Flightless Bird: Feijoas

[0] Perfect.

[1] All right.

[2] Numbers are moving.

[3] I assume it's recording.

[4] Oh yeah, it is recording.

[5] Okay.

[6] Okay.

[7] Now, I'm going to try something different, Monica, because my pre -recorded intro, I didn't think it was any good.

[8] Oh, my God.

[9] So I'm going to do a live read of the introduction.

[10] Very exciting.

[11] You second guest?

[12] I second guest.

[13] Yeah, I just read it and I didn't like it.

[14] Okay.

[15] And so while I was waiting for you guys to finish synced before, I just rewrote it.

[16] Oh, wow.

[17] Just now.

[18] Hot off the presses.

[19] So it's not, it's still not.

[20] not great, but you let me know if it holds up.

[21] Great.

[22] And if it holds up, let's just put this in the episode.

[23] I love it.

[24] Okay, I'm going to close my eyes.

[25] I'm going to close my a lot of pressure.

[26] Okay.

[27] I'm David, we've heard this before.

[28] I'm David Farrier.

[29] In New Zealand are accidentally marooned in America.

[30] And I want to figure out what makes this country tick.

[31] I crossed out a whole lot of things and the new one begins.

[32] As I explained in an earlier episode, I had to come back to New Zealand late last year because of my three -year work visa running out.

[33] Now to get a new American work visa, I had to fill in a lot of forms and pay a lot of money to some lawyers.

[34] The final piece of the puzzle was that I had to leave America and attend an interview at a US embassy somewhere abroad.

[35] America, being the helpful country that it is, wouldn't let me take a road trip to Canada or one down to Mexico.

[36] To prove my dedication to America, I'd have to fly away from America to an embassy that wasn't in a country or a place nestled up against the American border.

[37] So I decided I was going to make a big trip on a plane.

[38] So I might as well fly all the way back to my country of origin, New Zealand.

[39] How are we going so far?

[40] Pretty good.

[41] Pretty good?

[42] Yeah.

[43] I'm just trying to set up while I was in New Zealand.

[44] Because I think it is kind of funny that I can't just go to Canada to like go to an embassy.

[45] I've got to like America makes you really leave.

[46] Yeah, that's true.

[47] That's true.

[48] They put you through your paces.

[49] They do.

[50] Right.

[51] So we're back to New Zealand.

[52] I was there waiting for my new visa to be issued for a business.

[53] about a month.

[54] So I decided I should record a few episodes of flightless bird about being stuck in New Zealand.

[55] And this is a line I feel really excited about.

[56] Are you ready?

[57] Yeah.

[58] So welcome to a New Zealand episode of flightless bird, which saw this flightless bird grounded in the land of flightless birds.

[59] Get it?

[60] Because I'm the flightless bird usually in America because I can't leave America, but now I'm in New Zealand, which is where all the flightless birds...

[61] Look, you should have seen the old one.

[62] It was worse.

[63] All right, theme song.

[64] Flydless.

[65] Flyless bird touchdown in America.

[66] I'm a flightless bird touchdown in America.

[67] Hi, Monica.

[68] I'm back in America.

[69] You're back in America.

[70] How's everything going?

[71] Everything's good.

[72] But I wanted to address something.

[73] Oh, this doesn't bode well.

[74] No, this is not a problem.

[75] Okay.

[76] For you.

[77] That's where I go straight away.

[78] Problem.

[79] I know.

[80] Panic.

[81] So you went.

[82] back to Freer Visa.

[83] I did.

[84] I currently am trying to get a travel visa.

[85] Oh, incredible.

[86] And it is so complicated.

[87] What part of the world are you going to?

[88] The subcontinent.

[89] Okay.

[90] I had to ask my mom and dad so many questions today that I didn't know the answers.

[91] About your parents' date of birth and stuff like that?

[92] I know there are dates of birth.

[93] I know.

[94] That's always a mystery to me. I know.

[95] I always do have to do math to figure it out.

[96] But the exact cities they were born, another important question was have I ever been there before, which I have.

[97] And when I went, what were the addresses of the places I stayed and the cities, all the cities I visited, and the visa number from then.

[98] And it was 1992.

[99] We don't have any of that information.

[100] It doesn't exist.

[101] Yes.

[102] Did you do it on the fly?

[103] Did you wing a few things?

[104] Or did you just get as close as possible?

[105] I just labeled the cities and I said no visa number.

[106] I mean, yeah, it's, it's, it's, it's, It's the deepest dive into your own life you can ever have.

[107] But who's going to keep that information?

[108] And who's also, I'm wondering how closely they check.

[109] Because with the American visa, it wants to know my last five or ten trips in and out, dates and everything.

[110] And I'm like, I don't have that.

[111] And so you're trawling through emails for different flights you've taken in arrival times in my terribly organized diary.

[112] Oh, the interesting thing about America is they want to know all your social media.

[113] media handles?

[114] No. Which is, and I just picture this if anyone is actually doing some kind of a search on there to see if you're saying disparaging things about America.

[115] Are they looking at your political leanings?

[116] Are they making sure that you're not...

[117] A terrorist or something?

[118] Yes, I'm listing like Instagram, Facebook, Twitter.

[119] I've got a TikTok I never use.

[120] And I'm just wondering, is any poor person in the immigration department having to go through my social media and like read whatever...

[121] Oh my God.

[122] And what's the red flag?

[123] When do they send me off to another department to go?

[124] We're not sure about this David guy.

[125] Yes.

[126] Oh, this is so fascinating.

