MFM Minisode 149

[0] This is exactly right.

[1] And welcome to my favorite murder.

[2] The Minasode.

[3] We read your shit to you and you listen.

[4] It's stories.

[5] It's hometowns.

[6] Now it's turned into a whole other thing of just tell us about family members that you want us, that you think we should know about.

[7] What's your favorite story?

[8] It could be about anything.

[9] It could be the little red hen.

[10] Remember that one chicken that did all the work?

[11] Yeah.

[12] Make up, yeah.

[13] Do that.

[14] My family's was Choochee Choch and Hachee Choochoochee Choochuk.

[15] I was telling you about that.

[16] Say the names again.

[17] Choochichok and Hachie Choochoochooch.

[18] Chi -Choo -Chicac.

[19] And who were these people again?

[20] I think they were little chickens that lived on a farm.

[21] That's what my grandma told me. Okay.

[22] But my whole family, like, that's the story we were told us growing up.

[23] So is it, was it hard, stark side or your mom's side?

[24] My mom's side.

[25] So was it a lore, like, they made the story up, or was it an actual, like, folk tale.

[26] Someone tell me. It might be an old Yiddish folk tale.

[27] Have you ever heard of Choochuk or Hako Chichichok?

[28] Well, let us know at my favorite murder .org.

[29] Please.

[30] Okay.

[31] You go first.

[32] Are we ready?

[33] Ready.

[34] Now, these ones are Ireland, right?

[35] These are Ireland and UK.

[36] I'm from Manchester.

[37] Because we're going to be in the UK and Ireland this coming this week.

[38] Very soon.

[39] Yeah.

[40] So there's live shows.

[41] Go to My Favorite Murder .com.

[42] Check out if we have tickets left or not.

[43] And then if you have any civic issues, go to My Favorite Murder .gov. That's right.

[44] Okay.

[45] So this first one, the subject line is fucked up hometown murder rural Ireland.

[46] Great.

[47] This is what we're here for.

[48] Howdy -ho partners.

[49] In an Irish accent, though.

[50] Like, think of it in an Irish accent.

[51] Oh, howdy -ho partners?

[52] So that was terrible.

[53] It says, I'm from Ireland, so I don't know why I did that.

[54] I'm just very excited to be emailing ye.

[55] A long one, but worth it.

[56] I am from a all -caps tiny place where there has never been any crime until this happened.

[57] Anyway, in early December of 1998, a 17 -year -old.

[58] girl was brutally raped and murdered, and her body was found later the following day on a nearby beach by a man walking his dog.

[59] She had been driving around with her friends when she decided she needed to go to the bathroom and tried one of the local pubs, but because she was under age and the pub was closing, they wouldn't let her in.

[60] A mistake, I'm sure, that haunts them to this day.

[61] She told her friends that she would walk to a nearby chip shop and try there, and that was the last time she was seen alive.

[62] As she was walking toward the chipper, a local man. who she would have known because everyone knows everyone around here in his late 20s stopped and asked if she needed a lift she said yes innocently and got in I don't know the exact details of what went on in the car but I do know that she went on a drive and somewhere along the way must have realized what was going to happen to her he brought her to a local very secluded beach near his home and proceeded to rape her with an object and must have beaten her pretty badly and left her there hoping for the tide to take her out luckily it didn't her cause of death was put down as drowning and compression of the neck the man went back to the local nightclub in a different outfit and started fighting with people to cause a scene so that he could use it as his alibi he was taken in for questioning and the guards found fibers from her cardigan and socks on his jumper and in his car he was sentenced in 2001 to life in prison for her murder plus another ten years for her rape he is still in prison today but rumors swirl around every year that he will be getting out soon Stay sexy and don't get murdered.

[63] For the love of God, if a young girl needs to use the bathroom, just let them do it, and don't let your friends go off on their own.

[64] Love the show.

[65] Keep doing what ye do.

[66] It makes me laugh and cry and allows me to ignore people.

[67] Bye.

