Tig Notaro

[0] Welcome, welcome, welcome to armchair expert.

[1] I'm Dan Rather, and I'm joined by the birthday girl, Monica Pladman.

[2] Hello.

[3] Hi, happy birthday.

[4] Old lady here.

[5] An old gal.

[6] An old faithful.

[7] Yeah.

[8] Old trusty.

[9] Start talking about you like you're a horse.

[10] Old, old gal, don't they call them old gal.

[11] This old gal has seen a lot of miles.

[12] Yeah.

[13] Oh, geez.

[14] I've seen every darn valley.

[15] plateau on the back of this old gal.

[16] Oh, gee.

[17] Okay.

[18] Well, it's getting told.

[19] That's okay.

[20] We have a wonderful comedian on today.

[21] TIG Nataro.

[22] She's not just a comedian.

[23] She's also a podcaster.

[24] A writer and an actor.

[25] She's been in the podcast game much longer than us.

[26] She's a veteran.

[27] Talk about a sweet old gal.

[28] I mean, she's not.

[29] You can only say that about me. You're right.

[30] What a young, fresh face.

[31] So she has a new podcast out now called Handsome Podcasts with Fortune Feemster.

[32] and Mae Martin.

[33] What a title, handsome podcast, and it's terrific.

[34] Also, if you would like to see her do stand up, she's taping a new special at the King's Theater in Brooklyn on November 4th.

[35] You can go get tickets at tignotaro .com.

[36] Please enjoy Tig.

[37] Wondry Plus subscribers can listen to armchair expert early and ad free right now.

[38] Join Wondry Plus in the Wondry app or on Apple Podcasts.

[39] Or you can listen for free wherever you get your podcasts I just take those to the ceiling I just take those to the ceiling I picked up a trash bag on the way oh God oh God you scared the hell out of me because I was expecting her face and then your face and you had a different version as well well of her thing.

[40] So it was kind of like a third.

[41] This face comes at a price.

[42] Honestly, I wouldn't have noticed.

[43] I honestly wouldn't have.

[44] I'm somebody, I used to work at a coffee shop almost 30 years ago.

[45] My everyday barista had green hair one day.

[46] I didn't even clock it.

[47] I filter things very differently.

[48] I'm just like, okay, there's hair on the head.

[49] Everything's fine.

[50] But I notice other things so much.

[51] I can detect a change in the emotional current quite well.

[52] Emotional stuff.

[53] you got a new jacket I don't know if that's new or not I didn't notice that is quite comical from my perspective and I know Monica's too where I'd be like can you grab something out of my purse now I've carried the same purse for probably eight or nine months every place I go it's always on my body and he's like what does it look like we have like 19 bags I do but I have carried one for the last nine months I'm like it can't be that you haven't noticed this thing that's attached to my chest for nine months I'm glad we're clearing it up now I don't know what is the purse and what's the purse.

[54] So you're also carrying, you have three different bags that you carry everywhere and you rotate between.

[55] Those to me. Yeah, diaper bags.

[56] You're all stuff too.

[57] You can own.

[58] You have a lot of your own items.

[59] Sure, sometimes.

[60] You have like so many bags.

[61] This could be a coin purse.

[62] This could be.

[63] So we need to define purse.

[64] This could be a fanny pack.

[65] This big thing.

[66] There you're right.

[67] That's a purse.

[68] It's got everything.

[69] Could be a pacemaker.

[70] Yeah, could be a pacemaker.

[71] Old -fashioned.

[72] He doesn't know.

[73] Heart defibrillator.

[74] Especially if it's coins are jingling around.

[75] That's true.

[76] He doesn't need to know.

[77] Look at his chair.

[78] No, look at him.

[79] Take a look.

[80] Take it in.

[81] Honestly, I just have to tell you, I thought about this.

[82] I was like, it would be so nice to see Kristen, but I imagine probably everyone that comes over wants to see Kristen.

[83] So I was like, I'm just going to let it go, and I'm just not going to even try to see Kristen.

[84] We only invited her up for the special ones.

[85] I have come up to see two people.

[86] This isn't true.

[87] In the history of the podcast.

[88] That's not true.

[89] I have to fact three people.

[90] Who's the third?

[91] Peter Attia, you and Laura Linney.

[92] That's right.

[93] Okay, well, I'm going to post that on my cat's Instagram.

[94] There have been three people who I've been excited to see.

[95] Well, I'm thrilled to see you.

[96] I also still want to make an appointment for a cold plunge here.

[97] 100%.

[98] In fact, we just changed the filter.

[99] And we realized that we had been using it for the last couple months, thinking we were getting so good at cold plunge.

[100] I had thoughts of, I'm Weinhoff or whatever his name is.

[101] Winhoff, yeah, the Winhoff method.

[102] I'm doing this.

[103] Right.

[104] I could live in the Arctic Ocean if I desired.

[105] That's how good at cold plunging I am.

[106] Cut to, we change the filter, we realize it's definitely been clogged.

[107] The new filter, it's gone down by 20 degrees.

[108] Oh, yeah.

[109] I went in it and I was like, what happened?

[110] I was in it yesterday.

[111] It said 51.

[112] Now I'm in it today.

[113] It says 52.

[114] And it's a completely different experience.

[115] And I can't handle it.

[116] And my bones hurt.

[117] I got out.

[118] I was like, I don't know what the fuck has.

[119] It says the same temperature.

[120] Yeah.

[121] Now this is a big mystery in our life.

[122] My hypothesis is that because now the jet is unclogged and it's circulating the water inside there, you can't create that little bubble around yourself.

[123] That's what kind of happens, at least when we do it in the pools, you get the bubble.

[124] And when the kids would walk by, it's 20 degrees cooler.

[125] You got to turn on your heart light, create the little bubble of warm.

[126] I did a very quick cold plunge.

[127] I had never done a cold plunge.

[128] Kristen had invited me. I don't know if you know this.

[129] Kristen invited me to your house to do a cold plunge.

[130] I did know.

[131] And then I broke my ribs or Allison Janney broke my ribs.

[132] Oh, most specifically.

[133] And I could not cold plunge and had to reschedule and I really want to do a reschedule.

[134] Should we pause right now and get you in the cold plunge and then resume?

[135] Is that what you're suggesting?

[136] No, I'm telling you, I did one for one second, not at your house, though.

[137] We were in Montauk, New York.

[138] Our hotel had a cold plunge tub and a hot tub and a pool.

[139] And I was like, okay, I'm going to do this.

[140] And it was really vulnerable because a bunch of strangers were around and I was going to go submerge into a freezing cold tub.

[141] And I walked in, I got up to my chin and immediately got out.

[142] It was painful.

[143] You need to be prepped.

[144] Yeah.

[145] The prep I got was a strange man that was in the hot tub with me. It was like, go for it.

[146] That was advice.

[147] That seems.

[148] the only thing he's ever said to me in his whole life.

[149] Okay.

[150] Well, that's cool.

[151] If he had to pick a single thing he said to you, that's a good one to say.

[152] Go for it.

[153] And so I went for it.

[154] We would have told you some things to expect that I do think help the experience, which is your body only sends that signal, like get the fuck out of here.

[155] You're going to die for 30 seconds.

[156] For most people, like 20.

[157] So really you just go in knowing, yeah, my body's going to be screaming, get out of this lethal situation.

[158] But after 20 seconds, your body goes, oh, shit.

[159] No, we're staying.

[160] So now we've got to start sending the opposite chemicals to help you deal with this, the fact that you're freezing to death.

[161] If you had known, okay, I got to get in there.

[162] It's going to be miserable, but I'm going to count to 20 seconds.

[163] And then that'll start dissipating and get more enjoyable.

[164] Maybe that would have helped, do you think?

[165] Not that Go For It isn't awesome.

[166] No, it was very helpful.

[167] It got me. I went for it.

[168] And then I got out and I was like, oh, boy, I got into the hot tub and then went and met up with my family.

[169] We're going to offer you a little bit more than a go for it.

[170] We're going to offer dinner.

[171] Some dinner.

[172] Can you get nice and full.

[173] We're going to offer, we'll talk about car service.

[174] But, you know, a hand holding, I'll have a timer, anything you need, a towel that's ready.

[175] Here's what I often do is I'll put the towels in the dryer.

[176] I thought you would say the hot tub.

[177] Real, and then they'd be wet.

[178] But warm.

[179] Yeah.

[180] Warm and wet.

[181] Yeah.

[182] Anytime you want, it's open.

[183] If he had said just do it, Nike, would you have just done it?

[184] Well, I just did it anyway.

[185] Yeah.

[186] So I think you wanted to do it.

[187] matter what he said.

[188] I was going for it.

[189] Okay.

[190] Well, he said, don't do it.

[191] Then even longer made me. Maybe you would have gone 20 seconds.

[192] I've been wanting to do it for so long.

[193] How are you with a sauna?

[194] Have you been in and out of a sauna?

[195] Yeah.

[196] Okay.

[197] And do you enjoy that?

[198] I do.

[199] But I'm also very menopausal and so I'm always in a sauna.

[200] You're already running hot.

[201] Yeah, I'm running hot.

[202] And I always explained to Stephanie, my wife, who's 15 years younger than me. It's as though I am trapped in a sauna with a mask on, fully close.

[203] And I want to get out, and I can't.

[204] We'll be just out to dinner.

[205] I'm like, oh, God, feel my stomach.

[206] I'm always grabbing her hand and running it.

[207] And she's like, gross, I get it.

[208] I know, I can see it.

[209] And I'm like, but you don't understand.

[210] You don't understand.

[211] We got a hit on Stephanie for just two seconds because I know Stephanie.

[212] She told me, yes.

[213] Yes, we did a CBCB.

[214] And we did a commercial together.

[215] Which one?

[216] Amazon.

[217] Very big commercial Super Bowl.

[218] Oh, yeah.

[219] With what's his nuts?

[220] Faises?

[221] Yeah.

[222] But you weren't in frame with him, were you?

[223] Like in a shot?

[224] He was on the opposite side of the camera.

[225] You know how the cameras work?

[226] He was physically with you?

[227] Yeah.

[228] Oh, he was.

[229] Mm -hmm.

[230] Did you chat with him at all?

[231] Quickly.

[232] It was very nice, very built.

[233] I was just going to say was he Jack.

[234] Ding, ding, ding, Peter Atia, I think, got him in shape.

[235] He never said that, but that's what we think happened.

[236] What a metamorphosis.

[237] Anyway, love Stephanie.

[238] Shout out.

[239] I love her, too.

[240] Good.

[241] Good to know.

[242] Join the club, guys.

[243] We're heading into 11.

[244] her as well?

[245] So much.

[246] Oh, and you have personal anecdotes about her?

[247] Well, yeah, because we work together.

[248] We work together, the three of us, and Ryan Hanson, the last year and a half.

[249] Okay, so you had lots of meetings with Stephanie.

[250] Yeah.

[251] Pre -strike.

[252] Pre -pr -strike.

[253] This is in the 70s.

[254] This was a long time ago.

[255] You guys were talking about Bert Reynolds is the lead of the show.

[256] Pre the original strike, actually.

[257] We were getting creative together.

[258] She's a dream boat.

[259] She's so fun and lively, and a very good writer.

[260] She's so talented.

[261] Now, 15 years younger, though.

[262] Yeah, we got to go there.

[263] I'm a little curious if you get frustrated at all that you don't share some of the same references.

[264] Like, I was reading your book.

[265] You were talking about you and your mother's love for television.

[266] Of course, you're listing all these shows, and for me it means the world.

[267] Welcome back, Carter, Sanford and Son, the Jeffersons, all these shows.

[268] Black sitcoms in the 70s.

[269] Yes, we're on fire.

[270] Nothing better.

[271] Is there any sadness that there's some references you guys don't share, that you feel like are foundational to who you are.

[272] And I know you're a comedian, but I want you to answer that sincerely.

[273] Yeah, I am.

[274] Don't take the pen out and start writing.

[275] No, no. I don't reference a lot of TV and film.

[276] I'm more of a music person.

[277] And Stephanie is very well versed in music.

[278] And I'm a 70s kid.

[279] And she feels like the 70s, that was a sweet spot for filmmaking and music.

[280] And so we're kind of on the same page there.

[281] The only thing that she kind of missed, was that sweet spot of the 70s sitcom.

[282] She's a little more, like, I don't even know.

[283] Boy Meets Whirl.

[284] I don't even know.

[285] She's my age -ish, right?

[286] She's, how old is she?

[287] She's 37.

[288] Okay.

[289] So, yeah.

[290] Mary Kate and Ashley.

[291] Virtually the exact same.

[292] Yeah.

[293] I don't even know what she watched, honestly.

[294] Did you ever dip into like Fall Guy, Duke's a Hazard, any of the action, Simon and Simon?

[295] I do think it's relevant because shows and movies got more realistic, which is cool.

[296] We liked it.

[297] But also, there's something about this weird world that existed on TV back then that you aspired to or I thought of as obtainable maybe.

[298] I was also really into things like little animal shows where you're like friends with a porpoise.

[299] B .J. and the Bear.

[300] Yes.

[301] That's a long -haul truck driver with a chimpanzee in his cab.

[302] Yes, it makes total sense.

[303] And I thought that's something I'd like to do when I grew up.

[304] There was a lot of content about truck drivers.

[305] Yeah.

[306] When I was a kid, being a long -haul truck driver seemed like something I was pretty interested in.

[307] And I don't think that Stephanie got that, or did you get that, Monica?

[308] No, but I don't know that that would have.

[309] I never had any dreams of being a long -trucker.

[310] Nope.

[311] Really?

[312] No, yeah.

[313] Looked me in the eye and tell me you were not dreaming of being a long -haul trucker.

[314] What was it going to the bathroom behind the wheel?

[315] Why didn't it appeal to you?

[316] You're out there adventuring?

[317] You could go to the bathroom in front of the wheel.

[318] You're a long haul trucker.

[319] But you know, you're by yourself the whole time.

[320] No, you're with a chimp.

[321] Well, hold on.

[322] And you got a CB.

[323] Honk, honk.

[324] And the air horn, yeah.

[325] Okay.

[326] You're making it more appealing.

[327] Yeah, don't they do honk honk honks?

[328] Yeah, but it's honk honk.

[329] And you can also be like, honk honk if you feel like.

[330] Well, if I must bring out my famous horn, that's not the sound of it.

[331] See, I'm not right for it.

[332] I'm going to let you guys talk, but I love you.

[333] I really, really am so happy to see you.

[334] I'm glad you came up here.

[335] And we're going to do it.

[336] For real, we're going to do it.

[337] What?

[338] Anything you want.

[339] The cycle.

[340] That's what I wanted to hear.

[341] Right.

[342] Anything's on the table.

[343] I love you.

[344] Bye.

[345] How awesome that you're married to Kristen Bell.

[346] Yeah, it's worked out pretty good.

[347] Yeah.

[348] Going on 17 years, I think.

[349] Wow.

[350] It's a good gig he's got.

[351] It's good work if you can find it.

[352] I've had its ups and downs.

[353] Of course.

[354] I'm married to her too in some ways.

[355] Uh -huh.

[356] Are you married?

[357] No. Because Stephanie and I always say, well, I told her one time.

[358] I said, I am crazy about you, but one percent of the time.

[359] Tell me what happens in that one percent.

[360] I cannot think of a worst person alive on this planet.

[361] Thank you for saying that.

[362] It is bottom rung, terrible.

[363] I cannot stand you.

[364] And then she said, yeah, same.

[365] But don't you think that 1 % is the time where this person embodies everything that's standing in my way of doing what?

[366] I want to do.

[367] It's actually not about them as much as like they're this huge roadblock for me to do whatever the thing is I want to be doing in this moment.

[368] Yeah.

[369] And they're not going to allow that.

[370] You got to always check in.

[371] And there's so many little things, especially being a comedian.

[372] I mean, I used to not ever have to run anything by anybody.

[373] I just said and did whatever I wanted.

[374] And I had girlfriends or I was single.

[375] And I've got a spouse.

[376] And I'm not complaining about it.

[377] It's just a shift of where she might say, I don't know about that.

[378] And is it generally, is something that you're telling about her personal story that you're going to say on stage, or is it being protective of you overall?

[379] Our family, our kids, her, the two of us.

