130 - Mike Is Right

[0] This is exactly right.

[1] Hey, this is exciting.

[2] An all -new season of only murders in the building is coming to Hulu on August 27th.

[3] Steve Martin, Martin Short, and Selena Gomez are back as your favorite podcaster, detectives.

[4] But there's a mystery hanging over everyone.

[5] Who killed Saz?

[6] And were they really after Charles?

[7] Why would someone want to kill Charles?

[8] This season, murder hits close to home.

[9] With a threat against one of their own, the stakes are higher than ever.

[10] Plus, the gang is going to Hollywood to turn their podcast into a major movie.

[11] Amid the glitz and glamour of Los Angeles, more mysteries and twists arise.

[12] Who knows what will happen once the cameras start to roll?

[13] Get ready for the stariest season yet with Merrill Streep, Zach Alfinacus, Eugene Levy, Eva Longoria, Melissa McCarthy, DeVine, Joy Randolph, Molly Shannon, and more.

[14] Only murders in the building, premieres August 27th, streaming only on Hulu.

[15] Go, goodbye.

[16] And stare directly into my balls of eyes.

[17] Because this is my favorite murder.

[18] Hello and welcome to the true crime comedy podcast that you turn to in your hour of need.

[19] Or your hour commute.

[20] Or your hour of maybe you just, you're getting a massage and you thought this will be funny.

[21] Oh, that's weird.

[22] This will be stupid.

[23] Are you cleaning your house from the party you had last night?

[24] How was the party?

[25] Are you cleaning your house from the fact that you never clean your house like me where I look down today as I was watching TV and there was there was like a Sand dune of dog hair on the ground, or I was like, what in that?

[26] That's disgusting.

[27] You want to hear something really gross?

[28] Super gross.

[29] Like a couple weeks ago, I got a peel on my face, you know, a professional appeal.

[30] And so you, you, like, shed like a snake for the next week.

[31] And I look down in the bathroom, and it's just, like, my fucking dead skin, disgusting, all over the...

[32] Pieces of your face on the ground.

[33] That's my favorite Roe Levine album.

[34] Hey, that's Karen Kilgariff.

[35] That's Georgia Hartstark.

[36] Because sometimes you guys can't tell her voices apart still.

[37] And I bet you can't now, too.

[38] But you're correct, whatever you're guessing.

[39] And it doesn't matter.

[40] It doesn't also matter.

[41] Oh, I remembered my, remember, I remembered my corrections corner from last week that I couldn't remember.

[42] Right.

[43] It's this.

[44] The week before, the week before, I said, oh my God, you guys send your DNA to 23 and me and then send it into the place where like killers you can right you know let's all get our DNA you had a DNA plan for everybody and then I got a bunch of messages including from uh the dollops um what's his face Dave Anthony Dave Anthony saying don't fucking send your DNA to public places because in you know Trump's future they're going to use that to deport people or to deny people fucking health care because of preexisting conditions based on your DNA so if you're at all paranoid about that, don't do it.

[45] Yeah.

[46] If you're like me and I'm just like, well, the end days are coming and nothing's going to matter and the fucking system's going to shut down anyway.

[47] So the DNA isn't going to be stored anywhere.

[48] Just do it.

[49] What?

[50] You know what I mean?

[51] Because like there's got going to be a system anymore.

[52] Like the - Why?

[53] Because they're turning off all the electricity.

[54] Everything's going to get shut.

[55] Power's going to go off.

[56] And then everything's going to de -frost.

[57] And all the little beakers that the DNA's in are going to fall off the shelf.

[58] Well, if there's no internet to upload the DNA results to.

[59] Right.

[60] No, it'll just be a big filing cap.

[61] it on a hill yeah and then you just go and spit into it no that's a good point yeah i mean like don't let's not implicitly trust some kind of technology and go this is the answer the thing to remember about this podcast is that you shouldn't listen to us no we're just trying to have a private conversation i don't know what you fucking people are doing hanging around you keep budding into our private conversation then there's this guy with the mustache recording us and then there's three cats here that are just like what shut up sitting around going when's my line okay we're trying to talk to each other.

[62] Karen and I have been trying to have a private conversation for like almost three fucking years.

[63] Borderline three years.

[64] And we've never had one.

[65] No. It's getting worse.

[66] Yeah.

[67] Yeah.

[68] So full apologies if you've been if you've been taken into the trunk regime.

[69] That's not even funny.

[70] I was starting to say that as like a riff.

[71] It's too real.

[72] Let's not say the word anymore.

[73] Let's not go into that area.

[74] This is, we're here to escape into murder and away from reality.

[75] Speaking of, I'm going to plug our new fucking merch line, our new, like, what's it called when it's not going to go for very long?

[76] Seasonal.

[77] Short -term.

[78] Short -term seasonal merch line that we're really fucking excited about.

[79] It's finally coming out.

[80] It should be out today, which should be Thursday.

[81] We started a summer camp line.

[82] It's like a summer camp camping line with three new logos and one, three new designs, one that you already love, the stand of the forest one, on new.

[83] merch and there's like a fucking camping mug there's t -shirts like all kinds of cool different t -shirts it looks like you're a fucking summer camp put on by my favorite murder yeah it's really cute it's really cute there's some really cool things yeah there's the and it's very contradictory we tell you to stay at the forest yeah and now we're basically giving you set up to go into the forest yeah i'm really the the the logos or the uh designs are really fucking cute there's like three different ones they're all different we're excited about it so go to my favorite murder .com, then go to the store, you know, have fun.

[84] Shop around.

[85] Shop around.

[86] Get a look for summer.

[87] And it's, you know, it has been a while.

[88] So you can update your, you can update your MFM look.

[89] Oh, God.

[90] Why do you just say that?

[91] Hey, listen, I have a reader.

[92] I don't know what this is even called because this is like a new thing.

[93] Listener mail.

[94] I wouldn't call.

[95] Is it that?

[96] Yeah.

[97] Listener mail.

[98] And now you have to do that every time.

[99] Oh, my God.

[100] It gives me a headache.

[101] I love it.

[102] Yeah, what you can't see is Georgia flung her head from left to right as she's sung listener mail.

[103] I'm basically doing Janice from the Muppets going, I'll trade anyone who has a jacuzzi, which is my favorite line from anything ever.

[104] I just realized that as you did that and said it, Janice from the Muppet reminds me of Lizzie Cooperman.

[105] A hundred and ten percent.

[106] That's so funny.

[107] They're the same person.

[108] I love it.

[109] Okay.

[110] So this is a message from Chelsea, I won't say her full name.

[111] She says corrections corner Molokai.

[112] I argue this is not a corrections corner because I'm sick of being fucking corrected.

[113] Hi ladies.

[114] Fair enough.

[115] Just listen to episode 129.

[116] Loved hearing about Karen's trip to Kauai as well as our own serial killer story.

[117] I'm born and raised in Honolulu and I'm very familiar with the Keahee Lagoon and adjacent sand island area because it's a heavily used recreation site used for water sports like jet skiing or canoe paddling.

[118] not canoeing, specifically canoe paddling.

[119] Just the paddling part.

[120] There's no enjoyment of movement or the scenery.

[121] The story was super creepy, but knowing the area, I'm not surprised it happened there.

[122] It's not a dreamy location, but rather an industrial zone that's right next to the airport.

[123] Planes literally fly over all day.

[124] That's really funny.

[125] Oh, and anyway, I just wanted to help with the little fact you were sharing about Molokai.

[126] Molokai is a population of 7 ,345.

[127] I like that she's saying all this, like, because she's from Hawaii, she knows the population of Molokai.

[128] We all have the internet, Chelsea.

[129] But the remote part of the island you mentioned has a population of 11.

[130] What?

[131] And it's actually known, oh, this is the corrections part.

[132] Got it got it.

[133] It's actually known as now I have not had a chance to look at the pronunciation.

[134] But she's done great thus far.

[135] I mean, there's a lot of heart and a lot of sense.

[136] sincerity in it, but also, this is going to be wrong.

[137] Kala au Papa.

[138] The historic leper colony, the Catholic Church, including Father Damien, who He's the dude, who went there, got to take care of everyone, right?

[139] Yep.

[140] Got leprosy and was like, fuck it, I'm going to take care of these people.

[141] That's right.

[142] Because they were completely just shipped onto that island and like there was no law.

[143] There was nothing was set up.

[144] No medical.

[145] It was just, if children had leprosy, they got shipped there and they were just left to their own devices.

[146] So he went there.

[147] Yeah.

[148] He was like, I'm going to go.

[149] I'm going to take care of these people.

[150] Father Damien, we heard all about him in Catholic school.

[151] The Catholics love to talk about Father Daniel.

[152] He's your guy.

[153] Because he was, I think, if they haven't made him a saint already, they were like putting him up for Sainthood in the 80s.

[154] Cool.

[155] So he played a large role in the history of the city, which is probably how your family is connected to the area.

[156] Now you're incorrect.

[157] So now you have a corrections corner, Chelsea.

[158] You're wrong.

[159] Let's find a correct.

[160] Let's get everyone to talk about how you are wrong.

[161] Yeah.

[162] Sorry, again, I've imbibed it a little bit of cold brew.

[163] Oh, right.

[164] The last remaining residence in Kalaupapa, that was definitely wrong, or all over the age of 75, and I believe there's less than 10 left.

[165] I'm hoping this will help your listeners understand a small but significant part of Hawaii's history that you also have a connection to.

[166] Wrong twice, strike two.

[167] Thanks again for sharing about my home and great job with your pronunciation.

[168] Oh, no. Your effort did not go unnoticed.

[169] Mahalo Nui, Kehow.

[170] So I bet her, oh, her middle name, like her Y name is Chelsea.

[171] I mean, is Kehow.

[172] And Chelsea is her email name.

[173] Got it.

[174] Thank you, Chelsea.

[175] That was awesome.

[176] That's so nice.

[177] And I love the idea that people would be canoe paddling in a creepy airport lagoon.

[178] I just, like, imagine, like, gasoline on the layer on top.

[179] And, you know, like when you're canoeing and you're smoking a cigarette and you throw it overboard, the whole fucking ocean lights on fire.

[180] You like the lagoon off fire.

[181] That's one the really cheap dads who, like, have a problem with spending money, they're like, you're going to Honolulu, but we're staying at this place that has its own lagoon.

[182] God, those motels.

[183] No, dad, please.

[184] I stayed in those as a kid with my dad.

[185] It was very depressing.

[186] Well, I have a, you are correct.

[187] I have a caring as a fucking psychic.

[188] And so smart corrections corner.

[189] Shit, we should have started with that, so I wasn't going to be so defensive.

[190] No, no, but now you're going to feel better.

[191] Okay, great.

[192] That's what we're all looking for.

[193] Oh, I knew that was going to happen.

[194] I'm so sorry.

[195] Can we talk about the best day of my life?

[196] I don't think we can talk about it.

[197] We can't say what it was specifically.

[198] Okay.

[199] Karen and I did a voiceover thing for something that's going to come out in a while, which of course we'll tell you about when it comes out.

[200] But we went and we recorded these voices and I was like doing my little voices.

[201] It's very scary.

[202] And then the person who's recording goes, hey, Georgia, can you burp on command?

[203] And honestly, and I was like, a fucking course I can and I did it twice.

