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[0] This is exactly right.
[1] Hey, this is exciting.
[2] An all -new season of only murders in the building is coming to Hulu on August 27th.
[3] Steve Martin, Martin Short, and Selena Gomez are back as your favorite podcaster, detectives.
[4] But there's a mystery hanging over everyone.
[5] Who killed Saz?
[6] And were they really after Charles?
[7] Why would someone want to kill Charles?
[8] This season, murder hits close to home.
[9] With a threat against one of their own, the stakes are higher than ever.
[10] Plus, the gang is going to Hollywood to turn their podcast into a major movie.
[11] Amid the glitz and glamour of Los Angeles, more mysteries and twists arise.
[12] Who knows what will happen once the cameras start to roll?
[13] Get ready for the stariest season yet with Merrill Streep, Zach Alfinacus, Eugene Levy, Eva Longoria, Melissa McCarthy, DeVine, Joy Randolph, Molly Shannon, and more.
[14] Only Martyrs in the building, premieres August 27th, streaming only on Hulu.
[15] Goodbye.
[16] Bye.
[17] Oh, hi.
[18] Oh, hi.
[19] How are you?
[20] All right, guys.
[21] Hi.
[22] Oh, yeah.
[23] Hey, yeah.
[24] We have to start over.
[25] No. I'm sure people are like, it's upsetting their ears.
[26] We hate your talking.
[27] I was like, welcome to my favorite Minnesota murder podcast.
[28] Where the things are stuff and the stuff is things.
[29] Every day.
[30] in the best way you can for your family.
[31] Always and forever.
[32] Amen.
[33] Elvis is to yawned at us.
[34] He's so bored with us.
[35] Elvis is clearly an agnostic.
[36] And I respect him for that.
[37] Yeah.
[38] I mean, he's not even not sure.
[39] He's like 100 % sure.
[40] He knows exactly how things are.
[41] That's the great, it's really kind of the, the pride of the agnostic.
[42] is just absolutely being positive that in this world of mystery where anything is possible they absolutely know for a fact there's no such there's nothing as possible and there is no mystery and also go fuck yourself and go fuck yourself meanwhile did you know that they discovered a lake at the bottom of the ocean is it like a salty lake I think so where shit like dies in there and it's like a different consistency of the water it has it actually like water laps up onto the sand and makes like did you see that article?
[43] Yes I don't know if it was that specific one, but like a couple months ago, I saw one that was like a salt lake at the bottom of the ocean.
[44] If like, and like there were all these like dead crabs and stuff at the like, um, lip.
[45] Yeah.
[46] Because they'd be like, do to do, do water is water.
[47] And then they'd fucking die.
[48] And they're like, nope.
[49] Water's actually a bunch of salt in your crab face.
[50] Water and water isn't water.
[51] You know what I mean?
[52] Well, what's under there?
[53] No, let's, if there's a lake at the bottom of the ocean, what's at the bottom of that lake?
[54] Next to the crab bodies.
[55] creatures treasure treasure and creatures there's a creature that holds it backs of treasure it uh is uh what's it called when it's like trying to not let anyone near the treasure hoarding is it hoarding it's hoarding but it's also protecting oh sure so it's like a dragon it's like a dragon at the bottom of the lake dragon creature who is this this is the worst podcast we've ever done hands down do you know that um did you see the there's like a there's a whole conversation on the Facebook group of people being like I thought what did you think Elvis was when you first heard him because I guess in the very beginning and the whole podcast we've never been like Elvis and Mimi are cats oh that's never been stated explicitly never been stated because I'm like yeah those are my like my life yes you and you have called them babies before my babies and like so and then he sounds like a goat yes or a baby crying yes But not really a cat.
[56] No, he actually is not that cat -like.
[57] No, I feel like unless you, and a lot of people said this, like unless you have had a Siamese, you don't understand what, that's what that was.
[58] Yeah, because it is like when you say the magic question, I won't say, his answer does sound like words a little bit.
[59] Yeah.
[60] Or he's like, yeah.
[61] And he has, it's feeling of like, fuck, yeah.
[62] Like, what the fuck kind of stupid question is that?
[63] Why haven't you asked me earlier?
[64] Right.
[65] I don't know.
[66] All the questions you ask me. And, and, and, and, and, a parrot.
[67] Another one was a parrot.
[68] But I think the goat, I think that people are most right on with the goat idea.
[69] Oh, goat was a real thing.
[70] People thought.
[71] People thought we had like a little billy goat like their pets.
