If You Want To Be Successful, Follow This Proven Plan

[0] from the headquarters of Ramsey Solutions, it's the Ramsey Show, where we help people, build wealth, do work that they love, and create actual amazing relationships.

[1] Dr. John Deloney, Ramsey, personality, resident Ph .D., of counseling, is here to help you.

[2] If you have crazy people in your family and you have a question, he's here to help.

[3] He's my co -host today.

[4] Number one, bestselling author, multiple times.

[5] over and host of the Dr. John Deloney show on the Ramsey Networks.

[6] The phone numbers AAA 825 -5 -225.

[7] Brendan is in Detroit.

[8] Hi, Brendan.

[9] How are you?

[10] Good.

[11] How are you doing?

[12] Better than I deserve.

[13] What's up?

[14] So I go to Michigan State University, and I had a question about leasing.

[15] Last year, about October, my current apartment kind of got us in a chokehold and said that we had a sign a lease for next year within about six hours or else we won't get the apartment and we can't live there.

[16] Now their lease is about almost about $250 cheaper and we can't get any cheaper rate at all because we already signed.

[17] Okay.

[18] And how can we help?

[19] So I was wondering on like what would be a good plan to go.

[20] I don't know if that's like something that you could get a lawyer involved or if it's something that I should just try to get out of like get a sub leaser um or what I should do because why do you want to get out of the lease what's up why do you want to get out of the lease uh because it's about $1 ,015 a month and the new lease that they're offering is 799 a month and that would be like a lot different well they're not but they're not you signed up for a thousand dollars originally, and you knew that when you signed up.

[21] So the only thing that's pissing you off is they now rent the same apartment cheaper.

[22] Yeah, it sounds about right.

[23] Okay.

[24] That is, that's, there's nothing.

[25] I don't know why you would get a lawyer.

[26] It sounds like you just, there's no lawyer can help you, dude.

[27] There didn't do anything wrong.

[28] Well, I was wondering more on the part of where they told me that they, I had to sign it within six hours, or that I won't be able to live there at all.

[29] Well, that's not illegal.

[30] You can put a deadline on a negotiation and say, I'm going to offer you this for six hours, and after that I can't promise you you can stay here.

[31] I mean, there's nothing wrong with that.

[32] It's just, you know, if you felt like that that was undue pressure or unreasonable, just don't sign it at the time.

[33] That would have been a possibility.

[34] You know, if you feel like you're being mistreated, go somewhere else, in other words.

[35] But I think the only way, if the only way they rip you off is if they said, y 'all sign it for $1 ,000 and they charge you for $1 ,300.

[36] Yeah, they tried to charge you more than you signed up for that.

[37] Now, what I would do is this, rather than going in with the attitude that they did something wrong, I would just go into the manager's office in person and say, hey, man, I'm a broke college student.

[38] This is a lot of money to me. would you guys show us some mercy and reduce our existing lease to what you're currently selling for?

[39] Man, that would be a huge help because it's a big, the difference is a big deal.

[40] And gosh, when we signed it last year, we had no idea.

[41] Of course, we could get it for this or we would have waited.

[42] But, man, can you help us out here?

[43] But don't go in there acting like they did something wrong because, Brendan, honestly, I don't think they did anything wrong.

[44] So we actually did do that because it's me and three -mile roommates.

[45] And we did go in there and we talked to.

[46] somebody they told us in person they said yeah we can actually get it down to that rate and then they gave us a call back the general manager gave us a call back about a half hour later and was like whoa whoa whoa actually like we can't do that you guys already signed this other one for this rate and it was just like a regular employee we talked to at the beginning so I don't know if his word has any weight to it no he just misspoke he just misspoke no no Okay.

[47] And so, and there's three of you splitting this $250 overcharge?

[48] No, no, no. It's, it's $1 ,015 per person.

[49] Oh, okay.

[50] Okay.

[51] Oh, so it was a $750 reduction you were asking for.

[52] Yeah, sounds about right overall, total for the whole apartment.

[53] Yeah.

[54] There's three people, right?

[55] Four people.

[56] Oh, so it's $1 ,000.

[57] A thousand dollars a month.

[58] that you were asking them to cut it.

[59] Okay, yeah, I can imagine I didn't do that.

[60] Yeah, but just imagine.

[61] So if the marketplace, let's just pretend that they weren't crooks and they weren't trying to screw you, that they just simply thought, hey, we have a really hot property here, and we're going to get people signed up, and if you want to do it, we're going to put it on the market.

[62] If you don't want to sign, you've got six hours to do that.

[63] and then they discover that they can't rent these apartments and they have to drop the prices on them in order to get them rented instead of thinking maybe this was the plan all along.

[64] That's a possibility, actually.

[65] I've worked in college housing for a long time, and the number of students who would say, yeah, we're signing up, we're signing up, we're signing up, and then you start to see the attrition rates throughout the summer.

[66] Like what he's talking about happens all the time in college housing.

[67] like plans change students don't come back and suddenly you're you're faced with a bunch of empty beds that you weren't expecting and you got to figure it out rate wise because you can't have an empty bed I've just experienced this buying a car and then you look on on an ad three months later and the car's cheaper I can't go back to the dealer and get mad at him it just is what it is what it is I think what you had to say Dave is the only thing you can control here is your attitude man and if you want to walk around looking how everybody's ripping you off and instead of going oh man those those guys who waited are going to get a a great deal, maybe next time I might consider waiting, which, by the way, then it's going to sell out, the concert, you're going to wait for tickets to the last day, and the concert's going to sell out.

[68] So it's just kind of the way life works sometimes.

[69] Yeah, yeah, but no, Brandon, an attorney can't help you because nothing was ill. Nothing was done wrong here.

[70] I hate that you guys are paying more than market, but nothing was done wrong.

[71] Open phones at AAA 825 -5 -2 -2 -25.

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[86] We appreciate you listening out there.

[87] Again, if you want to participate today, Dr. John Deloney is my co -host.

[88] The phone number is triple -8 -8 -25 -5 -225.

[89] This show is sponsored by BetterHelp.

[90] Hey good folks, the back -to -school madness is upon us.

[91] It's hitting us right now.

[92] We got travel and work and all these forms to fill out now and sports to travel to.

[93] on and on.

[94] My family's schedule is so packed and we haven't even begun talking about things like exercise and date nights and counseling and church and home projects.

[95] And those are the things that make our life even worth living.

[96] Here's what I've learned.

[97] When it comes to taking care of me, I have to put on my oxygen mask first.

[98] And that means that I have to do the things that keep me well and whole.

[99] And I know that you have to do those same things too.

[100] So don't skip the things that matter to you, including regular exercise, hanging out with your friends and regular therapy appointments.

[101] And when it comes to therapy, contact my friends at BetterHelp.

[102] BetterHelp is 100 % online therapy staffed with licensed therapists.

[103] It's convenient, it's flexible, and it's suited to fit your schedule.

[104] And therapy can help you learn positive coping skills, how to set and practice boundaries, how to become the best version of yourself, and most importantly, how to find peace in all of this chaos.

[105] In this upcoming season, make sure you put on your oxygen mask first.

[106] Never skip therapy day.

[107] Call my friends at BetterHelp.

[108] Visit BetterHelp .com slash Deloni today for 10 % off your first month.

[109] That's BetterHelp, H -E -L -P .com slash Deloni.

[110] Thanks for joining us, America.

[111] We're really glad you're here.

[112] If you are on Baby Step 4 or further, which means you're investing, You're out of debt.

[113] You have your emergency fund in place.

[114] You've lived like no one else.

[115] If you want to go on the live like no one else cruise, we'd love to have you.

[116] Let's do it.

[117] We're going to cruise, baby.

[118] We're going March 22nd of next year.

[119] And we're going to Turks and Caicos, St. Thomas, Puerto Rico, the Bahamas, all the Ramsey personalities, plus Stephen Curtis Chapman, Dina Carter of Strawberry Wine, famous country music singer.

[120] A bunch of us going to be hanging out with you the entire week.

[121] The entire ship is devoted to Ramsey.

[122] And it's the live like no one else cruise.

[123] Now, this is not the Cheapo Cruz.

[124] This is Holland America.

[125] It's nice.

[126] I don't go on to Cheapo cruises.

[127] And so you won't find me there otherwise.

[128] So I'm coming.

[129] John's going to be there.

[130] My wife and all the Ramsey personalities will be with us.

[131] Of course, a bunch of Ramsey.

[132] And we'll be doing special things on the ship all week long and going to very cool places.

[133] It's a way for you to sell.

[134] the milestone of actually starting to win with your wealth building process.

[135] So you can only put down only a $600 deposit and hold your room.

[136] We are approaching a sellout.

[137] And so if you're going to go in March of 25, you need to get on the list right now.

[138] So go to ramsysolutions .com slash cruise for the live like no one else cruise.

[139] Darren is with us in Dallas.

[140] Hi, Darren.

[141] Welcome to the Ramsey Show.

[142] Hi, David.

[143] John, thank you guys so much for taking my call.

[144] Sure.

[145] What's up?

[146] So right now I'm currently in Baby Step 3.

[147] I've just submitted the last payment for my last debt.

[148] So as of the last week, I'm debt -free.

[149] I make about $65 ,000 a year.

[150] It's just me, so single.

[151] But right now I'm kind of going through a bit of a career change.

[152] I'm 25 years old, and so the background information is, I work at an airport, and I've been going through talking to pilots and things like that and speaking with our person that are recruiting, and they have a program to where, a career path program to where I can become a pilot with the airlines here, and I would make pretty substantial income, and I'd like that for myself, as well as being able to fly plane.

[153] My question for you is, is how do I balance, you know, saving up for emergency fund and for a future down payment on a house and retirement, as well as funding, flight school and all other expenses that come along with it?

[154] How do I prioritize that?

[155] What's the best way to go about that?

[156] Any information at all would be helpful.

[157] Okay.

[158] What do you make?

[159] Well, currently I make $65 ,000 a year.

[160] Okay, and what are you going to, you said that, I'm sorry.

[161] and while you're doing all of this, they're not paying for any of it?

[162] They will, so part of the program is that I have a degree and my job is paying for the degree.

[163] So I want to have to pay for the degree portion of it, but I will have to pay for the flight school.

[164] And that, talking with the flight school, all certifications, all total should be probably around $50 ,000.

[165] mm -hmm okay and you're going to get $50 ,000 let's just pretend that that's all we did where are you going to get the $50 ,000 just out of the 65 income uh well just seeing like how much I should save up or put that off or what's the best way to save up I don't want to take out any loans and get back into debt no I don't want you do either I'm just saying if you if you save $25 ,000 a year it takes two years to save up the money, right?

[166] Yes, sir, yeah, yeah.

[167] Okay, and that's pretty strenuous on 65.

[168] I mean, that's living on nothing.

[169] Yes, sir.

[170] Yeah.

[171] So how much debt have you paid off?

[172] I paid off about $13 ,000.

[173] How long did that take?

[174] That, honestly, getting super serious about it, it took less than a year, maybe a year and a half, less than that, just about.

[175] You're in a quarter?

[176] Well, at the $13 ,000 a year rate, saving up $50 ,000 takes you five years, right?

[177] Yes, sir.

[178] So you've got to do better than that, don't you?

[179] Yeah, I get you.

[180] Yeah, that's your basic math there.

[181] And for sure, don't go in debt to go be a pilot, because the pilots you're talking to that are making a lot of money, or pilots have been pilots a long time.

[182] The brand -new pilots out of flight school make about what you make.

[183] yes sir yeah and i have those figures of what i've talked to and what they yeah they make about 65 000 flying for american eagle yes sir and little little commuter planes is what they're doing and that's what they put in there is the brand new kids new kids on the block baby and that's what you'll be so it's going to be a while you're not going to be making 200 k coming out of the shoot you know that right right of course okay all right so you're going to spend 50 ,000 to make about what you make now yes sir at your entry level so that's that That's what you're up against and that's what you're going to have to think through here.

[184] That's why for sure you don't borrow money on this because it would be super stupid to borrow money and do this in your situation.

[185] So, yeah, you got to get your emergency fund in place and then you start working your way through your education ideas.

