Jack McBrayer

[0] Hi, my name is Jack McBrayer, and I feel honored about being Conan O 'Brien's friend.

[1] Ring the bell, brand new shoes, walking blues, climb the fence, books and pens.

[2] I can tell that we are going to be friends.

[3] I can tell that we are going to be friends.

[4] Hello there.

[5] Welcome to Conan O 'Brien needs a friend, as always.

[6] Join my good pals.

[7] That's not a real sentence.

[8] I said, joined my, join my, I've got pals.

[9] This is Stroke Prevention Week.

[10] If you think you're having a stroke, immediately chew some aspirin and then operate on your own head with a knitting needle.

[11] I'm here with Matt Gourley.

[12] Hi.

[13] And I'm here with Sonom of Sessian.

[14] Now I can feel my face again.

[15] I want to mention someone who I believe we brought him into the conversation before, but he's one of the unsung heroes here, Eduardo.

[16] Eduardo, you do a wonderful job.

[17] Thank you, sir.

[18] As do you.

[19] Oh, you're on thin ice with me, Eduardo.

[20] Oh, my God.

[21] What is your exact title, Eduardo?

[22] Audio engineer for simple terms.

[23] Production audio engineer, whatever you want to call it.

[24] So Eduardo and I get along fine.

[25] He's very good at what he does, and he did a brilliant job setting up this new podcast studio that we have.

[26] And we are indebted to you, sir.

[27] But you and I have run afoul of one another.

[28] We have.

[29] Because I guess you're a music fan, and you started, in my opinion, aggressively choosing the music that would be playing even before we start recording.

[30] So I would come in and you made some strong choices early on.

[31] I played some, I think you called it aggressive jazz when I first.

[32] I came in here and it was scoodle -d -do -doo -d -d -d -d -jazz, you know.

[33] Scatting jazz kind of?

[34] Scut -d -d -l -d -d -d -d -d -d -d -ska -lily -da -da -da -dda -do.

[35] It was that kind of jazz.

[36] And you, I didn't know if you were running an after -hours club.

[37] You offered me a brandy.

[38] That's right.

[39] You said have a seat, Daddio.

[40] Sounds pretty good.

[41] I underestimated your level of coolness.

[42] Oh.

[43] Nice.

[44] Anywho, Eduardo, I came in and I said, what's with the music?

[45] And it's interesting.

[46] I think a lot of people in your position probably at that point would have killed all music.

[47] But no, you kept swinging for the fences.

[48] And every time I come in, there's new genres playing, new tunes.

[49] And today I came in, you had the killers blaring.

[50] That's right.

[51] Which should I admit that you thought it was Maroon 5?

[52] Okay.

[53] Not to, not to, you know, throw you out of the bus, but...

[54] You did, though, and I appreciate it.

[55] But I did say, I mean, I didn't have any idea who it was.

[56] Right.

[57] But I just said, hey, what's, you know, it's Canada with the Maroon 5.

[58] I wasn't trying to actually identify them as Maroon 5.

[59] But it's just all music in general.

[60] I'm not ready to hear music when I come in here.

[61] I think that might be it.

[62] I might...

[63] What do you think, Fiona?

[64] To be honest, I'm enraged right now, and I'm going to tell you why.

[65] It's because earlier, you guys were having an exchange, and Eduardo was telling you how to position your mic and you're like, thank you, Eduardo.

[66] And then that was it.

[67] And then there was no bit afterwards.

[68] And then now the only gripe you have with him is music.

[69] You told people I was a vampire for like the first two years that I knew you.

[70] I honestly thought you were.

[71] And that wasn't me doing a, I honestly thought that you drank the blood of the living, that you slept mostly during the day, that you had to be covered in the native soil of Armenia.

[72] Okay.

[73] Before, uh, these were things I thought were true.

[74] Well, we've moved on from that.

[75] But my thing is your whole thing now with Eduardo, is it just he plays music you don't like?

[76] I'm enraged.

[77] I'm so angry.

[78] Well, first of all, Eduardo is very accomplished at what he does.

[79] Yes.

[80] And does a very good job.

[81] You famously, and you've written a book about how you're terrible what you do.

[82] I think it's called World's Worst Assistant.

[83] That was your title, not mine, by Sonoma Sessian.

[84] I appreciate the plug.

[85] But this, you need a better, you need to shit on Eduardo.

[86] Yeah, I think it's time.

[87] I'm upset.

[88] No, no, first of all of us.

[89] You shit on Adam.

[90] him, you shit on Blay, you shit on Matt.

[91] I'm just going to be really honest with you.

[92] Eduardo is very knowledgeable.

[93] He's very skilled.

[94] He's a good -looking fella.

[95] I come in here.

[96] He's just killing it day in, day out.

[97] And so other than him playing music loudly whenever I come into the studio, which, you know, isn't my favorite thing, I have no gripe with Eduardo.

[98] Edwardo is, we're lucky to have him.

[99] But you don't need gripes.

[100] But you don't need gripes.

[101] You don't need gripes.

[102] You know, make fun of his tweed.

[103] And you make fun of Adam with his Rolls -Royce.

[104] And you just make fun of Blay, just in general.

[105] I mean, Matt Gourley is a legitimately comical character.

[106] You know, he comes in here.

[107] You are.

[108] You have your stuff that you just bought on eBay.

[109] It's just doubling down.

[110] We're in a great shirt.

[111] You got on Etsy.

[112] You're just a...

[113] Haynes T -shirt.

[114] Right, right.

[115] You dressed defensively now because the first couple of times you showed up.

[116] When I first met him, he was wearing a show.

[117] Tomahom's deer stalker cap that he got on Etsy.

[118] Why are you laughing?

[119] It's true.

[120] Why are you laughing, flag?

[121] Do you want to do this?

[122] He smokes a kooky pipe.

[123] He's turning us against each other.

[124] Do you see that?

[125] No, but you see that?

[126] But anyway, aren't you?

[127] I agree.

[128] There's nothing mean about Eduardo.

[129] Eduardo is just, what are you going to say?

[130] Back me up on this.

[131] You shut up, you motherfucker.

[132] Oh, my God.

[133] You know what I love?

[134] You just read that.

[135] swear off a little card you wrote because you've been practicing that to seem less gourlyish so hard no you mither fackard wait i got it wrong you stupid scrooge you're a big fuss with dick straight on weirdo he just can't do it it's weird it's weird it's coming off a little you can't do it i'm getting strong sibling energy from soda right as somebody who has two older sisters And I have one specifically who would always tell my mom or dad, hey, why are you yelling at me?

[136] Yes.

[137] Yell at him.

[138] Same.

[139] But see, anyone listening right now is like, man, I could listen to Edwardo all day.

[140] You know, and we've done studies that show that, when you start talking, people turn the radio way down.

[141] Oh, okay.

[142] It's not true.

[143] The radio.

[144] When people listen to this and they gather around the Philco.

[145] And they've come in and they're wearing their bib overalls.

[146] Okay, Granddad.

[147] It's time to start the show.

[148] And it's time.

[149] listen to the corner of Brian podcast hour.

[150] It's time to take you little paper cup of pills and start the show.

[151] There's nothing to fear but fear itself.

[152] Okay.

[153] And now this program brought you by corn carb cookies.

[154] Drink your geratol.

[155] Now made with real corn carb.

[156] Let's go.

[157] So angry.

[158] All right.

[159] Well, anyway, you're the best, Eduardo.

[160] And this sounds beautiful because of you.

[161] Thank you.

[162] Nicely done.

[163] You don't even listen.

[164] I can't listen to this crap.

[165] I got things to do.

[166] This is absolute shit.

[167] My guest today, right from Corn Cobb into this, my guest today, played Kenneth the Page on the NBC series 30 Rock.

[168] He's also appeared in countless sketches on my show over the years.

[169] He sure has.

[170] He played some kind of farmer in everyone.

[171] Now you can see him in the Apple TV Plus series, Hello Jack, the Kindness Show.

[172] I am very excited to chat with my old buddy today.

[173] Jack McBare, welcome.

[174] You and I have a very odd relationship.

[175] And I want to clue the listeners in.

[176] I want to say I met you in, was it 95, 96?

[177] 2002.

[178] You're way off.

[179] Who am I thinking of?

[180] Who am I thinking of?

[181] You're looking at me. I didn't know you then.

[182] I thought I knew you a lot longer than that.

[183] No, a bunch of the Chicago writers had come to your late -night show back in the 90s, but I'd never even been to New York until 2002.

[184] You first arrived in New York City in 2002.

[185] Yeah.

[186] Okay.

[187] I didn't do any research for this.

[188] No, no, he did.

[189] You are, which guy is he?

[190] That's Jack McBrayer.

[191] Oh, Jack McBrayer.

[192] Jack.

[193] I just said it.

[194] A lot of people say they're Jack McBreer.

[195] Who?

[196] This guy, Jack McBrear.

[197] Tushay.

[198] I've known you since, let's say, 2002.

[199] You come to New York.

[200] That's still a long time.

[201] Not as long as I thought I knew you.

[202] I really thought I knew you since 95, but that's clearly someone else I'm thinking of.

[203] But that's a long time.

[204] And I don't think, and I'm being honest here, that you and I have ever had a long, real conversation.

[205] Oh, you might be right.

[206] Yeah.

[207] Now, what do you think the problem is?

[208] You.

[209] Yeah, it's not him.

[210] Mm -hmm.

[211] 100%.

[212] Well, hold on.

[213] Let's get to something straight.

[214] First of all, I'll describe what I do, which is, um, hold on.

