Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard XX
[0] Welcome, welcome, welcome to Armchair Anonymous.
[1] I'm Doug Piskings, and I'm joined by Flavorous Magui.
[2] Oh, Magui!
[3] Magooie!
[4] We have a good episode.
[5] The first one is dicey, but it's not, listen, we've set the bar so disgustingly high.
[6] It's not that.
[7] It's not disgusting.
[8] There's just an injury.
[9] It's not disgusting, yes.
[10] It's an injury.
[11] There's an injury that gets kind of graphic.
[12] But not in the vagina's past injuries have been.
[13] So you're kind of free.
[14] I think it's fine.
[15] Just be careful in the first one, but the rest.
[16] And then there's one that's so life -affirming, so sexual between the most unlikely people.
[17] It's so great.
[18] These are crazy bartending stories, a job that I regret not ever having.
[19] Yeah, you would have loved it.
[20] I would have.
[21] You're right at the epicenter of all the action.
[22] Oh, there's everything.
[23] People are falling in love.
[24] People are breaking up.
[25] There's fights.
[26] There's proposals.
[27] There's business deals.
[28] You're right.
[29] The whole world's happening at a bar.
[30] Oh, God.
[31] That's beautiful.
[32] It really is.
[33] If you can hang at the bar and there's no problem, it's so good.
[34] You know, keep doing it.
[35] Please enjoy crazy bartending stories.
[36] Hi, Daniel.
[37] Are you a Canadian?
[38] I am.
[39] Yes.
[40] I feel like Kristen Bell right now, When he surprised her with the sloth?
[41] You guys are my sloth.
[42] Oh, thank you.
[43] Where in the Great North are you?
[44] Edmonton, Alberta, Canada.
[45] Are you familiar?
[46] Yes, I am.
[47] Edmonton Oilers.
[48] That's right.
[49] You got that right.
[50] Who is your famous oiler?
[51] Did Bobby Orr play for the Oilers?
[52] Gretzky.
[53] Oh, that's big time.
[54] Even I know, Wayne.
[55] That's the biggest of the time.
[56] Well, Bobby Orr, he was.
[57] I don't know him.
[58] Okay, he's the first.
[59] But are you a bartender?
[60] Or were you a bartender?
[61] I was, yeah, for about a decade.
[62] Oh, you don't look old enough to have been a bartender for a decade.
[63] Oh, Dax!
[64] You don't have to give me compliments.
[65] I'm already your biggest fan.
[66] I worked in a restaurant for seven years, and I'm a mom and I'm married.
[67] So your bartending days are behind you?
[68] They are.
[69] You know what?
[70] Hey, I'm open to it.
[71] I would happily go back.
[72] The one job, well, not the one, but one of the few jobs I really regret I never had was, bartender because to me it seems so fun you're constantly at the bar you both would be so good at it because this is it but it feels hard because you're balancing a lot at once as a bar I feel like it's much harder than it looks yeah I actually found it easier than serving because serving it's like everything is everywhere and with bartending it's like okay your people are there your drinks are here everything you need is right there so if you know how to multitask you can do it you're basically a therapist Oh, that's fun.
[73] But also, I imagine time goes really quick when you're bartending because it's chaotic, so it's moving fast.
[74] Without drinking, Monica.
[75] There you go.
[76] You don't need wine.
[77] The time will go by fast because it's just that environment if it's a busy place.
[78] Okay, so you have a crazy story?
[79] I think so.
[80] So, yeah, this takes place in 2009.
[81] I was working full -time at a really busy, popular restaurant.
[82] restaurant and bar.
[83] And one of the things that made this particular restaurant really popular is that it had an outdoor patio with a full bar.
[84] So I worked out there a lot.
[85] At that point, I'd been there for a while.
[86] You had to be pretty fast because you're doing everything.
[87] Like the servers come up for their drinks for the entire patio and then you've got your wood.
[88] That's fancy bar talk for people sitting at the bar.
[89] This particular place, it was always packed in the summer.
[90] So this story takes place on a really busy Friday night, we finally got a bit of a lull at about 10 .30 at night.
[91] I took that opportunity to run into the bar cooler.
[92] Also, we're wearing high heels and dresses.
[93] Like, that was the uniform, which obviously very conducive to being on your feet for eight hours.
[94] And sexually harassed by drunk dudes.
[95] Yeah, not ideal.
[96] But, you know, you got to do what you got to do and you get used to it.
[97] So I'm grabbed seven glass beer bottles because that's what I could efficiently bear hug and then run it back to my patio bar.
[98] So it's easy.
[99] Like there's a sliding door.
[100] I don't have to touch anything so I could hold all these beer bottles.
[101] And then when you go outside, immediately there's two steps.
[102] And since you're outside, things get spilled and people leave them and it's like, whatever, we'll get to it later.
[103] So naturally, I step in a puddle and I slip.
[104] So I drop all of my beer bottles on the ground.
[105] And then immediately, immediately fall into the broken glass.
[106] Oh, in a skirt?
[107] Yeah.
[108] The way I landed, I kind of, like, landed on my knees.
[109] So I wasn't just, like, legs up or anything like that.
[110] So the patio is still full.
[111] This is Friday night.
[112] Like, everybody's there still.
[113] Everyone's looking at me horrified.
[114] Like, are you okay?
[115] So I just pop up.
[116] Like, that's what you do.
[117] You just stand up.
[118] I'm fine.
[119] Everything's fine.
[120] But immediately, I knew something was wrong because my hand just hurts so bad.
[121] Like, you've got so many nerves.
[122] in it.
[123] So immediately, I was like, it's just excruciating.
[124] So I'm like, okay, I've got a deal.
[125] I'm just going to go inside, go right back to where I came from, and go to the first aid kit and get some band -aids because my hand is cut, obviously.
[126] So I walk inside and I'm kind of going as fast as I can and I look and in the dining room inside, all these people are also looking at me, like they're horrified.
[127] Did they see me fall out the window?
[128] Like, there's no way.
[129] And I'm holding my hand.
[130] I'm like, why aren't?
[131] Okay, this is weird.
[132] So I just keep going and I go to the first aid kit.
[133] And one of my friends who was in nursing school and she's normally like really bubbly.
[134] She's just white as a ghost.
[135] Uh -oh.
[136] Ah!
[137] She goes into first responder mode.
[138] She's like, can I give you first aid?
[139] And I'm holding my hand.
[140] And I'm like, okay, thinking, like, what are you going to do?
[141] I'm just going to put a band -aid on my hand.
[142] She takes a bunch of clean towels.
