LIVE FROM TORONTO: Lil Rel

[0] I think about how many hits came out of Toronto.

[1] God damn.

[2] And like all right in my wheelhouse, all like late 80s, early 90s too.

[3] And that's much outside that too.

[4] So I tried to incorporate them into the theme song.

[5] We'll see how this goes here.

[6] You used to call me on my cell phone.

[7] Late night when you need my love.

[8] That could only mean one thing.

[9] He's an option.

[10] Baby, baby I thought you'd always be mine I thought should always be mine He's in a chair And I'm here Mind you Of the mess you left When you went away It's not fair To deny me Of the cross I bear That you gave to me He's an armchair Why'd you have to go and make things so complicated Acting like if somebody else gets me frustrated And you fall and you crawl and you break and you take and you text And you turn it into honesty and promise me you're never gonna find you fake it He's an armchair Keep me searching for a heart o 'clock And I'm getting old A modern day warrior mean mean stride, Today's time so you mean mean pride He's an old It's still the one I run to The one that I belong to You're still the one I won for the life You're still the one that I love The only one I dream love You're still the one I kiss Goodnight Goodnight He's an I'm sure I'm spent I even imagine having as much talent Is getting in the car yesterday After a heavy Schwarma meal you ate in Detroit Right?

[11] Big, big play to Schwarma Hopped in the car, thought of that idea And then just executed it Bob Murvack, everybody Thank you, Bob.

[12] On this stage, I will cry in front of you.

[13] I don't know, we came for a comedy show, and then a guy played piano, and then he just cried for about seven minutes.

[14] And I only want to say one more thing before we get going.

[15] I just tonight want you to think about why we even do any of this, and it's because our friends are so wonderful, and it's the reason we carry on.

[16] That's the fun part of being on earth.

[17] My good friend Scotty's here tonight from Michigan.

[18] He came up from Detroit to see me. I've copied everything.

[19] I could from him.

[20] He's the best listener I ever met.

[21] When we met, I only sent messages one way.

[22] I didn't receive any.

[23] I modeled myself after him.

[24] And he is largely to blame for this experiment.

[25] So thank you, Scotty.

[26] I love you and Ramey.

[27] And I hope you're here with somebody tonight that you've learned from and shared things with.

[28] Now, you guys, when I got here from L .A., I opened up my carry -on bag in the hotel room, and there was a fucking woodland creature inside.

[29] and she was wearing overalls and I brought her Monica Padman is here tonight look how big this Olive Garden is it's beautiful red sticks everywhere oh my gosh we feel so lucky to be here and to have all of you here we love you guys so much it's overwhelming I'm overwhelmed he already cried I'm not gonna cry I'm dead inside so I'm not gonna cry shall we begin You cried.

[30] Well, I just want to, before I bring out our guest tonight, he said to me, you're not going to be able to say my name out loud because you're white.

[31] And that's probably true.

[32] Also, you guys, if you listen to the show, you know my checkered pass with the TSA.

[33] And it's a testament to what an actor this guy is, that he was my favorite part of Get Out.

[34] And he was playing one of those TSA, those little vermin, telling you to pull your pants up and down.

[35] Lil Rel Rel Howrie is joining us tonight.

[36] He's here.

[37] He's going to come out from one side or the other.

[38] Oh, look it.

[39] Put your hands together for Lil Rel.

[40] What do you think?

[41] That was cool.

[42] I didn't know you'd be that.

[43] How'd I join your name?

[44] I know as I'm saying.

[45] I don't know he's going to be that honest about it.

[46] Oh, it's going to get even more honest.

[47] It's nothing but honest.

[48] You're going to hear about my pooping ritual.

[49] when I was nine years old before you leave here.

[50] The best part about Rell is he's never heard the show so he doesn't know that he doesn't know he'll be crying in 20 minutes.

[51] Isn't that fun?

[52] It's so fun.

[53] And I'm going to hit you guys with some more honesty.

[54] So about a week ago, I emailed.

[55] I got Rell's email.

[56] Which you still did say, how did you get my email?

[57] Uh -oh.

[58] Uh -oh.

[59] Abort.

[60] I just tried every combination of Lil and Rel.

[61] And I knew what year you were born, 79, and then I just struck gold.

[62] No, it's not.

[63] Is that even in there?

[64] That's not in there.

[65] But I did cold email you, and then you ghosted me. You, see, when you email me, I've never met Dax before.

[66] I know who he is, but I never know.

[67] But you love scrubs.

[68] And you love my movie Garden State, so...

[69] You're sincerely swirling.

[70] I know.

[71] It's not nice that you do.

[72] I mean, an episode of punk with Justin Timberlake was great, you know what I'm sorry.

[73] That was Zach Braff.

[74] Like, white people already all look the same.

[75] It must be real crazy with me and Zach.

[76] It must be a triple layer.

[77] Yeah.

[78] Yeah.

[79] That's so funny.

[80] No. So he did email.

[81] me and but it didn't it was confusing because I got a code name.

[82] He has a code name and I'm like, who the fuck?

[83] Is this real?

[84] Tell him why you know you got the code name.

[85] I got a code name I have to have a code name as I explained to you because I bought my wife presents about eight Christmases ago and when I filled out the form online I put my real name in my email and then I read in the paper eight days before Christmas Dad Shepard buys Kristen Bell rabbit pendant and she knew and I was like well that's what you got it hasn't hasn't arrived yet but Merry Christmas and I thought I got to do something so now I have a code name but that's what made the email confusing because it had both names in it and I didn't know like is this a spam email why is that he has a podcast okay it just this thing real I'm like all right cool I just went about my business I was like all right well It wasn't until other people started hitting me saying, like, yo, you should do...

[86] Then you were like, yeah, maybe that was real.

[87] Maybe this is a really popular podcast.

[88] We have over 100 listeners.

[89] And each listener brought 10 people with them from X, which was so kind of you.

[90] You got in free if you could bring 10 people.

[91] It's like an Amway show.

[92] They're all the bosses.

[93] It's all going to funnel up where and everyone will be a fucking rich by the time this thing concludes.

[94] So, yes, we've never met, which is very, I really appreciate you coming out and doing it.

[95] We've never met.

[96] I may or may not be Zach Braff.

[97] My email is dodgy at best.

[98] And yet here you sit.

[99] And then even more importantly, you just had a show.

[100] Yeah, I just did a show in here tonight.

[101] I'll just be here on.

[102] That's right.

[103] They went bananas.

[104] I don't know if anyone was at that show too, but it was intimidating and I didn't want to follow it.

[105] So hopefully no one is here from that show.

[106] But you really got to earn that money when you.

[107] And you do your thing, like, we're sitting on couches.

[108] Have you thought about maybe doing this?

[109] I've...

[110] To this moment, like, let me say so.

[111] But you got...

[112] This is what, backstage, right?

[113] Imagine sitting backstage.

[114] You're the dresser waiting.

[115] I don't know who, I don't know what's going on with this show.

[116] I'm FaceTiming my kids.

[117] And my kids are like, you know, it's a...

[118] Is it a comedy show?

[119] Because I hear a piano playing.

[120] He's playing really serious music.

[121] You know, what's the laughing?

[122] And I'm like, I don't know.

[123] That guy sounds amazing.

[124] Like, should we not do this?

[125] Just let him perform the rest of the time?

[126] Yeah, honestly.

[127] Because it was a moment literally where I was...

[128] You can't have somebody play a piano song and it has this beautiful melody to it and you sit in a dress room by yourself looking at yourself in the mirror and not reminiscing how far you came in life at like one tear with dumb up.

[129] Good, good, people already cried.

[130] Then you don't have to anymore.

[131] As long as you cried once.

[132] I did.

[133] So you were...

[134] Did you guys all saw Get Out, I assume?

[135] Oh, cool.

[136] And when I saw Get Out, first of all, of course, I love the movie like everyone else, but I was so blown away with you because you pushed it to the absolute breaking point, and yet we're still dead real.

[137] And I was like, this guy is really, really talented, and I hadn't seen you yet, and you're not 22.

[138] And I got very curious about your journey to that point, because you clearly had a ton of practice, and you were excellent.

[139] So it was with pleasure that I got to learn about you today in preparation for this.

[140] Oh, wow.

[141] Okay.

[142] And you were born in Chicago.

[143] Chicago, west side of Chicago, yep.

[144] And is the west side a good side or a bad side or a medium -sized side?

[145] I mean, you know, what's in the greatest neighborhoods, but I have a really dope family.

[146] You do?

[147] We didn't have much, but we were really tough.

[148] tight -knit family.

[149] Both my parents are home, which, I mean, that sounds regular to most people, but, like, in my neighborhood, like, my dad was, like, everybody's dad.

[150] So if you need your bike fist, fix, you came to him, and it was, that was, it was what his neighbor, like, this is real toddler, you know, when you're the only people with both your parents, people, like, other kids check you about, because I used to hate my parents and show up to everything and be there.

[151] And I'm like, man, my dad is here, like, man, you better shut up.

[152] Did you know who your father is?

[153] You'll be quiet.

[154] You're going to hug that man, oh, I'm a little still him.

[155] We're going to steal my dad.

[156] Yeah, did neighborhood kids gather outside your window and point at him?

[157] That's him.

[158] He's not even leaving tonight.

[159] He's going to stay the whole night.

[160] It's funny you say that.

[161] It felt like that stuff.

[162] It felt like people were like surprised to see.

[163] Because it wasn't normal.

[164] I don't know where I lived at.

[165] But isn't that funny that that's just the rule of your parents is they're going to drive you nuts no matter what you have.

[166] I'm friends with a lawyer in Los Angeles who's got a ton of money and a lot of nice cars.

[167] And he had a kid in high school.

[168] and this guy has a Ferrari.

[169] And I said, oh, my God, fucking killed to have been dropped off at high school in the Ferrari.

[170] Like, I would have done unethical things to get dropped off in a Ferrari.

[171] And he was, oh, no, my son makes me drop him off two blocks before school.

[172] He's like, oh, my God, dad, this car's so ostentatious.

[173] Like, ugh.

[174] And I'm like, you just can't win as a dad.

[175] Your dad's magnum fucking PI.

[176] And you want to get dropped off like two blocks away.

[177] next to me in my clunker station wagon getting dropped off.

[178] I guess everyone's getting dropped off two blocks from school.

[179] It's like everybody always embarrassed by parents so about it.

[180] It's not until you become a parent.

[181] You humanized.

[182] As cool as you are, you're in movies, you do stand up, your son's going to be humiliated when you pick him up from a dance.

[183] No, my son, he's humiliated me a couple times.

[184] Oh, yes.

[185] This is such a, I guess we can be talking about this.

[186] So, I mean, you know, my kids go to a, with me, I went to a predominantly black school, but with them they go to a great mixed school.

[187] Well, I mean, when I say mixed, maybe them and white people.

[188] And I don't forget, this is, this is, I took him to a, his sister couldn't come to the birthday party because she didn't feel good.

[189] So it was just me and him, we went to this birthday party.

[190] and I want to give them something to eat and then I hear a group of people clapping like, oh, go, go, go.

[191] And I'm like, oh, somebody's dancing in the circles?

[192] And I go home back over there.

[193] It's my son doing all this shit.

[194] And I like that white people but just to see a group of white people with a circle like, yeah, do it!

[195] Don't dance for them.

[196] What the fuck you do it?

[197] Please somebody else join in.

[198] Raise some other kids in there.

[199] Ugh, that's complicated.

[200] It feels very complicated.

[201] Because I didn't want to overdo it.

[202] Like, man, you should be doing it because you're having fun, but it's like, fuck.

[203] Yeah, you don't want to give him a history lesson.

[204] Yeah, I was having a good time.

[205] I was stressed out.

[206] So this is Sammy Davis, Jr., okay?

[207] Dude, it was, yes.

[208] It felt like that you know what he had to do?

[209] It was the scariest.

[210] It was like, oh, shit, it's happening.

[211] And I was like, apparently, I'm like, God, your son had so many moves.

[212] He wouldn't even have fucking good.

[213] It is funny, though, right, how your kids can embarrass you because it's ridiculous.

[214] But, like, my five -year -old, if she's getting too much attention from adults, she talks, she starts talking baby talk.

[215] And I'm like, oh, my God, stop that.

[216] And I'm so humiliated that my five -year -old's like speaking like, you know, I'm like, I'm a grown, you know, there's no reason I should be.

[217] taking that on.

[218] It's crazy.

[219] It's very stressful as a parent.

[220] It is stressful.

[221] Now, did you have siblings?

[222] Yes.

[223] I got a younger brother who just got married, Matt, and had a middle brother.

[224] My middle brother passed away a few years ago of cancer, but not to make everybody sad, but no, no, that's a par for this course, believe it or not.

[225] But yeah, he's a whole.

[226] When he passed, he was 32.

[227] Oh.

[228] That's not good.

[229] But you know something, but he was one of the strongest people I've ever seen go through anything like that.

[230] Like, he was, like, legit, like, he started, like, doing all the research.

[231] He knew what the doctors was, like, throwing out medicines and stuff.

[232] He knew all, everything, what it was.

[233] And I appreciate that about him.

[234] And, like, honestly, one of my best conversations I've ever had with anybody was me and his last conversation, which was tough because you end up being a person with the information.

[235] So, like, anything as far as his request, that was on.

[236] So imagine me. I'm arguing with this crazy black family about what this man requested.

[237] Sure, sure.

[238] If something happened to her.

[239] He wanted me to have his car in his house and his watch.

[240] Well, I'm the rich brother.

[241] You know, we're like, Yeah, there'll be a team of people around you when you die.

[242] No, he didn't.

[243] That's not what he said.

[244] That's not what he said.

[245] But I thought that was cool, though.

[246] Like, I do all his request when he got sick.