[204] And like, I got home and I kind of had this emotional moment of like my whole life.

[205] And, like, as a kid, I was weird, Georgia and embarrassing.

[206] And, like, my brother and I would learn how to burp on command.

[207] And it was just this moment of, like, I was so proud of myself.

[208] Yeah.

[209] Like, called my mom and told my mom.

[210] And she was like.

[211] Mom, I burped on command.

[212] So, fuck you.

[213] No, she was proud of me. That's good.

[214] She was like, you've been practicing forever.

[215] Okay.

[216] Karen, Georgia, associates.

[217] Beautiful.

[218] I love it.

[219] Karen, this is from a guy named Mike.

[220] Karen, I don't know if you did this on purpose, but right after you were talking about Nietzsche, Georgia said something about time not being real, and you said, time is a flat circle.

[221] If you rewatch that scene from True Detective, which you said it was from, you will hear McConaughey say, what is that?

[222] Nietzsche, shut the fuck up, right after Reggie Leduce says time is a flat circle.

[223] No way.

[224] And then he writes in asterisk, spooky ghost noises.

[225] Stay sexy and don't read Nietzsche because he's incomprehensible and annoying, Mike.

[226] Mike!

[227] Mike!

[228] We basically wrote True Detective from the future.

[229] Well, also, I recently rewatched season one of a True Detective, but I've only gotten past, I've only gotten up to the scene that's one long tracking shot where he goes in and like, remember that fucking, it's, I think it's like episode three or four.

[230] Yeah.

[231] I wonder if that was in my weird, like, that was filed away in my brain.

[232] I didn't know I was saying it.

[233] It's that or you're psychic, which I think is something you always want to prove.

[234] I definitely want to be psychic.

[235] Yeah.

[236] So I, you're right.

[237] Stop saying what the reason might be.

[238] And start accepting.

[239] A hundred percent.

[240] Mike's beautiful compliment.

[241] If Mike's not right, who is?

[242] No, Mike's always right.

[243] Here's the thing about that guy.

[244] He pays attention.

[245] Pays his bills.

[246] He pays his fucking bills on time.

[247] What guy do you know that's like that?

[248] Mike won't allow red bills.

[249] And he's a detail man, but he's not in your face about it.

[250] No. You know what I mean?

[251] No, he just says associates and you're like, that tells us what it is, but it's also funny.

[252] Mike, I have to tell us.

[253] tell you, Karen, Georgia, Stephen, and associate is probably my favorite greeting so far.

[254] Uh -huh.

[255] So, yeah.

[256] So Mike is right.

[257] Year number one.

[258] Yeah.

[259] Mike is right.

[260] Wait.

[261] Should we close this?

[262] No. Okay.

[263] You like it?

[264] I'm good.

[265] Yeah, yeah.

[266] Sorry.

[267] Well, and also you have to remember.

[268] So, uh, guys, it is in L .A. Of course, it's in the 90s.

[269] It's July.

[270] I keep having to remind myself.

[271] I'm like, it's so fucking hot.

[272] It's like, it's summer in Southern California.

[273] Stop complaining.

[274] But I realized, why I was complaining so much day.

[275] My AC went out.

[276] Like the fan was still running, so I didn't notice.

[277] Oh, yeah.

[278] So then at 1 o 'clock, I was just asleep.

[279] I just went to sleep because it was, when I got up and checked, it was 83 degrees in my house.

[280] So this place feels like an ice box.

[281] It's amazing.

[282] Karen, you've been huffing that Fri -on?

[283] You were not a Fri -on?

[284] A little bit.

[285] It gives me beautiful dreams.

[286] When I go to sleep at one.

[287] I just want gold on my face.

[288] um so this is actually a really cool thing so we talked about last week uh posting pictures from tour and hotel rooms and um loving hotel rooms oh yes yes we got this from a bunch of people on twitter thank you and this email uh that stephen just printed up for us from nico in the gmail box hey ladies and stephen while listening to your latest episode episode sorry i remembered hearing about an app called traffic cam t r a f f i c cam cam that that you can use to take pictures of a hotel room to help stop human trafficking.

[289] And I also realized I keep forgetting to use the app whenever I go away to stay in a hotel.

[290] So the idea is that you take photos of your hotel room, upload them to the app, and then law enforcement can compare the room images to images advertising potential victims, and that way they can find where those rooms are and where potentially those people are being trafficked.

[291] she includes a link to a CNN article about it just thought you guys and others would want to know about the app i think it's a great idea and hopefully it works to help human trafficking victims love you guys in your podcast and hope you see you next time you come to the boston area she actually wrote SSDMG Nicole which i like thank you Nicole that's thank you and everybody who treated us that's such a mind -blowing like that's the that's the good tech that's coming I wonder if it's worked at all.

[292] Well, must, right?

[293] Because why would they start it?

[294] A whole app about it.

[295] I want to read about the stories that it's worked on.

[296] Yeah.

[297] That's really cool.

[298] Traffic cam.

[299] If you, for some reason, take pictures of the hotel rooms you stay and go over to traffic cam and see if you can't upload them and help people.

[300] Yeah.

[301] It's very cool.

[302] That's our new thing.

[303] Hey, here's the thing.

[304] We talk about this all the time.

[305] But join the fan cult.

[306] Oh, yeah.

[307] There's lots of cool things coming your way, fan cult members.

[308] We're trickling them out slowly.

[309] And as you know, we're not the most organized people on the planet.

[310] A little busy and a little bit like we're going to do it next week.

[311] Yeah, but there is shit on there that you can't get anywhere else like videos.

[312] We do unboxing videos from, of gifts.

[313] We're going to do like.

[314] And we have a bunch of gifts waiting because we're waiting to do these unboxing videos.

[315] Yeah, but neither of us ever show up to this podcast with makeup on because we just work all day on our murders.

[316] And sleep in the heat.

[317] I resent the fact that I need in this late stage in my life to get put on makeup for these videos.

[318] But we really have a lot of cool stuff and cool ideas coming for you.

[319] So just know that there's lots of plans in the work for the fan cult people.

[320] So if you just go to my favorite murder .com, you'll find our new merchline.

[321] You'll find all this bullshit.

[322] You'll love it.

[323] It's the best.

[324] Go back.

[325] No. Hey, this is exciting.

[326] An all new season of only murders in the building is coming to Hulu on all.

[327] August 27th.

[328] Steve Martin, Martin Short, and Selena Gomez are back as your favorite podcaster, detectives.

[329] But there's a mystery hanging over everyone.

[330] Who killed Saz?

[331] And were they really after Charles?

[332] Why would someone want to kill Charles?

[333] This season, murder hits close to home.

[334] With a threat against one of their own, the stakes are higher than ever.

[335] Plus, the gang is going to Hollywood to turn their podcast into a major movie.

[336] Amid the glitz and glamour of Los Angeles, more mysteries and twists arise.

[337] Who knows what will happen once the cameras start to roll?

[338] Get ready for the stariest season yet with Merrill Streep, Zach Alfinacus, Eugene Levy, Eva Longoria, Melissa McCarthy, Devine, Joy Randolph, Molly Shannon, and more.

[339] Only Martyrs in the Building, premieres August 27th, streaming only on Hulu.

[340] Goodbye.

[341] Karen, you know I'm all about vintage shopping.

[342] Absolutely.

[343] And when you say vintage, you mean when you physically drive to a store and actually purchase something with cash?

[344] Exactly.

[345] And if you're a small business owner, you might know Shopify is great for online sales.

[346] But did you know that they, also power in -person sales?

[347] That's right.

[348] Shopify is the sound of selling everywhere, online, in -store, on social media, and beyond.

[349] Give your point -of -sale system a serious upgrade with Shopify.

[350] From accepting payments to managing inventory, they have everything you need to sell in person.

[351] So give your point -of -sale system a serious upgrade with Shopify.

[352] Their sleek, reliable POS hardware takes every major payment method and looks fabulous at the same time.

[353] With Shopify, We have a powerful partner for managing our sales, and if you're a business owner, you can too.

[354] Connect with customers in line and online.

[355] Do retail right with Shopify.

[356] Sign up for a $1 per month trial period at Shopify .com slash murder.

[357] Important note, that promo code is all lowercase.

[358] Go to shopify .com slash murder to take your retail business to the next level today.

[359] That's Shopify .com slash murder.

[360] Goodbye.

[361] Is that it?

[362] Yeah, you're first this week.

[363] Okay.

[364] Well.

[365] I thought it'd be really fun to do this murder, and I didn't realize that.

[366] So we're recording on Sunday, because I'm leaving for Hawaii tomorrow.

[367] But tomorrow, so this week, this comes out, but specifically Monday, is the hundred.

[368] You keep saying if this comes out.

[369] Like, you're not positive.

[370] I mean, it's, Stephen, will you just promise Georgia right now that you will put this up tomorrow?

[371] I swear.

[372] Okay.

[373] I mean, for Thursday.

[374] Yes.

[375] Okay.

[376] So it'll be 100 years this week since this.

[377] murder.

[378] Exactly.

[379] And I didn't realize it at first.

[380] That wasn't the reason you picked it?

[381] No. It was because I had started it and it was halfway done with it already and did it like the murder I originally picked.

[382] So I was like, how far along am I right in this one?

[383] Great.

[384] But this is actually one that I wanted to do for a very long time because it truly is one of my favorite murders.

[385] Okay.

[386] I'm fascinated with it.

[387] And I just can't tell you how many documents I have of half written ones that I bail on it.

[388] And then I'm like, I'm going to go.

[389] back to that.

[390] Well, this one was hard because there's so much work that needed to go into it.

[391] But I'm going to leave a lot of shit out and piss off a lot of history people.

[392] No one's here for history.

[393] Okay, great.

[394] You can't be at this point.

[395] If you're here for history still, you're a sadomasochist.

[396] Yes.

[397] This is the story of the last of the Romanovs.

[398] Oh, shit, girl!

[399] We're going all the way back.

[400] Wait a second.

[401] We're doing it.

[402] I love this so much.

[403] And I just recently when I drove home to Petaluma for Father's Day, listened to a last podcast on the left's series on Rasputin.

[404] Oh, awesome.

[405] Yeah.

[406] Which, you know, lays into this a little bit.

[407] So I love it.

[408] They're perfect to do Rasputin.

[409] Yes.

[410] I'm doing fucking Romanoffs.

[411] I am not last podcast on the left.

[412] I do not have the studying skills of our friend, Marcus Parks.

[413] Marcus Parks.

[414] He's a serious man. Yeah.

[415] So, fuck.

[416] Like, this is one of my favorite historical stories because it is so fucking insane the whole story is bananas and yet as I'm going to be reading this and I didn't realize it too it's like you can you can see a lot of modern day similarities to what happened and what could happen and it's really scary yeah because well time is a flat circle as Mike told us but but also it's true like that the reason it's a cliche is history just repeats itself and these things these things it's like the power dynamic yeah keeps just it keeps happening just because shit's in black and white and listen when i was in high school i was like this boring story i wasn't interested in this at all and then when i got older and like saw some you know history channel video about it and started reading a book about it i was like this is way more fascinating than i thought it was yeah so okay the house of romanov it's the second dynasty to rule over russia starts in 1860 sorry 1613 we're going to get through this history part numbers yeah it's also math it's map.