[72] Like that's one thing.
[73] It's like if I actually had that and wasn't like Elvis the goat instead of like.
[74] That'd be super weird.
[75] Who would I?
[76] I'd be crazy.
[77] You would be.
[78] If we had a baby sitting next to us this whole time like whenever we were podcasting.
[79] And you're never necessarily like concerned about the baby until the end of your podcast.
[80] And someone was like, I just thought maybe they shook it to what at the end?
[81] They're all lying.
[82] I know.
[83] Hey, this is my favorite word of me. So, hey, hi.
[84] Hey, that's Georgia Hardstock and her baby Elvis.
[85] That's Karen Kielgareth and her goat.
[86] And my goat.
[87] Stephen.
[88] What else was the whole time, everyone was like, I thought Stephen was a person.
[89] Oh, my God.
[90] No, you idiot.
[91] I guess we've never mentioned it.
[92] Stephen's a goldfish With a mustache The goldfish's name is mustache You know what This we're going straight into our animated series Where you and I solve crimes With the goldfish with a mustache That we carry around in a goldfish bowl And it keeps like sloshing all over Which dresses me out We feed goldfish the cracker That's our sponsor What if Stephen was a crab And the barnacle was named Mustache at Barnacle and he...
[93] So that's two characters.
[94] And he can't go in at Salt Lake at the bottom of it.
[95] He comes from the Salt Lake.
[96] Listen.
[97] Every, no, I'm hearing you and I'm following up with and then every episode we're one step closer to the Salt Lake.
[98] And Stephen's like, we can't go that way.
[99] And we're like, what are you, what's wrong?
[100] We have to go back.
[101] And we're like, no, you can't go back.
[102] No, we can't.
[103] We need the treasure.
[104] That got real weird.
[105] This is, well, we're, sorry, we're both on PCP.
[106] we should have mentioned that this is the PCP episode I might be getting sick it's possible apparently it's not cold but I'm fucking freezing my ass on I walked into this apartment it was hot hot hot are you serious Georgia was laying on the couch I'm sorry of my reaction I got very triggered Georgia was laying on the couch on the couch not the crouch in a house dress with the blanket up and it immediately her she looked sick and that made me mad for some reason why are you said why are we doing this?
[107] I have a real, my family is so psychotic.
[108] If you are laying down or in pajamas past 8 .30 a .m., everyone goes crazy.
[109] Oh, they would fucking just hate me. That's my life.
[110] But I thought I didn't have it because I, please, I slop around all day long, but like, I can't have you doing it.
[111] You were like, it wasn't even like, why are we doing this, honey?
[112] Like, are you okay?
[113] It was, why are we doing this?
[114] You had the, Well, you know what bothered me was I was hot from walking because I walked from kind of down the street.
[115] Oh, I want to get a new parking spot.
[116] No, no, no. I don't have a car, remember?
[117] Fuck, I forgot about that.
[118] I was just walking.
[119] It was nice, actually.
[120] Just take a nice walk.
[121] But when I got in, the heater was blowing right near the front door.
[122] So I was like, it's like 80 degrees in here.
[123] And then I looked over and you looked like you were from a cold commercial.
[124] We were like, I think I'm freezing.
[125] I'm stuffing and blaking it.
[126] God damn it.
[127] It sounded like we were.
[128] like husband and wife had been married for 20 years and we were like both so unhappy and it's like at the end of a final fight why are we doing this i'm sorry i escalated it so quickly um my father had melanoma he had chemotherapy three times a week oh my god um and he still got up every day and put clothes on even if he went back and just laid on the top of the blankets he got up every day and put his clothes on that's where i'm coming from is This is why I have house dresses are an emergency.
[129] But house dresses aren't pajamas, right?
[130] Well, I need to make that clarification with you and I need to just update myself.
[131] I need you to know, too, that I have a really big issue with house clothes in the, I mean, sorry, outside clothes in the house.
[132] Because you sit down in public places and like, who knows who's been doing what on those seats.
[133] Yes.
[134] And then you come in.
[135] Like the minute I come in my house, I walk to my closet and put on a house dress.
[136] but like cute like this is cute it's very cute it's a cat tan sure it's a vintage calf tan yeah but I just I can't I can't so I wouldn't wear clothes okay I'm not sick yet okay good I can't have you be sick ever I don't feel sick I'd breathe all over you if I was no but I mean it goes be I know I just didn't it's something I'm gonna have to take back to the therapist so you're a caretaker is what you're saying you have caretaker issues I have sickness you can't be flat on a couch Well, I don't want to be around to you if you're flat on a couch.