[247] Like, so he was like, yo, he was real, too.

[248] I love you.

[249] Like, dude, fam, if I started looking crazy with my mouth just open, take me off of him.

[250] It was like, all right, that was real.

[251] So I'd better be telling my family that people love to fight to keep people like, look, man, he said if he looked crazy to unplug it, if he get up, it's a miracle, but if he don't, leave it along.

[252] That's what you said to me. Which is what I love by my brother is, is he, like, we would laugh at whatever was going on.

[253] we're finding humor in it.

[254] Just like, even when we did that, I mean, it's such a crazy story.

[255] When we did pull the plug, finally, he passed away, and all of us was crime.

[256] And this is what I knew, this is what I do, either guide and sister humor or my brother talked guide to letting this happen.

[257] And he pulled a plug.

[258] All of us are crying.

[259] We got a head down.

[260] Because you always got family members.

[261] You don't know who's going to do too much.

[262] And my auntie and my cousin, they have this weird mother -daughter relationship where, like, their daughter, and mother, but then they're like, it's like they're roommates.

[263] I don't know how to describe it.

[264] That's the way they talk to each other.

[265] And my cousin Helene started doing way too much.

[266] You know, oh, God, Marcus.

[267] And she started pulling on the curtain.

[268] Like, and she's a big, she was a big girl.

[269] Okay.

[270] And she's just hanging on it.

[271] Oh, boy.

[272] And my auntie, she's been wearing sunglasses all day.

[273] We don't know if she's blind.

[274] We don't know what's going on.

[275] We all quiet.

[276] We just started hitting them to argue.

[277] You know, she's like, how much?

[278] Like, get off that damn curtain.

[279] You're going to break the hospital.

[280] You're going to break the hospital.

[281] You're going to break the hospital.

[282] We know he's going to get your damn hand.

[283] Somebody get up or out of here.

[284] It's like this weird argument.

[285] And me and my other brother, the tears was hurt at first, and it's just us dying laughing.

[286] Yes.

[287] At this weird, get up out of here.

[288] And I was just thinking about my brother, like, yo, he would have been.

[289] And this was a moment.

[290] This was what me and my brothers would share when we just were, like, ignorantly laugh and stuff like that.

[291] It's almost what you'd pray you see as you're going up, that you'd see your family laughing.

[292] Especially that argument.

[293] I can see it like, damn, man. I left just in time.

[294] She's about to break the hospital.

[295] She was second too soon.

[296] And you saw the curtain, and it was just like, oh, damn.

[297] It wasn't like a strong curtain.

[298] You could have just fell out to the floor and cry.

[299] You had to hold the curtain.

[300] It is funny.

[301] though, how deeply you can laugh in those, because I've been the person, too, who's been in charge of pulling the plug, and I sent my brother the most morbid picture you could imagine when my dad was dying, and this poor nurse had to take the photograph.

[302] God bless her.

[303] Deborah, thank you.

[304] You ever catch this podcast?

[305] My dad was sleeping, and it was getting towards the end, and I held a pillow up in front of his face while he was sleeping.

[306] and I had her Debra take a picture and then I texted to my brother and said just tying things up here in Detroit I mean it's so dark but he didn't text me for like five minutes and I was like I went too far like he's not here he'd think it was funny if he was here and then after like five minutes he's like literally couldn't hold my phone to text ha ha ha ha holy shit that's great but that's crazy with siblings like we just share this like humor or whatever that is that you can't even share with nobody else oh yeah especially like when you see people getting in trouble in public for jokes they've made and sure they should probably get in trouble and I just compare that to the jokes I'm making with my brother and I'm like ooh I hope no one might I'm no one puts a microphone in our car ride but But growing up in Chicago, there were three brothers.

[307] Yep.

[308] Now, in my town, whenever there were three brothers, the youngest was nuts.

[309] Was yours like?

[310] Matt is cooler.

[311] It's so weird, because if you think about having three brothers, and we were really competitive, too.

[312] What's the age gap?

[313] Are you guys close?

[314] Man, like just a couple years apart.

[315] Like, it's kind of like baby, two years off, baby, two years off, baby.

[316] Excuse me, and.

[317] So not only was dad.

[318] around, he was horny.

[319] I guess so.

[320] Hey, I don't like...

[321] Let's talk about it.

[322] Yeah, I don't want to do it.

[323] I heard your dad was inordinately horny.

[324] I heard that's where you get your horniness from.

[325] I hate putting it together.

[326] Like, I don't know.

[327] Jesus Christ.

[328] I know it happened, but I don't want to know.

[329] It's just occurring to you, they had sex.

[330] It's just right now.

[331] Damn, this, this is a stork to drive us up.

[332] Well, yeah, we were really, it was insanely good.

[333] Like, we would play, like, the video.

[334] We would play, like, NBA live when it, like, when that first came out, that whole thing.

[335] If somebody won or won a game too much, like, you know it's a chance you might get punched in the face if he was too happy about winning.

[336] Yeah.

[337] Like, what'd you say?

[338] You got to celebrate with some class, or you're going to get your ass beat.

[339] Which is fun.

[340] Like, I like the fact that we were like, my father would come in like, yeah, I'm fighting over the game again and all this other shit, but it's like, yeah, it's good.

[341] Like, I don't punch.

[342] Like, yeah, I know you won.

[343] You better not brag about fucking Hakim Elijah one having 34 points.

[344] Punch for your face.

[345] And what lane were you in in high school?

[346] Oh, well, with me, like...

[347] Were you funny in high school?

[348] I was funny.

[349] My freshman high school was one of, really, like, my favorite year of high school.

[350] And it didn't start out perfect because I went to a private school first before I went to the public school, which was a weird transition because I thought I was cool.

[351] Of course.

[352] I didn't know I was a nerd to orientation.

[353] It seemed to be cool in a private school.

[354] Yeah, everybody was smart.

[355] We, like, picked on people who didn't have the grade.

[356] You know, the right shit.

[357] You go to, like, you know.

[358] school.

[359] It's like totally opposite.

[360] Like I remember the first day and it was like a book I read in like sixth grade.

[361] It was Roll the Thunder here in my cry.

[362] And these dudes never read it before.

[363] Like, dude, y 'all didn't read that?

[364] And there's somebody threw it at the back of my head.

[365] Like, damn, I bet I read books before we came here.

[366] But it was weird.

[367] I was like the nerd at first until basketball trial.

[368] That's what L 'Rail came from was from basketball.

[369] From basketball.

[370] Yeah, that's where I got the nickname from Because my real name is Milton.

[371] Milton.

[372] Milton.

[373] After which Milton?

[374] My dad.

[375] So I'm from a long line of Milton's, which is very weird.

[376] Counterintuitive.

[377] About six Milton straight.

[378] No. I broke the Milton's.

[379] With your kid.

[380] Yeah.

[381] I mean, I ain't have to.

[382] Milton ain't a bad name.

[383] I don't know.

[384] Well, it ain't a great name.

[385] Yeah.

[386] You think like Milton Burl, Milton Bradley, the game company or whatever the fuck, is that even Milton Bradley?

[387] There's no NBA star name Milton anything.

[388] Damn, no. No, no. Okay.

[389] Okay, yeah.

[390] Milton.

[391] Milton.

[392] So how soon you dropped Milton in, what, 10th grade or?

[393] Yeah, no, ninth grade.

[394] So it was basketball tryouts.

[395] I mean, called a nerd the whole time.

[396] They didn't know I was working on my game the whole summer with my cousin Durrell.

[397] That's what Lurrell comes from.

[398] He played varsity.

[399] Oh, okay.

[400] And when, you know, we was trying off a Frost off.

[401] It was like a nerd story.

[402] I took the glasses off and bawled the fuck -out dude.

[403] Took your ponytail out and your glasses off.

[404] You were the hottest girl in school.

[405] I just turned to Teen Wolf.

[406] That's what I did.

[407] Oh my God, she is hot.

[408] I had no idea what those glasses on.

[409] Those boobs are huge.

[410] I always used to just destroy.

[411] I like women with glasses.

[412] Just go to that subject.

[413] Every time I watch the movie, like, oh, she's a nerd.

[414] I'm like, what?

[415] That's my wife, you're talking about it.

[416] She looked gorgeous.

[417] Like, for real.

[418] Like, how do you don't see this?

[419] They often got less attractive when they took their glasses off.

[420] It was, yeah, it's funny that you say that.

[421] They come down the stairs all slow, like, well, please.

[422] Put no damn glasses back home.

[423] Let's read some books.

[424] You can't read a book without those glasses on?

[425] You know how sexy is to see a girl a little paint on her face and glasses and the pony too?

[426] Like, ugh.

[427] Yeah.

[428] Yeah.

[429] You also go like, well, I might have a shot with her.

[430] She blows the hair out, and you're like, no way, she's talking to me. She's not talking to me. She's not talking to me. She's calling my head down.

[431] That's so funny.

[432] So you were an athlete.

[433] Oh, yeah.

[434] So I was a very great athlete.

[435] No. So I ended up having a, I like did really well at tryouts.

[436] One of the seniors on the team, a varsity play, he was a captain.

[437] He's like, yo, who is dead?

[438] He's like, yo, that's Derell cousin.

[439] Oh, what up, L 'Orell?

[440] I'm like, no, my name Milton.

[441] No, it ain't Larell.

[442] This is a little off topic, but have you ever met anyone that you know gave themselves the nickname?

[443] That's interesting.

[444] I don't know.

[445] This was my example.

[446] I was somewhere in this dude was like, So, brother, Blaze.

[447] And I go, no. He goes, what?

[448] I'm not fucking calling you Blaze.

[449] You gave yourself that name Blaze.

[450] I'm not playing a part of this.

[451] This fantasy where you go by Blaze.

[452] How did you know?

[453] No, though.

[454] Did he tell you he gave it to himself?

[455] No, he just assumed.

[456] Come on.

[457] I mean.

[458] Don't it say like wrestlers?

[459] They give their names to themselves, right?

[460] Presumably.

[461] Who knows maybe Vince McMahon does?

[462] Like, maybe there's a day in your career where you go into his office and you're like, you wore flames on your shirt, you're going for Blaze.

[463] And he goes, you're the rock.

[464] All right.

[465] Like Hacksaw Jim Duggan, there's no way.

[466] You remember him?

[467] That's actually really creative.

[468] I know.

[469] I've met Haxile Jim Duggan.

[470] No, you haven't.

[471] So I had a show on True TV called Friends of the People.

[472] Okay.

[473] There was a sketch series that, you know, it was all for two seasons.

[474] A lot of people didn't see it.

[475] No, they're going to clap at the very end.

[476] I tell them to hold their applause to the very end.

[477] But, uh, it's a good show.

[478] They love that show.

[479] Big fans.

[480] That feels so much worse now.

[481] So we had Haxaw, Jim Duggan, Do a sketch.

[482] Come on.

[483] Swear to God.

[484] We did this police brutality sketch.

[485] Oh, he's perfect.

[486] Well, I played like an hour -sharp type of character, and I was trying to help the police.

[487] Just stop the brutality.

[488] Like, maybe they need help.

[489] So as a police officer was doing wrong, we hired wrestlers to, like, fight the police officers.

[490] It didn't make any sense, guys.

[491] So Hacksaw Jim Duggan.

[492] And we actually got a weird amount of wrestlers to do our show.

[493] We had Routy, Roddy Piper.

[494] Oh, sure.

[495] He's a blast.

[496] Very funny.

[497] He was funny.

[498] We had Jake the Snake Robb is actually, like, slam me. Oh, really?

[499] Yeah.

[500] That's like a childhood dream to be slammed by Jake's name.

[501] It was crazy.

[502] And he was mumbling the whole time, like, as he was like on top.

[503] Like, I'm like, whoa.

[504] He was in snake mode.

[505] He was still, like, but he's like old now.

[506] I didn't.

[507] He's wrestling moves in so long, man. So, like, him slamming me. Did you feel a little bad?

[508] I felt, I felt weird.

[509] Because he was still on top of me. You know, we're shooting this, so we needed the shot.

[510] I didn't do this.

[511] April 15th approaching.

[512] I haven't done my taxes.

[513] I hope they had asked for the snake because it's dead.

[514] My kid didn't want to get dropped off in my Jeep.

[515] Working through some parenting stuff while he's on top of you.

[516] Does your family call you, Lilrell, or did the Milton?

[517] No, they don't...

[518] Did you say the Milton?

[519] That's another great nickname.

[520] The Milton.

[521] Please rise for the Milton.

[522] No, everybody, well, I had a nickname of my family.

[523] My nickname in my family was Terry.

[524] So I always had a nickname.

[525] I've been having nicknames just forever.

[526] You're fucked when you're walking down the street because, like, 12 or 13 names someone could yell.

[527] But you know who tried to use Milton now, which annoys me is like like women I date and they try to sit like they're being personal.

[528] Milton.

[529] Come on, fam.

[530] Like they want to really know you.

[531] Yeah.

[532] I text you at 2 p .m. Milton and you did not respond to 4 p. Yeah, yeah, yep, yep.

[533] Do you want to tell me where you were between 2 and 4 Milton?

[534] First of all, it's real, lady.

[535] I'll even go out for a few weeks.

[536] You can't call me Milton yet.

[537] Wondry Plus subscribers can listen to armchair expert early and ad free right now.

[538] Join Wondry Plus in the Wondry app or on Apple Podcasts.

[539] Or you can listen for free wherever you get your podcasts.

[540] So you're in Chicago and at what age do you decide I'm getting into comedy?

[541] You're in a perfect city for that.

[542] Oh man, Chicago's a great city for that.

[543] I knew I wanted to do it early.

[544] I didn't start until I was about 18, 19.

[545] Mm -hmm.

