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[0] This is exactly right.
[1] Hey, this is exciting.
[2] An all -new season of only murders in the building is coming to Hulu on August 27th.
[3] Steve Martin, Martin Short, and Selena Gomez are back as your favorite podcaster, detectives.
[4] But there's a mystery hanging over everyone.
[5] Who killed Saz?
[6] And were they really after Charles?
[7] Why would someone want to kill Charles?
[8] This season, murder hits close to home.
[9] With a threat against one of their own, the stakes are higher than ever.
[10] Plus, the gang is going to Hollywood to turn their podcast into a major movie.
[11] Amid the glitz and glamour of Los Angeles, more mysteries and twists arise.
[12] Who knows what will happen once the cameras start to roll?
[13] Get ready for the stariest season yet with Merrill Streep, Zach Alfinacus, Eugene Levy, Eva Longoria, Melissa McCarthy, DeVey, Melissa McCarthy, DeVine, Joy Randolph, Molly Shannon, and more.
[14] Only Murders in the Building, premieres August 27th, streaming only on Hulu.
[15] Goodbye.
[16] Hi.
[17] Hi, welcome to my favorite murder, the minisode.
[18] This is your hometown episode.
[19] where we read you the hometown murders that you remember and you know and hate and send them to us at my favorite murder at jmail .com.
[20] That's right.
[21] Are you ready to go?
[22] Are you ready?
[23] Let's read your stories back to you.
[24] Do you want to go first?
[25] No, you go first.
[26] Okay.
[27] This was, the title is my grandfather was on Unsolved Mysteries.
[28] Hello there.
[29] My maternal grandfather, James Riley Hill, was in the Navy and flew blimps in World War II.
[30] Oh.
[31] In San Francisco in August 16th, 142, 27 -year -old Lieutenant Ernest DeWitt Cody and 34 -year -old in sign Charles Ellis Adams were to fly Flight 101 to patrol the California Coast for Japanese submarines.
[32] My grandfather, who was 20 years old at the time, was supposed to fly with them that morning.
[33] But for some unknown reason, he was called off the blimp.
[34] An hour and a half after takeoff, Lieutenant Cody radioed squadron headquarters reporting an oil slick on the water.
[35] That was the last contact ever received from Flight 101.
[36] Three hours later, the blimp was seen eight miles off the coast over Daly City, which is right next to Santa Francisco.
[37] The blimp crashed in the middle of the street empty.
[38] The blimp was empty.
[39] My grandfather said the ignition switch was still on.
[40] The radio was still on and working.
[41] Nobody had touched the fuel valves, and they were set up just the way I'd left them.
[42] We still had another six hours of fuel.
[43] There were tons of theories from UFOs to being kidnapped by Japanese, to them having a fight and tumbling out, but they were never found.
[44] That must have been quite a spooky sight, though, an empty blimp just drifting over the city.
[45] In 1992, on season five, episode 24, my grandfather appeared on Unsolved Mysteries to tell his story.
[46] It was amazingly cool.
[47] They get flown to the shooting.
[48] They got flown to the shooting.
[49] and put up in a hotel.
[50] My grandmother said that Robert Stack was very handsome.
[51] Yes.
[52] I showed the episode of my fifth grade class, and I remember a girl saying, if he would have gotten on the blimp, you would have never been born.
[53] It blew my mind.
[54] Well, fifth grader.
[55] On a side note, one night my mom and I got drunk on whiskey and read a bunch of letters that my grandfather and grandmother had written to each other when they were barely out of their teens and my grandfather was in the war.
[56] They were incredibly touching and adorable.
[57] They were married for 57 years.
[58] my grandfather passed away in 2001 and my grandmother in 2005.
[59] Thank you guys so much for the great podcast and I can't wait to see you guys someday in Atlanta.
[60] We have a great MFM group here, Christian.
[61] I've seen that episode of Unsolved Mysteries.
[62] I definitely remember it from childhood.
[63] Because they reenact the theory of them fighting their way out and falling into the ocean.
[64] I don't remember that.
[65] Which is so unlike, let's say that it's unlikely or whatever, but it's like, I totally remember that specific reign act.
[66] Because they would have found the bodies if it was right off the coast, probably.
[67] Sharks.
[68] Maybe.
[69] Sharks, maybe?
