#626 - Trevor Moore

[0] The Joe Rogan experience.

[1] Train by day, Joe Rogan podcast by night all day.

[2] Trevor Moore, ladies and gentlemen, Trevor walked in.

[3] The first thing you said is I have one of these electronic cigarettes.

[4] Do you mind if I take a hit off of it?

[5] And just synchronicity, it was just when Jamie put together this thing, this dude, sent me that you could kind of lift weights with.

[6] That's the thing.

[7] You could fucking kill somebody with this, for sure.

[8] Because it's like, it's very heavy, and there's all these sharp edges for the folks.

[9] at home that are not watching, they're just listening, this is so unnecessary.

[10] It must weigh, I would say, a pound, maybe two, two pounds maybe?

[11] You need like a briefcase for it.

[12] How much did you say that way, if you had a guess?

[13] Like a pound, maybe?

[14] Yeah, more than that, I would feel like.

[15] Yeah, maybe two pounds.

[16] Yeah, this is, this is the heaviest one of these I've ever seen.

[17] So fucking stupid.

[18] And so you, you take, it's tobacco and you, you know, you press the button.

[19] The bottom has a button and you take a it's like it doesn't even look like you're supposed to be sucking on that thing it looks like uh like an exhaust for a very small car and you i mean it might as well have like if it's going to be like that it might as well have like a brass knuckles component yeah so it could be like a self -defense weapon yeah like a key ring and you know like right try getting on that on a fucking plane like try telling the people on the plane this is my veep i'm a part of veep culture and uh i like veeping so i'm beeping this on a plane A dude came up to me at improv and was talking to me. He had one of those.

[20] Yours sounds cool.

[21] Yours has a weird tone to it.

[22] Yeah, Jamie said it sounded like Darth Vader's voice.

[23] It's Darth Vader whispering.

[24] It's a quiet Darth Vader.

[25] This doesn't really have much of a noise.

[26] I play mine here.

[27] Mine is just the sound of breathing.

[28] And then a giant puff of smoke.

[29] Yours doesn't have as much smoke either.

[30] No. I think my coils are bad.

[31] I've got to redo the coils.

[32] Bad coils, man. What is, you know, this started off with those little fake cigarette jammies.

[33] Like those blue cigarettes.

[34] Well, I've been doing this since 2007.

[35] You early adopter.

[36] I know.

[37] Like, well, if they find out that something's wrong with these, I'm like, post.

[38] Like, you know, because it takes like 20 years to actually figure out if something's wrong with something.

[39] And they go, hey, um, whoa, this is stop.

[40] Yeah.

[41] Hold.

[42] But when I started, you had to get them from England.

[43] Like, uh, yeah, you would order it.

[44] My friend, uh, it was a comic who was like, you know, I, I was smoking too much, and he was like, I just quit.

[45] I started doing this stuff, and you order it from England, and they would send it in, like, vials, the nicotine liquid, and they had all these gloves that would come with it, and it would say, they had this book that was like, if you get this on your hands, and it absorbs in, it can give you a heart attack.

[46] What the fuck, man?

[47] So, yeah, I don't know if it was there just being, like, you know, overcautious or whatever, but I was like, you know, every time I had to fill it, I was in the bathroom, like making sure there was people in my house, like, all right, if I get this on my hands, Run me to the hospital or something.

[48] That's so ridiculous.

[49] That's so ridiculous.

[50] If you get it on your hand...

[51] You'll die.

[52] Well, how potent could that be?

[53] I don't know.

[54] This stuff, the guy are sending to me, he sent me little bottles of this jazz.

[55] This one says strawberry custard?

[56] Yeah, that's the thing now.

[57] It's all fruit flavors.

[58] Like, I do the pipe tobacco flavored.

[59] It might say strawberry custom.

[60] This is a shitty handwriting.

[61] You're smoking on Crunchberry.

[62] Crunchberry?

[63] Like, what does that say?

[64] So I say, custom or custard?

[65] Custard.

[66] Custard.

[67] Shitty handwriting.

[68] Strawberry custard.

[69] I should think someone would print that out.

[70] This is like the beta.

[71] This is the test.

[72] Yeah, I'm not sure about this.

[73] Well, I like puffing on those little blue cigarettes, like before I do stand -up.

[74] Because I feel like it gives you like, because I know nicotine, like, it's one of the things I read in Stephen King's book on writing.

[75] is a great book.

[76] Have you ever read it?

[77] No. It's Stephen King sort of like, I think he calls it a memoir of the craft or something along those lines, but it's basically like talking all about his writing habits and just the discipline of writing and you know, what you should and shouldn't do and how he started out writing.

[78] It's really, really inspiring.

[79] A great book.

[80] But one of the things in the book, he talks about cigarettes.

[81] And he just thought when he quit smoking cigarettes, it had an adverse effect on his writing.

[82] Yeah.

[83] Like you felt like because synapses didn't fire up as well.

[84] And I thought that was really interesting.

[85] So I started reading up on nicotine and nicotine's effect on the brain.

[86] And it's kind of a bit of a cognitive enhancer.

[87] You know, it's a bit of a stimulant.

[88] Well, yeah.

[89] And it's one of the things, like, one of the good things about nicotine that they don't really talk about that much is that they think that it staves off Alzheimer's.

[90] That's crazy.

[91] It's like, or there's some sort of correlation between smoking and less likely to get Alzheimer's side.

[92] Maybe the cancer is doing battle with the Alzheimer's disease kills you first.

[93] So they go to war and then your body survives because it's a battlefield.

[94] Or that could be everyone dies before the age where you usually get Alzheimer's.

[95] Well, have you heard of that?

[96] They're doing things like they're shooting HIV into cancer and it's killing cancer.

[97] Oh, really?

[98] Yeah, there's all these weird, bizarre studies that they're doing now are tests where they're injecting like tumors and different, you know, really fucked up parts of your body with other diseases.

[99] And the other diseases are attacking the fucked up parts of your body.

[100] But then do you have AIDS?

[101] Don't worry about AIDS.

[102] You got cancer.

[103] You're going to die cancer.

[104] People live with AIDS.

[105] Magic Johnson looks great.

[106] It's not AIDS.

[107] It's HIV.

[108] HIV.

[109] But does that make you HIV positive if you're putting AIDS?

[110] I think so.

[111] I think it's an inert form of HIV.

[112] Allegedly.

[113] I don't know.

[114] Some people don't, you know, I mean, if you're going to die of cancer, if you had a choice between, like, pancreatic cancer or HIV, you should take HIV all day.

[115] Right.

[116] Because they got that thing pretty nailed down.

[117] Like, I have a friend who I've known for maybe 20 years, and he's been HIV positive for, like, most of that time.

[118] And he's great.

[119] He's fine.

[120] Yeah, he's fine.

[121] He's normal.

[122] I mean, you see him.

[123] He's always laughing, and there's nothing wrong with him.

[124] Huh.

[125] It's weird.

[126] When was the turn for that?

[127] Was it like, I don't know.

[128] It's like last 10 years, right, where all of a sudden it's not as, I mean, not to say it's not as big of a deal, but, like, it's a...

[129] Certainly less of a deal.

[130] It's less of a death sentence.

[131] Yeah.

[132] I don't think it's a death sentence at all anymore.

[133] I mean, it's a testament to science.

[134] These protease, inhibitors, and all these different things that they figured out how to stunt the progress of HIV.

[135] It's super controversial because there's been a lot of, like, weird correlations between the crushing of the immune system.

[136] Like, obviously, everyone's in agreement that HIV, or most people are in agreement, that HIV is what causes AIDS.

[137] But there's a bunch of people that say, well, it's that.

[138] Maybe, but there's also this thing about partying that, like, in the gay community, especially, there's rampant drug abuse.

[139] And for whatever reason, people don't want to factor that in.

[140] And there was this guy that I had on the podcast that I think had a faulty connection.

[141] And he's actually a biologist at the University of Berkeley, University of California, Berkeley.

[142] His name is Peter Dewsberg.

[143] And he's super controversial because he doesn't believe that age.

[144] HIV causes AIDS.

[145] He thinks that AIDS is, you know, AIDS being immune deficiency syndrome, acquired immune deficiency syndrome.

[146] And he believes that it is directly correlated with partying, directly correlated with use of crystal meth, with poppers, AML nitrate, crushing the immune system, and no other scientists support him.

[147] No credible scientists support him.

[148] So we had him on the podcast, He was pretty convinced, convincing to an idiot like me, with zero medical or biological studying.

[149] But the more I talk to people who understand, no one wanted to debate him, which is really interesting.

[150] But I think it's kind of like debating a Holocaust denier.

[151] It's a controversial, yeah, it's a, you don't want to.

[152] You don't even want to give him any credit.

[153] Yeah.

[154] So he's like, he's got tenure at University of California, Berkeley, but he can't get any funding anymore.

[155] No one wants to have anything to do with him.

[156] And apparently he's done tremendous work with cancer.

[157] but because of this whole HIV -AIDS connection thing, he's kind of blackballed.

[158] And I was in touch with a lot of scientists after this was over.

[159] It was really interesting because people got really upset with that podcast with him on that podcast and then me giving him a platform.

[160] And I'm like, look, man, the guy was in Spin Magazine.

[161] He's written a bunch of articles about this.

[162] I just wanted to hear what he had to say about it.

[163] So having him on was pretty interesting.

[164] But I think it's, I don't think he's right, but I think he has.

[165] a point in that it's got to have an adverse effect on your body and gay people like the party.

[166] I mean, it's just a fact, you know, and crystal meth use and amyl nitrate use, it's like, those are devastating to your immune system.

[167] So if you've already got something going on, you know, you're more susceptible.

[168] Yes, yeah.

[169] But that doesn't, it doesn't get factored in very often.

[170] And I think that's where Dewsberg, because he kind of brings that up, I think, you know, it kind of gives, the whole thing is a little bit cloudy because of that and because it doesn't get factored in but that shit's super super bad for your body HIV?

[171] No, partying, the partying all that you know the poppers and crystal meth and all that shit it's just like you know gay people don't have kids or if they do have kids it's rare you know they're out there having a good fucking time you know just doing meth and banging each other getting sick I always I love like I hang on on this a couple conspiracy theory boards just because I'm like fascinated by it like I just, it's one of my favorite things in the world are this conspiracy theories like even ones I don't believe in I just love them.

[172] Like my favorite one ever is there's a whole bunch of people out there who actually think that Lady Gaga is John Bonnet Ramsey.

[173] Oh good Lord.

[174] Yeah like that's a whole bunch of people that think that and so it's like those things where they put up the pictures where they show like the eye like the eyes are the same you know distance across and like that kind of thing but there's one there's a whole group of people who don't think Magic Johnson ever had HIV.

[175] They think that it was a kind of, almost a PR campaign to get awareness out.

[176] Really?

[177] Yeah.

[178] I don't believe that, but it's like a fascinating conspiracy theory that where people are just like, it was a huge problem.

[179] It was a problem in like inner cities.

[180] And he was the biggest guy at the time.

[181] He was kind of like this huge role model.

[182] And for somebody like him to come out and say, I have HIV, then like that it could be like a big kind of get awareness out kind of thing that's like a he conspired that's what that's I mean why would he do that yeah but it's a big it's a conspiracy theory that's so ridiculous well he's one of the few guys that was reportedly heterosexual that got it you know like did you ever see uh Sam Kinnison's bit Sam Kinnison you hear the crackle ladies and gentlemen going in I'll go in too and support solidarity whoa yeah synapses um the um fuck what was I Sam Kinnison.

[183] Sam Kinnison had a bit about it, you know, you know, because he had, he made fun of AIDS and they say, Sam, you know, AIDS is a communicable disease, heterosexuals diarrhea too, he goes, name one.

[184] Name one fucking guy.

[185] It's not our dance.

[186] You know, but really, there's not that many.

[187] There's a very few, I mean, when I was a kid, and I heard about Magic Johnson getting HIV, I remember thinking, oh my God, everyone's going to have AIDS.

[188] And like, maybe a year or two later, I got health insurance and I had to get an AIDS test and I was fucking terrified just thinking of all the drunken poor choices with no condom and oh my goodness it's gonna happen I have AIDS I'm only 25 I've AIDS shit and then I didn't have AIDS and so I was super psyched but then I started looking into it it's almost like very very few heterosexual people that aren't intravenous drug users yeah they get AIDS yeah I mean I mean I remember Like, when I was a kid, it was, they treated it like it was, you know, you have sex without a condom once you're going to get it.

[189] It's going to happen.

[190] It's just, it's inevitable, you know, kind of thing.

[191] And now I think now they're kind of backing off that a little bit where it's like, well, it's actually not.

[192] I think it's way more easy for a woman because obviously the woman takes sperm into her body and her body absorbs it or gay men because you're, you know, gay man, even, you're taking it in your ass and you're not supposed to have cum in your ass.

[193] What's that?

[194] it's on oh just sitting it down made it oh just this stupid fucking thing is so heavy there's probably a safety on it mine has a safety on the bottom this is there's no safety on this piece of shit oh my god it's so hot oh my god if i if i lick that right now if i try to suck on it it it would probably burn i can't even set it down i gotta set it down sideways you can't set this for people at home that are listening which is most people you um yeah the top of it is super hot.

[195] See, there's a safety right here.

[196] So you spin that down.

[197] That's a lot of safety.

[198] That's a battery.

[199] Well, mine has a...

[200] Yours is better.

[201] Mine has a thing...

[202] Don't do it like that!

[203] See, you're doing it again.

[204] Smoke started coming out of this.

[205] This thing, I'm trying to describe it.

[206] You know what it looks like?

[207] It looks like a spaceship in a shitty 1990s sci -fi movie.

[208] That's what it looks like.

[209] That could be some sort of a spaceship.

[210] Like, you know...

[211] Yeah.

[212] It's fucking horrible.

[213] AIDS.

[214] Where were we?

[215] AIDS.

[216] Conspiracy theories, AIDS.

[217] Yeah, I don't remember what it was.

[218] I don't remember what we're talking about.

[219] But the John Bonnet thing is interesting.

[220] When I was living in Colorado, I actually looked at her house, the house that she was killed in.

[221] I didn't look at it in person, but it was for sale.

[222] And I was like, wow, what a beautiful house.

[223] This was pretty reasonable for what it is.

[224] And they actually changed the street name.

[225] They changed the street name or changed the address.

[226] Right.

[227] One of those, and, like, to try to hide the fact that it was the house where John Bonaid died.

[228] But they have to disclose it, don't they?

[229] They do have to disclose it, and that's the problem.

[230] They can't fucking sell it.

[231] Yeah, who's going to buy that?

[232] It's a beautiful house.

[233] It's really nice, and it's a nice area of Boulder, but nobody wants that fucking house.

[234] No. $10, I wouldn't buy it.

[235] I'd buy it for $10.

[236] Would you live in it?

[237] Would you sleep in it?

[238] For a show, for a TV show, like a ghost show.

[239] It's fucked up, man. That whole story's...

[240] Look, I think that whole child pageant thing is one of the most fucked up things.

[241] When you see little kids with high heels and makeup on, dressed up like, you know, they're trying to get laid.

[242] It's just so crazy.

[243] It's like, yeah, the worst parenting.

[244] It's weird, man. We were in Dallas, and we were doing the improv, and the hotel that we were staying at was the exact same hotel where they were having one of these pageants.

[245] And it was me and I think Duncan and Joey, and we were walking around the hotel going, what the fuck?

[246] fuck is this yeah it was all little tiny kids like five like i have a i have a four year old and i have a six year old so they were like my kids age but they were wearing high heels where they could barely walk and they were fully dolled up i mean eyelashes full makeup war paint yeah it teased up texas style hair like little dresses i mean it was disgusting it was disturbing it was really really weird.

[247] Just the fact of just putting them into like a judging scenario at that age.

[248] Yeah.

[249] You know, kind of like, well, you weren't the best kid.

[250] Yeah.

[251] You know, you didn't, you know, everyone, you got up in front of everyone, but they liked this other kid better than you.

[252] So.

[253] Yeah, psychologically.

[254] Rattle that around in your brain for your whole life.

[255] My daughter was playing softball or soccer rather for a while.

[256] And her nickname was Bruiser.

[257] Because my youngest one is like super aggressive.

[258] She's crazy.

[259] But she's really like, she's a sweetie.

[260] But when it comes to thing.

[261] She's like, ah!

[262] She loves, like, teenage mutant ninja turtles, and she's a Superman lunchbox.

[263] She's probably a lesbian.

[264] But, uh, I love her to death.

[265] But she's, she's really athletic.

[266] And so, she's only four.

[267] And so they had her in soccer, and she's just scoring goals like crazy.

[268] The game starts, boom, she scores the first goal.

[269] She runs with the ball, boom, scores the second goal.

[270] I mean, she's like a little animal.

[271] And then the other team scored, and she started crying, because the other team was cheering.

[272] She started crying, like that, The family on the other side, the families, were cheering.

[273] And then she's like, I don't want to play anymore.

[274] And the coach is like, you got to go back out there and play.

[275] I'm like, you don't have to play.

[276] I go, it's just stupid.

[277] It's a ball going into the net.

[278] I go, if you're not enjoying it, don't do it.

[279] Yeah.

[280] I go, but you shouldn't worry about the other team, like, scoring.

[281] But I knew that she couldn't kind of internalize that.

[282] So I said, this is no big deal.

[283] Like, I don't want to make it a big deal.

[284] Because I think that sports, a lot of times parents, they fuck their kids up because they make, like, winning and losing this, like, huge deal or playing.

[285] You got to go to out there.

[286] and you gotta fucking play.

[287] Figure that out when you're older.

[288] You know, when you're four, you should be having fun, you know?

[289] And the coach is like sitting down where they're trying to psych her out and the coach is dumb as shit.

[290] So when she's sitting down, she's giving her this dumb psychology, and I was like, whoa, whoa, well, well, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop.

[291] Don't teach my kid.

[292] Come here.

[293] Honey, it's all right.

[294] It's no big deal.

[295] She's like, you've got to go out there and you've got to just go out there and you get that score back.

[296] Whatever they scored?

[297] If you feel bad, you got to go.

[298] Get out of here.

[299] No, you don't.

[300] Yeah.

[301] Just have fun.

[302] Like, this is just supposed to be fun.

[303] So the idea that you could take someone that age and then judge them on their looks, that's fucking insane.

[304] And then, you know, they have like a talent portion where they sing and they do little dances and their high heels.

[305] And it's like, what the fuck, man?

[306] Like, it's so unhealthy.

[307] Who is the pedophile that invented this?

[308] Like, the first guy who was like, I have an idea for a thing to do.

[309] I think it's people that are just living through.

[310] their kids man yeah you see that a lot with with sports you know you really see that a lot with um you know people that uh like it's usually fathers with their sons like fathers like like really fuck their kids up because they're like super some guys you know obviously some guys like fuck their kids up because they're super super super invested in their kid being successful like i've seen kids not do well at certain sports and seen their fathers yelling at them you're talking about like 10 year old kids like god damn man like you're gonna the only way this kid's ever gonna get good at something is if he's rewarded for his hard work and then if he gets a sort of an understanding of what is healthy and what is not healthy about competition yeah and what's definitely not healthy is you you you putting everything on the line for this kid like it's everything like your love your love is invested in this kid knocking a ball into a net this is fucking preposterous it's just so goofy dad's just see that tiger woods money You think that's what it is?

[311] I mean, I don't know.

[312] I mean, it's probably column A, which is them trying to, you know, redo their, you know, what they wish they had done.

[313] But then there's also like, my kid could be the greatest quarterback.

[314] My kid could be, you know.

[315] Yeah.

[316] I think that could be in the future, like they might be looking at it that way.

[317] We've got to get you one that doesn't make that noise.

[318] Oh, sorry.

[319] I won't do it anymore.

[320] It's okay.

[321] Just push the microphone to the side, but the audience is probably going, what is the people that have headphones on?

[322] The headphones are the real issue.

[323] you.

[324] Sorry.

[325] Because sometimes we have these fight companion podcasts, but we have a bunch of guys in here and we watch fights, and people start eating like right into the microphone, and if you're listening, if you have headphones on it's fucking maddening.

[326] But it's hard.

[327] You're drinking and smoking pot, and people forget, and they start chewing.

[328] Anyway, John Bonnet Ramsey, not a good place to buy a house.

[329] Okay, AIDS is done, John Bonnet Ramsey's done.

[330] Yeah, we covered those super duper important things.

[331] Conspiracy.

[332] There's one that thinks they think that Bill Hicks and Alex Jones are the same person.

[333] Oh, I've seen that.

[334] Yeah.

[335] Trust me. I met both of them.

[336] They're different humans.

[337] Fucking Christ.

[338] People are so crazy.

[339] Could you imagine?

[340] Like, why?

[341] Why would you do that?

[342] I want to know, has anybody ever done that?

[343] Has anybody ever fake their own death?

[344] Tupac.

[345] Andy Kaufman and Tupac live on an island somewhere.

[346] What a boring fucking life, waiting to die of old age.

[347] Yeah, but that's also maybe one of the best sitcoms ever.

[348] Tupac and Andy Kaufman alone on an island somewhere, like an odd couple.

[349] How long before gay shit starts happening?

[350] How many months in?

[351] It's got to be early.

[352] Right away.

[353] Yeah, right away.

[354] Just fuck it.

[355] We're here.

[356] Let's be honest.

[357] No one's rescuing us.

[358] I don't know of anyone that's ever faked their own death successfully.

[359] I know some people have tried.

[360] There was a guy that I remember, it was some business guy who, apparently a guy.

[361] busted swindling or something like that and he faked his own death but they caught him a few years later yeah and then that guy that's in that that movie the jinks that the show the jinks yeah that guy that what is his name robert durst yeah he didn't get a guy that did he no but he disappeared and pretended he was a woman right he pretended he was a mute woman like you put on a wig and dressed like a woman and then as a mute woman murdered another guy and then took off and that's like whitey bold you did it for a while that's right he disappeared but he didn't fake his own death no yeah i heard i don't know if this is true i heard and i don't know i don't remember where i heard it so this could just be nonsense but that uh what his plan was to do is like when he was going to get old and die he was going to go out into the desert dig a hole and just basically you know kill himself in the hole so they never find him like you soldier yeah i don't know if that's true or not i heard that you got to kill yourself where animals will eat you right that's the move what you should do if anybody wants to kill themselves and not be found go to alberta Go to Alberta Canada Go to where the bears are Because there's sections of Alberta Canada That are literally infested with black bears And they have a few grizzlies up there as well But I've never seen more bears In one place in my life Like in one day You'll see 16 bears Like no bullshit And fucking big bears Seven foot bears And just blow your brains out Cover yourself with honey Yeah Because other bears eat honey, right?