[546] And did you start with stand -up or sketch?

[547] Straight stand -up.

[548] Yeah, I did stand -up.

[549] And then I did some second.

[550] city.

[551] I took some classes.

[552] Did you want to do classes?

[553] Yeah, it's cool.

[554] It's just, you know, I don't know.

[555] Because I never took an acting classes neither.

[556] It just seemed like some of these teachers that teach you how to do something I think you can maybe do naturally, sometimes overdo it.

[557] Like, when I go to my friends, like, acting showcases, and then you see that crazy teacher who's an actor also, but now he's teaching it, but then he ain't really booking nothing.

[558] So it's just, like, kind of weird.

[559] He's just telling people what to do.

[560] He's like going through their lives trying to make them work.

[561] cry.

[562] And he tells some crazy story about himself.

[563] He was just sitting out comfortable, like, whoa.

[564] You just described this podcast.

[565] Like, you couldn't have summed it up better in a shorter, more concise.

[566] It's a crazy acting coach.

[567] Yeah.

[568] Acting teachers are maniacs.

[569] Dude, I mean, one day, he was just like, he like made my friend cry with stuff.

[570] I didn't even know about her life.

[571] I'm like, dude, this is a showcase.

[572] Whatever you all do in that classroom, that's a different thing.

[573] But like, like, you remember your father came upstairs.

[574] I'm like, whoa, whoa, whoa!

[575] Whoa!

[576] Knock, knock, knock, John.

[577] Daddy's at the door.

[578] Bring that emotion.

[579] I'm like, whoa.

[580] Action.

[581] It's just a hospital seat getting candy in the machine.

[582] But you're doing stand -up for quite a long time.

[583] Yes.

[584] Before you get on last comic standing.

[585] No. No, yes.

[586] God damn it.

[587] Milton.

[588] Fucking Milton.

[589] When I say, What you did in your career I'm gonna tell you When I did last time I'm extended I was only doing it I was a few years The first time I did it I was a few years Because I did it twice Oh Yeah I'm aware of the 2007 Yeah so I did it Before that actually Really?

[590] Did you have to act Like a different person The second time?

[591] No I was funnier Funnier version of yourself I was a lot younger The first time I did it Okay And then more new Into comedy And then by the time I'd did it again, I was a little more polished, which is why I was able to go to the semis, and I still lost, you know, but...

[592] But you're 28 when that happens?

[593] Quick, man, 79, 2008, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[594] Yeah, 79, 2007.

[595] Love's doing math, just ignore it.

[596] Yeah, we did it.

[597] 28, you've been doing it for 10 years.

[598] Yeah.

[599] And are you working on the road enough that you're like, you're making a living?

[600] I guess what I'm wondering is are you panicked at any point?

[601] Is there any point where you're like, oh, shit, maybe I need to go in another direction?

[602] No, like, the good thing about starting to like 18 and 19, I had no responsibility yet.

[603] By the time that last conversation happened, I, like, just got married.

[604] I've already done a couple of...

[605] You got married at 18?

[606] 28.

[607] Oh.

[608] You just did it in the bag.

[609] Oh, my God, Max.

[610] Okay, wait.

[611] So you got married in 2007.

[612] You were born in 79.

[613] You know what you got married at 28?

[614] So I got married at 2.

[615] God.

[616] I don't know what the 2nd?

[617] We're going to end up holding hands the rest of the evening.

[618] I would love it.

[619] Like nothing more.

[620] Let's build to that, though.

[621] Because as long as we hold hands, we'll never go back to this.

[622] It's like kissing and fucking.

[623] It'll never be fun again.

[624] Let's stretch this out as long as we can.

[625] I'd like to hold hands with you like December.

[626] This is so, because it is, I mean, okay.

[627] What makes this interest in this, because I think, I mean, most roncoms, which I'm a fan of, this is how I sit at my couch watching Roncons.

[628] That's why I'm so comfortable.

[629] Okay, good.

[630] But it's always like this thing where, like, they do the little things first.

[631] Like, I mean, that's what makes shape of water.

[632] Like, what we're doing is shape of waterish, right?

[633] Like, what it's like, oh, you're a fish.

[634] Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, fingers.

[635] Okay.

[636] It's scary.

[637] I'm deaf.

[638] Leave me along.

[639] Yeah.

[640] You come back, and then this.

[641] another move.

[642] Oh, hands.

[643] We both have hands.

[644] Oh, okay.

[645] You're a fish, but you have hands.

[646] Well, yeah, fish.

[647] What was it, shape of water?

[648] Shape of water, man. Yeah, it answered the question, like, what if E .T. was a romantic comedy?

[649] Or rather, a love story.

[650] It is one of the craziest movies I've ever seen in my name.

[651] But I wanted them, it's a testament to what a good movie is, because I wanted them to hook up.

[652] You did?

[653] A lot.

[654] It was weird.

[655] The thing about it, because look, if you show...

[656] Look, guys, I'm not trying to be graphic about this, but I watched this movie.

[657] This is when we lost the Oscar, too, so I had to analyze this.

[658] Oh, sure.

[659] Yeah, you have a different lens.

[660] Yeah, I was like, okay, all right.

[661] Maybe I missed something.

[662] And it's like, okay, the fish is, you know, they end up shmidi -dobo and doing what they do.

[663] Yeah.

[664] And they showed a front of the fish, but there's no, it ain't no, like, what the f***?

[665] I was consumed with that, too, sincerely.

[666] I was so nervous.

[667] Like, how was he going?

[668] going to enter her.

[669] Does he have a penis hidden under a gill I don't know about?

[670] She seems to like him so much.

[671] I bought the DVD.

[672] I was hoping to see...

[673] Oh, like, smart.

[674] Something like, aye, aye, come on.

[675] What's the backstory of...

[676] Oh, I think I saw it.

[677] Maybe there was a whole DVD extra on it.

[678] It's just like the real moments.

[679] It's like a little weird porn hub.

[680] Yeah.

[681] A real niche.

[682] Real niche group people searching for that.

[683] that.

[684] Yeah.

[685] Yeah.

[686] But when you get to, when you get last comic standing the second time, and that's kind of a breakouty moment for you, yeah?

[687] Oh, you're so difficult.

[688] Let me rephrase that.

[689] It was terrible.

[690] No, no, it wasn't that.

[691] It was a great moment.

[692] I think you just do, you just have a bunch of moments.

[693] At that time, I was taping like, that and I did, like, bad boys a comedy than it is a comedy central stuff.

[694] It was just a bunch of stuff all at the same time.

[695] Okay, okay.

[696] Yeah.

[697] So you were getting encouraged.

[698] But anything before 28 years old?

[699] I guess what I'm saying is I, too, didn't earn a paycheck until I was 28, and I'd been at it for almost 10 years.

[700] Yeah, I started making money way before that.

[701] Just comes.

[702] No, I'm just saying.

[703] Not to be like that.

[704] I did.

[705] I'm sorry.

[706] I'll let you.

[707] Why don't you do the interview then, I guess?

[708] I'm just saying.

[709] You're probably much better at it than me. You try to get us to relate, but.

[710] My situation is what I suffer from.

[711] I treated comedy like selling drugs in a way.

[712] Oh, okay.

[713] Everybody else's a crazy analogy, but...

[714] Like, first hits free?

[715] No, first hits free.

[716] I just hustled my own thing.

[717] I just had my own room.

[718] I made sure I was my own promoter, and I started doing that really, really early.

[719] So I'm just saying, like, I knew how to make money.

[720] And I didn't have...

[721] Like I said, I had kids and nothing yet, so, like, I live with two other comedians and shit.

[722] We, like, will buy a pan of wings and be good for two, three days.

[723] Uh -huh.

[724] You know what I mean?

[725] You just found somebody else to live that hustle with, and then literally, once you do one TV credit, it was just comic view.

[726] Everybody don't watch BET Comic View, but that was enough to at least start getting more money around the country or whatever.

[727] No, I was doing fine.

[728] I was doing pretty, like, I felt bad for my L .A. friends and moved to L .A. and they didn't have anything.

[729] Yeah.

[730] And I was flying here.

[731] I'm like, well, take care of you.

[732] I'm going back to Chicago.

[733] Good luck.

[734] But, no, I started.

[735] I knew I needed to have.

[736] Red Lobster tonight.

[737] What are you doing?

[738] I don't know.

[739] Maybe.

[740] I'm about to do Red Lobster no more.

[741] Come on, brother.

[742] I'm actually lying.

[743] I don't know why I try to impress him.

[744] I love real lobster.

[745] I sincerely would not like you if you didn't like Red Lobster.

[746] People try to get you to graduate from them.

[747] Do you all have it in Canada?

[748] Is it a Red Lobster here?

[749] It's the Olive Garden of Seafood.

[750] It really is.

[751] I mean, they got the smallest crab legs.

[752] I don't know where Red Lobster is.

[753] Yes.

[754] Tiny crab legs, that pisses me off.

[755] Primi crab legs, but they make up for it in the butter.

[756] They give you a lot of butter.

[757] Man, you get so much butter.

[758] And it's just a vehicle for the butter.

[759] I dip everything in red lobster butter.

[760] Absolutely.

[761] The napkin, whatever.

[762] I clean up my face at the end.

[763] That's real?

[764] Yeah, I do not dislike red lobster.

[765] So, you're kind of, is, you do a reboot of In Living Color.

[766] Yes.

[767] That was a big break.

[768] That was the big break.

[769] To me, for Hollywood.

[770] Hollywood didn't know who I was like that.

[771] And it's something about Ken and Iry Wains if he give you that stamp.

[772] Because it never even aired, but I still...

[773] Oh, did it?

[774] It never aired.

[775] Were you scared?

[776] Because I loved in Living Color.

[777] So many people came out of there.

[778] It's bonkers, you know.

[779] I wrote a show called Name Your Adventure on NBC.

[780] He used to come on after, like, Save By the Bell and all that stuff.

[781] stuff.

[782] And I wrote them because I wanted my adventure to do a living color.

[783] And I was 13.

[784] And then they sent me a letter about, sorry.

[785] Unfortunately, we canceled the show.

[786] I was like, God, damn.

[787] They wrote me back and said, we're sorry we can let your adventure come true, but the show has been canceled.

[788] Oh, my God.

[789] I'm like, damn, that's how TV works.

[790] I'm watching it now.

[791] I'm like, no, it's done.

[792] But did you have any reservation about, I guess you didn't because you had their approval?

[793] But you weren't a little bit like, oh, is this a good idea?

[794] And it was a dream come true.

[795] Like, I always, I didn't know they'll ever bring this show back.

[796] Yeah.

[797] So when it came, and it's a really cool story, even how I got it.

[798] It was, wasn't normal.

[799] They was auditioning people all over the country.

[800] In Chicago, it was crazy because a lot of people wouldn't tell me anything.

[801] I was like it was a secret.

[802] Don't tell real.

[803] Don't tell real about the auditioning.

[804] It was one of the cool comics, Calvin Evans.

[805] I always say his name, Young Comic, who I've looked out for other things, but I can't wait to do more for him.

[806] He called me. like, yo, they are auditioning.

[807] Nobody didn't really want to tell you.

[808] I'm like, damn, for real.

[809] It's a weird compliment in a way.

[810] They didn't want to compete with you.

[811] Yeah, so I ended up doing it.

[812] That didn't really do anything.

[813] It wasn't until they was looking at somebody else's YouTube clip.

[814] Keenan Irwain and Irwange and Sean Agar was one of the producers.

[815] And you know how YouTube just suggests another clip?

[816] Oh, sure.

[817] It was something I'd even post.

[818] It was some other random person that recorded a set that I was kind of mad about, like, man, you can't put my set on YouTube.

[819] I didn't get permission?

[820] And that's the one that they end up seeing at some random bar of me doing stand -up.

[821] They ended up watching more clips, found a way to get in touch with me, called my manager at the time.

[822] I was having a terrible day.

[823] That was the day I was driving my car and I'm at the gas station.

[824] That's why short people shouldn't drive, like, trucks.

[825] Like, you know what I mean?

[826] Just get you short people, man. Could they be bagging up and they don't be knowing?

[827] And she bagged up and kept going.

[828] I'm like yelling.

[829] I'm honking and bent up my, you know, Your bumper.

[830] No, not the bumper.

[831] You know, the part that closes your door?

[832] No, no, not the trunk that they're from.

[833] The hood.

[834] The hood.

[835] The hood.

[836] The bonnet.

[837] I think they say bonnet in Canada.

[838] So she bit up the hood.

[839] What if you said hood, nothing?

[840] Then you said bonnet and they went ape shit.

[841] Dang.

[842] That was crazy.

[843] They did that.

[844] I'm like, yeah, the bonnet.

[845] So the hood was all bit up.

[846] I called my manager trying to find, because he knows some dudes and fixed cars.

[847] I'm like, yo, you find somebody to bend my hood back down.

[848] I was on my way to church, so never mind, I'm going to go home.

[849] And then he calls me back, and I'm thinking like, so you found somebody.

[850] He's like, hey, no, I just got a call from some people in living color.

[851] They want you to come to New York.

[852] I'm like, what?

[853] How?

[854] I ain't, what?

[855] He's like, yeah, they saw YouTube videos, and Ken didn't want to see you in person.

[856] And I was like, all right.

[857] And I went to New York, and it's funny, because I went to showcase in the New York Club, and all the New York comics that was on the showcase, had family and friends there with nobody but just my manager.

[858] And I'm, like, going hard on stage.

[859] You could tell people trying not to laugh, because they didn't support somebody else.

[860] But I just went hard, and, you know, I end up getting control of the crowd or whatever.

[861] And I get off stage, I'm just sweat.

[862] It's one of my, like, those sets where you just put everything in it.

[863] What's that like?

[864] I mean, you sweat a lot.

