My Favorite Murder with Karen Kilgariff and Georgia Hardstark XX
[0] This is exactly right.
[1] Hey, this is exciting.
[2] An all -new season of only murders in the building is coming to Hulu on August 27th.
[3] Steve Martin, Martin Short, and Selena Gomez are back as your favorite podcaster, detectives.
[4] But there's a mystery hanging over everyone.
[5] Who killed Saz?
[6] And were they really after Charles?
[7] Why would someone want to kill Charles?
[8] This season, murder hits close to home.
[9] With a threat against one of their own, the stakes are higher than ever.
[10] Plus, the gang is going to Hollywood to turn their podcast into a major movie.
[11] Amid the glitz and glamour of Los Angeles, more mysteries and twists arise.
[12] Who knows what will happen once the cameras start to roll?
[13] Get ready for the stariest season yet with Merrill Streep, Zach Alfinacus, Eugene Levy, Eva Longoria, Melissa McCarthy, DeVine, Joy Randolph, Molly Shannon, and more.
[14] Only murders in the building, premieres August 27th, streaming only on Hulu.
[15] Goodbye.
[16] Hello.
[17] And welcome to my favorite murder.
[18] The mini -sowed.
[19] This is the mini version of the episode.
[20] episode.
[21] And hence the name, Mining So.
[22] Do you get it yet?
[23] This is, uh, it's kind of like a cipher where it's parts of words match with other parts of words and you are the one that has to put all the context clues together and figure out what we're talking about.
[24] When you figure it out, tweet at us.
[25] Tweet at us.
[26] Minisode solved.
[27] Hashtag brilliance.
[28] You guys are so smart.
[29] That's the whole hashtag.
[30] And if you leave one letter out, you're off the thread.
[31] What's happening?
[32] I don't know.
[33] You want to go first?
[34] You go first this time.
[35] Okay, we're going to read you your shit.
[36] Ready, here we go.
[37] Ready, go.
[38] How Police Finds Bodies that have gone missing in the water, and it creates young murderinos.
[39] Okay.
[40] Hi, MFM People and Animals.
[41] I have written in previously about a few hometowns, but recently I had this holy shit recovered memory moment that may have just been my murderino origin story.
[42] I grew up on the beach and an extremely tall.
[43] Nope.
[44] Extremely small.
[45] Oh, small town.
[46] It wasn't tall.
[47] It was short.
[48] I want to live in a tall town.
[49] It's, it's a area -wise.
[50] It's not big.
[51] Yeah, yeah.
[52] But it goes straight up, 25 floors.
[53] And that's all the way in the ceiling.
[54] Okay.
[55] So extremely small, college town and Rhode Island.
[56] Most homes were just summer houses and college students would rent them for the winter months.
[57] Cool.
[58] Yeah.
[59] There is this tiny, unassuming beach at the end of my street that people would just leave their little dinghies pushed up onto the sand.
[60] Here.
[61] Then she says, I have the beach cord and it's tattooed on me. Let's see if I were.
[62] regret that in 10 years.
[63] You will.
[64] That's cute.
[65] I don't think you will.
[66] Where is it on your neck?
[67] Then yes.
[68] Then yes.
[69] So basically anyone could grab a dinghy and pull it into the water if they really wanted, but we have like basically no crime other than college parties, so no one really cared.
[70] Anyway, one February night, five drunk college students decided to take out a dingy in the middle of the night.
[71] No. Well, this is New England.
[72] The water is 37 degrees in February.
[73] Also drunk driving rules apply in the water as well.
[74] Oh, good to know.
[75] I didn't know that.
[76] Very tragically, all five students fell out of the boat and drowned in the water.
[77] No. But only two of the bodies were recovered.
[78] So fast forward to the spring and I was like 11 years old walking down the beach and saw a rock question mark that was shaped strangely like a femur and also one that was curved like a skull bone question mark.
[79] Naturally I picked them up and they were very much not rocks.
