Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard XX
[0] I brought you a pen and a mullskin from the event.
[1] What?
[2] Pen from the hotel and mulskin for your future writing.
[3] Oh, Liz.
[4] It's your birthday.
[5] No, but it's like, the event.
[6] I know you wanted to be there.
[7] Wow.
[8] You're so sweet.
[9] So you can start your amazing essays.
[10] Did you get a mullskin too?
[11] No, it's my.
[12] I'm giving it to you because I want you to write.
[13] You're such a good writer.
[14] Yesterday we kind of decided we needed new deadlines.
[15] We did decide that.
[16] We did.
[17] And now you're saying it out loud.
[18] I'm sorry.
[19] I'm sorry.
[20] I'm holding us accountable.
[21] Good job.
[22] I know.
[23] Okay, so either today or next week, we're going to assign new challenge.
[24] Okay, you said I'm going to try something new.
[25] I did.
[26] But also your writing is so amazing and people love it so much.
[27] It's not so much about any of the nice things you just said.
[28] It's just that I need a deadline to do it.
[29] And unfortunately, I'm not building that in other than here.
[30] here.
[31] What a wonderful space to do it in.
[32] I think we should do again.
[33] You should give me a title.
[34] Okay.
[35] I like that.
[36] Okay.
[37] Great.
[38] But then what are you going to do?
[39] I mean, you really...
[40] Oh, God.
[41] Are you going to learn a new instrument?
[42] Oh, no. What do I do?
[43] Oh, my God.
[44] Now that, but I'm going to say it and I'm immediately going to regret it.
[45] I have always really wanted to play the harp.
[46] Oh, shit.
[47] When I was little...
[48] But I think it costs a lot of money.
[49] Like, I can't buy a harp.
[50] I wonder if we know someone who has one and you could like go there.
[51] Wait, I feel like I do know someone who has a harp.
[52] Or like whose mom is a harpist, a harpo.
[53] A harpo.
[54] A harpo.
[55] A harpy.
[56] I'll think about it.
[57] It's just when I was little, we had a little, um, little patio door situation and my dad always blamed me for this, but the screen was all fucked up because I would like, I would like open it too hard and not and be very careless with it.
[58] So it had little like, like, almost felt like it was a little harp, so I would position myself with the screen and I would pretend to play it because I loved the idea of harp.
[59] Did you have like a thing, did you have like an instrument or like a fantasy elitist thing you would do?
[60] I had such a robust fantasy life, but I don't think any cross over with instruments that much.
[61] I mean, I did, I played the piano for two years until my bad recital, as we've talked about.
[62] And, And I went to Lincoln and Delta's play this past weekend, and it was Newsies.
[63] And in like an interstitial, they played The Entertainer.
[64] Do you know that song?
[65] You know it.
[66] Like do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do.
[67] Oh yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
[68] Very common.
[69] I don't know if that's in Newsies originally or if they just were like playing some music for the transition.
[70] Anyway, the entertainer was the first song I learned how to play.
[71] on the piano.
[72] It made me, it did make me feel like, fuck, I really wish I knew how to play.
[73] That could be a double challenge.
[74] Maybe this.
[75] How many challenges?
[76] Oh my God.
[77] I also want to learn calligraphy.
[78] Oh, that's out of left field.
[79] I guess that's one you're talking of.
[80] That's elitist.
[81] Yes, that's an elitist like harkening back to a past, a romantic, like Jane Austen vibes.
[82] Okay, harp and calligraphy would be very pride and prejudice.
[83] It would.
[84] Oh, it could be our P &P era.
[85] But the problem is, calligraphy isn't so great for a podcast medium.
[86] Yeah, that's right.
[87] I don't think it's necessarily going to translate.
[88] Also, the elephant in the room is that today is the beginning of the new astrological calendar.
[89] We were told this last night.
[90] And then I Googled it and it's correct.
[91] Oh, good.
[92] And it's spring equinox.
[93] So equal amount of daylight and moonlight.
[94] Today.
[95] Well, yesterday.
[96] But we're entering it.
[97] So it's an invitation for more work -life balance and balance in general, good time to set goals.
[98] It's kind of a new – because, you know, there was a new year, and then we made all these goals and challenges.
[99] And then, you know, shit happened.
[100] And now we have a new – it's like a second new – rebirth.
[101] It's a rebirth.
[102] It's a redo.
[103] Well, a new year redo.
[104] This is a pin ding, ding, ding because we will be talking about Adam Grant's article, which is directly connected to what you just said.
[105] Also, that's very lucky that your rebirth coincides with your actual birth.
[106] Your birthday was yesterday and yesterday is the day.
[107] Yes, that's true.
[108] That's really good luck.
[109] Yeah, it's kind of an opportunity.
[110] By the way, I try and remind myself of this on a daily basis, which is like, if I'm having a horrible day and I'm like, oh, like, today sucks.
[111] Or like, shit happened that I didn't want it to happen.
[112] I'm in a bad mood.
