MFM Minisode 317

[0] This is exactly right.

[1] Hello.

[2] And welcome to my favorite murder.

[3] The minisode.

[4] We read you your stories.

[5] You sent them.

[6] We might as well read them.

[7] Let's do it.

[8] We have an inbox full of your letters.

[9] And they're all about, oh, could be true crime.

[10] Could just be a lake you lived next to once you want to tell us about.

[11] I have a story about a lake.

[12] Someone lived next next to me. Yes.

[13] Yes.

[14] The connection's been made.

[15] That's all we need.

[16] Do you want to start?

[17] Yeah, I'll start with that one.

[18] Perfect.

[19] This is called good old hometown featuring a lake, ahead, and alligators.

[20] Okay, I'm sorry.

[21] That's weird that I just said that.

[22] It is.

[23] You didn't get one like that?

[24] I figured it must have gotten a lake one, too.

[25] No, that was, I truly pulled that out of the stream of consciousness.

[26] That's so weird.

[27] That's right.

[28] You don't do podcasting for seven years about being able to do that shit.

[29] That's right.

[30] Okay.

[31] Hello, ladies.

[32] in, Alejandra, pets, and every other beautiful murderino out there.

[33] Alejandra's getting mentions now.

[34] We love it.

[35] I've always wanted to write in, but I didn't think I had anything good, other than growing up in a very haunted house.

[36] Until I remembered that there was a fucking head discovered in the lake I grew up on.

[37] Oh, fuck.

[38] The name of the lake, ironically, is Bone Lake.

[39] My childhood best friend lived directly across the lake from me, and one day we were discussing how weird the name of the lake was.

[40] Their older brother then told us that it was named after a woman's head was found in the lake years ago.

[41] I, being a young, impressionable child, brought this tale home to my mother in horror.

[42] She then explained that it got its name from being shaped like a bone, but the head story was also true.

[43] Just let me qualify that answer, her mom said.

[44] You're still going to be scared shitless.

[45] You're just going to be informed.

[46] Back in 1993, a resident on the lake thought he found a mannequin head floating in the lake.

[47] and called the police.

[48] As we could guess, it turned out to be a real head.

[49] The woman's foot was also found in a different Minnesota lake.

[50] She's in the DNA Doe Project, and they're still actively working 30 years later to identify her.

[51] Horrifying.

[52] I know.

[53] Years later, a man who was running from the law also released his pet alligators into the lake.

[54] Did that rationalize my childhood fear of alligators swimming in the lake waiting to eat my dangling legs?

[55] Apso fucking lute.

[56] Still to this day, I will not go swimming in any.

[57] any lakes, rivers, oceans, or anything other than very well -lit pools.

[58] Anyways, stay sexy and stay to fuck out of lakes, Sarah, she, her.

[59] I'm blown away that I pulls a lake out of the air.

[60] It's so weird.

[61] Name something else, and I'll see if I have it.

[62] Do another one.

[63] Hot dogs?

[64] Hot dogs.

[65] No hot dogs.

[66] Oh, okay.

[67] I can't, I, we talk about this all the time, but still, the idea that you're just like, what was he doing outfishing or driving by?

[68] and then you find a human head.

[69] Yeah.

[70] It's a human being.

[71] Well, he clearly didn't think it was a mannequin if he called the fucking cops immediately.

[72] Well, it's like, I think that the phrase should actually be hoped it was a mannequin.

[73] Because that's the truth of like, this just could be a funny, I'm mistaken in the most interesting way.

[74] No. No. It's actually everyone's worst nightmare.

[75] Oh, Jesus.

[76] Awful.

[77] Awful.

[78] God, solve that.

[79] Yeah.

[80] Cold case.

[81] Totally.

[82] Figure it out.

[83] Okay.

[84] The subject line of this one is Close to Home, hometown story.

[85] Hi, everyone.

[86] Well, and there's like six L's at the end of Well, well, y 'all said in Minnesota 288 to write in the stories that you talk about as soon as you hit that comfy couch.

[87] So here we go.

[88] Does that sound familiar at all?

[89] Mm -mm.

[90] Never.

[91] I'll get right into it.

[92] In April 2003, two masked men entered a bank in Maryland and ordered everyone to get down.

[93] While one of the masked men stood by the entrance of the bank with a gun, the other jumped over the counter and ordered the tellers to give him the money, stating that, quote, no one will get hurt.

[94] Typical bank robbery in every movie.

[95] After the teller emptied the cash drawers, the two men left the bank.

