Bradley Cooper

[0] Welcome, welcome, welcome to armchair expert.

[1] I'm Dak Shepard.

[2] I'm joined by Monica Lily Padman.

[3] Hi there.

[4] How are you?

[5] I'm good.

[6] It's 10 days after Thanksgiving.

[7] It's the day before Thanksgiving.

[8] It's the day before Thanksgiving, but it's not.

[9] It's four days after Thanksgiving.

[10] One of my best friends is on long overdue.

[11] A lot of people have asked when this was going to happen, and he finally had a movie to promote.

[12] So he's here.

[13] He's here.

[14] America's Sexiest Man, 2011.

[15] What was it?

[16] 2011, which we talk about.

[17] It's so wonderful.

[18] Bradley Cooper, my God.

[19] What a fucking boss.

[20] He's a goddamn Grammy winner.

[21] I didn't even know that until I read this.

[22] Oh, from Starsborn.

[23] Yes, of course.

[24] Yep, yep, yep.

[25] My prediction is he's going to have an EGOT by the end of his life.

[26] Yeah, that's very possible because he did elephant man. He can get a Tony.

[27] He can grab himself a Tony.

[28] He can easily get himself a Tony and an Emmy.

[29] Yeah, Emmy.

[30] He just has a guest star in some show that's popular and they'll give it to him.

[31] Go hand it to him.

[32] Or it's so sidetracked.

[33] I mean, I feel silly even reading his credits, but a star is born, The Hangover, American Sniper, Silver Linens Playbook, American Hustle.

[34] What a bad motherfucker.

[35] He's got a new movie out that we saw that is incredible called Nightmare Alley.

[36] Guillermo del Toro, and if you're not a fan of his work, watch it all.

[37] He's so good.

[38] He's incredible.

[39] He makes real -life fairy tales, and they're so meticulous and wonderful.

[40] So people should check out Nightmare Alley.

[41] It is out December 17.

[42] Now for the big news, we're going to do a New Year's Eve live show, our first ever New Year's Eve live show.

[43] It's going to be fun.

[44] I'm looking so forward to it because I don't care about New Year's Eve.

[45] It's never for me because I'm a boring sober person.

[46] Yeah.

[47] But I'm looking forward very much to arm -chared and dangerous live in Los Angeles, December 31st at the will turn.

[48] Let me also add, this is a mere 26 hours away from my, oh, 26 hours away from my.

[49] birthday as well.

[50] Yeah, so it's also birthday party.

[51] It's a birthday show.

[52] So if you want to bring me, you know, really tasteful presents, I really like this designer, Todd Schneider.

[53] Everything he makes, I seem to like.

[54] The show's going to be not early, but on the earlier end.

[55] So like you can still go do a thing after if you'd like.

[56] That's exactly right.

[57] We're going to be kicking the party off at 8 p .m. We're going to give you a big boner of a show.

[58] And then you're going to go out and get fucked up and hook up with coworkers and peers.

[59] I hope, yeah.

[60] If you want to get tickets, they go on sale this Friday, December 3rd at 10 a .m. California time.

[61] So go to our website for the ticket link at armchairexpertpod .com.

[62] That's armchairexpertpod .com to see us on New Year's Eve at the Wiltern in Los Angeles.

[63] Get your tickies.

[64] They're going to go quickie.

[65] Enjoy Bradley Cooper.

[66] Wondry plus subscribers can listen to Armchair expert.

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[68] Join Wondry Plus in the Wondry app or on Apple Podcasts.

[69] Or you can listen for free wherever you get your podcasts.

[70] He's an unchanged.

[71] Can you see me?

[72] You looked so serious.

[73] I was waving to you.

[74] I didn't see you.

[75] Oh, man. Wow, this is intense.

[76] So that's a really.

[77] It's an actual armchair, because I've never seen it.

[78] I've only heard it.

[79] You haven't been up in the attic?

[80] Yeah, I have, but I don't remember the now, but just being on the show and seeing that you're in the actual armchair.

[81] Yeah, it's like a gimmick, and yet it's real.

[82] Yeah, it's awesome.

[83] How you doing, sweetie?

[84] Good.

[85] Oh, my God.

[86] Thanks for doing this, man. Really, thank you for doing this.

[87] Oh, my God.

[88] It's a big deal for us, big.

[89] For the film?

[90] Yeah, for me, for the film.

[91] Yeah, it's like a huge thing, yeah.

[92] Oh.

[93] Come on now.

[94] First off, can we talk about the fact that you have the AirPod Maxes, which I just got.

[95] How wonderful are those?

[96] They're insane.

[97] I mean, truly, I feel like they've changed my life.

[98] Like, I'm now into listening to music everywhere I'm at.

[99] Wow.

[100] Do you wear these all the time?

[101] Okay, so you'll love this.

[102] And it pertains to you specifically.

[103] So I had a full -fledged meltdown.

