The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz XX
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[12] Shadow show.
[13] Shadow show.
[14] Shadow show.
[15] Shadow show.
[16] Shadow show.
[17] Shadow show.
[18] Shadow show.
[19] Shadow in it.
[20] What is this text that you sent me, Mike, of Chuck Norris at what appears to be a green screen?
[21] Why are you sending me?
[22] How old is Chuck Norris now?
[23] Is he in his 80s?
[24] He's in his 80s, no doubt.
[25] There is a new Hulu movie that is out with Chuck Norris starring in it, and there are a bunch of theories about this movie, and people are concerned about Chuck Norris, although I follow Chuck Norris on IG, and I saw him lifting fake weights to prove that he was, you know, super healthy to dispel some of this.
[26] Fake weights, how do you know they were fake?
[27] Because there's no way.
[28] There's just no way.
[29] He was curling 350 pounds.
[30] There's just no plausible way.
[31] He's in impeccable shape.
[32] But, well, apparently not in great enough shape to actually, like, sit in for group shots, because whenever they do group shots in this film, it's very clearly a dummy in place of the actual Chuck Norris.
[33] No, no, wait a minute.
[34] Yes, he's body -doubled by a dummy, like a mannequin.
[35] Like an idiot?
[36] No, like a mannequin.
[37] That's real.
[38] That's real.
[39] I heard through the soundproof glass, I heard Chris, discreet.
[40] covering it on his computer, that Chuck Norris is just going to be green screened into a movie.
[41] Before we go too far down this path, I had some remorse how it is that we talked about some of the choices that Bruce Willis was either choosing at the end or was being pushed into at the end, where he was making at the end of his career, when his health was failing, he was making really bad movie choices because he was just being thrust in front of camera.
[42] Is that what you're saying is happening here with Chuck Norris?
[43] No, I'm sure this movie kicks ass, and I'm going to watch it because, you know, Chuck Norris.
[44] But he's just clearly older.
[45] He's an older gentleman, and, you know, he has his limitations.
[46] And Bruce Willis was at a stature that, yeah, that diminishes the overall resume.
[47] Chuck Norris never got to that level.
[48] So this is totally fair.
[49] Delta Force?
[50] I know Delta Force.
[51] Delta Force 2?
[52] You can't say that.
[53] Chuck Norris ever got to Bruce Willis' level of movie start -up.
[54] So sidekicks is my favorite Chuck Norris movie because all the other Chuck Norris movies are in play.
[55] It's kind of like a self -aware parody of Chuck Norris films with Chuck Norris in it.
[56] But Walker, Texas Ranger, top of the heap.
[57] Come on, man. That's syndicated.
[58] These are fake weights, though.
[59] No, they're not.
[60] The picture, yes.
[61] Well, they are, they are weight.
[62] To you they are, Dan.
[63] They are.
[64] This is what they are.
[65] Those are the weights.
[66] You know how at the gym sometimes you can put four or five calories.
[67] on the bench press.
[68] But they're not 45 -pounders.
[69] They're those fake 45 -pounders that look like 45 -pounders.
[70] They're like 20 pounds.
[71] Those are the weights Chuck Norris is using.
[72] Just realized I set up a video for the portion of the show that's not on video.
[73] You did do that.
[74] That's some expert work by you.
[75] I also need to point out to the audience.
[76] Chuck Norris is older than Biden.
[77] This is the Dan Levatore show with the Stucats podcast.
[78] Today's episode is sponsored by Draft Kings.
[79] Stay tuned because you'll hear more about Draft Kings and all it has to offer throughout the show.
[80] Draft Kings, the crown is yours.
[81] Tony, Mike, you guys are the only ones here who work at Metal Arc who come in by train, right?
[82] I know the Codies did it for a while.
[83] They tried to do it, but then they quit because they jacked up the price and the Codies are coming from far away.
[84] They basically lasted three or four trips the Codys did.
[85] Tony, you come in every month.
[86] morning by train?
[87] Every single morning since we started here at the Elser, I come in by Metro Rail every single day.
[88] Occasionally, I run into Tony on the train, and that's always fun.
[89] Oh, nice.
[90] And how do you feel about our city?
[91] Because it's viewed as being very bad when it comes to public transit, being very inefficient.
[92] It's obviously sprawling.
[93] You guys live in a part of Miami where a lot of workers live.
[94] Is the train filled with people coming into downtown?
[95] A ton.
[96] Like, there's people coming into Brickle coming into downtown.
[97] There's people going to Jackson.
[98] There's a lot of nurses that take the Metro Rail for Jackson.
[99] So for us, I think me and Mike are bad when it comes to, hey, it takes us exactly where we need to go.
[100] We live maybe 10, 15 minutes away from the station, so it doesn't really take us that much to get there.
[101] Like, we're part of the class of like, yeah, metro rail, it rocks.
[102] I love the Metro Rail.
[103] Do you ever get insecure?
[104] Because when you're riding the trains in the morning and as I experience, it's a lot of business people.
[105] And around here, we dress casual.
[106] So I'm often on the train with my backpack.
[107] and I'm like feeling like I'm not getting respect from other people and I in my mind I'm like I have a really cool job You don't know where I'm going right now like I just always get this feeling insecurity of people everyone's like look at this loser What's he doing on a train?
