Armchair Anonymous: Underdogs

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[3] Welcome, welcome, welcome to Armchair Expert.

[4] Nope, Armchair Anonymous.

[5] That's the name of this show, Armchair Anonymous.

[6] It's not Armchair Expert.

[7] No, it's not.

[8] No. Don't get it twisted.

[9] No. I had to have been on such a good role.

[10] It's been a long time since I butcher.

[11] It has.

[12] Good job.

[13] Today is a story about underdogs.

[14] Some people call me a hunderdog, but I prefer Hermium Permian because that's my God -given name.

[15] Bestowed upon me by my great -great -granddad and his great -grandfather before him.

[16] Did you know that, Mrs. Monica, that I'm the 12th Hermium Permian?

[17] I didn't know that, but I'm not surprised.

[18] Good news.

[19] There's a new friend.

[20] My friend Boris.

[21] Hi, Bush.

[22] Yes.

[23] Sometimes Boris Bushman comes over.

[24] to sit with Hermium Permium.

[25] It's me, Prairie Sooner.

[26] Oh, yes.

[27] It also goes by Prairie Sooner.

[28] I forgot.

[29] Either Boris Butchman or Prairie Sooner.

[30] How long have you two known each other?

[31] Since I was born.

[32] We were born in the same hospital.

[33] At the same time?

[34] At nearly the same time.

[35] I do believe that Prairie Sooner came just about 20 minutes before Hermium Permian.

[36] And we both know how to drive cars.

[37] That's right.

[38] He has his own vehicle, and I do too.

[39] Oh, has Perry met the robot?

[40] Because it seems like you guys are all hanging out.

[41] That's a great question.

[42] I'm not going to steal that from you.

[43] Prairie, have you met some?

[44] The robot is always in my dreams, but I never met him.

[45] I'll have to have you guys both over.

[46] Sometimes I do make a casserole.

[47] It's just too much for me. And as you know, the robot doesn't eat, even though he is a real boy.

[48] I like casserole with biscuits.

[49] Wow, that was so great.

[50] Both Prairie and Hermium are underdog, so this is great.

[51] Yeah, and Hermium is really an offshoot of Prairie.

[52] Aaron and I were on a road trip to Texas in 12th grade over Christmas.

[53] Oh, no. We were following.

[54] We've been around for 30 years.

[55] Yeah, because we were on this road trip, and we were following someone pulling a camper trailer, and it was called the Prairie Schooner.

[56] And we just started saying, Prairie Schooner.

[57] Prairie Schooner.

[58] And then Prairie Schooner became a person that evolved into a client we had at GM that kind of spoke like Prairie Schooner.

[59] I'll give you the safe name, Boris Bushman.

[60] And so it evolved into Boris Buczman.

[61] And Boris is originally from Colorado, New Mexico, Arizona, USA.

[62] Oh, same as Hermann.

[63] And he works for Pontiac Oldsmobile, Chevrolet, USA.

[64] He also works for a confusing car company.

[65] Oh, wow.

[66] Okay.

[67] And we used to imagine he would call my mom in the hotel room on car show days and go, Laura, it's Boris.

[68] I can't get out of the tub.

[69] Do you think you can handle this one without me?

[70] Laura, I'm sad today.

[71] Too sad to go in.

[72] Okay, underdogs.

[73] That's what we're here to talk about.

[74] Armchair Anonymous.

[75] Oh, my God.

[76] We have our best story we've ever heard on this episode.

[77] I know.

[78] It's really incredible.

[79] Absolutely outrageous story.

[80] Yeah.

[81] And zero warnings on this one.

[82] No, zero warnings.

[83] You got to listen.

[84] It's as clean as you would expect from an underdog prom.

[85] Yeah.

[86] So please enjoy underdogs.

[87] Hard times come and go.

[88] Take them slow.

[89] My life.

[90] I had a more.

[91] I've never one thing.

[92] You got to know.

[93] I'm gonna keep on shining Yay Underdog Tells your biggest underwear story The biggest pair you've ever seen Fanky Panky Can you remember the biggest pair of underwear You've ever seen?

[94] Oh God Grandmothers or grandfathers I feel like I have an image of a huge pair But who would it be?

[95] And they're women's No, mine are wighty -tidey Oh Hello Hi, I can hear you guys Yay!

[96] Oh sorry about that I've been sitting here I was like, make sure I know what I'm doing.

[97] No, you know, and the best part is it gave me enough time because my initial thought when I saw all those tanks was acety tanks, and I thought you guys were welders.

[98] But now I see this kind of old -fashionedy diving helmet.

[99] So now I think we're in a scuba environment.

[100] Correct, scuba environment.

[101] Hold on.

[102] I'm just yelling at my wife for opening the garage door.

[103] Perfect.

[104] And I love all the colors.

[105] Do the colors designate different types or something?

[106] No, these are old tanks that don't work anymore.

[107] My husband does a scuba radio podcast.

[108] So this is his studio room.

[109] and so I made sure he set up everything.

[110] A scuba radio podcast.

[111] What is...

[112] Scuba podcast.

[113] Oh, okay, okay, okay, okay.

[114] Are you a scuba diver?

[115] I am, yes.

[116] You are, and where are you guys at?

[117] Do you have local access?

[118] Central Florida.

[119] I have to be a little vague of where I am.

[120] Okay, great.

[121] Did you guys meet scuba diving?

[122] We did, yeah.

[123] He owned a dive shop, and I was up in Canada, and it's not the meet cute stories, but he was a diver and owned a dive shop, and he was looking for a manager at the time, and I was in Canada, where I'm initially from.

[124] So now he sold the shop.

[125] He doesn't have any more.

[126] He does the scuba diving podcast.

[127] What's the name of it in case people in the audience are interested in scuba diving podcast?

[128] The scuba diving podcast with Sweetwater Scuba.

[129] Very literal.

[130] Wow, he got in on the ground floor.

[131] That's a hard name to get.

[132] Yes, for sure.

[133] Yeah, very impressed.

[134] Katie, you have an underdog story.

[135] Hard for me to believe just looking at you.

[136] I feel like probably a champion from the jump.

[137] Thank you.

[138] I appreciate that.

[139] Well, much like you, Daxon, very dyslexic.

[140] Oh, okay.

[141] congratulations.

[142] I was like, I'm going to write this story.

[143] And when they picked it, I was very surprised.

[144] I was like, that must have been the most incoherent essay I've ever written.

[145] And I haven't been in school in a long time.

[146] So I was like, all right, you know what?

[147] They're taking it and running with it.

[148] I was diagnosed very late in life.

[149] I always knew I had some learning disability, but it wasn't until my last year of high school in 2009.

[150] I got tested and I was like, oh, this is making more sense.

[151] High school was hard.

[152] My last few years, I had teachers who were like you should be in special ed why are you here yeah very nice people you know all that being in canada i did french and english so english is hard add french that oh my god no what a terrible place to be born as a dyslexic where you have to be dual language i barely could get through the first one right i had french teachers like this isn't hard and i was like oh my god like that's not helpful so leaving high school i had to go to university looking at a lot of things i was trying to figure what I want to do with my life.

[153] I love animals, but you have to do a lot of math, science.

[154] I don't have your dyslexia.

[155] Your math is a very impressive dachs.

[156] Oh, my gosh.

[157] Thank you so much for noticing.

[158] I was like, that's not the same.

[159] It's like, he doesn't have dyslexia at all.

[160] So I couldn't get into these schools for at the time I thought veterinarians was the only option to work with animals.

[161] So I did what any dyslexic does and went to art school.

[162] Okay, sure.

[163] That's what I can do.

[164] So I did that for two and a half years.

[165] After those two years, I did what any early 20 -year -old does and does traveling.

[166] And that's where I fell in love with scuba diving.