[104] I don't know if I told you this, but Monica is here to back it up in your apartment.

[105] Oh, I have PTSD from those headphones.

[106] You're going to really like this.

[107] So the trip to your apartment got pretty hectic in the child care department and trying to go to those little cafes and stuff in Paris and just taking up too many tables and me getting really just.

[108] You felt out of control.

[109] I felt very out of control.

[110] They're on the phone, which I don't like, whatever.

[111] And look, I was powerless.

[112] I'm there to visit Kristen with two kids.

[113] Like, I'm in that role.

[114] And I can't leave.

[115] And I think all these things combined, I just had a full, I went into your bedroom.

[116] We say to Bradley's apartment in Paris.

[117] Which you're so fucking generous that you've let Kristen say there a few times and myself.

[118] So we're there and I guess it was 3 p .m. I called it.

[119] I called it.

[120] Coup, I went to your bedroom and I laid in your bed in the fetal position and I listened to music for about eight hours straight, literally kind of rocking in the fetal position.

[121] And we were only there for three.

[122] 36 hours, let's be, we were in Paris for 36 hours and 20 of them, Dax spent in your bed.

[123] It was so, so, such a specific experience.

[124] Thinking about where I could get ecstasy, where I could go, oh yeah, I was going to drink.

[125] I was going to disappear for maybe three weeks.

[126] Or I was going to lay in your bed and rock for eight hours, which I chose to do and I got through it.

[127] But those headphones were a huge part of it.

[128] So you had the headphones on the whole time.

[129] So you didn't hear anything else.

[130] But what was it going on in the headphones?

[131] Look, I've since hopefully unpacked it a bit since we've gotten home.

[132] And I have a theory and all this stuff.

[133] But for the remainder of the trip, every time I felt like I was passing into a zone where I was going to start trying to escape, I'd put those fucking, it could be in a cab.

[134] We were in London.

[135] Huge fight going on.

[136] Chaos.

[137] Pop those things on.

[138] And just left.

[139] You know, it's interesting you say that because I used to walk around New York City all the time with these on.

[140] And this is pre -pandemic.

[141] And I was on the subway 1145 to pick Leah up downtown at Russian school.

[142] And I got held up at knife point.

[143] Whoa, when?

[144] The October before the March pandemic hit.

[145] Hold on.

[146] How are we best friends and I'm just learning you got held up?

[147] Yeah, I never told you that.

[148] It was pretty insane.

[149] But I realized I had gotten way, way too comfortable.

[150] in this city.

[151] Like, my guard was down.

[152] Because of the headphones.

[153] Yeah, well, the headphones.

[154] Yeah, yeah.

[155] You know, that takes away one sensory guidepost, gone, you know?

[156] And then you wear sunglasses and a hat, like, because you're trying to be incognito, but no one knows you wear anyway, so it doesn't matter.

[157] She just looked like an idiot.

[158] So I'm like that, and I'm all the way at the end of the subway, which I would just innately just go all the way down at the end, right?

[159] Yeah.

[160] And I felt somebody coming up.

[161] And I thought, oh, they want to take a photo or something.

[162] And then as I turn, I literally like this, I'm like up against the post.

[163] Like it's the French connection or some shit.

[164] And then I like turn.

[165] And I look down and I see a knife.

[166] Like a knife probably that big a knife.

[167] I'm going to say that's four and a half inches.

[168] No, maybe I'm exaggerating.

[169] Maybe like two and a half, two and a half three inches.

[170] Like a pocket knife.

[171] Yes, with a wooden handle.

[172] I remember they're like, oh, it's a nice knife.

[173] Yeah.

[174] It's got some history.

[175] That's an heirloom, like, it was his father.

[176] It's like, what's that, like, bait and tackle place that when we were kids, like, was always, like, I was like, I was like, I just want to live in that store.

[177] What was that store, like, you know, the official store in Maine?

[178] No, it was, not Patagonia, but it was something else.

[179] You remember that store?

[180] Anyway.

[181] We had Bass Pro Shop in Michigan.

[182] No, this was called, it's like two initials and then a name, Beam.

[183] Oh, L -O -Bean.

[184] L -L -B.

[185] Yes, yes.

[186] so I look down I look down I see the knife I look up now I have my headphones on the whole time so I can't hear anything I'm just listening to music so it's scored the whole thing is scored yeah can I ask what you do you remember what you were listening to I can't remember I know I wish it were like the heat soundtrack go ahead so I look up I see the person's eyes and I'm like taken by how young they are and then I'm sure you were taught this you don't ever run from knife that you just try to kind of like stay there.

[187] And I go like that, knocked his arm up, and just start booking.

[188] Oh, wow!

[189] You just started running, jumped over the, not carousel.

[190] What is it called the...

[191] Like the turnstile.

[192] Turnstile.

[193] Jumped over the turnstile.

[194] Hit around the white -tiled foyer entrance to the subway.

[195] Took my phone out.

