The Diary Of A CEO with Steven Bartlett XX
[0] Did you know that the DariVosio now has its own channel exclusively on Samsung TV Plus?
[1] And I'm excited to say that we've partnered with Samsung TV to bring this to life, and the channel is available in the UK, the Netherlands, Germany and Austria.
[2] Samsung TV Plus is a free streaming service available to all owners of Samsung Smart TVs and Galaxy mobiles and tablets.
[3] And along with the Dyeravisio channel, you'll find hundreds of more channels with entertainment for everyone all for free on Samsung TV Plus.
[4] So if you own a Samsung TV, tune in now and watch the Dyer of a Cio channel.
[5] right now.
[6] Another question I had was about honesty from the jump.
[7] You go on a first date, you meet someone.
[8] How honest should I be?
[9] Should I tell them about my childhood trauma on the first day?
[10] Is that being authentic or is that offloading?
[11] Yeah, yeah.
[12] Well, you know, Chris Rock said at best, you know, when you meet someone, especially on a date, you're not meeting them, you're meeting their representative.
[13] You know?
[14] So from that standpoint, we have to understand that there is a...
[15] boundary negotiation that happens especially on these first dates and it is that tennis game again right so what you're trying to do ultimately is you're trying to and let me even back up can i say this about the first one is that i think we i think most of us do the first date completely wrong entirely wrong we set ourselves up from the jump to fail miserably and be disappointed and the reason why is because the first date is too intricate.
[16] It's too big.
[17] You know, it's dinner.
[18] But to prepare for dinner, I'm going to buy a new whatever.
[19] You know, I'm going to get my hair done.
[20] You know, I'm going to get this.
[21] I'm going to buy this new thing.
[22] I'm going to get the car wash. I'm going to do all this stuff.
[23] We've spent, we've invested so much that we've set ourselves up for failure.
[24] Also, a first date, quite honestly, over dinner is an interview.
[25] It always turns into an interview.
[26] And then the culture I've noticed in the UK's is fascinating, is that this is not everyone, but typically I notice is we're going to get completely pissed before the date.
[27] So we can talk to each other.
[28] So we're just going to drink, drink, drink, drink, drink, drink, drink.
[29] Okay, now let's talk to each other.
[30] And so it becomes, we set ourselves up for having a very costly date in time, effort, all resources.
[31] instead, it sounds so simple.
[32] I like meetups.
[33] Let's even take the pressure off of the date situation.
[34] Let's call it a meetup.
[35] 30 minutes, let's have coffee, right?
[36] The reason why I love that, or a walk, sounds stupid, right?
[37] No, a walk for 30 minutes.
[38] Let's just go walk.
[39] At lunch, let's go take a walk.
[40] The reason why I love that is because the expectation is so much lower in that situation, so much lower.
[41] the cost so much lower, right?
[42] So the investment, right, so much lower.
[43] So therefore, that return on investment potentially so much higher.
[44] But then also psychologically, what I love is happening is if it's coffee, caffeine, if it's a walk, it's endorphins going, right?
[45] Those help us to bond, right?
[46] Oppose to alcohol, that's a depressant, right?
[47] It's doing the opposite.
[48] it.
[49] So in terms of elucidating ourselves for great conversation and preparing ourselves for success, a walk or a coffee is great.
[50] The other part of that is I've had millions, like, not millions.
[51] I've had, let's say, thousands of clients who I've said, okay, in particular, this is for ladies telling men, tell the guy that you want to meet him for coffee in the day.
[52] A lot of guys are like, I'm not doing that.
[53] Yeah, because they want to get laid.
[54] They're like, I'm not doing that, right?
[55] So right away, it's a good filter.
[56] It's a great filter.
[57] It's an easy filter for you, you know?
[58] So that's part of that.
[59] And then if it works well, and when I say if it works well, is you just need two things on that meetup.
[60] Are you physically attracted to them minimally?
[61] And then did they listen to you?
[62] So if you have the ability to communicate, they listened critically, you listened critically, and you're physically attracted, that is chemistry.
