229 - Live at the Arlene Schnitzer Concert Hall in Portland (2018)

[0] This is exactly right.

[1] What's up, Portland?

[2] We love it here.

[3] Hell, uh, oh.

[4] This is our night, our second night here, and it just feels like the first.

[5] It's real exciting.

[6] Thank you.

[7] No, stop it, stop it.

[8] I like how you won't, you won't commit to it by singing the words.

[9] Right.

[10] That would be for nerds.

[11] Instead, I make a joke of it.

[12] but I still get to do it anyway.

[13] This is exciting, right?

[14] This is fun.

[15] Can I just talk about a couple things?

[16] Waving has been, if you can tell already.

[17] Look at how many rings Georgia has on, first of all.

[18] This is, and I was waving and some of them don't fit, and I was like, don't throw a lot of money out to the audience.

[19] Look at that.

[20] Do you want to explain to what these are?

[21] I do.

[22] friend who lives here in Port and Cary, Selling Better.

[23] Hi, Angel, face.

[24] Hi, Carrie.

[25] Oh, they put her all the way.

[26] Did you put her in the back?

[27] Vince.

[28] Sorry.

[29] Steven.

[30] Sorry.

[31] She has a jewelry, like antique jewelry that she sells under Cassidy vintage jewelry and...

[32] Dotnet .com.

[33] And last night, we were all drinking at a bar and she was like, do you want to wear my jewelry tomorrow?

[34] And I'm like, yes.

[35] And I'm going to, you're going to be regretting this tomorrow.

[36] Because whenever I hang out with her, take all her jewelry off and put it on me in a playhouse.

[37] So there's like a ring box that's all open and Georgia's in it like a fucking raccoon in a garbage can.

[38] She's like both hands and part of her head were in this thing.

[39] And I'm thinking like I picked one.

[40] I'm like this is neat and interesting.

[41] Literally she's wearing one.

[42] Just I don't need to floss.

[43] Georgia on the other hand I need to fucking floss.

[44] She's just like hey, are you ready to go?

[45] It's hilarious.

[46] It's just like, I feel like it's a dream come true.

[47] Carrie, I should warn you, I've already lost my own wedding band.

[48] So.

[49] While I was going, it was $100 from JCPenny.

[50] It's fine.

[51] Not joking.

[52] Oh, yeah.

[53] They're on loan.

[54] We're just having fun.

[55] I just feel fancy as fuck.

[56] We're having fun with it in the schnitz.

[57] We're finally at the schnits, you guys.

[58] Can you believe it?

[59] We graduated from that McMinnemann's bullshit, and now we're at the schnits.

[60] The schnitz.

[61] Can you believe I said that?

[62] Can you believe I said that in the state of Oregon?

[63] Karen is starting a turf war.

[64] I'm starting a turf war.

[65] Meet me outside.

[66] I'll fucking fight you all.

[67] I love it.

[68] I love it.

[69] There's nothing I'd love more.

[70] Tell them about the bling on your boots.

[71] Oh, yeah.

[72] This is, thank you.

[73] It's from 1802.

[74] These are from Janet Jackson's last tour.

[75] No, they gave me, this happened right before we left.

[76] They called me from, I'm on a show that's not on anymore called Talk Show, the Game Show, and they thank you up in the balcony.

[77] No, no, it's too late.

[78] And they called and said, hey, do you want all of your wardrobe from this show?

[79] And I was like, okay.

[80] And then they truly dropped off 25 pairs of shoes that I will never wear.

[81] and, you know, like 50 shirt.

[82] It was crazy.

[83] It was just a haul.

[84] And so I've been wearing clogs with dresses for almost all of all the tours we've ever done, mostly to piss my sister off because she gets really mad when she sees those dance goes kicked out with a dress.

[85] For some reason, I don't know if she was hurt deeply by a nurse or what happened to her, but she gets mad.

[86] It's hard standing up here for 10 minutes before we sit down.

[87] I know, it's really hard.

[88] It hurts.

[89] It's difficult.

[90] Are you going to wear these?

[91] Are you going to go back to clogs?

[92] What do you think?

[93] I'm going to wear these for the rest of my life.

[94] I'm not day, night, beach, mountain.

[95] Ninety -two -year -old Karen's just like, I can't.

[96] Fuck, I said it as a joke, and now I have to do it.

[97] It was recorded.

[98] Really quick, my dress has pockets.

[99] Just so, yeah.

[100] It's important.

[101] It's important.

[102] Big ones.

[103] Oh.

[104] And last night, at the meat and green.

[105] There were these two girls sitting right around where you guys are last night.

[106] You might feel their spirits.

[107] They had, I kind of vaguely saw that they had, what were they called?

[108] Pentagrams.

[109] On their shirt.

[110] Big pink shirts with brown pentagrams.

[111] And I was like, ignore those two.

[112] Can't get involved with Satanists right now.

[113] Yeah.

[114] But when they came in through the fucking meet and greet, we realized that the pentagrams were made of raisins.

[115] Yeah.

[116] And by the time they got to us, like I'd say a good nine raisins had fallen off of each.

[117] So they were like quickly on the way to becoming stars with arches nearby.

[118] Like the pentagram theme was falling away quickly.

[119] But literally I just had one in my pocket.

[120] I must have taken it off our shirt like, here's my prize for the evening.

[121] I was like, what's that?

[122] That could be something bad.

[123] it is it's a raisin the worst thing there is here we'll put that there for the hometown person oh the hometown gets it yeah that's right that's right that's your prize why did I touch it tell a good story I just feel gross now oh um who likes old grapes who likes sad grapes they're called I so I told you the story last night about how when Vince and I were on the plane yesterday coming here without Karen I missed my plane I forgot about that until just now here's the thing when you live right next to an airport you're like I don't have to be there at the same time as normal people I'm different than normal people I'm in the exception to the rule the rule is you don't have to leave the time normal time as normal people do you have to get there you have to get there in time to make your plane turns out I guess that's the rule at airports I love it like the idea like I don't have to get thoroughly just hop the fence because it's your backyard and you just go, I just have to hop the fence.

[124] Just run across the tarmac?

[125] Yeah, it's me, it's me. Oh, it's the neighbor, it's a neighbor.

[126] Yeah, later on, it's fine.

[127] Does she need sugar?

[128] Or is she getting on the...

[129] Here's the thing about fucking Alaska Airlines, those lunatic Christians.

[130] When I walked up, and I honestly think I was like three minutes late, Max.

[131] When I walked up, I was like, put my ID down and I was like flying to Portland, and they're like, only 1120.

[132] And then I was like, yeah, whatever.

[133] it was.

[134] It was like, yeah.

[135] It was the 9 .30.

[136] That might have been the problem.

[137] I do have a problem with a clock.

[138] I think we actually landed at 1120.

[139] Okay.

[140] Did you get the wrong?

[141] No. Got it.

[142] No. I'm just fucking totally insane.

[143] So when I tried to check in, the lady's like, for the 9 fucking 30, whatever it is?

[144] And I was like, yeah, of course.

[145] And then she's like, the door's closed.

[146] But the way she said it was like either she was auditioning for a soap opera or like I ruined her birthday party I was just like hold on I'm the one in peril here right why are you mad at me fucking blue vested bitch I didn't say that I didn't say it maybe she would let you on if I just whoa there's an alpha in the room yeah we're gonna need her we're gonna need her on the plane for safety yep once the shit kicks off I want this chick we want that crazy cunt on that plane.

[147] You know what actually happened?

[148] Yeah, the balcony likes the word cunt.

[149] Here's what.

[150] Lights up.

[151] People are just falling off the balcony.

[152] Here's what happened, though.

[153] So Vince, I text Vince, Georgia's husband, our tour manager, the greatest.

[154] Very good.

[155] My proxy, Karen's husband, too.

[156] He's my proxy.

[157] And I'm like, he's, so I missed the plane.

[158] They're sitting on the plane.

[159] I missed the plane.

[160] And by the way, she could have fucking made it.

[161] If that chick had opened the door, whatever, I don't know, is there a magic door behind them?

[162] Behind where you check in that they let you in, Karen could have made it.

[163] I probably could have.

[164] Someone lied to you.

[165] But I texted me, I'm like, I missed the plane.

[166] He's like, I'm getting you on the 11 o 'clock, whatever.

[167] That was like the makeup plane.

[168] Yeah, yeah.

[169] But guess what it was on?

[170] This is the way he's teaching me to never.