[196] Okay.

[197] He jumped over, running away, and I took a photo of him.

[198] And then I chased him up the stairs.

[199] He started running up 7th Avenue.

[200] I took two more photographs of him.

[201] I ran down two police officers in the SUV, showed them the photograph, and I'm like talking to him.

[202] And the guy kept saying it was so interesting.

[203] He's like, are you stabbed?

[204] And I was like, no, no, no. And he goes, no, no, check to see if you're stabbed.

[205] Because realizing, like, what happens if people get stabbed and they're in shock.

[206] Oh, my God.

[207] And I'd look to see if he was right.

[208] It was crazy, bro.

[209] Oh, my God.

[210] I didn't even know.

[211] this.

[212] Yeah, and then I got back on the subway and picked up my daughter.

[213] Like, it was crazy.

[214] So what was the point of that story?

[215] Oh, headphones.

[216] Yeah.

[217] Headphones.

[218] Yeah.

[219] It's not a good endorsement for these headphones.

[220] Well, look, let me just paint the picture.

[221] If you get these headphones, you'll fucking ignore your family in an unhealthy manner and then you can get yourself robbed at night point.

[222] These are a great product.

[223] Steve Jobs is smiling in his grave right now about these fucking headphones.

[224] But they do work, the noise cancelling, man. No, they're amazing.

[225] You're in a different world.

[226] You're completely.

[227] Oh, my God.

[228] And then the day after that, we were looking at this astrology Instagram account that starts, like, breaking down all your sign and all of this.

[229] And it said, what did it say?

[230] There's like what you're going to pack on a trip.

[231] Yeah, what you'll pack on a trip.

[232] Capricorn, dear old dach.

[233] And you?

[234] And Cooper.

[235] Yeah, we're going to get into that.

[236] Oh, my God.

[237] Oh, my God.

[238] Yeah, so it was, what would you pack on a trip, noise -canceling headphones, Capricorn?

[239] Literally, we read that the day after I had freaked out and was hiding in my headphones.

[240] It said, what would you pack?

[241] It was so ironic.

[242] And I had to just have a big laugh as the Kristen and Monica just were like, Jesus Christ.

[243] Okay, so great, great segue.

[244] Thank you, Monica.

[245] So I think people would be curious.

[246] I would be curious why you and I are best buddies and how we met.

[247] and I wonder what your memory is.

[248] Mine is Westwood.

[249] Yeah, yeah, for sure.

[250] Yeah, and I was with Will, and Will Arnett was how he met.

[251] No, no, he wasn't there.

[252] He wasn't there?

[253] But he was the connective tissue because we saw each other and he had been telling me. And we said, oh, Will Arnett, right?

[254] Because he had just finished, recently finished, let's go to prison, right?

[255] Yes, and he spoke so kindly of you and you guys were bros and vice versa.

[256] Yeah.

[257] Yeah, so when we saw each other, it was this explosion of like, oh, yeah, Will, we're supposed to meet.

[258] And then generally, I think when someone thinks two people are going to be friends, generally it goes the other way, wouldn't you say?

[259] Like, oh, you're going to love this dude, Kyle.

[260] That's true.

[261] Well, it doesn't go as well as, as explosive as ours did.

[262] Will Arnett was, like, left in the dust.

[263] I don't even, like, remember that.

[264] Will you met?

[265] We felt deeply in love with each other, period.

[266] Oh, oh, a couple love addicts.

[267] Like, just, it's on, motherfucker.

[268] Like, where are we going, are we going to Europe for a lot?

[269] month like what is next we're going to play like just a regular game of basketball in your backyard and then it gets real violent and and i think what was really fun for both of us is right away we we discovered that we were born three days apart i'm on the second year on the fifth and then we got sober like a month apart and then buckle up we were both born deaf to me that was like let's seal the deal here yeah pretty crazy and again it could have gone wrong.

[270] Like, these are my lanes.

[271] Like, this is my lane.

[272] Yeah.

[273] I think it's also like being in this business and finding somebody that you have such a connection with because it's sort of untrue.

[274] I mean, you and I are just from not at all, like, Hollywood's the farthest place ever from like how we grew up.

[275] And so to meet a like -minded person in this forest of unknown land, you just want to grab on and hold on.

[276] You were certainly my lifeline for years.

[277] Yes, same, same.

[278] There's this like dance you're playing when you're newly in the business where it's like you kind of want to act like you've been there like you don't want to be the dude on set who's like just so enamored with everything that it makes everyone else feel awkward or something so for me I was like acting like I belonged at all these places but then when I met you I could be like oh my god you worked with Vince Vaugh like I could geek out and be a fan of Vince Vaughn or I could go isn't this insane like I could it was like we were childhood friends or something like that we together go, like, look at all this crazy shit.

[279] We were allowed to expose our, like, kind of naivete to one another.

[280] Or that's my assessment.

[281] Yeah, I think for sure.

