#106 - Steve Rannazzisi

[0] The Joe Rogan Experience Ladies and gentlemen Live May 10th, Tuesday, 2011 a year and several months before the end of time Steve Renazizi has joined us Thank God I got here now Did it feel like it man?

[1] I wouldn't want to be booked after the end of time Yeah, you don't want that man You see you written the Mississippi shit It's crazy man fucking people that Mother Nature is not To fucking around The Mississippi River is like three miles pass where it's supposed to be so many houses are flooded so many people are fucked it's in Mississippi it's not supposed to be in the city of Mississippi yeah it's not supposed to be in the city of Mississippi yeah it's in Memphis did they rain for a while is that what happened oh yeah yeah they had rain and you know there's also they were blowing down the Army Corps of Engineers was blowing down levees on purpose yeah to flood farmlands weeks ago because they were worried about this happening yeah it's fucking serious shit essentially they were picking and choosing which places they were like all right you guys you guys will be all right We'll help you out.

[2] We're going to blow down the levees over here, so the water would rush out so it wasn't going towards heavy populated residential areas.

[3] Wow, it's crests in Memphis now.

[4] Wow, residents are being evacuated in the city of Memphis.

[5] Yeah, it's in the city.

[6] God.

[7] That's insane.

[8] The river crested at 48 feet, falling short of its all -time record, but still soaking low -lying areas with enough water to require a massive cleanup.

[9] They're fucked.

[10] Yep.

[11] The crazy thing about something like that, too, is like, nothing you can do with all that water coming in what are you going to do you going to build a new dam all and where's the water going to go when you dam it up where's it going to go you got a lake ready did you build that to you can't do shit no you just have to let it dry hope it doesn't rain again our little baby existence is so fragile and we set up these camps next to these natural things like rivers and oceans we just assume that well it's been this way for a year it's going to be this way next year and it's a good spot to build a house i don't know i'm not that smart but do you think like when we were in the wilderness right and floods happened they probably just didn't go as close next time right they probably were like all right this is where the water came last time let's move back a little bit well the bottom line is why they're building still the the whole idea of living in one place is only a few thousand years old just a few thousand years ago we were nomadic yeah what we would do is move where the animals went would move where the animals went and then some asshole figured out seeds and that's what fucked everything once they could just get food right where they wanted to be.

[12] I say it fucked everything up, but it made everything awesome, really.

[13] Who the fuck wants to follow around undulate herds of animals through the fucking Savannah?

[14] You know, that would suck.

[15] Joe, I can't do your podcast because my family's leaving after a pack of buffaloes later on.

[16] I'm going hunting with Ricky Schroeder, and that's one of the options to shoot a buffalo.

[17] I'm trying to decide whether or not I want to kill a buffalo.

[18] I'm killing a bore for sure.

[19] A gun?

[20] Rifle.

[21] Yeah.

[22] I eat meat, you know, and I understand if you're an animal lover, but But look, it's way more cruel to see an animal go through this whole system of factory farming and getting hung by their ankles and get their neck cut and they kick and spasm.

[23] Some of the shit that you see in these videos, man, these animals have lived shit lives forever.

[24] I don't know how much of those videos is just one isolated, terrible incident in one terrible place where they don't follow the rules.

[25] Or if it's widespread, you know, it's real difficult because neither side wants to be totally honest about how fucked up the whole raising animals thing is.

[26] But it's bad.

[27] Either way, it's bad.

[28] And I'm trying to do my best to not eat anything that's...

[29] I'm trying to stop eating burgers.

[30] I'm trying to stop eating anything that I think is possibly factory farmed.

[31] You can get plenty of organic meat at, like, whole foods and shit like that.

[32] You know, where you know they're grass -fed, they're just wandering around, and it's a better experience for the animal.

[33] You know, I just think that the best way to do it is definitely hunting.

[34] You know, and I've never done it.

[35] And everybody who does it says it's this crazy.

[36] fucking primal thrill my brother -in -law kills a deer like right around christmas he goes with his buddies every year and then he you know kills it and cuts it up and he keeps meat it's a big meat locker and he eats venison all winter long he's like every year when i'm the spring comes i'm done with a deer yeah i'll get one in the fall yeah if you shoot one venison you know one one deer rather that venison can last you for fucking 10 months pack it up freeze it keep in the freezer you're good to go you know how long a buffalo will last you if i shoot this buffalo i would have to give some of it away because i think some of it you can't really even freeze long enough yeah because you can't freeze, like, meat for more than six months, I don't think.

[37] No. Right?

[38] Isn't there a certain amount of time?

[39] Yeah.

[40] There's a certain amount of time.

[41] I don't know.

[42] I eat chicken.

[43] I'm like, how old is this?

[44] Who cares?

[45] It's frozen.

[46] It's a big piece of ice.

[47] Those random rouse packages you see in the back of your freezer.

[48] You're like, how old is this?

[49] In your freezer?

[50] In my freezer.

[51] In my freezer.

[52] You know, like, yeah, you know, I'm talking about those bags of chicken for $12.

[53] I used to do that.

[54] I don't need more, but I know exactly.

[55] I've done it.

[56] Right.

[57] Where you're like, I don't know.

[58] The expiration date's scratched off.

[59] You're like, ah, fuck it.

[60] You know, it's supposed to be really bad when you freeze something and then you thaw it out and then you refreeze it.

[61] Yeah, if you've thawed out, you've got to eat it.

[62] Why is that?

[63] Because I think, I don't know.

[64] Someone told me that, yes.

[65] We should find that out.

[66] You shouldn't give food hope.

[67] Maybe it's like the nutrients come out once.

[68] I'm thinking halfway through that.

[69] I was like, fuck, that's not, that doesn't sound good.

[70] The nutrients can come out once.

[71] I didn't know that.

[72] The straight dope.

[73] Why is refreeing?

[74] freezing food bad and if you ever have a question you can go to the goddamn internet if it'll load up i didn't know certain things went bad like like campbell soup or or uh spaghetti sauce don't they tell you to keep that stuff in like panic rooms like in case yeah that's what i'm saying like like i was looking at i think it was soup the other day or maybe it was pasta sauce you know in a glass container that's been in the in the cupboard but it said uh you know there was actually an expiration date on it i'm like wait a second i didn't think shit like canned campbell soup God damn it did I really Maybe for legal reasons Maybe for legal reasons They have to in case you get sick or something like that Yeah That'd be I don't know See he's calling It'd be great I doesn't say Um So I've never killed I've never shot a gun Never No no that I recommend It's kind of scary I'm scared Here's how why I'm scared about that I'm scared I'm gonna get addicted to it I'm gonna enjoy it a lot And then I'm gonna buy a gun Yeah but why are you scared about that Well I don't know It's not me It's that I just feel like If you have a gun in your house Something will happen If I don't have a gun in my house I'm probably never Get shot with a gun in my house What are you talking about?

[75] Don't that's a ridiculous way of thinking Get a fucking gun Better to have one And not needed Than they need it and not have it I was saying I've never shot a gun on my life It's easy pull the trigger Boom thing goes off But then I'm afraid I'm afraid that I'm gonna get addicted To doing it You're not retarded I know dude you would be out there Sucking Dicks for Crack Money If you had that kind of a brain Yeah no no I'm not Just get a fucking gun I was scared to have one When I used to do a lot And drink a lot Because I thought like I would be emotional And I'd be tripping I'll pull my gun out Not thinking And then I'll do something stupid But now I don't really I still do that It's a control issue If you're worried about Your own ability to control yourself And yeah There's a lot of hot -headed motherfuckers That shouldn't have a gun Right There's a lot of people Have put the trigger And then realize what they've done Afterwards and their whole life is ruined That's what I'm saying You're not that guy I'm not that guy You're not that guy You would have already had a bunch I'm not that guy you're not that guy you've already have a bunch of self -control issues this is how I put I think in my brain I say if someone broke into my house with my family there right whether or not I have a gun I'm going to want to kill them I'm going to try to if I don't have a gun I'm going to try if they're attacking my family I'm going to try to find something to kill them having a gun will probably make that a lot easier I'm going to probably try anyway so having a gun shotgun yeah get a shotgun that's the move or just start collecting Lord of the ring swords that's not good enough man you think you can kill a guy with a sword I have a samurai sword that's up my house right now and I've been playing You've been practicing?

[76] You're ready?

[77] I'm ready to do some fucking Whatever Quentin Tarantino type killing That's a fucked up way to kill somebody Somebody broke into a guy's house And he got killed him with a samurai sword It was like a year or two ago Yeah he had a samurai sword That could go wrong Fuck yeah, it could get By the way The guy could take it from you Yeah and you could die With your own samurai sword Oh that would be the worst One of the worst Baseball bat's got to be a bad one too.

[78] This guy, this guy from this website called a Posa Pock.

[79] He sent me a knife in the past.

[80] Well, now he just sent me this huge, he sent you one, too.

[81] One of those huge blades.

[82] Remember that, that crazy knife?

[83] Yeah.

[84] And so I'm like, what do I do with all these knives this guy keeps on site?

[85] So I'm like hiding them around the house.

[86] So now I have one under my bed, like if I have a bad hooker or something like that.

[87] If you have a bad hooker, you're going to stab her with a Gurka knife.

[88] I used to keep a putter, an old putter next to my bed.

[89] And then, like, one day it just broke apart.

[90] I was like, thank God.

[91] And now my buddy's a cop.

[92] gave me one of those, you know, those ones?

[93] They go, and the whole thing pops out.

[94] Baton.

[95] Baton.

[96] What are those, is that what it's called?

[97] The baton.

[98] Retractable baton.

[99] And the whole thing just comes out, right?

[100] And it's metal.

[101] And it's locked out, and it's metal.

[102] You could fuck somebody up with that.

[103] Badly.

[104] Do you remember those things that used to have when we were kids?

[105] They were, like, leather, and inside it was like lead pellets.

[106] What's it called a blackjack?

[107] Mm -hmm.

[108] Do you remember those?

[109] My dad used to tell me about those things.

[110] Yeah, man. Whatever happened of black jacks?

[111] They used to have those.

[112] You used to get whacked with those all the time.

[113] What's it look like?

[114] It looks like sort of like a duck's beak.

[115] Okay.

[116] But it's made out of leather, and inside of it is like lead pellets.

[117] And it's got a handle on it.

[118] And, you know, it's like lead inside this leather.

[119] And you just crack somebody with this thing.

[120] So it's kind of like a more high -tech version of like a sock with some marbles.

[121] Exactly.

[122] Exactly.

[123] It's lead inside leather.

[124] High -tech, yeah.

[125] More brass knuckles.

[126] Yeah.

[127] That's a terrible way to fuck up your face.

[128] just horrible brass knuckles I remember my buddy that wasn't in them bought one and I was like what are you doing man it's like there's levels of shit that people try to do it's like if you're using a weapon brass knuckles are a weapon you're basically what are you trying to do you're trying to almost kill him or are you trying to kill them what are you trying to do yeah because this is like some weird middle ground you know like you can kill someone with brass knuckles but it's not totally your intent right if you put brass knuckles on are you trying to beat a guy to death or you're just trying to really kick his ass easy right you know yeah yeah it's weird right yeah i mean there's a kid in my college that got into a fight and then hit a dude with a crowbar oh god and he killed him he killed the guy the guy died it's like you came to go with a crowbar you're trying you don't that you don't know what you're doing you're not you're not trying to kill him but it's like are you just trying to end it quickly or that's a horrible result you have to know you're imagine taking somebody's life no you took away not when you're not planning on it i know a dude who's working as a bouncer and one of of the guys he was working with punched a guy and the guy fell down and hit his head on a curb and that was it.

[129] Yeah.

[130] Dead.

[131] Yeah.

[132] That sucks.

[133] One punch.

[134] That sucks.

[135] Just fell fucked up and, you know, when people fall down outside too, people don't realize that.

[136] When you fall, it's like getting hit by the world.

[137] You know, imagine if somebody hit you from five feet away with the earth, you know, going 30 miles an hour or whatever the fuck it is when you fall.

[138] That's what it's like.

[139] You know, that's not good.

[140] When you get knocked out, that's bad.

[141] When you get knocked out and you fall down and smash your head off the concrete, that's way worse.

[142] Yeah.

[143] I've seen dudes many times go into seizures where they lock up and start snoring and making weird noises.

[144] That is so bad for you.

[145] Brass knuckles.

[146] Yeah, brass knuckles.

[147] What is it with those stores that would sell that shit and then weed pipes?

[148] Bongs.

[149] Make up your fucking mind, man. What do you want to do?

[150] Which side of the store you are?

[151] They would have butterfly knives.

[152] Remember those butterfly knives?

[153] What was the deal with those stupid things?

[154] What a stupid knife?

[155] If you have to do a jazz move before you take your knife out, you're just like, f -t -tat, and then you're like your fucking knife out, just pull out the knife.

[156] A jazz move.

[157] I remember as a kid having one of those knife blades that was a comb, and you were allowed to bring it to school.

[158] Like, they didn't have a problem back in all that.

[159] You were allowed to bring that to school.

[160] I had one of those.

[161] Those were awesome.

[162] But it was just a comb.

[163] Yeah.

[164] Yeah, you thought you were slick as shit when you pulled that bitch out.

[165] It's the same guy that thought of it.

[166] the cigarette candy cigarettes you're like what are you doing man what a weird fucking loophole that is you can have candy that's a pretend fucking poison they still sell that they still sell those could you imagine if they had candy for kids that said like had a skull and crossbones on it x xxx poison death and that was candy what if you saw like the candy man the candy man the guy were and the kids were cutting up lines and snorting lines of yes i don't know what are you guys doing right it's pop rocks dude it's the new shit it's the new way to do pez what You smash your pez up and you stuff it up your nose.

[167] Snip them.

[168] Snip them licks.

[169] Right, exactly.

[170] Why is it okay to have candy fucking cigarettes?

[171] Ma, why can't I get one vial of, you know, cold juice?

[172] That's that everyone's shooting.

[173] You're shooting juice into your vein now?

[174] Everyone does it now, Mom.

[175] It's no big deal.

[176] It's awesome.

[177] It tastes really good.

[178] It stimulates a part of your brain that works on taste and it does it through your veins.

[179] Yeah.

[180] What the fuck, man. Candy cigarettes.

[181] What's funny is those candy cigarettes is that they actually see.

[182] sell them still but they can't call them cigarettes anymore so they call them like candy sticks or something like that but so they're a candy stick but when the end's red like it's lit yeah the ones you used to they used to put like sugar at the end you can blow it and it would blow out smoke oh i never had the deluxe ones oh yeah brian you did the uh the fake cigarettes for a while the um the electronic cigarettes yeah well it was when they when they first were starting to come over like maybe a year and a half, two years ago when they first started to come over here from overseas.

[183] And so I had this idea, like I was doing a lot of reviews, like tech reviews and stuff.

[184] So I thought, hey, I want to quit smoking.

[185] I want to review this.

[186] So I contacted all these companies.

[187] And I was like, hey, you know, I want to review these things and make a video out.

[188] So all these companies sent me, like samples and products of their things.

[189] So for a couple weeks straight, I was smoking only electronic cigarettes.

[190] And they had a cigar version, too, that you love the cigar one.

[191] But then I noticed that I was spitting up blood.

[192] And it's got a chemical in it, right?

[193] It's got a chemical used in a smoke machines, like a dance clubs and stuff like that, like a fog machine.

[194] I forget the name of the chemical chemical, but what one of the negative parts about that chemical is, it dries out, it will dry you out.

[195] It will dry your skin out.

[196] Or if you put it in your throat, it will dry your fucking throat out.

[197] So I was getting like these lesions on my throat from my throat being so fucking dry that I started spitting out blood.

[198] So I pretty much was like, fuck doing a review.

[199] And I, I, I told all these people that sent me the product, like, look, I'm not going to do this review for you because I don't want, I'm just going to bash what you're selling because bloody throat is a lot different than fucking inhaling smoke.

[200] When you asked the company, was it, was it, were they all electronic cigarette companies or were they other, like, I know I have one when I was trying, they tried to put these these magnets behind your earlobe.

[201] What?

[202] Yeah.

[203] They gave me like these magnets that you put behind your earlobe.

[204] I've seen that.

[205] What is that?

[206] And then it was supposed to stop, I don't know what it was supposed.

[207] It was supposed to stop your cravings for smoking cigarettes.

[208] And it wasn't actually make you quick.

[209] I'd never try it.

[210] I think that sounds like this bullshit.

[211] I'm sorry, this is kind of funny.

[212] This FDA release on these electronic cigarettes is actually kind of funny.

[213] The U .S. Food and Drug Administration today announced that a laboratory analysis of electronic cigarettes samples has found that they contain carcinogens and toxic chemicals such as diethylene, glycol, and ingredient used in antifreeze.