[362] And they'll eat you You'll be gone They'll eat your bones they'll eat everything they'll eat every single piece of who you are they'll shit out your teeth and that's that'll be a wrap wow nobody'll find you it's a good that's a good life hack or the ocean the ocean's probably the best yeah they just are not going to find you if you go out far enough and just jump it just jump out yeah just start breathing water you'll just fucking sink to the bottom the odds of your body making it all the way to shore that's so good yeah I mean think about how goddamn big the ocean is who's gonna find you nobody that's probably a good move the ocean's probably better than the bear move but it's more peaceful it's serene it's terrifying the ocean's peaceful in the day at night time it's fucking horrific yeah i was uh i went out sailing once uh in new york and we went out like a little far and then it got dark oh and uh we were trying to come back and it was all of some the waves got bigger and it was actually it's like a sailboat so like really kind of you know with the old like wheel and everything and actually like feeling like the the the strength of the waves trying to get back.

[363] And it was really fucking terrifying, like, trying to get back to New York.

[364] That's a crazy way to die, man. Your boat tips over.

[365] You're trying to scramble and hope the boat stays afloat, sideways, and the water's cold.

[366] My kitchen was getting fixed.

[367] There was some shit wrong with my kitchen.

[368] So we decided to rent up.

[369] We said, oh, you know what we'll do?

[370] We'll rent a house on the water.

[371] We'll rent a house on the beach for a couple months.

[372] And I got barbecued.

[373] one night the first night we went there i got super duper high and in the daytime it was beautiful like that like you look out the window where you're eating breakfast and it would just be ocean just like right there in the ocean like wow so pretty but at nighttime that same view is horrifying because the sky is black and the water's black and you keep here and whosh and it's like it reveals itself to you like oh you thought that this was like your playground yeah beautiful This is a fucking monster that could swallow up the whole city and not even know it.

[374] Yeah.

[375] Like, the ocean could just swallow Los Angeles one day with one burp slash fart of the tectonic plates.

[376] Or at least Malibu.

[377] Oh, yeah, Malibu would be done.

[378] Santa Monica, done.

[379] Yeah.

[380] All that, the promenade, done.

[381] Just all those, the mall area with all the shops and people playing songs you don't want to hear out in the street.

[382] Woo!

[383] 100 foot high waves.

[384] pouring in, covering everything for three, four miles deep.

[385] That's nothing.

[386] That's happened 100 ,000 fucking times in the course of the earth.

[387] Yeah.

[388] And we just set up houses there.

[389] Dig them in.

[390] Boom.

[391] Pull little fucking posts.

[392] Have a little wave wall.

[393] I was terrified in that house, man. I barely stayed in there.

[394] I rented it for a few months, and I wanted to stay in my other house.

[395] My actually out in my house with the fucked up kitchen.

[396] I was cooking on a hot plate.

[397] I was like, I feel more comfortable here.

[398] Are you afraid of tsunamis?

[399] I'm afraid of everything.

[400] I'm afraid of everything.

[401] I'm afraid of asteroids, wolves.

[402] Sunamis are like the one...

[403] Some birds.

[404] One disaster for some reason I'm not afraid of.

[405] Really?

[406] Yeah, I don't know why.

[407] My wife is terrified.

[408] That's like her biggest fear of tsunamis.

[409] She's smart.

[410] And like, whenever I see the tsunami, and I know this is just, this is naive.

[411] But whenever I look at the tsunami footage and stuff, I feel like, I think I, I feel like I could get away.

[412] I got so scared of tsunami, I spilled a coffee over my shirt.

[413] You really think you could get away?

[414] I know it's stupid, and I probably couldn't, but I just have that kind of thought where I feel like if I had to pick a natural disaster, like I'm afraid of earthquakes, asteroids, but like tsunamis, I would take that.

[415] Do you imagine if you did, if you were right and you like a tsunami came and you survived and like a thousand people dead?

[416] Trevor Moore, how did you survive?

[417] They're all pussies.

[418] How did they not survive?

[419] Some fucking water, just swim.

[420] No, I just be like, you know what?

[421] I kind of always deep down felt like.

[422] I could do it and, you know, it's turned out.

[423] God told me I would be fine.

[424] And the water is just water.

[425] Just keep swimming and you're fine.

[426] No. Have you ever been caught in an undertow?

[427] Not a big one.

[428] Like, I go surfing and stuff and, like, you know, I've never been caught in like a one that was, I've been caught in one.

[429] I've been like, oh, I'm in an undertow, you know, but not a bad one.

[430] I've never been caught in a bad one either, but I got caught in one that was enough that freaked me the fuck out.

[431] I got caught in one.

[432] And, God, I don't remember where it was, but I remember, like, oh, this is what that is.

[433] Yeah.

[434] And I'm, you know, pretty athletic.

[435] I'm in pretty good shape.

[436] But I was thinking, man, what if I was like an old lady or, you know, a young kid?

[437] I was like, this is not good.

[438] Like, the water just started pulling me back.

[439] And it was pretty rapid.

[440] And I was like, oh, fuck this.

[441] And so I just starts, you got to kind of swim sideways.

[442] Yeah, lateral.

[443] Yeah.

[444] Towards the shore.

[445] Greg Fitzsimmons had to rescue someone.

[446] He was on vacation with his family.

[447] and some woman got caught in the undertow and she was screaming and she was getting pulled out and he looked around and there was no lifeguard there was no nothing and she was just getting pulled and so he was there with his fucking wife and his kids he went holy shit okay here we go and he just jumped out there and you know you got to like know how to hold on to people when you're saving him he didn't know how to do that because they're panicking and they're just trying to get to higher ground on top of you yeah they'll pull you with them they'll pull you with them and she she did not know how to do that and so like you know he barely made it wow barely made it barely made it and saved this woman, but that moment when you have to make that decision, do I risk my life to try to save some person?

[448] Because you might get to a point where you're like, oh, my God, I'm going to have to punch this chick in the face and swim by myself because she's going to drag me under.

[449] Like there's those weird moments that actually happen to people when they're trying to save someone.

[450] They realize, I'm going to die too because this person's an idiot.

[451] You know, they're, or maybe not an idiot, but they can't.

[452] They're panicking.

[453] They don't know how to deal with stress.

[454] some people given the exact same circumstance just know how to stay calm and they'll be fine and other people they just and they can't breathe like you're like breathe breathe they can't breathe oh fucking christ like i can't teach you how to breathe here while we're both trying to swim for our lives fuck and then his wife and his kids were watching this whole thing happen and you know he kind of figured out how to grab her and swim to the shore with her and that's some terrifying shit yeah that's good i mean like yeah people we were um we were doing like river kind of rafting not i mean just like kind of in a like you know kind of like lazy river kind of stuff up in cape cod once me and a bunch of friends and uh this river comes out to the the ocean and when it came out to the ocean there was one of our friends who doesn't swim um so i don't know why he was with us but like but he was on one of those inner tubes just kind of like tube did he have a life raft on too no he was just kind of tubing but it was like a river it was a river we And so it got to the ocean and it was the same kind of thing where it just, this river just shoots stuff, you know, shoots the water out into the ocean really far.

[455] So he went all of a sudden way out and we're all, you know, back on the beach and we're like, oh wait, holy shit.

[456] Like Chris can't swim.

[457] Oh, God.

[458] So we're like going and we see that he's panicking.

[459] And in his panic, what he did was he jumped off of the raft.

[460] Oh, no. Because the raft was going out to ocean and he just wanted to get back.

[461] to the shore so he doesn't know how to swim i know but in the panic in that moment like your brain doesn't really make the right decisions so how'd you get him what happened oh he died no no no no no no no we uh we had people who had to swim out and like get him back did you get the raft too um i don't remember i don't even remember what happened to the raft maybe not oh fucking christ oh my friend remi rome warren he uh was uh on a river once he was right next to a river and some stuff started he talked about it on the podcast for folks listening to this his his version is going to be way better than mine but he saw some stuff floating down the river and then a guy face down body floating down the river and then he realized holy shit like this is like a cap -sized boat it was freezing cold water and then a woman hanging on for dear life screaming and he said holy shit here we go and he just jumped in the river and it was freezing cold water and he realized like as he was jumping and he's like okay I'm probably going to die because you know you get hypothermia really quickly Yeah Those means essentially those rivers They're glaciers It's glaciers melting And they create this river And it's fucking freezing cold water In the mountain And he's in this water And it's not warm out either It's cold out And so he just dove in And he's trying to save this woman And he got lucky They both got lucky And they figured out a way To grab a hold of something And you know But he got a hold of her And then dragged her to shore But he was pretty convinced As he jumped in like Okay This is it for me. It's been a fun life.

[462] Wow.

[463] It's a good way to die, though, trying to save somebody else.

[464] That's pretty heroic.

[465] But if she dies, too, you're like, damn, I could have been lived and just watched her die.

[466] Yeah.

[467] I felt sad.

[468] And just started telling people, hey, man, don't raft.

[469] Shit's dangerous as fuck.

[470] Yeah, of all the ways to die, you know, that's a river rafting is a really terrifying one.

[471] If you see, like, when people, there was a reality show.

[472] I forget what reality show it was, but it never went to air because as they were filming, like one of the first episodes, someone, they overturned their canoe and got trapped under a rock.

[473] Like the canoe overturned and the waves, or the current rather, wedged them under a rock and they drowned.

[474] And like the pilot.

[475] And the pilot, yeah.

[476] Yeah, this was years back.

[477] This was like right when Survivor was first taken off before the Internet.

[478] really took hold as far as like social media and TMZ type shit which they would just have a field day with this.

[479] But back then it was just you know they didn't really they hadn't figured out how to use the internet for trash yet you know but this this this person just got stuck and I remember thinking that like okay that's not something I ever want to be a part of you don't ever want to be stuck in a freezing cold river with insanely powerful currents I don't I don't I mean some people I've done it once the river rafting kind of thing like the white water kind of stuff like yeah This is not fun to me like it's it's it's it's it's very bumpy It's scary.

[480] There's potential death everywhere People love thrills man. They love it somebody was they love that rush that adrenaline rush just foof I don't know that's why I can have you ever done skydiving?

[481] No Yeah, fuck that yeah because I feel like if you if you do die skydiving it's you know it's always sad when people die but it's like you know it's kind of you don't get that I mean people would be like well yeah he jumped out of an airplane you know I've had friends that are EMTs that have found people you know after sky mmhmm got into the surface they say their body is totally intact it's everything inside outside yeah but everything inside like your bones are like pushed up through your torso and just like you're just a bag of broken bones and destroy organs yeah not good I read uh there's this article there was Jamie has his look at his face there's this article where they interviewed people who had actually fallen out of planes and lived oh god there's like only a handful um but they were trying to figure out how you how to do it and uh and the stories were crazy because there's this one guy who um was an old guy that they interviewed who i guess was in world war two and his um plane just exploded well he before he had jumped out kind of thing And he fell, and they say that the way to do it is, and it's not like foolproof, but like the people who have survived, they kind of try to hit a tree.

[482] And you try to hit a tree as close to the middle as possible, but not the exact middle, because that'll impale you.

[483] But you want to hit close to the trunk where the branches are the thickest.

[484] And you basically want to have all the branches break your fall on the way down.

[485] And you're going to be fucked up when, like, you.

[486] you hit the ground, but the people who have lived, a lot of them hit trees.

[487] Wow.

[488] I heard a guy who lived who hit a barn, and apparently he went through the roof and into the hay, and somehow another made it, but he was fucked up.

[489] Yeah.

[490] I mean, every bone broken, back broken, you know, all fucked up, legs broken, but lived somehow or another.

[491] Yeah.

[492] My friend Brian, his dad, he had worked with this guy, and the guy was trying to get him to skydive.

[493] And then, you know, one day he went to the office and the guy wasn't there.

[494] And he's like, what happened?

[495] Where's Mike or whatever the fuck's name?

[496] I think it was actually a woman.

[497] And he was like, found out that the skydiving didn't go so well that weekend.

[498] Holy shit.

[499] Yeah.

[500] Yeah, that's dead.

[501] Yeah.

[502] Skydiving.

[503] I don't get that sport.

[504] Don't like that one.

[505] Well, you know, my friend Steve Runella said it best.

[506] He said there's things that are fun that are fun while you're doing them, but they're not fun later.

[507] And I think skydiving is one of those.

[508] And roller coasters are one of those as well.

[509] They're fun while you're doing them, but they're not fun later.

[510] And then there's things that you do, like crazy arduous hikes over mountains, and you get to the top, and this insanely beautiful view.

[511] And, like, you earn that view, and, you know, you're camping.

[512] It's freezing, and, you know, you're fucking hoofing it.

[513] But when it's all over, when you get together, like, weeks later and talk about that trip, like, wow, you have these amazing memories.

[514] Like, it was really cool.

[515] Yeah.

[516] But at the time, it was kind of.

[517] brutal and arduous would you ever do everest fuck that that's that's that's that's that's like what the suicide basically but you have to watch this new it's out right now i'm glad you brought this up there's a real sports with brian gumble that's out right now but is it's amazing and it's on the sherpas those fucking guys who have to do all the work yeah because they had all these experienced climbers who had summited at everest like years and years ago and they were talking about what it used to be like, you know, it used to carry your own stuff, you had a minimal amount of things, and now they have these companies that set it up, like these luxury tours, um, where these Sherpas, they carry like virtually anything you want, like whatever you want, whatever you need.

[518] So they have all these prepped meals.

[519] They have these tents and inside these tents.

[520] They have, you know, gourmet food and cots and all this stuff.

[521] And these Sherpas have to carry all this stuff And it was sort of highlighting How insanely dangerous it is Like there's only, you know, a few hundreds Sherpas and over the last couple of years 25 of them have died In avalanches and ice falls And the path that they take From base camp up through the mountains Like within the first You know, 100 yards or so You're in dangerous territory Well there's dead bodies all along the trail That they can't get them You know, if you die on the mountain, you stay on, you're part of the mountain for then on.

[522] There's like, there's pictures of the bodies, like online.

[523] And there's one guy that just looks like he's like slumped over taking a nap.

[524] And that's what happened.

[525] Like he was, he's still in his like parka and everything like that.

[526] But he just kind of, you know, when you get up that high, you get tired.

[527] So you're like, I'm just going to rest for a second.

[528] And then you're there for the next 100, 200 years.

[529] Including the first guy to ever climb Everest.

[530] Is he up there?

[531] Yeah, you could see his body.

[532] Yeah, look at that guy.

[533] That's the first guy.

[534] guy?

[535] No, that's one of them.

[536] Look at that fucking, that's so creepy, man. But the first guy to, that's the guy right there, the lower left, the lower left, that's the first guy to ever climb Everest.

[537] Oh, yeah.

[538] See, I feel like that's going to suck all the fun out of, no matter like how great the view is when you're walking up through just corpses, you know, like it's got to suck a little bit of the fun out of it.

[539] Looks like someone chewed on his ass.

[540] Look, he's like got a hole in his ass like some birds came on fucking yeah but it's he's white white frozen solid face planted yeah it's terrifying yeah I'm pretty sure that is the body of the first guy because that's an iconic photo but there's more than a hundred more than a hundred dead body how many hundred how many how many dead bodies Jamie find that out Mallory is the guy's name that died first right isn't that his name is this first guy that ever tried it I believe so.

[541] He was the first guy that they ever did it, and then he died.

[542] On the way down?

[543] Something like that.

[544] Poor bastard.

[545] I'm just going to wait for virtual reality.

[546] They'll put a camera up there, and you can just put on goggles and go over there.

[547] Won't mean anything.

[548] It don't mean enough.

[549] The feeling of that thing is you experience it.

[550] Like, as you're walking, every fiber of your being is going, what the fuck are you doing?

[551] You've got to get out of here, man. This is dangerous.

[552] There's no air.

[553] It's 18 degrees below zero.

[554] You got a mile of walking, more than 200 dead bodies.

[555] Oh, my God.

[556] Some bodies even used as landmarks for other climbers.

[557] Fucking Christ.

[558] What?

[559] Jesus.

[560] How many people have successfully done it?

[561] A lot.

[562] That was the fucked up thing about this real sports thing.

[563] As this guy was doing it, he was talking about how crowded the summit is now.

[564] When you go up there, you could barely stand because so many people have summited.

[565] There's so many people up there with you.

[566] they showed the video of him doing it and all the people making it on the way up and there was over a hundred people on their way up the mountain I mean it was insane it was like it was a line for Disneyland like I'm not kidding that's crazy yeah look at that look at that look at that look at that fucking people that's insane look at the like look at the line the upper right -hand corner look at the law look at that fucking line now you can only do it like there's like a one week a year or something right is it or it's it's a small window isn't it like a month or two I'm not sure where the weather is okay to do it i'm not sure but they you know people die all the time doing it yeah and so these companies have sort of capitalized as one of the things they were highlighting they've capitalized on two things one there's desire of all these rich douchebags to you know like i'm an adventure i'm summited everest i conquered business now i've conquered the highest mountain in the world people love saying things like that i've summoned at everest you know whoa john i'm so much more impressed with you now um but the sherpas it was really really really really depressing because they a lot of them come from this one town that's like you know halfway up the mountain and the town has been essentially the same way you can't even call it a town it's like a village it's a day's walk to buy food they have to walk for a day and this family this mother and her son were just mourning the death of her husband and the kid's father and it's just he was a sherpa first day on the job first time doing it you know they needed money to try to get out of this village and they make like five thousand dollars a year and but that's the equivalent to like that'll go for a year like probably probably like way more than anybody makes up there doesn't want to help why why why um I mean so it's like a I'm sure it's like a pretty much that's the that's the town business like it's a Sherpa community yeah well also they're uniquely like genetically qualified for the job they're living up there.

[567] They live up there.

[568] They're used to climbing all the time.

[569] They're insanely fit because their bodies are used to like very low oxygen, very high altitude.

[570] So they can do things that other people just, it's like super difficult for like a person like us that lives here in LA.

[571] You know, we're at sea level.

[572] To go up there, we'd be like, fuck, you know, it takes a long time for your body to adapt.

[573] Yeah.

[574] Like I lived in Colorado for a while and we were living at 8 ,500 feet above sea level, which is like 3 ,000 feet above Boulder.

[575] And it was just going upstairs.

[576] was rough.

[577] Yeah.

[578] These fucking people are like, what, 20 ,000 feet more even.

[579] I think like the summit is something like 29 ,000 feet above sea level.

[580] So it's like essentially like almost as high as a jet.

[581] Like when a jet is flying over Vegas, like.

[582] It's crazy.

[583] Fuck.

[584] Yeah.

[585] It's insane.

[586] What the fuck, man. There's no air.

[587] And they do it with tanks too.

[588] That's the other thing.

[589] They do with oxygen tanks.

[590] Yeah.

[591] Pussies.

[592] We did a show in Aspen, like an Aspen comment.

[593] Comedy Festival and there's just like a, you know, it was a sketch show, a lot of running around on the thing.

[594] But I had to have an oxygen tank backstage just because like from the amount of like running around, like after the first show, I was like, I can't, I can't breathe.

[595] Yeah.

[596] I can't imagine being up at jet level.

[597] I did Aspen.

[598] I did the comedy festival.

[599] Probably the same year you were there.

[600] You guys, you're, we didn't even introduce Trevor.

[601] It's from the whitest kids you know.

[602] Very, very famous sketch troupe.

[603] You probably have seen a lot of their stuff online, a lot of sketches online.

[604] But we were doing the Aspen Comedy Festival I want to say it was like 2003 or something like that It was way back in the day And I was with Lewis Black We were on a show together And they had oxygen waiting for him When he got off stage Like they have a tank right there A little mask Like you're sucking oxygen Like right after you get off You know because Lewis does that thing Where he gets his fingers going And he gets very excited And you know you got no air There's no fucking air up there Yeah well I remember when we got there They were saying like if you if anyone's feeling faint or anything like that we have oxygen for everybody and i was like that's that's you know i'm not going to need that bussies and then like yeah 24 hours then i was like where where is the oxygen tanks well they sell it they sell like tubes that you could bring with you like like a it looks like a can of hair spray or something or shaving cream it's got like a little a little mass thing but uh yeah that's nothing though i mean that's that's nothing compared to the the the altitude that these people are at so imagine it's probably the same kind Basically, it's probably the same thing.

[605] What I did was basically like going to the moon on a bike.

[606] Yeah, Aspen is a freaky town, isn't it?

[607] Yeah, the sidewalks are heated.

[608] I thought that was weird.

[609] It's so rich.

[610] There's so much money up there.

[611] It's so stupid.

[612] Well, they have to bus everybody, like, because there's a McDonald's there and over that.

[613] And everyone who works there, anyone who works in any of those shops has to be bused in from like an hour down the mountain to work there.

[614] Like, there's no one who works there lives there.

[615] No, you could never afford it.

[616] Did they even have apartments?

[617] I mean, they must have some, right?

[618] I don't know.

[619] I don't remember seeing any, but I remember seeing some stupid, fucking expensive houses up there.

[620] It's a weird, like, rich people paradise.

[621] You know, like, the stores, like, they have, like, a nobu up there, like, super expensive sushi place.

[622] Like, how are you getting fish up here?

[623] This ain't nowhere near the fucking ocean.

[624] Yeah.

[625] Like, Aspen is pretty high up there.

[626] It's, like, 8 ,000 feet, right?

[627] Something like that.

[628] It seems like it.

[629] It's a goofy airport, too.

[630] That's a horrible airport.

[631] You have to fly, like, straight up.

[632] Yeah.

[633] Though a year we went, I don't think planes were coming in because it was snowing.

[634] And so, or they called it off or something like the airport.

[635] Same with my year.