[186] I'm just still stuck on an industry that is struggling to get new pilots in the pipeline having a degree requirement but not helping out with the flight school.

[187] training that we need to support like it's just everything so backwards sometimes yeah just it's hard for me to wrap my head around an emerging problem across so many fields and everybody's going to how we solve problems 25 years ago to try to solve these new problems and it's just such it's frustrating it's frustrating well when it gets um uh when their shortage of pilots gets bad enough they'll change it yeah i just i just wish there were problems in the world that we could solve seeing them coming instead of waiting until we're hit and then change them but that's called vision don't don't don't be pushy so wild to me uh damien is with us in sacramento hi damian how are you hello doing good um so my question is uh i got about 30 000 in debt and my 4 1k has 40 fix in there and I think I know no no no don't do it that's just don't that's what I was thinking yeah because it's going to cost too much it's going to cost me more in taxes I won't even be able to pay it all up I thought exactly exactly you got a 10 % penalty plus you got your tax rate so it's like borrowing money at 30 or 40 % interest to pay off your debt that doesn't make sense at all see I was an easy that was an easy one yep it was easy yep and so what you've got to do is get your income up your out go down and that's not easy and it's working a lot of hours and that's not easy and sacrificing and that's not easy and then you'll clear the debt and that is then you'll look back and go that was easier than I thought it was going to be Matt's in Grand Rapids hey Matt welcome to the Ramsey show hello Dave hey what's up hey I'm 64 years old I'm going to retire in about four years and my wife and I have no debt other than our home.

[188] We have about $2 .2 million in a 401K.

[189] We owe $300 ,000 on our home.

[190] Does it make sense?

[191] We would like the peace of mind of being totally out of debt.

[192] I'd write a check and pay it off today.

[193] You would?

[194] Yeah.

[195] You don't have any money that's not in the 401K?

[196] Not enough to pay off the mortgage.

[197] Okay.

[198] What do you have in non -mortgage or non -retirement investments?

[199] Just have our emergency fund in a savings account.

[200] So you don't have any investments that aren't in your 401K?

[201] No, sir.

[202] Wow.

[203] Okay.

[204] That's weird for $2 million, but that's cool.

[205] I'll take it.

[206] Good job, by the way.

[207] Excellent job.

[208] 2 .2 million in your 401k.

[209] You rocked it, man. You killed it.

[210] Well, we did.

[211] What's the house worth?

[212] So, when it's paid off $6 .50.

[213] Okay.

[214] So you're approaching a $3 million net worth at 60 -something years old.

[215] Way to go.

[216] Proud of you.

[217] Yes, I would pay off my house today.

[218] Pay the taxes on the 401K.

[219] There's no penalty because you're over $59 .5.

[220] So it's a different answer than the guy before for the set for that reason.

[221] That's the difference.

[222] Yeah.

[223] And he's got plenty of money to do that as well.

[224] This is the Ramsey Show.

[225] You've worked, saved, sacrificed, and been gazelle.

[226] intense with your financial game plan.

[227] But do you have the right defense in place, like the right health insurance?

[228] Look, you can't walk past a doctor's office these days without getting a massive bill.

[229] And if you don't have health insurance, a major medical situation can undo all of your hard work.

[230] That's where my friends at Health Trust Financial can help.

[231] They work for you, not the insurance company.

[232] So they find you the right health insurance and they save you money.

[233] Ramsey has recommended Health Trust Financial for two decades because they're the experts.

[234] And whether you're 19 years old or 90, you can trust them to do two very important things.

[235] Listen to you, then find you health insurance coverage with everything you need and nothing you don't.

[236] Health Trust Financial is your one -stop shop for unbiased advice about affordable health insurance options.

[237] They could save you hundreds of dollars a month.

[238] So make sure you're not.

[239] overpaying.

[240] Go to health trustfinancial .com today.

[241] Healthtrustfinancial .com.

[242] Dr. John Deloney -Ramsey Personality is my co -host today in the lobby of Ramsey Solutions on the debt -free stage.

[243] Jim and Taylor are with us.

[244] Hey guys, how are you?

[245] Good.

[246] How are you?

[247] Doing great.

[248] Thank you for having us.

[249] Absolutely.

[250] Where do you guys live?

[251] So we live in Glassburg, New Jersey, which is about 30 minutes south of Philadelphia.

[252] Gotcha.

[253] Cool.

[254] Welcome to Nashville.

[255] Good to have you.

[256] And here to do a debt -free scream.

[257] How much did you pay off?

[258] We paid off $133 ,536 .81.

[259] Love it.

[260] How long did that take?

[261] About 14 months.

[262] Wow.

[263] And your range of income during that time.

[264] We started off at about 160 ,000 and through side hustles and overtime got it up to about 197 ,000.

[265] Cool.

[266] What kind of debt was the 134?

[267] All student loans.

[268] All student loans.

[269] Worth with every penny.

[270] If not, I would not have met my beautiful wife.

[271] Ah, there you go.

[272] There you go.

[273] Cool.

[274] The stories we tell ourselves, right?

[275] It took $134 ,000 in debt to find her.

[276] Way to go, guys.

[277] So what changed 14 months ago?

[278] What was this?

[279] Makes you do the Ramsey stuff wide open because you guys went for it, man. Yeah, well, it started six or seven years prior to that.

[280] I started listening to the radio, came across to your show.

[281] And, you know, all of the values and ideas I had about money, you guys had as well.

[282] But I just didn't have the plan to put all those values and ideas into place.

[283] And so I started learning more about the baby steps and, you know, why I should be saving money, why I should be out of debt, and started making some changes in my life.

[284] You know, paid off my, I started to pay off my car intentionally saving for, you know, specific reasons.

[285] And then, you know, Taylor came along and we started dating.

[286] and you know we were we decided you know we started talking more about finances through the pandemic we took fp u online we started to do our own journeys and paid off our own cars and then you know not too long after that well first off you know i knew she was the one for me from the very beginning i mean we you know we were in love pretty quickly uh but you know then she kind of said you know this ring or this hand you know really should have something on it you know it's getting a little bear there should be something sparkly you know And so I told her, I said, I'm not going to go into debt to pay for the ring.

[287] And I bet that was a romantic dinner.

[288] And I'm not going to have a car payment, you know.

[289] And so she knew I was a little crazy and serious about this from the very beginning.

[290] And so, you know, we got engaged and we started talking more seriously about finances and got married and then decided, you know, this is what we need to do right from the beginning.

[291] And so we used all of the money we had from our wedding and put that.

[292] and that got us jump started, and then we started to work for those 14 months, putting, you know, five, six thousand a month at the debt until it was done.

[293] Yeah.

[294] Way to go, you guys.

[295] Thank you.

[296] Way to go.

[297] Got to feel great.

[298] Yeah.

[299] Feels real good.

[300] Awesome.

[301] What do you do for a living?

[302] What are your degrees in?

[303] So I'm a nurse.

[304] And I'm a middle school social studies teacher.

[305] Oh, that's so cool.

[306] What was the best, the most productive money was, side hustle?

[307] So I had the opportunity to take call.

[308] So I would do call, like, every two weeks that brought us in an extra like 1 ,000 probably.

[309] And then I did a whole bunch of side hustles in the summertime being off as a teacher.

[310] And, you know, I did Uber at the Jersey Shore.

[311] I taught summer school and I made the banners that you see flying over the beach on the back of planes.

[312] Oh, that's fun.

[313] Yeah, yeah.

[314] That was a job from high school and from college.

[315] And all of those side hustles couldn't come close to her overtime pay.

[316] But, you know, did what I could.

[317] Yeah.

[318] Good job.

[319] OT when you're nursing is great.

[320] Yeah.

[321] That's a big, that's a big step, giant step.

[322] So Taylor, you were in love with this guy.

[323] Yeah.

[324] And then he looks at your dinner and says, yeah, I'm not borrowing money for that ring.

[325] It didn't say it like that.

[326] I know, but that's exactly how I said it.

[327] And I'm not going to have a car payment.

[328] So for everybody out there saying, like, I love him and I love this plan.

[329] The idea being out of debt's cool, but my ring's kind of look like this.

[330] And my husband's going to drive this.

[331] You're 14 months.

[332] You've been married for how long, about two years?

[333] It'll be two years in October.

[334] Okay.

[335] So you've been married a little over a year and a half.

[336] And what would you tell that person on the other side of this?

[337] That ring size matters and that, you know, especially first right out of the gate and that cars, all that stuff.

[338] I think don't look outward, look inward.

[339] Focus on yourself.

[340] You don't know what everyone else's finances look like.

[341] If you don't look, if you look outward, it's easy to be wrapped up in the, oh, I'm not going on vacation there.

[342] I'm not doing that.

[343] but like what does their account look like what do their credit look like you know you don't want to look out look in that's very good very good all right you did it you pay off 135 thousand hundred thirty four thousand dollars worth of debt all student loans in 14 months in your first 18 months of marriage very impressive and now when somebody says how did you do that what do you tell them the keys to getting out of debt is well Dave you at you asked this question every debt -free scream and I've probably seen hundreds of them at this point and so I was going to come in with something so profound something that's going to leave the audience and all that no one else has said and it's the same thing everybody else said okay have a plan and stick to the plan yeah and work to make sure that plan comes to reality yeah you know there were times in the summer where you know three or four nights a week I was away from Taylor you know as a newly married couple doing my side hustles because I stayed at my parents house and so it was about an hour away and that was tough you know so we had to stick to the plan and to work to make sure it happened yeah and just staying on the same page things come up that you don't expect don't budget for and just learning how to pivot like okay this happened how do we get back on track to keep everything in line doing it together yeah communication absolutely so important way to go you guys very proud of you guys thank you who was cheering you on oh all of our family and friends.

[344] It was funny.

[345] All of our friends knew that we were doing this.

[346] So we would do BYOD.

[347] We'd bring our own dinner and we'd all get together and have our own dinners.

[348] Instead of going out to a restaurant.

[349] Yeah.

[350] And our family really helped out as well.

[351] You know, instead of gifts that we might want at Christmas and on birthdays, we'd get practical things, clothes and shoes, so we wouldn't have to spend that extra money so we could put more and more to the debt.

[352] So we had a lot of people cheering us on.

[353] Very cool.

[354] Dude, you guys crushed it, man. I wish you could see us to all guys down the road 20 years, 40 years of being married, y 'all knocked this thing out so quick and you got to overcome a challenge together and you don't owe anybody anything this early in your marriage, which means y 'all just get to live wide open now.

[355] And it's so wild.

[356] It's mainly from Jim.

[357] He was like the main, he was my nerd and I was definitely his free spirit, so I gave him a run sometimes.

[358] But, you know, we did it.

[359] Thanks both.

[360] Yeah.

[361] Way to go, y 'all.

[362] Way to go.

[363] Excellent work.

[364] Good stuff.

[365] All right.

[366] It's Jim and take.

[367] Taylor, Philadelphia, Pennsylvania area, $134 ,000 paid off in 14 months, making $160 to 197.

[368] Count it down.

[369] Let's hear a debt -free scream.

[370] Three, two, one.

[371] We're dead free.

[372] Yeah.

[373] Woo -hoo -hoo!

[374] I love it.

[375] Man, that is fun.

[376] Very well done.

[377] Very well done, you guys.

[378] excellent job and i tell you that's up like you said when you can start out your marriage overcoming an obstacle this big as your first order of business in marriage it sets you up it gives you like relational confidence to take on everything else it comes yeah because it's not confident it's not confidence it's not instagram confidence just jaw and it's no we we did a thing we did it together and now we know oh we can do hard stuff for a year two years we can do that yeah and and we can do it together.

[379] Yeah.

[380] And we can suffer together for a greater good.

[381] And we can get through this and we can go, we can win, you know.

[382] Gosh, if every married, married couple could get the blessing of learning after two years in, that sentence, we can get through this.

[383] Whatever this is, we can get through this.

[384] We can figure out a way to get through this.

[385] Whatever life throws at you, my goodness, what a different world we live in.

[386] And they're already there.

[387] And nobody is going to tell that marriage what to do.

[388] Nobody's going to tell them what to do.

[389] No car company.

[390] No, nobody's going to tell them what to do.

[391] They get to decide what comes next for them.

[392] I just think it's amazing.