[143] I don't know where she got them.
[144] And she squeezes my leg.
[145] Oh, Bob.
[146] It was only at this point that I realized my leg is bleeding.
[147] So she goes into rescue mode here, and I feel like I'm going to faint because the pressure.
[148] So it turns out that when I fell, I actually sliced my leg all the way open.
[149] I left like shin.
[150] And I didn't know because my hand hurt so bad.
[151] You were distracted by your hand.
[152] And I was embarrassed because all these people are staring at me. Monica would have been crying, but not from the pain, from the embarrassment.
[153] Yeah.
[154] But I felt like I was on stage.
[155] So immediately you just get off and you leave and you go to the back and lick your wounds.
[156] It was crazy.
[157] So some kitchen guy that I didn't know graciously drove me to the closest emergency room where I waited in my little black dress and high heels for several hours until I got stitched up.
[158] So I ended up with 27 stitches.
[159] So I had a total of 22 in my leg and five in my hand, which is.
[160] still what hurt the most.
[161] It was really awkward because I couldn't really do anything.
[162] But when I did go back to work, one of my colleagues told me that he saw me walking through the dining room.
[163] And the reason, Monica, plug your ears.
[164] You're not going to like this.
[165] The reason everyone was staring at me is because as I was walking, the blood from my leg was going into my shoes and it was like gushing out the sides.
[166] Like a chocolate fountain?
[167] Ew.
[168] Not very appetizing.
[169] Oh, my God.
[170] Danielle, was any part of you grateful that you got to miss the cleanup since you had to go to the emergency room?
[171] Very much.
[172] And, you know, the first thing I thought was, I'm going to have to pay for all the beers I smash.
[173] Oh, my God.
[174] Right, right, right.
[175] The owner's thinking like, oh, fuck, we're getting sued for $100 ,000.
[176] And you think you've got to reimburse them for $23.
[177] I know.
[178] How quickly were you back on the?
[179] a job.
[180] Bar tending.
[181] It was 10 days.
[182] I was three days later, I was doing manager stuff, which I had never done before, but just so that I could do something and not be doing manual labor, basically, with the stitches.
[183] Did the owners send you flowers or chocolate or anything to say?
[184] No. No. They did tell me I didn't have to wear high heels anymore.
[185] Oh.
[186] I think that lasted a week, and then I just decided to wear them again because everyone else gave me a hard time.
[187] They're like, Oh, you don't have to wear high heels, but everybody else.
[188] I'm like, you know what?
[189] It's just easier to wear the high heels.
[190] It's fine.
[191] Oh, wow.
[192] They should have probably made that a policy for everyone.
[193] Maybe we don't wear high heels.
[194] Yeah, well, I think now it's actually the law that they can't do that.
[195] Oh, good, good, good.
[196] Did you meet your current husband while bartending?
[197] I did.
[198] Tell us.
[199] Was he a customer or a coworker?
[200] He was a coworker.
[201] He worked in the kitchen.
[202] And then he did leave for a bit, and I ran into him later.
[203] Yeah, so that's why I don't regret anything because not working there would have changed the whole trajectory of my life.
[204] But that's actually very common.
[205] Like several of the girls that I worked with met their husbands that way, either from serving them or working with them.
[206] And did you love the lifestyle?
[207] It's a very fast lifestyle, and I like that.
[208] At first I did.
[209] It's difficult when you have friends who have kind of the nine to five because it's the opposite.
[210] it.
[211] So unless you're really into that bar scene, which, you know, that only lasts for so long.
[212] And we start drinking here at 18.
[213] So you kind of get that bar star thing out of your system right away.
[214] So by the time you're in your early 20s, you're like ready to move on or some of us are.
[215] Either commit fully or back off.
[216] That's the inflection point.
[217] Was not ready to have that be my life.
[218] So I did like the lifestyle and it was really good for being in school.
[219] And you make good money too, right?
[220] It was really good money.
[221] Yeah.
[222] Like what would you make in a night, like a Saturday night bartending?
[223] A few hundred bucks?
[224] Those Friday night patio shifts.
[225] Sometimes I would make like $500.
[226] Wow.
[227] That's great.
[228] How else are you going to do that?
[229] You'd have to work 10 hours at $50 an hour.
[230] Who's hiring for $50 an hour?
[231] Yeah.
[232] So I'd say on average you'd probably make about $200.
[233] So it's really hard.
[234] You get sucked into that.
[235] It's like stripping.
[236] A couple girls I went to high school with were stripping in Santa Barbara.
[237] Yeah.
[238] And they were making like $2 ,000 a night.
[239] For both of those things, you age out.
[240] But when are you going to bring Ted Seegers up here?
[241] How do we get our hands on those?
[242] Because that wouldn't cut me. It's a can.
[243] That's right.
[244] It would be very hard for you.
[245] You'd have to fall off of a building for the can to break open in a way.
[246] We're going to grow as fast as we can.
[247] But of course, we cannot wait to be in Canada because it's a Detroit company and we're right across the bridge.
[248] So that is very much an aim.
[249] Awesome.
[250] Yeah.
[251] Daniel, so nice meeting you.
[252] I'm glad you survived this brush with death at the hands.
[253] hands of seven broken beer bottles.
[254] Thank you so much for telling us that story.
[255] So nice to meet you.
[256] Take care, guys.
[257] All right.
[258] Bye.
[259] Bye.
[260] Hello.
[261] Hi.
[262] I love your hair.
[263] It reminds me of the one I use, which was Revlon Outrageous Cherry.
[264] What's the color?
[265] Intense red.
[266] I wish I had a cooler name.
[267] No, it's an electric name.
[268] Okay, so Maddie, you were a bartender.
[269] Yeah, in Magna, Utah, which is super small town.
[270] And bars are interesting there, right?
[271] Because you only have like three, two beers.
[272] and you've got to have a membership to drink hard alcohol and all that?
[273] It is 3 -2 beer now.
[274] When I was serving, it was 2 -7.
[275] What does this mean?
[276] Yeah, I might have messed that up.
[277] The alcohol percentage in the beer was only 2 .7%.
[278] The standard is like 3 -2.
[279] Oh, okay.
[280] So I said the standard.
[281] All right.
[282] Ours was like much lower and they only made it for like Utah and Oklahoma.
[283] So Utah liquor laws are really strict.
[284] We have the lower percentage beer and we also had, you can't have more than an ounce and a half of the same liquor in front of you at once.
[285] Oh, wow.
[286] So you can't order.
[287] order a double.
[288] No. Wow.
[289] Okay, so you're bartending, but kind of.