[80] I literally ran up the street to get my mom to be like, holy fuck, just found one of the bodies.
[81] And she was like, let's go fucking look.
[82] she came down and looked and was like we have to call the police because you found a body the police came and collected the specimen and brought it to the station a few days later we get a call from the station that was like what you found was not a body but pieces of a dump me that the forensic team throw in the water to see where the currents would take the body so please tell your daughter to stop telling people she found one of the bodies and then it said small town remember yes oh no but actually as I write this it seems like they were they may have been telling me slash my mom this to stop us from excitedly sharing our story all over town.
[83] I believe this is the exact moment I became obsessed with true crime.
[84] Anyway, you ladies are amazing.
[85] Also, Georgia, always lock your car doors when you get into the car.
[86] I got a story about that one too.
[87] When two grown men tried to get in my car late at night, not once but twice after I got in and started the car.
[88] Stay sexy and always look out for bodies on the beach, Caitlin.
[89] Sounds like to me like Caitlin, you're giving Georgia advice about locking the door.
[90] because you didn't lock it twice.
[91] Wow.
[92] Well, remember I had the whole issue with my new car and I couldn't figure out how to lock the doors.
[93] Yes.
[94] Yeah.
[95] I get it.
[96] Okay.
[97] She's like, this is a hard earned wisdom I have about locking the door.
[98] The subject line of this one is 80s moms, don't give a fuck.
[99] Hi, all.
[100] I heard you were calling for some, quote, accidental kid injuries and I thought you would appreciate the very 80s approach that my mom had to one of my childhood mishaps.
[101] I was about eight years old.
[102] and I was, for reasons I can't remember, standing on a chair, and I had one of those small American flags in my mouth.
[103] No!
[104] No!
[105] Why?
[106] Why and why?
[107] When I read it to myself, it was funny, but reading it out loud, it's just, it's the beginning of every terrible anything.
[108] Oh, my God.
[109] I can't remember why I put an American flag in my mouth.
[110] Of course not.
[111] I'm sitting on a chair at the same time.
[112] That's like the definition of being a child.
[113] Totally.
[114] I was trying to make a mom.
[115] of like a mosaic of American flags.
[116] I'm pretty sure I was trying to tape it to the ceiling.
[117] Who knows?
[118] Kids are weird.
[119] Anyway, I fell off the chair and when I did, the flag went into my throat.
[120] Oh, my God.
[121] Oh, my God.
[122] You could have died.
[123] Sorry.
[124] It's just...
[125] An important part of the story is that I had a somewhat freakish tolerance for pain as a kid.
[126] So it wasn't that this was causing me a ton of pain.
[127] So I might have ignored it.
[128] But when I pulled the flag out, there was some blood on it.
[129] Oh, God.
[130] The line we always got as kids was, don't bother me unless you're bleeding.
[131] So I figured that I should probably tell someone.
[132] I went to talk to my mom, who was sitting at our kitchen table talking to friends, drinking, playing cards, and of course, smoking.
[133] It's just like my entire childhood.
[134] Ah, the 80s.
[135] Anyway, I went to tell her what happened, and she shushed me because she was in the middle of a conversation.
[136] I said, but mom, and she yelled at me that I should not interrupt a. adults.
[137] She went on to finish whatever conversation she was having and, of course, taking longer than normal so that she could teach me a lesson.
[138] Finally, when she was done, she told me I could ask her what I wanted to.
[139] I opened my mouth, which was now full of blood.
[140] Yes, that's like what you always want, right?
[141] Like, with you and the lighting and the bed on fire?
[142] Yes.
[143] I fucking told you this is important.
[144] I fucking told you.
[145] Listen to me. You should listen to kids, not your stupid drunk friends.
[146] Now, I'm not, I haven't read the rest of this, but I will say that if this was me, I would not have opened my mouth entirely.
[147] I would have just sat there staring and let the blood come out on its own.