[215] Let me just, let me get to this particular type of abuse because it's important to be clear.

[216] Jack, I always, we go into, I go into Schick where you are the country Roob, and I am the cruel city slicker.

[217] And we've been doing this since I met you.

[218] You've been to my house many times, yes?

[219] Invited.

[220] Yeah, I know.

[221] I know.

[222] And we've spent hours and hours together.

[223] I'm never real.

[224] And part of the problem, and I just want to say this to Matt and Sona, is that he is so good at playing his part.

[225] Yes.

[226] You always go into, sir, I did.

[227] Well, please, sir, you are wrong, sir.

[228] And that keeps me going.

[229] You have to admit that you.

[230] That's victim blaming.

[231] Yes.

[232] Yeah.

[233] Yeah.

[234] That is victim blaming.

[235] Oh, that's your contribution to that argument.

[236] That is victim blaming.

[237] I don't know what law school.

[238] You went to repeat with emphasis law.

[239] I have to tell you.

[240] Excuse me?

[241] They said, ugh.

[242] Thank you.

[243] And I agree.

[244] He repeated with emphasis.

[245] There you go.

[246] So we've known each other a long time, and this is the kind of stuff that we do.

[247] It's fine.

[248] And I ran into mutual friend, Mr. John Hamm, just the other day.

[249] And what did we talk about?

[250] Yes, about the time you came backstage at one of my shows.

[251] And I had a guitar on, strapped on, and I was doing my way, way, way, it's Jack McPray, schick.

[252] And you were saying, sir, please, sir, no, sir.

[253] And then I started to play dueling banjos theme.

[254] Did it ding, dune, dune, dune on the guitar.

[255] And you started to clog dance against your will.

[256] And Jack, and we were, what's that?

[257] John Ham.

[258] Yeah, John Hamm was chuckling about that memory.

[259] I remember that because it showed up in a documentary, a critic acting is for the New York Times saying, this is terrible.

[260] Conan, his cruel side came out, and he forced Jack to dance.

[261] finally, as if you have no control over what you do when someone plays dueling banjos.

[262] But that has been our dynamic, yes?

[263] I don't know.

[264] I did feel bullied there.

[265] Oh, here it is.

[266] But listen, I don't.

[267] Nice.

[268] I am here to have a, I'm here to try and have a real conversation with you get to the real Jack McBere, not any of our old shenanigans where I role play.

[269] So let's go through.

[270] I do have research on the real you.

[271] You, that's true, I do.

[272] You were born in corn cob, Georgia.

[273] Okay.

[274] Thank you for having me. This was a lot of fun.

[275] Your father is a tractor.

[276] My father's a tractor.

[277] Like an inanimate tractor.

[278] Your mother is a corn silo.

[279] None of this.

[280] When you first came to the big city, it was on that bus.

[281] That bus?

[282] And you had a cardboard suitcase.

[283] When you disembarked in New York, did you or did you not step off the bus and go, garsh?

[284] They sure made these buildings real tall.

[285] Where did you research this?

[286] You called an elevator a moving room for six years.

[287] They changed all the furniture around between the time I got on and I got off.

[288] It's completely different.

[289] Is this true?

[290] None of this is true.

[291] Cardboard suitcase, that's a box.

[292] I think I have the facts on my side.

[293] You refused to go on 30 Rock for a while because you were afraid those cameras would capture your spirit.

[294] True or false?

[295] Way false.

[296] Extremely false.

[297] You said to Tina Feyn, this is a quote, I'm going to want my spirit back.

[298] No, no. The opposite.

[299] No. No. The car that you drove here in is made of husks that were woven together.

[300] True or false?

[301] Very false.

[302] There's not a corn cob car.

[303] Hey, I'm just going to make a sort of symbolic button.

[304] And if any time you press that, you can tag out and I'll just go to town.

[305] Oh, yeah, yeah.

[306] Oh, I'm real scared.

[307] Yeah.

[308] I'm just going to get brutal.

[309] So that's just there if you need it.

[310] If at any point the baby lamb gets scared of the tiger, he's going to tap out.

[311] And the wounded black cap chicken.

[312] is going to leave its nest and come after me. Anyway, this is the nonsense that we engage in.

[313] And I want to...

[314] No, that's not it.

[315] It's not the word I was looking for.

[316] Oh, I want to congratulate you on being such a good improv partner with me all these years.

[317] You know what?

[318] I do have to comment on that.

[319] On paper, this is not good improv.

[320] And I'll tell you why.

[321] Because you deny everything.

[322] I say no to every single thing.

[323] I ask questions.

[324] If you transcribe to my conversations, that's bad improv.

[325] You know, what's really funny is that all of the quote, improv we do is me laying out ridiculous details, you know.

[326] And you are trained.

[327] You are second city trained as an improviser.

[328] You are an excellent improviser.

[329] Very funny guy, very talented.

[330] But you break all the improv rules with me, which is everything I say, you say, no, sir.

[331] No, sir, that is not true, sir.

[332] My mother is not a tractor, sir.

[333] And then I...

[334] I repeat with emphasis.

[335] Yeah, yeah.

[336] And then I keep going and you say, well, I don't like this at all.

[337] You deny all the information on that, which is the worst thing you can do in improv, but when you do it, it's so funny.

[338] And I remember, I've talked about this before with you many times, but you did 60, I didn't realize, with so many 60 different bits for me on late night.

[339] Wow.

[340] Long before you got 30 Rock, you would come on the show and you would do bits on late night for us.

[341] And you were always hilarious, usually playing a certain part, let's say.

[342] Well, no, honestly, you were usually the kid in overalls who said garsh, you know, but it's okay.

[343] Or you had a milk pale or whatever.

[344] You were looking for your blueberries.

[345] But it's true.

[346] That's what we used to cast you in because that's kind of what you play.

[347] And not that you're limited to that, but that's.

[348] what your abilities will let you play and so wait you are that means you're limited yeah okay well what note was that what do you um but I used to do my thing you'd come through the doors and I'd be like way well Jack and this was at rehearsal and you would say sir please sir no sir sir I do not like what you were saying sir I do not smell like hay I do not smell like him Sam I am I do not like his green eggs and ham and then the crew once came and talk to me and said You know, you were real tough on Jack.

[349] I said, what?

[350] Do you really, they said, Jake, you're nice to everybody, but when Jack comes by, you start smelling the air and saying that you detect the slight aroma of wet manure.

[351] Wet manure.

[352] Hey, hey, you always ask where my mule is, where I park it.

[353] And I'd always doing this over -the -top voice like, nah, we, we, we, if it isn't Jack McPray.

[354] And the crew really thought that I had suddenly, this over the top city slicker and that you were indignant that i thought you had a mule i have to admit it made me laugh that made me laugh more than anybody but here's what was funniest to me is you know there was a job to be done and so you'd walk in and i know you'd like catch me in the uh periphery that i was there and so you wouldn't even look at me you just start going yes as like writers were coming up to you like asking for notes and stuff you would like hold production to mock me now you have to admit my Commitment to the bit is extraordinary.

[355] I mean, yeah.

[356] You've ruined relationships with people.

[357] No, I actually was thinking about it today.

[358] God forbid something happened to you or something happened to me. One of us would go to the others memorial and people would say, what did this person mean?

[359] You would go like, I never talk to him.

[360] All I did was berate him as a city slicker from a cartoon and all he did was defend himself as like an animated corncob who was standing up for his rights.

[361] But seriously, we both live in a cartoon reality a little bit.

[362] That's true.

[363] And that's okay.

[364] I don't think it is.

[365] Let's talk about the real you because I do want to get to know you after, God knows, 20 years of me behaving like an ass and you enabling it by not sticking up for yourself.

[366] So, again, your fault, victim blaming.

[367] Oh, surviving.

[368] Born and raised in Conyers, Georgia.

[369] Born in Macon, Georgia, which is right in the middle of Georgia, when I was 15, I moved to Conyers, Georgia.

[370] Okay.

[371] And Conyers, I've been to Macon.

[372] I bought a bumper sticker that said, I'm making it and Macon.

[373] Oh, okay.

[374] I did.

[375] I did.

[376] I'm very proud of myself.

[377] I did go to, I did go to Macon, Georgia.

[378] I'm guessing Conyers is smaller.

[379] and not as bustling as making.

[380] That is correct.

[381] Okay.

[382] That is correct.

[383] Okay.

[384] But it's closer to Atlanta.

[385] Okay.

[386] Let me take you through this.

[387] This is going to be a painless procedure where we get to know each other and then we'll get back to our schick.

[388] Yeah.

[389] You were interested in comedy always?

[390] I was interested in it, but I didn't know anything about performing it because, you know, in Georgia, there was no frame of reference for it.

[391] So there was no, you know, there was no doing improv with the local kids or anything like that.

[392] There was just...

[393] No, I would do like, you know, bits with my friends and stuff, but I'm a very unofficial capacity.

[394] So when did you know that you were in high school, are you in plays?

[395] Yes.

[396] So in Conyers, so 15, 16, 17, I would do the plays in high school.

[397] And I was often the comic relief, which was super fun.

[398] I guess I got bit by the bug then.

[399] But when it was time to go to college, I was like, well, I don't know if I can make a career out of this because I never knew anybody who could make a career out of it.

[400] So when I went off to college in Indiana, I just studied a program so I could be part of the theater department, but I was getting some business courses and all that kind of stuff.

[401] It was a BS in theater.

[402] Do you know how to manage a theater?

[403] I do.

[404] I don't want to.

[405] You kind of have to now, don't you think?

[406] Well, no, that's not how this works.

[407] What do you mean?