[290] Are people getting fucked up anyways?
[291] They figure out how to drink more, right?
[292] Oh, yeah.
[293] They just drink more and they bar hop.
[294] And that's the thing with Magna.
[295] This bar was on a historic Main Street.
[296] There are four bars all within five minutes walking distance of each other.
[297] So you just bar hop and bartenders don't know.
[298] This particular night, I have tons of stories.
[299] But this night, I had just gotten on shift.
[300] It was about six o 'clock cashing in my till.
[301] And like I said, Magnus really small.
[302] So I, I, know everybody.
[303] So when new people walk in, we're always a little bit leery.
[304] These two guys walk in, never seen them before, very clearly intoxicated, barely walking straight.
[305] I just started my shift.
[306] I don't want to start fighting with people.
[307] So I tell them, hey guys, I'm happy if you want to hang out.
[308] I'm not going to serve you anything.
[309] But I'll make you some coffee.
[310] I'll get you some soda, water.
[311] I don't want them driving.
[312] And they were like, okay, we'll have some water.
[313] One of the two guys, he takes his water, chugs it, and is like, hey, I'm ready.
[314] Give me a beer.
[315] Okay.
[316] He just thought he needed one water and he'd be good to go.
[317] Yeah.
[318] I'm like, that's not how it works.
[319] I'm not going to serve you at all.
[320] Yeah.
[321] He immediately was pissed.
[322] I'm like, really, we're going to go to zero to 100.
[323] Cool.
[324] All right.
[325] That's fine.
[326] You can leave.
[327] I don't need you here.
[328] They're like kind of yelling, but they willingly get up and leave.
[329] Oh, good.
[330] They walk down the street.
[331] And so in my head, I'm like, they're going to go to the next bar.
[332] Yeah.
[333] So just to be nice, I text the bartender just down the way a little bit and say, hey, these two guys are probably going to come in.
[334] Do not serve them.
[335] Probably about 20 minutes goes by and I get a text back from her saying, oh, shit, I serve them.
[336] And I get why I shouldn't have.
[337] I think they're coming back to you.
[338] Oh, boy.
[339] Now, quickly, who's on staff at the bar you're at?
[340] Just me. There's no big boys there.
[341] No. At this point, we only have door guys on the weekends.
[342] And this was like a Tuesday or Wednesday night.
[343] Oh boy.
[344] So I'm completely by myself.
[345] And I'm like 27, 140 pounds.
[346] I'm 510, so I'm a little intimidating, but not much.
[347] Yeah.
[348] There were quite a few, like, of my motorcycle guys there are hanging out.
[349] So I got a little safer.
[350] Anyway, they do come back and start demanding alcohol.
[351] I'm done.
[352] I'm fed up.
[353] So I start screaming at them.
[354] I am not going to serve you.
[355] Get out.
[356] Just go home.
[357] I'll call you a cab.
[358] So then they start screaming at me telling me I'm a big.
[359] and all the words.
[360] So at this point, my motorcycle dudes kind of stand up and start looking a little intimidating and pushing them out.
[361] Side note, one guy was like six foot, 180 pounds soaking wet.
[362] The other one, six, five, three hundred pounds.
[363] There we go.
[364] Wait, of the motorcycle boys or the drunk dudes?
[365] Oh, no, the drunk boys.
[366] Oh, that's not what we want.
[367] I wanted the motorcycle guys to be that size.
[368] Yeah.
[369] Okay.
[370] They were pretty burly guys, but they weren't anything on this guy.
[371] But, you know, they're more of them.
[372] So they're hurting them out for me. and they're still screaming and they're wanting to fight these motorcycle guys and as they get to the door the bigger guy looks me dead in the eyes and says, I'm going to get my gun, you're dead bitch.
[373] No. And I'm just like Oh my.
[374] Like what do you do?
[375] Oh my God.
[376] I immediately go call the cops.
[377] And my bar, the whole front of the bar facing the street is windows, floor to ceiling.
[378] So we've got a perfect view of what these guys are doing.
[379] We get them out and then they walk across the street.
[380] to the parking lot.
[381] The bigger guy gets in the car, and then the little guy tries to get in and can't open to any of the doors.
[382] And so we're kind of watching, like, what's going on?
[383] Turned into a cartoon a little bit, yeah.
[384] And he starts, like, rolling around his front seat.
[385] He can't get out.
[386] What?
[387] He's locked himself inside of his car.
[388] What?
[389] How can that be?
[390] I have no idea, but we're just all laughing at him.
[391] Like, you are so stupid and drunk.
[392] So I'm telling dispatch, this is what's going on.
[393] I'm actually worried he's going to drive off at this point and hurt himself or somebody else.
[394] Of course.
[395] So I kind of turned my back to the windows to talk to the patrons also while I'm on hold with dispatch.
[396] And then suddenly we hear a loud bang and the glass right next to me shatters.
[397] No. It took me a whole 10 seconds of shock to be like, he just shot at me. Oh, my God.
[398] From his car?
[399] Yeah, just right across the street.
[400] He's out of the car now.
[401] And he has a gun.
[402] Oh, my goodness.
[403] Well, I didn't see him have a gun.
[404] He's just like huffing and puffing.
[405] Okay.
[406] Devil in his eyes.
[407] I don't know where his friend went.
[408] Within this 10 seconds of me realizing what's happening and seeing the glass all over the floor, I scream at all my patrons to get back to the back of the bar, get down.
[409] I hurry and lock the door.
[410] Luckily, the cop showed up.
[411] They were super quick on scene, got him arrested.
[412] And then the owner showed up to, like, go over the surveillance cameras and to see what happened.
[413] It turned out he picked up a two by four.
[414] Oh.
[415] And chucked it out the window.
[416] Oh, my Lord.
[417] They found it.
[418] They found like a big nail sticking out of it.
[419] So the nail must have just barely hit the window in such a perfect spot.
[420] But it sounded exactly like a gun.
[421] Yeah.
[422] I'm sure when that glass broke, it was like a gunshot.
[423] Oh my God.
[424] And that was a triple pain window.
[425] We're used to gunshots in Magna.
[426] Oh.
[427] So we've got windows to protect us from that stuff.
[428] But the owner submitted a lawsuit.
[429] He didn't respond.
[430] Were you asked to go to the police station, identify him or any of that stuff or come to a trial?
[431] Yeah.
[432] Yeah.
[433] So I was asked to come to do a trial and I had to give my perspective of what happened.
[434] But he didn't respond to the lawsuit from the owners.
[435] So one of the owners had experience on Judge Judy.