[417] They hate it.

[418] The Romanops had ruled Russia for five generations and were so powerful that they believed themselves to be ordained by God as absolute rulers.

[419] So think of like the fucking British royal family.

[420] That's going on, but in Russia.

[421] They all think they're ordained by God.

[422] Yeah.

[423] It's little nuts.

[424] I don't think God.

[425] I don't think God's into royals.

[426] He's more like Lord or he's, he'll never be royals.

[427] Peasants.

[428] He wants peasants.

[429] He's like Lord.

[430] Exactly.

[431] God is like Lord.

[432] Sorry.

[433] They're richest fuck.

[434] They build mansions in the grandest royal palace in all of Europe, but they reign for centuries with unlimited power, et cetera, et cetera.

[435] What?

[436] What?

[437] Well, I just have to say, I put my finger up to stop Georgia once again, and she's barely started.

[438] No, I love it.

[439] You just gave me with so good.

[440] You're like, what?

[441] No, I thought you were going to make fun of me for saying, et cetera, et cetera, about an entire fucking dynasty of royal people.

[442] Okay, great.

[443] Of course not.

[444] Look, I don't need to tell you guys this shit.

[445] I was just going to remind you that in a, high school during the Cold War in 1987 I went to Russia right I went to old school Russia and so like I've been to Peter the great summer palace wow and I am telling you these people weren't just rich like the summer palace which wasn't their main palace it was their summer palace it was the most incredible thing I've ever seen in my life to date and the everything about it was like breathtakingly large they had a fountain that had I think it's um who's the guy from the ocean triton is that what you just said or is that from yeah yeah well like that's the that's the thing he holds what's his Neptune I'm thinking of the little mermaid yeah they had a fountain of the little mermaid but it it was a thing that was probably five it was like five stories tall like it was like triple the size of any fountain you've ever seen.

[446] Okay.

[447] So now imagine being a fucking peasant who lives in a fucking hovel, you know, survives on bread all day, barely has any money for the children.

[448] Yeah, no shoes, no money for fucking food.

[449] And of course you're going to think that these people are fucking ordained by God.

[450] They've never seen anything like this in their lives.

[451] That's right.

[452] And that makes sense too while the churches and shit people thought the people who ruled the churches were fucking ordained by God because look at these insane buildings they made anyways.

[453] It's crazy.

[454] Yeah.

[455] All right.

[456] So now let's get interesting.

[457] Sarn Nicholas, uh, who looks like a fucking hot Brooklyn hipster with a light, blondey beard and they get a little zoop on his, he's cute.

[458] Uh, so Nicholas is only 24 when he inherits the throne upon the unexpected death of his father, Alexander the third dies of kidney disease unexpectedly in 1949, nope, when he's 49 in 1894.

[459] All right.

[460] So imagine at 24 years old being, oh, fuck, I'm in charge.

[461] I'm in charge now.

[462] And imagine also being a little kid and seeing your grandfather, who was the czar, get blown up to fucking smithereens in an assassination.

[463] And then they're like, now you get to take over that job.

[464] That happened to the in front of the family?

[465] In front of the family, including the little kid at Nicholas.

[466] So he's like, I don't fucking want this job.

[467] And he hasn't since he was a kid.

[468] But now he's getting it at 24 when he's totally not ready.

[469] so he definitely doesn't want to do it, but he has to.

[470] Okay, so just a week after the funeral of his father, Nicholas marries his long -time fucking gal -pal, who was only 12 when he met her and he was 16.

[471] Like, were they boning?

[472] I hope not.

[473] No. Yeah.

[474] They like fell in love with each other.

[475] It was more formal back then.

[476] Yeah, you're right, you're right.

[477] There was like a light hand touching.

[478] Yes, gloved hand touching.

[479] It's all gloves, then the gloves come up.

[480] The night of the wedding night.

[481] The night of the wedding night.

[482] Nicholas marries, a beautiful German princess, Alexandra, Fyodorva, nope, Fyodorovna, uh, he marries her.

[483] And they're like, supposedly like, this is fucking, they're really, really truly devoted and in love with each other in a way that, like, I feel like a lot of princes and princesses and kings and queens aren't.

[484] They're just like set up for marriage, you know?

[485] Yeah.

[486] But they're super stoked on each other.

[487] Uh, she's also the grandchild, the favorite grandchild of Queen Victoria.

[488] the UK.

[489] They were coordinated in 1896 and one of the most lavish ceremonies of its time.

[490] Fucking sign me up to go to that.

[491] I mean, the bonbons alone.

[492] Alone.

[493] A little tiny sandwich tables?

[494] I love it.

[495] Come on.

[496] So, and then I wrote a thing where like, you know how they say that when the bigger the wedding, the more likely the marriage is going to fail?

[497] Well, I bet the bigger the coordination, the more likely the fucking the ruling is going to fail.

[498] Good, good parallel.

[499] True.

[500] And this case as we shall see that's foreshadowing okay got it got it Alexandra so she is like fuck this shit she doesn't want to go she doesn't do the traditional social duties that russia's sarina and the russian people expect from the sarina they see her as distant and severe the couple has five children they have they have to have a boy so that the boy can take over the throne yeah and so imagine how they're for oldest olga tatiana maria and anastasia feel they're like nope nope nope nope shit we have to keep having babies finally they have their son heir to the throne Alexi um fucking this kid is like everything to them all Alexander all Alexander wants to do is hang out in the palace and be with his family he doesn't want to lead same doesn't want to rule 100 % you get to hang out this fucking gorgeous palace with the love of your life and you're like probably fun children yeah great and then just be like who wants a grilled cheese sandwich yeah let's get one there's they'll get made for us, even.

[501] We don't have to make them ourselves.

[502] That's right.

[503] Or do the dishes.

[504] We just called down through a, it's a can.

[505] It's a can, right?

[506] A can of sardines.

[507] Because it was in the 1800s.

[508] String.

[509] And then a bunch of sardines run downstairs and get to the sandwich.

[510] Train sardines.

[511] Train your sardines, everyone.

[512] Da, da, da, da, da, da, I'll go, hang out in the bag.

[513] Okay, he wants to, he wants to ignore the widespread famine throughout his land and not deal with all this bullshit.

[514] Sure.

[515] According to historian Simon Sabag Montefiro, Sarr Nicholas II was astonishingly arrogant and had contempt for the educated political classes, so he wasn't into the politics shit either or the people who were in charge.

[516] He was a vicious anti -Semite, which I think everyone fucking was then, and he had an unshakable belief in his right to rule as a sacred autocrat.

[517] Sure.

[518] And he's not trusted by his ministers, and he also leaves a lot of his dad's heart crazy rules in place.

[519] So nobody likes him.

[520] No one likes his wife.

[521] And then there's also Bloody Sunday where on Sunday the 22nd of January 1905 in St. Petersburg, unarmed demonstrators are fired upon by soldiers of the Imperial Guard.

[522] Now, we can easily think about this in today's in our society here.

[523] Like this shit could happen.

[524] It's happening now.

[525] It's fucking happening.

[526] Every day.

[527] It's bananas.

[528] So.

[529] Because also the other things you're mentioning of like that thing where people being virulently hateful towards smart people like that thing which is definitely happening in this country and I think people are kind of just waking up to it but it's a thing of like you resent people having an education maybe because you didn't get one for whatever reason but that thing like loving your own ignorance and then hating someone else for actually being smart is such a it's like this human failing right and it's I don't know it's it sucks and there's no uh debating it you can't debate with a fucking stupid person that they're being ignorant right you know or not being open or at least not you know studying all sides with the story no yeah it's mom janet god damn it okay sorry i'm very hate hateful right now okay blah blah blah they fire upon it's like kent state they fire into the fucking crowd yeah it's debating how many people were killed by soldiers but the moderate estimate it's like around 100 people were killed.

[530] But a thousand were wounded both from the shots and being trampled in the panic.

[531] Oh my God.

[532] So all these people are hurt and killed.

[533] A peaceful protest.

[534] And they're protesting starving to death?

[535] Yeah, exactly.

[536] So they, so.

[537] Revolution.

[538] The people are fucking pissed.

[539] By 1914 with the outbreak of World War I, the people are fucking over the Romanoms.

[540] Like no more, dudes.

[541] Russians criticize Alexandra and her German heritage, because they're super, patriotic.

[542] Oh, it's fun familiar.

[543] Uh -uh.

[544] And Nicholas's mismanagement of Russia's social, political, and economic problems because he was fucking bad at his job and didn't want it.

[545] In 1915, Nicholas also assumes personal control of Russia's military forces.

[546] So he fucking ladders out of his St. Petersburg castle to oversee the Russian armies fighting World War I goes to the fucking front lines and pretends to be like in charge of the fucking army and shit, which is like pisses people off.

[547] But then this leaves Serena Alexandra in charge of Russia, and this is where our fucking friend, Rasputin, comes in.

[548] It's a fucking total piece of shit.

[549] Yeah.

[550] So, her most, Alexander's most trusted advisor was illiterate, self -proclaimed faith healer, Gregory Rasputin from fucking small -time Siberia, you know?

[551] The remotest of Siberia.

[552] You know.

[553] Russian, I mean, Rasputin is seen by some Russians as a mystic, a visionary, and a prophet, by others as a religious charlatan, and they call him the Holy devil.

[554] Somehow, so he, so Alexi, the heir to the throne, the little boy, has hemophilia.

[555] And so Alexandra, she's, they're highly religious, orthodox Russians, highly religious.

[556] And so she keeps trying to get these faith healers to come and fix him.

[557] And finally, Rasputin comes and no one really knows why, except maybe Marcus Parks does, and I just need to listen to it.

[558] Something happens and it, and she believes that Rasputin is healing her son.

[559] So she fucking brings him on into her, they're highly secretive like you know click and uh so do so he's there is actually a part and and there isn't any specific thing like like to know except for that he did do something when that little boy was bleeding right and healed him in a way that people can't explain right so he really did weirdly earn his spot but then he was there for years and years and years so he must have been like doing something else too yeah he had weird eyes and i think people liked that too right but he also smelled.

[560] Please listen to the He looks like he smells terrible.

[561] Smells terrible.

[562] The, the, uh, you can get the full Rasputin download on last podcast.

[563] I think there's a smell of vision of it too, where they let you smell him.

[564] It smells like rotten carrots.

[565] And deceit.

[566] Excells.

[567] Oh, and deceit.

[568] Weird breath.

[569] Okay.

[570] So, Rasputin's sexual escapades and immoral behavior.

[571] He just like flaunts his dick all over town.

[572] He's like the original fuck boy, I think.

[573] Really?

[574] I don't know.

[575] I made that up.

[576] But yes.

[577] He's like, everyone and calls it like he's giving them a divine fucking fucking of divine fucking and makes them holy and shit um but so the russian people hate how much sway he has over their country they're pissed off about it because under his influence alexandra becomes paranoid and reactionary government officials are appointed and dismissed at a whim sounds familiar based on rascuant's prophecies and alexandra adopts repressive and oppressive policies.

[578] In December of 1916, Rasputin is assassinated by a group of conservative people who opposes influence, and this left Alexandra alone to rule Russia, and she tightened the grip on authority, and so she's just being a dick, too.

[579] At this point, Russians are like, fuck this shit.