[408] No, just whatever you study doesn't like set your path for life.

[409] Eventually, yeah.

[410] No. You've had your success.

[411] Now it's time to go manage a theater.

[412] I don't think that's not right.

[413] That doesn't even make sense.

[414] You've had a good run.

[415] You've had a lot of success.

[416] History and literature of American South.

[417] You know, I studied South.

[418] Dig up bones or whatever that means.

[419] Bones, I read Faulkner and Flannery O 'Connor.

[420] I studied the modernists.

[421] I think I didn't dig up bones.

[422] I don't know.

[423] Well, stop yelling at me and go do more of that.

[424] That was not yelling.

[425] That was me speaking in a normal tone of voice with a slight edge to it because you're enraging me. Okay.

[426] I would like to leave.

[427] And you have to honor that.

[428] This is false imprisonment.

[429] I just want to point out to the listener that while we've been talking, Jack has been buttering the microphone to chomp it like an ear of corn.

[430] True or false?

[431] Very false.

[432] Okay.

[433] I'm just saying.

[434] Also, there are cameras.

[435] There's video evidence that I did not do that.

[436] He forgot on microphones.

[437] He forgot that for kids.

[438] Butter a microphone.

[439] Because you wanted to take a good old chomp out of it, that's why.

[440] I have a sip of my tea.

[441] That's not tea.

[442] By the way, I'm going to get a plug out for your favorite drink.

[443] And everyone who knows Jack knows that his favorite drink is Mountain Dew.

[444] And it is a, I'm going to say it's a radioactive yellow.

[445] Doesn't that look like something in a fusion reactor?

[446] Yes, exactly.

[447] That is a, and that is the drink that you must have.

[448] Is that true?

[449] I mean, I must have it.

[450] Well, 10, your rider, we have been told at times when we have done work together that you would like Mountain Dew there.

[451] Okay.

[452] True or false?

[453] See, I don't like this grilling.

[454] But here's the thing.

[455] I don't drink coffee.

[456] And so I need caffeine.

[457] Yeah.

[458] And so Mountain Dew.

[459] Best way to get it is through this radioactive yellow drink.

[460] Okay, look, Mountain Dew, nature, this is good.

[461] It's all natural.

[462] Oh, man. It looks like the Hulk's urine, doesn't it?

[463] Again, natural.

[464] Bombarded with gamma rays.

[465] We're never going to get a sponsorship from them.

[466] No, I don't think so.

[467] Okay, now you worked for a factory in a time.

[468] I did.

[469] What factory was it?

[470] It was called CAFCO pool manufacturing.

[471] And what we did is we took the vinyl swimming pool liners that go in the bottom of your swimming pool.

[472] And, you know, there's a big, sheets of plastic that we would then weld together with this.

[473] Okay, that sounds like a tough job.

[474] It was not easy or fun.

[475] And there's probably a lot of fumes and stuff, right?

[476] Yeah.

[477] I mean, God knows what happened to you there.

[478] You're working in an enclosed space with this strange chemicals.

[479] Okay.

[480] Yeah.

[481] It was fine.

[482] It was big and open, like, you know, those big garage doors that were open.

[483] So we got ventilation.

[484] It was real hot.

[485] It was summertime in Georgia.

[486] Yes.

[487] And so un -air condition.

[488] But yeah, probably not the best.

[489] Because I've seen footage of you before you worked for the fact.

[490] You did not have a Southern accent.

[491] No, he did.

[492] He sounded like Winston Churchill.

[493] What happened to you just talking to him like you said, like normally?

[494] You're right.

[495] I've got to get back to that.

[496] So you worked in this factory, a lot of fumes.

[497] We don't know what happened to you, but...

[498] I'm fine.

[499] And then you also worked at an Applebee's, right?

[500] I did.

[501] And in between there, it was a Poe folks.

[502] What's a Poe folks?

[503] It's a restaurant.

[504] It's home style cooking.

[505] It just means fried food.

[506] It was real good, you know.

[507] Was it poe after poor boy, like poe boy or poe after poor?

[508] I think it was poe after poor.

[509] But that does beg the question, poe boy would probably be poor, right?

[510] Yeah.

[511] So, yeah, I think it's the same thing.

[512] But yeah, so I went from factory to restaurant to showbiz.

[513] Well, let's get to the part that I think most people are going to be interested in.

[514] I don't know my listeners that well, but I'm assuming they want to.

[515] to hear more about you pressing pieces of vinyl together in an enclosed space.

[516] I mean, it was a factory job.

[517] Yeah.

[518] I was 18.

[519] It's an honest living.

[520] It was.

[521] You go on, you get your education, learn your letters and such, then you go, excuse me. Excuse me. Excuse him.

[522] No, excuse you.

[523] Well, thank you.

[524] Did you, that's not an insulting to say you learned your letters, is it?

[525] At age 18?

[526] I don't, I'm proud of you for taking, having the courage to realize you had a limitation and you passed through it.

[527] This is the second time you've mentioned limitations with me. I'm getting tired of it.

[528] There you go.

[529] Yes.

[530] Sorry.

[531] You go to Second City and there you meet, you hit the sweet spot because tell me who's there when you're there.

[532] Okay.

[533] So the first show I saw at Second City, I moved there in the summer of 95.

[534] I'd just graduated college.

[535] I didn't know what I wanted to do, but I knew I wanted to go to a big city that wasn't necessarily Atlanta.

[536] You know, I just wanted to see more of the country, more of the world.

[537] I moved to Chicago.

[538] So the summer of 95, there's this crazy heat wave in Chicago.

[539] It killed people.

[540] Like, 800 people died on Chicago that year.

[541] So here I am with my cardboard suitcase.

[542] No one to blame but yourself now.

[543] Gosh.

[544] No. That trains up in the sky.

[545] The elevator.

[546] A train in Chicago.

[547] No, I get it.

[548] But, so that was my first, you know, taste of life in the big city.

[549] And it was so hot.

[550] One of my roommates was saying, like, hey, you know what?

[551] There's a comedy theater downtown.

[552] They do free improv after their show, cheap beer, and it's air condition.

[553] I was like, sold.

[554] So I went to Second City for one of their free improv sets.

[555] And I'll never forget it.

[556] That was like my, bing, my.

[557] A -ha moment.

[558] Exactly, exactly.

[559] So it would have been, I think, Adam McKay, John Glazer, Kevin Dorff, Rachel Dratch, Jenna Jolovitz, and I think Scott Allman were on stage then.

[560] And so that's when I just fell in love.

[561] And it really was one of those things where I was like, this is what I do with my friends, just like hanging out.

[562] They're doing this for a job.

[563] This whole audience is eating them up with a spoon.

[564] And so I like, I want to do this.

[565] So I signed up for the classes.

[566] And, you know, I would just keep going back to shows.

[567] I would see Tina Faye, who joined the main stage, taking the place of John Glazer.

[568] It was just so fun to see the evolution of these things.

[569] And for me, like the feather in my cap, you know, and of course going all through all that.

[570] But from remembering that point in 1995 to working my way up and then being able to work with Adam McKay and being able to work with John Glazer and Rachel Dredge and Tina Faye and Kevin Dorf and like all these people who like inspired me that.

[571] That's pretty cool.

[572] That's, it was fun.

[573] And I do not take it for a grant.

[574] And then you come to New York.

[575] They were the bridge that got me to you.

[576] Yeah.

[577] You came to New York and you started doing stuff for us.

[578] And then it was really fun because for years you did bits for us.

[579] Then you get cast in 30 Rock and you start coming on as a celebrity, which was, you know, I mean, just wrong.

[580] Wait, what?

[581] No. No, no, it was just, it was really cool to see that happen to you.

[582] I'm being, it's no fun when I'm sincere, but, God damn it, it's not as funny.

[583] I'll get the sincere shit out of the way, but it was really nice to see you.

[584] You were always a very talented and funny, sweet guy, and you did all this great work for us, and then you became Jack McBrayer, and we would have you on as Jack McBrayer, and the crowd would be like, oh, my God, there he is.

[585] Right.

[586] when, you know, you didn't have to be dressed as a mule or a spinning wheel or anything.

[587] I just chose to.

[588] Yeah, exactly.

[589] You still came on as a mule, but that was your choice.

[590] So, but you come on, and when Tina approached you to play this page, Kenneth, on the show on 30 Rock, did you look at the character and just know exactly how to do it?

[591] I did.

[592] I mean, she kind of wrote to you.

[593] She did, and I don't think that's any secret at all.

[594] but Tina, I knew Tina from Chicago Second City Days.

[595] Her husband, Jeff Richmond, was my director at Second City.

[596] So I was definitely connected to them and they knew my work.

[597] So when it came time for her to write the pilot for 30 Rock, they did add a page.

[598] And I think it was written towards me. I still had to audition and everything.

[599] But, man, I'm glad.

[600] How did you prepare for that?

[601] Did you?

[602] Well, I knew that script backwards and forwards because even though Tina was really rooting for me, You know, I still had to prove myself to all the network, the studio, all that kind of thing.

[603] So I got prepared, and I don't know if you know this story.

[604] Do you don't know the story about when I put myself on tape for the 30 Rock audition?

[605] I happened to be in New York.

[606] So this would have been the summer of 2005.

[607] And I happened to be in New York, I think, for an improv festival.

[608] Tina got wind that I was in town.

[609] So she was like, hey, I know you're in town.

[610] Will you stop by the NBC casting people, put yourself on tape for the untitled Tina?

[611] a Fay pilot.

[612] And I was like, uh, yeah.

[613] So I knew, because I knew that she had like kind of tailored it towards me, I needed to crush this.