[108] I'm glad you open that up because I had an idea Dan and you as the kingpin of this company Okay the guy that makes things happen right?
[109] I want to pitch something to you I request things 19 times and everyone ignores me Yeah, but if you snap your fingers things happen Well, yeah, my fingers get snapped.
[110] I want to propose something, and I think I have buying from Amin, and I want to see what you guys think.
[111] I want to put up together a Metal Arc Media uniform.
[112] Okay.
[113] Well, I get more respect on the train.
[114] So here's the thing.
[115] As I do, Chris, I'm in shorts and an LSU t -shirt.
[116] I walk in with a backpack.
[117] They're like, who is this guy doing the ninth year of college?
[118] Exactly, exactly.
[119] Tony's look today is different than the normal Tony look.
[120] Tony goes for style here and here where he's arrived because this outfit of wearing that sweatshirt it's the middle of summer it's 174 boiling degrees yeah but it's also a huge game it's a massive game for the lsu tigers today going against number one alabama in our dynasty league we have a massive game the boards are absolutely ready purple yellow with the mustache and with the Cuban is a specific kind of vibe yeah this guy goes into hiale every day and he unloads trucks and the produce comes out of the trucks from the back, and that's the job that you have.
[121] And I take the Metro Rail from Dayland all the way up to Alapad, and I do it there.
[122] Yes, that's what I look like.
[123] So with that downcasting of others on me, I see a lot of people because we work in a city where there's a lot of hospitals, a lot of things.
[124] I see a lot of nurses and doctors and scrubs with the white coats.
[125] They're like rifling through papers.
[126] They're reading things.
[127] They've got masks on still, and I'm like, okay, they must know something.
[128] So I see them, and then I look at me, I look at Mike, at Chris.
[129] Like people that would be dressed like us.
[130] I got like a phone to my ear listening to a mad dog clip.
[131] I'm like, yeah, this is good.
[132] I'm like, you know what?
[133] We don't get the respect we deserve for a job that should be respected.
[134] The media should be respected in this country.
[135] That's another tangent.
[136] I'll let you go on that one, Dan.
[137] But the point is, if we come in with a Metal Arc Media uniform, think of like a mechanic, right, where they have the full -length jumpsuit.
[138] I would like that.
[139] And then we had the name on the side and it says Metalark Media and cursive and then a patch with our name on it.
[140] And then that way we can zip zip it up.
[141] And then it's like, ooh, this guy does something.
[142] I don't know what he does.
[143] I don't know what Metal Arc Media is, but I'm going to find out.
[144] Think about it.
[145] Firefighters, police officers, military personnel.
[146] Respect.
[147] We respect them.
[148] Why?
[149] Because of the uniform, right?
[150] We're walking around here like casual Friday every day.
[151] If we had a uniform, people would be like, whoa, that place must be cool.
[152] It's like the Ghostbusters.
[153] What made them cool?
[154] Was it the proton packs?
[155] No. It was a jumpsuit with the name Vankman on it.
[156] Well, what made them cool is that they could eliminate ghosts.
[157] Well.
[158] I think I'm on this uniform idea Just because of the decision fatigue I make more decisions than David Blatt on a daily basis And as you know, David Blatt makes more decisions than a fighter pilot Oh, fighter pilot uniform That's another one Dude, we could be like Maverick Oh, Iceman Nicknames instead of our ice own names?
[159] Exactly I was thinking more, I like the idea And especially because I don't know if you were judged on the way in today But I don't think I for sure was.
[160] I don't think that you were, you've ever dressed in a way around here more worthy of judgment than how you're presently dressed today.
[161] Now, Dan, I do have an amendment to Tony's idea, even though Tony, this might take away from your respect level on the train.
[162] But I know what everyone's thinking.
[163] It's like, oh, we've got to go, got to put on this stuff, whatever at home.
[164] No, I don't want to get it dirty on the train or on the way over, spill some coffee.
[165] This is what we do.
[166] When we come in, right where Frankie's desk is, we have some lockers.
[167] And so when you walk in, you clock in and you put.
[168] on the jumpsuit and then you come in and do the show and if you're running a little late sometimes you've got to like zip it up while you're coming into the studio like yeah but now you got to install a fire pole well you you guys have it feeling a bit like overalls and I was thinking more old -timey I was thinking Hess Service Station in the 1950s when guys would run out and they'd fill your car with gas and give you a good old -fashioned windshield wiper wipe You change your oil.
[169] Amin and Chris, Hess is a good example of what we were talking about before the show.
[170] What are products that used to put out banger commercials that still exist are still making their money, but the banger commercials all of a sudden left.
[171] Hess, every holiday season, the Hess pickup truck, the 16 -wheeler truck was a big deal.
[172] Mentos, snap a lady.
[173] Dan, you know Mentos, the fresh maker, right?
[174] You've popped them.
[175] Your life has changed.
[176] Why is your life changed when you pop a Mentos?
[177] because of those ads they ran in the 90s and early 2000s.
[178] Oh, no, I just got paint on the back of my suit.
[179] I better do the rest of it.
[180] Don't worry about it.
[181] Just roll around and now it's pinstripes.
