139 - A Hundred Feelings

[0] This is exactly right.

[1] Hey, this is exciting.

[2] An all -new season of only murders in the building is coming to Hulu on August 27th.

[3] Steve Martin, Martin Short, and Selena Gomez are back as your favorite podcaster, detectives.

[4] But there's a mystery hanging over everyone.

[5] Who killed Saz?

[6] And were they really after Charles?

[7] Why would someone want to kill Charles?

[8] This season, murder hits close to home.

[9] With a threat against one of their own, the stakes are higher than ever.

[10] Plus, the gang is going to Hollywood to turn their podcast into a major movie.

[11] Amid the glitz and glamour of Los Angeles, more mysteries and twists arise.

[12] Who knows what will happen once the cameras start to roll?

[13] Get ready for the stariest season yet with Merrill Streep, Zach Alfinacus, Eugene Levy, Eva Longoria, Melissa McCarthy, DeVine, Joy Randolph, Molly Shannon, and more.

[14] Only murders in the building, premieres August 27th, streaming only on Hulu.

[15] Goodbye.

[16] Hi.

[17] Hi.

[18] Welcome to the Choose Your Own Adventure podcast.

[19] My favorite murder.

[20] this is a true crime comedy podcast that you tune into week after week to find a good time good feelings fun friendship that's what we're here for yes yeah that's what's happening that's what's happening um what's going on with you well i guess i should start off with a humongous corrections corner haven't had one in a while i've this corrections corner is so big that i actually had to start it uh during the minisode that has already come out it It's that important, it's that big, it's going to change a lot of the policies around here.

[21] I made a terrible mistake during Georgia's murder the last time we recorded in -house, not the live show from Vegas last week, but the week before.

[22] Georgia was talking about British pedophiles.

[23] I'm not sure what was happening, but she was trying to think of the name of someone, and I jumped in knowing full well what the name.

[24] was, and I said that the name of a British pedophile, a famous British pedophile, was Jimmy Somerville.

[25] That is not correct.

[26] You got the name I was looking for, and I said, okay, and we moved on.

[27] You know, the only wrong part was that there was about five letters too many in the middle of that name.

[28] So close.

[29] Jimmy Saville is the terrible BBC presenter, maybe not even BBC, presenter who was also a horrifying pedophile.

[30] Jimmy Somerville, on the other hand, was the lead singer in the Bronsky beat, in the communards, in Bronsky beat.

[31] There's no the in front of Bronsky beat.

[32] And he is an incredibly talented musician, and by all accounts, a wonderful human being.

[33] By all hundreds and hundreds of accounts that people tweeted out of saying.

[34] Tweeted accounts, tweeted accounts of the British, they caught wind very quickly of a correction corner that had to happen.

[35] So my apologies to the Somerville family and estate to both Bronsky beat and the communards.

[36] I apologize.

[37] It was a terrible mistake.

[38] And in the future, Stephen, if we're having a conversation about, now, I don't want to blame Stephen, but I'm going to.

[39] If we're having a conversation about pedophiles, will you please double check any name I say?

[40] I guess when we guess a name of someone who is a terrible human being.

[41] and it's not like written down on a piece of paper.

[42] Just go ahead and throw it in Google.

[43] I've got the red pen.

[44] Thank you.

[45] Underline the name.

[46] And then throw it at us.

[47] Throw the red pen at us.

[48] And say stop improvising crime facts.

[49] Yeah.

[50] It's important.

[51] Yeah.

[52] I was positive when I said Jimmy Somerville that I was right.

[53] I was positive by the way you said Jimmy Somerville that you were right.

[54] You know why?

[55] Because I had a B -side of a communard single in college.

[56] where Jimmy Somerville sings, Zing went the strings of my heart so beautifully.

[57] I used to play it over and over in my dorm room, my short -lived dorm room.

[58] And I just felt such a connection that I wanted to call him a pedophile.

[59] You've been waiting to yell out his name with joy for so long and finally had an opportunity.

[60] It was just my chance.

[61] It was just a chance.

[62] You took it.

[63] It just happened to not be the right moment to yell.

[64] It happened to be the worst chance.

[65] that I could take.

[66] Yeah, it happened to just ruin everybody.

[67] And yelling his name out again in your life.

[68] Or any name, really.

[69] Here's a fun thing to talk about.

[70] We still have lots of subgroups that are unsung and unheralded.

[71] So in case you have interests that are aside from just this true crime podcast, there are other subgroups that you could join.

[72] We'll just name a couple for you right now.

[73] You're in a cult, call your corgi is one.

[74] Parsley, sage, rosemary, and crime.

[75] I don't know if that's, I'm hoping that's like a food cooking one.

[76] Is that what it is, Stephen?

[77] I love it.

[78] That's amazing.

[79] There's dragorinos, which is MFM meets Rupal's Drag Race.

[80] That's pretty awesome.

[81] That's good.

[82] There's Queer Eye for the Meritorino.

[83] And I, of course, I'm obsessed with Jonathan Van Ness from Queer Eye.

[84] So I love that.

[85] That's a good crossover.

[86] Of course there's the book, What if something bad happens?

[87] Anxiety Support Group.

[88] Who doesn't need that?

[89] Not me. I'm good.

[90] I'm all good.

[91] Don't worry about it.

[92] My favorite cucumber.

[93] What on earth could that be?

[94] Is that like vegans?

[95] It's just cucumbers.

[96] Stephen, are you joining these?

[97] It doesn't make sense.

[98] No, I didn't join that one.

[99] It was just in the description.

[100] It just said cucumbers and that's it.

[101] You just love cucumbers of any sort.

[102] We were actually watching videos the other day at work of, remember they got popular for a little while, the videos where you put a cucumber behind a cat and then when it turns around and sees it, it just jumps straight the fuck up in the air.

[103] Well, it turns out I'm the only one at work that thinks that's funny and everybody else was bummed out that it was me into cats.

[104] Oh, please.

[105] I was like, but it's, it's their instincts.

[106] They can't control it.

[107] They think it's a and that makes their feet shoot them directly into the air.

[108] I think it's a snake.

[109] I think they think it's a snake.

[110] They do have bananas too.

[111] Oh, really?

[112] Elvis is scared of bananas.

[113] He's terrified of bananas.

[114] Like, when you're at Christmas, when we have a Christmas tree, we surround it with bananas because otherwise he'll go eat the Christmas tree.

[115] Wow.

[116] And he'll just stay away.

[117] So like bananas are our new Christmas decoration.

[118] I wonder if he thinks that's like a really poisonous snake from the inner jungle.

[119] I think the smell of it is like really, really repulsive to him somehow.

[120] Like maybe it smells poisonous.

[121] I don't know.

[122] It's just personal preference.

[123] He's a cat.

[124] There's not a lot of explaining to do when it comes to cats.

[125] Or ways to figure it out.

[126] Here comes.

[127] But here comes a tweet about cat bananas.

[128] Get ready to have it explained to you.

[129] I want that explained to me. I know.

[130] And then of course there's murdering no beauty basket lotion.

[131] Which is just like, it's like, what's a fun way we could say something?

[132] Let's make that into a group.

[133] I like it.

[134] I mean, because.

[135] that could be it could be about beauty and keeping moisturized and loving silence of the lamps exactly there's so many look we all are so complex yeah we can contain multitudes we have we like two things not just one thing um i have listened this is a little bit off topic but i listened to a podcast this week that upset me so much have you listened to doctor death oh no everyone loves it okay it is telling me everything this isn't even a recommendation because it's huge.

[136] It's like every time I open my podcast app, it's the thing that's on there.

[137] It's like, if it were like, you guys should try the podcast cereal.

[138] Yes, everyone fucking knows it.

[139] But it's so good.

[140] It's from Wondry.

[141] It's really well made.

[142] It's very journalistic.

[143] But it is about, I never knew that I had any kind of a fear or phobia about botched surgery.

[144] And it's about a spinal surgeon who botches surgery after surgery.

[145] And it is about these two.

[146] these two other, they're neurosurgeons, because when you work on the spine, who go after him because they keep getting called in to fix his shit.

[147] Holy shit.

[148] And it is, I listened to, I was like, Georgia, I binged like three episodes and then realized I was literally holding onto the kitchen table.

[149] Because you're just standing there listening to a podcast now.

[150] And sweating and like freaking out.

[151] It's the thing of how does this keep, like that, when we get murder stories like that, I just can't handle it.

[152] It's like, why doesn't someone stop this?

[153] person from doing all these things well and the scary thing so i would say this too if you're going to listen to doctor death make sure you don't have claustrophobia issues like fear of surgery do not listen to this podcast if you're about to get surgery yeah if you're getting spinal surgery the next day don't try to go sleep no no no listening to the podcast don't fall asleep to this podcast like truly it's a warning but if you if all that is clear for you it is the best i mean i can't believe this story and these doctors that are in it it's the time period it's it's telling it's like old enough it just fucking happened in the 2000s i wanted to be like the 80s taking me like yeah they fucked up shit like that all the time exactly what uh we recorded with chris fairerbanks yesterday for do you need a ride and that's exactly what chris said he said when did it happen i said the 2000s and he goes i needed it to be the 80s yeah i needed to be like well they fucked everything up in the 80s look at us but here's the thing and this is kind of what's compelling about it it's about how when the the health care system is all for profit right and everybody's worried about making money and getting sued and that's all anyone cares about how much it fucks the patient and it's like the red and it's like the red tape that's there so that you can't just you know call out some other doctor like he fucks everything up but it's there for the good but then when it's it when it's it can't be used to get someone who should not be fucking doing these things yeah out of town that's exactly right that's that's what they talk about is no hospital would quote unquote fire this doctor because then he could turn around and sue them for for wrongful termination and for ruining their career so he just keeps getting let go and given like we we think you're great letters and he keeps getting sent to worse and worse neighborhoods where people can't fight where there's no money to fight doctors like that right and it is like it is as scary as any serial killer story we've ever told it's fucking so intense I was sweating like through my shirt where I was like I'm so unhappy and uncomfortable and I'm like oh yeah this podcast is is freaking the shit out of me. I don't know if I can listen to it right now.

[154] I don't know if I'm going to, I want to.

[155] I don't know if I can.

[156] Do you need a more uplifting?