[70] I believe UFOs before tumbling out of the cockpit.
[71] I mean, the UFO idea is fascinating, but.
[72] Yeah.
[73] Even the Japanese thing is interesting.
[74] I think it was Kristen, and I just want to clear.
[75] It was the person's name was Kristen.
[76] Oh, okay.
[77] Okay.
[78] Thank you, Kristen.
[79] Thank you.
[80] Kristen.
[81] Cheers to your grandparents.
[82] I know.
[83] And them being born.
[84] Yeah.
[85] Okay.
[86] Okay.
[87] Um, okay.
[88] This, the headline is, or the subject line is, my hometown story is essentially the plot of the movie never been kissed, but with fake British royalty and a sex offender.
[89] Okay.
[90] Hello, humans and animal friends.
[91] MFM is bomb and I love you all.
[92] I'm coming to the live Minneapolis show in October and I'm losing my fucking mind with excitement.
[93] My hometown story does not include murder, but it does include a pile of human garbage who briefly attended my high school.
[94] Awesome.
[95] I grew up in a small town called Stillwater, 30 minutes outside of Minneapolis.
[96] If you like beautiful, scenery, creepy antiques, and old -fashioned candy stores, you should visit one year in Minnesota.
[97] Yes.
[98] Yes.
[99] All of those things.
[100] All of it.
[101] In 2006, when I was a freshman in high school, an upperclassman started bringing an exciting new MySpace friend to school with him.
[102] This friend spoke in a British accent and introduced himself as Caspian James Crichton -Stewart the Fourth.
[103] made up.
[104] That's like only a high school a high schooler would be like, yeah, that's definitely your name.
[105] More names.
[106] Yeah.
[107] More names.
[108] And I actually hadn't finished.
[109] It's Caspian James Crichton Dash Stewart the fourth comma, fifth Duke of Cleveland.
[110] So that's he's fucking gilding the lily there.
[111] Jesus.
[112] He said he was doing his senior year in the States and was considering attending our high school.
[113] People were interested in him because he claimed it he was the 27th in line to the British throne.
[114] own and told stories about hanging out with Prince William and Prince Harry.
[115] Even though he was pretty dushy from the start demanded that people call him your grace.
[116] No. Everyone was warm, friendly, and welcomed him into the school until things got capital, W -E -I -R -D -W -E -I -D weird.
[117] Oh, my God.
[118] In parentheses, er.
[119] The school newspaper began doing a story on him, and he gave information that didn't quite add up.
[120] NERDS.
[121] I love the nerds at the school newspaper.
[122] Investigative criminalism.
[123] Who the fuck is this guy?
[124] So they couldn't find anything about his lineage in the books on British nobility and the Wikipedia page about him was poorly written joker.
[125] The page listed someone named Joshua Gardner as a contributor and when the reporter started Googling his name they found photos of the Duke on a sex offender registry.
[126] No. He was a fully adult pervert posing as a Royal British Exchange student.
[127] presumably so he could pray on young teens oh my god so fucking gross and stupid luckily the student reporters were badasses and cracked the case right open before he had a chance to abuse anyone at our high school sdgm bye those motherfuckers what's the equivalent of the purple heart of the medal for high schoolers the purple the medal of honor um the high school medal of honor would probably be like a like a six pack of beer right and like like maybe a pack of um what's the acne medication that they sell on tv oh some well uh pro proactive proactive there we go thank you step in the millennial thank you steven a pack of proactive and a six pack of beer i mean that's incredible it's the best story of all time thank you for the internet wow also anyone who demands that you call him your grace yeah when he is trying to fucking fly by as 27th in the line to the throne of the British.
[128] Yeah, 27.
[129] Good luck becoming...
[130] Are you high?
[131] Yeah.
[132] You're so American.
[133] I wouldn't call fucking Prince William, your grace.
[134] You wouldn't?
[135] You're supposed to.
[136] Okay, I would.
[137] No, I would.
[138] You're right.
[139] I would.
[140] I'm being a badass.
[141] Not if he came to your school.
[142] Right.
[143] If I went to go meet him, but it was like, hey, what's up?
[144] He would be like, what's up?
[145] Yeah.
[146] There's no way he'd be like, stop you.
[147] Let me stop you right there.
[148] Right.