[393] It's freedom.

[394] It's freedom.

[395] Freedom.

[396] No married couple has that anymore, Dave.

[397] And they do.

[398] Right out of the gate.

[399] Pretty cool.

[400] That's almost romantic considering he said no ring until I don't borrow money to buy them.

[401] Oh no, you can look at them.

[402] They're gross.

[403] They're super in love.

[404] Yeah.

[405] It's just romance everywhere over here.

[406] This is the.

[407] Ramsey Show.

[408] Buying your first home is a big deal and sets the stage for your financial success.

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[417] 1749, Mallory Lane, Suite 100.

[418] Brent went to Tennessee.

[419] 37027.

[420] Thanks for joining us America.

[421] Dr. John Deloney.

[422] Ramsey personality is my co -host today.

[423] Our question of the day comes from Tyler in Ohio.

[424] Tyler writes, I just turned 24.

[425] I live with my mom and I recently got out of prison.

[426] I have zero debt, but I have no direction in my life.

[427] I know being a felon is not holding me back from accomplishing my goals and I'm not using that as an excuse.

[428] I have no investments, no stocks, no nothing.

[429] I don't know where to start and I have zero guidance.

[430] I have a high school diploma, so I'm not a dropout.

[431] I just want to know what you would tell somebody in my position who is basically starting over.

[432] It's a good question, ma 'am.

[433] I'm going to assume that the felony, that he has served his time, this is done, and he is able to, the felony, particular felony that he has on his record now.

[434] he's able to go get a job.

[435] And so what I would start doing right now, I think what he needs to do more than anything is go work, work, work, work and work.

[436] And that might mean that he's got to start a law and business.

[437] That might mean he's got to start a business of his own.

[438] But I would just get to work and get to work and get to work.

[439] And I think you can sit down and spin and spin and spin, thinking and thinking and thinking and you're going to look up and be 25, me 26 and 27.

[440] If he was my friend, that's what I tell him.

[441] I'd say, you go get a job right now, start working.

[442] And then we'll start working on.

[443] the mentoring and finding people in your life, but you're going to find those people as you are out being productive out in the world.

[444] Yes, I completely agree.

[445] I'm trying to think, you know, it's not, it's not a question that we, you know, his situation is a bit unique in that he's got a felony, but basically we all start over every morning.

[446] And so what do you do when you're starting over?

[447] You know, I mean, what do you do at the beginning of the year for your new year's resolution and so um tyler one of the things i've done uh throughout my entire life is i've studied um people who became successful and um also study people who were the opposite who didn't become successful and that that starts pointing you towards several things okay um one thing it points you towards is you become who you hang around with and so start choosing a friend a group of ambitious go -getter people who are going somewhere with their life type people and that's who you run with.

[448] You don't run with a guy who gets off on Friday and smokes weed all weekend and tries to figure out how to not get back to work on Monday and end up anything but like him.

[449] So you're going to be you become who you hang around with.

[450] That's one thing.

[451] So choose your friends really careful.

[452] As a matter of fact, One piece of research says that over a course of a decade, you will earn within 15 % of the average of your 10 closest friends' income.

[453] So what your friends, you know, if you hang around people make 100 ,000, you'll probably have a high tendency to make 100 ,000.

[454] Hang around people making a half million, you're going to have a high tendency to run around.

[455] If you have run around people making minimum wage, you're going to end up making minimum wage.

[456] I mean, it's just, so number one, be careful.

[457] Number two, read, nonfiction books.

[458] constantly about subjects that you want to get better at, whether it's success, whether it's marriage, maybe later on marriage and parenting, read books in the area of the profession that you choose to move towards.

[459] Number three, if you aim at nothing, Ziegler used to say, you'll hit it every time.

[460] So you need to have goals.

[461] You need to say, okay, I'm 24.

[462] By the time I'm 30, I want to be doing it.

[463] XYZ and then what are the steps and the things you need to do to hit that goal my friend henry cloud calls that your desired future what is you does what is your desired future six years from today and then what are the things you have to do to become that what what classes have to be taken what do we do all those kinds of things and a great place to plug into people with integrity, people that are forward -thinking, people that are family -oriented, is in a good church.

[464] Now, is everybody in a church good people?

[465] No, that's why they need to be in church.

[466] But they're not.

[467] But sometimes there's some bad people there like there's anywhere else.

[468] But it's a great place to get young men and old men in your life that are of quality.

[469] and disciple and mentor and develop the spiritual side of your life as well, your values that you base your life on.

[470] And if you do those things, you're going to go a long way really, really fast.

[471] And the starting point of that is exactly what John said, it's get a job.

[472] But then get another job and then get another job and then keep moving in the direction that, you know, what have you got to do?

[473] You got to go be an apprentice to do this?

[474] Have you got to take a certification class to do this, you know, and then start moving in that direction.

[475] But something right now, if you think about being that person when you're 30, when you say that person and you know what that person is, I don't.

[476] Your pulse rate changes.

[477] You get a little bit excited and a smile breaks out on your face.

[478] Now go do that one.

[479] That's the one you need to go do.

[480] And for me, when I was his age, my, I was going to be a real estate mogul.

[481] I wanted to be big -time real estate guy.

[482] I wanted to own shopping centers and office buildings, and I was going to be a commercial real estate guy.

[483] And so I started buying real estate at 22 years old.

[484] Now, I went broke and lost everything because I did it wrong because I was stupid.

[485] But the end of the story is I ended up owning a whole bunch of real estate.

[486] You know, now today, although it's my second passion, not my primary, but at least it caused me to move in a direction that ultimately led me to this desk.

[487] So it's cool stuff, Tyler.

[488] It's a good question.

[489] And shows a lot of maturity.

[490] It does.

[491] I don't like he had some time of reflection when he's behind bars.

[492] And this is stemming from a call I took this morning on my show, Dave.

[493] There's going to be things that Tyler runs up against.

[494] Or I'll just tell you Tyler Direct.

[495] There's things you're going to run up against.

[496] You're going to really be moving and shaken and you're going to meet some people and they're going to be impressed by your work.

[497] Let's say you start doing electrical work and you keep moving and moving.

[498] And then your buddy's going to come take you out to lunch and say, I want you to come work for my company.

[499] And then you're going to get down the pipeline at the, company and then an HR director is going to flag your application because you have to check a box says I'm a felon and it's going to get you dropped out of the process.

[500] I don't want you to beat up young Tyler.

[501] I don't want you to go back.

[502] I want you to dust your sandals off and go on to the next thing and say, all right, we all have a great week and I appreciate the opportunity to move on with you.

[503] The more you let these past decisions haunt you into the future, it's not going to help anything in the future.

[504] It's just going to drag on you.

[505] Yeah, what's the saying you are not what you're the worst thing you have done you're not the worst thing you've ever done and if that becomes your identity no and there are going to this will cost you some opportunities oh yeah right it will and so let's move on bankruptcy that's right it costs you some opportunities for the rest of my life that i fill out an application and i don't fill out loan applications but there's all kinds of things that come up have you ever file bankruptcy you still have to click that box it doesn't say have you recently it doesn't say was it a decade ago it said ever and so forever i'm a bankrupt person No, I'm not.

[506] I'm a person that did that one time.

[507] I'm a guy that filed bankruptcy a long time ago.

[508] There's nothing bankrupt about me. That's exactly right.

[509] And so don't let this become, you're not a felon.

[510] Nope.

[511] You're a guy that committed a felony.

[512] You paid your debt to society and now you're back out there making a contribution.

[513] And so it's going to depend on you, though, to not let this thing haunt you forever.

[514] Yeah, that's true.

[515] That's good.

[516] That's good.

[517] Yeah, you reset your identity and you read your way.

[518] and you hang your way, who you hang with, and you get up and go to church on Sunday and you work your tail off Monday through Saturday, and you read and read and read and read, make it a goal to say how many books I've read, not how much Netflix I've binged.

[519] And that will change your whole life.

[520] Because I've never met a successful person that said they were successful because they knew every show on Netflix.

[521] Nope.

[522] And I do think, I used to be really against this, Dave, and I've watched some of my friends who didn't read a lot, especially when they're in college.

[523] And with how ubiquitous audiobooks are now, now there's super no excuse.

[524] Because some people, it's hard to sit there and read through a book, but man, you can put those headphones in and let's do a book and walk around your neighborhood.

[525] Hey, let me ask you something.

[526] Yeah.

[527] I have a different experience when I read than what I use audio books.

[528] Oh, much different.

[529] It activates parts of my brain that the audiobook doesn't actually.

[530] And I always read with the highlighter.

[531] And so, yeah, it's kinetic.

[532] It's an actual, it's an actual neuroscience thing.

[533] But something is better than nothing.

[534] So you need to do some of both.

[535] That's right.

[536] Don't only do audiobooks.

[537] It's right.

[538] But audiobooks are better than no books.

[539] Better than Netflix.

[540] 100%.

[541] Yeah.

[542] Sorry Netflix.

[543] They're not our sponsor.

[544] Can you tell?

[545] This is Dave Ramsey show.

[546] The Ramsey Show from the Netflix studios.

[547] Live from the headquarters of Ramsey Solutions.

[548] It's the Ramsey Show.

[549] where we help people build well, do work that they love, and create actual amazing relationships.

[550] Dr. John Deloney, Ramsey, Personality is my co -host.

[551] The phone number here is AAA -825 -5 -225.

[552] We're here to help you and tell you the truth because we love you.

[553] Alex is in Columbus.

[554] Hi, Alex.

[555] Welcome to the Ramsey Show.

[556] Good afternoon.

[557] How's everybody?

[558] Great, man. How can we help?

[559] All right.

[560] We've got an executor who is the youngest of three sons, all biologically related, and he has not put the house up for sale since he became the executor or had the will in his hands.

[561] And he's incommunicado completely.

[562] Any relatives he has talked to in the past, they want to know something about the house when you're going to sell it.

[563] And he says, none of your business, just stay out of it.

[564] so we're trying to you who is this how are they kin to you he's my brother okay so you have three there's three brothers your youngest brother was appointed executor of the estate the will do you have the will no he's got it locked up in a strong box in his basement do you know what it says all we have is his now ex -wife was sure she pretty saw pretty sure she all three names as equals.

[565] Okay, so he's just basically trying to steal the house.

[566] How long have you all been going on?

[567] All right, at least since mom died in March of 2020.

[568] Okay, so for five years, four years?

[569] Yeah, four and a half years, yeah.

[570] Okay, so he lived there free, and he won't talk to anybody.

[571] Nobody's living there.

[572] Nobody's living there.

[573] Yeah, it's been unoccupied all this time, no taxes up.

[574] been paid until, I guess, the county finally figured out that we can send it to Bernie, but his wife, now ex -wife, has paid the $40 ,000 in back taxes.

[575] So now the house is still stuck.

[576] We need to force him to get this over with.

[577] The house is doing nothing other than my best guess is storing his big boy toys in the garage.

[578] So, well, there's an answer to the question, but before, I'm just curious, what's wrong with him?

[579] Boy, we're trying to wonder.

[580] He stopped talking to me probably 12 years ago.

[581] I know, but what's wrong with him?

[582] He was successfully self -employed and finally that dwindled because of the market.

[583] He went to work for a really good company in the area.

[584] I'm sure he's got a good pension and good Social Security.

[585] Yeah, but that's not what's wrong with him.

[586] He's crazy.

[587] I know.

[588] Why did mom pick him?

[589] Let's see.

[590] The older brother, me, my life has been a whirlwind of marriages that failed.

[591] The brother in the middle, he was a little bit of a rebel.

[592] And so I never had kids.

[593] Mama's boy was at home taking care of business, so she put him.

[594] Pretty much, yeah.

[595] Okay.

[596] All right.

[597] Well, I mean, the only answer to your question is one of two things, forget it and walk away, or hire an attorney and go before the probate court, which is the court that dictates wills, and they will force him to get the will out of the lockbox, and they will force him then to execute on the will.

[598] And if the will says equal parts, they'll force a sale of the property.

[599] Okay, but there's a whole lot of expenses as far as...

[600] Oh, yeah, you're going to have legal fees involved.

[601] Sure.

[602] Oh, yeah, but we've got lawn fees, snow fees, and, you know, we're probably just going to have to eat those, right?