[282] I mean, just a feeling of comfort.

[283] Just like, when I was with you, everything felt okay in this crazy, you know, in Hollywood.

[284] Like, to go out with you and I was like, everything's going to be fine.

[285] Yes.

[286] Oh, my God.

[287] What fun.

[288] What fun we had.

[289] Were you sober when you met?

[290] Oh, yeah.

[291] Oh, yeah.

[292] I think we were both maybe like a year and a half sober.

[293] I was 2004, right?

[294] I got over August 1st, 2004, and you're...

[295] Was September 1st?

[296] September 1st, yeah.

[297] We met like around 2005 or something, I think, right?

[298] Or six.

[299] Or six, yeah, 15 years.

[300] And what I love about you is you're pretty humble.

[301] So I meet you and you're like a great actor and you're handsome and you're athletic.

[302] And that's all I really know.

[303] And then we start like, I get a ping pong table.

[304] You know, I got some buddies over.

[305] And you're like, you should be on TV playing ping pong.

[306] You're so far better than every one of us who's played ping pong.

[307] And even some other guys who've played their whole life.

[308] And you're just, you're just assassinating guys in the living room at ping pong.

[309] And then I found out, oh, oh, yeah, Cooper's like an ace ping pong player.

[310] And then I find out you're like virtually a college level tennis player.

[311] And that when you're doing these summer plays in the Berkshires or wherever you go, your whole day is at the college playing tennis with other collegiate athletes.

[312] And I'm like, this is such a bizarre revelation and so fun.

[313] And then I just, for me, the apex, I tell the story all the time.

[314] I'm like mildly knew you knew French, whatever that means.

[315] Like, I imagine you could go shopping and stuff.

[316] And then we were together in Paris and you said, do you want to come with me?

[317] I got to do this, like, late -night talk show appearance tonight.

[318] And I was like, oh, yeah, yeah, I'll come with you to that.

[319] And I'm watching you on stage of a comedy show.

[320] It's very important that we understand.

[321] This is a comedy show, like a fucking Conan O 'Brien.

[322] And Cooper, Monica, is up there.

[323] He's like, and then the fucking audience is going ballistic.

[324] And I'm like, oh, my God, this dude speaks French to the level that he's cracking jokes.

[325] Do you remember when we were like the guest stars for the New Year's Eve special?

[326] Do you remember they brought us out on that stage in France?

[327] Right?

[328] Am I crazy?

[329] Didn't they do that?

[330] Wait, I think you ushered me out with you, but I don't think anyone had any clue.

[331] No, no, no, no. They brought us out.

[332] They may not have known who we were, but we were like the final act of this like New Year's Eve countdown special.

[333] Don't you remember that?

[334] we walk out to the center of the stage it was so bizarre do you remember that so vaguely but yes I do remember you bringing me along I didn't know what it was and I was like come with me to this thing just come with me on stage oh my God I'm in like street clothes we walk in the middle of this stage there's like hundreds of people everybody was in tuxitos but us dude it was crazy I'm in winter wear for my last trip It was like these two Americans on like a tour.

[335] That was so funny.

[336] Just hearing you say those things that are so nice to hear, I think that's part of why maybe we had such a connection because I equally found so many of the things that you were good at just like mind -blowing, like your ability to ride motorcycles.

[337] It was from meeting Dax that I started to ride motorcycles.

[338] And all of your car knowledge is insane, despite your scientific knowledge, There's so many things about you that I was always like, how does this guy have all these things?

[339] So I think when two people meet each other and sort of are enamored with certain aspects, that's a blessing.

[340] Yeah.

[341] And I think for both of us, we're romantics, right?

[342] Like, we're just really deeply.

[343] I think we're seeing each other, like, we're both crafting this kind of fantasy life that we've cobbled together.

[344] And it's an interesting ride.

[345] And I feel like you and I have always been able to talk about it because, like, you're, you're, bouncing in and out of like this fantasy world you endeavored upon.

[346] Some of it really feels connected, some of it feels disconnected.

[347] And also I think to me, you represented somebody who's so like manly in quotations.

[348] And yet you're also so willing to speak about your feelings and your fears and your insecurities, which I know like in today, I'm sure it's why so many people love what you both do.

[349] It's just to have that level of like self -reflective honesty is what we all want to be around.

[350] So that was also something about you that I just like, oh, I could just like trust that like it's okay to share things with you, that you're not going to judge it.

[351] And even if you did judge or I judge it, we would work through it because we'd be willing to talk about it.

[352] And I also loved how for any listener who doesn't already know, like, you are one tough motherfucker.

[353] They know.

[354] They know.

[355] That is just, that they know.

[356] Okay, okay.

[357] Because that was just like, you know, I've been around some people growing up that were like you, but like, like, there was just something cool about like, wow, I'm friends with like a really tough guy.

[358] Oh, my Lord.