[865] It's very sweaty.

[866] I feel like, I feel like two different people.

[867] But I give it 100 % it's over in five seconds.

[868] No, it's sweat.

[869] Okay.

[870] It's so much sweat.

[871] It was a lot of sweat.

[872] It's anxiety.

[873] I'm just saying with sex, just let's digress for one second.

[874] If you really act like you want to right out of the gates, aren't you done?

[875] Like I got to find a rhythm that I don't even enjoy just so I can be in there for a while.

[876] If I just do it exactly how I want in the position I want right out of the gates, It's going to be a short ride.

[877] It's going to be like the Superman of Six Flags, which is very exciting, but it's 60 seconds.

[878] Up and down.

[879] Not for you.

[880] Never mind.

[881] You have stain power?

[882] Cool, cool, cool, cool.

[883] I can't relate.

[884] Cool.

[885] Kristen is so lucky.

[886] Again, though, I got a method.

[887] I just got to do something I don't really enjoy.

[888] Sure, sure.

[889] And I can throw down a good four and a half minutes.

[890] Here we go, y 'all.

[891] Oh.

[892] You know, it sucks when you're younger, but as you're older, like, no woman wants to have sex for more in three minutes.

[893] They're like, thank you.

[894] Thanks for getting that over with.

[895] I go back to doing the thing I want to do.

[896] But you know, you do it in sections.

[897] You really do it in sections, man. Like, it's like, you can't do it.

[898] Oh, you break it up?

[899] You break it up.

[900] Like, you know what I'm going to like, even if you're out here, you're going like, I'm going 30 minutes.

[901] You're like, you're crazy.

[902] There's something wrong with you.

[903] You get a lot to get off your chest.

[904] You might kill somebody.

[905] Yeah, that's serious killers, though.

[906] You're like a maniac.

[907] Yeah.

[908] Like Bateman and American Psycho, looking at yourself in the mirror and stuff.

[909] Although I bet if I looked at myself in the mirror, I'd last so long.

[910] You know you have good self -esteem if, like, watching yourself in the mirror gets you off.

[911] So I'd be like, oh, my ass.

[912] You never done that before?

[913] What's that?

[914] You never saw yourself in a mirror.

[915] Oh, I have.

[916] And I don't, that's why I don't repeat it.

[917] Now, that's a mirror is, yeah.

[918] So the Living Color reboot doesn't air.

[919] Yeah.

[920] But you end up on the Carmichael show.

[921] Is that related in any way?

[922] No, so A Living Color didn't air, and then that's where Friends of the People happened.

[923] Two of the cast members that were cast on a Living Color, Jermaine Fowler, and Jennifer Bartels, we decided just to do our own sketch series.

[924] and we made that decision at the Montreal at the Just for Last Montreal Festival and we was all there this when we found out they were going to show the episode it was like damn okay that was crazy and I'm like we should do our own damn show and I was like kind of drunk standing there I'm in Hollywood for five minutes yeah I need my own show bullshit and uh but no it happened like that my manager now Avi Gilbert set up a bunch of meetings in New York I was able to fly there a week after I talked all this shit and we pitched it and the first time we pitched the Comedy Central bought it in the room of a pilot.

[925] So honestly since then, since the Living Color I've been on some type of series working.

[926] Yeah, working.

[927] I haven't stopped working since then.

[928] Now, how does, do you know Jordan P .L. before, get out.

[929] Yeah, so once again, it's something about the just last festival was like a camp for comics or something where we all meet that people that never met before and you're able to talk to So the first time I met, Jordan, was at the fun of the die party.

[930] Here.

[931] And we were just talking shit to each other.

[932] Like, yeah, man, fuck this.

[933] We got to get this fucking money.

[934] It was just weird as fuck.

[935] And that was the first time we met.

[936] But when we started talking about Get Out wasn't until we met again at another Ching Dig.

[937] And he was like, yeah, I wrote a horror film.

[938] I was like, oh, okay, good for you, brother.

[939] You know what I mean?

[940] Cool.

[941] Yeah, cool.

[942] Keen Pee and Bill, horror films.

[943] But he started describing the movie, and I'm like, oh, damn, you really are you're really a real fan.

[944] You really orchestrated some shit.

[945] And he's like, well, you don't want to make sure to get you a break, make sure we bring you in an audition and whatever.

[946] And I was like, I would love that.

[947] And I remember when I looked at the script, it just looked like how I talk.

[948] I'm like, you know, if I don't book this shit, I am a terrible actor.

[949] Sure.

[950] This look exact like the words.

[951] Everything was like, This is, this sound like me. And, I mean, come to find out, too.

[952] I think it really quick.

[953] Isn't that funny because that movie's the biggest thing in your career, I have to imagine?

[954] Yeah, but we didn't know, though.

[955] Well, of course not.

[956] No, I don't think.

[957] Sometimes you know, right?

[958] If you do a Marvel movie, you're like, oh, well, I'm in Black Panther, yeah.

[959] Guess what, I'm going.

[960] Yeah.

[961] Yeah, you buy a boat before you even film it.

[962] Oh, I booked that.

[963] Yeah, I should buy a boat.

[964] I'm in an ex -man movie?

[965] I always wanted a boat.

[966] Yeah, you're good.

[967] This movie, we wasn't sure.

[968] I would say this.

[969] I wasn't sure exactly what was going to happen.

[970] I knew when I booked it, because when I booked it, I did one last three with Jordan.

[971] I was waiting on my Uber.

[972] He came outside, and he told me, he wasn't supposed to tell me. He's like, look, man, I ain't supposed to tell you this, but this is yours.

[973] It was filled people in there waiting on audition.

[974] I'm like, damn, all right.

[975] But I remember just walking for blocks after he told me that, just so happy.

[976] And I didn't know why.

[977] because I didn't know what this was going to be, but something felt real good about it.

[978] I honestly didn't know.

[979] Also, nearly all of your scenes were comedic.

[980] Yeah.

[981] So when you were shooting, you were in a bubble of, you could just assume the whole movie is as funny as the shit you're shooting.

[982] Well, you know what's funny?

[983] This is what I love about that role.

[984] You know, sometimes it's comedians.

[985] I mean, you know, a lot of times you get the silliest movie.

[986] Like, this one was, I was able to be, like, real and funny at the same.

[987] was like the humor is just in the real of it.

[988] Yes.

[989] You know what I think you're so great at in that movie.

[990] At no point, again you're out there.

[991] You're playing a fucking goofy TSA agent.

[992] It could have been like a Jim Carrey thing.

[993] And yet, I never looked at it as goofy, but if you want to describe it that way, cool.

[994] You looked at it as a goofy TSA.

[995] So the outfit was hot?

[996] It was a regular.

[997] So you must read out like TSA.

[998] It's the regular uniform.

[999] I have a past with them, but you don't need to get into that.

[1000] But it could have been really pulling up the pants crazy.

[1001] It could have been, you know, there was a lot of low -hanging fruit for you to take that you didn't take.

[1002] And I recognized it and I appreciated it.

[1003] And at all times, I was like, I really kind of believe this is, I could meet this dude at the TSA.

[1004] Well, that's what was cool about it.

[1005] Like it was a cool role where you saw funny and then we knew how to do funny and dramatic.

[1006] Like when me and Allison has that, when I had to call, like, she started making up shit.

[1007] I'm like, this motherfucker line.

[1008] Like, you know what I mean?

[1009] It's just like, it was a cool, perfect drama.

[1010] Yes.

[1011] Romedy thing that just made sense.

[1012] And I love Jordan for the ending when he changed it because he let me get a chance to kind of just and wasn't, he didn't feed me lines for that.

[1013] He just gave me situations and just like I would, real, just do whatever you do.

[1014] Right.

[1015] I told you not to go to the house.

[1016] It was like, one of those, like, natural things.

[1017] What would you say to somebody?

[1018] And you've been telling them shit the whole time.

[1019] I was like, I mean, I know you went through some bullshit, but.

[1020] I told you not to go to house.

[1021] It's just such a funny way to just.

[1022] Yeah.

[1023] Yeah.

[1024] And so, it's really fun, isn't it, when you get to, like, have your fingerprint a little bit on something like that's...

[1025] Something special, like that's...

[1026] I don't know how many times you get a chance to do...

[1027] Look, everything else out of this to me. Well, I hate to break this to you, like, that was it.

[1028] If you're crazy lucky, you were in that once in your lifetime.

[1029] Like, it's so special and it's so amazing.

[1030] But to know that you had like a little bit of your flavor in there and to go see it and see that play within this context of something that's already brilliant, isn't that a special kind of high?

[1031] Well, get out, I still kind of pinching myself with that because it would have been a movie I loved if I wasn't in it.

[1032] Right.

[1033] You know what I mean?

[1034] So like watching it and like, yo, Every once in a while, because I know other things have happened since then, but when I go back to that, you know, maybe when I'm alone and just chilling, and I'm just like, yo, that's crazy that I was such an important part of this cool film.

[1035] And I didn't know, we really didn't know that it was going to be this, this, when we walked, I remember the premiere and I walked out, and people like ambush me. I was like, what the fuck is about to happen?

[1036] Like, you know what I mean?

[1037] Like, shit for it to be different now.

[1038] But in a good way.

[1039] But it was really one of the coolest moments.

[1040] I don't know what I mean?

[1041] Like I said, I have friends that's done a bunch of movies and stuff like that.

[1042] But I'm like, I don't know how many times you get a chance to, like, so far the movies I've done, I've done stuff that as a movie lover, things are all.

[1043] Like, that's why even with Uncle Drew, like, to like be able to like, you know, spoiler alert, take a game win a shot in a movie.

[1044] I mean, you know.

[1045] Yeah.

[1046] It's just something dope about that.

[1047] It's just something dope about just...

[1048] I've been picking random shit.

[1049] Like, there's some more stuff coming out that I've always wanted to do.

[1050] And I've been really lucky that the people believe in me to let me do the, like, the dream job stuff.

[1051] Yes.

[1052] And is it across your mind, like, ooh, thank God that happened when I was 38.

[1053] Yes.

[1054] And not 24.

[1055] Man, I was just telling somebody that yesterday.

[1056] I really, I'm thankful for that, because I, 25 you old me would get out doing all that.

[1057] I would have, man. I'd be coked out somewhere, like all types of shit.

[1058] I'm like grown as fuck, so I'm doing everything grown.

[1059] Like, well, take the kids to Dizzyland and see how they go.

[1060] You know what I mean?

[1061] Like, nothing too crazy.

[1062] It's like you're excited about the work part of it and you don't get caught up in the hype of it.

[1063] And I'm not a big believer in God or anything.

[1064] You said you used to seem to be.

[1065] You said, church, I heard it.

[1066] Yeah.

[1067] But some stuff will get suspicious to me at times where I'm like, oh, right, I wasn't allowed to have that until I was ready to have that.

[1068] It's a little suspicious sometimes I'll...

[1069] Yeah, no, I mean, it's suspicious.

[1070] I mean, look, everybody believes in whatever I want to believe in.

[1071] I do believe it is...

[1072] I do believe in purpose more than anything.

[1073] I think just some things is just lined up, which is why I try not to force anything.

[1074] I let, you know, I let everything work itself out like it should.

[1075] I don't try to like...

[1076] Yeah, I'm a...

[1077] Because I see people, like, you've seen people just for...

[1078] They just, I'm a force and I'm, oh, like, I see people that overly work for no, like, just people that got to make themselves be busy and, or either they pick a whole bunch of things to do, like, whichever one pop.

[1079] I'm like, what me is always, like, stand -up comedy was my focus, and from there, and this is why I was in high school, once again, this is on me, because I, you know, I believe it God, but I remember just having a conversation with God, I did a play my senior in high school, and I was sitting in the auditorium, and when I did this, I went to a ghetto high school, you know, I subscribed this place to you.

[1080] So to be really good in the play And they're like laughing And with stuff I wrote I was like oh this is This is it I don't want to do nothing else And I remember sitting in an auditorium by myself I think after all the students left Everybody was gone Sitting in the dark And I was like yo Hey God this is what I want to do And I was very specific I was like I want to be a comedian I want to be an actor I want to be a writer I don't know where to start I know I don't know nobody But this is this got to be it Because I don't want to ever lose That feeling again And that feeling of an audience engaging into your work is a feeling that you can never almost replace.

[1081] So it's like, I've been running.

[1082] That's why I said I started 19.

[1083] I've been just running towards this dream the whole time.

[1084] Did she answer you?

[1085] She?

[1086] I think that's funny you say that because.

[1087] I didn't even say that.

[1088] I knew your God was male.

[1089] Nope.

[1090] If I ain't hit me saying he or she, you did it.

[1091] That's why you don't.

[1092] I think God, that's it.

[1093] GOD.

[1094] We've all been there.

[1095] Turning to the internet to self -diagnose our inexplicable pains, debilitating body aches, sudden fevers, and strange rashes.

[1096] Though our minds tend to spiral to worst -case scenarios, it's usually nothing, but for an unlucky few, these unsuspecting symptoms can start the clock ticking on a terrifying medical mystery.

[1097] Like the unexplainable death of a retired firefighter, whose body was found at home by his son, except it looked like he had been cremated or the time when an entire town started jumping from buildings and seeing tigers on their ceilings.

[1098] Hey listeners, it's Mr. Ballin here, and I'm here to tell you about my podcast.

[1099] It's called Mr. Ballin's Medical Mysteries.

[1100] Each terrifying true story will be sure to keep you up at night.

[1101] Follow Mr. Ballin's Medical Mysteries wherever you get your podcasts.

[1102] Prime members can listen early and ad free on Amazon Music.

[1103] What's up guys?

[1104] It's your girl Kiki and my podcast is.

[1105] It's back with a new season, and let me tell you, it's too good.