[182] And you're fond for your big interview.
[183] They spent billions on marketing in the 90s and early 2000s.
[184] And then one day, I don't know if there was a new CEO or CMO or something.
[185] It said, enough with the marketing.
[186] And we don't see any Mentos commercials anymore, but I go to the supermarket.
[187] They're right there in the on, next to the Kit Katz and the Reese's peanut buttercups.
[188] I've always wondered about how effective advertising is because I've never thought that it should be worth what it is that's paid for it.
[189] And I've always been wrong about it.
[190] Because companies prove again and again that it is something that can absolutely make you.
[191] And what Amin is saying right now about Mentos I had not considered before now.
[192] I haven't seen a Mentos ad in a long time, but I feel like Mentos only got in the candy game because of those ads.
[193] You know what has changed with Mentos, though, where they have not done commercials, they've paid people, I feel like, to do YouTube videos, to put Mentos inside of Diet Coke, to do the rocket shot.
[194] That's how they're doing their marketing now.
[195] Like, if you put Mentos inside a Diet Coke, it's going to explode.
[196] And people are like, all right, I'm in.
[197] Now, Tony, the problem I have with that theory is that that also is very old.
[198] That's like from 2005, 2006.
[199] Mentos as an explosive.
[200] Yeah, like that's not new.
[201] I haven't seen any new ones of those videos.
[202] I see all the old ones.
[203] The next generation is always curious because they've heard the tale of if you put a Mentos inside of a Coca -Cola, it's going to explode.
[204] And you're like, all right, I got to get Mentos.
[205] I don't know where I get them, but I got to get them.
[206] Can you guys get me anything in the way of answers on what happened at Mentos that made them shut down their advertising unit in a way that has made Mentos something I see in every place I go.
[207] Anytime I go into a gas station, Mentos are available to me. And yet I haven't seen them advertised since commercials where the people looked jaundiced because it's so old that I can't tell whether it's the skin or the film color that makes them so yellow.
[208] I had a car phone.
[209] I forgot about that particular Mento set that we just ran for the YouTube audience where there's like a traffic jam and the guy's trying to cross the street.
[210] And rather than just walk around the car, he says, I have an idea of Pops of Mentos and then climbs through the backseat of one of these.
[211] cars and then back out the other end and then shows the driver Mentos, the fresh maker.
[212] Yeah, I forgot the thread where Mentos made you smarter.
[213] Yeah, but does it?
[214] Like, none of these ideas actually seem smart rolling around in paint, climbing through a car rather than walking around.
[215] But also, I love how the driver of the car who's like, what the hell's going on?
[216] When he sees the Mentos, he's like, oh, okay.
[217] I just realized, though, we all are watching way less commercials.
[218] They could just still exist and we're just skipping them.
[219] No way.
[220] We're watching.
[221] you seeing commercials nowadays?
[222] Every time I'm watching a game, a million commercials.
[223] Every time I'm watching Hulu, a million commercials.
[224] You don't pay for the Hulu?
[225] No, I'm I'm gladfather then.
[226] This is one of the reasons.
[227] It's crazy to me that these streaming services have gotten so much money, more money for sports, but it's because sports is the only thing like that.
[228] Sports is the only thing that you're sitting through commercials on anymore because we've made it too addictive to the convenience of I don't have to deal with commercials.
[229] And the whole thing, exist for commercials.
[230] Like, the whole thing was built atop.
[231] We need to sell you Marlboros in the 1950s.
[232] You know what really bothers me as a motorsports fan?
[233] Like, NASCAR essentially is a commercial.
[234] There's commercials on the cars.
[235] Why are we going to commercial during the sport?
[236] I don't get that.
[237] You're going to a commercial break and you're showing me the trailer for Reagan, but the 54 car has a Reagan paint scheme.
[238] Have you seen that, by the way?
[239] Badger paint scheme.
[240] Dr. Reagan?
[241] No, no, no, not Dr. Regan.
[242] Oh.
[243] No, the Reagan movie with Dennis Quaid, who prior to this wasn't the ultra -conservative Quaid, but now he is.
[244] I want to, just for a second, marvel at the fact that not only was that Mentos ad featuring a car phone in what appears to be, that seems earlier than the 90s.
[245] That seems like an 80s commercial.
[246] That's a 90s commercial.
[247] But that the car phone also isn't just a car phone, but it's got the car phone.
[248] the curly cue rap that used to go into landlines that I legitimately haven't seen one of those in 20 years.
[249] I used to an Auela's house, but then she died and that left my life for good.
[250] Apparently, these Mentos commercials were not only one of the most controversial things going on in pop culture as people were really polarized on whether they liked them or hated them, but they were such known commercials that in 1991, Mento sold $20 million.
[251] worth of hard candies.
[252] By 96, they were selling $120 million worth of hard candies.
[253] Tell me the marketing didn't work.
[254] But why did they quit the marketing?
[255] Why?
[256] Did they no longer need the marketing that I haven't seen?
[257] When's the last time any of you saw Mentos commercial?
[258] Last time I saw one, it's been a long time.
[259] But I did Google it.
[260] And there was one earlier this year where there's like a kid in high school.
[261] He takes out his Mentos thing.
[262] He pops one.