[157] Yeah, is there a good uplifting one?

[158] Do you have one?

[159] Well, Jonathan Vanis is getting curious is, he's just such a lovely man. He's amazing.

[160] God, I love that person.

[161] And such a good host.

[162] Yeah.

[163] And like, truly curious.

[164] I mean, it's called getting curious.

[165] Right.

[166] Truly, he just sounds like he has his curiosity and it's, oh, how about the podcast?

[167] Everything is alive where this person, uh, Uh, interviews people, interviews objects as if they're people.

[168] There's like a bar of soap when I listened to recently that I was like, I'll put this on.

[169] I was like laying in bed and I just was laughing so hard.

[170] I couldn't fall asleep.

[171] So I had turned it off.

[172] That shit.

[173] What else do you have?

[174] Um, oh, I listened to Dave Chang's podcast.

[175] Um, he is the amazing chef from, oh, yeah.

[176] Who also is the host of ugly delicious and a bunch of stuff.

[177] He has a podcast now.

[178] And he interviews his friends because he wants to talk about, or from what I can gather, I've listened to two.

[179] But he likes talking about people who are successful kind of in the face of adversity or like that no one believes in.

[180] It's kind of like an underdog.

[181] How did you get to where you got type of podcast?

[182] And he's such a good interview.

[183] He's such a like passionate person.

[184] I just really like that guy.

[185] So that podcast is good.

[186] He's taken his career so far.

[187] He is.

[188] It's crazy.

[189] Truly so admirable.

[190] admirable admirable admirable not admirable he also is admirable oh wait there's one more but it's not light good i don't like love light okay it is the comprehensive story it's cbc's uncover escaping nexium and you love it here's the thing the host guy runs into a girl he went to high school with no in a park and she goes he goes what have you been up to she was i just escaped a cult So he then, the whole thing is he already had this relationship with her.

[191] He's known her since she was a teenager and she tells them the story of how she got involved in Nexiam, which is that cult that that actress from Smallville just got arrested and is being like, there's charges against her for like sex trafficking and all this crazy shit.

[192] And they like branded themselves and shit too.

[193] They were branded and she has a brand on her.

[194] This girl, it is.

[195] Someone was explaining to me that I had listened to the podcast how they got branded and how they did it with like a laser pointer, not like something normal, like a fucking safety pin.

[196] Yeah, well, not all it wants like a brand where it hurts once and then you're done.

[197] It took half an hour.

[198] And you could smell the flesh burning.

[199] Yes.

[200] And it's huge.

[201] And you have to listen to it.

[202] Because it's one thing for people to tell you about that cult, but this is a person from the inside being like and then this and then that.

[203] And the whole thing is based on like pyramid schemes.

[204] on the salesmanship thing.

[205] So it starts out as like, don't you want to improve your life and your career?

[206] Which, of course, everyone does, and that's normal.

[207] And then they basically blend you into suddenly you're a slave and the person, your mentor is your master.

[208] People to come to the cult and join it.

[209] And like, if you get five pyramids, you win the pyramid prize.

[210] The pyramid game.

[211] Yeah.

[212] It's so intense.

[213] It's really, really.

[214] another one that's really well done okay I'll listen to that that one I can do it yeah that one is and she's she got out yeah her husband got out okay great the family was in it was crazy Jesus that's bananas I know I'll listen to that um those ones are good there's been a lot of good stuff lately yeah anything else right now I've just been back at work so I don't right I just have been a little bit I listen to things on the way to and from work yeah and that's about it well we have one more episode left of uh fucking the sinner which i'm so this last season episode was so good it was so good kid the actor is so good i love him the little boy yeah julian julian and of course carrie coon oh my god who've started following us on facebook i mean on where are we twitter on twitter oh my god that's right it's really her it's like her cool assistant who's like it's her cool assistant is right she doesn't follow people she doesn't have time she's in every tv show she's in every show she like has look to Twitter.

[215] She's killing it.

[216] She's like Michelle, my assistant, who's cool, do stuff on Twitter.

[217] Right.

[218] You're naming her assistant Michelle?

[219] Uh -huh.

[220] Oh, okay.

[221] Yeah.

[222] That was such a natural piece of dialogue that I thought you had an assistant named Michelle.

[223] No. My assistant named Michelle is DVR and Carrie Coons's TV show for me. Um, no, I love it.

[224] It's so good.

[225] Mm -hmm.

[226] I know.

[227] I'm going to, that's one I'm going to be sad when it's over.

[228] Me too.

[229] Yeah.

[230] Maybe there'll be another season though.

[231] Yeah, I hope so.

[232] And I figured out, we were looking it up um i think it worked because it was we were talking about it one of the guys that directs the sinner was a producer on that independent movie martha marcy may marlene which was was is elizabeth um oh thank you steven olson elizabeth olson the child molester oh no no no the great actress elizabeth olson who um in that independent movie is herself in a cult gets out.

[233] It's one of the best movies.

[234] If you haven't seen that movie, it is so fucking creepy.

[235] What's I call Mary Mat Moxley?

[236] Martha Marcy May Marlene is the name of the movie.

[237] And it's similar in terms of the look and the feel to the center.

[238] Okay.

[239] And so I just love when things connect like that.

[240] We're like, I like this and I like that.

[241] Of course the person made that.

[242] Yeah.

[243] Okay, that's fun.

[244] Yeah.

[245] I dig that.

[246] Karen, you know I'm all about vintage shopping.

[247] Absolutely.

[248] And when you say vintage, you mean when you physically drive to a store and actually purchase something with cash.

[249] Exactly.

[250] And if you're a small business owner, you might know Shopify is great for online sales.

[251] But did you know that they also power in -person sales?

[252] That's right.

[253] Shopify is the sound of selling everywhere, online, in store, on social media, and beyond.

[254] Give your point -of -sale system a serious upgrade with Shopify.

[255] From accepting payments to managing inventory, they have everything you need to sell in person.

[256] So give your point -of -sale system a serious upgrade with Shopify.

[257] Their sleek, reliable POS hardware takes everything.

[258] major payment method and looks fabulous at the same time.

[259] With Shopify, we have a powerful partner for managing our sales, and if you're a business owner, you can too.

[260] Connect with customers in line and online.

[261] Do retail right with Shopify.

[262] Sign up for a $1 per month trial period at Shopify .com slash murder.

[263] Important note, that promo code is all lowercase.

[264] Go to Shopify .com slash murder to take your retail business to the next level today.

[265] That's Shopify .com slash murder.

[266] Goodbye.

[267] Hey, this is exciting.

[268] An all -new season of only murders in the building is coming to Hulu on August 27th.

[269] Steve Martin, Martin Short, and Selena Gomez are back as your favorite podcaster, detectives.

[270] But there's a mystery hanging over everyone.

[271] Who killed Saz?

[272] And were they really after Charles?

[273] Why would someone want to kill Charles?

[274] This season, murder hits close to home.

[275] With a threat against one of their own, the stakes are higher than ever.

[276] Plus, the gang is going to Hollywood to turn their podcast into a major movie.

[277] Amid the glitz and glamour of Los Angeles, more.

[278] mysteries and twists arise.

[279] Who knows what will happen once the cameras start to roll?

[280] Get ready for the stariest season yet with Merrill Streep, Zach Alfanakis, Eugene Levy, Eva Longoria, Melissa McCarthy, Devine, Joy Randolph, Molly Shannon, and more.

[281] Only Martyrs in the Building premieres August 27th, streaming only on Hulu.

[282] Goodbye.

[283] Who goes first this week?

[284] I think it's me. No, it's, uh...

[285] Oh, because Vegas was last week.

[286] Yeah, yeah.

[287] Ted Binion.

[288] Well, sure.

[289] Ted Binion.

[290] I'll go ahead and go first.

[291] Well, then sure.

[292] Why not?

[293] I'll try it.

[294] This is one of those murders that normally wouldn't have even probably look twice out, but it's in so many of those weird small town murder lists.

[295] Every time you see one of those lists, this murder comes up in it.

[296] Okay.

[297] So I just thought so many times that I was finally like, okay, I'm going to look into this a little bit.

[298] And it's weird for sure.

[299] And it also like kind of, it deviates.

[300] So this is the Coons family murders.

[301] family murder.

[302] K -U -N -Z, this is, it takes place in a small town of Wisconsin, and it's on every one of those, like, small -town murders, you haven't heard about that fucking rock this small town.

[303] And you also haven't heard of this small town.

[304] Okay.

[305] You know what I mean?

[306] Yes.

[307] Is it, Wisconsin, remember when we drove, we were separate, but we drove from like somewhere to somewhere else in Wisconsin for the Madison show.

[308] Probably, maybe I was with Michelle Balloon and you and Vince drove together.

[309] And we stopped, didn't we stop at, um, at that big barn?

[310] The Ozark land.

[311] Maybe.

[312] Oh, that was the way home.

[313] Okay.

[314] But anyway, I've just immediately, my mind is like, when you're in, in like small town, Wisconsin, you're far away.

[315] Yeah.

[316] From things.

[317] Yeah.

[318] Yeah.

[319] And people.

[320] And this is this.

[321] This is here.

[322] Okay.

[323] So I got a lot of information from, uh, this website called mysterious heartland .com.

[324] And it's an article run by guy named Scott Whitman.

[325] And I think I've used this website a few times because it's kind of like, you can't find a lot of details about these murders.

[326] It's like, you know, number 10 on this list.

[327] So you don't, it's just two paragraphs.

[328] But this is actually a long article.

[329] And then there's a couple of really good comments that like list theories and shit too.

[330] Oh, okay.

[331] So it's cool.

[332] You love that small town gossip.

[333] Dude, I mean, that's the best way to fill in any story.

[334] It's all true.

[335] It's all true.

[336] Yeah.

[337] You know.

[338] So this is a town called Athens in, um, it's a quaint rural town in north central Wisconsin.

[339] and the population is a little under a thousand people.

[340] Oh shit.

[341] So it's fucking small town for sure.

[342] It's like a post office.

[343] It's a post office.

[344] It's less than two and a half square miles in size.

[345] Like that's fucking it.

[346] The like little town where the post office is.

[347] The teenagers just drive around the outside of town every Friday night.

[348] Right.

[349] Donuts in the fields.

[350] Cows tipping.