[148] Just to freak your mom out as much as possible.
[149] Little Loss & Perry, Dramatics at all time.
[150] Okay, it was now full of blood.
[151] It turns out that the dowel from the flag had gone through my tonsils.
[152] Oh, God.
[153] Yep.
[154] So, as I was telling her what happened, blood was literally streaming down my face.
[155] Of course, in typical 80s mom fashion, she said, why didn't you tell me sooner?
[156] Oh, my.
[157] in all, it turned out not to be a big deal, apparently, and it healed just fine.
[158] I still like to bring this up from time to time just to poke my mom, just to poke the mom guilt.
[159] I have kids of my own now, and the rub dirt in it and walk it off attitude lives on to this day.
[160] Stay sexy and don't ignore your kids while they are bleeding from the mouth or do.
[161] It builds character, Jen.
[162] Oh my God.
[163] Isn't it any wonder we're all so fucked up?
[164] For real.
[165] Truly.
[166] We, I just did, um, the Sclar Brothers Dumb People Town and Dan.
[167] Van Kirk's podcast on People Town and they were doing a it was a 2018 roundup of all the things that were found in people's different orifices at emergency rooms and I had a recovered memory while we were talking about it where I'm like oh yeah I went to the I stuck a piece of like foam from like foam rubber basically yeah up one of my nostrils and then left it there no when I was like four and then I just had like after a couple days I just had green like bright green snot running out of my nose and when my mom took me to the doctor or the emergency or whatever thinking I had some bizarre infection or whatever they just put tweezers up there and just pull out this long piece I mean endless kids are so gross they're we're gross and our kids are gross but then they're also like the child logic where it's like I'm standing on a chair I've got an American flag on my mouth and I've got a bunch of important things to do I'm just going to put this up here and leave it there yeah let's just see what happens yeah Why can't we just improv this?
[168] It's science.
[169] This is a science experiment.
[170] I'm a petri dish.
[171] You don't get me. Okay, this one's called Another Killer Dentist Story.
[172] Yes.
[173] Hello, Murder Queen's Furry Friends and Stephen.
[174] Do you hate that whole thing?
[175] No, I like it.
[176] Okay.
[177] I was listening to a minisode where someone's mom almost dated a killer dentist and it reminded me vaguely of my hometown killer dentist story.
[178] My first dentist when I was a child was Bart Corbin, based out of Hamilton Mill, Georgia.
[179] It's really confusing when you see your own name.
[180] Based out of Hamilton Mill, Georgia.
[181] Anne Ruhl totally wrote a book about it, and I reviewed it for my seventh grade book project.
[182] Nice.
[183] Very cool.
[184] Also, he always seemed like a little odd, but the man knew how to clean teeth and do root canals, so we didn't think anything of it.
[185] My aunt used to play tennis with his wife's sister, and they seem like a normal family.
[186] Husband, wife, two sons, white picket fence.
[187] This, though, was not the case because in December of 2004, their oldest son, who was really young at the time, ran to the neighbor's house and told them that someone had shot his mom.
[188] When police arrived at the scene, Corbyn's wife, Jen, was found with a gunshot wound of the head, suicide -esque.
[189] It was quickly determined that it was a homicide framed as a suicide.
[190] The giveaway was that the hand holding the gun was neatly tucked under the covers.
[191] Oh.
[192] Yeah.
[193] It came out that their relationship had gone south.
[194] She had met someone online and he was having an affair with his secretary.
[195] She was in the process of serving him divorce papers and he lost it and killed her.
[196] Oh, my God.
[197] It came out later that he had done the same thing to his ex -girlfriend he had in dentistry school, Dolly.
[198] She broke things off.
[199] He put sugar in her gas tank, stole her cat, and destroyed her final project before finally shooting her in the head and framing it as a suicide in the same way.
[200] I feel like this has been a forensic files.
[201] I'm sure it has.
[202] The name Dolly is the first girlfriend.
[203] Yeah.