[614] I needed to knock it out of the park.

[615] So besides being very prepared, I was like, how can I make the best impression possible?

[616] You know, I've actually played a page on Conan's late night show multiple times.

[617] I wonder if.

[618] So I called up y 'all's page desk.

[619] And I got up there and I talked to wardrobe.

[620] I was like, can I borrow just for 20 minute a paid uniform.

[621] Well, yeah, whatever.

[622] So they put me in there.

[623] Your hair and your makeup people like, you know, gussied me up.

[624] And I went upstairs to the whatever floor, put myself on tape for the untitled Tina Fey pilot.

[625] And that is the tape that got me through the studio, through the network.

[626] It got me the job.

[627] It got me the job.

[628] Is it fair for me to say that you know whatever you're going to say.

[629] No. No. You can't, you use my people.

[630] You use my wardrobe.

[631] You use my makeup.

[632] And see, this was supposed to be a nice story.

[633] And here you are.

[634] You go.

[635] Well, I just, I'm sure I deserve some percentage.

[636] I'm sure you don't.

[637] Percentage.

[638] That's by my last school.

[639] I did not know that.

[640] I did not know that you had stepped on my back to it.

[641] To reach this great height.

[642] But whatever, I'm used to it.

[643] What else is new?

[644] You play that part.

[645] And I remembered, I, it's so funny, I occasionally remember, wait a minute, I'm in the early three rocks.

[646] I completely forgot.

[647] Yeah.

[648] Because I remember Tina coming by to shoot a part where I think Tracy was on my show.

[649] The episode is called Tracy Does Conan.

[650] I think it's the sixth episode of the first season.

[651] Yeah.

[652] And then she has, she, I guess, we used to go out was the idea.

[653] Correct.

[654] I think I was Tina's Liz Lemon's old boyfriend.

[655] Correct.

[656] Y 'all were supposed to lose your virginity to each other.

[657] Yes.

[658] Yeah.

[659] And then, which is very plausible.

[660] And then I did a scene.

[661] I remember I had a scene with Alec Baldwin on the show once.

[662] And so I remember that was just the very beginning of the show.

[663] And then the show took off.

[664] They did not meet me anymore.

[665] You came back.

[666] We made many references to you?

[667] Yes.

[668] I remember I think Tim Conway's character had a great.

[669] He made it.

[670] He was such a funny joke.

[671] Tim Conway, I think Tim Conway's line was something like, I saw Conan O 'Brien.

[672] Who is she and why is she so sad?

[673] I think, honestly, I think it was like, I saw a tall lesbian with a guitar.

[674] Who is Conan?

[675] And why is she so sad?

[676] Okay.

[677] Better.

[678] That's such a great.

[679] I saw a tall lesbian in the whole way.

[680] But it was, makes me very happy.

[681] And I think at the very end they brought me in for a thing to sort of tie up the loose ends.

[682] Correct.

[683] And we actually had a little bit in that same episode.

[684] So Tracy does Conan, where I'm pretending to be a guest on your late night show as Ken at the page.

[685] And then I start clogging for the audience.

[686] Oh, my God.

[687] And you walk through and say something terrible.

[688] I know.

[689] So what happened was we institutionalized this bit.

[690] We were doing with each other became institutionalized.

[691] So, yeah.

[692] So you do that.

[693] And then you start to have, you branch out.

[694] And you've had quite some success with, say, the wreck at Ralph.

[695] Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[696] A franchise, which led to, I had a Christmas party once at my house, which, and you're always invited to the Christmas party.

[697] It's a fun party.

[698] And you always show up fairly early.

[699] Okay.

[700] And you and one other person are always the last to leave.

[701] Do you know who it is?

[702] Joel McHale.

[703] You guys do not leave.

[704] My wife will go to bed and do a lot of like fake yawning and then say, well, time to turn in.

[705] The sun's coming up.

[706] And you two will look at each other and say, hey, Conan, you know, there's any ham left?

[707] Seriously.

[708] And then we sit around the table and we eat ham with our hands.

[709] With our hands, like monsters.

[710] Some of my son's friends were there and some of my daughter's friends were there one year.

[711] And this girl came up to you.

[712] Remember, I want to say, I won't give her name away because I think it's unfair when it's a child's involved.

[713] But let's say she's about nine or ten years old at the time.

[714] And she walked up to you and you were standing there, dressed up to you.

[715] dressed very nicely for my Christmas party.

[716] And what did she say to you?

[717] Are you a teenager or a grown -up?

[718] And she was serious.

[719] She didn't know.

[720] And I'm not sure.

[721] None of us or sure.

[722] I didn't.

[723] Well, are you?

[724] Yeah.

[725] You know what?

[726] Somebody called me up.

[727] Sean Hayes once pointed out, he's like, Jack, you look like a child's drawing of a grown -up.

[728] it's true though you know in an eerie way you look exactly the way that you did when I met you in 2002 no you look you look exactly the same you don't change clean living he said thanks to Mountain Dew made with all natural Mountain Dew the Dew the Dew of the Mountain where they do nuclear testing oh come on down.

[729] But this is your job.

[730] This is the dumbest thing in the world.

[731] It really is.

[732] But you know, I'm very, there are certain people who I think have created their own reality.

[733] I think I've somehow managed to do that too.

[734] I created an environment where I could be a complete ass and somehow it keeps the lights on.

[735] I don't really know how it happened.

[736] I have no idea who allowed this to happen.

[737] You think someone would shut this down?

[738] Yeah.

[739] We're working on it.

[740] I think they are.

[741] They're working on it.

[742] I've notified the proper authorities.

[743] Who are the proper authorities?

[744] I know.

[745] Who did you notify?

[746] Ronald Hammersmith.

[747] L -A -C -W -P.

[748] Right, okay.

[749] Arch is part of a comptroller.

[750] This is lieutenant governor.

[751] He's just saying words.

[752] He might be having a stroke.

[753] He said lieutenant governor of California?

[754] Hammer Smith.

[755] It's a state between California and Nevada.

[756] Compstrollers.

[757] Hard to get done.

[758] I'm going to move on.

[759] It gets one road, one road.

[760] I got to run.

[761] Have you ever, here's that thing I want to ask you about.

[762] You were in a music video once with Mariah Carey.

[763] I was.

[764] And I want to know about that because I'm always intrigued.

[765] For better or worse, I'm comfortable with you in my sphere.

[766] And then, of course, on 30 Rock, which felt like, well, you're just literally, we're two floors away from me. So it's still.

[767] But then when you go out in the real world and you interact with real big celebrities, I'm confused.

[768] I don't know what's happening.

[769] Me neither.

[770] And so you were in like a big, Mariah Carey's 2008 music video, touch my body.

[771] Touch my body.

[772] And you're in it.

[773] And I don't know.

[774] I don't know anything.

[775] Yeah, my life is weird.

[776] And I, honestly, if I'm being completely honest, I bet you there were 12 people who were either unavailable or said no, thank you.

[777] And so, you know, call on Jack McBrown.

[778] I don't think so.

[779] All sloppy seconds McBride.

[780] I don't think she wanted Jack McBrayer.

[781] You were famous from 30 Rock and she wanted you.

[782] I got to say, it was fun.

[783] It was surreal, but it was fun.

[784] It was over two days and it was just the weirdest thing of, you know, having the director saying, like, okay, okay, Mariah, spank Jack Moore.

[785] Spank Jack, okay, Jack, I've had dreams like this.

[786] Yeah, me too.

[787] Walk more slowly with the unicorn.

[788] It was weird and very strange and fun.

[789] A lot of stuff like that in my life.

[790] Did you get to know Mariah Carey at all?

[791] Well, yes, and our paths have crossed a couple times since.

[792] Whatever year, Seth Myers hosted the Golden Gloves, Emmys.

[793] One of the big parties.

[794] Espe's.

[795] Might have been, but Mariah Carey would have been.

[796] Latin Grammys.

[797] Okay, you're just saying award shows.

[798] I thought we were supposed to do that.

[799] No, we weren't.

[800] That was the assignment.

[801] No, it literally wasn't.

[802] We were trying to find the answer to a question.

[803] All right.

[804] But she was there and we...

[805] The Ebony Magazine Award.

[806] Please just stop talking forever.

[807] But what if that worked?

[808] Could you read it for a podcast?

[809] You can take it over.

[810] Well, frantic waving.

[811] Learn your improv skills here.

[812] Would you stop talking forever?

[813] But you have to yes and that.

[814] See?

[815] I can't.

[816] Denial.

[817] Denial is not.

[818] Not everywhere in Egypt.

[819] So you got to know her.

[820] You got to know Mariah Carey.

[821] Well, and you know me. I can make friends with wallpaper.

[822] So, like, once you're friends with me, you're going to stay friends with me. Unless you cross me. You do not have to talk about this next thing I'm going to bring up.

[823] What is it?

[824] You were invited to a wedding, a celebrity wedding.

[825] Can we talk about it?

[826] I think so, yeah.

[827] Okay.

[828] You were invited to a huge celebrity wedding.

[829] I know.

[830] And you don't know why.

[831] I do know why.

[832] I was, I think I was just so.

[833] shattered and excited and honored that it kind of didn't make sense.

[834] Well, tell us, tell the story.

[835] All right.

[836] And start at the beginning where you're, you're in your bed, corn crib, whatever.

[837] See, you were so close.

[838] You were in your normal bed.

[839] Thank you.

[840] That a person in the 21st century would have.

[841] Thank you.

[842] And you are, you got the covers pulled up, and you are waking up.

[843] Yes.