[1106] And I'm diving into the brains of entertainment's best and brightest, okay?

[1107] Every episode, I bring on a friend and have a real conversation.

[1108] And I don't mean just friends.

[1109] I mean the likes of Amy Poehler, Kell Mitchell, Vivica Fox.

[1110] The list goes on.

[1111] So follow, watch, and listen to Baby.

[1112] This is Kiki Palmer on the Wondery app or wherever you get your podcast.

[1113] Growing up in a church, over time, I've changed my opinion on what I think about things because sometimes religion can put people in a box and, like, I'm watching this, like, documentary of Rosie O'Donnell, and they had their families on the ship, and, you know, the kids came off the ship, and you had these Christians that was calling, like, yelling at the kids, and it wasn't, they didn't pick a lifestyle, they were just the kids of, and they just yelling a year or the day.

[1114] I'm like, yeah, I don't want to be a part of that group.

[1115] That's fucked up, you know what I mean?

[1116] So I just, with me, it's just about whatever my belief is and my faith, and I love people, don't judge anybody.

[1117] You know what I'm saying?

[1118] You do whatever you want to do as long as you good to people.

[1119] That's all I care about.

[1120] Yeah.

[1121] But it's interesting because you, as you said, you have two kids, eight, nine.

[1122] Yeah.

[1123] And it's weird.

[1124] You can have this kind of juggily notion of all this stuff.

[1125] But then you go like, oh, I kind of got to refine this because they're going to ask me these things.

[1126] And you kind of got to make a decision, hmm, what am I going to pass on?

[1127] What are the elements I'm going to say, you know, that I still believe are great?

[1128] And what am I going to?

[1129] Well, you know, Well, Carol, when you think about it as a kid, you don't just get it from your parents, right?

[1130] You have your grandparents, have this belief, and everybody all these different books.

[1131] Which is actually a good thing because I think it helps them make their own decision later on.

[1132] I just don't think you force that.

[1133] So they have questions.

[1134] They just want to ask.

[1135] I'm like, some stuff is, this is on you.

[1136] I think the biggest thing I teach to them is, it's just faith in general, which I think is not necessarily religious.

[1137] It's more less like believing in yourself and being kind to others and loving to others.

[1138] other people like if this is your dream you go towards it's this simple stuff because if you have smart enough kids and you raise them right they're asking the right questions yeah and they'll figure some things out there and they might say something to you you never thought all about like huh well my grandparents on a weekend visiting them one baptized me southern baptist and the other one baptized me in a catholic church neither asked my parents and then i'm atheist by 14 so it's like Yeah, I'm starting to freak out about my mother -in -law, like indoctrinating my kids with this stuff.

[1139] It's like, oh, it doesn't even matter.

[1140] Like, they can just hear it all, and then it'll decide, and that'll be that.

[1141] We have a, I think the coolest things about, to me, what the future is now, is that you do have access to just figure out what you want to do.

[1142] Right.

[1143] And, you know, I think now as parents, you know, our generation of parents are a lot more open to, like, yo, I can't tell you what to do.

[1144] I'm a love on you no matter whatever you decide.

[1145] Now, on that topic of love and kindness to others, the most exciting thing I read about you is that you were in a car accident that ended in fisticuffs.

[1146] Yeah.

[1147] Well, here's the thing.

[1148] No, it don't hear the thing.

[1149] It's such a weird story.

[1150] Like, I'm still, like, literally going through that.

[1151] Oh, then don't talk about it.

[1152] If you got some kind of civil litigation going.

[1153] I mean, I can say it because when it was written, I was like, wait, first of all, dude, like, who gets in a car accident with an eye, let's box?

[1154] No, that's not what happened.

[1155] This dude, it's a 100 % true story, so I'm leaving, this is like game.

[1156] It's the NBA Finals game.

[1157] This is when Cleveland beat Golden State.

[1158] Kyrie had that great finals is what it was.

[1159] And I was going back to the hotel.

[1160] It was Father's Day weekend.

[1161] I remember, I'm like, I'm going to go back to the hotel.

[1162] I'm going to take a Uber guy.

[1163] I'll catch you out later.

[1164] My home girls are like, no, no, we can get you, one of us to take you.

[1165] Is this in Sacramento or in Chicago?

[1166] Oh, okay.

[1167] Come on, this is what happened to Sacramento.

[1168] So, I'm in Chicago, Chicago.

[1169] So we go on, I'm like, can we stop at this Papa John?

[1170] You mean Toronto with guns?

[1171] When you're walking around here, doesn't remind you to Chicago?

[1172] Nah.

[1173] It doesn't.

[1174] People say that, but I don't think, Toronto's things nicer.

[1175] I mean, oh, it's way nicer, yeah.

[1176] I'm from Detroit and we go on vacation here, and as a kid, I was like, it's like a clean Detroit.

[1177] Toronto's like a clean, any city in the United States.

[1178] Yeah, but it felt like a Disneyland city, like, that can't be this clean?

[1179] Why is that footlocker still clean?

[1180] But yeah, no, so anyway, I was like, yeah, let's stop and get some food.

[1181] I'm looking at my phone.

[1182] She's parking the car.

[1183] Next thing I don't know, I hit this dude like, yo, you fucking hit my car.

[1184] I'm like, who are you talking to?

[1185] And she gets out the car, and he walks up to her.

[1186] And he's like, yo, you fucking hit my car.

[1187] And I'm thinking, I'm still in a car like.

[1188] I'm like, all right, is this about to escalate it to something?

[1189] So he gets in her face, I get out the car, like, hey, bro, what's up?

[1190] What's the problem?

[1191] Like, yo, she fucking bumped into my car.

[1192] And I look at his car, I'm like, I don't see, I don't even see shit on the bumper.

[1193] What the fuck are you talking about?

[1194] Say, fuck that.

[1195] She's going to pay for this shit.

[1196] And what fuck some of you?

[1197] What's the, the cops are fucking coming in?

[1198] I'm like, bro, but she ain't do shit to your car, man. You know what I mean?

[1199] You should chill the fuck out.

[1200] So now I'm talking to him.

[1201] she pulled some old Chicago ghetto chick shit like fuck this shit I'm gone This is your problem now Get in the car I love my phone on the car Pull off without me So now I'm standing here with this big motherfucker Shit look brother You told her to do that No motherfucker my phone in the car You thought you were like the decoy Yeah like dude I would call an Uber and leave If I could I can't So I'm like talk to this dude We go back and foot Like, fuck that you're not going any fucking where you're waiting for the police?

[1202] I'm like, dude.

[1203] Look, do you need some money and something?

[1204] We can go to this ATM.

[1205] I'm not a broke guy.

[1206] Whatever you fucking need.

[1207] You stop this shit.

[1208] Fuck this shit.

[1209] Don't go to fuck, man. I'm like, all right, bro.

[1210] Like, what's the solution to this?

[1211] Because are we going to do this shit?

[1212] You, fuck you, man. I'm like, in my head, it's like, all right, real.

[1213] This is not going to be a peace, walk away.

[1214] You figure out of the way tickle him or do some shit and there's fucking run.

[1215] So I I attempted to reach to push him.

[1216] He's a taller gentleman, it sounds like.

[1217] No, he is.

[1218] This is why, you know, in criminal court, the judge looked at the shit was like, come on, for real.

[1219] I didn't even have to testify.

[1220] I'm serious.

[1221] I don't know.

[1222] I didn't even had a law suit on me because I didn't know somebody could sue you for whooping your ass.

[1223] I'm like, oh, what the fuck?

[1224] I lost the fight.

[1225] Why the fuck I'll get...

[1226] The criminal judge said that I was not guilty.

[1227] What the fuck are we?

[1228] I can't sue me. That's when you start learning about O .J. Simpson and all that shit.

[1229] It's like, oh, you can win a case and people can still sue.

[1230] It's fucking frightening.

[1231] So I'm like, I'm like, I try to run away this motherfucker grabbed me by my shirt, slam me down, whooped my ass.

[1232] Oh, boy.

[1233] Police show up.

[1234] I'm happy to see them.

[1235] I'm like, off the film.

[1236] You don't believe this shit.

[1237] And they start locking me up.

[1238] You introduce yourself as Milton.

[1239] Hi, I'm Milton.

[1240] Literally.

[1241] I did that shit.

[1242] I'm not lying to.

[1243] So the taller guy who wasn't black and talked to him, had a conversation with him, I'm in the police car like, so to get in the car, I'm looking at both of them, like, so...

[1244] Ain't anybody going to ask me what the fuck happened?

[1245] He pulled up, he was on top of me. There's still a personal shit like that.

[1246] So they're like, no, we already talked to him.

[1247] We got the story.

[1248] we get to the police station I know a couple of the police officers and shit right so they're like hey real what the fuck you doing here I tell them the story they kind of laugh at and shit they're like we'll get you out of here so you're not to keep you all night and the officers found out who I was the ones who arrested me and I thought everything was like I ain't a big deal I got to go to fucking criminal court and it's going to be thrown out what fucked everything up and what made it become a thing was I don't know how TMZ has police connections or whatever the fuck.

[1249] I wake up in the morning with a call for my manager, like, so anything you want to tell me?

[1250] No, motherfucker.

[1251] I'm on my way back that late.

[1252] So I talked to him, he told me TMZ, contacted him.

[1253] They're about to do a story.

[1254] I was like, what the fuck?

[1255] It's a video out.

[1256] It's not a video out.

[1257] But I'm not famous enough for no fucking story.

[1258] You know what I mean?

[1259] I'm just on the car.

[1260] I can show.

[1261] Friends of the people.

[1262] Ain't nobody heard this shit.

[1263] What the fuck they write the story about you?

[1264] And the story end up coming out, and it's just crazy story that was a rose rage thing.

[1265] And I I got out the car and knocked this motherfucker out.

[1266] Now, this way gets crazy.

[1267] Hold on, hold on.

[1268] Yeah.

[1269] My ego, I would have to really do some weighing at that point.

[1270] God, I guess I'd rather have people think I knock someone out.

[1271] I'm going to tell you some real shit.

[1272] Okay.

[1273] The stories that I knocked this motherfucker out.

[1274] Okay.

[1275] This dude went to the comment section of the TMZ story.

[1276] It was like, no the fuck he didn't I beat his ass.

[1277] Oh, thank God.

[1278] Oh, my God.

[1279] Because he could take that shit.

[1280] That would have been me at 25.

[1281] No, he didn't.

[1282] Yes, what a guy.

[1283] So I screenshot the shit.

[1284] You know, I sent it to my lawyers.

[1285] Oh, my God.

[1286] He could have walked with all your money if he hadn't done that.

[1287] Also, he wasn't even going to press charge.

[1288] Press charge of anything until they found out, oh, this motherfucker's on something.

[1289] Yeah.

[1290] He's on the Carmichael show.

[1291] He's on a, oh, he's a celebrity.

[1292] So then you get one of those weird -ass lawyers that kind of, hey, man, I can get money for you.

[1293] he ended up getting a lawyer and you know I beat the criminal case and I didn't think I'm like you can't fucking sue me if I just beat yeah I beat the criminal part of it the judge was like annoyed by us being there sure sure sure yeah he's telling the story of such a I didn't have to testify they asked what happened like yours it'd been great if there was like a oh my god what was the movie like you can't handle the truth yeah been great if there was a moment where it's like you're a Pussy.

[1294] L 'Orell kicked your ass.

[1295] He's like, no, he did it.

[1296] Like, it would have been great if they snapped him on the witness stand.

[1297] This fucking idiot, still, you would thought somebody was saying that to him.

[1298] He was saying all the type of stupid.

[1299] She's like, yeah, she came on to me and everything.

[1300] I'm like, what the fuck are you talking about?

[1301] He sounded like a man. Imagine me to court and his hip standing there and me like, right here.

[1302] It's like, he nods you out.

[1303] Yes, this motherfucker's sitting on Rocky Bobo.

[1304] And I knocked him to the fuck out.

[1305] Your Honor, do you know what Brazilian Jiu -Jitsu is?

[1306] It's a very powerful discipline.

[1307] But yeah, that end up happening and you know, but we still fight it because I refuse to pay them.

[1308] So I'm like, well, we're going to see this shit out.

[1309] I'll give you a fucking nice teller.

[1310] I'm going to pay somebody for whipping my ass.

[1311] No, no, no. You should get paid to have your ass with.

[1312] He ain't got shit.

[1313] He's got to give me some, like, because Steve works for Papa John's.

[1314] It turned out it was a Papa John's truck.

[1315] Oh.

[1316] Is that his job?

[1317] Is it hard to eat at Papa John's now?

[1318] Man, I don't know what the fuck.

[1319] His friends would...

[1320] It's such a crazy...

[1321] I can't wait to...

[1322] I'm going to talk about it by special, my next special.

[1323] But it is...

[1324] It is insane.

[1325] Like, people are like...

[1326] Everything, the evidence is against him.

[1327] It's all shit that's show that he's...

[1328] It's...

[1329] Like, why do you want to keep this going?

[1330] I'm not giving you shit.

[1331] Right.

[1332] I feel like you should, like, try to order pizza from him.

[1333] I think I should.

[1334] I feel like there's some weird way for you to get retribution.

[1335] But you don't...

[1336] I know that he's doing that bullshit, Because you know anybody, you ever have people that you know, they're like, yeah, I got that lawsuit penned.

[1337] I'm going to be okay.

[1338] Oh, yeah.

[1339] He bought a boat already.

[1340] He thinks he's in a Marvel movie.

[1341] Yeah, he's like, yeah, I got this.

[1342] Uncle Drew, okay, get out.

[1343] Okay, 200 million.

[1344] Yeah.

[1345] Every time you have a success.

[1346] And we're going to never work again.