[167] When I went back home, I got my dive master and then went to Florida.

[168] And I was like, you know what?

[169] I want to do something different.

[170] So I went there, got my instructor and started teaching scuba diving.

[171] Oh, wow.

[172] Okay.

[173] I loved doing that, but it was looking for something a little different.

[174] And I fell upon a large aquarium in Florida that I started working at as a safety for the guests that come in to the aquarium and they can scuba dive there.

[175] Oh, wow.

[176] So people can dive with big fish and stuff in this tank?

[177] Exactly.

[178] Oh, my God, it must be enormous.

[179] Yeah, it's the second largest.

[180] Holy smokes.

[181] I could see where people would underestimate it and think it's deceptively safe.

[182] Most motorcyclists have career -ending injuries on little tiny motorcycles.

[183] They're riding in the backyard.

[184] They're like, yeah, I'm not going to get hurt on this.

[185] Oh, absolutely.

[186] And as long as your scuba certified, you can dive in the aquarium, which is also really unsafe because someone could have been certified 15 plus years ago, they have not dived since.

[187] Oh, God.

[188] Is there any chance that you heard any of the episodes where I've explained when I went scuba diving?

[189] Because I think it must anger scuba people so much.

[190] No, I love that.

[191] I actually was excited that you actually dive.

[192] Oh, okay, okay.

[193] But I had zero training.

[194] When I was in Bora Bora and one of the actors had their dive master with, and he's like, you'll be fine, let's go.

[195] Zero training just went straight out and scuba dope for like two hours.

[196] That's scary.

[197] I loved it.

[198] But I always think, like, oh, people that this is their world must hate that.

[199] And people, yeah.

[200] And you.

[201] Him me. Well, people who are scared, people who are Virgoes, people who know people who had bad accidents.

[202] Uh -oh.

[203] Do you know someone that went down with school?

[204] I know someone who's died.

[205] Okay.

[206] So I'm just saying, you got to be careful.

[207] It's a serious sport.

[208] It is.

[209] And that's why I really liked being an instructor.

[210] I still teach when I can.

[211] It's really interesting to see people get really nervous.

[212] And then once they get in their water, they're like, oh, or if they're like, their sharks, no, I'm not leaving you.

[213] And then they see it and like, okay, bye.

[214] And you have to bring them back a little bit.

[215] Oh, that is cool.

[216] And then fast forward two years into that, COVID hit.

[217] So there's no more guests.

[218] And that's a big part of the job.

[219] They said, you know, two weeks will be okay.

[220] We still went into work.

[221] Obviously, animals need to be taken care of.

[222] But then when they started realizing, okay, it's going to be a little bit more than two weeks and it kept going.

[223] I started to make myself available to anybody.

[224] I was like, hello, I'm here.

[225] What do you need?

[226] I got you.

[227] So a few of the teams that lost their interns, they're like, absolutely, we need help.

[228] So the manatees, really easy animals.

[229] Throw lettuce at them.

[230] They eat the lettuce.

[231] You count it.

[232] Not rocket science.

[233] I think of your wife, Daxelot, with her sloth obsession.

[234] That's my manager.

[235] I was like, you know what?

[236] Put me there all day.

[237] Leave me there.

[238] I love them.

[239] Oh, they're so sweet.

[240] Her ex -stepdad lives in one of those little islands on the west side of Florida, just above West Palm Beach.

[241] And if you go out there with a fresh garden hose and you just run the water, they'll come up and they just start gulping the water out of the hose.

[242] I'm going to cut you off.

[243] That's very illegal.

[244] Okay.

[245] Wow.

[246] Two illegal things.

[247] Luckily for me, I'm not doing it actively right now.

[248] Yeah.

[249] It's in my past.

[250] Of the illegal things I've done in my life, that doesn't even chart.

[251] But boy, are they fucking cute.

[252] They're like little, well, not little.

[253] They're enormous dogs.

[254] Yeah.

[255] They're like little potatoes.

[256] They're fantastic.

[257] Yeah.

[258] So yeah.

[259] So they're like, okay, just stand there, feed them all day.

[260] That's your job.

[261] Throughout COVID, the, more the area was shut down, like, we still need your help.

[262] Can you help with this and this and this?

[263] And it built so much that by the time the parks were opening up again, they said, hey, do you want to stay and be on this team?

[264] So I became a marine mammal specialist.

[265] Oh, my God, look this.

[266] You wanted to go into veterinarian care.

[267] Look at the circuitous route.

[268] I love that.

[269] So wait, now you work with the team that handles the animals?

[270] I do, yeah.

[271] So my day is half working with dolphins and my other half working.

[272] working with manatees.

[273] Oh, my goodness.

[274] You got around that stupid dyslexia.

[275] Stupid, yeah.

[276] I hate to say it, but you know what we're going to ask.

[277] Oh, Lord, we are.

[278] These dolphins ever try to get frisky with you?

[279] They're very famous for trying to do so.

[280] Not with us, but with each other, sure, all the time.

[281] Okay, okay.

[282] That's encouraged.

[283] They are sexual creatures.

[284] It's their body, their choice.

[285] It's all internal, but when it's not internal, it comes out.

[286] They like to expose themselves in front of guests.

[287] And I'm like, thank you for that.

[288] Thank you.

[289] They're exhibitionist.

[290] The dolphin penis is alarmingly large the first time you see it.

[291] Insane.

[292] Yeah.

[293] It's a couple feet.

[294] I mean, maybe not.

[295] Yeah.

[296] Wow.

[297] And it doesn't match the rest of the dolphin.

[298] So you really see it when it's out.

[299] Is it a different color?

[300] Yeah.

[301] It's usually tucked away.

[302] When they let that freak flag fly, boy, it turns some heads.

[303] Perverted.

[304] I would love to go back to high school and tell those teachers like, yeah, I did something.

[305] Yes.

[306] Yeah, guess what?

[307] I get to do what a marine biologist does, maybe even better.

[308] And then with guests coming all the time, I feel horrible because I have these bright -eyed little teenagers like, oh, what did you just go to school for?

[309] I'm like, I'm an art student.

[310] Yeah, yeah, for drawing.

[311] Do you have any crazy relationship with any of the dolphins that you feel is like weirdly connected, spiritual, or like one in particular or anything?

[312] Sure.

[313] I mean, it's funny to see how they react to all of us trainers as far as I was one of the newer ones in, and I'm the substitute teacher.

[314] So they can get away with doing things.

[315] Oh, wow.

[316] Versus the older trainers, it's like, okay, nope, this is what they want.

[317] This is their criteria.

[318] So different personalities and older ones are, I've been at this for too long.

[319] Like, I don't.

[320] And then the younger ones are wanting to please you.

[321] So they're very excited.

[322] They're vocalizing.

[323] They yell at me and they know I will hand fish.

[324] Oh, my God, you're so cute.

[325] I'm a huge sucker.

[326] Oh, they're so manipulative.

[327] Oh, yeah.

[328] It's insane.

[329] You're going to act all cute and it's going to work.

[330] One time I got that as my Patronus.

[331] I don't know what a Patronus is, and I don't know what it is.

[332] On Harry Potter, I got Dolphin.

[333] So if you go to Pottermore website, in the books, you have like a protective animal.

[334] I know this, yes.

[335] That's sort of like is you.

[336] No, a stag, just like a stag.

[337] Right, right, sorry.

[338] And you can go on Pottermore and take the test.

[339] And you got a dolphin?

[340] I've done it a lot of times because I want to keep seeing, but one of them is a dolphin.

[341] Well, it's because you're a purve.

[342] I would have felt flattered by that.

[343] Yeah.

[344] If I didn't get a dolphin, I would sue the website.

[345] I feel like, Monica, you need to make him do that test.