[844] Oh, there it is.

[845] Come on.

[846] Wait a minute.

[847] There is not.

[848] A lot of people have chickens now and roosters.

[849] Yes, they do.

[850] Let's take a poll.

[851] I don't.

[852] I don't.

[853] I don't.

[854] I don't.

[855] I guess I went.

[856] That's my point.

[857] My point is we don't, but we are in a bubble.

[858] Most people out there have chickens.

[859] But you specifically...

[860] And you wake up and...

[861] Eat my slop.

[862] Thank you.

[863] Eat your slop.

[864] Then it's out to the North 40 and you get to work.

[865] Anyway, please tell us about the celebrity wedding.

[866] This is a big, this is a big one.

[867] Okay.

[868] So, here's how it all began.

[869] The year was 2009.

[870] So 30Walk was going.

[871] Alec Baldwin was hosting S &L on February 14th, 2009.

[872] The musical guest were the Jonas Brothers.

[873] Oh, for God's sake.

[874] Oh, okay.

[875] I see where you're going now.

[876] I didn't know where this was all going.

[877] You were already fresh, let him tell a story.

[878] It's like he was testifying.

[879] And he was giving dates, and I got nervous.

[880] No, I want to hear the story.

[881] I don't want to ruin it because I think it was a beginner.

[882] Take us from the beginning and go.

[883] I literally was.

[884] I know.

[885] I know.

[886] I apologize.

[887] He's doing the thing you asked.

[888] I apologized.

[889] And you stopped him to tell him to do the thing you asked.

[890] Well, he started giving dates.

[891] I don't want dates.

[892] But anyway, go ahead.

[893] You do dates all the time.

[894] Please.

[895] Okay, I'm sorry.

[896] Ugh.

[897] So anyways, the musical guest were the Jonas Brothers.

[898] Alec had me come on and do a little cameo during his open and monologues.

[899] Of course, I was thrilled to do that.

[900] I was like, absolutely.

[901] But during the course of the rehearsals and the performances and the performances and stuff, you know, just hanging out.

[902] I got to know the Jonas brothers, delightful individuals, all three of them.

[903] And so that was in 2009, and like they were babies back then.

[904] And so it's not like, I was like, hey, let's exchange information and be friends forever.

[905] But during the course of years, our paths crossed again.

[906] I saw them at a different SNL when Tracy Morgan was hosting.

[907] I was staying in a hotel in Toronto that Nick Jonas happened to be at.

[908] And then here in Los Angeles, I'm neighbors with a very very.

[909] talented actor named Glenn Powell he was just in the top gun movie oh yeah he's so many attractive men in this story so yeah so Glenn and Nick Jonas had worked together on screen queens which I think was either Fox or FX yeah um and so Glenn is just such a lovely host he would have game nights movie nights you know just you know hang out nights and so Nick Jonas would come to those parties I was their neighbor so I would come over again I'm a thousand years old, older than any of these children.

[910] So I'd be like, quiet down now.

[911] And just as a side note, Nick Jonas happens to be a big fan of the movie.

[912] They came together that I was in.

[913] I mean, I have to admit, I haven't even seen the movie.

[914] But he was such a big fan.

[915] Glenn would invite me over, and then Nick would ask me all these questions about the movie that I simply didn't have the answer.

[916] So I'm going to catch us up.

[917] You became tight with some of the Jonas brothers.

[918] Am I taking too long?

[919] A little bit.

[920] I'm sorry.

[921] Stop it.

[922] I'm sorry.

[923] I was trying to get us down the road a little bit.

[924] I want to hear more about Glenn Powell and stuff, too.

[925] Let's just stop budding in.

[926] Are you asked me the question?

[927] Yes, sorry.

[928] We're sorry about it.

[929] Yeah, we're sorry.

[930] We only have so much tape in the machine.

[931] There is no tape.

[932] Then you stop talking.

[933] Let me talk.

[934] This is the worst day in my life.

[935] Okay.

[936] So at this time, Nick Jones.

[937] Jonas is dating Priyanka.

[938] Pryanka Chippa.

[939] Lovely, very talented actress.

[940] And so Nick would have these fun activities with Pryanka, but want to introduce some of his friends to her.

[941] So, like, we went on a beautiful yacht ride over Memorial Day weekend.

[942] No, no, it was Glenn Powell, you know, that whole crowd again.

[943] You were on a yacht with Nick Jonas and Priyanka Chopra.

[944] Yeah.

[945] You on a yacht.

[946] It's just fantastic.

[947] Are you making fun of you?

[948] I'm not making fun of you.

[949] I think the idea of me on a yacht is absurd.

[950] I've never been on a yacht.

[951] I mean, there's a great many things in my life that I'm like, this is crazy.

[952] The Moray Carey video, getting eventually invited to Nick and Priyanka's wedding.

[953] Okay, well, you jumped out.

[954] India.

[955] So this is the thing.

[956] In India.

[957] And India.

[958] This is the thing I was trying to get you to some 40 minutes ago.

[959] Oh, come on.

[960] No, no. It's his podcast.

[961] yammering on all this time and it gets mad when somebody else talks.

[962] Oh, snap.

[963] Wow, finally.

[964] I'm sorry.

[965] I'm just saying it like it is.

[966] Okay.

[967] So, tell the story of you getting invited to a wedding in India, not any wedding, Nick Jonas, Priyanka Chopra.

[968] This is amazing.

[969] No, no, but now I want to hear about the wedding.

[970] Okay.

[971] Okay.

[972] So that's the, I mean, this is a great story, but let's really get to the wedding in India.

[973] Have I ever been to India?

[974] No. I don't even know.

[975] Did you think it was Indiana at first?

[976] Be honest.

[977] Can you leave the room?

[978] D 'Irto, let's cut his mic.

[979] Let's cut his mic.

[980] They've cut my mic.

[981] They've cut his vocal.

[982] Okay, so you get invited.

[983] Go.

[984] I'm sorry.

[985] I swear to God, I'll shut up until we get through the wedding.

[986] Go.

[987] So I was so honored.

[988] It was, it was bonkers.

[989] I was like, yes.

[990] If you're being serious, yes.

[991] And so I had, you know, a mutual friend helped me figure out how to book that flight.

[992] Now, have you ever been to an Indian wedding?

[993] I have not.

[994] If you ever get invited to an Indian wedding, say yes.

[995] Isn't it days long?

[996] It's a week long and it's amazing.

[997] It's like there's so many different events.

[998] and there's so many different wardrobe changes.

[999] Like, it's bonkers, and it is fun.

[1000] And it's just beautiful and musical and, like, colors everywhere.

[1001] It was really, really fantastic.

[1002] So you flew all the way to India.

[1003] I flew to India.

[1004] Which city?

[1005] Jodpur.

[1006] Jipur.

[1007] Sona and I have been to Jipur.

[1008] We have.

[1009] Yeah.

[1010] Am I saying it right?

[1011] Jipur.

[1012] Yeah.

[1013] It's the...

[1014] Maybe you're saying it right, and we're saying it.

[1015] No, I'm J -O -D -H.

[1016] P -U -R?

[1017] Those are boots, J -A -I...

[1018] But that's what they're named from and they're not boots through those hip pants with the little...

[1019] Jod -Pers, yes, that's right.

[1020] They're there, the directors, if you're doing a take -off of a director in the 1920s, he's wearing Jod -Pers.

[1021] Yes.

[1022] Well, we've been to J -I -P -U -R which is different.

[1023] I don't know.

[1024] Is it?

[1025] How do you spell yours?

[1026] J -A -I -P -U -R.

[1027] Sounds different to me. Yeah, but it's, I don't know, maybe you know it's the proper spelling, too.

[1028] Who knows?

[1029] I think there are two places.

[1030] I think it might be actually places, yeah.

[1031] But it was beautiful, and it was so fun.

[1032] It was like nothing I had ever.

[1033] It was like a royal wedding, I guess.

[1034] I've never been to one, but it was wild.

[1035] And, like, I'm still friends with all of Priyanka's cousins.

[1036] And, you know, I know all the North Carolina family on the Jonas side.

[1037] It was fun.

[1038] So, you were there for several days.

[1039] Yeah.

[1040] And you have to wear, you wear special costumes, right?

[1041] Yeah.

[1042] And, like, within a date.

[1043] You have to, like, change over and stuff.

[1044] Did you, can I ask you a question?

[1045] This is a little, did you pay for the costumes?

[1046] Oh, yeah.

[1047] You did.

[1048] Yes, sir.

[1049] Because I know that you are somewhat frugal.

[1050] Is that fair to say?

[1051] I guess.

[1052] Where's this going?

[1053] No, I just wondering if you thought it was an imposition.

[1054] Did I make homemade clothes for this?

[1055] If there's a way you, do you know what I mean?

[1056] You are a frugal man. When they said to you're going to have to buy six outfits and have them made for you, there was no hesitation at all?

[1057] No. And here's what else.

[1058] I did book my flight there with miles.

[1059] And so only paid $300 to get over there.

[1060] I love that I whispered.

[1061] I know.

[1062] They can't.

[1063] You whispered into a microphone.

[1064] No one can know.

[1065] Do they tell you what kind of clothes you'll need for each event?

[1066] They were very, very helpful for all of this.

[1067] So they actually hooked us up with a company that specializes in the clothes that you'd wear for the certain ceremonies.

[1068] And, you know, each one had different meanings.

[1069] And it was like nothing else I had ever seen.

[1070] And they made it very user -friendly and welcoming.

[1071] And it was awesome.

[1072] Now I have to call these people and say, hey, I've talked about girls' wedding.