[580] That's a quote.

[581] From February, so from February to March, Russia is paralyzed over when over half a million workers strike and protest and that's crazy it's crazy 500 ,000 people piece out on their jobs public transportation stops newspapers go out of print the number of striking workers increased when rumors circulated up another cut in bread supplies so everyone's fucking starving to begin with all their fucking kids are being sent off to war that they don't even want to be in 10 million soldiers desert whoa and join the Bolshevik uprising and Lenin begins to emerge as leader of the resistance, which is a fucking fascinating story in its own.

[582] There's a really great documentary about Lenin's Rise to Power.

[583] I highly recommend it.

[584] And I don't remember what it's called.

[585] Could it be called Lenin's Rise to Power?

[586] I bet it is.

[587] Like you think the documentary filmmakers are like, you know, I have a great name for this.

[588] Yeah.

[589] But it's called like Red Tears on a Sunday or whatever.

[590] I'm like, no, no one's going to know what that is.

[591] They're going to think it's about you too.

[592] March, 1916.

[593] 17, less than three months after Resputin's murder, masses of pissed off peasants and factory workers take to the streets of St. Petersburg.

[594] Police and soldiers are like, great, we're with you.

[595] They fucking mutiny and join these motherfuckers because they're pissed off too.

[596] Everybody's pissed.

[597] Everyone's starving, but the royals, right?

[598] Exactly.

[599] So the government ministers and bureaucrats abandon their positions because they're like, oh shit, we better get the fuck out of here, right?

[600] So this is the February Revolution of 1917, following, this, Nicholas, the Tsar is like, oh shit, okay, I'm abdicating on behalf of me and my son, please leave us alone.

[601] He thinks it's going to guarantee safety of his family.

[602] To just be like, okay, I won't be the...

[603] I quit.

[604] Yeah, czar anymore.

[605] I quit.

[606] He calls uncle.

[607] How do you say uncle in Russian?

[608] Great.

[609] He does that.

[610] On March 1st, 1918, once the communist Bolsheviks are in power, the family, they get, you know, they're held prisoner in a couple different places.

[611] They finally are moved to Ecattenburg.

[612] It's near the Euro Mountains and it's this home that they'll be kept in.

[613] It's a pretty nice home?

[614] I don't think so.

[615] Okay.

[616] It used to be like the home of a captain and then they're like, get the fuck out of here.

[617] We're holding the Roman arms in here.

[618] And they're like, oh my God, I'm claustrophobic.

[619] There's only 10 rooms in this house.

[620] Exactly.

[621] Yeah.

[622] So, and it's called the House of Special Purpose.

[623] Oh.

[624] Which just makes me think of the jerk.

[625] Like, what's your special purpose?

[626] Right?

[627] That's so funny.

[628] Okay, so they're kept in the...

[629] I wonder if that's where you got it.

[630] Fucking Steve Martin.

[631] You're smart and...

[632] That's what you like to do.

[633] I did it too.

[634] I like it.

[635] They're kept in this home in strict isolation without any of their possessions.

[636] I think they had their dogs there though which is cool.

[637] That's nice.

[638] They're guarded day at night.

[639] There's two like high walls surrounding the property for their imprisonment and for the security from the Angry Townspeople who were like let's kill these people.

[640] Yeah.

[641] The windows in all the family's rooms are sealed shut and covered with newspaper and they're forbidden from looking out the window.

[642] Sounds incredibly boring.

[643] Yeah.

[644] They're required to ring a bell every time they want to leave their rooms to go to the bathroom.

[645] and the guards eventually total around 300.

[646] Jesus Christ.

[647] So you've got to imagine.

[648] So the four daughters are now 13, 17, 19, and 21, and there are around 300 guards who fucking hate their family.

[649] Yeah.

[650] And there's rumors, and you have to imagine that they were sexually assaulted at some point.

[651] Sure.

[652] For sure.

[653] But they don't talk about, everything I looked in, I've only heard that in one, you know, story.

[654] It kind of stands to reason, but.

[655] Right.

[656] Yeah.

[657] Oh, wait, Alexis, the boy was 13, but the daughters were 17, 19, 21, and 22.

[658] Okay.

[659] In July, when the White Guard, which is still loyal to the Tsar, they begin to move onto Kattenberg, and they might take the city over.

[660] So this is what surmises the reason for what happens next.

[661] In the early morning hours of July 17, 1918, the royal family is, they're all awakened and around 2 a .m. in order to get dressed and they're taken down to a 20 foot by 16 foot like semi basement room in this house.

[662] And the pretext for this move, they tell them like, oh, the anti -bishopic forces are approaching.

[663] We're taking you down here for your own safety because we might be fired upon.

[664] So the family is like, oh my God, we're close to safety.

[665] We're going to be saved.

[666] They go down there.

[667] So it's Nicholas, who's, Zar Nicholas, who's 50, the Zarina, Alexander has 46 in their children, 13 -year -old Alexis, 17 -year -old Anastasia, 19 -year -old Maria, 21 -year -old Tatiana, and 22 -year -old Olga, along with the family's personal physician, Eugene Botkin, and three of their servants, what?

[668] Eugene Botkin.

[669] He's, what a nerd.

[670] Get that nerd out of the basement.

[671] And three of their servants, all of had voluntarily stayed with the family, which is pretty insane.

[672] Anna Demadova Alexi Trump Nope Alexi Trump And Ivan Cadro toov Karatov Some one of his like fucking descendants is so mad at me right now For giving that name wrong It's Karatognav Karatov Keratonov Keratov Okay So little do they know So they're seated in this basement They get chairs for the Zarina and Alexi, who's, of course, frail from his hemophilia, has been for his whole life.

[673] Little do they know that standing in another room is a firing squad that had been assembled and is waiting for the command.

[674] It's seven communist soldiers from Central Europe and three local Bolsheviks, all under the command of Bolshevik officer, Yakov -Yevsky, who we fucking hate, boo.

[675] He's a piece of shit.

[676] Really?

[677] Yeah.

[678] Why?

[679] It said that Yakov secured the order of execution from Lenin himself, but of course there's no paper trail, so we don't know that for sure.

[680] Anything could have been going on.

[681] Exactly.

[682] When the family gets into the basement, they're all seated, and Yorovsky simply says, Nikolai Alexandrovich, in a view of the fact that your relatives are continuing their attack on Soviet Russia, the rural executive committee has decided to execute you.

[683] And that's when they fucking realize.

[684] they're all going to get killed.

[685] Nicholas, he's stunned.

[686] He barely has any time to react before the executioners, they draw the revolvers, and the shooting begins.

[687] Nicholas is the first to die.

[688] And there's this, I have a book that halfway through about the murders, and it's really graphic and says everything, and I have to stop reading it because I got dizzy.

[689] Because it was so bad.

[690] Yeah, so you can read that if you want to.

[691] But essentially, Nicholas is the first to die.

[692] Anastasia, Tatiana, and Olga, and Maria survived the first round of bullets.

[693] I think they got like one in the leg and one on the arm.

[694] And it's because as they're shot at, the bullets are deflecting off of their bodies because they are wearing over 1 .3 kilograms of diamonds and precious gems that they secretly, all secretly sewed into their undergarments.

[695] Oh, right.

[696] When they left?

[697] Before they left the palace.

[698] Oh, fuck.

[699] So they're fucking deflecting the bullets, which is like almost worse.

[700] You know?

[701] But you mean because they're just, they continue to live while they're being attempted murdered.

[702] Like they don't get a quick death.

[703] You're right.

[704] But also if you were shooting them and then seeing bullets deflected, wouldn't you be like, wait, maybe they are like from God and like I was wrong this whole time?

[705] Well, apparently, so this is like an insanely botched execution.

[706] And apparently they were all shipped they should drunk to and not experienced.

[707] They didn't.

[708] The weapons were just like given them randomly.

[709] It's not like they had, they were good at their jobs even.

[710] which is disgusting.

[711] But, uh, so they, they get some protection from the bullets and then the bayonets.

[712] Oh, no. The remaining executioners, they start shooting chaotically until the room is so filled with smoke and dust that no one can see anything and they can't hear any of the commands amid, amid the noise.

[713] They realize that the gunshots are being heard, uh, by the neighbors.

[714] Like, they're in this fucking little town square.

[715] There's like, other houses around.

[716] Um, so the men are told to stop firing and kill the family with their, gun butts and bayonets.

[717] So the family and the servants are stabbed with bayonets and shot a close range in their heads.

[718] The execution lasts about 20 minutes.

[719] And at the end of it, once everyone's dead, the dynasty that had ruled Russia for over 300 years is fucking over.

[720] Wow.

[721] So the bodies of the Romanovs and their servants are loaded onto a truck and taken to the Kopjaki forest.

[722] You have to scream the last part of that.

[723] coped yaki forest the truck gets stuck in an air they're supposed to take them to these mines and dropped them out in the mines but the truck gets stuck in the mud near the gorno oralsk railway line so the men are fucking exhausted and drunk and over it and they refuse to obey orders so you'reopski's just like fuck it let's bury them in the road where near the track where it's stalled so the bodies are laid out and stripped with their clothing and valuables at a place called Pigs Meadow.

[724] Oh.

[725] I know.

[726] And then they're all put in, their bodies are put into a grave that was dug.

[727] And then their sulfuric acids poured in top of them.

[728] And then their faces are smashed with the rifle butts and, and covered with quicklime to prevent identification.

[729] Jesus Christ.

[730] I know.

[731] The burial is completed at 6 a .m. on July 19th.

[732] But it's, so, you know, half the population, people don't like the, czar but they didn't want their whole family to be killed right it was and people still believe in the czar too so it's they don't they don't want people to know what they did um and then you know they tell them that only the czar and uh his the heir you know alexi have been killed and everyone else is in hiding but of course it's not true for more than 60 years the fate of the romanovs is debated and it's not totally known what happened to them a woman claiming to be anesthesia uh Anna Anderson said that she was Anastasia and she had survived and she actually knew intimate details about the Romanovs family, maybe, and people believed her story.

[733] Do you remember this?

[734] Because it was the late 90s when she was proven wrong.

[735] Yes.

[736] I love that story.

[737] Also, there was like an actual Disney cartoon, but it's the cool.

[738] Any scam like that, there's also the one where the girl came and pretended to be a princess.

[739] It's, they just found her on the side of the road.

[740] She was like, I'm a Tahitian princess or wherever it's like some tropical island princess.

[741] Yeah.

[742] And she scammed a bunch of people in England, I think, around the same, like, you know.

[743] You're into that.

[744] Back when there was no TV, there was no way to communicate quickly.

[745] Right.

[746] So if you wrote a letter of like, that's not who that is, it would take four months to get there.

[747] And by then you fucking sewn all your jewels into your underwear.

[748] That's right.

[749] As long as you're charming and convincing people would just be like, sounds good.

[750] I think you are a royal.

[751] And want her to be that.

[752] Like, they didn't want the children to be dead.

[753] So people wanted this to be Anastasia.

[754] And she fucking did look like her.

[755] And they got, so, so then what happened was, um, there was a trial that is the longest trial in modern German history to determine if it's Anastasia or not.

[756] And they got this like crazy forensic handwriting analysis dude.

[757] And he, and I think it was a woman.