[149] If I met him on his grounds, I would call him whatever you're supposed to call him.
[150] You would call him whatever the person that whispered in your ear before you actually walked up to him.
[151] Right.
[152] They tell you what's saying.
[153] Curtsy, call him John.
[154] Then I'd be like, I only high five, though.
[155] You'd be like, please don't high five.
[156] Please.
[157] We had a terrible problem about that earlier.
[158] Okay.
[159] This one, this one's sweet in a fucked up way, but I love it.
[160] Steven, on point stories that you've provided me with this week.
[161] all right this one's called you've got a fan in prison it's my dad oh really sweet is this about us what do you mean oh are they talking to us when they say that yeah you've got a fan in prison karen and georgia sometimes that's about other people it's my dad okay hey fam that's us just wanted to share a sweet note of thanks that let you know one of the many ways you have both impacted me my dad is currently in south dakota state penitentiary awaiting sentences and a transfer to a federal pen in November.
[162] It's not murder, rather a second drug offense.
[163] And then in parentheses, addictions are a real bummer.
[164] Yeah.
[165] But earlier this summer, we spent some time trying to get to know each other better.
[166] I'm 35.
[167] He'll be sentenced on my 36th birthday.
[168] Cool.
[169] And he hasn't been a part of my life, really, since I was 15 or 16.
[170] Again, drugs are a bummer.
[171] So I told him I spent a lot of time listening to your podcast and he wrote down the name.
[172] He figured out how to download and listen.
[173] and when I spoke to him for the first time today in a few months, relieved he wasn't dead in a ditch just in prison.
[174] And the first thing he said was, Kiddo, I listen to my favorite murder.
[175] Those are some righteous, badass ladies.
[176] No. Yeah.
[177] He enjoys the foul language, back and forth banter, and the way you empower women, especially me. He's getting a tablet soon and then wrote, prison is crazy now, and we'll be able to listen more.
[178] Anyway, thanks for doing what you do.
[179] mean so much to so many of us.
[180] If you're ever in Richmond, Virginia, I'd love to say thank you in person.
[181] I thought that said in prison.
[182] There's a beautiful historic theater here called The Bird, and I can totally picture y 'all at the second act after the old -timey Oregon player performs.
[183] Yes.
[184] X .O. Kelsey.
[185] Kelsey.
[186] That is so, first of all, it's so touching.
[187] Yeah.
[188] When your dad makes the effort to look into your dumb interest, like, it is so touching and is such a good sign of a good dad that really cares about you.
[189] That's the only, that's the way you show people you care about them.
[190] He's trying interest in them.
[191] It's incredible too that thought of like how happy she was to be able to talk to her dad again in a couple months knowing he's safe in prison.
[192] Yeah.
[193] And not years and probably years of thinking he was dead in a ditch.
[194] And that's the next time she was going to hear about him.
[195] It's so awful.
[196] But I love that he thinks for righteous, badass.
[197] I mean, and also, just that he's, I don't know, but he's, in whatever journey he's on, he's staying connected to a person that means a lot to him, which is his own daughter.
[198] And she's letting him.
[199] And she's letting him.
[200] Beautiful.
[201] It's really lovely.
[202] It's two people, you and I who have connections with our dads, it's nice to hear stuff like that.
[203] Yes, it's beautiful.
[204] Yeah.
[205] And it's cool.
[206] I have to say it kind of, I kind of think it's cool.
[207] It kind of gives us so much credibility.
[208] I mean, thank you, Kelsey.
[209] Thanks, Kelsey.
[210] That was a That's a lovely thing to share.
[211] I hope he hears this and we say, you got this, dude.
[212] Come on, keep it up.
[213] Keep it up.
[214] Keep it up.
[215] Keep on, keep it on.
[216] Hey, this is exciting.
[217] An all new season of only murders in the building is coming to Hulu on August 27th.
[218] Steve Martin, Martin Short, and Selena Gomez are back as your favorite podcaster, detectives.
[219] But there's a mystery hanging over everyone.
[220] Who killed Saz?
[221] And were they really after Charles?
[222] Why would someone want to kill Charles?
[223] This season, murder hits close to home with a threat against one of their.
[224] own, the stakes are higher than ever.
[225] Plus, the gang is going to Hollywood to turn their podcast into a major movie.