[171] miss my plane again fucking southwest have you lately have you lately flown on that fucking cattle truck of a horror show you the lady sitting next to me had her leg over my thigh it was just like let's just make the best of this it was so awful so awful on that it's like they open the door to to run so you can go to the plane because in Burbank you have to like walk across the tarmac and they're like they just yell run every single person you've ever been stuck behind on the fucking freeway just starts oh I hate everyone oh just so once we take off Vince gets your flight we take off I am A I am a very ugly sleeper I sleep with my fucking head I'll tilt back I have fucked up jaw so my mouth I sleep like this like wide fucking almost like a snake, John hinged.

[172] It's pretty actually...

[173] You could eat a large egg if you were sleeping.

[174] Uh -huh.

[175] And the fucking asshole in front of me has a...

[176] Listen, look around on a plane next time.

[177] Listen and look around on a plane.

[178] And look.

[179] Are you the only person with your fucking window open?

[180] You're an asshole.

[181] Everyone hates you.

[182] Everyone hates you.

[183] She means the shade.

[184] Roll that fucking window.

[185] Roll that fucking window.

[186] Roll it up.

[187] Come on.

[188] Roll it up.

[189] Stopping an asshole and killing everyone.

[190] So then what happens?

[191] I have my sunglasses on because I'm fucking too cool and that guy won't shut his fucking window.

[192] Right.

[193] I have my hood.

[194] It's a combination of those two things.

[195] My hood on.

[196] Well, you know what?

[197] And then Vince takes a photo of me. Oh, do we get to see it?

[198] Yeah.

[199] Last night I forgot.

[200] But then, okay, let me just show you.

[201] Okay.

[202] All right.

[203] Oh.

[204] Oh.

[205] Oh.

[206] Oh.

[207] I guess we're not exaggerating.

[208] Oh, I see It's kind of a beautiful photo, right?

[209] It looks like you're doing an impression of that Lindsay Lowhan paparazzi photo It does I'm not even drunk It's like 9 a .m. I haven't had a drink I'm not even drunk Okay, so here's what happened next Oh, Paddington on her little plane Look at her!

[210] The coolest Paddington ever Your teeth look pretty great though No, your teeth are great When I wake up, Vince is like giggling, and he shows me the photo.

[211] And this, I must love him so fucking much because normally, like, this is off limits.

[212] Don't take a photo of me when I'm sleeping because I look like that.

[213] But I think it's funny.

[214] But then he shows it to me, and he has his earbuds in because he's listening to something.

[215] So you know how you yell shit when you think, and you're on a plane?

[216] But you think you're speaking like a respectful waiter?

[217] Right.

[218] He points it at me, and he goes, he yells us on a plane.

[219] Unabomber!

[220] Yeah.

[221] He's correct, but he just yelled Unabomber on a plane.

[222] He's not wrong.

[223] He's not wrong.

[224] He's not wrong.

[225] How good is that?

[226] If the Unabomber was like, I love Paddington there.

[227] And marmalade sandwiches.

[228] I don't want to anymore.

[229] And then I, yeah.

[230] By the way, welcome to, this is my favorite murder of the podcast, by the way.

[231] Just in case.

[232] Case you don't know.

[233] That's Karen Kilgariff.

[234] This is Georgia Hardstar.

[235] Thank you.

[236] Thank you.

[237] Steven's not here.

[238] Oh, right.

[239] He literally hasn't been like a year, you guys.

[240] But he's taking care of my cats at home, and I'm always talking about, like, photos he sends me. So afraid you're going to throw that raisin away.

[241] Don't touch it.

[242] Stop touching it.

[243] I'm going to put it on my ring.

[244] Oh, my God.

[245] Why hasn't anyone come out with a line of raisin jewelry?

[246] Instead of carrots?

[247] How many carrots is your ring?

[248] It's actually just one raisin.

[249] It's just the raisin.

[250] We decided to go with one raisin.

[251] But he sends me photos of the cats and videos, and I'm always, my hair just came off of me and flew right onto you.

[252] That was on me?

[253] Yeah.

[254] Leave it, it's good luck.

[255] He sent me a photo this morning as I was, as I, this morning is noon as I woke up and changed my murder last minute.

[256] And I was like, send that to Vince, because I need to put it up on the screen tonight because I need to show you guys what my life.

[257] It's the best.

[258] Get you a fucking cat sitter who does shit like this.

[259] Oh.

[260] Karen hasn't seen this.

[261] This is great.

[262] What the fuck?

[263] The fuck is he doing?

[264] I'm afraid I'm going to Kelsey Grammar and fall off this stage, but...

[265] Here, lean back.

[266] Thank you.

[267] Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[268] Look at Mimi fucking mad -dogging him.

[269] Mimi's like, are you...

[270] Send this to my mom.

[271] Send this to my mom.

[272] Let her know how I feel.

[273] Let her know what's going on.

[274] Please.

[275] He's just, it's like every day is a new journey for Stephen.

[276] Every moment.

[277] He's not broken yet.

[278] No. Well, we're going to fix that.

[279] I think he might be completely Teflon.

[280] He's like Kevlar.

[281] His teeth look good too.

[282] Yeah, he knows he looks good.

[283] He does look good.

[284] I mean, how could you not be like, I'm fine?

[285] The cats are fine.

[286] Mimi's not fine.

[287] Look at that face.

[288] Mimi is traumatized.

[289] He's doing something before or after that picture.

[290] Yeah, what's in his hand that we can't see?

[291] Yes.

[292] Oh.

[293] What if he was like the most fucking psychopathic?

[294] Like he's Mr. Sweet Stephen, and then like he's taking these pictures and showing you like, I just poked your cat with a needle.

[295] And then he's like, no way.

[296] What?

[297] Go with me. This is a fun improv.

[298] It's funny.

[299] What if somebody was secretly torturing your animals?

[300] No, no, no. Just my thing.

[301] What if he just didn't have pants on in that photo?

[302] What if he's naked from the waist?

[303] down in this photo.

[304] That's got to be it.

[305] Now Mimi knows.

[306] Mimi has a very small cell phone in her hand.

[307] She's like touching that emergency number.

[308] Mimi's poking him.

[309] What if Mimi's poking him with a needle?

[310] Ooh.

[311] And he's like, I don't care.

[312] I love cats.

[313] I don't care what they do to me. Tell my mom everything's fine.

[314] Tell her.

[315] Tell her you like it.

[316] So that's Stephen.

[317] and what else is there?

[318] Should we...

[319] How's your nails?

[320] Should we sit down?

[321] I just painted them two minutes.

[322] I put this ring on and then what I had on every fingernail before was just the very last vestiges of this exact fingernail polish from two weekends ago.

[323] When you painted them backstage in...

[324] Durham, North Carolina.

[325] That's right.

[326] So, right?

[327] Durham's in the house.

[328] So, I, put this ring on, then I'm like, well, that would be gross.

[329] If I then had, this is like, you know, Lady Musgrove's fucking engagement ring or whatever.

[330] I mean, the history of these, someone insane must have worn these.

[331] Like, they're haunted as fuck.

[332] They're haunted.

[333] There's no way they're not.

[334] Okay, let's sit down, shall we?

[335] Yeah, let's do it.

[336] Let's sit down.

[337] Oh, just a, this is a fun fact.

[338] We love trivia here.

[339] You know how we love trivia.

[340] these chairs not only do they circle all the way around full rotation mine didn't last night and I got real angry and so someone obviously got the note yeah your side clears as does mine okay great we can sit down thank God these were flown in by special request from Anderson Cooper and Andy Cohen so you don't have to here's how they do it they go they do this exact same thing at places like this and they order a set that must be very similar to this although I bet you they go with a different kind of rug but then they leave the chairs behind because it's too expensive to ship them wherever they're going next so they just buy new chairs in every city and we keep following them and then getting these sweet -ass chairs where we're just like you don't normally get an armrest a cushion alone is a big deal much less a tasteful Heather Gray That's right.

[341] I mean, everything about it is fucking...

[342] There you go.

[343] I don't know what that was.

[344] I don't either.

[345] Here, take your fucking disgusting.

[346] Give me my fucking raisin.

[347] Out of here.

[348] Mine.

[349] You're nasty old.

[350] I'll take my nasty tissue and you take your nasty...

[351] What if I got them mixed up on accident?

[352] Oh, my God.

[353] Shove that raisin right at my nose.

[354] Can you imagine?

[355] How to get taken to the hospital from here.

[356] Just go like this.

[357] It's not a place.

[358] I'm going to feature it.

[359] It's disgusting.

[360] It's gorgeous.

[361] What did we become?

[362] Oh, this is a true crime comedy podcast.

[363] For all you people who have never participated before, but somehow someone tricked you into coming tonight.

[364] Welcome.

[365] Bought you a nice dinner.

[366] Told you, it wouldn't be that long.

