246 - thanks for the lolz

[0] This is exactly right.

[1] And welcome to my favorite murder.

[2] That's Georgia Hartstark.

[3] That's Karen Kilgaris.

[4] This is your third favorite podcast.

[5] Welcome.

[6] Hey.

[7] And your mom's second favorite podcast.

[8] What's the?

[9] Your sister's number one.

[10] That's why we like her better.

[11] Yep.

[12] We always have.

[13] Your mom does too.

[14] Your mom.

[15] No. Your dad's on the fence about both of you.

[16] Oh, shit.

[17] I was talking.

[18] I was talking to my dad on the phone this morning because he was yelling at me for not knowing how important this Dodgers World Series win is.

[19] And again, I tried to explain, dad, I am not interested.

[20] I love the athleticism.

[21] I'll watch it if people are hanging out.

[22] Great snacks, always.

[23] A fun hang, usually.

[24] Not interested in stats or when things have and then have.

[25] haven't happened, whatever.

[26] So he's yelling at me about that.

[27] And then I look at the time and realize I have to get off the phone to go to my therapy, my virtual therapy appointment.

[28] And I go, dad, sorry, I have to get off the phone because I have to go talk to my therapist.

[29] And he goes, what?

[30] I thought I was your therapist.

[31] Yeah.

[32] Can you?

[33] What would your life be like if fucking Jim Kilgariff was your fucking designated therapist?

[34] Well, he kind of was for the first 18.

[35] And I'm I would say it didn't work out very good.

[36] It's not, I don't recommend it.

[37] The suck it up school of therapy doesn't work for most people.

[38] I think we're all learning that now.

[39] Oh, our parents were wrong about and our grandparents were wrong about bootstraps and whatnot.

[40] Yeah.

[41] That maybe that approach, let the baby cry it out.

[42] Yeah.

[43] It's not good.

[44] You'll spoil the baby if you touch it too much.

[45] Oh, my God.

[46] I'm reading...

[47] Love is very finite and you have to meet it out in tiny, tiny amount.

[48] I am reading this book on this basically the same thing called daughter detox about, you know, mothers and how to get over them.

[49] And can you?

[50] They're like your first unrequited love mothers.

[51] And it's talking about all these like, you know, psychological experiments they used to do before you had to actually treat people like human beings, like science had to care about humans and ask permission and things like that and like worry about the long lasting effects of these experiments.

[52] And it's so depressing and like who let's, what people let their baby get scientifically fucking tested upon in the 50s and 70s.

[53] Well, that's, but that's also back when doctors, anything they said goes.

[54] So if a doctor said, oh, your child is showing signs of this.

[55] let's put them in this.

[56] It's good.

[57] It'll be good for them.

[58] Here's a new medication that just came out that I'm getting money to give your child.

[59] Let's put them on it.

[60] Yep.

[61] So that's going great.

[62] It's different time.

[63] Much less information.

[64] My mom and I are going to go to therapy finally.

[65] Are you?

[66] A mediator.

[67] Really?

[68] She used to be a lawyer.

[69] Isn't that interesting?

[70] It's a genius.

[71] I know.

[72] She's a therapist, a psychologist, you know.

[73] And she used to be a lawyer.

[74] I feel like it's going to be great.

[75] you know what you both need huh no judgment fucking what do they call them a mute button no like when you're talking it's like the it's the old debates mute button oh my god you're right like you're not allowed to talk at the same time oh that's a great idea if only there was a button that could make you hear people because even when for me personally when I'm not talking I'm still sitting there going nope here's why I'm getting it and I'm saying it and here you're just doing the same thing again.

[76] Well, that's why I think couples therapy is so important and good.

[77] It's because ideally of a therapist who you tell the therapist how you feel and the therapist translates it to your partner, whoever that might be, and tells it to them in the language they understand.

[78] You know what I mean?

[79] It's almost like they're an interpreter rather than like anything else.

[80] Right.

[81] And then you get told things.

[82] Right.

[83] Oh, that's the problem.

[84] No, no, no, I'm fine.

[85] No, no, no. Oh, shit.

[86] No. It's that it goes back the other way.

[87] Oh, I was supposed to listen to that?

[88] It's a fully formed, I mean, Jesus.

[89] It's like, here's the thing I've learned lately.

[90] Okay.

[91] First of all, did I tell you about when I made my therapist cackles so hard, she threw her head back laughing?

[92] Did I already tell you this story?

[93] Does she hurt herself?

[94] No, we were just talking about how much I cannot stand vulnerability at all.

[95] cannot with I can't withstand it it's the same as as a danger feeling for another person is a vulnerable as me coming anywhere close to being vulnerable or honest or direct and and to so she's talking about something about it and how it's of course very important and that you have to practice it and that it's a healthy thing and whatever and she's like and it's really it's a really good thing to do and I go I know but it's so gross and then she she she it's exploded.

[96] The idea that I was calling vulnerability gross is like her favorite thing she ever You were being vulnerable in that moment though, too.

[97] Which is kind of lovely and ironic, right?

[98] But it was also just in these quarantine times when all of our human interactions are so restricted and strange.

[99] To have like a belly laugh with your therapist.

[100] It was so, it was really enjoyable.

[101] But I was going to tell you so wait do you want to say the name of that book again oh just the daughter detox that's called it's good it's fine it's good i highly i still highly recommend uh adult children of emotionally immature parents it's still one of my fucking favorite books i read and understanding what's going on with me and my wife my childhood uh yeah i am going to wait to go to therapy with my mom till after the elections what if you schedule it for december first that's a great idea because 24?

[102] Is that true?

[103] Well, I was going to, you, you talking about that book made me think of a book that my therapist recommended to me that, like, is one of those ones where, and this is my problem with a lot of self -help books, it's my problem, is when the first three chapters are amazing, I walk away.

[104] I'm like, got it.

[105] You did it.

[106] Thank you so much.

[107] And I walk away.

[108] But this one is like that, but I'm sticking with it.

[109] It's called burnout, the secret.

[110] to unlocking the stress cycle and it's written by Emily Nagoski and her sister Amelia Nagoski and it is incredible it like the first three chapters were basically the last 10 years of my life where it's this thing where when you think you're in danger or you you go into the stress response you know our old brains that are basically caveman brains need to even Either when when the fight, flight, freeze response comes up, you either need to run.

[111] You need to go find people and then have people make the feeling go away.

[112] Like there are certain things your body needs to process the chemicals that that response sets into your body.

[113] Right.

[114] And if you don't do it, it just gets, it just stays there.

[115] If that's a thing where if you're like me, hey folks, if you're like me and you're good at, pushing all those feelings down and pretending you're not having them it's just a fascinating education about your body like it's the they talk about it's like when something when you get into a fight with a person and then in front of them you're fine and then you walk away and cry that's your body needing to get out all of that energy and those chemicals and stuff because you get flooded with all these chemicals that are keeping your caveman body alive to get away from the danger yeah it's like people It's shaking after a car accident or something like that, right?

[116] Exactly.

[117] Or that you have to like, but it's your system saying we got to get this out because this isn't normal.

[118] Yeah.

[119] But if you keep just collecting it, then it's normalizing in your system.

[120] And then you kind that adds to that just opens the door.

[121] Anyway, I'm badly synopsizing.

[122] It's called burnout.

[123] Burnout the secret to unlocking the stress cycle so that you can basically work it out and stress out less.

[124] recognize when it's happening more that's an important thing yeah you start to recognize it's really good automatically speaking of fear for those people who listened to the minisode this week and heard in the background after your terrifying fucking ghost story in the middle of it and then suddenly there was a bell that rang that we all heard in Karen's house it was clearly in Karen's house and we all panicked if the dogs just like didn't bark they just stared I was so angry and I was scared which of course my reaction to fear is anger I was just like what the this is not fair um so I walk out into the kitchen after we finish recording so a couple minutes later or whatever and uh to go make dinner and there's just a little Pyrex bowl sitting on the floor in the middle of the kitchen so in the middle like I looked at the photo it's like in the middle straight up glass bowl yes so it almost seems like it fell off that because it was on the strainer next to the sink okay somehow and they're just it was a windy night but no windows were open it fell off that that strainer or is that the drying rat yeah strain it fell off that yeah bounced on the floor didn't break even though it's a glass bowl and then was just sitting there waiting for me I'm still scared that doesn't explain it away for me at all my my new house is haunted I feel like if we would have have known already because you've lived there for a little while that was haunted and that's just like such a baby move like if that's how long it took to get the ghost to like do something then I think we're fine like in 10 years it'll finally figure out how to close a door or whatever thank you you know what I mean yes so yeah but that was a legit because the the idea of a bell ringing that isn't any connected to any part of your actual house and it's an old time you bell it's not like a newfangled fucking I don't know are there newfangled bells they're they're making new bell every day Georgia.

[125] Innovation in the bell area is unbelievable.

[126] It's the fastest way that we're learning.

[127] But it really was like, you think about it, like a Pyrex bowl, it's like gling.

[128] Yeah.

[129] It's like how weird and old -fashioned it sounded.

[130] It landed face up, whatever that means.

[131] Yeah.

[132] In the middle of, I just don't like it.

[133] I still don't like it.

[134] I don't like it at all.

[135] I do about it.

[136] Yeah, yell at the dogs.

[137] Oh, you heard it when you went back.

[138] Well, listening back, it was even scarier because it's like we all just like freeze so I feel like listening to it like because you're listening to a podcast and then all of a sudden like everyone's free like it's unsettling yeah I have to I'll have to listen back to that because I could I was talking so I only heard the end of it yeah but I saw George's face change and I was like are we going to ignore that or no I'm only to do what you need to do to make this work um hey speaking of making it work making it work we have a um we have merch guys hey again on the my favorite murder one of the great segues thank you it's kind of my thing we have some new merch in the store there's the here's the thing fuck everyone mug it's the mug that says here's the thing on it and then when you take a sip on the bottom it says fuck everyone which is really clever in case she didn't know.

[139] Tricky for work, especially if you work at a church or children's clothing place store.