[346] Didn't you guys do that?

[347] Well, we did the regular.

[348] And it bit me because I started talking poorly about Hufflepuff.

[349] People got upset.

[350] I'm a Hufflepuff.

[351] Oh, see, yeah, and you're great.

[352] I love Hufflepuffs.

[353] I forget what I said, but it really...

[354] Sorry to interrupt.

[355] No, don't worry about it.

[356] It literally just opened again, period.

[357] You're sure no one has the remote, question mark?

[358] Am I sitting on it or something?

[359] This is insane.

[360] Could it be in the couch?

[361] Cushions.

[362] You're going to watch us do some housekeeping right now.

[363] Oh, it just did it again.

[364] What in the flying fuckballs?

[365] And now a third time.

[366] This is honestly amazing.

[367] I feel like it might be in here, but I don't.

[368] Oh, oh, oh, oh.

[369] No way.

[370] Oh my God.

[371] Opening the garage.

[372] I didn't do that.

[373] Oh, my God, exclamation point.

[374] Monica just found it buried in her lazy boy.

[375] and was triggering it every time she moved.

[376] Oh, boy.

[377] Well, that solves that.

[378] Well, you saw a mystery resolved.

[379] I love every minute of that.

[380] Wow.

[381] That was actually really impressive that it activated that.

[382] I know.

[383] No, we were interviewing someone yesterday, and it opened and closed like seven times, and I'm literally like, I'm going to go in and kill every member of my family.

[384] How could they not know that you can't open and close the garage the whole time we're recording?

[385] Oh, my God.

[386] I'm glad you witnessed that.

[387] Well, I love your underdog story.

[388] Me too.

[389] Thanks for sharing it.

[390] Absolutely.

[391] I love that you guys do this.

[392] It's so fun.

[393] And it was an incoherent message.

[394] So whoever had to read that, I appreciate that they ticked.

[395] Emma, our All -Star.

[396] I'm way better at speaking.

[397] That was a part of my dyslexia test.

[398] They're like, your social is way high that shouldn't be there.

[399] Yeah.

[400] Do you find that you have a suspiciously good memory for oral stories?

[401] Yes.

[402] I think it's because the only thing you're going to learn is what you memorize that the teacher said.

[403] If you don't get it there, you're not going to get it.

[404] Yeah.

[405] And I listen to so many podcasts now.

[406] And I just come home and I'm like, let me tell you about this.

[407] Right.

[408] And you can just reiterate the whole thing.

[409] Yeah.

[410] Ask me to read something.

[411] No, gone.

[412] It's been funny in this being in this field now.

[413] I'm in these rooms with these people who've gone to school for all this stuff.

[414] And I'm just like, I'm having imposter syndrome.

[415] I don't know what you're talking about anymore.

[416] I'm very lucky of management and people around me to put me into the right places.

[417] You did it.

[418] You got yourself there.

[419] It's really impressive.

[420] Yeah, we rule.

[421] Don't let anyone tell you differently.

[422] I totally agree.

[423] It's more fun.

[424] Us and left handers.

[425] I mean, they're also pretty.

[426] respect.

[427] I'm left handler too.

[428] Oh my god.

[429] Oh my god.

[430] Katie, we're meant to be together.

[431] I love it.

[432] If you guys are ever...

[433] Believe me, now I'll have to stop by.

[434] I can do a little backstage.

[435] I can show you how big the aquarium is.

[436] I can show you where we do our rehab manatees.

[437] That's really cool to be a part of as well.

[438] We get to put some manatee back out into the wilds.

[439] Well, when you're not looking, I'm going to feed them fresh water out of a garden hose.

[440] Perfect, excellent.

[441] All right.

[442] Well, great meeting you.

[443] And scuba dive without any instruction.

[444] Just jump in.

[445] It's fine.

[446] I allow it.

[447] Well, Katie, great meeting you.

[448] And thank you for telling us that story.

[449] Yeah, absolutely.

[450] It was so nice meeting you.

[451] All right, take care.

[452] Well, it's always good to get more info on dolphins.

[453] So much happened in that interview.

[454] I mean, that whole garage thing was really something.

[455] Yeah, I'm glad we figured it out.

[456] And I guess the previous episode will be an Easter egg.

[457] Hopefully, if you like listen to all the shows in the week, what a resolution.

[458] It won't have come out yet.

[459] It won't?

[460] Uh -uh.

[461] Well, when you're listening to an upcoming February, episode and you hear the garage door opening and closing nonstop and then hearing my voice tension with my anger towards my family you'll know that it was our doing the whole time okay let's talk to alexander i didn't get there it probably slid out of my farted in it no it's probably in my shorty short pants i bet it was when i came up to talk to you and liz while i was working out and sat in that chair and it probably slid out of my pocket like two months ago y 'all my god hello hi did you like that you caught us candid mid -conversation.

[462] That was like the dream I was having about how this would be.

[463] I was like, I bet they'll be chatting and I'll get to see them being friends.

[464] Which is like my favorite part of the whole podcast.

[465] What if when you signed down we were putting our shirts back on?

[466] That would be nerve -wracking, wasn't it?

[467] I would be like, I'm really glad they found a way to, like, love each other.

[468] And, like, I'm sure they all worked it out.

[469] What are these cute, are they mugs?

[470] Those are shoes poking out of a shoehold.

[471] These are shoes.

[472] I'm in my closet.

[473] This is the first time I've ever read all the directions on a thing in my whole life.

[474] Oh, congrats.

[475] Oh, man. I appreciate it.

[476] No, congrats to you guys.

[477] Dax, happy belated birthday.

[478] Thank you.

[479] I'm very happy you were born.

[480] And Monica, I'm very sorry for your loss.

[481] I'm sure the Earth feels pretty weird right now.

[482] So I'm just thinking of you.

[483] That's so kind.

[484] Thank you.

[485] Of course.

[486] Can we pause for two seconds?

[487] Can you look at it and see it as mugs?

[488] I can see how you see it.

[489] Do you?

[490] Okay.

[491] I appreciate that.

[492] I would need three or four grams of mushrooms, I think, to see mugs there.

[493] Okay, all right.

[494] It's like a magic guy.

[495] Okay.

[496] We must hear your underdog story.

[497] I'm ready to dive in.

[498] So this one takes place in southeastern Connecticut, which is near Monday's interview, Paul Giamatti.

[499] Where he's from?

[500] Yes, I got to see him in Hamlet, actually, when I was in high school.

[501] And I didn't realize what an amazing opportunity that was.

[502] And now I'm like, what the fuck?

[503] You saw Paul Giamatti as Hamlet.

[504] Yeah.

[505] I'll have to do some backwork.

[506] now to convince you that I was an underdog.

[507] I'm going to give you guys a little bit of context because I feel like it's really generous to call myself an underdog because ultimately in the wider context of the world, I've had an amazing life.

[508] Like I have wonderful parents, great opportunities, but in this specific context, I felt like maybe I was a little bit of an underdog.

[509] So my parents had me when they were 17 and they stayed together, which was pretty amazing.

[510] And they went on to have three more much younger children than me, have progressively improved with each model.

[511] They crushed it.

[512] They worked really hard to give us an awesome life.

[513] And I've always really struggled with my mental health.

[514] I'm pretty sure, like, I came out of the womb just like, there's something fucking going on with this place.

[515] Just so anxious.

[516] I got diagnosed with ADHD, or not ADHD.

[517] That was recent.

[518] I got diagnosed with OCD in third grade.

[519] I had a lot going on.

[520] And then I switched elementary schools.

[521] Then I went to a charter school for middle school, which I also loved middle school.

[522] Oh.

[523] Then I went back to the local public school, which was a different experience.

[524] I hadn't seen a lot of these people since I've switched schools.