[1347] I ain't never going to.

[1348] Like, all right, good luck, motherfucker.

[1349] Yeah, he's in a great mood.

[1350] Like, what's going on?

[1351] Oh, Lil Rel just got a Samsung commercial.

[1352] It's like, pay.

[1353] And this lady's like, Little Rills, he has to start the Hollywood Bougolai.

[1354] We're going to be okay.

[1355] He just got the Lifetime Achievement Award.

[1356] He died, but I think his family still got a...

[1357] Well, listen to me. A bazillion thanks for not even knowing me, ghosting my email, and then walking offstage, walking right back on.

[1358] You're so much fun.

[1359] I'm so grateful to you for coming out here.

[1360] you guys again thank you so so so much we would love to come back we love Toronto we love armcherry so much again thanks little Ralph for doing this and thank you Bob Murvac and thank you Scotty and thank everyone please stay tuned for the fact check after this beautiful musical interlude by Bob Murvac that was part of the live experience I just learned this one today, so it's dedicated to my friends, Dax, and Monica.

[1361] Thank you so much Welcome to the fact Welcome to the fact check Monica Padman Oh, it's sad without a song Well, you know what?

[1362] They're going to be intermittent Okay I'm going to do it when the When inspiration strikes Okay Not out of routine No one wants routine from me, do they?

[1363] They want like when I was driving in and I was thinking of some fun song and then...

[1364] Oh, right, because you're a 10 on the soul scale, so you need to add some...

[1365] Oh, no, we're still talking about the soul spectrum.

[1366] You didn't even get it right.

[1367] Oh, of course I didn't get it right, because I'm only a five.

[1368] Textbook.

[1369] That was so five on the soul spectrum.

[1370] Why did you bring that up?

[1371] We just got over that.

[1372] I'm over it.

[1373] Oh, okay.

[1374] It was just funny.

[1375] It is funny.

[1376] But you did have to text me to let me know that you were...

[1377] Because you thought I was upset.

[1378] I really did.

[1379] did.

[1380] Yeah.

[1381] I wasn't.

[1382] So I'm in a very codependent relationship with you.

[1383] Me as well.

[1384] O'D equal.

[1385] Me undie.

[1386] Me as well.

[1387] Me as well.

[1388] Me as well.

[1389] Me as well.

[1390] Me as well.

[1391] What about meandies?

[1392] I want more.

[1393] You do.

[1394] Yeah.

[1395] You're addicted to meandies.

[1396] Yeah.

[1397] I want all of them.

[1398] I told you I found the lounge pants.

[1399] Yeah.

[1400] I love them.

[1401] Yeah.

[1402] I want some lounge pants.

[1403] I mean sincerely.

[1404] I feel so sexy in them.

[1405] I like my onesie.

[1406] Yeah.

[1407] It's great.

[1408] I have a little.

[1409] I have a little bit.

[1410] I have a little bit.

[1411] I love them.

[1412] I love them.

[1413] I love pants.

[1414] I have a lot.

[1415] I have a lot of little bit of a moose knuckle issue in mine i get a bigger size but i have to be like there are certain guests i wouldn't wear them around you know what i'm saying it's almost like a litmus test of how close you are with us if i wear my one size too small me onesies i'm surprised that you're just not wearing it all the time really it's a very noticeable moose knuckle like i don't think you could miss it well i missed it well now i I'm disappointed in you and my moose knuckle.

[1416] Sorry.

[1417] I don't really think of you as being prude.

[1418] No, that's true.

[1419] But I also don't want to be the guy like where there's six families hanging out.

[1420] And one of the dads, and one of the dads' penises is very visible.

[1421] It just feels inappropriate.

[1422] I don't think it's a prude thing.

[1423] Yeah.

[1424] It is.

[1425] But I generally don't think of you as someone who cares about that.

[1426] Oh, I do.

[1427] I don't want to make anyone feel uncomfortable.

[1428] Now, with a willing partner, there's no prudeness.

[1429] But just, you know, friends, they don't want to.

[1430] They don't deserve that.

[1431] They're not in the market for any knuckle.

[1432] Yeah, that's true.

[1433] Lil Rel rel.

[1434] Lil Rel rel.

[1435] Lil Relo Bird Box.

[1436] Lil Relo was in Bird Box.

[1437] Everyone should go watch Bird Box to see Lil Relo because this is the most popular movie in America.

[1438] Yeah, probably.

[1439] I think so numbers -wise.

[1440] Did we, but they never released numbers.

[1441] And they did release numbers?

[1442] Is that the thing?

[1443] Yeah, I want to say they said like 46 million people watched it or something within the first.

[1444] Which if that were a movie, that would be like a $500 million movie within two weeks.

[1445] Yeah.

[1446] It's crazy.

[1447] Let's talk about movies that we saw that we really like.

[1448] Okay.

[1449] Some people know, well, what should I watch?

[1450] Vice.

[1451] That's really our pick.

[1452] So good.

[1453] We both saw voice over the break.

[1454] Yeah.

[1455] I'm getting a lot of addiction issues.

[1456] You think it's because.

[1457] Is it the Cheez -It's you gave me?

[1458] Don't blame me and the Cheez -Its for your diction.

[1459] Me, Cheez -I -It's great.

[1460] It is pretty paroxal.

[1461] I bet I sound kind of gross and snotty.

[1462] No. You sound cute like you just woke up.

[1463] How about that?

[1464] I have a little cold, so forgive the sound.

[1465] If you have misophony.

[1466] I'm a little nervous because I'm shooting a commercial this week.

[1467] I'm a little nervous.

[1468] I'm going to get fired.

[1469] You won't.

[1470] I'm very nervous.

[1471] Listen, the time you got fired, you didn't even get fired.

[1472] Well, listen, I'm nervous for two reasons.

[1473] And so now you have this huge fear of being fired and you're just never going to be fired.

[1474] I have a fitting tomorrow, technically.

[1475] And I heard from the girl on Friday to get my initial sizes.

[1476] But normally by now I would have heard from her again.

[1477] I have it.

[1478] This is crazy.

[1479] And so I might get fired just because I should get fired.

[1480] Or I might get fired when I arrive because I sound not good and they are not going to want to pay for ADR.

[1481] No, listen to me. You don't sound bad.

[1482] And if you don't know your voice super well, you would never be able to tell that it's 8 % different.

[1483] Well, if you get fired, you can still work here.

[1484] That's what I tell myself.

[1485] That's true.

[1486] I can still work here.

[1487] No, I'm very, very happy to work here.

[1488] Me too.

[1489] The Lil 'Rell.

[1490] Tell me about Little Rell.

[1491] So he told a really funny story about his son, embarrassing him when they were somewhere with his son's friends, where Lilrell walked away to get, like, food or something, and came back and saw, like, a bunch of kids crowded around in a circle.

[1492] And he was like, what's going on?

[1493] And it was his son.

[1494] And he was dancing for all these white kids.

[1495] Oh, right, right, right.

[1496] And he was conflicted.

[1497] Yeah.

[1498] And I thought that was so interesting.

[1499] Because I never would have thought about that.

[1500] The social historical context.

[1501] In the context that he took it, which, but of course, is correct.

[1502] Like, he should have that.

[1503] instinct to be like, oh no, don't be doing, don't do that.

[1504] Don't do that.

[1505] Yeah.

[1506] Yes.

[1507] But, but, but which is funny because he's probably, you know, he said his son is one of probably the one of the few minorities there.

[1508] Yeah.

[1509] Persons of colors.

[1510] Yeah.

[1511] So probably trying to fit in or be.

[1512] Well, here's what's tricky.

[1513] He might love dancing and love attention.

[1514] I know.

[1515] And it's totally fine.

[1516] Yeah.

[1517] Without the historical context.

[1518] It is.

[1519] And do you impose a past historical context onto someone who's enjoying themselves?

[1520] This is the power of culture.

[1521] The example I always try to give is in Papua New Guinea when they greet little kids, they fondle their genitals.

[1522] Now, no one's fondling their genitals in a sexual manner.

[1523] They just fondle each other's genitals when they greet kids.

[1524] Now, if you lived here and someone fondle your genitals your whole life, you would grow up with lots of problems.

[1525] That would be trauma because that's the culture we live in, where that way you would have been abused yeah but if you're if there's no distinction of abuse you don't have trauma it's it's it's it's i guess what i'm saying is culture knows no bounds these things that we think are you know intrinsically good or bad or this or that they really are wrapped up in this envelope of culture yeah like dancing for people and they're giving you attention and clapping and it feels good yeah do you need to feel guilty about it no you don't except i wonder if he will later like who knows who knows i don't know i don't know and i don't know how it started like how did it start where he first started dancing for people and then they started clapping but what's so interesting is it's like every 10 year old's looking for that thing that they can be their friends are going to be blown away by so if he had if he had come over and his son was ollieing on a skateboard and doing ollie kick flips and everyone was cheering he probably wouldn't think anything of it But it happens to be dancing It also happens to be the group around him Maybe if that was a more multicultural group I'm just saying if he was doing a historically white activity Maybe even if it was a white activity But it's with a bunch of white people around Whitey Like it probably is whitey Singular Yes Yeah I don't know It's just an interesting thought I hadn't really thought about it Yeah Yeah, look, if I were him, I would, I'd feel the same way.

[1526] Yeah, me too.

[1527] I'd be, I'd be nervous.

[1528] Milton Bradley is a game company.

[1529] You'd second -guessed yourself on that.

[1530] And it is American board game manufacturer established by Milton Bradley in Springfield, Massachusetts in 1860.

[1531] Wow.

[1532] I'm pretty fascinated by people who create games.

[1533] Me too.

[1534] They're even one step weird than magicians, I think.

[1535] Oh, well, magicians are not weird.

[1536] They're very hot and attractive.

[1537] Sure.

[1538] And weird, yeah.

[1539] Weird like we're all weird.

[1540] Yeah, everyone's weird.

[1541] Like hot and sexy.

[1542] Like hot.

[1543] But yeah, the type of person who sits in their room and practices slide a hand is just a very specific personality type.

[1544] Yeah.

[1545] And then someone, I think beyond that would be someone, on creating a game in their head, you know?

[1546] It just feels very introverted, doesn't it?

[1547] Yeah, I guess so.

[1548] I guess it does.

[1549] You know, we've talked frequently about Klaus.

[1550] Yeah, well, actually, I don't know if we've talked about that here.

[1551] Not here, but in our life.

[1552] Yes, in our life, Klaus, the creator of settlers of Catan.

[1553] Yes, and he's German.

[1554] Yeah.

[1555] And we're very intrigued by Klaus.

[1556] Yes, sometimes we refer to him when we're playing.

[1557] We do.

[1558] As if he's God.

[1559] And he became aware of us because we talk about settlers at Catan so much in post pictures of it that somehow word got to him all the way over in Germany and he sent us a signed game.

[1560] Yeah, which is cool.

[1561] In German.

[1562] And then we thought, what if he wanted to play with us?

[1563] Oh, can you imagine?

[1564] And then what did we think?

[1565] Oh, no, what if we won?

[1566] We started thinking, what if we beat Klaus at his own game and would he be crying?

[1567] Oh, yeah.

[1568] We were pretending he was crying in German, and it became a whole thing.

[1569] Oh, boy.

[1570] Yeah.

[1571] Yeah, you never want to beat someone at their own game.

[1572] No, you're on fair and square.

[1573] The loss is mine.

[1574] It's okay.

[1575] You've won fair and square.

[1576] Oh, no. It would be so sad.

[1577] I would be hugging Klaus.

[1578] That part sounds nice.

[1579] Yeah.

[1580] Yeah, comforting him.

[1581] But anyways, we decided, I guess the ultimate result was that we decided we would throw the game if we were playing with Klaus.

[1582] Sure, sure.

[1583] But I'd also want us all to be playing our very best to see, because he, look, we don't need to worry about this.

[1584] He's going to beat us.

[1585] I don't know.

[1586] I don't believe that.

[1587] Oh, my gosh.

[1588] It's not like the person who invented baseball was as good as Mickey Mantle.

[1589] I know, but he's probably had to play it so much in order to figure out all the rules.

[1590] There's still dice involved.

[1591] I mean, there's, there is luck.

[1592] I played it a lot on my phone over the break.

[1593] I'm not allowed to play it.

[1594] That's my rule for myself.

[1595] Yeah.

[1596] But I can play when I'm home and on the airplane.

[1597] And I did.

[1598] And it was so weird being by myself doing it.

[1599] Because there were a couple games where I started it.

[1600] And I was like, this is not like.

[1601] You're going to lose.

[1602] I'm definitely losing.

[1603] And not really because I did anything wrong.

[1604] Because they picked the two best spots before it was your turn.

[1605] Not even spots.

[1606] It was like nothing was getting rolled.

[1607] Okay.

[1608] Every time.

[1609] I got robbed every time.

[1610] It was like all these things, I had to really fight the urge to start a new game.

[1611] Yes.

[1612] Yeah.

[1613] I make myself go through with those two.

[1614] And I'm often shocked that I end up winning those games.

[1615] Oh, I didn't.

[1616] You didn't win?

[1617] No, I had to lose.

[1618] Oh, yeah.

[1619] I mean, I ended up getting a little closer and felt like, oh, I'm glad I didn't quit, but then I still lost.

[1620] Do you play to 13 points like I do?

[1621] No, I don't.

[1622] Oh, gosh.

[1623] You hate this about me. My favorite thing in the world is to.

[1624] win the game.

[1625] You play to 13, but there is a way to get to 14 points and win.

[1626] And when I do that, I take a screen grab and I send it to you and you hate it.

[1627] Because I have won a couple different times 14 to 3 and 2.

[1628] Oh, do I feel great when that happened.

[1629] I feel like Klaus.

[1630] I'm celebrating.