[140] Clothing and playplace.

[141] If you work inside the McDonald's play place, you can drink coffee all day long.

[142] And then we have a new face mask, like mask, you know, face masks are face masks now of our actual logo on it.

[143] So that's exciting.

[144] Now there's two options.

[145] Yeah.

[146] And then we also have a stemless wine glass that has our logo on it that's really cute.

[147] So if you're trying to be classy, but it still need to be tacky, we've got the wine glass for you.

[148] That's right.

[149] Yeah.

[150] So check that out.

[151] Oh, we also have exactly right merch on exactly right media .com in the store.

[152] That's like really cute.

[153] I have the sticker on my laptop now.

[154] My dad has the hoodie and the hat.

[155] It's just fun.

[156] It's really good.

[157] I put that hoodie on.

[158] It is a cozy sweater.

[159] sweatshirt and for the people that are like me that don't want a bunch of business on their sweatshirt, it's just the exact, it's a black sweatshirt with the white exactly right logo and that's it.

[160] Mm -hmm.

[161] No drama.

[162] And the, there's a mug.

[163] Yeah, so check that out if you feel like it.

[164] If you don't, that's okay too.

[165] And also, if you're looking for merch for any of the other podcasts, it's all there on the exactly right .com website.

[166] You know who's got great podcast merch is this podcast will kill you.

[167] Beautiful stuff.

[168] They got great shit.

[169] Okay.

[170] As does bananas.

[171] Bananas got into merch before they even started their podcast.

[172] They were like friends with talented artists and they got it going immediately.

[173] They've got great stuff.

[174] They do.

[175] And we actually expanded it, Do You Need a Ride?

[176] We expanded our merch because we only ever had the shirt.

[177] Now we have other stuff.

[178] Take a look.

[179] It's fun.

[180] Merch is the best.

[181] Speaking of bananas, this week on bananas, the guest is our friend of the family.

[182] one of the funniest people Fortune Feamster She's just a Just a dream person She's the greatest She's truly the most hilarious And the best Her videos on Instagram She does dancing Eating ice cream videos Oh my God And her Brenda videos Oh fuck Brenda Damn Oh my God Yeah if you Fortune Feemster Put this in your Put it in a file For when you are Feeling blue And you just need to not think about anything, you bring up a video of Fortune doing an impression of, it's Brenda.

[183] Brenda, yeah.

[184] Yeah.

[185] She's either playing Brenda or dancing and eating ice cream or any of the other, or just her stand -up.

[186] She has a great stand -up special.

[187] Totally.

[188] That came out.

[189] Just go enjoy Fortune.

[190] She's really an amazing performer.

[191] Yeah, and she's great on bananas this week.

[192] So check that out.

[193] Yeah.

[194] Oh, and I said no gifts with Bridger Winner, the great Gabe Liebman, who is a really amazing writer.

[195] I'm sure he was a performer originally because who wasn't.

[196] And he's written on all your favorite shows, Brooklyn 9 -9, Penn 15.

[197] And he's on there talking to Bridger.

[198] It's a hilarious.

[199] Stephen, who was there to record it, said it was a hilarious episode.

[200] Oh, yeah.

[201] They're both the best.

[202] And the gift is really funny.

[203] You're going to, I don't want to spoil it, but it's really good.

[204] Okay, good.

[205] Love it.

[206] Yeah, check that out.

[207] And that's our, that's our network.

[208] It's our business.

[209] Do you know what made me so happy last week, which was so weird?

[210] It's like, so we have this network, right?

[211] And it's like actually it's a job.

[212] It's like a thing that we do.

[213] And it's like an actual network and it's real, which is crazy.

[214] It's a full -time job.

[215] Yeah.

[216] And so we had our Friday morning staff meeting, as we always do.

[217] And everyone catches each other up of what we're doing.

[218] And this past week, we have hired lots of people lately.

[219] And we had so many people that this time we couldn't fit everyone on one screen.

[220] on the Zoom meeting and I was just like holy shit this is our business it's cool and we have the best people on the team it's just like we can't stop finding the best fucking people it's great we're so lucky yeah so thank you all for yeah baking it so that we have a network that people would even want to pay attention to totally it's only because you guys support us so much that we're able to do this awesomeness and bring friends and talented people fucking onto your ear holes yeah Yeah, and maybe FedEx some stuff here and there.

[221] Yeah.

[222] Hold on.

[223] Is that a ghost cat?

[224] It's a fucking ghost cat.

[225] Mimi.

[226] Hi.

[227] Are you done?

[228] Come on.

[229] Come on in.

[230] All right.

[231] I know that that's over.

[232] What if she, what if she jumped on the couch right now and went, well, hi.

[233] Well, hi.

[234] I don't have a lot of tea.

[235] I have unsolved mysteries.

[236] The new season's good.

[237] How many episodes?

[238] did you get into Unsolved Mysteries?

[239] Three or four only.

[240] Did you get into the tsunami, the Japanese tsunami?

[241] Oh, my God.

[242] Oh, my God.

[243] Crying.

[244] Every episode, I really am blown away by Unsolved Mysteries.

[245] We've talked about it before.

[246] They're doing incredible work.

[247] They've upped it.

[248] This is like the, it's almost like the HBO version of Unsolved Mysteries.

[249] They've done all this.

[250] Every time I go, look at this B -roll.

[251] They just like, everything is shot beautifully.

[252] it's all the families it's all the people that have been affected it's these people telling their own story it's just so well done but this episode about that I believe it was 2012 tsunami in Japan and the after effects and the ghosts the ghosts of people who don't know that they didn't survive though it kills me it was so sad yeah it's so sad and all the old footage of it was just like oh my God It's, yeah, it's a really rough one.

[253] I mean, it was, it was, I remember watching that, watching it as it happened.

[254] Remember when that truck backed up and then drove away and got away from the water?

[255] And it's so terrifying.

[256] But it's also a fascinating episode because you learn so much about that, that Northern Japan's culture.

[257] And I had no idea.

[258] I didn't understand any of that.

[259] And to have that, um, the monk that explains actually what kind of a lot of, of this is based in it's it's so fascinating you will it's beautiful it's so sad and touching and beautiful and it's just heartbreaking and when they open they open the cafe so everyone because they the loss of life was so massive for this area of japan yeah and then they just started trying to bring people together yeah i mean just watch it just watch it um borah that's good that was good my sister actually called me and told me i have to watch it and then tell her if she could handle it.

[260] And then I called her and said, no, you can't.

[261] You can't handle that.

[262] Yeah.

[263] Oh.

[264] Okay.

[265] Oh, my sister doesn't, she's not a fan of true crime or bad things or scary things.

[266] Wait, wait, wait.

[267] I'm talking about Borat.

[268] I thought you said Laura.

[269] My sister, my daughter.

[270] I moved on and you had it.

[271] My sister scared of Borat.

[272] Can I please tell my truth?

[273] Or are you just going to roll right over it?

[274] And I was like, let's confirm.

[275] Let's confirm again.

[276] Yep.

[277] She's scared of big moustaches.

[278] She's scared of pranks.

[279] Sorry, go ahead.

[280] No, nothing.

[281] It's just like, I liked it.

[282] It's subversive and it's kind of like it's a little anarchist, you know?

[283] It's like, it's cool.

[284] Here's my problem.

[285] By the time I'm watching TV at night, I need to relax.

[286] Yeah.

[287] And things like Borah, that's like what you, that's me going.

[288] doing it with friends if I have people around but by myself I literally grind my teeth watching things where people are being pranked or like where someone's I feel like I have to go do it totally it's it's very I fast forward through a lot of it it's super like gross and silly and like dumb in a lot of ways of course but it also is like the most like punk rock thing I've seen in a long fucking time awesome anything else well oh there's a show So there's two versions of this show.

[289] There's a British and an American.

[290] They're both called getting on.

[291] What it's a call?

[292] Sorry.

[293] Had to.

[294] Had to.

[295] I really like that character, though.

[296] That you just played the character with a girl that understands what you're talking about.

[297] Oh, the office.

[298] Oh, the office.

[299] And always guesses the office no matter what you're saying.

[300] Oh, that happened on the office once.

[301] Every time you tell her something about your life.

[302] Oh, you know what?

[303] Pam did that on the office once.

[304] Sorry, what was the name of the show?

[305] They'd be like, I can't talk to you right now.

[306] Um, the show's called Getting On.

[307] And I'd seen, I'd first seen the American version, which has Nisi Nash, Lori, I want to say Lori Kilmartin, because she's a stand -up comic that I love.

[308] Lori Metcalf from Roseanne.

[309] Oh, it's amazing.

[310] The nurse one.

[311] Yes.

[312] And Alex Borsey.

[313] Lori Metcalf.

[314] It's one of, we talked about this like years ago, I think.

[315] It's just one of the best fucking shows on TV.

[316] Okay.

[317] It's, it's so brilliantly done.

[318] if you are looking for any it's comedy but then there it's really poignant it's really beautifully played yeah i always knew it was based on a british show well here comes now that everything i'm watching is that i'm starting to get recommended so the original getting on comes up and i start watching it it is unbelievably great oh by the way the the english british british what the american the american one is on hbio i just looked it up okay the british one yeah Okay.

[319] The British one though is great.

[320] I haven't seen it.

[321] Yeah.

[322] The American ones on HBO if you want to watch it, it's amazing.

[323] But the British one, I was watching it on Prime, I guess.

[324] And it's just, it's really, really subtle and it's really fucking realistic.

[325] It's really realistic.

[326] And it's so good.

[327] There's one part where an old lady because it's their nurses in basically an aftercare.

[328] Yeah, like final.

[329] Final care.

[330] Final care section of the hospital.

[331] And there's this one nurse that just so dry and she's so over it.

[332] And she's and this old lady's yelling at her.

[333] And she was like, yeah, a terrible nurse.

[334] And she goes, I know it's a nightmare.

[335] Everybody says so.

[336] It's the best reaction.

[337] Like when someone's shitting on you, to wholeheartedly agree with them, you're just like, believe me, I was about to say it myself is my favorite.