[214] It's amazing that they decided to release this press release.

[215] What they're basically saying is the fake poison is poison.

[216] Yep.

[217] What about the real shit, you fuckheads?

[218] Why are you releasing this on these electronic cigarettes and not clamoring for the removal of cigarettes from fucking stores?

[219] and grocery stores.

[220] I go to the grocery store and there's a goddamn cigarette carton area where you can buy poison.

[221] Yeah.

[222] You can buy addictive drugs and don't do anything for it or they do something for you.

[223] They stimulate your...

[224] Like, Stephen King said that when he quit cigarettes, his writing actually suffered a little.

[225] Really?

[226] Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[227] He had a harder time firing his synapses up.

[228] It's probably because 20 % of his head is thinking, I want a cigarette, I want to just go outside and have a cigarette.

[229] You know what, I got...

[230] He says it's almost...

[231] His brain doesn't work as fast.

[232] I mean, I know it's a stimulant and some sort of a...

[233] Yeah.

[234] something, you know.

[235] I'm almost a year done.

[236] I quit by hypnosis.

[237] Really?

[238] Yeah.

[239] I got hypnotized three times.

[240] On the second one is the one you quit.

[241] I never had a cigarette.

[242] I smoked on the way in.

[243] Whoa.

[244] You smoked on the way in.

[245] They did the hypnosis.

[246] The hypnosis thing to me seems to only work if you really truly want it to work.

[247] Exactly.

[248] You prepare for it.

[249] You go in there, like, sort of like, under the agreement.

[250] that you're going to give into this experience and it's going to change you.

[251] And if you believe that, it's almost like a placebo effect for the mind.

[252] Here's how it worked for me. Or if you can get hypnotized, I can't.

[253] I had said that, well, no, no, I was never hypnotized.

[254] Here's how I put it.

[255] If the doctor touched my dick, I would have known about it.

[256] But I was in another area.

[257] Like, I wouldn't have been like, I don't know, now I, you know, someone says chicken and I start blowing everyone in the room.

[258] You know, I never got to that point.

[259] I don't know if I could ever be that guy.

[260] But I was in a place, like, he would get me to a place where I was thinking about other shit and he I heard him like just being like no you're not a smoker anymore this is not part of your life and these are things that you don't do anymore you don't need cigarettes it's not who you and he just kept repeating this shit but I was like oh I'm on a beach and then look at the fucking tits on that and then I'm like all like just going off in a different place and he just kept talking to me and then it would be over so you were you were listening to him and you were fantasizing about other things I was thinking about other things like he would be like think about whatever you want to think about and then you you know you start doing like I don't want to think about anything but that yesterday when Ari told me he didn't want to think about that Ari and then you're all over the place you can't not you can't not just think about nothing so while he while I'm off thinking about this he's literally like whispering but at a soft way like just this these things every once in a while I'd go back over here and be like what is what the fuck are you saying and I don't smoke yeah I don't smoke yeah I don't smoke oh but I'm back over here and he did that for like five or six minutes wow to me that was the entire hypnosis part of it but the beginning of it like he'd start off every session with like i knew i wanted to quit i i want i have to want to quit but i would go in there and those conversations like you know like oh you should quit smoking yeah no i know i know well you you know it's cancer and everything yeah no i get it it's that conversation that lasts for three minutes that now is he's drawing it out for 40 minutes he's like no no it's not if you're going to die it's when you're going to die and your son's going to come visit you in the hospital and he's going to go into the room and he's going to see all the tubes going inside of you how do you think that's going to make him feel.

[261] Do you think he's going to, I mean, just painting like worst fucking case scenario.

[262] And then he does the hypnosis thing.

[263] And at the end, it was, gave me like a little mantra to say whenever I had it craving.

[264] And I haven't had a cigarette since the moment I won't have to be thought about it today.

[265] Today, zero.

[266] Zero.

[267] Wow.

[268] In the first day, maybe you should do it.

[269] You know, your problem is, Brian, you're a super, super, super skeptical.

[270] You're so skeptical you would never be willing to give in to anything like that.

[271] My sister had it done.

[272] And she audio recorded it.

[273] and I wish I still had the CD because I used to listen to it in my car and laugh my ass off and it was only one time for her that she went and it worked for two months but it was just like this chick sang stuff like ew cigarettes are gonna gross they make you look fat oh you don't want cigarettes and my sister was like I don't remember any of this.

[274] Maybe this is like some lady devised her own technique yeah well they all are their own techniques I mean what do you really have to say we could put a phone number right now and say we're hypnosis and that we cure cigarette people we probably have three people calls tomorrow I mean what credit credentials do you need to I didn't ask for a fucking diploma I was in this guy's like living room like you know like a garage area there was nothing nice around but I just got like through a referral from another person but like what do you need to you need to be a doctor to do hypnosis do you it's sort of a sketchy sort of a job all psychiatrises this because most of them don't really exist I mean there's some that are probably psychiatry or I mean a hypnotic people.

[275] Hypnotic, hypnotist, not psychiatrists.

[276] Yeah, hypnotists, it's like psychics.

[277] Like, is that real?

[278] You know what I don't know?

[279] Like, when you drive down the street and you see these fucking houses that they have psychics in their house, you know, like psychic readings.

[280] There's a lot down the street.

[281] Like, as I'm driving to go get something to eat, I'll see these houses and I think about stopping in.

[282] I did once when I was in New York.

[283] Like a neon sign.

[284] It's a psychic.

[285] You can open it like one in the morning.

[286] Yeah, yeah.

[287] I went in and it was just a house, you know?

[288] It was just a a small house and it was in Manhattan.

[289] I forget where it was.

[290] Somewhere I was doing an audition and had like an hour and a half to kill.

[291] So let me go get a fucking psychic reading.

[292] This bitch couldn't have been more wrong about things in my life.

[293] Like more wrong.

[294] And how are you?

[295] Were you like, nope?

[296] I said, yeah, no. You're very close with your father.

[297] I haven't seen him since 07.

[298] It was like, it was that kind of shit.

[299] It was just the worst.

[300] She was terrible.

[301] I'm like, you're just guessing.

[302] And then I get angry.

[303] I'll go, this is just a guy.

[304] I gave you $20 to fake me out and guess.

[305] I go, okay, thank you.

[306] I learned.

[307] I learned my lesson.

[308] Those psychics are just like lazy people that bought a sign.

[309] They're like, I don't want to leave the house anymore.

[310] I'm just going to be a psychic.

[311] Have they ever answered why if they were psychic?

[312] They wouldn't have an office building, I don't know, like, GE.

[313] Like, wouldn't they be very wealthy?

[314] Like, have they ever answered that question.

[315] People have said that you can't use it for personal gain.

[316] I've heard that.

[317] What kind of silly?

[318] My power cannot be used for personal gain.

[319] Jesus made that way.

[320] What kind of silly stupid thing is that?

[321] Like you don't think there's ever going to be one rogue.

[322] psychic who's gonna be like I'm not following this shit I'm gonna go fucking make a ton of money like Biff and Back to the Future is like I got this book that tells me what the fucking who's gonna win every sports game and I bet on it and he had like Biff Enterprises and Back to the Future too There's there's been a bunch of different people that have offered huge rewards for anyone to prove psychic ability you know I think Penn and Teller had something going on with that for a while but they're very vocal about psychics being bullshit you know hence the name of their show and there's been a bunch of other people and no one's ever been really able to prove that there's a psychic ability the only psychic ability that has been proven and this is a very odd one and we all kind of knew about this one you can tell when people are looking at you people can tell they can sense when people are looking at you you know you can't figure out what the fucking lottery is you're not going to know who's going to win the World Series in 2013 but you can tell when people are looking at you it's a weird thing it's statistically proven that they've done controlled studies where you know people were looking in another direction they had to say when they thought someone was looking at them and it was it was measurable it was a measurable even from like behind or like your blind spots and i would have to say that in those any sort of a test situation that would be the worst time to be using some of that the if you're not using some of trying to uh trying to do that because i would think you'd be so aware that you're in a test you'd be so aware okay i'm being judged your 50 senses would be on high alert Well, not only that, they would be all fucked up.

[323] They'd be all fucked up by this artificial situation where you're monitoring your instincts.

[324] But I have this many times in my life where I was like, what's the fuck is going on?

[325] I turn and look and someone's giving me the mad dog.

[326] I'm like, whoa.

[327] I'm going to do my own thing now.

[328] I'm going to be like waiting at a Best Buy, just staring at someone just to see that person.

[329] Do your own test?

[330] 12 .15, they did not turn around.

[331] I think it's not 100%.

[332] I think it's probably not even 50%.

[333] But I think there's something there that every now and then pops in when someone can just reach out with their energy and touch you.

[334] And I think it's also probably has to do with the kind of intent that they have in their mind while they're staring at you.

[335] I think if someone's staring at you and like, you know, and they're like, oh, this guy seems like he's got a shit together.

[336] I like the way he dresses, you know, he's fucking got a cool t -shirt on.

[337] Like maybe then you're going to be like, you know, let him look at me. Yeah.

[338] But if you're like, you know, this guy, I think I could fuck him.

[339] I'm pretty sure I could fucking just fold him down, fucking.

[340] Whoa, whoa.

[341] And he's hit in with a rock and keep him alive long out to fuck him.

[342] You know what I mean?

[343] Sorry.

[344] Whoa.

[345] Yeah.

[346] Then maybe, you know, it would come up.

[347] You'd be like, don't be greedy with that talk.

[348] Just to me, you don't have to just give me the eyes when you do that talk.

[349] Steve wants it.

[350] It's very comfortable for me to look to my left for some reason.

[351] Whenever I have violent thoughts, that's perfect.

[352] I always try to attack from the left side.

[353] That's good.

[354] I think that there's something to the human mind that is not static.

[355] What we have right now, our abilities right now, are probably evolving.

[356] And our ability to recognize our environment and to tune in to other people, I think that's probably evolving.

[357] You know, they say that just a few thousand years ago, people could not read silently.

[358] This was a trick that someone had learned how to do.

[359] It was one of the saints, and one of the ways that this guy proved his sainthood was that he could recite things that he had just read.

[360] He could close the book, and he would look at the book and not say anything aloud, so they didn't know he was reading.

[361] He would read things and then close the book and then recite what he just read.

[362] And they thought that this guy was.

[363] he was a deity.

[364] They thought that he was a priest or they thought that he was a saint because he had this ability that no one else could do.

[365] He could read silently.

[366] Like, it makes sense when you think about it.

[367] Because you remember when you were a little kid you couldn't read silently.

[368] You would read Ustream.

[369] dot TV.

[370] You'd have to spell it out.

[371] You'd have to say it.

[372] You'd have to make the noise and you'd have to recognize the noise after you make it.

[373] Well, then people learned how to make the noise in their head.

[374] You know, they didn't always know how to do that.

[375] And this is, it's, it's probably an evolution of language, you know, an evolution of the way we interface with language, but it's, it's also like, it may be something in our minds.

[376] It may be something that we didn't have the ability to process before, and we do now, because written type and reading is very commonplace, that we have developed this ability to do this.

[377] It's very possible that the minds that we are working with are, you know, much mass media and there was no phones, there was no nothing.

[378] There's been always been some weird speculation that people were able to tune into Mother Gaia, that some people were able to tune into the forest and able to tune into information that comes from all the animals and nature around you.

[379] Like there was a show, Charles Carral on the road, I know we've talked about this before, but there was a guy who used to live in Alaska, and he said that he was a prospector.

[380] He would live out there by himself for a month at a time and after a while he could talk to the animals with his brain what really then when he would come back into town eventually it would go away but he said there wasn't words but there was a way of communicating with animals that you would have because you was no TV there was no radio you got tuned into different things it sounds totally like horseshit but Dr. Doolittle but if you talk to like the Indians or the natives in Peru when they they brew this ayahuasca stuff the psychedelic beverage yeah um robin quivers yeah yeah yeah well the thing about ayahuasca is they've been doing it for 10 ,000 years way before written history and then you ask them how they learned how to do this I mean the speculation is 10 ,000 years ago they were the real evidence is probably only like a couple thousand but when you they asked these people how they figured out how to do this they say that the forest told them that the plants told them how to do this told them how to make this.

[381] There's over 100 ,000 different plants in the Amazon.

[382] They figured out how to take the leaves of one and the root and the vines of another and combine them because one of them contains the chemical DMT and the other one contains what's called an MAO inhibitor, something called harmin, because you can't eat this psychedelic stuff.

[383] You can't eat DMT because it exists in so many different things that if you eat it, your body has the ability to break it down inside your stomach with monoamine oxidase.

[384] So there's stuff called harmin, this other plant that produces.

[385] is this natural M -A -O inhibitor, they have to mix this stuff in and they have to boil it and they have to break it down over hours and hours.

[386] How the fuck did these people living on dirt floors and huts with no books?

[387] How the fuck did they ever figure out how to take these plants and put them together?

[388] Well, they say that the forest told them how to do it.

[389] It sounds ridiculous.

[390] Or there's a thousand dead people around.

[391] Just like, nope, not that one.

[392] Don't put those two together.

[393] Can you guys see Frank?

[394] He's fucked, bro.

[395] Yeah, the real question is when did this information about the force telling them to do this happen.

[396] Did it happen after they took the ayahuasca?

[397] Because that would make a lot of sense.

[398] And why do they just stop with ayahuasca?

[399] Why wouldn't they just keep...

[400] Give us more...

[401] Give us other good shit, you know?

[402] Dude, you don't need anything else once you do the ayahuasca.

[403] You really don't.

[404] You know, Robin Quivers has talked about it.

[405] And, you know, I've talked about it, you know, and I've tuned to Stanhope into it.

[406] There's a bunch of people that I know that have had DMT in their life.

[407] And once you've done it, everything else seems completely serious.

[408] Everything.

[409] The economy seems silly.

[410] Your life seems silly.

[411] Driving and traffic seems silly.

[412] Media seems silly.

[413] Everything seems silly and juvenile and temporary.

[414] How long?

[415] What is, I mean, it's not like a thing where you can go out.

[416] You need like a week.

[417] Well, you need some time to digest it.

[418] You don't need, you don't need time to do the drug.

[419] If you smoke DMT, it only takes about 15 minutes.

[420] If you take ayahuasca, the orally active version, it's a less potent version of the experience.

[421] But, you don't need, you know, it's over a few hours as opposed to over 15 minutes but what it is is the most trippy experience the most bizarre outside of this world the most separate experience you could ever possibly have and once you've had that you know and you start talking about why doesn't he do other things why doesn't he figure out you know how to make a fucking jet car you know why don't the plants teach him how to do that you just want to go back to that world those fucking people that live in the Amazon man they like doing it all the time they just do it they just they just they just to just tune in to the spirit world and astral travel on fucking illuminant snakes that fly through the out does it make pot different like can you go back like you'd be like I wish or is it something like you know what I'm saying like does it make like the experience of of smoking pot like any different now at all I think that I think that or less less important or less fun well I think that you first of all one time I had a flashback after I took it from smoking pot I've never been able to do it again really one time I did DMT and then a week later I was smoking weed and I had a flashback a real flashback where I got to the door there's a door like when you when you have the DMT experience it's a very fucked up experience and for those of you that are anti -drug and for those of you listening to this that are like you know what kind of fucking losers talking about doing drugs and what the fuck is this stupid shit and this kid's listening I think human beings oh and obligation to tell the truth about their experiences and there there is something to this that's very life -changing it changed me for sure it still is changing me it's uh my my dmt experiences for sure have made me a better person a nicer person more sensitive more more more aware of the universe i'm not i'm not perfect by any stretch of the imagination i'm under a lot of pressure sometimes i snap at people i try to keep it all together as much as humanly possible but for sure i'm absolutely different at my core because of having the dmt experience all drugs aren't good for you but some drugs are you know and they're not too good for everybody you we should have fucking shamans we should have places where you could go where you could go to some professional place where this guy is sanctioned by the community and this is the guy that knows how to do mushrooms and you go to this guy's house and he's got brilliant mushrooms and they're all perfect and he grows them themselves there's nothing sketchy and how many mushroom chips you've been on a thousand okay all right a thousand shit yeah you know what you're doing how many grams we're going to do today well this is what we're going to do you're going to be in this silent darkness.

[422] You're going to do five grams.

[423] I'm going to be outside the door.

[424] I'm going to be totally sober.

[425] I have a phone.

[426] I have a car.

[427] I can take the hospital if you need to.

[428] But the freak out's really only in your mind and you're going to be fine physically.

[429] Just don't worry about it.

[430] I've been there a thousand times.

[431] Nobody dies from a shit.

[432] And then you could go and do it.

[433] Instead of being over your friend's house and you fucking escape into the woods and then you get too fucked up in the woods, you don't know how to get back to your house.