[263] He stands up and he blows cold breath so far that it blows him.
[264] Oh, yeah.
[265] It is a wall into the gymnasium.
[266] That was Mentos?
[267] I thought it is a freshman.
[268] Well, I thought that was Orbits or something.
[269] See, that's how bad the marketing is.
[270] Like, they did this ad, and I didn't even know it was them because it wasn't branded strong enough as Mentos.
[271] Was that Chuck Norris that just went through that hoop?
[272] I wanted to ask you guys something.
[273] I had a career, what really felt to me like a career highlight.
[274] I thought that I was on the back nine of wherever it is that my career would take me. I didn't think I would arrive in an unprecedented place where I got genuine delight from what I believe to be a career achievement, which is that Stephen A. Smith publicly accused me of being in cahoots with two of the dolphins and the NFL.
[275] And I'd never before been accused of being in cahoots before.
[276] I saw it in headlines, lebitard in cahoots.
[277] And I don't know what it means, but I do know what it means.
[278] Like, I don't know where it started.
[279] I'd like to get more information on what it means, where it began.
[280] The first person to use the phrase, someone was in cahoots with someone else.
[281] But I also am delighting in this and finding this to be a career achievement because I have no earthly idea what he's actually accusing me up.
[282] Well, it's pretty clear.
[283] He's accusing you of being in cahoots with the NFL and the Dolphins and Tua.
[284] To do what?
[285] He's saying because of the lawsuit going on with Flores.
[286] that the league is saying to itself, hey, this florist thing went away.
[287] We need some bad pub for him.
[288] So people are reminded about this lawsuit and everything he did.
[289] Let's get levittarred on the case.
[290] He'll go down.
[291] He'll talk to two.
[292] Two will say the stuff.
[293] To cahoot with me. Let's cahoot.
[294] That's what the email headline was.
[295] Yes, cahoots.
[296] Let us cahoots.
[297] Okay, so just in, in theory, how would the cahoot mastermind plan begin?
[298] Is it, am I calling someone and saying, hey, do you want to be in cahoots?
[299] Or are they calling me?
[300] Every bit of that video was orchestrated.
[301] From the rolled up paper in your hand to Chris Cody's terrible outfit.
[302] Have you ever seen the movie Wag the Dog, Dan?
[303] Yes.
[304] It's a little bit like that.
[305] Like, we're going to put this thing together.
[306] We're going to produce this thing that is going to shine a positive light on the NFL, on the Miami Dolphins, on Tua.
[307] It's a positive light on the...
[308] Oh, yes.
[309] And a negative light on the dastardly, Brian Flores.
[310] Okay.
[311] I've got to be honest.
[312] I haven't heard the entirety of this two -way interview.
[313] I had a lot.
[314] I've just experienced it really on social media clips.
[315] And every time I see Chris Cody, I'm dying, laughing.
[316] He's a man -child.
[317] Mike, the reason that Mike and Tony are laughing right now is because on the screen, what was put on the screen is just Chris Cody playing with the draw strings on his shorts.
[318] Which we all do when we're laughing.
[319] nervous in the middle of the two interview but also what he's laughing at um is just the general shame of chris cody who is now a a redder shade of red than even his very pink calves freckled calves were in the middle of that interview hundred degrees outside gigantic mistake to not wear a spinner hat you would have just completed the entire ensemble or the uniform uniform would have helped there oh it would have helped if he looks like a fighter pilot next to to her, you're like, whoa, who is that guy?
[320] A, I want you to help me with the uniforms, because again, I'm thinking Hess Serviceman, you're thinking fighter pilot.
[321] We have a different visual for what it is that that should be.
[322] But, Mike, I'm not kidding you, that last night, and again, this is me snapping my fingers and nothing happening.
[323] I insisted to an assortment of people, get me a 22 -minute Chris Cam of just on him during the interview and nothing else.
[324] I'd watch the hell of that.
[325] Put out that video immediately.
[326] This is what I said, and I snap my fingers, and they snap.
[327] And they snap.
[328] happened, then nothing happened.
[329] I said, get out into the stream right now, just what Chris Cody was doing and just one Chris Cam.
[330] That's what I asked for because it is high comedy.
[331] It is to see Chris Cody squirming around in his skin.
[332] Again, this is a human being, an executive that the night before I texted, please come presentable tomorrow.
[333] Those are nice shorts.
[334] They're Viori.
[335] I'm an adult running a company.
[336] You're an adult.
[337] You have a child, and today you said you would have been a good first husband.
[338] I'd be a great first husband.
[339] Oh, he'd be so good at it.
[340] I actually agree.
[341] I'm great at my wife's holiday party.
[342] No one builds up their spouse better than me. A lot of energy.
[343] I'm shaking hands with everyone, saying hello.
[344] I say good to see everyone, because I don't know if I've met you before.
[345] Good to see you.
[346] I'm telling you, nobody's better.
[347] I bring energy.
[348] I build my wife up when they're not around.
[349] I'm like, oh, you should have seen her the other day.
[350] she just with the way she handles my daughter and work all this how does she juggle it all oh man the best he's a magician he's the best hype man in the studio folks and you're in shorts and he's so busy hyping up his wife that i've got to text him hey can you wear clothes tomorrow that's not going to embarrass the company and that's what he chose all right olive green oh what that's the lash back lashing out it's a weak rebuttal all right olive green Do you know how ridiculous I felt sending a text to Chris Cody?