[367] It's basically a murder mystery theater, they said.

[368] Someone said that.

[369] Someone was in the meet and greet line, and they were like, we told her it was a murder mystery theater.

[370] She had never heard it.

[371] So she's listening to us tell the fucking most fucked up stories of all time.

[372] thinking that we're all as a group going to solve it at the end.

[373] Or that, you know...

[374] Or she's going to get one tap on the shoulder and she has to pretend...

[375] She's like, that theater class I took in community college 20 years ago is finally going to pay off.

[376] No, I'm the victim.

[377] But no. Nope, sorry, Amph Valley.

[378] But we do like to tell people this if you've never listened to the podcast or you're new or, you know, you just have season tickets to the schnets.

[379] Listen.

[380] You're a drag -al.

[381] Especially you.

[382] This is important.

[383] We talk about true crime, which of course are often murders, mayhem, disasters, all kinds of things that are very difficult to talk about.

[384] But then we also do it comedically.

[385] And so sometimes people find that combination a little bit complex, maybe a tiny bit difficult.

[386] They don't know that yet that they can trust us.

[387] Right.

[388] That you're in good hands.

[389] That we're conscientious caring people.

[390] Right.

[391] And sometimes they don't like it.

[392] They're offended by that.

[393] They don't like the word cunt.

[394] Right.

[395] Or what have you?

[396] Any number of things that can go on here.

[397] So we just want to say to those people, if you don't like it, please get the fuck out as soon as possible.

[398] Karen, you know I'm all about vintage shopping.

[399] Absolutely.

[400] And when you say vintage, you mean when you physically drive to a store and actually purchase something with cash?

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[412] So then sometimes you have these ones that everyone grow up knowing about who is from Portland and around here, and then people like us who aren't had never heard of them, and then there's like, you're like, holy shit.

[413] Anyways, I don't, this is one of them.

[414] What if you were doing a third one?

[415] Then you're just like...

[416] I'm not doing that.

[417] Then there's.

[418] Yeah, no, I'm doing the Peyton Allen murders.

[419] nobody you guys didn't grow up you no it's too it's definitely too late for that it's very unnatural to clap after a three second hold okay so I got a lot of information there's one really great article from the Register Guard called Hidden History and Mystery by Randy Borgstad who fucking they moved into this house they tear down a wall they find a bunch of papers in this wall like clippings and weird drawings and shit and one of them was a clipping of this murder that took place in 1960 and it's and there's some mystery around it and the guy's like uh what the fuck yes so he fucking tracks them down and found out that it was a kid's room and like the little brother was a child murderer well no it was like 12 years old and just fascinated with his brother was like he was dead down his brother was like he was fascinated with murders and he got really into hypnosis and there was like a notepad with all this hypnosis shit in it and like it's just bananas he was a little murderer now just waiting to just waiting for his time hiding shit in walls.

[420] Pretty great.

[421] Okay.

[422] So in 1960, Larry Payton of Portland and Beverly Allen of Port Townsend, Washington.

[423] You said Washington like you've never heard that word before.

[424] Washington.

[425] Washington is how you say it?

[426] Okay.

[427] Mm -hmm.

[428] They are 19 -year -old sweethearts and students.

[429] He's at Portland State College, and she's at.

[430] Washington State College maybe the fighting mulberries right and the and the the wrestling chicken men sometimes we can just pick men right that's true then does anyone have a what do you call it mascot that's just a man that fighting man the fighting dude you know they got fights with everybody he's out there fighting The finding drunk, just a drunk guy.

[431] Oh, that's Notre Dame.

[432] Okay.

[433] So they had met during the summer of 1960, they were both students and had summer jobs at Crater Lake Lodge, and had fallen in love.

[434] What a lake.

[435] What a lodge.

[436] The Lake of the Lodge.

[437] They go so well together.

[438] That's right.

[439] And Crater Lake is where I had done a murder there before, too.

[440] Yes.

[441] And I did the mysteries of Crater Lake.

[442] That's right.

[443] We know, we're fucking experts.

[444] Listen, we know everything.

[445] We know.

[446] We're walking Wikipedia's.

[447] Which means incorrect in too many commas.

[448] Filled with, our heads are filled with them.

[449] So, Thanksgiving weekend, in 1960, they had both spent the weekend with their families.

[450] And then so on the 26th, they met up to smooch.

[451] Like, let's be honest, they're 19.

[452] They're like, we're going to go into town.

[453] No. They're like, we're going to do.

[454] neck.

[455] And heavy pet and neck.

[456] It was 1960.

[457] That's what your parents did.

[458] Okay.

[459] So the couple go out for a drive, and they end up, as fucking couples do in horror movies and of the 1960s.

[460] On a dirt road?

[461] On a dark lover's lane.

[462] Yep.

[463] It's one of these stories, necking.

[464] Maybe they were talking.

[465] I don't know.

[466] They weren't talking on the lover's horticulture I do cool cool sorry I started the scene over here but I should have done it with you no now it's creepy that wasn't cool at all now there's three people on the car on Lover's Lane and I'm in the middle Lucky Pierre and they're in Forest Park in Portland Hills which is like it's so weird because in L .A. I hear like oh they're on the Portland Hills and they're in like a beautiful outdoorsy area So I'm like, they must be hours and hours from town.

[467] Because in L .A., there's nothing beautiful there.

[468] Ever.

[469] It's a sad, it's a sad dad.

[470] It is the saddest dad in the whole parking lot.

[471] That's all it is.

[472] But it's actually just, like, you can see it from here.

[473] It's like a 10 -minute drive, and then you're in the most beautiful fucking place in the world.

[474] It's great.

[475] Oh, the dads are stoked as fuck up there.

[476] Dad's everywhere.

[477] Dad's loving life.

[478] Ugh.

[479] they park in his 1949 Ford and start necking here's a photo of them of them necking I know he looks like suddenly Seymour he is and then look at how gorgeous she is they're just like yeah it's like out of a fucking movie Larry Peyton and Beverly Allen okay So, the next, cut to the next evening.

[480] Yeah.

[481] To Multnomah.

[482] Multnomah.

[483] Multnomah.

[484] County Sheriff's Deputies.

[485] They're trolling the Forest Park in remote areas looking for stolen cars when they happen upon Larry Payton's car the next evening at 9 .32 p .m. That's got to be creepy, right?

[486] Anybody in that car?

[487] Larry Payton is found dead in the car He's discovered in the front seat of his car He had 23 stab wounds Fuck I know And a severe blow to the head There's blood inside and outside of the car He had obviously fought for his life There's a bullet hole Found on the passenger's side of the front window All the bullets are gone though There's a man's sock on the road nearby And also 18 inches of green nylon cord lying behind the car.

[488] And finally, there's a small penknife that had been placed on the hood of the car.

[489] But what's missing is Beverly Allen.

[490] But part of her blouse is discovered in the car and her handbag, which had money, was on the floor, not taken.

[491] Her jacket is there as well, spattered with blood on the front seat and her glasses are by the car smashed as well.

[492] Yeah.

[493] News of the crime fucking grips, you guys.

[494] And also all over the fucking country, people are, you know, it's a lover's lane slang.

[495] It's crazy.

[496] And it's like everything you've ever heard by a fucking campfire.

[497] Right.

[498] Like it's so, it's scary just a car on a lover's lane is scary by itself.

[499] Totally.

[500] And it's 1960, so everyone's like, this doesn't happen, you know.

[501] So, boop, boop, boop, boop.

[502] Okay.

[503] People comb officers and volunteers comb the hills looking for Beverly.

[504] And when we can 600 people show up.

[505] including a contingent.

[506] I obviously copied and pasted that.

[507] From Crown Zellerbach paper company where her father works.

[508] Oh my God, the heiress to the Crown Zellerbach paper fortune is here tonight.

[509] What's up, Ashley?

[510] She's like, I'm going to buy all those jewelry.

[511] She's like, I will have every ring you're wearing.

[512] Ashley Zellerbach, what's up?

[513] Someone cheered for a paper company.

[514] I'm looking, this town rules so hard.

[515] Love paper.

[516] Beverly's dad worked there, so everyone came out to look for her as well, and they couldn't find her.

[517] People kept reporting seeing someone who looked like her, but of course it turned out to be cases of misidentification.

[518] Because sadly, 43 days after they found Larry, he, on Monday, January 9th, 1961, Beverly's body was discovered by highway workers down a slow.

[519] off Highway 26, 40 miles west of Portland in the town of Timber.

[520] So there's a student named Phil Stanford.

[521] He's a private, he was a private investigator and a former columnist for the Portland Tribune in Oregonian.