[113] Things aren't going my way.
[114] Like, any hour or any minute in the day, I can look at the clock and start over.
[115] So this is like a reminder that you can start the year over at any time.
[116] Any point.
[117] And especially now because like it's technically, yeah, astrology says so.
[118] So you have to.
[119] Well, I spilled my tea twice on the way here.
[120] You did.
[121] And so I felt like it was a bad day.
[122] But then, yeah, I had to do what you just said.
[123] I pulled up and I said, I got a parking spot.
[124] It's a new day.
[125] It's a new day.
[126] Wait, speaking of new days, did you hear the viral Celine Dion remix that's everywhere since last night?
[127] No, what?
[128] Do you need to play it?
[129] My roommate came in and she was like, I need to share this with you.
[130] I couldn't follow sleep because I kept listening to it.
[131] And then I was like, Monica and I need to do a TikTok.
[132] Something on this.
[133] Okay, listen.
[134] Are we going to get sued?
[135] Are we going to get sued?
[136] I think it's the summer of summer.
[137] Celine.
[138] Really?
[139] Yeah.
[140] People are saying, like, the gays have decided this is the anthem of the summer.
[141] Okay.
[142] I liked that.
[143] I think maybe I need to listen a little more to really get into it.
[144] I mean, I like the idea that we're going to remix a lot of Celine Dion this summer.
[145] I do like that.
[146] Also, her birthday's coming up, succinct.
[147] It's on March 31st.
[148] You know it?
[149] Or maybe it's the 30th.
[150] Now I'm freaking out.
[151] It's the 30th.
[152] You just know her birthday by heart.
[153] I love her.
[154] She's my girl.
[155] And is it because of Canada or just because my heart will go on?
[156] It's so much more than that.
[157] At first, she put out like French albums.
[158] We've known her for a while.
[159] We knew her pre -nose job and everything.
[160] Wow.
[161] And so we're very proud of her.
[162] When did she get a nose job?
[163] She had a bit of a makeover.
[164] I would say in probably 1994.
[165] Before Titanic?
[166] Yes, before Titanic.
[167] A few years before Titanic.
[168] She made a lot of changes to a lot of things.
[169] She learned English also, by the way.
[170] Wow, yeah.
[171] She, you know, Renee and her were determined to make her go international, and so they got her ready for it.
[172] How do you know all this?
[173] I love to lean Dion so much.
[174] Did you read biographies?
[175] I mean, you know, I'll watch whatever, anything that's ever anywhere about her.
[176] Like, when I'm in a rut or having a bad day, I listen to her French songs because they get me excited about my life and excited about like, okay, like she was just like some small town, 10 brothers and sisters, like grew up in like the country.
[177] and went and did all these things that were, you know, no one thought she could do.
[178] She's a weirdo, and she's stayed that way, you know, even though she's so famous.
[179] Wow.
[180] Who's your, like, everything?
[181] I wish, I don't, there isn't one famous person who I know their birthday.
[182] Oh, I'm realizing.
[183] You know Rihanna's birthday?
[184] Oh, no, not by heart.
[185] Only when people, like, post it's Rihanna's birthday.
[186] I feel like you often remind me that it's her birthday, though.
[187] I did text you.
[188] It's Rihanna's birthday.
[189] We forgot.
[190] I feel like Rihanna is your Celine a little bit.
[191] I love her.
[192] You really do.
[193] I love her, but I can't say she's my Celine because that would be rude and inaccurate.
[194] The truth is, I wasn't ahead of the game on her.
[195] You know, who am I ahead of the game on?
[196] Ben and Matt, I guess.
[197] I mean, they're the only people I can feel confident in my heightened level of fandom.
[198] You knew they were going to make it.
[199] Well, you know who else I was ahead of the game on?
[200] Dominique Motchianu.
[201] What?
[202] It's so sick.
[203] And Lavinia Milosevic.
[204] Okay, if you had to guess what I was talking about right now, what do you think it is?
[205] Like a Russian painter?
[206] Like, I don't...
[207] Not far, not so far off.
[208] These are gymnasts.
[209] Oh, my God.
[210] I was obsessed.
[211] I was obsessed with the magnificent.
[212] seven, the 96 Olympic team.
[213] Yeah, right.
[214] And Dominique Mucciano was my favorite.
[215] And she was on that team.
[216] She was the youngest.
[217] She was 14.
[218] Wow.
[219] It's a big deal.
[220] I think I could tell you all seven of them now.
[221] Let me try.
[222] Dominique Mocciano.
[223] Dominique Dawes.
[224] Shannon Miller.
[225] Carrie Strug.
[226] Amy.
[227] Chow?
[228] Yep.
[229] Fuck yeah.
[230] Oh my gosh.
[231] Wow.
[232] Okay, I can do it.
[233] So I've got five?
[234] Yep.
[235] Her name is not Phoebe, but it is...
[236] J .C. Phelps?
[237] Yeah.
[238] Damn.