[137] To me, that's, like, the ultimate of, like, we're close is, like, the fact that I can lay on a couch with Stephen here and you and, like, my, my, like, happiest place is laying on a couch tucking my feet under whoever is there.
[138] It's, like, my happy place.
[139] Like, my feet tucked under you.
[140] Sure.
[141] Oh, my God.
[142] It's so comforting to me. That's so snuggly of you.
[143] It's so cute and, like, warm, but you're just, like, get up.
[144] I feel like, now that we've talked it through, I'm going to be better about it.
[145] have the opposite of things.
[146] That's a lot of time.
[147] A lot of time.
[148] That's what this podcast is called.
[149] The opposite of things.
[150] Hey, this whole thing is supposed to be about your hometown murders.
[151] And so because of that, we've talked for 15 minutes about my personal problems with when people look sick.
[152] Why are we doing this?
[153] This is therapy.
[154] I mean, we both had therapy today.
[155] Actual fucking paid for.
[156] I literally just came from therapy.
[157] That's probably why I was like ground all the way down.
[158] Oh, and I came, and I left for therapy this morning after we hung out.
[159] Dude.
[160] All right.
[161] Go.
[162] Hometowns.
[163] You guys email them to us?
[164] Now let's do a hard left turn into murder.
[165] We ignore them.
[166] Okay, here's the first one Stephen Ray Morris picked out for us.
[167] Oh, I was going to read from the top of your email.
[168] Hey, hi, here's the hometowns for tonight.
[169] Okay.
[170] This one, the subject line is, you'll never guess what my neighbor's.
[171] did with six exclamation points after i'm in yeah i love a good neighbor anything sure because you're stuck next to them oh ready yeah dear karen and georgia hello my loves good start my name is may oh cute and i'm a newish listener to your incredible podcast i've spent the last couple of weeks pouring over everything you've posted and have commented um and and have recommended you to my lovely mother who's the reason why i'm obsessed with true crime in the first place she also thinks you're great this is really going well this email.
[172] Steven knows how to...
[173] Steven was just adding shit in that and she never wrote any of that.
[174] Steven knows us.
[175] I think that they need a little, they need a little boost at the top.
[176] Yeah.
[177] They've been seeming sad lately.
[178] George has been sick and Karen's been enraged.
[179] Let me write something at the top that'll make them feel better.
[180] Okay.
[181] I was thinking I didn't have anything interesting to send you, but then I remembered the saga from my second ear of you We're dealing with a foreigner here.
[182] Yep, we are.
[183] I have no problem with you saying my name and the city, by the way, because people should be able to Google this dickhead.
[184] Okay, fun.
[185] I was studying in a city in England called Canterbury.
[186] I love when English things are called things.
[187] They're not, like, she's called Karen.
[188] They don't, yeah, go on.
[189] Called Canterbury, which was very quaint and lovely and also very boring.
[190] yeah you know what i know because i read the canterbury tales freshman year and it was a serious news fest fucking a rooster telling everybody what to do okay calm down we rister not you easy rooster easy calm down because you love the canterbury tales so much okay we lived in a pretty suburban area and on the same road as a graveyard quote in parentheses this is important uh okay one day my housemate burruburned in the front door crying and yelling about our neighbor Dale.
[191] And it took us ages to calm her down.
[192] Dale was an older guy and was always very nice and never complained about us being loud student types.
[193] We weren't best friends with him or anything, but we knew him to say hello to.
[194] He was always stood in the front garden and we would always stop and do the standard nice weather exchange.
[195] I just picture him standing in the garden.
[196] It gave me like the chills of him just standing in the garden.
[197] Not doing anything.
[198] He's dead.
[199] In all caps.
[200] So at fucking turns out.
[201] Dale had been arrested and was in all the papers for plotting to kill and eat a woman.
[202] Oh, no. He was on cannibal message boards.
[203] What?
[204] There's cannibal message boards.
[205] I feel like we shouldn't tell everyone that.
[206] Oh, but the cannibal cop, that's how the cannibal cop got caught.
[207] Oh, right.
[208] Yeah, they've been around.
[209] People know about the dark web.
[210] He was on cannibal message boards boasting about all these people he'd killed and eaten.
[211] There was a Chinese restaurant a few streets over from us and he'd become obsessed with the woman who worked in there.
[212] Oh no. He was telling people on all these sites that he was going to cut off her head and eater.