[603] I'm sorry, these are liens on the house from the city doing the work?

[604] No, no, it was all private contractors.

[605] Okay, have they taken liens on the house?

[606] No. Who's paying it?

[607] Bernie was.

[608] Who's Bernie?

[609] The youngest brother.

[610] Okay.

[611] So he's been paying to keep it.

[612] the house up?

[613] Maintenance -wise taxes.

[614] He never paid.

[615] I got it.

[616] Okay, so what's that got to do with dragging him into court?

[617] He got the yard cut.

[618] So what?

[619] Yeah, but that's coming out of our portions.

[620] We don't like that idea.

[621] Yeah, maybe.

[622] Maybe not.

[623] Right now your portion is zero.

[624] Yeah.

[625] I know, but with him being executor, he's going to say, no, we're splitting it three ways for the 10 years that I've been in control.

[626] you're creating a story he's not been in control for 10 years he's been in control for four years uh yeah so mom was in a nursing home for five years prior yeah but that doesn't mean he's that that's his problem okay he's the executor it didn't become your problem until four and a half years ago when she died right yeah now can the courts hold the uh beneficiaries that are not executors responsible for what?

[627] I don't know for not getting this through for not twisting his arm no no there's not anything the judge is going to look at this and go Bernie son sell the house it's going to be pretty simple okay now since this is so now are you supposed to file these wills within what 30 60 90 days yeah yeah all right so now it's not invalid go get a lawyer oh definitely Alex, just go get a lawyer.

[628] They'll tell you every bit of this, okay?

[629] But you spend nine million calories analyzing this over the last four and a half years, and you've done nothing about it.

[630] Time to be a man of action.

[631] Either drop this, no more rent -free in your head, and walk away and forget it, or get a lawyer this week.

[632] Get a lawyer.

[633] file something next week wake old Bernie up time to give him a little bit of a cold shower here go to Walgreens today and get a yellow pad and write down all of these questions that you have what about this and what about this write them all down and ask the lawyer ask the lawyer every single question you could possibly imagine which by the way 85 % of them are you creating stories in the future trying to solve in the present, which is a waste of your time.

[634] Yeah.

[635] But go write them all down, get them out of your body, and go solve this problem.

[636] Yep.

[637] I think you're trying to avoid the fight.

[638] So I think, like Dave said, uh, walk away.

[639] Drop it or do it.

[640] Or quit staying in the middle.

[641] Stay in the middle is a sewer patch.

[642] I mean, you're standing neck deep in the septic tank spiritually, man. Get out, man. Yeah.

[643] It stinks where you are.

[644] Get out.

[645] Get out.

[646] Get out and walk away or get out.

[647] and sue old burn knee one of the two i don't care either one's fine with me you'd have good reason to do either uh but but sitting where you've been sitting for four and a half years let me tell you if it's me guys here's how this goes you got four and a half minutes not four and a half years well maybe maybe maybe four and a half months okay but not four and a half years i mean mom just died right i'll give you a minute okay but but you know you're gonna the whole let me tell you what an executor is.

[648] It's one who executes.

[649] That's where the word comes from.

[650] They are not in charge.

[651] They do not get to make up new terms of the will.

[652] They take the will and they have to do exactly what it says.

[653] And if you don't like what it says, be mad at the dead person, not the executor.

[654] Because the executor's job is to execute what the piece of paper says.

[655] They're not not doing this.

[656] So Bernie's getting ready to execute because you're getting ready to execute on him.

[657] Here we go, baby.

[658] That's how this works.

[659] This is the Ramsey show.

[660] One of the questions I get all the time is, which life insurance company should I use for my term life policy?

[661] A valid question, since there are hundreds of companies out there with rates all over the place and riders and add -ons that are simply a waste of money.

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[668] Dr. Chondaloney -Ramsey personality is my co -host today.

[669] Thank you for joining us, America.

[670] We're glad you're here.

[671] Frank is in Miami.

[672] Hi, Frank.

[673] Welcome to the Ramsey show.

[674] Frank, did I push the button?

[675] Let me try again.

[676] I did push it wrong.

[677] Hey, Frank, how are you?

[678] Hello, Dave.

[679] Hello, John.

[680] Thank you so much.

[681] for picking up my call today.

[682] Sure.

[683] How can we help?

[684] So, to give you some context, right, me and my wife, we're pretty much almost done with Baby Step number three, and we want to move into Baby Step 3B, right?

[685] So we want to save some money so we can buy, and finally, you know, buy a house for ourselves.

[686] Right now, we are making after taxes around 67 a year.

[687] So if we want to follow, right, of course, the Ramsey method, we definitely need to increase our income since, you know, as we live in Miami, it's a really high cost of living city.

[688] And I want to make sure, you know, that we stick to, you know, 25 % home take up so we can, you know, make sure we own the house and the house doesn't own us.

[689] So I was telling my wife that she is currently working as a cook in a kitchen in a Mexican place.

[690] So she's making 16 an hour.

[691] I've been telling her, you know, you, you, you I know you can make more than that.

[692] You're great.

[693] You know, even the people at your word, they say, you know, they recognize how good you are, but they just don't pay you to match how good you are.

[694] But whenever I try to have that conversation with her, you know, maybe you should look for another job, something that, you know, pays you a little bit better because you can make more with your abilities.

[695] She's always, you know, like she doesn't want to, like, or maybe, like, she doesn't want to get pressure about it.

[696] Like, and, you know, it's been this back and forth, and I don't know if maybe, I'm in the wrong by trying to, like, incest or pressure her into, you know, getting a better paying possession.

[697] Right now, I make 27 an hour, and now I'm in my job.

[698] They do yearly reviews so they can, if they give me a raise each year.

[699] So what is it that she could be doing, that she would make more?

[700] So right now, well, we both have a degree in computer science.

[701] She told me that she didn't like it in the end, and that's perfectly fine.

[702] And so I've been telling her, like, you know, if you want to do like a certification, or maybe if you will, if you really like it, like working in a kitchen, I can, we can get you maybe through, like, culinary school, something like that.

[703] So you can, you know, maybe work in a higher paying possession.

[704] And she has a big, when I tell her there's, like, options, she's like, you know, they're so nice.

[705] Okay, let me look into it.

[706] But then a few weeks passes, a few months, and, you know, nothing, she's not doing anything about it.

[707] And, you know, I kind of feel bad.

[708] Does she work for her family?

[709] you say?

[710] No, no, no. She works for that for a Mexican restaurant.

[711] Oh, it's not family at all.

[712] No, not family at all, no. Okay.

[713] All right.

[714] So your question is what?

[715] So I'm at a point that I don't know if I should continue insisting and pressure because it's costing, you know, some discussions between the both of us, like, uh, because she's saying like, you know, maybe I'm like, I never, I never, I'm never enough, you know, I never make enough based on you because, like, recently, she only started working, like, around a year ago when our daughter got into school.

[716] So first I was like, okay, you should know, now that our daughter is in school, you should get a job, right?

[717] With the cost of living and everything, then she got a position.

[718] And, you know, I let her on that position for a while.

[719] And now that I'm having this conversation, like, if you want to buy a house, we need to increase our income, you know, she's saying, like, you know, I'm never, you know, doing enough based on your standards.

[720] And, you know, we get into this kind of conversations.

[721] So, you know, I just want to see.

[722] Yeah, because it sounds to her like that you are trying to just get more milk out of the cow, and she's the cow.

[723] She feels pretty used up here.

[724] Instead of you positioning this of, honey, you are worth more than this.

[725] They are not paying you what you're worth.

[726] I want you to see you succeed for you.

[727] Not we need more money.

[728] You need to give more milk.

[729] No, I understand where you're coming from.

[730] man and I do know I know it sounds bad 100 % of what you said was about what you could get and she heard you loud and clear does she want to be at us does she want to stay at home be a mom i think at the beginning that's what she wanted but then when we move here into miami uh you know the reality of the cause because we have family here that's why we move here uh the cost of living here you know catched up to us so that's why she then got a job and you know we both one to get a house.

[731] We don't want to get one bad enough to get a better job.

[732] Yeah.

[733] So let me ask you, like if I'm in your position and I've had the conversation and my wife says this is what I can handle or this is this is what I, my capacity.

[734] I can work in this restaurant and I come home and I got to do the all the domestic stuff at home.

[735] I can, this is where I'm at.

[736] What has kept to you from going to double and triple and quadruple your salary?

[737] I've been trying to do it.

[738] The job that I'm at, I I got that just a few months ago.

[739] I got a race from the previous position.

[740] I was making 20 an hour, now I'm making 27 an hour.

[741] But I understand.

[742] I might come out as being, you know, just pushing it.

[743] I think that's what she's hearing, and I think that's why you're getting a pushback.

[744] If she was hearing that you wanted this for your goals, look, you say you want a new house.

[745] I'd like to have a new house.

[746] I also would like to see you get paid more, not because I want more money, but because I think you're worth more and I don't think that I think you could I think you make do something just as fun and make twice the money whenever uh Frank whatever let me let me say this this is not about money and this is not about a job it's not about a house this is about a husband and a wife with two different pictures of what success looks like relational success marriage success raising a kid like what this picture is going to look like anytime a couple get stuck like this I always want them to go out and completely shake up the snow globe and you've got family there i've got family on the other side of the country it's okay don't wish i could see them more absolutely but this was what was best for my family at this particular moment in history and so i want you all to start there do we want to live in miami because if we choose to live in miami even though we have these benefits to be around family here's what it costs us and if those benefits are worth more than home ownership for the next five or six or seven years to do this the right way then so be it number two do we have to buy a house number three what's your picture for all these things what does it all look like and let's get back on the same page there and then we get to the dollars and cents and job and what the way dave said it is right honey i'm tired of seeing how hard you work and hearing how great you are and i can't stand to look at those managers that aren't paying you what you're worth and you can choose to stay there for any number of reasons, but I just want you to know I see more worth than you in you when it comes out of the money you're making, your coworkers do, the people who patron the restaurant do, and we're going to have that conversation, not, hey, you need to make more money.

[747] You can go make more money, go make more money, go make more money, man, that's just a recipe for burning out, for burning out.

[748] Yeah, she's tired of hearing it and she told you she's tired of hearing it.

[749] Yeah, reset your pictures for the future and then and say what must be true about us to hit these pictures.

[750] And then that picture is Miami, maybe, house ownership, maybe.

[751] What has to be true to be a homeowner in Miami?

[752] Well, it's not $16 an hour.

[753] You and I both know that.

[754] So these things are incongruent.

[755] You can't sit and say, I want to be a homeowner in Miami, and I'm only going to make $16 an hour.

[756] It won't work.

[757] You can't do it.

[758] It's an expensive city.

[759] And that's when you get to behavior as a language.

[760] And if someone says, I really want a house, I really want a house, but I don't want to get another job.

[761] Then what they're telling you is, I don't really want a house.

[762] And that's okay.

[763] That's okay.

[764] But let's just call a spade, a spade, and let's move on.

[765] Yeah.

[766] Let's dial in exactly what is this, what this is.

[767] And so.

[768] And men often get stuck in their, in like, the spreadsheet part of it.

[769] Like, here's the job.

[770] Here's how much money's going to cost.

[771] We can get this house.

[772] And there's a bigger picture to that.

[773] So sit down and clear the deck and let's work it through.

[774] Yeah.

[775] It's important to reset the picture and be aligned on it.

[776] I think I go on with that.

[777] That's the thing.

[778] And I can just tell listening to you, you're very ambitious.

[779] You've got big goals.

[780] You want to do these things.

[781] And when you start talking to her about all of that, she feels like she's a method you're using to get there, not like you care about her.

[782] Well said.

[783] That's how she feels.

[784] I'm just listening to it.

[785] I'm just an old guy's been married a long time.

[786] That's all.

[787] even a good therapist like Dr. John here.

[788] So, anyway, this is The Ramsey Show.

[789] Dr. John Deloney -Ramsey Personality is my co -host today in the lobby of Ramsey Solutions.

[790] On the debt -free stage, Colin and Leslie are with us.

[791] Hey, guys, how are you?

[792] Hi, Dave, how are you?

[793] Welcome, welcome.