[434] That sounds so much better, the second one, instead of having some creepy dude sitting outside of a bedroom door with a phone to call the police on you.

[435] But it's funny, but it's But if it was legally, he wouldn't be called the police.

[436] But I do that now with, like, I called Ari today.

[437] I was like, can you get me some breath strips from going to Vegas?

[438] And he's like, all right, this is the one you're getting.

[439] You take a third if you want this.

[440] You take two thirds if you want that.

[441] Hour to kick in, five hours.

[442] And a half hour later, you'd be hungry.

[443] Ari is someone you can trust with that.

[444] You cannot trust Joey Diaz.

[445] I know, I'm telling you.

[446] Take two.

[447] Yeah.

[448] Take two and then call me in an hour and 20 minutes.

[449] Ari's the guy that I ask about that and about mortgage rates.

[450] He's like, don't take it yet.

[451] And I swear to gone to the two.

[452] things I trust him the most about.

[453] That's hilarious.

[454] To be on time, no, to pick me up at the airport.

[455] No, to not fuck my wife, probably not.

[456] He got a chance he would do it just for the story.

[457] So now to use Google.

[458] But one time, one time me and Ari, we came, I was driving him home from the comedy store.

[459] And we got, I had to pick something in my house.

[460] And he goes, kind of just going to your, to your room.

[461] I was like, for the goof, okay.

[462] And he puts on me, he gets into bed.

[463] And my wife's leaving there.

[464] He gets in the bed.

[465] He just curls up next to her.

[466] No, he didn't.

[467] I'm standing right there.

[468] She goes, what the, what the fuck?

[469] She goes, and she smelled.

[470] She goes, Ari, and Ari goes, what?

[471] I thought this was going to be okay, and I just started laughing.

[472] But she smelt them first.

[473] That's the best part.

[474] She's smelled.

[475] She's like, God, do you have a specific odor?

[476] Do you smell like cinnamon?

[477] Ari just, you know, there's always an antique bookstore smell.

[478] Yeah, he does.

[479] It's like old socks.

[480] Yeah.

[481] Like that book that you find in the corner when you're clean your house.

[482] Ari's one of those dudes that might not shower for a week.

[483] Yeah, he wore, we play basketball on Tuesdays.

[484] He's like, just to warn, we played it against each other.

[485] He was like, just to warn you, I haven't showered from Sunday.

[486] So, are you serious?

[487] So when you take me down low, just remember that the smell.

[488] That smells real.

[489] And it's on purpose.

[490] That's how I get your brain.

[491] Here's how he got fucking staff.

[492] This guy, you know, he had this huge fucking thing on his knee from the, it was from jiu -jitsu, but it was from not showering, man. He got to shower right after.

[493] And not even dealing with it.

[494] Like, he didn't know there's something wrong.

[495] He said he got bit by a spider.

[496] If it wasn't for me noticing that he was limping, he might be dead.

[497] Like, I'm not kidding.

[498] The staff infections can fucking kill you.

[499] They really should have some shit up at every jiu -jitsu gym, showing you different, like, swollen things.

[500] Like, see this?

[501] That, that's the staff infection.

[502] See this?

[503] This is in Patigo.

[504] This is herpes.

[505] This is, you can get this shit from the mat.

[506] You've got to be careful.

[507] This is what you're going to do.

[508] Right after you get off the mat, you got to wash yourself with some probiotic, like, defense soap, like eucalyptus oil, tea tree oil, shit like that.

[509] Stuff that kills.

[510] But do it right after you get off the fucking mats.

[511] You don't go home and sit around and eat fucking pizza.

[512] you know like Ari yeah well then not shower for two more days there's the guy who's just too lazy and then there's the guy it's like oh a tough guy I can go do whatever I want to do after or I'll go you know whatever it's like just be clean Ari had a little volcano on his knee man it freaked me out because we were we were playing pool and he was limping and I go what's going on and told me about the spider bite I go let me say it he pulls his pants up and he's got a little red volcano on his knee yeah it's hot right yeah I go dude that's a fucking staff infection you need to go to a hospital right now.

[513] I unscrewed my cue.

[514] I go, I'm deadly serious.

[515] I go, I'm deadly serious.

[516] I go, you need to go to a hospital this moment.

[517] Don't wait an hour.

[518] You need to go right now, and you could die.

[519] I had two staff infections in my like.

[520] What the fuck?

[521] And they had to put like a, they had stuff like gauze in there and leave it there for a week and then pull it out.

[522] Yeah.

[523] It was horrible.

[524] How'd you get it?

[525] Basketball.

[526] It's all about sports.

[527] That's why I've never had a staff.

[528] Well, it's really washing yourself afterwards.

[529] It's also taking probiotics.

[530] You've got to take a bunch of different probiotics.

[531] You know what I'd like this probiotic?

[532] Kimchi, pickled cabbage.

[533] If you get that from, it's delicious.

[534] Is it good?

[535] Yeah, love it.

[536] Sounds awesome.

[537] I'm not a cabbage fan.

[538] I'm not a big cabbage.

[539] You got to try some.

[540] I'll give you some afterwards.

[541] Oh, sauerkraut and cabbage.

[542] It's spicy, though.

[543] It's like a spicy Korean cabbage.

[544] But you can get it at some organic places, and it's probiotic.

[545] What they do is they take the cabbage and they leave it out for like a few days, and then, you know, you pickle it with a bunch of different things.

[546] I don't know exactly the whole process.

[547] But the whole idea is that getting live organisms into your body that are healthy.

[548] you know that's like really important to do uh after you've had a colonic if you want to get water blown into your asshole i've done it twice have you done the i heard about doing it i've thinking about doing it i did it twice i've heard it's awesome i don't know what's true i did it it was a tough this one late this is going to be awful all right this one lady did it the first lady that went to right she did it and it didn't hurt that bad it wasn't as awkward as i thought it was going to be so i made a point with this lady to do it again she they call me like They're like, this lady's tough to get, so you have to, you want her.

[549] I'm like, yeah, my wife's water breaks, but I have the colonic appointment that day, but I have the colonic appointment that day, but it just broke.

[550] And she's, I'm like, look, the doctor said you're supposed to chill out, relax, take a shower.

[551] I'm going to go, get my colonic, and I'll be back.

[552] She's like, oh, my God.

[553] You're going to keep, I go, this lady's so tough to get.

[554] And I got it.

[555] And I'm like, I know you have at least two hours.

[556] You're so crazy.

[557] I ran and did the colonic.

[558] I go, now we both know.

[559] We both have had shit pulled from everything's going to be, we're on the even plane.

[560] playing field now everything's going to be good I feel better got your shit and her baby are not the same I know LA I had to run because my kids getting about to be delivered I knew I had time I knew it I mentally prepared for this fucking you know you got a mentally you went straight Hollywood son the way back I grabbed the soy latte never had coffee wow yeah he's not a coffee drinker no what about coffee animus what's that all about I don't know people stuffing coffee what is that mean I don't understand what the you never heard of that No. Yeah, ground coffee.

[561] Somehow they take coffee and they pump it up their asshole.

[562] I don't know what that's about.

[563] It's supposed to be good for you.

[564] How do you get it up your asshole?

[565] I guess you use like one of those things that you used to put blow air on a fireplace.

[566] What are this things called?

[567] Fireplace bellows.

[568] In the beginning, I was like, oh, he knows how, oh, no, that's not right.

[569] That thing isn't right.

[570] That's not right.

[571] Maybe a turkey baster.

[572] You could have a big ass turkey baster, it's stuffing up your ass.

[573] Why coffee?

[574] And how many different things are the caffeine probably?

[575] People, look, man, the same people that invented ayahuasca, they said, what happens when you pour coffee up your ass?

[576] What's next?

[577] Let's combine these two things.

[578] I don't know, man. I guess it would just go right into your bloodstream.

[579] There's a woman online, her YouTube name, I think, is Neurosoup.

[580] And she has a very fascinating story about taking DMT up her ass.

[581] What?

[582] She put DMT up her ass, and there it goes right into your bloodstream because, you know, it's open, as opposed to, you know, if you eat it.

[583] and it has to go through your stomach and everything.

[584] So she takes this DMT up her ass and has this 30 -minute trip as opposed to like a 15 -minute trip.

[585] You know, she probably got some fucking insane dose.

[586] Because when you smoke it, you know, you're breaking it down.

[587] It's got to go into your lungs.

[588] I mean, it's probably much less than if you actually inject it right into your asshole.

[589] You mainline it into your asshole.

[590] People will try anything to get high.

[591] I mean, how about those fucking assholes they get arrested and they have paint all over their face?

[592] Yeah, because they've been puffing paint Puffing bags of paint Oh, God, I used to do keyboard cleaner Back in the day Keyboard cleaner?

[593] Yeah, like where you, it was like the shit that you sprayed on your keyboards to clean and stuff And it was like whip it Pretty much like you would do it And then you start hearing the WWWWWWWWWWWW thing And I remember I was with my friend And he gets so pissed when I say this But it was with my friend And he was like, I'm a badass We're driving his little CRX And he fucking does it while we're driving and we're coming up who's driving you or him no he is he's driving yeah he pulls it out and I'm like what the fuck are you doing it's dude don't worry about I'm not doing a lot and he fucking passes out what foot goes on the gas just like this he's like hey man he's just fucking here pulling his head up yeah what a fucking great quote don't worry I'm not doing a lot and and he he passes up foot on the gas and was going up on a railroad track so you couldn't see if our car was coming on the other side of railroad track so I was freaking out and I pulled up his emergency break and he skid it out and crashed his car and the first thing he comes true he goes what the fuck happened and he gets out and goes what the fuck man my car I'm like what the fuck are you talking about doing the shit passing out with your foot on the gap wait but he was mad at you he was mad at me and I was like yeah here's what you should have done I don't know how close you are with this guy but you should have rolled out of the car and let destiny fucking take care of this guy yeah you should have gone Steve Austin's This guy should have just been like, whatever happens happens.

[594] And if he dies, he dies.

[595] Rolling out of the car is dangerous as fuck.

[596] That shit doesn't really work.

[597] You hit your head on the concrete.

[598] Yeah.

[599] It looks awesome in the movies.

[600] But the reality of rolling out of the car.

[601] Yeah, you're basically falling onto the concrete at 30 miles an hour or whatever the fuck.

[602] You're fast.

[603] How fast where are you going when you crashed?

[604] Probably not.

[605] I mean, we're probably going 25 when he did it.

[606] And then we probably went up to like 45 when, because I mean, it was like, it was like, it was like, it was scary as fuck.

[607] Where's that dude now?

[608] Well, he joined the Air Force, and then he...

[609] He's one of the special six.

[610] He's a SEAL Team Six?

[611] They killed the frozen bin Laden.

[612] And he came out of the closet and told everyone except me, which is odd.

[613] And then now he works for a company.

[614] So he's gay?

[615] Yeah, but he hasn't taught his parents or anyone he's told all my friends.

[616] No wonder he did so much drugs.

[617] He was trying to mask.

[618] Yeah, I guess that's probably what it is, right?

[619] Yeah, he's probably going, I can, I want to blow Brian so bad.

[620] I can't, I can't.

[621] I got to just get high.

[622] I just got to stay fucking something's got to change what's going on on my brain from it.

[623] There was a study that somebody put up on the Rogan board on the message board about the increase the number of people that are gay that have cancer as opposed to straight people and there's a much higher percentage of gay people.

[624] Yeah?

[625] And we were trying to speculate what the fuck that is, whether it's drugs because gay people party their asses off.

[626] You know, especially young gay dudes.

[627] They party like fucking crazy.

[628] Every night of the week too.

[629] Yeah.

[630] Yeah.

[631] There's It's crazy.

[632] Sunday off.

[633] Like, San Monica Boulevard, like, those bars and stuff.

[634] It's like Mardi Gras every night.

[635] Yeah, I went to this place called the Abbey here in Los Angeles, which is one of the bigger ones, I guess.

[636] I went with a bunch of girls.

[637] And it was like two in the afternoon on a Sunday, full party.

[638] I mean, hundreds and hundreds of people drunk, like, partying their asses on the crates.

[639] Yeah, they don't give a fuck.

[640] No. It looks like a fun life, except for all the AIDS and cancer and bad sex.

[641] Yeah.

[642] You know, it's not fun.

[643] It's great going, like, like, Ari Shafir's old joke.

[644] It's great going being, like, you know, a straight guy because all the chicks there are, like, thinking everyone's gay.

[645] They're like, oh.

[646] They're never going to trust you.

[647] They're always going to think you're partially gay.

[648] But going into the bathroom, though, was like the worst experience because there's not only drug use, like, fucking everywhere.

[649] People doing cocaine on the sinks and everything like that.

[650] But, like, the stall is just one of those big, like, big bathtubs.

[651] Yeah.

[652] And it's just like, all right.

[653] You make it like it's Woodstock.

[654] Like, you have fun while you're there because you get to hear Hendricks, but you come out of filthy you're just the stalls a bathtub but you know you know like those those urinal stalls oh one of those no dividers they don't care what are those weird what are those weird yeah yeah those piffs too those you get a lot on the road yeah if you're in some weird bar in like oklahoma you'll get a lot of those troughs you know where they they have those in fenway do they those troughs yeah makes sense they just have like those dirty animals just give them somewhere non -specific to pee fucking savages just show me a hole to put my piss into doesn't matter what it looks like one of the worst times ever, I used to be a manager of this coffee shop called Perfect Cup Cappuccino.

[655] It was when Cappuccino just became big in the United States.

[656] Like there was all these coffee shops popping up everywhere.

[657] And right next door to it was one of the grossest gay bars in Columbus, Ohio.

[658] And this is like goth gay.

[659] This is like fucking the worst gay ever.

[660] What is Gough gay?

[661] Do they have that?

[662] Is that a style?

[663] I don't know.

[664] They hate everything.

[665] They hate everything.

[666] It's awful.

[667] Other gay people, themselves, their parents, everything.

[668] And the woman that owned this place, God bless her, she was just like this fucking cute little old lady that her husband died so she was bored and sad so she took all her money to get this nice little coffee shop.

[669] And so she's training me to be like a manager of this place.

[670] And there's this window looking in the backyard of this building, which is like an alley.

[671] And she goes, now I made this little curtain.

[672] And she sewed this curtain to put it over the window at certain times.

[673] I'm like, she's like, sometimes you're going to have to.

[674] shut this curtain because of this place next door.

[675] I'm like, what is she talking about?

[676] One time, and so I used to say, now, this job I worked at was fucking awful.

[677] Like, I would come there at, like, 5 a .m. and work until, like, 2 p .m. every single day.

[678] And there would be guys passed out in the back of this gay bar that just, like, had sex out in the back of the alley, and then passed out on the ground.

[679] And so one time, I just sit there and listen to Howard Stern for hours.

[680] That was my only thing to do.

[681] No one ever came into this coffee shop, you know?

[682] So, one time, like, making chicken stuff.

[683] out or something in the back of the place.

[684] I look, and there was just fucking three guys completely naked, fucking butt sex, there's fucking needles everywhere.

[685] Fuck a curtain.

[686] It was just like, and I'm just like, wall that fucking window up, dude.

[687] It just never have to see.

[688] Put a wall and fill it up with cement.

[689] I wonder why no one went over to your coffee shop.

[690] You're listening to Stern and there's a butt fuck going on next door.

[691] Exactly.

[692] There's a welcome sign out front.

[693] Felt so bad.

[694] Jesus, man. I was like, she went into logo, which was going to pay me. I was like, you know, I'll just make the logo for you.

[695] You know, I just felt so bad for this.

[696] I only lasted like a month there, but I just became so depressed.

[697] And then, like, those guys.

[698] Why are you just depressed?

[699] It sounds like they were having a good time.

[700] No, because it was so awful.

[701] It was just, like, those people would then come after having butt sex every morning, these homeless butt sex guys, they'd come in and get coffees every day.

[702] And they were just, like, hang out and smell, like, butt sex and fucking Ari.

[703] And they're like, old books, old books.

[704] And it was just the grossest.

[705] Like, it looked like a country kitchen with butt sex.

[706] sex homeless people It's weird how gay dudes will totally take over a neighborhood They tell everybody Hey man I'm moving here Why don't you move here too And I'll just fuck all day They get like a whole group of them Lesbians have never figured out How to rock that No They can't really organize the way gay dudes can Gay dudes can take over Whole neighborhoods You know like we're going to San Francisco This weekend by the way Cobbs Comedy Club What made you think of San Francisco Almost sold out bitches Because there's a lot of butt sex going on in San Francisco Sun Cobbs comedy club this Thursday, Friday and Saturday with Sam Tripoli.

[707] Oh, shit.

[708] And Tom Segarra.

[709] It's a fucking double whammy folks.

[710] That's two headliners open up for me. It's amazing.

[711] It is amazing.