[525] Some boys in one of my classes bullied me. So I ended up deciding that maybe I should switch schools because I just am really struggling in this context.

[526] And I got to go to a local private school, literally because the guidance counselor liked my personality.

[527] I buy that.

[528] Yeah, me too.

[529] Oh, wow.

[530] Thank you.

[531] That's so helpful of you to say.

[532] When you were diagnosed in third grade with OCD, is it because you had a tremendous amount of tics like I did?

[533] I had a lot of really weird routines and habits and fears.

[534] So my hands would be like bloody because I'd wash them so much.

[535] Monica, on sync, you talked about it, making up these like superstitions in your head.

[536] Always.

[537] Like for my whole life, I had like a great fear of my dad getting in a car accident.

[538] Even though no one I'd ever known had gotten in a car accident, it was tough.

[539] It's all consuming.

[540] Yes.

[541] That's like all I did is monitor whether I was doing things even.

[542] in our odd numbers of time.

[543] I couldn't think about anything else.

[544] I still count.

[545] I'm an odd number kind of girl.

[546] Oh, freaky.

[547] It's weird for most things.

[548] Anyways, they did whatever they could like scrape together scholarships so that I could go, but it was still like a really big financial stretch for my parents.

[549] So I started the school in my sophomore year and there was 50 kids in my graduating class.

[550] Many of them had been in school together since kindergarten.

[551] And I think what came to be pretty obvious very quickly was that my life experience was very different than theirs.

[552] Like, I wasn't going on class trips.

[553] The opportunity for me was going to the school, whereas their opportunities were like the whole wide world.

[554] Yeah.

[555] Yeah.

[556] The teachers were amazing.

[557] It was a very good school and had an awesome theater program, which is kind of my wheelhouse.

[558] So I only found a group through doing theater, which is pretty common, I think.

[559] Yeah.

[560] And then the Spring of my junior year, they announced that the musical was going to be Chicago.

[561] I've been hoping for Les Miserables because playing Eponine was like my life dream.

[562] I wasn't going to go to college for theater or anything.

[563] So I was like, okay, this is my chance.

[564] I decided that I was going to audition for Roxy.

[565] For the layperson, I, e. me, is that the lead?

[566] That's one of the two leads.

[567] So there's two female leads.

[568] There's Velma and then there's Roxy.

[569] Is Roxy loose?

[570] Because that's a fun name, Roxy.

[571] She is loose.

[572] She's kind of like naughty.

[573] and she's like, it's not a very good person.

[574] So I thought it's kind of be fun.

[575] Yeah, she's a very fun character to play.

[576] And I love her songs.

[577] And she had fewer songs.

[578] So I was like, perfect.

[579] This will be the less competitive role.

[580] So cut to the summer.

[581] I got this great boyfriend who kind of like walked the line of the theater kids and the really popular rich kids.

[582] Wow.

[583] He was like, Paul and handsome.

[584] You can imagine how it went, though.

[585] It was a high school relationship.

[586] So it wasn't great, but he was really in the theater.

[587] So we spent all summer.

[588] learning all the songs.

[589] He was auditioning for the lawyer, Billy Flynn, and he and Roxy has a song where she sits on his lap and is like a puppet.

[590] Oh, he must have loved that.

[591] Yeah.

[592] We choreographed it over the summer.

[593] Auditions have not happened.

[594] Right.

[595] You guys are just working all summer on this.

[596] We're prepared.

[597] I do the audition.

[598] I put literally my all into it.

[599] Like I got into costume.

[600] And I'm sure you guys are picking up on what is going to happen.

[601] I didn't get cast as Roxy, which is fine.

[602] This happens.

[603] But it's sad.

[604] Compounding it is now her boyfriend's going to have another gal on his lap.

[605] Yeah, because he got it, obviously, because he's handsome and one of the three boys that auditioned.

[606] Right, the only three boys that weren't afraid.

[607] At the time, it was so devastating, and it kind of like catapulted me into my first of many depressive episodes, which was like a fun, full new experience for senior year.

[608] And the girl who did get cast, the worst part was that she is a wonderful person.

[609] that's the worst one you can't hate them yeah she's like so beautiful and she's Scandinavian which is cool and like all the guys liked her because she was so innocent they wanted to corrupt her oh sexy baby syndrome and the theater director we're going to call her miss he she had favorites i used using b because she's a bitch she's a bitch be honest miss c oh what i don't know what you thought of i thought of Christmas Christmas.

[610] I thought of the other C word because I studied abroad in New Zealand and that's their favorite.

[611] Oh yeah, yeah.

[612] It means nothing else.

[613] I love when I travel and I get to throw it around.

[614] Me too.

[615] I try it into improv one time when I got back to the States and it didn't go super well.

[616] So she had favorites.

[617] I wasn't one of them.

[618] I think she didn't really like my personality in general.

[619] Like I have a pretty big personality.

[620] Is it fair to say you're going to love it or hate it?

[621] No one's going to be neutral on it.

[622] Exactly.

[623] It comes out that a local community theater is doing lame as Rob.

[624] And I'm like, you know what?

[625] Let's audition.

[626] Like, this is one more chance.

[627] So I decide a little bit out of spite to run my audition by Miss B before I go do it to try and get some feedback to make it seem like I was evolved.

[628] But I really also just wanted her to see like, hey, I'm really actually okay.

[629] Yeah.

[630] Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[631] My dream role was Eponine, who is one of the more like romantic leads.

[632] She falls in love and she doesn't get it and she dies.

[633] So it's like a fun thing.

[634] That's like you were horny in high school.

[635] Is that?

[636] fair to say?

[637] I love boys and I still do.

[638] Yeah.

[639] I feel like we're really similar.

[640] I do the audition for her.

[641] She like is like, yeah, good.

[642] It was great.

[643] And then I do the audition for the community theater.

[644] I don't get cast.

[645] And then a few weeks later, I am in Miss B's acting class during the day and me and two other girls are running a scene in the hallway.

[646] And Miss B has given us these clipboards and I got a clipboard that happens to open and I am just like messing with it and I open it inside the clipboard are notes from the Chicago auditions.

[647] So I like close it really fast and I'm like guys we can't look at these right and they're like yeah no we can't and then we all kind of collectively decide that we are going to look at them because me and one of the other girls did not get the roles we auditioned for we got much smaller roles in Chicago.

[648] We were the jail girls so I was going to, like, get hung as the Hungarian girl.

[649] So fun.

[650] We do this, and then we all take a vow of silence.

[651] We read the audition notes.

[652] We find out why we did or did not get our roles.

[653] This could be wonderful.

[654] Or horrible.

[655] Look, no one wants to hear the truth, but sometimes it could be really helpful to hear the truth.

[656] That's a side conversation.

[657] What you're remarked out?

[658] Mine actually didn't provide any clarity.

[659] They said it was too much likeness to Renee Zellwiger in the movie, and I was like, that is the most insane thing you could possibly say.

[660] Also, flattering.

[661] So flattering, but definitely inaccurate.

[662] But a few weeks later, it is finals week, and I'm doing a final in the classroom that's right outside of her office with this other girl that also didn't get one of the roles that I had looked at the notes with.

[663] And we get called into Ms. B's office.

[664] And I'm like, oh, my God, the third girl snitched.

[665] Oh, yoy, yoy, yoy.

[666] Three can keep a secret if two are dead.

[667] That's what they said.

[668] So she has a sit down on the couch, and then she hands us each two pieces of paper stapled together.

[669] And I'm like, is there a paper trail of our indiscretion?

[670] Is she showing us the notes from the auditions to see if we recognize them and see our reaction?

[671] So I then proceed to read, and it's the draft of an email that she's printed.

[672] And the first page says that we have lost the rights to Chicago, and we will not be doing Chicago.