[226] Amid the glitz and glamour of Los Angeles, more mysteries and twists arise.
[227] Who knows what'll happen once the cameras start to roll?
[228] Get ready for the stariest season yet with Merrill Streep, Zach Alfenakis, Eugene Levy, Eva Longoria, Melissa McCarthy, DeVine, Joy Randolph, Molly Shannon, and more.
[229] Only Martyrs in the Building, premieres August 27th, streaming only on Hulu.
[230] Bye.
[231] Right.
[232] Karen, you know I'm all about vintage shopping.
[233] Absolutely.
[234] And when you say vintage, you mean when you physically drive to a store and actually purchase something with cash.
[235] Exactly.
[236] And if you're a small business owner, you might know Shopify is great for online sales.
[237] But did you know that they also power in person sales?
[238] That's right.
[239] Shopify is the sound of selling everywhere, online, in store, on social media, and beyond.
[240] Give your point of sales system a serious upgrade with Shopify.
[241] From accepting payments, to managing inventory, they have everything you need to sell in person.
[242] So give your point of sale system a serious upgrade with Shopify.
[243] Their sleek, reliable POS hardware takes every major payment method and looks fabulous at the same time.
[244] With Shopify, we have a powerful partner for managing our sales, and if you're a business owner, you can too.
[245] Connect with customers in line and online.
[246] Do retail right with Shopify.
[247] Sign up for a $1 per month trial period at Shopify .com slash murder.
[248] Important note, that promo code is all lowercase.
[249] Go to Shopify .com slash murder to take your retail business to the next level today.
[250] That's Shopify .com slash murder.
[251] Goodbye.
[252] This subject line is my granny helped me solve a kidnapping.
[253] Dear Karen, Georgia, Stephen and all the fur babies.
[254] I got to say it.
[255] Fucking, I. Fair, fur babies.
[256] Canna, am I allowed to say I hate fur babies?
[257] Oh, yeah.
[258] Yeah, you don't, yeah, you just, fur babies is, uh, I mean, I get, people like it.
[259] It's like women who call, mothers who call themselves mama.
[260] Like, this mama is super fierce.
[261] I hate that.
[262] You know, it's like, that's what, that's what, like, the millennialsals, millennial mothers on, who are in, on YouTube, on, like, on Instagram, call themselves.
[263] Oh, okay.
[264] Like, this is a fierce mama right here, or Mama Bear.
[265] They call themselves, like, sorry.
[266] Jesus Christ.
[267] I mean.
[268] For babies and mama.
[269] We all have our things.
[270] Okay.
[271] So this is, I don't, that's right.
[272] I don't have a hometown murder.
[273] But I do have this weird -ass tale to tell.
[274] So about eight years ago, I moved to the USA to work as an opair in Florida for a single dad and his 11 -month -old twins.
[275] Their mom had died giving birth, and he had struggled without family support around.
[276] He was such a lovely guy.
[277] He worked super long hours, but he was always excited to come home to his kids, and he used to joke that he'd hired a Scottish opair because his wife had also been from Scotland, and he hoped maybe the babies would have their accent.
[278] Flags, flags, flags.
[279] So many flags.
[280] Let's list the flags.
[281] I honestly loved working for him, so much so that I decided to extend my one -year visa and return to the UK before Christmas to break the news to my parents and to catch up with my friends.
[282] However, almost as soon as I was on Scottish soil, I got the flu, the proper I feel like I'm a death's door flu, and I went straight to bed.
[283] My granny couldn't wait for me to be well to visit and called around a few days later with Urn Brew, which is a Scottish soda known to cure hangovers, and a pile of old lady.
[284] magazines you know the kind that have all those trashy true crime cheating husbands ghost stories in them yes i start to leaf through one no stumble across a picture of my twins the article is about a woman who whose estranged husband had taken their two month old babies out for the day and never brought them back what in the fucking shit are the goddamn chances she knew they were likely in the USA but had no clue where i became so hysterical crying that my mom Mom came in to investigate, but blamed my being delirious with the flu and tried to convince me that, of course, I hadn't been living with and working for a kidnapper.
[285] Bullshit, Mom.
[286] However, after showing her photographs of the now 21 -month -olds, I eventually convinced her to phone the police.
[287] It took several weeks, but the man that I'd been working for was arrested for breaching a protection order, and the children were returned to their mother in the UK.