[636] So then it was basically everyone had to drive up the thing.

[637] And that was terrifying because then the road's like, you know, if there's nobody driving on the road for like five minutes, the road's gone.

[638] Yeah.

[639] You know.

[640] Covered with snow.

[641] Yeah.

[642] Yeah, we landed in Denver and then they bust us up and it took hours.

[643] Yeah.

[644] And you're going on these winding roads in a bus.

[645] You don't even know this driver.

[646] Like, he might be crazy.

[647] Like, how'd you get this job?

[648] Can I talk to you?

[649] You're the guy driving?

[650] Like, your life is on the line.

[651] You're on mountains.

[652] And on the way up, there's all these buses just on the side of the road.

[653] They've just been frozen there because you can't go get them.

[654] Like, on the way up to the Aspen Comedy Festival, there's just littered with frozen comedians on buses.

[655] It was a goofy place to do comedy, too, because, like, the audiences, they either had to live in Aspen or they had also, like, fly in for it.

[656] And then they kind of realized somewhere along the line, oh, executives just sort of built this festival so they could ski.

[657] Yeah, it's a party.

[658] Yeah.

[659] So, like, when I was up there, I remember thinking, like, this is, like, very different from the Montreal Comedy Festival.

[660] With the Montreal Comedy Festival, it really did seem like it was all about the shows.

[661] The shows were, like, an afterthought in Aspen.

[662] And so they just canceled it.

[663] Like, it doesn't exist anymore.

[664] And then they brought it to Vegas for a while.

[665] And then they were like, well, this is even worse.

[666] And then there's no more festival.

[667] Yeah.

[668] I mean, HBO, does HBO even have a comedy festival anymore?

[669] I don't think they do.

[670] I don't think they do either.

[671] Which is a shame, because I actually, I thought it was a fun festival.

[672] It's great.

[673] But, yeah, I guess they.

[674] I enjoyed it.

[675] I don't, I ski now, but back then I didn't ski.

[676] So I just was there just kind of having fun going, this is a weird place to have a festival.

[677] Like, why would you have a festival?

[678] And then I kind of like sort of pieced it together.

[679] Like, oh, you fuckers just like skiing.

[680] Yeah.

[681] You'd see all the agents and everyone.

[682] So I have sun dances.

[683] Yeah.

[684] Yeah.

[685] They'd all have their shit with them.

[686] All they're skiing shit.

[687] I was like, this is fucking bizarre.

[688] Like, you guys have, like, this is an afterthought.

[689] Yeah.

[690] That's, that's Hollywood, you know, the skiing.

[691] Skiing terrifies me. Does it?

[692] Yeah.

[693] That's, that's, I put that up there with, well, I just, I don't know.

[694] You can hit a tree and then, you know.

[695] Well, you know what the thing is, man?

[696] Just don't go on, like, a super tough course, you know?

[697] Yeah.

[698] That's the thing about skiing.

[699] Like, if you're going to ski, like, everybody wants to go, like, crazy.

[700] Skiing's fun for me when I'm in control of it.

[701] Like, you know, they have, like, black.

[702] courses and blue like blue is like fairly easy right it's like was like bunny slopes yeah I was like well blue is not bunny blue is pretty like I was in um park city Utah this year and blue's not easy like blue blue gets weird like there's some spots where like whoa this is and I think green is like maybe blue is harder than green or green is harder than blue but whatever it is I got to the the one right before black and I was like whoa this is kind of crazy you kind of figure it out You just got to take, like, steep turns left and right to try to regulate your speed.

[703] But while I was doing it, there were some motherfuckers that were just experts that were flying by me. Because people that are just speed demons, they just really know how to do it.

[704] And if they fuck up, ooh, you know, some of those guys are going.

[705] They probably went like 50 miles an hour or something.

[706] Yeah.

[707] It's no room for error.

[708] No. Also, I was with my kids and it freaked me. I was like, what if some uncoordinated dummy plows into one of my kids when they're trying to learn how to ski?

[709] Right.

[710] That's a potential danger.

[711] When I was a kid, the first time I ever went skiing, like my, I took the little lessons, you know, that you take in your first time skiing.

[712] And then we were there for, it was like a Christmas thing.

[713] My family was there for like a week.

[714] So like by the second or third day, I'm like, I want to try the black diamond kind of thing like that.

[715] And my dad was like fine.

[716] Like he was just kind of like, I think it was like, he'll really learn a lesson or something.

[717] Like, yeah, go for it.

[718] So I took the lift up to the thing.

[719] and nobody said anything.

[720] Like, it was totally, everyone was like, all right, this kid's gonna, you know, eat shit.

[721] And it took me hours to get down because I couldn't, I couldn't, you know, stay up for more than, you know, 50 yards at a time without just falling, because it's just the slope.

[722] The pitch was just so much that I just would just keep tumbling.

[723] And I'm like crying, trying to walk down this black diamond thing while people are like flying past me. Oh, God.

[724] Did you tell you, Dad, when you got to the bottom?

[725] Yeah, I was like, I hate skiing.

[726] Did he say, ah, wanted you to learn a lesson, son?

[727] Take that black diamond.

[728] How about a double black diamond, pussy?

[729] Yeah, the moguls are kind of crazy.

[730] We were watching people doing a black diamond mogul, which for people who don't know what skiing is.

[731] It's like massive bumps.

[732] Like, the people like the bumps, which I'm real confused.

[733] I didn't understand why they would like.

[734] You get sick air.

[735] Is that what it is?

[736] I think, isn't that, is it kind of you're trying to get air off of the bumps, aren't you?

[737] I guess you kind of do.

[738] I mean, don't jump too high because you're kind of going back and forth.

[739] But we were going over it in the lift, and we were watching these people just go left and right and just hopping up and bouncing.

[740] And it's the actual ground gets, like, etched in like this criss -cross cross -hatching pattern from people just going left and right and left and right over these crazy fucking bumps.

[741] And you're like, man, there's not a lot of room for everything.

[742] There are there.

[743] Yeah.

[744] If you don't know what you're doing and you just jumped in like you did just a little too quick.

[745] You're in the trees.

[746] Yeah.

[747] What's safer?

[748] Skiing or snowboarding?

[749] What's easier to do?

[750] I don't know.

[751] Can you go as fast on a snowboard as you can on skis?

[752] I feel like you go faster on skis, but I'm talking out my ass.

[753] You do go faster?

[754] Yeah, you can go like 100 miles an hour.

[755] On a snowboard?

[756] You go straight down like the downhill alpine skiing on the Olympics.

[757] They go really fast.

[758] Yeah.

[759] Miles an hour.

[760] They can't get that fast on a snowboard.

[761] Aubrey's friends with that guy, Bodie Miller, who's an Olympic gold medalist.

[762] I watched him in the Olympics because they were, you know, the Olympics was happening when Aubrey was over at my house.

[763] We watched it while it was going live.

[764] And that motherfucker flies.

[765] You know, when you're watching like Olympic gold medalist going down these things, like the speed is just unfathomable.

[766] Yeah.

[767] Like you got to think that at some point in time, like, If you wipe out, like, he just wiped out recently, almost severed his leg.

[768] Like, he hit something and tore his, almost tore the meat off of his leg in this accent.

[769] Like, it's pretty severe.

[770] Might even be like a career -ending injury.

[771] Like, I think he hit a fence or something.

[772] Holy shit.

[773] Yeah, fuck.

[774] Or he just hit snow, but if that's as fast as he was going, the snow cut his leg off.

[775] I think it's a, I think he hit a fence.

[776] My friend Steve was on the U .S. ski team, and he's had, I want to be conservative when I say this, but I think I'm wrong.

[777] I think I'm undershooting it.

[778] He's had 28 knee surgeries.

[779] He actually had his knees resurfaced.

[780] I'll show you a picture.

[781] You want to freak out?

[782] He doesn't have any cartilage on his knee anymore.

[783] How old is he?

[784] Steve's in his 50s.

[785] I've known him since I was a kid.

[786] Let me see if I can find this image.

[787] It's going to freak you out.

[788] I'll pull it up here.

[789] I don't know if I can.

[790] What's that?

[791] He's looking up at the screen.

[792] Oh, yeah.

[793] You're looking at a screen.

[794] with the screen yeah let me uh the record is actually 156 miles an hour oh my on skiing god average speed 40 to 100 40 to 100 is average yeah see I never want to be going 156 miles an hour yeah you're smart dude okay look at this image I'm gonna pull this oh hold on I'll give it to you I'm off my laptop that's my friend's knee look at that that's the inside of his knee so with the metal yeah so they put metal over the top of his knee That's got to feel terrible when it gets cold He's a bad motherfucker He would never complain about anything This guy's an animal He doesn't give a shit He's got fake meniscus You see that little white thing there That's an artificial piece of meniscus That is a pad in between The ball and socket Those caps of his knees Where you know normally you have cartilage The cartilage is so worn away That he has these It looks like they're crunched like steel steel caps that cover over the the top of the bone and then you know it just sort of rolls steel to steel and that's a knee replacement he doesn't have that no he just has his knee research because knee replacement is like for people that have like their ligaments destroyed my mom had knee replacement should both knees done at the same time they had to they chop your legs off basically and then they put robot knees in and then you basically can't walk for a couple months And they give you a whole bunch of Vicodin and send you home.

[795] Yeah.

[796] The amazing thing is the hips.

[797] They saw the top off.

[798] They give you a fake hip.

[799] Like it's attached to like a screw that go like the saw the top of your femur off.

[800] And this fake hip screws right in there.

[801] And then you just start walking around.

[802] Like you're walking around within hours.

[803] Really?

[804] Yeah.

[805] Hip replacement?

[806] Mm -hmm.

[807] Yeah.

[808] I had a guy that was, yeah, there's the hip.

[809] There's the fake hip.

[810] Trevor, if you hear that sound, that's Trevor sucking on his.

[811] I did a wife in the mic.

[812] Well, look at that, how they do it.

[813] They literally saw the top of your bone off and put this fake thing in there, this fake ball and socket.

[814] That looks cool, though.

[815] Oh, look it.

[816] It's from Aspen.

[817] That's hilarious.

[818] The picture that you pull up is from Aspen.

[819] I mean, how many people that are super rich blow their hips out from skiing all the time?

[820] Probably a lot.

[821] Or just get that done cosmetically.

[822] It kind of be like...

[823] Just be beautiful.

[824] Yeah, kind of cyborg -y.

[825] I wanted to have bitter hips.

[826] But you see the top where it shows how deep it goes into the femur?

[827] Yeah.

[828] The screw, like up above that, Jamie, above and to the right?

[829] You can see that, yeah, right there.

[830] Like, look at that.

[831] That's what happens.

[832] They put that fucking steel thing.

[833] Graham Hancock had it, and he came on the podcast six weeks later.

[834] He was walking around like nothing.

[835] Like, I had no idea.

[836] You know, he goes, well, I had my hip replace.

[837] I said, when?

[838] you know six weeks ago get the fuck out of here he was walking around like there was nothing wrong now how long and it was like with the knee stuff like it lasts like 20 years or something and so then you got to do it again like 20 years or so oh how long did it take her to recover where she could walk uh it's like a couple months because she did both at once like you're most of the times you do one and then you do another one later but she just did them both one she just said fuck it let's just suffer once yeah she's like a school teacher so she was like I got this summer open.

[839] Let me just get them both done out of the way.

[840] God.

[841] What was wrong with her knees that she had to do that?

[842] I think just the cartilage wore down.

[843] Like it wasn't an injury or anything.

[844] It was just kind of wear and tear.

[845] That's one of the reasons why I don't trust certain doctors.

[846] Because there's other ways to handle that.

[847] First of all, they're doing these stem cell injections now in people's knees where they're regenerating cartilage.

[848] You know, obviously that's not an option once they chop your fucking legs off and put a fake knee in.

[849] but doctors love doing that they love doing surgery you know i had a back injury and uh i talked to a doctor and he's like well i'm going to fuse your discs you know there's no other way you know this and that we're going to chop it out now i'm fine like i sought out a bunch of alternative methods and i did this thing called regenticine this blood spinning procedure that reduces inflammation i did a lot of stretching and yoga and a lot of strengthening and it's fine now yeah i could have listened to this asshole and i'd have my disc fuse you right now and what is I don't know what that means like what is that like cut the the soft part in between the bones like your spinal column is a series of bones and in between those bones are discs yeah which is like sort of like a tough bag of like jelly and um that bag of jelly a lot of times gets herniated where it pokes out and because of trauma it'll start sticking into the nerve and it causes pain that's where sciatic comes from you know that term like sciatica yeah people goes oh I have a sciatica issue.

[850] Well, you know what that really means?

[851] That really means you have a bulging disc.

[852] It means your bulging disc is poking into a very specific area of your spinal column, a specific area of your nerves that affects where your leg is.

[853] And so it can cause atrophy in your leg, which I've had friends that have had that issue.

[854] It can cause like some pretty severe lower back pain and leg pain, like through your butt down your hamstring, all the way down, like shooting down your leg.

[855] so what they want to do is cut that meat out that soft cushy part and then they drop it down and screw the bones together so now you have one part of your spine that just doesn't move so you can't your range of motion it doesn't articulate the same way yeah now they've developed the same guy that invented uh well not the same guy the same in the same country rather in Germany they they're doing things in Europe that they're just not doing in America yet for whatever reason and one of the things are doing is they're replacing the discs with artificial discs that articulate they move around much like your actual the actual stuff that's in between your bones do so instead of fusing it and having this one stiff rigid area which actually is can be really problematic because it puts pressure additional mechanical pressure on the above disc and the below disc so oftentimes people wind up having multiple disc fused and you got like one stiff fucking back and you're walking around like this and you're shorter like it makes you shorter it makes you you have all sorts of problems like mechanical problems the way your body because your body's like going what the fuck is going why are we built different now yeah like well how come i can't move my neck anymore why is it all but it's really common people get it done all the time they fuse the discs and you don't always have to you know there's there's other ways around it but a lot of doctors just want to start cutting you they just don't want to start doing, I mean, there's very ethical doctors, and there's sometimes where they have to do it.

[856] There's sometimes when, like, you know, you're really fucked up, man. We have to do surgery to open up your nerve pathway because your arms are atrophying, which is really common with people that have neck injuries.

[857] They'll have a one arm that, like, shrivels up.

[858] Like, it's not getting any nerves.

[859] The nerves aren't firing anymore because they're being impinged by this compress, this disc, this bulging disc.

[860] Scary, scary shit.

[861] Yeah.

[862] But doctors just want to fucking cut you up man they make money doing it yeah sure about that doctor that was arrested recently um he was arrested because he was lying to patients and telling them they had cancer and giving them chemotherapy for profit wow yeah that's uh fuck man yeah intentionally misdiagnosing people and then giving them fucking chemotherapy how do they catch him i don't know man someone got a second a bunch of people got a second opinion and the kind of maybe right yeah like what can't what you don't have cancer you're not even fat that's got to be a weird turn when you're a doctor and you're just like you know you're like i'm just going to be a bad doctor like you know because you can't i mean you have to know you're a bad doctor at that point you're like i'm a bad guy you know yeah some people have a way of dancing around reality you know there's a book called dead doctors don't lie this guy dr joel wallach who's kind of a eccentric character and basically the premise of a lot of what his book is about is about how few doctors really understand nutrition and they understand the impact of nutrition on the body and mineral deficiencies that people have that you would treat in like livestock like in animals.

[863] A lot of times when animals develop issues they change the diet and give them minerals and that they don't do that with people and he found that particularly fascinating because I think he started out as a veterinarian and one of the things he was talking about is how many doctors abuse drugs because they can get them.

[864] Like, it's really easy for doctors to get drugs.

[865] And, you know, he details, like, this one story of this guy who was in the middle of an operation and stepped away and shot cocaine into his body and had a fucking heart attack and died.

[866] So he was in, like, a storage room dead while this person was cut open in the middle of surgery.

[867] And they had to try to go look for him and then they found him dead.

[868] But you would think that, you know, when you're a doctor, you have access to, you know, prescriptions, and you can get a hold of some medicine.

[869] I mean, I'm sure it's probably more tightly regulated today than it was in years past.

[870] Yeah.

[871] I mean, I'd heard that about dentists.

[872] I heard dentists, you know, a lot of...

[873] Well, the dentists have the highest rate of depression for any occupation.

[874] The highest amount of suicide for any occupation.

[875] Really?

[876] Yeah, and a lot of people think that it's because people hate going to the dentist.

[877] Like, it's kind of a universal.

[878] Nobody wants to go to the dentist, so they kind of put it off.

[879] They only go when they have to They're in pain So every single person that a dentist sees Every day of their professional life Is people who are having the worst day of their year And they're dreading it So there's this energy Of everyone coming in and being like I'm not happy to see you I'm stressed out And that kind of wears on these dentists So they have the highest suicide rate And I've heard that because of that There's a lot of abuse of Because they have the drugs too But there's less oversight than at a hospital Like it's their own private practice So they just have all this stuff So there's a lot of abuse there That totally makes sense Yeah I didn't even think about that way I've always felt that That was the case with cops Like cops all I mean cops have very high suicide rates as well I think a lot of it's PTSD They're always seeing trauma You see these you know But they're also dealing with people That don't want to see them Like all the time Yeah Most of the time when you see a cop You're like oh this fucking cop Yeah.

[880] The cops are here.

[881] Great.

[882] You know, so they just deal with that all the time.

[883] Yeah.

[884] Plus, they have a gun on their belt.

[885] So, like, you know, it's, it could be, you know, there's got to be more in your mind if the gun is constantly there.

[886] Just stick it in your mouth?

[887] Yeah.

[888] Yeah.

[889] I'm sure.

[890] Yeah, I bet they're probably, like, number one for shooting themselves.

[891] Yeah.

[892] You know, it's easy.

[893] It's right there.

[894] Yeah.

[895] Being a cop has got a shot.

[896] I don't think anybody's qualified to be a cop.

[897] I really don't.

[898] Not for more than, like, an hour.

[899] you know yeah have you ever done a ride -along no new I haven't either that'd be fascinating though anyone can do it right I feel like you can just call the police station and do a ride -along it'd be fascinating what do you do that and the cops get killed and you're in the back seat in what and you're just like I'm just on a ride -along I'm not a cop I am white and I'm so sorry for that I'm not interested it's like I don't want to go to war either I don't do a ride -along in Afghanistan.

[900] I have a friend who just got back from that.

[901] He's filming a documentary on Afghanistan, and he was embedded with these troops for over a month.

[902] And he came back.

[903] Shell shocked.

[904] Really?

[905] Yeah.

[906] He came back, just whacked out.

[907] And that's from one month.

[908] Yeah.

[909] Well, he was a little more than a month.

[910] I want to say, maybe six weeks.

[911] But he came back, and he was talking about it, and he's his experience, well, he's a hunter, and he's like, there's this really cool.

[912] creepy similarity that I didn't take into consideration that these guys are hunting people.

[913] I mean, that's really what they're doing.

[914] I mean, they're going after, like, certain, you know, quote -unquote insurgents.

[915] You know, you give them some interesting names, like insurgents.

[916] Like, we never heard insurgents before this war.

[917] When the fuck did you ever hear?

[918] Did they say insurgents during, you know, they said the Viet Cong during Vietnam, right?

[919] You know, they said the Nazis and the Japs during World War II.

[920] Now it's insurgents.

[921] like this real way of making things sanitized.

[922] But he said essentially, like, he realized, like, right away, like, whoa, this is, like, hunting.

[923] Like, these guys are, they're not going after a deer so they can eat it.

[924] They're going after people.

[925] And they knew their behavior patterns.

[926] They knew how to set traps for them.

[927] They knew where they would be.

[928] And they knew how to sneak up on them.

[929] Yeah.

[930] And they had, like, all these strategies, like, very similar to the way you would hunt a deer.

[931] Like, okay, this is the path that deer goes into we're going to do is get, you know, upwind of them so that or downwind of them so that the wind comes to us they can't smell us and like all this crazy shit they were doing to try to avoid being seen and really similar to hunting an animal that's crazy yeah he was pretty fucked up he came back he was a little little weird he had an idea in his head what it was going to be you know he said well you know go over there do a documentary sort of like um he wanted to you know kind of show how difficult it was show the real side of war but you know sort of honor these people that are over there he's got kind of a simplistic way of looking at things too you know fighting for our freedom he's one of those guys that says shit that you go okay what does that mean right and they just don't expand like it's like fighting for our freedom I'm exactly sure is that exactly what they're doing like people that are telling them to do that are they doing it because they want freedom or is there other ulterior motives have you looked into this at all he didn't you know it's just like very surface American sniper but exactly and but what When he came back, man, he had a fucking completely different idea about it.

[932] He was really, he had a very realistic portrayal of war when he came back.

[933] It was a fucking eye -opener.

[934] Like he was like, this is a cluster fuck.

[935] It was a scary cluster fuck.

[936] And it's not good by any stretch of the imagination.

[937] And there's no way to win this fucking thing.

[938] You're over in Afghanistan.

[939] It's all mountains.

[940] There's no towns.

[941] There's Kabul.

[942] That's one city.

[943] Everything else is warlords that are trapped up in the mountains.

[944] And get this.

[945] The way they get the warlords to tell them the Taliban, they give them Viagra.

[946] Viagra's the best.

[947] Huh.

[948] You give them guns.

[949] He can give them money, but they got guns.

[950] They got some money.

[951] Yeah.

[952] And they got opium everywhere.

[953] So, Viagra's the one thing that's not local.

[954] They need Viagra.

[955] Because a lot of these guys are, like, in their 60s, and they got, like, 30 wives.

[956] These bitches are complaining, man. Wow.

[957] You know?

[958] Can't fuck them once a day.

[959] Yeah.

[960] Once a month.

[961] It should be a Viagra commercial.

[962] Yeah.

[963] Red, white, and blue, flying behind the Viagra.

[964] It's keeping you safe.

[965] It's one of the main ways they get these guys to rat on the Taliban.

[966] That's crazy.

[967] You can call it the Taliban anymore, or they call it al -Qaeda?

[968] They don't even talk about al -Qaeda.

[969] It's ISIS now.

[970] It's the same people?

[971] They're their offshoot.

[972] They're a branch of al -Qaeda, yeah.