[758] And she was like, it's totally Anastasia.

[759] Like she fooled even her.

[760] Wow.

[761] Yeah.

[762] So she knew her stuff, this woman, Anna.

[763] Or she just got lucky and people wanted to believe her.

[764] her.

[765] But the trial failed to determine if it was her or not.

[766] She died in 1984 and still insisting she's the princess.

[767] So other people reported to be the Romanoff children throughout the years.

[768] And then the burial ground remained undiscovered until May of 1979 when local amateur sleuth and retired geologist Alexander Avdonen and some of his fucking bros located, they like, everyone's looking for this fucking grave.

[769] Yeah.

[770] They locate the shallow grave after years of covert evidence gathering and studying the evidence.

[771] So this is 1979.

[772] They find the grave.

[773] They find three skulls from the grave.

[774] And they try to get people to fucking DNA test them and shit.

[775] But everyone is, this is not a time when you can be doing shit like this.

[776] So they were worried about the consequences.

[777] Because it's now almost the 80s in Russia.

[778] Right.

[779] Okay.

[780] Yeah.

[781] So, and the consequences were imprisonment, possible death.

[782] So they fucking re -buried the skulls in 1980 and are just like, we'll be quiet until there's a time in our lives where we can go back and dig them up.

[783] Holy shit.

[784] Is that insane?

[785] Yeah.

[786] If you just knew where the fucking Romanos were.

[787] But there's nowhere to send any.

[788] There's no like.

[789] Yeah.

[790] No one will test them.

[791] Yeah.

[792] So in July of 1991, so it's fucking 11 years later, six months before the final dissolution of the Soviet Union, a commission appointed by Boris Yeltsin to investigate.

[793] get the murders, they finally exhumed their remains from Pygmeadow.

[794] But the problem is that there's only nine skeletons found, and they're supposed to be 11 fucking bodies.

[795] So DNA confirms that the smashed skulls and bullet -ridden bones were those of the Romanobs and their servants.

[796] But two of the children's bodies, including Alexi and either Anastasia or Maria, aren't found with their family, which of course leads people to think that either the nine bodies aren't the Romanovs and their servants and or Anastasia and Alexei are still alive, which likes all this crazy speculation.

[797] And it concludes, it makes the Russian Orthodox Church refuse to recognize the remains as those are the Romanovs.

[798] So they refuse to fucking bury them in a, you know, official Russian Orthodox.

[799] Sanctified grave.

[800] Grave and ceremony and shit.

[801] And they're sainted.

[802] So like this would, it would have been a big fucking deal.

[803] So they are interred.

[804] in July 98 and they're referred to by the priests conducting the service as Christian victims of the revolution rather than the imperial family they like refuse to acknowledge them as who they are so finally then and actually Nekra search is involved in the search as well and there's a chapter in the book that I love no stone unturned about the Romanovs and the search for them it's really cool But in July of 2007, another amateur group of local enthusiasts found a small pit near where the bodies were initially found containing the remains of Alexi and his sister, Maria, located in a small bonfire site not far from the main grave.

[805] So it turns out that Yorovsky had separated the Sarovic Alexi and his sister Maria.

[806] turns out it's Maria, an attempt to confuse anyone who might discover the mass graves with only nine bodies, which fucking worked.

[807] He did it on purpose.

[808] He did it on purpose.

[809] Wow.

[810] Alexi and his sister were burned.

[811] Their remaining charred bones thoroughly smashed with spades and then tossed into a smaller pit.

[812] And despite overwhelming forensic and DNA evidence, the church has refused to recognize these remains as belonging to Alexi and Maria.

[813] and for several years the boxes containing ashes and a few bone fragments that was all that remained of the children was just sitting in a shelf in the Russian state archives and in 2015 those bones were finally judged authentic so this fucking week marks the hundredth anniversary of the execution of the Russian royal family by the Bolsheviks one of the most shocking events of the 20th century during his reigns the Russian Empire went from being one of the foremost great powers of the world to economic and military collapse under the rule of Nicholas the second.

[814] And even so, people still debate whether or not the assassination was deserved or was just straight out fucking murder.

[815] And that's the story of the Romanovs.

[816] Wow.

[817] They still haven't gotten their orthodox burial.

[818] Yeah.

[819] Wow.

[820] I love that story because then it just makes me want to read a book about Russia is so huge, insane.

[821] The history is beyond belief.

[822] Well, you know, my family right before World War I or when World, no, wait, sorry.

[823] My family, when World War I started, was run out of their town in Russia.

[824] Oh, really?

[825] Because they were Jewish.

[826] Their town was burned to the ground.

[827] And then my grandma, who was seven at the time and her family were lived in, Fields trying to survive for the next seven years until they were finally able to escape and come to great Los Angeles.

[828] Your grandma was an exiled Russian Jew?

[829] Seven years old living in fields.

[830] Her mother picked potatoes during the day for money and would steal one potato.

[831] They eat the potato.

[832] She had like six siblings.

[833] They beat the potato for dinner and the peelings the next day for breakfast.

[834] Some people who were sympathetic would let them sleep in their barn, but they had to keep moving because Jews weren't.

[835] There was another Pue Grom, just constantly.

[836] Yeah.

[837] Jesus Christ.

[838] I didn't realize it was that close to your, like, that it was your grandma.

[839] Yeah.

[840] Is that your bigger dummy's grandma?

[841] No, that's Molly.

[842] She's, she got, had the same thing but in Poland.

[843] Look, I'm sorry about what's been happening to you Jews for the past 2 ,000 years.

[844] It's pretty fucked up.

[845] Thank you.

[846] On behalf of all the Jews, Karen Kilgareth, we appreciate it.

[847] Really?

[848] Yeah.

[849] God, I love you guys.

[850] You would let us sleep in your barn?

[851] Oh, my gosh.

[852] I don't know about Stephen.

[853] No, no, no. Or Steven's like, what the fuck?

[854] Stephen, what is your heritage?

[855] I'm half Mexican.

[856] What's the other half?

[857] I think like English or something like that.

[858] Yeah, English Mexicans.

[859] I think like the Mexican side would be like, yeah, we get it.

[860] We've been through some shit.

[861] Yeah.

[862] That was English, though, man. They don't get it.

[863] They love to colonize.

[864] They love to oppress.

[865] When did you guys come here?

[866] I think my dad's side came over, like, the Midwest, like, when, like, they were all, like, coming out after, like, not the Pilgrims or anything like that.

[867] No, no, from Mexico, though.

[868] Oh, from Mexico.

[869] Even my grandma grew up here.

[870] I call her Glendell Mexican because she grew up here.

[871] That's Armenian.

[872] Are you crazy?

[873] My mistake.

[874] Yeah.

[875] Even my mom's side, who's Mexican, has been here for a long time.

[876] oh okay cool well shit guys guys look and listen and have a can of wine uh that was good i just want to share one of my favorite memories of being in cold war russia when the iron curtain was still up sardines and yet we were we were high school students that were just like hey what's that we've got a bunch of money international incident it's just like waiting to happen so it was like it was very you know communist Russia while we were there there were like these big we would say in these big huge hotels that were relatively empty that looked like they were built in in the late 1800s or something like huge tall ceilings and it was really insanely picturesque and gorgeous and at the same time surreal and bizarre and but my favorite night and I think I've talked about like we got lost on that the Moscow subway which is gorgeous it looks like the whole thing looks like a museum it's it has chandeliers and this gorgeous tile and uh we got lot we were drunk and we got lost and then some russian soldiers just found like brought us back we don't know how or how they knew where we were staying it was super crazy but one time we went to a bar and it was just like there was just a sign like a sign that said bar in russian essentially and downstairs and then you go in and everything was exactly the same color.

[877] It was like this dark, brown, gray.

[878] And it was just all old men.

[879] Nothing.

[880] Everything was just dark brown and gray.

[881] Everyone's clothes.

[882] The whole bar, the paint on the wall.

[883] It was just this weird thing.

[884] So we walk up and I'm about to order us all like six vodkas, you know, because we were allowed to drink because we were all, you know, of age in Europe.

[885] My friend Jennifer Gearing, who's the funniest person of all time, goes up to the bar, leans up and goes, hey, can I get six vodka, Collins and like the guy that counter does not speak English.

[886] They don't have fucking Collins mix.

[887] I mean like everything about I was like go you're embarrassing me. You're embarrassing me in communist Russia go sit down.

[888] It was fucking hilarious.

[889] Vodka Collins is our new murdering a drink of choice.

[890] Right?

[891] Can I get like six of vodka Collins?

[892] And it's just a guy that looked like he was out of central casting.

[893] He was just like yet.

[894] Okay.

[895] So my story this week is one that we haven't done yet.

[896] It's super famous.

[897] People ask us to do it all the time.

[898] And it asks us why we haven't done it.

[899] Great.

[900] And it's another one of those ones where it's like, I'm going to save it for a live show.

[901] No, no, I want to do it at a live show.

[902] And it's so depressing and I don't want to do it.

[903] Yeah.

[904] Because it is the hideous.

[905] And I am telling you, if you have any issues or triggers around molestation, incest, sexual abuse at all you do not want to listen to the story because it's fucking terrible and it's the story of Fred and Rosemary West Oh yeah It's a good one It's so like I have attempted to do this story I think like four different times And every time I'm just like I don't This is awful I want to hear it and I don't have those triggers Because I'm a fucking monster Who likes terrible things all the time Right But I can imagine you doing this at the London show And it just going quiet Yes But then you're like why didn't you do it?

[906] I know it's such a weird balance but it's also like yeah it for live shows we need to be able to talk to each other and like at least have a semblance of a good time and interaction and this is just all this is some of the darkest shit of all time well I must not know all the dark shit then so tell me yeah it's crazy and but the the good thing that that I was happy about is early on I I tried to do a recommendation and tried to reference this show called it was a um i think originally it was like a tv show in england um starring emily watson called appropriate adult and it stars emily watson it's dominic west who is from the wire but he's like british amazing british actor um and uh and then this incredible uh actress who i still can't get over her performance she plays rosemary west and her name is Monica Dolan and she is so fucking good I don't have a picture over she's so fucking good in this thing inappropriate adult so Emily Watson plays essentially there's a thing in England when you they have a person that's essentially like a citizen social worker that just is there as the witness to make sure that the person when they're being interviewed by police is being treated fairly victim's advocate what's a victim oh you mean but it's a murderer advocate Exactly.

[907] It's like basically, and it's for, it's usually either for children who've been arrested or for people who are like somehow, um, have it maybe a learning disability or something's wrong with them.

[908] But they, so they bring her, they bring, you know, this woman in, um, to, to be this.

[909] I believe her name was Janet Leach.

[910] And it's a true story.

[911] So when it gets that part, you can, I would 1 ,000 % recommend appropriate adult.

[912] I'm watching it.

[913] It's available on iTunes.

[914] dude and it's in two parts so uh but it basically goes into once he's arrested and it goes into the insanity of like how the whole case kind of unfolds um so anyway that uh that's part of where i got this whole story but um and then there was an article in the independent written by will Bennett in October of 1995 where i got a bunch of information um so we'll start with rosemary west uh unlike anyone in any i just can't like when you talk about this woman you see a picture of her stephen would you pull up a picture oh i know she's like super motherly right yes she looks like every mom from the 80s like the really big glasses and like just a short kind of reasonable hair yeah a little frump zone a little she's in the front zone for sure she's had some kids she's like she just doesn't care eight kids she's like she just yeah hopefully Holy fuck.