[204] It's storing some memories.
[205] The only reason he didn't get caught that time was because a rookie cop responded to the scene and picked the gun out of her hand after seeing the shot through the head.
[206] Yeah.
[207] Needless to say, he was arrested for his wife's murder and was no longer my dentist.
[208] But he was arrested for his wife's murder, so I began to travel to the prison to get my teeth down there.
[209] What else was I going to do?
[210] My dad was in the middle of a root canal and had to find a new dentist ASAP.
[211] He loved the new guy we went to and told my mom we should start going there since our old dentist was a murderer.
[212] A week later, the new dentist was on the news for child molestation.
[213] No. I know a dentist who has never been convicted of anything, thankfully.
[214] Love the show and all you do, Mads from Georgia.
[215] Oh, Mads.
[216] Dude.
[217] Don't let your dad pick Dunstice anymore.
[218] It's hard enough to go to the dentist plane.
[219] Yeah.
[220] Without all those threats and weirdnesses.
[221] Hey, this is exciting.
[222] An all new season of only murders in the building is coming to Hulu on August 27th.
[223] Steve Martin, Martin Short, and Selena Gomez are back as your favorite But there's a mystery hanging over everyone.
[224] Who killed Saz?
[225] And were they really after Charles?
[226] Why would someone want to kill Charles?
[227] This season, murder hits close to home.
[228] With a threat against one of their own, the stakes are higher than ever.
[229] Plus, the gang is going to Hollywood to turn their podcast into a major movie.
[230] Amid the glitz and glamour of Los Angeles, more mysteries and twists arise.
[231] Who knows what will happen once the cameras start to roll?
[232] Get ready for the stariest season yet with Merrill Streep, Zach Alfinacus, Eugene Levy, Eva Longoria, Melissa McCarthy, Devine, Joy Randolph, Molly Shannon, and more.
[233] Only Martyrs in the Building, premieres August 27th, streaming only on Hulu.
[234] Goodbye.
[235] Karen, you know I'm all about vintage shopping.
[236] Absolutely.
[237] And when you say vintage, you mean when you physically drive to a store and actually purchase something with cash?
[238] Exactly.
[239] And if you're a small business owner, you might know Shopify is great for online sales.
[240] But did you know that they also power in -person sales?
[241] That's right.
[242] Shopify is the sound of selling everywhere, online, in store, on social media, and beyond.
[243] Give your point of sale system a serious upgrade with Shopify.
[244] From accepting payments to managing inventory, they have everything you need to sell in person.
[245] So give your point of sale system a serious upgrade with Shopify.
[246] Their sleek, reliable POS hardware takes every major payment method and looks fabulous at the same time.
[247] With Shopify, we have a powerful partner for managing our sales, and if you're a business owner, you can't too.
[248] Customers in line and online, do retail right with Shopify.
[249] Sign up for a $1 per month trial period at Shopify .com slash murder.
[250] Important note, that promo code is all lowercase.
[251] Go to Shopify .com slash murder to take your retail business to the next level today.
[252] That's Shopify .com slash murder.
[253] Goodbye.
[254] Okay, the subject line of this one is Grandpa stops a robbery with some unlikely help.
[255] All right.
[256] Great.
[257] Page two.
[258] So up, Karen and Georgia and Stephen.
[259] Hi.
[260] My dad and I were on a road trip.
[261] we swung by a little house he grew up in with his seven brothers and sisters his mom and his dad who uh was the only police officer in town yeah their house was also the police station oh my god where is this new zealand okay um that suddenly makes total sense right seriously the front two rooms were the police for police business and the family kept the bedrooms to live in and i think they shared the kitchen oh my god it's amazing when i asked my dad what the hell they did when they needed to lock somebody up.
[262] He said, there was a shed in the garden.
[263] I don't know if he was joking.
[264] It's so good.
[265] Can you imagine growing up at a police station?
[266] I asked dad what it was like for grandpa to be the one and only cop in town.