[522] He wrote a book about this case called the Peyton Allen Files.

[523] He says that the authorities, of course, ruined the crime scene.

[524] Quote, they didn't secure it, and people were walking all over the place, reporters and photographers and cops leaving footprints and dropping cigarette butts.

[525] I mean, I feel like that's the 1960s essentially.

[526] There's just people walking on anything and putting cigarette butts everywhere.

[527] I also think that with crime scenes happened up until like 1997.

[528] It's very recent that people are like, you know what, we're not going to have the reporters come in first.

[529] Yeah.

[530] We're going to get some scientists in here first before reporters and photographers.

[531] Have you seen this newfangled invention called gloves?

[532] Yeah, I don't trust them.

[533] I don't trust them.

[534] It turns out they're not just for blowing up and and hitting them at each other.

[535] You put them on before you touch a crime scene.

[536] No, I'm Catholic.

[537] I can't do that.

[538] Sorry.

[539] Not doing it.

[540] Okay.

[541] Fine.

[542] Detectives chased many leads.

[543] They questioned a sailor who went missing from Tong Point Naval Station.

[544] What did you look at me like that for?

[545] Because it's named Tong Point Naval Station, and we have one recruit from there.

[546] Thank you so much for your service.

[547] Thank you for your service.

[548] We do appreciate it.

[549] That's near Astoria.

[550] He had gone...

[551] There's one guy from there.

[552] Every city.

[553] He had gone AWOL the day after the murders.

[554] And it turns out...

[555] They just determined that Beverly had probably died right around the time she was kidnapped, so she wasn't held anywhere.

[556] So turns out two weeks after he had gone AWOL on January 23rd, 1961, The day, two weeks after Payton's body was discovered, the sailor named Wayne Budd, he, dude, okay, you guys ready for this.

[557] He was discovered 20 miles east of Astoria along Highway 30, and according to the story in the Oregonian, his body was found, quote, blown to bits by a charge reported as TNT.

[558] Either he blew himself up or someone else blew him up, but they thought that he might be the killer.

[559] I'm sorry, Wiley Coyote was in the area.

[560] I don't, that's crazy.

[561] Did they ever find out what he would happen?

[562] No, but he'll come, we'll talk about him in a minute.

[563] Oh, that's not just a random fact.

[564] I mean, it is.

[565] He did, okay, there might be more, I don't know.

[566] I see, I'm sorry, you're trying to lay out possibilities.

[567] Am I?

[568] Or did I just finish this 20 minutes ago?

[569] Another suspect was a local who was picked up a week or so after the murder.

[570] He was, he had been parole, he was a paroled convict who had recently come to Portland.

[571] He had a bullet wound in his arm, a recent one.

[572] I remember there was like a bullet, but there was no, a hole, but there was no bullet.

[573] He said he got it while target shooting, you know, when you're like, I'm going to get the target behind me, and you're like, shoot behind you.

[574] Hey, you're next.

[575] Oh, oh, oh, shit, yeah.

[576] Sure, dude.

[577] But before, please bring him in, before they could question him any further.

[578] In all the articles, it says that he escaped.

[579] But then in a couple, I could find, like a couple old ones I found, and it says a man showed up who said he was the detainees parole officer and someone just let him go.

[580] So we might have escaped by outwitting the cops, but they're just like, just say he escaped at the end of the day.

[581] So he, and then he took the fuck off, which is what innocent people do.

[582] Yes.

[583] You just have to leave sometimes.

[584] Yeah, more on him later.

[585] Okay.

[586] Despite the fervor of the community, wanting this crime solved.

[587] The case goes cold for eight years, and that is until August 1968, when three men are charged for the murders, brothers Edward and Carl Jorgensen, their 36 and 28, and their friend Robert Brom, they all get charged.

[588] Because a witness had come forward, a woman named Nikki Essex, and she's like, look, here's what happened.

[589] I started going to therapy and recovered this crazy fucking memory.

[590] Oh, oh.

[591] It's so bananas.

[592] Her memory had been wiped away by the trauma of the incident, she said, and restored years later, only after extensive therapy, including hypnosis and truth serum.

[593] Sodium, pentothal, right?

[594] No, wait, is that, yes.

[595] Yeah, yeah.

[596] I was like, but that's cyanide.

[597] No, it's not.

[598] No. Oh, I remembered after taking cyanide.

[599] But also, how bad is your therapist if you have to use truth serum?

[600] She had then remembered and then testified for the prosecution.

[601] at the trial that she had been with the Jorgensen brothers and she said that they had she had once had a quote and this was in the papers confidential relationship that's what I see a lot of manila folders and like raincoats and shit I think that's 1986 terms where they were boning yeah probably confidentially a confidential relationship with Edward off the record boning right okay um and that the night she was with Edward and the night of the murders and that she had seen them fighting with Larry Payton after he nearly forced, like they had been drag racing and that supposedly Larry with Beverly in the car had like almost driven them off the road.

[602] And so she says that basically they killed them because of that.

[603] And obviously she's probably full of shit, right?

[604] But one thing...

[605] We're all getting that feeling.

[606] Yeah, we're all on that.

[607] That's not a surprise.

[608] Everyone thinks she's full of shit.

[609] Getting stabbed 23 times usually doesn't come into play when you're doing a chicken thing with cars.

[610] Yeah.

[611] Usually.

[612] We don't know.

[613] Who can judge?

[614] I mean, but one thing she did say that that struck me that wasn't in a lot of the articles was that she said to them that they had put socks on their hands like mittens to wipe away the fingerprints.

[615] And remember there was a sock line near the car that didn't make much sense.

[616] I do remember.

[617] But that could have just been, that like could have been fed to her by the, you know, police.

[618] So who knows if that's true.

[619] the jury though finds ed jorgensen guilty and he receives life sentence plus 25 years and then several months later at his own trial his brother or several months later his brother they all get separate trials car but car the brothers acquitted of the murders because his attorney successfully argues that the young woman had been quote brainwashed so he kind of got a good attorney it sounds like just the one guy the younger brother the older brother gets 25 life and plus 25 younger brothers acquitted then in early 1970 their friend the friend braham who's elast to be tried is also convicted and sentenced to life was 25 years and the case is officially closed and that's the end no it's not I'm just good this is all this is all just typey words this is my food diary it's really long okay there we are then inexplicably in 1973 so that was 1970 and 68 and 70 5 years after being convicted Jorgensen is paroled from prison Weird, right?

[620] Brom is released in 77, that's just seven years after he had been in the work release program in Portland for a year.

[621] They released him.

[622] The chairman of the parole board at the time said that that prison officials considered Brom to be the best inmate they had ever had.

[623] He was so polite.

[624] he was so fun at dinner He was on time He just was good with like banter and conversation Yeah He just made he relaxed other prisoners Never threatened anyone with a homemade chiv No That's all it took It just wasn't what he was about Yeah Great at basketball Great at concrete Not killing people Sports Concrete sports I don't know What's that LeBron come explain to us What I was talking about is kind of like A playground The different things you would do Like for your hour outdoors I don't know if I ate a lot of protein tonight Before the show is really Just hit me Sorry about the You know what You did ask concrete sports Okay fine let's share it Fine Let's split seats Have these twosies with it I don't know if I did either Okay But but but all the men So all those dudes are like great And fucking split Oregon Because that's what you do Yes They're like fuck this place all right but but the guy got life plus 25 and he was out in seven years and the other guy they're both out at this point okay okay and they're and they fucking later it out of town great but of course there's a lot of doubts still that still linger uh that these guys were even guilty at all obviously um and the Oregon parole board uh okay because at the time especially even then especially for the parole board were really fucking like their sentencing was strict and they stuck to it so it was really weird to everyone that they let them out and it's settled to a lot of people that even they knew that they didn't do it so they let them go and in Phil Stanford's book about the case the Payton Allen files he argues that the convictions were an injustice and points to a more likely suspect in the case so now we're going to name our favorite theories okay remember that dude it's right remember that dude with the bullet hole who shop backwards.

[625] I'll never forget him.

[626] In his arm.

[627] He was picked up early after the murders.

[628] He was also seen hanging around the crime scene when they were like photographing it and shit like a looky loo.

[629] Those kinds of people.

[630] Oh, yeah.

[631] Turns out that he was around there too and Anne had a bullet hole in his arm.

[632] No, and no one noticed because they were like I want to scan the crowd but I have to smoke and throw it down in this crucial area 15 times.

[633] Put it out in the blood.

[634] Yeah.

[635] Well, he split town after, remember he was like, he escaped before they could question him, and they were like, that's weird.

[636] Anyways, let's look into someone else.