[1631] I don't hate anything about you.

[1632] You know that.

[1633] You know, come on.

[1634] Well, I also am not allowed to say the word hate anymore because you erased it from my vocabulary.

[1635] Yeah, you say it all the time.

[1636] So anyway, but there's nothing.

[1637] There's nothing I hate about you.

[1638] Okay.

[1639] So, oh, you made a joke about his name, Milton.

[1640] And you said it wasn't a good name.

[1641] And you said that, you said that there's never been an NBA star named Milton.

[1642] Uh -oh.

[1643] Wrong.

[1644] Uh -oh.

[1645] Milton Doyle.

[1646] Milton Doyle.

[1647] That sounds like an Irishman.

[1648] I don't believe he is.

[1649] Because he's black.

[1650] Yeah.

[1651] He is, I think, still a guard for the Long Island Nets.

[1652] No. No?

[1653] Well, he can't.

[1654] I love you.

[1655] I love you so much.

[1656] The Long Island Nets probably have not been the Long Island Nets for 60 years or something.

[1657] Okay, so he was.

[1658] Sure.

[1659] No, 60 years.

[1660] He was born in 1993.

[1661] No, that can't be.

[1662] The Long Island Nets, it's the New Jersey Nets.

[1663] I bet it hasn't been the Long Island Nets since the 20s or something.

[1664] Oh.

[1665] Oh, my gosh, so the Nurt's no, I've got egg on my face.

[1666] So the New Jersey Nets moved to Brooklyn?

[1667] And at one point they were, I guess, the Long Island Nets.

[1668] And on the site that I saw it, they were still labeled as such.

[1669] Oh, my God.

[1670] They're bouncing all around the five boroughs.

[1671] Milton Doyle is still a star.

[1672] A star.

[1673] currently but oh no here we go sorry here we go the point I made that we in biology that we we in biology will maintain that the point stands because my point was that when little Rale grew up with the name Milton in Chicago is that where's wrong yes yeah when he grew up in Chicago in the 80s with the name Milton it was a bummer of a name and there weren't any NBA stars named Milton so the point I was making was that was It's a rough name on the playground in Chicago in the 80s.

[1674] And now it might be easier because we got this guy on the Long Island slash Brooklyn, New Jersey Nats.

[1675] Okay.

[1676] All right.

[1677] Sure.

[1678] Do you think Monica was a good name to grow up with?

[1679] You didn't dislike that name, did you?

[1680] Totally fine.

[1681] I hated it.

[1682] But it was not like.

[1683] It sounds white.

[1684] Right down the middle.

[1685] Yeah, it sounds wide enough.

[1686] Enough.

[1687] It's easy to pronounce on the role, no one's stumbling.

[1688] When I go to text you, two Monica's pop up.

[1689] Yeah, Monica Potter.

[1690] You and Monica Potter, both MP.

[1691] Yeah.

[1692] And Monica Potter is as white as it gets.

[1693] Right.

[1694] She is a blonde -haired whitey.

[1695] Yeah, my name is very lucky.

[1696] Mm -hmm.

[1697] I would say.

[1698] I could have gone a lot of different ways.

[1699] My real last name is much longer.

[1700] Than Padman.

[1701] Yeah, has all these extra letters.

[1702] I don't even know how to pronounce it.

[1703] Are some of the letters not even in our alphabet?

[1704] Yeah, some are characters.

[1705] Oh, wow.

[1706] And in numbers?

[1707] And my dad's dad or my dad's grandfather, somebody...

[1708] Put an end to it.

[1709] Yes, early, thank God.

[1710] And so my dad's name has always been Padman.

[1711] Uh -huh.

[1712] But it's actually way, way, way longer.

[1713] So I got really lucky...

[1714] I want to hear it so bad.

[1715] I'll find out what it is.

[1716] So...

[1717] My goal at the end of this podcast in 20 years is you are so Indian.

[1718] You're unrecognizable.

[1719] You'll be wearing traditional Indian garb You'll be speaking one of the many dialects Good luck That's the full evolution of this podcast You want me to, I'd be such a different person You'll be Maana Chila The secretary What was her saying she said She said something that was very scary And then she said that was a joke And we would text that to each other While that was fresh in our craw Yeah That was a joke My memory's been raging.

[1720] Wow, I wonder if it's some of the supplements I've been taking.

[1721] I know.

[1722] I've been taking cocaine, methamphetamine.

[1723] Yeah, it's probably, though.

[1724] It's working.

[1725] You really have been taking adaptogens, right?

[1726] So have I. Mm -hmm.

[1727] But I don't think my memories, I think it's getting worse.

[1728] Well, that's the trajectory of memories.

[1729] It just gets worse and worse.

[1730] Congratulations.

[1731] But I'm trying to fight it with these...

[1732] Adaptogens.

[1733] Yeah, these powders.

[1734] Mine seem to be working.

[1735] Maybe my memory has to get bad so that it can come back up.

[1736] Ooh, uh -huh, like a phoenix rising from the ashes.

[1737] That's right.

[1738] Yeah, that's right.

[1739] Anyway, Milton Doyle.

[1740] We in mythology know that the Phoenix stands for.

[1741] I know.

[1742] Everyone who's read Harry Potter knows about the Phoenix.

[1743] Oh, and I've not read Harry Potter.

[1744] I'm actually looking forward to doing that with the girls, I suppose.

[1745] But I want to do it on tape.

[1746] No, you got to read it to them.

[1747] Listen, when we read books, I have a learning disability.

[1748] I've talked about a couple billion.

[1749] times on here.

[1750] And I was, you know what book was hard for me to read to them the other day?

[1751] Or just Delta, I was reading her the, um, that great Pixar movie about, uh, Diaz Moira's, what I see.

[1752] I can't say that either.

[1753] Moana?

[1754] No, no, um, the day of the dead.

[1755] Coco.

[1756] Coco.

[1757] Oh, Coco.

[1758] I was reading Coco and there were so many, uh, Spanish words in there that were so hard for me to pronounce.

[1759] Like, it was, it, it took the wind out of me to read that book.

[1760] My tongue was sore afterwards.

[1761] It took all my concentrate.

[1762] I was kaput.

[1763] Oh, wow.

[1764] That's very kaput.

[1765] Well, you're able to speak in German, so I don't know why you weren't able to speak in Spanish.

[1766] I think because my ancestry is Germanic.

[1767] So it's genetically, I'm predisposed to those hard consonants.

[1768] Sure.

[1769] Yeah, that's hard.

[1770] Sometimes those kids' books are hard to read.

[1771] I have that problem, too.

[1772] And I just think Terence Posner is full of all these weird witches names and warlocks and goblins.

[1773] Like, they all have silly names.

[1774] And I'm going to, every time I have to say one of the character's names, I'm going to have a hard time.

[1775] Oh, okay.

[1776] I understand that.

[1777] Do you want me to read it to you guys?

[1778] That would be great.

[1779] I'll read it to you guys.

[1780] I know how to pronounce everything because I've read them a couple times.

[1781] Let's, yeah, let's start soon.

[1782] Okay.

[1783] Okay, so back to Milton's.

[1784] Now I'm self -conscious that I'm wrong about this.

[1785] But in my research, I also found Milton O 'Bell Bradley Jr. is a retired major league baseball outfielder.

[1786] I just got self -conscious because this person's name is Milton Bradley.

[1787] That's right.

[1788] And Rob is saying I'm correct.

[1789] Wabi says, and Wabi knows his athletes and his sports, and his sports teams and his sports mascots in particular.

[1790] He shared Blaze with us.

[1791] Yeah, he showed Blaze.

[1792] Was that its name?

[1793] No, it wasn't Blaze.

[1794] Asshole or something.

[1795] Monsters.

[1796] The Devils, the NHL Devils new mascot, and I thought his name was Blaze or something.

[1797] He looks like he's on fire and going to hell.

[1798] Speaking of Blaze, that's a good transition.

[1799] You talk about a person named Blaze that gave himself the name Blaze.

[1800] Yeah.

[1801] And I want to be able to fact check and say if his name really is Blaze, but how could I do that?

[1802] This is a random person that you met one time.

[1803] Yeah, that had an aggressive hairdo.

[1804] But if he's listening, I'd like him to write to.

[1805] to us and tell us that his name really is blaze because I believe that his name could really be blaze.

[1806] I do.

[1807] If you saw him, you wouldn't believe that.

[1808] I know you said that.

[1809] And I took some of that out because some of it was, well, no, I took out the description you gave because it's going to be hurtful to some people.

[1810] Why would I say?

[1811] True religion jeans.

[1812] No one's wearing true religion jeans still.

[1813] They might be.

[1814] And that doesn't make them bad.

[1815] You're right.

[1816] So I had to take it out.

[1817] Okay.

[1818] How do you describe people?

[1819] You know, that's the problem.

[1820] Because you can't describe them by race.

[1821] You want to.

[1822] Well, we need to describe people in life.

[1823] It's relevant to the story.

[1824] But it's not.

[1825] It's the tapestry.

[1826] Yeah, you can describe him, but you're saying the reason that you knew he was lying and full of shit was based on how he was dressed.

[1827] And that is not true.

[1828] It could be a good clue, can't it?

[1829] Listen, all right.

[1830] I'm with you to a degree.

[1831] But there is some clothing styles that is aggressive.

[1832] There was a popular one called Affliction.

[1833] Okay, that was in this.

[1834] Oh, it was, and you cut that out too.

[1835] Okay.

[1836] You know, there are some clothing lines catering to toxic masculinity.

[1837] And I think it's okay to make fun of that.

[1838] Interesting.

[1839] We need a place, a safe place to make fun of that.

[1840] Like if you're wearing a bunch of like real big steel jewelry in your face with the skulls and stuff.

[1841] Like, you know.

[1842] You're saying something.

[1843] Yeah, right.

[1844] Yeah.

[1845] But, okay, but here's my fear.

[1846] How else are we going to shame people into being nicer?

[1847] We also live, but it's not not nice to wear a type of gene.

[1848] I really have to sneeze.

[1849] Like these affliction shirts basically said, fuck you.

[1850] That was the name of Bless Sue.

[1851] Thank you.

[1852] Oh, hi, baby.

[1853] Hi.

[1854] Welcome back.

[1855] Thank you.

[1856] Yeah.

[1857] So, yes, but this is my fear because let me tell you a really embarrassing story.

[1858] Okay.

[1859] I thought there might be a personal route to this issue.

[1860] So.

[1861] You wore true religion jeans a little longer than you should have.

[1862] No, I never wore them.

[1863] I wanted to.

[1864] They were hot with a W -T.

[1865] I had a pair.

[1866] I wore them all through filming employee of the mom.

[1867] month, I was in true religion.

[1868] Yeah.

[1869] We have a different style on the West Coast.

[1870] Right.

[1871] So how do we know what's happening with people?

[1872] We don't want to judge their personalities based on the trend.

[1873] That's true.

[1874] That's true.

[1875] Look, everything you're saying's true and everything I'm saying is true, which is we need to shame people who are wearing aggressive clothing.

[1876] The message they're sending is fuck you.

[1877] Let me tell you about my story.

[1878] Okay.

[1879] Okay.

[1880] So I once bought an Ed Hardy.

[1881] party t -shirt it was purple uh -huh and it had a cute design it had a heart on it and they didn't get popular because they weren't attractive but why did they well they weren't attractive i mean in my my opinion they weren't but they were hugely popular which leads me to believe they were attractive to many people right but you know what but i i probably didn't think it was attractive but I probably heard the name sure and then I stumbled upon it and I wanted it because I guess I thought it was popular cool right and now it's so embarrassing that I owned I wore it sure that's great though that's part of the funniest part about being alive is that you you put your you go out on a limb and you try out a style and then you see pictures of it later and then it just really points out how goofy we all are it's kind of fun yeah it is fun it's kind of fun it's kind of cute of us all.

[1882] It is.

[1883] We look stupid when we look back at ourselves.

[1884] Yes, you're right.

[1885] But I don't, I would have been so sad if I was listening to my favorite podcast and I was wearing it.

[1886] And then my hero, my cult leader said that it was.

[1887] But maybe it would be doing you a favor.

[1888] In that, if you're wearing, you know, the full garb that is basically telling the world, fuck you, I'm not vulnerable.

[1889] And I'm pointing out to you that maybe that's the message you're sending and you can evaluate it in that moment and go, oh, that isn't the message I want to send it.

[1890] It could be helpful.

[1891] Yeah.

[1892] You know?

[1893] Could be.

[1894] Look, there's probably a lot of people listening, 10 or 12, that are thinking, well, you're wearing overalls, and that's a big, fuck you.

[1895] Someone has the opinion about my overalls that I have about true religion jeans with lots of rhinestones on the pockets.

[1896] Yeah.

[1897] Well, I hope they don't because I love your overalls and I love your style and I think everyone should have their own style.

[1898] Yeah.

[1899] And if you know your intentions, like it doesn't bother me when people criticize my overalls.

[1900] Yeah.

[1901] I've been wearing them since 10th grade.

[1902] He's got my first pair of car heart overalls and I just enjoy them and I'm comfortable with people not liking them.

[1903] Yeah.

[1904] Even my favorite, even if Howard Stern went on a 10 -minute tirade about how stupid overalls are, I'd still love them.

[1905] And it wouldn't impact my decision to wear them at all.

[1906] That's true.

[1907] So if you are feeling good today in your Affliction T -shirt and your chrome hearts jewelry and your true religion jeans, then fucking good on you.

[1908] And don't listen to me. Enjoy your day.

[1909] There we go.

[1910] That's good.

[1911] That's a good takeaway.

[1912] Yeah.

[1913] So does Vince McMahon give names to wrestlers?

[1914] Great question.

[1915] Good question.