[213] And when the police raided his house, they found all caps.
[214] The axe he'd bought to do the job with.
[215] Oh, God.
[216] Thank fucking God, the FBI were able to track him down.
[217] And so the police over here shut his shit down.
[218] He'd been saying online that he was stealing bodies from the graveyard.
[219] So that all had to be investigated, but turns out he's probably lying about that.
[220] They also pretty much dug out his entire garden that we always stood in to chat with him.
[221] And the bottom floor of his house, but as far as I remember, they didn't actually find anything.
[222] But I mean, just because they didn't find anything doesn't make it any less terrifying.
[223] They also took his computer and found child porn and loads of other horrific incriminating shit.
[224] So they were able to prosecute him.
[225] He was jailed in 2014 for nine years, and hopefully he pops his clogs before he can get out because he's a dirty bastard.
[226] Pops his clogs, you dirty bastard.
[227] Once again, love both you loads, stay sexy, May. How disgusting and creepy do you have to be to creep people out enough to call the cops on you on a fucking cannibal message word?
[228] Because you know that's who fucking told on him.
[229] yes like people are like i'm on a cannibal message board because i like to talk about oh god this guy's a fucking creep like that's what happens is the creepiest of the cannibal message board like you're fucked up you're like look we're all here to talk about eating people but we're not doing what you're doing dale but you're scaring us a little you're a dirty bastard dale dale dale okay may that was lovely thank you yeah you nailed it may let's see this one i'm gonna there's a funny one i mean okay I'm going to save that one.
[230] This one is called Unsalved Small Town Murder.
[231] Stephen, it's almost like, you know, I love these.
[232] Hmm.
[233] All right.
[234] Stephen got all shy.
[235] Oh.
[236] Hi, late.
[237] Stephen doesn't.
[238] Sound like mini mouths.
[239] I wasn't.
[240] Oh.
[241] Oh, it's blue.
[242] Olive oil.
[243] Stephen isn't olive oil.
[244] Hi, ladies.
[245] I love your podcast.
[246] It really helps me get through my dark.
[247] Nope.
[248] My day at work.
[249] work.
[250] I was reading into that about my day at work.
[251] No, I'm pretty sure my co -workers think I'm insane.
[252] Yay.
[253] My favorite murder is also kind of my hometown murder.
[254] I don't get to talk about it ever, as it is a very sensitive topic that involves the murder of a 15 -year -old girl.
[255] I live in a small town in rural Alberta, Canada, and this crime took place in the neighboring town of standard.
[256] Standard is quite small and close -knit.
[257] Current population is 303.
[258] I mean, sorry, 353.
[259] there's a five in there, but still.
[260] I think that's how many people went to my high school.
[261] That's crazy.
[262] Total, yeah.
[263] It was small.
[264] But I mean, we weren't, we weren't a town.
[265] No. Yeah, that's a high school town.
[266] That's like if your town.
[267] Could you imagine a town full of high school students?
[268] That's a nightmare.
[269] No. This is our new horror movie.
[270] Copyright, recording copyright, don't try to steal this.
[271] But look, here's it.
[272] So we're on a bus, right?
[273] We're in a van.
[274] You're there too, see you in.
[275] breaks down at the edge of town we get out we have to walk we get in oh everything's closed yeah because they're all drinking in the 7 -11 parking lot the whole town and stephen has to like communicate with them for us because he's closer and age to them we don't understand their language i have no idea what's going on he's our translator because they're just talking in um memes and fucking l -l's what are they called stephen oh man i'm so here for this i'll do my best i just keep yelling Rihanna at the top of my lungs.
[276] What's that?
[277] Rihanna.
[278] Oh.
[279] You know, and to try to relate.
[280] And I just keep going, L -O -L.
[281] L -O -L.
[282] Ha -ha.
[283] And then it turns out, where are the killers?
[284] And then we murdered all of them.
[285] Anywho, 353, the kind of place where everyone knows everyone and some people still don't lock their doors because they're fucking anian.
[286] Something I know you'll take with an issue with.
[287] It's like you know me. You're getting predictable.
[288] I am getting predictable.
[289] On April 22nd, 1981, Kelly Cook, a 15 -year -old resident of Standard, Alberta, received a phone call asking her to babysit that evening.
[290] I think I fucking know this one.
[291] A man calling gave his name as Bill Christensen, a very common last name in the area.
[292] Because they were all related?
[293] I don't know.
[294] Just saying.