[351] I don't know what people do.

[352] Cows tipping teenagers over.

[353] Yeah, cows tipping cars over.

[354] You know, mayhem.

[355] It's got that small town atmosphere.

[356] There's, of course, a close sense of community, which is why on the night of the 4th of July, 1987, the whole town of under 1 ,000 people, is shocked when five members of a family are all murdered, all shot in the head in their home with a 22 -caliable rifle, fucking execution style.

[357] Everyone's just like, wait, what?

[358] This is insane.

[359] Like, shit like that doesn't happen here.

[360] So the Coons is, I'll tell you about them.

[361] They're reclusive, super reclusive, kind of like the town, like, these are the, this is the weird town, don't go to their house people.

[362] Oh.

[363] They're like weird and creepy.

[364] They live together in a dilapidated old farmhouse in the outskirts of Athens on 108 -acre farm.

[365] And the family's made up of four elderly siblings who live in this farmhouse.

[366] Irene is 81, Clarence is 76, Maria 72, and the youngest sibling is Helen, who's 70.

[367] They all live together?

[368] in this dilapidated farmhouse.

[369] Brothers and sisters in their 80s and 70s.

[370] You just took it into Creep Zone 5.

[371] Well, okay, so there's this episode of that was only aired once of X -Files that they, everyone says it's based on this family and it's creepy and weird and they took it.

[372] And it's like, it's not creepy in like alien ways.

[373] It's creepy in like what?

[374] Yes, it's called home.

[375] Is Jack Black in it?

[376] You remember?

[377] Is this the one where they?

[378] the boys are playing baseball and they step on something and blood comes out of the ground.

[379] It's, I know that's the episode of Giovanni Ribisi where there's like lightning.

[380] Okay.

[381] But home, yeah, I just got chills when you mentioned that episode.

[382] Here, let me read.

[383] It's so scary.

[384] Let me read the description of it.

[385] Do you remember it's because it's really hard to find you can't.

[386] It's hard to find online.

[387] They, like, as soon as it air, they got so many complaints because it was so creepy that they took it down.

[388] Was there something under a dresser?

[389] Yeah, there was like a, yeah.

[390] They kept the mom under the.

[391] Yes.

[392] Yes.

[393] Okay, okay.

[394] Let me read you the description of it.

[395] And I couldn't even find it.

[396] I wanted to watch it and I couldn't find it.

[397] It's home as a second episode of the fourth season of X -Files, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, it aired in 1996.

[398] It's a monster of the week story, a standalone plot unconnected.

[399] The initial broadcast, it was the only first episode of the X -Files to receive a viewer discretion warning for graphic content and the only have carried a TVMA rating.

[400] So, yeah, it's just essentially just a creepy family story.

[401] but it's not it sounds similar but it's not it wasn't apparently based on this story okay but everyone thinks it is um so the four elderly siblings live there and they also live there with helen who's the youngest sibling her two adult sons okay Randy is 30 and he lives in the farmhouse with his aunts and uncle's uncle and mom and then Kenneth is 55 he lives on a trailer on the property he's like I'm not fucking staying with these people so So, their ramshackle farmhouse has no running water and no indoor plumbing at all, where they all live together.

[402] They use an outhouse and all the food is cooked on an old wood burning stove, which also is used to heat the house.

[403] This is in the 80s.

[404] Uh -huh.

[405] Okay.

[406] The family keeps to themselves.

[407] They don't, they don't like party with her friends and shit.

[408] They don't party.

[409] Then fuck them, man. Yeah, they don't like to hang and party and, you know, have, I don't know, socials and tougher -or parties and go to, fish fries near town make a hot dish got it you know um and they're known to be hoarders which includes a large collection of pornography they're like super and i hate to talk ill in the dead because i'm not like they were gross on this and that it's like these were the rumors and they were actually like confirmed to be true once the family died and they went through the house not common though to have family collections of pornography that's different than the usual yeah because it's like everyone like something else it's how you agree on what movie to watch that's right you know it's it's hard enough to just with a standard movie.

[410] Action, drama, right, romance.

[411] Porn.

[412] Um, so the fan, they have a huge collection of porn including mail order VHS tapes because that's how you had to get porn back then, probably especially in fucking rural, rural Wisconsin.

[413] That's right.

[414] Right?

[415] And magazines and they're, but they're hoarders.

[416] So it's like everywhere.

[417] And then, uh, the family would watch the tapes together.

[418] No. Mm -hmm.

[419] And then there's rumors also that there was incestuous happenings.

[420] well that one would beget the other right one would think that's right yeah yeah i mean you can stop now and this is one of the creepier stories that we've ever told yeah it's it's definitely got some things uh it's also rumored and found to be true after the murders that there are large amounts of cash like hidden around the house they're hidden in drawers in boxes under floorboards and it's just like huge like like 20 grand is talked about being like found in one place.

[421] But it's weird because there's only one member of the family, one of the sons, Kenneth, who actually has a job.

[422] No one else has a job because they're fucking 81 years old and shit.

[423] And they don't have running water, but they have all this cash everywhere.

[424] God.

[425] Is someone selling porn out of like a back window?

[426] That's a great question.

[427] You can walk by, hold up a $5 bill.

[428] Right.

[429] But they don't want anyone to get that close, do they?

[430] I don't know.

[431] I don't know.

[432] Maybe they have one of those grabbers from the store.

[433] Great.

[434] Yeah, I love those.

[435] A high shelf grabber.

[436] I need one of those.

[437] As someone with a tall husband, it's like, I need to make a video of me trying to get something down from the fucking cupboard when Vince is like, putting the crackers here.

[438] And it's like three feet taller than me. Oh, and speaking of crackers, Kenneth, who the only one had a job, worked at a cheese factory.

[439] Oh.

[440] Which I'm like, sign me up.

[441] That sounds fun.

[442] It smells bad, though.

[443] I bet.

[444] You're right, yeah.

[445] Okay.

[446] So none of the siblings had ever, none of the older siblings had ever married, but Helen had these two sons.

[447] She had given birth to her first son, Kenneth, when she was 15.

[448] And she said that the pregnancy was a result of their, the family's neighbor, a dude who's 40 years old named Frank Gumbs, he's a convicted bootleggar.

[449] And she said he raped her and she got pregnant with Kenneth, who she had at 15.

[450] Frank was tried and convicted shortly after Helen gave birth and he was sent to prison.

[451] And he died after he served 18 months.

[452] He had denied that he had ever had sex or raped either way with Helen.

[453] Wow.

[454] Years later, Helen gave birth to her other younger son, Randy, wouldn't name who the father was.

[455] Hey, related, let's talk about sleeping arrangements at the farmhouse.

[456] Oh, no. They're weird.

[457] Helen and her youngest son slept in the same bed together.

[458] And Clarence, who's the 81 -year -old uncle dude, he sleeps in the living room with his other two sisters.

[459] Irene and Marie they all sleep like it's kind of like um willie Wonka everyone in the bed together yeah that's what it sounds like yeah and I actually looked trying to find a photos of I can't find any photos of the family but I could find photos of the farmhouse and you look at it and you're like if someone told me that that was like a quaint villa in Italy I'd be like oh my god it's a quaint and cute but then you're like no no that's like a farmhouse that's falling apart it's like weird so it kind of looks almost maybe historic or something it looks very old and very like quaintly you know dilapidated and then it's like not quaintly dilapidated it's just dilapidated and there's just people spooning each other all over the inappropriate place inside and that's not quaint either no it isn't you can put the word quaint in front of a lot of shit and it makes it okay does it that's not one of them no yeah um so kenneth who's the one is like absolutely not living uh in the house he lives on his own trailer he ends up spoiler alert being the only surviving member of the family, he doesn't die in those executions.

[460] Oh, shit.

[461] So he's still alive, and he later claims that his father was not the rapy neighbor, but his own uncle Clarence.

[462] Oh, no. He's like, she, that was my fucking dad.

[463] He also thinks that it was his younger brother's dad, too.

[464] And he also said that he had seen Helen and his uncle Clarence engaged in sexual activity when he was a kid.

[465] Oh, no. So, like, he's the one who's saying that there's incest stuff going on.

[466] Yeah, he would know.

[467] I wrote, it's like if the grandparents from Willy Wonka moved into the psycho house.

[468] Oh, no. And everyone just kind of lost their, lost it.

[469] Yeah.

[470] No more fun songs and pajama stuff.

[471] Nothing cute about it.

[472] No. So the murders occurred on the 4th of July, as I said in 1987.

[473] The town had their big fireworks show celebration.

[474] I don't know what to call it.

[475] And then, what do they call it?

[476] Celebration sounds good.

[477] show fireworks display a show makes me think of people kind of doing like line kicks and right which they absolutely could have up in ath yeah they could have had the like the guy plays uh abe lincoln yeah for some reason abe lincoln would be there for sure you know like a yeah like a fourth of july parade yeah a big tall ablincoln oh and then there are pets that have like that get dressed up to yeah probably a town queen yeah the probably maybe the um cheese factory queen Yeah.

[478] The cheese factory princess.

[479] The Wisconsin Cheese Factory Athens Princess.

[480] And she rides on a rolling wheel of cheese right down the main street.

[481] She throws cheese curds to the audience.

[482] And they're nothing.

[483] The spectators.

[484] Yeah, the spectators who love cheese curds.

[485] Well, who doesn't?

[486] This is one of the greatest holidays in this country.

[487] Let's go this year to Athens.

[488] Say what thing we made up?

[489] Yes.

[490] I'm like, why, where is it?

[491] Why only have it?

[492] Where's fucking A. Blinken?

[493] You and they were like, it was never a thing.

[494] you fucking idiots with your stupid podcast to just believe in shit, just showed up here.

[495] In the movie, there's going to be a Fourth of July parade.

[496] Absolutely.

[497] With a giant Abe Lincoln.

[498] And we'll be there.

[499] And we'll be there writing it.

[500] So Helen and her younger son, Randy, had been last seen leaving this parade.

[501] That's not an existing parade.

[502] It's not an exas of a parade.

[503] The Fourth of July show.

[504] Yes.

[505] It is corroborated that they were last seen leaving this made up thing.

[506] And sorry, it's the youngest son and the mother?

[507] The youngest son and the mother.

[508] Yeah.

