S11 E8: [Molly] Unimaginable Rage

[0] Wondry Plus subscribers can listen to something was wrong early and ad -free right now.

[1] Join Wondry Plus in the Wondry app or on Apple Podcasts.

[2] I'm Dan Tversky.

[3] In 2011, something strange began to happen at a high school in upstate New York.

[4] A mystery illness, bizarre symptoms, and spreading fast.

[5] What's the answer?

[6] And what do you do if they tell you it's all in your head?

[7] Hysterical.

[8] A new podcast from Wondry and Pineapple Street Studios.

[9] Binge all episodes of hysterical early and ad -free on Wondery Plus.

[10] Something Was Wrong is intended for mature audiences.

[11] Episodes can discuss topics that can be triggering, such as emotional, physical, and sexual violence, suicide, and murder.

[12] I am not a therapist or a doctor.

[13] If you're in need of support, please visit something was wrong .com slash resources for a list of nonprofit organizations that can help.

[14] Some names have been changed for anonymity purposes.

[15] Opinions expressed by the guests on the show are their own and do not necessarily represent the views of myself or audio chuck.

[16] Resources and source material are linked in the episode notes.

[17] Thank you so much for listening.

[18] According to an article written by Dr. Dorothy Suskind, emotional abuse in the workplace often begins in subtle and covert ways.

[19] Workplace bullying is defined by experts as a malicious attempt to force a person out of the workplace through unjustified accusations, humiliation, general harassment, emotional abuse, and or terror.

[20] This may result in psychological trauma and physical distress fostered by a toxic culture that tolerates and at times propels the abuse.

[21] Research has revealed that targets of workplace abuse frequently share common characteristics, such as highly competent, creative, and top performers.

[22] They're often uninterested in all.

[23] office politics, possess a kind -hearted outlook, are highly respected, and co -workers often look to them for advice.

[24] Oppositely, workplace bullies tend to be narcissistic, lacking in job expertise, adept at taking credit for others' efforts, often operating behind a veil of secrecy, and seek to control their targets through manipulation, gossip, sabotage, gaslighting, and isolation.

[25] Workplace abusers are often threatened by their target's abilities, innovation, and likeability, and thus attempt to push their targets out.

[26] Studies show that workplace bullies frequently contact their human resources department to express their concerns regarding their targets' performance and or mental health.

[27] Often, the workplace abuser will share their concerns with upper management, creating perceived employment protection for themselves in the event their target later reports their abuse.

[28] As the work environment stress builds and the isolation from coworkers intensifies, the abused person often experiences feelings of hopelessness that can be overwhelming.

[29] According to the 2021 Workplace Bullying Institute, an estimated 46 .8 million American workers experience emotional abuse.

[30] Workplace bullying has increased to an estimated 30 % in 2021 compared to a reported 19 % in a 2017 survey.

[31] The survey also revealed that remote workers are more likely to experience workplace bullying.

[32] Research reveals that same gender bullying accounts for 61 % of cases and that workplace bullies were reported by their targets as 67 % male and 33 % percent.

[33] female in a 2021 survey of adult Americans.

[34] 25 of those surveyed expressed that they felt the COVID -19 pandemic led to increased bullying.

[35] After approximately 6 to 12 months of unrelenting emotional abuse, 74 % of victims reported being transferred, terminated, or discharged.

[36] I'm Tiffany Reese, and this is, something was wrong.

[37] Please note, all names in the story have been changed, and the gender and ages of the minor involved in the story have been excluded out of an abundance of caution.

[38] Thank you.

[39] Hi, my name is Molly, and I am going to be sharing my story of a nanny job that I had.

[40] One summer, I was a camp counselor, And at the end of the week, I told all the parents that I was looking for and nanny job.

[41] One of the children's parents came up to me and said that they were actually looking for a new nanny.

[42] And I thought that this was just the universe coming together.

[43] Me and the mom exchanged our contact information.

[44] And we started discussing the job over email.

[45] The children's mom, Cynthia, was hesitant.

[46] to hire Molly without her first meeting the two children, Blair and Alex.

[47] She sent me an email warning me about how one of her children was a little bit difficult.

[48] In the email, she said, first, I would want you to spend a little time with Alex so that you are eyes wide open.

[49] They're a really good kid, but they can push buttons.

[50] They've made a ton of progress, but they are still sometimes.

[51] I don't think it would be an issue for you as a teacher dealing with a lot of camper kiddos, probably not anything you haven't seen, but I just want to put it out there.

[52] Not trying to scare you, but I believe in full transparency.

[53] I say this not because I am concerned, but because I want you to have the full picture.

[54] And I had been a teacher for many years, and I had seen a lot of behavioral issues.

[55] And so I really did believe her.

[56] when she said that it was going to be nothing I couldn't handle.

[57] Reading this back, it makes me a little angry because she literally says I want you to have the full picture, and this was actually nothing even close to the full picture, really minimizing what was to come.

[58] After meeting the children went well, Cynthia and her husband Derek hired Molly as their full -time nanny, and she started working for the family a few weeks later.

[59] In the house, there were two kids, Blair and Alex, and I was in charge of taking care of them, getting them to school.

[60] I primarily was in contact with the mom, Cynthia, and she had a husband named Derek.

[61] So it was a family of four, seemingly typical family.

[62] It was just like the usual nanny job.

[63] I was tidying up the house, writing errands.

[64] Something that I noticed right off the back was how much money this family had.

[65] And I think the money dynamic did play into a lot of the way that the family behaved.

[66] The kids pretty much got whatever they wanted whenever they wanted.

[67] And if they did not get it immediately, they would throw huge tantrums, like breaking down, crying, screaming, hitting things.

[68] And the parents would always give into it.

[69] That was not my style.

[70] so I didn't at first.

[71] About a month into my nanny job, everything honestly was going completely fine.

[72] Other than the kids growing tantrums, it really was nothing that I couldn't handle.

[73] One afternoon, Molly and Alex were waiting for Blair to finish with a piano lesson when she had her first concerning incident with Alex.

[74] Alex wanted to peek in and kind of see what was going on and asked me if they could.

[75] And I said, no, don't go away.

[76] in there because you're going to interrupt the lesson.

[77] Alex got very insistent about going in the room and started to get very angry.

[78] And I was like, no, just wait until they're done.

[79] And they kept asking and asking and asking.

[80] And I kept saying no. And then all of a sudden, it was like a flip had completely switched.

[81] Alex got this look so angry, came at me, grabbed both of my arms and pinned.

[82] them.

[83] It was very hard and it really hurt me. Then Alex advanced on me and kept advancing on me and I left the building to get a little bit of space to see what was going on with them.

[84] And for the next 10 minutes or so, Alex was effectively chasing me around the school campus.

[85] Every time they would approach me, they would punch me and hit me again and again.

[86] and it was like I was being terrorized.

[87] I was literally running away from this kid and they were running after me screaming in my face.

[88] You are so stupid.

[89] You're the worst nanny ever.

[90] Wait until I tell my mom, you're going to be fired.

[91] This is all your fault, literally screaming within inches of my face.

[92] I was so taken aback because I had never experienced anything like this.

[93] I had never been verbally and physically assaulted by a child that I was nannying and I was really confused and really scared.

[94] I don't remember what finally got Alex to calm down, but I was not really okay that day.

[95] I went in and grabbed the other sibling out of piano and we went home.

[96] Molly took the two children home and she didn't bring up the incident in front of Alex out of fear of the child's reaction.

[97] So she texted Alex's mom's sister.

[98] Cynthia, while they were sitting in the same room, to let her know what had taken place.

[99] Molly expressed her concern over Alex's attack and asked Cynthia to talk with the child about what took place.

[100] In my experience, as a nanny, if anything like this had ever happened to me before, the parents would completely flip out and the child would be punished appropriately because it's so not okay and so inappropriate, especially so early in the nanny job, it sets a very weird precedent.

[101] I was expecting Alex to be reprimanded very severely.