[127] Do they listen to flightless bird episodes and see how American I am?

[128] Does that factor in?

[129] Or is it all just to make you a bit on edge and make you sort of go, do I really want to do this?

[130] Oh, this is a great question.

[131] I wish we could talk to someone who works in that department.

[132] So I want to do an episode about immigration because there's an interesting thing where I met a few people in New Zealand who are American.

[133] Americans who moved there to New Zealand.

[134] They were just like, I want to try something different.

[135] And then a few of them have renounced their U .S. citizenship.

[136] You know how we've talked about the ceremony of me becoming a citizen one day?

[137] The whole thing about getting rid of your citizenship, it's such a highly charged, really full -on moment.

[138] And I was talking to someone in New Zealand who had done this.

[139] And they just talked about what they weren't expecting.

[140] They were really upset at the ceremony because everything you were sort of drawing.

[141] drilled into as an American is what a privilege this is.

[142] And so they realized giving it up, it triggered something like deep inside.

[143] They were just doing it for like a practical reason.

[144] Like they live in New Zealand now.

[145] They're not coming back to America.

[146] All the rest of it.

[147] But they had this really emotional response.

[148] I don't think I could do it, which feels crazy.

[149] And no, for the same reason that I talk about how difficult it would be for me to give up New Zealand citizenship and like pledge to another country.

[150] There is this thing about wherever you're brought up, you end up feeling this deep loyalty to the place.

[151] But more than loyalty, there's, is a gratitude for the place, I think, that is underneath all of it.

[152] And then it feels like cheating.

[153] It feels like you cheated on your monogamous partner.

[154] Yeah.

[155] And it's the place that made you you, right?

[156] So you're like, this defines me. And now I'm just turning my back to this place.

[157] And so, yeah, after some of these conversations I've had, I just thought this could be an interesting question.

[158] And as well, of people immigrating to America and becoming citizens.

[159] And then I like the idea of the reverse thing.

[160] Another interesting thing about America, is that once you become a citizen, so I'm on a visa, right?

[161] Yeah.

[162] Next step would be a green card.

[163] Right.

[164] Next step would be citizenship.

[165] Yeah.

[166] I left and went back to New Zealand.

[167] For the rest of my life, I would be filing taxes in America.

[168] And there's only two countries that do that.

[169] I can't remember the name of the other country.

[170] Basically, say I go back to New Zealand and get a job in New Zealand.

[171] Nothing to do with America.

[172] Because I'm an American citizen.

[173] For the rest of my life, I have to file taxes in America.

[174] on what you've earned in New Zealand.

[175] Yeah.

[176] I could never return here.

[177] I could have a huge falling out with you guys, be like, I don't want to do this podcast anymore.

[178] Oh, I hope that doesn't happen.

[179] It's not going to happen.

[180] Go back to New Zealand.

[181] And I go and work in an office in New Zealand.

[182] Okay.

[183] Have to file U .S. taxes, pay taxes to America, fund America with my taxes for the rest of my life.

[184] Wow.

[185] If you became a citizen here and then you moved back to, and then we had a big following out, you said, don't want to do this podcast anymore.

[186] And then you move back to New Zealand.

[187] Can you renounce the American citizenship?

[188] Yes, I can.

[189] But when I do that, I would not be allowed to say it's for tax reasons.

[190] That's like a no -no.

[191] So I'd have to be like, oh, no, it's nothing to do with tax.

[192] They make you say why?

[193] I want to find out.

[194] I want to talk to someone that's been through the process and see what the situation is, because I'm so, so curious.

[195] Remember we called my dad, but he didn't have much information?

[196] No, he didn't have a lot.

[197] I couldn't remember much.

[198] But also on this travel visa form, I had to fill out about them, their place of birth and their nationality and if they ever had a previous nationality.

[199] And for both of them, it's true.

[200] They're both American citizens, but were originally born in India.

[201] When do you find out whether you're given a thumbs up or a thumbs down?

[202] I'm not so sure.

[203] You're just waiting.

[204] It's all out of your hands.

[205] It's whether they deem you worthy or not to enter.

[206] We'll really be back by then, by the time this airs.

[207] And Dax is doing this too.

[208] He's doing this process too.

[209] and I kept thinking today when we were getting these questions, it's so much easier for him.

[210] Yeah.

[211] He just says, no, no, yes.

[212] There's no complications.

[213] It's just America, America.

[214] America, here I am.

[215] Imagine if you had been a bit busy and made me fill in the forms on your behalf.

[216] I'd be like, oh, she came here as a wee baby.

[217] And then she'd give you an entirely different narrative.

[218] Yeah.

[219] good you didn't.

[220] You got to fill those forms in yourself.

[221] Well, good luck.

[222] Thanks.

[223] Let's hope I get there.

[224] Do you have any questions about New Zealand?

[225] No, but I'm really excited to hear about your adventure.

[226] So I haven't even said what the topic is.

[227] Okay, let's just, I'll pay you my little documentary.

[228] It's very specific about a very specific thing.

[229] Okay.

[230] But sometimes I think we've got to be specific in this life, you know?

[231] Agreed.

[232] Sometimes you don't know what you're missing from home until you return.

[233] It all kind of floods back at once.

[234] and in New Zealand it's things like all the green you see out the plain window, the fresh air that hits you when you leave the airport, and the sight of certain trees and animals.

[235] But for me, the main thing, the main thing I'd forgotten I'd been missing this whole time, the taste and smell of my favourite fruit, the Fijoa.