[338] It's so hard being this bad.

[339] I fucking know.

[340] How do you guys feel?

[341] Everybody says so.

[342] It's the best.

[343] So, yeah, if you're looking for, if you're looking for anything, a little laugh.

[344] Getting on American, getting on British.

[345] Can't go wrong.

[346] Can't go wrong.

[347] Can't go wrong.

[348] Don't go wrong.

[349] Never go wrong.

[350] Never.

[351] Just keep it up.

[352] Never.

[353] Never.

[354] I have to say now I'm going to stop eating sour candy.

[355] The nerdsrope days are over.

[356] I went from Nerds Ropes into a chewy sweet tarts area that has ruined my teeth and my stomach and my way of life.

[357] And I'm done.

[358] Okay.

[359] I have to get back to basics because it's silly.

[360] I've been trying, well, Vince has been helping me a lot, try to find the best cookies and cream ice cream.

[361] Oh.

[362] Like who makes the best.

[363] That's a noble, a noble effort.

[364] Yeah.

[365] Where have you landed so far?

[366] So far, I mean, Hagendoss, of course, they're the best.

[367] Or you're like McConnell's.

[368] Is that the big one?

[369] Yeah.

[370] I mean, you can't.

[371] It's never bad.

[372] It's never bad.

[373] There is a Hagen -Doss limited edition that sometimes comes out and sometimes doesn't.

[374] Yeah.

[375] Called Midnight Cookies and Cream.

[376] That's just like, instead of the cream, it's like dark chocolate ice cream with cookies in it.

[377] So it's like cookies and chocolate cream.

[378] Yes.

[379] I'm getting it.

[380] It's so good.

[381] hearing it.

[382] That sounds amazing.

[383] See, I don't, I don't love cookies and cream because as a child, I honestly believed if you're going to get ice cream, anything that wasn't chocolate based was a waste of your time.

[384] I agree, except for that.

[385] But this one is now, don't even have to fucking deal with it.

[386] They're like, hey, Georgia, we know what you love.

[387] Yeah.

[388] And we want to give it to you.

[389] And I want to take it.

[390] And you can just get it in there.

[391] The office.

[392] But but the ice cream days had to end for me because I'm slowly trying to pare it down where it's like I had to do it I was just telling my friend this I had to do an ice cream embargo I had to do a cereal embargo and now it's a candy embargo because it's like you're going to have to leave your house and be seen at some point stop acting like that's never going to happen again it's happening now when I'm still you know what I mean just like come on life's still happening it's so fucking annoying it really it's kind of a pain in the ass Who goes first?

[393] Oh, hold.

[394] Please hold and I'm sorry.

[395] Okay, that's good.

[396] But I thought I didn't have a lot.

[397] But this is one thing I will share with you.

[398] And I'm going to send it to both of you right now, Georgia Stephen Ray.

[399] On Twitter, I get a tweet from someone named Addison, Hey Addison at Addison Hare.

[400] And they say, hey, Karen Kilgariff, Michael Myers has two arms to hold you with.

[401] And then they send me pictures.

[402] You can buy a 35 -foot.

[403] Michael Myers inflatable Halloween thing.

[404] 35 feet.

[405] 30?

[406] Okay, 35 fucking feet.

[407] Holy shit.

[408] Oh, my God.

[409] Can you see this?

[410] Yes.

[411] In the distance.

[412] A landscape shot and Michael Myers is humongous in the foreground.

[413] And he has a fucking knife.

[414] And he's kind of staring up at your window.

[415] Creepy.

[416] If your window was five stories high.

[417] which reminds us to talk about the new MFM animated by Nick Terry.

[418] Yes, yes.

[419] Just really quick, though, the inflatable Michael Myers is $3 ,000.

[420] So for rich people only.

[421] Oh, my God.

[422] But thank you, Addison, because honestly, I looked at that message and I was just like, this is simply the best thing you're seeing.

[423] This Halloween has really brought it in terms of joy, badly needed joy.

[424] Wait, I'm going to write Addison back right now.

[425] Now, what should I say to them?

[426] Hey, Addison.

[427] Hey, Addison.

[428] Thanks for the...

[429] This is Twitter down, so let's not be two.

[430] Okay.

[431] Thanks for the LOL.

[432] XOXO MFM.

[433] The lulls.

[434] Thanks for the lulls.

[435] And then put a gif of a kitten with a cake.

[436] Do it.

[437] Hey, Addison, thanks for the LOLs.

[438] And then a gif of that.

[439] Boom.

[440] Cool.

[441] we did it perfect that's now that's just like a little easter egg for people to find on twitter okay sorry what were you trying to say i was saying who goes first with the podcast of wait no i thought you were um i thought you just brought up mfm animated yes mfm animated the new one about your skeleton your 10 12 foot skeleton and suzy in the fucking buying office at sue depot sue what a joy here's a a deep cut that I wonder if anybody noticed but me. What Sue is doing when she's trying to explain to everybody how great it's going to be is exactly the cocaine bear.

[442] Oh, it's pointing at the, yeah.

[443] She's got a cigarette in her hand, and she's got the hairs coming off of her head, and she's just doing a mirror image of cocaine bear.

[444] With a whiteboard pointing out why, but it's just like, oh, it's good.

[445] It's just a little bit of a callback.

[446] There's so many details, and people kind of keep talking about the details.

[447] It's the cutest.

[448] The cute cutest, cutest thing.

[449] Anyway, you're first.

[450] I'm first.

[451] Okay.

[452] I'm going to, right?

[453] Because I went last, yeah, it was just me by myself last time, right?

[454] So I'd go first.

[455] Karen, you know I'm all about vintage shopping.

[456] Absolutely.

[457] And when you say vintage, you mean when you physically drive to a store and actually purchase something with cash.

[458] Exactly.

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[474] That's Shopify .com slash murder.

[475] Goodbye.

[476] Now let's get serious.

[477] All right.

[478] Okay.

[479] Here's a toughie, but unnecessary.

[480] This is the 16th Street Baptist Church bombing.

[481] Whoa.

[482] So I got information from the Zen Education Project website, FBI .gov, history .com, Wikipedia.

[483] And then I listen to a podcast.

[484] It's called the Black Story.

[485] But Black is spelled B -L -V -C -K story, hosted by a guy named Marquise.

[486] All right.

[487] This is a story that we all know that, you know, know and know how important it is to the civil rights movement, but don't know, I didn't know a ton of details about it.

[488] I just knew about this tragic event.

[489] So I thought it'd be good to kind of look more into it and have some background.

[490] Absolutely.

[491] Okay.

[492] So Birmingham, Alabama in the 1960s was nationally known as one of America's most racially discriminatory, violent, and segregated cities.

[493] Martin Luther King, of course, had been, he'd been arrested there in 1963 while leading a nonviolent campaign of demonstrations against segregation, and he described Birmingham as, quote, probably the most thoroughly segregated city in the United States.

[494] Throughout the civil rights movement, Birmingham was a major site of protest, marches, and sit -ins, and they're met with brutality by police and violence from its white citizens, and white supremacists plant homemade bombs in homes and churches so often that the city gets the nickname, Bombingham.

[495] Whoa.

[496] In fact, Birmingham is home to one of the first.

[497] the strongest and most violent chapters of the KKK, they openly backed then Governor George Wallace, who was an outspoken advocate for segregation, total piece of shit, as well as the city's police commissioner Eugene Bull Connor, who was notorious for using violence against demonstrators.

[498] I mean, it's just this like fucking firecracker of a city, you know?

[499] Yep.

[500] And it's because of these reasons that civil rights activists, made Birmingham a major focus of their efforts to desegregate the deep south.

[501] It's like going into the eye of the storm, you know, armed with only nonviolent, you know, options, which is fucking incredible and so brave, I can't even imagine.

[502] Local black churches are fundamental in the organization of these protests and members of the KKK routinely call in bomb threats to churches.

[503] They want to disrupt the civil rights meetings and church services alike that families go to on Sunday mornings.

[504] And the three -story 16th Street Baptist Church, which has a predominantly black congregation, it's also a rallying point for the city's black population and a routine meeting place for civil rights leaders for organizing and educating the marchers, which of course means it's a target for the racists.

[505] The morning of Sunday, September 15th, 1963 was a typical Sunday morning at the 16th Street Baptist Church.

[506] That date was having its youth day festivities.

[507] and around 200 church members were already there, including kids attending the Sunday school classes, and everyone's getting ready for the start of the services at 11 a .m. The sermon that day that was to be given was called A Love That Forgives, which is from Luke 2334, in which Jesus is on the cross and asks God to forgive those crucifying him.

[508] In the basement women's lounge, five little girls are excitedly changing into their choir robes, because in preparation for Youth Day, they were going to sing in the choir and be ushers for the services.

[509] At approximately 10 .22 a .m., an anonymous man calls the church, and when the call is answered, says the words, three minutes and then hangs up.

[510] But not one minute later, a bomb made of 15 sticks of dynamite that had been planted under the steps of the church, close to the basement, explodes, and blows a crater five feet wide and two feet deep in the exact spot where the five little girls were getting ready.

[511] Addie Mae Collins, who's 14, niece McNair, who's 11, Carol Robertson, who's 14, and Cynthia Wesley, also 14, are all killed instantly.

[512] The fifth girl, Adi May's younger sister, 12 -year -old Sarah Collins, survives, but has 21 pieces of glass embedded in her embedded in her face and she's blinded in one eye.

[513] In later recollections of the bombing, she says that in the moments immediately before the explosion, she watched as her sister Addy tied another girl's dress sash right before it happened.

[514] The explosion had shaken the entire building and blew a hole over seven feet in diameter in the church's rear wall, destroying the rear steps to the church.

[515] The blast was so strong.

[516] It blew passing motorist out of his car.

[517] And other cars, I know, it's fucking insane.

[518] And other cars parked near the site of the blast were destroyed.

[519] And windows of properties more than two blocks away from the church were also damaged.

[520] That's what an insane explosion it was.