[712] Yeah, dude, those guys are killers.

[713] We're going to have a good fucking time.

[714] But, you know, there's areas of San Francisco that are like hugely gay.

[715] Just like, I think Santa Monica Boulevard, though, tops it.

[716] As far as, like, exclusively gayest place on the planet.

[717] It's one of it's like the epicenter of homo.

[718] It's better, it's bigger than even like like Chelsea down in New York, I think it's close, but there's just so many people in New York.

[719] And it's so concentrated.

[720] But West Hollywood, it's just like, there's no, like, rolling into West Hollywood and being like, what are you fucking guys doing here?

[721] It's like, no, what the fuck are you doing here, bro?

[722] Yeah, exactly.

[723] There's a, the gay flag is our flag of Santa Monica Boulevard.

[724] It's like, this is our place.

[725] When you drive by rage, have you ever driven by rage on Friday and Saturday night?

[726] Dude, it's like carnival outside.

[727] They don't just going crazy.

[728] It certainly seems like they're having more fun.

[729] I picked up one of those newspapers that had all the hookers and escorts and stuff like that and they have like whole pages with trannies.

[730] And one of the things that says on it is 100 % working fully functional trannies.

[731] Does that mean like they got the vagina and now the vagina works so you can fuck it?

[732] I don't think so.

[733] I think they have a dick.

[734] Oh, so that's what's fully functioning.

[735] If I had a guess, I would say that their dick still works, but they're transvest.

[736] I think it's, not a transsexual.

[737] Because when you say trannies, like I think transsexual is like they want to be a woman, but a transvestite they want to be a man dressed as a woman.

[738] Yeah, transsexuals are probably the people that are starting the process of becoming the other gender.

[739] That's possible too, but some of them are just dudes.

[740] They're just for whatever weird reason, like to dress up like girls.

[741] Like Chas Bono is, what, a transsexual?

[742] I don't know, but I almost had to watch that.

[743] I had a taste.

[744] I had a taste.

[745] Mrs. Rogan somewhere, and I was in a waiting room for an hour.

[746] and I was watching Good Morning America, and then they were talking about Oprah being on Next.

[747] You know, and not an X. It was like at 3 p .m. And I was like, God damn it, I might have to watch this.

[748] They keep teasing me with this Chaz Bono thing.

[749] I want to see this story.

[750] I want to know the real truth.

[751] You won't get it from Oprah.

[752] I want to get it from listening to her talk.

[753] If I get it, I might get it from listening to him.

[754] Oh, just hearing the answers of the questions she asked.

[755] It's got to be that she was ignored.

[756] That's the only thing that makes sense.

[757] I get to see your wife's like, all right, let's go.

[758] I'm like, no, I got to watch the rest of this Oprah.

[759] I understand.

[760] I haven't taped at home.

[761] I understand lesbians because I think women are hot.

[762] I get it.

[763] I get that too.

[764] I get it.

[765] It makes sense to me. And her girlfriend, his, I don't know, Chaz's girlfriend is cute.

[766] She's a cute girl.

[767] Yeah.

[768] She's got a name.

[769] She's got a name, bro.

[770] She's got some fucking pull.

[771] It's just work in the lesbian community as well.

[772] She's a very popular.

[773] She's an alpha.

[774] When your mom, no matter what you are, is Cher, that's still pretty good.

[775] Yeah.

[776] Share and Sonny Bono.

[777] Yeah.

[778] Not bad.

[779] Not bad.

[780] It's a story.

[781] It's worth saying, you know?

[782] I dated.

[783] Who you dating this, this year?

[784] Oh, Chas Bona.

[785] Chas Bona.

[786] Yeah, that's interesting.

[787] Okay.

[788] But the weird, what I was going to say is, I think, become, I understand wanting to be gay.

[789] I don't understand wanting to be the other sex.

[790] But, you know, maybe it's just my own mind, you know?

[791] I mean, maybe.

[792] Don't knock until you try it, Joe.

[793] Exactly.

[794] Maybe some dudes are just wired a certain way.

[795] I have a friend whose son is becoming a girl.

[796] Oh, really?

[797] Yeah, his son is, like, just turning 18 and wants to be a girl.

[798] so she's going he's going through all the different steps but you know this poor fuck is in a bad situation he's in the middle of a crazy divorce and all kinds of the shit but but just the idea of your son wanting to be a girl like you know like fuck man what does holzman say about it hey easy easy son that's actually he's joking around that's a holtman joke one of his best i used to call that out from the back of the room all the time miss that i miss that guy i miss those days of the comedy store man good fucking times in that club a lot of bad energy but a lot of good times you know what I heard that's hilarious what?

[799] Two different people have told me the story that Tommy said that he used to be an actor and he wanted to be an actor but too many homos were hitting on him of course used to run an all -mail review dance show down in Tampa I think it was Jacksonville Florida and yeah he had like he truly wanted to become an actor he was an all -male review guy what does that mean would host the all -male -review dance show.

[800] So it was like a gay strip show.

[801] And he was the host?

[802] Yeah, but he never liked when the gays came on to him.

[803] Wow.

[804] So that's why he stayed out of acting?

[805] So that's why, yeah.

[806] It was him and Johnny Depp, I think, are the two most irresistible.

[807] Don't you think Johnny Depp would have been like the guy that's like, look, I'm not getting into acting because I get hit on all the time.

[808] Like, if Johnny Depp's cool with it, I think Tommy Morris should be cool with it.

[809] I don't know.

[810] You know, Johnny Depp, I have a special.

[811] affection for that guy he's just you know what i like him i like him too i saw the he's legit the pirates of the caribbean guy first of all he looks like he's 18 years old he gets he looks like he still do 21 jumpstreet he's like he is it's on i've never seen anything like it and he smokes cigarettes doesn't he yeah i think it's just crazy because it's france he lives in france is that what it is he lives in france he comes on his own face he lives on his he lives in france and just is his wife french or something like that yeah it's wife i'm a big fan of him ever since i found out he was a big fan of Hunter S. Thompson, and then when he did Fear and Loathing in Los Vegas.

[812] He was great.

[813] He was very good.

[814] Bill Murray was actually better.

[815] Bill Murray did Where the Buffalo Roams.

[816] He played Hunter S. Thompson and that.

[817] Fucking genius.

[818] He nailed it.

[819] But the movie was not as good.

[820] Fear and Loathing was a much better movie.

[821] Overall.

[822] Yeah, but I don't think Johnny Depp his voice were...

[823] Like, there's certain impressions I can't do.

[824] I can't.

[825] I try, and my voice doesn't work that way.

[826] And some people just can't do...

[827] Johnny Depp sounds like he's trying to sound like a version of Hunter S. Thompson.

[828] But Bill Murray He sounds like Hunter S. Thompson.

[829] But then when I found out that Johnny Depp lived in Hunter's basement and fucking stayed with him for fucking like weeks and weeks trying to work on the whole impression of him.

[830] Oh, my God.

[831] Dude, listen to this.

[832] I was on a plane yesterday back from New York.

[833] And Sally Field was sitting next to me. So she was very nice and she was reading a book.

[834] And then one point she stopped.

[835] And there was something that happened.

[836] We got into a conversation.

[837] She's playing, she's in this new movie where she's playing Abraham Lincoln's wife.

[838] And Stephen Spielberg is directing it.

[839] And Daniel Day Lewis is playing Abraham Lincoln.

[840] So I said, I got to ask you.

[841] I said, just let me know if you can't answer it.

[842] I go, has he started the process yet?

[843] And she goes, yep.

[844] And the way she said it, it was like, somewhere in the world, there's a man walking around right now, thinking that he is Abraham fucking Lincoln.

[845] Yeah, that's how gangster and crazy Daniel Day Lewis gets into that shit, where it's like months and months and months in advance, he is preparing.

[846] Like, so that when he's there, it's just, that's what, that's all he is.

[847] You know, when he filmed there will be blood, he slept in a. tent on the set?

[848] Yeah.

[849] Remember he got all greasy and shit?

[850] That's how he got into it.

[851] That's how he got into his role.

[852] He just became that guy.

[853] Just crazy.

[854] He's, in my opinion, the best.

[855] He's the best.

[856] And there's a reason why he only does a movie like once every three years because it takes that fucking, you know, in his mind, I don't know if it always will, but that right now, it takes that to get to there.

[857] And it's like, fuck it, just do what you want to do.

[858] Did you ever see that movie where he played a boxer?

[859] Yeah.

[860] The best boxing fight scenes.

[861] I think it was.

[862] Yeah.

[863] The best boxing fight scenes in any movie ever.

[864] most believable.

[865] And I heard that Mark Wahlberg, like, New Hit a Box.

[866] I've heard that before.

[867] What did you think of that?

[868] I was good to ask you.

[869] It was a good movie, but I felt like it was a little flat, and I felt like the fight teams look fake as fuck.

[870] It's like, I'm doing this movie right now called Here Comes the Boom.

[871] It's Kevin James' mixed martial arts movie.

[872] Oh, cool.

[873] It's a comedy, and it's also mixed martial arts.

[874] The fucking fight scenes are off the chain.

[875] Really?

[876] They've got Ryan Parsons is helping him out there, and this dude Darrow, who's the, the fight coordinator, and, you know, boss Rootin's helping them too.

[877] And they came up with these amazing fight and fucking, these sequences are, they look so realistic and so good and so well shot and so dynamic and it keeps your interest.

[878] Like I watched one of the, this Mayhem, Jason Mayhem Miller and Kevin James fight.

[879] And I watched the fight.

[880] I'm like, this is fucking well done.

[881] Really?

[882] Like it's totally realistic, like the scenario is realistic.

[883] But it's also like the way they shot it is super dynamic.

[884] They're always moving.

[885] Whereas I looked at the fighter and I'm like, this is.

[886] seems flat it's like he this is like we're watching rocky too man i've seen this before yeah well i've seen these exact same scenes of this guy punching the other guy and i think i think those kind of directors choose to do it like what they would consider artfully where they're just going to keep the camera on it let the action you know it's like you need to see different angles you want that's why watching fights you know live is amazing but like even on television you just see you cut the different angles when when the guy's in this position they can go around the other side and it's cool to see those different things whereas like those are artsy movies are like, well, just going to keep the camera there and let the...

[887] Well, I think respectfully, Mark Wahlberg did not imitate Mickey Ward style.

[888] He just didn't.

[889] He threw a decent left hook to the body, like that looked okay.

[890] But Mickey Ward had a very particular way of holding his hands.

[891] He had a very particular style of throwing his faints and his movement.

[892] It was very easy to watch.

[893] You know, like Anderson Silva is awesome at imitating fighters.

[894] There's all these videos online of him imitating.

[895] Liota Machita and imitating Chuck Liddell and there's fighters have styles they have a certain way they move and you can't just be you in a Boston accent and you call your name Mickey you know no you have to move like Mickey Ward moved you have to box away Mickey Ward box which is what I thought you can't have your chin up in the air and throwing punches like a guy who's never been punched in the face because that's what I'm watching I'm watching I'm watching a guy throw punches in a boxing match it's not like the way a guy throws punches in a boxing match.

[896] Maybe to me, I'm a extremist because my job, one of my jobs is to watch fighting and analyze it and break it down.

[897] But I'm watching this.

[898] I'm like, you didn't even try, man. You didn't even try.

[899] If I was your friend, if I was Mark Wahlberg's friend, I'd be like, yo, dude, this is a fucking, Mickey Ward is one of those guys, especially in Boston, that's where he's from.

[900] That's where Walberg's from, too.

[901] This guy character, there's a legend to that guy.

[902] He's an all -time great Boston character.

[903] His fights have the display of courage and will.

[904] Those are all -time spectacular moments in boxing.

[905] You owe a lot more than that, man. You've got to work on that style.

[906] And I also hope they don't do.

[907] Well, first of all, I thought that what's his name is the brother was fucking unbelievable.

[908] Brilliant.

[909] Brilliant.

[910] Dick Eklund.

[911] Yeah, because he knew the boxing and he could tell that he probably didn't come from a boxing background.

[912] So whatever he started with was from Fresh.

[913] to the point he got, I thought it was really good.

[914] He also embodied the guy very, very well.

[915] But I hope they don't do it.

[916] I hope they're just talking about them doing Fighter 2 where they'll get like an Arturo Gotti out there or try to find.

[917] Really?

[918] Is there you talking about that?

[919] I've heard, I don't know, I've heard just through different channels.

[920] Well, I hope but they do do that.

[921] That would be stupid to me. You say that, but what if they did a good job of it?

[922] Who the fuck knows?

[923] You know, I never would have thought this one moved.

[924] This was a good movie.

[925] And Walberg is a good actor.

[926] when he's acting.

[927] But I just felt like in his fight scenes, I just feel like it wasn't enough like Mickey Ward.

[928] And it wasn't realistic enough, man. You know, you guys got to hit each other a little.

[929] You know, I want to see you really get hit, man. I want to see a little, pat.

[930] I want to see a slap.

[931] I want to see a fucking jab, knock your hair back, man. I want to see it real.

[932] I mean, this isn't real to me. This is like, oh, here's the fight scene in the movie.

[933] My heart didn't move at all.

[934] When I watched that Kevin James thing, and Kevin James and Mayhem, just the pure artistic version, like what they did, their version of the fight scene.

[935] I was like, these motherfuckers thought this shit out.

[936] There's a camera on his chest while they're grappling.

[937] It's like this wild shot of him getting belly to belly suplexed from a camera on his chest.

[938] Like, dude, it's good.

[939] It's like it's interesting.

[940] It cuts from a bunch of different angles and, you know, and it looks like they're really fighting.

[941] What kind of shape is he in right now?

[942] He got incredible shape.

[943] Did he really?

[944] He lost 80 fucking pounds.

[945] What?

[946] Yeah.

[947] Kevin, whoops.

[948] Kevin James went on this all vegan.

[949] all live, all raw foods, diet.

[950] And he went out of a while ago.

[951] There's a woman who wrote this book that Mrs. Rogan's reading right now, and she's doing it too.

[952] And some all raw foods, all like kale blended up and all this different shit.

[953] Well, Kevin was on that movie, the, what's that called?

[954] The dilemma with Vince Vaughn.

[955] Yeah.

[956] Vince and him became pals.

[957] And Vince is like, bro, you know, you're fucking really heavy.

[958] You've got to do something, but Kevin's like, I know.

[959] I've been friends with Kevin for 20 years, and he's been struggling with his weight for 20 years.

[960] We did a ball cop together, and we would drive home together in Boston, and he would have, we would eat all day.

[961] He had his own chef and stuff, and he'd well all day, and then we would hit McDonald's, a Bird King, whatever.

[962] It would be like 30 bucks, the bill for two people.

[963] I'm not kidding you, man. Sounds like Joe Rogan.

[964] He would kill it.

[965] He would fuck up some food, son.

[966] And he was so cool about, he'd be like, yeah, this is fucking good.

[967] You'd just be eating it, you know, you're like, it's fucking great.

[968] He doesn't have shame.

[969] And Kevin's a very, very honest dude.

[970] But he also realized, like, God, I got to do something about this.

[971] So it's been nine months.

[972] He's had no meat for.

[973] nine months.

[974] Everything has been all raw, vegan, everything super, super healthy.

[975] But he's ready to go off like a rocket.

[976] As soon as his filming's over, he's going to eat a whole cow.

[977] Really?

[978] Yeah, he's going to take it.

[979] He's going to go straight to Ruth's Chris.

[980] That's a rap.

[981] She's going to be a card, it's going to drive him straight to Ruth's Chris Steakhouse.

[982] He's going to get a fucking T -bone and mashed potatoes with gravy.

[983] But he's lost a tremendous amount of weight.

[984] 80 pounds, wow.

[985] Kevin has always had like real martial arts skills.

[986] I'm going to try to get him to do the podcast because I'm doing the movie.

[987] I'm going to be with him for nine days, and I'm going to try to get him to do the podcast, but he's like super private, man. He doesn't like to talk about shit publicly.

[988] He doesn't like to do exposing interviews.

[989] Like the opposite of me, where I'll tell you exactly what I'm thinking about everything, he's not that kind of a guy.

[990] He's a little bit more laid back, and it's hard to get him to, I don't know if he's going to willing to do an interview like that.

[991] But the story is very interesting.

[992] He's lost 80 fucking pounds.

[993] He looks fantastic.

[994] His face is all thinned, his body.

[995] He's still, like, a little fat.

[996] He's not, like, he's not shredded.

[997] He doesn't look like Anderson.

[998] Ryan Riddles.

[999] Yeah, he doesn't look Ryan Riddell.

[1000] I saw Mayhem recently, and now it makes sense why he's so thick.

[1001] Mayhem's just gotten thick lately, too.

[1002] Well, it's because Mayhem hasn't fought in a long time.