[380] And it's something I actually appreciate and am thankful for because I like that I've reeled it in a little bit.

[381] It's hard to know, right?

[382] So the best model of what I'm attempting to do for the last six years is Howard Stern.

[383] So one of the things I just happened to kind of notice was, oh, he never talks about his daughters.

[384] And he's even said that his daughters said, hey, don't talk about me on this radio show.

[385] So I thought, okay, that's something to think about.

[386] But of course I talk about my daughters.

[387] They're kids.

[388] It's all I do is deal with kids stuff.

[389] And then I'm like, well, what age am I going to stop talking about?

[390] But there's no real roadmap for us to know what that line is because so much of your stand -up is autobiographical.

[391] Cool.

[392] Yeah.

[393] And there's really fun shows that I'll do where Stephanie will be in the audience, in the back row, and I'll tell a new story.

[394] And then I'll say, Stephanie, is that how you recall it happening?

[395] And in the darkness, she'll be like, not exactly.

[396] And then I'll invite her to share what her version of what happened was.

[397] And so that's been fun.

[398] And we've joked.

[399] about how it would maybe even be a fun stand -up special.

[400] Yeah, she said, she said.

[401] That's what she said.

[402] She said, yeah, it should be called She Said, She Said.

[403] Yeah.

[404] How old were you when you guys got together?

[405] Because I have a new theory.

[406] I'm about to be 36.

[407] And I feel like as I'm getting older, it is getting less and less likely that I will get married.

[408] And not because, like, oh, there's not people.

[409] Because I'm feeling more and more happy.

[410] in your habits.

[411] Yeah, I'm just like happy on my own, getting more and more so.

[412] So you did want to get married.

[413] Yeah, for sure.

[414] And now you're like, maybe.

[415] I'm just aware when I'm in bed by myself that that feels nice, that I would be giving something up.

[416] Maybe.

[417] And then you could meet a Stephanie or Kristen or Dax or whatever and be like, oh, I actually, I'm not saying that you need to have a partner to be happy, but I'm saying if you find that right one, because I, for sure, had no interest.

[418] I was the worst gay person because I was like, why does everyone want gay marriage?

[419] Who cares about that?

[420] You know?

[421] Was it fair to say you were a commitment phob?

[422] Because I have some theories on why you might be.

[423] I did have a fear.

[424] I thought that I wouldn't be able to do what I wanted to do.

[425] Can I suggest?

[426] Yeah.

[427] And this is where we get into this weird zone where people write an autobiography.

[428] They feel very safe in those moments talking about it while they're writing in a room.

[429] And then they're hearing this attic with electricity hanging out of the wall.

[430] The context change.

[431] Kristen Bell running around the property.

[432] Popping in and out.

[433] Just fresh off a facial.

[434] Just feral off the land.

[435] Red -faced.

[436] A lot of our childhood is kind of similar.

[437] So three years old, when my parents got divorced, stepdad, multiple for me in the mix.

[438] Being completely on your own, right?

[439] The notion that your mother had no clue you were failing out of junior high.

[440] Being a very responsible, grown -up child.

[441] I think for me when I left that, I was like, okay, no more being saddled to anybody, as much love as I have for everybody.

[442] I think there was this notion that I'm already permanently locked to some characters, and I think I want to not accumulate anymore.

[443] Yeah, I could see the fear of people getting in my way and the way that people in my upbringing got in my way.

[444] Right.

[445] But I think if you grew up in a house where your parents were assets and they were bringing you to soccer thing and then your dad was working with you in the front yard to learn this stuff and then you were doing all that together and you were receiving.

[446] I think you'd be more open to that commitment.

[447] Like, well, this one worked out great.

[448] Yeah.

[449] And look, as many rough spots or atypical parenting that happened, my mother putting us to bed and going out to party and have no idea where she is, I'm still very thankful for who I am.

[450] But I don't think that anything was telling me I should find a partner and recreate this.

[451] It wasn't being modeled.

[452] No. And so when I met Stephanie, I was so confused because it came out of nowhere.

[453] You guys were working together on In a World?

[454] Yeah, on Lake Bell's movie.

[455] And we both had very small roles.

[456] And we were love interests.

[457] And Stephanie was straight?

[458] She was.

[459] But what's really interesting is that she said she would go out with guys and then they'd want to see her again.

[460] And they'd be like, can I see you tomorrow?

[461] And she'd be like, why would I need to see you tomorrow?

[462] Right.

[463] Just saw you.

[464] Yeah.

[465] It's like I just ate pizza.

[466] Why would we get harder it again tomorrow?

[467] Why would I possibly need to see you again anytime soon?

[468] And so she always thought that was kind of weird about herself.

[469] But yeah, after being with her, it just came out of me. In fact, we were having dinner one time.

[470] And I thought, I never felt really terribly vulnerable previously.

[471] That's specific.

[472] So you're recognizing in that.

[473] moment, this person has the power to kind of crush me emotionally.

[474] Yeah.

[475] And I was fascinated.

[476] I've been crushed.

[477] I've had conflict, but I've never felt like, oh boy.

[478] You let this one in too deep.

[479] Yeah.

[480] I'm screwed either way.

[481] Whatever happens here.

[482] And so I thought, well, I'm going to take this moment and allow myself to be really vulnerable.

[483] And I, at dinner, yeah, two months in, I said, I have something really crazy to tell you.

[484] And she said, what?

[485] And I said, I feel like I want to be married to you.

[486] And I was ready for whatever she said.

[487] That was the truth and you had to get it off your chest.

[488] And people have told me very vulnerable things.

[489] I just felt like I was always just keeping my cool.

[490] And I was ready to just go for it.

[491] Like in the cold point.

[492] Yeah, that wise man. Yeah.

[493] And so she didn't miss a beat.

[494] And she just said, yeah, that's how I feel.

[495] Wow.

[496] Wait, in the dock, TIG, I know there's a couple.

[497] I watch Tig, which is TIG.

[498] I'm familiar.

[499] And that one, the story is a little bit, hey, this is not going to work for me. I'm romantically in love with you, Stephanie, and you're straight, and I need to probably pull the plug because I'm going to get destroyed.

[500] That was before.

[501] We had met on in a world.

[502] I got really ill. Cancer, intestinal disease, pneumonia, my mother tripped and died, broke up with my girlfriend, all of this in four months.

[503] I was not in a great place.

[504] And I collapsed and went off to the hospital and just life slid away.

[505] After I came back from all of that and was recovering emotionally, physically.

[506] I reappear after we do the movie and there's Stephanie and the movie's going to Sundance and we exchanged numbers because we had so much fun working together.

[507] I wasn't like, oh, I'm interested in this person and she certainly wasn't thinking I'm interested in TIG.

[508] I don't know about certainly, but yes, I'm agreeing with the chronology of your story.

[509] Yeah.

[510] We exchange numbers to go to Sundance.

[511] Well, and then this is my favorite part because I think we've all, a lot of us have experience this.

[512] You just start texting.

[513] Yeah.

[514] And then you just can't stop texting.

[515] And it's the most amusing, wonderful thing to just be texting with somebody.

[516] And I told her that.

[517] And I didn't think she was interested in me. I just explained, I'm not a big textor.

[518] I do not like texting.

[519] I said, I went out with a girl for coffee.

[520] And she texted me right after saying, it was so nice meeting you.

[521] And she knew I had a show that night.

[522] And she texted me at showtime and said, oh, if you have a great show.

[523] And then at best time she texts sweet dreams oh boy and i was like oh my god yeah that's a lot so i give stephani my number and she goes oh i hate texting too so don't worry about it and then that night i go to bed and she texts me sweet dreams sweet dreams so good and i was like this girl is so funny yeah i already knew it but yeah we couldn't stop she texted me i was writing my book and she said hey i'm with some friends.

[524] If you want to come meet up with us, we're at La Poubelle.

[525] And I was like, oh, my God, I started to think I had a crush on her at this point.

[526] And I thought, well, I can't go meet her.

[527] I've been just lying around my house, writing my book.

[528] I haven't showered.

[529] And then I was like, oh, she's not into me. So it doesn't matter what I look like.

[530] Clean girl, dirty girl.

[531] Yeah.

[532] Who cares?

[533] Straight girl, dirty girl.

[534] So I go down to La Pubelle, and I show up and I have this big Canadian sweater on with a big eagle on the back.

[535] And, I walk in.

[536] She's got a big blue sweater with an eagle on the bag.

[537] What?

[538] Yeah.

[539] The cable knit sweaters.

[540] And I'm like, this is insane.

[541] Are you writing a book?

[542] Are you at home writing a book all day?

[543] Are you at home writing a book all day?

[544] Exactly.

[545] And I said, we should switch sweaters.

[546] And her friend was staying there.

[547] And he goes, yeah, switch sweaters.

[548] I'll take a picture.

[549] And we put our arms around each other.

[550] We start making out as soon as we touch each other.

[551] What?

[552] Right in front of the entire.

[553] bar and so we have our first kiss captured because her friend took a picture wow wow and was it a quote bit you were doing right no it was an explosion of passion as soon as we touched each other because we had just been texting for months I love these is like people across the country that meet each other online and they have a whole thing and then they get together and they're nervous that they're going to like each other and then there's an explosion oh my gosh it was insane best kiss of your life well yeah and then that's when she wrote me And she said, hey, it was so fun kissing and I like you so much.

[554] I'm not gay.

[555] She wrote me like a 10 -page email going on and on about how much she loved hanging out with me, how much fun, how fun it was to kiss.

[556] And then I just wrote her back and said, okay, Dyke.

[557] And she said when she got the okay Dyke email, she was like, I like this person.

[558] now we have a production company and two kids and three cats that's all what like 11 years ago yeah we've hit 10 years we're going into 11 and 1 % cannot stand each other sure sure sure sure I like more focusing on the fun texting part me too but I like hearing that because that's the reality and if you go into anything thinking it's 100 % and if the 1 % happens it's like oh maybe we don't like each other no that's just probably normal you know the thing I was thinking of during the story is that is how sad I feel for single people who do want a partner, being the right pressure on that throttle.

[559] Three texts after one coffee, terrified.

[560] One text, making fun of that, were golden.

[561] Yeah.

[562] Now give me more.

[563] I just feel like so much of romance is just knowing how hard to be on the gas for people.

[564] It's not the same for everyone either.

[565] Yeah.

[566] And I knew I was taking a massive risk writing OK Dyke to her and not saying anything else, but it works.

[567] Yeah, no, I think that's definitely the best response.

[568] But the three -text girl was probably a fan.

[569] No. No, are you sure?

[570] No. I couldn't be more positive.

[571] Really?

[572] And that was part of the problem.

[573] She had no sense of humor.

[574] And I think we maybe went out twice.

[575] We had coffee, and then maybe we went out for dinner across from where I was doing stand -up.

[576] And I said, I'm going to just pop in here.

[577] I'm going to do a set.

[578] And then I'll pop back over.

[579] And she wasn't even slightly interested what was going on.

[580] Uh -huh.

[581] Okay.

[582] Can we talk about Mississippi for a minute?

[583] Yeah.

[584] Mississippi, Houston.

[585] Christian?

[586] What's the past Christian?

[587] Very rough name for me. It's the Cajun pronunciation of Christian.

[588] Yeah.

[589] Just to name a town Christian for me is scary.

[590] Oh, for sure.

[591] I'm just so used to it.

[592] But if I tell you, I was from Jesus, Michigan.

[593] Yeah.

[594] It was probably a lot of pressure there.

[595] One of my sons, we were at a friend's house.

[596] We were in Ohio, and they're very Catholic.

[597] And there's a picture of Jesus.

[598] And Max was like, is that Jesus?

[599] just and I just turned up my friend's mother.

[600] I was like, baby steps.

[601] But people call my town the pass and then the actual pronunciation is past Christian.

[602] And it's just short of an hour east of New Orleans.

[603] It's definitely got the vibe of New Orleans people because a lot of New Orleans folk have weekend homes there or people have retired there.

[604] I think there's like 4 ,000 or so locals that live there.

[605] There's certainly religious people, conservative people, but also the hop -in vibe of fun.

[606] Yeah, there's a colorful French, vibrant vibe.

[607] Yeah.

[608] Drinking, we'll add, that's pretty elevated there, yeah?

[609] People are thirsty.

[610] Yeah, but it's hot.

[611] It is hot, and people are thirsty.

[612] It's humid.

[613] There's a coffee shop in the town that is one of the best cups of coffee you can get that side of the Mississippi.

[614] Okay.

[615] And they also have a bookstore that's in the coffee shop that is unbelievable, and it is owned and operated by an interracial gay couple.

[616] Oh, wow.

[617] So the line is out the door, Cat Island bookstore and coffee shop.

[618] It's phenomenal.

[619] I think the part I was most curious of selfishly is that mom grew up pretty wealthy.

[620] Mom grew up with house staff and nannies, and the grandfather had been a mayor of New Orleans.

[621] My great -great -grandfather.

[622] Right.

[623] So my father's pass, and I talk with complete reckless disregard about him.

[624] I also mentioned nonstop.

[625] I love the daylights out of them.

[626] I might be unique in that.

[627] But there's a few things when you describe your mom that I would say, well, you definitely stop short of ever calling her an addict.

[628] But it does seem clear to me from the stories that she was probably an alcoholic.

[629] How much of her life story was impacted by having grown up one way and then not landed in that same spot?

[630] Well, I mean, she initially did not have that with my father because he was a party or he moved town to town.

[631] I always make the joke, you know, when you're at some weird place and you turn to a friend and go, oh, I didn't know your dad worked here.

[632] You know, and I always joke like, yeah, he does and he needs to take our order.

[633] all those typical things of like he has a mustache he drives a van he's got a gun in his boot yeah yeah you know what i mean like very stereo yeah that was no joke my father and my mother was fancy and that didn't work out between my parents and then my mother remarried to my stepfather i had a rick yeah it's a great stepdad name that's what stepdad's her name yeah standard yeah But he brought a lot of structure.

[634] He was an attorney, so it's not like my mother grew up and then went without or anything because my stepfather was successful and he was very regimented, controlling.

[635] Yeah.

[636] Maybe even within that, that she, I don't know enough about the situation, but maybe had to marry someone that could take care of her.

[637] Even that is maybe in the mix of having grown up one way.

[638] My understanding was that my grandmother, who was very controlling, was like, Like, okay, Susie, you had your go at it.

[639] Yes, with this man, Pat.

[640] Is that your dad's name Pat?

[641] Pasquale, Notaro.

[642] Perfect.

[643] And she said, I'm going to introduce you to a man in New Orleans.

[644] The grandmother set this.

[645] Set them up.

[646] Oh, really?

[647] And you will marry him.

[648] Yeah.

[649] When people would meet my mother and Rick, it was so confusing because my mother was so wild.

[650] And she was a drinker, no doubt.

[651] But then she would go through periods of time where she would quit.

[652] How long would those last?

[653] It would be months or years.

[654] Would she ever, like, join a program or anything like, no, just she would willpower.

[655] Yeah.

[656] And so it was a real roller coaster.

[657] She was wild from putting us to bed and then going out at night.

[658] She'd climb trees with us.

[659] We'd kick the balls on the roof.

[660] She'd climb up on the roof with us.

[661] She'd serve people martinis with the screws from her toes, surgery and the olives.

[662] Yeah.

[663] He was a provocateur a little bit.

[664] I remember a friend of mine when I was in sixth grade, and I wrote about this in the book, it was time to take my friend home.

[665] And my mother said, do you all want to get on the hood of the car to go home?

[666] And we were like, yeah.

[667] And so we were holding on to the hood, and she's driving us.

[668] And there was this guy that pulled up in a muscle car.

[669] My mother was like, oh, this is going to be hilarious.

[670] And she pulls up on the wrong side of the road so she could be next to him face to face.

[671] And she was like, you want to drag?

[672] She wasn't really going to drag, but she just wanted to like...

[673] Get the reaction of the guy in the Chappelle.

[674] One of the quote -unquote famous moments from my childhood was one my principal said, what if your mother knew what you were doing?

[675] And I said, what if you knew what my mother was doing?

[676] And that was really how I grew up thinking, like, you can't really touch me because my mother is...

[677] Going for broke out there in the streets.

[678] Oh, I'm tardy.