[236] Oh, hi, I'm Georgia.

[237] Georgia is just one of five million New Zealanders who love the Fijoa.

[238] I understand you're a fan of the Fijua.

[239] Oh, I was about to swear.

[240] Can I say, I swear?

[241] I fucking love a Fijua.

[242] I love a Fijua so much.

[243] So much.

[244] It's just part of the culture.

[245] You walk down the street and there's a tree on the side of the road and you just huck some Fijewas in your bag.

[246] Is that word that you just said, huck?

[247] Huck.

[248] Like, throw.

[249] Huck.

[250] I don't know.

[251] It's really good.

[252] I'm a New Zealander and I haven't heard that word before.

[253] It's really good.

[254] Huck's a good word.

[255] You can put it into your vocab.

[256] What is it about the Fijoa that's so good?

[257] Because I feel like Americans, they don't.

[258] know what they're missing.

[259] It's like a soury sweet in its own package.

[260] You don't even need to like put it in anything.

[261] You can just huck it off a tree, open it, eat it.

[262] It's so good.

[263] Simply put, Fijewas are the best fruit, referred to by some New Zealanders as green gold.

[264] They're green and about the size of the egg I once cracked on Roosevelt's head.

[265] Using words to describe the taste of a Fijower is doing the fruit a disservice.

[266] To understand the Excessy of a Fijiower, you've got to use your taste buds.

[267] Some say the flavour has hints of guava or strawberry or pineapple.

[268] It has the softness of an avocado with the soft, gritty texture of a pear.

[269] In a typical year, in a typical Fijua season, how many Fijewas would you throw back?

[270] Honestly, if I can get a good access to Fijowers, I would do 20 a day in like a sitting.

[271] Because all you do is just cut them up.

[272] And then my secret hack is if you eat one half, that is delicious, I'll put the other half aside.

[273] So I can make sure I finish on a good Fijoa, because some of them will be duds.

[274] 20 a day?

[275] I would say, easily, yeah.

[276] So in your lifetime, we're talking thousands of Fijewas.

[277] Absolutely.

[278] Like many New Zealanders, George's appreciation of the Fijoa started in her youth.

[279] My neighbours, where I grew up, had a Fijua tree, and I used to go on night raids.

[280] So, like, they told us that we could come and pick VJewas off their children.

[281] tree, but I was always too embarrassed to do it during the day, so I would go on the dark of night.

[282] And then as I got older, when I met my fiancé, I would make him come with me to go on night raids to get Fijewas off the tree.

[283] So romantic.

[284] Yeah, yeah.

[285] Start of a great relationship.

[286] I mean, it was.

[287] Georgia and her fiancé now own a dog and are getting married later this year.

[288] Now, when in America, I find myself browsing the fruit aisles of countless American grocery stores desperately seeking a glimpse of my favorite green fruit.

[289] but I always fail, sinking into a deep depression.

[290] But now I'm back in New Zealand, I can embrace the Fijoa.

[291] And in this country, we're not just eating Fijewers.

[292] We're putting Fijowers in everything else.

[293] We put it in our chocolate, smoothies, ice cream, wine, champagne, and in our beer.

[294] It's become near impossible not to eat Fijoa, as they just put Fijowers in every other food and drink.

[295] And so I've driven about an hour north of Auckland City to the dreamy town of Madagana, because here they brew an award -winning Fijowa beer.

[296] This is a wild Fijua and the vintage is 2022 and it's the best beer in New Zealand currently.

[297] Just as an aside, the transcription software I use to make Flightless Bird can't understand the New Zealand accent.

[298] So when Sean said, This is a wild Fijower...

[299] The transcript read, This is a wild vagina.

[300] Anyway, I'm at the bar talking to Sean from the eight -wired brewery.

[301] The name of the brewery is a very New Zealand thing.

[302] Number 8 wire is a common type of wire farmers used for their fences here.

[303] Farming's big in New Zealand.

[304] Yeah, that includes sheep.

[305] And number 8 wire is everywhere.

[306] And because it's so versatile, it ends up being used on things besides fences.

[307] You might wind some number 8 wire around something to hold it in place.

[308] So number 8 wire came to mean problem solving.

[309] So if Dax was in New Zealand, people might look at him fixing a car and in a car and a inventive way and say, wow, look at Dax.

[310] He has a number eight wire mentality.

[311] My point is, that's what the brewery is referencing by calling itself eight wired.

[312] You say the best beer, what makes it the best beer?

[313] Has it won an award?

[314] Is this your personal opinion?

[315] One, that big trophy down the end there, that big wooden block, it won that, and that is the champion bear, which is the highest award for the bears at the Guild Awards.

[316] Sean pours me a pint of Fijewa beer, and I take a chug.

[317] And because it's a hot summer's day in New Zealand, and because this beer tastes like Fijewers, well, this drink is heaven.

[318] You basically brew a pale ale beer, then you stick it into barrels for a couple of years, and then you mix a metric ton of Fijowers, gets mixed with that, and then you sit that for about another year, and then it gets packaged up.

[319] When it's a fresh vintage, it smacks more of the Fijaws, and then the older it gets, the more of the barrel age funk comes out.

[320] So if you were to taste one of those 2014 vintages, it would be really funky from the barrel.

[321] I take my delicious beer outside because I'm not just here to drink beer, I'm here to meet someone.

[322] My name's Kate Evans.

[323] I'm a freelance journalist in New Zealand.

[324] I'm mainly for New Zealand Geographic magazine, but I also write for some American publications like Scientific American and Biographic.