[1003] Mayhem got fucked.

[1004] These Strike Force morons, because Mayhem got in a fight, there was a fight where Jake Shields beat Dan Henderson, awesome fight, and it was a big event on CBS.

[1005] The whole CBS event, though, was a disaster because their production was so, unorganized that they went way, way, way over the time.

[1006] An hour and a half or something over their allotted time.

[1007] So they went into the news, they went past the news, they went to some other show that was on past the news.

[1008] It was so bad.

[1009] The UFC's never done anything remotely like this ever.

[1010] I mean, they just don't know what they're doing.

[1011] They were real raw in the game.

[1012] And anyway, Mayhem and Jake Shields had fought to a very close decision.

[1013] It was a really good fight.

[1014] And at one point in time, Mayhem had Jake Shields back with a rear naked choke in, and Jake was going out in the bell rang.

[1015] I mean, it was locked in.

[1016] It was a rap.

[1017] There was no way Mayhem was letting go.

[1018] He was palm to palm.

[1019] He had the forearm across the neck.

[1020] Jake was turning red.

[1021] Boom.

[1022] The bell rang.

[1023] And he wanted a rematch.

[1024] So they let Mayhem in the cage.

[1025] And Mayhem interrupted the interview between Jake Shields and the commentator Gus Johnson and said, hey, how about my rematch?

[1026] And then Jake Shield's buddy said, get the fuck out of here.

[1027] And then Nick Diaz and Nate Diaz and Jake and Gilbert Melendez, it turned into a fucking brawl on CBS.

[1028] Well, they blamed Mayhem.

[1029] Meanwhile, Mayhem didn't throw the first punch.

[1030] Mayhem got beat up.

[1031] He was on his back and they were kicking him in the head.

[1032] And they're blaming him.

[1033] And so they wouldn't let him fight again.

[1034] He couldn't fight on Showtime and he couldn't fight on CBS.

[1035] And they didn't tell him.

[1036] So they were pussies about it.

[1037] So for a fucking year this guy's been sitting on the bench.

[1038] So he's been lifting and he's been getting bigger.

[1039] You know, when you don't have to make 185 pounds, you just eat whatever the fuck you want to eat, you don't have anything on the horizon.

[1040] You know, he gets big.

[1041] He's a big boy.

[1042] He could fight 205 if he wanted to.

[1043] You know, he can walk around easy at like 220, 225.

[1044] But, you know, at 85, he's big as fuck.

[1045] So he's going to be fighting in the UFC now.

[1046] He's going to be fighting July 2nd again, Aaron Simpson.

[1047] You want to go?

[1048] Oh, fuck you.

[1049] Oh, shit.

[1050] You're in?

[1051] Sweet.

[1052] You want to go?

[1053] I can't.

[1054] No?

[1055] No, it's July 2nd.

[1056] July 2nd.

[1057] Can't do it.

[1058] Colonic Day.

[1059] Got a colonic.

[1060] 1015.

[1061] Big fuck up this weekend, man. Gray Maynard and Frankie Edgar, the fight's canceled.

[1062] What happened?

[1063] Five round championship fight.

[1064] That's the main event.

[1065] Are canceled.

[1066] Why?

[1067] Gray Maynard, apparently, it hurt his knee, but he was going to fight anyway.

[1068] You know, he was because it was for a title shot, so he was going to figure out how to just nurse his knee, you know, it's three weeks away.

[1069] But Frankie Edgar broke his ribs, and when his ribs are broken, you can't, there's no way, he's fucked.

[1070] Anderson Silva actually fought Chale Sondon with a broken rib.

[1071] It's either a broken rib or a separated rib.

[1072] There was something wrong with his rib.

[1073] But, you know, he took it anyway.

[1074] You know, I guess he felt like he could still pull it off, and he did.

[1075] But with Edgar, apparently it was too bad.

[1076] He couldn't do anything.

[1077] So Frankie Edgar and Gray Maynard is going to be moved to somewhere, around I think they said it depending on how everybody heals up it'd be like late summer early fall somewhere around then so now I don't know who the main event is I think it's going to be Rampage versus Matt Hamill nice Rick Story versus Tiago Alves is a big fight on that card too that's a fucking nasty fight with a bunch of great with the UFC buying strike force is there going to be more events now or just bigger events when you do events?

[1078] It's a good question as of right now it's two different companies and as of right now they own both and so they can bring guys over like they brought mayhem over to the UFC because they own both of them and like if you fucks aren't going to fight him this guy's one of the most popular fighters in the world and you idiots aren't fighting him like what kind of nonsense is that?

[1079] It's so awesome I'm so glad that he's going to be in the UFC finally.

[1080] Yeah yeah it'll be huge for him you know it'd be huge and you know what he should have been in the UFC a long time ago he's you know the real problem with Strike Force is what I don't remember who said this but it's very astute they said that when you when you watch Strike Force what was awesome about it was you got to see a lot of knockouts and a lot of submissions.

[1081] And sometimes you watch the UFC and the guys are so evenly matched that they kind of cancel each other out.

[1082] That is true.

[1083] It's because they're mismatches, though.

[1084] One of the reasons why they're so exciting is because it's Paul Daly versus Scott Smith.

[1085] And the reality is, Scott Smith really can't stand with Paul Daly.

[1086] So it does turn out to be a spectacular knockout.

[1087] You know, so it's better that there's more competition.

[1088] It's better.

[1089] But sometimes the fights aren't nearly as exciting because these guys cancel each other out.

[1090] But then sometimes when you get two of the baddest motherfuckers in the world and, you know, one guy takes a chance like Anderson Silver versus Vitor and it winds up being ultra spectacular and even worth more because you know that these guys are the best guys in the fucking world.

[1091] You know, so it's it's all, it's, you know, it's all tricky, man. It's all tricky.

[1092] It's going to be better to have all these fighters in, but they have to figure out what exactly they're going to do.

[1093] I do miss matches of the old UFC's, you know, like where it's a blackbell and jiu -jitsu versus a bartender of the out.

[1094] Applebees.

[1095] Yeah, those are fun as far as, like, as a spectacle.

[1096] Yeah.

[1097] So, yeah, I guess they just, they've moved Tiago Alvese versus Rick Story to the main card.

[1098] But there's a lot of good fights on this, man. Do they have any of those, like, fight fantasy camps?

[1099] You know how they have for, like, basketball and baseball?

[1100] Like, go down and play with old Yankees and, you know.

[1101] That's a good question.

[1102] Do they have it?

[1103] Do they have it?

[1104] Do you have it?

[1105] But I'm sure there's dudes that would do it.

[1106] Yeah, they would show them how to fight it.

[1107] Well, you know, it's like training.

[1108] Yeah, they should do something like that.

[1109] It's not a bad idea.

[1110] Miguel Torres versus Mighty Mouse Johnson.

[1111] That is the fucking fight.

[1112] This guy, Demetrius Mighty Mouse Johnson, he fought on Spike TV last time he fought Kid Yamamoto, who at one point in time was one of the baddest motherfuckers in the world, and now he's down to his real weight of 135 pounds.

[1113] He could not.

[1114] Fuck with this dude.

[1115] This dude, Mighty Mouse Johnson, is this tiny little guy who moves faster than I've ever seen anyone.

[1116] He is the perfect reason, like the perfect version of the 135 -pound fighter.

[1117] If you wanted an argument, like why do they have this 135 pound weight class?

[1118] Watch that guy.

[1119] Because nobody at 185 can move like that.

[1120] This fucking guy moves like a lightning bolt, just diving under punches.

[1121] His double -leg takedown is faster than any I've ever seen before.

[1122] And his stand -up as fast as fuck, too.

[1123] So this guy is fighting the former champion, Miguel Torres.

[1124] That's a sick fucking fight.

[1125] I hope that's on the main card.

[1126] I think it is.

[1127] It might not be.

[1128] It might be a swing bout or something.

[1129] It might be the spike.

[1130] Oh, it is.

[1131] I think it's a Spike TV.

[1132] fight.

[1133] Did Strikeforce have girl fighting?

[1134] Yes, they do have girl fighting.

[1135] And did Dana just cancel all that?

[1136] No, he didn't cancel all that.

[1137] They had this fighter summit where they met and they talked about the girl fights.

[1138] And they talked about, you know, they had some sort of a girl fight.

[1139] No, I've never called a girl fight.

[1140] I would have to be more special.

[1141] Yeah, I've called some ones in bars.

[1142] Oh, bitch.

[1143] Those are always more fun.

[1144] Yeah, I guess.

[1145] I don't know, man. That's why I love watching those YouTube videos of like chicks fighting at Denny's and stuff.

[1146] like that, like that one that was all over the place I started on Deadspin.

[1147] Because it's just the people especially when girls fight.

[1148] It's the people, you don't, I don't really give a fuck about how the fight.

[1149] I love watching the peripheral people like, oh, bitch.

[1150] Like just the fucking, he just snapped just grabbed their hair and fucking, like, whenever.

[1151] It's just so much better and more animated, the people around them just fucking calling shit out.

[1152] Did you see that one that a couple weeks ago, there was a video going around that it was a fight at Denny's where a black guy was dressed up as Bobo Fett.

[1153] Like he must have just got off of some Star Wars convention and stuff.

[1154] And he's just sitting there videotaping this booth next to him.

[1155] These chicks all fighting with a cop.

[1156] And suddenly this one girl just swings and tries to punch the cop in the face.

[1157] Oh, my God.

[1158] They just throw the girl down.

[1159] It's funny how you can go from, you know, trying to be civilized to just smashing this girl onto the ground and just...

[1160] Or putting on your Boba Fett costume and then getting sent out to the ground later on that night.

[1161] Was that World Star Hip Hop?

[1162] Yes, I think it was.

[1163] I think I was a start...

[1164] Dude, that one website, World Star Hip Hop, is the conglomeration of the worst beatdowns in the history of the internet.

[1165] World Star.

[1166] Little Esther was just on there the other day.

[1167] Do you see that?

[1168] Her video, her asking the sex questions as dressed up as a little girl, they had her as the video of the week or something like that.

[1169] Well, they'll put on anything.

[1170] It doesn't have to be hip -hop related, but a lot of it is black people getting the fuck beat out of them.

[1171] And dude, there's one video or one guy's talking shit and he gets knocked out, and then everybody runs by and punches and kicks this guy while he's unconscious.

[1172] It is fucking disturbing.

[1173] one guy uses his head like a fucking soccer ball and he just runs up and boots him in the head and another guy comes up and punches him in the head and they're all doing it while this guy's unconscious with his pants down it's hard to watch man it's human beings man when they can get away with shit i mean we see it a little bit on the internet when people are anonymous and they snipe at you and say evil mean shit but when they know they can get away with shit you see the weakness of a human's character you see like the lowest the person can go just very few things lower than you see a guy who just got knocked the fuck out and you just run over and kick him in the head because you can.

[1174] Yeah.

[1175] It takes a special kind of fucked up in pain human being to do that, to dehumanize an unconscious guy like that.

[1176] But there's a bunch of videos on World Star Hip -hop of people doing that, man. Do you know, you guys know who Mike Epps is, don't you?

[1177] The comic?

[1178] Yeah, I saw that video.

[1179] Yeah.

[1180] What video?

[1181] Someone served him while he was on stage, served him subpoena.

[1182] Really?

[1183] While he's performing.

[1184] The woman just threw it on the stage and then he He goes off and say, you know, though, some bitch just threw some papers on the motherfucking stage.

[1185] White bitch.

[1186] Fuck you.

[1187] Yeah, white pitch.

[1188] White bitch?

[1189] And then he said, he admitted to participating in a nightclub brawl saying, this is from when I whipped that niggas ass in Detroit.

[1190] Yeah.

[1191] And then he continued to talk about the process server while she's walking to the exit.

[1192] He's like saying, bitch, I don't give a fuck.

[1193] Suck my dick.

[1194] Wow.

[1195] All on stage in the middle.

[1196] Can you imagine?

[1197] Is there a transcript of this?

[1198] There's a video of it.

[1199] We can listen to it.

[1200] Well, think about it.

[1201] We're the only people that.

[1202] Like, if you wanted to kill us or serve us, you know exactly where we are.

[1203] It's on our website.

[1204] Eight o 'clock on Friday, Steve Renazizzi will be in Cleveland.

[1205] Yeah, at least eight o 'clock, you know the player, I got the address.

[1206] Here's the phone number if you want tickets.

[1207] Here's the audio from me. If you want to hear the audio.

[1208] Sure.

[1209] Let's hear it.

[1210] Yeah, there's.

[1211] He might as well be.

[1212] You can't really hear it.

[1213] Kill that shit.

[1214] Yeah, that's like cell phone.

[1215] He might as well be speaking Martian.

[1216] Yeah.

[1217] That guy's got a, it's Martian talk.

[1218] I heard he, I don't know, this may not be true, but I heard he pull or, or, Got a gun pulled on him or pulled a gun on him in the middle of a set one time.

[1219] Whoa.

[1220] Joey Cola was performing at Pips in Brooklyn, and there was a guy sitting in the front row that was heckling him.

[1221] Yeah.

[1222] And the guy pulled up his shirt and showed him a pistol.

[1223] I was there the night Holtzman got the gun pulled on him by the undercover cop.

[1224] Really?

[1225] Yeah.

[1226] Oh, that's right.

[1227] We called the cops on that guy.

[1228] And then Holtzman, you know, the guy was an off -duty cop, and the guy pulled the gun out.

[1229] I don't think he pulled.

[1230] He showed the gun.

[1231] then Holtzman just kept going of course As if just to say Let it happen now if it's going to happen And then left And then the guy was in the memory He was in the parking lot Walking around his girlfriend's there That's when he pulled a gun out That's when we called the cops And the cops took him around the corner Behind the House of Blues And let him go Remember they did the big dog and pony show Put him in the back of the car Handcuff and then we followed him around And they let him go behind He had his wife come pick him up Wow Boom gone Well you know Cops have to look out for their own but that's an embarrassing moment for them.

[1232] He was wasted.

[1233] That's so weak.

[1234] I was there.

[1235] I remember that.

[1236] I remember that vaguely.

[1237] I remember that because I was like sort of in the outside of it.

[1238] And when the cops came, I was like, what happened?

[1239] Like, what kind of a crazy asshole?

[1240] Like, what do you think you're just going to get away with that?

[1241] No one's going to call the police?

[1242] Well, he did.

[1243] What a silly man thinks he's going to be able to pull a fucking gun out like that?

[1244] Those cops that were, that used to patrol that area, they were cool as fuck.

[1245] They were, yeah.

[1246] Remember that big, what the fuck is his name, Mike?

[1247] Yeah, they used to con. He used to park on the ramp and just come in and hang out.

[1248] Yeah, this guy, and they've come and watch the show and hang out.

[1249] Yeah.

[1250] You know, I think they all do.

[1251] I opened up my truck, and he goes, why does it smell like weed in your car?

[1252] I go, because I smoke good weed.

[1253] What kind of question is that?

[1254] It's smelly.

[1255] Yeah.

[1256] You know?

[1257] I think they work to Kimmel, too.

[1258] I know Barris was friends with all.

[1259] Like, they do security or something like that.

[1260] I used to hook those guys up with UFC tickets.

[1261] Oh, really?

[1262] Yeah.

[1263] Yeah.

[1264] Yeah, they were cool as fuck.

[1265] Like, you know, who likes watching dudes beat the fuck out of each other more than cops.

[1266] Yeah.

[1267] And they're all martial artists.

[1268] I've known so many cops from Jiu -Jitsu.

[1269] You know, if you're a cop, man, you better learn how to fight.

[1270] You better learn something.

[1271] At some point, you're going to have to.

[1272] You have to.

[1273] When I see a guy who's, like, completely out of shape and, like, obviously not skilled and he's a cop, that's a scary place to be, man. It's scary to be a cop anyway.

[1274] But it's really scary to be a cop where, like, you pull your gun out, click, click, click, the bullets don't work.

[1275] You're unarmed and he's unarmed.

[1276] Now what?

[1277] Yep.

[1278] That's scary as fuck, you know?

[1279] There was a video of a guy getting loose in prison.

[1280] They were handcuffing him and they were bringing him somewhere and there was like two cops and he just starts beating the fuck out of these two cops.

[1281] And they were so helpless.

[1282] They did not know how to fight.

[1283] The guy tries to grab a hold of him.

[1284] He doesn't have any technique.

[1285] He probably never been blasted in the face before so he's freaking the fuck out.

[1286] He realizes this wild crazy prisoner is teeing off on him.

[1287] And then the other guy tries to jump on him.

[1288] He blast the other guy.

[1289] It was ugly.

[1290] This guy beat the fuck out of two security guards.

[1291] Beat the fuck out of them, unconscious.

[1292] You know, they thought two guys would be enough to contain him, like, because they didn't know how to fight.