[288] looking back there are a few things that stick out like the lack of family around and the fact that the kids never went to the doctor and that one time we drove to new york instead of flying but otherwise i swear he seemed super super normal oh my god sSDGM meg meg that's not i want to see i wish we had gotten her on stage to tell that because i want to talk to her so bad that she is i mean that's a hometown right there dude she's right in the center do you guys have something like that doesn't have to be a murder it doesn't have to be a murder but a fun reveal yeah things like that where you think things are one way and then boom how a year it's not even like a month that she was living there and then left it's like and then what are the chances that grandma like she got sick so that she could get these magazines from her grandma who wanted to make her who was excited like this is this is the lord in action i tell you about jesus christ your personal savior don't listen to me i listen now i believe you I mean, I guess that kids wouldn't have been kidnapped to begin with if Jesus Christ.
[289] He wasn't in Scotland.
[290] He was out of the country.
[291] Everyone knows he's only in America.
[292] But we only, but he only.
[293] We should cut all of that out.
[294] I mean.
[295] But don't.
[296] Can I just say one thing?
[297] I finished my last New Zealand candy bar.
[298] Thank God.
[299] I left mine in my rental car.
[300] What?
[301] No, but they have them there for me. They have them there for me. You got so much.
[302] Are you crazy?
[303] No, they have them there for me. I had a pistachio, no, no, a hazelnut one that is the best thing I've ever tasted.
[304] It was crazy.
[305] I was like, thank God these are gone now.
[306] I can't keep eating this chocolate.
[307] But it...
[308] I'm kind of glad I haven't had mine for the past couple days because it was in my car.
[309] I didn't bring it out.
[310] It's probably all melted.
[311] I left it in the rental car.
[312] I haven't gotten it in two days because I was going to give some to my family when I see them this weekend.
[313] But if I hadn't done all that, I would have eaten them all for sure.
[314] Here's me watching.
[315] I think I have more than you, too.
[316] Yeah, I hope to God you do.
[317] Because I just have the ones that basically you were like putting things in a bag.
[318] And so it was just whatever's there.
[319] There was like three white chocolate ones and you don't eat that.
[320] No, no, no. There was such a nice variety, but like I'm not interested in being exotic with candy.
[321] It's like, give me some quality chocolate.
[322] Sure.
[323] Give me one of those koalas with the caramel inside.
[324] Got it.
[325] Someone tweeted us and said, put those in the freezer.
[326] The caramel gets really hard and chewy.
[327] It's like a frozen twicks.
[328] Come on.
[329] Stop it.
[330] Why are we talking about this?
[331] I don't know.
[332] What was your...
[333] That was me. I just...
[334] It was just to say...
[335] Oh, the UK.
[336] Basically that the...
[337] I was thinking of the grandma and the magazines and then the candy, but then it went to the...
[338] Right.
[339] The chapter is closed in our Australian candy.
[340] I don't think that New Zealand is in the UK, by the way, when I just said...
[341] No, you knew that it was...
[342] You were talking about the hometown.
[343] Right.
[344] Yeah.
[345] Those were good.
[346] Those were great.
[347] Yeah.
[348] Good job, Stephen.
[349] Thanks, Stephen.
[350] Thank you guys for writing those in, and please send yours to my favorite murder at Gmail, the fucking the catchier, the subject line, the more likely maybe that Stephen will read it.
[351] Yes.
[352] Well, it's just easier.
[353] Yeah.
[354] It's easier to know what you're about to get.
[355] Yeah.
[356] The never been kissed thing was the perfect.
[357] Like, it's just like this, but that.
[358] Yes.
[359] Come on.
[360] Great.
[361] Make it easy.
[362] Thank you.
[363] Thank you guys for listening.
[364] And we'll talk to you later.
[365] Stay sexy.
[366] And don't get murdered.
[367] Bye.
[368] Bye.
[369] Meo.
[370] Do you want him to...
[371] Elvis!
[372] It's your scene.
[373] Doddy?
[374] Doddy, you want a cookie?
[375] Oh, Daddy, you want a cookie?
[376] Oh, no, no comment.
[377] Oh, Daddy!
[378] Elvis, you want a cookie?
[379] Did you get that?
[380] Yeah, that's fine.
[381] Daddy.