[1916] No. I think they give them to themselves, but then they give them to themselves.

[1917] They have to basically get them approved because they can't have two.

[1918] By Vintz?

[1919] Yeah, you can't have two Hulk Hogan's.

[1920] It's really like the Booker, the booker for the show that they're doing.

[1921] Wrestling show?

[1922] Yeah.

[1923] I mean the match, whatever it is called.

[1924] Yeah, like I couldn't join as Snake Bliss or Stone Cold Steve Austin.

[1925] Jake the Snake Roberts.

[1926] I couldn't join as him or Superfly Snooka.

[1927] It's already taken.

[1928] Snooka?

[1929] That was one of the guys when I was a kid.

[1930] Do you want to hear the guys when I was a kid?

[1931] Sure.

[1932] Do you know I loved big time wrestling, WWF?

[1933] Yeah, I think I did know that.

[1934] Of course, Andre, the Giants number one.

[1935] Of course.

[1936] But here were some of the folks I liked.

[1937] Superfly Snooka, the ultimate warrior.

[1938] Okay.

[1939] That's a good one.

[1940] British Bulldogs.

[1941] They were twins.

[1942] Hacksaw Jim Duggan didn't care for him.

[1943] Okay.

[1944] Yeah, he comes up in this episode.

[1945] Oh, he does.

[1946] Okay.

[1947] And then Lou Elbiano.

[1948] He put, he had the little rubber bands in his beard.

[1949] Say it again.

[1950] Oh, okay.

[1951] And the Iron Sheik was racist, I think, against Middle Eastern folks.

[1952] Okay, great.

[1953] But Captain Lou Elbano had some tiny rubber bands in his beard, and he made his way into Cindy Lopper videos and a Cindy Lopper movie.

[1954] Wow.

[1955] I always loved when guys ended up in these movies.

[1956] I'll tell you another example.

[1957] King Kong Bundy loved him.

[1958] He was second biggest to Andre the Giant.

[1959] He ended up in a gang movie my brother and I love called The Wanderers.

[1960] Well, you know what else?

[1961] Lou Farragno.

[1962] It was in, I love you, man. Well, Lou Farigno was not a big -time wrestler, just for the record.

[1963] He was a bodybuilder.

[1964] He was the Hulk, the incredible Hulk.

[1965] Right.

[1966] To me, it's all the same.

[1967] Bodybuilding and big -time wrestling.

[1968] Certainly there's a lot of cross -pollination and migration from one sport to the other.

[1969] Yeah.

[1970] Yeah.

[1971] Well, I just went to a WWE raw event.

[1972] Oh, yeah.

[1973] You know, and it was too loud for this old man. If I went again, I loved the show.

[1974] But the rock and roll between the fights was so aggressive.

[1975] I laughed so hard because you went with Jess and some of our other friends.

[1976] And yeah, and all these old geysers come home.

[1977] And I was like, how was it?

[1978] So loud.

[1979] It was too loud for me. That is how Callie and I, my friend Callie from home.

[1980] That's how we knew we were too old for Hollister.

[1981] What's Hollister?

[1982] Hollister is a store in the mall that we used to love.

[1983] It was like, I think owned by the same people as it.

[1984] Abercrombie or something and we used to go there a lot that was our favorite store yeah I was kind of surfer California but preppy okay like a laid back by but kind of preppy yeah and at one point we realized we were too old for it because like it was crowded and in loud in there and felt like we'd outgrown in we could tell by the volume right yeah but I do want to go back to a raw event with ear plugs.

[1985] Okay.

[1986] Because I think I would have really enjoyed it with ear plugs.

[1987] But then you wouldn't be able to talk to your friends.

[1988] You're right, and I don't enjoy it.

[1989] You know, that, you just isolated exactly what my issue is with the volume.

[1990] Yeah.

[1991] I only go places to talk to my friends.

[1992] To me, it's just another setting to be doing this.

[1993] Social, yeah.

[1994] I don't want to do anything but talk.

[1995] I agree.

[1996] I don't want to sit next to people staring forward.

[1997] Me either.

[1998] It's boring.

[1999] It's so boring.

[2000] That's why I don't, honestly, Love concerts.

[2001] I don't love concerts either.

[2002] There's a handful of people I love seeing, and that's it.

[2003] Do you want to hear who they are?

[2004] Yeah.

[2005] Definitely the Avid brothers.

[2006] I'd love to see them in concert.

[2007] They are so spectacular.

[2008] Yeah.

[2009] I love seeing Hall & Oates.

[2010] Yeah.

[2011] Love seeing Steely Dan.

[2012] Great.

[2013] Any of these bands where the musicians are so talented, like their road musicians are a long time.

[2014] Like Steely Dan's drummers are always the best drummers in the world.

[2015] Yeah.

[2016] I just, I love that.

[2017] But, yeah, in general, concerts, no thanks.

[2018] Yeah.

[2019] And you always hear me say, too, I don't even want to receive a blowjob for more than one hour.

[2020] Right.

[2021] There's nothing I want to be doing that long either.

[2022] Yeah.

[2023] It's all too long.

[2024] Like, this podcast.

[2025] This podcast is long.

[2026] Too long.

[2027] Okay.

[2028] Is there a red lobster in Canada?

[2029] Great news.

[2030] There is at least one red lobster in Alberta, Manitoba, Ontario.

[2031] in Saskatchewan.

[2032] Great.

[2033] Congratulations, guys.

[2034] Yeah.

[2035] Go get those cheesy biscuits.

[2036] Listen, there are a lot of Canadian arm cherries, and I'm really happy that they can go get those cheesy biscuits.

[2037] I know.

[2038] I'd like to have those and see if they hold up.

[2039] Yeah.

[2040] Kind of like our...

[2041] The older we get, the more I'm learning.

[2042] I keep going to restaurants thinking that they've gone downhill, and I'm now coming to realize just my tastes have changed.

[2043] I don't want to mention...

[2044] Should we tell people or no?

[2045] Oh, that we had the restaurants.

[2046] rectangle sandwich?

[2047] Yeah.

[2048] Yeah, because that's kind of a win, I feel like.

[2049] It was.

[2050] I still really liked it.

[2051] I liked it.

[2052] It wasn't as good as I remember, but they did not put heavy mayonnaise on there.

[2053] That, that, so I can't really judge it.

[2054] But it was good.

[2055] It was really good.

[2056] Well, what did happen is the lettuce was, there was like two pieces of lettuce.

[2057] They were not the most fresh green I've ever seen.

[2058] In their defense, we did have it delivered.

[2059] We had it delivered.

[2060] And, and it's just something.

[2061] that I never would have noticed.

[2062] Like, I don't think it's that there was less lettuce than there used to be.

[2063] I think that's what they do.

[2064] And I never would have noticed it then.

[2065] You wouldn't care about lettuce.

[2066] And now I care about lettuce.

[2067] Yeah.

[2068] Still a good sandwich.

[2069] It was good.

[2070] It was good.

[2071] I kind of wanted.

[2072] I'd have another.

[2073] Yeah.

[2074] But I would definitely make sure.

[2075] We should eat them in a Burger King.

[2076] Okay.

[2077] And get heavy mayonnaise.

[2078] Okay.

[2079] Okay.

[2080] But I did my combo with mayonnaise and ketchup and it was fantastic.

[2081] Yeah.

[2082] Okay.

[2083] So you said so much.

[2084] many people have come out of Living Color.

[2085] Uh -huh.

[2086] And, but we didn't really say who.

[2087] Jamie Fox, Jim Carrey.

[2088] Fire Marshal Bill.

[2089] David Allen Greer.

[2090] Jennifer Lopez.

[2091] Right.

[2092] She was a fly girl.

[2093] Fly girl.

[2094] Yeah.

[2095] But you also have the brothers.

[2096] All three of the brothers.

[2097] All of the Wayne brothers.

[2098] All came from in Living Color.

[2099] Yeah.

[2100] And I love Damon.

[2101] Yeah.

[2102] Uh -huh.

[2103] Love.

[2104] Yeah.

[2105] I really liked him so much.

[2106] Yeah.

[2107] Do they call it a car hood?

[2108] or a car bonnet in Canada?

[2109] Oh, great question, because they're part of the Commonwealth.

[2110] I know in England they call it a bonnet.

[2111] Yeah.

[2112] But I'm going to say they call it a hood in Canada.

[2113] They do.

[2114] Yeah, car hood is the metal part that covers the engine of an automobile.

[2115] The term car hood is a North American term used primarily in America in Canada.

[2116] Hood comes from the old English word hawed, which means a hood, a soft covering for the head.

[2117] Interestingly, hood is used by British English speakers to refer to the waterproof cloth top covering the passenger compartment of a car.

[2118] That's weird.

[2119] Yeah.

[2120] A car bonnet is the metal part that covers the engine of an automobile.

[2121] The term car bonnet is a British term used primarily in England, Ireland, Scotland, Wales, India, New Zealand, Australia, etc. Mm -hmm.

[2122] Bonnet.

[2123] Bonnet.

[2124] I wonder when you become full -floodging Indian again if you'll start saying bonnet.

[2125] I can't wait To my knowledge The only thing they're doing in India That I would label as a little bit outdated Is shitting in the street Poor people That's poor people Well it's also cultural Do you know there's this whole thing I saw it on 60 Minutes They want to combat that And they build bathrooms and people still prefer to go outside Because it's so Prevalent in society Yeah they want to Baked in Yeah It's like a thing thing they got to have a whole social movement to stop it when i was there i did not well i did not poop in the street okay and then i didn't witness anyone doing that either but there were tons of poor people and i had a bad bladder infection you did really bad interesting oh wow yeah how bad like hospitalized no no it just hurt really bad okay yeah can you get cranberry juice there?

[2126] No, well, maybe, but they were giving me coconut water.

[2127] Oh, I feel like that'd make it worse.

[2128] Although, coconut water before coconut water was hit.

[2129] Look at that.

[2130] They were very ahead of their time with coconut water.

[2131] Well, they're ahead of their time with a treatment, I think, with like Ayurvedic treatment.

[2132] Speaking of my powders.

[2133] Are they Ayurvedic?

[2134] The adaptogens are.

[2135] Oh, they are?

[2136] Yeah.

[2137] Oh, okay.

[2138] Or that's red star.

[2139] Well, that's something, you know, I would have said as complete hooey and then I did the Poncha karma and my joint pain was alleviated considerably.

[2140] So I don't know what to say.

[2141] That's what my dad said the exact same thing.

[2142] When I was home just over the break we were talking about homeopathic stuff and he said yeah he would normally never think that that would ever work and it was a lot of boo hockey but then he said he had some experience where he had to go and then they gave him some crap and it fixed his problem.

[2143] Some bark off of some tree?

[2144] Yeah.

[2145] I want to know his problem, but we'll get to that off the air.

[2146] I'll tell you off air, yeah.

[2147] I hope it was in his groin.

[2148] It wasn't.

[2149] Oh, okay.

[2150] Lumber.

[2151] Oh, you couldn't recall the movie you can't handle the truth quote is from.

[2152] Can you now?

[2153] Yeah, a few good men.

[2154] Yeah.

[2155] That's it.

[2156] Well, and let's also, I want to say one thing.

[2157] It was not appropriate to do in front of the live audience, but had we been in here, I would have done this.

[2158] and I feel obligated to do this.

[2159] As he tells that story, I bring up him getting arrested.

[2160] Yeah.

[2161] And he told it at the very end of the show, so it wasn't really, we were wrapping things up, so I didn't want to get into another thing.

[2162] And then also it would have been a bit of a downer in front of the live audience.

[2163] But at any rate, I did want to mention that story that I'm laughing at and that he's kind of laughing his way through about getting arrested after some white guy beat him up.

[2164] Yeah, yeah.

[2165] You know, it was very profound.

[2166] Yes.

[2167] I don't want to skate past that.

[2168] That's the kind of thing that can happen to him that just can't happen to me. Exactly, yeah.

[2169] And to hear, yeah, like a successful comedian like him dealing with that.

[2170] I know.

[2171] You know, it's kind of telling.

[2172] Enlightening, yeah.

[2173] I don't really think it's funny.

[2174] I thought his story was funny because it was preposterous.

[2175] He also was a great storyteller, so it was a fun, quote, story.

[2176] Yeah.

[2177] But it's not a fun story.

[2178] No, the kind of overall implications of that are horrendous in the fact that some fucking asshole could beat his ass and then he gets arrested for it is, it's almost unfathomable that that's what happened.

[2179] It's a testament to how ubiquitous it is, ubiquitous it is, that he doesn't even think to.

[2180] He's not even thinking of it in those terms.

[2181] He's like, oh, yeah, that's life on planet earth for me. Yeah.

[2182] It also requires, like, a strength to be able to let something like that, like go.

[2183] Wash off you.

[2184] Yes.

[2185] I would never be able to do that.

[2186] It would be the first thing you told people when you met them.

[2187] You don't happen to me nine years ago?

[2188] It would be so all -encompassing always.

[2189] Yeah.

[2190] He's kind of like proof that you have the power over how much you're going to let things affect you, I guess.

[2191] I guess.

[2192] But also that no one should ever be.

[2193] Which is not to say you're going to surrender to it or not be vocal about it, but you can do all things.

[2194] You can not let it affect you and you can be vocal in changing.

[2195] aging it.

[2196] Oof.

[2197] Yeah.

[2198] But that was a bummer of a story, really, in retrospect.

[2199] Yeah.

[2200] All right.

[2201] Well, I love you.

[2202] I love you.

[2203] I hope you feel better.

[2204] Thanks.

[2205] You're not going to get fired.

[2206] Okay.

[2207] I'll report back.

[2208] Yeah.

[2209] We'll be giving a good report here soon.

[2210] Okay.

[2211] Good night.

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