[1293] That must be the most terrifying place to be, not knowing how to fight and being stuck with a crazy prisoner.

[1294] Yeah.

[1295] Who just nothing to lose, man. Especially if the guys are in for murder, those guys, guys that are in for life.

[1296] Well, yeah, what do they have to lose?

[1297] You're going to take more life?

[1298] What a weird fucking life, that must be.

[1299] You ever watch those movies or those documentaries where they go into, like, there was one of them where they went into this one guy, was stabbing this guy, it was all on camera.

[1300] I forget what the name of the documentary was, but he was stabbing this guy in the eye, like over and over and over and over again.

[1301] He was stabbing this guy, and he was screaming out, white power, and he jumped up, and there's some white power jumping off in this motherfucker.

[1302] And this guy is on the ground, like, barely alive, a hundred fucking holes in his head.

[1303] He's just stabbing him over and over again.

[1304] In the head, I'm like, wow.

[1305] Like that, this is a totally different world.

[1306] Oh, yeah.

[1307] Totally different.

[1308] There's levels, there's a spectrum of human behavior.

[1309] And when you see that spectrum, when you see like that Mexican lady, last week there was a video of some cartel woman chopping some guys head off slowly and then skinning his face.

[1310] They skin his face and they put it all on video.

[1311] When you get to that level, there's levels of humanity where it's just like, whoa.

[1312] Like, when you hear about like what Vlad the Impalier used to do.

[1313] the guy that was responsible for the legend of Dracula.

[1314] The legend of Dracula came from an actual man who was such a ruthless motherfucker that he would impale people on sticks.

[1315] And keep their head on a stick, right?

[1316] Their whole body, their head, parts of their body, and he would eat them.

[1317] And he would eat their flesh and would force them to eat each other.

[1318] He would cut their pieces up and cook it and feed it to each other.

[1319] Yeah, and then when people would leave them up there for months and people would come over, you know, his house.

[1320] Like, yeah, there was fucking some people I killed the other day.

[1321] He wanted to make sure that everybody knew he was a bad motherfucker.

[1322] Do not fuck with me. I'm taking shit to the next level.

[1323] Yeah.

[1324] You may be willing to die, but are you willing to be put on a fucking stick and have me eat you for the next three days?

[1325] When things happen, man, when you hear about people kicking shit up to the highest, scariest notches, like one of the scariest things that I ever read was about people that had arrived, the first people that arrived and encountered Native Americans.

[1326] And some of the fucked up things that they did to the Native American babies dashed their heads on rock, like picked them up by their feet and dashed them on the rocks and there was all this was Columbus man Columbus's boys dude Columbus was essentially a mass murderer Columbus was essentially a serial killer you know the what those people had done Columbus and the people that came with him what they had done to the Native Americans that were there you know I don't know if there was resistance if you know the Native Americans attacked first I don't know what the fuck started it all off but if you go into like the ancient like I was writing a script once at one point in time I was writing a movie a werewolf movie about the old West It was like a long time ago, 10 years ago.

[1327] As I'm writing this, I started really getting into the Old West and reading all these stories about all these different battles.

[1328] And the fucking brutality on both sides, the brutality, the horrible shit that people would do where American soldiers would cut the pussy out of dead American Indians, cut their pussy out and wear it on their hats.

[1329] It was like a thing that they did all the time.

[1330] That's probably why they did it.

[1331] Because they turned to their other buddies, and your buddies went Yeah, it probably is why.

[1332] The reaction still hasn't changed.

[1333] It's also to let people know that you're taking shit to the next level.

[1334] And, you know, and everybody has like this romanticized vision of how the American Indians live and they were in peace and harmony.

[1335] Yes and no, because they weren't in peace and harmony with themselves.

[1336] No, they were in fighting.

[1337] They fought all the time.

[1338] The Sioux Indians, for example, like the term Sue, that's not what they call themselves.

[1339] What they call themselves is Lakota.

[1340] They were the Lakota people.

[1341] The other Indians called them the Sioux, because Sue means enemy.

[1342] Really?

[1343] Yes, because these motherfuckers were just the biggest, baddest motherfuckers, and they would come in and kick ass on the other Indians and rape their women and kill everybody.

[1344] And so they called them the Sue.

[1345] Sue.

[1346] What a weird way to live, though, riding around on animals, shooting fucking pointed sticks at other animals.

[1347] Like my pussy hat.

[1348] And by the way, they didn't even have horses until the Spaniards arrived.

[1349] Yeah, until they brought them over.

[1350] Yeah, when the Europeans arrived, that's when they started riding horses.

[1351] before they were living like this crazy nomadic life of thousands of years ago like they had nothing going on they didn't have the wheel they didn't have shit happening they were living like this weird harmonious almost like animal like advanced animal life you know they would uh they would do a lot of hunts where they would do hunts by exhaustion where they would follow a deer and a warrior would chase a deer down and literally run at that deer until that deer died of exhaustion and then they would kill it and then they would all eat it but they would chase them for miles they just were in such incredible shape and they had well they had to do this to stay alive yeah you know when you don't have you know when you you don't have a horse to chase after something you have to chase after it on foot you know and if maybe your bows and arrows suck you know maybe you haven't figured that out yet so you're living like people live thousands and thousands of years ago so in europe they had written language they had culture they had plays they had all this shit going on they were so advanced as far as like society and then you would come to north america and there was savages like literally i get i get sometimes i'm so tired i'm like i'm not even going to walk to the store by the shit that i was already been killed for me i know right and then you got to get out of the car i watched true grit the other day do you like it he was good man the new one is good and uh he's a good actor fucking jeff bridges bro yeah he's a bad motherfucker he's really good matt damon was good and everybody was good and the little girl was good it's a good movie that was her first thing ever she did like an episode of like I don't know like modern family and then this she's fucking good man she can act her ass off but you you look at that movie and you see the hardships of the time like how people were you know what what the shit they had to go through back then just just riding around on animals like just that alone you either get on this stupid stinky train that goes like 30 miles an hour or you have to ride an animal your call your call everything kills you You get a cold Most likely you're going to die That reminds me your joke I don't know I don't do it anymore The one we were like And half your family You travel across the country And half your family is gonna die on the trip Yeah Half of you are going to die You're not even gonna make it Yeah That's best case scenario Remember how that bit goes But yeah It was like I don't remember Stage court Yeah yeah the whole thing You're like This is where we live now Yeah Because you just got You were the lazy ones You're like the island.

[1352] Well, yeah, the idea was the only people in Paduca, Kentucky aren't in Paduca because Paduca is the shit.

[1353] They're in Paduca because they were walking across the country and they went, My feet hurt.

[1354] Yeah, exactly.

[1355] Let's stop here and fuck.

[1356] And they just stayed in some shitty spot.

[1357] Who the fuck would want to just keep doing it, though?

[1358] God.

[1359] It's hard because, you know, you would survive, man. It's like when you watch Lost.

[1360] It all makes sense.

[1361] They crash on this plane.

[1362] They crash their plane on this island.

[1363] The survivors learn how to eat coconuts.

[1364] and this is what we do.

[1365] Now our society is here.

[1366] This is where we live now.

[1367] You know, I mean, it makes sense.

[1368] That's what you do.

[1369] It's what you would do, too.

[1370] You would form some new society and new culture in the woods, you know?

[1371] And you would figure out how to fucking use coconuts to go retrieve water from the little fountain.

[1372] You know, fuck, this is what we do now.

[1373] You would do it until you died, you know, because the alternative is like, what are you going to do?

[1374] You're going to commit suicide, get to the highest cliff and drop down and bash your head on the rocks because you can't handle what thousands of years of people have handled before you?

[1375] It may not be, like, I don't, I don't have, like, I can't get sun tan.

[1376] I'll burn.

[1377] So, like, I have two days of bad sunburn.

[1378] Redizzi's Italian, though.

[1379] Yeah, but I'm half Irish.

[1380] The Irish is dominated?

[1381] I burn, I burn, dude.

[1382] So I'm going to have, I know, like, in my mind, I'm like, yeah, we'll figure it out, but I got a week of fucking sunburn ahead of me. I'm like, you know, like, you got to stay in the sun.

[1383] Where you get, you know?

[1384] White poop all over you or something.

[1385] It's weird how human beings have evolved to different climates.

[1386] Like, if you go to Ireland, everyone in Ireland is white.

[1387] paper.

[1388] They're white as fuck because it's rainy all the time and they don't have to deal with the clouds.

[1389] They don't have to deal with the sun.

[1390] No. Like sicky teas.

[1391] Yeah.

[1392] But then, you know, when you get a place like America that's like this weird melting pot and people, their genetics have come from all these different places.

[1393] And now all of a sudden they're in some strange environments where you got like blonde people in Phoenix.

[1394] You know, if you're a blonde person living in Phoenix, Arizona, you got exactly 10 hours every year of being in the sun getting baked down before you start developing cancer.

[1395] Yep.

[1396] You know, you better, you get 365 days of the year, and out of those days, you've got about 10 hours where maybe if you ration it off over the course of a year, you can survive being outside.

[1397] But if you want to be some sort of a fucking farmer, or if you like fishing and your arms are always outside in the sun, you're going to develop some weird shit on your arms.

[1398] I know.

[1399] You know, there's radiation.

[1400] I've seen, like, I've been, like, on boats before, like fishing me and talking about, like that dudes that look like me, but just, like when they take their shirt up but like their arms and their face is just like a fucking leather bags?

[1401] Yeah, dude, yeah, a thousand years old.

[1402] Being in the sun all the time is terrible for you.

[1403] It's weird.

[1404] It's like this giant nuclear explosion.

[1405] It's millions of miles away.

[1406] It keeps us alive, but it also wants to kill us.

[1407] Yeah, we need it, but it wants us to die.

[1408] And if we move just a little bit too far away from it, we freeze to death, a little bit too close and all the water evaporates and we cook.

[1409] You know, it's like the delicate balance.

[1410] You know, the only reason, why we're able to live on this planet and this environment is stable at all, it's because our moon.

[1411] Because our moon is so large, our moon is one quarter of the size of the Earth, and it's in, you know, a stationary orbit, and it keeps our orbit stationary.

[1412] It's gravity interacts with our gravity, and it keeps us in a stable path where every year, you know, it doesn't get too cold and it doesn't get too hot.

[1413] It doesn't vary too much.

[1414] But other planets, some planets have elliptical orbits where their distance between the sun and...

[1415] Changes rapidly.

[1416] Yeah, radically.

[1417] You know?

[1418] And it's also like the angle that you turn.

[1419] Like the moon doesn't turn.

[1420] The moon is, it follows us the same face faces us all the time.

[1421] You know, it spins around with us, but it spins around with us with the same look.

[1422] Whereas other planets spin.

[1423] Yeah.

[1424] You know, they spin and they have crazy orbits.

[1425] Like, if you look at the orbits, we would think that orbits would all be circular, but they're not.

[1426] Like, I'm just, I just started realizing this when I started studying this when I started studying all the Zacharias Hitchin stuff.

[1427] We started talking about Nubiru, the ancient Sumerians are the oldest known civilization as far as written language and mathematics.

[1428] They talked, according to this Zechariahistich guy, a lot of people have doubted what he says and have contradicted him.

[1429] But he said that there was a planet that was 3 ,600 miles away.

[1430] Every 3 ,600 years, this planet that's on this crazy elliptical orbit comes between Mars and Jupiter.

[1431] and that there's and I thought about this and I was like are planets elliptical like what the is that even possible that something would and if you won't know what elliptical is elliptical is like NASCAR instead of a circle you know it's like a long it's an oval yeah like an oval well apparently there's a lot of planets that are elliptical a lot and binary star systems there's a lot of binary star systems too and that's one of the things they think that they suspect might be outside of Pluto like there's all this speculation lately about there's something wrong with the moon's gravity and the way the moon's orbit is that it's reflective of some larger body in the solar system.

[1432] And there's also a lot of evidence of something called the galactic shelf and the Kuiper Belt and all these asteroids that are on the real outskirts of our solar system, like outside of Pluto.

[1433] Apparently there's like a big drop -off and they're really quite sure that there's some large body out there.

[1434] And it's probably four times the size of Jupiter at least.

[1435] And Jupiter is full.

[1436] fucking enormous.

[1437] So they think that this might be a brown dwarf star, that we might actually have a binary star system, but that this other star is way the fuck out there.

[1438] And it's like, it's a brown dwarf.

[1439] And I guess you can't see them that well.

[1440] I guess it's very difficult to figure out where the fuck it is and spot it, and they haven't been able to locate it yet.

[1441] But there's so little we know about this whole fucking thing that we live in.

[1442] Look how long it's been.

[1443] And look how we haven't even, you know, we haven't said them human to Mars.

[1444] yeah that's that's technically if you look at the whole thing it's like our backs we haven't even gone off our back porch yet not even into the fucking backyard or the pool or wherever yeah and you know and most people believe we went in the moon i'm skeptical still but and that sounds ridiculous to say but we haven't been back since 1972 you know and i know people say so what's the funding it's it seems to me like there's some fucking shenanigans going on i've i've looked very very closely at the whole moon landing thing and it's a ridiculous subject to bring up because even me saying it, and hearing my own voice questioning it, I sound like a retard.

[1445] I sound like a retard to me. But I still can't buy it 100%.

[1446] I just don't.

[1447] 1969 and 1972, there were seven trips, six successful.

[1448] It's the only time in human history that humans have been above 400 miles of the Earth's surface, only the Apollo missions, the Apollo missions before that as well.

[1449] No biological entity from the United States ever went into space and came back alive except humans.

[1450] We never even sent a chicken around the moon to see if it survives.

[1451] We just threw them out into deep space and threw them out into extreme radiation and they returned successfully every single time.

[1452] And yet we haven't been able to go back since 1972.

[1453] Every other man -made or a manned mission from that point on has only been up to 400 miles, like under 400 miles of the Earth's surface.

[1454] They went 260 ,000 miles out and back.

[1455] They did it in 72, man, 69 to 72.

[1456] And people will say all kinds of things.

[1457] The Soviets could have, you know, they would have pulled the trigger and told on us if that was the case?

[1458] Maybe.

[1459] But who the fuck knows what kind of weird shit goes on when people are actually running countries?

[1460] Who knows what kind of deals they have?

[1461] WikiLeaks.

[1462] Yeah, exactly.

[1463] He knows.

[1464] He might know.

[1465] He knows now.

[1466] There was no WikiLeaks in 69.

[1467] He would have said it, though, if he knows, right?

[1468] He would have leaked that.

[1469] Yeah, but why would that be in WikiLeaks?

[1470] I mean, who the fuck needs to know if they actually fake the moon landing?

[1471] Who needs to know?

[1472] A few people, you know?

[1473] You know, like...

[1474] Everyone in the space station?

[1475] What the fuck is the guy that made 2001 a Space Odyssey?

[1476] Oh, um, Kubrick?

[1477] Stanley Kubrick, yeah.

[1478] That was the number one conspirator, speculative guy that they said that Kubrick was probably in on it, and that he, you know, because of, he had a relationship with NASA, NASA came to him for some things.

[1479] He borrowed the cameras from it or something like that, if I remember.

[1480] It's a total retard argument.

[1481] I understand, folks.

[1482] And if you hear it listening, you go, fucking Rogan, man, I'm unfollow on Twitter.

[1483] I'm no longer a fan.

[1484] You question the moon, we were there, and I was a proud American.

[1485] First of all, it's not we.

[1486] It's got nothing to do with being a proud American.

[1487] It's not nothing to do with us.

[1488] This is us in 1969 is not you, dude.

[1489] Those are different human beings.

[1490] Maybe we did go.

[1491] It's very possible that we did go.

[1492] Or it's very possible that the whole thing was a fucking hoax.

[1493] I think we went, but...

[1494] I think it's possible.

[1495] I wouldn't be shocked.

[1496] But I've talked to people that really truly believe that we went and it sounds to me a lot like religion.

[1497] They're not willing to, they're not willing to question it.

[1498] They keep saying what are the odds?

[1499] It's impossible to fake this.

[1500] Look, they faked a lot of shit.

[1501] They fake the Gulf of Tonkin incident that got us into the Vietnam War.

[1502] They were going to fake Operation Northwoods.

[1503] They're going to blow up civilian airliners and blame it on the Cubans to get us to go to war with Cuba.

[1504] They were going to arm Cuban friendlies and attack Guantanamo Bay.

[1505] This is all shit that was, this is not Alex Jones, ladies you gentlemen.

[1506] Black helicopters.

[1507] This is real shit.

[1508] This is not.

[1509] I'm not making this up.

[1510] This is all freedom of information stuff.

[1511] And here's a quote, and this is the last thing I'm going to say on it, because this is right out of Bill Clinton's book.

[1512] Bill Clinton wrote this.