[96] A shootout broke out while they fled, and one of the men was hit in the arm.

[97] However, they fled somewhat successfully.

[98] The two men were friends, and they had young children around the same age.

[99] after the shooting, possibly a day or two after, they took their young children to the local carnival.

[100] The daughter of one of the men asked why her dad's friend's arm was wrapped.

[101] They gave her some bull excuse that you would give a six -year -old.

[102] Oh, and by the way, I'm that six -year -old.

[103] Hi.

[104] Oh, twist -a -roo.

[105] Oh, my God.

[106] Really good mid -email reveal.

[107] Very good.

[108] Hi.

[109] The two men, one of them being my dad, were ultimately arrested after my badass mom saw a video of one of the bank robbers leaning over the counter on the news.

[110] She said, and I quote, I knew immediately that was his ass crack.

[111] Well, you're with someone long enough, I guess.

[112] Right?

[113] Which I thought was hilarious.

[114] They were already in the process of getting a divorce, and then it's like a dot, dot, dot, dot.

[115] My dad was not the best guy.

[116] My dad was in prison for the robbery for the time I was six until I was 18, and in 2015, he even tried to crash my high school graduation.

[117] In 2021, I received my criminal justice degree and couldn't be happier.

[118] Wow.

[119] There are times that I worry when people look up my last name.

[120] They will see who my father is, and that is why I don't use it.

[121] I didn't let a shitty upbringing change the outcome of my life.

[122] I'm currently engaged in living in a home that my fiancé and I own together with our two dogs.

[123] Thank you for continuously being the hilarious in my head friends that I listen to on a regular basis.

[124] You both have created such an amazing community and deserve endless gratitude.

[125] Stay sexy and don't take your six -year -old to the carnival after you just robbed a bank, Harley.

[126] Oh, my God, Harley.

[127] Wow, great email.

[128] I mean, that's kind of a great perspective to be able to hear from sometimes.

[129] Totally, totally.

[130] Where it's just like, yeah, you can live whatever life you want no matter who your parents are.

[131] Yeah, yeah.

[132] That's important for people to hear, and it is kind of funny.

[133] Wild.

[134] Wild.

[135] Wow.

[136] For sure, the mom recognized the dad, ask crack.

[137] Karen, you know I'm all about vintage shopping.

[138] Absolutely.

[139] And when you say vintage, you mean when you physically drive to a store and actually purchase something with cash.

[140] Exactly.

[141] And if you're a small business owner, you might know Shopify is great for online sales.

[142] But did you know that they also power in -person sales?

[143] That's right.

[144] Shopify is the sound of selling everywhere, online, in store, on social media, and beyond.

[145] Give your point of sales system a serious upgrade with Shopify.

[146] From accepting payments to managing inventory, they have everything you need to sell in person.

[147] So give your point -of -sale system a serious upgrade with Shopify.

[148] Their sleek, reliable POS hardware takes every major payment method and looks fabulous at the same time.

[149] With Shopify, we have a powerful partner for managing our sales, and if you're a business owner, you can too.

[150] Connect with customers in line and online.

[151] Do retail right with Shopify.

[152] Sign up for a $1 per month code is all lowercase.

[153] Go to Shopify .com slash murder to take your retail business to the next level today.

[154] That's Shopify .com slash murder.

[155] Goodbye.

[156] This one's called My Husband Walked in on a Robbery.

[157] Hello, MFM, everybody.

[158] I love you all.

[159] I hope this one is worthy because it is such a strange experience.

[160] In 2016, we had a series of robberies in our boring suburban neighborhood in Oregon.

[161] My husband, who was in nursing school and just happened to have the day off, left our home to run some errands.

[162] and left the back door unlocked.

[163] When he returned the garage door opener, it would not work.

[164] He went around to the side of the house and found a few items from the garage sitting outside the door.

[165] Before he knew what happened, a young girl slipped out the door and stood face to face with him.

[166] She very quickly told him, Your puppy got out and I brought him back.

[167] She asked about an item for sale that we had listed, and my husband and his confusion did not figure out that she had just come from inside our house and might be robbing us.

[168] So just talk to her for a little while.

[169] It finally clicked with him.

[170] The items stacked up outside the door and he said, wait a minute, and then she took off running.

[171] She ran down the street and got into a car that was waiting and disappeared.

[172] He walked into the house and discovered that the garage door had been disarmed and our house had been staged.

[173] Each room had a laundry basket, not ours, filled with valuable items.