[295] He arranged to pick her up that evening.
[296] She left the house at 8 .30 p .m. and got into a full -sized car.
[297] She was never seen alive again.
[298] her mother knew something was wrong within the hour when Kelly did not call it a check -in as was normal.
[299] She started calling everyone she knew to ask if they'd seen Kelly.
[300] And when that failed, she called the police.
[301] At 10 p .m., a call was made at the operator from a payphone 15 miles.
[302] Oh, my God, he wrote 25 kilometers, and then he wrote 15 miles also, because he clearly knows me. No, wait, she, never mind.
[303] She clearly knows me. From standard in another in another neighboring town.
[304] The operator said that all they heard was a young woman screaming before the call was disconnected.
[305] This was believed to be Kelly.
[306] Extensive searching in the days following proved fruitless.
[307] Her body was found two months later, about 155 miles south of standard in a reservoir.
[308] She had been tied to cinder blocks and tossed in the lake.
[309] Her body was so decomposed that they could not determine an official cause of death.
[310] They believed the perpetrator was a local or lived in the area based on his knowledge of common names and geography of the area.
[311] The police believe that Kelly was not the original target.
[312] A couple months prior to this, another young woman had her picture run in the local paper.
[313] After that, a man called the standard school district school trying to get more information on this girl.
[314] The principal refused to tell him anything.
[315] He somehow got her information and called her that day, April 22nd, that day, the same fucking day, to ask her to babysit, but she was already busy.
[316] She gave him Kelly's number.
[317] Not knowing this would lead to her friend's death.
[318] Holy.
[319] Oh, man. He, like, referred, she referred, despite this case being so old, the police still get a couple tips every year, but so far no one has been caught.
[320] There are a few theories that paint this man as a traveling salesman or someone just passing through.
[321] He may have been traveling to the States, and that's why her body was found so far south.
[322] No other cases with similar M .O. had, have ever been reported in the area.
[323] This man would be in a 70s or 80s now.
[324] This case really sticks with me, and every time I hear a possible new evidence, I get excited.
[325] I can't handle the suspense of a non -solve murder.
[326] Hope you ladies enjoyed my hometown murder.
[327] Stay sexy, Miranda.
[328] That is amazing and so creepy.
[329] So tragic.
[330] Just that idea, it's that it's so easy to wheedle information out of people.
[331] For sure.
[332] Horrifying.
[333] For sure.
[334] But then also it's that thing of like, somebody getting a babysitting job like I bet you was her name Kelly the girl that went missing yeah the second girl like that not the referer but the actual oh wait the girl who was yeah Kelly was like I bet Kelly was the girl who actually went missing yeah yeah because the girl that referred her I bet she assumed that girl knew that guy totally or was just like yeah right yes she was like oh if you're referring this to me he must be a family friend of your yeah but But originally that girl must have been like, this is just a babysitting person.
[335] Right.
[336] Oh, my God.
[337] That's so sad.
[338] It's so sinister.
[339] And I feel like even to this day, like, you know how paranoid I am?
[340] Like, I wouldn't be like, this person who wants you to babysit is going to pick you up and fucking kill you.
[341] Like, it's so easy and obvious that it's almost unfathomable.
[342] Yes.
[343] Yeah, it's just crazy.
[344] What a trip.
[345] like what a fucking diabolical trick yeah and also I'm why last night I watched a thing on Henry Lee Lucas and you know most of the murders he confessed to were hoaxes and lies but that idea that people we've seen it in other cases people driving around killing people randomly yeah like and that's what makes them cold cases is because there's no connection it just tries me crazy yeah it's like stick to a fucking M .O., dude make it easy yeah Can we please have a chance?
[346] Okay.
[347] This one, the subject line is Fresno, worst place, best hometown murder.
[348] Hi, Karen, Georgia, and Stephen.
[349] Thanks so much for your service.
[350] It's like first fucking service dogs.
[351] Yeah, that's right.
[352] The Atlantic article about MFM was spot on and I shared it with all the people I introduced to your podcast.
[353] Thank you.
[354] I escaped Fresno for New York over a decade ago, but I will never forget the haunting story of the Wesson Massacre, which occurred shortly before I moved away.
[355] That's going to be good.
[356] Everyone knew Marcus Wesson, but odd.
[357] Everyone knew Marcus Wesson was odd, but nobody knew the extent of the horror residing in his home.
[358] Wesson was the neighborhood weirdo with long gray dreadlocks, a house on the block with an unkempt yard and cars on blocks, and constant randoms coming and going at all hours.
