy oh man like like hearing voices does not mix well with that fucking knives yes you know what more so than what I was going to say so forget sorry what you're right like magic the gathering type games oh yes but knives more so knives too all right uh this one's called um supernatural hometown oh this is another supernatural one I love it Okay.
[475] Let's see if I can read with my mouth this time.
[476] Okay.
[477] Hi, MFM fam.
[478] Love it.
[479] Um, first I want to say I love you all and thank you for your weekly podcast.
[480] Is she getting a shit right now?
[481] Because we don't, because they're not weekly.
[482] They're biweekly.
[483] I know.
[484] We couldn't be giving more.
[485] I have recently moved.
[486] Sorry.
[487] Listen.
[488] Look.
[489] I recently moved from Auckland to Auckland.
[490] God damn it.
[491] To Auckland.
[492] You got this.
[493] Words.
[494] To take a job on a private yacht that will soon be leaving for Fiji and beyond.
[495] We met her.
[496] Yeah.
[497] I remember this.
[498] Lucky for me. Yeah, we were asking her about rooms and stuff, right?
[499] Pretty fucking cool.
[500] Yes.
[501] She was really pretty.
[502] And then you're like, oh, you can't have a job like that unless you're really pretty.
[503] Yes.
[504] People don't want you on their on their yacht unless you're like an 8 .5.
[505] Lucky for me, we'll still be here for the show on September 6th.
[506] My new job is exciting, but sometimes I get home.
[507] and MFM has kept me close to my family who are also murderinos, which leads me to this supernatural two -generation story.
[508] Hell yes.
[509] My mom's side of the family as a history with supernatural activities, such as seances, Ouija, and mediums.
[510] One summer when my mom was visiting my family in Alabama, her aunt put together a seance with the whole family.
[511] She was 12, and this was her first seance.
[512] Not knowing what to expect, she sat down at the massive oak table and joined hands with her relatives.
[513] Oh my God, I want to be there so fucking badly.
[514] Would she do a seance?
[515] Hell yeah.
[516] Let's do one.
[517] Her aunt led the event and pretty soon two legs at the heavy table were rising and slamming on the ground violently tapping out messages.
[518] One tap meant a, two tap, B, etc. And since my great aunt was a medium, she could also feel who was making contact.
[519] I don't believe in that shit.
[520] Well, yeah, once you get down to like a T or a nest, you're just sitting there for like 22 taps.
[521] Is it a T one for, no, okay, is it?
[522] Is it still going?
[523] It's a U still.
[524] Okay.
[525] No, wait, it started.
[526] Two T's, so TT.
[527] Near the end to the crazy night.
[528] Near the end to a crazy night talking to dead people.
[529] There was a message for my mom from her father's relative.
[530] Quote, be careful of Robbie M. Name and names from across the universe?
[531] From a male relative.
[532] Shit.
[533] Flash forward 10 or so years when my mom is living in Arizona and at a night.
[534] club.
[535] Nope.
[536] I'm living in Arizona and at a nightclub.
[537] My God, my brain, with a couple of her girlfriends.
[538] She started dancing with a very handsome man who she instantly was attracted to.
[539] He was good -looking swab, a little mysterious, and just said all the right things.
[540] It wasn't until she learned his name that her heart dropped.
[541] Roberto M., but you can call me Robbie.
[542] She immediately remembered the message from the sance and started to see how persistent and oddly aggressive of Robby actually was.
[543] He wanted to buy her drinks.
[544] He wouldn't leave her side and wanted her to come home with him.
[545] She kept saying that she couldn't drink because she was the designated driver and had to drive her friends home that night.
[546] Good girl.
[547] He wasn't going to, he wasn't giving up.
[548] So she suggested to meet him at a 24 -7 diner after she took her friends home.
[549] And he agreed.
[550] Later that night, she drove to the diner, her stomach and a knot and couldn't believe what she had gotten herself into.
[551] He never showed.
[552] To this day, she said that she would have gone home with him if he wasn't.