[351] It's also closer to tope.
[352] And Stugat.
[353] Stugat, please shave.
[354] Just please shake.
[355] Don't come in smelling like cigarettes and desperation.
[356] I'm pretty sure Jalen Phillips commented on how well I smelled.
[357] I don't know, but I'm just going to use that image of you with two and put it as my Twitter banner now.
[358] my favorite visual what is he looking at I can't Chris what are you looking at I'm looking at the camera saying me in the middle really don't make eye contact with the camera it's like the only thing you're not supposed to do the hands clasped together yeah you're so uncomfortable with your own hands you guys are laughing at all of the correct things to laugh at, but what I'm telling you is that I left that place, okay, with a giant smile on my face, and it wasn't for any of the reasons you guys are citing.
[359] It's because they're getting the questions from me, and then because they feel the hot breath on their neck, they're turning around, and so the visual I have is Chris more uncomfortably in their face with his breath than any interviewer has ever been.
[360] But they have to acknowledge that he's there, but he's not saying that much.
[361] So four or five minutes will go by.
[362] And it's just Chris's teeth too close to Jalen Phillips's face.
[363] A Rahim Moster is like trying to blow his hot breath away because Chris shouldn't be that close to them.
[364] I've always been an end guy on a couch.
[365] I just always have been.
[366] Ridiculous.
[367] I can't believe the shorts, man. I can.
[368] The Ori!
[369] But if you were going to go shorts, You'd think you'd go collared shirt.
[370] No. No, not at all.
[371] T -shirt, hat, shorts.
[372] The clothes is not the problem here.
[373] It's my awkwardness.
[374] Okay?
[375] The clothes are not hoping.
[376] With the string, it's the arms folded, it's the looking around.
[377] You honestly should have taken a Mentos before you got dressed.
[378] Maybe rolled around on a park bench, got some stripes on that.
[379] To be clear, in the strategic meeting where I'm going full cahoot, Chris, you're in the middle, you're wearing shorts, you're wearing drawstrings, we're going to do some work on behalf of who are we doing it for, Gadell, the Dolphins, Ross, like who?
[380] The man, yeah, all the above.
[381] All of them.
[382] That's who dance in cahoots with.
[383] Roger Gendell.
[384] Just text, Dan, hey, need a favor.
[385] Noted NFL ally, Dan Labattard.
[386] Well, Mike, I don't know if you know this, but I have revealed to the show yesterday that I am, in fact, a mole working for the NFL.
[387] and infiltrating metal arc media and just kind of sprinkling a little bit of NFL goodness.
[388] Remember a couple years ago you guys are very anti -N -FEL All of a sudden now, Thursday Thunder and all the other types of segments, Tony Stop 5, Godbuss football.
[389] We've kind of just brushed over the hole.
[390] We can't watch this.
[391] This is people being destroyed right in front of our eyes to, hey, who's going to win on Sunday?
[392] And you know why?
[393] Because the mole went in here tonight.
[394] I'm a little bit like a fixer, you know?
[395] Okay, but I still don't understand.
[396] I really don't.
[397] What the accusation is.
[398] Like if we were to ask Stephen A. Smith, an assortment of questions now that really drilled it down on what are you saying that I did?
[399] The answer to that.
[400] No, no, but okay, but how?
[401] Like, what did that look like?
[402] That looks like that.
[403] Well, you got together with him in a cabin because that's where the origins of cahoots.
[404] That's the cahoots right there.
[405] That's cahooting.
[406] You guys got to stop throwing up images of Chris because it's going to make me bring me. break every time and people listen to this podcast and I literally can't keep a straight face.
[407] It brings me so much joy.
[408] This is the worst day.
[409] Please take this one off.
[410] Oh, you've got to tug the shirt pal.
[411] Oh, God.
[412] This shot right here is called Hello Darkness, my old friend.
[413] Right?
[414] This is Chris staring off into the distance.
[415] Somewhere on the floor there re -evaluating his life.
[416] What's, where did I go wrong?
[417] I probably started when I sat in the middle.
[418] Tony, why are you pointing at Chris?
[419] Chris needs to say what you just told us.
[420] She would keep coming up to me in between interviews and just pulling like the shirt.
[421] out and I was like, what's she doing?
[422] And now I see exactly what she was doing.
[423] She was being a saint because she was the only one looking out for me. She was pulling it from underneath, like, the breast area and the stomach area.
[424] Everyone else was like, look how terrible he looks.
[425] This is fantastic.
[426] While Jesse's like, Chris, can you want to pull this thing out a little bit.
[427] In my meager defense, as someone who does care about you, I will tell you I notice nothing happening below your shoulders because of the grinning delight I had at how close your teeth were to the face.
[428] of these athletes who did not want that hot breath on the side of their face.
[429] Like you were so close to them, Chris.
[430] And when you would ask your question, I want you to, I want the audience to imagine sitting next to someone on a couch, okay?
[431] You're just sitting right next to them.
[432] They are adjacent enough.
[433] Their shorts are touching your shorts.