[359] On March 12, 2004, several members of Wesson's extended oh fuck I know what this is.
[360] You do?
[361] Yep.
[362] On March 12th, 2004, several members of Wesson's extended family confronted him demanding the release of their children.
[363] The police were summoned to what they thought was a child custody issue, but a standoff ensued.
[364] Police put his house under siege to little response.
[365] Guns were fired, and the police stormed the house, finding the bodies of nine women and children in antique.
[366] coffins.
[367] What?
[368] Wesson was arrested and the insane details quickly emerged.
[369] Wesson had multiple wives and children most to the product of incest.
[370] The complex family structure started with the marrying of his first wife in 1971, then quote, marrying her eight -year -old daughter in 1974.
[371] Wesson went on to sexually abuse two of his daughters and three nieces, quote, marrying in -home ceremonies when they were around seven to nine years old.
[372] Oh my God.
[373] Each of the five girls became impregnated as a result of the incest.
[374] He homeschooled the children and taught them from his personally handwritten Bible that focused on Jesus Christ being a vampire.
[375] Editor's note, what the actual fuck?
[376] That's written in all caps.
[377] I love it.
[378] Oh my God.
[379] He told the children that he was God and had them refer to him as master or Lord.
[380] He taught the children to be prepared for Armageddon and that the girls were destined to become Wesen's future wives.
[381] So here's the kicker.
[382] Wesson was convicted of nine counts of first -degree murder despite not having pulled the trigger in any of the killings.
[383] Shut up.
[384] Yep, the wives went full mans in shooting their children and committing suicide as Wesson had instructed them if their family was ever threatened.
[385] Wesson is on death row at San Quentin, and my sister who lives and works nearby has seen Wesson visit an eye doctor in her office park.
[386] What?
[387] Talk about making beds in a burning house, guy who's going to be put to death.
[388] wait that line would say it again talk about because he's going to the eye doctor yeah no that's the best thing I've ever heard yeah talk about making beds in a burning house guy who's going to be put to death how have I never heard that phrase making beds in a burning house it's kind of like on par with rearranging the deck chairs on the titanic right I love it not that you needed me to explain to you I get what it means and I love it um she says he still got the hair and is as terrifying as you'd imagine thanks for sharing this story hope you found it as bananas as i have s dgm aaron how have i never heard that before and listen i fucking every week google crazy fucked up crimes crazy fucked up murders murders that's all i fucking do for the show this guy has been on a bunch of like forensic files and all those things that we watch he was this really big black guy with long gray dreads that were like to the middle of his back and he he treated his family like a cult so they traveled around I remember seeing one where basically they were like in a van together for years there was some I want to say it was a 2020 but that might not be right where they inner oh maybe oh shit I might be confusing this with another I hope I'm not but there was something where they interviewed a survivor oh my god like so but that could be wrong.
[389] I mean, so many people were murdered in this.
[390] It's so horrifying.
[391] But it definitely was, if it's, if I'm thinking of the right one, basically he just, they were kind of nomadic and he was a cult leader, essentially, just it was the cult of his family.
[392] That's so sad.
[393] It's so crazy.
[394] Hey, this is exciting.
[395] An all new season of only murders in the building is coming to Hulu on August 27th.
[396] Steve Martin, Martin Short, and Selena Gomez are back as your favorite podcast detectives.
[397] But there's a mystery hanging over everyone.
[398] Who killed Saz?
[399] And were they really after Charles?
[400] Why would someone want to kill Charles?
[401] This season, murder hits close to home.
[402] With a threat against one of their own, the stakes are higher than ever.
[403] Plus, the gang is going to Hollywood to turn their podcast into a major movie.
[404] Amid the glitz and glamour of Los Angeles, more mysteries and twists arise.
[405] Who knows what'll happen once the cameras start to roll?
[406] Get ready for the stariest season yet with Merrill Streep, Zach Alfinacus, Eugene Levy, Eva Longoria, Melissa McCarthy, Devine, Joy Randolph, Molly Shannon, and more.
[407] Only Martyrs in the Building, premieres August 27th, streaming only on Hulu.
[408] Goodbye.
[409] Karen, you know I'm all about vintage shopping.
[410] Absolutely.
[411] And when you say vintage, you mean when you physically drive to a store and actually purchase something with cash?
[412] Exactly.
[413] And if you're a small business owner, you might know Shopify is great for online sales.
[414] But did you know that they also power in -person sales?