[102] She ended up pulling Alex into her office and I could hear them talking for a little and then Alex started screaming at her and it was hard to hear, but she ended up calling me into the office too.

[103] I'm expecting the mom to be pretty mad and say, I need you to apologize to Molly because she did not deserve this.

[104] Instead, I was actually asked to hear Alex's version of the story.

[105] Then Alex started verbally berating me again, calling me stupid and a liar after I had told the mom what had happened.

[106] They said that the reason why they got so upset in the first place is because I had grabbed and hit Alex on the arms first.

[107] My jaw dropped because, now this kid is accusing me. The next thing I know, I'm explaining myself to this kid with absolutely no backup.

[108] It was really clear at that moment that Cynthia was not going to tell Alex that they did anything wrong.

[109] And Alex was convinced that they were just completely right in this situation.

[110] Cynthia then proceeded to tell me how I should have handled the situation differently, how I should have maybe given Alex my phone to calm them down, how I should have maybe just let Alex into the lesson, or I should have ignored Alex.

[111] It was such a ridiculous response to the situation because I had done literally nothing wrong, but I was made to feel and believe that it was my fault.

[112] After I left that day, I sat in my car, and just completely lost it.

[113] I started crying.

[114] I was not only extremely scared and confused in the situation of physical abuse, but then when I brought it up with the mom and had it completely minimized in front of my face, not only minimized, but the fact that I was blamed for the situation, it felt really weird and it felt really, really off.

[115] And it was hard to say at the time, exactly what I was feeling.

[116] I just knew that it was not okay.

[117] Looking back, I know that this is called love bombing, but in the moment, I took it at face value.

[118] I ended up getting an email from Cynthia saying, Molly, sorry yesterday was tough.

[119] I talked to Alex at length about crossing boundaries.

[120] They told me that you make our family 100 % better, and we all feel the same way.

[121] I am sorry.

[122] So me being like a trusting being an honest individual, I fully believed everything she said.

[123] I was like, great, she talked to Alex about boundaries.

[124] Looking back, I really do not think that that is true in any way.

[125] The next couple months, again, no huge incidents.

[126] I definitely had my guard up a little bit more because I now knew what Alex was capable of.

[127] The tantrums were just out of control.

[128] Anytime Alex didn't get their way, it was just like the end of the world.

[129] and Alex would fly into a rage at any second.

[130] It didn't get physical again until one day I don't remember the reason, but Alex was extremely upset when we were on our way to a tutoring class.

[131] It was me, Alex, and Blair, and we were all in the elevator of the building that the tutoring was in.

[132] And Alex was yelling and screaming at both Blair and I. I can't remember the reason it wasn't a big one, but that didn't really matter to Alex's emotional outburst.

[133] Blair and I are just ignoring Alex because they were being out of control.

[134] And I think that that really made Alex mad because all of a sudden, Alex turned to Blair, pulled their arm back and punched Blair in the stomach as hard as they could.

[135] It was so hard that Blair ended up getting the wind knocked out of them and collapsed to the ground.

[136] It was very shocking to see this because Alex is bigger than Blair.

[137] Blair is a small child.

[138] And to get punched by your older sibling in that way is extremely upsetting to see.

[139] Blair was trying to cry but could not breathe because the wind was knocked out of them.

[140] Later in the day when they returned home, Molly shared what had happened with the children's father, Derek.

[141] I was extremely serious about the severity of the situation because sibling corals is one thing, but this was so over the line.

[142] When Alex punched Blair, it was with the intention of causing extreme physical harm.

[143] When I bring this up to Derek, it's just extremely minimized.

[144] Every time an incident like this occurred, there was never any follow -up with me. The parents would just say, okay, we handled it.

[145] We're handling it.

[146] And again, I believed them.

[147] I was like, okay, great, they're the parents.

[148] They know what they're doing.

[149] Incidents like this keep happening, and honestly, they're escalating, and they started to fit the pattern.

[150] Alex wouldn't get their way, and this could range from not getting a piece of candy to not winning at a board game, to not understanding homework.

[151] And then they would become in, Raged, which would turn into verbal abuse, such as, you're stupid, you're nothing, I'm smarter than you, you're wrong, you're a liar.

[152] And unless I did everything in my power to submit and agree and diffuse the situation, it would escalate into Alex breaking something around the house.

[153] Whatever was in reach, Alex would grab and destroy, rip up paper, smash chairs to the ground.

[154] and if they were still unsatisfied with that, it would turn into a physical attack on whoever was around them.

[155] This included me, but turned into basically walking on eggshells around Alex because no matter what you did, it would end in these episodes of rage.

[156] Having somebody terrorizing the house around you, verbally berating you, it was all very scary.

[157] Looking back, hindsight's 2020, I think I would have known that something was really wrong, but because it was escalating so slowly, it was just like the norm.

[158] It was really this weird environment.

[159] There was always a voice in the back of my head saying, there's something wrong here.

[160] This does not feel right.

[161] I do not feel safe.

[162] Every time I would bring it up with the parents, they would either minimize it and gaslight me and say, oh, you're just too sensitive.

[163] Oh, they didn't mean it that way.

[164] Or they would blame me. Like, oh, you should have done this.

[165] You should have done this differently.

[166] Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.

[167] Basically victim blaming, not here for it.

[168] Cynthia and Derek began forwarding emails to Molly that they had received from Alex's school teachers regarding their concerns with Alex's behavior.

[169] And they all kind of say the same thing, basically describing a typical Alex incident.

[170] Alex was playing some game and they were losing.

[171] They were not happy and they flew into a rage and started calling other students stupid, terrible, cheaters.

[172] All these emails from school were exactly what I was experiencing too.

[173] Reading back, it's nice to see that I wasn't alone.

[174] However, that's not how I saw it at the time.

[175] Every time any incident occurred with me at school, with anyone, the parents were in extreme denial about the reality of the situation.

[176] They always claimed they talked about it to Alex, and sometimes they would talk to Alex about it in front of me, but then Alex would double down on how everyone else was wrong, and they would do everything in their power to keep Alex from exploding.

[177] How are you navigating this emotionally?

[178] I knew that Alex's behavior was not typical.

[179] I have worked with kids all my life.

[180] And this was really, truly like nothing I had ever seen before, the emotional outburst, the rage.

[181] But honestly, it happened so much that it was just my new normal.

[182] I think if these were isolated incidents, that would be different or if it happened to me now looking back, I would be like, oh, no thank you.

[183] Bye -bye.

[184] But at the time, it was like a slow burn.

[185] The escalation was slow, but the frequency was every day, multiple times a day, all the time.

[186] I think the money I was making had a lot to do with how much I put up with.

[187] It was the most money I had ever made in my life.

[188] I hate to say it, but it's true.

[189] I was making a lot of money, and I think that that was an element of control as well.

[190] I was constantly gaslit by Alex.

[191] I was also gaslit a ton by the parents in regards to Alex.

[192] I think that definitely played into the severity of Alex's behavior.

[193] I think that this is the culture of their household, because I've seen it.

[194] I know that it's a culture of emotional abuse, minimization, gaslighting, victim blaming.

[195] I see it within the family.

[196] And unfortunately, I got wrapped into it as well.

[197] And I think, too, when the parents would minimize and when the parents would gaslight and victim blame in front of Alex, it embolded Alex and said, basically, you know what, Alex, you can do whatever you want, want with zero consequences.

[198] It would be like, I need you to give me your iPad.

[199] And that would just set Alex off.

[200] It would be like, no, Alex, we're about to have dinner.

[201] You can't have ice cream.

[202] And they would blow up.

[203] Alex would get frustrated because the math homework was too hard.

[204] And they would explode.

[205] It was very seemingly small things.

[206] It honestly didn't matter.

[207] And sometimes it was nothing.

[208] Sometimes I think, it was just because Alex was bored.

[209] Honestly, the outbursts were so concerning and so scary that I was never really concerned with the reason.