[359] Well, we were talking about that in Paris because you said that you guys almost got in a fight.

[360] Oh, yeah.

[361] I was telling Monica, we went out to this.

[362] Remember we went to a nightclub?

[363] Oh, yeah, of course.

[364] Yeah, I remember, yeah.

[365] I remember every time we almost got in a serious fight.

[366] Oh, yeah.

[367] There have been a couple of them.

[368] There was like a big dude in a leather jacket, right?

[369] Like a French dude.

[370] And he was kind of like sniffing us out.

[371] Like, oh, I'll kind of show these dudes, whatever.

[372] You were telling that story.

[373] and I was like, okay, I know you find yourself in these situations all the time, but does Bradley, is he the same?

[374] Is he also, like, ready to throw down?

[375] Oh, my gosh, no. No, the op. No, no, no. Well, hold on, hold on, hold on.

[376] It's not that easy, I don't think.

[377] It's not like, so if I'm a seven on the spectrum, Coops a five, because Coop's big.

[378] He's athletic.

[379] He's competitive.

[380] Other dudes are, they want a jockey against him.

[381] Oh, he's a movie star.

[382] They want to test him.

[383] So I think people kind of flex on you.

[384] I don't know.

[385] I think I grew up learning how to dodge things, like learning how to escape situations when you smell that they could occur.

[386] And I think that has really served me. It didn't serve me until I got sober.

[387] I mean, I definitely, like, the last year before I got sober, my inability to smell that out was not great.

[388] And then because I wasn't sober, I was more than willing to enter into those situations just because I had so much self.

[389] loathing and wanted to be a man so desperately.

[390] So what better way than to hurt somebody physically?

[391] Yeah.

[392] But I grew up running away, smelling something, and running away.

[393] Sometimes I got hit, but I was never a fighter, no. But you and I both have that sputty sense.

[394] Yes, no question.

[395] Which is like, I know danger's coming.

[396] Yes, that's right.

[397] That's why bringing it back to that subway, I had really gotten comfortable.

[398] I mean, geez.

[399] I mean, that was all turned off.

[400] I was just, it was in my couch, like in a living room, like in a subway.

[401] Like, oh, the place is empty.

[402] This guy's one inch from me. No problem.

[403] Exactly.

[404] In the sea here.

[405] Oh, look at this.

[406] He's proud of this knife he got from his father.

[407] He's showing it to me. Wow, that's a beautiful.

[408] You know, I wonder.

[409] How do you keep it sharp?

[410] Do you have one of those stones or the thing you just do with your hand?

[411] That went right into my ribs there.

[412] That is sharp.

[413] That's a clean kind.

[414] I kind of took a stab at some.

[415] things.

[416] That's really what it was.

[417] You're dead right.

[418] What really it was is the same thing I had with Aaron Weekly, which is you are so happy to talk about your fears, how you felt insecure, how you felt less than, and I love that.

[419] And that's maybe from us both being in the program or whatever it was, our ability to admit we were scared of where our career was going.

[420] Yeah, that you and I met each other when we did at mid -30s.

[421] What a sort of vulnerable time for us.

[422] And even for, I think, males in general, that like 35 to, before 40, 32 to 40, oh, brother.

[423] Yeah, sure, sure.

[424] We were just so riddled with insecurity and not having the escape of drugs and alcohol.

[425] Yes.

[426] So, like, confronting so much.

[427] I just can't even imagine going through those years without you.

[428] Yes.

[429] And we had like teammate to go to these kind of Hollywoody things together.

[430] So we could go to like a party at someone's house and we were both sober.

[431] And again, it reminded me of Aaron and I growing up like, oh, I don't give a fuck.

[432] I'm with Cooper.

[433] We're having the best.

[434] And I always felt that.

[435] I remember going to Kate Hudson's Halloween party and I was a magnate PI.

[436] Do you remember that?

[437] The way your legs and ass looked in those shorts.

[438] Remember how jealous I was, just the powerful haunches?

[439] everyone at the party couldn't keep their eyes off your legs.

[440] You had the short, short, short, corduroy O. P's on.

[441] And you look phenomenal.

[442] I don't know.

[443] My calves are pretty nonexistent.

[444] No, that big powerful ass, those eyes.

[445] I do have a big ass.

[446] But I remember feeling, well, if I'm with Dax, everything's fine.

[447] Yeah, it's just, you're one of those cool guys.

[448] You just, you've always been, clearly.

[449] Right, Monica?

[450] I mean, he's a cool guy.

[451] Oh, don't make me say that.

[452] Oh, she won't know.

[453] But it is true.

[454] But it is true.

[455] You can't help it.

[456] It's in your DNA.

[457] You're just one of the cool ones.

[458] And you are, too.

[459] No, I'm not.

[460] That's cute.

[461] You don't think so.

[462] That's what's so likable about you.

[463] I'm sure he's told you this, but I can see it from the outside that you're one of the only people that I feel like Dax can hear.