[239] Oh, my God, I have one left.
[240] I don't want a hint.
[241] Fuck.
[242] Can I have like a small hint?
[243] What's the first letter?
[244] A. Another A?
[245] Oh, my God.
[246] What is it?
[247] Amanda?
[248] Oh.
[249] Borden.
[250] Yeah.
[251] She was...
[252] She was the least magnificent.
[253] Oh, my God.
[254] Wow.
[255] Okay.
[256] So, yes, I was ahead of the game on them a little bit.
[257] Mainly I did a huge deep dive.
[258] And then I also got very interested in the Romanian gymnast, which was the Lovina Milosevic, Simona, Aminar.
[259] Gina Gojin, there's more.
[260] No, there was one, she, okay, we don't need to, I don't need to keep trying.
[261] An insane amount of people that you're listing.
[262] That's when I begged my parents to go to Romania.
[263] Oh, my God.
[264] And they were like, we're never doing that.
[265] To go just be in the vicinity of your favorite gymnasts, their inception.
[266] Yeah.
[267] Wow.
[268] It was, the Romanians used to really put out insane gymnasts.
[269] You know, it was bad because it was a, It was very war -torn and a lot of bad stuff was going on there.
[270] And I think they would, like, probably rip them from their families, sort of, like, young and then make these gymnasts out of them.
[271] I mean, Bella Corolli was a Romanian coach at first and then moved to the United States and then was Dominique Munchionis.
[272] Did you, like, imagine yourself at the Olympics?
[273] Fuck, yeah.
[274] I was doing couch beam, you know?
[275] Then I started gymnastics after that, so I was eight.
[276] and my coach, my teacher, said, if you had started younger, you would have been so good.
[277] Oh, why would he say that?
[278] Yeah, I was a woman.
[279] Well, I actually appreciate that she said it.
[280] She was giving me a compliment.
[281] She was like, you have natural talent here.
[282] But in order to be like a level 10 gymnast and an elite gymnast, you do.
[283] You have to start when you're four.
[284] And I was four years behind.
[285] It was just like not going to happen.
[286] My synchronized swimming coach told me that too Really?
[287] It breaks your heart But you're right that they probably mean it in a way that's like Like you're really good It's unfortunate Just the reality of life is that you should have started when you were four I was resentful out my parents I was gonna ask did they know about it?
[288] Of course I don't keep my resentments quiet That's healthy I mean I think they're like You didn't ask Like we're not supposed to read your mind but they should be reading my mind Did you ever watch the Tiger Woods documentary?
[289] Yes I feel like I was equal parts Oh that's horrible and equal parts Why did my parents do this?
[290] Like why didn't they You wanted one of those dads?
[291] I didn't want the trauma Yeah there's a lot of trauma Again I lied it's not equal parts But there's a tiny part of me that does Because my parents had no vision For me at all Like honestly No vision board no plan Did they have one for your sister?
[292] My sister deviated from the vision a lot because she wanted to go to art school, not even art school, like art history, and they would yell about it.
[293] And so I knew, you know, I needed to stay in line a little bit, but I ended up deviating a lot more.
[294] Yeah.
[295] Did you deviate from your parents' vision?
[296] Oh, God, yeah.
[297] I mean, acting, like, and cheerily.
[298] Everything was, my parents, too, did not have a vision other than be pretty good at school.
[299] Same.
[300] Or very good.
[301] Yeah.
[302] Yeah.
[303] I think because I used to make so many careless mistakes, they right size their expectation a little bit early.
[304] smart, but you just make so many careless mistakes.
[305] That's what my dad said.
[306] What the hell?
[307] Is that a dad thing?
[308] It's like, like, I've never heard the phrase Careless mistake come out of anyone's mouth ever again.
[309] You're the only, that was the soundtrack of my childhood.
[310] Careless, you're so careless.
[311] Careless, careless, careless.
[312] Wait, maybe that should be your challenge.
[313] You should write a song called Careless Mistakes.
[314] Oh, I'm already like emotional.
[315] Oh my God.
[316] Wait, I kind of, okay, I like that.
[317] Maybe your dad could do a wrap on it.
[318] Wait, and that should be your essay.
[319] Oh, the reason I'm going to push back is because on my original essay, I did talk about this.
[320] Your mistake, careless mistakes.
[321] Yeah, I brought this up already.
[322] I mean, look, I did make them, I think.
[323] What I don't like about it is that it attributes an intention.
[324] Yeah, maybe we just were bad at it.
[325] Yeah.
[326] Or I had ADHD.
[327] Like, I really struggled with attention because, again, careless, careless, careless.
[328] I thought, like, I'm an idiot.
[329] And yours was exacerbated by, as you said last week, you left your purse on the subway and stuff.
[330] I jumped into a hole once, like, by accident.
[331] Wait, like, my dad was like, that was the maddest I'd seen him, actually.
[332] Because he were putting yourself in harm.
[333] That's when he said, you say, you're careless.