[325] More importantly for this episode, Kate has also recently written a book about Fijewers.

[326] It's called Fijewers, a story of obsession and belonging.

[327] And from what I can tell it's the first in -depth book focusing on the best fruit on the planet.

[328] I wanted to learn from Kate how this fruit became so synonymous with New Zealand, as synonymous as sheep and flightless kiwi birds and number eight wires.

[329] It's my suspicion that part of the appeal of the Fijoa is that there are so many Fijoa trees everywhere here, just growing in backyards and on sidewalks.

[330] And so at the right time of the year, Fijewas are free.

[331] I grew up about 15 minutes from where we are now In a very small town of about 500 people called Lee My dad had a Fijua hedge And one big beautiful specimen Fijowa And my sisters and I would walk home from school every day And in the autumn which was Fijua season The beginning of the school year for us The ground would be covered in Fijewas And we're so good And we just get home So we'll chuck off our school bags And sit under the tree with a spoon in a knife Cut them open and then spoon them out and eat them Can you just describe this?

[332] Because if you haven't had this experience of this just Fijewa's en masse falling from the sky and you just devour them when you're a kid.

[333] What sets it apart from other fruit?

[334] Because there is something very fucking special about a Fijoa.

[335] Right.

[336] Well, one thing is the crazy abundance.

[337] There's nothing for nine months of the year and then there's just shit tons of them for two or three months and you can never keep up.

[338] They're always just goshing in the grass but the day that they first fall in, they're amazing.

[339] One of the amazing things about them is the smell.

[340] So they're very fragrant and the smell is not like any other fruit.

[341] And in the book I end up talking to scent neuroscientists talking about how things that are really strongly flavoured, especially things that we encounter when we're children, the scent centre of the brain is really close to the memory centre of the brain and smell can trigger memories in the way that few other senses can.

[342] And so when you cut open a feeder and it has that really distinct of smell and you haven't smelled it for like nine months of the year or years if you've lived overseas.

[343] You're transported back to being a kid in the best time of the year.

[344] Yeah, this kind of like beautiful, relaxing thing of being in the garden or in the sidewalks in the suburbs.

[345] Kay's done some digging into the Fijoa situation in the US and tells me that you can sometimes find them there in farmers' markets.

[346] But in America, they're called pineapple guava, which makes sense because they do sort of taste a bit like those fruits.

[347] Fijos, sorry, pineapple guavas, were brought to California in 2001 by an Italian gardener and gotten some seeds in from France.

[348] immediately caught the eye of a man in Santa Barbara.

[349] And this guy, Francesco Franceschi and Santa Barbara, was like, this is going to be the fruit of the century.

[350] And he was passionate about Fijewas and him and a couple of other guys who were kind of involved in bringing the avocado to California as well, which obviously was a lot more successful.

[351] They were really trying to promote the Fijua.

[352] For a while, things were looking good for the tiny green fruit.

[353] Back in 1914, an American newspaper proclaimed the Fijoa, a wonder fruit that will soon be one of the most popular sugar fruits in the United States.

[354] Ad said it was the most popular new fruits since the avocado.

[355] And by 1915, seeds were selling for $6 a gram, which by today's standards is about $150.

[356] Unfortunately, after a promising start, the feed you are ultimately tanked in the US.

[357] The fruit doesn't store very well and can go off quicker than an avocado.

[358] They're also really variable from seed to seed.

[359] So the quality of trees varies a lot.

[360] So you have to graft it or clone it in some way and they're not that easy to do that.

[361] Some Fijowa trees refuse to grow Fijewas at all.

[362] By the 1930s, the L .A. Times had taken to calling the Fijoa a desirable hedge plant.

[363] This description is sacrilege to a New Zealander.

[364] Kate tells me that despite the ultimate failure of the Fijoa in America, she's located a few stray trees around San Francisco and Sacramento and other bits of California.

[365] I met some crazy Fijewa fiends in Red Bluff, California, in the middle of nowhere.

[366] They would trawl the streets of Sacramento looking for street trees and them in people's gardens, and they knock on people's doors and be like, excuse me, can we clean up the mess for you?

[367] And then they come and get all the Fijaws.

[368] New Zealand has also tried to get other Fijua products into America.

[369] But unsuccessfully, it's like the fruit was cursed by the founding fathers.

[370] 42 below is a big vodka brand here in New Zealand.

[371] and they launched a bunch of their vodka in America, every flavor a success, except the Fijowa flavor.

[372] Apparently, when they ran their Fijowa vodka past the FDA, the FDA said no, because the Fijowa doesn't exist.

[373] It seems to Fijer's fate has been well and truly seals in the US.

[374] It's clear I'll have to use as much of my time in New Zealand as possible guzzling as many Fijewas as I can.

[375] Stay tuned for more flightless bird.

[376] We'll be right back after a word from our sponsors.

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[416] And I did guzzle quite a few in features.

[417] What size are they?

[418] They're like an egg They're egg shaped Yeah so they're about an egg Big sized Egg sized egg sized egg sized egg shaped Like a kiwi They're like a kiwi Oh Yeah they're exactly It's very similar size They're a bit more oval than a kiwi I think a kiwi is a bit more round Fiji's ovalish It's hard to describe And look I need to admit something Because I came back from New Zealand A little while ago now I bought you back some Fiji A chocolate and stuff Because I was like I can't bring the fruit back Don't say it you ate it all I ate it all David this is a serious okay wow I don't know what to say discipline problems this is a serious issue this is now the third time you've attempted to like gift things yeah and there's a donut issue a while ago look all I can say is I love Fijoa's and sometimes if I'm at my house and I get a bit sad or something or a bit down I just want to eat chocolate and it was for your chocolate was there so I don't have it all I ate it all well then I'm not sure if it exists I am like the FDA.