[464] Like when you tell him something, he really listens and takes it to heart.

[465] And like, I sometimes I'm like, I said that.

[466] I said that six times.

[467] It doesn't matter.

[468] It has to come from something.

[469] someone who speaks the same language, who he respects, and there's like three of those people, and you're one of them.

[470] I may have told you this, Coop, but when I first told Eric, I relapse, we're like, talk it out.

[471] And then I get home and I get a text from Eric that says, I think you probably need to tell all this to Bradley because he'll tell you exactly the truth.

[472] And I don't know if I did or not.

[473] And I was like, oh, like even people in my life know, I got to eventually, I'm going to have to tell you.

[474] And you're going to have to tell me the truth about the whole situation.

[475] And he can hear it.

[476] Yeah, I can hear it.

[477] And it all started.

[478] I talked about it when I interviewed Kate.

[479] So I'm happy to say it now.

[480] Like really started when I was struggling in that relationship, just feeling so less than all the time at like a career low.

[481] And you taught me through that three months how to actually figure out what I was really responding to.

[482] Like I would think it was, oh, she did X, Y, and Z. she's an asshole and then you would always go wow she said x y and z to me i would feel emasculated or i would feel impotent and then i was like oh my god that is exactly how i feel and i'm embarrassed because i think at that time i was sober for three years i should have known how to do that from our program and i didn't i couldn't find the real fear and you so taught me to do that and i literally couldn't have been married the last however many years without you teaching me that.

[483] And as you know, it's just, oh, so much easier to see it from the outside.

[484] Things are so much clear.

[485] I mean, that's why we need each other as human beings, you know, desperately, I think.

[486] Something about you being so capable and handsome and athletic to hear you, this is true.

[487] You've said that so many times.

[488] I know, but it's so true.

[489] I needed to hear from you that you're insecure, that you're fearful, that you, like, I felt unique.

[490] I felt terminal uniqueness that I would feel this less than all the time at 6 -3.

[491] It felt embarrassing.

[492] And I think because I look up to you so much and I appreciate you on so many levels, there's just a huge freedom to hear you saying you're having all those things.

[493] And of course, it's normal to think, well, everybody else must feel great and we're the pieces of shit.

[494] So to learn that, oh, wait a second, being human is a really rough road, no matter who you are.

[495] That's a very comforting feeling.

[496] We're not alone.

[497] I mean, isn't that why?

[498] I mean, I was talking to my friend last weekend.

[499] I know it's like people make fun of like storytelling as like that's what one does.

[500] But as I get older, I'm like, that's what I like to do, right, is storytell.

[501] I know that sounds like whatever it sounds like, but it's the truth.

[502] It's like, why do I work so hard at it?

[503] And it's because like that need to explore the mysteries of human experience and wanting not to feel so alone and to heal each other.

[504] I mean, that's just the truth.

[505] I mean, that's just the truth.

[506] And that's why it's like endlessly fascinating.

[507] There is no end goal.

[508] And I think that's also why you and I connected and why it's so wonderful to see you today.

[509] It's like, you know, we thought we knew so much more than we do now when we were in our mid -30s and what would make us happy and what we needed to achieve to have fulfillment.

[510] And we were just so wrong about so many things, you know.

[511] And to be older now and know like, oh, there is no end.

[512] It's just the exploration.

[513] That's it.

[514] Yeah.

[515] Do you think sitting in my kitchen talking about like what we're going to do me above all like my plan of i'm going to do this and i'm going to make this amount of money and then the next time i make this like just my whole mapping everything out and then for us to both have ended up in places that were actually way beyond maybe even what we were talking about oh my gosh yeah you and i both had kids like that's to me that's when all the planning in the kitchen we got a lot of those bells and whistles and it's totally fun there's great stories there's all this stuff but the meaning was it i don't know for me like the kids had to come into the picture for me to have true purpose I believed in.

[516] Yeah, I mean, children, that's a game, I mean, that there's before and after.

[517] Yeah.

[518] I mean, for me, I'm asking you, for me, I literally stopped planning in a way.

[519] I stopped the fantasy of like where I was going.

[520] I mean, and I think that you definitely had that more than I did, that plan thing.

[521] Okay.

[522] Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[523] Yeah, yeah.

[524] It's humiliating.

[525] What I interviewed Will, too, is he just kind of like busts me on how much I was like, Okay, so Sandler made $2 .1 million off of this movie.

[526] It made $49 million without a paddle made $58 million.

[527] I'm going to, like, oh, my God, dude.

[528] Stay tuned for more armchair expert, if you dare.

[529] What's up, guys, this is your girl Kiki, and my podcast is back with a new season.

[530] Let me tell you, it's too good.

[531] And I'm diving into the brains of entertainment's best and brightest, okay?

[532] Every episode, I bring on a friend and have a real conversation.

[533] And I don't mean just friends.