[436] So he just submitted it over to Judge Judy.
[437] What?
[438] Wait, what?
[439] What?
[440] He's like, maybe they'll pick up our case.
[441] I think no matter what, the show pays out the lawsuit.
[442] Right.
[443] Yeah.
[444] That's my understanding.
[445] Yeah.
[446] So he figured we'll get our money one way or the other brain.
[447] Oh, no. But he still didn't respond to that either.
[448] They picked up.
[449] up the case.
[450] They're like, let's fly y 'all out to LA.
[451] What is this?
[452] This is crazy.
[453] But I think that was the kick in the pants for him of, oh, I probably need to do something about this, take accountability.
[454] Anyway, we did see him in Small Claims Court in Salt Lake.
[455] I sat across from him and he wouldn't look me in the ice.
[456] His wife just sat there like rubbing his back and talked for him basically the whole time.
[457] Oh, boy.
[458] As I start recounting the story of what happened, my experience, he starts sobbing and afterwards he was just like I'm so sorry I have zero memory I feel like I've never seen you before I can't believe that I would scare you like that oh god and at this point I'm like six months pregnant too oh my god that's a huge detail yeah yeah I guess I was very newly pregnant when this happened so by the time we got to court I was like six months pregnant oh god well that's why I didn't remember you because now you were pregnant he's like you know it's like I knew there was this one girl yeah I didn't know the was a pregnant girl.
[459] No, I never fucked with any pregnant ladies.
[460] I have morals.
[461] I only throw two by fours at non -pregnant women.
[462] Oh, wow.
[463] Man, you know, wow, at an end because, well, I hate this guy hearing this story.
[464] He scared everybody to death.
[465] It's terrifying.
[466] And then another part of me that's read a lot of books about trauma goes like, well, that guy was certainly dealing with some shit clearly.
[467] Well, he's an addict, obviously.
[468] Yeah.
[469] I hope he got some help.
[470] Did he get sentenced to any jail time or no?
[471] No. I think he did spend one night in jail until his wife could bail him, but that was it.
[472] And I bet some folks there in court were going, Zee, and this is why we do 2 .7.
[473] Imagine what would happen if we were doing 3 -2 beer.
[474] Oh, my God.
[475] But I wonder what happened to the skinny guy.
[476] He got the fuck out of there.
[477] He's like, this guy's loco.
[478] Maybe he went in the car and got locked in the trunk.
[479] Oh, he found his way into the trunk.
[480] They were having all these problems with the car getting in and out.
[481] How much longer did you tend bar there?
[482] About another year and a half.
[483] In a violent little strip of lamb there where fights?
[484] common?
[485] Oh, yeah.
[486] My first night there, I watched somebody just get jumped from behind and beaten to almost death.
[487] He was almost dead.
[488] People were murdered back there in the vicinity, not in my bar, but I've had knives, guns, all the things pointed at me. I want to go there now.
[489] I really do.
[490] I want to go.
[491] Why?
[492] What are you going to do?
[493] I don't know what it is.
[494] In your fantasy, what's going to happen?
[495] I just, I remember being around that so much that some part of me goes like, oh yeah, it's where everything's happen.
[496] I want to go.
[497] I need to see everything.
[498] I don't know.
[499] I don't know what it is.
[500] Okay.
[501] You know, arousal.
[502] They do karaoke every night.
[503] Just go do karaoke and see what.
[504] Yeah.
[505] Just see what goes down.
[506] Well, I'm glad you're safe.
[507] Yes.
[508] No kidding.
[509] How scary, Maddie.
[510] Yeah, it was.
[511] I think about it a lot.
[512] But I'm pregnant with my fourth now.
[513] So we're good.
[514] Oh, what?
[515] Fourth, you're cranking them out.
[516] Was that the first?
[517] It was my second.
[518] Oh, my gosh.
[519] Well, congratulations.
[520] Yeah.
[521] That's a lot of little ones.
[522] And thanks for sharing.
[523] Well, thank you guys.
[524] I appreciate it.
[525] My sister made me do it because she loves you guys.
[526] She's an addict herself and your vulnerability helped her through so much.
[527] Oh.
[528] What's her name?
[529] Lauren.
[530] Lauren, we love you.
[531] Thanks for listening.
[532] Thank you guys.
[533] Bye.
[534] Bye.
[535] Bye.
[536] Bye.
[537] Take care.
[538] Bye, guys.
[539] I just saw your stupid hands start to wave.
[540] It's not a stupid hand.
[541] It's a regular hand.
[542] Bye.
[543] Bye.
[544] That's good.
[545] We always get so zanian.
[546] but seven and eight.
[547] Hello.
[548] Oh, my God.
[549] Are you in a TV?
[550] What are you in?
[551] Pretty much, basically.
[552] I lived in the Northeast, and we don't really have closets, so I've kind of constructed.
[553] Thank you for making that.
[554] I did this contraption with a blanket behind me and over me and back around.
[555] Oh, my God.
[556] Well, you sound dynamite.
[557] Exactly.
[558] It worked.
[559] Yeah.
[560] Okay, cool.
[561] Where are you in the East Coast?
[562] Right now I'm in Pennsylvania.
[563] Big state, lots of cities.
[564] Which one?
[565] Lancaster.
[566] I don't know.
[567] saying that with some hesitation yeah some shame it actually did a flightless birds on it because this is where all the Amish are oh yes wonderful you see a lot of horse and buggies oh my god everywhere wow but i've only been here for a year i moved here from austin oh my god that's a radical change yeah what brought you there a lover no graduate school graduate school that makes sense what are you getting your graduate degree in clinical psychology oh you're a pervert it's actually thanks to you guys a little bit.
[568] Oh, really?
[569] I was bartending for forever and managing and I actually had like a really serious injury and I was laid up for a while.
[570] I broke my leg in a bunch of places.
[571] Oh, no. There's no cool story behind it.
[572] And I started listening to you guys and you had so many social scientists and I was thinking of going back to school and was listening to you guys and it kind of sealed the deal for me. Oh, wow.
[573] Had you gone to UT?
[574] No, I didn't.
[575] I actually grew up in New Jersey.
[576] I went to school in Rochester, New York, then moved down to Texas.
[577] I like moving.
[578] So were you a bartender in Austin?
[579] Yes, I was.
[580] And is that where your crazy story takes place?
[581] It is.
[582] I wish it had taken place with the Amish.
[583] Absolutely.
[584] Like, Rumsh -Springer story?
[585] But it's okay.
[586] All right, let's hear it.