[419] I'm just not sure it exists until I see it.

[420] I have that on good, that sounds like that's made up.

[421] I have it on good authority from someone that talked to the FDA that that's exactly the reason that this Fijoa vodka didn't get in.

[422] Because literally, 42 below, every other flavor they imported, Fijo, which is their most popular flavor in New Zealand, they couldn't get in.

[423] Wow.

[424] So you've never heard of the pineapple guava?

[425] Okay, so that's something.

[426] You can get them here, apparently.

[427] Okay.

[428] I will, look, Monica, I will find you a pineapple guava, aka Fijol in the future, and I will bring you some, and you can try Fijol.

[429] Yeah, look at pineapple grava and just see if you've seen them at a farmer's market.

[430] Because we are in California, and this is where some of them do grow.

[431] Oh, wow.

[432] It kind of looks like a lime.

[433] Yeah, fair.

[434] Okay.

[435] Oh, it has a little hat.

[436] It's got a little hat It does have a little hat Yeah that's where it attaches on to the tree Or it looks a little bit like an interesting shape Cucumber It's like wild takes This is why it never took off in America Because people walked by these fruit And they're like, that's a little tiny cucumber I don't feel like a cucumber That's tiny, I'll just get an ordinary cucumber Are you eating fruit?

[437] Because my favorite fruit, the passion fruit And the kiwi fruit I am not a big fruit person It's definitely lacking from my diet You're more a veggie gal Yeah, I would say more a veggie gal If I'm at the grocery store One out of five times I buy fruit One out of five I'm a 10 out of 10 Lemon and lime and stuff For that's not, I don't count that Because I mainly like cooking with those things Because one thing I love about California Is all these punnets of fruit everywhere There's strawberries and there's strawberries And then apples and pears And watermelon Chopping into a big watermelon I like pineapple.

[438] I like watermelon.

[439] I don't love apples.

[440] Okay.

[441] If they're in a salad cut up, I like that.

[442] But I never enjoy just biting straight into an apple.

[443] It hurts my teeth.

[444] Did you have a bad experience with an apple as a child, like one that was a bit too flowery or something, like a bit too tart or something?

[445] No, it just doesn't feel fun to eat.

[446] Doesn't feel pleasurable for me to eat.

[447] If I'm buying fruit at the grocery store is either likely a banana.

[448] Or blueberries.

[449] Blueberries is my go, too.

[450] Those are great choices and combine those into a smoothie and you've got a delicious smoothie.

[451] I know, but then you have to clean the blender and stuff.

[452] I think that fruit feel complicated.

[453] You always have to do something.

[454] You have to wash the berries.

[455] I need them to be as easy as an almond where you just eat it so fast, but you can't.

[456] You have to wash the berries.

[457] You have to like cut up the apple.

[458] You have to peel the orange, peel the banana.

[459] The banana has fruit flies.

[460] I mean, oh.

[461] The fruit flies do come for the banana.

[462] Yes.

[463] So fast.

[464] Where are they?

[465] I'm in an apartment.

[466] There's no bugs.

[467] I pop a banana around.

[468] I know.

[469] Have they hitched a ride on the fucking banana?

[470] It's fucked.

[471] I do wonder about fruit flies.

[472] Like, are they born in the banana?

[473] Like, why?

[474] Yeah, and if there's not a banana around, you don't see them.

[475] I never see a fruit fly just sitting on a wall or just relaxing.

[476] I don't know what the fuck.

[477] Where are they?

[478] I don't know.

[479] Stay in the house behind a book or something waiting until, what's that, banana.

[480] There's going to be 500 of us in your kitchen when you wake up tomorrow.

[481] No, I don't know where they.

[482] We need to look at where they come from.

[483] You know, we do, because it's crazy, right?

[484] I have a bad feeling they, like, emerge from the banana.

[485] Oh, they're hitching a right.

[486] Yeah, I mean, it makes sense, right?

[487] Because they do not exist otherwise.

[488] And the banana hits a certain level of ripeness, usually overwrite.

[489] The thing about the fruit fly, they move so slowly.

[490] It's like they're lazy and I hate I'd rather have a fast -moving insect The slow -moving lazy thing Horrible You know, we agree on this My other question was About washing fruit Oh, okay You do need to wash fruit here right Because they'll be sprayed with various things Exactly Okay same in New Zealand Yeah you always wash Sometimes though I'm so hungry for fruit I don't wash and I just chew them back And then you get rabies And then I don't feel good I don't feel great.

[491] Okay, so are you intrigued by the Fijewa so far?

[492] I am.

[493] It sounds good.

[494] Okay, I really like, you said it in the dock.

[495] Nuances of strawberries, pineapples, kiwis, apples, and mint.

[496] That's a lot of flavor.

[497] Yet, it's also called the guava.

[498] Yeah, the pineapple guava is the American name.

[499] Yeah, I wouldn't liken it to a guava.

[500] I mean, for me, the kiwi fruit is just so part of being a New Zealander.

[501] They're seasonal, so they're not all year round, but a certain.

[502] time of the year, they are just everywhere.

[503] They're falling from the sky off these trees.

[504] Yeah.

[505] And you just...

[506] Wait, kiwis.