[210] It was anything and everything.

[211] Something that was also really off was the parents' relationship with each other.

[212] Their dynamic was uncomfortable to say the least.

[213] It was Cynthia who dealt with.

[214] everything parenting -wise punishments, dealing with outbursts, scheduling, getting the kids where they needed to be, et cetera.

[215] And Derek was really only ever brought into parenting when the situation was so bad that Cynthia needed Derek's help.

[216] Cynthia would say, Alex did this today.

[217] Alex did this to Molly today.

[218] Alex did this to Blair today.

[219] And the response from Derek was extremely disturbing.

[220] He would blame Cynthia.

[221] He would say, well, why didn't she do something to mitigate it?

[222] Well, why did this happen when you were there?

[223] Why did this happen?

[224] The response from Derek to Cynthia exactly mirrored Cynthia's response to me when I had a concern.

[225] I'm looking at this couple and I'm like, oh, I see.

[226] Okay, it's this cycle.

[227] I didn't see that at the time, the pattern of abuse, but now I do.

[228] The dad, Derek, was also a very short fuse, and I think Cynthia was scared of him in a lot of ways.

[229] She could never bring up anything in casual conversation.

[230] Cynthia would say something, we would be chatting, whatever.

[231] And Derek would interject and be like, well, that was really stupid of you.

[232] I still have a bad taste in my mouth about Alex and Cynthia.

[233] But there's something about Derek that is just so sinister to me. I honestly think that everything is basically all his fault because he treats his wife in an emotionally abusive way.

[234] He also had his own rage outbursts where he would destroy these kids' toys in front of them.

[235] And honestly, the terrorization that I got from, Alex looked a lot like the terrorization that Alex, Blair, and Cynthia all got from Derek.

[236] I didn't have a lot of interaction with him, but looking back, I think that that was subconscious slash on purpose because I never wanted to be around him.

[237] I didn't like being around him.

[238] I didn't like how I felt when I was around him.

[239] I didn't like how he treated other people.

[240] Despite many attempts by Molly and the teachers at school to warn Cynthia and Derek about Alex's violent behavior, it continued to escalate.

[241] The fuse is just getting shorter and shorter, and the reactions are getting bigger and bigger and more dangerous and way more scary.

[242] The physical abuse was getting way more frequent at this time, and honestly, this is difficult to verbalize, but it was almost a relief because physical abuse is something that is tangible.

[243] That is something that I can say to people, I can say, this kid that I was nannying punched me. And people are like, oh my God, that is horrible.

[244] The psychological abuse and the emotional abuse, on the other hand, was not something that I ever talked about with anybody because it's very hard to articulate.

[245] And honestly, it's way worse for me. In this situation, the emotional and psychological abuse, was way worse than the physical violence.

[246] It was way worse because when it would happen, the mom would gaslight me. When it would happen, it would be made to be my fault.

[247] And so I just stopped bringing it up because at some point when you hear that it's your fault so many times, you start to believe it.

[248] I never, ever thought something like this would happen to me. I thought if I'm being emotionally abused or manipulated, I'm going to know it.

[249] And you don't know it because it happens so slow that it just becomes your reality.

[250] What was the relationship between Alex and Blair like?

[251] Alex and Blair's relationship was very interesting.

[252] You have Alex, the older sibling, very abusive, very scary to be around.

[253] And then you have this younger sibling, Blair, who honestly has to work as Alex's buffer.

[254] When Alex was having an outburst, Blair would always come to Alex's side, try to calm Alex down, try to stop it from exploding, because Blair has experienced this their whole life.

[255] And I think Blair was just trying to do everything they could to calm Alex down, because when Alex got into a rage, it would emotionally and physically affect Blair.

[256] Blair honestly seemed to be Alex's parent sometimes, which for such a young kid, it's really sad because that's so much responsibility for a younger sibling.

[257] The whole family dynamic was extremely toxic and there was a ton of learned toxic behavior with the kids too.

[258] Blair would have to mitigate a lot of siblings.

[259] situations, because that's what Blair saw their mom do all the time with the dad.

[260] So I had been working with the family for a while now.

[261] And in March of 2020, as we all know, quarantine began.

[262] Looking back, this was a pretty big turning point for me with the family before quarantine.

[263] I was really able to limit my time with them.

[264] I was really only with the kids and family like two or three hours a day because the rest of the time I was running errands for them, tidying up, doing other things just kind of by myself.

[265] So I was okay with the amount of time I was spending with the family.

[266] This all changed during quarantine.

[267] All of a sudden, the kids couldn't go to school.

[268] The parents still had to work.

[269] So it was just besieged, assumed that for the first little bit, I would come in eight to 10 hours a day and look after the kids, help them with school.

[270] It's the entire family and me in the house altogether because no one can go into the office.

[271] No one can go into school.

[272] And I was trying to set a good precedent for spending so much time with the kids during quarantine.

[273] I would use a reward system.

[274] Like if they wanted ice cream.

[275] Yeah, sure, but you have to finish your schoolwork first.

[276] When the kids would ask me for something, I would say no, and they would run upstairs and interrupt their parents' workday and demand that they get whatever they asked for.

[277] And the parents would just say immediately yes.

[278] It turned into me saying no, the kids throwing a tantrum with their parents and them getting it anyway.

[279] After this happened for a few days, the parents let me know and no uncertain terms that I should basically just do whatever I could to keep the kids from interrupting the parents' workday.

[280] That was the most important thing was that the parents were not to be interrupted.

[281] This really stepped on my authority, which for any nannies and teachers out there, you know that when you don't have authority, you have zero control of the situation.

[282] And it turned into me giving into the kids every whim because the kids also knew that it was the most important thing not to interrupt the parents' workday.

[283] So they used it to get what they wanted, especially Alex.

[284] And this is where the manipulation kind of took a turn as well.

[285] Also during this time, I was extremely stressed about the state of the world.

[286] There was this virus going around that nobody really knew anything about.

[287] We're having to take all these precautions.

[288] I'm scared I'm going to get the virus.

[289] I don't want to do anything.

[290] I don't want to go anywhere, even to the grocery store.

[291] Not only am I spending eight to 10 hours a day with this extremely toxic family, but I'm also having to navigate the beginning weeks of COVID and quarantine when really nobody had any idea what was going on, what was going to happen.

[292] So I was extremely anxious at this time.

[293] At the end of one of those long quarantine days, Cynthia pulled Molly aside to let her know that one of the neighborhood families that the kids often played with had tested positive for COVID -19.

[294] At the time, this was my first, quote -unquote, exposure.

[295] And Cynthia said, if you don't want to come into work, that's totally fine.

[296] We respect your choice.

[297] And I said, okay, let me think about it.

[298] So I ended up deciding to not go into work.

[299] because I was really nervous about the virus and if the kids had been exposed, then I didn't really want to put myself in that situation.

[300] I let Cynthia know via text that I was extremely stressed out about this decision, but I thought it was best for me to stay home.

[301] Instead of being supportive, like she said she would, they called me and I answer, thinking it's Cynthia, and it was actually Blair on the phone.

[302] And Blair said, are you scared of COVID?

[303] I remember in the moment feeling extremely manipulated.

[304] So this grown woman knows that I'm stressed out about this.

[305] It was a really hard decision to make.

[306] And she's putting her young kid on the phone to ask me my opinion about COVID.

[307] I was not about it.

[308] I asked Blair to give the phone to their mom.

[309] Instead of being supportive, they basically said I was completely overreacting and that I was misinterpreting the COVID situation.

[310] I already felt weird about going into Nanny because there was a stay -at -home order at the time.

[311] And when I would go to Nanny, I was not only leaving my home, but they would make me go to the store.

[312] They would make me take the kids' places.

[313] And I was really uncomfortable.

[314] And so I told them, based on the exposure, I'd like to stay home for 10 days to see if I develop symptoms.

[315] And this turned into a situation where Cynthia wasn't getting what she wanted.