[509] And so their last scene leaving that.

[510] I already said that.

[511] Okay.

[512] So sometime that night, after they get home from the parade, and someone broke into their decrepit home and shoots the family execution style.

[513] They're not discovered until the next morning when the other son, Kenneth, who has the job, when he comes home at around 5 a .m. and discovers the body of his aunt's uncle and brother.

[514] Okay.

[515] So, Aunt Marie is 72.

[516] She's found on the steps just going into the house, like maybe running into the house.

[517] His Kenneth brother, Randy, is 30.

[518] He's laying on the kitchen floor dead.

[519] Irene is sitting in a chair in the living room, having been shot.

[520] And Clarence, his maybe uncle, maybe dad is discovered in his bed shot.

[521] They had all been shot twice in the head with a 22 caliber rifle.

[522] And his mother, Helen, is fucking nowhere to be found.

[523] Whoa.

[524] Yeah.

[525] And she's gone.

[526] Where is she?

[527] And when I get to that part, I, you know, when I hadn't known about the story, I'm like, oh, she killed them all.

[528] Like, what's going to happen?

[529] She didn't.

[530] But listen.

[531] So suspicion initially falls on Kenneth, the son who found them.

[532] But police rule him out quickly because he has an extremely low IQ and he has trouble answering questions from the detectives and is painfully shy.

[533] I don't know how that would rule you out from murdering someone.

[534] but I'm hoping that they they figured it out shyness shyness would just rule you out entirely being really stupid and shy you'd be too shy to approach anyone with a gun yeah and I'm too my IQ is too low to figure out how to shoot a gun I don't know maybe maybe the cops it's also the thing of like small town police where they're like we know these we know this guy he could never do it because we've we've known him it's fucking Kenneth he works at the cheese place yeah he goes to you know he everyone knows it's not him.

[535] The community is shocked at the Grissom murders, of course, and they're like, we got to find Helen.

[536] Like, maybe she was kidnapped and she's still alive.

[537] We need to find her.

[538] They create t -shirts and buttons with, where's Helen on them to help find her?

[539] And they leave a massive search, the police, search the fields, forest, swamp land on the 108 -acre farm of the Coons family, as well as the property and wetlands surrounding it.

[540] So I think it's just all rural shit.

[541] And they're just like trying to find this body or this person.

[542] Yeah.

[543] Especially equipped FBI airplane also scans the area.

[544] Well, the abandoned shacks are inspected.

[545] Garden is dug up on the farmland.

[546] Uh, neighbors are interrogated, but everyone was kind of like, they, they kept to themselves.

[547] Nobody knew them.

[548] No one was like, pretty much nobody ever went to that house or was allowed in the house.

[549] You know, they were like, very secretive, uh, and reclusive.

[550] So they have no friends at all either to speak of.

[551] Wow.

[552] But, uh, Helen's Your only friend was porn.

[553] Oh.

[554] Which we know is a fickle, fickle friend.

[555] She's a fickle lady that porn.

[556] That's right.

[557] Her disappearance becomes a nationwide search and over the next couple months because they feel like finding her is going to find out what happened.

[558] That's like the only way because they can't figure out why anyone would want to kill this reclusive family who had anything against them.

[559] And so residents are like speculating that she did it or that, you know, she's on the run or she's kidnapped.

[560] Everyone's, of course, like, trying to figure out what happened.

[561] And they do find out, too, that the week before the murder, she had purchased a 22, she had purchased 22 caliber bullets, which are the same type of ammo used for the murders from the local hard word store and that she had had a conversation with the clerk who was like, what are these for?

[562] Which I guess is a question that's okay to ask when someone's buying bullets.

[563] Might as well.

[564] I mean, you should probably.

[565] Yeah.

[566] And she said that they were for her son, Randy, who was going to kill some blackbirds that were on the property.

[567] But speculation then comes to a halt Because nine months after the night of the murders Helen's skeletal remains are found Near a creek about 19 miles from the home In Medford, Wisconsin Just as her siblings and son She had been shot in the head And it only complicates this baffling case But the murder investigation Then starts to focus on a 22 -year -old local car thief And like fucking like nefarious ne 'er -do -well kid named Chris Jacobs.

[568] So he's kind of this troublemaker, you know, so of course the cops turn to him and are like, did, you know, did you do it?

[569] And they find out that he's one of the few non -family members to ever interact with the Coonseses at their home.

[570] So he had been in their home before, apparently.

[571] And it makes him the prime suspect.

[572] He was there because he had purchased some old cars from the Coonses in the recent past.

[573] And when questioned by police, he had no alibi for the time, what they suspected was the time of the murders, which was 1030, but like, who knows if that's correct.

[574] He was in his car the night of the murders and then he went home.

[575] His mother's like, he was totally home with me. And I remember that night because he helped his mother give birth to a calf.

[576] The mother didn't give her to the calf.

[577] But the calf was birthed.

[578] Thank you.

[579] I don't know how to say that.

[580] And they lived about eight miles from the home.

[581] And he's like, it wasn't me. And they were, then they found tire tracks left on the Coons's property that matched one of a tire or a car that he had on his property.

[582] But he was like, yeah, I fucking fix old cars up.

[583] So there's like a ton, like there's a reason that that, of course you're going to find a tire like that.

[584] And then it comes out that the tires are pretty common under different names, but they still are like, nope, we think it's you.

[585] And they take him, they arrest him and take him to trial after the murders.

[586] So the prosecution's argument is that when Chris had gone to buy the car, he had noticed that there was money everywhere, even though the defense was like, well, the money was hidden everywhere, but maybe he knew it was there.

[587] And he told a witness that he intended to get his hands on it.

[588] But investigators found that like 20 fucking grand in cash after the murders at the crime scene.

[589] And the defense said that it was like laying out, but prosecution said it, or no, wait, prosecution, you know, but maybe it was laying out, maybe it wasn't.

[590] We don't really know.

[591] The defense has a theory that Randy and his family were shot as a result of a drug deal gone bad.

[592] So it was known around town that Randy, the son who was killed, was dealing drugs in the area.

[593] And at the trial, the defense brought a witness who claims that he had purchased cocaine from Randy in the past.

[594] And it was also, well, it was, the area was in a drug crisis at the time as fucking.

[595] every area was in the 80s.

[596] A local woman testified that the night of the murder, so she's going through this, she's driving through an intersection about 100 meters, 100 feet, close to the, close to the crime scene.

[597] A hundred arms length?

[598] Yeah, 100 baby steps.

[599] Yeah, 100 paper clips.

[600] A way.

[601] 100 feelings.

[602] 100 blinks.

[603] Got it.

[604] From the crime scene.

[605] So she's driving through this intersection and it's like a rural area.

[606] And so she's driving through And she sees that there's a car, just a truck parked by the side of the road facing in the area where Kenny would have had to drive up the area, the direction he would have been coming from if, like, after she's factory work, if you were coming home.

[607] Okay.

[608] And it looked like they were waiting to, like, for a car to come home.

[609] And so she sees the car going through the intersection.

[610] She looks to see who's in the car, but the car shines a light in her face.

[611] So she can't see anything who's in the car or anything like that.

[612] And she says, I know, I know.

[613] like if that happened you where you were like I wonder what this is already and then the person's already yeah they're like we don't want you to know and then as she's driving past the Coombs farm the fucking truck turns around starts to follow her and she's like oh shit but as soon as she passes the farm the car goes back and sits back in the road it's like clearly they're waiting to see who's coming by it's not just someone pulled over like making out or whatever like taking a nap and the car doesn't match the description of the dude on trial his car so the defense's theory is that Randy had planned to meet his suppliers that night and pay them the money that he owed them for the drugs that he had been selling.

[614] And Randy, the kid, the son who was dead, they think that Kenny, the brother who was alive, who had the cheese factory job who wasn't very smart, that he had given Kenny some drugs to sell at the cheese factory.

[615] And so that Kenny had, and then it's also known that Kenny had large amounts of cash on him that night, the night the 4th of July and he bought a huge amount of fireworks and I mean what would you do clearly with a huge amount of cash on 4th of July absolutely pick a little Pete's for everybody right but he never set them off and then he went to a bar and bought more fireworks and like bought alcohol that night and was like hanging out and drinking so like why does he have this huge amount of money on him maybe he spent the drug money that he was supposed to go give to his brother not knowing that the brother like owed a debt to these drug dealers and the drug dealers like we're going to fucking wait here till your brother gets home.

[616] Don't lie to us.

[617] Like, we're going to get this cash.

[618] And meanwhile, he's out just, just binging fireworks.

[619] Binging fireworks and alcohol.

[620] And then maybe he was like, oh, shit, if I go home right now, my brother's going to know I spent all this money.

[621] I'm just going to sleep it off in the car.

[622] And so he sleeps in his car that night, which is why he didn't get home until 5 a .m. to find his family dead.

[623] Oh, no. So they think that maybe what happened was the drug dealers were like, this is taking forever.

[624] Like, let's go in.

[625] We know you have money hidden in the house.

[626] Let's go in there.

[627] They go in.

[628] They go in.

[629] there.

[630] Maybe they take Helen in the car to wait with them, like kind of hostage.

[631] Oh, right.

[632] And when they didn't show up, maybe they took Randy and his mother hostage and then wait at the intersection.

[633] They don't show up.

[634] They go in the house.

[635] There's maybe a fight that breaks out and then the suppliers kill everyone in the house so there's no witnesses.

[636] They come back to their car where the mother is hanging out, doesn't know what's going on.

[637] They drive away and they kill her and leave in this remote swamp and they kill her and leave her body there.

[638] So like that's how why, like, because why would she not have been in the house is always this weird question, you know?

[639] Right.

[640] Like, why take the one person somewhere off campus and kill them?

[641] Right.

[642] But leave all these other bodies just out.

[643] Yeah, that's super weird.

[644] And so that's a good way to explain why she was found in a different location.

[645] Yeah.

[646] And the only one who was.

[647] Right?

[648] Yeah.

[649] So, um, there's no fingerprints or footprints at the scene, which is weird.

[650] because there was tire prints and chris's car had no bloodstain the guy who's on trial has no bloodstain or any evidence that helen or randy had ever been in the car and uh because of all of this the trial is super brief and because of the circumstantial case against him he's acquitted for lack of evidence oh good just like great yeah but hold on oh wait there's more okay after trial the case grows cold and the police aren't able to find more promising suspects they're still they still think it's this kid this dude, Chris.