[1513] Just a month before Apollo 11 astronauts, Buzz Aldrin, and Neil Armstrong, had left their colleague Michael Collins aboard spaceship Columbia and walked on the moon, beating by five months President Kennedy's goal of putting a man on the moon before the decade was out.

[1514] The old carpenter asked me if I really believed it happened.

[1515] I said, sure, I saw it on television.

[1516] He disagreed.

[1517] he said that he didn't believe it for a minute that them television fellers could make things look real that weren't back then I thought he was a crank during my eight years in Washington I saw some things on TV that made me wonder if he wasn't ahead of his time that's Bill fucking Clinton Bill fucking Clinton but what does it mean?

[1518] It might mean that he's just saying that people are full of shit yeah or it might mean that he just questioned the moon landing he just said that that guy might have been ahead of his time it is quite possible.

[1519] Look, if you were the president and you found that people really didn't go to the moon, you can't tell.

[1520] You can't just come out and say that.

[1521] And this is about as as transparent as you can get by saying that we didn't go to the moon and putting it in a book.

[1522] I'd love to ask him about that quote.

[1523] He wouldn't tell you shit.

[1524] He would say, who are you?

[1525] No one will ever ask him about that one quote.

[1526] Somebody needs to just ask him about that one quote.

[1527] Who's ever going to get that chance?

[1528] I'm sure a lot of people now.

[1529] He's probably hanging out.

[1530] He's probably got Twitter.

[1531] He doesn't ask those questions.

[1532] I say the most likely scenario is that the moon landings were real and that people look for a conspiracy and everything.

[1533] And if you look close enough at anything, you can start to convince yourself that it's a hoax.

[1534] That is absolutely possible.

[1535] It's also possible they fake the whole fucking thing.

[1536] It is possible that they murdered Gus Grisham.

[1537] He was the guy that was the fucking astronaut in the Apollo 1.

[1538] He was the guy that died in the simulator, burnt to death with two other people.

[1539] That guy was questioning whether or not they're going to be able to get to it left and right.

[1540] He actually hung a lemon on the simulator.

[1541] And when he was doing interviews with a reporter to tell people that this is a lemon.

[1542] And this fucking tower that's, you know, a half a mile away.

[1543] He goes, how the fuck are we going to talk to people when we're on the moon, 260 ,000 miles away?

[1544] That guy died, okay, and his family, to this day, I mean, maybe it's just his son that, you know, misses his daddy and believes in conspiracies too, but they believe that NASA murdered him.

[1545] There was also a guy, and his name was Thomas Ronald Barron, and he was hired by Congress.

[1546] He was a safety inspector.

[1547] He was hired by Congress to oversee NASA and look at the whole moon landing thing and see whether or not it's feasible.

[1548] Well, this guy put together this 500 -page report, and he questioned whether or not they were ever going to get to the moon.

[1549] He said NASA was in such complete disarray that he didn't think they were ever going to be able to do it.

[1550] That guy died a couple, I don't remember how long afterwards.

[1551] It was very close afterwards in his car parked on a train track with his whole family.

[1552] Parked his car on a train track and died when the train hit the car.

[1553] Really?

[1554] Yeah, which is, by the way, how they got rid of people in 1969, folks.

[1555] They killed Kennedy.

[1556] They can kill you too.

[1557] And if you think that you're going to go around undermining NASA's fake mission to the moon, well guess what?

[1558] We're going to park your car on a train track, and you know, you're going to disappear, and so is your little report, and oh, look, we're on the moon.

[1559] Crazy.

[1560] Who the fuck knows?

[1561] I don't know.

[1562] None of us do.

[1563] I'm certainly not claiming to be the possessor of some unattainable truth.

[1564] All I'm saying is, it is possible.

[1565] They could have pulled it off.

[1566] I firmly believe that with the insane budget they had operating, they could have pulled off almost anything short of faking Godzilla getting attacking to Tokyo.

[1567] Did you see that movie Wag the Dog?

[1568] Yes.

[1569] It's like they just came up with on the fly.

[1570] It was like with on the fly how Hoffman's character just was like, all right, and then we'll do this, we'll bring in this guy, and then we'll cast this guy.

[1571] That's a brilliant movie.

[1572] It was a really great movie.

[1573] And that is what they could do.

[1574] Look, who the fuck knows?

[1575] I know it's a retard, and I'm not married to this.

[1576] I swear to God I'm not.

[1577] I have two arguments on the air, on the Penn and Teller show, on Penn Gillette, rather, Pend Gillette's radio show.

[1578] with this guy, Phil Plate, great guy, who's a, and he runs badastronomy .com, and I debated him about it, you know, and I thought he was going to clown me. And he kind of did, in some ways, in the first one, because he was, he kind of corrected me on some things and made me, like, really kind of see where he was coming from.

[1579] But also, he was, like, not willing to look at the possibility that was fake.

[1580] I said, you have to look at things from both sides before you form a belief in it.

[1581] You have to.

[1582] You have to look at it from both sides before you choose what side you believe.

[1583] Yeah, but he's always going to believe in the side of science.

[1584] He's a scientist, and he's an astronomer, and it makes sense to me. But when I was talking to him about certain things, man, one of them was they had some photos that they took, the Clementine Lunar Orbiter, and they took these photos of the launch sites, and they had these little specks that were on the ground, and they said that this is like infrared photos from 30 miles up or whatever the fuck it was, 300 miles up, whatever the satellite is, how far away it is from the moon, and that these are photos, and they show the landing site, because it's like a blast crater from when the thing took off.

[1585] And I'm like, how is that possible that you're accepting that that is the photo of the launch site?

[1586] When if you look at the launch site in those high resolution close up photos, there's no disturbance whatsoever.

[1587] There's one of the things that like all the hoaxers, all the people that think it's a hoax, that's what they always point to, that this 10 ,000 pounds of thrust would have blasted a fucking hole in the ground.

[1588] But meanwhile, when they landed, it was like, it was totally undisturbed.

[1589] Like, how are you going to get crystal clear, close up high resolution?

[1590] photos that show no disturbance but you're you're going to be able to see it from orbit miles above the earth you're going to be able to see this little tiny dot from 300 miles up that's craziness and he didn't have anything to say to that i was like you never considered that you never looked at these little craters and said how does that make sense how is that possible how many leaving people are still around that have been on the there's quite a few it's quite a few there's a bunch you know they're all squirrely man buzz aldrin you know there's some fascinating interviews with him, man. It's fascinating.

[1591] One of them with this guy who runs, he's got, he made the movie a funny thing happen on the way to the moon and he tells Buzz Aldrin that he's a liar and Buzz Alder punches him in the head.

[1592] Oh, yeah.

[1593] Which, by the way, rightly so.

[1594] Fuck you, man. Even if the guy did fucking fake the moon landing, what do you think is his idea?

[1595] You know, you don't think he got talked into doing that?

[1596] You don't think that maybe they had some fucking guns to his head?

[1597] Maybe they scared the shit out of him.

[1598] He became a massive alcoholic after he came back from the moon landings.

[1599] One of the weirdest thing about the moon landings.

[1600] and he says, you have to watch the post -flight press conference.

[1601] I am no science expert, but I am an expert in bullshit.

[1602] I know when people are lying.

[1603] I can fucking see it.

[1604] I can smell it.

[1605] And you can, too.

[1606] There's a weird thing with humans where we can tell when people are being deceptive.

[1607] And the video with them coming back from the moon, man, it seems like they're full of shit.

[1608] It doesn't seem like they're nervous.

[1609] They're definitely nervous, too, but it also seems like they're full of shit.

[1610] Buzz Aldrin and Michael Collins, they're just shitty actors, man. Was it like an open press conference where the Corps could ask?

[1611] One of them, they ask them, what was it like?

[1612] Did you see any stars when you're on the moon?

[1613] And Michael Collins says, I don't recall seeing any stars when I was on the moon.

[1614] I don't recall seeing any.

[1615] But meanwhile, he never left the command module in the story.

[1616] The narrative is that Buzz Aldrin and Neil Armstrong made it to the moon, but Michael Collins stayed in orbit.

[1617] He never went on the moon.

[1618] So they attributed that quote to Buzz Aldrin in the transcript because Michael Collins would never say it.

[1619] it's look it's all conspirator talk I know it is but there's enough shit there that makes me go I'm not willing to totally buy this I know it sounds ridiculous I know the arguments that you Occam's razor man most likely scenario you have to go with that one the most likely scenario is that we can't do it anymore because of budgetary reasons and this and that but there's never been a single technological achievement from 1969 that's not cheaper, easier or faster to reproduce today except for putting people on the moon that one is weird that one every time they talk about putting people back it's 2020 or 2020 but every president says they're going to do it George Herbert Walker Bush said he was going to do it Bill Clinton said he was going to do it George Bush said he was going to do it they all talked about putting people back in the moon could you imagine today if Barack Obama's like we have enough problems right fucking here yeah this is not the time to also do this it's also not the time to invade Pakistan it's not the time to be in Afghanistan it's the time to be concentrating on our own economy It's going to that scary shit, man. All of it's scary.

[1620] That Pakistan thing is because, you know, if you start with them, then that cuts off all support to Afghanistan, and it's like, now it's game on.

[1621] You want to fight three fucking problems?

[1622] You want to have three wars at one time?

[1623] And by the way, that's when Iran comes into the picture, too.

[1624] What I mean, there's all this talk about invading Iran.

[1625] What if Iran, you know, keeps up its military program, or it's a nuclear program, rather, and then we have to invade Iran.

[1626] Yeah, I don't know, man. My point about all this is that we don't know what the fuck the people who are quote -unquote running this world are doing.

[1627] We don't know what they're doing.

[1628] We assume that what they're telling us is what's really going on.

[1629] But they've been proven over and over again throughout history to be full of shit.

[1630] And they've even said they're going to be full of shit to protect us.

[1631] They've said that the CIA has come out.

[1632] It was mainstream news reported that they were going to start making artificial stores.

[1633] stories and putting them in the news to throw off the terrorists.

[1634] Well, when you start doing that, man, all bets are off.

[1635] You know, you start lying to everybody to protect us.

[1636] Like, Jesus, fucking Christ, where's the accountability?

[1637] When does this stop?

[1638] You know, why are we angry at the world?

[1639] Why is the world angry at us?

[1640] Why are we there?

[1641] Does this really have to be micromanaged?

[1642] Do we really have to manage all the people in the world and keep everybody under our thumb?

[1643] Are you sure?

[1644] Is it just because we've been doing it forever?

[1645] I mean, is there a better way to a better way to a problem?

[1646] approach this?

[1647] I just feel like right now with what is happening here and the sentiment that people feel about what's going on over in the Middle East, and they're taking, not that they're taking care of the business on their own, but you see things starting to play out where even in Egypt it's like they're handling, the up horizons are happening and they're not perfect, but things are getting sorted out on their own.

[1648] And for us to be there interfering or being the catalyst for those kinds of.

[1649] kind of things to happen is not a good idea well i think these uprisings you're knocking at the fucking hornets nest rather than just letting it be and letting them take care of themselves or take care of the situations that they're not happy about themselves yeah but i guess you gotta kind of keep dictators from rising up and just fucking up people too it's like because also when you get a but we don't do that we don't do that we do it we do it when it's but when they're our allies or they're our friends then we're then it's cool right this is the guy that runs the thing i know those problems, but there's always been problems.

[1650] He's our friend.

[1651] Wait, he's not our friend.

[1652] Fucking let's go.

[1653] Everyone in.

[1654] Get him in.

[1655] We've got to get him out.

[1656] We've got to get the next guy we can trust in there.

[1657] Right.

[1658] Like Egypt.

[1659] Exactly.

[1660] Yeah.

[1661] Yeah.

[1662] He moved.

[1663] And that's my fear about Pakistan now.

[1664] It's like we've been giving one and a half billion dollars a year for arms.

[1665] And it's like now, wait a second.

[1666] You've had this guy for five fucking years he's lived in this house.

[1667] Five fucking years.

[1668] 800 yards away from a military base?

[1669] You've got to be fucking kidding me, man. At some point, like, look, I'm not a cop, but I, you got, I mean, you got, you didn't know that was in your yard, no, sir.

[1670] Oh, and by the way, did you guys not, was an acre of heroin in you?

[1671] I heard he wasn't on dialysis either.

[1672] Did you hear about that?

[1673] Really?

[1674] There was no dialysis machine.

[1675] That's what I read, but there's, it's like, that's another thing we were told about, like, the dialysis thing and that he's he was almost an invalid, you know?

[1676] And it's like, this guy was fucking roaming around this house for five years, and nobody picked up on this?

[1677] Yeah, it's a very fantastic story.

[1678] And we talked about this yesterday and we said that if you had a movie and in the movie you wanted to have an ending where it could leave room for the sequel, this is the perfect ending.

[1679] You don't get to see the body.

[1680] They dump them in the ocean.

[1681] You know, what the fuck, man?

[1682] It's almost like they want people to get, even if they did have photos of them, no, let them fucking guess.

[1683] It keeps things interesting.

[1684] Keeps things humming along.

[1685] It keeps people distracted.

[1686] I want to see a fucking photo.

[1687] They showed Saddam.

[1688] I wanted to.

[1689] It showed them die.

[1690] They didn't just show them.

[1691] They showed video.

[1692] Why can't we have a little...

[1693] They showed Roshan Rondo's arm dislocated a thousand times on the news that night.

[1694] It was horrible to look at.

[1695] We can see a fucking photo of a...

[1696] You know, it's sort of like we've fought this, we've paid for this war for 10 years.

[1697] We've had so much fucking problems financially here.

[1698] We send troops over there.

[1699] They've died.

[1700] Let us see the fucking photo.

[1701] We paid for the shit.

[1702] I want to see the argument from not showing it.

[1703] I could see that it's going to make him a martyr.

[1704] I can see that it's going to make people, you know, in the militant movies.

[1705] movement, the Islamic militant movement, you know, they're going to use that as propaganda.

[1706] I can see that it's better to not show it.

[1707] When you're dealing with religious fanatics, it's better to just, if you really did have it, yeah, jump it in the ocean.

[1708] I'm not saying it's not the upper hand.

[1709] Or put it on ice where everybody can, like, the next president can come check it out.

[1710] I'm not saying it's not the high road.

[1711] It's the high road.

[1712] You're right.

[1713] It is the high road.

[1714] But I don't really know, I don't know if we're...

[1715] Even the high road.

[1716] I don't even think it's the high road.

[1717] I mean, I just think it's the smart road.

[1718] I think, you know, if you look at as far as benefit to, to, to, to, to, you know, to negative repercussions, you would have to say that the benefit would be, would lie in not stirring up more than possible.

[1719] If you've already killed the guy and you've got the, you know, you did the work, you did what the public wants you to do.

[1720] You got rid of public enemy number one.

[1721] You got rid of this guy.

[1722] You got his computers.

[1723] If that really happened the way they said it happened, yeah, what the fuck, man?

[1724] You don't have to show people the pictures.

[1725] You're protecting people.

[1726] You did your job.

[1727] If everybody is secure and all the people who are important, I've seen the photos, yeah, I mean, I don't think we all need to see it.

[1728] I don't think it needs to be distributed.

[1729] What if they said it's on this?

[1730] Doesn't mean that I don't want to see it.

[1731] It's on this website.

[1732] If you want to look at it, great.

[1733] If you don't, you don't.

[1734] No, that's not good because then the Islamic terrorists are going to be able to look at it.

[1735] They're going to look at it and they're going to go fucking crazy and there he is and oh, they strap themselves up with dynamite.

[1736] What if it's a private domain?

[1737] It's password protected.

[1738] You can't fucking get through.

[1739] You know a hacker will get it.

[1740] It's a password protected.

[1741] It'll be a couple months or a year and then a hacker's going to somehow hack somebody's computer that has it or do something.

[1742] There's going to be a weak.

[1743] Maybe if this happened 10 years ago, I would say definitely.

[1744] But I think now, I think probably not.

[1745] I think now they're probably pretty good at stopping shit like that from happening.

[1746] If it's all legit.

[1747] Wasn't the Pentagon just hacked like a couple months ago?

[1748] We had a Brian Callan on yesterday, and I love Brian's take on things because it's a very Fox News -like.

[1749] Yeah.

[1750] Right?

[1751] He's a, you know, he, by the way he grew up, and, you know, he's very, he believes that they're doing the right things.

[1752] And he believes that whatever, you know, the narrative is, that he follows whatever America is, reason why we're there in certain places and he doesn't believe in conspiracies.

[1753] But when you look at all the different goddamn stories like Pat Tillman, you know, how they tried to change that fucking story.

[1754] Oh, yeah.

[1755] And butcher that and he's killed by Friendly Fire and the Jessica Lynch story.

[1756] And these are just the ones that have blown up in our faces.