[316] And she ended up throwing a tantrum as well.

[317] It was really interesting to see this from the mom because I had seen it from the kids countless times.

[318] And she was trying to basically manipulate me into coming back and saying that my interpretation of the COVID situation was wrong and I didn't understand the stay -at -home order or I'm taking it too seriously.

[319] I stick to my guns and I offered to take unpaid leave.

[320] She once again tells me I'm making the wrong decision.

[321] and that I'm leaving them in a horrible spot.

[322] And I'm crying on the phone because I'm so upset that I'm disappointing them.

[323] And they knew I wanted to make them happy.

[324] So when I didn't, by wanting to stay home because of COVID, they let me know that I was disappointing them.

[325] And this was really, really, really difficult for me in a lot of ways.

[326] A week later, no symptoms.

[327] I go back to work with the kids.

[328] And when I returned, I told Cynthia, I was like, listen, I cannot work these eight to ten hour days.

[329] It's too much for me. and I will be working six hours a day with the kids, and that's really all I can do.

[330] That's my limit.

[331] She agrees and actually ends up hiring a second nanny.

[332] Molly felt a little better when she started setting more boundaries with Cynthia, and the family agreed to hire a second nanny.

[333] Finally, she had someone else outside of the family to share their perspective.

[334] An incident would happen with the kids, and the other nanny would be like, what the hell was that?

[335] And it was really nice to have someone to validate my feelings.

[336] I could never bring up anything with the parents without being gaslit or blamed.

[337] And this other nanny was like, no, this is pretty messed up.

[338] She wasn't in the thick of it.

[339] So she was like, I'm just here for the money and I'm really not going to be bothered by the way the kids treat me. But yeah, I loved having the other nanny there.

[340] It was nice to have an adult who wasn't questioning my money.

[341] reality all the time.

[342] That summer, the second nanny wasn't able to work as often, so Molly was asked to up her hours and days with the kids again.

[343] Honestly, I was just trying to survive.

[344] I was extremely stressed about the COVID thing.

[345] There was nothing open, so I couldn't even take the kids to a movie or a museum.

[346] So it was me and the entire family in the house all day, every single day.

[347] Summer 2020 was one of the worst times of my entire life.

[348] I honestly don't remember a lot of that time.

[349] And my therapist says that that's often a coping mechanism for abuse survivors, where in the moment you literally cannot process something so it doesn't form a memory.

[350] It's honestly a little hazy, but there are some pretty big incidents that stick out to me and I remember quite clearly.

[351] I really hated playing any type of game or sports with Alex because they could not stand to lose and would just lie the entire time and would cheat.

[352] Alex would cheat right in front of me, and I would say, you just cheated, I just saw you.

[353] And Alex would immediately, in the moment, say I was wrong and I'm making it up and I'm cheating and Alex would fly into a rage, throw things, rip things, wreck the game, verbally berate me. Also, at the time, I had a pretty bad back injury and I wasn't able to move around very easily without pain and Alex would get so mad and frustrated that they would tell me to get over it and Alex would often say that I was overreacting and that my back injury couldn't have been that bad or that I was lying about it.

[354] Any game we would play, if I was worse than Alex, Alex would tell me how bad I was and that I needed to be better.

[355] He would use it as an excuse to abuse me verbally and honestly, sometimes physically as well.

[356] So it was this really weird balancing act.

[357] I couldn't be too good and I couldn't be too.

[358] bad.

[359] I had to be just right.

[360] Or it would send Alex into a rage.

[361] For quarantine, the family got a ping pong table and Alex wanted to play all the time.

[362] I would say no because I hated playing games with Alex.

[363] But when I would say no to anything, Alex would run upstairs and complain to Cynthia who would then force me to play with Alex.

[364] Alex could not handle not being good at something.

[365] So any time homework or schoolwork got difficult or confusing, Alex would destroy the homework or throw the iPad that they were working on and say that the teacher was so stupid for assigning this and that I'm perfect.

[366] It was basically never Alex's fault, no responsibility.

[367] Alex got extremely, extremely upset because they didn't understand a part of the project.

[368] This was a different situation because Alex and I were actually upstairs in their room instead of on the main floor.

[369] So we were enclosed in a pretty, small room and Alex started to get super upset, started getting verbally aggressive towards me and Alex got so upset at the situation that they ended up throwing the iPad at me and started to destroy everything in their room.

[370] I was extremely desperate to calm Alex down because as I knew now, it was top priority to not interrupt the parents when they were working.

[371] And I was doing everything I could to calm Alex down, which is interesting looking back because essentially I would rather get verbally and physically abused and assaulted than have the parents' work date be interrupted.

[372] That sounds really bad, but it was what I was conditioned to do at the time.

[373] So Alex flies into a rage and lunged at me and started to physically restrain me. Alex has my arms in a grip.

[374] And honestly, up until this point, every physical attack, I was able to defend myself, push Alex off.

[375] But Alex was growing and getting bigger.

[376] And at this point, Alex and I were about the same size.

[377] I remember being so scared because I could not get them off of me. I could not escape from Alex's grip and I started to get very, very scared.

[378] Alex wouldn't let go of my arms and I was screaming at them to let me go.

[379] I was never this scared before, but in this moment, I realized that I wasn't able to bend this person off.

[380] When I managed to break free of Alex's grip, they would advance on me and hit me until they could grab me again.

[381] Before this, I never really felt like I was in real danger because all of the abuse was normalized, but this was the first time that I was extremely afraid.

[382] I was trying to get out of Alex's room and they were physically blocking the door and I kept yelling at Alex to get out of my way and they wouldn't so I pushed my way through the door and got out of the room and I was so scared on the other side of the door because Alex was still trying to physically attack me I had to hold the door shut from the outside and Alex was actively trying to get out and was in an unimaginable rage.

[383] When you looked at Alex's face, it was so terrifying because they had like a blank expression of rage on their face.

[384] I've never seen anything like it.

[385] So I was holding the door shut, and I was so scared that Alex would get out and attack me again.

[386] And I wasn't strong enough to hold the door close, and Alex came out and lunged at me again, trying to hit and restrain me. I made my way to the stairs, and it took me a while to get down the stairs because I was trying not to fall because Alex was grabbing me and punching me and hitting me all the way down the stairs.

[387] I was in extreme danger, and I did need to grab one of the parents.

[388] I finally made my way down the stairs, and Derek, the dad, his office, was at the bottom of the stairs.

[389] I couldn't defend myself from Alex.

[390] They were just actively punching me, hitting me, pushing me, grabbing me. And I burst into the office and I said, Derek, I need your help right now.

[391] I'm Dan Taberski.

[392] In 2011, something strange began to happen at the high school in Leroy, New York.

[393] I was like at my locker and she came up to me and she was like stuttering super bad.

[394] I'm like, stop fucking around.

[395] She's like, I can't.

[396] A mystery illness, bizarre symptoms, and spree.

[397] like doubling and tripling and it's all these girls.

[398] With a diagnosis, the state tried to keep on the down low.

[399] Everybody thought I was holding something back.

[400] Well, you were holding something back.

[401] Intentionally.

[402] Yeah, well, yeah.

[403] No, it's hysteria.

[404] It's all in your head.

[405] It's not physical.

[406] Oh my gosh, you're exaggerating.

[407] Is this the largest mass hysteria since the witches of Salem?

[408] Or is it something else entirely?

[409] Something's wrong here.

[410] Something's not right.

[411] Leroy was the new date line and everyone was trying to solve the murder.

[412] A new limited series.

[413] from Wondery and Pineapple Street Studios, Hysterical.

[414] Follow Hysterical on the Wondry app or wherever you get your podcasts.

[415] You can binge all episodes of Histerical early and ad -free right now by joining Wondry Plus.

[416] Scammers are best known for living the high life until they're forced to trade it all in for handcuffs and an orange jumpsuit once they're finally caught.

[417] I'm Sachi Cole.