[637] Guess what his name is?

[638] Jerry?

[639] No. Can I guess again?

[640] Dan.

[641] No. Edward Wayne Edwards.

[642] Oh, we know him.

[643] Oh, wait, I think I have some other photo.

[644] Let's catch up real quick.

[645] Oh.

[646] Here's a photo of the.

[647] color.

[648] We're directly underneath this screen.

[649] I can't see it.

[650] I have to back it up.

[651] Great, right.

[652] Okay.

[653] And then, okay, so those are the three guys.

[654] We went to, oh, God, I should have caught up.

[655] I should write picture on my notes.

[656] Steven.

[657] Yeah, seriously, they look like the cast of Arrow or something.

[658] What the fuck is this?

[659] These are some hot pieces.

[660] What's hot?

[661] What?

[662] Next week on the O .C. Yeah.

[663] God, guys.

[664] I know.

[665] Let's stay here for a minute I mean Imagine if they had like Just a nice acoustic trio Oh my God The traveling Jorgensen Oh That'd be sweet It's a damn shame I bet one plays a steel guitar I love a steel guitar B 'b -b -b -b -b -b -b -b -b -b -l That was good Thank you That was a good B 'b -b -b -b -b -b -m -b.

[666] I've been practicing Boop -boop Okay so then we get to sorry to make you stand up again.

[667] It's all right.

[668] Edward, wait.

[669] This fucking guy.

[670] Remember this dude?

[671] Did we ever post the, you did him at a live show.

[672] Right.

[673] Did we ever post that?

[674] I don't know.

[675] I know.

[676] Boop, boop, bo, wait, wait.

[677] You got it.

[678] Okay.

[679] Edward, wait.

[680] Okay, let's talk about him.

[681] So at the time of the Peyton Allen murders, Edwards was on parole out of Deer Lodge prison in Montana.

[682] Holy shit.

[683] Really?

[684] Are you being sarcastic?

[685] they meant it well he was living in Portland on probation and in early 2009 the Wisconsin State Police they had a cold case from 1980 someone had followed two young lovers as they walked home from a wedding reception and stabbed the man to death and raped and strangled his fiancee the killer's DNA was taken and preserved and when the technology caught up in 2009 the DNA was tested and it came back to match Edward, Edwards, who at that time was just like a career criminal, but I don't think any murders had been pinned on him.

[686] So they get him, they have his DNA, they arrest him.

[687] He's just, he's this old man, and in a wheelchair on oxygen, he's charged with two counts of murder.

[688] In 2010, he also confesses that he was the murder of two young lovers in Doyleston, Ohio in 1977, again, execution style with a shotgun blast to the back of the neck.

[689] One of those people who suspects Edward Wayne Edwards of not just the Peyton Allen killings, but also being the Zodiac, wrote about it in August 7, 2009, on her true crime blog, True Crime Diary.

[690] Oh.

[691] She thinks...

[692] Michelle McNamara.

[693] So she writes, she thinks he's responsible for this murder, the Peyton Allen Merce, and that he's the Zodiac.

[694] There she really?

[695] Yeah.

[696] She writes, one of the strange results of DNA technology, and this is right when they caught him, is technology advancements is that it means a lot of tired old men suddenly have to pay for their sins from 30, 40, 50 years ago.

[697] That's right.

[698] And she says, now suspects in the coldest of cold cases so close to making it to the finish line without punishment are being punished or being pushed into courtrooms in their wheel.

[699] chairs.

[700] Yeah, that's right.

[701] That's so prophetic.

[702] It's fucking nuts.

[703] That's crazy.

[704] I know.

[705] When I found it, I got fucking goosebumps.

[706] So Edward Wayne Edwards died on April 7, 2011, just a few weeks into his life sentence in Wisconsin.

[707] Yeah, he never said whether he did or didn't kill Larry Payton and Beverly Allen and Montemontema.

[708] Montemont.

[709] Thank you.

[710] The county decided not to reopen the investigation after he was caught.

[711] And so we're not totally sure who the killer is, but a lot of people think it's Edward Wayne Edwards.

[712] And that's the murder of Larry Payton and Beverly Allen.

[713] Wow.

[714] That was great.

[715] Thank you.

[716] Tonight I'm going to present to you the very bizarre story of Edmund Creffield and the Bride of Christ Cult.

[717] Ooh.

[718] Yeah.

[719] this is a story that takes place the most part for the most part it takes place in Corvallis Oregon so it's just yeah booking home of because it's University of Oregon versus Oregon State oh of course Oregon State the fighting hold on she's going to answer well now I know it's beavers I know I was going to going to say the fighting fightertons yeah and then of course university of organ who are the uh dutch yep the fighting dutch great the fighting dutch versus the fighting firetons every year it is vicious there are colors there are lines drawn families separated brother against brother who will win the dutch or the fireton i said fight the fighting fightingtones the fighting Fighty, Fighter Tens.

[720] But Fire Tens is good, too.

[721] They don't care.

[722] They don't care.

[723] They don't care.

[724] They don't care.

[725] It's because they're fighting so hard.

[726] They don't give a single shit.

[727] That's all that fighting.

[728] Guys, don't fight with each other over sports.

[729] Fighting.

[730] Fight with each other over turf.

[731] It's cooler.

[732] And rings.

[733] And rings.

[734] I got most of the information that I'm about to read to you from an article written by someone named Finn J .D. John.

[735] So that's a name, some initials, and then another name.

[736] It's not a real person clearly.

[737] No. But thank you so much.

[738] It doesn't work.

[739] Good try.

[740] It was like an alien was like, how do humans name themselves?

[741] Ph .D. at the end.

[742] Okay.

[743] Good job.

[744] He wrote it for offbeatorgon .com, your favorite website.

[745] Oh, sure.

[746] They love it.

[747] And, of course, I used the fuck out of Wikipedia.

[748] Because there's nothing I love more than go into a document when I cut and paste a big chunk of text and then just deleting commas.

[749] I'm not kidding.

[750] I think I might make a video just talking about commas and how all you need to do is say it aloud in your head and if you pause you can stick one there.

[751] Like she just paused?

[752] If you pause you stick one right in there.

[753] But if there's no pausing comma take your finger off that fucking comma button.

[754] Period.

[755] Period.

[756] We're going to period that one.

[757] Okay.

[758] That's my new...

[759] And close your window on a plane.

[760] Aggressive grammar tips from Karen.

[761] Franz Edmund Crefield was born somewhere in Germany in 1870.

[762] It's unclear how.

[763] I'm just starting with a lot of question marks.

[764] But Edmund is what he went by.

[765] And he first appears in Portland in 1903.

[766] He's in his 30s.

[767] So he does what we all do.

[768] do when we're in our 30s.

[769] We join the Salvation Army.

[770] And he actually, he gets sent on a mission to Corvallis to fucking fix it.

[771] Dun, dun, dun, dun, on a mission, da -da -da -da -da -da.

[772] Here's the thing.

[773] Soon after, he decides to break with the Salvation Army because they're not holy enough.

[774] Those people fucking love the Bible I don't know what this person was talking about so he decides to form his own church which he calls the brides of Christ the fighting brides of Christ Of course he wants a bunch of brides God holy shit they look like fun here's the thing about Christ I want to marry him and be his bride but they yeah I see the name Esther I see the name Esther I see the name May You can I see the name Maude I'm not kidding you Get in there Fucking names Abound Esther again Did I say Esther again Una There's an Una There's an Edna Jesus This is old timey Is Methusala up there All the best old -fashioned names Okay We can leave that up there Just so you understand What's happening Just so you get creep the fuck They're all ghosts.

[775] What you can't see is that none of them have eyes.

[776] Oh, no, no, wait.

[777] They have eyes.

[778] Oh, they do.

[779] Okay, I just don't have my glasses on.

[780] So the Brides of Christ, so his church, since the Salvation Army wasn't holy enough for him, his church, they're going to get strict.

[781] That's what this guy's all about.

[782] Great.

[783] So the Brides of Christ are made to pray face down on the floor.

[784] They're planking?

[785] Yep.

[786] their abs were rock hard oh yeah shavasana christ is like i don't know who to pick you're all so fit um but then as the service progresses and his services were super long he was really loud he was like crazy screamer great and as he preached they would go from praying face down on the for two rolling around on the floor like writhing around for the Lord um he loves that yes that's his favorite he loves it move burning bushes yeah rolling on the floor he really was like I'm into breakdancing but they didn't know what it was yet yeah he was like it's just a feeling I have it feels good you know you got to use a piece of cardboard on the ground or you're gonna hurt yourself they're like no no that idea's crazy hold it till the 80s late 70s.