[521] And the only stained glass window in the church that doesn't completely shatter shows Christ leading a group of little children.

[522] Violence escalates in Birmingham in the hours following the bombing.

[523] And, you know, there's just this outpouring.

[524] of anger about what's happened, you know, suddenly the children are involved.

[525] And, you know, it's, it's just, everyone's horrified by it.

[526] And then two more black youths, Johnny Robinson, who's 16, and Virgil Ware, who's 13, are shot to death within seven hours of the bombing.

[527] Robinson is shot in the back by a policeman as he runs away down an alley.

[528] He dies at the hospital.

[529] and Ware is shot in the cheek and chest with a revolver.

[530] So he's in a residential suburb 15 miles north of the city and a 16 -year -old white teen named Larry Sims.

[531] He's in a car, he sees wear on the handlebars of a bike and fires at him, reportedly with his eyes closed.

[532] Sims is later convicted of second -degree manslaughter and a judge suspends his sentence and imposes two years probation instead.

[533] Instead.

[534] In all, at least 20 people are injured from the initial bombing and the ensuing riots.

[535] The death of the girls draws national attention to Birmingham.

[536] Martin Luther King sends a telegram to Governor Wallace after the attack saying, quote, the blood of our little children is on your hands.

[537] Yeah.

[538] Yeah.

[539] And in fact, a week before the bombing, Wallace had said in an interview with the New York Times that he believed Alabama needed, quote, a few first class funerals to stop racial integrity.

[540] On September 18th, over 8 ,000 mourners attend the funerals for the three of the little girls at Reverend John Porter's 6th Avenue Baptist Church.

[541] The fourth little girl had a smaller private service.

[542] Martin Luther King also attends and addresses the mourners with a speech saying this tragic day may cause the white side to come to terms with its conscience.

[543] In spite of the darkness of this hour, we must not become bitter.

[544] not lose faith in our white brothers, life is hard, at times as hard as crucible steel, but today you do not walk alone.

[545] By September 20th, the FBI is able to confirm that the explosion was caused by a device that was purposely planted beneath the steps of the church close to the girls' bathroom, so it's right there.

[546] Some wire and pieces of red plastic are discovered and they think it was part of a timing device.

[547] Within days of the bombing, investigators start to focus their attention.

[548] on the KKK, a splinter group known as the Kahaba Boys.

[549] So the Khaba Boys formed earlier in 1963 because they felt that the KKK wasn't doing enough to combat desegregation.

[550] This group had previously been linked to several bomb attacks at black -owned businesses and the homes of black community leaders throughout the spring and summer of 1963.

[551] And they're considered one of the most violent groups in the South and are later found to be responsible for the 1961 attacks on the Freedom Riders at the Trailways bus station in Birmingham as well.

[552] The Cahaba Boys have fewer than 30 active members and among them are Thomas Blayton Jr., Herman Cash, Robert Chambliss, and Bobby Cherry, who eventually become the main suspects in the bombing at the 16th Street Church.

[553] Investigators gather numerous witness statements, and they say that they saw a group of white men in a turquoise Chevrolet, near the church in the early hours of the morning of September 15th, and they indicate that a white man exited the car and walked toward the steps of the church.

[554] And then physical descriptions closely matched with two of the main suspects.

[555] Chamblis is questioned by the FBI on September 26th, and three days later, he's indicted on charges of illegally purchasing and transporting dynamite, but no federal charges are filed against him or any of his fellow conspirators in relation to of the bombing.

[556] On May 13th, in 1965, about two years later, local investigators and the FBI formally named blatant cash Chambliss and Cherry as the four perpetrators of the bombing with Robert Chambliss, the likely ringleader of the four.

[557] But the director of the FBI, fucking J. Edgar Hoover, formally blocks any impending federal prosecutions against the subjects.

[558] He blocks it.

[559] No one's allowed to fucking move forward at all.

[560] He refuses to disclose any evidence his agents had obtained with the state or federal prosecutors.

[561] Why?

[562] Because he's a fucking racist piece of shit.

[563] Yeah, but, I mean, did he have to explain why?

[564] What the legal reason was?

[565] I don't think he does.

[566] And in 1968, the FBI closes the case officially.

[567] Uh -huh.

[568] And any files that are, you know, pertaining to the case are sealed by his order.

[569] The 16th Street Baptist Church bombing remains unsolved for around eight fucking years.

[570] But when William Baxley is elected Attorney General of Alabama in 1971, he works on reopening the case.

[571] Within one week of being sworn into office, Baxley researches original police files and determines that they're mostly worthless.

[572] So he requests access to the original FBI files on the case and he's met with resistance from the federal agency.

[573] and he publicly threatens the Department of Justice for withholding evidence that could result in the prosecution of the bombing suspects.

[574] And so finally, the FBI gives him their findings.

[575] And Jared G. Edgar Hoover had died in 1972.

[576] So it seems like maybe someone else was finally able to hand those over.

[577] He also seeks out the key witnesses and starts, like, building trust with them.

[578] And they eventually identify, identifies Shambliss as the individual who put.

[579] place the bomb beneath the church.

[580] And Vaxley also gathers evidence proving Chambliss had purchased dynamite from a store in Jefferson County less than two weeks before the bomb was planted.

[581] And he uses the witness testimony and this new evidence to finally formally construct a case against Robert Chambliss.

[582] So on November 14th, 1977, almost 15 years after the bombing, that's how freaking long it took.

[583] Robert Chambliss, now 73 years old, stands trial in Birmingham's Jefferson County courthouse after being indicted by a grand jury the month before on four counts of murder.

[584] At a pretrial hearing on October 18th, Judge Wallace Gibson rules that Chambliss will only be tried for the murder of Carol McNair, and he wasn't going to be charged in relation to the other three deaths.

[585] That's so crazy about it, and I urge everyone to go look at civil rights era photos in color because the black and white makes it seem so long ago and it's fucking not and in fact these one of the little girls who was killed her friend at the time her childhood friend was condoleezza rice so that are you serious yeah so that tells you that how how recent it was you know they they would not have been these old ladies now they were no it was not that long ago and you know it's just it's horrifying yeah so one of the key witnesses that testifies for the prostitution execution at Chambliss's trial is Reverend Elizabeth Cobbs, who happens to be Chambliss's own niece.

[586] And I mean, the fear that the witnesses must have had testifying against these people who were just clearly terrorists.

[587] Yeah.

[588] They're terrorists.

[589] So it takes a lot of chutzbara to do that.

[590] She states that her uncle repeatedly informed her he had been engaged in what he referred to as a one -man battle against black people since the 1940s.

[591] She also says that on the day before the bombing, he had told her he had enough dynamite in his possession to, quote, flatten half of Birmingham.

[592] In his closing statements before the jury on November 17th, Baxley acknowledges that Chambliss is not the sole perpetrator of the bombing and says that if Denise were alive right now, she'd be turning 26 because it happened to be her birthday, that exact same day.

[593] Oh.

[594] The jury deliberates for six hours.

[595] And on November 18th, 1977, they thank Robert Jambliss, guilty of the murder of Carol Denise McNair and sentenced him to life imprisonment.

[596] He tries to appeal by saying that the evidence presented was circumstantial and that the 14 -year delay between the crime and his trial violated his constitutional right to a speedy trial.

[597] Bullshit.

[598] I mean.

[599] Yeah.

[600] This appeal is dismissed.

[601] and he dies in prison on October 29, 1985 at the age of 81.

[602] In 1995, 10 years after Shamblis dies, the FBI reopens their investigation into the church bombing as part of a coordinated effort between local state and federal governments to review cold cases of the civil rights era.

[603] Good.

[604] I mean, it took to 1995 from the 60s to give any attention to these cases.

[605] It's horrific.

[606] They encealed 9 ,000 pieces of evidence previously gathered by the FBI in the 1960s.

[607] Many of those documents relating to the 16th Street Baptist Church bombing had not been made available to Baxley in the 1970s, even though he was threatening them to get them released.

[608] Right.

[609] Senior agent Bill Fleming is assigned the bombings case, and he recruits Birmingham Police Department Sergeant Ben Huron to work on it full time.

[610] So initially reluctant to take the case, given that more than 100 potential witnesses had died in the decades since the bombing.

[611] But in 1996, Heron remembers thinking that it was the ultimate cold case and said, quote, but if we're going to do it, we need to do it right because this is the last time it would be feasible to try to reinvestigate.

[612] Yeah.

[613] You know, for nearly 15 months, they scour case files with a singular focus.

[614] on finding new leads.

[615] And they eventually tracked down Bobby Cherry, one of the original suspects, and they interview him for four hours.

[616] And Cherry gets so pissed off about being interrogated like that, that he calls a press conference to proclaim his innocence.

[617] And it makes national news.

[618] And because of it, the FBI's phone start ringing.

[619] And Fleming said, quote, this was the best thing to happen to our investigation because we started getting witnesses and people that were able to give us.

[620] information.

[621] Nice.

[622] Yeah.

[623] These same witness accounts would eventually implicate Cherry.

[624] At his trial, Cherry pleads not guilty to the charges.

[625] He chooses not to testify on his own behalf, but survivor Sarah Collins Rudolph, she testifies against him.

[626] Can you imagine?

[627] On May 22nd, 2002, after almost seven hours of deliberation, the jury four women announces the verdict, which convicts Bobby Cherry on four counts of first -degree murder and sentences him to four life terms.

[628] Relatives of the four little girls openly weep in relief.

[629] He dies, yeah.

[630] He dies of cancer on November 18, 2004, at age 74, while incarcerated, still.

[631] So more tips roll in and other witnesses step forward, and Fleming and Heron expand their focus to Tommy Blanton, another original suspect.

[632] and discover that agents in the 1960s had planted listening devices in his home.

[633] Oh.

[634] They find the old reel -to -reel tapes, and it's this scratchy audio in which Blanton explains to his wife and another man the details of how the bomb plot unfolded.

[635] They have fucking audio of it.

[636] Jesus Christ.

[637] No one ever passed on.