[174] Even my daughter's bedroom, my son's bedroom, had been filled with the items that they were going to steal, Electronics, TV, jewelry, all neatly piled up in a laundry basket outside each bedroom.

[175] Wow.

[176] So they're like organized as fuck.

[177] It sounds like fully organized.

[178] Yeah.

[179] I mean, it would make sense.

[180] You have to kind of like have your act together.

[181] Yeah.

[182] Break in.

[183] Plus if you see someone like you're a neighbor and someone's walking out with a laundry basket, that's not that suspicious as much as like a TV.

[184] Especially a young woman.

[185] Exactly.

[186] The police were called.

[187] They came out very quickly and fingerprinted almost every surface up.

[188] our house.

[189] I think they even fingerprinted our cat.

[190] They explained that staging is how people will rob homes efficiently.

[191] The getaway car will pull up last minute and all the laundry baskets will be taken out the back door.

[192] Apparently, this has been happening quite a bit in the neighborhoods and nobody had seen who was doing it.

[193] They got fingerprints and because my husband stood face to face with this person and talked to her, he identified her in a lineup, testified in court, and we were considered victims in the crime.

[194] Because of that, in Oregon, maybe every place else, I don't know.

[195] We were notified every time something happened with the case and every time this young woman had a change in status.

[196] We learned that she was very young and on drugs.

[197] She went to prison, went to drug and alcohol treatment, went to a halfway house, and then was on a program to help her reintegrate.

[198] I believe they told us every time this happened because she knew where we lived and what we looked like.

[199] She later stated that getting caught was, quote, the best thing that ever happened to me. Wow.

[200] Although it felt very violating, my husband and I are glad that he was home that day, not just to save our stuff, but apparently help her out too.

[201] And we never, ever left the back door unlocked ever again, ever, never.

[202] I'm a therapist and I love how you guys talk about mental health with such compassion and understanding.

[203] Been listening since 2019.

[204] Truly love you all.

[205] Stay sexy and lock your damn doors.

[206] See.

[207] I mean, isn't that like best case scenario of somebody like going into the system?

[208] Yes.

[209] And then coming out off of drugs and like with a new lease on life.

[210] If only it could always be like that for anybody that's like doing that kind of victimless crime.

[211] Yeah.

[212] And how compassionate of these people who are like, yeah, we were victims of this crime, but we don't want you to be punished.

[213] You don't want people to be in the position to need to rob people's houses.

[214] Right.

[215] That's the goal.

[216] Exactly.

[217] That's the goal.

[218] That's funny, though, because I remember I had a check stolen out of the mail when I lived in Burbank.

[219] And I didn't even know it.

[220] I just got a letter from the post office being like, Here's the eight people that were involved in this, like, check -stealing ring.

[221] Oh, wow.

[222] At the post office.

[223] And then I kept getting updates about them being prosecuted, going to jail.

[224] And it bombed me out where I just all I could think about was like, why would you be stealing?

[225] First of all, why would you be messing with the mail to federal crime?

[226] Don't you know that?

[227] And then now for this dumb thing that I bet you got barely any money for.

[228] Yeah, you can't get money that way.

[229] Oh.

[230] Yeah.

[231] That's a bummer.

[232] Also, it was like a dumb residual check.

[233] It's like, you can have my $11 from the first thing I ever wrote on.

[234] God damn.

[235] Oh, this subject line is greetings from Shetland.

[236] Oh, lighthearted.

[237] And it says, hello.

[238] After almost three years, I've managed to listen to every episode of MFM from the start.

[239] Now that I'm up to date and I have to wait for new episodes, I realize how addicted I am.

[240] Right?

[241] According to my Spotify wrapped, I listened to you guys for 17 ,000.

[242] 933 minutes this year.

[243] Oh, I'm sorry.

[244] Which seems like a lot to me. You're the one listening.

[245] You're the only one that can do anything about it.

[246] Anywho, I come from Shetland, Scotland.

[247] So when Karen mentioned a while ago that she'd seen the crime drama Shetland, oh yes, I'm up to date on the most recent episode even.

[248] It was pretty exciting that you knew we existed.

[249] I didn't think I'd ever have a story to send you because despite what the TV show might lead you to believe, fuck all happens here.

[250] A lot happens in the TV show.

[251] I actually think about it a lot because that's the crime show where every time they have to go somewhere, they like, oh, there was an explosion in this house.

[252] There's always interstitial shots of like a car driving on a road for a while.

[253] Right.