[973] Is it like, you know, Van Halen with David Lee Roth was totally different than Van Halen with Sammy Hagar?

[974] Yeah.

[975] Is that what ISIS is like?

[976] It's like a totally different offshoot of the original band.

[977] Yeah.

[978] We're getting the band back together.

[979] It's ISIL now.

[980] Right?

[981] Isil?

[982] Isol.

[983] Was ISIS?

[984] And now it's the Islamic State.

[985] I've heard that too.

[986] Yeah, they started at ISIS and then they changed it to ISIL.

[987] It wasn't testing well.

[988] It wasn't testing well?

[989] They were rebranded.

[990] Testing.

[991] Testing is adorable.

[992] Take a bunch of people when you're doing a television show.

[993] You take a bunch of people that don't want to be there.

[994] They're getting paid and then you play a show for them.

[995] In Vegas.

[996] Yeah.

[997] It's usually.

[998] Is it really usually in Vegas?

[999] They go to Vegas.

[1000] And they'll, you know, in those, like, they'll grab people off the street, and they'll be like, would you like to see some TV shows that are about to come out and, like, you'll get, like, $20 off TGI Fridays kind of thing like that.

[1001] And people are like, well, because they, because Vegas is like where you get a cross section of everyone from all across the country.

[1002] Right.

[1003] So they find that, you know, that you can kind of get people from Iowa.

[1004] You can get people from Florida in this one, like, city, so you get, like, a good cross sheet of what people are going to think of a show.

[1005] That's hilarious.

[1006] That's hilarious.

[1007] That's hilarious.

[1008] that's a weird place to do it man and it's also like who are these people like you can't just get a random group of people and ask them about a show especially if this show is specific you know like of a specific genre you know you just get a bunch of rednecks and you play you know some sophisticated show for them like this is gay like yeah well it's people who are on vacation who have run out of things to do and it'll just do anything anyone's like like if you're on vacation at Vegas or something and then somebody was like do you want to watch like five TV shows that you've never heard of you'd be like no yeah I just think the idea of testing is ridiculous anyway this is the way you test it put it on the air yeah you know let creative people come up with it let the the comedians or the writers or whoever we know whatever kind of show it is let them come up with it put it together and go okay we like it Let's put this thing on TV.

[1009] Yeah.

[1010] And find, you know, trust your instincts on shit.

[1011] You don't have to bring it to something.

[1012] Well, we brought it to a random group of people, and they'd like a wacky neighbor.

[1013] Yeah.

[1014] How come there's no wacky neighbor, man?

[1015] Well, like what Amazon does now is they just throw them up online.

[1016] Yeah.

[1017] And they just see, all right, which one's got the most, you know, which one do people watch more?

[1018] Amazon's got so much goddamn money.

[1019] They can do that.

[1020] Yeah.

[1021] They've got drone money.

[1022] They're sending drones.

[1023] They're never going to do that.

[1024] They're never going to do that.

[1025] I think that was like a publicity stunt.

[1026] It's never going to happen.

[1027] You don't think so?

[1028] No, because, like, if they, if Amazon started sending drones, there would be guys that had eight drones in their garage, the drones trying to get back to Amazon's headquarters.

[1029] Like, people are going to steal them.

[1030] They're going to, like, you know.

[1031] Shoot them down and take your packages, too.

[1032] Yeah, like, and there's power lines.

[1033] How are they going to get, you know.

[1034] Well, they could see where they're going.

[1035] People would steal them.

[1036] I'd steal them.

[1037] Would you steal a drone?

[1038] Yeah, it'd be funny.

[1039] How rude.

[1040] An Amazon drone?

[1041] It's not hurting anyone.

[1042] If it has a GPS on it, they find it.

[1043] Like, find a phone?

[1044] They can find your iPhone.

[1045] You don't think they could find your fucking GPS?

[1046] Well, I'd put it somewhere.

[1047] You put it somewhere.

[1048] No, I wouldn't keep it in my house.

[1049] I lived in a town in Charlottesville, I lived in Charlottesville, Virginia when I grew up, which is where Dave Matthews was from.

[1050] And it was, like, when Dave Matthews was huge.

[1051] And so, it was, like, a big thing in my town.

[1052] And, like, one thing that he did to, like, give back to the community that he wanted to do was he did this thing.

[1053] where he got a whole bunch of bicycles and they painted them like orange and they put them all around town and they're like these are Dave Matthews is putting all these bikes around and they're free you can get one, ride it to where you need to go, leave it there and then you know it's just a community bicycle kind of thing and within like two months they were all gone like all months all gone and then how many bikes?

[1054] It was like it was a lot it was like hundreds of bikes they're all gone and then and then for like years years like because I was like in like it was like 1920 like you know kind of in you go to house parties and every house party you would go to there'd be one of the Dave Matthews bikes on the wall and they're like I got one of Dave's bikes you know you can only have what the people will let you have you have you have the Amazon drones because people are going to steal that's funny yeah but that you would have to really steal that's not something you could borrow Amazon's not going to let you borrow their drones no but it's got to come to your house right um to drop off a packet yeah but I think it just drops it off and then takes off I don't think it It waits for you to release it.

[1055] You know, I think it just drops it off, and then that's it.

[1056] Well, you have your buddy order something.

[1057] Then you go up on the roof with a baseball bat.

[1058] You wait for that, fuck.

[1059] Imagine if you died because you were trying to hit a fucking drone, you slipped and fell off your roof and broke your neck.

[1060] That would be a sad funeral.

[1061] This stupid fuck.

[1062] He died trying to hit a home run off a drone.

[1063] God.

[1064] I don't know what we're going to be doing in a few years, But I have a feeling that within the next couple of decades, it's not even going to involve things being delivered.

[1065] I think it's going to involve 3D printing.

[1066] Yeah.

[1067] I think that's the big one.

[1068] Like you have a subscription to like Apple or something like that.

[1069] And then you have their account and then they just make your iPod in your living room kind of thing.

[1070] Yeah.

[1071] You know how like you order like a movie on iTunes?

[1072] You say, hey, I want to watch Taken or whatever.

[1073] And you just click it.

[1074] And then the movie will, you start downloading and then you start watching it.

[1075] I think that's what it's going to be like.

[1076] I want a new pair of Converse chucks, you know, and then I wonder if they'll be able to a 3D print cloth.

[1077] That's an interesting question.

[1078] Hmm.

[1079] Why not, right?

[1080] Yeah.

[1081] Hmm.

[1082] I don't know, because it's woven.

[1083] Like, just the whole idea of cloth is that.

[1084] Well, maybe like some sort of like, what are those shamwow kind of claws?

[1085] They're not that comfortable, but.

[1086] Listen, sham, is that a shammy?

[1087] Like, a shammy is a skin of an animal.

[1088] Like, it's a super absorbent skin of an animal.

[1089] But I'm sure they have synthetic...

[1090] I think that...

[1091] Yeah, I think that...

[1092] Whatever shamow was, I don't think it was an animal.

[1093] What is that?

[1094] 3D printer for fabrics.

[1095] Well, Jamie just fucking answered our question.

[1096] Crazy.

[1097] How does that shit work?

[1098] You know, it's crazy is when...

[1099] Look at this.

[1100] When the 3D printing, like, uh, takes off is like, you know what happened with, like, music and, like, uh, the entertainment where all of a sudden people could, like, bit torrent everything.

[1101] You're going to have that happen to every single industry.

[1102] Oh, yeah.

[1103] Because all of a sudden, you can, you can bit torrent an iPhone.

[1104] You can, that whole thing, like, you wouldn't download a car, would you?

[1105] And you're like, well, if it was possible, yes, a lot of people would.

[1106] And you will be able to do it.

[1107] Yeah, that argument for piracy, I had Paul Stanley from Kissin, who's, like, really adamant that it's stealing, it's stealing.

[1108] And I was like, you know, it's piracy.

[1109] I'm like, man, man, is it?

[1110] Yeah, it's the original still there.

[1111] Like, it's not really stealing, you know, but he's used to being rich.

[1112] He wants to stay rich, and he wants to keep making millions of dollars.

[1113] but he was talking about how the industry just disappeared.

[1114] And I was like, well, it's kind of, but see, my argument was like, yeah, but the radio always existed.

[1115] And you always had radio.

[1116] And you play the music on radio, and that's what made the music famous.

[1117] And then people would go out and buy the CD, and you'd make millions.

[1118] And then they would go out and tour, and you'd make more millions.

[1119] Well, now one part of that's missing.

[1120] Right.

[1121] The buying it is missing.

[1122] And people don't really want to buy it anymore.

[1123] But they still want to tour they'll still buy t -shirts.

[1124] That's always where money came from anywhere.

[1125] It's t -shirts.

[1126] Like, you know, like these people tour and they, you know I mean like back in like the old Sun Records days and everything they were on the road all the time, you know, putting out these singles and then making all their money touring.

[1127] I just got to go go back to that.

[1128] Well, I think the record companies are fucked way more than the artists.

[1129] Yeah.

[1130] Because that's why the record companies, they're creating these like really fucking like strange deals, especially like with young artists.

[1131] They get talked into these really creepy deals.

[1132] where you know they got locked up for X amount of years and this is they're really like strange contracts like that established artists would never agree to and then you have to try to get out of them once you get to a certain point but they're just trying to figure out a way to lock down these artists and try to suck money out of them where I mean what do they have to offer these days they don't really have anything it used to be like you needed a record company to release your record and to get you on the radio but now the radio doesn't mean shit no Everyone just wants to get in like a TV show or like in a commercial now.

[1133] I mean, that's like the payday.

[1134] Yeah, it's just getting like your song played at the end of some MTV show or getting like your song played in the background of a commercial.

[1135] That's like the new, you know.

[1136] Yeah.

[1137] Or just getting it like, okay, like how about that gangnam style guy?

[1138] Like that guy's in a weird spot because everybody knows you ain't going to make more than one of those, dude.

[1139] Right.

[1140] You got that one song where no one knows what the fuck you're singing.

[1141] yeah and people go oh it's kind of catchy and you go how many of those can you make man and do people want to go see you live well he's a big guy in korea yeah yeah he's a he's a big he was a big he was a star before that over there and this was just i think went international but the the size how big that song was he doesn't need to have another one you think so i think he'll be able to coast off that for a while you think how much money do you think they make jamie's like he's fine plus that i mean that was on that was on that was on so many commercials too and then like 10 years from now there'll be a nostalgia for it it'll come back really oh like Rick Astley yeah Rick Roll yeah I don't know man I don't know you gotta think that like for most artists that's not gonna happen right maybe for him but for most artists you got a hit you got a few songs that people are into and then you're hoping they're gonna come see you live that's like the big thing yeah but with Paul Stanley he was just saying that you used to be able to make a lot of money off the sales of the records and now it doesn't exist anymore because of illegal downloads but they must be making some money right off of like iTunes and shit yeah i think i mean i'm sure it's it was better yeah for like the few people that like you know you know we're in this paul stanley level you know yeah but i don't know as the flip side of that is that there's a lot of smaller bands that can, you know, get heard now.

[1142] Like, you know, the Internet's been great for, like, small music.

[1143] I mean, you have a platform like, you know.

[1144] I guess, I don't know.

[1145] I think it broke up the monopoly.

[1146] Broke up that industry, which is a really creepy industry.

[1147] Go ahead, dude, it's all right.

[1148] I'm going back here.

[1149] He's got that robot deck.

[1150] He's got to suck.

[1151] Can't help it.

[1152] Have you watched that movie Artifact about 30 seconds to Mars in their record label battle?

[1153] Oh, that's the Jared Letto thing?

[1154] Is that how you say it?

[1155] Ledo or Letto?

[1156] It's an insane movie talking exactly about what you're talking about.

[1157] A really famous band that went on tour, sold out everything, and they came back, and the record label said they still owe them a million dollars.

[1158] And they're like, what the fuck?

[1159] How?

[1160] And it's a whole three -year battle, and the documentary shows everything.

[1161] Lawyer talks.

[1162] Wow, and meanwhile, no one's talking about that documentary.

[1163] It's not like...

[1164] Yeah, it hasn't.

[1165] I mean, they still ended up at the end of the movie.

[1166] I don't want to spoil it or anything.

[1167] Right.

[1168] They're still making music right now.

[1169] This was a couple years ago, and the movie was made.

[1170] Did you ever see the piece that Courtney Love wrote on the music business?

[1171] That sort of highlights how crazy it is, like how much money goes to the record company versus how much goes to the artist.

[1172] But, again, that was before the internet kind of like took the legs out from under that business.

[1173] Yeah.

[1174] Napster.

[1175] For comics, it's giant.

[1176] We never made any money off of CDs anyway.

[1177] I mean, you make a little bit.

[1178] But the real money was always in doing clubs and doing theaters and stuff like that.

[1179] So the internet is just awesome promotion for that Like way better than anything else before Way better than radio, way better than putting out a CD There's nothing better than the internet I mean guys, I mean, I always blows my mind I'm gonna try to think about like what you know Would you have a mailing list?

[1180] You know, you know, at the end of a show You put out a pad of a paper and you know like write down you know I'll send out a mailing list every year Let you know I remember when I was a kid I'd go to the record store And just check to see if the bands that I like had new albums out because there was no way to know like you know you would just go and sometimes you know you'd check multiple times a year and then you'd like oh there's a new there's no way to there's no that's right yeah you know where they would have like a poster up yeah coming September 3rd the new you know Bon Jovi oh did you hear you know and then the radio would have to tell you this information was really hard to get back then man it's really hard to get anything you know you got like I remember I was in that kiss army you know you get like a kiss kiss fan thing in the mail when I was a kid and you'd get like this but they you know I don't even remember them saying tour dates just tell you about the band you know yeah you get this like real superficial version of who they are it's just so much different now so much different you can't be like this mysterious hidden person that lives in a castle Marilyn Manson style on the top of the hill like you kind of like they know you now man if they don't know you they're not gonna It's just to hold animals different.

[1181] People are different.

[1182] Like, I think human beings, I think we're so used to it.

[1183] It's hard for us to really conceptualize.

[1184] It's hard for us to really kind of appreciate how much different, just interacting with human beings as today in 2015 as opposed to, like, 1985.

[1185] Well, I was, we were shooting whitest kids when the iPhone came out.

[1186] And we were in production, you know, and I remember.

[1187] I remember, like, me and a guy, Zach from the troop, would direct everything.

[1188] So I remember directing, you know, we were like mid -season.

[1189] And the day before the iPhone came out, you know, everyone would kind of be talking, you know, in between takes.

[1190] Like, everyone would be on set, like, you know, PA's, like, you know, like, the costume department.

[1191] Everyone would kind of be, like, joking around and stuff like that.

[1192] And then the iPhone came out at midnight and, like, you know, it was a huge thing.

[1193] Everybody went in the line.

[1194] A lot of people got it.

[1195] And the next day, everybody was just staring at the eye.

[1196] And it was this thing where I was like, well, it's crazy, because I bought one too.

[1197] And I was like, it's just crazy what this thing can do.

[1198] And everybody's fascinated with what this can do.

[1199] But we never went back.

[1200] It was all, it never went back.

[1201] I thought it was just going to be like a couple days where everyone's just, you know, staring at this thing.

[1202] And it was like, that was the dividing point.

[1203] It changed after that.

[1204] And now, you know, just interacting with people.

[1205] It's just completely different.

[1206] Well, then the social media really took off because you took it everywhere with you.

[1207] It wasn't like, well, when I get home, then I will check my social media.

[1208] I'll check my MySpace page or whatever.

[1209] No, it wasn't that.

[1210] It was like you're on the road.

[1211] You're everywhere you go.

[1212] You're eating dinner.

[1213] You're in your car at stoplights.

[1214] You're looking at your Twitter feed.

[1215] You know, you see people that are just glued to it.

[1216] They can't have a conversation.

[1217] I have some people that come on the podcast, and we're in the middle of conversations, and then you start, yeah, yeah, yeah, totally.

[1218] They're not even listening.

[1219] They're not even paying attention.

[1220] They're just looking at their fucking phone.

[1221] Like, they can't help it, man. can't help it.

[1222] There's this weird, like, pull.

[1223] It just, maybe there's some interesting information.

[1224] And most of the time, there's not.

[1225] Most of the time, it's not, it's like you're searching for a present.

[1226] Like, maybe there's one more Christmas present out of that tree.

[1227] I just got to find that present.

[1228] But it's not there.

[1229] It's very rare that your obsession pays off when you're, like, staring at social media.

[1230] Yeah.

[1231] It's very rare that it was, like, worth the look.

[1232] We're just looking to see what your friends are doing or thinking.

[1233] But, like, you don't care what your friends are doing.

[1234] or thinking like if it's cool to call you yeah you know hey man something fucking crazy happened yeah but now it's like you're constantly looking for more data and i think the newness of it is like really attracted attractive to us in a way that we have a really hard time controlling you know or it's just the beginning of it's metamorphosis it's the beginning of evolution like to us becoming like a synthetic kind of non -carbon based you know silicone based being kind of thing and you know then we put nanobots in ourselves and, you know, it's just the first step of that evolving.

[1235] Yeah, I think so.

[1236] I think that's most definitely what it is.

[1237] There was an article recently, I think yesterday, about this guy who's dying of cancer.

[1238] Leukemia, I believe, and he's going to be the first person that they inject nanobots into.

[1239] Wow.

[1240] Yeah, it's just fucking it's begun.

[1241] These tiny little robots, like without it, he's going to die, so let's give it a shot.

[1242] And I've heard that's supposed to be the norm within like 15 years.

[1243] What if this dude becomes Dr. Manhattan, just like figures out everything.

[1244] Starts glowing, he's blue, he sees dick everywhere he goes, he doesn't care.

[1245] I think human beings will definitely have some sort of a weird symbiotic relationship with computers within the next decade.

[1246] They'll be implants that you'll be able to get data directly downloaded into your brain.

[1247] I mean, I think it's only a matter of time before they do that.

[1248] Well, they're saying, I mean, I was reading something where they're saying the nanobots thing is going to be commonplace within like 15 years where you know you inject them into you and then it just constantly is doing readouts like oh your your platelets are low oh your white blood cells are low like and it's just telling like your doctor so you can you know keep up with everything Kurzweil believes within the next few decades you're going to have nanobots that are going to allow you to hold your breath for over an hour they're going to give you these nanobots that somehow another do something with maybe artificial blood cells or something like that, where they can hold and carry oxygen through your system so well that you'll be able to take a deep breath, jump to the bottom of the pool, and sit there for an hour, like a regular person.

[1249] That's fucking dope.

[1250] It's fucking crazy, man. No more worrying about drowning for your friend.

[1251] Yeah.

[1252] That dummy.

[1253] Just hold his breath.

[1254] Hold your breath and walk back.

[1255] Just get on the ground, on the bottom of the ocean, walk home.

[1256] That's awesome.

[1257] Well, there's already experiments where they've transmitted words from one person to another person in their brain through the internet.

[1258] Really?

[1259] Yeah.

[1260] Yeah, they transmitted a word from one person.

[1261] Jamie, pull that up because it's kind of difficult to describe exactly what they did, but somehow or another, like, say if you're thinking Christmas tree, you know, you actually can send that word to me through the Internet, and somehow or another, I receive it.

[1262] I'm not sure I understand it.

[1263] Yeah, is it visualized?

[1264] I don't know.

[1265] Look at this.

[1266] Scientists transmit thoughts from one person.

[1267] brain to another.

[1268] International team of scientists have succeeded in transmitting the thoughts of one individual into the brain of a second person located thousands of miles away, combining some of the latest technological marvels with the long arm of the internet is thought to be the first time the two brains have communicated with each other directly over long distance without the sender having to utter a single word.

[1269] Two greetings.

[1270] Ola and chow.

[1271] Oh, can't even do it in America?

[1272] How come you can't use English, you fucking quers?

[1273] Made the historic trip from India to France, where, oh, excuse me, France, where they were received and spoken by a researcher who was blindfolded and equipped with earplugs.

[1274] Wow.

[1275] Scientists want to ensure that the receiver knew what his colleague 5 ,000 miles away was thinking because of the brain -to -brain transmission, not because of some other cue.

[1276] That's amazing.

[1277] So somehow or another, those two words were transmitted and they knew what those two words were.

[1278] Thousands of miles.

[1279] I don't get it, man. Yeah, but sounds good.

[1280] Right, but I like it.

[1281] If you told me 30 years ago that they were going to be able to send a video through the mail, I'd be like, what are you even talking about or through the air on a phone?

[1282] Yeah.

[1283] I'd be like, what?

[1284] What's a video?

[1285] You're going to be able to send a video that you're watching it on what?

[1286] You're watching on TV?

[1287] Yeah.

[1288] Wait a minute, hold on.

[1289] So a TV show and it's going to be on what?

[1290] You're going to hold on to something?

[1291] Like in Star Trek, they didn't even have fucking if you look at those stupid phones that they have?

[1292] They didn't have buttons on them.

[1293] They would just, like, Kirk out.

[1294] Like, the spaceship had to know that they were calling Kirk.

[1295] But Kirk could call the spaceship, and that's it.

[1296] He couldn't call his girlfriend.

[1297] He couldn't get to say, hey, man, you guys want to eat?

[1298] Like, there wasn't any of that going on.

[1299] Like, they didn't even think that would be possible.

[1300] Yeah.

[1301] But they thought that they'd be able to beam you to break your body down into, like, subatomic particles and reconstruct you on the surface of an alien planet.

[1302] And, like, that makes sense.

[1303] But you got to walkie -talkie.

[1304] or something you gotta say kirk out you know kirk out you know you couldn't even couldn't even like see call ended on your phone like yeah we don't even have any idea what they're going to be able to figure out within the next few years like the concept of transmitting a word through the internet and us understanding what that word is to you and i it's like what are you talking about but 10 20 years from now they're going to be like of course you do that that's what you do like you just send words to each other oh it'd be terrible if like Like it ends up being like a Twitter thing where it's just like, you know, everybody's stupid.

[1305] Like, went to the mall.

[1306] It's just constantly rattling around your brain.

[1307] Do you think that Twitter's making people stupid?

[1308] No. It's making some people stupid, right?

[1309] I think it's just, I mean, I don't think it makes people stupid.