[507] Are you calling this the kiwi fruit?

[508] No, did I call it kiwi just then?

[509] Yeah.

[510] Oh, I meant Fijews.

[511] Oh, okay, okay.

[512] Oh, my God.

[513] Because earlier when you said the kiwi fruit is your favorite, you meant a kiwi.

[514] I meant a kiwi fruit.

[515] Okay.

[516] Not a Fijoa.

[517] No, we don't call them, so in New Zealand we call them kiwi fruit.

[518] We don't call them kiwis.

[519] Right, because it's confusing because you...

[520] Because we have people.

[521] We have a people and a bird.

[522] Oh, God.

[523] So, yeah, we have to say...

[524] Kiwi fruit just so it's clear that what we're eating.

[525] Yeah, Fijowers are falling from the sky all the time.

[526] So are Fijio is what, how do they rank in your favorite favorite?

[527] What are your top 10 favorite fruits?

[528] I'd say they're tied with the passion fruit.

[529] And then I go on through all the berries.

[530] I love blueberries.

[531] I love boys and berries.

[532] I love blackberries.

[533] And then I'll get into pineapple, malins, that kind of thing.

[534] Oh yeah, that's the other thing.

[535] Malins, not for me. Cantaloupe, no thanks.

[536] Honeydew, no thanks.

[537] What's honey?

[538] I haven't had honeydew.

[539] Oh, it's...

[540] Is that a type of melon?

[541] It's a type of melon.

[542] It's like greenish, I think.

[543] It tastes just fine.

[544] Canalope, not for me. Do you know about the cantaloupe?

[545] No, I'm nodding like I do, but I'm like, what is it?

[546] I wonder if you'd like the cantalope.

[547] Sounds like antelope.

[548] Yeah, it sure does.

[549] It is with a sea.

[550] Can't eelope.

[551] Oh.

[552] Yeah, I've seen them.

[553] Yeah.

[554] I've never chopped into one.

[555] Yeah.

[556] No. But see, see, they require chopping and like the mango.

[557] You have to, I love a mango, but you have to, ding, ding, ding, India.

[558] They have lots of mangoes there.

[559] But you have to, like, cut it.

[560] It's hard to cut.

[561] Yeah.

[562] Some of the prep is hard.

[563] I mean, pineapples are very intimidating to chop them up.

[564] Exactly.

[565] Yeah, stuff like that.

[566] And then the strawberries have little hats that you have to then throw away.

[567] Oh, God, does that feed Joe a hat have to be thrown away?

[568] Okay.

[569] So you can eat a fee Joe?

[570] in a variety of ways.

[571] You can chop it in half with a knife and then you just get a spoon and you spoon out the contents.

[572] Oh, so you can't eat the exterior?

[573] Some people do.

[574] So the other way of eating it is you can eat the exterior.

[575] I would never, in a million years, eat the exterior.

[576] Oh, really?

[577] Some people do, and it's such a tart skin.

[578] It's not for me. What I do, though, I will bite through it to have, instead of getting a knife to chop it, I'll chop it with my mouth.

[579] Okay.

[580] And then I'll suck out the insides and get my tongue in there.

[581] You just clean it out with your tongue.

[582] Oh, it's the best.

[583] Wow.

[584] Okay.

[585] I'm intrigued.

[586] Okay.

[587] Are you ready to learn some more about the Fiji?

[588] About the fake fruit.

[589] We're not done.

[590] Okay.

[591] Onwards.

[592] So they're native to Uruguay and the three southernmost states of Brazil and a little tiny corner of Argentina.

[593] I thought that maybe the Fijoa was a New Zealand thing.

[594] But of course, as Kate explained, other places had the fruit before us.

[595] I later discovered that Colombians are obsessed with it, even though it's not native to Colombia.

[596] Colombia is from the Andes and people from Georgia, the country of Georgia, not the state of Georgia, and Azerbaijan really love them.

[597] I've been thinking more about why Fijewas, this wonderful fruit hadn't taken off in America.

[598] And I remembered something else, Kada told me. We were talking about the distinctive smell of the fruit.

[599] It's a good smell.

[600] And maybe a smell I'd smell somewhere else too?

[601] So the main component of the Fijewa spell is a compound called methylbenzoate, which is really mostly only found in such concentration of Fijewers.

[602] And apparently also, when cocaine meets air in certain circumstances, like human circumstances, combined to form methylbenzoate.

[603] So airport sniffer dogs have been trained to recognise that smell to detect the presence of cocaine.

[604] So maybe don't bring heaps of Fijos back in your luggage when you're getting back into L .A. Airport.

[605] Maybe that's the real reason the Fijower vodka never got FDA approval.

[606] They thought it was just full of cocaine.

[607] I was going to bring some Fijewas back for Monica and Rob, but this has me running scared.

[608] I'm getting a fresh visa, and I don't really want to get into an argument with customs about why my bag stinks of Coke.

[609] While researching the Fijer, I joined a few Facebook groups, one simply called Fijowa, and had 111 ,000 followers.

[610] Most of them seemed to be from New Zealand.

[611] I also joined a page called the Fijoa Appreciation Group, and this had a more international flavor.

[612] There I stumbled on Rebecca.

[613] A rare American who loves the Fijer as much as me, she told me she lives in San Jose and has a blog called The Wonderful Fijoa.

[614] I live in San Jose, California, which is in Silicon Valley.

[615] But before it was Silicon Valley, it was known as the Valley of Heart's Delight, the Santa Clara Valley, a major fruit growing region historically since the 19th century.