[587] Yeah, so I was working in downtown Austin, Texas at the time.
[588] We were, like, right on the outskirts of the very downtown area.
[589] At the time, I was managing also.
[590] So on Wednesdays, I started to notice that this elderly couple was coming in.
[591] They'd been coming in for, like, three months at the time.
[592] They'd come in, and the husband would be.
[593] to the bar, the wife would go and get their table.
[594] It was the table directly in front of the entrance.
[595] And then to the right, it was directly in front of the main well of the bar.
[596] So we're an employee's always making drinks.
[597] It was the busiest spot in the bar.
[598] So this was like the highest traffic area.
[599] That sounds like the worst table for me. So that would be uncommon that anyone would want that table.
[600] Absolutely the worst table in the house.
[601] Yep.
[602] But every time they sat there and they would always face the bar, which was kind of weird.
[603] And they wouldn't like watch TV or anything.
[604] they would just be facing us directly.
[605] Oh, my God.
[606] So the husband would come to the bar.
[607] He'd ordered them the same drinks every time.
[608] He'd get them one round.
[609] He wasn't friendly, and we were super friendly staff.
[610] So that was always kind of weird for us.
[611] But he would go sit down.
[612] The couple wouldn't talk to each other the whole time.
[613] And then at some point, the wife would get up and go to the bathroom for a really long time.
[614] Like a really long time, the first time it happened.
[615] I was like, is she okay?
[616] And kind of went in the bathroom and make sure everything was good.
[617] So that was kind of on my radar.
[618] They would get another round.
[619] and then they wouldn't drink their drinks at all.
[620] They would just close a tab and leave.
[621] What?
[622] So they come in this one Wednesday.
[623] We're uncharacteristically slow.
[624] Normally Wednesdays we had like a really good regular crowd.
[625] So that spot in the bar would always be full of people.
[626] This one, I feel like it was raining or something was going on in town where nobody was sitting at the bar top.
[627] So, you know, same drill.
[628] They came in.
[629] So a little bit later, I'm making a drink at the first well.
[630] And I look up and first I see the wife has her eyes closed.
[631] She's kind of like leaned back.
[632] And I was, she's sleeping.
[633] Oh.
[634] And I look at the husband, and I notice, like, his arm is just, like, pumping under the table.
[635] Oh.
[636] He's stimulating her.
[637] He's DJing.
[638] It doesn't even have to process what was happening, but, like, it was really aggressive.
[639] Wait, how old are they?
[640] I know you said old, but, like, what would you say?
[641] 40?
[642] I'm saying 75 to be kind.
[643] Okay.
[644] And he is jack revving that.
[645] Wow.
[646] He still has the strength and the dexterity.
[647] She sells the appetite.
[648] Wow.
[649] What a couple.
[650] Honestly, it's impressive.
[651] Like, afterwards.
[652] talked about it.
[653] We're like, that's great for them.
[654] Keeping it alive, you know.
[655] Yeah, so it takes me a minute to figure out what's going on.
[656] And when I do, it clicks.
[657] I'm like, oh, my God, my jaw drops.
[658] I make direct eye contact my door guy who's just noticed the same thing.
[659] Both of us at the same time.
[660] We're like, oh, shit.
[661] Oh, my God.
[662] Mind you, he's only like five feet away from this table, too.
[663] So I sprint over to him, and I was like, okay, I need you to kick them out, obviously.
[664] Like, are you going to let her finish?
[665] This is the question.
[666] Damage is done.
[667] finish and then we'll get them out of you.
[668] Exactly.
[669] You know, it's an exhibitionism thing during that main part.
[670] We actually had part of the bar that had couches hidden.
[671] They could have done this with nobody seeing them, nobody interrupting.
[672] The whole place for us to see them.
[673] Yes.
[674] Yes.
[675] Kinky.
[676] Oh.
[677] So he's like, I'm not doing it.
[678] I'm not going up and saying that.
[679] Oh, God.
[680] What a door man. I know.
[681] So actually, I've worked with him for a really long time.
[682] This is the only time he ever said no. So it's like, man, like if he's saying no, he's really not doing it.
[683] This is definitely 100 % on me now.
[684] Oh, I was like, all right, do I do it now or do I wait?
[685] Until she lights up her cigarette.
[686] Right?
[687] I can't walk up in the middle of this.
[688] There's no way I could pull that off.
[689] I'm too embarrassed.
[690] Like, I just cannot do it.
[691] We're going to let her finish.
[692] Is it audible?
[693] It's not, actually.
[694] They're very quiet.
[695] It's more like the facial expressions and the arm movements, but it's still not subtle.
[696] One more question.
[697] Is she in a dress or is he down some denim?
[698] I think it was a skirt she was wearing.
[699] Oh, perfect.
[700] Okay.
[701] 80 -year -old.
[702] You know, we also realized that this couple have been doing this for three months.
[703] Oh, what?
[704] That's what you're putting together.
[705] Like, they've been doing this for three months.
[706] And we just - One of the other regulars was like, oh, yeah, like, they do that every week.
[707] And I was like, I've just never seen it because there's always people sitting here.
[708] This has been a weekly thing for three months now.
[709] Oh, my God.
[710] What horn dogs?
[711] At first I was like, all right, good for them.
[712] And I was like, all right, now I'm getting kind of annoyed.
[713] They've been doing this.
[714] I don't know who's seen this.
[715] Now we're all talking about it.
[716] I'm like, nobody look at them.
[717] I'm like, that's what they want.
[718] Also, it now explains why it's empty on this Wednesday.
[719] People are like, don't go in there Wednesday.
[720] There's old timers finger blasts.
[721] What is she doing in the bathroom?
[722] Like cleaning up?
[723] Yeah, probably sorting out her.
[724] Oh, my God.
[725] Are finishing herself?
[726] Getting into her purse and pulling out the jack rabbit.
[727] That's all right.
[728] This is so fun.
[729] We just won't.
[730] Like, you know what makes it, no, listen, you know what makes it save is like, They're so old.
[731] No, it's great.
[732] I just want to hear more.
[733] Oh, okay.
[734] I tell the bartenders, and now they're telling regulars.
[735] So everybody in the bar is involved in this, too, which feels like weirdly participatory.
[736] Now, 20 people are waiting for this woman to come, and it's so awkward.
[737] So finally she finishes.
[738] And it's also very obvious.
[739] There's no noise, luckily, but the jaw drop and she throws her head back.
[740] Oh, it's a great one.
[741] It's very performative.
[742] Yes, this must be it.
[743] And she gets up and she goes to the bathroom, which it's.
[744] explains all of that.