[553] for the message from the seance telling her to stay away and is convinced that he would have done something horrible to her after listening to mfm she so she totally supports fuck politeness now realizing that she never had to show up to the diner herself yeah now this is where the story gets even more creepy oh two months ago i went out to dinner with my mom and had a very and had a very attractive guy as our waiter he was charming talkative really forward not long after he asked for my mother right in front of my mom i might add wait not long after he asked for my number right in front of my mom i might add we didn't catch his name when he came to the table but it ended up being robert being rob mom didn't like him not just because of his name but how quote perfect he seemed i knew of i knew her story of robbie m i love that like no he's too fucking nice Fuck him.
[554] Get away.
[555] Like totally our people.
[556] That's like Jason Priestley.
[557] No, thanks.
[558] No, gross.
[559] Get your fucking cheekones out of here.
[560] I knew her story of Robbie Ann but felt no connection could be made with this one.
[561] After a week of texting, he began to really, I began to really dislike him as he was very forward about religion.
[562] He made a point to tell me he thought that Catholics are of a higher standard of people.
[563] Oh, that's not true.
[564] They kept saying.
[565] and kept saying he wanted to meet up for a walk in the park or go hiking uh -uh a you're going to be a murderer b why do we need to sweat on our first day yes like gross see keep a minimum of eight people around you at all times definitely i began to avoid his text like the plague and his persistence really began to creep me out i decided to do a little digging and found his Facebook and last name he was a rob m i googled him and discovered that he had recently been convicted of second degree strangulation.
[566] Oh my God.
[567] Third degree sexual assault and disorderly conduct.
[568] I don't know the different degrees of strangulation or sexual assault on a legal level, but he was smirking in his mugshot and I was officially never talking to him again.
[569] Maybe not all the Robbie M's in the world are out there to get my mom and I, but we both felt like we dodged a bullet with the two that we have met.
[570] Both my mom and I thank the relative from my grandpa's side who warned us to be careful and to stay sexy and not get murdered.
[571] Again, love you all.
[572] Can't wait for September 6, SSTGM, Heather.
[573] Oh, my God.
[574] That's fun.
[575] That's fun.
[576] I love that.
[577] That was so fun.
[578] That's amazing.
[579] It's so funny, too.
[580] She went to meet him at the diner and then he stood her up for some reason.
[581] Because he was like, this isn't easy enough.
[582] I bet he was like, okay, and then just found someone else that night at the bar.
[583] Yes, someone who would just go directly home with that.
[584] Someone's like, okay.
[585] Yeah, because if it's not easy, if it's not someone who really wants to like try hard for you, I used to not understand that like don't make guys try too hard or they're not going to want they're not going to want you and it's like no those are only the shitty guys that's exactly right it has to be a situation where they have to show they're trying harder than they would just going outside of their house right pursuing you is they're lucky to get the chance to pursue you yeah and let them thank you oh not me Karen you this means the world to you and your new rugby boyfriend with his thighs Guys of gold.
[586] Guys, then the next night, we talked about the rugby players and my discovery of rugby on hold.
[587] And then the next night, after our show, a woman walked up who's a murderito.
[588] And then she goes, my husband used to be a rugby player.
[589] And then this man was standing there who was like a little bear.
[590] His beard went up to his eyes.
[591] He was, yeah.
[592] Beefy as hell.
[593] And I was so starstruck.
[594] He was just like.
[595] He was so rugby.
[596] And he had this body where it went like, it went.
[597] And, like, it was like a upside down triangle.
[598] Like, his, his, like, everything was small and then it just went wider and wider towards, like, these shoulders of a person you've never seen, like, huge shoulders.
[599] He was majestic.
[600] He was, he was a match.
[601] He should have been a, like, he needs to be a little doll that you play with.
[602] He, he, uh, but he was also very shy.
[603] He was very sweet.
[604] He was very embarrassed, I think, because they were there when I was talking about us.
[605] And then it was like, look, but I loved her.
[606] Because she's like, take a look at this guy.
[607] And it's her husband.
[608] She's like, I got one.
[609] She doesn't give it.
[610] Yeah.
[611] Do you have a short one?
[612] Was that it?
[613] No, this one's long.
[614] Oh, wait.
[615] There might be a short one on this front page.
[616] What's 2 .5?
[617] Are we both do, we've both done too.
[618] Oh, this first one is short.
[619] Let's do it.
[620] I want more.
[621] I don't ever want to stop you.
[622] These are the easiest one.