[1073] Yeah.

[1074] Oh, it's fine.

[1075] You said only nice things.

[1076] It's not like you sent anything untoward.

[1077] Well, I think he acquitted himself well.

[1078] Oh, I think it's a rave review.

[1079] It's a rave review of a beautiful wedding.

[1080] It was like nothing I had ever, ever, ever experienced before.

[1081] Sometimes you just got to say yes to the weird stuff.

[1082] Oh, my God.

[1083] Yeah.

[1084] How do you think I got here?

[1085] Okay, you know, take it easy, buddy.

[1086] Best thing it ever happened to you, that's what you should put you on the map.

[1087] Before this, you were on the Quiggles and Bean show.

[1088] I was happy then.

[1089] Cradles and Bean.

[1090] Quiggles and beans.

[1091] What's cradles and beans?

[1092] Anyway.

[1093] Yeah, Jack.

[1094] Listen, you have, what a great journey that you have had to go from, you know, you're working in a factory.

[1095] in Georgia and then you're at pretty much a royal wedding of huge superstars in India and being fetid, you know?

[1096] I mean, what an incredible, and it's, I'm fair to say, kind of a rags to riches story.

[1097] I mean, you're not wrong, but it's really, like sometimes, you know, just even living here in Los Angeles, I'll look out and I'm like, I can't believe I live in California.

[1098] I have a swimming pool.

[1099] Well, you call it the cement pond.

[1100] I knew it.

[1101] He has.

[1102] I never.

[1103] No. You have to.

[1104] You have to.

[1105] You have to.

[1106] I braced.

[1107] Dude.

[1108] Who, howdy?

[1109] I'm trying to think, like, what other weird things?

[1110] Like, I was at Kenny G's Super Bowl party.

[1111] What?

[1112] Those two things don't go together.

[1113] You are the celebrity where's Waldo.

[1114] You show up everywhere.

[1115] Nothing makes sense to me. Wait, how do you know Kenny G?

[1116] From Chris Marley.

[1117] Martin's birthday party.

[1118] Well, how do you know Chris?

[1119] That doesn't explain it.

[1120] How do you know Chris Martin?

[1121] Fella, I don't know.

[1122] I don't know how things are my left work.

[1123] Them's just fighting words.

[1124] Jim's?

[1125] We've established I'm a very sad lesbian.

[1126] Do not call me fella.

[1127] I don't understand it.

[1128] I mean, I look at all of your explanations for, how do you know Chris Martin?

[1129] Well, Robert De Niro introduced him.

[1130] Well, how do you know Robert De Niro?

[1131] Well, I was at Alvin's a lot of, Yeah, was it Al Pacino St. Patrick's Day's Salute?

[1132] What?

[1133] How do you know St. Patrick?

[1134] Yeah.

[1135] Jack is like the opposite of you.

[1136] Your podcast is called Conan O 'Brien needs a friend, and Jack just has so many friends.

[1137] You know, it's interesting.

[1138] You are, I think that's where all this rage on my part comes from, is that I try and try and try, but like Nixon, all my efforts only make me less popular.

[1139] Do you know what I mean?

[1140] That's true.

[1141] And you are just this.

[1142] Yeah.

[1143] This, you know, you're this grinning.

[1144] Well, let's take a look at why that may be.

[1145] He's nice.

[1146] He is really nice.

[1147] Jack is the friendliest person I know.

[1148] You are nice.

[1149] And he's accomplished so much and he's still so kind to everybody.

[1150] He hosts the Apple TV Plus, Hello Jack, the Kindness Show.

[1151] I do.

[1152] I'm real proud of that.

[1153] And you know what?

[1154] It's very nice.

[1155] It's a children's show.

[1156] It's kind of like Mr. Rogers' neighborhood.

[1157] Okay.

[1158] And my daughter has taken to this show.

[1159] No, you told me that.

[1160] That's a big compliment.

[1161] I really love that.

[1162] She adores it.

[1163] No, congratulations on that because it premiered last fall.

[1164] A special episode was just released in June.

[1165] This is a very popular show.

[1166] You've been very, I've known you for a long time, and it has meant a lot to you to want to do a children's show.

[1167] And when you came out with, that's the kind of show, which is kind of on brand for you.

[1168] You do believe in, and this is where you and I don't see eye to eye.

[1169] I pitch a show Your asshole show My Apple TV plus Salute to Satan Oh no Conan O 'Brien Makes good on his deal At the devil Is gonna follow Is gonna follow Can I have a lollipop I'll get nothing And like it Oh Mr. O 'Brien What happens to us as we get it We die Oh Oh man Gee Mr. O 'Brien Cigarette on the floor Yeah No, but it comes from a real place with you.

[1170] That's nice.

[1171] Yes, I have limited skill sets, as you've pointed out.

[1172] I'm not saying limited, but it fits here.

[1173] Have you ever thought I want to play a villain?

[1174] I want to play someone who's evil.

[1175] I want to play because you are very, I'm, you know, all joking aside, you are a very talented fellow.

[1176] You could, and I'm sure a terrific actor, do you ever want to play completely against type?

[1177] No. You don't want him.

[1178] I mean, not yet.

[1179] What about a guy who's just a real, like an assassin and a murderer?

[1180] Do you think you could do that?

[1181] Do you think you have it within you to say things like, nice try, now you die.

[1182] That kind of stuff?

[1183] Let's try that.

[1184] Do you want to try it?

[1185] Like that?

[1186] How you would experience, how would Jack McBrere be an assassin?

[1187] A terrible murderer who's just out for blood.

[1188] I'll lay in like an action music sting here.

[1189] Ready?

[1190] Nice try.

[1191] Now you die.

[1192] Coming this fall.

[1193] I would watch that.

[1194] Because you know what, it's a new take on evil.

[1195] You know, you're a guy who's got manners banged into you, you know, from childhood.

[1196] But you got into this profession and you're good at killing.

[1197] And you don't, it doesn't particularly make you too upset to kill.

[1198] But you still have the same affect that you have.

[1199] Don't you think that would be great?

[1200] I guess.

[1201] I just don't care for the killing.

[1202] I know, but that part, you kill with a gun, so it's not personal, you know what I mean?

[1203] There you go.

[1204] Good justifying.

[1205] Does he kill it?

[1206] Do break, do break.

[1207] Do you do me a favor.

[1208] Just say, if I don't get my money in 24 hours, the puppy dies.

[1209] I don't get my money in 24 hours.

[1210] That puppy will die.

[1211] Let's strip away all of the madness.

[1212] call us friends.

[1213] Yes.

[1214] Come on.

[1215] We are.

[1216] We're friends.

[1217] We're pals.

[1218] We are.

[1219] You can plead the fifth on this.

[1220] You don't have to answer this.

[1221] No, we are friends.

[1222] What is it?

[1223] Do you understand that you are like catnip to me?

[1224] That your very presence makes me insane.

[1225] You've seen it, Sona, right?

[1226] It really is.

[1227] It's very specific people.

[1228] When they're around him, he lights up and then he's like, oh, the amount of things he can think of.

[1229] And you know what?

[1230] You play along, and I think it just empowers him.

[1231] So this is a true.

[1232] story just before we started this podcast here at our new podcast studio space here in Larchmont in Los Angeles.

[1233] I see that you've just entered and you're walking down towards the podcast studio and I get so excited I turned to Sona who is eating what?

[1234] I was eating some chocolate.

[1235] I was eating a crunch bar and a small Snickers bar.

[1236] I had them and what did I do?

[1237] I was so excited.

[1238] One of them and what this was awful.

[1239] In one hand I had like a wrapper and then you knocked the wrapper out of my hand and then I grabbed the chocolate out of my head.

[1240] And then I grabbed the chocolate out of mouth because I'm angry, then you knock that out of my hand, and then you step on it, and you laugh.

[1241] Like a maniac.

[1242] Just like a maniac.

[1243] And it was the behavior of, look, I am a 44 -year -old grown man. Oh, sir.

[1244] 45.

[1245] Oh, sir.

[1246] I am a 78 -year -old man who should know.

[1247] better.

[1248] But I literally do become a giddy puppy when you're around and I behave in an insane manner.

[1249] And I hope you take it as a compliment that it should be.

[1250] I love it.

[1251] I love it.

[1252] But also, again, when you think back to where you were and where you are, I can't believe, like, I'm hanging out with you, you know?

[1253] Like, I used to watch you on my TV.

[1254] You didn't own a television.

[1255] He's gesturing the same.

[1256] That was your takeaway?

[1257] My takeaway from that very nice statement was, you didn't own a television.

[1258] I know, he's being so nice.

[1259] No, no, listen, that was, no, listen, that was, I don't take it for granted either.

[1260] And we went out to dinner, we won't say with who, very famous comedy person, just the other night.

[1261] You and I had a really nice, you and I had a really nice dinner the other night with a famous person who won't be mentioned.

[1262] Great.

[1263] But we had a blast with Hater.

[1264] It was great.

[1265] And was it really?

[1266] He didn't say first name, though.

[1267] Yeah, yeah.

[1268] I won't say witch hater.

[1269] But he went on his way and then I walked you to your car.

[1270] And we hugged each other.

[1271] It was quite late at night.

[1272] Yeah.

[1273] And I said, I hugged you and I went, well, love you, Jack.

[1274] You didn't say anything in return.

[1275] I don't remember that.

[1276] You blacked out.

[1277] Blacked out.

[1278] And you just let me get behind the wheel?

[1279] That's all of you.

[1280] Did that hurt your feelings?

[1281] Were you waiting for it?

[1282] Did it?