[745] Like she's cleaning herself up, maybe finishing herself up.
[746] In your sink.
[747] Oh, in the sink.
[748] Hand dryer.
[749] I feel agist.
[750] You do?
[751] It's like a good side of ageist.
[752] I personally feel agest because I just think it's grosser.
[753] Oh.
[754] That it's an older person.
[755] I mean, it is to think of her in the bathroom cleaning up.
[756] Well, hold on.
[757] No, it's two things.
[758] In some ways it's grosser.
[759] And then in other ways, it's more life affirming.
[760] Yeah, that's your positive side.
[761] I'm saying I feel ages because I don't.
[762] I think the bathroom cleanup is...
[763] Is low rank.
[764] Yeah.
[765] Okay.
[766] Okay, that's fair.
[767] I felt weirdly age just writing this in.
[768] But then I think about it's like the exhibitionism is really more of the issue than the age thing.
[769] Let's stay focused.
[770] Yeah.
[771] So I'm like, okay, she's in the bathroom.
[772] This is my shot.
[773] They hadn't gotten their second round.
[774] They hadn't closed out.
[775] It's like, okay, great.
[776] This is an easy way for me to go over and talk to this guy.
[777] Close this tab.
[778] I'm so nervous.
[779] I'm like pumping myself up.
[780] Also, I'm like a 4 foot 11 girl in Texas.
[781] This is an old Texas guy.
[782] I'm not to get yelled at.
[783] I'm 100 % certain of it.
[784] So I start walking over like, all right, here we go.
[785] Put the tab on the table on the table and I was like, sir, I'm sorry.
[786] I'm going to have to ask you to leave.
[787] I'm going to have to ask you not to come back to this bar.
[788] And he looks at me like shocked.
[789] And he's like, why?
[790] And I wasn't really expecting that response.
[791] I just kind of stared at him for a while.
[792] And I was, please, sir, don't make me say it.
[793] Yeah.
[794] I can't.
[795] He was like, fair enough?
[796] tipped us 25 % they left and never came back wow so in the end he kind of was a gentleman is that what we would say that's what the wife would say yeah well truly yeah I want to know more about her Wednesdays before they go to the bar is she titillated all day long that they're going and follow up do we think this was a once a week thing or do you think they had bars all over the city that he was jerking her off in my bet is they like would find a home bar and would probably do it as long as they could until they got kicked out.
[797] And then they'd move on to another place because they were coming to us every Wednesday for a while.
[798] Do you think they've been doing this since they were 30 or 20?
[799] Like, do you think they've been doing this for 70 years together?
[800] It's probably why they're still together.
[801] Wow.
[802] I'm envious of the whole situation, to be honest.
[803] We all came to that as well.
[804] Yes.
[805] And I would say it's almost anti -ages, if anything, they're benefiting from their age.
[806] because if it were a couple in their 20s, it would feel a bit predatorial.
[807] You'd be nervous about them, no?
[808] Oh, yeah, probably.
[809] There's something that would just go from kinky to like, I don't know.
[810] Yeah, I know what you mean.
[811] Yeah, this is like playful.
[812] Grandma and Grampy.
[813] But who?
[814] But who?
[815] No one ever observed him getting serviced.
[816] Now that you found out all these people had seen that many times, it's crazy to me people had seen it and not told you.
[817] And not said anything, I know.
[818] I know.
[819] I think everybody enjoyed it a little bit.
[820] Like, everybody thought it was funny.
[821] And it was like, oh, that's the quirk of this bar.
[822] Like, it was a very quirky bar.
[823] So I feel like a lot of people are like, okay, cool.
[824] I'd love to see that for sure.
[825] What's worse?
[826] Did I want to go to the violent bar town or that I want to see the old time?
[827] Both are bad.
[828] Both are bad.
[829] But you would pick for me to be a part of this one because I wouldn't get hurt.
[830] Yeah.
[831] I don't want you in an unsafe environment.
[832] I guess you're making me choose.
[833] I'll let you go to this bar.
[834] Okay, great.
[835] Well, Sabrina, that was a banger of a story.
[836] Yeah, just awesome.
[837] Thank you.
[838] Yeah, really appreciate it.
[839] Thank you for sharing that.
[840] I'll be thinking about that one for a bit.
[841] Yeah, I'm going to be thinking about that tonight.
[842] Oh, God.
[843] Ew.
[844] Thanks.
[845] So great meeting you guys.
[846] Okay, good luck with grad school.
[847] Bye.
[848] Thank you.
[849] She's an 80 -year -old nympho.
[850] It's so exciting.
[851] It is.
[852] Tom, can you hear us?
[853] Yeah, we can.
[854] Oh, wonderful.
[855] You said, we, is there more than one of you there?
[856] I gave myself up already.
[857] My fiance is here.
[858] Okay.
[859] You blew up your spot.
[860] I did.
[861] Are you watching the Beckham documentary?
[862] I haven't seen it yet.
[863] Oh, you need to see it because your hair is looking very Beckham right now.
[864] And your sweater.
[865] Actually, it's in the Northeast here.
[866] It's actually nice today.
[867] So we get to wear a T -shirt.
[868] We blew that one.
[869] I maintain that your hair does look like Beckham's currently.
[870] Well, and I'm a soccer player, so that works.
[871] Oh, wonderful.
[872] Okay, where are you at in the Northeast?
[873] Boston, just outside the city.
[874] Oh, I got you.
[875] I got you.
[876] Okay, so you were or are a bartender?
[877] I was, yes.
[878] What year was this?
[879] This was, let's see, 13 years ago, so fast math.
[880] Okay, 2010, yeah.
[881] That was easy.
[882] Yeah, 20, 10.
[883] We got lucky.
[884] I'll make it harder for you coming up, okay?
[885] Okay, please do.
[886] I like a challenge.
[887] In your bartending in Boston?
[888] Because that's a rowdy place to bartend, I think.
[889] I have bartending in Boston, but at this point, I was bartending in southern New England.
[890] I'm keeping things vague for a reason.
[891] Oh, great.
[892] Because there's some legal stuff.
[893] Okay, great.
[894] Tell us what happened.
[895] A little bit of background.
[896] I'm bartending one night a week at this dive bar.
[897] The owner had known me for a while.
[898] It's in a place where there's a bunch of bars, a little beach community, and he wanted me to come and work for him.
[899] And eventually I was like, okay, but if I could have Monday night, which is the bartender's Saturday night, I wanted all service industry so that, you know, they tip very well.
[900] It's a fun group.
[901] Smart.
[902] Okay.