[68] Oh, my God.

[69] And there's no name.

[70] That might be the heaviest one we were started with.

[71] Yeah.

[72] Why not get into it?

[73] This is what Ireland is all about.

[74] They tell you the truth.

[75] They tell you the whole story.

[76] And guess what, God damn it.

[77] Terrible accent.

[78] Not drunk.

[79] Not drunk Irish, Karen.

[80] Oh, Jesus.

[81] Drunk Irish, Karen.

[82] I'm going to have to get, I'm going to have to be hypnotized back into a recidative state.

[83] All right.

[84] That's not a word.

[85] Yes, it is.

[86] Is it?

[87] Isn't it?

[88] This one's called, creepy Christmas.

[89] Hi, Karen, Georgia, and assorted fluff balls.

[90] No. Love it.

[91] I've not got a murder story for you.

[92] I've not got a murder story for it.

[93] This is from Manchester.

[94] I've not got a murder story for you, but have a messed up story my dad told me, which I just have to share.

[95] I'm from Manchester in the UK, and my dad was a sergeant for Greater Manchester Police.

[96] Yes.

[97] His job always sounded so interesting, and I'm sure that's where my love of true crime came from.

[98] Anyway, my real story is about a Christmas party from my dad's earlier days on the force when I was just a baby.

[99] Dad had drawn the short straw and had a work Christmas Day.

[100] Normally Christmas Day callouts for the usual family fallouts over burnt turkeys, and there was always one woman who tried to chop off her husband's dong because he'd bought her an iron for Christmas.

[101] And then she said, I mean, I'd be pissed too, but that's...

[102] a bit too far.

[103] This one call -out was about suspicious activity at the local funeral home.

[104] Creepy already, right?

[105] So my dad and his partner go to investigate the building and see that the lights are on and they can hear Christmas music playing pretty loudly.

[106] As they walk into the morgue in the basement, they find the mortician sat at a table enjoying his Christmas lunch with a bunch of dead bodies propped up.

[107] No. And then all caps.

[108] And wearing freaking Christmas hats.

[109] Oh no. The guy had no family.

[110] So decided to spend the day.

[111] with the guys from work.

[112] No, they're not, no, they're not the guys from work.

[113] I'm not even sure what law this breaks, but hopefully a shit ton.

[114] I know the guy lost his job, but I have no idea what happened after that.

[115] My dad always loved sharing his weird -ass stories and was definitely a secret murderino.

[116] Even though he passed away a couple years ago, the family keep retelling his stories, and it's a great way to keep him with us, as well as creep out new people, which he totally would have loved.

[117] Hope you all enjoy the weirdness, stay sexy, and don't get murdered at Christmas, Amy.

[118] Amy oh my god just the vision of that yeah because coming up on it hearing the music first there is something very sinister about Christmas music it's that kind of thing of like it's only good you can't too loud like inappropriately loud Christmas music is a horror movie it already just sets the perfect scene of I'm so creeped out and it's just jingle bells I can't hear you jingle bells is too loud what are you saying I think the law isn't the law like defiling a corpse definitely there's definitely got to be Plus, you probably have to have some kind of certificate or something to work there.

[119] Where you promised not to do bad things.

[120] Not to hurt.

[121] Great.

[122] Okay, so the subject line of this one is, Times My Mother Almost Killed Us, Ireland edition.

[123] Yes.

[124] This is what we've been waiting for.

[125] Hi, Elvis, Mimi, Dottie, Frank George, and staff.

[126] Amazing.

[127] Perfectly executed.

[128] Longtime listener, here answering the call for Times Our Mother Almost.

[129] killed us.

[130] There were many times we just about escaped with our lives growing up in the 70s and 80s, but here are two stories that were a bit too close for comfort.

[131] In the mid -70s, my mom was driving up the street in our local town on her way to do the weekly food shop.

[132] My older brothers aged two and three at the time were bobbing around in the backseat with neither a car seat nor a seat belt between them.

[133] What for?