[1310] I think it's just like, you know, it's just more distractions.

[1311] Yeah.

[1312] Well, you know what is the weirdest thing to me?

[1313] There's some people that use Twitter, and it seems like, Like everything they're posting, they're, like, manipulating what they think or what they're saying.

[1314] They're manipulating it in order to get a positive reaction from people.

[1315] Like, I almost feel like they're not really communicating.

[1316] They're, like, selling themselves.

[1317] Yeah.

[1318] You know, they're, like, faking it.

[1319] I always feel that, like, when, like, a celebrity dies.

[1320] Like, and then everybody posts, like, oh, my God, this guy meant this to me, or this to me, this to me, this to me, this to me. And, like, I get it, you know, but, like, it's, it always, it seems to be about themselves.

[1321] kind of in a weird way where it's like this is how much this affected my life and this or like any sort of issue that people like there's like a bandwagon of everybody jumping on like we got to find cony you know we got to find cony you know like that and it's just your entire timeline it's just everybody talking about cony and i'm like you watched a video you know and that went away immediately because the guy jerked off in public that's it yeah that's all you do he's running around his underwear in san diego beaten off on a street losing his mind And they were like, and this is meanwhile, this was just the messenger.

[1322] The guy, Coney, was still a piece of shit.

[1323] Right.

[1324] Still a bad guy in Africa, murdering people and shit.

[1325] And everybody's like, yeah, but that guy was beaten off.

[1326] I don't want to be a part of this.

[1327] Well, the weird thing.

[1328] The weird thing about the Coney thing for me was like when it, because it came out of nowhere.

[1329] It was just everybody being like, Coney, Coney, Coney, like, you know.

[1330] And then you're like, okay, well, that seems like an asshole, you know, child army, never good, you know.

[1331] And then you look into it and you're like, so what are you doing?

[1332] And they're like, well, we want to get the United States involved and send like troops over there.

[1333] And you're like, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, hold on.

[1334] You know, we've got a couple countries we're already doing that with.

[1335] Do we need to be adding to the thing?

[1336] To get after one guy because he just fits on a bumper sticker?

[1337] Yeah.

[1338] Tony 2012.

[1339] And I'm pretty sure if we go over there, we're not going to grab all those kids and put him into school.

[1340] I think we're going to probably, you know, kill all of his kids, you know.

[1341] That's kind of what we do when we go over places.

[1342] They're going to shoot at us.

[1343] We're going to shoot back.

[1344] We're super sorry.

[1345] But we had to save those kids by shooting them.

[1346] Yeah, the Coney 2012 and the Ice Bucket Challenge, they both had that thing in common where I felt like there was an insincerity to the message that people were sending out through social media.

[1347] Like they were sending it out to get social media brownie points.

[1348] Right.

[1349] They wanted everyone to know that they're super conscious and super progressive.

[1350] And that's one of the things that drives me nuts.

[1351] There's certain Twitter pages that I'll visit.

[1352] One of them recently blocked me because I mocked him on the podcast.

[1353] hilarious.

[1354] By the way, dummy.

[1355] Don't you know that all I have to do is log out and I can still see your Twitter page, you dip shit?

[1356] It's public.

[1357] Just type it into a browser and read all your stupidity.

[1358] But this guy's entire Twitter page is like telling people how they should be living and telling people what's wrong with the way other people are living and what's wrong with the way other people are thinking and what's so bad about certain social issues.

[1359] It's hilarious.

[1360] Like don't you have sandwiches that you?

[1361] Like isn't there like a movie you enjoyed did you have a great time to did you have a revelation today?

[1362] Did you feel bad about something that maybe you thought?

[1363] Did you have any is there any unique insight as to you as a human being or is your whole thing like lessons to other people?

[1364] Yeah, like everybody needs to learn and this is what's wrong with this and this is what's wrong with that and it's all like that those type of people are almost all either like extreme right wing like real like heavy duty Republicans like this one dumb ass that I go to, he's a young Earth Christian guy, and, you know, everything in his entire timeline is anti -Obama, anti -liberal, anti -gay, anti -dinosaur, and then this other guy go to is extreme left -wing, and everything that he does is, like, super progressive, super, like, really, like, Uber -left -wing, Uber socially conscious, to the point where I'm not buying it.

[1365] You sound, you know, you're not even a human.

[1366] Right.

[1367] Like you're like a sounding board for progressive issue.

[1368] Yeah, you made activism your personality.

[1369] Exactly.

[1370] That's a great way to put it.

[1371] You've made activism your personality.

[1372] It's a great way to put it.

[1373] And it's not really activism.

[1374] It's just talking.

[1375] Yeah.

[1376] You're just yapping and bitching about shit.

[1377] Yeah.

[1378] You know, either bitching about shit or proclaiming the right way to be.

[1379] And it's always like, you know, pro -transgender, pro -gay, pro -the.

[1380] It's like I can guess, like, super easy what your position is going to.

[1381] be on anything it's gonna be like super uber left wing like down the pipe every time no nuance no subtlety to it like you're gonna subscribe to whatever the agenda is or subscribe to whatever the ideology you know fits there's a fetishization of um being outraged or being offended you know for a lot of like on on both sides of the thing where you've you know you've you know you know you I mean, there's genuine outrage and there's genuine being offended at things that there should be, you know, you should be offended by, but then there's some of these people that you see, it just seems like, well, you're kind of reaching.

[1382] They're recreationally offended.

[1383] Yeah.

[1384] Yeah.

[1385] They're looking for it.

[1386] There's a lot of reaching.

[1387] But there's also, I think a lot of it is people just getting used to this new ability to communicate.

[1388] And they're finding that, I think for some of these people, some of these people are severely socially retarded.

[1389] and they're finding that they can get love and support when they say things that other folks will agree with so then that's all they say they're all they're doing is like saying things they think other people will agree with and they'll just sound these things out and say them and it's like most of it is like duh you know like there's a lot of stuff like you know like we should be we should end sexual discrimination of course yeah like who the fuck doesn't is that how is you are you really going to end sexual discrimination by writing about it on Twitter if there a vote yeah like it's gonna be 99 % of people that say you check yes we should end sexual discrimination yeah you know there's a recent study that showed that most people that work out and exercise he's backing up sucking on that robot dick hear it you hear it folks I gotta get you one of these dude these don't make any sound bro you just gotta fucking cut your hands up while you carry it it's only sharp edges that is who there's sharp edges and you know what you could use this for if you had a particularly tough cut of meat you can roll this fucker oh yeah all over the meat and it would really soften it up nicely it's tenderizer yeah it's a meat tenderizer I mean it really is if you didn't have a meat tenderizer in your house you could absolutely use this giant hunk of copper it's fucking weight it's a sound yeah but I think oh shit I put it on the wrong spot I put the put it heads down heads up it's piece of shit thanks for that though house fire with that if you just left it up overnight and then the whole copper heats up and just burns through your table you know what happened it would make weird noises and then your cat would come over and your cat would touch it with his paw and then he would burst into flames and then he would jump on the couch freaking out trying to into the couch would go up and then your fucking whole house is a Ben Stiller movie it's just like what is yeah it was more like an Adam Sandler movie no it'd be more Benziller right maybe Will Ferrell I'll say Will Ferrell.

[1390] I think that the internet and the ability to communicate, it's so fresh that there's all these like archetype, like stereotypical sort of characters that have come up like the right wing guy.

[1391] Like you know who's a great one to follow?

[1392] Chuck Woolery.

[1393] Oh, yeah.

[1394] Two and two.

[1395] We'll be right back in two and two and two.

[1396] All that guy does his bitch about Obama all day.

[1397] It's all about the Dems.

[1398] He writes things like, anybody you write the Dems, you're an idiot.

[1399] If you write the Dems or the Libs, you're retarded, okay?

[1400] No Obama.

[1401] Yeah, no Obama is great.

[1402] But all he does is complain about Obama all day.

[1403] All day, his fucking entire Twitter feed is complaining about the liberals.

[1404] You know, meanwhile, it's like living in Texas and bass fishing and whining and doing commercials for like prostate pills.

[1405] Does he do, I mean, I feel like a lot of those guys do, like, does he have a radio show?

[1406] I don't think he does.

[1407] Doesn't he?

[1408] Is he auditioning for a radio show?

[1409] Is that what the Twitter feed is a...

[1410] Here's his...

[1411] Oh, he has a fuck.

[1412] Save us.

[1413] Save us Chuck is...

[1414] Oh, come on.

[1415] I did his show back...

[1416] Hold on a second.

[1417] Look at this.

[1418] Today on Save Us Chuck.

[1419] Get the fuck out of here.

[1420] That's his show.

[1421] That is so ridiculous.

[1422] The idea that you would call your show, Save Us Chuck.

[1423] Political satire from a Hollywood conservative.

[1424] Oh my god Oh it's political satire Is that what it is?

[1425] You know it would be better If somebody like Onion style Made a Save Us Chuck And just mocked it openly Nothing ever gets saved From an old actor I mean Don't even play any of it Jamie He's probably gonna run for a congressman or something Wherever he lives Game show legend Chuck Woolery considers why Democrats are willing To support Bonner why NASA and global warming When the government is in charge of your fund When the government is in charge of your funding You tow the company line Just like all government fund in science What does that mean?

[1426] Does he mean he doesn't believe in global warming?

[1427] Of course you don't That's an ideological thing The right wing are reluctant to agree In climate change being something That's a product of human beings Oh is he running for president It says if you elect me president My press secretary would be Oh my God, is he serious?

[1428] Oh, I hope that happens.

[1429] And he writes, if you, in gigantic capital letters, elect me president.

[1430] Write him in.

[1431] That would be hilarious.

[1432] That would be great.

[1433] I always felt like he seemed like a nice guy when he's on that show.

[1434] I did his show.

[1435] I did the dating game.

[1436] Get the fuck out of here.

[1437] When I was 18 years old.

[1438] No. I was doing a, I did stand -up at the laugh factory when I was 18.

[1439] And they had scouts for the dating game in the audience.

[1440] And they were like, I guess at that time they were doing two contact.

[1441] contestants and then the third contestant was always a comedian so they were going trying to find like kids that were doing stand -up and like basically you want to be on the dating game so I got to go do what was that like it was weird I mean it was it was actually really like um because of laws or whatever they had to make sure that everything is as it's as as they say so you're not allowed to see the other contest that you're not allowed to see the girl right um so they have people following you around with walkie -talkies like you know make sure you don't look at her contestant number three is on the way to the bathroom, you know, make sure that, you know, so there is really, like, there was a lot of security.

[1442] Wow, that's interesting.

[1443] What is, did you meet Chuck?

[1444] Did you hang with him?

[1445] Did you talk to him about the libs?

[1446] No. I, uh, he, I met him when the show started and went, yeah, that was it.

[1447] Here's a perfect ticket.

[1448] Chuck Willery, Ted Nugent, together at last.

[1449] Come on.

[1450] I'd vote for it.

[1451] Would you?

[1452] Just to see what happens?

[1453] Yeah.

[1454] I would like to, I would vote for someone ridiculous like that if they got in office and see things go exactly the same.

[1455] when they've always gone like just like Obama yeah that's the kind of thing I would be really fascinated with yeah like you know it'd be like I bet you know like really see like how much power the president actually has you know I would love to see what happens if you did the social stuff though is dangerous the real danger with things like like when really hardcore Republicans get in it's like things like gay rights uh abortion rights like things along those lines that is a real like marijuana legalism The support of the DEA rating medical marijuana That gets that's real that's real like they really do have an impact on social issues Supreme Court justices mm -hmm yeah that's a big that's a big that's a big power the president has but yeah Choosing those right -wing fuckheads who barely believe in evolution if they said You can vote for a starfish and a puppy and just see what happens I bet a lot of people would vote We would go to war with Iran the next day.

[1456] Starfish hates Iran.

[1457] The puppies with it.

[1458] Who would be the president?

[1459] The starfish or the puppy?

[1460] Yeah.

[1461] The crazy thing is they're talking about Jeb Bush and Hillary Clinton.

[1462] That is, to me, insane.

[1463] Because doesn't it feel like, you know, you're just like, oh, the whole thing's fake?

[1464] Yes.

[1465] The whole thing, oh, I mean, you kind of felt it the whole time, but isn't this like, this is the smoking gun like, oh, it's all rigged.

[1466] It's all been a trick.

[1467] Like, I mean, Clinton for eight years, old Bush for four, and then young Bush for eight, we got Obama.

[1468] Like, hey, we got a new name.

[1469] And then, what, is Obama's wife going to run next?

[1470] Or the kids.

[1471] Yeah.

[1472] Well, you have Chelsea Clinton, then you've got.

[1473] No, but they really do.

[1474] They've got another, they've got a brand new bush.

[1475] They've down in Texas.

[1476] A new one.

[1477] Yeah.

[1478] Who's the new one?

[1479] He just ran for treasury or something.

[1480] And he won, and he's.

[1481] And he's young and he's handsome, and he's like, they're saying like he's like the next in cue.

[1482] Oh, God, Neil Bush.

[1483] No, that's not Neil.

[1484] It's another one.

[1485] He's fairly young.

[1486] Look up like Texas.

[1487] Midland, Texas.

[1488] It's recent.

[1489] How many bushes are there?

[1490] Neil Bush and his family.

[1491] Maybe he's not Neil.

[1492] It's another George.

[1493] Scary -ass robots.

[1494] It's, yeah, he's a Texas.

[1495] He just won election like this year or last year.

[1496] Chuck Woolery.

[1497] That's who I'm voting for.

[1498] God damn it.

[1499] Just save us, Chuck.

[1500] We'll be right back in two and two.

[1501] He'd end all his fucking press conferences like that.

[1502] Oh, God.

[1503] I wonder if he would be terrified if he won the presidency, just being like, oh, like, I wonder if he would realize that he's not probably capable of being president or if you just not get it at all.

[1504] Just be like, I should be president.

[1505] I think he probably thinks he should be president.

[1506] Yeah.

[1507] Ted Nudjean thinks he should be president.

[1508] It's a narcissism thing.

[1509] Just the idea that I should be in charge is all presidents are probably crazy.

[1510] I don't think anybody should be president.

[1511] I really don't think that it should be an option.

[1512] Should be a computer.

[1513] Yeah.

[1514] I mean, we'll probably get there in the next 20 years.

[1515] We have a computer.

[1516] We program in all of our laws, you know, and we were like, okay, now, you know, make the right choice.

[1517] Yeah, but it's programmed by people and people can influence the programming.

[1518] I mean, that was one of the big deals with electronic voting machines, right?

[1519] No, we have that computer be built by a computer.

[1520] Oh, but then we're fucked because the computer is just going to take over.

[1521] Then it's like what Elon Musk is worried about.

[1522] George P. Bush.

[1523] See, look at that.

[1524] That's going to be the next.

[1525] He's going to be present.

[1526] He's got a lazy eye.

[1527] Look at a left eye.

[1528] So did Kennedy.

[1529] Somebody punched him.

[1530] Kennedy had a lazy eye?

[1531] Yeah.

[1532] I dated a girl had a lazy eye, and I found lazy eye sexy for a short period of time.

[1533] She was kind of a freak.

[1534] She was a freak with a lazy eye.

[1535] I developed a lazy eye fetish for at least a year.

[1536] Did you?

[1537] It's a very small you porn search.

[1538] Well, why are glasses hot?

[1539] Girls with glasses are hot.

[1540] You know, girls with crutches aren't hot.

[1541] Like, why is some disabilities hot?

[1542] Mm -hmm.

[1543] You know, a girl with glasses is something sexy about, like, hot checks or glasses.

[1544] Because it's like an older authority figure.

[1545] Glasses are authority.

[1546] Ooh, is that what it is?

[1547] Someone who's reading so much, their eyes go bad.

[1548] Yeah.

[1549] Look at that hot bitch.

[1550] You can't even see.

[1551] Plus, you can take your glasses off your ugly She doesn't even know She can feel you though If you're fat and ugly She'd be like, damn she can feel me She can't see you.

[1552] Girl with glasses and no hands There you go She'd feel your weight on top of her though You know she wraps her legs around you She's like what is all this fucking fat You slob Like what are you talking about?

[1553] You don't have hands What are you being picky for it?

[1554] Fetches are weird man I had a foot fetish, too, when I was a kid for a little while.

[1555] I got rid of it.

[1556] That's a popular one.

[1557] I don't get it.

[1558] I don't get that one.

[1559] But it's just...

[1560] All I need is one girl when you're like 18 to play with your dick with her feet.

[1561] And then you got it.

[1562] And then you're good.

[1563] Yep.

[1564] It's over.

[1565] All you need is one bad nanny growing up.

[1566] And you got a foot fetish.

[1567] Yeah, there was a...

[1568] I mean, I used to talk about it in my act.

[1569] There was a magazine that we found in the woods once when I was a kid.

[1570] It was called...

[1571] It was foot action magazine.

[1572] And it was...

[1573] Me and these two friends of mine and my friend Josh and my friend, my friend Pedro, and we're going over these, these magazines, like some dude left a magazine bag, like a plastic bag under a log.

[1574] And when you're a kid and you're in the woods and you find magazines, it's almost always porn.

[1575] And so we're going through this magazine and it was just like, no one was talking because it was all like foot stuff.

[1576] you know it's like weird and then um like three minutes in my friend goes dude the shit is all just dicks and feet I'll never forget him saying that I never forget those words coming out of his mouth because we were totally quiet while we're like we're confused because we're only like 11 and he's like dude the shit is all just dicks and feet and articles there was no articles man Well, you know, obviously, again, pre -internet, you know, any 11 -year -old kid has probably seen hours of hardcore ass porn.

[1577] At this point, yeah.

[1578] Yeah.

[1579] I just think it's so crazy.

[1580] I mean, there's a time where there's just, like, you know, guys would just go out into the woods with a foot magazine and just jerk off and leave it there.

[1581] Like, that's, like, the scariest I can think of.

[1582] Meanwhile, there's probably someone listening to us right now with earbuds jerking off to a foot magazine.

[1583] Yeah.

[1584] Just, what?

[1585] Who thought that weird?

[1586] Hey, how did you guys know, man?

[1587] I mean, when you get enough numbers, you know, you know.

[1588] you get like a million people that listen to a podcast at once, you know, there's got to be one dude out there jerking off to a foot magazine.

[1589] Yeah.

[1590] If you looked at a, there's a million, yeah, right?

[1591] That's one of the bigger fetishes, isn't it?

[1592] Probably.

[1593] It's a pretty big one.

[1594] Yeah.

[1595] But like, what is there, what are their big fetishes?

[1596] Like, big girls?

[1597] Some guys, like, really big girls.

[1598] Yeah.

[1599] Um, uh, there's the, all the kids that dress up like animals.

[1600] Furries.

[1601] Furries.

[1602] Have you ever seen them?

[1603] Oh, my.

[1604] I went, I've never seen.

[1605] I mean, I, um, we were playing a festival in Atlanta.

[1606] and it was the furry convention in town, the same day.

[1607] And we were all in the same hotel room, and we had driven from Florida.

[1608] We had just done a show in Florida, and then we were sketched out by the hotel that was provided for us.

[1609] We're like, we're just going to fucking drive to, like, Atlanta.

[1610] So we drove all night.

[1611] So we got into the...

[1612] That hotel was so sketching, you drove all night?

[1613] It was, there was blood.

[1614] We flipped the mattress over, and there was blood on the bottom of it.

[1615] Flip it back.

[1616] No, I mean, we flipped it for a reason.

[1617] there was shit on one side so we're like fuck this for driving atlanta so we drove like all night and then we get in and we're like we're all almost like delirious like tired so i'm like i get into hotel and then we're seeing all these furries everywhere and i was like what the fuck is it um and is your mascot convention yeah yeah well the weird thing is like kids are coming up to them because the kids see like you know oh it's a mascot and they're like hugging them i'm like don't hug that costume um it's not goofy but I checked into my room, and there was, you know, most of the hotel was ran by furries, and there was the loudest, like, sex going on, like, against the wall while I was trying to sleep.

[1618] And all I wanted to do is, like, midday.

[1619] And I just wanted to get, like, a couple hours of sleep before the show that night.

[1620] And it's just, like, loud sex.

[1621] And then these guys just getting in fights being like, I would never, I would never.

[1622] There's repeating that again and again.

[1623] I would never, like, you know, like, and then just more sex kind of stuff.

[1624] And then it was, that's my only encounter with furries.

[1625] I stumbled upon one as well in Pittsburgh.

[1626] I was in Pittsburgh, and apparently that's one of the places where they have big, they used to have a big one in San Diego, but they moved it to Pittsburgh because Pittsburgh is more open -minded than San Diego.

[1627] That doesn't make any sense to me. But this guy was telling me that he might be bullshit in me, but apparently San Diego is like a pretty, conservative town in a lot of ways because there's a lot of military down there well you put a furry convention in a military community that's probably not I had never seen it in person and it was just total dumb luck that we were in town the exact same time and when we got to our hotel the people that were working there were ecstatic to talk to people that weren't furries and wanted to tell you all the things the furries were asking for and one of the crazy things they were asking for they want all their food and bowls they want to eat on the ground like a dog, and they asked, like, room service.

[1628] They could deliver their food in bowls, like milk.

[1629] They wanted milk in a bowl, like a dog, so they could drink out of it.

[1630] And they wanted a litter box in the hallway.

[1631] They asked for a litter box in the lobby.

[1632] They got to draw the line there.

[1633] Like, they were like, what, the guy was like, what?

[1634] And I said, hold on.

[1635] The guy asked you to put a litter box, like a regular -sized litter box?

[1636] He goes, no, they wanted a large box.

[1637] They wanted to pay to have a large litter box installed in the lobby.

[1638] and his their thoughts were hey we have this whole hotel we bought out the whole hotel wasn't the whole hotel i was in the hotel too right but there was a few other people that weren't furry so you want a shit in the lobby they wanted a shit in the lobby that's in at least p like they asked the guy i mean he could have been they could have been pulling the guy's leg but i guarantee you if the guy said yes somebody would have a shit in that lobby oh yeah somebody if they had like a big like sandbox yeah like one of the ones that kids play in fill with cat litter i i I love going to, like, different, like, groups, message boards and just, like, hanging out on them, like, lurking on them and just reading them.