[794] Where do you all live?

[795] We are from Cincinnati, Ohio.

[796] Fun.

[797] Welcome to Nashville.

[798] And on the debt -free stage, how much have you paid off?

[799] We have paid off a combined amount.

[800] of 89 ,000.

[801] Very good.

[802] And how long did this take?

[803] About 25 months.

[804] Good for you.

[805] And your range of income during that time?

[806] We took, I think, starting around 78 ,000 take home and ended at 108.

[807] Cool.

[808] What do you all do for a living?

[809] I am a regulatory coordinator for a clinical trial company.

[810] And I'm in industrial automation.

[811] Okay.

[812] Wow.

[813] Good for you.

[814] What kind of debt was this 89 ,000?

[815] $5 ,000 was credit card and then $85 ,000.

[816] before was student loans.

[817] Oh, almost all student loans.

[818] Yeah.

[819] Absolutely.

[820] So who brought the student loans into the marriage?

[821] It was me. Oh, okay.

[822] Yeah.

[823] All right.

[824] And how long have you two been married?

[825] It will be three years here in November.

[826] Okay.

[827] So shortly after marriage, you look up and say, we're attacking this monster.

[828] I don't want Sally Mae in my house anymore.

[829] Correct.

[830] Yeah.

[831] What happened?

[832] What woke you up?

[833] Well, so, yeah, it started actually a few months before we got married.

[834] We found out we were pregnant with our first son We were also about two hours away from each other We were long distance at the time And I just kind of had a basically come to Jesus moment I was like, I don't want to do this anymore And not paying anymore And so we just, I did not want to bring our son into that So we had a sit down and we're like, let's just take this out on So we got married the first month after that We started paying and it's went like that.

[835] Game on, huh?

[836] Yeah, basically.

[837] How'd you get connected to the Ramsey stuff?

[838] It was all him.

[839] Yeah, it was from my family.

[840] I grew up in a Ramsey household, went to, or did the FPU class through high school, I guess, whatever that Crickham was called.

[841] So I kind of grew up in and around it and knew that's what I wanted to do with our family when we started that.

[842] So, you know, we had a lot of support coming from our side of the family, my side of the family with everything going on with paying off the family.

[843] that so it was awesome so Leslie he sits down and goes hey I know how to do this I got this what'd you say um I said okay you're gonna have to help me I was a little stubborn kind of had the mindset of if I've got the money in my bank account I'll just pay for it um no budget what's a budget I just pay whatever comes in and that left my account at zero every month not the best way to live yeah we definitely we there's definitely some some good arguments around finances with our, you know, the first six months of our marriage.

[844] But, you know, I think ultimately the progress that we saw very early on and what that was doing kept it, they kept the ball, you know, moving down the court with us.

[845] Yeah, it's hard to keep doing something that's not working.

[846] No, correct.

[847] Yeah.

[848] Good for y 'all.

[849] I'm proud of you.

[850] Thank you.

[851] I bet your family's proud.

[852] Oh, yeah.

[853] Yeah, setting up the family tree.

[854] That's what's kind of been my motivating factor and why to be able to do this and provide for them.

[855] It's a good why.

[856] A new baby is a good why.

[857] So how has this adventure helped you as a young, new married couple, new parents?

[858] I think it just helped us be more mindful about, you know, what's important, you know, what we want to just bring into our family in general.

[859] And it just setting a good foundation for a marriage, too, was the biggest thing.

[860] What was your biggest fight?

[861] groceries yeah I think it was I was the nerd of the budget the free spirit over here and so I think you know having those conversations on a monthly basis do just adjust the you know for the price of eggs going up 50 cents every single month it seemed like so you know being a little bit being able to you know counter her offer there with something that was going to work out and serve us best in the end so very good Well done, you two.

[862] Very well done.

[863] Good stuff.

[864] So when people ask, okay, you're how old?

[865] How old are you two?

[866] We're both 26.

[867] And you're 100 % dead free.

[868] Way to go.

[869] When people ask, how did you do that?

[870] What do you tell them the key to getting out of debt is?

[871] Just do it.

[872] It's going to be hard.

[873] There's going to be rough days, but you just have to do it.

[874] Yeah, I think communication for us was key.

[875] You know, sticking to the plan that we had in place, being able to have conversations around it and not, you know, fly off the handle at each other.

[876] be able to talk about it and say, all right, this is what we decided we want to do.

[877] We're not going to try to keep up with the Joneses and worry about everything else going on around us, just focus on our family unit and what we've got going on and what we're working towards ultimately.

[878] And y 'all both make a good salary in some pretty, like, cool, new industries.

[879] What's it like rolling up to work not in the same car as everybody else?

[880] Well, so we did actually have a car accident in October of 22.

[881] were, our family car was totaled.

[882] And then through insurance and some of our savings, we were actually able to cash flow and buy cash.

[883] I used 2011 Lincoln.

[884] So by no means, not the new and fancy, but it makes her feel a little special.

[885] I blend in a little bit to my coworker.

[886] I blended.

[887] So, yeah, we don't think that there's something special about what you drive or it works for what you need.

[888] so yeah way to go you too very well done very well done how's it feel to be free just nice and calm like at peace i think it's the biggest thing yeah i think when something does pop up it's not a scramble to figure out you know how are we going to pay for this what's going on you know we had there's a sense of calmness like you said to be able to say right we'll take this in stride and deal with it so i think that it's so weird when you get out of debt and have an emergency fund than hardly anything's an emergency.

[889] Yes.

[890] And like your life's like a country song before that.

[891] Everything can go wrong, you know?

[892] Mm -hmm.

[893] Well, that feeling y 'all just described, I don't know that that ROI is calculated anywhere.

[894] People always want to know what's the best return on this and what about this, what y 'all just described.

[895] We're a young married couple with two young little ones.

[896] The last thing we need is wondering how we're going to pay for stuff or when this bill is due or when this 30 -day entry fee turns into we don't have any of that we just got peace in the house yeah and y 'all have no peace in your house because you got two little ones yeah we've got yeah two little ones this is carter all right good for y 'all and how old's carter he is too all right oh and a brand new yeah and how old is ever new brand new one month yeah oh baby everett all right very good beautiful fun fun fun well you guys are heroes you changed your family tree thank you those two little boys I have no idea what and dad did for them.

[897] They sacrificed and poured on it, got it done in 25 months.

[898] $89 ,000 paid off in 25 months, making 78 to 108.

[899] Carter and Everett's mom and dad, Colin and Leslie did it.

[900] Count it down.

[901] Let's hear a debt -free scream.

[902] Three, two, one, we're debt -free.

[903] Yes.

[904] Way to go.

[905] you guys nothing but sunshine man that's going places right there wow you know how rich they're going to be oh man unbelievable and you know how much they don't care about that it's not what's driving them no they just want they just want that piece that those two little boys to be okay man you know it's perfect very very well done man that's incredible folks if you'll live like no one else later you can live and give like no one else you can change your family tree you can take the steps to do it you are in control no one in Washington is in control they think they are but they're not you are in control you talking to you you are in control make different choices change your behavior patterns change your habit patterns increase your communication with your spouse some of the communication might be loud but increase all of the communication with your spouse and get this done people those two right there are a perfect example of how this works very very well done good work Colin and Leslie your heroes congratulations congratulations we're so proud of you here at Ramsey way to go this is the Ramsey show dr. John Deloney Ramsey personality is my co -host today thank you for joining us America selling or buying a house in this weird world right now whoa not going on it's tough and if you're going to do either sell or buy in this weird world.

[906] You need a pro in your corner.

[907] The Ramsey trusted program is the only way to find an agent you can trust to keep you on track because we trust them.

[908] The reason we trust them is all the due diligence we've done to figure out if they actually know what the flip they're doing.

[909] They didn't get their license last week.

[910] They didn't sell their first house on you.

[911] That's a bad idea.

[912] It's your largest freaking asset.

[913] Your Uncle Charlie who's never sold a house before doesn't need to be your listing agent.

[914] Think about it.

[915] That's dumb.

[916] Okay.

[917] You need to get a pro in your corner so we'll send you some of the top agents in your area who we trust because they're high octane high protein get or done people it's that simple go to ramsie trusted uh find a ramsay trusted real estate agent for free at ramsysolutions dot com slash agent alba is with us in orlando florida hey alba how are you hi mr ramsie hi mr deloney i'm Thank you for taking my call.

[918] Is it Alba or Alba?

[919] Thank you for asking.

[920] It's Alba, like Jessica Alba.

[921] Alba.

[922] Okay, Alba.

[923] Okay, good.

[924] How can we help?

[925] Thank you.

[926] I have both of your books.

[927] They're amazing.

[928] So my question is, how can someone stay motivated and baby step two when you deal with clinical depression and bipolarness?

[929] Essentially, that takes your motivation.

[930] Tell me about how it affects your motivation.

[931] Well, perfect example.

[932] was today.

[933] All weekend, I woke up at 6 a .m. to start doing my atomic habit of getting up early and motivated for work.

[934] I got to work and I couldn't get out of the car to go to work.

[935] So I had to call in sick because I was just stuck with fear.

[936] So I'm always, gazelle in time, super excited, super frugal.

[937] All my friends know that.

[938] But then I go into a depressive slump where nothing matters and then it's just hard to get back on track.

[939] So one of the things I'm going to challenge you on, or number one, I want to high five you for trying to get as far upstream as you can to come up with some daily rituals, some daily routines that are going to help you be successful.

[940] Good on you.

[941] You've been working on this a long time, haven't you?

[942] Since I was 16 and I'm 30 now.

[943] Yeah, I'm proud of you.

[944] That's a lot of work.

[945] I want you to never, ever care about motivation ever again.

[946] because motivation comes and goes and for someone who struggles with bipolar disorder motivation can be a really terrible master right you can lead you into some pretty heavy places and so often the things I'm not motivated to exercise I'm not motivated to eat right but I know those are the things that are going to help me down the road and so I make my list and I do what I can on that list And then are you heading off into a low season?

[947] Yeah, I'm kind of going into mania.

[948] I wanted to reopen my business out of nowhere.

[949] Okay.

[950] So, yeah.

[951] How long do your low seasons usually last?

[952] They could last two months about, and then I go into a few weeks of just kind of bad decision making.

[953] Okay.

[954] So one of the things I've seen people be really successful over the years when I've walked alongside folks in your same situation is they have people that they trust and have some really high hurdles for themselves.

[955] What does that mean?

[956] That means they may give their debit card or their, I don't know, their Amazon login to somebody that they trust because they can be irresponsible with spending during some of the manic seasons or they have a boss or a supervisor that they talk through a little bit more than I would recommend someone to talk to their boss about, hey, this is where I struggle.

[957] and I may go on a downhill slope for a while, but here's what I'm going to do to manage the situation.

[958] Here's I'm going to get my work done.

[959] Yeah, I have that relationship, thankfully.

[960] And who knows you guys, like, I appreciate it.

[961] So the thing I want you do, if you're waiting on motivation, motivation comes and goes, I wasn't motivated.

[962] I don't have bipolar disorder.

[963] I was not motivated to exercise this morning.

[964] But I knew, coming off the weekend of travel I had, if I didn't do that this morning, it was going to cost me a whole week.

[965] So I do the things upstream.

[966] For you, that's more challenging, which means you got to get more resources and more support and more people around you.

[967] And then you've got to do the next right thing on your list.

[968] Does that make sense?

[969] Yeah, yeah.

[970] Just when it, man, it gets scary because, like, today I live in Florida.

[971] I wanted to drive to Texas, and I've done that before.

[972] It moved there.

[973] Or I wanted to reopen my business yesterday.

[974] So it's, you know, I don't have credit cards.

[975] I don't have anything like that.

[976] So I don't go crazy shopping.

[977] It's more like drastic life choices.

[978] Sure.

[979] Are you taking your meds?

[980] I guess that's kind of scary.

[981] Yeah, I am Okay, good on you I'm proud of you for that Thank you I'm proud of you for that Don't stop taking them Okay, good for you And did you drive to Texas today?

[982] No, I drove south instead And visited my mom Okay, did you Did you start a business today?

[983] No, I didn't Can I celebrate that with you?