[134] They let them be free.

[135] Mom noticed it had gone suspiciously quiet all of a sudden, so she glanced over her shoulder, only to see one of the back doors wide open and no sign of the two -year -old.

[136] The three -year -old, his arch nemesis, was sitting, looking upwards, practically whistling.

[137] My mom slammed on the brakes, swung around, drove back the way they came, and there was the two -year -old sitting in the middle of the road covered in blood.

[138] One quick trip to the dock later to confirm it was all superficial and the skin on his face would grow back and then straight home to lock the child back door oh my god and then straight home to child lock the back doors wow so now on to my story when i was five i was playing in the garden by myself my mom was indoors washing up when something told her to check on me a miracle as she never checked on me um when she went out there I was hanging by the neck from an excess piece of cord from the washing line.

[139] Oh, my God.

[140] I had started turning blue, but was still conscious.

[141] She couldn't free me so she had to run indoors to get a knife to cut me down.

[142] Holy shit.

[143] We sat on the lawn all afternoon as she hadn't the strength in her legs to walk back from the shock.

[144] Dude.

[145] The only thing I remember from it is having to wear a giant polo neck all summer to hide the mark around my neck.

[146] I'm getting chills.

[147] also I love I mean I know it's because she doesn't remember but it's like how'd you get up there what were you doing right why was this the situation we were in sure these are just two of the many near death experiences I remember as a helicopter my own parents now my own children yeah you do always oh anyways stay sexy and don't hang out on washing lines Martina wow oh those are maybe two of the worst ones in one story yeah pushed his brother A three -year -old push a two -year -old out of the car.

[148] Yeah.

[149] And then like in Raising Arizona.

[150] Yeah, yeah.

[151] Flip around and go back and the kids just sitting in the middle of the road.

[152] That was like two of the best and one, like short and sweet.

[153] Yes.

[154] And horrifying.

[155] I have one along the same lines.

[156] Okay.

[157] It's called tender baby kebab slash 911 operator.

[158] Oh, no. And then the greeting is all.

[159] Yeah.

[160] Finally.

[161] All.

[162] I used to be a 9 -9 -9 -9 -9.

[163] That's 911 in British, as you know, operator when I was in my early 20s based in Glasgow, Scotland, where I still live.

[164] We took calls from all over the UK for a particular cell phone company, so you never knew what you were getting into.

[165] Wait.

[166] So you never knew what you were going to get.

[167] About 90 % of calls were pocket dials or old people looking for a chat.

[168] But some of the real calls stuck in my mind nearly 20 years later, and the most recent minisode brought this fun flooding back to me, unfortunately.

[169] Oh, no. One slow afternoon, I took a call from a very calm English lady asking for an ambulance.

[170] My role was to connect her to someone at the ambulance service and then stay mutely on the line to make sure the dispatcher got all the information they needed.

[171] Sometimes it was an interesting call.

[172] We'd linger to hear the details, which is how it came to hear the following.

[173] The dispatcher asked the lady, what had happened?

[174] And she very calmly said that her two -year -old son had been helping her in the kitchen as they were baking some cakes.

[175] he was standing on a chair then it says all caps red flag with a wooden spoon in his hand then it says red flag and being a teething toddler when he inevitably slipped the spoon went all caps straight through the roof of his mouth and was now lodged there oh no that's right a tender baby kebab the ambulance dispatcher remarked that she was very calm and she said oh I know it'll be fine as long as I don't look inside.

[176] The kid wasn't even crying and seemed to be supremely unconcerned by what was happening.

[177] By this time, I could hear the ambulance arriving, so we had to hang up, and I often wonder what happened next, but the image has never left me, and it makes me wince every now and then.

[178] I'll tell you about the time I heard a guy getting shot in a supermarket parking lot and had to give a witness statement for another time.

[179] Wow.

[180] Stay sexy, and for the love of God, don't suck on the end of a kitchen utensil.

[181] Claire.