[915] So she's, she just looks like the average lady walking down the street with her grocery guy.

[916] And no shame on the from zone.

[917] Like, I have the front zone.

[918] I'm the mayor of the fucking front zone.

[919] So don't worry about it.

[920] Great.

[921] Yeah, this photo of them is just classic.

[922] She took her glasses off for the photo.

[923] It just looks like they're on a Sears couch with the best wallpaper I've ever seen in my life in the background.

[924] It looks like the fucking canvas we have in the odd loft.

[925] And they use that inappropriate adult.

[926] They have her, sitting on a couch in front of that wallpaper like so they they clearly tried to recreate the house as it was and this house is so fucking creepy she looks cute she's got her little like Dorothy Hamill haircut he looks like um if um jamein not jane um yeah if jimaine from fucking flight of the concords like really wanted to go all out and play like an ugly gross dude don't you think i think jamein clement is hot as fuck don't get me wrong no he is for sure like a leisure suit, Jermaine.

[927] It's like if Jermaine on Halloween trying to be a monster.

[928] Right.

[929] Essentially.

[930] Right.

[931] Because he does look a lot like, he looks like a Muppets monster.

[932] Yes.

[933] Yes.

[934] His teeth are crazy.

[935] He has like unibrow.

[936] His small eyes.

[937] And he just he looks like he's up to no good.

[938] Totally.

[939] And that's also why he's so fascinating in an appropriate adult.

[940] You get that sense of what a true psychopath he is.

[941] I bet you had like a crazy laugh.

[942] What?

[943] I bet you had like a crazy laugh.

[944] Oh, maybe.

[945] Like an unexpected.

[946] Something you wouldn't expect.

[947] Like the kind of laugh that would make you leave a bar.

[948] Right.

[949] No matter how many vodka Collins you had waiting for you.

[950] Like kind of jar you.

[951] So, okay, so Rosemary was born Rosemary Letts in Devon, November 29th, 1953.

[952] And of course, it is, it's all of these, they're both of their backgrounds, tragedy from jump.

[953] So Rosemary's parents, he actually calls her Rose for the most of the time.

[954] Both of her parents suffer from mental illness.

[955] Her mother, when she's pregnant with Rose, falls into a deep depression and they give her electroshock therapy.

[956] Oh, with the baby.

[957] With the baby.

[958] So there's lots of theorizing that there was prenatal injury to her probably definitely in the brain.

[959] So because when Rose is growing up, lots of aggression, lots of temper tantal.

[960] She's a terrible student.

[961] The parents have a terrible marriage.

[962] Her father, Bill, is a paranoid schizophrenic.

[963] Oh, fuck.

[964] Yep.

[965] So he's super violent and he is terrifying.

[966] He is just this awful presence in the home to the point where the mother moves herself and Rosemary out of the house.

[967] But in their adolescence, Rosemary moves back into the house.

[968] Oh, honey.

[969] Um, and it's around the same time.

[970] So she hits puberty and becomes obsessed with her body and her developing body.

[971] She has a brother that she walks around naked in front of all the time that she begins to engage in incestuous acts with.

[972] And, uh, she essentially, it's not happening out of the blue.

[973] It turns out her father has been molesting her since she was 13 years old.

[974] Of course he has.

[975] Yeah.

[976] And so she, Rose.

[977] Rosemary not only is obsessed with sex and and but she's also preoccupied with older men.

[978] And that's how she ends up meeting Fred West because Rosemary is 15 when she meets the 27 year old Fred West.

[979] Shut up.

[980] Yeah.

[981] So she's she is a sophomore in high school and he's fucking 27.

[982] Oh my God.

[983] And Fred, one of the worst people.

[984] ever to exist as a child.

[985] He was beaten and molested.

[986] When he was 17, he got into a car accident that left him with a limp and a metal plate in his head.

[987] Head injury.

[988] Right.

[989] Everyone says after that car accident, he was never the same.

[990] Can you imagine knowing someone who got in a car accident or like living with them and being, they're acting really like that always scares me and people are like he wasn't acting the same after that?

[991] Yeah.

[992] Like if Vince got in a car accident and then started getting like these rage outbursts, yeah.

[993] What would I do?

[994] It happens all the time.

[995] to people all the time.

[996] I couldn't.

[997] It's terrifying.

[998] Yeah, it's really awful.

[999] Also, he's, but I don't, I think that he probably wasn't the greatest before the car accident.

[1000] 100 %.

[1001] Because he also sustained another head injury when a woman pushed him off a fire escape because he stuck his hand up her skirt.

[1002] Good for her.

[1003] Can you imagine?

[1004] I know.

[1005] She's like, get the fuck out of here.

[1006] Holy shit.

[1007] Also, at some point along the line he got his own sister pregnant.

[1008] Oh, no. I was really trying to make Georgia do a spit take with her can of wine.

[1009] Not in my own house.

[1010] Gross.

[1011] Not in my backyard.

[1012] Only on stage.

[1013] Um, so then he moves to Scotland.

[1014] After all that, he moves to Scotland to become an ice cream truck driver.

[1015] Oh, Jesus.

[1016] Uh -huh.

[1017] But he comes back to England after he runs over a four -year -old child.

[1018] What the fuck?

[1019] So, we're on strike 19 now with Fred West.

[1020] Can't just put him to sleep.

[1021] No good.

[1022] Um, so in the late 60s he comes back to England and he gets a job as of course a builder because for some reason all of these serial killers somehow go into the contracting field is the weirdest fucking thing I guess it's the independent work schedule hammers I don't know burial easy burial tools and cement work so the only good thing anyone says about him is that he's known to be a hard worker which is like that great so he's on coke probably exactly or he just loves fucking nails dig yeah um so it's around this time where he meets 15 year old hi rose hi i'm 15 hi i'm 27 yeah and but she's like well i've always had this paranoid schizophrenic molester father yeah so this is better um that horrible father objects strongly to rose is having her this relationship with this old man essentially with the crazy crazy teeth um But she basically believes that they believe that they are like psychically connected.

[1023] And there's this part in appropriate adult.

[1024] Like psychily.

[1025] Right.

[1026] It's really what it is.

[1027] There's a part in appropriate adult where he, Fred, spoiler alert, he ends up getting arrested.

[1028] He's in the police station.

[1029] And he goes, oh, Rose is in the police station?

[1030] And they're like, no, no, she's not here.

[1031] We haven't arrested her yet.

[1032] And he goes, no, she's here.

[1033] And then they leave.

[1034] the interrogation room and she was there and no one no one in the room knew she was there except for fred so there is this they have a very odd creepy creepy creepy connection and thing so uh their relationship starts he is abusive to her of course he's sexually you know technically sexually assaulting her and raping her she's 15 right um but he's also violent with her because he's a violent person so she's becomes pregnant relatively soon after this affair starts and she gives birth to their daughter in 1970.

[1035] Their daughter's named Heather when she is, when Rosemary is 17.

[1036] Fred West already has two children from a previous relationship and at this, around the same.

[1037] His sister?

[1038] No. No, he's had a different relationship.

[1039] He's sent a prison for petty theft and for fine evasion around the same time.

[1040] So 17 -year -old, highly unstable Rose becomes mother to now three children all at once.

[1041] She has to take over those other two kids?

[1042] Yeah.

[1043] Jesus.

[1044] And they're what they call it takeover?

[1045] It's a takeover.

[1046] It is a full takeover.

[1047] Um, so Fred, it's two daughters, unfortunately, Charmaine and Anna Marie are, are his daughters, um, that he had from a previous relationship with a woman named Rina Costello.

[1048] And so, So at some point, while Fred is still in jail and Rosemary is taking care of those three kids, Charmaine, one of Fred's daughters, disappears.

[1049] Uh -huh.

[1050] And when asked where she's gone, Rose tells people that she's gone to Scotland to live with her biological mother.

[1051] Uh -huh.

[1052] So when Fred gets out of jail, he comes back and they move from the house that they did live in to the now infamous house at 25 Cromwell Street in Gloucester.

[1053] And the neighbors know them as slightly eccentric, but nice.

[1054] People say that they're the kind of neighbors that would do anything for you.

[1055] And that's because they have no fucking idea what's going on in what is actually an in truth, a complete hellhouse.

[1056] So it turns out Rosemary is a sex worker who is working out of her own home.

[1057] Okay.

[1058] And they have set up the house the bedrooms have are outfitted with cameras and listening devices she's still a teenager at this point she is yeah basically you know 18 or 19 or something yeah she's in her late teens early 20s when all this starts so fred can watch these section set sessions she's having gross we'll call them sessions with her clients from far and in the house um and if that's not dark enough for you it's not dark enough for me okay then one of of her clients as her own father bill uh -huh then Fred knows that that's dark enough for me that well it gets darker because then Rose eventually encourages Fred to begin to sexually abuse Anna Marie and Rose would join in that I mean she is what the fuck it actually reminds me of the Ken and Barbie killers Carlo Molka right and from Canada like giving you a kid she gives him the gift of her sister kind of a thing exactly oh my it's the insane sexual assault incest just psychopaths who have no emotional fucking understanding of human emotions and it's the thing of when when women do that that when they're mothers and they do it to their own children that truly it's this taboo that is truly mind -blowing you know but it's not a taboo to them because they were raped by their fathers too that's exactly not fucking weird exactly right it's that's that was child for both of these people yeah um yeah yeah it's oh my god no good so uh they then begin selling anna marie to pedophiles no yeah how old is she at the time i think that started when she was eight around the age of eight oh my god one we'll go one darker okay the grandfather was a client also so fucking rosemary's gross rapisty father yeah Jesus Christ.

[1059] Just the worst.

[1060] This is, so again, for all the people who inquired, this is why I would, I would get to about this part and just be like, you know, this is the worst story ever told.

[1061] So eventually, Rose gets pregnant and has eight different children.

[1062] Five of them are Fred West.

[1063] Holy shit.

[1064] Three of them are fathered by clients.

[1065] They're not sure exactly who they are, but, but.

[1066] Are any of them her dad?

[1067] They don't, nothing I read said that.

[1068] But it could definitely be, there were rumors that some of them were local authority figures.

[1069] Yes.

[1070] So I think that's why this went like un, it was rumored, but it was never reported for a long time.

[1071] That things went on in this household for way, way, way too long because this was basically the sex worker of town.

[1072] Yeah.

[1073] And so nobody was like.

[1074] But it's also like if this authority figure comes in to, you know, have sex for money with, Rosemary.

[1075] It's not like he knows the other shit's going on in the house.

[1076] So it's not like he would have looked into it.

[1077] He didn't look into, you know, you know what I mean?

[1078] Right.

[1079] It's not like they were getting reports and then they were ignoring them.

[1080] Right.

[1081] But they also were in no way trying to look at anything that was happening in that house.

[1082] Sure.

[1083] Because they knew at least they were guilty of something.

[1084] Right.

[1085] And also there was a lot of kind of intense S &M bondage.

[1086] Yeah.

[1087] Violent sex.

[1088] It's yeah.

[1089] At one point when they, live on Cromwell Street, Rina Costello shows up to get her daughters back from Fred.