[679] Or, oh, I was talking in class.

[680] I don't even know what to say to you.

[681] Stay tuned for more armchair expert, if you dare.

[682] What's up, guys?

[683] It's your girl Kiki, and my podcast is back with a new season, and let me tell you, it's too good.

[684] And I'm diving into the brains of entertainment's best and brightest, okay?

[685] Every episode, I bring on a friend and have a real conversation.

[686] And I don't mean just friends.

[687] I mean the likes of Amy Polar, Kell Mitchell, Vivica Fox, the list goes on.

[688] So follow, watch, and listen to Baby.

[689] This is Kiki Palmer on the Wondery app, or wherever you get your podcast.

[690] We've all been there.

[691] Turning to the internet to self -diagnose our inexplicable pains, debilitating body aches, sudden fevers, and strange rashes.

[692] Though our minds tend to spiral to worst -case scenarios, it's usually nothing.

[693] But for an unlucky few, these unsuspecting symptoms can start the clock ticking on a terrifying medical mystery.

[694] like the unexplainable death of a retired firefighter whose body was found at home by his son, except it looked like he had been cremated, or the time when an entire town started jumping from buildings and seeing tigers on their ceilings.

[695] Hey listeners, it's Mr. Ballin here, and I'm here to tell you about my podcast.

[696] It's called Mr. Ballin's Medical Mysteries.

[697] Each terrifying true story will be sure to keep you up at night.

[698] Follow Mr. Ballin's Medical Mysteries wherever you get your podcasts.

[699] Prime members can listen early and listen.

[700] and ad -free on Amazon Music.

[701] So you detail just what a rough time you were having in school.

[702] Yeah.

[703] Was it stressing you out?

[704] Were you emotionally thinking, I'm fucked for life?

[705] So you flunked eighth grade twice.

[706] That's not the grade to flunk twice because the difference between a 14 -year -old and the 17 -year -old is an enormous difference.

[707] Well, and all my friends went off to high school.

[708] Right.

[709] So I was so humiliated that I was still in eighth grade.

[710] after everybody went on.

[711] And I failed again, but they moved me up to night.

[712] And then I dropped out.

[713] And so I have technically a seventh grade education.

[714] But were you beating yourself up at all?

[715] I'm curious what the internal experience was.

[716] We were like, I've got to buckle down and learn this.

[717] Or you're like, I'm just never going to do it, and I don't care.

[718] I was never going to do it.

[719] I remember I was in school suspension for whatever tardies or talking.

[720] I was never doing anything terrible.

[721] horrible.

[722] When I think about what's going on today, it was PG -13.

[723] Yeah, PG -13.

[724] Maybe PG -17.

[725] But I was sneaking the car out.

[726] I was smoking.

[727] So I was in school suspension.

[728] And I was in there for whatever thing I had done, talking tardy.

[729] And you get your first day assigned.

[730] And then they deliver your classwork.

[731] And then if you don't finish your classwork, then you get another day added.

[732] I didn't.

[733] see a way out because I was looking at these papers and books piling up and I was thinking, I don't know who they think is going to be doing this.

[734] And it's certainly not going to be me because I don't do that when I'm not in in school suspension.

[735] Right.

[736] That's how you got an in school suspension in the first one of it.

[737] I'm in ninth grade and I'm like 47.

[738] So I'm like, this isn't You parked your work truck out front because you have an actual job.

[739] I got kids in the car.

[740] So I remember thinking, I'm just going to head out.

[741] out.

[742] The person in charge of in school suspension was one of the gym coaches.

[743] And so I got up from my desk and I was walking towards the door.

[744] And I remember the big coach and he stood up.

[745] He goes, whoa, whoa, whoa, where do you think you're going?

[746] I said, I'm heading home.

[747] I was like, I'm done.

[748] Yeah.

[749] And he was like, what do you mean?

[750] Yeah.

[751] I was like, I'm done.

[752] I'm going home.

[753] And then he had to let me go because I quit.

[754] And as you were walking away from the school, did you feel an explosion of freedom or did you have any fear?

[755] No. I truly felt similarly to when I realized, oh, I am a stand -up comedian.

[756] This feels right.

[757] Or, oh, I'm gay.

[758] Because I found myself always just plotting and planning.

[759] Where can I go just get a job and get a studio apartment?

[760] Get going with my real life.

[761] Yeah.

[762] Did you have a goal for what that quote, real life was going to be or look like?

[763] Or you were like, no, I just want to start.

[764] I pictured myself alone.

[765] It was like a cartoon.

[766] I pictured myself on a bicycle and a basket with a child in it.

[767] Okay.

[768] So I pictured me and one child.

[769] And in my head, this little child's name was Timmy.

[770] Oh, wow.

[771] So pedestrian for your unique everything.

[772] And that was the cartoon version that I would relay to people.

[773] I was like, me and little Timmy, we're going to go out into the world.

[774] And I wanted a child that was comfortable anywhere, which is kind of what my mother made me and my brother.

[775] Yeah, yeah.

[776] Like, I wanted a kid.

[777] You could go to a party and just let the kid.

[778] Check in with him in a few hours.

[779] And just put him to bed on everyone's coats on the bed in the other room.

[780] I didn't see a kid holding me back in any way.

[781] I'm going to bring them everywhere.

[782] We're just going to go hang out and live this life together.

[783] Me and a little Timmy.

[784] And I was very into music.

[785] And I wanted to either work in the music business or play music.

[786] So as you get interested in music and you go to Colorado, I'm curious, what is your musical genre?

[787] I'm all over the place.

[788] So eclectic.

[789] I am just as happy listening to the Indigo girls, to Ray Charles, to Van Halen, to Willie Nelson, Gladys Knight.

[790] You love it all.

[791] Oh, my gosh.

[792] I was also very into like Edie Burkell.

[793] I was just about to say Edie Burkell, shooting rubber bands.

[794] What an album.

[795] But also, did you ever get the follow -up, Ghost of a Dog?

[796] Yes, just made my girls listen to it in the pool like two weeks ago.

[797] I'm like, we're listening to this whole album.

[798] You're a good man. Did you stumble upon Grenadine?

[799] or any of these other.

[800] They were more female punk bands, but there were so many good ones around the same era.

[801] No, but I would love to hear.

[802] Maybe when I come Cold Plunge, you can play that for nice.

[803] Well, first we'll go through Edie Brickell's entire discography.

[804] Edie Brickell wrote the theme song for my podcast.

[805] Get out of here.

[806] You have a personal friendship with her?

[807] I got to tell you, when I played this album for the girls, and then you start going, who is she?

[808] Well, and then I go, I think she married Paul Simon.

[809] Right, 94, I stopped getting new information about her, and I have a huge question mark of what happened.

[810] Yeah, she married Paul Simon.

[811] Did they stay married?

[812] They are still married.

[813] Oh, my God, wonderful.

[814] Seemingly, she stopped making albums, and I thought, oh, no, this marrying Paul thing is backfired.

[815] She didn't.

[816] She put out solo material, but also she joined forces with Steve Martin.

[817] In fact, I was nominated for Grammy one year.

[818] I didn't know her then, but they won Best Americana album, I believe.

[819] Him on the banjo.

[820] Yeah, and so I presented Edie Burkell and, Steve Martin.

[821] I got to announce their win and I'm standing there and childhood TIG, my comedy and music loves are walking towards my face and I'm like handing them a Grammy.

[822] Oh my God.

[823] That's so simulation.

[824] It was so incredible.

[825] But for my podcast, they said, hey, we have some cash for you to hire someone to do music.

[826] And I said, this is probably going to be way under her fee.

[827] Yeah.

[828] This is going to be like shooting rubber bands at the star.

[829] Exactly.

[830] It is a big.

[831] So I said I would love for Edie Brickell if I could get her to write a song.

[832] Wow, good for you for just asking.

[833] That's incredible.

[834] And I've only met her that brief moment handing her the Grammy, but she didn't know who I was at the time.

[835] And we didn't hang out or anything.

[836] I was just like, oh, congrats.

[837] And it was through reps and people reaching out.

[838] And she was like, yeah.

[839] And then I was on a call with her.

[840] And then she said, I'm going to get on your nerves because I'm going to send you a lot of options.

[841] And I said, you don't know.

[842] know who you're talking to you.

[843] Send them all.

[844] I have the Texas Monthly magazine.

[845] You were on the cover of.

[846] So send them away for the rest of my life.

[847] But yeah, we've maintained a friendship through email.

[848] I only had one.

[849] I've had two.

[850] One of the experiences was love Chenate O 'Connor so much.

[851] Just obsessed, obsessed, obsessed.

[852] And then the second movie I made, there was a moment where I had one of her songs at the end of the movie.

[853] And we were in the phase of getting permission.

[854] And they said, well, she would like to.

[855] watch the whole movie if she's going to agree to license her song to it.

[856] So we sent her the whole movie.

[857] And then I got forwarded the email that was like, I love this movie so much.

[858] I'd love to have my song in it.

[859] Oh my God.

[860] I just got chills.

[861] Yeah, me too.

[862] That's awesome.

[863] Especially.

[864] Yeah.

[865] Did you watch her doc?

[866] I didn't.

[867] It's a beautiful documentary.

[868] When did it come out?

[869] This year.

[870] The moment, in fact, for me, that would make me cry every time is you know her story.

[871] She lived outside her mother wouldn't let her live in her house she's had to sleep in the garden i mean just very abused child growing up at the apex of the irish catholic everything when she gets on stage and lets it fucking rip yeah to be that subjugated and oppressed and still at some point go fuck you i'm letting it rip i'm beautiful i don't know what it is about yeah it's always these female singers the docks, when they let it rip no matter what, I find to be the most moving thing in the world.

[872] I can't wait to watch that.

[873] I haven't cried that hard in my whole life, I don't think.

[874] Anywho, yeah, I had that moment where I was like, wow, this person, Shnade O 'Connor, she was some angel for me, has seen that I'm on planet Earth as well with her and actually consume something I made and then liked it.

[875] Wow, what a moment.

[876] Yeah.

[877] Edie told me she and Paul watched the TIG doc on Netflix.

[878] Isn't that incredible?

[879] Yeah.

[880] I don't know if she's seen anything much more of mine, but I also don't need that from her.

[881] She's giving you enough.

[882] Yeah.

[883] The one I was going to bring up was we were at school and everyone was like Prince is dead.

[884] Do you remember this?

[885] That happened down in Texas?

[886] When Prince died?

[887] He hadn't died.

[888] But when I was in third grade at the height of Prince and Purple Rain and the Prince everything, there was a rumor that circulated that Prince was dead.

[889] And for like two days, because there's no Internet or anything.

[890] Everyone mourned Prince being dead.

[891] I can't believe you don't remember that that didn't make its way down to.

[892] No, I don't know where I was.

[893] It could have just been your school.

[894] No, I thought we could look this up.

[895] It was one of these Mandela effect things where it's like everyone thought, yes, it was believed that he was dead for a minute.

[896] No, I thought you were telling me that.

[897] I was like, I wasn't a child.

[898] I know where I was when I heard Prince died.

[899] I was in Palm Springs with my wife.

[900] Children, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, fully grown.

[901] Yeah.

[902] But living through Purple Rain is a whole experience that's hard to not share with somebody, isn't it?

[903] Yeah, Stephanie is not a Purple Rain person.

[904] The song, she's just like, I don't get it.

[905] Yes.

[906] I can see now, like if I can pull myself out of its power, I can realize everything's a little pervy from that whole stretch.

[907] I can see if you didn't grow up with it, it'd be different than it is to me. I don't know how it is humanly possible to not be obsessed with the song, Purple Rain.

[908] When Stephanie looked at me and said, I don't get it.

[909] You got a question.

[910] I don't know what.

[911] You're like, I don't get you.

[912] Yeah, it reminds me of, you know, whatever that noise is that you play and some people hear something and then other people hear that other thing.

[913] Oh, I don't know that, but I want to take this test.

[914] I don't know.

[915] It's like the blue dress, gold dress thing.

[916] Yeah, it's kind of like that.

[917] It's the same thing with hearing things.

[918] And I feel like maybe she's got a blue dress and I got a gold dress.

[919] I don't know, but what are you talking about?

[920] Like when some people eat cilantro and taste soap.

[921] Oh, that's a genetic mutation.

[922] Maybe there's something in about Purple Rain.

[923] Yeah, I think she's eating soap when she hears that.

[924] She has a genetic mutation.

[925] Yeah, because she's wrong.

[926] It's not up for debate.

[927] It's a masterpiece.

[928] Are you seeing Taylor Swift while she's at SoFi?

[929] I would love to, but I'm only in town for a few days.

[930] That's right.

[931] Where are you going?

[932] Well, I was on a family vacation.

[933] Right.

[934] And then I came in town to do stand up to cancer, the Katie Couric event that she does.

[935] Pro cancer, really?

[936] Yeah, pro cancer.

[937] Is the family still in Montau?

[938] They're actually in Colorado.

[939] Oh, my goodness.

[940] Yeah, but we're full -blown on the most family vacation summer we've ever had.

[941] Have you been to Montauk?

[942] No, I haven't.

[943] I've only heard of it being the chill, layback surf part of Long Island.

[944] It's perfect.

[945] I mean, it suits our family just fine.

[946] We were like, we will be back every summer.

[947] These East Coast folks know a thing or two about how to spend summertime.

[948] time.

[949] How to summer?

[950] I think yes.

[951] Do you know a comedian Laura Heitlinger?

[952] Uh -uh.

[953] She was one of my favorites when I was coming up, even before I started stand up and in her book, which is so great.

[954] She makes a joke of somebody asking, where does she summer?

[955] And she's like, outside?

[956] Are they fun family vacations for you?

[957] Or are they work?

[958] Well, you have two seven -year -olds?

[959] Yeah.

[960] I have two seven -year -olds.

[961] I mean, it can't help but be both.

[962] Both of those things, not vacationy and vacationy.

[963] I have to say, though, we've had a really great time.

[964] A lot of hanging out in the beach, one of our kids, he'll just stand out in the water.

[965] And as the waves crash in, he just yells, fun!

[966] This is fun!

[967] I mean, just loving it, you know, and you can't get him in from the waves.

[968] He's just there.

[969] So pure.

[970] Yeah.

[971] And they're still at that age where no shame to ask their two moms to come hold hands with them in the waves.

[972] And this is their idea to yell family while we jump in the waves.

[973] That is so cute.

[974] So we're holding hands.

[975] And we're just jumping.

[976] And yelling family.

[977] Because our two sons.

[978] If you're on the beach watching this, you're like, oh, they almost got divorced this year.

[979] They're like, they're like.

[980] on the men.

[981] Yeah, they're trying to fix a very deep wound.

[982] Family, family.

[983] My friends that I had mentioned we had visited in Ohio, they had a family vacation every year.

[984] There's five kids, two parents.

[985] I think the grandmother lived with them and they didn't have a lot of money and they would pile everyone into the station wagon.

[986] They'd drive over the Ohio, Kentucky border.

[987] And it just said, welcome to Kentucky.

[988] And then there was a motel there called the Drawbridge Motel and they would get a room and they would all cram in there just to go swimming in the pool and they'd spend like a weekend or a week there.

[989] Staring at Cincinnati probably.

[990] So my kids are definitely getting more than the Drawbridge Motel.

[991] Yeah, but it doesn't help to explain to them what the alternative is.

[992] It just doesn't register for them.

[993] Nothing helps.

[994] When we were in Ohio, I had told them in front of our friends, I said, if you do not agree on something, then we will not go to the Cincinnati Reds game.

[995] And my son, Finn, they call me mayor, which is French for mother.

[996] And he said, Mayor, you always say that you're going to not let us do something, but you never do.

[997] Right.

[998] And I was like, called out.

[999] So embarrassed.

[1000] Yeah.

[1001] Now you've paid me into a corner.

[1002] And now I'm going to have to.

[1003] And now you're in big trouble.

[1004] Yes.

[1005] For being honest and observant.

[1006] In front of all of our family.

[1007] pointing out that I actually don't do anything to discipline.

[1008] I don't follow through at all.

[1009] No follow through.

[1010] Oh, my God.

[1011] Yeah, that was a tactical blunder on his end.

[1012] Yeah.

[1013] Reminds me one time my mother was spanking my brother and I because we had been fighting endlessly.