[638] So they relied on those tapes at the trial, and a jury in 2001 took a couple hours to render a guilty verdict against Blanton on state murder charges.

[639] He's sentenced to life imprisonment, and he dies June 26, 2020.

[640] So a couple months ago.

[641] A couple months ago, yeah.

[642] The fourth original suspect, Herman Cash, unfortunately, had died in 1994 at 75.

[643] So he never gets punished.

[644] He never gets any fucking punishment for this horrific crime that he committed.

[645] Fleming and Harron both have said the investigation was the most rewarding case they ever worked.

[646] Heron said, quote, you feel like you have, you feel like you've done the job.

[647] Even though it looked like a tremendous uphill battle, we finally got justice for the little girls.

[648] Outrage over the murder of the four girls became a turning point in the civil rights movement.

[649] I think a lot of people who had been, you know, who knew what was going on and kind of had been in the periphery, you know, suddenly realized how dire and how violent and how awful, you know, what was going on.

[650] And it was a turning point for them.

[651] And it helped build support for the struggle to end segregation.

[652] Two months after the bombing, JFK is assassinated.

[653] And he, of course, was an ardent supporter of the civil rights cause.

[654] he had proposed the Civil Rights Act of 1963, and the movement is galvanized by the outpouring of grief over his death.

[655] So on July 2nd, 1964, now President Lyndon Johnson signs into effect the Civil Rights Act of 1964, which prohibits discrimination based on race, color, religion, gender, or national origin to ensure full equal rights of African Americans before the law.

[656] And the Voting Rights Act of 1965 is also passed, aimed to overcome legal barriers at the state and local levels that prevents African Americans from exercising their right to vote because you will get beaten if you go to the fucking polling places.

[657] If you try to vote, whether it's legal or not, when it was, you will be attacked.

[658] Right.

[659] Very relevant today.

[660] Sadly.

[661] The shit that we're seeing.

[662] And the shit that we never even understood was happening or wouldn't have.

[663] It never makes the news.

[664] Yeah.

[665] The idea that if you, if you vote in a certain area of, say, Atlanta, you're going to have to stand in line for eight hours.

[666] They'll make it that way to make it harder for you.

[667] And you don't get time off work.

[668] You cannot get paid to leave your fucking job and go vote.

[669] That's not a thing.

[670] Right.

[671] So following the bombing, the 16th Street Baptist Church remains closed for over eight months as repairs are conducted.

[672] And it's declared a national historic landmark in 2006, and it's still an active place of worship today.

[673] 50 years after the bombing, on May 24, 2013, President Barack Obama awarded a posthumous congressional gold medal to the four girls, killed in the 1963 16th Street Baptist Church bombing.

[674] Addie Mae Collins, who was an outgoing artistic girl, she would go door to door in the white neighborhoods to sell April.

[675] and pot holders that her mother had stitched to help make ends meet.

[676] Carol Robertson, who was a good student.

[677] She loved reading and dancing.

[678] She sang in her elementary school choir and played the clarinet and was a member of the Jack and Jill of America Club.

[679] It's a civic -minded youth and family organization.

[680] Cynthia Wesley, who was raised by a single mother, but stayed with her adoptive parents.

[681] She could attend a better school where she excelled at math, reading, and band, and Denise McNair, 11 years old, who performed in plays, dance routines, and poetry readings to raise money for muscular dystrophy research.

[682] And that is the 16th Street Baptist Church bombing.

[683] Wow.

[684] Well, let's take an incredibly left turn.

[685] Because mine is one of those stories this week that I have read a bunch of times.

[686] but it's just kind of like pure insane chaos so i've always just gone like i don't even know how to research that i'm just going to put it aside yeah um but it is it's just a it's kind of a one of the class a classic true crime what in the living fuck are you talking about story this is the story um of the california witch killers some people call them the san francisco witch killers okay but they did it all over the stage they they crossed They just went up and down, California, just doing whatever the fuck.

[687] It's so crazy and insane.

[688] So, I don't know if I know this one.

[689] It's funny.

[690] I've, like, almost picked it so many times.

[691] But there's a certain level of just, like, I don't even know what you, like, it's basically two mentally ill people then who then mixed in drugs and mixed in, it's a folly adieu.

[692] they call you know when when it's basically they're both they're sharing a delusion yeah like no one thinks to say this is we shouldn't do this is crazy it's just and also they're just not around other people because they're just doing drugs and telling each other what the plan is and it's you know it's one of these stories so um got information of course from wikipedia oxygen dot com had a whole article on it um there is an id series called when couples kill that has tons of information and detail, although they were wrong about a couple things where some of the mapping on this might be inaccurate because they, the whole thing ends in Santa Rosa, which is the town, one town north of Petaluma.

[693] Yeah.

[694] But they say it all ended in Napa County.

[695] And I'm like, is there some weird wine snob that's just trying to talk about Napa in this story?

[696] Because that baby, that's Sonoma County.

[697] And then there's a, on Medium .com, there's a really awesome comprehensive article called The San Francisco Witch Killers by Delaney R. Bartlett, which is great.

[698] So, so it starts in 1981, a 23 year old woman named Karen Barnes.

[699] She's an aspiring actress, um, originally from Georgia.

[700] And she's, um, moved to the Hayd Ashbury, um, neighborhood in San Francisco, um, to pursue an acting career.

[701] So I think she was like trying to go to the stopover point before she got to Los Angeles maybe.

[702] Well, there's a lot of playhouses there, right?

[703] Like theaters.

[704] There's theater there.

[705] Yeah.

[706] And there's a couple like, you know, there's a couple theater schools and stuff.

[707] But so it is funny to me of like, I'm going to pursue an acting career.

[708] So I'm going to California, but I'm going to go to Stockton.

[709] Right.

[710] Six hours away from where it all goes down.

[711] Where it actually happens.

[712] that's fine I did the exact same route myself and I also lived in the Hayd Ashbury and in the ID one couples killed episode that I watched I was positive they were showing the front of the first apartment we lived in in San Francisco because it was upper upper hate yeah and it was one of those Victorian split level you know that we lived on the first floor and but there was also a base there's a basement apartment first floor second floor yeah um and so she lived in a place like that um and she lived in the in the basement apartment um so she's very open minded she's very interested in the spiritual aspects of the recent 70s counterculture movement she's just kind of like free spirit open minded interested in like being around interesting people yeah um so one night she goes to a party and she meets this couple who's talking about meditation they're talking about psychic experience and psychic behavior, and she's just drawn to their outsider spiritual beliefs and starts talking to them, and they introduce themselves as Michael and Susan Bear.

[713] So as they get to, you know, chatting, they let her know that they need a place to stay.

[714] So she's very open -minded and generous, and she's like, oh, I have an apartment.

[715] You can come and stay in my apartment in the Haydashbury.

[716] And they do.

[717] They end up moving in with her.

[718] So it goes bad relatively quickly because they end up just being kind of like these old hippie drug dealers and they're both super weird and super they're combative and they're weird and it's kind of strange.

[719] So on the morning of March 7th, 1981, police respond to a neighbor's call about a disturbance in Karen's apartment.

[720] And when they go inside the basement apartment, they find strange drawings all over the walls.

[721] unrecognizable strange symbols and the name Susan written all around them they look through the apartment and in the kitchen they find Karen's body wrapped in a blanket her skull's been crushed and she's been stabbed 13 times in the neck and face one of Karen's friends hears something's going on at Karen's apartment so she rushes over and when she finds out that Karen's been murdered she tells the police that Karen's new roommates were these bizarre drug -dealing hippies, and that they should start looking for those people.

[722] When they speak to Karen's mother, she tells the police that although the couple went by Michael and Susan Bear, their actual last name was Carson, which was a key element to know, for them to know.

[723] But when the police try to locate the couple for questioning, they're nowhere to be found.

[724] So, so Michael Carson, who his first name was actually James, not Michael.

[725] Okay.

[726] He's born in 1950, grows up in Oklahoma to a regular middle class family.

[727] He's interested in history and religion and philosophy.

[728] And he goes, ends up going to the University of Iowa to study.

[729] And that's where he meets his first wife.

[730] So they get married in the 70s.

[731] They have a daughter named Jennifer.

[732] and they moved to Arizona.

[733] Now, the wife is the breadwinner of the family while James at the time stays home.

[734] He's basically a house husband.

[735] He takes care of Jennifer and he sells pot for, like, extra cash.

[736] The first I was like, good for him for taking gender.

[737] Wait, wait a minute.

[738] Don't like that.

[739] Oh, okay.

[740] Oh, I get it.

[741] Yeah.

[742] So it's alternative for the time.

[743] But he's a loving husband.

[744] And in that when couples kill, the daughter, Jennifer actually speaks on camera.

[745] And she said he was a loving father.

[746] She loved growing up with him.

[747] He was great.

[748] Wow.

[749] So as the years go by, his personality begins to change, which is usually the story, right?

[750] So he becomes more and more antisocial, starts having irrational, angry outbursts regularly.

[751] And that coupled with his refusal to get a job, leads to, um, the couple's divorce in 1977.

[752] So then, meanwhile, Susan of Michael and Susan couple, her name's originally Susan Barnes, and she had spent the 60s as a typical housewife and a mother of two, two boys in Scottsdale, Arizona.

[753] But as the counterculture, the popularity of it begins to rise in the late 60s, 70s, she starts experimenting with acid, with mescaline, with peyote, and also, and this is the part that makes my skin crawl, she starts hanging out with her son and their friends, who are all in high school.

[754] And she even sleeps with her son's friends, also known as statutory rape.

[755] And word on the street is that she has slept with 150, like, high school boys.

[756] Now, whether that's gossip, because she's just the weird.

[757] one.

[758] Yeah.

[759] Um, I just ache for those boys who had a mother that was that invasive of their lives and disrespectful and then also clearly not okay.

[760] Yeah.

[761] Around the age 35, Susan begins having visions.

[762] Um, while she's on drugs, but also even when she's sober, she had always believed that she had psychic powers, but now she's actually having these, these visions, uh, or hallucinations.