[534] I mean the likes of Amy Poehler, Kell Mitchell, Vivica Fox, the list goes on.

[535] So follow, watch, and listen to Baby.

[536] This is Kiki Palmer on the Wondery app or wherever you get your podcast.

[537] We've all been there.

[538] Turning to the Internet to self -diagnose our inexplicable pains, debilitating body aches, sudden fevers, and strange rashes.

[539] Though our minds tend to spiral to worst -case scenarios, it's usually nothing, but for an unlucky few, these unsuspecting symptoms can start the clock ticking on a terrifying medical mystery.

[540] Like the unexplainable death of a retired firefighter, whose body was found at home by his son, except it looked like he had been cremated, or the time when an entire town started jumping from buildings and seeing tigers on their ceilings.

[541] Hey listeners, it's Mr. Ballin here, and I'm here to tell you about my podcast.

[542] It's called Mr. Ballin's Medical Mysteries.

[543] Each terrifying true story will be sure to keep you up at night.

[544] Follow Mr. Ballin's Medical Mysteries wherever you get your podcasts.

[545] Prime members can listen early and ad free on Amazon Music.

[546] So when we met, you had just done failure to launch.

[547] I had maybe just done employee of the month.

[548] And then this unique situation happens that doesn't happen to most friends is Todd Phillips starts meeting people that might be in the hangover.

[549] And it's all of our friends.

[550] You meet on it, I meet on it, Arnette meets on it.

[551] I don't know, probably Bateman met on it.

[552] And I don't know about you, but, and I think we talked about it.

[553] I had this deep sense that that thing was going to be something incredible, mostly because I just thought Todd was so fucking brilliant.

[554] So do you remember going through that process?

[555] And I remember you were, you were showing him tape from you were doing the FX show at that time.

[556] You were doing nip talk.

[557] Yeah.

[558] And he wanted to see you be kind of.

[559] of like, I guess sexy or something and that tape was in the mix.

[560] Well, I remember meeting him at the Chatea Marmont and having lunch with him and I had auditioned for him years ago to play the Vince Vaughn role in the remake of Starsky and Hutch.

[561] And I remember, like, I got to audition for him when I was in New York.

[562] And I remember, like, thinking like, well, this is like the coolest guy in the world, right?

[563] Just like him on the chair with the sung light.

[564] He had those tinted glasses back then.

[565] And he's got the best voice like ever speaking voice.

[566] And then so, yeah, I remember just that Chateaormor thing, like, I thought it went well.

[567] And then we really connected on our love of film and Paul Thomas Anderson.

[568] And then I remember, like, I got his email and he said, I'm going to a screening.

[569] There will be blood this week and you want to come.

[570] And so then we went there and I took Klugman with us.

[571] And I remember like the Q &A after with Daniel DeLewis and Paul Thomas Anderson.

[572] And then that was it.

[573] You and I talked about, but I never heard from him again.

[574] And it was like six months later, you know, because they tried to put that movie to together with a different cast.

[575] And then Warner Brothers wouldn't approve the budget.

[576] And then so that's why they wound up going with the three of us at a much lower budget.

[577] But I was doing a play at Williamstown and I was going to give up.

[578] I thought that was it.

[579] Like it just wasn't happening.

[580] And I got an email from Todd Phillips.

[581] I remember in like August and he's like, let's go.

[582] I was like, what?

[583] That's how that went down.

[584] Like I thought it was over, completely over.

[585] And then out of nowhere, I get this email from a month later.

[586] I wonder how much of it you can compute and internalize like I wonder like what's your synopsis of the experience of like being in that movie it coming out being the biggest R -rated comedy in the history in the wake of that like how are you computing going from I think I might be done with this maybe I'll just act it in plays to holy shit I'm in a phenom I mean that definitely was a changing point where I felt like oh this is what fame is like after that movie just because so many people had seen it and then I'll all of a sudden, being recognized around the street, it was like, oh, wow.

[587] Like, I think I moved after that, because I lived in Venice.

[588] My door just opened right up to the street in Venice, California.

[589] And I remember at some point going, like, I think I have to move, like, to at least where, like, there's a driveway.

[590] Right, right.

[591] Where you got to walk more than six feet to my door?

[592] Matter of fact, I remember taking, remember Charlotte, my dog, Charlotte.

[593] Your beautiful child.

[594] Charlotte and like a container We were going to fly to New York So I was putting her in the trunk And they were like paparazzi behind it And I remember thinking Oh fuck these pants They're so low My ass is gonna be hanging out And I'm like bending down And then I was right Like I went online after And it literally is like a shot of my ass crack Oh my God Monica You gotta do some digging Yeah I got to do some digging And I remember I was like I got a move Oh wow Not only is it immediately you're incredibly famous, you're also this heartthrob after that.

[595] You were like the dick in wedding crashers to this heartthrob that everyone is obsessed with, and that has got to feel so bizarre.

[596] Well, especially if you don't feel like a heartthrob.