[1757] How many of these have they got away with?

[1758] How many stories that we think are history are just total complete horseshit, you know?

[1759] There's a lot.

[1760] A lot.

[1761] There's a fuckload, man. There's a, you know, I just, you got to be crazy to believe everything they say.

[1762] I'm not saying that you should believe in conspiracy theories, because a lot of them are just as nuts.

[1763] And by the way, some of the really nutty conspiracy theories, Garol, fucking T, those are put in place by the government to discredit conspiracy theories.

[1764] That's a tactic that's been used from the beginning of time.

[1765] That's what they do.

[1766] It's disinformation.

[1767] She put out disinformation.

[1768] They'll give you a bunch of good information, a bunch of things that make sense.

[1769] Like, they'll say that Lee Harvey Oswald did not act alone, and, you know, thought that he was, you know, doing this, but they had set him up and they really shot Kennedy with assassins that were set up in different parts of the grassy knoll and all throughout Dallas, Texas.

[1770] And the reason why they used Lee Harvey Oswald is because they needed him to die so that he could go through a wormhole to Alpha Centauri to bring back the master.

[1771] And the master is going to re -chained.

[1772] All they have to do is that.

[1773] And then all of a sudden that all the Lee Harvey -Oswole stuff is bullshit.

[1774] Now it's crazy.

[1775] You get people like, you can't say leave Harvey Oswald because then you're going to go to a fucking cell somewhere.

[1776] Exactly.

[1777] It's like try talking about UFOs.

[1778] Try talking about aliens.

[1779] Try talking about anything along those lines and you automatically get a label a kook.

[1780] Try talking about Bigfoot.

[1781] You're a fucking kook.

[1782] But meanwhile, Bigfoot might have very well existed.

[1783] There's an animal called a gigantopithecus.

[1784] It's a fucking huge, eight foot tall erect ape that lived in Asia and might very well have come across the Bering Strait.

[1785] Is it still alive now, probably not, but might have existed at one point in time.

[1786] It's a real animal.

[1787] They know what they think it might be, and it looks like Bigfoot.

[1788] So it did exist, and it existed just 100 ,000 years or so ago.

[1789] And there's been many, many instances of shit that they thought was long dead.

[1790] Like the Celacanth, it was a fish that's a goddamn prehistoric monster.

[1791] It's a fucking dinosaur.

[1792] Hundreds of millions of years old.

[1793] They thought this thing was long extinct until, I believe it was in 1930.

[1794] Someone caught one.

[1795] And they're like, whoa, these are a lot.

[1796] They're alive.

[1797] They're in the ocean.

[1798] Who the fuck knows what's in the Pacific Northwest?

[1799] Fly over that shit in an airplane.

[1800] I know.

[1801] I was just up in Kirkland, Washington, last weekend, or two weekends ago.

[1802] Fucking dense, dense forest, man. You're talking about millions of acres, millions of square miles probably.

[1803] How many square...

[1804] That's not true.

[1805] Thousands of square miles, though.

[1806] Square miles is a weird thing.

[1807] Like, there's a lot of footage in a square mile.

[1808] It's not like the distance between two points.

[1809] Yeah, well, how do you do it on a hill or something?

[1810] Millions of acres, for sure.

[1811] But whatever it is, when you find...

[1812] fly over it, you look at the density of the Pacific Northwest has legitimate rainforests where you can't see inside.

[1813] You don't know what the fuck is in there.

[1814] There's a lot of crazy shit in there.

[1815] Is there Bigfoot?

[1816] Probably not.

[1817] Probably not.

[1818] But I wouldn't be surprised if it is.

[1819] If they've caught Bigfoot, though, really, what is it?

[1820] It's just a big stupid monkey.

[1821] It wouldn't be any different than an orangutan.

[1822] I mean, it would be cool if it talked.

[1823] Yeah, if it talked and it had it dressed up in clothing.

[1824] If it was like, oh, you guys, congratulations.

[1825] Had a whole family.

[1826] Yeah.

[1827] Bigfoot's divorced.

[1828] It's got two kids he doesn't see.

[1829] You know, they didn't discover the mountain gorilla until 1902.

[1830] I just, you know when I discovered the mountain gorilla three seconds ago?

[1831] I know.

[1832] It's a giant -ass fucking huge gorilla.

[1833] It's a big -ass fucking gorilla.

[1834] I'm learning my son loves dinosaurs.

[1835] He's two and a half.

[1836] So we went to the Museum of Natural History in New York and just going, like, it's cool.

[1837] Like, I haven't been to museums.

[1838] I was a kid, really.

[1839] It's like going back now, you actually care and you're learning.

[1840] more like watching him and I together like oh shit this is fucking like I looked at a T -Rex it was fucking massive it's massive incredible the vertebrae on the T -Rex is bigger than my fucking forearm crazy yeah and they're they try to figure out what the fuck how the why the T -Rex was built like that too there's so much speculation like why this thing have these giant legs and these little tiny arms and could it run could that thing even run like this how fast If you look at Jurassic Park, they ran, remember?

[1841] They ran really fast.

[1842] Yeah.

[1843] But the speculation is that that's not possible.

[1844] And then there's other speculation by, you know, more fringe people that think that the atmosphere was different than, that it was a much denser atmosphere that it could carry your weight better or the gravity was lighter or something.

[1845] Well, I also think they were an unbelievable fight.

[1846] They never got off balance because their tail weighed almost as fresh as the front part.

[1847] So they were never, they could just lock those legs down and just move around and that you can really get them off balance.

[1848] This is also speculation that T -Rex was just a scavenger.

[1849] that those big teeth were just for breaking up bones and shit was dying left and right all over the place and they would just find it like a garbage disposal just eat whatever you look at like raptors would kill something and they would just go get out of here bitch that shit's mine and then they would be big and ugly and then there's even speculation about their coloring that their coloring would be very vulture -like and it's possible that they were like really hideous looking they were just giant garbage disposals it was still fun to see like all the just the gigantic massive fucking bones they had and stuff It's crazy.

[1850] What people don't realize, man, is that if this, I mean, that world that existed, you know, 65 million years ago before that giant meteor hit and killed all those dinosaurs, that world could easily be right now if that meteor didn't hit.

[1851] And there would be no people.

[1852] No. There would be nothing.

[1853] Those things like, the world that we have now is one of several mass extinction event worlds.

[1854] There's been several different ones along the lines, and this is the latest to survive the last mass extinction.

[1855] But they're all very different.

[1856] They're all very different There's very few animals that survive that The one that hit the Yucatan They say it was five miles long And that it was five miles deep into the earth In the first second and a half it hit Really?

[1857] Five miles in?

[1858] In a second and a half That's the first second and a half that it hit And that's not unusual That's happened a bunch of times Over the course of the history of the earth Yeah and it can happen man And there ain't shit to do about it Fuck Bruce Willis.

[1859] You can't shoot a rocket and land on that thing and deflect it.

[1860] I love that movie.

[1861] It was a great movie.

[1862] I love that movie.

[1863] If you're high and dumb.

[1864] He sucked.

[1865] I love that movie.

[1866] What was better, though?

[1867] That one or Deep Impact?

[1868] I like that movie because of Bouchemi.

[1869] I just love Bouchemmy how creepy and weird he was, just fucking the rocket.

[1870] I don't know.

[1871] Boucher just cracked me up.

[1872] I remember it had one of those really fucking lame arousmith, like, ballads.

[1873] Living on the edge.

[1874] No, not that.

[1875] It's weird to see Stephen Tyler, man It's weird to see him I mean, I don't hate the guy I'm a huge fan of his earlier stuff Oh, you're talking about American Idol?

[1876] Yeah, it's weird It's weird to see him on American Idol It's weird to see those ballads too Man, those movie Romantic movie ballads that they started producing That were just, you know You go back to like walk this way You know, you go back to some of their shit that they put out I mean, it was just some badass rock and roll man You know if Run DMC had to be talked to do and walk this way.

[1877] Really?

[1878] They were pissed.

[1879] They were like, we're fucking gangsters.

[1880] We don't want to fucking have a guitar in it.

[1881] It was like, then they got, I think it was Rev. Run did an interview.

[1882] He was like, then we got our first check.

[1883] We were like, fuck yeah.

[1884] Like Rick Ruben, they were like giving them high five.

[1885] They made like more money off their first check from Walk This Way than they had like their whole career put together.

[1886] Well, it was a good collaboration too.

[1887] It actually was one of the few that made both songs better.

[1888] Like that anthrax one too is pretty good.

[1889] Oh, with, uh.

[1890] with Run DMC?

[1891] Yeah.

[1892] I don't know that one.

[1893] What is that one?

[1894] Fuck, how does it go?

[1895] I remember the video.

[1896] Bring the noise.

[1897] Bring the noise.

[1898] Oh, yeah, that's right.

[1899] Turn up the trail.

[1900] Bring the noise.

[1901] Yeah, that was cool, man. When rappers, I mean, now the best things are mashups.

[1902] You know, and they're not really doing it, but there's someone else does it together.

[1903] We require DJs to do that now.

[1904] My favorite, man, is the Jimmy Hendrix one with Jay -Z.

[1905] 99 problems mixed with Voodoo Child.

[1906] Oh, really?

[1907] I haven't heard that one.

[1908] You never heard that one.

[1909] You never heard.

[1910] that?

[1911] That's my premier workout shit.

[1912] When I want to kick things, when I'm working out, and I want to kick it to the next level, I throw that on, because it's just a fucking jam.

[1913] Jimmy Hendrix guitar and that 99 problem song all jammed up into one song.

[1914] Fuck!

[1915] I'm going to go Google some mashup.

[1916] Google the shit out of that son.

[1917] Listen to some old school daft punk, too.

[1918] That shit's so awesome.

[1919] Like the guitar in that one song.

[1920] Daft punk.

[1921] What do they say?

[1922] Stronger, faster, better.

[1923] They do a lot of songs.

[1924] Oh, there's Somebody made a mashup of one of my rants from the podcast mixed with a daft punk song.

[1925] Yeah.

[1926] I mean, it's a lot of, like, mellow kind of, like, techno -type music, but then they have some just amazing songs.

[1927] And one of the songs, it's called, I think it's called Digital Love, but it has this awesome guitar solo in the middle of it.

[1928] It's just pretty badass.

[1929] I'm just like them going to, we're playing Bonneroo this year.

[1930] Who's we?

[1931] The league show.

[1932] We're going to do a league live show there.

[1933] What are you going to do?

[1934] How do you do that?

[1935] It's, they have a tent for comedy.

[1936] I think it's like, we're going, Lewis Black's going.

[1937] You know, so it's like one of the things.

[1938] We do like a show together or the four of us do stand up and stuff.

[1939] Oh, that's cool.

[1940] But, yeah, I mean, like, everyone's going to be there.

[1941] Eminem's going to be there, the Black Keys, Mumford and Sons.

[1942] Yeah, everyone, it's just going to be, it's, I hope it's, I mean, it's an like an hour outside of Nashville.

[1943] Dude, that sounds awesome.

[1944] Yeah, it's the biggest, it's, it's like Coachella, but just.

[1945] And they do a lot of stand -up at those, too, don't they?

[1946] So, yeah, this is my first experience with that.

[1947] I'm doing that, and then the next week I'm doing this country western, like, musical, festival thing.

[1948] Me and Jimmy Schubert and John Riepe.

[1949] Jimmy Schubert.

[1950] I'm like, this is going to be either the best slash worst weekend on my life.

[1951] I haven't seen Jimmy Schubert around in ages.

[1952] Yeah, I know.

[1953] It's great.

[1954] It's those guys, man. This is the core comedy store group.

[1955] I have a back in the day.

[1956] I have your advice on something.

[1957] I heard, I was listening to one of the podcasts.

[1958] you were talking about going through a period where you were on television and still doing stand -up but you felt old like your shit was getting old and you were getting tired of it and I've just recently gone through that or I think I'm coming out of it I'm not sure what how did you know you just was it a feeling you had and you're like I feel fucking fake right now yeah and then like how did you get yourself out of you just did you stop doing that shit just stop write new stuff right new stuff you gotta abandon the old material right new and you you know, if you haven't recorded it, just put it on a recording.

[1959] Make sure you do an album, do a CD, do a DVD, do something, but record it and move on.

[1960] Yeah.

[1961] Yeah, it's important, man. You know, I didn't do that nearly as much when I was younger, and I appreciate my act, and I appreciate the process a lot more now, and I don't take it for granted nearly as much now.

[1962] You know, before when my act was, like, just completely solid, and it was, you know, this is what I did for, you know, the next couple of years, and I really didn't add too much to it.

[1963] And so there was a period, in the 90s where I did that, where it just wasn't, standup wasn't the same thing as it is now.

[1964] Now standup is like this living thing that's constantly changing and evolving and I can't wait to get rid of my material to come out with new shit.

[1965] It's scary.

[1966] It's scary.

[1967] It's scary to abandon, you know, you know you have bits that are just proven gems.

[1968] I know.

[1969] It's tough to let those fucking bits go.

[1970] It's tough.

[1971] You got to, though, dude.

[1972] You got to.

[1973] I have hours of those things just laying around that I don't even remember anymore.

[1974] They're not even mine anymore.

[1975] They're the ethers.

[1976] They're peoples.

[1977] They're my fans stuff, you know.

[1978] Like the Anna Nicole Smith, I don't know how to do that anymore.

[1979] You know, the Tiger's fucking bit, I don't know how to do that.

[1980] Hugh Heffner bit, I don't know how to do that.

[1981] Really?

[1982] Those bits are gone.

[1983] I don't know how to do them anymore.

[1984] Do people shout out?

[1985] Like, very rarely the old ones.

[1986] It's more of the new ones now.

[1987] You pull Noah's Ark out of the balloon pretty well.

[1988] That's because I was high as fuck, son.

[1989] I was tuned into the ether.

[1990] So again, this weekend, Sam Tripoli and Tom Segora and me at Cobbs Comedy Club, Thursday, Friday.

[1991] and Saturday.

[1992] I believe Saturday sold out.

[1993] I'm not sure.

[1994] I think most of the shows are almost sold out, so there's not much left.

[1995] And we are doing Sal's Comedy Hole Wednesday, tomorrow night at 8 p .m. What are you doing tomorrow night?

[1996] You're around?

[1997] No, I'm going to Vegas.

[1998] Powerful Vegas.

[1999] What are you doing?

[2000] I got a bachelor party I'm going to for the three or four days, yeah.

[2001] Stay safe, son.

[2002] Don't do anything crazy.

[2003] Yeah, relaxing, getting older.

[2004] So that's it.

[2005] We will be back tomorrow.

[2006] Tomorrow we got Doug Benson with us.

[2007] Is there any other gigs?

[2008] You want to plug?

[2009] I'm doing with Brian Callan, the Recker Theater.

[2010] Where's that?

[2011] In Baltimore, Memorial Day weekend.

[2012] Saturday night, we're doing two shows at the theater.

[2013] Me and Brian Callan.

[2014] Nice.

[2015] And then not this weekend, but next weekend, I'm in Philadelphia at Helium Comedy Club.

[2016] How do you and Brian do that?

[2017] Do you do like a code...

[2018] We haven't done it together yet.

[2019] Yeah, we haven't done it.

[2020] Who organized this?

[2021] Our agent, we have the same...

[2022] Sorry, they sent this out and do it together.

[2023] So you just flip a coin, like you open one, he'll open the other?

[2024] I think that's how we'll do it.

[2025] I haven't talked to Brian about it, but I've...

[2026] figure that's how we'll do it powerful powerful okay that's it ladies and gentlemen we'll be back tomorrow with uh Doug benson and uh thank you again to the fleshlight if you go to jo rogan click on the link for the fleshlight enter in the code name rogan and you will save 15 % off the number one six toy for man oh shit and i got one for steve run as easy oh yeah and uh that's it all right follow steve on twitter oh this is a tough one ready for this steve now here it's ran uh z z z z So there's almost a Nazi in there, but there's two Z's.

[2027] It's Steve and then R -A -N -N -A -Z -Z -I -S -I.

[2028] Learn it.

[2029] You need to change that.

[2030] Why don't you just change it?

[2031] No way.

[2032] I'm too deep now.

[2033] I'm too far in.

[2034] He's too far in.

[2035] I'm in the grid.

[2036] It's fucking with your Twitter counts, though, I guarantee you.

[2037] Oh, I'm sure it is.

[2038] It took me like 10 minutes to figure out how to spell.

[2039] Yeah, you know what I did?

[2040] Work.

[2041] On the Twitter page, if you put it in the at sign and then start Steve, it shows me all the Steve that I have.

[2042] really in the r and then it showed me you as an option i'm like yes there it is thank god otherwise you'd been like fuck it i'm on the show at three o 'clock yeah thank you everybody and uh we'll see you tomorrow love you bitches