[763] And she's taking them very serious.

[764] seriously, but no one else does.

[765] In fact, her husband's like, this is it for me, and he divorces her.

[766] Susan, though, sees this as an opportunity to reinvent herself.

[767] She changes her name from Susan with an ass to Susan with a Z. Z's in the middle.

[768] Susan.

[769] She keeps one ass.

[770] She keeps an ass and she gets her to another.

[771] And then she kicks one to the curb and gets crazy and puts a Z in her name.

[772] I'm sorry and I know we've said this time and again.

[773] But if you're micromanaging the spelling of your name as a way to express yourself, take a fucking pottery class.

[774] Like actually get into what self -expression is.

[775] It has nothing to do with the spelling of your name.

[776] There's no I or Y that's going to substitute for your fucking creativity.

[777] No. An E -I -G -H instead of a Y. means nothing about you as a person.

[778] Actually, do something, do something real.

[779] Learn tarot reading.

[780] There's so many ways to express your stuff.

[781] Who will be a little play?

[782] Write a play.

[783] Write a play about the alphabet and how much it means to you.

[784] You fucking lunatic.

[785] Okay.

[786] Now, here's the real, she decides that she is going to become Muslim.

[787] But of course, not in the actual effect.

[788] sense, not in a real way.

[789] She kind of adopts the Muslim religion and then decides to fit it to her lifestyle.

[790] In 1974, she has a mescaline induced division instructing her to find a soulmate and a loyal disciple, which I'm also in the market for.

[791] These dates.

[792] I don't just want someone to share my life.

[793] I want someone to boss around.

[794] That's beautiful.

[795] Thank you.

[796] so much.

[797] I'm sure you'll find it, Karen.

[798] Thank you.

[799] I believe.

[800] So three years later at a party in 1977, she meets James Carson.

[801] It just happened to be at the same fucking, like, what are the chances, you know?

[802] I mean, they're just like two crazy magnets drawing together.

[803] Yeah.

[804] So they meet at this party.

[805] He introduces himself.

[806] He says, hi, my name's James.

[807] She immediately says, no, your name's Michael.

[808] No. Yes.

[809] She does.

[810] Okay.

[811] She does.

[812] She's, she, says she had a vision about him and that he's he is essentially the angel michael who fought the devil uh which not sure about that but um but he immediately is like you're right my name's michael immediately goes so now she's actually like here he is because he's my he's my follower i'm going to be able to tell him what to do he's actually saying sure i'll change my name i just met this lady so it's like it's love at first sight yeah they hit it off in the worst way they immediately get together as we used to say in high school um and soon after susan with a z has another vision instructing them to change that that they need that they need to have the last name bear the two of them bear bear bear like the animal okay uh so they become susan and michael bear but not legally.

[813] So as Michael falls deeper under Susan's spell, Michael's first wife grows increasingly concerned for herself and her daughter's safety.

[814] Rightfully so.

[815] So she's afraid Michael might try to kidnap Jen, take her away, or do something to the family.

[816] So she cuts all ties with him, stops talking to him entirely, and anyone else who knows him, basically so that he can never find them again and that he can't find his daughter.

[817] Susan and Michael travel around in search of spiritual enlightenment and while dealing drugs.

[818] They claim to be, quote, vegan Muslim warriors of God.

[819] But, of course, their belief is entirely made up and has absolutely nothing to do with.

[820] And, in fact, is mostly in direct conflict with the tenets of Islam.

[821] Like, it's just starting with dealing with drugs, dealing drugs.

[822] I mean, it's insane.

[823] And then in that their kind of like spiritual quest, Michael learns about an ancient sect called the Hash Hashishim.

[824] And they were basically this sect of assassins.

[825] They would smoke hash and then go kill their enemies.

[826] And it's where the word assassin comes from, actually.

[827] Just a little piece of trivia.

[828] So he decides that's what they are.

[829] And that's what he wants to do.

[830] Susan's like, yeah, but we kill witches.

[831] And basically they got it into their drug -out old brains, that there were witches everywhere.

[832] And the witches were using mental powers to control others and try to control them so that it's their mission in life to kill witches.

[833] Man, drugs.

[834] Drugs, baby.

[835] It's like when you come up with theories about what your life is all about, and it has to do with killing other.

[836] people in a righteous way, again, check in with an adult or a qualified psychiatric.

[837] Right.

[838] Check yourself into rehab.

[839] Medical.

[840] Yeah.

[841] Start with rehab.

[842] Then go to a mental hospital.

[843] Oh, that's right.

[844] They don't have those anymore.

[845] Right.

[846] Because we've cut all mental health services.

[847] Okay.

[848] So Susan and Michael, they start out together in Arizona.

[849] In 1978, they take a trip.

[850] to Europe.

[851] They're kind of trying to preach this religion that they're making up.

[852] At one point, they're in England.

[853] They stop at Stonehenge.

[854] They get married, quote, unquote, beneath the moonlight, not a legal marriage, just a weird pseudo -hippie moonlight ceremony.

[855] But soon they run out of money.

[856] In 1980, they make it to San Francisco, to the Haydashbury.

[857] And at some point there, they go to this party.

[858] and they freak out almost everybody at the party except for 23 -year -old aspiring actress Karen Barnes who is basically there to kind of be like you know I want to talk to and meet weird people and explore what life outside of what I already know to be like open -hearted and to see what the universe holds for her yet so sad yeah she's a very spiritual person herself so she's a very spiritual person herself so she's intrigued by when they're speaking about this religion kind of thing that they're talking about, you know, she wants to hear it.

[859] And as I said, she lets them come and stay at her apartment.

[860] But Michael and Susan actually want more.

[861] They want Karen to join in on their relationship and they want to become a thruple with her because she's a gorgeous blonde actress.

[862] I mean, she looks like an actress.

[863] Yeah.

[864] So she declines and that's when Susan tells Michael Karen is a witch yeah so when Karen comes home from work on March 6, 1981 Michael follows her into the kitchen beats her in the head with a skillet then grabs a knife and stabs her a total of 13 times they rest Karen's head on a pillow wrap her body in a blanket and then draw these bizarre religious symbols all over the walls and the name Susan with a Z so then they and then of course they get out of town and what they do is they hitchhike all the way up to Oregon they get to Grants Pass and they there they find so it's kind they're out in the wilderness and they walk in the wilderness until they find this abandoned shack so they hide out there and while the investigation of Karen's murder is taking place in San Francisco and that runs cold because they can't find the bears and so basically Michael and Susan are squatting in his cabin for months.

[865] At one point, they run out of supplies.

[866] So while Susan stays behind in this shack, Michael hitchhikes to Los Angeles.

[867] Yeah, which I'm like, how about you just go to the nearest town?

[868] But he basically, they didn't give a reason, but he leaves for a while to basically go get supplies.

[869] when he gets back, by the time he gets back, Susan's starving and she's delusional in this cabin.

[870] And they eventually get discovered by a park ranger who kicks them out and, like, you can't squat here.

[871] So they head south and hitchhike back down into California.

[872] And they get all the way down near Big Sur.

[873] And they get picked up by a really nice local who offers to let them stay.

[874] in a tree house he's built on his property near the Ventana Wilderness, which is that big, beautiful, like, foresty area by Big Sur.

[875] Wow.

[876] But, and they stay there for a little while, but of course, they become combative with a man. They argue, they freak him out with their weird beliefs and eccentricities.

[877] Apparently, Susan had this weird habit of smiling at really inappropriate times.

[878] And I saw a little bit of video of her And it's really scary It's very odd Yeah She smiles and laughs When you're not supposed to Oh god Yeah so In spring of 1982 The man finally kicks them out of the tree house He's like I've been nice enough to you To retaliate Susan and Michael Rob his house And set it on fire Holy shit Yeah And then they basically run And hitchhike back north, so now they're going back up north to Humboldt, and they've stolen a handgun from this man's house.

[879] So they had that with him.

[880] They make it all the way to a town called Alder Point in Humboldt County, where they find work and housing working on a weed farm.

[881] So it's an early 80s weed farm.

[882] So it must have been highly secretive and, you know, kind of scary.

[883] But also in Humboldt, it's like in the early 80s, it's just there's nothing up there.

[884] basically it's real wild and you know sparsely populated so they waste no time in revealing how weird they are to the fellow pot farm workers launching into their belief about anarchy with killing witches their desire for revolution their prediction of a nuclear apocalypse in the not too distant future they're also constantly bickering they're just all around not the best right and basically everyone kind of like bum out tolerates them until the pot farm owner's friend Clark Stevens shows up to work on the farm too.

[885] And Clark is a really outgoing, gregarious guy.

[886] He loves to drink.

[887] He loves to party.

[888] And immediately Susan and Michael don't like him and butt heads with him.

[889] They're offended by his behavior, by his partying ways, and by his talk, you know, swearing and, you know, swearing and, you know, whatever him just being himself um susan calls it an affront to allah okay we which again they're not actually talking about right you are being muslim and a meaning yeah exactly you're the definition of an affront to all so when clark arrives for work one day in may of nineteen eighty two susan tries to keep him from coming on to the property he's angry he cusses Susan out trying to get her to move and basically Susan um goes back to Michael and says he swore at me which is the equivalent of rape and he is definitely a witch and you have to kill him so Michael takes the stolen handgun um and shoots Clark in the face um then he dumps lighter fluid and this is so it's out on this farm where they basically are the farm is in the middle of the woods to keep the pot hidden.

[890] Yeah.

[891] So they're they're kind of out in the middle of nowhere anyway.

[892] Then, um, so he kills Clark by shooting him.

[893] Then he, uh, tries to light the body on fire to get rid of the evidence, but it doesn't burn entirely.

[894] So, um, he dumps a bunch of fertilizer on it in the woods and then just leaves the body there and they're on the run again.

[895] Yeah.

[896] Yeah.

[897] So Clark Stevens has reported, reported missing to the Humboldt County police.

[898] And, And two weeks after that confrontation, a dog on the farm is found playing with what they think is a ball.