[651] But until, that is until 1993, five years after the killing, this dude Chris Jacobs' ex -girlfriend, Stacey Weiss, comes forward and she's like, oh, I forgot to tell you guys this.

[652] My ex -boyfriend, Jacob, Chris Jacobs, admitted to shooting the family.

[653] He said he did it.

[654] Oh, no. He told me that.

[655] But she had been recently caught in Minnesota as an accessory to robbery, and she had threatened when Chris broke up with her to get back at him.

[656] So she basically had this bargaining chip.

[657] Yeah.

[658] Okay.

[659] He told me he killed them all.

[660] Right.

[661] And they're like, well, you're like, well, wait, like that doesn't, that doesn't sound right.

[662] And he had already gotten acquitted from this case.

[663] So we can't try him again.

[664] There's double jeopardy while they arrest him again.

[665] Oh.

[666] And they're like, well, we're not arresting him and prosecuting him for the murders.

[667] It's one day before the statute of limitations runs out on kidnapping that they they arrest him for Kellyn's kidnapping and take him to trial for the kidnapping.

[668] Oh, shit.

[669] One day before the statute of limitations.

[670] And he's charged with her abduction.

[671] And his trial, this time for a different crime, he is convicted.

[672] Oh, God.

[673] Based primarily on the same tire track evidence, but they had, they said it had been, quote, enhanced by the FBI.

[674] So somehow, like, looking at the tire threats closer, were they were able to match it to the tire this time?

[675] Okay.

[676] Don't worry about it.

[677] And then after he gets convicted, his ex -girlfriend is never brought to, her charges are never brought up on robbery.

[678] So it's like, okay.

[679] So the defense said that, oh, the defense's only argument in this trial is that it was Helen that killed her family and then later dated into a swamp and committed suicide.

[680] So clearly his defense.

[681] wasn't he didn't he didn't have the money to get anybody good for that second trial yeah that second trial he had spent all his money on that first one he had like the the lawyer with the flask in his pocket yeah i'm gonna think of your honor your honor can i talk to you privately your honor have a secret i just to quit secret really quick sidebar cyber secret the drunk lawyer everybody the drunk lawyer uh so he's found guilty he receives a 31 year sentence fuck yeah and he is scheduled to be released in february of 2020 so he's just been serving i mean like that's just like that's it for he got served fuck and so he was like 27 when that happened yeah so he was 21 when the murders took place yeah horrifying um and like the whole like all the rumor like there's all these people who were like everyone knows it wasn't this everyone knows it's like either the in town like the cops were corrupt or that everyone knows it was these drug dealers and it was more than one person, which sounds like if you're going to kill four people or five people, yeah, you're going to fucking, it's got to be more than one person.

[682] One would think two people.

[683] Yes, because it would be really hard to just walk through and kill everybody.

[684] Also, and farms like that, they all have guns.

[685] They have shotguns in the house.

[686] Very common.

[687] Yes.

[688] It's, that's like a necessary tool on a big old ranch.

[689] Well, it just makes sense that there's one person who's, you know, keeping everyone where they are with one gun and the other person shooting them.

[690] Yeah.

[691] I mean, or like two people.

[692] At least.

[693] At least two people.

[694] May, I mean, that's, that's the theory that I think makes sense, but who knows.

[695] Um, okay, so that's what's going on with this guy Chris Jacobs.

[696] And it turns out, looking back into the Coonses family, this tragic fucking thing that happened to them.

[697] And it's like, no matter how insane and incestuous they were, they didn't deserve to be fucking killed execution style.

[698] No. You know, in their own home and not have anyone really ever get brought to justice for it.

[699] It sucks.

[700] And it turns out that this isn't the first time, but there's a murder tragedy in the fucking Coonses family.

[701] So let's go way back to 1905 when these siblings, these five siblings, their parents are living, the parents are named Ignautz and Anna, and they live with Ignautz's mother, Mary, in her home in Manitowic, Wisconsin.

[702] Okay.

[703] And that's where the, uh, okay, that's a, making a, murderer.

[704] That's right.

[705] So Anna, the wife, comes home one day and finds her mother -in -law, her husband's mother, fucking dead in her bed.

[706] She had been bludgeoned to death by her, by her husband's brother.

[707] Whoa.

[708] So that son, that son is sent to live, uh, who also lived in the home with the family.

[709] That son's lived, sent to a fucking insane asylum where he lives out his days alongside his other, another brother who had already fucking been institutionalized before the murder of his mother occurred.

[710] So those two brothers are hanging out in this fucking institution.

[711] One of the brothers have bludgeoned his mother to death.

[712] Whoa.

[713] So Ignaz and Anna are like, shit, man, this sucks.

[714] They moved to Marathon County, which is where I think where Athens is.

[715] He works for a logging company.

[716] They have these children.

[717] They're raised in an 18 by 20, crudely built log cabin.

[718] They're poor as fuck.

[719] They don't go to school.

[720] They only have each other to rely on.

[721] And they stay that way, living together in a farmhouse until 1980.

[722] when they're all killed together.

[723] Whoa.

[724] And that's the fucking creepy, weird small town murder story of the Coon's family.

[725] Good.

[726] I know.

[727] Now, let's all go track down the X -Files home episode and watch it.

[728] If someone has it, please send it to us on DVD or some shit.

[729] I don't know.

[730] I'll tell you that just the one scene I remember from that, there are things that scuttle on the ground under, from like under a bed to under a dresser.

[731] People say it's very Texas Chantown Massacery, which is another one of those.

[732] this like they say it's similar to this story too it's just like this weird family of people who might be inbred and it's all creepy they live together and there's no reason to not have electricity and running water there's no especially 20 grand in cash yeah no it's there's something about that that's very like something's happening the dynamic and that family's happening where it's like they refuse to go to be like we're too poor for running water it's like great that sucks we totally get it but like you have fucking cash hidden around your house and you don't have a toilet Do you think they forgot about the money because there was so much porn, they would just get distracted.

[733] Every time they'd be like, we can get up, oh, no, look at this.

[734] Oh, man. Look at this filthy thing.

[735] Yeah, or like, we don't want the electrician to come out here because he'll see all our porn.

[736] There's nowhere to put the porn.

[737] Yeah.

[738] We can't move the porn to put in pipes.

[739] The hoarding, the hoarding situation alone is like, you can't expect normal shit from people who are hoarders.

[740] It's like...

[741] It sounds like untreated mental illness was the, was the song this family liked to sing.

[742] way back in the day.

[743] So it's almost like the stigma of it where it's like keep it all in.

[744] Don't let anybody see.

[745] And that's how terrible, weird, you know, house holds full of no lights and no running water start happening.

[746] That's right.

[747] Oh, it's so crazy.

[748] One big bed in the living room and that's it.

[749] And here's young Georgia and young Karen driving in a car and we're out of gas.

[750] I guess we have to walk over to that farmhouse over the.

[751] We were on our way to the parade.

[752] Whoops.

[753] We ran out of gas.

[754] We were going to be in the big show, but now we ran out of gas.

[755] We'll walk over there in the snow.

[756] Karen was going to get crowned.

[757] The fucking cheese factory princess.

[758] I was finally going to make it happen.

[759] That was horrifying.

[760] Thank you.

[761] Good job.

[762] Thanks.

[763] I mean, this is what we do.

[764] That's what we've decided to do.

[765] It's like, and it's hard to not think of, now I will think of that story every time I drive by any house that's just off the road that looks like they might not have lights.

[766] All right.

[767] This is my murder as I was finishing it up before I came over here.

[768] I started thinking about a time in your old apartment where I was like, has Georgia done this one?

[769] The details started coming together.

[770] But I don't think it is.

[771] We've just talked about it maybe.

[772] No. I think there are so many stories like this.

[773] Yeah.

[774] that it's very similar but you please red flag me the second you think it's the same i'm not going to because then and then what the episode's over no then we just talk about other stuff yeah yeah i don't think it is though okay it's just another one of these stories who who will know if i'll even remember i mean let's just see it's the truth this is the murder of joan dolly D -A -W -L -E -Y Let's start Okay It happens in Silmar, California, 1991 I don't think I did this one Okay, because Silmar is the northern part of the San Fernando Valley So it's near where we are right now I've never thought about Silmar in my life So I don't think I've done this murder Okay, good I'll just keep on checking in with you the entire time Okay, great All right, so it's Easter season, 1991 And 55 -year -old wife and mother Joan Dolly she's working part -time at the Crown Hallmark store in Silmar, California.

[775] Remember when there were Hallmark stores?

[776] Yeah, I loved Hallmarks.

[777] Any, whatever the occasion, they'd have a card.

[778] Chachkes galore.

[779] I mean, they had, like, Hummel -type figures.

[780] They had, it was like gifts.

[781] Like, little glass animals that were mounted on a little card.

[782] I loved those.

[783] I like calling them gifts for people you don't know that well.

[784] Or gifts for grandma.

[785] Gifts for grandma.

[786] Do you think grandma would like this bell made out of China?

[787] It's the thing where one time you said you like penguins and now every fucking gifts you get from your kids is a penguin.

[788] And I'm saying that because my fucking own mother gets a fucking penguin from us.

[789] That's like my mom who she said she liked chickens.

[790] Oh, yeah.

[791] And four years later, she opened up like a chicken cookie thing.

[792] She was like, if I see one more fucking chicken, I'm going to kill somebody.

[793] Well, it makes it easier.

[794] My mom is penguins.

[795] My grandma is monkeys.

[796] My sister's black cats.

[797] I'm Siamese cats.

[798] Yep.

[799] Stop.

[800] My friend Patty Riley in high school, at some point in grammar school told somebody she liked frogs.

[801] It was all she ever got.

[802] It makes life easier.

[803] Yeah, it really does.

[804] Me, I like money.

[805] Okay.

[806] My favorite animal is a gift card.

[807] Oh, I like to pet them and spend them.

[808] Love them.

[809] Okay, so she's working at the crown hallmark, dust in those china bells.

[810] Get it.

[811] Get after it.

[812] And she lives in that town with her husband of 32 years, Dennis Dolly.