[434] You now need to make eye contact in the name of television in a way you would not to if you were just having a casual conversation.
[435] so you turn to each other and you're just breaths from kissing you're too close to each other just way closer than what is comfortable like you're in a position there where it is legitimately intimate to be that close to a person on a couch making eye contact like that it's my wife and no one else I vibed with everyone there was not a single player that was uncomfortable did I stumble there did I misspeed guys did I stumble or oh they like to they did like you I would say that you were the softener that opened up to the most honest to what any of us have ever heard publicly.
[436] He is this privately.
[437] People know that about him at camp, but publicly he does not do what he did.
[438] And I'm going to give you the credit.
[439] Thank you.
[440] As part of all our cahooting efforts, the secret weapon that Stephen A. Smith had not accounted for was old drawstrings, pulling all the drawstrings.
[441] It smells like football.
[442] It smells like football.
[443] I forgot what they smelled like.
[444] like, but now we're back.
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[472] Don Lebertard.
[473] I mean, they used to call me Chris Karaokey.
[474] Stugats.
[475] That back row is bringing it today.
[476] This is the Dan Lebatar show with the Stugats.
[477] I want to make some executive choices here with the group because a video came in here because I snapped my fingers and finally somebody read a text that was sent late last night.
[478] And they offered me two different options that we can go full screen right now with just.
[479] just Chris Cody throughout the Tua interview, just so that you can observe his discomfort throughout, or we can go picture and picture.
[480] And I do not want to alienate the audio audience, but I am urging the audio audience to watch some of this on YouTube.
[481] It has to be full screen, Dan.
[482] Okay, so you're saying we should knock out for the next 20 minutes.
[483] We should be picture and picture, and we should just let a giant Chris Cody lord over us.
[484] Wow.
[485] Well, no, but it's easy.
[486] The camera's very close to him.
[487] No, but he looks bigger than the quarterback of the dolphins.
[488] Like, what do you?
[489] That's perspective.
[490] Okay, but again, it's the camera angle.
[491] He, Tua has lost a good, a good amount of weight, but Chris Cody looks like he's Lord, Chris Coddy is making it look like that Tua is the Billy Gill in the Billy Gill Super Bowl photo that we have of Billy Gill sitting next to Derek Henry and looking like.
[492] like someone very small.
[493] Dan, to be very clear, Chris, I am not fat shaming.
[494] Your body is the least funny thing to me. It's a temple.
[495] It's your face.
[496] Your facial expressions.
[497] Very awkward.
[498] You're looking around.
[499] You're breaking the fourth wall, looking at the camera, looking down, looking around.
[500] I assume when two is talking that I can do what I want because they're on him.
[501] So it's like I can look over at Danny.
[502] We can have an eye contact thing.
[503] Like, I'm not good at this.
[504] Chris, I'm telling you, okay.
[505] I mean, I need your help and I need to get the attention.
[506] of the group, I'm telling you, we got five other interviews where Chris Cody is sitting there and we've just now scratched the surface on what this looked like to me as I sat across from it because Chris was also having trouble speaking on occasion because of the general discomfort of what he was sitting right in the middle of a place where he was physically uncomfortable and I could watch him crawling around in his own skin saying my shorts are nice That's right, Dan?
[507] Fioree.
[508] He just adjusted them right now, kind of tugged them out.
[509] They were riding up a little bit.
[510] Look, look.
[511] There you go.
[512] Oh, nice little interaction there with Tua.
[513] Yeah?
[514] Yeah, you're laughing a little too hard at your own joke, though.
[515] Kind of resting my elbows on my belly.
[516] God damn it.
[517] Mike warns me about that.
[518] Nice clap.
[519] Touch Tugats.
[520] Tugats is trying to be a good teammate laughing too much with a fake Stugat's laugh.
[521] I don't even have to hear it.
[522] I can just see it on his face.
[523] And now, demur again.
[524] What should I do with my hands in this spot?
[525] Like, I'm awkwardly with that.
[526] folded in my lap should I have gone around to a yes yeah number one point there was a voice in your head that said play with your drawstrings that's what you should do caressing my knee now out of uncomfortableness with your drawstrings that's it's totally chill vibe dude you're killing it a lot of lip bites a lot of lip bites that you're doing your body that's to look thinner yeah your face never looks thinner when you're biting your lip so now put him in a hess uniform or jumpsuit what is the uniform of Metal Arc Media going to be?
[527] Because I can get behind this idea.
[528] Maybe we have different ones.
[529] Like maybe C -suite has their own, right?
[530] And then the next tier -down has its own.
[531] And the next tier -down has its own.
[532] Like Star Trek.
[533] Chris, how would you have felt?
[534] Wouldn't you have been more comfortable in a uniform?
[535] I think at this point I would have been more comfortable, nude.
[536] No. I think, for whatever reason, the outfit is less flattering to your body than if you were nude.
[537] Dude, Tua's talking to you and you're just staring up into the sky.
[538] I don't.
[539] I don't know what's going on there.
[540] Chris, I would like to get to the place.
[541] I mean, I love, you know, all the between two fern stuff and Jiminy Glick.
[542] I would love to get to a place where I could sit you down nude in there without telling Jalen Phillips that we're going to spend 12 minutes just talking about how beautiful he is.