[267] And he said he needed to improvise sometimes.
[268] Then he told me this story.
[269] Late one night, Grandpa spotted men with flashlights inside the TV and appliance repair shop, obviously robbing the place.
[270] Back up from New Plymouth would take over an hour to get there.
[271] Grandpa didn't want to wait.
[272] because, of course, he knew the people who owned the repair shop and he couldn't just watch while robbers ruined their business.
[273] That's when he saw the lights in the local rugby club were on.
[274] I like to imagine that he now said, fuck protocol before he took off running for the club.
[275] He burst into the room of drinking rugby players.
[276] Oh, my God.
[277] And asked if anyone would like to help him catch some bad guys.
[278] They were into it.
[279] The town didn't have streetlights back then, so grandpa had to shepherd the rugby players through the pitched arc, desperately trying to keep them quiet.
[280] He positioned them at the front of the shop, then he snuck around back, took a deep breath, and kicked in the back door shouting, freeze police.
[281] The robbers dropped what they were holding and bolted out the front door right into about a dozen drunk, enthusiastic rugby players.
[282] Amazing.
[283] As my dad said, quote, they weren't cops, so they didn't have to hold anything back.
[284] Holy shit.
[285] I feel sorry for the robbers.
[286] They had not signed up for anything like what happened to them.
[287] And it was dark, so they literally didn't know what hit them.
[288] Oh, my God.
[289] They were scraped off the pavement and sent to New Plymouth for processing, and the rugby guys would talk about nothing else for days.
[290] I think we all dream that one day we'll get to help take down a criminal.
[291] Hopefully, we'll be sober and not one of the 12 other huge -ass men when it happens.
[292] Stay sexy and help out your local cop, Lorraine.
[293] That is a perfect story.
[294] Isn't that, I mean, you can just see it all happening.
[295] And as soon as you said rugby players, I'm like, oh, so fun.
[296] And drunk ones, too, the best kind.
[297] Are there any other kind?
[298] Are there any other kind?
[299] Yeah.
[300] A. B, how good are they at tackling?
[301] And punching.
[302] Punching and tackling.
[303] Yes.
[304] It's what they do.
[305] And it's like, you can't get by them.
[306] That's their whole job.
[307] No. It's to keep you from getting by them.
[308] That's a brilliant story.
[309] God bless Lorraine.
[310] Okay, this is my last one.
[311] Attacked in a bathroom.
[312] Aloha from.
[313] a Maui murderino.
[314] I love stories of beating this shit out of awful men, so here's mine.
[315] Well, at a bar with a couple sorority sisters, we went to the bathroom together as a team because the world we live in makes us feel safer in numbers.
[316] But the line for the women's room was too long, and this is fucking, this is me in my 20s.
[317] So I dragged my two sisters with me to the men's room since no one's ever in there, said an overly confident drunk girl voice.
[318] We went to use the stalls, and I heard a woman crying in the larger and furthest stall.
[319] Still in my unshy mode, I looked over to see a man towering over her with his pants down and her sobbing in obvious distress.
[320] Without thinking another second, I leaped over the stall and attacked him from behind.
[321] Wow.
[322] Because it was the handicapped stall, he smacked his face on the handlebar and lost a tooth.
[323] Yes.
[324] I yelled at my girlfriends to take the unknown woman aside for safety while gripping my tiny arm around this guy's neck.
[325] The male bouncers came in and told me to get off him.
[326] but in sheer defense mode I told him I wouldn't get off of him until quote the fucking cops come and peel me off love it drunk I managed to keep my knee on the back of his neck and twist his arm while his face was on the floor she must have taken a self -defense class because how do you know to do that shit sometimes you know that you're the muse it just like comes through you're a vessel of violence you're vessel of long island iced tea and and like a bunch of procedural shows that you've watched other people beat people up and take them down.
[327] That's right.