[899] And when they get up close, it's a human skull.

[900] Oh, geez.

[901] So they call the police.

[902] It's a pot farm in 1982.

[903] And they have to call the police to be like, something terrible has happened.

[904] Because I'm sure deep down they were like, this is the worst case scenario of our missing friend.

[905] Totally.

[906] So police find Clark's burnt remains, buried.

[907] in the woods and Michael and Susan are of course the prime suspects um so on the run again Michael and Susan make it down to Trinity County which is kind of right over the state line there kind of where Eureka is um so they're on the run right and they're hitchhiking and at one point they're they're in the woods somehow kind of hiking through and they see all these police with flashlights and police dogs and they think it's the cops have found them well what was actually happening it was a search and rescue team or looking for a lost hiker so they both and I'm sure they're still on drugs so they dump both their backpacks and run in different directions when police find those abandoned backpacks and search them they find pot they find 38 caliber caliber bullets they find an ID for a man named Richard Errata and they also find an anarchist manifesto entitled Cry for War.

[908] Why did they leave their fucking backpacks?

[909] Why don't they take them?

[910] They panicked.

[911] They thought the cops, like, because they were heavy.

[912] Yeah.

[913] And they needed to run.

[914] So they just dumped them and ran, I guess.

[915] That's my, that's my theory.

[916] And also, that's what the B -roll in the episode of one couple's kill made it look like.

[917] So it could have been, they'd already taken them off.

[918] I don't know.

[919] Basically, this manifesto features a hit list of prominent figures.

[920] It declares that God wants them to kill Ronald Reagan, who is the current president, and Johnny Carson.

[921] And the reason was because their first, middle and last names, both of those men's first middle and the last names, each had six letters, six, six, six, six.

[922] Oh, my God.

[923] So they're doing, so we're talking drugs, drugs, drugs.

[924] That's like the druggiest thinking of all time.

[925] Totally.

[926] The police lift fingerprints off the manuscript.

[927] they ID Michael who's wanted for questioning and the murder of Clark Stevens and because it contained death threats to the president the secret service is also notified.

[928] Got it.

[929] So Michael's on the run and he makes it all the way down to Alhambra right in Southern California.

[930] So one night he's walking down the street in Alhambra and he is, they ID him mistakenly for a rape suspect of a rape that had just happened so the description matched Michael because he had this big crazy beard and long dark hair so the cop basically gets out he's and he still has the gun that he used to co -clerc but he's hiding it in basically in his crotch like in the front of his pants so the cop makes him get down on the ground and lay on the ground and then he pats him down like that so he doesn't feel the gun because it's in its crotch.

[931] So then the cop puts him in the cop car and takes him into the police station to take his picture to be identified.

[932] He tells him his name is Richard Arata because that's the name that was on the ID that he had.

[933] But he gets his picture taken.

[934] They fax it to the hospital.

[935] The rape victim sees the picture and says that's not the guy.

[936] So the officer ends up letting him go.

[937] Oh, no. Yeah.

[938] And then when the next shift officer, comes on duty, it's, I guess, part of the job they go through the patrol car, and that shift officer, oh, sorry, he finds the gun that Michael had had in his crotch.

[939] He had taken it out of his pants and shoved it into the backseat of the cop car so that it wasn't on his person when he went into the station.

[940] Okay.

[941] So once they found that, they knew this guy actually, they should have kept him.

[942] Yeah.

[943] They put out an APB for Richard Arrata.

[944] They run ballistics.

[945] test on that gun and find out it's the same gun that killed Clark Stevens.

[946] Whoa.

[947] Yeah.

[948] So now they know the guy that they had was like actually a murder.

[949] Yeah.

[950] But it was the early 80s where they did have a database but they didn't think to check it.

[951] Right.

[952] And it probably didn't work that fast either.

[953] It was those really slow computers where you put in your request and it comes back four days later.

[954] Yeah.

[955] Okay.

[956] So So Suzanne and Michael had a plan they to meet up in Sonora, California, which is this little mountain town that's like east of Stockton and a little bit north of Yosemite.

[957] So it's out in the middle of nowhere.

[958] Basically, they end up meeting back up and finding each other in Sonora.

[959] Oh, my God.

[960] Yeah.

[961] Yeah.

[962] I mean.

[963] No cell phones.

[964] No cell phones, no nothing modern.

[965] And they end up meeting each other.

[966] they end up eventually getting back up to Portland because they had a friend that lived there so there was somewhere to crash of course almost immediately the friends like you guys got to get the fuck out of here you're the worst and they do peacefully except they steal another 38 pistol that was at the friend's house so they stay on the run until January of 1983 when they are at that point they're hitchhiking down near Bakersfield And they're picked up by a 30 -year -old named John Hellier.

[967] So John, he's driving a pickup truck.

[968] He's going north.

[969] That's where they want to go.

[970] So he picks them up.

[971] Susan's in the middle.

[972] Michael's on the other side.

[973] And relatively soon after they get picked up, Susan lets Michael know very discreetly that she knows John's a witch.

[974] So they end up taking the, they basically, they end up driving.

[975] up to Sonoma County from Bakersfield.

[976] So I think this guy was probably thinking he had this long trip to go on.

[977] And he didn't.

[978] It's five hours.

[979] So he doesn't want to go by himself.

[980] So he picks up this couple like, oh, at least we can hang.

[981] But of course, they're insane.

[982] How subtle do you think she really was letting him know that the driver's a witch?

[983] I bet it was as subtle as they thought it was.

[984] You know, and you're on drugs.

[985] Yeah, probably not.

[986] And regular subtle are two very different things.

[987] I wonder if it's just like, and if I smile real big.

[988] you'll know that we're there's a witch in town yeah um so and then there's all you know immediately there's conflict because he has country music on the radio she doesn't like it you know there's all these things and at one point his leg touches her leg and that's when she they're they're in sonoma county at this point and she basically turns gives michael the signal and lets him know that it's time to kill the witch she leans forward and michael pulls out the 38 and John's like, holy shit.

[989] And he ends up what they're on the freeway.

[990] Oh my god.

[991] He ends up fighting him off, making sure like the gun doesn't go off and pulling over to the side of the road.

[992] Holy shit.

[993] Getting out of the truck that Michael and Susan follow and chase him.

[994] There's a fight on the shoulder of the freeway that goes on for so long that people again, no cell phones.

[995] It's 1982.

[996] Sorry, it's 1983.

[997] There's a fruit stand on the other side of the freeway that can see it happening and they end up calling the police.

[998] And there's all these witnesses driving by seeing this crazy fight on the side of the road.

[999] John is trying to wrestle the gun away from Michael.

[1000] But at some point in the fight, Susan gets her hands on a knife and ends up stabbing John, which then incapacidates him.

[1001] He can't fight anymore.

[1002] And then Michael shoots him.

[1003] Oh, man, I really wanted him to win.

[1004] I know, I did too.

[1005] So now there's witnesses everywhere.

[1006] The police are on the way.

[1007] So Michael and Susan steal the truck and they speed off.

[1008] 30 -year -old John Hellyer is pronounced dead at the hospital.

[1009] So the police, meanwhile, have the description.

[1010] They know all these.

[1011] There's so many witnesses that they know exactly.

[1012] So now they actually end up being able to find.

[1013] and begin to chase Michael and Susan in John's truck.

[1014] And a high -speed chase ensues.

[1015] Susan's the one driving.

[1016] Oh, my God.

[1017] So they drive for a little while, but eventually she loses control of the truck.

[1018] They go careening into a ditch and the truck crashes.

[1019] They survive.

[1020] The police arrest Michael and Susan.

[1021] In custody, Michael and Susan don't answer any questions that the police ask them about the Clark Stevens murder, they just want to talk about their religion, about Susan's ESP powers and about the threat of witches.

[1022] Susan tells police they are in the midst of a holy war against witches.

[1023] They're held in jail as this investigation continues and basically Michael starts complaining that they're not getting enough press.

[1024] Uh -huh.

[1025] So he basically says they've killed the biggest witch of the mall in San Francisco and that they should be getting that reporters should know this story and be reporting this story well the police hear him say that and now basically they're like that was a confession to Karen Barnes's murder so that so now they know so they're basically they're like okay what you want to you want to tell your story let's set it up because they're like now we'll find out any whatever they've been doing at least we'll know they basically set up a press conference for the two two of them to talk instead of a normal interrogation that would be recorded and trying to get them to confess.

[1026] They're like, okay, it's a press conference.

[1027] So on March 10th, 1983, Michael and Susan sit with this big bunch of reporters and launch into a six -hour rant about all of their beliefs and all of the things that they've been doing.

[1028] And it's on video.

[1029] Can you watch it?

[1030] There was a clip of it on that TV show.

[1031] I'm sure watching it is exhausting mentally.

[1032] If you were one of those reporters, I'd just be like, this is such bullshit.

[1033] You would literally run to the nearest bar when you left that because they clearly are not okay.

[1034] She's standing there smiling.

[1035] He has dead eyes and he's just looking off the distance, kind of talking about what's happening.

[1036] And it's really is a very upsetting, clear mental illness and clear brain generation from drug use.

[1037] I mean, that's just what it is.

[1038] They talk about George Orwell's 1984.

[1039] They call Ronald Reagan the devil, which isn't too far off.

[1040] And 1984 is a great book.

[1041] Yeah.

[1042] They say that witches prevent a universal threat.

[1043] They all need to be killed.

[1044] And they say that their system is the best for exterminating witches.

[1045] Susan has her visions about who's the witch.

[1046] And then Michael kills them.

[1047] So during this, they end up confessing to the murders of Karen Barnes, Clark Stevens, and John Hellier.

[1048] And so the two both end up being each charged with three counts of first degree murder.

[1049] And from what I can tell, that a press conference does not go wide.

[1050] So their first trial begins in late May, 1984, for the murder of Karen Barnes.

[1051] Just before the trial begins, they withdraw their confessions and they plead not guilty.

[1052] But it's too late, and on June 12, 1984, after just three days, they're both found guilty of Karen's murder, and they're each sentence to 25 years to life.