[418] And I'm Sarah Hagee.

[419] And we're the host of Scam Fluencers, a weekly podcast from Wondery that takes you along the twas and twists and turns of some of the most infamous scams of all time, the impact on victims and what's left once a facade falls away.

[420] We've covered stories like a Shark Tank certified entrepreneur who left the show with an investment, but soon faced mounting bills, an active lawsuit filed by Larry King, and no real product to push.

[421] He then began to prey on vulnerable women instead, selling the idea of a future together while stealing from them behind their backs.

[422] To the infamous scams of real housewife stars like Teresa Judice, what should have proven to be a major downfall only seemed to solidify her place in the Real Housewives Hall of Fame.

[423] Follow scam influencers on the Wondry app or wherever you get your podcasts.

[424] You can listen to scamfluencers early and ad free right now on Wondry Plus.

[425] He ended up coming out, grabbed Alex.

[426] I ran into the kitchen.

[427] I grabbed Blair and I went outside to get some distance for my safety.

[428] I was shaking and so scared and I immediately burst into tears because that was the scariest thing I had ever experienced in my life.

[429] If it had been anybody else, any other type of relationship, I think I would have seen it for what it was.

[430] However, when your abuser is a minor, it adds a really interesting.

[431] layer.

[432] I didn't know that you could be abused by minors.

[433] I didn't know that you could be abused in your workplace.

[434] So even when they were happening to me, I did not know what was going on.

[435] Cynthia was not home, and this all fell on Derek, which knowing how Derek is as a parent was definitely not his first choice.

[436] Derek never really.

[437] wanted to deal with the kids at all, let alone when there was a negative aspect to dealing with them.

[438] Once Alex calmed down, Derek and I spoke, and Derek was genuinely shocked about what had happened, which was a little confusing to me because by this point, this was happening all of the time.

[439] And what I put together was that Cynthia is not telling Derek about any of these things, because when Cynthia does tell Derek about these things, she gets blamed.

[440] So Derek is confused that this even happened, and I'm just like, okay, well, this is just another day with your kid.

[441] When Cynthia came home, Derek was extremely upset and blamed everything on her and made it seem like Cynthia should have had them under control.

[442] She shouldn't have left.

[443] it was her fault, that his meeting got interrupted.

[444] And in this moment, Derek's behavior was what I see in Alex every day to a T. And while this maybe sounds like a breaking point to some people, I basically just shoved everything down and went back to work because it was just another day.

[445] After I went home that day, I was pretty upset.

[446] I figured that the parents, like they said, would handle it on their own.

[447] I think because Derek witnessed this, Cynthia felt like she did actually have to take action with some sort of punishment.

[448] And so I get this text from Cynthia about how she handled this with Alex.

[449] I hope you are doing okay.

[450] I am so sorry.

[451] I drove Alex around downtown and didn't talk.

[452] Drove around every area with homeless people I could think of.

[453] Didn't talk at all.

[454] Just let it sink in.

[455] We had a slice of pizza and then I'll talk to Alex.

[456] This text is such a good example of the parenting styles and the punishment and also the privilege that just warps its way through this family.

[457] So Alex physically attacked me, physically restrained me, punched me, hit me, grabbed me, verbally assaulted me and Cynthia's idea of a punishment is to drive around in their fancy car and look at homeless people I mean, it's just unreal.

[458] I am dealing with a family that is so detached from real life because of their money and because of their privilege.

[459] And also the highlighting of like, I didn't even bring it up yet.

[460] It's so, So bizarre.

[461] And yes, to your point, Tiffany, she's saying, we didn't talk at all.

[462] Just let it all sink in.

[463] I'm like, okay, well, I actually do need you to talk to your child about physical assault and how it's not okay.

[464] At this point, it was day after day of Alex flies into a rage, sometimes physically assaults me, sometimes doesn't.

[465] I go to the parents.

[466] The parents are like, you should have handled it differently.

[467] Like, after most incidents, Cynthia would sit me down with Alex, force Alex to apologize to me. And every single time Alex apologized, it was, I'm so sorry, Molly.

[468] Do you forgive me?

[469] Every time.

[470] That was the way they apologized.

[471] In my head, I'm like, hell no, absolutely.

[472] I do not forgive you because that apology was fake and you don't mean it.

[473] So no, I do not forgive you.

[474] you.

[475] But for a child to say, do you forgive me to their nanny in front of their mom?

[476] I mean, what am I supposed to say?

[477] It made me feel so uncomfortable, but I'm also not going to get in an argument with a kid that I'm nannying in front of essentially my boss.

[478] I would say, yes, I forgive you.

[479] And this is something that I'm still so, so angry about today.

[480] It bothers me so much.

[481] I'm physically uncomfortable just talking about it.

[482] And honestly, Alex would feed off of the forgiveness.

[483] Like, okay, check, I can get away with that.

[484] No one took any responsibility.

[485] It was just like, forgive them and get over it.

[486] Not only is the physical, verbal, emotional abuse happening to me. It's happening to Blair all the time.

[487] All the time, probably more than me, because I at least get to go home at the end of the day.

[488] And so you have this child, essentially, who is completely unprotected, who also feels a sense of responsibility to keep their sibling calm.

[489] And when Blair could not keep Alex calm, the self -blame, the guilt, and the shame was devastating for Blair.

[490] And that was really hard to see.

[491] And I wish that I could have been there for Blair more.

[492] Blair had no one protecting them at all, completely alone, being terrorized by their sibling, which again is just another layer.

[493] There's so many layers to this.

[494] Toward the end of the summer, the family asked Molly to travel with them on vacation to help watch Alex and Blair.

[495] I have a very hard time remembering any part of the trip.

[496] My therapist says that this is a surviving, coping mechanism because in the moment when a trauma is happening to you sometimes your brain can't process it and so that's why this trip is very fuzzy to me. However, I do have a lot of texts and I do remember bits and pieces so I was able to piece some of the big stuff together.

[497] One thing I do remember is being very disturbed by Derek's behavior the entire trip.

[498] It was interesting because I had never seen Derek with the family this much.

[499] I really got to see a lot of the behaviors that went on with the family dynamic.

[500] Derek was just constantly emotionally abusive towards Cynthia.

[501] Every comment she made, every decision she made, every idea she had was stupid to Derek.

[502] And he would say things like, why would you even say that?

[503] Why would you ever come up with that?

[504] That's such a stupid idea.

[505] And every time he would say that, Cynthia would physically cower and immediately apologize.

[506] Oh, I'm sorry.

[507] I'm so sorry.

[508] The kids were throwing tantrums all the time.

[509] The kids were very difficult to deal with.

[510] Any difficulties with the kids would be immediately Cynthia's fault, according to Derek.

[511] Any trouble with travel plans or any type of behavioral issues was Cynthia's fault.

[512] And she would immediately, immediately apologize.

[513] It was like, oh, you're right.

[514] I'm sorry.

[515] I shouldn't have done this.

[516] And I'm looking at them like, what?

[517] Excuse me?

[518] She did nothing wrong.

[519] She should not be apologizing.

[520] And that's what she was honestly trained to do by him because if she didn't apologize, then Derek would fly into a rage.

[521] Sound familiar?

[522] Reading through my texts during this trip to my partner, I can definitely see that.

[523] I was extremely anxious and stressed the whole time and had zero alone time, which with an extremely toxic family is really draining.

[524] Also, something I noticed about Derek is that he was extremely rude to the staff of the place we were staying.

[525] He was also extremely rude to every single waiter we encountered on the trip.

[526] I personally think that this is a huge red flag as a human being.

[527] He was so entitled.

[528] And if anything went wrong, he would stiff the waiter on the tip or he would throw an adult tantrum.

[529] Also remember that this was during the pandemic.

[530] So workers are already stressed, not to mention when they're dealing with entitled customers.

[531] They were staying in this deluxe room for the first couple nights.