[813] Okay.

[814] Dennis, because it's Easter season, Dennis has volunteered to come down to the Hallmark Store and dress up as the Easter Bunny so kids can come in and take pictures with him.

[815] That's so sweet.

[816] Isn't that nice?

[817] And Jones co -workers describe Dennis as the kind of guy who'd do anything for a laugh.

[818] It seemed like they had the perfect marriage.

[819] And, of course, anytime they say that, oh, sorry, this.

[820] um from i got this from a wikipedia page but also of course to show deadly women on the id channel um i mean not fun but but yeah also oh wait well now i know what's gonna happen he didn't kill well you'll see um because anytime on a true crime show if they say they seem like the perfect couple you know some fucked up shit is about to start happening because no one's the perfect couple thank god vins and i don't seem like the perfect couple we kind of do about oh you do once tall one's short and you really seem to like each other.

[821] That's all that it matters.

[822] That's how we know fucked up shit is happening when Stephen and I leave this apartment.

[823] That's right.

[824] He's putting crackers so high up.

[825] You can't get him.

[826] I can't reach the chicken and a biscuit.

[827] Give me that club cracker, you son of a bitch.

[828] Okay.

[829] So Dennis has been retired for 15 years, and he decides he's going to get a part -time job at the local golf course to supplement his pension because he's good at golf, although his real passion is fishing.

[830] He likes to go on lots of fishing trips.

[831] He dreams of owning his on fishing boat.

[832] You can't get a job at the fishing course.

[833] No, you sure can't.

[834] No one will hire you to fish.

[835] Why don't they do that?

[836] They just don't need it.

[837] It's not financially feasible.

[838] It's not the point of fishing.

[839] It's not the point of fishing trips.

[840] It's the point golfing.

[841] So he always goes on these fishing trips by himself, which is fine with Joan because she hates the water and so.

[842] Because she hates him.

[843] love when he leaves his fucking death.

[844] The house.

[845] After 32 years of marriage, I'm sure she's like, sounds great.

[846] It's around this same time, 1991, Joan inherits 70 grand from her mother who dies.

[847] 70 grand and a house.

[848] Damn!

[849] Yes.

[850] And Dennis tells Joan, you should put the house in the deed of that house in my name.

[851] Why?

[852] Because he wants to sell it.

[853] He wants to go sell it, and then they can take that money and spend it.

[854] He wants a fishing boat.

[855] he's got a bunch of plans, but Joan says no. She keeps telling him she's keeping all that money and the deed of the house as a nest egg, quote unquote, in case something happens.

[856] Nothing worth $70 ,000 happens.

[857] Right.

[858] Like something overnight.

[859] I mean, what is she planning?

[860] Well, here's what it is.

[861] Okay.

[862] She finally confides to her friend who also owns the Hallmark store.

[863] Okay.

[864] She keeps it real tight in that Hallmark store.

[865] Is it a franchise?

[866] It is that woman's franchise.

[867] Oh, good for her.

[868] She is a small business owner.

[869] I'm happy for her.

[870] And a good friend to Joan.

[871] Yeah.

[872] So Joan confides in her and is like, I think Dennis is having an affair.

[873] Uh -oh.

[874] And so that's why she's like, I'm not giving him any money because he's been spending money like crazy lately.

[875] Oh.

[876] When he goes on these quote unquote fishing trips.

[877] But she does know on what?

[878] Fishing trips should be cheap.

[879] Everyone knows that.

[880] What do you need?

[881] Worms?

[882] Worms?

[883] You eat food out of a can.

[884] Yeah.

[885] you got your hobo and you know why suddenly he's a hobo he's he is he jumps a train to get to the pond he jumps a train to get back there's no you eat the fish oh that's what you eat yeah that's right you don't need food you don't need anything in a can no save your 89 cents um so she is suspicious okay so basically she's preparing to get a divorce oh shit and dennis when she won't give him any money or let him play or to really do anything, he's starting to suspect that she might want to get a divorce.

[886] And if that happens, she will get half his pension.

[887] Oh, shit.

[888] And that means he will be financially ruined.

[889] So...

[890] Don't fuck around then, kid.

[891] Right?

[892] So, let's go back to the early years.

[893] Joan and Dennis Dolly were childhood sweethearts.

[894] They got married in 1956.

[895] He was in the Air Force at the time.

[896] He was a missile technician.

[897] Shit.

[898] You got to be smart as fuck.

[899] right he knows his shit i mean one would hope you gotta hope i mean if you're tinkering around with people be smart you don't just put any old it's a guy that keeps turning the instructions over and over what does this blueprint say um it's just ikea instructions with that little dude it's a guy next to a missile oh no scratching his head um they get shipped to london um fun right after they get married joan loves it she loves the idea that she gets to be this military wife the travels the world with her missile technician husband.

[900] While overseas, she gives birth to their first daughter, Debbie.

[901] Baby named Deborah, there we go.

[902] Five years later in 1961, they moved back to the U .S. Joan has another baby girl named Lori.

[903] There's lots of family home movies where Dennis is playing the devoted father, dressing as Santa every year at Christmas, and, of course, is the Easter Bunny every year at Easter.

[904] um, 1968 they, the dollies have transferred once again to the military base in Lompoc, California, um, which is north of here.

[905] There, the girls are 12 and 7.

[906] Um, and by all appearances, they're the perfect American military family.

[907] it's the height of the Cold War though.

[908] So Dennis keeps having to leave on missions and not explaining where he's going.

[909] and Joan by this point is tired of moving all the time.

[910] They've moved a ton of times.

[911] She hates a. brooding the family every time and as the girls get older they don't like it either so it's all becoming a little problematic 1974 the family stationed in Omaha Nebraska Debbie graduates college a year later Dennis retires from the Air Force and the whole family moves back to California and they settle down in Silmar in the northern San Fernando Valley is that like super suburby cute you know it's super suburbie not that nice oh um little bit a little bit I mean like I'm sure it's fine in general but but there's a little crime up there.

[912] Okay.

[913] It's not, it's, it's not the regular San Fernando Valley, yeah, of like Encino or whatever.

[914] Seamy Valley is.

[915] Yes.

[916] exactly.

[917] Some crime happening.

[918] It gets a, it gets a little risky out there.

[919] Okay.

[920] So just a few weeks after Easter, on April 17th, 1991, Joan doesn't show up for work at the Hallmark store.

[921] And it's very unlike her, she doesn't call.

[922] She just doesn't show.

[923] And her good friend and the owner, that woman's name is Marilyn Rush.

[924] she knows how weird this is for Joan so she immediately drives over to Joan's house she lets herself into the house with the extra key that she knows where it's hidden and the whole house is in a shambles there's been there's clearly been a robbery she walks into the master bedroom and she finds Joan bludgeon to death in her bed oh no I was hoping she'd be a deadly woman she's not a deadly woman so she's been murdered so she's been severely beaten around the head she has a broken finger and she has other defensive wounds on her arms and hands.

[925] The forensics team, luckily, so it's 1991, the forensics team scrapes the, because they see that there's tissue underneath her fingernails.

[926] Yeah, she fought.

[927] So they scrape it and they save it.

[928] And they know that DNA is now a possibility, but it's the very early stages.

[929] Paul holes is just a baby.

[930] That's little Paul holes with the, this is when he had puffy cheeks.

[931] He had puffy baby cheeks, but he was a, he was in a, forensics he was the yeah okay that's how he started so pal holes isn't even part of this story anyways he's across the bay north he's north and west yeah so um the police determined that the point of entry was a break in the back of the house um so they just put it together it's with all the uh i was gonna say ram shackledness with all the rummaging that's clearly gone on it's a break Ransacking, not ramshackled.

[932] No, that's not my story.

[933] That's from your, I'm borrowing from your story and putting it into my story.

[934] I mean, it sounds like Golden State Killer style.

[935] Right.

[936] That's right.

[937] The bludgeoning.

[938] So, when the family finds out Dennis and his daughters are distraught, obviously, they're total disbelief that Joan is gone and at such a young age, Dennis can barely function.

[939] How old is she?

[940] 56, 55 or 556.

[941] So yeah, you know, like living this kind of like retiree life.

[942] Yeah, like finally.

[943] Yeah.

[944] Trying to put it together.

[945] Sure.

[946] Dennis can barely function and he tells his daughters he can't stay in the house.

[947] Obviously, that's where his wife is murdered.

[948] Sure.

[949] And that he just needs to go away on a fishing trip.

[950] His daughter Debbie doesn't think it's a good idea for him to be alone.

[951] So she says, if you want to go, I'll go with you.

[952] And he says, no, I really need to be by myself.

[953] I just, I have to be by myself.

[954] and so he goes on his trip We don't trust him now No The police don't trust him either When they talk to Dennis They feel like he's giving No absolutely no signs That he is even upset That his wife has been bludged into death In her bed They're getting real weird vibes That's a police thing We know that sometimes people don't act Like they're in grief But you can tell vibes Yes I mean I think that's the thing too Is that like so much police work is like, are you a sensitive investigator that's feeling vibes, or are you a police monster?

[955] Right.

[956] Who, like, you're not crying your brains out.

[957] Yes, exactly.

[958] So you don't care.

[959] You didn't it.

[960] So I am now going to find the evidence to put you in jail no matter what.

[961] I guess it's probably the thing of like, we know no one reacts the same, but you can be like, this person is clearly in shock right now, not this person isn't crying because they killed someone.

[962] It's like this person in a week is going to fucking lose their shit or like in a month, whatever.

[963] I can tell by their pupils that they're in shock or whatever.

[964] It's like what all these things are in, you know, like, it's context.

[965] It's just what is the actual situation here?

[966] Sure.

[967] And they all were like, this guy doesn't feel right.

[968] Yeah.

[969] And then they find out their hunch is right because it turns out Dennis did not go on a fishing trip to grieve the sudden loss of his wife of 30 years because he's caught on casino surveillance tape in Las Vegas.

[970] Fishing Fishing.

[971] He's just in a canoe fishing in the middle of the Binion's Casino.

[972] We'll pull Ted Binion back in.

[973] Binion's back, baby.

[974] He was casinoing instead?

[975] He was gambling at a table with an unknown woman laughing it up and having a time of his life on casino surveillance footage.