[673] Okay.

[674] So I look at her and I'm like, what does this mean?

[675] And she goes, turn the page.

[676] And then I turn the page and it says that we are going to do Les Miserables instead.

[677] No. This is so exciting.

[678] You're so excited.

[679] I'm so excited, too.

[680] I'm so happy for you.

[681] The cast list is like underneath it.

[682] Sure enough, my name is next to Epinine's name.

[683] Oh, you got your dream role.

[684] Oh, I love this.

[685] So now she's Mrs. G. Yeah, she's Mrs. B for best.

[686] Okay, B for B for B. We could keep her B. She called us in because like we both had minor roles that were that.

[687] bumped up to lead roles and she was like, don't fuck it up, basically.

[688] And I was like, I won't.

[689] And I have literally never taken anything more seriously in my life.

[690] Like, I worked so hard at it and it ended up being so rewarding and fulfilling.

[691] Oh, I love this.

[692] What a turn of events.

[693] This is a great, great story.

[694] But also, I have been practicing impulse control for the last nine minutes because I did the math.

[695] So if you moved to the new school, you were in 10th grade and you said at the time you had an 8 -year -old sibling, that means the 8 -year -old was born when you were in second grade, which to me means your OCD in third grade was a direct result of that.

[696] Ooh, I don't think anyone in the whole world has put that together before.

[697] Because, you know, it was explained to me, like I had all these ticks.

[698] And then later in life, and I think I've told the story, I met a gal who had a form of OCD where she'd pull her eyelashes out.

[699] And then she said to me, well, you know why you have that?

[700] And I said, no. and she said, because you're trying to control a situation when your environment becomes very uncontrollable and uncomfortable and distasteful for you.

[701] And so I'm thinking here, you had been an only child for seven years.

[702] With teen parents who gave me so much attention.

[703] Yes, and then this new creature arrives, and they have to care for her and love her.

[704] Your whole world change.

[705] And now you start trying to control bizarre things because everything got upended.

[706] You really are an armchair expert.

[707] That was really good.

[708] But I think the only other inciting event was that they taught us about HIV in third grade, which is like really not developmentally appropriate for a third grader.

[709] You're not fucking for quite some time or shooting dope.

[710] No, but they made it seem like we'll just get it.

[711] I was like afraid to touch surfaces.

[712] Yes.

[713] I can only feel so bad for you guys because when I was that age, they showed us the day after, which is what would happen after nuclear holocaust, because we were at the height of the Cold War and the nuclear scare.

[714] Also, great info for a second grader.

[715] Yeah.

[716] Yeah, they need to be more careful about what they show children.

[717] Curriculums.

[718] And, like, I still feel like calling myself an underdog is so generous, but, like, it wasn't an easy situation I was walking into.

[719] This isn't a, you're an underdog in life throughout life.

[720] These are individual stories with individual outcomes.

[721] Well, articulated.

[722] Well, not well articulated at all, but that's okay.

[723] I feel like you just made fun of me, and now I'm an underdog.

[724] In that vein, I just want to say, you guys started the podcast the year I started teaching.

[725] I had a commute that was an hour each way, and you guys were there for each hour.

[726] And I've still continued to, like, struggle a lot with my mental health.

[727] You guys have been there my whole formative adulthood years.

[728] No. That made me feel less crazy and made me like myself more.

[729] And I'm just very grateful for you guys.

[730] I'm such a huge fan.

[731] Thank you, Alex.

[732] You call that old boyfriend.

[733] Yes.

[734] You call him and you tell him.

[735] Eat my shorts.

[736] Mike.

[737] That's right.

[738] Yeah, I will.

[739] I'll tell him you said that specifically.

[740] And I'll meet him at Arby's if he wants.

[741] Oh, boy.

[742] I'll send them your way.

[743] But shout out to my mom and dad.

[744] They're going to listen.

[745] And my wonderful pair is in my classroom.

[746] Jen and Dana, you guys are amazing.

[747] I'm just, like, very grateful for everything.

[748] So thank you, bye.

[749] Well, it's been a delight meeting you.

[750] And I loved your story.

[751] Thank you, Dad, and Monica.

[752] Bye.

[753] Bye, bye.

[754] I just discovered.

[755] You have a bump?

[756] Maybe.

[757] I don't know if it's cancer or a pimple.

[758] I better pop it and see if it's cancer.

[759] Let me see it.

[760] I know what's cancer.

[761] It's right on the cherry that's in the mouth.

[762] See, it's raised?

[763] Oh, was me to update you on this?

[764] You know, I had a cyst.

[765] Well, I had like three cyst pimples recently.

[766] Oh, you did?

[767] And I got into one with a needle on Friday, which you're never supposed to do.

[768] But it worked out.

[769] It did?

[770] Yeah, I made it way, way smaller and all the tension went away, and I got, like, weird stuff out.

[771] Did you put any, like, salicylic in there after you used the needle on it?

[772] No, I should have probably.

[773] but I was delighted it never goes right it's like I poke a hole in it and I'm pushing nothing comes out and this is bigger this one actually this is the one in 20 that worked yeah congrats it was your birthday I've been thinking about telling you that for a long time I appreciate the facialist will go in with a needle but it's like she has to do it she knows how to do it I gotta start seeing her I really liked Alex me too I love that she loves boys I love people that love boys I know you do internet to self -diagnose our inexplicable pains, debilitating body aches, sudden fevers, and strange rashes.

[774] Though our minds tend to spiral to worst -case scenarios, it's usually nothing, but for an unlucky few, these unsuspecting symptoms can start the clock ticking on a terrifying medical mystery.

[775] Like the unexplainable death of a retired firefighter, whose body was found at home by his son, except it looked like he had been cremated, or the time when an entire town started jumping from buildings and seeing tigers on their ceilings.

[776] Hey listeners, it's Mr. Ballin here, and I'm here to tell you about my podcast.

[777] It's called Mr. Ballin's Medical Mysteries.

[778] Each terrifying true story will be sure to keep you up at night.

[779] Follow Mr. Ballin's Medical Mysteries wherever you get your podcasts.

[780] Prime members can listen early and ad -free on Amazon Music.

[781] What's up, guys?

[782] This is your girl Kiki, and my podcast is back with a new season, and let me tell you, it's too good.

[783] And I'm diving into the brains of entertainment's best and...

[784] brightest, okay?

[785] Every episode, I bring on a friend and have a real conversation.

[786] And I don't mean just friends.

[787] I mean the likes of Amy Poehler, Kell Mitchell, Vivica Fox.

[788] The list goes on.

[789] So follow, watch, and listen to Baby.

[790] This is Kiki Palmer on the Wondery app or wherever you get your podcast.

[791] Hello.

[792] Hello.

[793] Hi.

[794] How are you?

[795] Is this Alana?

[796] Well, kind of.

[797] It's Elena.

[798] Oh, Elena.

[799] In your defense, it's kind of spelled wrong.

[800] No, it's not.

[801] I would say no. It's spelled correctly, but generally people that have it spelled this way would still say Alana, which is frustrating.

[802] The English language, it's flawed.

[803] In Elena of Avedore, Avondale?

[804] Wait, Arundale?

[805] What is it?

[806] Elena of Avidore.

[807] No, oh, you're thinking of E -L -E -N -A.

[808] Elena of...

[809] Avalar.

[810] Something.

[811] Of the Disney movie.

[812] Yes.

[813] I know where you're going.

[814] I made it worse, and I blew it.

[815] I'm sorry.

[816] Elena, where are you at in the country?

[817] I'm in Winter Park, Colorado, right now.

[818] but I reside in Reno, Nevada.

[819] I have to follow up by saying that my husband runs a nonprofit in California, and that's why we live in Reno.

[820] Okay.

[821] And I'm going to follow that up with saying that your brow game is on point.