[182] Claire is so right Claire about that 100 % I bet you that baby wasn't crying because the grandma wasn't freaking out Right That's how they do it Right If you ever seen that Where like a little kid falls down And then people who don't Aren't used to kids go That's me That's me I get freaked out And they're like Chill the fuck out Or the baby's gonna freak out Yeah Nora one time I remember her being like two And she hit her head really hard She's walking and hit her head Really hard against the wall And I go Oh Nor Like that And she goes, I know, I had to be more careful.

[183] It was the cutest thing where I was like, I was just trying to do it to make it like, that's too bad.

[184] But like, we don't need to cry about it.

[185] She was like self -analyzing what needs to happen next.

[186] Karen, you know I'm all about vintage shopping.

[187] Absolutely.

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[199] for managing our sales and if you're a business owner you can too connect with customers in line and online do retail right with shopify sign up for a one dollar per month trial period at shopify .com slash murder important note that promo code is all lowercase go to shopify dot com slash murder to take your retail business to the next level today that's shopify dot com slash murder goodbye okay the subject line of this was i thought i was going to get murdered on my way to lock nest yes hello mfm crew and animals Here and Karen talk about Nessie in the spooky Halloween episode reminded me of an incident that happened to me in Scotland.

[200] I went to Scotland last year to fulfill my grandfather's dream of visiting the ruins of our ancestral castle.

[201] Jesus.

[202] Cadzow Castle, which he hadn't been able to do because of his poor health.

[203] I had a great time while I was there, and of course I took a tour up to Loch Ness.

[204] Loch Ness is gorgeous, but a lot smaller than you might think.

[205] While it's certainly very dark, long, and deep, it's also very narrow.

[206] Lockness is the lake itself, right?

[207] Yes.

[208] The word lock is Scottish for lake.

[209] Oh, got it.

[210] You can always see the other side of the lock as you drive along the shore.

[211] Pretty.

[212] I took a cruise on the lock, but there was no Nessie sightings on the sonar.

[213] Just past Glencoe on our way up to Loch Ness, our tour guide pulled the small 12 -seater bus off the small winding mountain road into the long driveway of a construction site in the middle of nowhere.

[214] He said he was making an unplanned stop that he didn't use.

[215] usually make and told us all to stay on the bus while he got out run everyone else seemed really excited but i was looking out the window at the three construction dudes carrying shovels walking towards our bus and thinking well it's a good thing my travel insurance will pay to repatriate my remains if these guys murder oh my god there's got to be someone thinking of the of reality yeah hi it's me um hi it's all of us yeah suddenly everyone else started gasping and screaming so i turned to look out other window to see what they were looking at.

[216] Our tour guide had managed to coax three wild deer over to our bus.

[217] And we all got out to feed them carrots and bread.

[218] They were gentle and gorgeous.

[219] It's an experience I'll never forget.

[220] And I'm really glad our tour guide didn't turn out to be a murderer.

[221] Stay sexy and trust that if a tour guide was homicidal, the company he works for probably wouldn't have wouldn't have a 4 .5 star review rating online.

[222] No name.

[223] Oh, I love it.

[224] Amazing.

[225] Oh, I love it.

[226] Oh, how fun.

[227] People are screaming about deer.

[228] Yeah.

[229] Oh, man. I thought those shovels would come back into play.

[230] For sure.

[231] Oh, God, they didn't.

[232] All right.

[233] This one is called, uh, well, I'm just going to say it's, it's called a story from a feminist museum.

[234] Okay.

[235] Hi, Karen and Georgia.

[236] Hi.

[237] Hi.

[238] I was excited to listen to Minnesota 89 and hear your callout for objects from museum workers.

[239] Yes.

[240] And then your latest episode that asks for stories of cats saving people because if there's a Venn diagram of the two, this is a I work at the UK's only accredited museum dedicated to women's history, Glasgow Women's Library.

[241] Nice.

[242] The name is a bit of a misnomer because although we are a library, we're also a museum and archive and we specialize in celebrating the lives, histories, and achievements of women in a very intersectional feminist way, but anyone is welcome to visit.