[984] Yeah Because 10 years ago you would have Yeah And listen, this tells me That's progress You felt something In fact, you were motivated Do something you didn't do what you're motivated do you're the opposite you drove to see your mom that's a safe place for you that's one of those accountability partners i was talking about you felt like starting a business and going and going and you exhaled and you did the next right thing i'm proud of you that's a big deal thank you this is what growth feels like and it's not fun and it's unpleasant at the time yeah and here's what's interesting um we are more we're celebrating the fact that you didn't do it and you're hanging out on I wanted to do it.

[985] Yeah.

[986] Yeah, I want you to hang out on you didn't.

[987] Yeah, that's pretty cool.

[988] That's pretty cool.

[989] I think it's a big place to hang out.

[990] I like what John's saying there.

[991] This awesome teammate of ours brought this box.

[992] It's not even a box.

[993] It's basically like a trunk of donuts this morning and put them in the middle of the office.

[994] What kind of a devil worshiper would do that?

[995] I mean, she was pretty awesome.

[996] But this was, of course, this was my, I declare moment.

[997] This is my, like, I'm going to get back on track this morning.

[998] And this was, I walk into the offices, but they're there.

[999] There's a temptation from hell right there in the middle of the house.

[1000] And they weren't just regular donuts.

[1001] These are like handcrafted Nashville unicorn dust donuts.

[1002] But here's the deal.

[1003] I wanted to.

[1004] And I did the next right thing.

[1005] Right?

[1006] I'm going to go look for the box.

[1007] I know it is.

[1008] That's what I'm saying.

[1009] Don't do it, Dave.

[1010] Don't do it, Dave.

[1011] Step away from the donut.

[1012] Let me say this.

[1013] And can I give you some hard truth, some hard love?

[1014] Yeah, please.

[1015] Okay.

[1016] You know your challenges and you know the things that set you off and you know when I'm starting to get manic and you know I'm starting to get in a season of being pretty low.

[1017] None of that is an excuse to blow Baby Step 2.

[1018] Those things are a context.

[1019] They're not an excuse.

[1020] Okay.

[1021] Your mission in life is not to, is not, not to say, well, I got this thing so I can just do whatever I want.

[1022] Your mission in life is to say, I've got these challenges and all of us have challenges.

[1023] You've got some significant ones.

[1024] And so how far upstream do I need to go to put hurdles in my way so that when those challenges are right in my face, I'm not going to make the next wrong choice for me and my future self.

[1025] And I always want people to remember.

[1026] It's a context, not an excuse.

[1027] I'm an anxious guy.

[1028] I like to count locks.

[1029] That means I got to start counting five minutes early because I still got to be at work on time because Dave says to be here.

[1030] And so all of us have challenges.

[1031] We just have, it's our job to do the next right thing.

[1032] There you go.

[1033] Well done.

[1034] Well done.

[1035] I'm proud of you, Alba.

[1036] That's good on you.

[1037] So someone that actually has bipolar, which apparently she really does.

[1038] Sure.

[1039] I mean, And it might be one of the things that on financial crisis side, I have seen, of all the different psychological things you can run into, I've seen that in here with crisis more often than anything else except addiction.

[1040] Addiction is number one reason to put you in financial trouble.

[1041] But bipolar, she's really walking a road that's full of mines.

[1042] Yeah, it's very challenging.

[1043] From minefield.

[1044] And so it can be done, though.

[1045] and the other thing is that just to not accept it as an identity and say this is a you know she's come a long way she's got everything I dialed in she knows exactly what's going on she's intellectually managing her way through this which is what you've got to do and you've got to have progress it's not a thing it's not an excuse it's context like you said and there needs to be continual progress in that or you've got somebody walking with you that's doing it wrong And I want you to call somebody and celebrate your wins like today.

[1046] Yep, that was a win.

[1047] Right, you did it.

[1048] Two wins.

[1049] Two wins.

[1050] Proud of you.

[1051] Didn't open a business.

[1052] Didn't drive to Texas.

[1053] This is The Ramsey Show.

[1054] Live from the headquarters of Ramsey Solutions, it's the Ramsey Show, where we help people build wealth, do work that they love and create actual amazing relationships.

[1055] Dr. John Deloney, Ramsey personality is my.

[1056] my co -host today.

[1057] Thank you for joining us, America.

[1058] It is a free call, and some say the advice is worth exactly what you pay for it.

[1059] The numbers, AAA -825 -5 -2 -2 -25.

[1060] Wes is with us.

[1061] Wes is in Fort Worth, Texas.

[1062] Hi, Wes.

[1063] How are you?

[1064] Good.

[1065] How are you?

[1066] Better than I deserve, sir.

[1067] How can I help?

[1068] Honor to speak with you both.

[1069] You too, sir.

[1070] Hey, I'm not ready to begin investing yet, but when that time comes, I want to get past a moral hang up with earning interest that I have had for a while based on some of the things I read in the Bible.

[1071] And if I can't move away from that persuasion, I just want to know what direction I should take to invest for the future.

[1072] I got you.

[1073] Okay.

[1074] So the only segments of scripture that talk about not loaning for, not gaining interest, are in the Old Testament, correct?

[1075] It's Levitical law.

[1076] It's Levitical law.

[1077] Are you Jewish or are you Jewish or are you Christian?

[1078] No, I'm just a Protestant Christian, but I'm mainly looking at Psalm 15, verse 5.

[1079] Yeah.

[1080] He that put us not out his money to usury nor take its reward against the innocent.

[1081] He that do it these things shall never be moved.

[1082] Yep.

[1083] Okay.

[1084] So that's Old Testament, okay?

[1085] And there's a bunch of Levitical law that says the same thing.

[1086] If you go through Leviticus, you can find similar passages just to help you, or hurt you, or whatever.

[1087] Further, deal.

[1088] And so most evangelical Protestant Christians are of the doctrinal stance that we do not follow Old Testament dietary laws, meaning I eat shrimp, I eat lobster, and it's expressly forbidden in Levitical law.

[1089] Okay?

[1090] And I charge interest if I were to loan money.

[1091] I don't loan money, but if I did, I would charge interest.

[1092] And I would pay interest or gain on an investment without any fault at all because I'm under the New Testament under Christ.

[1093] And I don't follow Levitical law on anything.

[1094] And I don't follow.

[1095] And that Psalm is referring to that.

[1096] That's part of the answer.

[1097] And that's really the big answer.

[1098] There's another sub -strata, if you really want to get into the Bible study carefully on it.

[1099] Usory is not technically a biblical term.

[1100] It's technically an old English term, and it comes from what you're reading.

[1101] There's the King James Version, agreed?

[1102] Yes.

[1103] And so that's an...

[1104] I just read that in case there was a copy.

[1105] That's okay, but 1600s was when that was translated, and it was translated in old English.

[1106] And so there's a lot of cool, old English words in the Bible, the King James version of the Bible.

[1107] But so if you go under that and you read the Hebrew, what usury means in the Hebrew is not to charge interest.

[1108] It's to charge excessive interest.

[1109] And so we have, for instance, in Tennessee, we have usury laws to keep people from charging excessive interest.

[1110] And when people are, for instance, going to pass.

[1111] legislation in a state to stop payday lenders or six and eight hundred percent interest they usually fall under some kind of a usury law or an exemption from a usury so usury in modern terms is not interest it is excessive interest so that's a substrata of the study on this but the overarching strata is I eat lobster I don't I'm not bound to the dietary laws of the old test and I'm not bound to the I don't have to stone an adulter I'm not bound to the the Levitical law and and because of Christ because in the New Testament those things are fulfilled in Christ and so I'm walking in a liberty of freedom and that's a doctrinal stance and that's a that's the belief of most evangelicals or Protestant Christians for that matter Catholics would fall into that category as well.

[1112] The only time you might run into this would be certain segments of Judaism where they're Old Testament only.

[1113] And for instance, I've got a friend who's an Orthodox Jew who is a great friend of mine and Dr. Rabbi Daniel Lapin.

[1114] And he stays, he's kosher.

[1115] He stays exactly kosher because he's Orthodox Jew.

[1116] And that's so he's maintaining that dietary law.

[1117] And it's beyond shellfish, believe me. But the, um, it's, um, it's, um, it's, um, it's, um, um, it's, um, but it's fun it's cool but that that's a good discussion so you're going to be fine biblically um and uh as far as you know most teachers would tell you that i mean you may find some some some sect of christianity somewhere that would tell you you can't but i i've been studying this for 30 years through the lens of scripture and i can't find anybody that's credible out there that says it's biblically wrong to charge interest excessive interest yes Take advantage of the poor, yes, take advantage of a widow, yes.

[1118] Kick people when they're down, yes, you know, all of that.

[1119] And so that's where, like, your payday lenders get in a biblical squeeze, not much less a moral squeeze.

[1120] But it's a great question, good discussion, and I'll tell you who else is who cannot receive interest under any circumstances.

[1121] They cannot receive interest is a law -keeping Muslim.

[1122] The Koran expressly forbids it, and you have.

[1123] have to avoid it, period.

[1124] And so they can do things where you get gain or something goes up in value if you're in the Muslim tradition and you're following the Koran to the letter, but you cannot open a high -yield savings account at the bank.

[1125] Nope, not a chance.

[1126] Can't do it.

[1127] And so it's interesting to study these things.

[1128] And the different, I guess, religions is the right way of saying it.

[1129] It's not a tradition.

[1130] It's a religion.

[1131] and what their what their book says you know that's fascinating um yeah i'll have to think on that i had a couple of guys that are were devout Muslims that came through some of our coaching and training because they wanted to take the ramsi christian biblical concepts to the muslim world and so we had this wonderful discussion uh what lined up with the koran and what doesn't But the Koran hates debt, by the way.

[1132] All ancient traditions hate that.

[1133] Yeah, that's true.

[1134] That's true.

[1135] That's true.

[1136] That's true.

[1137] Mortgage is French for death pledge.

[1138] Wow.

[1139] Yeah, that's actually where that word comes from.

[1140] So the etymology is just something else.

[1141] Yeah, it's very interesting.

[1142] Very interesting.

[1143] Yeah, I got asked then a deposition if I eat shrimp by a lawyer, trying to prove that I wasn't a real Christian.

[1144] Oh, got you.

[1145] Yeah, yeah.

[1146] And it was like, yeah, honey, you don't understand how this works.

[1147] But, yeah.

[1148] So you get to have a doctrinal lesson right here in a middle of a deposition.

[1149] There we go.

[1150] So, anyway, all right, Brianna is with us in Phoenix, Arizona.

[1151] Hi, Brianna.

[1152] How are you?

[1153] Hi, I'm doing good.

[1154] How are you?

[1155] Better than I deserve.

[1156] What's up?

[1157] So I...

[1158] You know what?

[1159] I goofed.

[1160] I didn't look down at my clock.

[1161] That music playing says that a guy that's been doing radio 30 years shouldn't have picked up your call because he's stupid.

[1162] But I'll be right back to you after I go make a little money.

[1163] This is the Ramsey show.

[1164] Dr. John Deloney -Ramsey personality is my co -host today.

[1165] Thank you for joining us.

[1166] Brianna is with us in Phoenix, Arizona.

[1167] Hi, Brianna.

[1168] What's up?

[1169] Hi, so I'm 20 right now.

[1170] And last year when I turned 19, my dad gave me $10 ,000 to go buy a car with.

[1171] And I went to the dealership, and instead of buying a $10 ,000 car, I decided that I actually wanted a shiny, $30 ,000 car.

[1172] So I financed $20 ,000 and used that $10 ,000 as a down payment.

[1173] And, you know, the car payments and everything were fine at the time because I was working full time.

[1174] But now that I'm back in school and I can only work part -time, these car payments are like eating me alive.

[1175] Half of my income every month goes to this car between insurance.

[1176] payment and gas and I just can't do anything else.

[1177] Like I can't live.

[1178] So I'm like, I'm not sure what to do with this car now.

[1179] Sell it?

[1180] I, so that's the thing.

[1181] So I went to go sell it and like look into it.

[1182] And they told me that the car was like only worth, I think like $12 ,000 or something.

[1183] And I still owe $17 ,000 on it.

[1184] So I will be.