[415] That's right.
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[417] Give your point of sale system a serious upgrade with Shopify.
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[422] Connect with customers in line and online.
[423] Do retail right with Shopify.
[424] Sign up for a $1 per month trial period at Shopify .com slash murder.
[425] Important note, that promo code is all lowercase.
[426] Go to Shopify .com slash murder to take your retail business to the next level today.
[427] That's Shopify .com slash murder.
[428] Goodbye.
[429] Well, are you ready for our dad found the body and almost peed on it?
[430] Oh, okay.
[431] So a little light, something little light.
[432] Just something fun.
[433] I'm going to end in lightly.
[434] Okay.
[435] Hi, my sister and I are loyal followers, longing for each new podcast.
[436] Thank you.
[437] That's nice.
[438] Here's our hometown murder.
[439] Our dad is a veteran policeman now retired in Pueblo, Colorado.
[440] In December 1999, our elderly great aunt called Dad worried about her friend, Lucille Pearson, missing after not returning home from a local shopping trip.
[441] We knew something was up because Dad was avoiding her questions.
[442] He usually spoke pretty freely.
[443] Wait, dad was avoiding probably our questions.
[444] He usually spoke pretty freely.
[445] Lucila had been caring for a teenage grandson, uh -uh, who had some issues, and no one felt it was a good situation.
[446] The grandson's friend agreed to help in the investigation, and this led police to some private property southwest of town.
[447] Dad volunteered to go up the hills to help with a search because he had four -wheel drive.
[448] They spent a couple days, drained a little pond, and searched a campsite.
[449] they found a fire ring, some small pieces of scorched skull, but nothing they could test DNA for.
[450] As the sun was setting the last day, Dad broke off from the group to relieve himself before the long drive home.
[451] Just then he looked down and saw a displaced rock where he was about to pee.
[452] It was Lucille's pelvis and her heart was lodged inside.
[453] What?
[454] Wait.
[455] What?
[456] Exclamation mark.
[457] Did someone put it there?
[458] I don't know.
[459] he almost peed on what was left of her body exclamation mark now they had the physical evidence to prosecute the grandson and his friend for murdering dismembering and burning the body of my aunt's friend recently we learned dad was the one to find her and it was actually kind of funny how he shared in glorious detail how close he was to urinating on this poor woman sometimes you just got a laugh I didn't say that's she wrote that S -S -D -G -M, Phoebe and Laurel, your favorite murderinos.
[460] Oh, well, we never talk about that, but that is the, like, it is pretty horrifying that cops, their jobs.
[461] Yeah.
[462] Whereas, like, our job is to, like, read these things and to be funny and say funny things to each other, whatever.
[463] Their jobs are to go and experience the worst that humanity has to offer repeatedly.
[464] They need to find evidence that people are the worst fucking things in the God.
[465] damn fucking weird you gotta go out of your mind without humor yeah and you have to like and also just looking like they're looking for they know they're looking for a dead body they're walking around looking for the scariest thing you could find and if they don't find it two monsters probably will just live the rest of their lives free so like and also they'll get shot on you know what I mean it's like there's so you got to have you got you got to like be able to tell some stuff at the dinner table or you probably like drink yourself to death.
[466] Totally.
[467] Oh, man. So go ahead, law enforcement.
[468] Yes, you'll finally have our permission.
[469] The thing you've been waiting for all this time.
[470] Be lighthearted.
[471] And three.
[472] Your family.
[473] To make your family write us letters.
[474] That's right.
[475] I was going to say something else.
[476] Probably really important.
[477] And I forgot.
[478] Is it about how Stevens Percast is in that?
[479] Oprah magazine.
[480] Fucking, yeah.
[481] Hi, Steven.
[482] Your Oprah's breast friend.
[483] I hope so.
[484] If you haven't seen it, hopefully we've put it on all social media, but do you want to tell us about it?
[485] Sure, yeah.
[486] Yeah, my cat podcast, which a lot of people, I realize people comment and they're like, oh, I thought they were just joking about the student.
[487] I thought he was just, we were ringing fun of you or something.
[488] It's kind of a good slam.
[489] But everybody It's good It's called the Perkast I'm in an episode Go listen to my episode I talk about Elvis at Mimi for an hour and a half Yeah But yeah We were Oprah O Magazine reached out to us And asked us some questions And we're there Along alongside some other Pet Podcasts and stuff And we're just talking about cats It's huge Yeah I'm yeah I can't even like I want to go I want to call Barnes & Noble And be like Do you have the land It's me Stephen from the purrcast.