[822] It is really nice.

[823] And your highlights are effortless and elegant.

[824] Wow.

[825] These are not compliments I was expecting for that.

[826] What do you think I was going to say?

[827] I didn't even know you understood eyebrows and hair like that.

[828] You know, I know eyebrows.

[829] I know, but not like.

[830] Hair might be a revelation, but.

[831] But not like how perfect they are.

[832] I can't tell you how much that means to me right now.

[833] You know, I hate to.

[834] Uh -oh.

[835] I know.

[836] What am I going to say?

[837] It's hard to think that you'll be an underdog because you're so beautiful.

[838] Boom.

[839] Thanks for saying it for me. But we all know being hot doesn't get you out of being an underdog.

[840] I know.

[841] You know what us humans, man. We are left to the devices of this world.

[842] So I will kick it.

[843] off.

[844] And I'm going to let Monica know this is going to be a little bit of a roller coaster.

[845] There's going to be some highs and lows.

[846] Oh, boy.

[847] But I'm trying to live at six and a half now.

[848] Do you think you're going to get any screams out of Moni, who also has great eyebrows?

[849] Thank you.

[850] But not right now.

[851] Don't look at them.

[852] They're snatched.

[853] Thank you.

[854] I think there might be a moment where you like, I hate that.

[855] Okay.

[856] I like the prep.

[857] Okay.

[858] So I have to give you a little bit of background because my birth origin story has something to do with it.

[859] So I was the third of four born to a waitress and a coal miner, which doesn't start off strong, but I have as much potential as any other person a lot, right?

[860] Of course.

[861] Were you in Appalachia?

[862] Where is coal mining still happening?

[863] My dad was born and raised in Arkansas, but I was born in New Mexico, little town called Farmington in the northwest corner.

[864] About nine months after I was born, my dad was hit and killed by a drunk driver on Christmas Eve.

[865] Oh, my God.

[866] So that's like my first ace point, right?

[867] Yeah.

[868] My mom did not handle it well.

[869] She was 24 at the time.

[870] Just had her third child.

[871] We lived as best we could for about five years.

[872] My mom had moved us to Las Vegas, Nevada.

[873] And at the time, my grandparents came to visit.

[874] We were homeless living in a trailer.

[875] Oh, okay.

[876] Kind of the second East score, I would say.

[877] My grandparents moved in and decided that they were, would adopt me and my sister.

[878] Was mom having some addiction issues at this point?

[879] Drugs and alcohol were at play.

[880] So you probably have four.

[881] I mean, it seems like you're 10, honestly, already.

[882] I don't remember my childhood, so I know it was like all kinds of traumatic.

[883] So my mom did end up with a mental illness that started around that time.

[884] So it was so hard.

[885] And I don't have any resentment towards her at all.

[886] It's just the hand that she was dealt.

[887] She was playing it the best she could.

[888] So my grandparents, they came in and they really gave me this incredible second chance of life.

[889] And my brother stayed with my mom, which is a totally different story and also kind of traumatic.

[890] But the best thing that my grandparents did for me was they introduced me to sports at a young age.

[891] They got me in a T -ball at five.

[892] A jock was born.

[893] Sporty Spice came into the room and started to just go ham on little guy T -ball.

[894] I'm like, first base, second base, third base, point.

[895] Let's go.

[896] Like, it made a lot of sense to me. And then I picked up volleyball and basketball.

[897] I played boys and girls' clubs growing up and picked up snowboarding, which I loved so much.

[898] And then as I got into high school, I was really focused on fast pitch softball.

[899] It's hoping it was like my ticket out of my small town was actually being actively recruited my senior in high school by LSU, which I know SEC stuff comes into play.

[900] So I'm on fire.

[901] Totally looking back, I can see how I had some red flags going, like risk -taking behavior, over -drinking at parties.

[902] The ACE scores are playing as well.

[903] They show up whether you like it or not.

[904] Sports was really what kept me on track, though.

[905] That was like my saving grace.

[906] So the turning point comes my senior in high school.

[907] It was actually November 19th of 2000 when we had just gotten a ton of snowfall, like five foot.

[908] And I mentioned I'm from northern Mexico, which is about 14.

[909] minutes from Durango, Colorado.

[910] I was going to say that, and then I knew Monica would be like, shut up with the geography.

[911] My first thought was Durango.

[912] I think you would fly into Durango to go to your place, probably.

[913] Exactly.

[914] Which is also then an hour from Telluride -ish.

[915] Here we go.

[916] That's why we started.

[917] Okay.

[918] Yeah, that's the nearest ski resort.

[919] And also the backcountry stuff is really fun out there.

[920] And so the night before November 19th of 2000, me and a bunch of my friends decided we wanted to go out snowboarding in the backcountry.

[921] It was well before the resorts opened.

[922] For anybody that's a skier, they know it's pretty early in the season.

[923] We go out.

[924] Everybody's really hyped up.

[925] We had been talking about doing backflips all summer long.

[926] And I knew that I wanted to try my first backflip on a snowboard the first chance I got, really.

[927] So I could do a backflip on a trampoline with my snowboard attached.

[928] I did flat ground backflips all the time.

[929] I was like, low -key obsessed with it.

[930] So, November 19th comes, we go out into the back country.

[931] Everybody's having a really great day.

[932] The snow is awesome.

[933] But there wasn't really a base to speak up.

[934] Yeah, so rocks are exposed.

[935] Oh my.

[936] Exactly.

[937] Yeah.

[938] I know, Monty.

[939] I know.

[940] So I'm up on the top of this hill.

[941] We had built this jump and we had been hitting it all day.

[942] And as I'm standing on the top of that jump, very impulsively, I look over at my friend J .C. And I say, hey, I'm going to try that backflip.

[943] And before he could say a word, I'm sliding down that hill.

[944] And I'm thinking to myself, the last thing I want to do is under -rotate this.

[945] So as I approach the jump, I throw my feet as hard as I can.

[946] And as I finish the first flip and I go for the second, I know it's all going south.

[947] I did a one -and -a -half backflip, landed directly on my back on the snow and what I later learned was a four -foot boulder.

[948] And so I broke my back in three places and was paralyzed upon impact.

[949] Oh my god.

[950] And it wasn't that painful.

[951] It was so shocking, like electrifying.

[952] The sound was like this big electrical sprung and then it kind of left my body in a wave down to my toes.

[953] My buddy J .C. runs over, asks me what's going on?

[954] And I said, I don't have any idea of where are my board of my boots?

[955] And he said with fear in his eyes that they were on my feet.

[956] Oh, man. I knew something was terribly wrong.

[957] Would there be like no way I can understand?

[958] I was paralyzed upon impact.

[959] So, you know, I lay on the snow for about an hour and a half.

[960] This is back in 2000.

[961] We don't have cell phones.

[962] Our friends are freaking out running to go get help.

[963] About an hour and a half later, the helicopter lands, I get airlifted out, taken to the hospital, undergo about an eight -hour back reconstruction surgery.

[964] I blew out T -11.

[965] It was shattered.

[966] And so those bones flew through my spinal cord.

[967] Oh, my God.

[968] Yeah, I'm an incomplete T -12 injury, which means I was able to get some function back.

[969] And I'm an athlete.

[970] I can't be paralyzed.

[971] That's like putting a bird in cage.

[972] Like, that's my thing.

[973] Yeah, yeah.

[974] Your identity.

[975] The long and short of it is the doctor came in, told me what a spinal cord injury was, told me it was the only organ in your whole body that doesn't regenerate after you injure it.

[976] And that whatever I get back in the following two years is what I would probably have for the rest of my life.

[977] So in my 17 year old head, I'm like, let's go.

[978] Rehab it is.

[979] I'm going to figure this out.