[328] From what I remember that night, I got lots of horrified stares at the bump on my forehead, which I think she meant she fell and hit her head.
[329] Maybe not.
[330] The bump of my forehead, blood on my sweater, lots of free whiskey and a new, thankfully, short -lived cigarette addiction, probably because shit was intense and I needed to take the edge off.
[331] Drunk cigarettes, man. I mean, is there anything better.
[332] I bet you that's how they were invented and why they were invented initially.
[333] Drunk people or cigarettes.
[334] Either one.
[335] Interchangeable.
[336] My therapist tells me this came out of the rage I couldn't express in past abusive relationships, which totally makes sense.
[337] The bright side of the story was that the woman he was victimizing became great friends with my sisters and I, braved her attacker in court, told her story to the men and women on campus, and went on to become a lawyer specializing in domestic violence advocacy.
[338] Yes.
[339] College sexual misconduct cases are underreported and brave people like her are sometimes the encouragement survivors need to share their story and or heal.
[340] For any of you who need to hear this, I believe you.
[341] A lot of other murderinas do, too.
[342] Stay sexy and strong, M. Yes.
[343] How beautiful.
[344] Good job, M. Good job.
[345] Beautifully written.
[346] So true.
[347] So true.
[348] All around.
[349] Yeah.
[350] Yeah.
[351] Die of over that fucking.
[352] Fuck, yes.
[353] Also, if you're in a poe, place like that, yeah.
[354] Your risk, look, yeah, you're going to get a bump on the forehead.
[355] Yeah.
[356] You might lose a tooth.
[357] Sure.
[358] You could break a bone.
[359] But there will be bouncers there within minutes.
[360] Yeah.
[361] You could even get in trouble.
[362] Yeah.
[363] Get it.
[364] Scrap it up.
[365] That's right, ladies.
[366] We only have each other.
[367] We need to come to each other's aid whenever we can.
[368] That's right.
[369] It's your right.
[370] Yeah.
[371] Okay.
[372] I'm not going to read you the subject line of this one because it'll give it away.
[373] Okay.
[374] Hey, Elvis, assorted other animals, humans and Stephen's mustache.
[375] I think actually that's redundant and Stephen's mustache is assorted other animals.
[376] But I'm not going to start criticizing right away.
[377] I don't know why I've hung on to this story for so long.
[378] But since I'm recovering from pneumonia this week, I guess I've got time.
[379] Anyway, about 35 years ago, I went to the Oakland Zoo with my parents, who probably had no business being parents, to be honest.
[380] I was only five or six, so I don't remember anything about this trip except this.
[381] The zoo had a baby hippo named Mugs because he was sponsored.
[382] No. What?
[383] Sorry.
[384] Because he was sponsored by Mug Rupier.
[385] Oh, my God.
[386] That's the cutest thing I've ever heard.
[387] Why did they name him Rupier?
[388] It's like, it's the most uncreative thing.
[389] You're just like, mugs?
[390] Mugs for mug root beer.
[391] Okay.
[392] Luckily, it wasn't named A &W, because that would have been confusing, hard for the children.
[393] All right.
[394] Oh, parentheses.
[395] I would love if anybody could confirm that they had a baby hippo named mugs, but I swear I'm not making this up.
[396] Okay, close parentheses.
[397] Instagram comments.
[398] Yeah.
[399] Someone will answer that for you.
[400] Somebody might even have pictures.
[401] That's right.
[402] Because that's what I was looking at before we started.
[403] I was trying to make sure there's the Oakland Zoo, but then there's also a place in Oakland called Children's Fairyland that is, I think, 60 years old.
[404] Wow.
[405] And I couldn't remember if those two things were connected because I don't think I've ever been to the Oakland Zoo, but we went to Children's Fairyland many times.
[406] That sounds so fun.
[407] It is the best fucking place.
[408] My sister recently went there with her class and sent me pictures and all the stuff's the same because it's not brand.