[543] Naked Chris, we've, you know, been there, done that.
[544] I think I should have been behind the couch just emerging whenever I had a question.
[545] That would have been the best.
[546] That I could hide my torso.
[547] That would have been funny.
[548] If your head had popped out at various points and that, next year, okay?
[549] Remind me next year we're going to do that where you pop out every once in a while behind people with questions.
[550] In this couch scene that we're looking at on YouTube right now, it looks like Chris is in the middle of a parent teacher conference and like Tua and Stu are his parents and the teacher's just ripping into Chris and he's just like, you know, come on, sorry.
[551] He didn't do his homework, he's talking in class, he's a constant disruption.
[552] I have to send him to detention all the time.
[553] you were worried most about what angle on belly like going in the middle i just knew it was a losing spot right from the go i was like this is what do i do with my arms stu got's in the corner didn't help you either because he crosses his leg and then puts his left arm around you which gives you absolutely no room and allows him to block his own belly so as you're looking from that camera angle the only belly that can be seen is yours and then these incredibly ripped football players next to you further away.
[554] The perspective is just awful for you.
[555] Chris, I'm telling you, it's not your belly.
[556] Everyone's trying to make it about your belly.
[557] Absolutely not.
[558] It's about your face.
[559] The man boobs?
[560] It's about you.
[561] It's your face.
[562] Your face and your hands.
[563] And nipple is perky.
[564] Well, it's two is right next to them.
[565] What were you most worried about on the way in?
[566] Because you requested this assignment.
[567] This is something that you wanted to do.
[568] I thought I could add to it.
[569] And I did.
[570] Look, look what we're doing right now.
[571] Another lip bite.
[572] You did.
[573] I just, I didn't leave there.
[574] honestly left there saying, we did some good content, I hope I don't look as fat as I feel.
[575] And I do.
[576] He's nodding.
[577] He's like, yes, I do.
[578] But did you also do any of the math in your head?
[579] Wait a minute.
[580] This has the potential to be one of those things that goes out there and now it's not going to be a little local joke anymore.
[581] I did not think I was going to go viral.
[582] I didn't think I did anything like that.
[583] It's just like I'm like this level of fat where sometimes I look at myself and I'm like, oh, you look good.
[584] And sometimes I look at myself and I look like this.
[585] So it's like, I just was like, I hope this is one those times where I look and it isn't.
[586] Chris, I'm feeling bad.
[587] I'm not laughing at your body.
[588] I'm laughing at the outfit choice and also just your general being.
[589] No, no, I'm awkward.
[590] You look so awkward.
[591] That part is genuinely funny to me, how awkward I look.
[592] Just like zooming in on my face when he's talking and I'm just like nodding along.
[593] Yes, I agree.
[594] Awkward.
[595] Were there any rejected outfits?
[596] Like when you get that text from me in the middle of the night and I'm like, and I'm saying to you, please.
[597] I thought this was a safe outfit.
[598] It's like a shirt with nothing on it.
[599] He's asking you, he's asking you know the other ones that we're like.
[600] How do you receive the text from me the night before to you and Stugant?
[601] Can you guys be presentable tomorrow, please?
[602] It was either this or a Mike McDaniel shirt, like that cool shirt where he looks cool.
[603] So I was like, all right, Dan said be professional.
[604] So I'm going to go with the neutral shirt.
[605] Presentable.
[606] I didn't even ask for professional.
[607] I asked for not unhoused.
[608] This is presentable.
[609] It might not be a good look, but this is not an embarrassing look.
[610] You just call him an unhoused gentleman.
[611] I did.
[612] I didn't want to go hobo there and I didn't want to go homeless.
[613] So I went unhoused.
[614] Yes, presentable is all I was asking.
[615] Can we move on?
[616] Yeah, we should.
[617] But just leave that image on the screen.
[618] Please keep the video up.
[619] Yeah.
[620] I promise not to react to it.
[621] We can move on if I get answers to three of my questions.
[622] The squint and stare over to the sky.
[623] Three of my questions.
[624] And then I will move on.
[625] one what does the uniform look like two give me specifics on what it is that I'm being accused of if we were to interrogate Stephen A. Smith and ask him to tell me what it looks like that we did what kind of strategic things were done I want an answer to both of those things I think we've explained both of those things uniform and also the NFL strategized with two his camp in you to make Brian Flores look bad because they're presently embroiled in a lawsuit.
[626] Now, the question is, what uniform would you like to wear it in?
[627] Okay.
[628] That's where we can start.
[629] Well, I don't want to start there because it's the in -cahood's part.
[630] To be clear, then, I am working against the black man in power.
[631] I'm working with the white man and the league.
[632] And the beige man. And the whatever tool is, man. He's Samoa.
[633] No, but what color is that?
[634] I think the NFL's using you here, Dan.
[635] You're not, I don't see Dan as a big part of this.
[636] Dan's just like, we need Flores to get ripped.
[637] Two is in Miami.
[638] Who's in my, okay, Levitar.
[639] Like, you just kind of were a perfect fit for what they needed.
[640] You're the pawn.
[641] Yeah, who's a pawn that has carried our water consistently?
[642] Dan Levitart.
[643] Who will play ball?