[1185] That's what they, that's what a dealer would give you for okay so your dad um you you refuse to accept guidance from him or he just didn't give you any guidance he just he didn't really give me any he kind of just was like here's $10 ,000 go buy yourself a car and i went with my brother who's like only two years older than me and he was supposed to be mr finance guy and like tell me what to do and help me with it um that was the whole point of him going with me and you know that's how i ended up in a car low okay car dealers buy cars at wholesale, and they resell them at a profit at retail.

[1186] You know the difference, you understand the difference in that?

[1187] Yeah, I think so.

[1188] So if your car is worth $12 ,000 to a dealer, it's probably worth $17 ,000.

[1189] Okay.

[1190] But you've only owned it one year, and you paid $30 for it?

[1191] Yeah, so.

[1192] That's a little weird, too.

[1193] Well, so, yeah, so I finance $20 ,000.

[1194] because I used the $10 ,000 as a down payment.

[1195] I know.

[1196] And I've only had it for one year.

[1197] But you paid $30 ,000 for the car, and you think it has gone down $15 ,000 or so, $13 ,000 or whatever.

[1198] I'm saying it might be worth $17 in one year?

[1199] Yeah, that's what, like, they're telling me. And when I did like a Kelly Blue Book thing, too, it essentially spat me out the same price.

[1200] And I'm confused as to how that could be too.

[1201] to like a private sale or trade -in value on Kelly Blue Book?

[1202] I clicked, I think I just clicked sell.

[1203] I didn't click trade -in.

[1204] Yeah, I think you clicked sell it, and they gave you a wholesale because that's you going over to Carvana or you're going over to CarMax or just the dealer, and they're going to, they'll always buy a car from anyone at, because it's what they do.

[1205] They buy them at auction, they buy them, they buy them for the purpose of reselling and making a profit.

[1206] So your goal is not to be inventory for them.

[1207] Your goal is to sell the car at retail on something like trader .com or Craigslist or whatever.

[1208] I'm either you dramatically overpaid for this car when you bought it at $30 ,000 or it's the worst piece of crap on the planet or it or the information we're getting so far as wrong.

[1209] Yeah.

[1210] Because a car that goes in half in one year is highly unusual.

[1211] They suck, but they don't usually suck that bad.

[1212] Yeah, that's what I've been told.

[1213] I mean, there is like a decent amount of miles that I put on it because I had to drive a lot for worse.

[1214] What's a decent amount of miles?

[1215] Maybe like 10 ,000 miles.

[1216] That's not a decent.

[1217] That's not big miles.

[1218] That did not devalue the car in half.

[1219] Okay.

[1220] Normal usage is 12 to 15 ,000 miles a year.

[1221] Anything above that might start devaluing it, but somewhere in there is normal usage.

[1222] Did you buy it new?

[1223] No, it was used.

[1224] What is it?

[1225] It's a Cadillac.

[1226] Which one?

[1227] Uh, XT5.

[1228] That car did not go in half in one year.

[1229] Okay.

[1230] So either you overpaid for it or you've got bad information.

[1231] You put in the wrong year in, maybe something like that.

[1232] Yeah.

[1233] So I want you to keep poking around on this.

[1234] And your older brother's not your source of information.

[1235] He's not wise.

[1236] We've already discovered that.

[1237] So I need you to get somebody, your dad or somebody in your life to help walk with you on this.

[1238] Anytime I'm in an area that I don't know anything about, I try to bring someone along beside me to help me do it the first time.

[1239] Yeah.

[1240] You tried that with your older brother, but I'm saying here, but I'm saying here you need to get somebody that actually can help you look at this value.

[1241] Go to kbb .com, look at private sale, look on trader .com, and you can look at, there's a couple other sites you can poke around on and talk about selling a car individual to individual used, and that's what you're going to need to do and get it sold.

[1242] Okay.

[1243] And then you may be walking or you may be getting a thousand or $2 ,000 car, save up.

[1244] What are you making?

[1245] And who's paying for school?

[1246] So my dad is completely like funding my school, so I don't have any, like, student loans or anything.

[1247] Good.

[1248] So why don't you talk to him about this, too?

[1249] and just say, hey, I made a huge mistake when I bought this.

[1250] Can you help me figure out how to get out of this thing?

[1251] Yeah, go in there and say, you know, admit the error.

[1252] I don't know what Charles' relationship is on this.

[1253] But, yeah, I wish he had gone with you rather than your brother and you'd walked out with the $10 ,000 paid for a car.

[1254] You'd have been a lot better shape.

[1255] Obviously, you know that already.

[1256] but um yeah that's um something's rotten in dim mark here that that didn't go down that much so anyway check it out that yet you do the answer question is you do need to get rid of the car and you shouldn't have bought it in the first place and you already know that so cool not shaming you just walking with you all right so um you coached this age person the whole time you were dean of students in the in higher education in different universities around um I raised three that went through college and through that age group.

[1257] And I got criticism from my, uh, from a few of our friends that, Dave and Sharon were too controlling of their college age students, college age kids.

[1258] My kids never really pushed back and we really weren't that controlling, but we did not just turn them loose in the wild.

[1259] I'm paying for your college.

[1260] so your life is going to reflect my value system.

[1261] Otherwise, I'm not paying for it.

[1262] And that includes making decisions like this.

[1263] There's no way I would have.

[1264] But, you know, I would have gone with one of them, and they would have picked out their own car, but it would have been within the $10 ,000 budget, and we wouldn't have gone down this with all that kind of stuff.

[1265] But what I find a lot of parents doing is just taking their hand off wheel.

[1266] Okay, you're 18.

[1267] You're physically looked like you're grown.

[1268] and just turn them loose and they get they get I mean poor Brianna she got filleted by a car dealer she got she got and her older brother stupid I mean young and dumb and you know so she didn't do anything wrong she's not a bad person at all she just didn't know and some they saw her coming she got fleeced right and and so I think parents ought to stay involved they should absolutely stay involved and it's funny when you separate the parent part we all of us as a society have agreed you got to be 21 to buy beer or you know guns or what like bullets whatever but when it comes to your kid it's like hey they're 18 man I'm finally done I'm tired like I go get them here's 10 ,000 bucks get a car I'll cover your tuition go make good choices and man those critical those you're not done those are critical times man you're not done parenting no no you should be done controlling that's right but you should be done controlling by the time they're 16 I'm going to walking beside you and uh you know they're but there's still a rope attached here absolutely it's just a long one you've got a lot of latitude as long as your your life reflects that latitude but um this idea that you're just go do whatever the crap you want all of a sudden yes that's bad parenting boys and girls i'm sorry if y 'all think i'm a dinosaur that's fine or just just look at this a good kid a teorex that's what i am but you hand a kid 10 ,000 dollars and the chances is they're going to make a good choice with that money.

[1269] It's tough, man. I'm not saying you're a bad person.

[1270] Just a dumb parenting decision.

[1271] This is the Ramsey show.

[1272] Dr. John Deloney, Ramsey personality is my co -host today in the lobby of Ramsey Solutions on the debt -free stage.

[1273] Dima and Rhonda are with us.

[1274] Hey, guys.

[1275] How are you?

[1276] Hey, Dave.

[1277] How are you?

[1278] Better than I deserve.

[1279] Where do you two live?

[1280] We live in Durham, North Carolina.

[1281] Oh, I love Durham.

[1282] Great town.

[1283] Welcome to Nashville.

[1284] Bill, and good to have you guys.

[1285] How much debt have you two paid off?

[1286] We paid off $266 ,192.

[1287] Whoa!

[1288] How long did this take?

[1289] Oh, my God.

[1290] Four years and eight months.

[1291] Golly.

[1292] All right.

[1293] And your range of income during that time?

[1294] Our starting salary was $138 ,000, and our ending salary was $28 ,500.

[1295] Look at you, too.

[1296] What do you all do?

[1297] What are you?

[1298] do for a living oh well i'm actually in compensation i work for a medical tech company so um i'm a compensation in the compensation role okay i don't even know what that means that must pay really well hey i think that's why i get paid the big bucks for real i'm a licensed clinical mental health counselor and you make it 280 thousand times i'm also a professor as well okay yeah yeah very good good for you guys that's awesome guys thank you there to go so what kind of debt was the 266.

[1299] Yeah, so it was a car loan credit card.

[1300] And Deemis grad school.

[1301] And student loans.

[1302] I'll tell you right now.

[1303] I know that.

[1304] Absolutely student loans.

[1305] Yes.

[1306] So my student loans were 150 ,000 and Rhonda's were 100 ,000.

[1307] That's undergraduate, graduate, graduate, and doctorate.

[1308] Yeah.

[1309] And so for me, I went out of state, Dave, and a private institution.

[1310] And then I went on and got a master's after that.

[1311] So talk about like, Piling it on.

[1312] Yeah.

[1313] Piling it on.

[1314] Okay.

[1315] So how long have you two been married?

[1316] Oh, this year we're celebrating 10 years.

[1317] So halfway through five years ago.

[1318] Something happened.

[1319] What happened?

[1320] What set you off on this stuff?

[1321] He decided to go get that last degree.

[1322] And we were already, like if you want to think about it, we were like 800 and something in student loans, just me with Dima's student loans being in forbearance.

[1323] And we're like, what are we going to do when your loans come out and we have to start paying like mind you we had just had a little one in 2017 and dama started school and we're like we cannot take on my loans daycare and then when dima get like his student loans we were scared like what's that going to look like yeah it just kept stacking up until it got scary yeah it got really then what happened what you do i mean we're graduates of the financial police institute university so i think we were just kind of paking it baby steps baby steps but when we realize what we're going to be under with all the student.

[1324] We're just like, we've got to use the principles and really get serious and intentional.

[1325] Time to get hardcore.

[1326] Yeah, absolutely.

[1327] All right.

[1328] So you lean in.

[1329] What was the first thing you did and what was the radical stuff you did?

[1330] Oh, we started doing the monthly, monthly meetings talking about our finances.

[1331] Hard conversations.

[1332] Hard conversations.

[1333] I mean, credit cars, of course, we put them in a jar in the kitchen and we're like paying with cash.

[1334] and if it wasn't on our monthly, you know, things that we had talked about, then we weren't doing it.

[1335] What would you say?

[1336] Who's the spender?

[1337] I could see it, man. I was hoping you would ask that.

[1338] Oh, my God, Dave.

[1339] Well, your shoes are shot from here.

[1340] Your watch is blinding me. Let me say this.

[1341] He, um, for his birthday, he was like, oh, let's go, let's get this car.

[1342] Let's, let's test drive it.

[1343] On his birthday, we ended up walking away with the car.

[1344] So I would say, Dave, after we got intentional, that car we sold it and we were upside down.

[1345] So we're like, but we can't and we made sure that anything else we had we were paying cash for as far as cars.

[1346] And that was really the testament that he was able to say, hey, I love the car, but I want us to get us out of debt and sold a car.

[1347] Being debt free was more.

[1348] More important.

[1349] So y 'all made it incredible combined salary together.

[1350] Both of y 'all are rolling up to places where people are seeing you all drive up.

[1351] and y 'all ain't driving quarter million dollar cars no I you know we still own I have a 2010 Mazda yeah it runs great it runs great going to your mysterious compensation jobs yes yes absolutely you know we're like hey we can't get rid of this like you know we're thinking about gas prices and things like that but it's making us more intentional and saying like now that we've paid off debt what else can we do definitely humbling ourselves and um having faith in the process um was a struggle but you know I'd definitely say be persistent and resilient absolutely because you know what Dave like we're all taught to like pay off debt but then it's like what do you do after you pay off debt and so we're loving these conversations because we're just been so used to paying off our student loans and paying all four years I mean that's a habit pattern right there right right after doing nothing yeah basically but you know what one of our happy experiences when we challenged ourselves to say what are we going to do and I remember our birthday we had $100 and said we're going to do with that we went and we did a day trip to the beach and that's been the most memorable trip and it's like we packed sandwiches we everything was free and we're like wow and I'm like I'm still talking about that birthday so it's like be humble and you'll be surprised I think even Dima made me a birthday cake so it was box but you know it was it was good and it was humbling to us and Dima can I tell you being a professor being a mental health practitioner yes I've always one wondered, if you want to do this scientific study, I'll put it on the air for you.