[532] And unfortunately, that room was not available for the duration of the stay, and Derek made a big enough fuss about it that they actually got moved back into their deluxe room, and the family that was in the deluxe room had their stuff moved out of their room without their knowledge, because Derek manipulated the staff into doing that.

[533] I can't believe that that was a real thing.

[534] And, And I can't believe that someone like Derek thinks that it's okay to even make that a possibility.

[535] Also, on the trip, Alex was in their own room and didn't think it was nice enough through a huge tantrum, big enough that parents got Alex their own suite for the night.

[536] Meanwhile, I was sharing a room with Blair.

[537] All this traveling was during the pandemic, and I was absolutely not okay with it.

[538] The way that the family was acting about COVID was that the rules didn't apply to them.

[539] I've talked about how privileged they were, how much money they had.

[540] They really did not care about any of the rules.

[541] I did not want to go on these trips, but it was made clear that if I didn't go, I wouldn't get paid.

[542] And at this time, unfortunately, my partner had been laid off.

[543] And so I didn't really have a lot of options at this point, or at least it didn't feel like it.

[544] So not only am I on vacation stuck with this toxic family, I'm also being essentially forced to travel on a plane during a pandemic, which, quite frankly, I really didn't want to do.

[545] That fall, Alex and Blair went back to school, so Molly was spending less time with the family, which made things more tolerable for her.

[546] Cynthia and Derek were traveling out of town for a wedding, and they asked Molly if she could stay overnight at their house and watch the kids.

[547] I said yes, and I actually asked if my partner could stay over two, and they were like, yeah, sure, of course, which was nice for me because I didn't really like being alone with the kids at all.

[548] And it was nice to have my partner there kind of as a buffer.

[549] It was a Friday and me and my partner pick up the kids from school and we bring them back and everything's going normally.

[550] My partner ended up heading outside with Alex to go play a game of wallball.

[551] They were out there for about like 10 or 15 minutes and my partner then comes bursting through the door, pretty rushed, and I can hear him saying, no, Alex, I'm done playing.

[552] I'm done playing with you.

[553] My partner looked really shaken up, and a few seconds later, Alex came in behind my partner and was in one of their rages.

[554] I could tell this was a bad one because Alex was already verbally assaulting my partner and threatening and getting really, really worked up.

[555] I asked my partner, what happened?

[556] My partner said they were playing wall ball, and for one reason or another, Alex didn't like how the game was going.

[557] So Alex said that my partner had to stand against the wall, and Alex was going to throw the ball as hard as they could at my partner.

[558] My partner was like, no thank you.

[559] And this just sent Alex off.

[560] This was another example of Alex not getting their way.

[561] and throwing a huge tantrum.

[562] I kept telling Alex, no, you can't do that.

[563] If my partner says no, then it has to be a no. And no is a word that Alex really did not like to hear.

[564] The situation started to escalate.

[565] Alex started slamming the door into the wall so hard that it actually made a hole in the wall.

[566] The terrorization begins.

[567] and I'm like, Alex, please stop.

[568] Stop doing that.

[569] You're making a hole in the wall.

[570] This honestly just seemed to fuel the fire.

[571] And Alex started destroying the kitchen, knocking stuff off of the counters, throwing stuff around, throwing papers everywhere, slamming chairs down.

[572] And every attempt to stop Alex almost made it worse.

[573] I was yelling at Alex to stop, moving around room to room, destroying everything, slamming things to the ground, knocking stuff off the counters, went downstairs and destroyed the ping pong table, knocked it over, broke it into pieces, wrecked the entire playroom also.

[574] And when I say wrecked, I mean throwing everything, that Alex could get their hands on.

[575] At this point, I started to get really scared because I knew that it would turn violent towards me. Alex ended up going upstairs, destroying the parents' room, destroying clothes, making a huge mess, and I am just following Alex around at this point, saying, please stop, please stop doing this.

[576] This is out of control.

[577] I need you to stop this.

[578] and honestly, Alex had vacant eyes, and it was really scary to watch because I knew that this was going to end badly and I knew that there was no stopping Alex at this point.

[579] She struck him with her motor vehicle.

[580] She had been under the influence and then she left him there.

[581] In January 2022, local woman Karen Reed was implicated in the mysterious death of her boyfriend, Boston police officer John O 'Keefe.

[582] It was alleged that after an innocent night out for drinking, with friends, Karen and John got into a lover's quarrel en route to the next location.

[583] What happens next?

[584] Depends on who you ask.

[585] Was it a crime of passion?

[586] If you believe the prosecution, it's because the evidence was so compelling.

[587] This was clearly an intentional act.

[588] And his cause of death was blunt force trauma with hypothermia.

[589] Or a corrupt police cover -up.

[590] If you believe the defense theory, however, this was all a cover -up to prevent one of their own from going down.

[591] Everyone had an opinion.

[592] And after the 10 -week trial, the jury could not come to a unanimous decision.

[593] To end in a mistrial, it's just a confirmation of just how complicated this case is.

[594] Law and crime presents the most in -depth analysis to date of the sensational case in Karen.

[595] You can listen to Karen exclusively with Wondry Plus.

[596] Join Wondry Plus in the Wondry app, Apple Podcast, or Spotify.

[597] At this point, this is like 20 minutes into Alex destroying the house.

[598] Also getting very verbally aggressive towards me, towards my partner, towards Blair, saying the meanest things, saying I'm going to be fired, saying you have no idea what I'm going to do.

[599] It was really scary at this point.

[600] Alex ended up coming back to the main floor.

[601] and back into the kitchen.

[602] I was there, my partner was there, and Blair was there, and Alex was still screaming around.

[603] Alex turned around after yelling at us and went straight for the knife block and pulled a knife out of the block.

[604] Up until this point, I was trying to be pretty calm, and I just lost it.

[605] I have never yelled at a child like this in my life, I knew I was an extreme danger.

[606] So I, at the top of my lungs, yelled, what the fuck are you doing?

[607] Put that knife down right now.

[608] And I yelled so loud and so intensely that I think I scared Alex because ended up putting down the knife and left for a different room to destroy.

[609] I looked at my partner and said, you need to take Blair out of this house because it is not safe.

[610] he did not want to leave me and said, okay, I will leave, but I'm taking the knives with me to hide, and I'm taking all of these baseball bats and any other thing that can be used as a weapon.

[611] I wanted Blair to get out of there.

[612] It was also an extreme danger.

[613] I mean, we all were.

[614] It was so terrifying, unhinged, out of control.

[615] After Blair and my partner had left, I went up to find Alex, and I thought at this moment that it would be safer if I had Alex contained to one room so that they couldn't destroy the rest of the house and put anyone else in danger.

[616] So I shut the bedroom door, and it was me and Alex inside, destroying their room to smithereens, wrecking their closet, went over to their bookshelf.

[617] and started throwing the books all around their room.

[618] Alex threw the books so hard at me, around me, hard enough to put multiple holes in the drywall and in the ceiling.

[619] They were big books, and it was so terrifying.

[620] I ended up pulling my phone out and said that I was going to call the parents because I couldn't handle this anymore.

[621] I tried to call, and they didn't answer, of course, And honestly, calling the parents was my last resort because I had been conditioned to believe that I needed to do everything in my power to keep any behavioral issues away from the parents.

[622] And if I didn't, then I was a failure of a nanny.

[623] A part of me didn't want to tell the parents because I knew that it was going to be minimized and I knew that it was going to be blamed on me. But at this point, it was an emergency and I was extremely.

[624] extremely scared for my safety, and I needed help.

[625] I actually considered calling the police multiple times, and I really wish that I would have.

[626] I really do.

[627] I think this situation warranted for that type of help, and so I texted them, which made Alex even angrier because I was telling the parents about what was going on.

[628] This was when Alex physically attacked me. Alex was pushing me and shoving me and trying to get my phone out of my hand and I wouldn't give up on the texting.