[1639] And it's, like, one of my favorite things to do at night.

[1640] And I've been on, like, furry ones before.

[1641] And it's like, they're, like, serious about that stuff.

[1642] It's insane.

[1643] It's like, it's like, and that is a very new thing.

[1644] Mm -hmm.

[1645] Yeah.

[1646] Something happened.

[1647] I don't know if it's Wi -Fi signals or cell phone service.

[1648] But something.

[1649] something did something to people vaccines yeah jennie mccarthy's right what if it's um there's the other thing these uh spirit animals like people like like i'm i'm a fox kin like i'm fox is my spirit animals other kids there's planet kins there's girls who think that i do a song about it on this new album um i do a song called bullies where the whole point of the song is like you know everyone's cracking down these bullies but like okay fine bullies are bad But like if the bullies go away, we're screwed like because people get out of control Because they're keeping you in line.

[1650] Like, you know, when I was a kid, I, you know, you go away for the summer, you know, you don't see your friends so much like that.

[1651] And so I was really into Ninja Turtles.

[1652] And like, and so then when it gets to be around like 13 or years old, like I come back to school with all my Ninja Turtle toys, you know, thinking that everybody's going to like, you know, be still into Ninja Turtles.

[1653] And then everybody just made fun of me. Like, what are you doing toys?

[1654] And I was like, okay, good, duly noted, got rid of them, and it was fine, like, you know, because the bullies kept me in line.

[1655] They kind of told me, like, that's not cool anymore.

[1656] Yeah, they mock you.

[1657] Yeah.

[1658] When I was a kid, I was 11, and I moved from Florida to Boston.

[1659] And I guess I was 11, 12, I might have been 13.

[1660] Yeah, about 13.

[1661] And I guess I was in middle school.

[1662] And I went to this, I was in Jamaica Plain, which is kind of, now it's become more gentrified.

[1663] But when I lived there, it was pretty sketchy.

[1664] It was like late 70s, early, like maybe 1980, at the latest 1980.

[1665] I think high school freshman year was 81 for me. So I guess it was like 1979 or 1980.

[1666] And I had like an incredible Hulk lunchbox.

[1667] And, you know, and when you're in a fucking, you know, quote unquote urban middle school and you show up with a fucking cartoon lunchbox, you get shit all over.

[1668] I had that lunchbox for one day I remember like I was so happy I got this lunchbox I was like super psyched I love the Hulk and they fucking looked at me like I was like a victim I was like ready I was gonna get attacked like I was a limping antelope straying in front of the water hole back of the herd yeah you know I was I realized I gotta get rid of this thing I remember thinking to myself I gotta leave it in a locker somewhere yeah I gotta take this lunch box and just leave it somewhere I can't even bring it home because like I'm in danger carrying it around like carrying around like Like it was a target.

[1669] None of the other kids had lunch boxes with, like, cartoon.

[1670] Like, there was no innocence at all.

[1671] It was non -existent.

[1672] It was, like, a dangerous, creepy school environment.

[1673] And here I'm walking around with this fucking lunchbox.

[1674] But if you didn't have that experience, you could be dressing up like Hulk today being in a hotel room with like...

[1675] Comic -Con.

[1676] Yeah.

[1677] But it's not bad.

[1678] I mean, Comic -Con, I've never been.

[1679] I've been to San Diego while it was happening.

[1680] They're having a good time, you know?

[1681] Yeah.

[1682] No, I think there's a huge difference between the, Cosplayers and Comic -Con and furries.

[1683] What's the difference?

[1684] I don't, I think that they'll...

[1685] You back -trugging.

[1686] No, I'll stick with it.

[1687] I'll stick with it.

[1688] Okay, let's explore this.

[1689] Well, I don't think...

[1690] I think the furry thing, and I'm probably wrong, but the, you know, quick take that I get away from it, is that it seems to be a lot about sex, you know, like dressing up and having sex with other animals.

[1691] They defend that, though.

[1692] Yeah.

[1693] If you bring that up to furries, like I've said, no, it's not about that.

[1694] Furries contact me because we shit on them in the podcast, because, you know, I've heard that as well.

[1695] And they say, it's not about that.

[1696] Yeah.

[1697] But that's what people say about anything.

[1698] People don't want to ever admit it's just about sex, but weird.

[1699] And, okay, but on the other hand, now I'm even, like, doubting myself.

[1700] I'm playing devil's advocate to myself, even if it is about that.

[1701] And it's just a person who wants to dress up like an animal and fuck another guy dressed like an animal.

[1702] Who gives a shit, really?

[1703] I mean, I think it's weird, but, like, you know, it doesn't bother, it doesn't affect me at all.

[1704] It's voluntary.

[1705] Yeah.

[1706] As long as things are voluntary, who cares?

[1707] You could be weird and voluntary.

[1708] It's not a bad thing to want to fuck a mascot, you know?

[1709] Why is that awful?

[1710] But it's also not bad to think it's weird.

[1711] Yeah, it's not bad.

[1712] It's definitely not bad.

[1713] I think it's weird.

[1714] But there's a lot of weird shit that we just accept.

[1715] Like, what's up with, like, garter belts?

[1716] Like, why do people, like, like, thigh -high stockings and, you know, right elastic bands connect your underwear to your stock what the fuck is all that about that's weird shit too yeah like why's that hot yeah yeah lingerie that i don't get it mm -hmm so oh jesus christ's piece of shit i did it again i set this fucking shitty thing down and it's hot as fuck every time i do it we're gonna burn the studio to the ground the studio's going down but if you look at it like that it's like a like a lunar module or something Yeah, it looks like a miniature from like an old sci -fi film I've never seen one so stupid I've seen a bunch of these things I've never seen one this dumb It's like a flash Gordon Dildo I just can't understand why anybody would make it so hard to hold on to Like the idea that it's so sharp edged Yeah How did that happen?

[1717] Where'd that come from?

[1718] What?

[1719] The giant vape thing How come they have the little e -cigarettes And the little e -cigarettes where it looked like a cigarette Mm -hmm.

[1720] And then it turned to like black ones like, ooh, it's murdered out.

[1721] You got a murdered cigarette.

[1722] It's all blacked out.

[1723] And then it turned into these goddamn robot.

[1724] I think it's all battery life.

[1725] I think it's because the batteries in these things, you know, I think this will last like a day.

[1726] You know, you can kind of hit it all day.

[1727] That's it?

[1728] Yeah.

[1729] That only lasts a day.

[1730] How many times a day do you hit that thing?

[1731] For constantly.

[1732] And you were smoking?

[1733] How much?

[1734] It was a pack a day for a while.

[1735] And then I switched to this.

[1736] And, um, but I bet my nicotine level is through the roof.

[1737] I bet I do, I take in more nicotine now than I, when I smoked a pack of a day.

[1738] But nicotine is not necessarily what's dangerous, right?

[1739] Well, it's not great for you.

[1740] I mean, it's, it'll raise your blood pressure.

[1741] You know, you still got, yeah, you still, um, you still, um, you still got problems with like heart attack, stroke kind of things like that.

[1742] But it's for real?

[1743] Yeah, because it raises, it's a stimulant.

[1744] So it raises your blood pressure.

[1745] You've got to really jack it up all day, though, to get that kind of response, don't you?

[1746] Yeah, which I do.

[1747] I do.

[1748] Like, um, but, uh, but like as far as carcinogens, I think it's pretty in the clear.

[1749] As far as they know right now.

[1750] Did you ever see that, um, Russell Crowe?

[1751] He's backing up.

[1752] You hear it?

[1753] I'm trying to keep it quiet for the podcast.

[1754] No, we don't, don't worry about it, man. What was that Russell Crow movie, the insider?

[1755] Is that what it was?

[1756] Yeah.

[1757] Where he was a scientist that worked for the cigarette companies and was, um, he was testifying about all the different chemicals that they put.

[1758] Yeah.

[1759] That's terrifying shit.

[1760] Yeah.

[1761] The number of chemicals they allowed.

[1762] The FDA allowed 599 plus chemicals.

[1763] That's great.

[1764] I mean, I remember, I was just talking about this last week where there's, I remember when I was a kid, you know, you download, like, Anarchist Cookbook and all this stuff from, like, the Internet.

[1765] And there was a CIA handbook that you could download.

[1766] I don't know if it's real or not.

[1767] But one of the things that they told you how to do in there is they said there's enough chemicals in a pack of cigarettes to kill somebody.

[1768] And you boil it down, you distill it, and you can make, like, a paste that you'd put on, like, a doorknob.

[1769] And then if somebody, like, touches it, it'll kill them.

[1770] Like, it'll give them, like, same type of deal with the nicotine thing, where it's an absorbent, you know, toxin.

[1771] That's so crazy.

[1772] That's so crazy.

[1773] It says here, cigarette smoke contains 4 ,000 chemicals, including 43 known cancer -causing compounds and 400 other toxins.

[1774] 43 out of 4 ,000 is not that bad, though.

[1775] if you, you know, only 43 of them cause cancer.

[1776] But there is 599 ingredients.

[1777] So I don't know why there's 599 ingredients and 4 ,000 chemicals.

[1778] I don't know how that works.

[1779] But all those things were approved.

[1780] That's what's really crazy.

[1781] Like they say, yeah, yeah, yeah, put that in.

[1782] We're thinking about throwing formaldehyde and just like, oh, yeah, cool, cool, cool, cool.

[1783] We're still golfing, right?

[1784] Yeah, you're golfing.

[1785] I mean, they threw all these different chemicals, and what's really fascinating about it is the object or the, the purpose of all these chemicals is just to try to make you more addictive.

[1786] Right.

[1787] That's what it is.

[1788] That's where the flavor comes from.

[1789] Does it?

[1790] I don't know.

[1791] I don't think so.

[1792] Cancer chemicals?

[1793] I mean, they're just, they add a bunch of shit, according to least to that movie, that Russell Crow movie.

[1794] Yeah.

[1795] Just to try to get you more and more hooked.

[1796] Yeah.

[1797] Does a great job.

[1798] Yeah.

[1799] It's really addictive.

[1800] Imagine if you came out with a product today that did the damage the cigarette did and you tried to push it.

[1801] you know, if you came out with some new thing.

[1802] Yeah.

[1803] And it killed, you know, it was fucking half a million people a year.

[1804] Like a vaporizer that gets super hot and burns down.

[1805] This isn't killing anybody, man. Not yet.

[1806] It's not mass produced.

[1807] Do you think they're dangerous?

[1808] No, I was talking about that one because it gets so high.

[1809] Yeah, yeah.

[1810] I don't know.

[1811] I mean, it takes a long time to find this stuff out, doesn't it?

[1812] Don't they have to do, like, 20 -year studies and things?

[1813] Like, before they kind of really know?

[1814] I mean, as far as it, you know, I read about it because I do it all, I, I use the vaporizer, so I, like...

[1815] So you worry?

[1816] Yeah, a little bit.

[1817] Like, I look up whenever I see anything about it, and it seems like they find, it's not, it's not as good as not doing anything.

[1818] But it's a lot better than smoking, you know?

[1819] It's not as good for you as not doing it, but it's not as bad for you as smoking cigarettes.

[1820] Yeah.

[1821] So for people that smoke cigarettes, you've got to kind of weigh your options.

[1822] Like, do you think you're going to be able to...

[1823] quit.

[1824] And if you can, you just quit on your own.

[1825] But if you don't think you're going to be able to quit, you can kind of do that and get your fix.

[1826] Is it as good?

[1827] No, it's not as good.

[1828] But like, I've been doing it for like seven years now and now I don't even, like when I want nicotine, I don't think about a cigarette.

[1829] Like, you think about that.

[1830] Yeah.

[1831] What was the last time you smoked a cigarette?

[1832] An hour ago.

[1833] No. I probably actually smoked one probably a month.

[1834] ago but like one at like a party one yeah you could do that yeah because I just I just this I mean I smoke one cigarette maybe three or four times a year like really infrequently now Stephen King gives himself one cigarette when he finishes a book oh wow that's why I write so many books it's his whole motivation but isn't that interesting like he allows himself a cigarette when he finishes a book huh it's a good to help up your productivity.

[1835] There's a documentary that I'm in called The Culture High, recent documentary by the same people that did this other documentary is in called The Union.

[1836] And it's all about how the prison industry and the medical marijuana and marijuana has been demonized, how many people are in jail because of it, just the percentage of people that are nonviolent drug offenders that are in there because of marijuana and how many people, like the literally drug war would dissolve if it wasn't for marijuana being illegal.

[1837] Right.

[1838] The amount of people that get arrested for other drugs pales in comparison.

[1839] But one of the things they talked about was cigarettes and they said that if you take, if you smoke two packs of cigarettes, that's the breaking number where you are 4 ,000 times more likely to get cancer.

[1840] Two packs of cigarettes in your life?

[1841] No. No, no, no. Every day.

[1842] Two packs a day.

[1843] Oh, oh.

[1844] Four thousand times more.

[1845] I might have made those numbers out by the way.

[1846] They sound good.

[1847] I'll listen to it on a plane.

[1848] I mean, I watched on a plane, half a week.

[1849] That's crazy.

[1850] That's a lot of cigarettes, though, two packs a day.

[1851] Not for Doug Stanhope.

[1852] That mother's throws him down.

[1853] John Mellencamp does four.

[1854] Does he really?

[1855] I heard that.

[1856] I read, I was in like one of his show about him.

[1857] He smokes like four.

[1858] But every see him in an interview, he's smoking, and then he's like lighting the other one, like when that one's going out.

[1859] Like, he's just going back to back this thing's all day.

[1860] I was in Indiana and at a UFC, and John Mellencamp was in the audience, and they showed a picture of him.

[1861] You know, they showed the video of him, you know, in the crowd and showed it to the audience, and they booed him.

[1862] Really?

[1863] Boob!

[1864] Liberal!

[1865] They think he's...

[1866] And I had to ask.

[1867] He said, why don't they like John Millingham?

[1868] He's from Indiana.

[1869] I was born in a small town?

[1870] The whole deal?

[1871] Nope.

[1872] He's a liberal.

[1873] He must have said something.

[1874] There must have been something...

[1875] I wonder if he got outspoken on some sort of issue that, like...

[1876] Slavery, something like that.

[1877] He doesn't even like that.

[1878] Yeah, I don't know what it was, man, but they booed the shit out of him.

[1879] And I was like, that is crazy.

[1880] Jack and Diane.

[1881] Yeah, he likes, he's too liberal for Indiana.

[1882] At least that crowd, a UFC crowd in Indiana, they were mad at them.

[1883] I couldn't believe it.

[1884] I was like, this goddamn John Mellencamp, you fucks, commies.

[1885] I wonder if he had any idea of that before he went.

[1886] That's got to suck.

[1887] Go to see, like, a UFC fight and then the entire, like, place hates you?

[1888] Yeah, it was a large number.

[1889] of people booing them too it wasn't just like a couple of booze like scattered in the clapping and applause yeah that's kind of a you tell your wife like you know what i don't think i need to see the rest of the fight let's just get in the car pretend we're going to the bathroom fire up the car let's get a fuck out of here before they lynch us yeah there's uh there certain spots in the country you're not allowed to be liberal you mean you really are not you're allowed to be kind of conservative anywhere you'll be mocked but it's not dangerous right per se but if you're a liberal in certain parts of the country like you are that's the team mentality yeah you a raiders fan you know there's like you know what i mean it's like that team mentality really comes out people love to defend their team and when you are a liberal you're thought to be weak you god damn bleeding heart oh you're going to help all those welfare moms and all the you know they just take that money and spending on fucking drugs don't you know don't you know I can say I hang out on all these conspiracy sites like you know and a lot of them you know get you know a lot of them lean right you know a lot of conspiracy sites and almost all of them right yeah most of them and and remember when Texas was talking about seceding or Rick Perry was talking about seceding from the union yeah that's hilarious when he was about to run for president which was a weird move but he was like he's like you know we can secede and so like everybody on the conspiracy board that were from Texas, there's this big thread where everybody's talking about it.

[1890] And they're like, and everybody was like, the first thing we're going to do is we're going to go to Austin and just kick everybody's ass.

[1891] That's what he said?

[1892] Yeah, that's like, first thing.

[1893] If we secede, we're going to get Austin.

[1894] This is broken.

[1895] Stop working.

[1896] Probably burned it all up.

[1897] That's hilarious.

[1898] I got to put more juice in it?

[1899] Here.

[1900] How much did I burn, dude?

[1901] A lot.

[1902] That's gross.

[1903] Yeah, isn't Texas like, it's a day.

[1904] different sort of a state it's like it's the the way they're set up it's a the republic of texas yeah yeah because they um i've my history's right i think um during or leading up to the civil war texas wanted to be part of the union or it came that texas could be part of the union but then they wouldn't accept them because they thought uh they didn't want to swing the amount of pro slave states um they didn't want to add another pro -slave state and like kind of they had like an equal you know amount of pro -slave and non -slave states so they didn't accept texas entrance into the union so they made their own country and then after the civil war when they asked texas to come into the country they had this kind of um uh caveat you know which they're like okay but at any point if we want to leave we can leave if it gets shitty it's a pre -nup yeah basically Texas is like the only state that came into the country with a pre -nop.

[1905] And where they were like, okay, but we can leave at any time.

[1906] And so I think that's what Rick Perry was talking about.

[1907] Is this the thing I got on screw?

[1908] This is so goofy.

[1909] There's so much involved in these fucking things.

[1910] I can't believe you can only suck on it like four or five times and it runs out of juice.

[1911] Oh, you sat there cooking it for about 10 minutes probably.

[1912] No, it wasn't that long.

[1913] The first time I caught it, I was going for a minute.

[1914] Yeah, but is that cooking the stuff?

[1915] How come it doesn't come out then?

[1916] It was.

[1917] But very little.

[1918] Yeah.

[1919] All right, so where does it go?

[1920] So you put it on that, yeah That?

[1921] This can't be good for you And you got to make that coil, don't you?

[1922] This is my first and last day Oh yeah Because you have to build your own coils in these things What the fuck is wrong with people?

[1923] Like I have a bunch of wire in my car What's wrong with you?

[1924] I just, I love nicotine Is it really worth it?

[1925] It's the greatest drug Alright I'm gonna pour it in See this here ladies gentlemen This is what you do Yeah just a little bit I think That's probably good This doesn't even give me a buzz though I'd rather have a cigar You ever see that there's a video Oh, I fucking spilled everything.

[1926] Watch out.

[1927] You're going to have a heart attack.

[1928] Really?

[1929] No. This video of this guy hand rolling a Cuban cigar with a GoPro on his head.

[1930] It's pretty dope.

[1931] You get to see how they do it.

[1932] It's so much skill involved in that.

[1933] Are those legal here now?

[1934] Yes.

[1935] You're only allowed to have a few, though.

[1936] Do they sell them?

[1937] Can you buy them in Los Angeles?

[1938] It's a good question.

[1939] But I think you're allowed to have a few now because we're kind of opening up the thing.

[1940] Jamie, find that out.

[1941] There's a number that you're allowed to have.

[1942] I'm pretty sure.

[1943] I'd imagine you could buy them now There's a lot of counterfeit ones And apparently there's so much of a demand for Cuban cigars That the quality has diminished For some of them Yeah, they're just not worth as much as they used to be They're just not as good rather as they used to be Because the soil's getting depleted There's a lot of fake ones There's a lot of counterfeit Cuban cigars But it's another one of those things Just like the fucking rich guys that want to go to Everest You can bring in $100 worth of alcohol or tobacco from Cuba Hmm but do they sell them do they sell them here in the States yet?

[1944] I just did it again I put this fucking stupid thing face up I'm gonna be retarded I need to go to a doctor Maybe that's what's happening this thing's making me stupid That's what they'll find out yeah I don't know man that's what happened to everybody well then why why Stephen King say it makes him smarter Well he's just saying it makes him oh yeah, yeah made his brain work maybe it makes him maybe makes you more creative but not smarter well that's what Tony Hinchcliffe says Tony Hitchcliffe says when he smokes and he writes It's just way better It's like his brain just is firing up Well it's almost like you know all those Well I guess everybody smoked so it's not really you know But like all those old writers you think about like Hemingware And it's all it's all smoking and drinking and all this thing Well how about NASA when they were trying to do the moon landing shit They were all in the fucking control room They were all puffing it's kind of crazy Yeah they all had those weird like They're smoking in the spaceship It was just no I don't know They're smoking on the moon There's like so many cigarette butts up there.

[1945] They put the flag in.

[1946] They got an ashtray on the moon.

[1947] Buzz Aldrin.

[1948] Yeah.

[1949] The control room, though, in Houston, when they were all, like, monitoring it, like, they were all smoking.

[1950] There's a bunch of guys smoking.

[1951] And they all looked like Peter Parker's boss from Spider -Man.

[1952] Like, those haircuts.

[1953] What was his name?

[1954] Jay Jonah Jameson?

[1955] Yeah.

[1956] That's what everybody looked like.

[1957] They all died, and they were 50.

[1958] Cancer.

[1959] See you.

[1960] Yeah.

[1961] That's it.

[1962] you got to a certain age there's no wise old men it didn't make it smoke cigarettes to die a few hearty souls lasted deep in their 60s and they talk like this remember those things you'd see people have those things on their neck so they could talk to you like this did they do that anymore is that a thing?