[1352] I always wondered if you're somebody in the helping profession, if you're a professor, how much do you have to curb what the research says?

[1353] How much do you have to curb what you actually believe is the right thing to say?

[1354] Because you're not really supposed to say that.

[1355] And I owe somebody money.

[1356] And now the students that you're going to be teaching, they're going to get it unfiltered you because nobody, you know, nobody's telling you what to do anymore.

[1357] no knife over you and you're going to be able to sit there and tell these these clients of yours here's the truth because i don't know anybody anything man i can i can speak from here and i does that make sense yeah absolutely and i think that was one of the motivators in wanting to be debt -free just the freedom if you will like you mentioned dr john like that freedom that you have um to kind of um you have that discretionary income if you will um we're still working through the baby steps but you have more freedom and there's no there's no there's no one, there's no loans or things of that nature that you have to pay.

[1358] It's awesome.

[1359] Yeah.

[1360] Yeah.

[1361] I'm proud of you guys.

[1362] Well done.

[1363] We're proud of you.

[1364] Excellent.

[1365] Way to go, heroes.

[1366] Thank you.

[1367] How does it feel?

[1368] Oh, I mean, Dr. Darnia said it.

[1369] It just to not owe anybody anything.

[1370] Like, we're like, what can we do now?

[1371] It's really challenging us to say, what do we want to do with our careers and like how do we give back?

[1372] It's like, it's making you just want to just pour out all of that knowledge.

[1373] And, and so we're just like, just ready and fired up about it.

[1374] It's refreshing.

[1375] Like our budget meetings are, it's a different, it's a different vibe.

[1376] Oh, yeah.

[1377] You can't thank you to, thank you to.

[1378] Oh my God.

[1379] Ramsey crew.

[1380] Yeah, thank you all.

[1381] Way to go, y 'all.

[1382] We're proud of you.

[1383] Thank you.

[1384] This is one of the rare couples that, they both married well.

[1385] You both did all right.

[1386] Thank you.

[1387] We won out in our marriages, but y 'all both did real well.

[1388] That's awesome.

[1389] Thank you.

[1390] I appreciate it.

[1391] That's great.

[1392] Very well done, you two.

[1393] Very well done.

[1394] All right, it's Dima and Rhonda from Durham, North Carolina.

[1395] $266 ,000 paid off in four years and eight months, making 138 to 284.

[1396] Count it down.

[1397] Let's hear a debt -free scream.

[1398] Three, two, one.

[1399] We're debt -free.

[1400] Yeah.

[1401] I love it.

[1402] Well done.

[1403] Very well done.

[1404] Yeah, I guess the number of things you can do when you have that liberty is changed dramatically.

[1405] But it's particularly, I never thought of it in a university setting.

[1406] That's very interesting.

[1407] That you don't have this 266 breathing down your neck so you can just kind of go, here's the truth.

[1408] Well, and you sit at the table and this is how we're going to teach this or this is how we're saying this.

[1409] Or if you have this belief, you're, stupid and if you owe a whole bunch of money you kind of got to put your head down and go to the next thing got to bite your tongue um and so now deem has been unleashed it's going to be fun to see it happen man why to go heroes this is the ramsie show our scripture of the day james one four let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete not lacking anything henry ford said obstacles are those things you see when you take your eyes off the goal.

[1410] That would be true.

[1411] Very cool.

[1412] Hey, folks, the best way to make the most of your money is by telling it what to do.

[1413] Money is a good slave.

[1414] It is a horrible master.

[1415] You don't want to work for it.

[1416] You need it to work for you.

[1417] The way you do that is called a budget.

[1418] And every dollar is the world's best, most robust budgeting app.

[1419] And it is exploding.

[1420] Millions and millions of millions of people are doing a budget now.

[1421] It's very cool, very excited of the results of this.

[1422] It's happening really fun.

[1423] So keep a pulse on your spending, follow your progress through the baby steps, be in control, be on the same page with your spouse, every bit of this.

[1424] Download every dollar for free in the app store or Google Play today.

[1425] Oak is with us.

[1426] Oak is in Charlotte, North Carolina.

[1427] Hi, Oak, what's up?

[1428] Hi, can hear me?

[1429] Absolutely.

[1430] How can we help?

[1431] So two years ago, 2022, I kind of jumped the gun a little too early, getting a house.

[1432] I saw how fast prices were rising, and I got a little scared that they weren't going to stagnate.

[1433] And I bought a four -bedroom house with the intention of doing house hacking, which has been going pretty well.

[1434] So far, I've no complaints.

[1435] It's been pretty simple.

[1436] So you filled it with room, mage?

[1437] Yes.

[1438] Okay.

[1439] But my issue now is I'm having regrets because had I stayed with my parents an extra two years, I could have put down double, maybe 50 % on a one -bedroom, two -bedroom house, and worked on aggressively paying that off instead of having a large house that is reliance on tenants.

[1440] I was wondering, do you think it would be best to continue as I'm doing now, or just cut my losses, sell it, and try it.

[1441] Why is there a loss?

[1442] It should have gone up in value in Charlotte, North Carolina.

[1443] Yeah, yeah, I cut my losses is incorrect.

[1444] You mean emotionally cut your losses?

[1445] Yes.

[1446] Okay, but financially you would sell the house and make money, would you not?

[1447] I would, yes.

[1448] So what's the house worth today?

[1449] About $5 ,000, $20 ,000.

[1450] Okay.

[1451] What do you make?

[1452] A hundred thousand years.

[1453] How old are you?

[1454] 26.

[1455] Okay.

[1456] And what do you owe on it?

[1457] 370 ,000.

[1458] Okay.

[1459] So you would make 100 grand or more net of the sale.

[1460] Well, if you sold it, right?

[1461] Yes.

[1462] Kind of sounds like 50 % down on a one or a two bedroom.

[1463] Okay, so what I meant is should I sell now and get a new mortgage on a smaller property?

[1464] property or stay here and keep saving up to try and pay cash for my next house.

[1465] I don't care.

[1466] Does it matter?

[1467] Either one will get you there.

[1468] All right.

[1469] As long as you're not having trouble with roommates and you're not having trouble collecting rent and that kind of stuff.

[1470] I'm with you.

[1471] I would not have signed up for the trip you've taken, but now that you're in that vehicle, I don't know that I'm going to force it to jump ship unless you just hate it.

[1472] Do you hate it?

[1473] No, I don't hate it.

[1474] Okay.

[1475] It sounds like you're real pissed off at a couple of years ago, Oak.

[1476] Less pissed off and more I realized I made a rushed decision.

[1477] Okay.

[1478] And I would say instead of walking around regretting it, just your 26, man, you're not even in the same ballpark with stupid money decisions that I've made over the years.

[1479] You've got a long way to go, man. If that's your last one that you made at 26, you win.

[1480] And so I would say you learn something at 25 or 24 years old.

[1481] Good on you.

[1482] And it's made you 100 grand.

[1483] I wish I had more of those errors in my life that made me $100 ,000.

[1484] Yeah.

[1485] So stop regretting it, man. It just is a different choice.

[1486] You know in the future I'm going to make a different decision.

[1487] And you sound like a smart guy.

[1488] I just don't want you beating up my friend Oak anymore.

[1489] Oak, are you making enough?

[1490] on the rental of the bedrooms to pay the current payment without you putting in any money no I'm a 300 less than the mortgage okay so you you have 300 out of pocket and so if you sold this and put a hundred down on a 250 you'd be out of pocket more to live there right but you'd have no roommates yes no risk and no hassle yeah yes all right how what are you making again you said you make a hundred yep yeah how quick can you You don't have any house cost much.

[1491] How quick can you save another 100?

[1492] I'm not sure.

[1493] I've kind of taken life a little too casually, and I realize I kind of have a spending problem, a shopping addiction.

[1494] So it depends on how quickly I can get that down.

[1495] Well, I agree with that.

[1496] I kind of been using the income from tenants to supplement my lifestyle, kind of.

[1497] oh so instead of paying down the mortgage you're taking what house payment you don't have and you're just blown it on nonsense no not all of it but kind of not all of it just kind of offsetting it a little bit okay you're 26 did you learn a lesson yeah okay let's be done with that and again congratulations yeah i'll just lay down lay down what you want to do and say i need i need a hundred k to go with a hundred k from the house that's 200 and um how quick can i I do that making a hundred.

[1498] It sounds to me like a year and a half to two years if you're very careful.

[1499] Yeah.

[1500] And if you have a true addiction, if you are over your head, they don't need just spending.

[1501] Yeah, but if you call somebody, but I think you're just spending it.

[1502] I think you're having fun as a 25 year old like most of us did.

[1503] Casual.

[1504] That's what he said.

[1505] Like casual.

[1506] You're just casual.

[1507] You know, it's time to get, what you need is a goal that lifts you and causes you to be a better version of you.

[1508] That's right.

[1509] and so something to aim at and if this house move is something to aim at you say okay i'm going to do this for two more years and i'm going to 18 more months and i'm going to save 125 000 and so i need to save x number of dollars a month and until i've done that i'm not having any fun and until i've done that there's not going to need anything casual about me i'm going to go after it and that's you know you got to lay lay yourself into uh into a plan and then then that'll keep you moving in the right direction.

[1510] Jada is with us.

[1511] Jada's in Virginia Beach.

[1512] Hi, Jada.

[1513] How are you?

[1514] I'm good.

[1515] How are you?

[1516] Better than we deserve.

[1517] What's up?

[1518] Good.

[1519] I was just calling, just I guess to get an opinion.

[1520] My husband and I, we want to buy a house next year, but we are about $75 ,000 in debt with the car and credit card bills and whatnot.

[1521] We thought about trying to do credit booster programs, debt consolidations, you know, selling stuff back.

[1522] None of that will work.

[1523] We were all over.

[1524] Yeah, and I felt like we're all over the place.

[1525] You are.

[1526] I didn't really get into it.

[1527] And so, like, I just kind of needed to, like, take a step back.

[1528] And so my mom.

[1529] How much do you all in your car?

[1530] My car is about 18 ,000.

[1531] How much on the other car?

[1532] 22.

[1533] Okay.

[1534] And what's your household income?

[1535] So he just started working back full -time again.

[1536] So within the next couple months, we'll be at $5 ,100.

[1537] Okay, and you work full -time?

[1538] I do.

[1539] Okay, that's $60 ,000 a year, right?

[1540] Okay.

[1541] Mm -hmm.

[1542] Yeah.

[1543] Your cars are insane.

[1544] Yeah.

[1545] You can't breathe because of your cars.

[1546] Pretty much.

[1547] Yeah.

[1548] So the way you get a house is magical.

[1549] You sell the cars.

[1550] And then you'll suddenly have some money, get you some change.

[1551] Depot, $2 ,000 cars to drive to work, and both of you need to be working more.

[1552] You're not making any money.

[1553] Right.

[1554] So then, so I've looked to, like, you know, sell my car, and I heard on a previous call you on about the Kelly Booba private sale, but mine was worth about, I think it was like $12 ,000.

[1555] So you're going to have to borrow the difference or you're going to have to save up the difference.

[1556] But you guys don't make enough money to be driving these cars.

[1557] These cars are driving you.

[1558] So we've got to make that move one way or another.

[1559] We've got to figure out how we're going to pull this off.

[1560] But that's the thing.

[1561] More income, less outgo.

[1562] You're not buying a house next year.

[1563] You're not going to be ready by next year.

[1564] It's going to be the year after that, and that's only if you lay into this hard.

[1565] That puts this hour of the Ramsey Show in the books.

[1566] We'll be back with you before you know it.

[1567] In the meantime, remember, there's ultimately only one way to financial peace, and that's to walk daily with the Prince of Peace, Christ Jesus.

[1568] Hey, folks, Dave here.

[1569] you want to hear even more life -changing content from Ramsey, download the Ramsey Network app so you can catch all your favorite shows all in one place like the Ramsey Show, Smart Money Happy Hour, and the Dr. John Deloney Show.

[1570] You'll get real talk about life, relationships, money, and your career.

[1571] Plus, the app lets you browse by topic like debt, business, or selling your home.

[1572] Get the content you want whenever and wherever you want to listen.

[1573] Download the Ramsey Network app today.

[1574] You know,