[976] You stupid idiot.

[977] You fucking dipship.

[978] I mean, listen, I hate you.

[979] You're a killer, go to prison forever.

[980] But like, what are you so stupid?

[981] people are really stupid but this guy's especially stupid stupid yeah because also there are a lot of places you could go that don't have going to a casino in Las Vegas is like I want to be on film it's also like you gotta assume maybe you're being tailed they don't know who the murderer is yeah like the first person the cops always look at as the husband there's gonna be one like rookie who like gets sent to follow you that day right you know also this was two days after the funeral that he went to Vegas like you can't hold for two weeks.

[982] Yeah.

[983] You can't just let the feelings die down a hint.

[984] And like maybe like help your daughters grieve their mother's fucking death.

[985] Guess not.

[986] Monster.

[987] So the woman that he's with gets identified.

[988] And her name is Brandita Taliano.

[989] That's not a real name.

[990] That is Brandita's real name.

[991] She is a sex worker from the San Fernando Valley.

[992] Okay.

[993] Which the idea of that makes me laugh.

[994] Because to me, the San Fernando Valley is a series of strip malls.

[995] and Starbucks.

[996] And a courthouse or two.

[997] Yeah, exactly.

[998] So there's, somewhere there's a, there's a, there's a trip that some sex workers like to walk.

[999] Um, I guess that happens everywhere.

[1000] Yeah.

[1001] Um, so Dennis had been spending a lot of time with Brandita, they call her Brandy, and lots of money on her.

[1002] And that's Joan Dolly.

[1003] So he wasn't fucking around, like, he wasn't, didn't meet some chick at the hallmark on the other side of town no and start dating her no he he he started paying for sex with brandy um so when jones suspected that her husband was having an affair she was right but what she didn't know was that he was having an affair with the sex worker that he was sleeping with and he also began to pay her rent he bought her car he basically became her sugar daddy how did he get all this money like oh my god well he had his pension and separate.

[1004] He thought he was going to have money with Joan's inheritance.

[1005] Shit.

[1006] And when Joan was like, you aren't getting any of this money, he realized that this lifestyle he was kind of secretly living this other life was going to get cut off.

[1007] And that if Joan divorced him and he lost all that money, Brandy would never see him again.

[1008] Because that's not how it works.

[1009] That love would dry up right quick.

[1010] So, in the winter of 1993, Brandy is arrested on a drug charge, and when they search her, they find Joan Dolly's jewelry in the bottom of her purse.

[1011] So this gives, there's a detective that was the first on the scene, and his name is Detective Tippin.

[1012] I want to say Dave Tippen, but that's just me. I don't think it is.

[1013] Is it Dave Tippin?

[1014] I bet it's Dave.

[1015] Hold.

[1016] Please hold.

[1017] Hold for Dave, check.

[1018] Hold for Dave.

[1019] We are thorough now.

[1020] We don't call people Tipping unless we do a thorough check.

[1021] That's right.

[1022] Because we ain't tipping out.

[1023] Because that ain't.

[1024] We ain't cat.

[1025] This isn't a cow tipped, you know.

[1026] Here's a quick tip.

[1027] Don't just call people days.

[1028] Seems like I didn't write anything down about Dave Tippin.

[1029] Hold on.

[1030] Mr. Tippin.

[1031] God damn it.

[1032] Tippin.

[1033] Call me Mr. Tippin.

[1034] Yeah.

[1035] That's what he always says.

[1036] So.

[1037] Oh, Stephen's got it.

[1038] Steven's got it?

[1039] Paul Tippin.

[1040] Motherfucker.

[1041] Okay, Paul Tips.

[1042] So, you get the last name wrong.

[1043] Okay.

[1044] So Detective Paul Tippin realizes when he, when this jewelry is matched to Joan Dolly's jewelry.

[1045] He's like, here's what we're going to do.

[1046] This is, this is going to get me the warrant so that I can take her DNA and test it against the fingernail scrapings that I kept from under Joan Dolly's.

[1047] She's a deadly woman?

[1048] Oh my God, I got it.

[1049] Oh, I actually did this one.

[1050] Did you know?

[1051] No, I didn't.

[1052] So he sends Brandy's DNA to the evidence lab.

[1053] I did not think that twist was coming, even though it's called Deadly Women, the TV show.

[1054] Right?

[1055] You thought the one woman was dead.

[1056] And that was your only choice.

[1057] Shit.

[1058] It's the early 90s.

[1059] It takes one year for the results to come back on this DNA.

[1060] Dana, get your shit together.

[1061] guys, you don't even understand how important you are.

[1062] But in the meantime, Detective Tippin, Detective Paul Tippin, starts looking into Brandtogliano's life.

[1063] So he's not surprised to find, and I'm sure the other policemen that work with him, maybe he didn't do all this work.

[1064] Sure, sure, sure, sure.

[1065] But they find that she's been in and out of jail for the past 10 years for drug charges.

[1066] She's a heroin addict.

[1067] So a lot of the stuff she's doing is purely just to get drugs.

[1068] What does surprise them is they find that while she has been in jail, In the more recently, Dennis Dolly has visited her in jail 14 times.

[1069] This guy has no chill.

[1070] He's really not smart when it comes to like basically thinking any of this shit through.

[1071] He's like, okay, hear me out.

[1072] If he goes to visit her in jail all the time and just to fucking see her because he, he's like in love with her.

[1073] Yes.

[1074] Because like he's not having sex with her in jail.

[1075] No, they can't have sex in jail.

[1076] you would be surprised that they are not allowed to have sex in jail so he's visiting her because he fucking misses her and is in love with her yes and also second only to a Las Vegas casino where is the one other place you're going to get recorded and filmed and taped on security cameras more than in fucking jail great point so they're having conversations about things that are being recorded he is apparently smuggling heroin into her and keeping her commissary account filled with money so that she's like, gets what she needs in jail.

[1077] I got to get that top ramen.

[1078] I need that one color of lipstick, the only one that's available.

[1079] Right.

[1080] Wet and while.

[1081] I need that.

[1082] It's the 90s, so I need my brown lip liner.

[1083] I don't need lipstick.

[1084] I just need my brown lip liner.

[1085] Just brown lip liner and then maybe a light white gloss.

[1086] Right.

[1087] So basically, immediately they're like, oh, holy shit, we've got the husband connected here.

[1088] And in one of these conversations, he tells Brandy that he needs her help.

[1089] needs her to find him someone that can take care of what he calls a big job and so oh this is before the murder this is before okay so brandy introduces him I bet I know what that big job is yeah right that it's not fishing it's not fishing or what was his job explosives I don't know or what he did the missile he was a missile technician right so brandy introduces him to a career criminal named Gary Ware and Gary's felon associate who it will not be named for privacy reasons I don't have it sure they I thought he was serious no I just don't have it um I thought felon associate would be a good stand -in great so I guess Dennis brings him back to their house his house when uh Jones at work this guy sucks so bad he really sucks shit and he tells these two fucking felons that he wants them to kill his wife and he says he doesn't care what they do due to her in the while they do that he says you can rape her if you want to as long as she ends up dead yeah his childhood sweetheart the mother of his two daughters yeah his fucking lifelong wife not lifelong you know up until this long what a monster monster in fact one of his nicknames later on is american monster oh my god so they make this plan that these two guys, Gary Ware and the associate, and associate are going to kill Joan.

[1090] But soon after, Ware is arrested on an unrelated charge, so the plan falls apart.

[1091] Yeah.

[1092] That's the problem with career criminals is you just can't rely on them.

[1093] You can't because they're so ambitious in their career of criminality.

[1094] So Dennis knows that Joan, at this point, he's like, she's going to divorce me. And if the divorce happens, I will lose.

[1095] half of, I will lose.

[1096] She needs to do everything.

[1097] Before she files for divorce.

[1098] Exactly right.

[1099] So he's in a big rush.

[1100] Luckily for him, that's right when Brandy finally gets out of jail and he says to Brandy, you have to help me kill her.

[1101] So on the night of April 16th, 1991, while Joan Dolly is asleep in the master bedroom, Dennis Dolly lets Brandy Taliano in the back door of the house where the cops thought it was a break end.

[1102] They sneak into the master bedroom together.

[1103] Dennis is carrying a golf club and he begins beating Joan with it.

[1104] Joan wakes up, tries to fight him off and that's when Brandy starts to hold her down so that Dennis can beat her to death with his golf club.

[1105] And when she struggles, that's when she gets Brandy's skin underneath her fingernails.

[1106] Oh my God.

[1107] And then they go, once she's, once Joan is dead in bed, they go around the house and try to make it look like a robbery gone wrong.

[1108] Yeah.

[1109] But, as we know, then that's around the time that the cops find the Las Vegas footage of him two days after his wife's funeral in Las Vegas with Brandy at the fucking craps table, living his best life.

[1110] They had actually taken Jones money, gone to Las Vegas, they had shopped, they had gambled, it's all on security cameras.

[1111] because they they took home movie footage of like they went on all these trips together.

[1112] Dennis Dolly was so stupid.

[1113] He claimed Brandy as a dependent on his taxes.

[1114] What?

[1115] He put, he bought new cars and put the titles in her name.

[1116] And her name was also on the deed when he bought a vacation home in Big Bear.

[1117] What the fucking fuck?

[1118] So he basically went out of his way to tie her to him.

[1119] I mean, as awful as the sounds, it's like, I'm glad that it was.

[1120] isn't, like, the rape part to me is so horrific.

[1121] It's, the whole thing is awful, but like, you know, thank God that one guy went to fucking prison.

[1122] It's the whole thing sucks, but like, wow.

[1123] Yes.

[1124] And like, no thought of like, the girls are going to find out how their mother died and what happened to them.

[1125] Yes.

[1126] And he's like, I don't care what you do.

[1127] Because, well, that's what narcissism is.

[1128] And that's like this kind of extreme, you know, whatever he was is an extreme narcissist or a psychopath.

[1129] where they don't think about, they don't care about other people's feelings and they don't care about it's like about his wife, but like, I don't get it, but like his daughters, he must have loved them and not wanted them to.

[1130] Maybe, but clearly he was, he may have been on drugs too, but he was obsessed with Brandy.

[1131] Yeah.