[1963] That's good question there's a commercial that they air from some woman she was beautiful when she was younger and then she smoked a lot of cigarettes and got cancer and now half her face is missing and she's got no throat she wears a wig and yeah she has like the hole I really hate those commercials and she wears this thing on her neck I get the point of the commercials but they're so unpleasant which is the point you know but there was a hack thing the comedians used to do I don't know who invented it first I think it was probably Hicks who first started putting the microphone he put a microphone on his neck and started talking like this and then Leary kind of ripped it off from Hicks and a bunch of other people started ripping it off from each other it became like well no one can tell you you can't do that and then yeah it was the hack thing to do and you know you did a thing about smoking yeah stick the microphone on your neck to represent those things remember they used to have a thing they used to have to put yeah it was like a fake voice box yeah it was just it was something had vibrated right it did what your vocal cords would do yeah or yeah it somehow another picked up on the sounds you were trying to make with your fucking cancer ridden neck And now we'll just be able to send it through our mind Because of that technology So that's the new And maybe your mind would work better if you're smoking Nobody would worry about throat cancer anymore You don't even need that fucking thing Yeah That's the honor We're on our way to becoming aliens Right aliens have those little tiny mouse Because they didn't need them anymore Yeah big giant stupid heads Because all they're doing is like sending data with their heads They need a large hard drive up there Well we'll probably end up just being computers Where we'll upload us Into like some sort of hard drive because probably more complicated than that we're probably going to be some sort of artificial creation like an artificial body like not necessarily a computer but like you know everything about us artificial not like living well you know eventually probably a virtual thing we'll probably realize like why we so hung up on bodies yeah you know just like maybe they'll just be it'll probably just be like a computer that has versions of us just kind of out of well it's good to know where you came from you know the computers paying respect like let's keep you know a lot of them virtually inside of us and then the computers will go out and explore the galaxy and kind of yeah you know and we'll just be kind of an interesting footnote you know that they kind of pay respect to what the fuck yeah we'll be like when you go to the zoo and you see those like fake cave people you know they're like statues of the fake people by the cave like neanderthals yeah like this is where we came from you know they were kind of not as smart as we are and that's That's what we'll be to the computers.

[1964] We'll have people.

[1965] These are early men that have people that are just bent over looking at their phone.

[1966] And that's what they're like, that's baby us.

[1967] That's them with baby us.

[1968] Yeah, instead of like having a club, all those big caveman Flintstone style clubs with the fur on, like, like, you know, 2001, a space odyssey looking people.

[1969] Instead of that, they just have a dude with an iPhone, like staring down.

[1970] tweeting about how great the jinx was.

[1971] And then they'll have Google glasses.

[1972] This was the first step.

[1973] They'll have Google Glass.

[1974] Have you seen the virtual reality ski goggles?

[1975] Where you see the whole world in front of you becomes a desktop and you start manipulating things in front of you.

[1976] Oh, yeah.

[1977] It's like minority report kind of thing.

[1978] But it's all, you're wearing goggles and through these goggles.

[1979] You could see, like I could see you, but I also could like pull up things in front of you.

[1980] Augmented reality, that's what they call them, yeah.

[1981] Yes, augmented reality.

[1982] Augmented reality.

[1983] And then Oculus Rift.

[1984] Yeah, that's going to be huge.

[1985] That's scary.

[1986] That comes out like this year, right?

[1987] I don't know.

[1988] I mean, there's versions of it now.

[1989] Like Duncan Trussell has, he has an older version, but he just tried the newest version.

[1990] He called me up screaming and ranting and raving.

[1991] Yeah.

[1992] Like, apparently it's in 4K, so it's just insanely graphic, like insanely high definition.

[1993] beautiful video and the way they film it they put cameras all over your body like these little small cameras everywhere you're moving that option is available so if you move to the right they've already got video of that you move to the left and the processing speed of computers today is apparently good enough to keep up with this and you go into a room and when you go into this room is a guy playing the piano and he goes you really feel like you're in a room with a guy playing the piano it's that good that's crazy you know I was reading something about this company that's that's trying to start up where what they're going to do is take these because I think it's like a spherical camera that is basically recording in all directions at once but they want to go to like Everest they want to go to the pyramids and they want to plant one of these things and you pay like a monthly service and then you're just sitting in your home you're like I want to see what it's like at the pyramids right now and you put this on and you're there they're going to put one on a satellite in low orbit going around the planet so you can just be like floating in space over like anywhere you want and then the they're saying that like what's really going to be crazy about it is how it's going to change news because like CNN will have their camera like you know Fox News will have their camera so like you know something happens in Ferguson you know they go down there and they plant their camera there and then you can just ever all their viewers can just go and actually be at like the where the news is happening and you can kind of look around and see for yourself you can watch the state of the union with you know the camera there and you see what your specific state senators doing wow you can see John McCain playing poker on his phone talking about going to war with Syria remember when that was going on he was advocating going to war with Syria and he was playing fucking poker angry birds they caught him doing it too man he's still working there like that should be something you should be paying attention to man maybe we should get somebody in there who's paying attention not playing poker on their fucking phone dude Christ how trivial is war to you It's so relaxed It's less important than Farmville Oh, it can't help it It's like someone's sitting there talking to you at dinner They have to check their phone Yeah And the call of kings and queens and aces Just pulls him in Yeah How old is he?

[1994] A thousand Because people were like He was running for present People were like he's gonna die Like in the next year or two And that was eight years ago now Well he's on a hell I mean, it's not like he's just old, and he exercises a lot, and, you know, he's not Jack Lane.

[1995] I mean, he's, he was really fucked up because of being a prisoner warm.

[1996] I mean, he was tortured, and his shoulders are fucked up, like, really beyond repair.

[1997] That's the thing, like, he can't raise his hands.

[1998] He can't, like, raise his arms over his head.

[1999] He's not, like, physically well, but he makes sense sometimes, which is weird.

[2000] You know, he's not off about everything.

[2001] Like, he starts talking, like, one of the things about.

[2002] When he and Obama were debating, they were talking about going into Afghanistan, and, you know, Obama was like, you know, we'll just go in, we'll send troops, we'll take care of the bad guys.

[2003] And McCain was like, do you, whoa, wait a minute, man, that's when McCain made sense because, like, this is a guy who was in war, you know, like was a prisoner of fucking war, was tortured, held by the Viet Cong.

[2004] And he was like, it is not that easy, man. Like, do you know what it's like over there?

[2005] One of the things that he said that really fucking stunned me, and I had to research it, and it turns out it's totally true.

[2006] He said most of Afghanistan operates essentially exactly the way it did when Alexander the Great was around.

[2007] Yeah, he's like, you're talking about a country that's never been conquered.

[2008] Yeah.

[2009] Like the terrain itself makes it just almost impenetrable.

[2010] Like, you're going to send troops into the mountains?

[2011] Yeah.

[2012] And it was like, our plan to, bankrupt the Russians was to get them involved over there.

[2013] Yeah.

[2014] With the same people that were fighting now.

[2015] So it's like we set this great trap and then walked like, you know, just forgot about it.

[2016] It's like the kid from home alone went home one day and forgot all the stuff that he had set for the burglars.

[2017] Well, it's almost like they set a trap and then didn't realize that a trap had heroin in it.

[2018] They're like, oh wait a minute.

[2019] This isn't a charm.

[2020] We left all that great heroin.

[2021] Forget what I said Forget what I said Let's try one more time But do it right and grow heroin Okay This is going to cost us so much money Not really It's actually just a lot of money there Sitting around CIA can move it It'll all be fine With a beautiful thing they found recently They said they found recently That there's trillions of dollars With the minerals in the mountains Yeah Fiam stuff they use To make batteries to blow on this thing now it makes noise I think it's full I think it broke it is it full you had to do it because you saw me do it you get that pull monkey see monkey do it's exciting it's like Pavlov's dog you ring that bell this is not going to be a regular thing folks if you listen to this podcast he got he asked me if he could do his and I said all right yeah do it man and then I'm just fucking doing it too I have bottles of this shit lane what if I drank that How quick would I die?

[2022] Probably pretty quick.

[2023] I think?

[2024] I think within...

[2025] Yeah.

[2026] Like the whole bottle?

[2027] Mm -hmm.

[2028] $10 says that you die within.

[2029] If you pour that in someone's drink.

[2030] Like, you know, people are always talking about, like, pouring roofies in someone's drink.

[2031] What if you pour this into, like, someone had, like, a Jaeger bomb?

[2032] Yeah, you just have a heart attack.

[2033] You just probably have a heart attack within a couple hours.

[2034] God.

[2035] Yeah, right?

[2036] The stimulant.

[2037] It's crazy.

[2038] This guy sent me fucking heart attack juice.

[2039] I got it in my fingers.

[2040] Is that bad?

[2041] I don't think I don't think Dude you had gloves on man Yeah but that was back in 2007 I'm sure they've changed the formula I'm sure this random guy This guy's cool I don't even know what his face looks like How dare I The whole thing is ridiculous man What's the next thing?

[2042] Well they vaporized alcohol now Have you seen that?

[2043] Yeah if you look it up on YouTube It's crazy Yeah it's this It's like this little kit you can buy And you like heat it up And you put like alcohol in it And then people are just taking these vapor hits of alcohol.

[2044] That's crazy.

[2045] And then the FDA just legalized powdered alcohol this week.

[2046] So now you can, like, snort vodka.

[2047] What?

[2048] Yeah.

[2049] They approved it.

[2050] That can't be good.

[2051] But it sounds, but, you know, it sounds worth trying.

[2052] Would you try it?

[2053] Oh, yeah.

[2054] How would you know how much to take?

[2055] Oh, just guess.

[2056] Like, you know, one of the good things about alcohol is it's super powerful, but you kind of know what a shot of tequila is.

[2057] Right.

[2058] Shot of tequila is pretty uniform.

[2059] You know, that's why, like, whiskey is okay, but moonshine's illegal.

[2060] Okay, I guess I never thought about it, but, yeah, you're probably right.

[2061] Because there's some, there's some sort of...

[2062] Well, isn't moonshine just illegal because it's unregulated?

[2063] Yeah.

[2064] You know, and they don't know how, what the percentage is you're putting in there?

[2065] And, like, ever clear.

[2066] That stuff's legal, right?

[2067] Yeah, and some states.

[2068] Some states, it's not.

[2069] Yeah, states have weird laws on booze.

[2070] Like, Utah's got weird laws on booze.

[2071] Like your beer can't even be that strong.

[2072] Yeah, because Mormons.

[2073] Fucking Mormons.

[2074] I was there recently and it was hilarious.

[2075] When we landed, we were coming down the escalator and there was all these people that were waiting there for the missionaries to return, the elders who are in like foreign countries convincing these poor people to sign up and become Mormons.

[2076] Not drink caffeine.

[2077] It's so fucked up, man. So we're coming down the, no, you can drink caffeine.

[2078] Really?

[2079] You can't drink coffee.

[2080] It's a loophole.

[2081] You can't drink.

[2082] can't drink coffee but you can drink caffeine so my friend who was a Mormon used to drink monster energy drinks all day oh wow and I was like wait a minute you're not allowed to drink coffee but you can drink that he's like yeah it's not covered it's not covered by Jesus Jesus doesn't say anything about fucking Zion energy drinks he's cool with Torrine what is Torrine I don't know for you probably that's the shit that's in Red Bull right just fucking dude I'm and I'm not telling I'm not lying he I never saw him it was like he was arm is connected to his can of fucking monster energy drink.

[2083] We'd drink that shit all day long.

[2084] Everyone's got to have something.

[2085] If that's the only thing you can have, and you're going to be addicted to that.

[2086] Well, before he was a Mormon, he had some issues with some substances, and then his wife got him to convert over, and then he just went with the program.

[2087] But he liked his caffeine, so he became a monster's energy drink, kind of a guy.

[2088] But a lot of those dudes that are like AA guys.

[2089] Cigarettes and coffee.

[2090] Mm -hmm.

[2091] Yeah.

[2092] They're not drug -free by any goddamn.

[2093] stretch of the imagination.

[2094] They're just not taking anything that just obliterates your consciousness.

[2095] Right.

[2096] They're just altering it on a consistent basis.

[2097] Yeah.

[2098] Or something that's a little easier on your liver.

[2099] Yeah, it's definitely easy.

[2100] Well, the cigarettes aren't.

[2101] Cigarettes bad for your liver?

[2102] I don't know.

[2103] It's bad for everything.

[2104] Your whole body's like, what do we do with the shit?

[2105] It's in your bloodstream.

[2106] Your pancreas, apparently.

[2107] Pancreatic cancer is a big one with cigarette smokers, the lungs, of course.

[2108] But, you know, it's, it's done so many different processes in your body.

[2109] There's so many different things that are just going, what is all this shit?

[2110] People should just do nitrous all day every day.

[2111] Yeah, just do whippets, man. There's something about doing whippets.

[2112] If you commit to like whippets and huffing paint are kind of in the same category.

[2113] Like, wait, wait, wait, what are you doing?

[2114] You're taking some stuff that you're not supposed to get high with and you're using it to get high?

[2115] Yeah.

[2116] That's not cool.

[2117] But meanwhile, the whippets fuck you up more than a glass of Jack Daniels?

[2118] Whippets are amazing.

[2119] They're like, I went through a face.

[2120] I was doing a lot of whiffets and oh god and it was uh you know I mean you have to you had to stop because it was just like this is I enjoy this doesn't it give you brain damage well everything gives your brain damage doesn't it I mean you lose like 200 or 20 ,000 brain cells a day just from you know waking up you know kind of walking around like so it's I mean I think it's you know it's like a thousand do you get new ones no you know I don't think you get new ones ever no fuck I think it's I think you're you have what you have Well, I think you get new ones if you do mushrooms.

[2121] It's the only way.

[2122] That makes sense, probably.

[2123] Really?

[2124] For real.

[2125] Yeah.

[2126] It's like one of the few things that have been shown to, like, regenerate neurons in the brain or something like that.

[2127] So just do as much mushrooms as you were doing nitrous and you'd be fine.

[2128] It's nice equilibrium.

[2129] You'd probably have to live in a mountain somewhere.

[2130] You probably get so detached from everybody.

[2131] Show yourself when you get in firewood and go back to your cabin.

[2132] I was doing a sketch, like a music video for, it was this country music song called, you know, it was about like blue laws and states.

[2133] Like, you know, and if they won't tell you alcohol, you know, the song is called What About Mouthwash?

[2134] And it was like, you know, all these different things like, what about mouthwash?

[2135] What about huff and paint and all these things that you could do?

[2136] And for the music video, it was like, oh, fuck it.

[2137] Well, just, you know, we're in the truck.

[2138] Got some paint in a spray paint in a bag and my friend had like mouthwash.

[2139] And so we're just like, did it for the shot.

[2140] And I just, you know, because the shot was on it, so I just sprayed the spray paint in the bag.

[2141] And I just huffed in and it's so fast.

[2142] It's so immediate and it's so high.

[2143] What does it do to you?

[2144] It's like, I did it and I was like, and then I like kind of broke take.

[2145] I was like, whoa.

[2146] Like, you know, I was like, this really works.

[2147] Like huffing paint is like the real deal.

[2148] Oh, that's so funny.

[2149] It's quick.

[2150] That's so funny.

[2151] Yeah.

[2152] Oh, have you ever talked to someone who works in an auto body shop, like spray painting cars?

[2153] No. You know, they wear those masks and shit, but it doesn't really work.

[2154] I mean, it works a little bit.

[2155] But if you're spray painting a car, you go into those booths, those guys get high as fuck.

[2156] That's like the hidden secret of auto body work.

[2157] It's such a dirty high, too.

[2158] I would imagine.

[2159] What is the paint high?

[2160] It doesn't feel like it's good for you.

[2161] It's not like you're drinking kale shakes.

[2162] No, you're like lightheaded and you're like, whoa, I'm high.

[2163] And you're like, this is going to feel bad when this wears off.

[2164] Oh, God.

[2165] That's so crazy.

[2166] Wow.

[2167] Everybody's seen those images of the guy who got arrested several times and he has paint like a fucking goatee of silver paint all over his face fuck man it's so weird you ever see that I forget what show it was it was one of those I don't know if there's a rehab show or something intervention show where the grows addicted to duster the dust stuff that you spray on your keyboard your keyboard the air what does that do you it gets your high I don't know I've never done it But, like, she was going through, like, she just, and they would follow her to Walmart, and she'd go to Walmart and just fill up her cart with Duster.

[2168] And, like, she does this every day.

[2169] It just goes to and just does Duster all day.

[2170] You know, the problem with that show is I have been, I've been exposed too much to how television works.

[2171] And I just, part of me is calling bullshit.

[2172] Part of me saying, like, yeah, this person's so together that they've contacted the producers of this show.

[2173] They're on the show.

[2174] They're walking around.

[2175] The camera's following them.

[2176] really you're sure or are you sure they're not engineering this whole thing but do they call or do their families call that's a good question i just don't get why i mean like if i had a loved one who was like um you know like i had a problem you know and it was like i got to do an intervention like the last thing i would think of it is like and i got to get a tv show to watch this thing like you know you say that but i mean what the fuck did dr drew do for all those years when he's doing celebrity rehab he took these people at their most vulnerable time and publicly shamed them showed them on television, having the DTs, freaking out of each other, screaming at each other, incredibly vulnerable, and exposed them to the world for other people's amusement.

[2177] And he's a doctor, an addiction specialist.

[2178] So, I don't think is that cutting dry.

[2179] When TV's involved and profits involved, people have weird ways of rationalizing things.

[2180] This is the only way these people will get help is if you do it on TV.

[2181] No, but I mean, like the family, I mean, do you think the family?

[2182] I guess they have to get paid something to do it.

[2183] They have to get paid something, yeah.

[2184] But it's not like a windfall.

[2185] The family might be morons, you know.

[2186] They might think it's the way to do it.

[2187] Well, it's very, I mean, there was a show that I was obsessed with for a long time called I didn't know I was pregnant.

[2188] Have you ever seen that show?

[2189] Have you seen it?

[2190] No. It's fucking amazing.

[2191] Find it on, like, iTunes or whatever.

[2192] But it's a show where they would, it's about people who just didn't realize that they were pregnant and then they have their babies in the toilet or, you know, or just walking to work or something.

[2193] And they would reenact it.

[2194] Like, it was kind of like Unsolved Mystery style where they'd, interview the real people and then they'd have actors like playing it out like oh my stomach hurts i'm gonna go take a shit and then the baby they put they throw the crazy thing about the show is that i watched one episode where they had the mom get up you know and then the camera goes into the toilet and they put a real baby in a toilet like a real like for the shot what the fuck water yeah they put a baby in the toilet bowl for the shot and i was like oh my god did they have a diaper on or was it naked uh there was the angle you couldn't see i don't know i'm just kids holding on the seat going what the fuck mom but uh but i but i I knew a girl who worked on the show, and I was, and I found out she worked on it, I was like, how do you, why do people, you know, agree to do, because they all look like idiots.

[2195] There's no way you can be on that show and not look like one of the dumbest people on, you know, if you didn't know, you were pregnant.

[2196] So it's like, why do they agree to let you do this episode about him?

[2197] And she was like, we are getting calls all day from people wanting to be on the show.

[2198] Like, we have to, you know, we're batting them off because it's people seeing the idea of some.

[2199] somebody playing them on television is so enticing to people that the fact that someone is going to reenact their life is like worth it.

[2200] Yeah, I'll be a, I'll look like an idiot on television.

[2201] God, that's so crazy.

[2202] That's the pull.

[2203] Having someone play you.

[2204] Wow.

[2205] That's amazing.

[2206] There was a girl that worked at the bank that I used to go to when I was a kid and she had her baby and threw it in the garbage and went back to work.

[2207] She worked at a bank.

[2208] No one who was pregnant.

[2209] She was overweight, went to the bathroom, had the baby, threw in the garbage, and went back to work, and then they figured out what the fuck happened and arrested her.

[2210] That's crazy.

[2211] Oh, it was so crazy.

[2212] It was like, I had seen her eye to eye, person to person.

[2213] I probably shook hands with her.

[2214] I mean, I don't remember.

[2215] Like on the day?

[2216] 17.

[2217] No, not on the day, I don't think.

[2218] I think I found out about it, like, you know, after the fact, but it was like the talk of the town.

[2219] Yeah.

[2220] I was like, I don't even remember her name, but, you know, I was like, I think I was probably 16 or so.

[2221] I was working at Newport Creamery, which was a ice.

[2222] cream and uh hamburger joint in newton massachusetts so it's probably i think i got that job when i was 16 so it's probably when i was 16 did all this happen but it was just the whole town was talking about i was like what she had a baby she was pregnant what and the she put in the garbage like it was great and she went to jail and the whole thing was really creep people it's creeps you out when you find out that that insanity like that was there the whole time and you were interacting with insanity like hello insane person hi crazy you're about to have a baby and throw it in the trash aren't you yeah you know like if you talk to her the week before you gonna throw your baby in the trash you tell what's gonna happen yeah what who are you how do you know she might not have even known she was pregnant too she might have been one of those people oh a lot of the people who um most of the people on the show who didn't know they're pregnant are overweight of course yeah yeah just they must be in such discomfort all the time yeah oh fuck man I just I just don't understand how that can you yeah how can you there's like there's like there's Certain levels of madness, it's like there's a scale, you know, like you could be like a little crazy, well, I got this thing, I have to wear different color socks, you know, I have this thing, you know, I only wear my underwear backwards.

[2223] You know, I have this thing.

[2224] I like to be a mascot.

[2225] I like to fuck other mascots and we get together.

[2226] Like you can always get further and further down the crazy hole.

[2227] I have this thing, I don't think I'm pregnant, but if I ever am, I'm definitely throwing it in a dumpster.

[2228] Well, there was a bumper sticker once I saw on a car, like a cop car, that was like telling people they didn't have to throw their baby away and they could bring their baby to a fire department and drop the baby off or a police station.

[2229] I was like, wait a minute, wait.

[2230] Who the fuck is like, I'm on my way to the dumpster with my baby?

[2231] Oh, look at that bumper sticker.

[2232] Oh, I could just go to a fire department?

[2233] I have options.

[2234] Look at that.

[2235] What a great service the public is offering.

[2236] I've seen fire department things with a baby drop.

[2237] like like window i mean it's not like a not like a blockbuster you know but i mean it's like you know it just says i've seen the sign it says like this is where you can leave an unwanted baby so it must happen frequently enough that it's in regular thing that like people are like you know you know okay fire departments are places that we can we can do this that's i just it's more evidence that we there's groups of people when you get to like when you have a city you know you have a million people or five million people or ten million people or whatever it is that when you get groups of people that aren't really interacting with their neighbors don't really have real communities they're not in real tribes they're just sort of independent and wandering around there's like madness all around us then which is like unrecognized unchecked madness ignored madness you know it's all around us we just don't you know you don't have you don't deal with it like if we there's only 50 of us we lived in the jungle together you would know that bitch is pregnant?

[2238] Damn.

[2239] Yeah.