[616] So a lot of people have fruit trees.

[617] And my boyfriend and I moved into a house in San Jose about 15 years ago, and it had this big old tree in the back that we didn't pay much attention to.

[618] And then around September, October, it started dropping all these interesting green fruit.

[619] I actually did Google image search green fruits.

[620] And then I saw the fruit.

[621] And I said, oh, that's the fruit.

[622] Rebecca had discovered the Fijoa.

[623] And she and her husband, they've never looked back.

[624] We were like, can we eat these?

[625] Are they toxic?

[626] and started eating some of them and it was like, wow, these are really good.

[627] I really recommend reading Rebecca's blog, Fijorrecipes .wordpress .com.

[628] She's got a load of recipes there and a really comprehensive history of the fruits rise and fall in California.

[629] When the Fijowa was first introduced in California in the early 1900s, it was promoted as the next avocado, according to one article I found from 1915.

[630] And it was planted widely, and then people gave up because the fruit just didn't do as well.

[631] And I think the reason is the climate in California is not conducive to really great.

[632] Fijoa is in a lot of areas.

[633] It's too hot and too dry.

[634] So the tree was planted with a lot of excitement, and then the farmers just found it.

[635] It wasn't selling that well, so they didn't continue.

[636] Look, I live in hope that one day the Fijer will take off in America and that I won't have to come all the way back to New Zealand to eat it.

[637] Rebecca hopes for the sunnier future too.

[638] Okay, you've got to pitch the Fijoa to an American that's never had one before.

[639] They're like, I don't need a new fruit.

[640] I've got all the fruit I need in my life.

[641] What's your pitch to sell the Fijoa to someone's heart and soul?

[642] This is a really good, really special fruit.

[643] Like, no other fruit you've tasted.

[644] it a try.

[645] You'll like it.

[646] I'd never met a person who didn't like it after they tried it.

[647] She's pretty much right, except she hasn't met my dad, Alistair Farrier.

[648] And as this episode wraps up, and in the pursuit of journalistic integrity, I have to add that not everyone here likes the Fijoa.

[649] My dad, well, I think he hates them, which he explains to me in his typically reserved New Zealand way.

[650] No, I don't have read.

[651] No, David, no. I Fijowers are not, they're all right, they're right in the time.

[652] I love Fijos.

[653] They're one of my favourite fruits.

[654] You can't get them in America.

[655] Well, that's unfortunate.

[656] You've got plenty of other fruits are going to eat, though.

[657] If you don't like Fijos, what's your favorite fruit?

[658] Tamarillo's, very nice.

[659] Yeah.

[660] What is it that you don't like about the Fijer?

[661] Unusual flavour.

[662] All right, if you're desperate.

[663] Yeah.

[664] Salister.

[665] That was incredible.

[666] Oh, I. love when your parents join us for this show.

[667] Yeah, they get so visibly uncomfortable if ever I bring a recording device out.

[668] I'm sure.

[669] And just, yeah, very, very reserved.

[670] You can force things out of them.

[671] And that was my dad just being, oh, he hates Fijos so much.

[672] It was such a dad vibe.

[673] Dads are so dad -like.

[674] They have such a fingerprint.

[675] I don't know.

[676] Time, they age like a fine wine or something.

[677] They age in the exact same way, apparently, every single one.

[678] Okay, but the way he spoke about it being fine if you have to is how I feel about apples.

[679] Right, you're like, I don't hate them, but it's like, oh, there's nothing else.

[680] If my blood sugar is plummeting, I will.

[681] I don't hate it.

[682] I just never want it.

[683] You're stuck on an island.

[684] You're like, oh, so I guess I have an apple today.

[685] There's nothing on better options.

[686] Yeah, that's how I feel.

[687] While I was listening to that, it did remind me that though I don't love fruit or I don't buy it, I love a fruit pie.

[688] I'll pop it in a pie.

[689] Yes.

[690] Pop it in a pie.

[691] Pop it in a pie.

[692] Yum, yum, yum.

[693] Yeah, because when she said, made the distinction, it was Georgia the country, not Georgia the state.

[694] That was obvious to me because I would have known about it if it was Georgia the state.

[695] But Georgia the state is known for peaches, peach state.

[696] And I do love, and at first I was like, oh, I don't like peaches, but I do in a pie.

[697] I love a peach pie.

[698] I've never had a peach pie.

[699] I can make you a peach pie.

[700] You do a good peach pie?

[701] I can make a peach galette.

[702] It's a free form pie.

[703] Such authority.

[704] No, this is good because I want to do another episode about America's fruit pie obsession.

[705] You think that's American?

[706] Yeah, we've got House of Pies near us.

[707] Yeah.

[708] I'm amazed at all the fruit pies they have here.

[709] And things like key, we've talked about this in the Florida episode, key lime pie, pecan, pecan.

[710] pies.

[711] Well, that's a nut pie, but yeah.

[712] Wait, what kind of pies do you have?

[713] We have meat pies.

[714] You know, they just put meat in them.

[715] We put cow in our pies and some cheese and steaks and stuff.

[716] And that's our pie.

[717] So if you say in New Zealand, can we go and get a pie?

[718] No one would think fruit.

[719] You think meat.

[720] And you would not, you'd think savory always.

[721] Every time.

[722] Wow.

[723] So that's a cultural thing that I want to get into.

[724] And I want to know why all these different states have these different pies that they're proud of.

[725] Okay, this is great.

[726] So I had no idea that your thing was peach pies in Georgia.