[787] But this is where we get the term holy roller.

[788] What?

[789] Yeah.

[790] That's rad.

[791] I'm not kidding.

[792] I love one of these calls.

[793] I fucking swear to God.

[794] How come I was the only person who got excited about that?

[795] They're all like, oh, we got taught that in third grade.

[796] This is Oregon.

[797] What's that called?

[798] The thing of the terms.

[799] Etymology?

[800] I love that.

[801] So much.

[802] Where things come from.

[803] Well, then fucking drink it in.

[804] Should we take a pause?

[805] I'm always like, where did I come from?

[806] Where did the term Holy Rollers come from?

[807] Whole nine yards.

[808] What's that all about?

[809] You know?

[810] These are the mysteries of the universe.

[811] First of all, you came from your parents.

[812] I think I had too much protein today.

[813] Were you just like chowing down on cheese?

[814] Lots of meat.

[815] Okay.

[816] Okay, so Holy Roller's right.

[817] No, no, it's fine.

[818] This is what we're here for.

[819] These church services are loud, intense, and disruptive to the neighbor.

[820] It's full of wailing and the gnashing of teeth, which that could definitely be, that was definitely ripped straight out of Finn, J .D. John's writing.

[821] So he might have just been exaggerating, although I love the idea.

[822] Especially if you're gnashing your teeth facing the ground.

[823] How many fucking raisins would you end up eating men?

[824] Pick up a little dirt.

[825] Okay, so, and they would last for hours and hours.

[826] And finally, when the church services started running into the early morning, the neighbors were like, get the fuck out of here.

[827] And back then, it's not like they're like next, like they shared walls.

[828] No, no, no. This is like a guy lived fucking eight miles away and he was like, shut the fuck up.

[829] All of my livestock is awake now.

[830] What are you doing?

[831] God doesn't like you more.

[832] That's what I would have said.

[833] From my field, that's what I was shouted over the barbed wire, the handmade barbed wire.

[834] So, eventually Creffield is barred from holding his services within the city limits of Corvallis.

[835] Okay.

[836] So, they get around it, though, because one of the devotees, one of the brides, one of those gorgeous ladies up there, the one named Sarah Hart, sorry, invites the flock to move into her house.

[837] It's just outside of town with her and her three children, Maud, Frank, and May. So they end up burning...

[838] What?

[839] Yes.

[840] This is so fucking weird.

[841] They move in, and then they end up burning everything that was in the house.

[842] So I'm sure...

[843] A purpose?

[844] Yeah, yeah.

[845] They're like, no more...

[846] You don't get any earthly possessions.

[847] Goodbye, couch.

[848] Yeah.

[849] They burned everything including...

[850] That's a beautiful vintage furniture.

[851] Yes.

[852] Furniture.

[853] RIP.

[854] It says utensils, which I was like, did they carve forks out of wood?

[855] How did your utensils burn?

[856] Airlooms and family pets.

[857] Yep.

[858] These dogs like, leave me the fuck out of this.

[859] Not only did they burn everything.

[860] They're living in a big, empty house, all the people.

[861] They bar the windows.

[862] And then eventually he starts saying, you're not allowed to talk to any outsiders.

[863] He does the classic cult thing of, if they're not in this sect, then when they can't be trusted, he calls them infidels.

[864] And what ends up happening is because he's so strict and he has all these rules and he makes every, he like starts controlling what they can wear and all this stuff, they, when they started out, it was like, you know, 20 families or whatever that were in this church.

[865] But slowly but surely, all the husbands are like, yeah, I'm not fucking going to that church anymore.

[866] That guy's not the boss of me. You know how men are.

[867] So slowly but surely, the men are just like, yeah, you can go to that thing by yourself.

[868] so the wives stay in the cult the men are out and then Edmund starts saying well if your husband's not in the church you have to stop talking to him and you have to stop fucking him and basically you have to stop being his wife and the wife's like great oh no that total if only God didn't want this I guess I'll stay here in Burnship with my friends sorry Herbert so and they're like by the way keep the dog keep the dog keep the dog leave that fucking dog along.

[869] So then, so the, so now we get to the clothing.

[870] He basically is like everything, because it's strict and it's religious and everything has to be very plain and simple and he, no, you know, it's the turn of the century, so he's like no petticoats, no aprons, no extras.

[871] Great.

[872] And then, right?

[873] Well, eventually the women start wearing basically a plain cloth robe.

[874] That's creepy.

[875] Which is horrifying.

[876] I went to fucking bliss spas, no brag the other day.

[877] in Los Angeles to get a massage and I put that robe on and it was just like a little small and I felt like I was walking around nude it was one of the most embarrassing so like just to walk around in a robe or can we roll around more likely to roll around where your robe can go hither and yawn no zip it up get some buttons on there you're a kaff tan girl I fucking hear you I'm turtleneck unitarred girl That's my jam So Essentially the neighbors can see That there are women It's you know 1905 or whatever And they're fucking walking around these fields In like just kind of a loose robe And people are like what the fuck is going on over there I see ankles I see ankles Oh my God look at those ankles There's people lined up to stare at ankles But of course the robes are inadequate to protect female modesty and of course very easy to take off so the whole town is of course just gossiping their asses off they're just like who are those people how much do they fuck let's talk about the fucking I love fucking but I can't talk about it because it's 1903 so let's talk about them fucking they gotta leave their husbands what what this is awesome and they're all it doesn't help that they're all it's two men and then like 20 women living in a house together.

[878] So, of course, everyone's, it's gossip.

[879] Everyone's, the period sink.

[880] It's crazy.

[881] It's one big red tent.

[882] So, I said that already.

[883] And now they're out of sight.

[884] They can't talk to their loved ones.

[885] And now this is when Edmund starts saying that God is talking directly to him and telling him things.

[886] Keep your eye out for that one always.

[887] Just in and around your life.

[888] Somebody like hips you to the fact that God is speaking to them.

[889] You just fucking nope right out of there.

[890] That's your right.

[891] And also the locals are like, if you all live in, quote, live in the same locked house with a number of young girls and you do nothing, like how could you do nothing in the world but be religious?

[892] That's impossible.

[893] So in January of 1904, 20 vigilantes called, the white caps, seized Crestfield.

[894] Vigilantes are never.

[895] Well, you know what they're about?

[896] What?

[897] In Corvallis in 1904.

[898] They take him down to the river and tar and feather him.

[899] Oh.

[900] What did he do?

[901] Yeah.

[902] What did he do?

[903] No, but did he kill?

[904] No. Yeah.

[905] That sucks.

[906] I'm on the white cap side.

[907] I think this guy's a crepe.

[908] That's not.

[909] Let's not fight, like, the fighting firetins.

[910] They tell him to leave town and never come back.

[911] And he responds by appearing the very next day at the courthouse.

[912] Ow, stop tarring and feathering me. Ow, this hurts.

[913] It's really hot.

[914] Yeah.

[915] Okay.

[916] The next day, he shows up at the courthouse in Lynn County.

[917] His skin is bright red from scrubbing.

[918] He reeks of turpentine, which is the only way to get that shit off.

[919] Shit.

[920] And he is there to marry one of his followers.

[921] Maude, who's the daughter of Mrs. Hurt, the house that they live in.

[922] And she is the, that family is very highly respected Corvallis pioneers.

[923] Which is a great idea.

[924] So basically he's trying to legitimize himself and maybe keep from having that ever happened to him again.

[925] So in February of 1904 the next month, he is accused of having adulterable.

[926] relations in Portland with Maude's aunt.

[927] The girl he marries she has an aunt named Donna.

[928] In 1904 someone's named Donna, which is the best, either a humongous mistake or the best thing that's ever happened.

[929] Yeah, like they spelled the real name wrong.

[930] Or what if there's just a lady with like super tight bell -bottom jeans that's like in 1904 Corvallis?

[931] She's having a glass of Shibbley.

[932] She's just like, what's up, I'm Donna?

[933] She's chewing gum and drinking wine at the same time.

[934] Smoking a fucking Virginia Slim.

[935] Yeah.

[936] Donna.

[937] She's like, I painted my own nails, and I'm here to party.

[938] It's me, Donna.

[939] Time travel is real.

[940] Yes.

[941] I'm here to prove it.

[942] So because back then adultery was a criminal offense, a warrant is put out for Edmund's arrest, but he, of course, is nowhere to be found.

[943] A statewide manhunt goes on for months, and meanwhile, the Holy Rollers are fasting, and they're spending all their days laying flat and praying for it.

[944] Oh, my God.

[945] He's not there.

[946] He won't know.

[947] You can tell him you prayed for him.

[948] He won't know.