[2240] You know?

[2241] First of all, she wouldn't be fat, because she would have to, like, gather food and everyone's thin.

[2242] It's a law.

[2243] It's a law?

[2244] How to drop off an unwanted baby with easy pictures.

[2245] What?

[2246] Safe Haven Law.

[2247] Safe Haven Law.

[2248] You must drop them off at a police department, fire station, or any hospital.

[2249] If a parent were to change their mind, they have 30 days after dropping off their infant to get their baby back from the state.

[2250] You have 30 days.

[2251] That makes me so sad.

[2252] That's Imagine, like, on the 29th day, the 24th hour, you'd come in.

[2253] I just want my baby back.

[2254] Sorry, you just missed the cutoff.

[2255] Yeah.

[2256] It's just, uh, it's 30 days right now.

[2257] Like, tick, like, tick, hold on, I got the baby.

[2258] You shouldn't give the baby back after one day.

[2259] Like, you know, if you went through the idea, if you're like, you know what, maybe I'm going to drop this baby off at the fire department.

[2260] So depressing.

[2261] You probably should drop the baby off at the fire department.

[2262] So depressing.

[2263] It's so depressing.

[2264] Imagine being that poor fucking kid.

[2265] and you find out that your mom drop you up at the fire department?

[2266] It's probably better.

[2267] Maybe, yeah.

[2268] Who knows?

[2269] But then the fucked up thing is that all the babies have to become firefighters.

[2270] It's part of a...

[2271] That's where firefighters come from.

[2272] They've all been dropped.

[2273] I think they come from storks.

[2274] I could be wrong.

[2275] I think all firefighters are dropped off babies that grow up.

[2276] Fuck, man. You have to live in the firehouse.

[2277] Where's my toys?

[2278] I don't want an axe.

[2279] You got the cool pole.

[2280] You got the Dalmatian.

[2281] It's pretty good.

[2282] It's great if you're a stripper.

[2283] Early training.

[2284] Fuck, man. God damn.

[2285] What a weird world we live in, huh?

[2286] There's too many of us.

[2287] That's the only...

[2288] Or too many of us...

[2289] I shouldn't say too many of us because the cool thing about cities, the cool thing about large urban centers is you get a high concentration of intelligence, too.

[2290] High concentration of cool people.

[2291] High concentration of, like, things happening and things moving and progress.

[2292] But there's too many of us that aren't in contact with each other, you know?

[2293] Yeah.

[2294] Well, it's a weird.

[2295] Didn't, like, the population of the entire world stays somewhere around one billion for as long as we can, like, kind of, for a long time?

[2296] Like, you know, hundreds, hundreds, maybe thousands of years.

[2297] And then, like, once we invented, basically, once we figured out how to use fossil fuels.

[2298] Yeah.

[2299] And, like, plastics and things.

[2300] It kind of, it shot up to, like, $7 billion within, like, 100 years.

[2301] Like, you have more of a chance.

[2302] I mean, there's more people now than there's ever been by, like, a huge long shot.

[2303] Huge.

[2304] Yeah, there was a thing that was listening to the other day that was talking about the population of the United States during World War II.

[2305] And it was the 1940s, it was 150 million people or less.

[2306] Really?

[2307] Yeah.

[2308] Now it's more than 300.

[2309] It's like 350.

[2310] Is it?

[2311] That's fucking crazy.

[2312] And then the world population is much larger than that.

[2313] The world population was at the time, I think, only like 2 billion, and now it's at 7.

[2314] Yeah.

[2315] Which is, like, stunning.

[2316] Yeah.

[2317] Just astronomical increase in human beings.

[2318] Well, is that, like, $1 billion around, like, 1900 or something?

[2319] So it's like, yeah.

[2320] The whole world.

[2321] Yeah.

[2322] And so it's, like, doubled.

[2323] It doubled in, like, 40 years, and now it's crazy.

[2324] Yeah.

[2325] A lot of people.

[2326] And that's what makes you wonder.

[2327] But that's the other thing about the points to urbanization and to improvement of the quality of life is that apparently when the quality of life improves and there's more resources, people have less kids.

[2328] And also when the quality of life improves and resources improve, the people, how does it go?

[2329] The people have less kids because their careers become more important.

[2330] And they become more concerned with progress and with their career than they do with having a family.

[2331] So they have families later and later.

[2332] It's one of the things they also attribute to the high, the increase in autism.

[2333] I think there's a contributing factor apparently like several times, several fold is when you have children after a certain age.

[2334] For men, right?

[2335] Men and women.

[2336] Both of them.

[2337] Don't they think that it's linked to the male sign?

[2338] That too, but women as well.

[2339] Women, as they get older, like birth defects, the increase in birth defect issues.

[2340] They didn't think it was men at all for a while, but now they do.

[2341] You used to think it was just the age of the woman, but now they think it's the age of the men as well, the age of the sperm.

[2342] Because that's like going through the roof, too.

[2343] It's like something like one in 25 now or something like that?

[2344] Autism?

[2345] Yeah.

[2346] They also think that that's also because they didn't die.

[2347] Yeah, they didn't really know what was wrong with Billy, and now they've given it a name.

[2348] Oh, he's got autism or he's got, he's on the spectrum.

[2349] He's got a spectrum disorder He's got Asperger's and just fuck Whatever dude What a great way to end this podcast Started out on AIDS Ended up on autism Dropping off babies He's been at the hospital You're special dude It was this past Friday Yeah but it's available What's it called?

[2350] High in Church Did you ever get high in church Actually I went to like A Christian school and stuff So I was like I never actually got high in church There's a story about something that happened and my friend that I wrote the song about.

[2351] But, like, I've been high at, like, church basketball games and things like that.

[2352] It's always just, it's not, it's like Pan - You went to it?

[2353] You grew up Christian?

[2354] Yeah, my parents were Christian rock singers in the 80s.

[2355] What?

[2356] Yeah.

[2357] Like striker?

[2358] Striper?

[2359] No, they were, like, folk kind of folk, and then it became rock kind of thing.

[2360] But I grew up on a tour bus traveling around the country.

[2361] What?

[2362] Yeah.

[2363] Oh, my God.

[2364] That's amazing.

[2365] Yeah.

[2366] Holy shit.

[2367] So, yeah, went to a really, really conservative high school and, you know, stuff.

[2368] Wow.

[2369] Wow, that's weird.

[2370] How did you break free?

[2371] I don't know.

[2372] I think it's when something is around a lot, you know, you're kind of just, you know, as a kid growing up, you're kind of just like, okay, does everything have to be about, you know, church, that kind of thing.

[2373] Right.

[2374] So you just sort of, you know, so then like when I was in school, it was always me and like two or three of the other, quote unquote, bad kids that would be at the back of the class just like not taking things seriously and kind of making fun of everybody kind of thing.

[2375] It was just kind of like that, you know.

[2376] Praise God.

[2377] Praise God for people like you.

[2378] Yeah, but that often happens, right?

[2379] I mean, Kara Santa Maria, who's a friend of mine who's a, she's a beautiful, intelligent neuroscientist who grew up with a strict religious household.

[2380] Now she's a devout atheist and, you know, her parents don't like her.

[2381] Yeah.

[2382] Upset at her because she's an atheist and has metal on her face and lip -brain and shit.

[2383] But that's often times the case, right?

[2384] Your parents are pushing a certain direction.

[2385] And you rebound and go crazy.

[2386] Yeah, well, I mean, the other kids that I would hang out with were, like, other pastor's kids, you know?

[2387] There were the kids in the back that weren't, like, taking things seriously.

[2388] Yeah, they get tired of their parents, telling them what to do.

[2389] Yeah.

[2390] If you restrict your kids too much, it's like what I was saying about my daughter, the soccer shit.

[2391] Like, you don't make them do anything, man. Four, don't make them do things, you know?

[2392] You want your kid to not play piano?

[2393] Force them to play piano.

[2394] Fuck, yeah, right?

[2395] Yeah.

[2396] I mean, sometimes it works, but, God, the amount of, resentment that children have from really like overbearing parents when i was a kid i dated this girl that went to catholic school and her parents were like super strict catholics and she was the biggest hoe bag because of that because of that like that girl probably fucked everyone who asked her yeah like or everyone who wanted to take that daddy up until the time she was probably like 30 she's went on a rampage like there was like a long list of people that i knew that It was crazy at a certain point time when we were like by the time we were like 19 or 20 Like I dated her when I guess we were like 16 and by the time we were like 19 and 20 I knew like a dozen dudes that had fucked her It was just chaos She's just chaos just fucking everybody and she was really pretty too so like everybody wanted to fuck her Right, it was just like she was just all that suppression like her parents were so overbearing Yeah, just so constantly drilling Jesus into her head and the Catholic guilt And she just couldn't wait to just finger herself and just start sucking down.

[2397] Just run around and, you know, she would get so drunk that she would just throw up and pass out.

[2398] She was out of fucking control.

[2399] And a lot of it was just her parents.

[2400] They just wound that spring up so tight.

[2401] Shot to the fucking moon.

[2402] It's weird how that works, right?

[2403] Were your parents overbearing about it?

[2404] it um not I mean it wasn't no it was I mean it was strict but it was like also not strict in weird ways like you know they like I couldn't watch most stuff on television like what what was forbidden like Duke's a hazard no like like anything that had like more than one swear word like I couldn't watch like so I'd watch a Simpsons and then it'd be like they'd say damn something and I'd be like oh and my parents would be like I want more and it's off and then like oh god please don't let Bart Simpson say damn again No, damn was a swear word?

[2405] Yeah, damn is a swear word.

[2406] And then I wasn't allowed to watch R -rated movies.

[2407] And so still to this day, like, you know, there's all these great movies that, you know, came out in, like, the 90s that I just didn't really see.

[2408] Stripes?

[2409] Never seen stripes.

[2410] But, like, I remember, like, when I was in my early 20s, like, my girlfriend realized that I'd never seen any Terminators.

[2411] Like, she was like, you haven't seen any Terminators?

[2412] I'm like, nah, I just never, never saw any of them.

[2413] And she was like, you have to watch the Terminators like that.

[2414] So we watched all three of them like that.

[2415] Binge Terminator.

[2416] Yeah, watched all three Terminators.

[2417] She's like, what did you think?

[2418] I was like, I like the third one the best.

[2419] And she's like, you're crazy.

[2420] But I didn't have the nostalgia.

[2421] Right.

[2422] So I just watched them all at once.

[2423] I was like, no, I liked that they blew the world up at the end.

[2424] I thought that was cool.

[2425] She's like, no. And it was like, no, no. It's like the Lady Terminator.

[2426] She was cool.

[2427] And I was like, no, no, no. It's the second Terminator is the one.

[2428] The second is the one?

[2429] That's what she was saying.

[2430] I thought the first was the one.

[2431] No?

[2432] The first one has really shitty special effects.

[2433] Try to watch it today on Blu -ray.

[2434] And he'll go, what the fuck is that?

[2435] What am I looking?

[2436] That's not Arnold Schwarzenegger.

[2437] That thing's made in a silly putty.

[2438] God.

[2439] So are your parents, they're still around?

[2440] Yeah.

[2441] Are they still, like, super Jesus stout?

[2442] Yeah, they don't perform anymore, but they're like, you know, my mom's a teacher and my dad's a graphic designer.

[2443] Really?

[2444] Yeah.

[2445] Wow.

[2446] Yeah.

[2447] That's wild, man. So what do they think about, like, you and what you do?

[2448] They don't like it.

[2449] They, they, you know, my relationship is, is fine with them.

[2450] Did they ever sit you down, Trevor?

[2451] No, but they would.

[2452] Why, Trevor?

[2453] Yeah, well, yeah.

[2454] I mean, they don't like the material or the things that I talk about or, like, what my, you know, comedy is usually about.

[2455] But, you know, on the same, on the other side of that coin, they're happy that, you know, things are going well.

[2456] you know they're happy that you know that it's like a weird you know we kind of try not to talk about like the stuff like when the special came out um I was like you know I waited until pretty much the end to tell him like yeah it's called high in church um and uh they were gonna they were and they were talking about they were like oh we're excited for your special like you know we're going to go over and meet uh with some of our friends and we're going to watch it when it comes out and they're like is it something that we should watch I'm like no you probably shouldn't watch it I was like um I was like there's like there's like one song you can probably watch i'll send you it's called high in church oh that's so funny oh my god did they ever have a sit down with you like an intervention no no no i mean it was more of like just phone arguments kind of i did a song about the pope um called the pope wrap um and uh that like and i knew it was about to come out it was for my last album and um so uh i went home for christmas one year and i'd already shot the music video for it and i was like well i might as well i was like you know know what I'll do I'll just kind of I'll just kind of nip this in the bud like I'll kind of show this to him while I'm here I can answer any questions about it like you know so it's not like they see it it was a bad idea because like ruined Christmas it was a big like fight and so now I just I've learned from them like just just don't watch it what was their argument what they say to you well it's just like you know why would you oh you know what it is it's like I think a lot of like they think that it's a personal or they used to think that it was a personal affront to them and it's not you know like oh like you were rebelling against them specifically or mocking because because they were christian musicians that is and that it's and i could see them thinking that but it's like what i kind of had to explain is like you know what i a lot of my comedy comes uh is about religion um history and politics um but that's because that's where i grew up i grew up on like a civil war battlefield um in virginia like i'd go out with my grandfather and we would like you know find cannonballs with metal detectors and like you would dig them up and stuff like yeah it's just history was everywhere my my uncles were civil war reenactors you know like yeah it was like a big history was like a big thing what side were they reenacting both sides no they were confederates it's Virginia um so sounds gone do it again yeah yeah uh when they did that like what do they do they just put the outfits on and shit oh there'd be hundreds of people it would be like you know they reenact whole battles like um now when you say reenact they use like muskets with no balls yeah just flash powder oh they all walk across the field fucking hilarious and then all the women come and they dress up at the time they kind of cheer everybody on it's like wow yeah oh my god that must be awesome yeah well see i was born in new york and i came down uh and all of my family like lived in uh virginia and so like everyone like when i we when i was a kid everybody would play civil war and like all of my cousins had like civil war outfits and they and i had and i was the only yankee so they get my ass kicked all the time and i was always like you know like that's not how it happened this is not how the war like panned out like I you know that's hilarious you'd have to get your ass pick so they wanted the South to win all the wars oh well I mean I think do they ever allow like the South to lose because you're reenacting the war oh no no the reenactments are one thing I'm talking about when I was playing with my cousins like yeah no no they did it authentically to like how the battles would actually play out so but see it's very unorganized like it's people just running around and you're shooting and then I guess when you run out you like fake death and you like die and then you kind of lay on the ground for the rest of the battle.

[2457] What is the fucking motivation to do that?

[2458] I don't, have there any other, they don't reenact World War II.

[2459] No one storms the beach of Normandy again.

[2460] Well, we have both sides here and all the battlefields are here.

[2461] Oh, okay.

[2462] That makes sense.

[2463] You know, we can actually, yeah, you could do it on, you can go to Gettysburg.

[2464] It's a, you know, it's a couple hour drive for most people, you know.

[2465] My stepdad went, and he said it was really depressing.

[2466] He said, I've never felt sadness in a location before.

[2467] To Gettysburg.

[2468] Yeah.

[2469] Oh yeah.

[2470] I was there.

[2471] He goes, you could feel it.

[2472] Like, you feel the fact that all those people died there, if that makes any sense at all.

[2473] No, it's a dark place.

[2474] And he's not a woo -woo guy.

[2475] He's a pretty straightforward guy.

[2476] So when he told me that, I was like, wow, really?

[2477] You can feel it?

[2478] I'll bet Normandy is like that.

[2479] You go there.

[2480] I bet there's a heavy pall, you know.

[2481] I'd imagine there was somebody who did something on Normandy where they did they made like like sand images of all of the bodies like the thousand that represent the thousands of people that died on that beach and it was really creepy because you looked it was I think it's important like for people to understand the actual loss of life that you're dealing with yeah but when this guy did it was like an artist there it is wow that's um and those things that are there are those things first From the war that are still there?

[2482] Is that what that is?

[2483] Those black things, yeah.

[2484] Is that what those are?

[2485] I think they are.

[2486] I think that's what that is.

[2487] I'm not going to clean it up.

[2488] They're never going to clean it up.

[2489] But look at what that represents.

[2490] That's crazy.

[2491] Imagine being there and seeing all those fucking bodies in real time.

[2492] I mean, these people were showing up in boats, and as they're getting out of the boats, they're just getting shot at.

[2493] Yeah, I mean, it's like, that's the mind -blowing thing about or I guess big battles and wars I mean you go to like basic training you spend all this time like preparing and then you get dropped into something like that I mean how much of it is I mean it's like I guess it's why you hear all those whenever you know hear an interview with like a war veteran they're like you know I'm not a hero the real heroes are the people that you know die the day I mean it's just like it's just luck you know you're just like one of the people that got through and like you know I mean it's just that opening scene and saving private Ryan opening scene when everyone's getting blown up in front of them and Jesus fucking Christ that's real man that's the real war you know that was one of the things about that Brian Williams thing that I found particularly disturbing when Brian Williams got caught not telling the truth about his helicopter getting shot at what was interesting to me was not just that that this fucking news guy lied but that the pilot of the helicopter that he was on was telling his version of the story because they had interviewed him and he said, well, our helicopter did get hit with small arms fire and the helicopter in front of us was the one that got hit by the RPG and then we had to land and we had to drop off our load first and that's why we were an hour behind them but we were all in the same convoy.

[2494] So he's telling the story he's essentially like letting Brian Williams off the hook a little bit because he was saying like, well, we did get hit.

[2495] You know, we were being attacked.

[2496] There's no doubt about it.

[2497] And then a lot of people were like, well, why would he lie about that?

[2498] Because the lie doesn't make him look any better.

[2499] Like, you were in a war, you were getting attacked, you did have to land, you did take small arms fire, and you were stuck in a sandstorm for two days.

[2500] So that's a fine story.

[2501] It's a fucking crazy story.

[2502] Just the sandstorm, just watching another helicopter in front of you get hit with an RPG.

[2503] But then the guy said that he got calls from all these other people.

[2504] that were saying no you didn't have Brian Williams in your helicopter this guy did or that guy did and there was like more than one story emerging of different people saying that they had Brian Williams in his helicopter and then he said you know what I don't even want to I don't I might be wrong I don't even want to talk about this anymore because because I've been doing these interviews about this now all the nightmares are coming back he was like I tried to put this aside and it put in my mind it made me really think about getting over traumatic situations like that and how much how much of the truth of the you know we're talking about like 12 plus years ago how much of the truth do you retain in your memory and how much of it is just really really confusing and fucked up because it's just bullets and chaos and nightmares and dead bodies and who knows how many times that guy saw somebody die and then they're asking him to recall a very specific instance where one very specific unremarkable at the time news guy was with him Unremarkable at the time Because nothing happened Other than this news guy was there He probably took a bunch of different people Yeah Who knows?

[2505] He's not excited That Brian Williams is in his helicopter He didn't care The crazy thing is He's in war And he's getting shot at And he's got He's all PTSD'd out And so, you know, he said You know, respectfully I just don't want to talk about this anymore Just because of my memories Like it's really fucking me up And all these things that I tried to forget Now I'm being forced to remember them again And my memory might be fucked up.

[2506] I was like, wow, that is, that's something to consider that memories are not carved in stone.

[2507] They're just not.

[2508] And they change, I mean, there's, they're, they're almost hardly used in courts, you know, eyewitness of stuff.

[2509] Like, because it's like, it's, you change, you know, embellishment.

[2510] Like, you know, you always tell, I mean, I always like, you know, tell a story.

[2511] And then somebody, you know, from like 10 years ago.

[2512] And somebody would be like, that's not what happened.

[2513] It happened like this.

[2514] And then you're like, oh, yeah, you're right.

[2515] It did.

[2516] It's just kind of, it's changed and you see it a certain way.

[2517] Like, it can just, like, small things.

[2518] But you're like, oh, I guess that was this person.

[2519] In my mind, I remember it being this other person that was there.

[2520] But I guess that person wasn't there.

[2521] Like, you know, kind of thing.

[2522] And then you have to go, well, are you sure you got it right?

[2523] Right.

[2524] It's like.

[2525] Yeah.

[2526] I remember some things very clearly, very clearly because I kind of told the story more than once and the point.

[2527] in the story that were specific were very important but yeah there's some other stories that are just fucking loosely pieced together flashes in my brain like just images that I can kind of recall kind of and chain of events that I can kind of recall correctly yeah but people are just some people are married to the idea that they remember everything exactly how it happened nobody does I don't think it's it's the weird thing is like when you tell a story or like something's like something crazy happens in college and it's a story right out the game you know kind of thing and you're telling that story and you tell that story for years and years and years and then at a certain point you don't really remember the actual event anymore but you remember the story you've been telling the story forever like uh huh like you said someone would be remember when this happened you're like no but I do remember the story you know I remember it happened but I have no memory of it anymore really and then some people remember shit that you don't remember at all and they're like come on man you don't remember we did that thing together like I don't even know what the fuck you're talking about like is this guy crazy or do I just not have a memory of an actual event which one?

[2528] is this?

[2529] I'll tell you what I'm going to remember Trevor Moore this podcast.

[2530] Me too.

[2531] Smoking is good for your memory too.

[2532] Yes, I heard it.

[2533] I think we're out of time.

[2534] We're going to turn into a pumpkin any minute now.

[2535] I, Trevor Moore, I, the letter I, Trevor Moore, on Twitter website.

[2536] Trevormore .org.

[2537] Hi in church.

[2538] You can get it on Comedy Central Direct.

[2539] Is it one of those five buck jammies?

[2540] Yeah.

[2541] Nice.

[2542] Oh, nice is that.

[2543] Louis C .K. Set the fucking model.

[2544] Yeah.

[2545] And we all follow.

[2546] That's it.

[2547] Dude, thank you very much.

[2548] Let's do this again.

[2549] Thank you.

[2550] This was a blast.

[2551] Again, we will do it again.

[2552] All right.

[2553] And again.

[2554] Awesome.

[2555] And then we'll have false memories about the podcast we did.

[2556] All right, my friends.

[2557] See you soon.

[2558] Much love.