[980] And this doctor doesn't know how strong and capable I am, all these things.

[981] I love my naive self for that.

[982] I love that my mind and body were connected.

[983] and I really believed that I was going to walk again and all these things.

[984] Well, two years come around and nothing's really changed.

[985] I've done all the work.

[986] I've dedicated my life to walking again.

[987] And that's when like the lowest point of my story is.

[988] And I'm just really in a place where I genuinely don't want to be here.

[989] Yeah.

[990] Like I don't want to live this particular life anymore.

[991] Right.

[992] And I call it a God moment and I'm not religious, but it was too sim.

[993] So I'm at my lowest place and I'm taking a choice.

[994] shortcut through the auxiliary gym at the University of New Mexico, where I ended up going.

[995] Really quick, are you at a stage where you're using a walker or are you in a wheelchair at this point?

[996] I'm in a wheelchair.

[997] So when I was doing my rehab, I had Long Lake braces, very much like Forrest Gump style.

[998] Like those haven't changed a lot.

[999] So I was up on braces.

[1000] I was standing and walking, but my brain and my body aren't connected anymore.

[1001] The spinal cord is the information highway and it was not working.

[1002] I went off to college at U &M.

[1003] I was genuinely so disappointed.

[1004] And I, Loki was so mad I couldn't wear high heels or flip -flops.

[1005] I'm 18.

[1006] You know, it's hard.

[1007] I'm taking the shortcut through the gym.

[1008] And I look up and I see this entire group of people playing wheelchair basketball.

[1009] I didn't even know that there were other people my age that were in wheelchairs.

[1010] Like, I didn't see anybody on a daily basis.

[1011] Let a little.

[1012] Let a little.

[1013] alone did I see or know about adaptive sports.

[1014] So I'm like timeout, jaw -dropping moment.

[1015] I saw these people like crashing into each other, falling over, getting up, shooting three -point stationary shots and thinking it.

[1016] And I'm like, this is legitimately amazing.

[1017] Yes.

[1018] Everything changed that day.

[1019] That day I got into a basketball chair.

[1020] And for the first time in two years, I pushed really hard and I got my heart rate going and the endorphins were flowing.

[1021] sweating and I'm like, I'm running.

[1022] Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[1023] You're flying down a court.

[1024] I'm flying and I'm looking over at these guys with no legs or that are paralyzed more than me. And I'm like, you guys are not excusing yourselves from your life.

[1025] You're in it.

[1026] You're making the most of it, right?

[1027] So it was like this very important moment that I couldn't deny was happening.

[1028] I think you would relate a lot to that moment.

[1029] Like AA, there's this common denominator that brings everybody into the same room.

[1030] But everybody's so different.

[1031] And there's so many different characters.

[1032] I don't know you from Adam, but because you're disabled, we're going to be friends now.

[1033] And it was so therapeutic.

[1034] What happened that day was really the beginning of my next chapter.

[1035] And so from that point on, I played community ball at U &M, learned about a program at the University of Arizona, moved out there, played with the women's wheelchair basketball team there, got recruited to play at the University of Alabama.

[1036] Roll time, baby.

[1037] allow this today.

[1038] Today and today only.

[1039] This is a one -time reprieve on Roll Tide.

[1040] I did my graduate work at Alabama, played wheelchair basketball there while I was preparing to go to my very first Paralympic games in Beijing in 2008.

[1041] Oh, wow.

[1042] By the way, here's the comedy of life.

[1043] Like, do you not become paralyzed?

[1044] I don't know how great of an athlete you are.

[1045] Maybe you would have gone to the Olympics in some capacity, but also maybe not.

[1046] Yeah.

[1047] More likely not.

[1048] Exactly.

[1049] for it.

[1050] Okay.

[1051] Okay.

[1052] Okay.

[1053] This is where the underdog victoriously rises.

[1054] So we train that summer, go into Beijing undefeated, go through the tournament undefeated, play the Germans in the final, the buzzer sounds.

[1055] We've hit all of our free throws when they mattered the most.

[1056] We win.

[1057] We get the gold medal in Beijing in 2008.

[1058] Come on.

[1059] I'm a gold medalist.

[1060] Oh, my God.

[1061] An Olympic gold medalist.

[1062] You've seen the Olympics.

[1063] I know you guys are both really big fans.

[1064] You know when Olympic tears happen that everybody's got a story behind those, right?

[1065] Yeah.

[1066] I remember that 17 -year -old girl laying in her bed thinking her life was over and for sure didn't think I would ever be an athlete again.

[1067] Flips the script.

[1068] And not only are you going to be an athlete, you're going to go farther than you would otherwise, to your point.

[1069] Oh, man. This is beautiful.

[1070] I'm a little well -y.

[1071] I know.

[1072] I got me. This first one I got me today.

[1073] This is inspirational.

[1074] You would think that was the end, and I'm just going to add two more things.

[1075] Yes.

[1076] What if she stood up right now in the middle?

[1077] Oh, my gosh.

[1078] That's what I started walking.

[1079] Oh, my God.

[1080] Oh, my God.

[1081] That's not actually part of my story.

[1082] Of course not.

[1083] One of the best things that I could have ever done was dream bigger and think bigger than I ever should have.

[1084] It was this ridiculous dream.

[1085] So before I left to Beijing, I decided I was going to also.

[1086] move out to Winter Park, Colorado, where I'm at now, to pursue ski racing.

[1087] And after the 2008 games, try to make the 2010 games in two years in winter sports, which is ridiculous.

[1088] I've seen this.

[1089] You sit on a single ski.

[1090] Is that what you do?

[1091] Exactly.

[1092] And you have outriggers on your arms.

[1093] And so that's what I did.

[1094] We won the gold in Beijing with the $5 ,000 that I won from that games, which was not enough.

[1095] I'm telling you, we were missing three zeros.

[1096] Yeah.

[1097] Paralympians get paid equal to Olympians now, but during my time...

[1098] I didn't even know Olympians made money, to be honest.

[1099] Either did I, actually.

[1100] This is on news to me. Yeah, they get...

[1101] I think it's close to $38 ,000 for a gold.

[1102] Oh, okay.

[1103] Definitely do a fact check.

[1104] I move out to Winter Park.

[1105] I'm like real green.

[1106] I'm falling off the lift nine times a day, getting to the top, falling a lot, crashing a lot.

[1107] By the end of my first season, I ended up winning the downhill at the national championships.

[1108] So downhill's my thing.

[1109] decks.

[1110] I like going fast.

[1111] I'm a big risk taker.

[1112] And that gave me this real edge over the girls that were already competing in the sport.

[1113] Within the next year, I made the Paralympic team for being a ski racer.

[1114] I get to Vancouver in 2010.

[1115] And this is the part of the story I didn't really want to tell you, but my brother was a victim of gun violence in 2009 and was murdered in Denver.

[1116] But overcoming that and going into 2010 as a rookie.

[1117] on the Paralympic team.

[1118] I had this extra dose of inspiration from him.

[1119] He was a big fan of mine.

[1120] And so I really had nothing to lose.

[1121] And if you know anybody that shows up to the games in that position, they are in the best position, right?

[1122] I had no sponsorship.

[1123] I had nothing riding on it.

[1124] I could just ski, however, and it wouldn't matter.

[1125] So the first race I ski was the Giant Salon, which is not something I'm really that great at.

[1126] The best girl fell.

[1127] I'm in a position to win.

[1128] It's a two -run race.

[1129] So I'm up by a second going into the second run.

[1130] And as I'm sitting in the start gate, you know how grief is?

[1131] My tears start to fall in.

[1132] Like, I'm looking at a gold medal in the face and all of a sudden my goggles are filling up with tears.

[1133] Is it a best run of the two system?

[1134] So you do two runs and the fastest.