[334] He would say careless, careless, but he was like, you're all so careless with your body.
[335] Oh, no. And that's when I was like, oh, man, I'm the worst.
[336] Can you tell me about when you jumped into a hole?
[337] It was.
[338] Also, what do you mean?
[339] What do you mean?
[340] So, okay, I was going to a sale at my favorite store, and it was on Roussaint -A -Hon.
[341] How old are you?
[342] How old are you?
[343] 18.
[344] Oh.
[345] Yeah, yes.
[346] I'm old.
[347] I'm still living at home, but I'm like, you know, I'm going to a sale.
[348] They only take cash.
[349] They say there's an ATM across the street.
[350] You can just go.
[351] And I'm like, all right, I'm going to go across the street.
[352] They're doing construction.
[353] I see that there is a gaping hole between the sidewalk and the street.
[354] And so I go around to go to the ATM.
[355] And then I'm on my way back.
[356] I'm crossing the street.
[357] I feel like this isn't that big.
[358] Oh, you did it on purpose?
[359] I 100 % thought I could pull it off.
[360] There was no doubt in my mind.
[361] And I could see the people in the store.
[362] They were like seeing me walk over.
[363] And then I just went for it.
[364] I gave myself a few steps behind to run so that I could jump over the hole.
[365] And I just fell.
[366] No, no, no, no, no. All of my body was scraped because I almost made it.
[367] it would have been actually better if I'd, if I'd been really off.
[368] Exactly.
[369] Like in the middle of the hole, I just would have in like, whoops, in it.
[370] But because I was so close, I scraped everything on my body.
[371] How deep was this hole?
[372] Oh, twice my height.
[373] Yeah, yeah, a hole.
[374] But I was close.
[375] Close is not good enough.
[376] You are so careless with your body.
[377] Well, I'm optimistic.
[378] I'm overly optimistic about how far I can jump, what time I can jump.
[379] make it, stuff like that.
[380] Wow.
[381] And so, yeah, I came back all bloody.
[382] My dad was very upset.
[383] Did you go back to the sale and buy the clothes?
[384] I did.
[385] Okay, good.
[386] They were like, oh my God, do you okay?
[387] And I was like, I'm fine.
[388] What are you even talking about?
[389] Yeah, yeah.
[390] I don't even think I accepted like a band -a -and -a.
[391] That actually, that is the, I'm working on that part.
[392] Oh, just like, let's talk about it.
[393] Okay, so for example, my birthday party, people were spread out and you had a very fun birthday party.
[394] Thank you.
[395] And you're so sweet.
[396] We had such a nice birthday.
[397] dinner last night.
[398] Oh, so nice.
[399] So generous.
[400] And I'm like still on a cloud for my birthday.
[401] Thank you for making it so special.
[402] Of course.
[403] You deserve it.
[404] So it was kind of spread out.
[405] And my friend Simone was like, let's do the cake.
[406] She was like, should I get people downstairs?
[407] And I was like, you know what?
[408] I don't really need the cake.
[409] I just started saying like, let's not do it.
[410] And everyone was like, Liz, what is wrong with you?
[411] Like, of course we're going to sing heavy birthday.
[412] And so it's stuff like that where I'm like, oh, that's not really who I want to be.
[413] It's not even being humble.
[414] It's being like self -effacing or it's not also being honest about my needs and what I'm feeling you know and so I don't want to prioritize a lot of other people over you yeah or even what I think again my mind is like oh people don't really want to move so I'm trying to work on that but um are you what about you like you're like the least careless person I know that's kind of funny actually that's nice of you to don't you think I mean I think you're right I'm very cautious Yeah.
[415] I would never jump into that hole, ever.
[416] And in fact, what probably would happen is I'd be with like 10 people.
[417] Everyone would be like jumping over the hole and I would go around.
[418] Okay.
[419] It's like why I can't be peer pressured.
[420] I just won't do it.
[421] I won't put myself in the situation where I feel like deeply uncomfortable just because everyone else wants me to or everyone else is doing it.
[422] Like I actively won't do it.
[423] That's a great quality.
[424] I feel like that's a quality.
[425] one in your kids especially.
[426] They're not easily influenced.
[427] I guess that's true.
[428] I think though it's a cousin to stubbornness.
[429] Yeah.
[430] And it's related to fear for sure.
[431] Like I'm scared of jumping over it.
[432] So it's good and bad, I guess.
[433] I think you're right.
[434] I would want in my kid for them to not be just like, I guess I'll do it because everyone's doing it.
[435] Like I like some conviction.
[436] You beat to your own drum.
[437] Do you think so?
[438] You do.
[439] Like again, I went to this event.
[440] and I knew that you were also invited to it.
[441] And when I got there, I was like, oh, it would be so fun if Monica was here.
[442] And then immediately I was like, Monica, I'd be like texted.
[443] I was like, it's so fun, you would hate it.
[444] Because everyone is beating to the same drum.
[445] And I feel that you have very specific taste.