[949] Also, there's a roller derby team called the Holy Rollers.

[950] And I can't stop thinking about them instead.

[951] They're all actually direct descendants of these people.

[952] They're great at skating.

[953] So in June, most of the Brides of Christ end up getting committed to an insane asylum.

[954] Oh.

[955] Yep.

[956] So then, guess what happens?

[957] Tell me what happened to that.

[958] In July, Creffield is discovered nude and starving underneath the house that they all lived in.

[959] What?

[960] Yes.

[961] So the whole time he had just been under there, he was like, I've got the perfect hiding place, and now I'm going to strip down to my nothings.

[962] I just need to wait for my ladies upstairs to hand me food.

[963] And then, but he doesn't know they're all gone.

[964] Oh, he's just like waiting.

[965] They've all been carted away.

[966] Then he would have known if they weren't praying for him.

[967] Ooh, good one, Edmund.

[968] Okay.

[969] His trial begins in fall of 1904.

[970] He claims that he's innocent, and he tells the court that having sex with Donna was part of that God -ordered purification ritual that he convinced his followers was real.

[971] So he basically, because he was getting messages from God, of course, you know the next step is he's going to claim that he is God.

[972] just spoiler alert and he said Colt spoiler alert right it's the same every time like a horror movie so he convinces everybody that you have to be purified by him the one closest to God and of course the way you purify people you fuck them so that holy dick we know that that God give and D talking about what is this there are children here no god that'd be horrifying um when he gets out wait here he uh he they send him he's found guilty of course immediately and uh he serves 17 months in the oregon state penitentiary let's hear it for no um parole when he gets released a year and a half later he claims he is jesus christ risen from the dead wow that was a quick turnaround yeah and then his resurrection is his emergence from prison right it's all so symbolic i feel like that's been tried before yeah and it probably doesn't work people are like you're just not that jesusy to me um he also claims this is a good one that he was responsible for the 1906 san francisco earthquake that was him what a dick he did it you know he had to he was forced and all of his followers who have since been released from the asylum and have come back, they all believe him, of course.

[973] And then the groomers, of course, are now, it's crazy because now they're back and they're getting their act back together and everyone's going nuts.

[974] And so the rumors are, some of the rumors are, mothers in the sect are being debauched in front of their daughters.

[975] So it's like group sex rumors essentially, but they took a really long time to say it in 1903.

[976] There are rumors of child sacrifice, which were not true and were not in any way proven, but of course, fun thing to gossip about.

[977] The one that caught hold was that because he admitted to that God sanctified purification right of fucking everybody, then this weird rumor started that he believed that Jesus was coming back and one of the brides of Christ was going to be Mary.

[978] And so he had to choose who Mary was by the laying on of hands.

[979] which bit you know boss I bet right laying on of hands um so they they also began to say that the new mary was a girl a 16 year old girl named Esther Mitchell who was in the group but so it's basically like the town is just creating these fictions because this crazy shit is happening right outside of town oh here's him this is um Edmund crefield after he got out of jail for adult to I'm excited Look at us Oh my girl Well He looks just like Jesus Christ He is the spitting image of Jesus Christ Look at his His face is like He's saying Can you fucking believe I'm getting away with this?

[980] He's like Come here, girl Let me purify you Oh Yeah I mean the stink waves That must have been coming off this fucking fella Jeez he didn't realize pictures were permanent he didn't he's like i'm going to be pouting in mine because i'm mad i went to jail oh my god william defoe will play him in the phone oh totally right okay what's that what's going on they have front dandruff that's horrifying how do you cure that okay the laying on of hands Among the devotee brides of Christ are a woman named Cora Hartley and her daughter, Sophia.

[981] And so Cora's husband, Lewis, or Louis, I am not sure.

[982] He's a wealthy mine owner, okay?

[983] And they had all joined the church together.

[984] Lewis immediately was like, thank you, but no thank you.

[985] And then his daughter and wife stayed in and then stopped talking to him.

[986] And we're like, you're bad and you're an infidel.

[987] but when Creffield went to jail they just went back to the house and they were just like well we're not talking to you but we're stewards so going to live here of course all of the men whose wife stayed in this cult were you know very shamed publicly cuckolded once all this rumors started of like this one guy's fucking all these people they're you know the horror and the scandal was was a lot when she gets home she tells Lewis or Louis her husband Edmund Creffield is Jesus Christ When she does decide to talk to him He condemned the city of San Francisco And brought the earthquake And he has condemned the city of Corvallis And an earthquake will destroy this place Great So did you see I put in a toilet It's an in -house I only want to talk about the earthquake It's like an outhouse but in the house He will destroy you Great Where is my robe Yeah Cora went nuts Okay you like him We get it.

[988] So Creffield now calls his flock back.

[989] He's like, I'm out of jail, and now you need to follow me into the wilderness, which was Newport.

[990] Back, I guess back then it was nuts abandoned or something.

[991] So they, Cora and Sophia immediately pack their bags, and they're just like, thank God.

[992] They pack their one rogues in their bag.

[993] they have a huge bag single very see -through rope goes inside of it small Bible toothbrush cardboard but Lewis is watching cardboard for break dancing um exactly Lewis is watching them and he's just like yeah this isn't happening so he basically follows them and he brings a gun and so just as Edmund Creffield and his a flock of holy rollers are boarding the ferry Lewis Hartley walks up and he fires a revolver four times at Creffield.

[994] Creffield is not killed he's not shot.

[995] What happens is Lewis fucked up and he used center fire cartridges for a rim fire gun.

[996] Can you believe that dumb ass fucking when people do that dummy?

[997] Just like watch your cartridges.

[998] So, but what would be more convincing if you were in a cult and the guy that's like, I'm God and Jesus and you have to fuck me. And then someone's like, and he's like, anyway, let's get on this ferry.

[999] We have got to get to that wilderness ASAP.

[1000] You would double down on that deed.

[1001] Yes.

[1002] You would just be like, purify me tonight, Edmond.

[1003] Ew.

[1004] No, I take it back.

[1005] Ew, he's gross.

[1006] I don't know about these live shows.

[1007] They seem a little crazy.

[1008] Okay.

[1009] So, angry husbands and fathers are on the way to kill this man. They all had it.

[1010] So it's, this is, he knows this, Edmund knows this isn't going to be the only one.

[1011] So he takes his wife Maude and they flee to Seattle.

[1012] So, I mean, okay.

[1013] Save it for tomorrow night.

[1014] So the, one of the other people that was super pissed off, and had a gun that he knew how to use was a guy named George Mitchell.

[1015] And he was the brother of 16 -year -old Esther Mitchell, who everybody was talking about and saying she was the Virgin Mary and that she had been, you know, purified by Creepo.

[1016] And so George Mitchell actually followed Edmund to Seattle, walked up behind him in front of witnesses, and shot him twice in the back of the head and killed him.

[1017] Oh, my God.

[1018] Wow.

[1019] Some bloodthirsty motherfuckers up here.

[1020] The murder attracted natural attention and was major news in the Pacific Northwest for weeks, and there was widespread sympathy for George Mitchell, the murderer.

[1021] George claimed that the law wouldn't keep Creffield away from his sister, so he had to do it himself.

[1022] And that defense worked.

[1023] The jury finds Mitchell not guilty, in spite of the fact that he, had admitted an open court that he had, in fact, murdered at Edmund Crafield.

[1024] He was like, guilty, and they were like, not guilty.

[1025] No, you're not, buddy.

[1026] No, you're not.

[1027] You keep it up.

[1028] You old, so -and -so.

[1029] You, bro.

[1030] But wait, I wrote that down.

[1031] Two days later, Esther Mitchell asks her brother George, what he's free.

[1032] She's like, can we please meet at a railroad depot?

[1033] You know how brothers and sisters do um for what family members hoped was going to be a reconciliation um but instead esther walked up and shoots her brother twice in the back of the head just like her brother had shot edmund crefield shut up i won't and the gun she used to do that was bought by crefield's wife maud holy shit and before the case even goes to trial maud takes a massive amount of strychnine and kills herself Oh, my God.

[1034] So she's out.

[1035] Wow.

[1036] Just don't bring her up again.

[1037] We're not talking about her anymore.

[1038] Goodbye.

[1039] Esther's brought to trial, and she's found not guilty by reason of insanity, and she's committed to Western State Hospital in Stealakum, Washington.

[1040] Stella, Coom, I said.

[1041] The press tries to get Esther to tell them that she killed her brother because God told her to.

[1042] Just tell us that God.

[1043] It's funny.

[1044] It's interesting.

[1045] We won't quote you.

[1046] But instead, she tells them she did exactly what her brother did.