[903] That's clever.
[904] Yeah.
[905] And this comes into play later as well.
[906] So I was able to get that and able to build it up as the service industry place to go on a Monday night.
[907] And then one night, it's just a regular night, and a couple walks in.
[908] She's in her early 20s.
[909] He's mid -20s.
[910] They order beers, and something just seems off with her.
[911] With her?
[912] Correct.
[913] I couldn't quite put my finger on it, not alarming, just off.
[914] And then they ordered another round, but then he gets up to go to the bathroom.
[915] And I go over to her, and I'm just like, hey, is everything okay?
[916] And she just looks at me scared and was just like, no, everything's not okay.
[917] I'm on a blind date.
[918] I don't know him, and I don't know where I am.
[919] Oh, my God.
[920] Oh, fuck.
[921] She's been roofingold?
[922] No, she wasn't roofied.
[923] I asked her.
[924] I was like, where are you from?
[925] And she told me, she's like an hour away.
[926] I was like, so he drove you an hour and didn't tell you where you were going on a blind date?
[927] And she was like, yes.
[928] Oh, boy.
[929] So she's scared.
[930] Yes.
[931] Oh, boy.
[932] Wow, good spidey senses.
[933] Yeah, really good job, Tom.
[934] Yeah.
[935] Any bartender's going to do the same thing.
[936] I have to believe.
[937] I hope.
[938] That's very optimistic, but I'll take your word more.
[939] Most of the bar turns I know would pick up on that.
[940] Yeah.
[941] So anyways, I'm like, all right, just stay there.
[942] No matter of what happens, just stay in your seat.
[943] I'm going to confront someone when he comes out of the bathroom.
[944] We'll take care of this and we'll make sure that you get home because you do live very far away.
[945] Yeah.
[946] The bar, again, is full of all service industry people.
[947] So we're all going to make sure that she gets home.
[948] The guy comes out and I'm like, hey, not a big deal.
[949] Just pay your tab and it's time to go.
[950] And he's like, oh, no, my date's over there.
[951] And I'm like, yeah, so that's the thing.
[952] That's over.
[953] That's what this is about, actually, is why you got to leave.
[954] I didn't just randomly pick you out.
[955] So then he's like, well, no. And then he starts getting really rough.
[956] Like, he's ready to fight.
[957] And Dax, I know you're like tall guys.
[958] I'm six foot five.
[959] Oh, wow.
[960] Congratulations.
[961] Thank you.
[962] Yeah.
[963] This guy was taller than me and had at least 100 pounds on me. Oh, my God.
[964] Would he play for the Patriots?
[965] Maybe.
[966] So when he started getting competition, I was like, you know what?
[967] Don't worry about the tap.
[968] Let's just go.
[969] At which point, one of my good friends at the time, was a bouncer there just not on duty so he came over and he had my back and we kind of got him out to his car we thought this is going to be it worse comes to worse he didn't pay a tap like not a big deal right and then we get him into the car he closes the door tries to open it again yelling profanity he's ready to fight us we could tell so i pin the door shut with my leg and was like just go just go just go so then he starts driving away and about a hundred feet up from our bar he just comes to a screeching halt and that's when we knew like oh no we're fighting this is not going to be Good.
[970] There was two girls that were local bartenders smoking outside.
[971] And as the car is pulling around, I just look at them and I'm like, hey, go get everybody and call the cops.
[972] So they went inside, got everybody, presumably.
[973] But this guy is screeching back towards us.
[974] He stops in front of us and he reaches into the back of his car.
[975] Oh, great.
[976] And he pulls out a baseball bat.
[977] Oh.
[978] Okay.
[979] Only slightly preferable to a gun.
[980] Gone.
[981] Yeah.
[982] Dax and Monica, I've never been so happy to find out that a guy's pulling a baseball bat.
[983] Yeah, exactly.
[984] I was like, it's not a gun.
[985] All right, all right.
[986] We can maybe deal with this, but a gun we can't.
[987] Right, right.
[988] He starts charging us.
[989] And when he gets close, my focus is on that bat.
[990] Like, if I get that bat, my buddy here can take care of the rest.
[991] He either holds on to the bat and has one hand or he lets it go.
[992] I can get rid of the bat and he's got two of us.
[993] So I'm at the bat, stand at the bat, and he hits me in the Adam's apple.
[994] Oh, he punched you.
[995] Oh, wow.
[996] Oh, my God.
[997] Oh, yeah.
[998] Dax, you can please back me up on this.
[999] when you get hit normally in a fight, you don't feel it at the time.
[1000] Yeah, not at all.
[1001] Your adrenaline is pumping.
[1002] I can tell you, you feel it right away when someone hits you in the Adams Apple.
[1003] Good tip.
[1004] Good to know.
[1005] Did you feel like you couldn't breathe right away?
[1006] I don't remember that.
[1007] I just remember it being the only time I've ever been hit where I actually felt pain right away.
[1008] Oh, interesting.
[1009] And maybe someone can write in.
[1010] We'll have an Adam's Apple.
[1011] Crazy Adam Apple story.
[1012] So I grabbed the bat and then when I turn around I realized my buddy, the bouncer, he ran back inside.
[1013] Oh, he laughed.
[1014] Oh, Jesus Christ.
[1015] He had to take a squirt or he didn't want to be involved with this guy?
[1016] I think he saw the bat and just wasn't having it.
[1017] I don't know.
[1018] I just knew that this guy could not get back into that girl.
[1019] But luckily, a lot of guys did run out.
[1020] The girls did go in and tell them like, hey, go outside.
[1021] I need help.
[1022] And then my roommate at the time, he's the first one to get there to start hitting him as I'm still holding the bat.
[1023] So I did get the bat.
[1024] We'll just jump forward to the point where he, wants to get away from us.
[1025] We get him into the car.
[1026] He drives away.
[1027] The cops get there, very quickly, by the way.
[1028] And one of the cops looked down, saw his shoes, his glasses, which were all broken, and the bat on the ground.
[1029] And he's just like, man, you guys really fuck this kid up, huh?
[1030] Uh -huh.
[1031] Yeah.
[1032] Sounds so New England, the story.
[1033] It does.
[1034] It really does.
[1035] It's very good while hunting.
[1036] It is.
[1037] It is.
[1038] It could be a Detroit story, too.
[1039] Yeah, it's good.
[1040] I was going to say, that's got to be interchangeable.
[1041] Yes, yes.
[1042] I think so.
[1043] So the cops go, okay, you guys really fuck this guy up.
[1044] We're not going to say good job, but good job.