[409] So it's just like there's one thing where there's a whale's mouth open and then you walk into the whale's mouth to get to one of the, like, to the show area or whatever.
[410] I don't, I don't remember.
[411] I'm into it.
[412] Okay.
[413] Um, um, um, um, and there's a water fountain that you stick your head into a hippo's mouth to drink water.
[414] That's so cute.
[415] And that's what made me think of it.
[416] Maybe his name is mugs.
[417] Maybe there's root beer.
[418] It's roopier.
[419] It's a roopier fountain.
[420] That'd be amazing of all water fountains at like children's, um, places like that were just, high fructose corn syrup.
[421] It's just a bunch of tang coming out of a hippopotamus his mouth.
[422] Anyway, of course there were signs that said something like, do not put arms and legs over the railing of the hippo pen.
[423] So, of course, what does my dad do?
[424] But put me right on the railing with my legs dangling over.
[425] I guess nobody knew how dangerous hippos were back then.
[426] They absolutely didn't.
[427] No. Are they super dangerous?
[428] They are super dangerous.
[429] They're the number one killer of tourists in Africa or in the Congo or something.
[430] Yeah.
[431] people go to look at, like, animals, you know, in the wild in Africa, they kill tourists the most because people think they're friendly and cute and ballerinas, but they're not.
[432] Wait, they're not ballerinas?
[433] I'm sorry.
[434] But, yeah, you've been introduced to many a cartoon hippo by thinking that it's a big female hippo that also wants to be a ballerina.
[435] Isn't that funny and great?
[436] No. It's not real.
[437] George, I'm sorry.
[438] Wait, listen, because this will make you happy.
[439] Okay.
[440] well mugs being curious and probably hungry came right up to me and swallowed me up to my waist oh oh dear i began screaming my mom began screaming at my dad and my dad started pounding on mugs's snout i distinctly remember being covered in hippo slobber and the feel of the hippo's teeth clamping down on my legs everybody is losing their shit now and it seemed like forever but it was probably only a few seconds But mugs, who was probably confused as fuck, finally let go of me. I guess I didn't taste too good.
[441] The even crazier part was there were no zookeepers around.
[442] Oh my God.
[443] At least none that I can remember.
[444] Totally traumatizing to kid me, but pretty funny now.
[445] Anyway, I love you all at MFM.
[446] Thanks so much for the show.
[447] Stay sexy and don't get eaten by a baby hippo, James from Oakland.
[448] That's bananas.
[449] Like, what if it had been a full -grown hippo?
[450] I know.
[451] What if it had been...
[452] I was trying to think of a funny thing instead of mug, like a pint glass.
[453] Forget it.
[454] A liter bottle?
[455] Yeah.
[456] No, it's...
[457] I mean, if it was a full -grown hippo, that little kid would have been gone, I think.
[458] Oh, my God.
[459] Isn't that poor hippos?
[460] Like, what are you doing?
[461] You just dangled food into my cage.
[462] Yeah, you basically gave me two steaks with some shoes on them.
[463] You handed me a snack.
[464] What am I supposed to go down to do?
[465] Now you're hating me about it?
[466] You know what?
[467] I'm not doing ballet anymore.
[468] I quit.
[469] I quit.
[470] Goodbye.
[471] of the neckcracker this year.
[472] That's right.
[473] You can find another fucking hippo.
[474] Good luck.
[475] Dance your goddamn dance for you.
[476] I don't get to eat a five -year -old if I feel like it.
[477] Wow, those were, what a great batch.
[478] Those were a great batch.
[479] Send your great batch to my favorite murder at Gmail.
[480] Oh, and also you can go now on our new, brand new pretty sparkly website and just submit there somewhere.
[481] Yes, that's right.
[482] You can go directly at www.
[483] my favorite murder .com slash gov. Thanks for listening and sending in your stuff.
[484] And stay sexy.
[485] And don't get murdered.
[486] Goodbye.
[487] Elvis, you want a cookie?