[243] We are based in Glasgow, but we work across Scotland and welcome visitors from around the world.

[244] The object I'm sending you is a story of a cat saving someone, which I know you'll all enjoy.

[245] It's a newspaper clipping that was unearthed from our archive during a recent project looking at the work of Scottish women's aid, a groundbreaking movement working to challenge and prevent domestic abuse.

[246] The clipping was found by our archivist Elizabeth and has become a firm favorite here at GWL.

[247] Someone must have kept the clipping when recording incidents of violence against women, but luckily, this particular woman had Max the Cat the Cat on her side.

[248] So I'm going to read to the clipping right now.

[249] Oh, shit.

[250] Clipping reads, Cat thwarts attack on owner.

[251] Max the cat thwarted a sex attacker, sinking his claws into the face of a man who attempted to assault his owner as she walked along a pathway.

[252] The cat was trotting behind his mistress in Bracknell, Berkshire, when the attack took place.

[253] Police are looking for a man with deep scratches in his face.

[254] I don't know when it's from, but isn't it amazing?

[255] First of all, the cat's following the owner like a dog.

[256] Yes.

[257] Down a little, they're going on a nighttime walk.

[258] Also, my grandma used to say to Elvis, when we lived with her, go to your mistress.

[259] She'd call me his mistress.

[260] I love that.

[261] Go to your mistress.

[262] Stop bugging me for chicken.

[263] Oh.

[264] That's sweet.

[265] I love it.

[266] And then it says, we don't know if the attacker was ever caught, but we hope Max's savage attack meant that someone was able to identify him.

[267] This is just one of the many objects we have, and I think that the work we do is up the street of every murderer now.

[268] We're working to eradicate the gender gap that continues to widespread inequality.

[269] in Scotland, and we provide a safe, welcoming space.

[270] We're always trying to get the word out about what we do and ignore the haters who believe our work to be unnecessary due to equality being a thing we've already achieved.

[271] Where do they live?

[272] I want to go there.

[273] White man land, it sounds like.

[274] On extremely tight budgets.

[275] But last September, we celebrated our 27th birthday, and we built ourselves up from being a totally volunteer run, place to having a staff of 21 badass women who do everything from working with adult literacy learners to commissioning artists and cataloging books with our own feminist catalog system to tweeting and Instagramming all that amazing work that they do.

[276] That's me. Keep up the great work and come and visit next time you're in Glasgow, Hannah.

[277] Amazing.

[278] That sounds so cool.

[279] So let me say what it's called again.

[280] It's called Glasgow Women's Library.

[281] Yeah.

[282] But they're not just a library.

[283] They do so much more.

[284] So much more.

[285] Thanks for sending that in.

[286] Thank you.

[287] This episode brought to you by the Glasgow Women's Library.

[288] The Glasgow Women's Library.

[289] where everybody has the greatest accent you've ever heard and they will go drink with you they always have new haircuts That's right, we gotta give them a shout out when we're in Glasgow at our live show Who's it?

[290] Are they in Glasgow Women's Library, bitches!

[291] When I lived in Glasgow, that was my favorite thing is every woman had perfect hair that was overtly like died or treated in some way and there were hair salons, I'm not kidding, like three a block.

[292] Wow.

[293] There was so many hair salons and it made me so happy for some reason.

[294] It was just like, women here are just like, I'm getting my shit taking care of on the daily.

[295] Yeah.

[296] Don't worry about it.

[297] Yeah.

[298] And I'll go over there if I don't get it right over here.

[299] And then I'm going to go to the Glasgow Women's Library and fucking be politically active and aware.

[300] That's right.

[301] I love it.

[302] Send us your stories, my favorite murder at Gmail.

[303] Come and see us in Ireland and the UK.

[304] That's right.

[305] And stay sexy.

[306] And don't get murdered.

[307] Goodbye.

[308] Elvis, you want a cookie?

[309] No.