[63] Because we have a hard time defining what is chemistry.
[64] You say, what is chemistry?
[65] What's the buzz?
[66] What does that mean?
[67] And everyone was like, I don't know, I don't know.
[68] It is, I think, one part physical attraction, mutual physical attraction, another part, critical listening, listening.
[69] If you have that, you have enough to move forward and then see each other in another environment, you know?
[70] It's so true because I'm just reflecting on how many of my friends, friends, both men and women, will come back from a date that didn't work out and just resentfully talk about how much they've spent and how much it cost them and how much it cost them and how much money it cost them and the preparation or the facial and the hair and the nails and they sit there resentfully.
[71] And it's all you, you're right.
[72] Bringing that level of expectation to a to a first encounter, you know, MoGadat sat here and said, we're happy when our expectations of how life is supposed to be going, go, are met, and we're unhappy when our expectations of how life is supposed to be going to go unmet.
[73] I'm coming in with one hell of an expectation that you're going to be my husband.
[74] Yes.
[75] I've put in all the work, all the investment, the time, three hours.
[76] And then if you fall anywhere below that, for whatever reason, I'm probably looking for, you know, oh, God.
[77] It's not, you're almost setting yourself up to fail by doing such a huge initial upfront investment.
[78] Yes.
[79] And you know what?
[80] You were making, I think, a brilliant, brilliant point.
[81] there is that when you've made that investment, what you end up doing is you're looking for reasons to weed them out.
[82] Yeah.
[83] Because you're like, I mean, I did all this.
[84] Yeah, and his trainers.
[85] Yeah.
[86] What trainers is this guy wearing?
[87] Oh my God.
[88] You see those?
[89] Those are last years trainer.
[90] Yeah.
[91] I bought new shoes for this shit.
[92] Yeah.
[93] Yeah.
[94] Yeah.
[95] It's crazy, crazy, crazy.
[96] What are you struggling with in your relationship?
[97] Oh, man. You know, it is Time.
[98] Really?
[99] Quality time?
[100] It is, it is, it is, I would say time, but quality time.
[101] Because I am, you know, right now, I'm predominantly doing television work.
[102] And, and I've been in TV now, you know, for, since Oprah, you know, so 12, 13 years.
[103] So, so it's, it's been a while.
[104] And one thing I've noticed about the television space is that there are moments when you're hot and there are moments when you're not.
[105] And when you're hot, it's, that's the time to leverage.
[106] And so you have to, you're already working your ass off, but you better work it off even more.
[107] And so I'm in that zone right now.
[108] I mean, I'm blessed.
[109] I'm co -hosting two shows.
[110] I'm contributing to three shows, one in the States, two here in the UK.
[111] So it's one of these where I'm constantly work every day, every day in work, every day and working.
[112] So that time, with my wife, that time with my children, that's the time that I wish I can get some back.
[113] How are you negotiating that?
[114] How are you serving the ball over the net in terms of the tennis analogy to make sure things aren't, you know, she still feels like a priority and your family still feel like a priority?
[115] Yeah, that's a great one.
[116] I mean, finding those moments and making sure that we're, or should I say, making sure that we're intentional about the moments that we do have, right?
[117] Right.
[118] So this morning, for example, before I came over here, we had breakfast together, went out, had breakfast together, sat, talk with the dog, right?
[119] Those moments are immeasurable.
[120] Did you know that the Dariovossio now has its own channel exclusively on Samsung TV Plus?
[121] And I'm excited to say that we've partnered with Samsung TV to bring this to life.
[122] And the channel is available in the UK, the Netherlands, Germany, and Austria.
[123] Samsung TV Plus is a free streaming service available to all owners of Samsung.
[124] Samsung Smart TVs and Galaxy mobiles and tablets.
[125] And along with the Diary of a CO channel, you'll find hundreds of more channels with entertainment for everyone all for free on Samsung TV Plus.
[126] So if you own a Samsung TV, tune in now and watch the Diary of a CEO channel right now.