[644] Who will play ball?
[645] Who's an asset that can be turned?
[646] I said, I got one.
[647] Yeah.
[648] I send me to Miami.
[649] What's Alzegari doing right now?
[650] I don't know if he has a platform.
[651] Yeah, we need reach.
[652] Oh, what's Levertoard up to these days?
[653] YouTube, a D .K .N. That's perfect.
[654] That'll do.
[655] Woke ESPN is accusing me of trying to bury the black man. That's right.
[656] Brian Flores.
[657] No, no. We've ended up on opposite sides of the spectrum all of a sudden.
[658] Yeah, you're just, you're innocent and aloof, kind of like Chris in these clips.
[659] You don't know that you're being used.
[660] You're just happy for the access.
[661] Reality just which sides, Dan, Dan, oh.
[662] The third answer to the question that I want, is I want a genuine, honest response to you receive the text from me. That is, you've never received a text from me. I had three outfits laid out on a bed.
[663] I had three outfits laid out on a bed.
[664] I get that text.
[665] I go, that's the one right there.
[666] Maroon and Viori.
[667] Outfit one was what you went with.
[668] Output two was Mike McDaniel cool shirt.
[669] What was outfit three?
[670] I think the third one was just like, I forget, like some white shirt or something.
[671] And it was shorts all the way across.
[672] I had a pair of joggers, too.
[673] I was going to go joggers.
[674] I should have gone joggers in hindsight.
[675] But I know they're saying that it was sure we were going to be inside, but I had seen slack things that had led it to believe that we weren't sure exactly, and I don't want to be outside in long pants.
[676] Did the joggers have draws friends?
[677] Plus, I knew we were interviewing Jalen Phillips, and I knew he was going to rock those skin tight practice pants, and I wanted to do a short short thing with him.
[678] So that was part of, it was content related why I went with shorts.
[679] But in hindsight, like college, he's not wearing a college shirt.
[680] Yeah, no, he is, though.
[681] He's got an overshirt over his other shirt that has a collar on it.
[682] Who is he?
[683] Are you talking about?
[684] I meant two.
[685] I meant two.
[686] In camp.
[687] You know how Tua's aesthetic.
[688] Yeah, me and a collared shirt, that's what we need.
[689] I think it is.
[690] I just think that your face, if you had just...
[691] Had a better face, yeah.
[692] The collar would also help the face.
[693] Would it help him look engaged?
[694] Because look at him right now.
[695] He's just...
[696] Look at my eyes.
[697] He's saying something.
[698] This happened a few times.
[699] where I'm like, oh, shit, Tua is saying something right now.
[700] Look at the hard cam.
[701] Look at the hard cam afterwards.
[702] Still playing with the dead skin on your fingers.
[703] Oh, Tua's crushing this right now.
[704] They're for sure just locked in on him.
[705] I can look around like, holy shit.
[706] This is awesome.
[707] Put it on the poll, please, Juja, at Levitart Show.
[708] Does the collared shirt give you credibility?
[709] I am urging, again, audio audience.
[710] I know that over the last three years, we have tested you some on familiarity, comfort, and intimacy as we've tried to become also a video product.
[711] And I'm not trying to exclude you.
[712] But the amount of laughter in this room is absolutely present because we're all just watching Chris Cody's unspoken discomfort on the screen and every second is funnier than the last.
[713] Dan, we strive, as always, to include the audio audience to kind of give verbal descriptions and stuff.
[714] I'm telling the audio audience right now, look, I'm not asking you to change how you consume the show on a day -to -day basis.
[715] I'm saying today, to pull up the YouTube.
[716] You need to pull up the video and take a look at this because it's hilarious and our words could never do it justice.
[717] What's that movie when they said, oh, they should have sent the poet.
[718] A poet could not capture what this is.
[719] Well, we'll be happy, I mean, on your point, you'll be happy to know audience that the entirety of Artua interview, the Chris Cody Isocam edition, is now live on our YouTube page.
[720] YouTube .com slash at Lebitardtard Show.
[721] If you want to the director's cut of Chris Cody's ISO cam.
[722] The reason I wanted and bring up all of this, okay?
[723] There is actually, I am in cahoots with management on this one, okay?
[724] We spent a lot of money last year to go to a Super Bowl after a season of hope, and the dolphin season ended as soon as we made those plans.
[725] Chris Cody is a lifetime dolphin fan.
[726] It's handed down in his family.
[727] he's the third biggest dolphin fan in his family.
[728] Greg Cody is second and Chris Cody's mom is first.
[729] Happy birthday to her, by the way.
[730] You should give her the happy birthday, Stephen A. Smith sound.
[731] Happy birthday to her.
[732] I don't care.
[733] Good luck.
[734] Happy birthday to Arlene, who is getting no thanks or gratitude from the diva Greg as she plans his 70th birthday party, which is a huge pain in the ass with his coworkers because they don't know how to dress, they don't know how to do interviews, they don't know how to get things on time, and get to places on time.
[735] They're wolverines.
[736] I explain that to everyone who joined Metal Arc since our beginnings at the Clevelander, when they'd leave a kitchen with just dishes and half -eaten things.
[737] Yes, you're trying to train Wolverines here to behave like human beings.