[1053] Then they're tried for Clark Stevens' murder, and again, very quickly, they're found guilty, and they each receive a sentence of 50 years to life.

[1054] Their third trial for John Hellyer's murder ends.

[1055] Similarly, they each get 75 years to life for his murder.

[1056] Neither Michael or Susan ever express any remorse for the killings.

[1057] In fact, when asked, they just talk more about the hit list that they have.

[1058] On top of that, the couple is now considered suspects in at least a dozen other murder cases across the country.

[1059] And in Europe that line up with their kind of nomadic travels.

[1060] Unfortunately, there was no, not enough evidence was ever found to confirm or deny any of those cases, but there are definitely deaths that line up with the way, how they moved around America and Europe.

[1061] I wonder how many people they killed.

[1062] Yeah.

[1063] So in December of 2015, that's the first time Susan's eligible for parole.

[1064] She's quickly denied.

[1065] And her next parole hearing will tentatively be in December of 2030.

[1066] Michael Carson, James Carson, but Michael Carson, is supposed to be considered for parole in June 2005.

[1067] but he waives his suitability hearing for five years.

[1068] So he doesn't seek parole for the first time until May 26, 2020, age 69.

[1069] And among the people who speak out against his release is his own daughter, Jen Carson.

[1070] And she has this to say, yeah, she's badass.

[1071] She says, quote, you don't address mass incarceration by releasing the less than 1 % of prisoners who are serial killers.

[1072] My father, yep, right?

[1073] My father, Michael Bear Carson, hunted humans, young, beautiful, innocent victims.

[1074] He's a predator who will kill again.

[1075] I oppose my father's parole.

[1076] Whoa, dude.

[1077] She fucking addresses a mass incarceration while she fucking...

[1078] Or she's like, yes, mass incarceration needs to get solved.

[1079] Right.

[1080] Yes, there are many people that need to get released from prison.

[1081] This motherfucker isn't one, and he's my fucking.

[1082] father and I loved him and keep him in jail and he's a serial killer yeah there's a big difference which is amazing so Michael Carson is denied parole via a Skype hearing due to COVID 19 on May 27th 2020 and after afterward Jen Carson makes another public statement and here's what she has to say quote I spoke out against my father's parole because I believed he would kill again if released We may never know how many people were killed by my father, Michael Bear Carson, or where they're buried.

[1083] But today there was justice for three known victims, Karen Barnes, Clark Stevens, and John Hillier, and future violence was prevented.

[1084] And at the end of that episode of couples who kill, she is also quoted as saying this.

[1085] People don't think about the relatives of a violent offender, but the child of a criminal is a criminal victim too.

[1086] And that is the awful story of the California witch killers.

[1087] Wow.

[1088] That was great.

[1089] Good job.

[1090] I mean, that's horrible.

[1091] Right.

[1092] Good job.

[1093] Thank you.

[1094] Pure insanity.

[1095] Good job.

[1096] Thank you.

[1097] We should, we definitely need some fucking hoorays, don't we?

[1098] We absolutely need it.

[1099] Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, fucking hooray.

[1100] Go, Georgia.

[1101] Wow.

[1102] Good one.

[1103] Thanks.

[1104] Thank you.

[1105] Want me to go first?

[1106] Yeah.

[1107] This is from Instagram.

[1108] Ziggy Zamboni says, my hashtag fucking hooray is that I'm finally escaping the clutches of my psychotic manager, but moreover advancing my career path.

[1109] Yes.

[1110] Yeah.

[1111] Well, this might not seem like much to some.

[1112] I struggle with taking a stand for myself.

[1113] I accepted the fact that I was not where I wanted to be and needed to risk the mental and emotional exhaustion of being uncomfortable for a bit if I was going to ultimately get where I wanted to be.

[1114] So I started making noise to some higher ups and now my exodus is in motion.

[1115] I feel a huge weight taken off my shoulders and I'm looking forward to advancing my career.

[1116] Stay sexy and remember you are your greatest advocate.

[1117] Only you can make it happen.

[1118] Yeah.

[1119] Sometimes you got to be uncomfortable a little before you're able to.

[1120] I would just like to do a very.

[1121] kindly correction to say because they said something about being like that hardly anybody else is uncomfortable in that specific way which is no everybody is everyone is they're just people are really good at faking it totally at some point in everyone's life we've been there yeah well it's weird you we're psychically linked Georgia right now because here's the one I picked to go first this is from Abe Langer A Blanger This is from the fan cult form A Blanger 94 says This is called Why You Should Always Go For It A few months ago A position at my company opened up And I hadn't really paid any attention To the job posting Because it seemed unattainable And I wasn't really even qualified On the day of the posting A woman who I consider a mentor Sent me a message Who's saying You're a fucking idiot If you don't go for this well put and then it says she didn't use any exclamation points oh so the person did a you know fucking with like an asterisk and an ampersand and all that but then she in parentheses wrote she didn't use any exclamation points because she's a badass business woman who doesn't need to soften her sentences right on and so the day and so the next day I sent in my resume for consideration after what feels like an exceptionally long process of interviews, anxiety doubt, more interviews, and some crying, I just recently found out that I got the job.

[1122] Yeah.

[1123] It's an incredible opportunity for growth, and it came with a nice pay bump, too.

[1124] All of this is to say that I shouldn't have doubted myself so much because I'm smart, funny, and I work really hard.

[1125] And how often do men doubt their abilities when they apply for a job or speak up in a meeting?

[1126] Hardly ever, it seems like.

[1127] So I'm about to pour myself a drink and toast to my awesome accomplishment.

[1128] Fucking hooray.

[1129] And here's the thing, too.

[1130] Yes, fucking hooray.

[1131] And hell yeah.

[1132] And this is why we need, especially in business.

[1133] But I mean, in real life, it's great.

[1134] But in business, you do need a mentor, a person that has a little more experience than you and that sees things big picture.

[1135] Because, of course, it's hard to know your own qualifications and believe that you're just, of course, it's me. Like, a lot of people feel that way.

[1136] So it's so great to have that leadership and the guidance from somebody that can go, oh, no, no, I know I know you can do it.

[1137] Because then you can trust that.

[1138] How would you know it's you and you've never done it before?

[1139] Yeah.

[1140] Don't trust your, don't trust your brain that's been telling you you can't your whole freaking life.

[1141] Like, right?

[1142] Find someone you respect and believe them, right?

[1143] And also by that lady who said you're a fucking idiot if you don't go for this, a big bottle of liquor because that's the.

[1144] That's the stuff of life.

[1145] That's what we all need.

[1146] Liquor?

[1147] Cheerleaders.

[1148] Chairleading and liquor.

[1149] That's awesome.

[1150] This is from Eleni Mae Times 3 on Instagram.

[1151] My fucking hooray is that despite 2020 being an overall bullshit year for the world, I got married, bought a house, and celebrated my third decade of life.

[1152] It hasn't always been roses as I'm a social worker in a pediatric hospital and a black woman in this country.

[1153] whose government seemingly devalues black lives.

[1154] Many days were spent in bed pushing aside my own grief in order to support families with theirs.

[1155] Thankfully, I had other rad women of color to debrief with and carry on.

[1156] Regardless of everything, I'm incredibly grateful and so fucking proud for all that me and my sweet husband who I turned into a murderino have achieved during such crazy times.

[1157] Beautiful.

[1158] I know, right?

[1159] What was the name on that one?

[1160] Lainy May times three.

[1161] This one says fucking hooray for my grandma getting her civic duty shit together.

[1162] This is from Mad's Hates, also from the fan cult.

[1163] My seven -year -old grandma, her name's Gloria, Q Laura Branigan.

[1164] Gloria, register to vote for the first time in 2018.

[1165] For the first time.

[1166] After the 2016 election, I was so frustrated with my family members who voted third party, didn't vote for either presidential candidate or, in grandma's case, did not vote at all.

[1167] In 2018, I made it my mission to get her registered after realizing her congressional district in our very red state was competitive.

[1168] Oh, hey, oh, Utahans.

[1169] We worked on the registration paperwork together and made sure she received her mail -in ballot.

[1170] This is something Utah actually gets right.

[1171] As for alcohol laws, don't get me started.

[1172] she mailed in her ballot and voila she voted in her first election and that candidate won his race yesterday i texted her to see if she if she had sent in her ballot yet i plan to offer to drop it off for her but she replied yep and i dropped it off in a ballot box she she mentioned this was her first time voting in a presidential election something i hadn't even considered i'm very proud of her and grateful that mail -in voting is so easy in utah so fucking hooray for grandma and fucking hooray for easy voting options.

[1173] Amazing.

[1174] That's amazing.

[1175] I can't even imagine like being 70 something and never having voted in a presidential election.

[1176] Just like.

[1177] Well, I guess I can being from it just people have been very lackadaisical about their, I I'll say it this way.

[1178] I've been very lackadaisical about my civic duties in that way, where there's certain things I say oh yeah I'll do that of course I have to I'll do that but then there's other ways like you know I just read this big thing about um jury duty that like I've always taken that as a thing to get out of or oh I have work I have the perfect excuse yeah it jury duty is a very very important um thing to participate in yeah and especially if you pay attention to stuff and you care about totally how things could go like so anyway all that stuff is like if you've been bad you can start being good like don't hold it against yourself just get in there and get out it totally oh god what a time we live in this weekend is Halloween so spooky Halloween right spooky Halloween everyone spooky Halloween have we're all going to have the spookiest Halloween of all time so take care of yourself you know stay calm try to try to you know stay strong get yourself a 32 foot mike meyers if it's if you need it right for if you have that extra 3k laying around if that's self care to you then it's self care and you can do it if you have that money you can just you could print up a picture of michael meyers and just put it in a little heart shaped locket and hold it right by your heart whatever you need Halloween style yeah to keep yourself strong that's but um We're going to get through this.

[1179] We will be together and stay sexy.

[1180] And don't get murdered.

[1181] Goodbye.

[1182] Mimi, you want a cookie?