[446] You don't compromise on what you want to do and where you want to be and who you are.
[447] You're very committed to yourself.
[448] That's nice.
[449] Do you feel that?
[450] Yes.
[451] I think that's right.
[452] It's true.
[453] But it's double -sided, right?
[454] Like, I feel like I know myself pretty well.
[455] And then not compromising is not great.
[456] Like, there's definitely a tail end to that coin.
[457] Compromises, like, very necessary in life.
[458] Yeah.
[459] And that is hard for me. It is hard.
[460] Where is it showing up that you wanted to soften?
[461] Probably in dating a little, like, you know, nothing's going to be perfect.
[462] And so I have to compromise some of these stands.
[463] I think.
[464] I don't like saying that because I also think that's not true.
[465] So I don't really know.
[466] I think that you don't have to sacrifice your standards.
[467] I think that you have to sacrifice your comfort.
[468] That's relationships, right?
[469] Like not like, yeah, I'm going to accept someone who treats me badly or someone who's not on top of their game in a certain way that feels important to me, but that you're not always going to be doing what you want to do the way that you want to do it.
[470] For sure.
[471] And that part I think is hard for the both of us.
[472] We like what we like.
[473] We like what we like.
[474] I agree.
[475] So much of it is expectation.
[476] Like if I'm on a trip with someone and I know that they're much different than me or something, I can, knowing going in, like we're not going to want to do the exact same thing the whole time, I can adjust if I have that expectation.
[477] But it requires me thinking that through.
[478] Me too.
[479] I'm getting worse at it too or I feel like it was easier before like I didn't really have to like think about before I would go on a you know or again even when sometimes I think about being like 11 I'm like I would sleep at someone's house without knowing I would do it like sometimes it would just sort of happen without knowing what the bed situation would be like what time we were waking up what we were eating like you just go with the flow maybe more easily when you're little yeah I have to do a lot of Mental gymnastics.
[480] Ding, ding, ding, ding.
[481] Dominic Machia.
[482] Because I will have to think, like, okay, I'm not going to get to go to this thing or this place.
[483] And that's okay, because I'll be back here another time and I'll do that then.
[484] But I have to tell myself that or else I'll get resentful, I think.
[485] It's like you're stopping me from doing the thing I want to do.
[486] That's a hard thing for me. Yeah.
[487] But compromise is huge.
[488] And so I do have to be better about that.
[489] We are supported by Thorne.
[490] Being in control of our health means being super mindful of what we put in our body.
[491] From food to supplements, we're always kind of trying to find the best option out there, which is why we're excited to be supported by Thorne.
[492] I first learned about Thorne via armchair expert.
[493] We had someone on who was talking about these supplements, and they are amazing.
[494] I find finding supplements hard, like finding good ones.
[495] Yes.
[496] I take so many supplements.
[497] Yeah.
[498] And Thorne is honestly the only company that I truly trust.
[499] If it's Thorne, I know that it's great.
[500] I take their iron pills every day.
[501] They have a special mix for like female vaginal health, which I take.
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[538] Okay, how are you feeling about your new 37 -year -old life?
[539] I feel great.
[540] So candidly, we were supposed to record two days ago, and then you texted me that morning, and you were like, I feel like we should record after your birthday.
[541] And I responded, like, I'm actually, I can talk about my birthday.
[542] I'm in there already feeling it.
[543] Like, I was not in a great place.
[544] I mean, I wasn't struggling, but I was feeling very, very weird about my birthday, the day before it, actually.
[545] And so I was like, we can record today.
[546] I have a lot of things to share.
[547] But the things I would have shared would have been very different from the things that I'm sharing now.
[548] Okay.
[549] And what were the befores and what are the nows?
[550] I was feeling a big gap between what I thought 37 would be like and how I felt two days ago.
[551] And now that you're deep into your 37s.
[552] Yeah, now that deep into my 37s, I see it very differently.
[553] It is weird, though, right?
[554] And it's the way my friend, Glynis describes turning 40, which is, again, very different.
[555] But she was like, the day before I turned 40, I was like, the worst day of my life, and then 40 was the best day of my life.
[556] And she wrote a whole book, God, no one tells you this.
[557] And she was like, no one told me that, like, being in your 40s is amazing.
[558] And so, what is it?
[559] I don't know.
[560] I just basically woke up on my birthday, and I felt so happy.
[561] And I, like, honestly, I felt so loved.
[562] And, like, you and my family, like, I got this forehanded massage.
[563] Yes.
[564] You said it was pretty sexual.
[565] You had a threesome.
[566] I had a threesome.
[567] That probably jumpstarts, you know, your 37.
[568] I recommend it.
[569] You had a massage, a forehand massage and it felt very intimate to you.
[570] It felt very.
[571] It was your Laurent.
[572] What's his name?
[573] They put a washcloth on you.
[574] I mean, it's just for accessories.
[575] You're naked.
[576] And there's just for lots.
[577] They pour hot oil all over you.
[578] It was like, is this legal?