[629] When Molly told Alex that she was going to text their parents, they got even more angry and aggressive and shoved her so hard into the door handle that she had a bruise for several days.

[630] That moment was extremely terrifying and extremely shocking.

[631] That's honestly where I started to cry.

[632] I was so scared, and I was trying to text the parents.

[633] And looking back at my texts, the first text that I actually got out to the parents is in gibberish because I was trying to text at the same time, trying to hold Alex's door closed to keep them inside the room and to keep them from attacking me. My texts to the parents say, Well, I actually apologize in this text, which really speaks a lot to the headspace that I was in at the time.

[634] I am being physically assaulted actively in real time, being physically assaulted and verbally berated by Alex.

[635] And I'm apologizing to the parents for texting them.

[636] I say, sorry was trying to fend off Alex.

[637] If one of you is available for a phone call when Alex is calm, that would be great.

[638] Another text.

[639] Hi, I really need a call.

[640] Alex is extremely out of control and wrecking the whole house and has pulled a knife out of the block.

[641] I'm trying to get Alex out of the house to no avail.

[642] I'm so sorry.

[643] I have tried everything.

[644] I didn't get a call back at that moment or a text back.

[645] They were unavailable.

[646] I wasn't strong enough to keep the door closed.

[647] Alex got the door open and started hitting me and punching me and grabbing me. all while yelling the meanest things.

[648] And at this point, I knew I needed to get away from them.

[649] I had had enough.

[650] I grabbed Alex, and with all my strength, I made them come down the stairs with me. I opened the front door.

[651] I shoved Alex outside, and I locked the front door.

[652] This is one of the more difficult moments of my time there because I love working with kids.

[653] I've worked with kids my entire life.

[654] And to have to physically restrain a kid, to have to put my hands on a kid and shove them out of the door and lock it is extremely traumatizing for me. Once I had Alex outside with the door locked, they were trying with all their might to get back.

[655] back in and then they bolted for the back door.

[656] I knew that Alex was trying to run to the garage.

[657] I also ran to the back door and the garage door to make sure they were locked because I didn't want Alex to be able to get in.

[658] The parents finally called me and I told them everything that was going on and I told them that I right now had Alex locked out of the house and they said, okay, great, leave Alex outside until they calm down.

[659] I honestly assumed after telling them what had happened that they would leave their vacation immediately and come home, but instead their response was, well, there's really nothing we can do from here.

[660] Not only am I having to try to safely navigate the situation, I also got zero support from the parents.

[661] they said they were sorry for what was going on and then immediately went into well why didn't you try giving Alex the iPad why didn't you leave the house when this started to go down all these things that I should have done differently yes they said the words do you want us to come home but it was more like well if you really think you need us to come home I guess we can come home if you really think that's necessary I'm like nope it's fine I got this handled but I was alone.

[662] I had nobody.

[663] Eventually, Alex calmed down and Molly let them back into the house.

[664] She called her partner and let them know that they could come home with Blair.

[665] I stuck the kids in front of the TV, made dinner and put them to bed.

[666] This was one of the moments I was really, really glad that my partner was there because I think I would have just shoved it down and forgotten about it.

[667] My partner expressed to me verbally that he was extremely scared.

[668] to spend the night, but he was more scared to leave me alone in that house with them.

[669] When my partner was out of the house with Blair, they went to a park to kill time.

[670] And my partner was talking to Blair about various things and asked Blair if the family had ever considered getting a dog.

[671] And Blair said, well, I would really, really like a dog, but I think if we get a dog, then Alex would end up hurting it.

[672] The parents end up coming home a few days later, and before they came back, I made it very clear that I needed to talk about what had happened.

[673] I said, we need to find time to speak about this.

[674] I didn't want to bother you on your trip, and there's more that I need to say about this.

[675] And the moment they got home, they didn't bring it up at all, and I honestly left as fast as I could.

[676] the next Monday I was back to nannying.

[677] And when I showed up after the incident with the knife, I thought Cynthia was going to bring it up with me right away.

[678] But instead, she was acting like nothing had happened after a couple of hours with her not acknowledging it.

[679] I said, okay, after our activity today, you and I need to sit down and talk about what happened.

[680] We sat down and I told her that I'd really underplayed.

[681] at the time because I didn't want to ruin their trip, but I needed to give her the full picture.

[682] So I told her every last detail how I was extremely scared, how I almost called the police, how I had to get the other kid out of the house because I was scared for everybody's safety that I was shoved so hard into the door that I had a bruise on my back at that time.

[683] And I told her that if I was going to continue at this job, that she needed to get Alex into therapy, while I'm telling her this, I'm crying.

[684] because this was an extremely traumatic experience for me, and it was very upsetting.

[685] Her response to me crying and telling her this was to say that I was extremely emotional.

[686] She was basically in complete denial.

[687] She was extremely unsupportive and even said something to the effect of, wow, you are so emotional, and that's why you're overreacting to this.

[688] After that, I was like, dude, okay, I'm so done.

[689] Everything went back to, quote unquote, normal as if nothing happened.

[690] Alex went completely unchecked, which to Alex meant that they could get away with whatever they wanted.

[691] About a week later, while Molly was watching the kids one evening, she was again scared when Alex flew into a rage.

[692] I was extra sensitive to it because I wasn't getting any support.

[693] I was a shell of a human being.

[694] I was so anxious all the time.

[695] I was so scared all the time.

[696] And one of these nights that Alex rages, my dad ended up calling me when I was crying about it, and I answered and told him everything.

[697] What had happened the week before with the knife, what was happening right now, trying to attack me and yelling at me and destroying the house again.

[698] My dad was extremely concerned.

[699] Up until this point, I had never talked about the bad parts of my nanny job with really anyone in my family.

[700] This coming out of the blue was extremely concerning to my dad.

[701] And he was like, well, you need to call the parents and you need to go home.

[702] This is not safe for you.

[703] And I was like, no, it's fine.

[704] It's fine.

[705] I just, I have to go.

[706] I have to go.

[707] I ended up taking the kids out to dinner that night.

[708] My dad was actually so concerned that he looked up my location.

[709] and find my friends because we share our locations.

[710] He actually ended up coming to the restaurant that we were at.

[711] He was like, look at this situation.

[712] This is not worth any amount of money.

[713] Listen to what you told me had happened.

[714] This is not okay.

[715] And he was like, you need to quit right now.

[716] I was like, no, I can't.

[717] And I ended up promising my dad that I was going to quit the next day.

[718] As it was coming out of my mouth, I knew it was a lie because I felt trapped.

[719] I was conditioned to stay.

[720] I was conditioned to think that I needed them for money.

[721] I was conditioned to think that I owed them something, that they were doing me a favor.

[722] And I didn't feel like I could get out of it.

[723] After another week of bad incidents, the one day I had off from them, they showed up at my house and dropped off flowers in a card.

[724] This was the most extreme love bombing that I have ever received.

[725] I felt so manipulated by this.

[726] I ended up having a huge breakdown that day.

[727] I was uncontrollably crying for hours and I didn't know what to do.

[728] I didn't realize how traumatized I was from the incidents that were happening in the past week.

[729] By this point, I had been emotionally abused, gaslit and manipulated every single day, constantly for like a year.

[730] When I say I was a shell of a human being, I was, I lost a ton of weight.

[731] My hair was falling out.

[732] I was so pale, my eyes were sunken in.

[733] I was not okay.

[734] A few days later, while Molly attended a dinner with her dad and sister, they expressed their concern over her continuing to work in an abusive environment.

[735] It was Molly, look at what's going on.

[736] this is not okay, look at how you are right now.

[737] And it was at this point that I really started to wake up and realize exactly what was happening.

[738] I ended up texting Cynthia saying, hey, I'm really sorry for the late notice, but I'm going to need to take a couple days off.

[739] Because it was so clear that I wasn't okay even to her, which is why she dropped off the flowers.

[740] She says, of course, I hope you're okay, and I will support you however you need, okay?

[741] Okay.