[1135] Okay, great.

[1136] I'm up going into the second run, but the fastest person from the first run goes last.

[1137] So I saw all those other girls go ahead, like the anticipation is building.

[1138] I'm sitting in the start gate, start crying, and it's just the most inconvenient time to be crying.

[1139] And I pray to my brother just to kind of help me through it and see this race that I don't remember a second of.

[1140] I get to the bottom.

[1141] I see my name at the top, and I am the first female American to win gold in the summer and winter games.

[1142] Oh, my God.

[1143] Oh, my God.

[1144] Let it wrap.

[1145] If you get a chance to YouTube it, the crying that was happening was so...

[1146] Cathartic.

[1147] It was not cute.

[1148] It was spiritual.

[1149] It was a mess.

[1150] Okay, so this is the best part of the story.

[1151] After I win that gold, I go on to win another gold, a silver and a bronze.

[1152] I was the most meddling athlete of 2010 Olympic or Paralympic.

[1153] Oh, my God.

[1154] After all that, I get like special treatment, right?

[1155] Olympians and Paralympians after you meddle in the game.

[1156] You go to the White House.

[1157] I got to meet President Obama.

[1158] Oh, Barry.

[1159] I got to ride in Michelle Obama's Motorcade and go to a school and teach about her let's move program.

[1160] Oh, my God.

[1161] She gave me a hug.

[1162] Yeah.

[1163] I was nominated for several SB Awards, Hollywood red carpet, fun stuff like that.

[1164] But here's the best, this is it.

[1165] I get the opportunity to go on Conan O 'Brien.

[1166] And I know you just did Jimmy.

[1167] Kimmel, and you were very honest about how nerve -wracking that was.

[1168] So scary.

[1169] Oh, sure.

[1170] In my head, I was like, oh, my God, this is my moment.

[1171] I'm going to play the Paul Rudd joke on Conan.

[1172] And the Paul Rudd joke is where Paul Rudd plays a clip.

[1173] Oh, yeah.

[1174] He always brings the same clip of the same movie.

[1175] Yeah, the Mac and Meat clip of the wheelchair guy flying down the hill, falling off the cliff, and I'm like, I want to be in on this joke.

[1176] I want to play the joke on Conan.

[1177] Oh, my God, this is so high risk.

[1178] But this is amazing.

[1179] It was so high risk.

[1180] The best part about it was, Dax, your wife, Kristen Bell, was interviewed before me. No. Oh, my Lord, ding, ding, ding.

[1181] It was so sweet.

[1182] Oh, my God.

[1183] Kim all over the place.

[1184] I know.

[1185] Too much sim.

[1186] That's what I'm telling you.

[1187] I was so excited to tell you this story.

[1188] To your point, it was so high risk.

[1189] I was like, are people going to laugh at this?

[1190] I'm in a wheelchair.

[1191] Yes.

[1192] You're so.

[1193] afraid to laugh.

[1194] Although you should laugh at every fucking thing.

[1195] That's what I'm saying.

[1196] I wanted people to know.

[1197] I'm also a part of this human family.

[1198] Don't fucking pity me. Laugh with me. That's what I'm saying.

[1199] Thank you.

[1200] And so it was epic.

[1201] The joke landed so hard.

[1202] That's amazing.

[1203] And Conan was like, let me be clear.

[1204] You did this to me. Let the record reflect.

[1205] I already emailed me the most amazing email.

[1206] Oh, my Lord.

[1207] Sweetie pie.

[1208] So my underdog story doesn't end up with me walking again.

[1209] I am in a wheelchair now, but the life that I have.

[1210] No kidding.

[1211] Oh, man. In this go round, in this little corner of the universe that I get to be a part of, I am so incredibly lucky and so blessed.

[1212] And I have this savage little four -year -old that doesn't even care that I'm in a wheelchair.

[1213] Of course not.

[1214] It's a good life.

[1215] And I feel like so lucky that I get to convey the fulfilling aspects of being a person with a disability.

[1216] It's pretty amazing.

[1217] It's the gold medal story.

[1218] I think of any of the stories we've had on this show.

[1219] This is another gold medal we're giving you today.

[1220] Third goal.

[1221] Well, 15th gold medal.

[1222] I don't know what the count is now.

[1223] I have three, but this is for sure very special.

[1224] Incredible story.

[1225] Fucking outrageous.

[1226] Yeah.

[1227] The moment you see.

[1228] the people playing, I think back in the gym, the trap of your brain is you've already shifted your story to my life now sucks.

[1229] And it's that confirmation bias thing.

[1230] So your story is my life sucks.

[1231] And when you see something that challenges that and potentially it makes you confront that your life might not suck if you step over here, it's crazy how hard it is to step over there.

[1232] I'm so delighted you did.

[1233] Well, it's the risk, the same risk taking mentality that got me in a wheelchair is the same risk taker in me that got me back into life.

[1234] Yeah, yeah.

[1235] And continues to both kind of get me in trouble.

[1236] Like, I am 40 now and I still like to go way too fast.

[1237] And I'm like, why is this still a thing?

[1238] But it's taking me around the world and giving me such an incredible time.

[1239] That's awesome.

[1240] Well, Elena, this was awesome.

[1241] Yeah, really, really love meeting you and love hearing that story.

[1242] Appreciate you guys so much.

[1243] Can I do a quick shout out?

[1244] Of course.

[1245] My husband runs a nonprofit in the Truckee area called the High Fives Foundation.

[1246] And what they do is they raise funds and give grants to folks that are newly injured from outdoor sports, skiing, surfing, rock climbing, and motocross, all the things.

[1247] So we get them back into life through sports like my story did the same.

[1248] And so we're here teaching folks how to ski and do all this fun stuff.

[1249] Well, one of the girls that works for my husband's organization, her name is Danny, Trujillo, and she was in the top 2 % on Spotify wrapped for armchair expert, which is hard to do.

[1250] Wow.

[1251] I know too much content.

[1252] That's incredible.

[1253] Yeah, too much, too much.

[1254] She's on it.

[1255] So I just wanted to shout out to Danny because she's epic and so many of our conversations are about the latest armchair interview.

[1256] And we just love you guys so much.

[1257] That's delightful.

[1258] Well, we give our love to her as well.

[1259] And it's been great meeting you.

[1260] I hope we cross past again.

[1261] I hope so, too.

[1262] And if you ever want to have me on your show, I would gladly take a piggyback up those stairs.

[1263] And I would enjoy giving you that piggyback ride.

[1264] Or anywhere.

[1265] You can piggyback me into the ocean, whatever works.

[1266] Thank you guys so much.

[1267] This has been such a joy.

[1268] All right.

[1269] Bye.

[1270] Oh, wow.

[1271] What a whopper of a story.

[1272] What a way to end.

[1273] That was beautiful.

[1274] She was right.

[1275] It was a roller coaster.

[1276] Sure was.

[1277] She delivered.

[1278] Isn't life a roller coaster?

[1279] Well, that's what my shirt says.

[1280] I feel grateful.

[1281] Me too.

[1282] All right, bye.

[1283] Love you.

[1284] Do you want to sing a tune or something?

[1285] We don't have a theme song.

[1286] Oh.

[1287] We don't have a thing song for this new show, so here I go, go, go.

[1288] We're going to ask some random questions, and with the help of our cherries, we'll get some suggestions.

[1289] On the fly a rind dish.

[1290] On the fly a rind dish, enjoy.

[1291] Follow Armchair Expert on the Wondry app, Amazon Music, or wherever you get your podcasts.

[1292] You can listen to every episode of Armchair Expert early and ad free right now by joining Wondry Plus in the Wondry app or on Apple Podcasts.

[1293] Before you go, tell us about yourself by completing a short survey at Wondry .com slash survey.