[579] It is, apparently.
[580] And then, yeah, we had this amazing dinner.
[581] And I had this cute little beach date by accident because I was set up with someone and like he was like I'll call you next week and then like you happen to call me on my birthday and like it was just fun it was just I have this issue which a lot of people have where I make up like scary movies in my head about things that haven't happened yet I convince myself of the worst case scenario right like I'm never going to have kids I'm never going to you know I'm going to be I have my roommate until I'm 60 you know like stuff like that yeah like I just kind of realized 37 is really young.
[582] What am I going to wish when I'm 40 that I did when I was 37?
[583] And it's like, we'll have way more fun.
[584] Because all of those things are going to come.
[585] And then I'm going to be yearning for this, doing whatever I want and getting, doing a threesome on the morning of my birthday party instead of like, you know, driving my kids to school or whatever.
[586] Exactly.
[587] And so I woke up with more certainty about good things happening and that now I just get to kind of have fun until it all happens.
[588] I love that.
[589] That's so powerful.
[590] Yeah.
[591] It's funny.
[592] Because I was like, well, I was almost on my way when you text me the other day.
[593] And I was like, well, we might as well do it.
[594] But I was like, I feel like she always is right about things.
[595] And then you said, I have a hunch.
[596] And I was like, she's right.
[597] Either I'm going to feel worse and it's going to be more interesting because it'll be like trauma dumping or, you know.
[598] Or things will have changed.
[599] But thank you for making my birthday so special.
[600] Thank you for making my life so special.
[601] I can't believe I get to do the show with you.
[602] I can't believe I get to be here.
[603] Like, even, again, I was thinking back at 35.
[604] That year, I had no idea.
[605] idea was going to end in the way that it ended and just the friendship that I got, I could have never dreamed of something more amazing.
[606] And so I feel really lucky.
[607] Well, that's also something I like to consider if I'm feeling like that, like, oh my God, this age, and I don't have this, and I don't have this, and I don't have this.
[608] It's important to remember, like, we met when we were 34.
[609] That's not that long ago.
[610] And we have this beautiful friendship and it's deep.
[611] Things will continue to come and we have no idea.
[612] There are so many ways to look at the future.
[613] And I like that you are looking at it in a positive way with certainty.
[614] And also without desperation.
[615] I think that's the piece to let go of for all of us.
[616] And you'll, again, you're going to make different decisions that are coming from a place of desperation, right?
[617] Or feeling like this is your last shot.
[618] Or again, even the worst is when I'm like dating from that mindset.
[619] Because then I'm like anybody, as if there's no man left on earth, right?
[620] Like, or, again, that there's 10 seconds left on the clock.
[621] You're not going to make good choices from that position.
[622] I thought back at 35, when you text me about freezing your X together and everything, like, I was kind of going through it.
[623] I try and remember that, actually, that like I thought my year was going to go one way and it went this other unreal way.
[624] And I try and remember that, like, that can happen at any time.
[625] Like, in any room you walk into, at any minute of the day, like, miracles can happen.
[626] So it's just like a mindset that you have to work on.
[627] I'm going to wake up tomorrow and be like, you know, and it's just, you have to like.
[628] It's practiced.
[629] Yes.
[630] Because it's delusional to think everything's going to be negative.
[631] It's just as delusional to say that.
[632] And so you might as well make up like a good story.
[633] That's really true.
[634] And then this ties into astrology.
[635] Yeah, it does.
[636] And Adam Grant.
[637] So Adam wrote a substack, a article on why astrology is not.
[638] scientifically accurate.
[639] And he sent it to me and he said a lot of people told me to send this to you.
[640] Hope you read it with an open mind.
[641] And I did read it.
[642] And here's the thing.
[643] We love talking about it.
[644] It's super fun for us.
[645] I am not making like major life decisions based on the astrological calendar.
[646] If it happens to be like something fun like we were just talking about today like rebirth, something positive.
[647] Sure.
[648] Like love to add that in.
[649] But I am not driven.
[650] by it.
[651] And either are you.
[652] And either, honestly, is anyone I know who likes it.
[653] Yeah.
[654] Most people I know who enjoy it do take it with a grain of salt.
[655] But look, I agree with him that if people are like making massive life decisions, like I can't marry this person because there are this.
[656] Like, probably not great.
[657] Maybe give that person a try.
[658] So I hear you, Adam.
[659] And also, I'm still going to enjoy it.
[660] It's fun.
[661] It's not harmful to me in my life, so I'm fine keeping it.
[662] My issue is that I don't understand why people are so determined to tell us it's not real.
[663] Well, is it like Jesus?
[664] Like, is it a little like, oh, fuck, they're making like all these life decisions based on religion and that can be harmful.
[665] Like, there are some, a lot of harmful things that come out of religion.
[666] But has there been out of astrology?
[667] I mean, can't They're in wars and, like, genocide.
[668] Like, I don't.
[669] And, like, to me, it's like sports.