[254] Because it's just way north, northern Scotland.

[255] Oh, my God.

[256] Kind of great, though, very visually.

[257] Yeah.

[258] All right.

[259] I'm 36, and in my lifetime, there have only been a couple of murders here that I'm aware of.

[260] However, my ma 'am recently told me a story about a family member that I thought might make the cut.

[261] My great -grandmother teeny, short for Christina, not totally relevant to the story, I just really like her name, had a brother called Frank.

[262] In the 20s, Frank moved down to London and got married.

[263] Unfortunately, I don't know his wife's name.

[264] And here's what these two did.

[265] Frank's wife would go out looking at, looking for a married man, the wealthier the better.

[266] She would then flirt, seduce, and take this man home with her, where Uncle Frank would be waiting.

[267] Frank would rob them.

[268] Then he and his wife would blackmail the victims into keeping quiet, threatening to tell the victim's wives and families they had tried to hook up with Frank's missus.

[269] It apparently worked for a while, but eventually they got done for it when somebody refused to pay up and they ended up in jail.

[270] This story was considered so shameful that some members of the family in my mother's generation were never told of Frank's existence.

[271] Wow.

[272] So that's my story.

[273] Hope you guys enjoyed.

[274] Stay sexy and don't do an Uncle Frank, Agnes.

[275] And then in parentheses, it says, yep, that's my name.

[276] I love it.

[277] Wow.

[278] I bet that did work for a while.

[279] That's kind of a good scheme.

[280] It's also one I feel like you could rationalize where you're like, they're the ones doing something wrong.

[281] Totally.

[282] Well, they shouldn't have gone home with me then if they didn't want consequences.

[283] Okay, my last one's called New Year's Message from a Ouija board.

[284] Hello, Karen, Georgia, pets and crew.

[285] After a year and a half of judging parents who mention that their kids listen to MFM, I have discovered that hometown episodes can stop an argument between my almost eight and 10 -year -old daughters with the flick of a finger on the podcast app.

[286] Hallelujah.

[287] Full episodes remain off limits due to content, but they are fast churning through the magnificent back catalog of minisodes.

[288] Hey, guys.

[289] Hi, guys.

[290] Sorry, we still cuss in these ones.

[291] Hey, guys, stop fighting with your sister.

[292] That's right.

[293] They have been dying to send in their hometown, and they got one.

[294] My parents have kept my childhood Ouija board in their house.

[295] We tried it out with my kids last summer, resulting in weeks of nightmares, so back down to the cellar it went.

[296] But when I visited at New Year's, the girls begged and begged to use it, and with the hours until midnight stretching long before us, and encouraged by the purient interests of their grandma, up came the Ouija board again.

[297] It provided tips on how to invest proceeds from an upcoming home sale, pay down another mortgage, what to bet on in the new year letters we should use more in wordal guesses.

[298] And in a creepier part of the session, told us it wanted our secrets but refused to say why.

[299] When my daughters took a turn on the planchette, the Ouija board really let out its best.

[300] They asked, do you have a special message for us?

[301] And then it spelled out, S, S, S, D. No. G. No. Can't be.

[302] Of course, we weren't writing letters down, and it took us a moment trying to spell it into vowel -less words to realize what the special message was.

[303] And in shockingly, they asked, are you a my favorite murder fan?

[304] And the board replied, M -F -M.

[305] No way.

[306] You hate Ouija boards.

[307] The relatability of the Ouija's taste has cured all of our game board from the beyond scaries.

[308] Thanks for making it more comfortable for my kids to reach into the mist.

[309] Stay sexy and keep the Ouija board for the next generation.

[310] Sarah, Kala and Sydney.

[311] Sarah Kala and Sydney, thanks for listening.

[312] I think that scares me. Although I just watched a TikTok where a guy talks about, it's you talking to your own subconscious.

[313] Definitely.

[314] And that's basically why the things come out that come out.

[315] And so if you're going to be super just real, scientific about it and not woo -woo in any way.

[316] It's, you know, we're in there.

[317] We're in their brains.

[318] Yeah, we are, we're our own ghosts.

[319] Yes.

[320] Now, really quick, is the word she used in the description, Purient, P -R -U -R -I -E -N -T?

[321] It's P -R -U -R -I -E -N -T.

[322] What is that?

[323] Purient.

[324] Well, I looked it up because I thought it meant like extracurricular.

[325] Uh -huh.

[326] And it's in obscenity law, a morbid degrading or excessive interest in sexual matters.