[742] So she literally says, I will support you however you need.

[743] The next week when I'm back at work, I was playing Monopoly with Alex.

[744] Alex flips out for one reason or another.

[745] And Alex ends up bringing up the fact that I took a couple days off the week before.

[746] And Alex says, my parents hate you and they think that you're a job.

[747] joke and you're on thin ice and you might be fired soon because my dad says that it's ridiculous that you, with air quotes, needed a break.

[748] This break that I needed was because this kid physically assaulted me and pulled a knife on me and terrorized me for hours.

[749] But the bigger problem to Derek was that I inconvenienced them by taking a couple days off.

[750] I was seeing things for what they were.

[751] This is not okay.

[752] And if, The bigger problem is that Derek was inconvenienced.

[753] If that's the problem here, then this is not an okay job for me. The last couple weeks of my job, I was very withdrawn.

[754] I didn't want to send Alex into any sort of tantrum going through the motions.

[755] And incidents kept happening and Cynthia would have Alex and I come in and Alex would blame it all on me and call me stupid, constantly threatening to fire me. I was having a really hard time sleeping.

[756] I was having full panic attacks before work, such a sense of dread.

[757] It was awful.

[758] My decision -making at that point, not just with the nanny stuff, with all aspects of my life, really took a decline.

[759] I think it was because I was just really questioning my own reality because I knew that I had gone through this really traumatic experience, but no one was validating me. I was getting validation from my partner, but it was different.

[760] I needed the validation from Cynthia and Derek because I really trusted them.

[761] I kind of figured, oh, if they don't think that anything's wrong, then maybe it is my fault.

[762] Alex's last outburst started with a game of ping pong.

[763] Either I was playing too well or I wasn't playing well enough.

[764] Alex flew into a rage and started destroying the house again.

[765] This was Alex's go -to now because they could essentially destroy the house with absolutely no consequences.

[766] That was tried and true.

[767] From the first day that Alex destroyed the house and pulled the knife up until the day that I quit, Alex started verbally harassing me and destroying the ping pong table, throwing stuff around, and started verbally harassing me and saying, that I was so lucky to have them.

[768] I'm going to be fired.

[769] What would I do without them?

[770] I am so stupid.

[771] Among other really, really rude things.

[772] And honestly, at this point, I was like, I don't need this right now.

[773] I walked upstairs, and it was clear that I was going to grab Cynthia, and Alex followed me upstairs and continued to get within inches of my face and yell really rude things.

[774] Like, you're going to be fired.

[775] and what are you going to do without us?

[776] We pay for your car.

[777] We pay for your house saying I was going to be nothing without them.

[778] Instead of getting Cynthia, I was like, I'm going outside.

[779] It was freezing outside.

[780] So I went to grab my coat and Alex physically blocked me from getting my coat.

[781] And so I was just like, okay, fine, I don't need it.

[782] And I went outside.

[783] I'm standing out in the freezing cold snow and thinking to myself, I would rather stand out here all day without a jacket than go back.

[784] into that house.

[785] And with that realization, I went back inside.

[786] I interrupted one of Cynthia's meetings.

[787] And I said, I need you to come out and talk to me right now.

[788] She finished up her call and she came out.

[789] She said, okay, what's going on?

[790] And I said, the way I am being treated right now is absolutely ridiculous.

[791] And this cannot keep happening.

[792] I cannot work like this.

[793] She was like, okay, well, what happened?

[794] Blah, blah.

[795] And I was like, it's the same thing.

[796] It's the same conversation we always have.

[797] This is not okay.

[798] I do not deserve to be treated like this.

[799] I can't take this.

[800] And she said, okay, well, do you want to take a break?

[801] And I said, no, I'm going home for the day because this is so ridiculous.

[802] This was the first and only time I was ever firm with her.

[803] And she didn't really take it that well.

[804] She said something along the lines of, well, I know why this is happening.

[805] but I don't think I should say it, super rude.

[806] And I said, oh, no, Cynthia, please tell me why you think this is happening.

[807] She said that Alex was acting this way because ever since they went out of town, I had been distant and cold.

[808] How could Alex possibly act any other way if I'm being distant and cold?

[809] When she's referring to them being out of town, what she meant was when her child pulled a knife on me and terrorized me around the house.

[810] That's what she is referring to.

[811] I'm in that moment realizing how fucked up this situation is.

[812] Like, your child literally just verbally and physically attacked me, and you're sitting here blaming it on me. And I just completely shut down and I didn't say anything and I said, okay, and I left.

[813] Once I got home, I knew I had to quit.

[814] I knew this was the day to quit because I was so resolved about it.

[815] I was like, dude, I am so done.

[816] I asked if she could call me that evening.

[817] And all I said when she answered was after the way I was treated today and based on how our follow -up conversation went, I think it's best for me if I no longer work for you.

[818] That's all I said.

[819] And she went on a five -minute rant about how, I know it's hard, but you're doing a great job, but also you're overreacting, but also I support you, but it's a really bad idea to quit.

[820] Are you sure?

[821] I did not say a single word.

[822] She just kept rambling on and not getting a response to me seemed to really irk her.

[823] It ended up getting pretty rude at the end about how I'm making a bad decision.

[824] Honestly, mirroring what Alex had said to me that day, the essence was, you're nothing without us.

[825] And all I said was, okay, and then we hung up, and that was it.

[826] I want to say that it was extremely freeing in that moment.

[827] Like, I'm free.

[828] I did it.

[829] But I knew that I was so traumatized and messed up from the year that I spent with them that it was going to be so long before I felt free of them.

[830] Even now, I think about them all the time.

[831] I'm in therapy right now, I'm working through it, and I'm working really hard, but they're always on my mind.

[832] Even when they're not on my mind, the way that I act in situations, the trauma has weaved its way into my being.

[833] I'm doing my best to deal with that, but it still affects me every single day.

[834] I really wish that I could say that I quit in a blaze of glory and everything was fine, but it wasn't and it's not.

[835] I'm so sorry for everything that you went through.

[836] None of this was okay.

[837] I can't imagine how isolating and scary it must have felt during those incidences.

[838] It's something that you have to navigate living with and that's so unfair.

[839] It is.

[840] It's really unfair and I spent a lot of months being really angry.

[841] I'm definitely in a better place now.

[842] And honestly, Tiffany, this is why sharing my story is so important and the work that you do is so important because I did not know that you could be abused in the workplace.

[843] That's something I did not know even existed, even while it was happening to me. I tell everybody I can now.

[844] I tell everybody this can happen to anybody.

[845] This can happen to anybody anywhere, anytime.

[846] Absolutely.

[847] Thank you so much for your bravery, sharing your story, all the emotional output it takes to participate.

[848] Thank you so, so much.

[849] Thank you, Tiffany.

[850] I really hope this helps somebody.

[851] Can't recommend therapy enough?

[852] If you suspect or know that a child is being abused or neglected, there are ways that you can help.

[853] If you or someone else is in immediate or serious danger, please call 911.

[854] The Child Help National Child Abuse Hotline offers professional crisis counselors who are available to help 24 -7.

[855] Text or call 1 -800 -4 -22 -4 -4 -53.

[856] The hotline offers crisis intervention, information, and referrals to thousands of emergency, social service, and support resources.

[857] All calls are confidential.

[858] For more information, visit their website at Child Health.

[859] Hotline .org.

[860] Thank you so much for listening.

[861] Until next week, stay safe, friends.

[862] Something Was Wrong is an audio Chuck production, created and hosted by Tiffany Reese.

[863] Our theme song was originally composed by Gladrags, covered this season by Kenna and the Kings.

[864] So what do you think, Chuck, do you approve?

[865] If you like Something Was Wrong, you can listen early and ad -free right now by joining Wondery Plus in the Wondery app or on Apple Podcasts.

[866] Prime members can listen ad -free on Amazon Music.

[867] Before you go, tell us about yourself by filling out a short survey at Wondery .com slash survey.