[670] Sports aren't real.
[671] Everything's made up.
[672] And so I always think, again, I love Adam.
[673] It's a worthwhile read.
[674] But to me, it's still this determined energy of proving women or, like, taking something that women like and saying that it's stupid, you know?
[675] There's a whole history of that.
[676] I don't remember seeing any percent.
[677] And maybe I miss this.
[678] And if I did, I'm sorry.
[679] But I don't remember seeing any percentages of the people who actually are making massive, massive life decisions based on this.
[680] I think it's not giving baby people enough credit that they enjoy it for enjoyment.
[681] We're all in on it.
[682] Often, it just confirms what people already know is true.
[683] It's a little bit like people who use psychics and, like, I talk about Pisces men a lot.
[684] And like, Pisces men are a threat to our society.
[685] But obviously, I don't, you know.
[686] You don't really think that.
[687] I don't really think that.
[688] And one of my crushes is currently a Pisces man. So it's fine.
[689] And I'm not like, well, and my gate boyfriend.
[690] And my gate boyfriend.
[691] That's right.
[692] Actually, I've been meeting a lot of Pisces men.
[693] And I don't shut it down because of that.
[694] But then if it doesn't work out or they do something, then I'm like, well, they're a Pisces man. Like I should have, you know, that's why I won't work out.
[695] It gives me one more thing to trust myself, right?
[696] Like I think there's all kinds of stuff, like superstitions.
[697] These are little rituals, like the placebo effect.
[698] Yeah, it's dumb, but it works.
[699] So.
[700] Great.
[701] People get better just taking placebos or doing certain rituals that then like enhance their health or their mental health.
[702] So like let them do it if it helps them.
[703] If it's hurting people, yes.
[704] Agreed.
[705] I feel like it's not.
[706] And I think it depends because like what I can also see as a little bit of a slippery slope with it is like I'm this.
[707] And that is set in stone.
[708] It is written literally in the stars.
[709] I am type A. I am organized.
[710] Whatever.
[711] Like, believe.
[712] believing that it's your character and that's not malleable at all, I do think can be dangerous because it can be hard to then make changes.
[713] So like there's that to look out for.
[714] I agree.
[715] But I also think it's fun.
[716] It's like connections to the game.
[717] When you are doing something that is in line with your sign, it's fun to be like, oh, God, I'm so burgo.
[718] I'm so.
[719] It gives yourself grace, too.
[720] Yeah.
[721] And it's a good way to get to know someone, like even on my beach date.
[722] We were like, what's your son?
[723] Like, do you identify with it?
[724] Like, it's just a way, it's a, it's just a way to have conversation and to connect.
[725] And if people are using it to start worse, let's start poking holes.
[726] But like, it's harmless.
[727] I appreciate it.
[728] It is arguably more dangerous.
[729] Oh, for sure.
[730] And we should be poking holes in that.
[731] Yeah, women should be writing articles about that.
[732] Yeah.
[733] I appreciate the article.
[734] And I did read it with an open mind.
[735] And I, like, maybe it's not for everyone because maybe some people can't handle it.
[736] astrology.
[737] But we can.
[738] Yes.
[739] So we're going to.
[740] Also, Adam Grant is a Leo and that's the most Leo newsletter.
[741] He felt it was so Leo.
[742] So he kind of proved his point.
[743] We are happy to talk about, that could be cool debate.
[744] If we call him?
[745] Yeah, we could call Adam Grant.
[746] I would be down for that for us to do like a group discussion on this.
[747] Should we call him?
[748] He's probably working now.
[749] We should have to schedule it.
[750] But we will.
[751] We're going to schedule a call with Adam if he's interested in try to hash this out.
[752] I think it's important I do too Okay Now let's get into some questions This is funny This is also a ding ding ding Because our friend Anna Recently has declared That she is no longer saying Bless you after sneezes It's a new declaration She's like we don't need to do that And I kind of get what she means Because you know it originally comes from like Like a demon's coming out of you or getting in you or something.
[753] It's like it's exposing herself to a demon takeover.
[754] I did not know that.
[755] I'm nodding, but I spray new information.
[756] It's like religious.
[757] It's blessing you so that you are protected from this demon takeover.
[758] Wow, that's weird.
[759] I did not know that.
[760] Yeah.
[761] And so we're like, that's antiquated.
[762] We don't really need to do that anymore.
[763] So, okay, this is now in keeping this question.
[764] How to get coworkers to stop telling me bless you?
[765] This is from Josie.
[766] My office is very dusty And I sneeze a lot during the day At least five to ten times My co -workers often race To see who can say bless you first Since I sneeze so much And it is seriously getting on my nerves How do I get them to stop Since technically they're being polite I've tried by not saying bless you When they sneeze But they seem to find it rude when I don't do it Oh Hmm It's a good question though And I get why I like relate Because they're like drawing attention to something that you are just like, happens all the time and you just don't want the attention.
[767] Yeah.
[768] This is a good inn.