[327] So I guess she's talking about the morbid, like it's a morbid interest.

[328] Definitely.

[329] I had never heard that before.

[330] I'd heard the word but didn't really know what it meant.

[331] And so I was like, oh, I thought it meant extracurricular.

[332] But almost every definition starts with the sexual part.

[333] So I'm like, wait, wait, what?

[334] Sexual grandma?

[335] Oh, well, which leads us to my final email, the subject line being hypocrite grandma.

[336] Oh, shit.

[337] Crazy.

[338] It's happening.

[339] It's happening.

[340] Hey, murder mates, new listener from Australia, although only the minisodes so far as I have a tenuous grasp of any faith in humans and I think the longer episodes just might be the end of that.

[341] So they also only listen to minisodes.

[342] Try the survivor ones that Karen does.

[343] You'll like those.

[344] Oh yeah, that'll actually build your faith in humanity.

[345] Right, totally.

[346] Not my stories.

[347] Your stories.

[348] Okay.

[349] So jumping straight to, into my bad grandma story, and then in parentheses, it says, if I've learned anything from the 200 plus minisodes I've listened to, it's just to keep it fucking moving.

[350] Okay, so my grandma lived in a city about a two -hour flight from us and would come to stay every Christmas for about six weeks.

[351] It is summer here, and we have our long school holiday break during December and January.

[352] My parents worked full time so she would come and look after us during the holidays.

[353] When particularly hot, humid day, my grandma, or night, decided to catch a bus to the local shopping area to have a wander and lunch in the comfort of air conditioning.

[354] This was the 80s, so no air conditioning in our house.

[355] You just kind of sucked it up back then.

[356] We trekked to the bus stop and stood waiting for a bus in the hot sun at the unsheltered bus stop.

[357] My grandma was from a much cooler climate, so it was dying in the heat.

[358] While we were standing there, she was giving my 12 -year -old self a lecture about never getting into cars with strangers.

[359] While I stood there rolling my preteen eyes.

[360] About two minutes after this rant, a car pulls up at the bus stop and offers us a lift to the shops.

[361] Without hesitation, she accepts the offer and orders me to get into the car.

[362] We sat in silence through the ride while I glared at her in disbelief.

[363] When we arrived and got out of the car, she looked at me and said, now don't ever do that, and turned on her heel and strode towards the shopping center.

[364] I stood there shaking my head in disbelief.

[365] We went shopping and ate lunch and never spoke of this again, and I never did get into the car with strangers again.

[366] And then it says, P .S., her name was Ethel Agnes, May, Francis, Ann, but was known to all of us as Lady Bird, as my mom didn't feel comfortable calling her by her first name when she married my dad.

[367] So she gave her this nickname, and it stuck.

[368] She was a badass who brought up two kids alone with no money after her husband died young and often took in other family members and their children when they were down on their luck.

[369] Thanks for keeping me entertained during my long commute.

[370] You guys are amazing.

[371] And there's no name.

[372] Oh, cute.

[373] Thank you, Ethel Agnes, May, Francis, Anne's granddaughter.

[374] Lady Bird's granddaughter?

[375] Lady Bird's granddaughter.

[376] Would have been an easier way to say it.

[377] My mom loved to say, do what I say, not what I do.

[378] Yeah.

[379] My mom always fucking said.

[380] It's so annoying.

[381] That's the perfect outcloths.

[382] Yeah.

[383] Yeah.

[384] That was a good batch.

[385] It really was.

[386] Yeah.

[387] Very strong showing.

[388] Totally.

[389] Thanks, guys.

[390] Yeah.

[391] Send us your stories, whatever they may be.

[392] Oh, and stay sexy.

[393] Oh, and don't get murdered.

[394] Goodbye.

[395] Elvis, do you want a cookie?

[396] This has been an exactly right production.

[397] Our senior producer is Hannah Kyle Crichton.

[398] Our producer is Alejandra Keck.

[399] This episode was engineered and mixed by Stephen Ray Morris.

[400] Our researchers are Marin McClashin and Sarah Blair Jenkins.

[401] Email your hometowns and fucking hoorays to MyFee.

[402] favorite murder at gmail .com.

[403] Follow the show on Instagram and Facebook at My Favorite Murder and Twitter at MyFave Murder.

[404] Goodbye.

[405] Follow My Favorite Murder on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you like to listen so you don't miss an episode.

[406] If you like what you hear, rate and review the show.

[407] Visit exactly right store .com to purchase my favorite murder merch.