[1090] Okay.

[1091] And Rina disappears.

[1092] So the mom of the two girls, one of whom is X -Nay, not around anymore, that mom disappears.

[1093] Yes.

[1094] Oh, my God.

[1095] So, okay.

[1096] So in 1972, and this is when basically, it goes from the ultimate depravity within the household and within their own family and their own home.

[1097] And then they begin to branch out 1972, they pick up a 17 -year -old hitchhiker named Carolyn Owens, and they ask if she'll be their nanny because they have all these kids and they need extra help.

[1098] She says yes, she finds them nice, charm, whatever.

[1099] And she moves into the house on Cromwell Street.

[1100] And after two weeks, she tries to leave because, of course, it's fucking a living hell and insanity.

[1101] But Fred and Rose go out and they find her hitchhiking and they pick her back up they get her back into the car rose begins to sexually assault her and then Fred pull as she's trying to fight Rose off Fred pulls over punches her in the face and she goes unconscious when she wakes up she's back at 25 Cromwell Street gagged hands bound being mol she's molested all night by Rose and in the morning she convinces them if they let her go she's not going to say anything to anybody but it's fine no big deal.

[1102] So they fucking let her go.

[1103] What?

[1104] She goes straight to the cops, tells them what happened.

[1105] The West are arrested.

[1106] They're charged with assault, quote, assault occasioning actual bodily harm and with indecent assault.

[1107] But Caroline's too scared to actually testify against them in court.

[1108] She can't handle going to court.

[1109] And so on January 12th, 1973, the West plead guilty, but they're fined a hundred pounds and released.

[1110] Are you fucking kidding me?

[1111] They never serve any time for that assault and then soon after that young girls around gloucester begin disappearing um most of them come from broken homes or they're single women traveling by themselves so no one really hears much about it not until 1992 what yes so 72 when they first kidnapped the girls yeah to fucking 92 which i was alive then and it wasn't that long ago 20 years 20 years years these people are kind of just doing whatever are you fucking kidding me but here's what's happened so there's lots of rumors around town yeah do people know is it a small town it kind of is right uh i don't know anything about gloucester i didn't look anything up but i it's not big yeah it's like a it's no london is what they say in in my mind that i'm making up right now um so finally someone goes to the police and says fred west is raping his 13 year old daughter and someone needs to do something about it.

[1112] Um, so social services starts investigating the West family and this is when it all kicks off.

[1113] Okay.

[1114] Um, so authorities enter the home at 25 Cromwell Street and they find tons of insane, obscene paraphernalia everywhere.

[1115] So it's not just like they have, you know, they have those rooms that are outfitted with the cameras that it, where Rosemary has her clients.

[1116] Yeah.

[1117] But they have shit everywhere.

[1118] Are there photos?

[1119] Um, oh, I don't know.

[1120] I'm not the photo person.

[1121] I'm going to go look.

[1122] Do it.

[1123] Go down.

[1124] I mean, I've definitely, there's definitely a horrible wallpaper.

[1125] I'll tell you that.

[1126] There's some, there's some, like, each room has a different color and scheme and everything where you're like, the person that built this house is crazy.

[1127] Is a monster.

[1128] It doesn't care about aesthetics at all.

[1129] So they basically pull the children out of the house and they are interviewed by police and social workers and they start hearing these insane stories of sexual abuse.

[1130] Poor babies.

[1131] And emotional abuse and just, you know, these parents are crazy.

[1132] So Fred West is arrested for raping his 13 -year -old daughter and Rose is arrested for child cruelty.

[1133] But the 13 -year -old daughter refuses to testify against her parents.

[1134] And so in June of 1993, the case falls apart.

[1135] Shut up.

[1136] Yeah, once again.

[1137] But authorities know this really bad shit is taking place.

[1138] And when they're interviewing all the children, they're trying to find.

[1139] The first daughter?

[1140] Yes, who they said had gone back to live with her mother.

[1141] Oh, okay, right, right, right.

[1142] So their police are trying now to track down Heather Russ.

[1143] Fred and Rose say that she left home in 1987 following a family disagreement, but now she works at a holiday village in Devonshire and that they got, they get phone calls from her every once in a while, and they'd actually taken a phone call from Heather in front of the children one time.

[1144] So that the children also said, oh, yes, Heather called home.

[1145] one time mom and dad both talked to her we didn't they didn't let us talk to her yeah um so uh then they start talking to heather's friends and that's when they find out that 1997 it was around the time heather started telling her friends about the insane abuse that was going on in their home um so authorities are putting together that she disappeared right around the time she started confiding to other people what was actually happening so then all the younger west children are put into basically the British version of foster care.

[1146] And...

[1147] Which is called foster care.

[1148] They call it care.

[1149] Put into care.

[1150] You have to whisper it.

[1151] So when they, when the kids start talking to their, the foster carers, they start telling the story about if you misbehaved at home, they, Fred and Rosemary would tell the kids, if you don't behave, you're going to go under the patio where Heather is.

[1152] Yeah.

[1153] Yeah.

[1154] And so everyone's like, ding, ding, ding.

[1155] Can you imagine if you're foster parenting or foster care, you're a foster care.

[1156] Yeah.

[1157] And your kid's like, oh, I don't want to go into the house like my sister.

[1158] Like my sister who disappeared.

[1159] Chills.

[1160] I mean, horrifying.

[1161] So it's almost like everyone's just going like, oh, what?

[1162] Sorry what?

[1163] Say that again?

[1164] It's all like unfolding.

[1165] Oh, these people who look like the most average people.

[1166] Boring even.

[1167] Super boring.

[1168] And it's like, oh, there's this insane, see me understanding.

[1169] yeah um so when they go so they basically uh they go in and they they dig up the patio and they find the bones of heather west and so and this is where basically appropriate adult starts at fred's arrest no way um where they he had taken them to the house and he was it's he's so crazy and he's talking like he tells police yeah you you can come because she's buried in the backyard.

[1170] Then he changes his story.

[1171] Then he changes it again.

[1172] He's doing all this stuff and he's trying to manipulate Janet Leach, the appropriate adult.

[1173] So he's looking at her going, you should maybe check over there while he's denying that anyone's buried anywhere to the police.

[1174] It's almost like he's two different people.

[1175] Yeah.

[1176] Or nine different people.

[1177] Like it's truly, truly, either it's super psychopathic manipulation, like he's masterlining it or he's really stupid and just kind of playing it moment to moment.

[1178] Yeah.

[1179] It's very hard to tell.

[1180] Or that thing where it's like, well, if I'm going to get fucked for this, I want all the credit.

[1181] So like here's some other shit you should go look into.

[1182] Yeah, like you, it's interesting.

[1183] It's like that thing where does he like the attention?

[1184] Does he like this weird relationship?

[1185] He's trying to build.

[1186] He's clearly getting her interest because she's just supposed to be there standing there like witnessing things and making sure the police don't abuse a person who would be right, you know, in custody that sure everybody would want to punch in the face several times.

[1187] a fucking tibbley it might help his fucking stupid looking face too knock some teeth back into place so basically because of his hints and these things where he goes he like maybe we should go down and look in the cellar and then when they get down the cellar he's like no the spirits are telling me we we shouldn't be down here so then the investigators like dig up this entire cellar and that's when they find six bodies of women buried in a circle chronologically from when they disappeared.

[1188] So Linda Goff is found in the cellar, and she went missing on April 19th, 1973.

[1189] Holy shit.

[1190] She was 19 years old, and she was a seamstress.

[1191] She, you know, she was close with her family.

[1192] When she disappears without a word, her mother starts asking around, and the information she gets leads to the West's house on Cromwell Street, and when she knocks on the door, Rosemary's like oh you know we haven't seen her and then as Mrs. Goff is talking to her she realizes that Rosemary is wearing Linda's slippers and cardigan and then she looks and sees that Linda's clothes are hanging on the clothes line so yeah yeah so she's like what the fuck explain my face right now just horror I guess horror horror horror horror horror horror then there's Carolyn Cooper who was 15 years old.

[1193] She disappeared in November of 1973 on her way to visit her grandmother in Worcester.

[1194] If it's the Boston -pron -pronounced Worcester.

[1195] I bet you it's fucking not.

[1196] Yeah, I bet it's worst to sure.

[1197] Nancy Parkington is 21.

[1198] She was a student at Exeter in December of 1973.

[1199] She went home for Christmas and then she went out to visit her school friend at 1015 on the 26th.

[1200] 7th of December.

[1201] She was going to catch the last bus home, never seen again.

[1202] Do we think that this is all hitchhiking related?

[1203] You know, I'm not sure because it's, it's some of these are people who are traveling.

[1204] Yeah.

[1205] Yeah.

[1206] Not just, I'm not victim blaming, but because, but I think hitchhiking was a really normal thing.

[1207] And to get into a car of a couple, if you fucking watch Hounds of Love that Australian murder I did that one time.

[1208] Right.

[1209] Or any of these stories.

[1210] Yeah.

[1211] It's like hitchhiking was very normal.

[1212] They probably had a baby in the car with them, one of their babies.

[1213] That's right.

[1214] You know the story of the girl who was kept in a box under the bed, the girl in the box.

[1215] That's how they got her too.

[1216] They also found the body of 21 -year -old Swiss student, Terese Seigenthaler.

[1217] She'd been studying sociology in London, and she had decided to hitchhike across England.

[1218] And somewhere, she disappeared somewhere on that trip.

[1219] And also a 15 -year -old named Shirley Hubbard, who was last seen in November of 1974.

[1220] She was from a broken home.

[1221] There was a couple girls who were found in that basement who had been in either foster care or their parents were divorced, and they had started going to the West's house or hanging out there and then disappeared.

[1222] One of those was 18 -year -old Juanita Mott, who that was exactly her story.

[1223] So those were the bodies in the same.

[1224] cellar and then they had also dug up the garden yeah which is where near the patio where heather was buried and they found shirley ann robinson an 18 year old who had moved into the west's house she started having a fair with fred oh no and gotten pregnant by him in may of 1978 and that's when she disappeared so she her body was in the garden so basically the police thinking that they're just looking for the missing daughter yeah discovered that basically these two people had been like these monstrous serial killers and sex abusers, most of the bodies had been decapitated and dismembered?

[1225] Thank you.

[1226] Dismembered.

[1227] Holy shit.

[1228] Yeah.

[1229] And just clearly there was evidence of torture.

[1230] This wasn't just like a simple, you know, it was they were the worst or the worst.

[1231] They and the problem is that they have no evidence that Rosemary is tied to any of these murders until they dig up the kitchen floor in the West's old house on Midland Avenue.

[1232] Can you imagine if you're living there and you got a knock at the door and they're like, hey, hi.

[1233] Hi, real quick.

[1234] Sorry, we're the police.

[1235] You know you got a deal on this house.

[1236] There's a reason that you'd feel cold spots around and bad vibes always.

[1237] Oh, no. Because Fred's daughter, Charmaine's body was buried.

[1238] So remember when Charmaine disappeared because Fred was.

[1239] in jail.

[1240] Well, Rosemary killed her.

[1241] And then when Fred got out of jail, Rosemary was, she had hidden the body, Fred's the one that put the body under the kitchen floor.

[1242] Oh, my God.

[1243] Yeah.