[727] I had no way, and I'd love to know why, obviously I had a lot of peaches, but where do you get the best peach pie?

[728] Where do I get the best pecan?

[729] I know it's not fruit, but you love your pies.

[730] Pecan is also very southern, southern delicacy pie.

[731] You're okay.

[732] I've never tried to make that one.

[733] I don't know I can try, but I'm going to probably just contribute a peach galette.

[734] Can you make one of every type of American pie?

[735] And we can just saffle them.

[736] There'd be hundreds of them.

[737] Feature pie.

[738] Do you think there's such a thing?

[739] Should I look it up?

[740] Just see if there's a F -J -O -A.

[741] Okay.

[742] It's hard to spell.

[743] F -E -I -J -O -A for anyone to sing -along.

[744] F -E -I -J -O -P -Pye.

[745] Mini -O -A -L -P -E -J -E -O -Pi.

[746] It's all Fij -O -E -Joa and Apple.

[747] Yeah, why is it from popping your nightmare fruit in a bit, the apple?

[748] Monica's like, ugh.

[749] Actually, I love an apple pie so much, actually.

[750] You said pop it in a pie.

[751] Yeah, so I think what you need, you need the savory with the fruit, and that makes you give it the...

[752] No, it's not savory.

[753] It's sweet.

[754] You know, our fruit pies are sweet.

[755] It's a dessert.

[756] Of course, even the pastry is a bit sweet, isn't it?

[757] Yeah, it has sugar.

[758] It's, yeah.

[759] I've noticed that with your bread in America as well.

[760] It's always a bit sweet.

[761] Really?

[762] It tastes a little bit sweeter than New Zealand bread, I've noticed.

[763] I think there's a little bit of extra sugar in.

[764] Oh, my God.

[765] Maybe bread's another thing.

[766] We love sugar here.

[767] Which is good because I love sugar.

[768] I hear it's not great.

[769] It's not great for you, but yeah, I do really love it.

[770] That's good.

[771] This is fun.

[772] I enjoyed this.

[773] So, yeah, I don't want it to educate you about the Fijoa.

[774] Anyone out there listening in America, look for the pineapple guava.

[775] That's what I'm talking about.

[776] See if you like it.

[777] It's funny, you raised this earlier.

[778] The fact that they'll be marketed like an avocado.

[779] I could say they're worlds apart.

[780] I think all they're saying is maybe someone that would buy an avocado might also be tempted to get the Fijewa because they want something.

[781] It's like a character assessment.

[782] Like, no, maybe.

[783] Cool millennial types.

[784] Maybe.

[785] There's an alternate reality where everyone in L .A., the hipses are all eating Fijewas instead of their avocado toast.

[786] They couldn't be further apart.

[787] But get one.

[788] The way it is like an avocado is you want to feel it and it wants to be soft but not too soft.

[789] Because there's nothing worse than an overripe Fijoa.

[790] It can be like the banana.

[791] It can be the fruit fly.

[792] If this fruit fly is buzzing around it, put it back.

[793] It does sound like it would really attract some fruit flies.

[794] But can it be under ripe?

[795] Can it be like the avocado where it's like you can't even bite into it?

[796] Yeah, I wouldn't.

[797] It's just very tart.

[798] So I wouldn't rush into it.

[799] You want one that's just at the perfect level of right.

[800] And that's why it never took off in America because I think they just go off so quickly.

[801] You've got like a window.

[802] Once it's off the tree, you've got this window where it's this perfect food.

[803] Either side of it.

[804] No go.

[805] Okay, well, maybe I'll go to the Hollywood Farmer's Market.

[806] That's a very good farmer's market on Sundays.

[807] Yeah, okay.

[808] You should.

[809] That would be the place if it's going to be here in this country.

[810] This year we're going to find one.

[811] Yeah, I want to find one.

[812] You're going to consume it, and you're going to tell me where it sits when you compare it to the apple.

[813] And I hope you like it more than a fucking apple.

[814] If I don't, I'll not go well for you.

[815] This was very fun.

[816] I would say you have become more.

[817] or Kiwi?

[818] Have I?

[819] You never knew about the Fijewa.

[820] Actually, you're right.

[821] And now you do.

[822] And if you're in New Zealand, you'll be like, where can I get a Fijua?

[823] Yum, yum, yum.

[824] You're right.

[825] And they'll be like, oh, you know about that?

[826] You'll be like, oh, they'll welcome you with open arms.

[827] I become slightly more American because I learn about your love of the fruit pie.

[828] Okay, if we do a fruit pie episode, I have two friends, Lizzie and Joe, incredible friends.

[829] We as a team, as a trio, love pie.

[830] And they did pie for their dessert for their like wedding cake.

[831] Oh, wow.

[832] That's how much they love it.

[833] Yes.

[834] Okay, great.

[835] Well, let's talk to them.

[836] Well, they did a pie tasting.

[837] They got little pies from all over the city and I went to help with the tasting.

[838] So I got to try all the pies.

[839] Oh, to find out what they're going to have for the wedding.

[840] That's such a good gig.

[841] It was so fun.

[842] Well, maybe we round up them or maybe we just go to a house of pies or something like that and just get like a bunch of slices.

[843] Yeah.

[844] And we just try them.

[845] more.

[846] Yeah.

[847] Okay, this is good.

[848] Okay.

[849] Happy.

[850] Happy, Feejoa week.

[851] Happy Feejoa week.

[852] Happy Flightless Bert.

[853] All right.

[854] See you.