[490] Oh, Stephen?
[491] It's me, Stephen from Oprah Magazine.
[492] Did you tell like your family and everyone yet?
[493] And they're all they freaking out?
[494] Yeah, yeah.
[495] They're like, oh my gosh, this is a big deal.
[496] It's huge.
[497] It's a really big deal.
[498] I've subscribed on and off to O Magazine over the year.
[499] The more, if I have money, I will get it.
[500] Because if it's not, if not for you know, like leg exercises, I will never do.
[501] At least they do have like, here's a cute sweater, here's a cute lipstick.
[502] Or like positive articles about Amazing art. I love the cover because it's...
[503] Is it Oprah just having a great time?
[504] I mean, this one?
[505] She's on the cover.
[506] She's wearing a big, like, summery dress in a field, and it says, rise above.
[507] How to be a force for good in the world.
[508] Aw.
[509] I like that I'm on, that I'm in the issue.
[510] Yeah, it's not like how to be a monstrous person.
[511] How to kick ass to people straight into their teeth.
[512] That's Steven's...
[513] Pepper spray people.
[514] With Oprah.
[515] Yeah.
[516] Well, that's amazing.
[517] Congratulations.
[518] Yeah, that's big.
[519] Yeah, I'm excited to see who finds it.
[520] Yeah, what are some of your next steps for the percalf, even?
[521] I mean, if people want to give us free stuff to sponsor.
[522] What's your next step?
[523] Yeah, yeah.
[524] Just random free things.
[525] Yeah, yeah.
[526] No, not even cat stuff.
[527] I have, like, some broken patio chairs I can drop off to your house.
[528] How does that sound?
[529] I like that.
[530] Okay.
[531] Yeah, yeah.
[532] No, I mean, yeah, I just want to like, I just have fun talking to people about their pets so I love it because people don't really like all I want to do is talk about elephants maybe but like you can't really do that in polite society so like you're giving people like me and I think most cat owners a chance to just talk about their their cats eccentricities yeah unfiltered right yeah just totally go for it yeah yeah yeah and there's a lot of cool you have a lot of cool guests on there yeah yeah yeah a lot of good comedians and shit my problem is I because I used to have cats but and yeah you should be on it oh I didn't know um they're both dead now stephen but um we got one like um because she was old on purpose so it's like we knew she were just kind of like somewhere nice for her to live before she kicked it but um i'm so because i was raised on a farm i'm so unromantic about animals that any time people try to talk about anything i'm always like i don't know it's a pain in the ass like if someone's like my cat dart are you like that's uh oh like i mean no i get it because i understand understand that it's oftentimes it's about more.
[533] Yeah.
[534] But also I also understand that when you spend all your time with like a little thing that you have this an actual relationship with, I mean, I can't even think about my dogs.
[535] Sorry, but when by the time, like when Rory died, she was she needed to die.
[536] She was probably like 15 years old and she was like on a way out.
[537] I had a 20 year old cat.
[538] Did you really?
[539] Yeah.
[540] My cat Angus, when he died, he was like 16 or something.
[541] I feel like when they're outdoor like barn cats are like gonna live forever yeah is this boring anyone um well i mean i was gonna say are we stealing your format no no this is awesome um well no because we do end up talking about a lot of like death like yeah you end up being you're like oh like i mean all like half of my cats growing up are eaten by coyotes so it just becomes a thing that you just talk about like yeah and i don't know and a lot of times people the i think the best part about the perk ass is when people feel comfortable sharing those stories.
[542] I don't know.
[543] It's a big deal.
[544] It's like it just made me think of the very first cat we had growing up named Cecee, who just showed up at our back door and became our cat.
[545] They're the best.
[546] Cats are the best.
[547] They're pretty great.
[548] I love them.
[549] Dogs are great, but cats are fucking aliens.
[550] I'm pretty certain they're aliens.
[551] They're out of their minds.
[552] Except for Elvis right now.
[553] Elvis is mostly Elvis.
[554] Elvis is especially Elvis.
[555] Um, speaking of Elvis, hey, thanks for listening to my favorite murder minisode.
[556] This was an especially long and rambling minisode.
[557] Take out the mini and just have, just wear the sewed.
[558] And, but mostly stay sexy.
[559] And don't get murdered.
[560] Elvis, you know the word.
[561] You want a cookie?
[562] Ah!
[563] Good boy.
[564] Bye.
[565] Bye.