[1014] And while she was spanking me, I started laughing.

[1015] And she's a single mother over her head.

[1016] I think she felt so powerless.

[1017] These two boys, they're now laughing when she spanks.

[1018] She sent us to her room where in our bunk beds, the door flies open, like almost off the hinges.

[1019] And she's holding this rubber slat, this little rubber track you'd run on your hot wheels.

[1020] And she's just whirling dirt.

[1021] She's swinging it wildly, hitting us like crazy because we broke her.

[1022] And she's like, they're not even afraid of me. And it doesn't even hurt when I hit them.

[1023] You're now getting the hot wheel track.

[1024] And did you now laugh at her swinging?

[1025] We were screaming.

[1026] We thought she was going to murder us.

[1027] We thought we were dying.

[1028] Oh, my God, we broke.

[1029] Like, you get that sense that we pushed too far and she's now broke.

[1030] Yeah.

[1031] She's also 27.

[1032] I don't know.

[1033] She's young.

[1034] When I think back, I think of her as my age, but she wasn't.

[1035] She was a kid raising these three kids.

[1036] Smack the shit out of us with this.

[1037] Oh, my God.

[1038] We bring that up to her once a month.

[1039] That's the only time anything like that ever happened where she lost her cool and, like, swatted the shit out of us.

[1040] What did you want me to do?

[1041] I'm like, I get it.

[1042] But yes, we.

[1043] rake her over the coals about the time she beat us with hot wheel track and then can you imagine and this is no judgment about your mother but can you imagine doing that now of course not i haven't even spanked my kids but a it's not 83 your culture tells you exactly what to do and you do it i mean if you lost it and just heard it oh my god being your kids indiscriminately i need to add it was the indiscriminateness of the experience that was so clear she had lost it and then was it a whole other world of horror when you went back to your hot wheel track and there was a piece missing there was no PTSD associated with it but she left the room we were like oh fuck what was more scary than getting hit with the hot wheel track was we may have broken mom yeah like we went too far oh she's a human I think that's the first time we were like oh she's a human who might lose her control because of us right yeah so we did some course correcting after that But ultimately it was probably productive for her.

[1044] Yeah, I didn't know that still was happening into the 80s.

[1045] I thought it was strictly like it ended in 1979.

[1046] No, not only did it not end, but I think you would have as a parent in 83 felt irresponsible for not smacking your kids occasionally.

[1047] I really believe that.

[1048] I think you would have been like, I'm fucking just too soft on them and I'm ruining these children.

[1049] And all my neighbors are beating the shit other kids.

[1050] What am I?

[1051] Just a regular Tignotaro over here?

[1052] No follow -through.

[1053] Writing a bunch of checks, my ass can't cash?

[1054] No, it's newer than you think.

[1055] I got spanked, and my brother got spanked, and he was born in 96.

[1056] I think a lot of kids are still getting spanked.

[1057] Still?

[1058] No, there was a whole show about it.

[1059] Remember that whole show, The Smack or something?

[1060] No. Oh, boy, I didn't watch that.

[1061] David E. Kelly one.

[1062] Yeah, like it was on ABC or something about a kid who gets spanked in front of all these other parents at a swimming pool, and there's like a whole show about it.

[1063] Wow.

[1064] I can't even imagine pitching that with confidence.

[1065] It's a show where a kid gets spanked.

[1066] It'll go for seasons.

[1067] That's the inciting incident.

[1068] It takes them years to unravel what happened.

[1069] People are going to talk about it on a podcast.

[1070] Look, I'm of two opinions.

[1071] One is I didn't feel it necessary to ever hit my kids.

[1072] I'm also not standing here on a fucking moral high ground telling other parents.

[1073] I don't have an opinion.

[1074] I don't know what happens.

[1075] I think culture is a lot of it.

[1076] If all your friends are getting spankings and you're getting spankings, a spanking?

[1077] I don't think it's that big of a deal.

[1078] If you're getting spankings and no one that you know is, you'll start feeling like, oh my God, my parents don't love me. But also, then you go, where is the beginning and the end of a spanking?

[1079] What does a spanking look like?

[1080] Because then somebody could say, I just spanked the kid.

[1081] And then it's like, yeah, but the kid is injured.

[1082] Yes.

[1083] Also, my grandma who adored us and took great care of us.

[1084] She'd say, go get the yardstick.

[1085] She'd paddle us with a yardstick.

[1086] Not like, go get the hot wheel flap.

[1087] No. That was proprietary.

[1088] That was.

[1089] That was a novel approach to discipline.

[1090] Okay.

[1091] I want to fast forward a second through.

[1092] You go to Colorado.

[1093] You come out to L .A. music -related mission.

[1094] You end up doing stand -up.

[1095] You fall in love with stand -up.

[1096] You realize, no, this is what I'm supposed to be doing with my life.

[1097] You have a very respectable stand -up career.

[1098] You just mentioned it.

[1099] I think a lot of people will be aware of it, but some people won't.

[1100] But in order, you have an impossible year.

[1101] An impossible four months.

[1102] Four months.

[1103] Yes.

[1104] And I won't deny you the order.

[1105] What I'm saying is, I know you've talked.

[1106] about that part a lot.

[1107] I want to say what was most interesting to me about your documentary is on the backside of it.

[1108] That to me is very fascinating, but we'll get there.

[1109] I just want you to know where my own interests lies in it.

[1110] Okay.

[1111] I'll tell you the boring stuff you're not interested in.

[1112] No, I am.

[1113] I just want you to know.

[1114] No. When I was working on in a world, I didn't know I had three potentially deadly illnesses simultaneously.

[1115] I had pneumonia.

[1116] Actually, that was the last time I ever talked to my mother.

[1117] I was lying in bed.

[1118] And I thought I had a cold.

[1119] And she was telling me the typical thing a mother tells you to drink orange juice and rest.

[1120] You were close.

[1121] You and your mother.

[1122] Yeah.

[1123] We had a very up and down roller coaster relationship.

[1124] But yeah.

[1125] In fact, she was planning on coming out to visit me. But I was in bed sick.

[1126] I thought I had a cold and went to urgent care.

[1127] They gave me antibiotics because they said I had actually pneumonia.

[1128] And I was like, God, it's so intense to have pneumonia.

[1129] Yeah.

[1130] And then I was in so much pain.

[1131] I can't even explain.

[1132] I didn't know I had developed this disease called C. diff, which is a bacterial infection in the digestive tract.

[1133] Everybody has C. diff in their gut, and it's fine if everything is all in there, all of the different bacteria working together.

[1134] Some bacteria keep the C. diff in check.

[1135] Yeah.

[1136] And C. diff's keeping other things in check.

[1137] Right.

[1138] And you can contract C. diff from other people.

[1139] it's highly contagious, or you can get it from antibiotics.

[1140] Antibiotics can just clear out your system, and then C -diff, if that's left to remain, it just grows and just eats your insides.

[1141] And it has no competitors anymore because you've cleared out the good bacteria.

[1142] Yeah, and it just destroys you.

[1143] And I didn't know I had that.

[1144] And so, yeah, I had pneumonia, C -diff, and then I got out of the hospital, and my mother had tripped, hit her head, and had to take her off life support.

[1145] And then my girlfriend and I split up.

[1146] And then I was diagnosed with invasive breast cancer.

[1147] All within four months.

[1148] Mm -hmm.

[1149] Mom falls in front of Rick.

[1150] Rick and her suss out that she's fine.

[1151] She stays up to watch TV.

[1152] He goes to bed.

[1153] He comes out in the morning.

[1154] She's bleeding out of her nose and elsewhere.

[1155] Yeah.

[1156] She was never conscious again.

[1157] Oh, my God.

[1158] I mean, that is such a crazy story.

[1159] And what's even crazier?

[1160] 10 years to the day, March 28th, 2022, I took Rick off life support.

[1161] No. He died of C -DIF.

[1162] No. Yeah.

[1163] Oh, my God.

[1164] March 28th.

[1165] Four days after your birthday?

[1166] Yep.

[1167] Happy birthday.

[1168] Yeah.

[1169] I mean, every year, I'm like always headed towards my birthday.

[1170] Having this PTSD of like, oh, this is when I was diagnosed, this is when I collapsed, this is when I went to the doctor.

[1171] And then in 2022, last year, I was still.

[1172] starting to go through my PTSD, and then I get a call.

[1173] Nobody's heard from Rick.

[1174] The police went, kicked his door in.

[1175] They found him.

[1176] And what I'd imagine, when you have C -diff that bad, A, you don't want to eat, but B, you become very malnourished because none of your food can absorb into your intestines because it's all completely proliferated with this bacteria.

[1177] Yeah, you cannot eat.

[1178] So you're starving to death, even if you're eating.

[1179] I was obviously one of the lucky ones that made it through all of those things, but it was insane for me. He didn't know what C -diff was when I had it.

[1180] And just to have that recollection of explaining it to him and going through it while my mother's funeral was going on and everything that was happening.

[1181] And then he died of it 10 years later.

[1182] My mother died technically on March 29th, but I took them both off of life support on March 28th.

[1183] And my mother lived for hours and went into the 29th that she actually died.

[1184] But yeah, March 28th is weird date.

[1185] for me. Yeah.

[1186] I think this is worth shouting out Ira Glass.

[1187] He pretty immediately was encouraging you to talk about all this stuff you were going through in that moment.

[1188] Had you had the surgery yet for your cancer?

[1189] No. You haven't even begun treatment yet.

[1190] And he's urging you to talk about it.

[1191] And that obviously is a hurdle for you.

[1192] I didn't know why he was telling me to talk about it on stage because I was a very different person and a very different comedian before all this happened.

[1193] I wasn't really sharing personal things.

[1194] In fact, when I was really sick, I kept it to myself at first.

[1195] Ira had known that I was sick with C -diff, but when I was diagnosed with cancer, he was like, you have to talk about this on stage.

[1196] It was almost borderline offensive to me because I was thinking, that just sounds like, no. Exploitative to yourself?

[1197] Yeah, and to my mother, just all of it.

[1198] I just didn't understand why he would say that.

[1199] And then I had this show booked at Largo.

[1200] I had this ongoing monthly show there here in Los Angeles.

[1201] And I had called the owner Flanagan and just said, I'm really in a bad place.

[1202] I'm going to cancel.

[1203] And he also was like, let's just keep it on the books in case you want to do the show.

[1204] And I was like, what is wrong with these people?

[1205] Yeah, yeah.

[1206] I was like, do you hear me?

[1207] I can't eat food.

[1208] I'm in pain.

[1209] I have invasive of cancer.

[1210] I just buried my mother.

[1211] I just want to go lie down and disappear.

[1212] What would I have to say to you for you to say take the night off?

[1213] All of the nightmare situations that you're like, I hope I never get cancer.

[1214] I don't want my mother to die.

[1215] I don't want to be alone.

[1216] Also, I'm typing this to you because my larynx were removed.

[1217] Great.

[1218] You still do the show on the 30th.

[1219] Let's just see.

[1220] Well, you still have fingers.

[1221] You're typing.

[1222] You can do a whiteboard.

[1223] So he said, yeah, you can cancel, Even if it's a step before you walk on stage, you decide you don't want to do it.

[1224] And I was like, okay.

[1225] And then as it got closer, I just thought, well, I think I'm going to do a show.

[1226] And that becomes a really enormous chapter of your life.

[1227] You record this set.

[1228] There's no video available because that was against Largo Rules.

[1229] But there is an audio recording.

[1230] The people that witnessed the show found it insanely profound and moving.

[1231] This experience for people gets talked about.

[1232] about.

[1233] It gets kind of viral.

[1234] And then you ultimately release an album that I don't know if it was a bit when you were on a talk show that it's really called Live.

[1235] It's called Live just to have to correct people every time.

[1236] Yes, because of course, you want to say live.

[1237] Yeah, live.

[1238] Well, yeah, most live albums that are called Live, Live.

[1239] But this is Live, L -I -V.

[1240] It's a big album.

[1241] And then you got nominated for a Grammy for it.

[1242] Became the number one selling.

[1243] comedy album in the world.

[1244] I remember my record label calling me and saying, you sold more albums than Kiss.

[1245] It was on the pop charts.

[1246] You know, I was a big Kiss fan as a kid.

[1247] And if somebody was like, I'm not going to tell you what's going to happen, but you're going to sell more records than Kiss.

[1248] Yeah, I can say how you get here?

[1249] Because you might not choose this path.

[1250] Stay tuned for more armchair expert if you dare.

[1251] So you have this incredible experience by being honest about this thing.

[1252] But then you're like, now where do we go from here?

[1253] And it was very paralyzing.

[1254] And that I have great sympathy for.

[1255] I could see that nine times out of 10 kind of ending someone.

[1256] I thought it might.

[1257] I remember saying to my manager at the time, when is this attention going to end?

[1258] And this was days into it.

[1259] And he was like, what do you mean?

[1260] And I was like, I don't know.

[1261] Like, when is everybody going to go back to their lives and not be interested in this?

[1262] And he was like, I don't know if that's going to happen.

[1263] I couldn't believe that weeks and months and years went by and people were still interested in it.

[1264] And I have a better understanding of it now because, of course, people connect to that and people understand you're a human being and you've fallen and you're acknowledging it and you're talking about it.

[1265] And you're showing everybody, yeah, me too.

[1266] When I was going through all of that and people were using the word brave, it was so confusing because I didn't feel.

[1267] I feel brave.

[1268] I was just staying alive and continued to breathe.

[1269] But the reality was I was very sad.

[1270] And I was alone crying.

[1271] I was so confused by that word.

[1272] Well, even the way we talk about it, they're going to fight cancer.

[1273] Yeah.

[1274] And there's some implied, oh, that person didn't fight hard enough.

[1275] Is that the implication?

[1276] My dad was a quitter, I guess.

[1277] You know, my stepdad was a quitter.

[1278] I don't know.

[1279] All the language around it was a little uncomfortable for me, because especially when you are part of that world and community, you see people dying.

[1280] And they fought as hard as the next person.

[1281] They might have fought harder than you.

[1282] Yeah.

[1283] And they weren't not brave.

[1284] Right.

[1285] It was very confusing because my career had always chugged along just fine.

[1286] I was not ever somebody complaining.

[1287] That you weren't Sarah or something.

[1288] Sarah Silverman.

[1289] No. I never even thought I could be Sarah Silverman.

[1290] And nor could I be Sarah Silverman or anybody else.

[1291] But I don't know if it's the underachiever in me. You were delighted that you were making a living in this thing that's impossible to do.

[1292] I failed three grades and dropped out of high school.

[1293] I am telling jokes, traveling the world.

[1294] I have made it.

[1295] I didn't have a complaint.

[1296] And so having all that attention on me was very uncomfortable.

[1297] And there was a lot of talk about, oh, Tiggs finally found her voice.

[1298] And she's a dark truth teller.

[1299] and that confused me because I love silliness.

[1300] And I tell people, I am 100 % no nonsense, but I am 100 % only nonsense.

[1301] But I love living as close as I can to the truest, most authentic version of life and myself.

[1302] But I didn't know that that was necessarily going to be me. Then I'm going to be going on stage and getting into it every time.

[1303] Yes.

[1304] Yes.

[1305] It's a lot of pressure.

[1306] Is there a thought of like, all my tragedies are over?

[1307] What's going to be the next special?

[1308] I, one million percent, especially if you go back to that documentary, it's so embarrassing because I was a grown person who thought that, well, I went through everything and now life is just smooth.

[1309] I mean, what else could I possibly go through?

[1310] And then when I was approached to do this Netflix documentary, I thought, Well, yeah, this is a victory lap.

[1311] You can, you know, see my highlights of the good life now.

[1312] And then I had no idea that life doesn't work that way.

[1313] You still get curveballs and rough moments.

[1314] I thought I got everything out of the way.

[1315] It would be great if it worked that way.

[1316] Yeah.

[1317] It would be like, well, finally.

[1318] It's kind of like when you pay into Social Security at some point you cap out.

[1319] You want that moment where you capped out on trauma in your life?

[1320] I remember with my cancer diagnosis, no part of me thought I had cancer.

[1321] And when they were like, oh, we found something.

[1322] And I was like, what's going on here?

[1323] And then I remember the doctor comes in and she says, how are you feeling?