[769] Maybe if you call out that you're embarrassed, even if you aren't, that makes it about you.
[770] So then if they do it, they know they're making you uncomfortable.
[771] And so they probably will stop.
[772] Right.
[773] If they're nice.
[774] Yes.
[775] It's no longer polite to do it.
[776] It's actually making you uncomfortable.
[777] And I think if you say that, like, I actually get really embarrassed because I know I sneeze all the time.
[778] So every time people say, bless you, I get embarrassed and self -conscious.
[779] Yes.
[780] Maybe they'll stop.
[781] I have a friend who sneezes a lot in a row.
[782] And now I'm thinking back and feeling really guilty that I didn't get it.
[783] Maybe this letter being written and broadcast will raise.
[784] Yes.
[785] And raise awareness around multiple sneeze people and like not to.
[786] MSPs?
[787] I know one too.
[788] I know an MSP.
[789] Now they think back, she was always like, like, very, like, and then like kind of annoyed.
[790] And we would just be like, like, all, like, stop it.
[791] Like, now I'm like, shut up.
[792] Why did we keep?
[793] And it probably, again, happened in probably every environment she was in all the time.
[794] It's true.
[795] It's like she already knows like, oh, fuck.
[796] Like there's about to be 10 seizes.
[797] This is so embarrassing.
[798] Wait, so when you are around MSPs, do you say bless you every time?
[799] I kind of do.
[800] Me too.
[801] It's bad.
[802] And then it becomes a joke.
[803] Wait, should we call my MSP and ask her about this?
[804] What's happening?
[805] You just shake your phone.
[806] Isn't it working?
[807] That's weird.
[808] Oh my God, it's the beginning of the new year.
[809] Phones don't work in this year?
[810] My phone was fucked up this morning.
[811] Wait, really?
[812] Like, couldn't put it on silent.
[813] And it would text, like, it was on a speaker.
[814] I was actually worried for the show.
[815] I'd have to, like, leave it outside the attic.
[816] oh my god hold on is it just your speaker phone okay you're calling me i know i tried you i wanted to try to see but see i can't pull my phone on silent oh it's like rang it's on silent right now and it's no i think because of the beach there's saying you got something in there it won't go silent okay okay now i couldn't see i had to like warm it up it's weird Hi.
[817] Hi.
[818] You're on air.
[819] Okay, great.
[820] We're looking at the new apartment.
[821] We're measuring stuff.
[822] Oh, my God.
[823] Fun.
[824] Okay, it will be quick, but you're on air for sync, so you have Liz and me. Hi, Liz.
[825] Hi, Liz.
[826] Hi, Liz.
[827] Hi, Laura.
[828] I kept you, well, I kept you anonymous just in case.
[829] But I can cut that if you want because I have diagnosed you as an MSP, a multi - simple sneeze person.
[830] Oh, heck yes.
[831] Okay, right?
[832] Yes.
[833] Are you okay being out in the world known as that?
[834] Yeah, and I actually feel like Matt would feel less lonely if everyone knew.
[835] Okay.
[836] Now the world knows that Laura is an MSP because we got a question about someone who sneezes so much and hates when people say, bless you all the time.
[837] And I wanted to get your take on this.
[838] Are you annoyed when everyone's like, bless you, bless you, bless you?
[839] I think I was initially, but now Matt just ignores my sneezing.
[840] So I'll be like a whole full body sneeze ten times in a row.
[841] And he's just, and I'll finally be like, bless me. Because he won't.
[842] Oh, it turns.
[843] Yeah, I find it very annoying when he just ignores what I'm going through.
[844] Wow.
[845] No, now it turns our whole theory upside down.
[846] It does.
[847] It does.
[848] Because now we have multiple data points.
[849] But I don't need to be told every time.
[850] One every 10 is great.
[851] Oh, one every 10.
[852] Okay.
[853] Or it's like maybe when it's fully done.
[854] No, I want it doing because it's like it's happening to me. And it's a lot and I'm looking for a tissue and I'm very busy.
[855] Take Matt out of the equation.
[856] Let's say you're at the office because this person's at the office and she's sneezing like in her cube, I guess.
[857] and then people are running over to say it.
[858] That feels really invasive.
[859] Right?
[860] Yeah.
[861] I wouldn't like that.
[862] No, I think just, oh my gosh, bless you.
[863] That's all.
[864] You just need one in my mind.
[865] But I feel like if someone were to do it every sneeze, then I would be extra self -conscious.
[866] I think just, you know, somewhere in the middle is the sweet spot.
[867] Okay.
[868] I know what's happening, but don't make them embarrassed.
[869] Okay.
[870] It's a fine line to walk.
[871] We should say the Matt we're referring to is Matt Collins.
[872] friend of the pod, F1 aficionado, and host.
[873] Your husband.
[874] Yes, that's who that is.
[875] Do you know other MSPs, and do you guys talk about it?
[876] I think I'm the only one I know.
[877] It's an isolating...
[878] Okay, experience.