[1045] Yeah, exactly.
[1046] So he drove towards the nearest bridge, which was the only way out on that side.
[1047] The cops got there.
[1048] They got it.
[1049] Oh, wonderful.
[1050] So we still have this girl who's at the bar.
[1051] She has no phone.
[1052] She has no money.
[1053] She lives an hour away.
[1054] And we can't even get a cab to come get her because no cab service this area.
[1055] So finally, the cops get a cab to come out.
[1056] Because we're talking 2010 here.
[1057] There's no Uber or anything.
[1058] And the whole bar gets together, puts in five, 10 bucks each.
[1059] And we pay for her whole cab ride.
[1060] She's off.
[1061] She's safe.
[1062] Good job, boys.
[1063] And then I hadn't heard anything for about a month.
[1064] Then also late one night, like, 2 .30.
[1065] I had sent her all's home.
[1066] I hear the door open.
[1067] So one of the other guys must have left the door open.
[1068] And I'm like, shit, I have a ton of money here.
[1069] Like, what am I to do?
[1070] Yeah.
[1071] It's a uniform police officer.
[1072] So I'm like, cool.
[1073] And he's like, oh, are you?
[1074] So and so.
[1075] And he used my full name.
[1076] And I was like, yeah, what's going on?
[1077] And he goes, oh, you're under arrest.
[1078] Oh.
[1079] So my heart's like, going a mile a minute.
[1080] I'm like, ready to get cuffed.
[1081] And he goes, no, I'm just messing with you, man. again welcome to new england oh my god oh my god boston what the hell i was like that's not funny that's not funny at all it is to him and his buddies and he goes yeah but i had you and i was like yeah yeah you did and he goes no but i'm just kidding you are subpoenaed oh okay we can live with that so then i end up going to court i find out that this guy already has assault charges so he's already on trial from an assault in a different state i actually didn't have to testify he took a plea deal for three years.
[1082] Oh, no kidding.
[1083] I'm guessing his other trial was pretty bad.
[1084] Thank God she escaped.
[1085] We never did find out what his intentions were.
[1086] No, we don't know.
[1087] I mean, I got to imagine they weren't great, but what exactly were they?
[1088] Yeah, I don't know.
[1089] I've thought about that, too.
[1090] He seemed like a nice guy before he flipped.
[1091] You know what I mean?
[1092] Right.
[1093] But obviously, she was getting not good vibes, so I don't know what happened there.
[1094] Or it was the hour -long car ride.
[1095] What kind of car was he driving?
[1096] It was silver, probably like a Nissan Central or something like that, Like a small compact.
[1097] Okay, 6 .5 and a compact.
[1098] No, he was more than 6 .5.
[1099] He's 6 .5.
[1100] Right, right, right.
[1101] He's 6 .7.
[1102] Yeah, I don't know how he fit in there, but it was some sort of small compact that was old, even at the time.
[1103] Oh, my gosh.
[1104] Well, Tom, what an incredible story.
[1105] That's kind of my dream story.
[1106] You know, I have this complex about being a sheriff and a savior.
[1107] You really rose to the occasion.
[1108] I hope you feel great about it.
[1109] Yeah, I'm older now, so I'm like, what the hell was I thinking?
[1110] That's the time, though.
[1111] You got to get those over with, and then you shift gears into safety.
[1112] Yeah.
[1113] If you feel in danger at all, always go to the bartender.
[1114] Yeah, that's really good.
[1115] They'll help you out.
[1116] They're the ones that are going to know exactly what to do.
[1117] They know what the bouncers are.
[1118] They know everything.
[1119] Yeah, they've seen all the shit.
[1120] So who's with you in the room?
[1121] We got to say hi to them.
[1122] Oh.
[1123] Hello.
[1124] Who's this?
[1125] I'm Carly.
[1126] So nice to meet you.
[1127] Hi, Carly.
[1128] I have such an affinity for that name.
[1129] I know.
[1130] It's a good one, right?
[1131] Yeah, Carly Simon, my little sister.
[1132] Me now.
[1133] You got a real tall son of a bitch on your arm here, don't you?
[1134] I did good.
[1135] I'm 5 -10 myself.
[1136] I hope you have an NBA center.
[1137] I know.
[1138] I write paper for that college.
[1139] Well, we love Tom.
[1140] He's so cute.
[1141] That was a great story.
[1142] Very heroic.
[1143] Now, I'm like, can we just not fight people in general?
[1144] Can we not get into these situations to begin with?
[1145] That's fair.
[1146] Keep talking me up.
[1147] It's great.
[1148] That's very fair for you to ask at this point.
[1149] Well, it's so nice meeting both of you.
[1150] So nice.
[1151] to meet you.
[1152] We absolutely love your podcast.
[1153] We have, like, nothing in common in terms of content that we like to take in.
[1154] He likes to watch World War II documentaries.
[1155] I'm a reality TV person.
[1156] So this is, like, our common ground.
[1157] Oh.
[1158] I'm delighted that's the case.
[1159] And I, too, love a good World War II doc.
[1160] And I like some good old reality TV.
[1161] You love a Bachelor.
[1162] Oh, yeah.
[1163] Well, Carly, so nice meeting you.
[1164] Tell Tom that we really enjoyed meeting him.
[1165] So nice to meet you guys.
[1166] Thanks so much.
[1167] All right.
[1168] Bye.
[1169] What a story.
[1170] Bartenders, they're in the fray.
[1171] It's adjacent to me wanting to work at 7 -Eleven.
[1172] Yeah, it has that vibe.
[1173] I mean, it's probably too late for me to become a bartender, but maybe in my retirement.
[1174] All right, well, boy, that was great.
[1175] I thought it would be because of bartenders.
[1176] Yeah.
[1177] Wow.
[1178] Oh, yeah.
[1179] Sabrina story.
[1180] The old timers, don't forget.
[1181] I won't forget.
[1182] Don't forget because Tom tainted your palate a little bit because it was violent.
[1183] Yeah.
[1184] And scary, but go back to the retirees.
[1185] Okay, you're good right where you're at.
[1186] Yeah, I'm great.
[1187] Okay.
[1188] All right.
[1189] Bye.
[1190] Love you.
[1191] Do you want to sing a tune or something?
[1192] We don't have a theme song.
[1193] Oh.
[1194] We don't have a thing song for this new show.
[1195] So here I go, go, go.
[1196] We're going to ask some random questions.
[1197] And with the help of our cherries, we'll get some suggestion.
[1198] On the fly a rhyme dish.
[1199] On the flyer rhyme dish, enjoy.