[1324] And I immediately was like this feels like a leading question.

[1325] Yeah, I said, okay.

[1326] I can't remember exactly what she said.

[1327] But I remember saying to her, are you saying that I have cancer?

[1328] And she said, why, I can't say for sure.

[1329] but what I am looking at does indicate quite possibly the thing you do.

[1330] And I wanted to say, my mother just died.

[1331] My girlfriend and I just broke up.

[1332] I'm still struggling with C .D. I can't have cancer.

[1333] Right.

[1334] It's comical.

[1335] Yeah.

[1336] And that broke me in that way where I was like, okay, this is so dumb.

[1337] It's very lazy writing.

[1338] They're like, we need to bring this series to a close.

[1339] I know.

[1340] And everyone had an idea and we just kept all of the ideas.

[1341] Yeah, we've jumped the shark a little bit on this.

[1342] We've jumped so many sharks.

[1343] Because you don't think the audience is going to be out after she's at the funeral, and then we do cancer?

[1344] I think we need to do cancer before the funeral.

[1345] I did a special a couple of years ago where I tell a story about when Jenny Slate was moving from New York to L .A. She is not one of my closest friends in the world.

[1346] She's just an old pal from stand -up.

[1347] And she reaches out, she's like, hey, I'm moving to L .A. And I said, oh, cool.

[1348] I'm sick right now, but when I feel better, she said, would you like to get tea?

[1349] And I said, yeah, I'm sure I'll be fine in a few days.

[1350] So let's have tea.

[1351] She reaches out again.

[1352] And she's like, hey, are you feeling better?

[1353] And I said, oh, actually, I'm in the hospital.

[1354] I have this intestinal disease.

[1355] Super sexy.

[1356] Yeah.

[1357] And she was getting married at the time.

[1358] And she said, oh, my gosh, I'm so sorry.

[1359] And she said, I'm actually going back to Massachusetts.

[1360] I'm getting married.

[1361] And when I come back.

[1362] back we'll have tea yeah so we kick it down the road and then she reaches out oh my god she's married she's like how's it going and i was like oh my god you now sound like an addict by the way or like when you have an addict and it's like we had someone that we had hired for something and it was like their mom died three times you know their sister was incarcerated twice it's just very addicty like they've forgotten how many times they've for sure yes it's starting probably to sound like oh she's got a fucking heroin addiction i felt insane because she's like hey i'm back in town hope you're feeling better do you want to get tea and i was like jenny my mother died oh and she was like what this is all over text this is just somebody trying to move to l .A and have a friend grab a quick tea yeah to be like hey she doesn't need you to help her move furniture or anything it's just a tea just a tea yeah and then i'm like i just took my mother off life support we're doing funeral stuff when she's like Tigg, I'm so sorry.

[1363] I was like, thank you so much.

[1364] She reaches out again.

[1365] I'm like, Jenny, I'm doing a lot better.

[1366] My girlfriend and I did just break up, but we'll get the tea.

[1367] Nothing sounds better than a good tea.

[1368] She reaches out again.

[1369] My phone, Jenny Slate.

[1370] I started to feel bad for her.

[1371] Of course.

[1372] I'm surprised her text wasn't, what do you have cancer now, Tud?

[1373] Yeah, preemptively.

[1374] Yeah, and I'm like, I'm sorry, I have cancer.

[1375] I can't have tea.

[1376] But what was so fun was when Jenny finally came over after I had surgery, and she brought tea for us to have.

[1377] Oh, wonderful.

[1378] And a friend of mine had gotten one of those big balloon bouquets, you know, that takes up, like, the whole room.

[1379] Sure.

[1380] I couldn't even really walk across the room.

[1381] I was so weak because I was also still dealing with C -DIF and all of it was still going on.

[1382] I lived in downtown L .A. had a loft at the time.

[1383] I said, I've just been lying here on my couch, fantasizing about putting a note on this balloon bouquet, pushing it out of my window and just being like, hey, hey, this is TIG.

[1384] I'm coming through cancer.

[1385] And she was like, TIG, we got to do that.

[1386] And I was like, okay.

[1387] So she opens the window.

[1388] And I'm like, you know, walking over there.

[1389] And we're like trying to push these balloons.

[1390] It's like the end of Thelma and Louise or something.

[1391] And we're like, you know, trying to get all these balloons out of this window.

[1392] And they go out.

[1393] And it was going to be this big symbolic, yay, I've come through it all.

[1394] And then the balloons got caught on the.

[1395] fire escape on the guy's apartment right above me who I have to see in the elevator and I just looks like I wrote him a note saying hey I've been down here struggling but I'm sending my cancer out so my balloons were just there that's almost identical to a story I heard about someone's birthday party and they had all these dubs and they also had all these teaky torches no It could have been, though, when doves to cry.

[1396] So they released these dubs, and a bunch of them flew through the teaky torches.

[1397] It went from this very beautiful birthday celebration to a bunch of dubs on fire.

[1398] No. It was the single worst thing that could ever happen.

[1399] And that's a big birthday party, and now everyone's got to just deal with the fact that they just saw this.

[1400] And think how bad of luck that person thought they were going to have for the rest of the year.

[1401] That is rough.

[1402] Your balloons remind me of that a little bit.

[1403] Also, I'm a vegan person.

[1404] Oh, yeah.

[1405] I'm not thrilled about birds being charred anywhere.

[1406] Yeah.

[1407] Or celebratory.

[1408] Oh, no. I'm sorry, I brought you down.

[1409] I thought maybe the cancer and everything else was a safe place to tell you about these dead doves, but no. No. But I guess in the dock, I see that you ultimately do get back on stage and it works out perfectly for you.

[1410] But how do you get yourself to just go like, okay, yeah, I did that thing.

[1411] I'm associated with that.

[1412] I don't have cancer anymore.

[1413] I'm not going to be more material about having it.

[1414] But here I come.

[1415] How do you steal yourself for the return?

[1416] I did have a lot of stress and pressure around what am I going to talk about and worrying about what the audience was going to expect of me. And then I started to reflect on the beginning of my stand -up career and all of the years leading up to that moment that I did that show.

[1417] My style has changed in so many different ways, just as you do as a performer or artist.

[1418] Well, you're telling your truth, but you're a change.

[1419] changing vessel.

[1420] Right.

[1421] I started out doing one -liners.

[1422] Even though I'm very dry, I was so deadpan dry, one -liners, and then it would kind of grow to, I'd tell a story.

[1423] And then I would do bits with the stool on stage.

[1424] So I'm like, okay, well, that's kind of like prop humor.

[1425] Could have a Vegas stage show now.

[1426] Yeah.

[1427] And I really thought about how just like I told a 20 -minute story about running into Taylor Dane or pushing a stool around.

[1428] on stage, I can always change and do things, and I don't have to be this one person or performer forever, and nor would I want to be, and I've never been.

[1429] I have to imagine you feel some kind of pressure, because once you become symbolic to a struggle, and you know how emotionally connected people are to that, you feel like you have some pressure to keep telling their story.

[1430] Well, I mean, lucky for them.

[1431] My medical issues didn't end in 2012.

[1432] God, for all of us really, we're all grateful.

[1433] So I shared many stories of being in a diaper to having internal bleeding.

[1434] I've certainly gone to that well again.

[1435] And that well continues to run it over.

[1436] Yeah.

[1437] So there's that.

[1438] I remember being backstage at a show.

[1439] I was in Iowa City.

[1440] I've always loved Iowa, but Iowa City is very special to me because I was.

[1441] Out on the road again, it was one of the biggest venues at the time that I had done.

[1442] I think I was doing two shows in this theater in Iowa City.

[1443] And it was kind of the beginning of me getting back on the road and seeing how my following had grown.

[1444] I was full of nerves beforehand because I really wanted to give the audience what they wanted.

[1445] That's the exact statement for me right there.

[1446] Something shifts, right?

[1447] Like, I can't imagine you were proceeding through comedy prior to that with that.

[1448] thought.

[1449] No, because I was at the time still a comedian that was headlining clubs.

[1450] And most often when you're headlining clubs, you have fans, but you also have people that are like, oh, let's go to the comedy club.

[1451] Right.

[1452] Whereas when you're headlining theaters, your name is on the marquee.

[1453] They came to see you.

[1454] And that can fuck you up.

[1455] For sure.

[1456] But I also made a decision backstage in Iowa City before I walked down on stage, I thought I got to let go of this feeling of pressure.

[1457] And I have to hope that whoever's out there in the audience that has any sort of expectations about what I'm going to say or do, that they will be open to and embrace whatever I choose to do tonight.

[1458] Because I hope that they're a fan of mine and not just a fan of hearing comedy about cancer.

[1459] I walked down on stage and I just did whatever I wanted, talked to about whatever I wanted, and it was not cancer -related.

[1460] And the cancer files were okay with it.

[1461] That's right.

[1462] The love and excitement and acceptance in that room that night, I'm like, Iowa City, man, you're not going to shake me ever.

[1463] I love going back there.

[1464] And it was just a pivotal moment for me because that's when I realized in order to make the audience happy, I have to be happy.

[1465] And so I try not to get concerned with that.

[1466] What they expect or want?

[1467] No, because If a performer is enjoying themselves.

[1468] Well, that's the journey of self -love, right?

[1469] Which is, I'm enough, period.

[1470] I'll be enough if I'm talking about a grocery store experience.

[1471] I'll be enough if I talk about my cancer experience.

[1472] That's hopefully maybe the journey of life, which is like, no, no, I'm fine and worthy of all things.

[1473] I agree.

[1474] And I've been asked many times about being a female comedian or being the gay comedian or the cancer comedian.

[1475] The gay cancer comedian.

[1476] Yeah.

[1477] People ask all the time, like, are you worried about being pigeonholed?

[1478] And honestly, I don't care if people call me the lesbian comedian or the cancer comedian, it has nothing to do with me. That's your choice.

[1479] You can call me the worst comedian.

[1480] That also does not have anything to do with me. And so I just don't worry myself about that.

[1481] But in moments of insecurity, it would be.

[1482] easy for me to convince myself that it was the story that made people love that set.

[1483] It was the circumstances.

[1484] But in fact, we would know, and a healthiest version of yourself would recognize it.

[1485] No, no, it was that experience going through my point of view.

[1486] It's my point of view that's the quintessential ingredient, not the story, not the event.

[1487] It's actually the way I synthesize everything that's so appealing to other people.

[1488] Fans from before 2012 would say, pisses me off, that this is what it took you to have cancer for people to like you or people to know you.

[1489] And I was like, I don't know if I am clueless or stupid, but in my mind, I don't even think of it as that.

[1490] I think of it like I was doing what I always did, which is stand up.

[1491] And I, of course, was talking about cancer.

[1492] But that's how I see it.

[1493] That's the truth.

[1494] Because there's a lot of people that had the same series of events that would try to process it on stage.

[1495] And people wouldn't have been talking about it.

[1496] The events are almost inert.

[1497] There are things that could happen anyone and some people are great telling that story and some people are not.

[1498] I had a very crazy experience in Edinburgh when I was doing stand -up at the festival several years ago.

[1499] This woman came up to me and she said, hey, David Sedaris is performing in town.

[1500] He wasn't able to go to your show.

[1501] He wanted me to and invite you to meet him at this place for dinner.

[1502] And I was like, oh, okay.

[1503] And it seemed a little odd.

[1504] I had met David through this American life.

[1505] He's not like a close friend or anything.

[1506] So I do my show and I didn't commit to it.

[1507] I was just like, okay, thank you.

[1508] And then I thought, well, I'll get a taxi and go to this place.

[1509] And if it seems legit.

[1510] Okay.

[1511] So I take a taxi over there and I pull up and David Sedaris is standing.

[1512] outside.

[1513] And I'm like, this is insane.

[1514] And we go in to this nice restaurant.

[1515] We have truly like a four or five hour dinner.

[1516] But he had just lost his sister.

[1517] And he was really struggling with how to talk about it on stage.

[1518] And he was picking my brain about that.

[1519] Because he was like, I can't make it funny.

[1520] Actually, now that I'm talking about this, I wonder if he wouldn't appreciate.

[1521] I don't know.

[1522] He's our most frequent guest.

[1523] And I've developed this friendship with him.

[1524] I feel confident that he would like this.

[1525] Yeah.

[1526] Yeah.

[1527] I can also ask him before we are.

[1528] I mean, he's honest about everything.

[1529] Well, that's the thing.

[1530] I stopped and wonder because it was a very intimate.

[1531] It was also just like a nice fun dinner, but he was really wanting to talk about his sister and find some levity there.

[1532] And I found myself in this place of, I don't even know what to tell somebody.

[1533] Right.

[1534] Just because I did it, doesn't mean I understand how I did it.

[1535] Yeah.

[1536] I didn't even know what.

[1537] what to tell him.

[1538] And I was also a little stunned to even be trying to give David Sedaris any comedic advice.

[1539] Anything.

[1540] Even just being at a dinner with him, I was like, I'm not worthy to be here.

[1541] Of course.

[1542] Much less give you any sort of advice.

[1543] I can tell you where the bathroom was.

[1544] I went before you, but that's about it.

[1545] You're going to go past the kitchen and it's on the left.

[1546] Were you going to say, Monty?

[1547] No, I was just saying, how flattering.

[1548] Oh, it was so flattering.

[1549] Yeah.

[1550] I've had that with a few other people where they've asked, how do I get into this?

[1551] What do I do?

[1552] And man, was I not sure how to do what I even did?

[1553] Yeah.

[1554] Right.

[1555] I relate to that a lot.

[1556] I'm sure.

[1557] I don't know how I do anything I do that people might want to replicate.

[1558] I'm not sure.

[1559] And I'm afraid if I figured it out, I would not be able to do it anymore.

[1560] I'd say more than half of your life only makes sense 10 years later.

[1561] And it only makes sense because we're storytellers when we figure out how to make it make sense.

[1562] But it doesn't make any fucking sense.

[1563] I remember one of the things that my therapist said that I just love so much.

[1564] He had said that you can never tear out a chapter in your book of life, that you should share it all.

[1565] Because if even one chapter is missing, then the whole book makes no sense.

[1566] And I was like, oh, yeah, that's great.

[1567] I love that.

[1568] I love that.

[1569] Thank you so much.

[1570] It's true.

[1571] It's just that constant moving toward honesty.

[1572] and authenticity and reality.

[1573] Once in a while you have those moments where all these seemingly disconnected pursuits all come together.

[1574] Yeah.

[1575] Oh, wow.

[1576] I was into drumming and I was into stand -up and I love short stories.

[1577] You know, whatever the scenario.

[1578] I know the fact that you were nominated for a Grammy when you were super into music, but you were nominated for a comedy.

[1579] Like how crazy.

[1580] Yeah.

[1581] You grew up, I'm sure, thinking about the Grammys.

[1582] Yeah.

[1583] And then you do end up there.

[1584] but for something sort of completely different.

[1585] To give Edie Brickell her Grammy.

[1586] That's right.

[1587] That's why I was there.

[1588] Later, she could write the theme song to your podcast.

[1589] It all just falls into place naturally.

[1590] Okay, well, I'm referencing a lot.

[1591] Your book, I'm just a person, and it's wonderful, and I hope people read it.

[1592] Also, I love the doc, but I think Monica, you would love it because she went through the whole fertility process and had eggs, and then they didn't take to the host, and oh, my God, it's fucking heartbreaking.

[1593] Monica just did a show about freezing her eggs.

[1594] that's great.

[1595] I did have a weird question to ask you.

[1596] How weird.

[1597] This requires you to maybe try to articulate your appeal, which is a very dicey position to put someone in, but I'll start first.

[1598] I think that I have appealed the boys in this very weird way I've come to figure out, which is I ride motorcycles, I have muscles, I have been in lots of fist fights, and I love emotions and talking about addiction.

[1599] and failing and crying and being molested and all these things that boys aren't really supposed to talk about.

[1600] And so I think for boys, they're like, there's a way that I can share all this emotional stuff.

[1601] And I was thinking about you on my hike today, listening to your book.

[1602] And I was thinking, I know so many women who are really, really, really drawn to you.

[1603] They love your comedy, but there's another layer to it.

[1604] And as I was thinking about it, I'm going to suggest, because your comedic tone has always been very dry and very kind of monotone -esque.