[1283] I knew he couldn't do it.

[1284] He said a cartoon mule.

[1285] He's not going to say I'll love you about.

[1286] I believe it.

[1287] He probably first couldn't even process it.

[1288] It was in denial and then grief.

[1289] Or making sure that you're being sincere.

[1290] Yeah.

[1291] Right.

[1292] Maybe I've stung you so many times so you could.

[1293] Well, I love hanging out with you.

[1294] You are one of my favorite people.

[1295] Every time I see you, this is all as this is as this is as sincere as I can be.

[1296] Every time I lay eyes on you, I am.

[1297] a giddy kid at Christmas and I love we I'm I I I don't care I know at some point you and I are going to exchange real information about each other we did good today today we did pretty well today was the start today was the start you're going to have to go through and take through this find find the moments and string it together like a conversation this will not make sense to anybody this is one of the more lucid ones really.

[1298] Oh, no. It is pretty good.

[1299] But anyway, and before we go, I did want, we have a special surprise guest.

[1300] Who?

[1301] Your first donkey!

[1302] Ew!

[1303] Ew!

[1304] Ew!

[1305] Wow.

[1306] Out of control.

[1307] I just did it because I don't know if they can see your reaction.

[1308] This just absolute.

[1309] We're all so embarrassed.

[1310] Yeah, we really are.

[1311] We are all so embarrassed.

[1312] We were heading towards a beautiful.

[1313] day new mall.

[1314] He can't do it.

[1315] He can't do it.

[1316] Wonderful conclusion.

[1317] I'm sorry.

[1318] You braid like a donkey.

[1319] Like a donkey.

[1320] Yeah.

[1321] Unbelievable.

[1322] We can't end on that note.

[1323] No. Or we can.

[1324] No, Jack, seriously, please continue success.

[1325] And success with Hello Jack, the Kindness Show.

[1326] Thanks.

[1327] You are a force for good in the universe.

[1328] And I swear to God, at some point, I hope it's not for a long, long, long time, but I will be on my deathbed, and I know that they'll be saying, well, he's pretty much gone.

[1329] He's not responding to anybody.

[1330] You will, if you bring Jack into the room, you know this son, right?

[1331] Yeah, it's like a defibrillator.

[1332] If you bring Jack into the room and he goes, excuse me, sir, and I know it's him, I don't care how deep my coma is.

[1333] If there's any brain activity left, I will snap out of him, we, we, we, we'll, Jack McBrere, you know, and I'll go right into it.

[1334] Now, this is like in 30 years this is going to happen and they're going to bring you in.

[1335] 30?

[1336] Nine months.

[1337] Seriously, Jack, you will, if this guy doesn't bring me around, nothing's bringing me around.

[1338] Yes, I agree.

[1339] But thank you so much for coming in.

[1340] And you're a good man. You're a good man. And I do love you.

[1341] You're a good fellow.

[1342] I love you too, Conan.

[1343] Ooh.

[1344] Hey.

[1345] It's good.

[1346] Yeah, that was good.

[1347] There you go.

[1348] Get out on that.

[1349] Wait, donkeys back.

[1350] I've already cut it.

[1351] I've already cut it.

[1352] Last episode, we had a voicemail from a listener, and there seemed to be a bit of a debate because Sona and I, many other people in the room, thought that he was authentic in his persona, in his voice, and his style.

[1353] You think that this guy, Conan, is maybe doing a bit.

[1354] When I first heard his voice, his name was Arnold.

[1355] Right.

[1356] And he called in, I thought, I'm listening.

[1357] But then he kind of doubled down and started talking about his tractor.

[1358] And I thought, it felt to me like an improviser doubling down on his stick.

[1359] And it reminded me of, you know, Brian Stack or some of the people that did great voices that I've worked with over the years and go into characters.

[1360] And I thought for a minute, is this like something out of Tom Sharpling where someone's calling in and it just felt like this person was putting a little bit of mustard on the fastball?

[1361] And that's when I thought this might be inauthentic.

[1362] This person may not be real.

[1363] Maybe someone's pulling our chain.

[1364] Okay, well, there's a little bit of a development in this.

[1365] But first, let's recap the voicemail.

[1366] Hear it again so we can just all get reoriented, the listener as well.

[1367] Hi, Conan.

[1368] My name's Arnold.

[1369] I was wondering if it's possible to be intermittently funny.

[1370] Sometimes I nail it, and I think about comedy and like to do it, but other times it just fall flat.

[1371] You know, I was also wondering last spring dug myself.

[1372] This little pawns here got the tractor halfway stuck in.

[1373] It's a good old 78 International.

[1374] I'm still not figuring out how I'll pull that out.

[1375] But you get an idea, there's my number here.

[1376] All right, Bucco.

[1377] Okay.

[1378] And that was the other thing.

[1379] It was old, when he goes like, oh, the old 78 International.

[1380] And then when he goes like Bucco, I thought, uh, not sure, not sure.

[1381] So I was highly suspicious.

[1382] We're going to be able to get to the bottom of this, I think, because we have Arnold.

[1383] on the line.

[1384] Oh, shit.

[1385] You guys ready?

[1386] No. Okay.

[1387] I just so hope he comes on and he does say like, hello.

[1388] I think he's ready.

[1389] Arnold here.

[1390] I hope you fell for my little scheme, did you?

[1391] I'm calling from the Lawrence Livermore Institute where I've been working on various physiological experiments.

[1392] Or he's like, hi, I'm Arnold.

[1393] Yeah.

[1394] Okay.

[1395] Let's do it.

[1396] Let's bring Arnold on.

[1397] I'm going to patch him in now.

[1398] Hello, is this Arnold?

[1399] It's Arnold right here.

[1400] Oh, hey, Arnold.

[1401] This is Conan O 'Brien talking to you.

[1402] What a nice surprise.

[1403] Hi.

[1404] Well, this is, well, it's a very nice surprise to talk to you.

[1405] Arnold, we got your very nice voicemail, and I thought I'd like to talk to this gentleman.

[1406] And so here we are having a nice conversation.

[1407] How are you, sir?

[1408] Um, about medium, you know, you can't have a good day.

[1409] I'll say, medium.

[1410] Medium.

[1411] It's a nice, yeah.

[1412] Vindicated.

[1413] Medium, medium, international superstar, Conan O 'Brien's on the phone with you, and you're at medium?

[1414] He's authentic.

[1415] He's authentic.

[1416] No, no, sir, let me make it really clear.

[1417] I'm very happy to talk to you.

[1418] You know, sometimes it's just a straight line and ain't nothing you can do about it.

[1419] Well, Arnold, I got to admit, I'm going to admit right now, we listen to your voicemail, and I thought, is this guy putting me on?

[1420] I thought maybe you were, because some times people in this world will call a show like mine, and they'll put on an accent and kind of a character.

[1421] And I thought, is this guy putting me on?

[1422] And so we wanted to talk to you to make sure that you are really Arnold.

[1423] And gosh darn it, you are.

[1424] You are Arnold.

[1425] What's your last name, Arnold?

[1426] Smith.

[1427] What's that?

[1428] Arnold Smith?

[1429] My last name is Smith.

[1430] Oh.

[1431] Yes, sir.

[1432] Now I'm doubting it again.

[1433] Arnold, I think you're an actor and this is a put on.

[1434] That's what I think you're doing right now.

[1435] Where are you from, Arnold?

[1436] Originally from Benton, Kentucky.

[1437] There's a lot of Smith.

[1438] down there, it's like, I don't know, how high can you count?

[1439] Wow, you are from, you're from, okay, so you're from Kentucky.

[1440] All right, well, I'm eating crow right now, a nice big, nice big slice of crow pie, is what I'm having.

[1441] I'm going to have a whole, yeah, Kentucky crow pie.

[1442] So you're from Kentucky and Arnold.

[1443] Yeah, yeah, oh, hey, I got you.

[1444] What do you mean, you got him?

[1445] Oh, come on, I borrowed it.

[1446] You're my writer.

[1447] Yeah, you're going for the original recipe or are you going for the extra crispy?

[1448] Extra crispy, Arnold.

[1449] No, Arnold, you know, I have to ask you something.

[1450] Your question was, can you be intermittently funny?

[1451] And you seem like you're very funny and very authentically funny.

[1452] So, and no one, no one's got a 100 % perfect.

[1453] I cannot think of one person in the history of the world.

[1454] Show me all the funniest people in the world who were always funny.

[1455] every second.

[1456] So I think everybody's intermittently funny, even the funniest people in the world.

[1457] So I like your style.

[1458] I really do.

[1459] I think you're a very amusing fellow.

[1460] I try.

[1461] I like, it's nice to see people smile, interact with them.

[1462] That's very nice.

[1463] Well, what about his tractor?

[1464] Yeah, what about the old 78 International?

[1465] Is it in the pond?

[1466] Yeah, did you get it out?

[1467] No, it's not in the pond no more, that damn thing.

[1468] Rosie gives me trouble sometimes.

[1469] I don't know.

[1470] Okay, Rosie would still be the tractor, I hope.

[1471] I hope that's not someone else who's giving you trouble.

[1472] Arnold, what year were you born if you don't mind me asking?

[1473] I was born in 66, November 14.

[1474] Oh, so you're dating a younger woman this, Rosie, the 78 International.

[1475] Yeah.

[1476] Well, it's a 1486 model.

[1477] I guess I'll tell you a little about it, yes.

[1478] Sure, yeah.

[1479] It's got 16 forward speeds and eight backward speeds.

[1480] It's got a 7 .1.

[1481] Arnold, why does it need 16 forward speeds?