[1047] The law did nothing about her brother killing Edmund Creffield, so she had to kill him herself.

[1048] And then she pointed out that George had done exactly what he'd accused Creffield of doing.

[1049] He'd branded her a fornicator because she said she'd never had sex with Creffield.

[1050] And by making the statement that he killed Creffield because Creffield had ruined his sister, George had in effect ruined his sister.

[1051] Esther is released from the asylum in 1909 and a few days later she takes a massive dose of strict nine and fucking kills herself and that is the end of the Brides of Christ Holy Rollers Edmund Crafield cults the end mayhem, death and mayhem that was a fucking roller coaster that was a raisin in your pocket wasn't it?

[1052] Great job, that was amazing.

[1053] Thank you.

[1054] Do we have time for her?

[1055] hometown.

[1056] You know we do.

[1057] We have to.

[1058] Ladies and gentlemen, it's Vince Averill right there.

[1059] Oh, he brought her a sandwich.

[1060] He brought me some protein.

[1061] So nice of you.

[1062] Also, then, show them what you're wearing.

[1063] Oh, no, you didn't wear.

[1064] I thought he's going to wear a ring out.

[1065] Oh, I forgot the prom.

[1066] All right.

[1067] We have some rules to wear the hometown that you've heard a million times, but somehow ignore them.

[1068] It's good to update.

[1069] So, here's the thing about the hometown.

[1070] God, this theater is so gorgeous.

[1071] It's crazy.

[1072] It's so beautiful.

[1073] Look at the like a cantaloupe ceiling.

[1074] Yes.

[1075] It's really beautiful.

[1076] That's right.

[1077] Uh -huh.

[1078] Listeners at home, we promise.

[1079] We're in a huge can't catelope right now.

[1080] Inside I can't.

[1081] Georgia and the giant canalote.

[1082] It is the most vegan show we've ever done.

[1083] So if you get picked to tell your hometown, it has to be, we really need it to be from Oregon.

[1084] It's what everybody wants.

[1085] If it can be from Portland, that's cool, too.

[1086] Please do not come up here and tell us shit from Chicago.

[1087] We don't care tonight.

[1088] We care a different time.

[1089] If you're like, I'm from here, but my murder happens, and then I move there.

[1090] Then we both kill you with our eyes.

[1091] Let's see.

[1092] What else?

[1093] If you're drunk, make sure you can tell a story drunk and not like, oh, my God, this is crazy drunk.

[1094] And shouting out to people that no one cares about and all that kind of stuff.

[1095] stay on point beginning middle end make it quick because everyone hates you for getting picked and now georgia will choose the hometown for tonight okay okay oh this is so hard and scary just go with your gut okay feel feel feelings yeah yeah yes come on up here go over there go that away she's been chosen the hometown has been chosen let's all look at my rings while she's on her way up here can we get the lights turned down so she doesn't have panic attack.

[1096] Oh, yeah.

[1097] Cassidy jewelry.

[1098] It's called Cassidy Vintage Jewelry.

[1099] She'll be walking out of here tonight with a bag of jewelry, so just grab them if you want.

[1100] No. Carrie.

[1101] Come on.

[1102] Get wrong.

[1103] Okay, great.

[1104] Hi.

[1105] She said I'm a mom.

[1106] What?

[1107] We're not going to be nice to you because you're a mom.

[1108] I'm a mom.

[1109] It's terrifying.

[1110] Isn't it horrible?

[1111] There's a raisin in this for you.

[1112] Yes, you might earn a raisin.

[1113] So I'm shaking.

[1114] So I work for a local children's hospital here in Portland.

[1115] Amazing.

[1116] Been there 37 years.

[1117] How many?

[1118] 37.

[1119] 37 years?

[1120] I'm your oldest hometown birder right back.

[1121] Back in 2007, our security guard, Sharp.

[1122] we both worked their early shift.

[1123] I worked in medical records.

[1124] And Shar had a son.

[1125] I'm shaking.

[1126] I am too.

[1127] Michael.

[1128] Michael was 36 and he had this girlfriend named Jocelyn.

[1129] She kind of was stalking him.

[1130] And so he finally broke up with her and got a restraining order against her.

[1131] Well, we're at work one day.

[1132] And on the news is a story about her.

[1133] murder in, sorry, southeast Portland, and Shar's watching the news.

[1134] It's her house.

[1135] Oh, fuck.

[1136] And Jacqueline, two weeks before, had convinced some poor girl to call Michael to tell him that she had committed suicide.

[1137] Well, she hadn't.

[1138] She was crazy.

[1139] So, we believe you.

[1140] Some months before that, she had actually stolen his house keys, had gotten in there.

[1141] And I said, Sharant, you're kind of, like, worried.

[1142] She goes, and now she's fine.

[1143] Anyway, so Sharra sees the thing on TV and it's going, oh, my God, that's my house.

[1144] Jacqueline was outside, and Michael had no clue, thought she was dead.

[1145] Michael comes out to go to work, and she murders him in front of his house out on southeast Boise Street.

[1146] Anybody who knows Portland, and Sharr's watching this on TV.

[1147] Oh, my God.

[1148] Well, the police knew that Michael lived with his mother, but they thought she was some old lady upstairs.

[1149] She wasn't.

[1150] She was our badass security guard at the Children's Hospital.

[1151] Amazing.

[1152] So the police get there.

[1153] Jacqueline takes off in her car.

[1154] She's like 30 years old.

[1155] She takes off on speeds of 100 miles an hour to central Oregon to bend.

[1156] And, yeah, yeah, Ben.

[1157] They finally catch up with her.

[1158] She shoots herself in the head, ends up in the Bend Hospital, and she dies.

[1159] So she didn't go to jail for this.

[1160] Well, come to find out, she had had over 80 restraining orders filed against her.

[1161] So they, I don't know if it ever got put into effect that when restraining orders are filed for those things, that the person filing the restraining order is supposed to know about them.

[1162] Because if Michael had known, he would have gone into hiding.

[1163] She was absolutely crazy.

[1164] most heartbreaking thing though for sure to watch that on the news at work and realize oh my god that's my son so that's horrifying that's my hometown murder amazing oh my god Jesus you guys gave it up for Marianne that was the best wait a second with that that's for you I got the raisin yeah you earn that you earn that That's for you.

[1165] I'll keep it forever.

[1166] She gets the raisin.

[1167] Thank you so much.

[1168] Great job.

[1169] Holy shit.

[1170] Good pick.

[1171] Thank you.

[1172] Now I have to eat the whole sandwich.

[1173] That's what we're looking for.

[1174] That's what we're looking for.

[1175] Come on.

[1176] Beautiful.

[1177] Amazing.

[1178] Man, we need to bring a raisin every show.

[1179] The magic.

[1180] raises.

[1181] Ups the fucking ante a little bit.

[1182] It makes people really perform.

[1183] Oh my God.

[1184] Two magical nights with you guys.

[1185] This has been, honestly.

[1186] We love it here so much.

[1187] You guys, specifically Portland has, you guys have been so supportive of us since the fucking beginning.

[1188] We could just do shows here forever.

[1189] Truly.

[1190] We love it here.

[1191] You also, I like it because I see, I, it's, I have observed that it seems.

[1192] like you guys are the ones that get the angriest when you don't get tickets and I like that too that's just as good as getting tickets is just rage total rage at us on Twitter as if we fucking control it but here's the thing you guys have been there from the beginning like that's when they very first were planned these tours they were just like our tour engines just they do it all by numbers and by like listening numbers and breaking it down math I don't know they're all up in your computer but they're just like, well, you have to go to Portland.

[1193] And then we had to do three shows the first time, and then we had to do two for they had to add a show to this.

[1194] It's amazing.

[1195] So thank you guys so much for supporting us.

[1196] Also, I fucking love it here.

[1197] We talked about it a lot, but Portland, one of those first Portland shows was the legendary one where everyone got so fucked up because they were doing a drink special of tall boy beers.

[1198] Nick Miniman's.

[1199] And that girl threw up and then crawled up the aisle to the bathroom.

[1200] So you guys have a special place in our hearts for that.

[1201] I mean, I'll never stop loving you because of that.

[1202] Truly.

[1203] But truly, this is all you guys and you guys supporting each other and coming together and you know, making friends and making these groups and just being the fucking best.

[1204] Thank you so much.

[1205] We were really, really grateful for everything you guys do for us.

[1206] It's very fun.

[1207] We're having the time of our lives.

[1208] We really are.

[1209] It's the weirdest fucking experience.

[1210] but it is the best and it's because you guys and your support so thank you so much and stay sexy and by you guys thank you Portland thank you