[1605] It's not been performative or people -pleasy at all.

[1606] And I can imagine for a woman to see another woman not jumping through all the hoops to comfort everybody at all times and please them, that you might be inspirational in that same way.

[1607] Have you A ever thought about that?

[1608] Is that a weird point to make?

[1609] I don't think about it.

[1610] come across as someone who's not people -pleasery, just because of the tone of your comedy.

[1611] It's so funny.

[1612] I don't feel like I am, except with my kids and my wife.

[1613] And it is new for me because they've only been in my life for 10 years.

[1614] I love seeing myself bend over backwards and do whatever anything takes.

[1615] To keep that thing from exploding.

[1616] Yeah.

[1617] Or just like everyone to be happy and get what they want.

[1618] I mean, obviously, I don't nail it all the time.

[1619] and I'm not always bending over backwards all the time.

[1620] But I know that it comes up where other comedians will say, when I go on stage, I'm just desperate.

[1621] And they're like, you don't feel at all desperate.

[1622] Any comedian with a very slow tempo seems extra brave because you're living in a lot of quietness before the joke comes.

[1623] And so I think a lot of comedians admire other comedians.

[1624] Ellen, I would always watch her.

[1625] And I just go, my God, her confidence to let it.

[1626] to the breaking point is admirable.

[1627] I'm too much of an approval junkie to ever live in it that long.

[1628] So I think there's that.

[1629] Other comedians admiring the confidence it takes to have the tempo you have and a few other comedians have had.

[1630] I do think there's another layer which is gender -based.

[1631] I'm a fan and I agree.

[1632] I do think there's a sense of confidence and you don't need approval.

[1633] And I don't know if you need approval or not, but it comes off as if you don't.

[1634] And yeah, we're all walking around, like, the way to be a successful woman is to gain everyone's approval, which is fucked up.

[1635] But that's what we're ingrained to believe.

[1636] And then to see someone who's successful, funny, great, and doesn't necessarily.

[1637] And also specifically male approval, it's like, yes, I want that.

[1638] I want to be that.

[1639] I mean, I can't act like I don't enjoy approval.

[1640] I know.

[1641] I mean, you're a person.

[1642] Yeah.

[1643] I love having good shows.

[1644] And I like when, when people tell me I did a good job with stuff.

[1645] But I also go back to my mother.

[1646] She raised me, like if anyone has a problem with you, tell them to go to hell.

[1647] And it's hard when you hear that your whole life to shake it.

[1648] I remember she was at the gym.

[1649] My mother was very beautiful, and not that you have to be beautiful for someone to flirt with you.

[1650] Never hurt.

[1651] Yeah, it doesn't hurt.

[1652] But this guy came up.

[1653] She said he was flirting with me. And then he made some derogatory, homophobic comment, like, thinking that was going to make me laugh.

[1654] And she said, uh, uh, uh, talking to the wrong person, my daughter's gay, you know?

[1655] Yeah.

[1656] Like, just stopped it right there.

[1657] Wrong person, buddy.

[1658] Turn around.

[1659] Yeah, go right to hell.

[1660] And so it's kind of like what you're saying when you're dating the sweet spot with the gas, how far people should go to hell and when to tell them to go to hell.

[1661] Yeah.

[1662] And does everyone need to go to hell?

[1663] Right.

[1664] I am a patient person and I don't fly off the handle easily.

[1665] And I try and give people the benefit of the doubt, you know, if they're not calling back or something's delayed or they're late.

[1666] You're compassionate.

[1667] Yeah.

[1668] I try and think, okay, hopefully they're not in a car accident.

[1669] Hopefully something didn't happen.

[1670] Our mom didn't just die.

[1671] Right.

[1672] And it might be because I went through that stuff where I'm like, a lot of things can happen in a sense.

[1673] second.

[1674] And so I do have that in me. But then when it does get to a point, they can go straight to hell.

[1675] And I probably carry that on stage with me. I carry it everywhere.

[1676] Not that I'm right or that I'm good at what I'm doing or that I'm the best or any of that.

[1677] So I have a good dose of go to hell well and I delineate between who deserves go to hell not is like if you disagree with me fine if you maybe disapprove of me if you attempt to shame me for who I am that's very clear and simple for me you can go to hell I don't have time for that and I think that's probably similar for me but yeah when somebody can go to hell they can really go to hell they can burn up down there don't stop don't even pick up snacks just go straight to hell okay okay oh you have a new podcast that comes out August 22nd.

[1678] Great theme song.

[1679] Well, this isn't E .D. Brickle.

[1680] That was for professor.

[1681] No. No, that's long gone.

[1682] Is it annoying that you've been in the podcast game for so long and then everyone finally joined?

[1683] You can be honest.

[1684] No. I don't care.

[1685] Okay, great.

[1686] Some people are annoyed.

[1687] I understand.

[1688] Yeah.

[1689] It's like a child being born.

[1690] There's a podcast born every minute.

[1691] There's so many similar bands.

[1692] There's so many similar.

[1693] documentaries.

[1694] There's similar books.

[1695] There's space.

[1696] And people have personalities that they bring to it that make it different.

[1697] But yeah, I was an early podcast.

[1698] You've been at it for like 13 years maybe or more.

[1699] Yeah.

[1700] I still have a show called Don't Ask Tig.

[1701] And that's what Edie Burkell wrote the theme song for.

[1702] And then I am on a hiatus from my other podcast that is actually about documentaries.

[1703] So handsome, which is brand new, hasn't started yet.

[1704] It's you and fortune fiendster.

[1705] Now, is she the fortune I met when doing the Chelsea Lately show.

[1706] Yes.

[1707] She was a writer on there and a performer.

[1708] A performer.

[1709] She's so funny.

[1710] Stand up, sketch, improv.

[1711] Yeah.

[1712] She's a machine.

[1713] And May Martin.

[1714] May Martin is a stand up from Toronto who lived in England and is now in Los Angeles.

[1715] And my wife does improv with May on a regular basis.

[1716] Anyway, the three of us.

[1717] Talk about who's handsome.

[1718] I hope.

[1719] Well, nobody more handsome than the three of us.

[1720] It is funny when I'm reading older literature, how often they would refer to women as being handsome.

[1721] It doesn't sound super flattering nowadays.

[1722] Well, it depends on what kind of woman you are.

[1723] It does.

[1724] Yeah.

[1725] But I think if we just did like a guess of what percentage of the country, women would love being told they're handsome.

[1726] I think it's a low percentage.

[1727] There's handsome men, there's handsome women.

[1728] There's a handsome suit.

[1729] A beautiful woman can have on a very handsome suit.

[1730] The word feels a little flexible and fluid.

[1731] fluid in the way human beings are.

[1732] Whether you like the word or not.

[1733] I love it.

[1734] I'm so excited to be part of a handsome podcast.

[1735] Okay, so that starts August 22nd, but also you are going on tour.

[1736] Well, I've been going on tour for decades.

[1737] It won't stop.

[1738] The tour continues.

[1739] And I'm shooting my next stand -up special in Brooklyn, November 4th, Kings Theater.

[1740] So you'll be shooting a new stand -up special is at tig nataro .com, T -I -G -N -O -T -A -R -O -com.

[1741] TIG, this was delightful, as was probably palpable at the beginning.

[1742] My wife is in love with you.

[1743] Your wife is a joy and was so fun to work with, even though our project disintegrated.

[1744] Well, let's be honest, it went the way that 99 % of projects go.

[1745] Yes.

[1746] There's some might -be -life for it.

[1747] Nope.

[1748] I know.

[1749] I did.

[1750] But it was very fun to work with her.

[1751] All you can do is have fun while you're, you're making the shit or trying to make the shit, because who knows what happens after that.

[1752] Could you pronounce your birth name for me?

[1753] Matt Thiel.

[1754] And then your brother's got a great name, too.

[1755] He's Renault.

[1756] Renno.

[1757] R -E -N -A -U -D.

[1758] Renno.

[1759] And hit me with your name again?

[1760] TIG.

[1761] Well, the birth, the birth one.

[1762] Mattiel.

[1763] But it's spelled M -A -L -D -E.

[1764] Yeah.

[1765] O -C -L -A -L -A -H -A -L -A -H -A -L -H -A -L -H -A -L -A -L -R.

[1766] O -C -A -L -H -L -A -N -A -R.

[1767] What a fucking name.

[1768] I know.

[1769] Oh, Callahan, Nataro.

[1770] And then we were just like, let's just name our kids, Max and Finn.

[1771] There you go, easy.

[1772] I want you to go back to this full birth name and release a product worthy of it.

[1773] I don't know if it's a really high -end salt, like from the Caspian Sea or something, but this is a great full name for a really high -end.

[1774] Matililahan Notaro.

[1775] Yes.

[1776] The O 'Callaghan's a big left turn.

[1777] I'm not going to sell any of my salt.

[1778] None of my salt.

[1779] Okay.

[1780] Okay, TIG, what a pleasure.

[1781] I hope we see you again soon.

[1782] Good luck with everything.

[1783] I really appreciate it.

[1784] Again, handsome.

[1785] It premieres on the 22nd.

[1786] So go follow our socials as well as sign up or whatever.

[1787] Follow the show.

[1788] Subscribe.

[1789] I thought I was in the podcasting business forever.

[1790] No, you're not showing that.

[1791] Yeah, I know.

[1792] You seem like you're dipping one toe into the water.

[1793] I'm sorry.

[1794] Like and subscribe.

[1795] Like and subscribe.

[1796] And then we will start talking into your ears on.

[1797] The 22nd.

[1798] Handsome podcast.

[1799] Yeah.

[1800] All right.

[1801] Stay tuned for the fact check so you can hear all the facts that were wrong.

[1802] Who's this purple truck out there?

[1803] Huge jacked up purple truck.

[1804] That would be so great.

[1805] Wobby Wob started driving a big jacked up four by four.

[1806] So great.

[1807] So off brand.

[1808] It mixed messies.

[1809] There was a Wobbywob sighting yesterday.

[1810] Happy birthday to.

[1811] I started too high.

[1812] Happy birthday to you.

[1813] Happy birthday to you.

[1814] Happy birthday.

[1815] Most people don't take a breath in the middle of it.

[1816] It's okay.

[1817] To Monica.

[1818] Happy birthday to you.

[1819] Still too high.

[1820] That's an Easter egg for an upcoming episode.

[1821] I got confused that it was from a previous one.

[1822] No, upcoming.

[1823] It's kind of ruined birthday.

[1824] Like, I had to sing happy birthday last night to a friend.

[1825] And you were super conscious of the tempo.

[1826] That's an Easter egg.

[1827] so stay tuned.

[1828] Stay tuned.

[1829] Also, should I unveil the world's grossest song that I invented some 20 years ago?

[1830] Yes.

[1831] Trigger warning.

[1832] Also, don't be eating when I sing this.

[1833] It's so embarrassing.

[1834] It's so embarrassing to make you puke.

[1835] Right.

[1836] Somehow on the ride home from Seattle one time in the car, I made this song up with Bree.

[1837] And this is an alternative birthday song.

[1838] So it goes, Happy birthday to you.

[1839] Happy birthday to me. Happy birthday.

[1840] to he and she.

[1841] Happy birthday to the world.

[1842] Yeah.

[1843] Oh, God, I almost myself throw up.

[1844] But, okay, this is funny.

[1845] Of all the things that almost make you throw up, I'm surprised it's that.

[1846] It doesn't bother me that much.

[1847] It doesn't.

[1848] No, I mean, I think it's funny.

[1849] It's so self -indulgent.

[1850] It's happy birthday to me. But I'm not singing it.

[1851] Happy birthday to he and she.

[1852] I know, but.

[1853] It would be gross if I, sang it on my own birthday but you're singing it you know right it's just really weird presumably it's someone's birthday but you're saying happy birthday to you yeah birthday to me every birthday to he and she wait why is it about he and she and me and now happy birthday to the world oh it's kind of like taking away from the person absolutely it was a throwaway at the top like happy and now it's about happy birthday and that's when it really gets jazzy when it's about me Okay.

[1854] He and she.

[1855] And it's terrible.

[1856] I thought you invented that on your own birthday.

[1857] About yourself.

[1858] That would be very normal for us to be driving home from Seattle on my birthday because at the end of a Christmas break.

[1859] So that's certainly why happy birthday was on the mind.

[1860] Okay.

[1861] And why we, how this song got created.

[1862] Okay.

[1863] There's a lot of great songs came out of those trips home.

[1864] Another fan, you want to hear one more famous one?

[1865] Sure.

[1866] We were driving with our friend and her daughter and her daughter.

[1867] farted and I said you got to squeeze your cheeks and then I came up with this song you ready don't look at me or I'll just close I'll cover my eyes squeeze your cheeks squeeze your cheeks the American way wow oh no squeeze your cheeks the American way yeah we heard it um yeah that to me that's the one makes you want to throw that one's worse oh wow yeah oh no that one I like like like that When I went stand on a stage and say, oh, yeah.

[1868] Squeeze your cheeks, squeeze your cheeks.

[1869] Okay.

[1870] All right.

[1871] Happy birthday.

[1872] Thanks.

[1873] You're welcome.

[1874] Thank you.

[1875] Big day.

[1876] Three times three.

[1877] I mean three times two.

[1878] Ooh, three times three.

[1879] Then I'd be 90.

[1880] That's my 39th.

[1881] Yes.

[1882] Three squared.

[1883] We're a little, we're three years away from that.

[1884] We refer to yourself as three squared when you're 39.

[1885] I should.

[1886] I got to tell you something.

[1887] I started watching a doc.

[1888] This untold series.

[1889] It's great.

[1890] God, are they good?

[1891] And I don't think, to my knowledge, have they ever done a multiple episode one?

[1892] But they just dropped one.

[1893] Okay.

[1894] And it's about the Florida Gators.

[1895] Oh, uh -oh.

[1896] Like 0 -607.

[1897] Look, I'm an angry little mouse on my birthday.

[1898] They're my nemesis.

[1899] Sickum.

[1900] They're an enemy just like Roll Tide.

[1901] Yes.

[1902] Well, it's a great, incredible docus.

[1903] series, and it has gotten me very excited for college football for the first time in my life.

[1904] I've only watched, I don't know, four or five college football games.

[1905] Most of them, you're Atlanta, your Georgia dog, sickham, and roll tide.

[1906] No. And so now.

[1907] If you say, Dax, I'm telling you now.

[1908] Tell me now.

[1909] If you start rooting for the gators, like, we really are going to have a problem.

[1910] I'm not going to root for the gators, but it's, what an incredible journey they took.

[1911] And this is like Tim Tebow time.

[1912] I didn't even know.

[1913] Here's what I knew about Tim Tebow.

[1914] I knew that there was a few, there was a spell during, I don't know how many seasons ago, five, six seasons ago in the NFL where everyone was obsessed with this Tim Tebow guy.

[1915] I'm like, who is he?

[1916] Well, he prays after every play.

[1917] That, of course, for me was a little.

[1918] He's very religious.

[1919] Yeah.

[1920] Yeah, it's just like praying after every play.

[1921] Maybe that was an exaggeration.

[1922] But whatever.

[1923] I was like, you know what, go to church, do your thing.

[1924] I'm not holding an A meeting's in the middle of my, whatever.

[1925] Well, yeah.

[1926] I'm going to piss people up.

[1927] That's true.

[1928] If you can protest stuff, which I do support.

[1929] Yeah.

[1930] He can do it.

[1931] It was like touchdown dance was praying.

[1932] Oh, it was?

[1933] Something like that.

[1934] That feels like it's out of the symptoms.

[1935] Now, you guys, everyone has now gotten way off.

[1936] I don't think it was every play.

[1937] You want to time for that.

[1938] You've got like a. I think he is very, it's a thing.

[1939] Oh, yeah, he's super religious.

[1940] Let me, I'm going to redeem myself.

[1941] If you're a Christian.

[1942] and you've just turned it off and screamed at me. Hold on a second.

[1943] So I was the little judgmental.

[1944] Come back.

[1945] Come back.

[1946] I was a little.

[1947] Judgmental.

[1948] It's okay to admit that.

[1949] You changed your mind.

[1950] Yes.

[1951] Yes.

[1952] I don't.

[1953] Oh, now I'm going to go on a tangent.