[1132] And he was like interested in keeping her around more than anything or just he, what he was interested in really, I think, ultimately was just getting what he wanted all the time.

[1133] So he kill, he, he bludgeoned his wife to death so he can buy him.

[1134] himself a boat, a jacuzzi, a waterbed, and a gazebo at the end of the day.

[1135] It's like, if I couldn't more than trifect of tacky -ass shit.

[1136] Yeah, it's tacky as hell.

[1137] I mean, that gazebo.

[1138] So, so a year later, the DNA test comes back.

[1139] The, the evidence under Jones fingers, mail, fingernails is a match to Brandy, Italiano's DNA.

[1140] When Detective Tippin puts all of this evidence together, he basically has an open and shut case.

[1141] And then at the trial, it's a three -month trial in 1997 and they bring Gary Ware, the guy who Dennis Dahlie tried to make a deal with.

[1142] Who had an associate.

[1143] He, with the mysterious associate, Gary Ware has testimony where he tells them that Dennis Dolly said, and you can rape her if you want to, and that's like, that's when it was like over and done that.

[1144] Career criminal makes good.

[1145] Yeah.

[1146] And also the daughters testified against him too.

[1147] Oh, Jesus is perfect.

[1148] So both Dennis Dolly and Brandy Taliano were found guilty of first -degree murder and sentenced to life in prison.

[1149] Dennis Dolly got life in prison without the possibility of parole and he died in prison in 2003.

[1150] And Brandy Taliano also sentenced to life in prison is still in prison today, although there's a rumor that she is being considered for parole.

[1151] No. And that's the murder of Joan Dolly.

[1152] Holy shit, man. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[1153] That's a twisty, turny, mind fuck.

[1154] It's also just another one of these bummer.

[1155] These ones come up a lot, and, you know, people recommend murders to us a lot.

[1156] I get so bummed out, because there's just so many of these fucking husbands that just kill their wives for money.

[1157] We don't do a lot of them because it seems like it's so simple.

[1158] And, like, this one clearly is not, which makes it's fucking fast.

[1159] but yeah it's just like there are so many and it's just sad and shitty and awful and like you're saying it's baffling that they don't think past yeah what they're doing to go you're going to get caught modern technology is going to get you caught yeah also you're a monster just like break up like you're a monster you're a monster and if you i feel like it's that thing of if you're starting to have an affair that you're then obsessed with this person Like, yes, the divorce is, like, I'm going to, his mentality is like, fuck her because she's going to ruin me because I'm going to lose half my pension in the divorce.

[1160] It's like, yes, but this is the woman who raised your children who moved to every single city that you had to move to.

[1161] You don't deserve the money.

[1162] And she doesn't.

[1163] It's like.

[1164] Right.

[1165] It's this, it's the intense narcissism and selfishness.

[1166] It's just so crazy.

[1167] And also, they were in their 50s.

[1168] It's not like he couldn't have gotten.

[1169] another job or like made some kind of adjustment it was just like i got to keep my money i got to keep my girlfriend totally psycho so psycho shit that was a good one such a bummer yeah i'm glad i'm glad it wasn't the one you did because i remember you doing one and it was something but i think yours was about a lawyer who killed his wife do you remember that one fakely tell me more but it was like i honestly think it's like within the first three to six months of us doing the show it was really early I just remember being in your old apartment and listening to you tell me about it.

[1170] And that's, I started getting these pictures at the end of like finishing the story up.

[1171] And I was starting in these pictures.

[1172] I was like, God damn it.

[1173] I hope not.

[1174] Oh, you're good.

[1175] It doesn't seem like it.

[1176] It doesn't seem like.

[1177] I guarantee you.

[1178] I didn't do that one.

[1179] Okay.

[1180] Shit, great job.

[1181] Thank you.

[1182] You too.

[1183] Fucking hooray.

[1184] Oh, how was your yoga challenge?

[1185] Oh, I've failed my yoga challenge this week.

[1186] although I will say I did a lot of meditation Oh good for you Yeah because I feel like we're There's some stressful things going on right now We're about to start our fall tour You started in the right before we started our fall tour You started a new writing job at basket Or went back to baskets Yes so you're just like you know what I want to do?

[1187] Double down double down As well as And we're simultaneously working on our network And so Or podcast network.

[1188] I wake up at 5 .30 in the morning and then answer emails, drink coffee and answer emails like a lunatic.

[1189] And then I'm like worked up alone in my house.

[1190] And then I'm like, okay.

[1191] And then it's good to work.

[1192] Yeah, exactly.

[1193] So I've been doing really nice.

[1194] It's just 10 minutes.

[1195] But it's just that thing of like I get upset because I think all these things are happening at once and they're not.

[1196] I have these reactions where it's just like, I just need to come back to reality and to real life and just be like we're in the present everything's fine everything feels like a cacophony and then you need to realize that they're not yes and that we're like the luckiest people in the world having the best time and we're doing pretty fucking good we're doing good at all of it it's difficult to keep that in mind now it's just like whatever so so that i would say my fucking hurry for this week also in the room my friend teresa who works at baskets with me also has planter fasciitis oh so we get up three times a day and just start stretching.

[1197] What a great thing to have a buddy at work with.

[1198] Yes, who gets it and she's like done all the research.

[1199] So we do lots of stretching during the day like fucking weirdos.

[1200] That's yoga.

[1201] I mean, it doesn't count as a full class, but I feel like my two part thing of trying to like, it's just that thing of when I'm by myself, my mind goes fucking crazy.

[1202] Yeah, of course, especially when you pour coffee all over it.

[1203] Which I understand.

[1204] Me too.

[1205] I didn't.

[1206] I have a caveat yoga.

[1207] I didn't go to a yoga class.

[1208] However, I started working with this girl names, woman named Sarah Olive.

[1209] She's a personal trainer a while back after a friend recommended her, because I just can't work out of my own.

[1210] She is the most lovely person ever.

[1211] And I stopped, I did the thing where I just stopped doing it and never emailed her again.

[1212] And she'd be like, hey, checking in.

[1213] Hey, check it in.

[1214] Even though, like, Like, she wasn't trying to get money.

[1215] Like, I had classes that I had already paid her for.

[1216] And she was like, we should do this.

[1217] And then I posted some, like, obviously depressing thing on Instagram a couple, like, months back.

[1218] And she was like, I'm coming over and we're going to go for a walk today.

[1219] Like, straight up, like, didn't need to be there and was there.

[1220] And so since then every week, we've been hanging out and, like, hiking and shit together.

[1221] And so, and she didn't listen to the podcast before when I was working out with her, but she does now.

[1222] And so every time we go to hike or do something, she's like, I asks me questions from the episode.

[1223] And she's really fucking.

[1224] sweet and lovely.

[1225] And so this time around, we went for a hike.

[1226] And then she was like, okay, we're going to do five minutes of yoga so you can say that you did yoga.

[1227] Nice.

[1228] Because I know you didn't go to yoga.

[1229] She's a mastermind.

[1230] She's great.

[1231] Her, uh, her Instagram is this underscore fit mom.

[1232] This fit mom.

[1233] She's got like two adorable kids.

[1234] So she did that for me. And it was really like, she's just, I'm going to cry talking about her.

[1235] So it's, she's lovely.

[1236] That's like, that's my yoga and my fucking hooray.

[1237] That's great.

[1238] Is that like, she's, like, she's, She's really gotten me. And it's true, like, depression is so much better when I'm, like, working out and doing things and I'm sore and I'm happy and it's much better.

[1239] Yeah, we can generate our own dopamine if we actually just do it and fight, fight those bad feelings.

[1240] I say, as I've, the stretching I described is the only movement I've done.

[1241] But I like, here's a thing, I'm not giving up on this yoga challenge because I like that something's hanging over my head.

[1242] And it makes me think about it every week.

[1243] And it makes me go, okay, if you're not going to do it, what are you going to do or do something?

[1244] Well, yeah, we'll keep it, we'll keep it going.

[1245] And I think since we're about to leave for the fall tour, which is this really stressful thing of it's weekends, but it's like we have to be in a different city every day and we have to leave a day early, come back a day.

[1246] But, you know, it's a lot of hotel rooms, a lot of eating like shit.

[1247] And so it's a good thing to have in our head as we start this process.

[1248] I think.

[1249] of like, just do something.

[1250] I mean, you can.

[1251] You better not say anything to me about it.

[1252] Oh, I'm not going to talk.

[1253] I'm not going to call your hotel room.

[1254] Let's give yoga.

[1255] Oh, my God.

[1256] Did you order broccoli?

[1257] Lobby yoga.

[1258] No, but you know what's really funny is the, uh, we've tried to be good on the road.

[1259] It's not impossible, but it's just that thing of when you come back, like to your hotel room at night, you're just like, well, the late night menu, you're like, I'm not going to eat a salad at 11 o 'clock at night.

[1260] And I also want to know, like, what is.

[1261] this, I love regional food so fucking much that it makes me crazy.

[1262] Like, that is my all -time favorite thing.

[1263] So I want to know what your fucking weird thing is.

[1264] And I guarantee you, it's not a fucking steamed broccoli.

[1265] It's not your regional fucking food.

[1266] It's not fun.

[1267] Like, yeah, the best times we have is like when we go to a place and then it's like, oh my God, look at this place around the corner.

[1268] Yeah.

[1269] And we're about to go to the, like, looks up a restaurant that's like, we have to try this thing there.

[1270] It's to have this good thing there.

[1271] We're starting in the Carolinas.

[1272] You know how much I love barbecue?

[1273] It's one of my favorite things in the fucking world.

[1274] So it's going to get ugly this weekend.

[1275] It's going to, you know, we're just going to stay, what we're going to do is stay in the moment.

[1276] Uh -huh.

[1277] We're going to be, stay conscious.

[1278] Yeah.

[1279] And then if macaroni and cheese happens, it happens.

[1280] Yeah.

[1281] And it's going to happen.

[1282] And it's going to happen.

[1283] That's right.

[1284] So we'll see you guys this weekend who's coming out.

[1285] And thank you guys for listening.

[1286] And, you know, you guys are the best.

[1287] Stay sexy.

[1288] And don't get murdered.

[1289] Goodbye.

[1290] Hey.

[1291] Elvis, you want a cookie?

[1292] What cookie?

[1293] Wow.