[1482] That just feels excessive, doesn't it?

[1483] Doesn't it?

[1484] Do you use all 16 forward speeds or, be honest, have you mostly used two?

[1485] I would have to tell you that, in all honesty, I've never worked the whole range.

[1486] Of course not.

[1487] Maybe one time, I think I just, but once.

[1488] What would be a circumstance where you need to use the 16th speed?

[1489] Tractor chicken.

[1490] Oh, right.

[1491] Yeah, like in footloose.

[1492] Wow, so nice.

[1493] I don't know about that one, but.

[1494] Have you seen the movie Footloose, Arnold, where they play Tractor Chicken and they drive their tractors right at each other and the last one to turn away wins?

[1495] Maybe a long time ago.

[1496] I kind of forgot it's been a while.

[1497] If you watched Footloose and you watch the scene with Tractor Chicken, you would not forget it, Arnold.

[1498] It changes a man. You're right.

[1499] That's something that would stand out.

[1500] But in top gear, top.

[1501] like maybe 20, 21 miles an hour if you're lucky.

[1502] Yeah, I've been stuck behind some tractors on the highway a couple times.

[1503] In L .A.?

[1504] Yeah, they're not moving.

[1505] No, I like to drive to rural areas and find tractors and get behind them.

[1506] And then just really ride the bumper and act real impatient.

[1507] And when old Gus tries to wave me ahead, you go on ahead.

[1508] You go around.

[1509] There's no car coming.

[1510] I just stay right behind him and lean on that horn.

[1511] Because I hate agriculture, Arnold.

[1512] I hate the growing and producing of food to feed humanity.

[1513] It just gets my gore.

[1514] Are you a farmer?

[1515] Not anymore, but you grow corn for a while and all that.

[1516] Oh, I forgot to tell you about the tractor.

[1517] It's got like a people aquarium on it.

[1518] You know, big square kind of glassed -in spot.

[1519] What?

[1520] Where I didn't operate.

[1521] Wait a minute.

[1522] The big old, it's glass.

[1523] Are you scooping people up with your tractor, putting them in an aquarium?

[1524] I'm curious about this.

[1525] Arnold, you say that you drive the tractor and there's a people aquarium on it?

[1526] Oh, yeah.

[1527] It's like the cab, but it looks more like an aquarium than a cab.

[1528] Yeah, it's just an thing.

[1529] I love that you said there's something I forgot to tell you about the tractor.

[1530] When it's clear, Arnold, there's probably nothing you haven't told us about this tractor.

[1531] I know how many speeds it has.

[1532] I know it's top mile per hour.

[1533] I know its name.

[1534] Well, I could give you some more.

[1535] Oh, yeah.

[1536] Okay.

[1537] Okay.

[1538] I dare you.

[1539] I dare you.

[1540] Arnold, let's have it.

[1541] All right, get ready for this.

[1542] So it's got, it can do tandem wheels in the back.

[1543] Whoa.

[1544] Okay.

[1545] You can get like a four -wheel drive, two -wheel drive arrangement.

[1546] Just depends on, you know, how much you are in the thick of it working.

[1547] I got it.

[1548] You know, I just got the four -by -two.

[1549] Well, all you need is the four -by -two right now.

[1550] You know what I mean?

[1551] You said you're not farming.

[1552] You're not really in the thick of it right now.

[1553] So you just stick with the four -by -two, you know?

[1554] That's all you need at this point.

[1555] Anything else is overkill, in my opinion, Arnold.

[1556] Well, you are a, Arnold, you are a, you are a fine gentleman.

[1557] I'm sorry that I doubted your authenticity when you left the message.

[1558] That is me showing my own frailty and weakness.

[1559] I've been in the comedy world too long, and I've worked with too many people who love to do various accents.

[1560] You're cynical.

[1561] Maybe I'm a little cynical, and people call, you know, And I thought, well, here's a guy who's putting on.

[1562] I right away nailed it as Kentucky.

[1563] I knew that.

[1564] And I was like, but I thought it was a comedic artist giving me the old Kentucky spieleroo.

[1565] Arnold, I want you to know that Sona and I never doubted you.

[1566] That's true.

[1567] Did you get Kentucky rolled or something there?

[1568] I did.

[1569] I got Kentucky rolled back in the day.

[1570] I don't want to talk about it.

[1571] There was a period of my life where I roamed the country barefoot.

[1572] All right.

[1573] All right.

[1574] Yeah.

[1575] Yeah, it was, and I spent some time in Kentucky, and yes, sir, I got Kentucky rolled.

[1576] So let's just.

[1577] Well, there were something else I was thinking about.

[1578] I want to touch on these.

[1579] And I definitely identify with you talking about being a skeptic.

[1580] I'm kind of a born skeptic myself.

[1581] Oh.

[1582] You know, just not so quick to be agreeable all the time and really just watch and learn.

[1583] Yeah.

[1584] I like that approach to life.

[1585] I think that that's why when I first heard your voicemail, I thought, really?

[1586] Is this some guy, you know, pretending to be Arnold who isn't really Arnold?

[1587] And but I learned a lesson.

[1588] And I hope you did too that when you reach out and you talk to the real, you talk to the real person, you realize that, you know, there's a lot of authenticity out there in the world.

[1589] We just have to look for it and be prepared.

[1590] And I should not, I should not be as suspicious as I was.

[1591] And I think Matt and Sona have shown me the right way to be.

[1592] Oh, that's weird.

[1593] I don't like that.

[1594] No problem now.

[1595] Yeah, I mean, I'm just, it's tough for me. Just, you know, I've, I just, I could learn from these two.

[1596] And I think I've been around too much comedy.

[1597] I've read too many books.

[1598] I'm too smart and so talented.

[1599] There you know.

[1600] What is, what would you say the thing about comedy is, is it make it too smart to, I don't know.

[1601] I mean, there's like education, there's life education, learn about people in the way they act.

[1602] I don't think it has anything, I think it's in you.

[1603] I think you're a funny guy, Arnold.

[1604] And so you, I think you are 95 % of the way there.

[1605] So you don't need to be thinking about it.

[1606] I appreciate that.

[1607] I just, I was thinking it just, it's just the thing that comes out.

[1608] You know, maybe sometimes I feel like in a weird way I'd lose control of it.

[1609] It just gets going.

[1610] That's the good stuff.

[1611] Arnold, that's the good stuff.

[1612] Sometimes you're up there on Rosie and you're clicking along in 35th gear.

[1613] And we're doing 140 miles an hour.

[1614] and you've driven through you've driven through seven billboards and you get doing some of your telling one of your stem winders and then the next thing you know it's yeah you want to go too far that's the idea that's your whole career yeah my whole career when I lose control of it I've been known to offend because I go a little too far it's hard to tell who's offended who is offendable is that something well that's more and more an issue all the time Arnold, but, you know, but as long as you have a good, yeah, but as long as you have a good heart and you're not trying to hurt people, if someone gets offended, you can usually straighten it out with them and apologize.

[1615] So I think, keep being, yeah, keep doing you, Arnold.

[1616] You do you.

[1617] It's, you know, that's the way to go.

[1618] You got the right idea.

[1619] Well, it was very nice talking to you, sir.

[1620] Really nice talking to you.

[1621] And thanks so much for calling into our show.

[1622] We really do it.

[1623] appreciate it.

[1624] All right.

[1625] Can I give you a little Kentucky roll here?

[1626] Sure.

[1627] Hello.

[1628] That was it.

[1629] That's it.

[1630] Hello.

[1631] Hello.

[1632] Is that's it?

[1633] And you signed off with Bucco, right?

[1634] I say that sometimes.

[1635] That's kind of, you know.

[1636] That's how you signed off on the voicemail.

[1637] You went, okay, Bucco.

[1638] I like Bucco.

[1639] Yeah.

[1640] Yeah, it's kind of a, uh, uh, kind of a thing where it's just, buckle.

[1641] Buckle.

[1642] I like how you, you really get that O working for you.

[1643] Buckle.

[1644] I love it.

[1645] It's a solid shape.

[1646] It rolled.

[1647] All right.

[1648] Well, Arnold, you're the master, and you've taught me well.

[1649] Thank you very much, sir.

[1650] All right.

[1651] Good talking to you, Conan.

[1652] It's been a really nice talk.

[1653] It's been a great talk.

[1654] Thank you, Arnold.

[1655] Take care.

[1656] All right.

[1657] Love you.

[1658] Conan O 'Brien needs a friend.

[1659] With Conan O 'Brien, Sonam of Sessian, and Matt Gorley.

[1660] Produced by me, Matt Goreley.

[1661] Executive produced by Adam Sacks, Joanna Solitaroff, and Jeff Ross at Team Koko, and Colin Anderson and Cody Fisher at Earwolf.

[1662] Theme song by The White Stripes.

[1663] Incidental music by Jimmy Vivino.

[1664] Take it away, Jimmy.

[1665] Our supervising producer is Aaron Blair, and our associate talent producer is Jennifer Samples.

[1666] Engineering by Will Bechtin, additional production support by Mars Melnick, Talent Booking by Paula Davis, Gina Batista, and Britt Kahn.

[1667] You can rate and review this show on Apple Podcast, and you might find your review read on a future episode.

[1668] Got a question for Conan?

[1669] Call the Team Coco hotline at 323 -451 -2821 and leave a message.

[1670] It too could be featured on a future episode.

[1671] And if you haven't already, please subscribe to Conan O 'Brien needs a friend on Apple Podcasts, Stitcher, or wherever fine podcasts are downloaded.

[1672] This has been a Team Coco production in association with Earwolf.