[1954] You know, I watched a lot of boxing growing up.

[1955] And then when they would win, they would say God let them win.

[1956] And I thought, but then you're saying God made the other person lose.

[1957] I don't like it.

[1958] Anyways.

[1959] Okay.

[1960] Forget that.

[1961] That's all I knew about Tim Teap Bowl.

[1962] Now I watch this doc.

[1963] I love Tim Tebow.

[1964] No. That's not.

[1965] Hold on.

[1966] Don't worry.

[1967] He's not playing for the Gators anymore.

[1968] I don't like him at all.

[1969] Okay.

[1970] Now you don't even like.

[1971] Well, maybe I don't.

[1972] You don't see eye to eye.

[1973] Not because he prays after every.

[1974] Maybe he's a jackass.

[1975] Oh my gosh.

[1976] Oh my God.

[1977] I said it.

[1978] Hold on.

[1979] We played him.

[1980] It wasn't like we crossed over.

[1981] Yes.

[1982] When I was there.

[1983] Well, they rolled right over the door.

[1984] I'm just saying they went under.

[1985] I'm sorry.

[1986] forget that that's not the point it's my birthday okay happy birthday wow so okay he was entirely homeschooled like never ever went to a school he worked on this farm he's enormous right he's a big farm boy think of going from never being at a school to showing up at the university of florida in the swamp with i don't know how many students they have 10 ,000 it's enormous It's a big school, yeah.

[1987] Big school, and they're all so excited he's there because he's like the top recruit out of high school that year.

[1988] So he goes from no classmates ever to 10 ,000 that are obsessed with them.

[1989] What a bizarre, like that's just worth, like, talk about a light switch.

[1990] He immediately befriends the absolute last person you would think he would befriend on the team, this guy, Stiler.

[1991] I think that's his name.

[1992] Harry Stiles.

[1993] Harry Stiles.

[1994] Brendan Stiles.

[1995] He was the defensive, you know, huge star.

[1996] kind of leader of the team and he this dude's hard core okay he's not praying after everything he's banging beers back at night and tibo's like i want to hang out with you because you're the fiercest person on this team and those two start working out in a manner that no one was ready for and they become bros because they're so hell bent on being good okay and you cannot help but like this guy he works so hard impossibly hard it just made me really excited for college football for the first Well, I'm excited for you, for me, that you like it.

[1997] Yeah.

[1998] We'll watch some games together this season.

[1999] Maybe you'll get so into it and maybe we'll go back to the national championship.

[2000] Although they get rid of the 36 year old, oh, I'll knock on one with you.

[2001] Happy birthday.

[2002] That 36 year old quarterback, he's got to be gone now, though, isn't he?

[2003] You're not 36.

[2004] What is he?

[2005] No, he's still in his 20s.

[2006] No, he's great.

[2007] He's gone, though, right?

[2008] I think.

[2009] I don't know.

[2010] I have a lot to ask my friend Robbie.

[2011] Yeah, he's kind of your...

[2012] He's my go -to.

[2013] I have to ask him about who the quarterback is.

[2014] I have to ask why exactly we hate Tim Tebow.

[2015] Yeah, you got to get some details on.

[2016] Yeah, that makes sense.

[2017] Some clarification.

[2018] There are reasons other than the fact that they beat us.

[2019] Yeah.

[2020] He's just very Florida.

[2021] We hate Florida.

[2022] I love Disney World, but I hate the Gators, okay?

[2023] Okay.

[2024] I'm on record saying that.

[2025] Sorry to all our armed cherry gators.

[2026] I love you guys.

[2027] Yes.

[2028] But I hate the gators.

[2029] Everyone loves their team.

[2030] I'm a hater.

[2031] I don't really have any feelings towards the Bruins.

[2032] So I guess I'm like the worst of the worst.

[2033] UCLA, well, you have positive feelings about having gone there.

[2034] I fucking love the school.

[2035] I just don't have that like.

[2036] But that's because.

[2037] I don't like, I guess if I see there in the final four or whatever, I'll be happy, I guess.

[2038] But I don't, I'm not, but not like you with the dog, sick them.

[2039] I'll sick him.

[2040] But the thing is, UCLA isn't, even though they have good sports, it's not a school that rallies around the sports.

[2041] There's no tailgating, really, like in parking lots, maybe.

[2042] It's not the same.

[2043] I will think the best thing about the Bruin Games is they're in Pasadena at the Rose Bowl.

[2044] And you park on the golf course.

[2045] I know.

[2046] It's a great place to hang.

[2047] But then you have to drive from the campus to Pasadena.

[2048] It's like none of this is.

[2049] It's not conducive.

[2050] For college students.

[2051] You're right.

[2052] You need to be able to stumble home blindly drunk.

[2053] And stop by bourbon street on the way.

[2054] Oh, they have a bourbon street?

[2055] Yeah, it's called it's called Bourbon Street.

[2056] It was a bar.

[2057] Oh, that was the name of the bar.

[2058] Yeah.

[2059] It was the bar back then.

[2060] I don't know if it's still there where freshmen could get in.

[2061] We're like you could use a sort of dumb looking ID and still get in.

[2062] And that is where my first.

[2063] first main drink was amaretto sour.

[2064] Wow.

[2065] Yeah.

[2066] Right.

[2067] We drink so many amaretto sours at Bourbon Street.

[2068] That sounds a little too sweet.

[2069] It's disgusting.

[2070] Yeah.

[2071] Now, drinking licorice or something.

[2072] I can't even imagine having an amaretto sour now.

[2073] Okay.

[2074] But yeah, I guess what I'm saying is UCLA is more known for its academics over its sports, even though, again, they have good sports, but it's not, the school doesn't rally.

[2075] Yeah, but I just want to, we would have to fact check.

[2076] I think UCLA does have more championships than most other schools.

[2077] I said they have good sports.

[2078] Okay.

[2079] But it's, the school itself is not.

[2080] It's not sports first.

[2081] Yeah, like University of Florida is Gators first.

[2082] It is.

[2083] You go there because you love the Gators, I think.

[2084] Exactly.

[2085] And they actually, I got in a fight with someone because it's actually, uh -oh.

[2086] Certain degrees are really good there.

[2087] They have good programs.

[2088] Sure.

[2089] I don't want to, I hate them still.

[2090] And I got in a fight with someone about that because I was like, there's no way.

[2091] Like, there's absolutely no way.

[2092] Everyone there's stupid.

[2093] Let me guess.

[2094] I'm going to guess what it was they were saying they have a great department of.

[2095] Physio.

[2096] It's not athletics, actually.

[2097] No, no, physical therapy.

[2098] Right, which I connect those two.

[2099] Also, they invented Gatorade.

[2100] They did.

[2101] That's where Gatorade comes from.

[2102] That's why it's called Gatorade.

[2103] Oh, I didn't, I can't drink that.

[2104] Yeah, well.

[2105] I've been drinking.

[2106] you have.

[2107] Damn it.

[2108] It's very sugary.

[2109] So I it makes sense.

[2110] Well, they have a zero.

[2111] They got one one.

[2112] I don't know what's called zero.

[2113] It's better if you drink element.

[2114] Anyway.

[2115] Anywho.

[2116] Agreed.

[2117] So I got, yeah, I got enough.

[2118] It wasn't PT, I don't think, although maybe they have a good PT program, but they, Georgia has a great PT program.

[2119] I know because I have two PT friends that three PT friends I came out of there and they're the best of the best.

[2120] So I don't remember what it was.

[2121] was but I remember I got in a fight because I was like there's no way everyone there's a well dumb dumb no no no but it's not true I don't know I know all this is very timely though because doesn't the season must start really soon yeah yeah what's the first georgie okay I got to get Robbie on the phone he'd be a great guest starts Saturday oh what timing fuck oh my god 11 30 a .m. Navy versus Notre Dame oh my god oh my god the ends are square.

[2122] Wait, but who's Georgia playing?

[2123] I'm a bad fan.

[2124] I am a bad fan.

[2125] I acknowledge that.

[2126] Georgia's first game is September 2nd.

[2127] Oh, okay.

[2128] Against Tennessee Martin.

[2129] We're going to kick their ass.

[2130] Oh, my God.

[2131] Wait, when was it?

[2132] I got distracted.

[2133] September 2nd is Georgia's first game.

[2134] Oh, we have some time.

[2135] Yeah.

[2136] A little breather.

[2137] Yeah.

[2138] Because I don't think you care that much about Notre Dame versus Navy.

[2139] Uh -uh.

[2140] Yeah.

[2141] No. I'm all about the SEC.

[2142] Is that what the dog's playing?

[2143] The SEC?

[2144] Oh, okay.

[2145] I just learned about the SEC in this documentary.

[2146] The SEC is the biggest football conference.

[2147] It's hardcore there.

[2148] Now that you're into it, maybe you'll, we should go to a game.

[2149] You would like, it's so fun.

[2150] Oh, every time they're showing these games, I'm like, I got to go to one of these college games, where they're bananas.

[2151] It's unbelievable.

[2152] Yeah.

[2153] This first game's in Ireland.

[2154] The Notre Dame versus Navy.

[2155] What makes sense?

[2156] That's natural.

[2157] They're kicking off the season in Ireland.

[2158] What conference are they?

[2159] The East Atlantic.

[2160] The Ireland.

[2161] The North Sea Atlantic.

[2162] Oh my God.

[2163] Anyway.

[2164] Anywho.

[2165] Okay, I wanted to bring something up.

[2166] This is sort of a ding, ding, ding.

[2167] Because you mentioned boxing.

[2168] Mm -hmm.

[2169] Because our friend Anna started taking boxing lessons.

[2170] Oh, she did.

[2171] I didn't know that.

[2172] Yeah.

[2173] She really likes it.

[2174] I was with Anna recently, and she was reenacting a story that had to do with somebody touching their face funny.

[2175] Okay.

[2176] And so she put her hand on my face, like to show it.

[2177] Yes.

[2178] And then, you know, we're finishing.

[2179] And then like six minutes later, she said, that was weird when I touched your face.

[2180] Oh.

[2181] And I was like, what do you mean?

[2182] She's like, that felt weird.

[2183] It felt like weird to touch your face.

[2184] And she was like, people like, you don't really touch people's faces.

[2185] No. It didn't feel weird to me to have her hands on my face.

[2186] Yeah.

[2187] But then I started.

[2188] started thinking about it and she's right.

[2189] You don't really touch people's faces very much in life.

[2190] And why do you think?

[2191] I have a strong feeling about why.

[2192] Well, I guess I thought it was because it's pretty intimate.

[2193] Because normally you touch someone's face maybe before you kiss them.

[2194] Oh, uh -huh.

[2195] Like that would be, that's the only reason.

[2196] Or unless you're picking something off someone's face.

[2197] I can think of many friends I had that would freak if someone touched their face.

[2198] I think it's from high school in acne and knowing you shouldn't touch your face because it clogs your pores and that's how you get and then someone else's has got to in your mind it's even dirtier.

[2199] Okay.

[2200] But I think it's acne related because no one cares about if you touch their shoulder or their hand or their form.

[2201] It's like that's where they're worried about acne.

[2202] Oh, that's very practical.

[2203] I think it's pragmatic.

[2204] You do?

[2205] Faces are a little oily, usually.

[2206] Okay.

[2207] So you as a toucher, you don't want to touch someone.

[2208] Not particularly.

[2209] Interesting.

[2210] Interesting.

[2211] I don't mind.

[2212] I'll touch someone with a very greasy face.

[2213] The greased are better.

[2214] It means they're moisturized.

[2215] I even had girlfriends who like kissing great, but like, oh, they don't want you to touch their face.

[2216] They don't want to get acne.

[2217] Okay.

[2218] I understand that.

[2219] But that wasn't what was happening.

[2220] She was like it feels.

[2221] Yes, it feels too intimate.

[2222] Right.

[2223] But then I got really hell bent.

[2224] Then I was like, well, you should feel fine to touch it.

[2225] I got offended.

[2226] Well, then, and then I kept trying to touch her face.

[2227] Oh, and how did she feel about that?

[2228] She hated it.

[2229] She hated it.

[2230] Yeah, okay.

[2231] But I did do it.

[2232] Well, that's what happened in that six minutes.

[2233] She just had a moment where she thought, hmm, would I like that if Monica had done that to me?

[2234] No. I guess, but she didn't herself.

[2235] She felt weird.

[2236] Like the feeling of her.

[2237] Oh, the tactile.

[2238] Yeah, her hand on my, when she said it, I was like, yeah, I guess.

[2239] And I was like, but it's fine.

[2240] She was like, yeah.

[2241] Like, she really didn't like it.

[2242] And then I was like, well, okay.

[2243] And then you felt like you were gross.

[2244] Yes.

[2245] And then she said, no, it's soft.

[2246] Yeah, it's beautiful.

[2247] And then you always starts kissing you.

[2248] No, soft I really like it.

[2249] Yeah, I think acne is a great hypothesis theory.

[2250] But I think also it's just very intimate.

[2251] I think you're really only touching someone's face in a very romantic situation or sexual situation.

[2252] Like a baby member.

[2253] You know, my children.

[2254] Right.

[2255] Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[2256] But not, but not like my mom.

[2257] Oh, I always caressed my mom's face.

[2258] You do?

[2259] No. Oh.

[2260] I mean, you might.

[2261] You're close with your mom.

[2262] You guys are affectionate.

[2263] Hey, yeah, yeah.

[2264] Not in a bad way.

[2265] You just hug a lot and it's like you're, you're her husband.

[2266] I knew that was the subtext.

[2267] That's exactly why I was pausing you.

[2268] No, you do hug her.

[2269] It's really nice.

[2270] She's my girl.

[2271] And she hug, like, she hugs your sister.

[2272] You guys, it's a snugly family, yeah.

[2273] Yeah, I hug my sister every time I see her.

[2274] So I could see face touching being in that.

[2275] You're right.

[2276] It's very intimate.

[2277] I would never touch my dad's face.

[2278] What if he was on fire?

[2279] Well, of course.

[2280] I would save his life.

[2281] He's my dad.

[2282] He hasn't called me yet.

[2283] He hasn't?

[2284] Mm -mm.

[2285] Are you upset?

[2286] I'm not upset, but I wonder what's going on.

[2287] I think he doesn't know the date.

[2288] No, he does.

[2289] I think he...

[2290] Well, surely your Nirmie was like...

[2291] She called.

[2292] And I'm sure she said to a show, hey, don't forget, it's Monica's birthday.

[2293] She'll say it when he gets home from work, I guess.

[2294] But I think he's scared to know when.

[2295] When the right time to call is?

[2296] Yeah.

[2297] Oh, like he thinks you're at work.

[2298] He doesn't want to bother you.

[2299] And if I answer and I'm like, Dad, I'm at work.

[2300] Like, he doesn't...

[2301] Right.

[2302] Because that, yeah, yeah.

[2303] I wonder why he's scared to call you.

[2304] Can't imagine.

[2305] Dad, I can't.

[2306] Why are you calling me right now?

[2307] I know I'm at work.

[2308] I love you.

[2309] I know.

[2310] I do love him.

[2311] I do.

[2312] Love him a lot.

[2313] Oh, Lordy.

[2314] Yeah.

[2315] Okay.

[2316] Well.

[2317] Oh, I have one thing.

[2318] Jessica underscore Prescott was nice enough to solve the thing I'm always trying to say about the cafeteria I'm convinced your mother likes.

[2319] And I always say loves or lovey.

[2320] Lubbies.

[2321] L -U -B -Y -A -posterfy S. Lobys.

[2322] That's the cafeteria I'm thinking that your mom likes.

[2323] Well, it, it's not, it's not, I'm calling her.

[2324] I'm calling her right now, yes.

[2325] She can't.

[2326] She's taking, she's at the doctor with my grandma, my grandpa.

[2327] Well, we'll see.

[2328] It's even better if your grandma's there for, no, they're like, it's, I think, stressful.

[2329] It's not a good time.

[2330] It's not Lubbys.

[2331] I've never even heard of that.

[2332] Okay.

[2333] Let me just call her and find out.

[2334] Oh my God, Dax.

[2335] Happy birthday.

[2336] They're going to, she's, she's got to answer because she has to worry, but why would I call her as much?

[2337] Exactly.

[2338] I know.