[623] They're easy, and then like, it's fun to end with like a real fucking hard one.
[624] Okay.
[625] Are you ready for this?
[626] Australian hometown toe tickler.
[627] It's got to be it.
[628] Dear Karen, Georgia, Stephen and all your furry friends.
[629] I thought that.
[630] Wait, no, Stephen needs to be included in that second part.
[631] He's the furry friend also.
[632] Him and the rugby player.
[633] I thought that I had nothing to contribute to hometown murders, and then it hit me. Yeah.
[634] I grew up in Bendigo, a regional country town near Melbourne, Australia.
[635] In 1996 when I was 11, I remember my mom and aunts talking and hushed voices about this man in the news who is breaking into homes and sucking on small children.
[636] Oh my god.
[637] In the media, he became known as the toe tickler.
[638] A quick Google gave me this.
[639] That sounds too cute than the fact that he's a fucking pervert.
[640] Yeah.
[641] A toe pervert.
[642] It's the scariest version of a pervert.
[643] Tickler.
[644] It's like, it's like cute.
[645] See, okay, wait.
[646] Kirk Bride was dubbed the toe tickler because of his bizarre fascination with children's body parts.
[647] That's not as cute.
[648] He pleaded guilty to 20, I would say pled.
[649] He pled guilty to 24 charges, including 15 counts of recklessly causing injury on his victims, mostly children.
[650] Kirk Bride would break into the houses of his intended victims and enter their bedrooms while the family was sleeping and he would remove the child's blankets, proceed to kiss, lick, and fondle the child's toes, feet, and legs.
[651] He was only jailed for two and a half years.
[652] And get this, he reoffended.
[653] Surprise.
[654] Anyway, lock your doors, ladies.
[655] Thanks for all your hard work.
[656] stay sexy don't get murdered and see you in melvin really soon jess that is fucked up that's like that's like that's the kind of thing that people wouldn't take seriously because they'd make fun of it but really you should be like very fucking afraid of that person well and also just as a child that's so disturbing yeah you know he looked like such a creep yeah i mean it even is like one thing to suck on adults toes but like to do that to children oh like children are gross too you know what I mean and you're still okay sucking on their toes they're all smelly and like they always went to bed with a sucker stuck to their cheek yeah like they had stepped in gum and like never got it off their foot remember the story from my hometown my hometown that was my friend audrey's story about the petaloma tickler and he tickled butts he yeah he broke into rooms and he was it wasn't i don't think he was a pedophile i think he was just like a pervo gateway pervo but that's right i think he was a foot tickler that then yeah i think he right took liberties oh well well that's how i wanted to end it yeah kind of in that ew yeah let's take a shower because that was disgusting yeah like there wasn't a murder but i'm still really creeped out kind of a thing that's what we want that's that's the fucking money spot so if you have those stories guys if you don't have a murder and you know there's no crime in my town no you got a you got a story You got a story and I'll remind everyone because I brought this up at a party last night of the Swiss cheese pervert which to me is perfection the story of a local pervert who tricked women into looking at a piece of cheese while he masturbated it's the best thing to tell people about.
[657] He tricked women into looking at him masturbate with a switch.
[658] What did he tricked women who were into watching a masturbate into looking at a piece of Swiss chute?
[659] Yeah.
[660] Oh, what's this cheese?
[661] Ah, I bear you.
[662] The logic of it is look at this cheese actually, no, now I'm forcing you to look at me masturbating, right?
[663] You could have used any, it didn't have to be a dairy product.
[664] Right, it could have been a little whistle.
[665] Anything.
[666] But it would be too far from his mouth, but some kind of a...
[667] Well, that's what this podcast is all about, dairy, masturbating.
[668] Holden up dairy.
[669] Yeah, we want to know about your hometown perverts.
[670] Thank you guys for listening.
[671] Oh, yeah, so my favorite murder at J -Mil .com, thanks for listening, everyone.
[672] to send yours in.
[673] Send it in.
[674] And definitely describe it in the subject line.
[675] So Stephen picks it.
[676] And I guess that's it.
[677] That's it.
[678] Stay sexy.
[679] Don't get murdered.
[680] Where is that?
[681] Elvis, you want a cookie?
[682] Yeah.