[1244] So he, they were in on it together from the beginning.

[1245] Yeah.

[1246] And they actually had a, for, there's, there's a, there's a, there's lots of documentaries you can watch on the West, the West's.

[1247] There's two on YouTube and one of them is about the, uh, forensic dentistry and how much it took, played into this case because that's how they pinpointed the time of Charmaine's death and that's how they got it to say Rosemary is the one who was responsible not Fred because he was in jail Oh, that's good otherwise they probably wouldn't have they would have given her a plea to like testify against her or some shit like she wasn't necessarily involved or whatever and this was like no no no she was she had a hand in the killing and she had a hand in this torture and all you know all of that Holy shit so eventually Rose is charged with 10 counts of murder and Fred is charged with 12 counts of murder and when they go to trial so they separate the two of them when they go to trial Rose will not look at or interact with Fred in any way and it basically makes him go crazy and he freaks out and hangs himself in his cell so he commits suicide he never he basically doesn't he never gets charged with anything because he commits suicide He never studied this murder, clearly, or these people, you know?

[1248] They're so fucking crazy and the whole thing and his...

[1249] What a dick, he fucking hanged himself?

[1250] Yeah, but if you watch, like, especially an appropriate adult, his weird connection with her and his weird, like, he defends her in the beginning, he says she has nothing to do with it in the beginning, and then it's just, it's a classic case of that, like, he's the her abuser, but then I think over the years she became his.

[1251] Yeah, yeah.

[1252] Before a suicide, there's an interview with the police.

[1253] where he's quoted as saying, you've the murders wrong.

[1254] Nobody went through hell.

[1255] It was sexual encounters gone wrong.

[1256] So he tried to intimate that it was some kind of like sex play where people were, it was voluntary up until the last minute.

[1257] You know, that thing were people are getting into getting decapitated during sex.

[1258] Right.

[1259] And also that that accident doesn't happen 12 times, you fucking asshole.

[1260] No. Here's the cool part.

[1261] Carolyn Roberts, who is a hitchhiker who was afraid to testify for her own trial.

[1262] The nanny.

[1263] came back and testified in this murder trial, and she's the reason that Rosemary West got convicted and is still in jail to this day.

[1264] She's still alive.

[1265] She's still in jail.

[1266] Last July, she was diagnosed with glaucoma, and she's going blind.

[1267] And she said in a quote to the newspaper, if I go blind, I'm going to commit suicide.

[1268] And everyone's like, okay.

[1269] Yeah, everyone's like, that's fine.

[1270] Oh, my God.

[1271] The really weird thing is in 1990.

[1272] they went to demolish 25 Cromwell Street.

[1273] That's when the old house, the new house.

[1274] The new house.

[1275] That's where all the horrible things happened.

[1276] It took them five days to knock the house down.

[1277] I don't, I'm not sure if, I mean, it was made of cement.

[1278] If he did so much building and burying and cementing and doing things inside the house, I mean, the whole thing was, you know, it was like this bizarre fortress that they had built.

[1279] that these horrible things were happening.

[1280] And of course, the police were immediately, like, get rid of that as it, as an entity.

[1281] Yeah.

[1282] It just, but then it just took them forever.

[1283] It's like they couldn't knock it down.

[1284] So that's the quickest, most lightest, like, dipping into talking about the important things, but not living in the horror show.

[1285] But you definitely can.

[1286] I mean.

[1287] You know I'm gonna.

[1288] Yeah.

[1289] There's, but there's really good.

[1290] I mean, appropriate adult is such an incredible, um, it's such an incredible way to present the story because Janet Leach as this person who is like the, you know, mandated witness is sitting there and, you know, also it was her first case as an appropriate adult.

[1291] I feel like never have a first case anywhere because it's always of anything.

[1292] I know, but for something like this, you'd think it would be like, you know, just standard physical child abuse where she gets used to it, cuts her teeth.

[1293] And there's just this amazing scene where we're just this amazing scene where we're when he starts confessing.

[1294] He's saying it like, he goes, well, yeah, I did bury Heather's body under the patio.

[1295] Like, he just starts talking about it like they're talking about the news.

[1296] And in the background, Emily Watson playing Janet Leach is just sitting there with her face.

[1297] It looks like her face is slowly dropping off of her skull because she's just like, what the fuck.

[1298] And she's there as his guy.

[1299] Yeah.

[1300] You know, she's supposed to be his right -hand man of like, you're there if the police try to abuse me. You're there if the, and suddenly this is the monster that she has to work with.

[1301] And then it basically The story comes out through their relationship Where he keeps turning to her and going You're the only one that you know You're the only friend I have in the world She's like I'm not your friend It's incredible and she has her own whole life She has kids that like she's not getting home to late Because she has to work on this case That every word she hears is like She can't unhear it And then she goes home and looks to her beautiful children They're all sitting around the dinner table It's amazing I think that is like the best way to tell the story story is through a person whose life is so horribly impacted.

[1302] Then it goes into whole things of testifying and her selling her story because she didn't have a ton of money and all the judgments.

[1303] And all the therapy she's going to need afterwards.

[1304] Insanity.

[1305] So crazy.

[1306] So watch Appropriate Adult Parts 1 and 2.

[1307] I'm gonna.

[1308] Yeah.

[1309] That was amazing.

[1310] So now we got that done.

[1311] We never have to talk about that fucking those monsters again.

[1312] Karen, great job.

[1313] Thank you.

[1314] Thank you.

[1315] That was very...

[1316] It has bothered me that I haven't done it just because it is one of the worst of the worst.

[1317] Yeah.

[1318] And we talk about terrible stuff all the time, but for some reason...

[1319] Yeah, it is weird that we never did that.

[1320] It's just so much...

[1321] It's just so specifically awful.

[1322] Yeah.

[1323] Really bad.

[1324] Well, speaking of the opposite of awful.

[1325] Right.

[1326] Which we always do at the end.

[1327] We always try to do.

[1328] I have one.

[1329] What's your fucking hooray?

[1330] I have one at hand this week.

[1331] I love it.

[1332] And part of the reason last week that I was...

[1333] hesitating so much as because I wanted to do this one.

[1334] I just hadn't finished the audio book yet.

[1335] Oh, yeah.

[1336] So I wanted to wait until I was done.

[1337] Okay.

[1338] So this fucking book, and now I'm going to get the, I'm make sure I say the guy's name correctly.

[1339] But I actually think I'm going to listen to it again because the story is so goddamn insane.

[1340] And it was recommended to me by friend of the show, Billy Jensen.

[1341] It's called Bad Blood.

[1342] And it's written by a man named John Kerry Rue.

[1343] And he is a Washington, sorry, a Wall Street Journal reporter.

[1344] And this story got brought to him.

[1345] And it is the, it's called Bad Blood, Secrets and Lies, and a Silicon Valley startup.

[1346] And I don't want to tell you too much about it, but basically when all the dot -coms, the, you know, the startup boom happened.

[1347] And it's, it begins around 2007.

[1348] And it's a 22 -year -old Stanford dropout who begins her own tech company.

[1349] And she's going to start a new type of blood testing system where instead of using hypodermic needles, which she claims to be scared of, she's going to start a finger stick system where you only need a drop of blood.

[1350] And then they can diagnose diseases and tell you what's wrong with you and all this stuff.

[1351] and she basically takes that concept, gets all this financial backing, and eventually this company gets evaluated at being worth $400 billion.

[1352] And she is on the covers of all the magazines and all this stuff.

[1353] Well, the truth of it, the whole fucking thing is a scam.

[1354] I love it.

[1355] She doesn't have any medical experience.

[1356] She doesn't have any science experience.

[1357] She doesn't know anything about this thing.

[1358] She is such a big.

[1359] uh you know that she's starting a fucking startup for she just wants the idea of it to happen so all the scientists over the years that start to come and work for her and to try to build this thing or like yeah this it doesn't exist already because it can't exist right you need more blood than that to test for things um and she's like basically is like make it happen she gets all these people powerful people on the board i picture her as janis from the puppets she's she's like evil janis from the muppets But there's parts of this book, it's this thing of how if you have a bunch of money and you're a liar, like, and you're a sociopathously, you can kind of do anything you want because she keeps on convincing people to back her, give her money and support her while scientists and medical experts go, this isn't real.

[1360] And her board and all these people go, you're fired.

[1361] And they just keep getting rid of the naysayers.

[1362] Yeah, yeah.

[1363] And until.

[1364] It's a great way to live your life is just get rid of it.

[1365] people who like tried to help you yeah look around your life if you're the kind of person that can't be contradicted or criticized or told anything negative about yourself and because of that you cut people out of your life you're going to have humongous problems you have to have those voices and whether whether it's in your personal life or starting a a a business where people's lives are on the line she had a humongous deal with Safeway she had a huge deal with Walgreens.

[1366] Oh, my God.

[1367] They were going to set up like these wellness centers in Walgreens where you could go in, get your finger -pricked, and in four hours, they'd tell you if you had any disease at all.

[1368] That was like the selling point.

[1369] And she was like, yep, we can make it happen.

[1370] And all the scientists are like, it doesn't, it's not real.

[1371] What's it called bad blood?

[1372] It's called bad blood.

[1373] And it's one of the best books I've listened to in a really long time.

[1374] I love it.

[1375] Okay, cool.

[1376] Wait, did I just tell the whole fucking book?

[1377] Sorry.

[1378] I didn't mean to go on that long.

[1379] I just loved it.

[1380] That's exciting.

[1381] I guess mine is that I'm going on vacation tomorrow for the first time in a very long time.

[1382] But also everyone go listen to the new season of In the Dark now that it's over.

[1383] It's really upsetting but in a good way.

[1384] And it's a great podcast too.

[1385] And I'm just excited to fucking lay out and eat raw seafood towers.

[1386] and listen to books and podcasts and just fucking chill and this is going to be so nice and like i don't know man it's yeah Vince and i are just going to chill my dad and marty's going to be here with the cats it's going to be great great yeah perfect that's it everyone needs a little vacay every now and then uh yeah they do yeah they do some my tides swim up bar there's a swim up bar where i'm saying sure there is never done that in my life you can swim all around that pool I got a fucking bikini or a bathing suit that has bomb pops all over it.

[1387] What are bomb pops?

[1388] There's those popsicles that look the redway and blue popsicles.

[1389] Oh, yeah.

[1390] It's cute.

[1391] I'm excited.

[1392] That's going to be awesome.

[1393] Yeah.

[1394] All right.

[1395] Well, you have to tell us all about it when you get back.

[1396] I will.

[1397] Everyone, thank you so much for listening.

[1398] Email us at, no, my favorite murder at Gmail.

[1399] No, thank you.

[1400] We really appreciate you guys.

[1401] This is a really fun fucking time in our lives that we did not expect to happen.

[1402] And it's all because you guys listen to us and like us for some reason and just keep budding in on our private conversations.

[1403] The more we yell at you, the more you stay.

[1404] It's such a great relationship.

[1405] It is.

[1406] Yeah, thanks for being there and stay sexy.

[1407] And don't get murdered.

[1408] Bye.

[1409] Yeah.

[1410] You want a cookie?

[1411] Good one.

[1412] A cookie?

[1413] Yeah.

[1414] All right.

[1415] All right.

[1416] Goodbye.