[2339] It's not fair.

[2340] That's mean.

[2341] Hi, Dax.

[2342] Hi, Nermie.

[2343] How are you?

[2344] Good.

[2345] How are you?

[2346] Good.

[2347] Now, I need you to answer something.

[2348] Mom, I'm here too.

[2349] Don't worry.

[2350] I'm safe.

[2351] And of course, we're recording.

[2352] But I am convinced, I have it in my mind that you like Lubby's cafeteria, L -U -B -Y -A -P -S.

[2353] Did I imagine that or do you like that?

[2354] You imagine that.

[2355] Yeah, I knew it.

[2356] Yeah, because I never, I know, is that, that's been like based in Texas or something.

[2357] I've heard about it, but I, yeah, it's just a typical cafeteria.

[2358] I know, but, Mom, you love cafeterias.

[2359] You guys speak really loud.

[2360] Yeah, I do like cafeteria food.

[2361] Monica's right about that.

[2362] Yeah.

[2363] But which one do you like?

[2364] But Loubies, I've never been there or anything like that.

[2365] What is your favorite of the chains of cafeterias?

[2366] I mean, it used to be Morrison.

[2367] They're not even around anymore.

[2368] Oh, we lost.

[2369] So many, there's, yeah, Morrison's, there used to be Piccadilly.

[2370] They're, you know, I mean, before all these buffets came into existence, it used to be cafeterias.

[2371] Yes, yes, yes.

[2372] All right, well, I'm so sorry I misrepresented you.

[2373] I really had it in my mind you like Loeys.

[2374] But I probably would like it.

[2375] I'm going to take you there.

[2376] That's what's going to happen.

[2377] I'm inviting you to Lubbies or Lubies or whatever it is.

[2378] Yeah, sounds good to me. Okay, well, I just wanted to thank you for making Monica on this day of her birth.

[2379] You're welcome.

[2380] I'm happy about that, too.

[2381] I would have way less money if you didn't make her.

[2382] Okay, love you, Mom.

[2383] Love you.

[2384] Okay.

[2385] Bye -bye.

[2386] Oh, my God, that was wonderful.

[2387] She's cute.

[2388] She is.

[2389] I'm taking her to Lubbys.

[2390] We're going to eat everything they sell.

[2391] Catfish.

[2392] Yes, she would eat that.

[2393] She would.

[2394] Oh, she gets down.

[2395] Well, she's from Savannah.

[2396] Well, exactly.

[2397] So Loveys is not in.

[2398] the South.

[2399] I think, well, I guess, or Texas.

[2400] Well, you look up Lubbys.

[2401] I do think she made that Texas part up.

[2402] It sounded very believable.

[2403] I know.

[2404] She's like me. Well, because of Lutonbach, Louvre.

[2405] No, they're in Texas.

[2406] Oh, my God.

[2407] Lubach, Texas?

[2408] They're only in Texas.

[2409] Okay.

[2410] She was like, I've never heard of that.

[2411] It's as places in Texas.

[2412] Lukanbach Texas.

[2413] Maybe she has that in her mind.

[2414] How'd she know that?

[2415] Do you think it's Lubbies or Lubbys?

[2416] Well, how is it spelled?

[2417] L -U -B -Y -S.

[2418] I bet it's.

[2419] Oh my gosh there's a train outside You want a commercial?

[2420] Yeah, let's hear it Okay I bet it's a lobby Luby's great though Because Lubricamp It's not free prepared We don't buy it somewhere else Or make it somewhere else At each Lubby's cafeteria Loubies She was right again Wait did she didn't say Did she say it?

[2421] I laughed because I thought she was messing it up.

[2422] For a place she didn't know.

[2423] She knew where it was.

[2424] How to say it.

[2425] She has been eye in that place.

[2426] She has.

[2427] She showed her cards on that one.

[2428] She did.

[2429] She's got to work on that.

[2430] Loobies.

[2431] Oh, man. It's just, you know, you can't get around the lube a part of lubies.

[2432] Well, you can't.

[2433] Yeah.

[2434] I can't.

[2435] You're right.

[2436] Okay.

[2437] Speaking of video clips.

[2438] Oh.

[2439] I'm going to play one.

[2440] Elegant segue.

[2441] Thank you.

[2442] Tig brings up that there's, some sort of sound thing where some people hear one thing and other people hear another thing.

[2443] I found it.

[2444] Okay.

[2445] I'm not going to tell you what's playing.

[2446] Yes.

[2447] Okay.

[2448] You tell me what you hear.

[2449] Okay.

[2450] Okay.

[2451] What do you hear?

[2452] Laurel.

[2453] Yeah, Laurel.

[2454] Like Laurel Canyon.

[2455] I hear Laurel too.

[2456] But I guess some people hear Yanny.

[2457] Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.

[2458] No, no, no. We got to spell these things because if you're in the car and you heard that, You just heard Yanny, and then you said Yanny.

[2459] So they're like, what's the dip?

[2460] So we're hearing L. A, U R -E -L.

[2461] Yes.

[2462] Like Laurel Canyon.

[2463] Like Laurel and Hardy.

[2464] Yep.

[2465] Like Laurelabo.

[2466] And then.

[2467] My sweet, sweet wife.

[2468] Ah.

[2469] And then some people hear Yanny, Y -A -N -N -N -Y.

[2470] Not to be confused with Yeezys.

[2471] Don't confuse it because I re -don't like Kanye because I'm reinvested in Taylor.

[2472] Oh, okay, okay.

[2473] Okay.

[2474] Let me play one more time.

[2475] All right.

[2476] I find it impossible.

[2477] It's like someone hears yams in there.

[2478] I feel the same, like, how, but that's like the blue dress.

[2479] But I've experienced the dress in both gold and blue.

[2480] They affect the picture so that you can try to see it.

[2481] No. No, no, no. That's not what happens.

[2482] So do you, have you ever read the explanation that thing?

[2483] Yeah, we read it on here.

[2484] Oh, okay.

[2485] Right.

[2486] But I don't remember.

[2487] Well, what is not clear is whether it's indoor lighting or outdoor lighting.

[2488] And so your brain fills in.

[2489] Your brain knows if something's indoor, it's blue shifted.

[2490] And if it's outdoor, it's yellow shifted.

[2491] Because the light source is really kind of hard to understand, you can frame your brain into thinking of that being outside or inside.

[2492] And that changes how you see it.

[2493] But even when I tried to see it as gold, I could not see it at all.

[2494] Yeah.

[2495] Until they, they sometimes there's pictures where you can see it.

[2496] And gold.

[2497] Then I'm like, oh, I get it now.

[2498] Yeah, no, I see it.

[2499] No, they affect lighting.

[2500] I don't know, whatever.

[2501] Anyway, Laurel and Nanny.

[2502] Wow, that's fascinating.

[2503] That was, I want to know someone who, okay, sound off in the comments if you, which one you hear.

[2504] Okay, great.

[2505] Sound off.

[2506] Okay.

[2507] Now, how many people live in past Christian where she's from?

[2508] Mm -hmm.

[2509] She said about 4 ,000, 5 ,882 in 2021.

[2510] Gosh, she got so close.

[2511] And probably when she left.

[2512] Well, that's true.

[2513] I don't want to do that.

[2514] Okay.

[2515] You don't want to adjust for inflation?

[2516] I don't.

[2517] You don't want worldwide box office?

[2518] I don't want global box office.

[2519] But she did a great job estimating that.

[2520] Like I always say my town was 10 ,000.

[2521] Who knows?

[2522] Really?

[2523] Milford.

[2524] Look up the population of Milford, Michigan.

[2525] In 1980.

[2526] With inflation?

[2527] Yeah.

[2528] Do it now.

[2529] Way more people move there.

[2530] That's true.

[2531] 6400.

[2532] 6 ,400.

[2533] 100 now.

[2534] Oh my God.

[2535] So that means 3 ,000.

[2536] That's small.

[2537] I don't know.

[2538] Can you do?

[2539] Yeah.

[2540] The 87.

[2541] You're your birth.

[2542] Ding ding dingle fucking dingle.

[2543] Do August 24th, 1980s.

[2544] Population of no permission.

[2545] It's only goes in 90 and 90 it was 5 ,400.

[2546] So less.

[2547] Right.

[2548] That makes sense.

[2549] Yeah.

[2550] So probably an eight.

[2551] Well, no, but five grand.

[2552] Okay, we'll call it five grand.

[2553] Five grand.

[2554] That's what it's five K. Will you look up population Duluth, Georgia?

[2555] What, wait, well, what's your guess before he looks at that?

[2556] Oh, yeah.

[2557] 25 ,000?

[2558] No, 13 ,000.

[2559] 31 ,864.

[2560] You flipped, you flipped it.

[2561] You said 13 is 31.

[2562] Yeah, that's what I heard.

[2563] You were three X off.

[2564] I was dyslexic.

[2565] And I was, I was one X off.

[2566] Wow, it's much bigger than I anticipated it.

[2567] I was closer.

[2568] I was a 23 ,000.

[2569] I never even been there, but I, my, it feels, with the amount of malls and shops and lobbies you have, I thought for sure you are.

[2570] Over 2510.

[2571] Zero Lubbies and zero lubies.

[2572] Well, loobies.

[2573] The show I was talking about, I called it the smack.

[2574] It's called the slap.

[2575] You called it the smack?

[2576] I thought you called it the slap.

[2577] I think I called it the smack.

[2578] Okay, and it's the smack.

[2579] It's the slap.

[2580] I'm teasing.

[2581] I'm just trying to confuse everyone.

[2582] The slap, yeah.

[2583] I remember it.

[2584] It's the slap.

[2585] Okay.

[2586] It was an NBC show, wasn't it?

[2587] It was, I think, CBS.

[2588] It was, um, uh, NBC, you're right.

[2589] I think I know that because I think I was at the upfronts when they showed the big trailer for that to get all the advertisers excited.

[2590] And I remember thinking, well, that's not, is that, that's not what.

[2591] It is, is it?

[2592] Yeah.

[2593] For Bless This Mess, maybe.

[2594] What year was this?

[2595] No, because this is 2015.

[2596] For, for Parent House.

[2597] Parent sauce was still happening in 2015?

[2598] I think so.

[2599] No. I think so.

[2600] Maybe.

[2601] 2015 is when it ended.

[2602] Okay.

[2603] And you go to Upfronts, you know, before it airs.

[2604] Okay, that makes sense.

[2605] I just, I knew you when you shot the finale, but I knew you barely at that point.

[2606] Like I was babysitting for the day that day.

[2607] Oh.

[2608] Yeah.

[2609] Oh, interesting.

[2610] I remember that.

[2611] I have a great memory.

[2612] You do.

[2613] from most things.

[2614] I really have a great memory.

[2615] I'm happy with mine.

[2616] As I'm writing about my childhood, I'm like, I'm very happy with the amount of stuff I remember.

[2617] It used to be spectacular, like what yours is, I guess.

[2618] Self -reported.

[2619] I don't know if it's, I don't know, like, we need to know who has the best memory in the whole world.

[2620] Rain Man. Okay.

[2621] The character that Rain Man was based on.

[2622] There's been 260 minutes about him.

[2623] And he has virtually the entire.

[2624] Salt Lake City Library memorized.

[2625] It's incredible.

[2626] Okay, but there's so many types of memories.

[2627] Well, there's another, a great 60 minutes, ding, ding, ding.

[2628] So there was another 60 minutes segment called Super Memory.

[2629] You know about this.

[2630] And the gal, the actress that was on taxi, one of the leads of taxi.

[2631] She has it.

[2632] You know, the interval, all these people with Super Memory, where they can tell you, like, any date you throw at them, they'll be like, oh, yeah, I was here, and the weather was this, and I was wearing this.

[2633] And it's just, like, encyclopedic.

[2634] Really?

[2635] They noticed, too, the actor who was on Taxi, I wish I could remember name.

[2636] Mary Lou Henner.

[2637] Yes, Mary Lou Henner.

[2638] They asked to see her closet because people with this super memory also way, way, way over indexed for OCD.

[2639] Oh, and hoarding, right?

[2640] I don't know about hoarding, but her closet was the most color -coordinated, like, organized thing you've ever seen.

[2641] And all of the people on this super memory episode had that in common.

[2642] Wow.

[2643] Okay, that's interesting because there was an episode of revision.

[2644] history.

[2645] I don't remember.

[2646] Oh, yeah, he knows her, did something with her.

[2647] No. He did an He did.

[2648] They used to go to Lovies, rubies.

[2649] He did an episode on memory or hoarding.

[2650] I don't remember which one, but there's a weird crossover there.

[2651] He figured out.

[2652] Oh.

[2653] And it was really good, and I don't remember.

[2654] So my memory, damn it.

[2655] Uh -oh.

[2656] Crack, first crack, 36.

[2657] Shit.

[2658] That's it.

[2659] That's everything.

[2660] Mm -hmm.

[2661] I enjoyed tick.

[2662] quite a bit.

[2663] Me too.

[2664] Me too.

[2665] You know.

[2666] What?

[2667] I'm scared, but what?

[2668] It's a brag.

[2669] So I don't know how to, I'm trying to reverse humble, like I'm trying to concoct a way I can say this without sending disgusting.

[2670] Okay, try it.

[2671] I can.

[2672] I'm just going to own it.

[2673] Okay.

[2674] I think Haitians be Haitian is really still so funny.

[2675] I heard it.

[2676] Okay.

[2677] I heard it.

[2678] And I thought, you know what, that's really something.

[2679] That's really something.

[2680] Even though in the room it got no. Oh, my God.

[2681] Okay.

[2682] It's somewhere.

[2683] Every now and then I'm like digging and then I find a little nugget of gold.

[2684] And I think Haitians be Haitian is so great.

[2685] If I were Haitian, I would have a shirt for sure, maybe even a bumper sticker that said Haitians be Haitian.

[2686] Okay.

[2687] As a way to celebrate.

[2688] Okay.

[2689] I mean, I don't hate it.

[2690] You don't hate shit?

[2691] Now I hate it.

[2692] But I, you know, it's just I applaud you sticking to your guns and not being swayed because I will say that got zero traction in the room from Jason DeRullo.

[2693] No, he laughed hysterically.

[2694] I'll play it back for you.

[2695] Don't make me do this.

[2696] I'm going to go home tonight and I'm going to record it off my screen and I'm going to text.

[2697] I'm going to.

[2698] I'm going to.

[2699] No, fuck about it.

[2700] I'm serious.

[2701] It's seamless.

[2702] No, it's seamless.

[2703] It's, trust me, it's all happening.

[2704] He's reacting while I'm still talking.

[2705] He loved it.

[2706] Okay.

[2707] Well, it's all right.

[2708] I'll do the homework.

[2709] I'll send it to you guys.

[2710] I believe you.

[2711] I don't, I hate when you do this.

[2712] So I believe you.

[2713] I believe you.

[2714] I really believe you.

[2715] I don't believe you that you believe me. It's like the art school.

[2716] We believe you.

[2717] We just don't remember.

[2718] The art school.

[2719] Yeah, it's like, it's scat.

[2720] Like, you believe me, but you can't know it.

[2721] Right, right.

[2722] But I'm trying to think of the thing.

[2723] Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh.

[2724] It was the Wilderbeast coming over the bank of the river.

[2725] Oh, yeah, we really did not.

[2726] And I had to go, but I had done it like three times.

[2727] You guys didn't remember any.

[2728] And then I had to go back and fucking.

[2729] Yeah, I guess for the listeners who didn't know, after we recorded that, like an hour later, Rob and I get the clip.

[2730] That's right.

[2731] Of you proving yourself correct.

[2732] That's right.

[2733] I got to defend myself here.

[2734] Sometimes the, I'm getting attacked from both.

[2735] Well, I didn't say anything.

[2736] Yeah, Rob never says it unless you rope him into it, so that's not really fair to him.

[2737] All right.

[2738] Well, happy birthday to you.

[2739] I love you.

[2740] And I'm so happy you were born.

[2741] And you've made all of our lives so much better.

[2742] Thank you.

[2743] All right.

[2744] I'll see you later.

[2745] See you on the flip side.

[2746] Follow armchair expert on the Wondry app, Amazon music, or wherever you get your podcasts.

[2747] You can listen to every episode of Armchair Expert early and.

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