[597] I don't think I ever, ever let that in, ever.

[598] Really?

[599] Yeah.

[600] Yeah.

[601] So I would say even still, and do you think something will happen if you do that?

[602] I mean, at this point, I'm going to be 47, and I think that that ship has sailed in terms of like the reality.

[603] But that's interesting you say that, like, what is the fear of accepting that maybe people think that way?

[604] Is the fear that I would be, like, grandiose and, like, be an asshole?

[605] Or is that all I am?

[606] As a kid, I was, like, this beautiful cherub of a child, like, and people thought I was a girl until I was, like, eight years old.

[607] And I remember feeling like a doll.

[608] Like, really, like, people, but, you know, just automatically just, like, pick me up and stuff.

[609] And, like, and it really affected me as a kid.

[610] It's so weird.

[611] Gloria kept your hair real long, too, right?

[612] She sure did, yeah.

[613] Yeah.

[614] I remember being at Murray's bagels with, like, my buddy, and they're like, what would you like, ma 'am?

[615] And I was just like, I have a jean jacket on with pins.

[616] Isn't that manly?

[617] But I also have to say, like, I definitely had facts to back up my rejection.

[618] of that notion.

[619] I think Dax knows a story.

[620] Like, one of the things I, like, early that I had, like, feedback gotten on this movie was, like, he's not fuckable.

[621] And I was like, holy shit.

[622] Like, that was a rough thing to hear.

[623] You know?

[624] I wasn't cast as, like, the hot guy and stuff.

[625] You know what I mean?

[626] Like, I was, like, the sidekick on Alias and, like, the asshole and wedding crashers.

[627] That was not my experience of roles I went up for, necessarily.

[628] Although, I did play Jake the Downtown Smoker for Sex to City.

[629] It was, like, the first job I ever did.

[630] Oh, wow.

[631] But I remember thinking that like oh it's just because my hair is long so i really didn't i remember when it's 2011 right when they were like sexiest man live thing and i remember when my publicist who was still dear friend it was like hey you you know this thing and i was like i was on the set of silver linings playbook and i was like that was like wait what like i thought it was a joke i think i thought it was dad i think you were i thought you were pranking me because i always had this fear that dachs yeah yeah yeah yeah and then i I thought, oh, my mom's going to be so happy.

[632] But the fear I thought was like, this is not going to be good.

[633] Everybody's going to be like, what?

[634] And the truth is, that is what happened.

[635] No. Oh, no, no. Watch, watch, watch, watch.

[636] When they announced it, I'm not, because back then, like, they would do it on the Today Show and they'd have, like, the person's cut out.

[637] Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[638] When they announced, I mean, we could always go back and look at the moment, I guess, at YouTube, but my memory of it, I think I'm probably right.

[639] It's like, and boom.

[640] And she's like, oh, oh, it's Bradson.

[641] Bradley Cooper.

[642] Literally like that.

[643] Come on.

[644] Bro.

[645] Bro.

[646] Bro.

[647] I am not kidding.

[648] And I went, oh, shit.

[649] My fears are right.

[650] And then people protested that Ryan Gosling should get it.

[651] There was a protest.

[652] No, no, no. There was a protest.

[653] And I thought, oh, no. See?

[654] But that is like, that all happened.

[655] I didn't make that up.

[656] Like, that was for real.

[657] I believe that that happened.

[658] I believe that that one woman, and I do believe those deranged fans of Gosling, yeah, I believe all that.

[659] But that's 2%.

[660] Yeah, that might be 2%.

[661] I don't know, but it felt like a lot.

[662] I would imagine if you had that point of view of yourself at that point, that you're kind of in no man's land.

[663] You're in part of the tennis court.

[664] You're going to get blasted because you're simultaneous to that going on, like, let's say, between two ferns and Galvanakis is regularly making fun of you because you're so good.

[665] looking.

[666] So it's like on one hand, you're like, I'm too good looking to be accepted by all the comedians and embraced.

[667] And yet, I mean, called sex, he's made a year and they're rioting over it.

[668] So it's like, what is it?

[669] Both sides feel like it's a downside.

[670] Well, I never felt not accepted in like the comedic world.

[671] That I never felt.

[672] I mean, I was able to be in like wet hot American summer and then wedding crashers.

[673] And I never felt that like I wasn't able to be accepted in that group.

[674] I used the wrong word, but I mean, like, you're being called out for being gorgeous as a comedian.

[675] Oh, when Zach would do it, I just was like, it made a bit work.

[676] But I just thought that was part of a bit, so play along.

[677] But you're a gorgeous comedian.

[678] The bottom line of everything we're talking about is, like, real self -esteem.

[679] And whether I'm looking for it aesthetically or any outside way, then I'm in trouble.

[680] And that's part of the journey.

[681] And yet, did I feel like it was high school all over again when I moved out here to Los Angeles out there?

[682] I guess, since I live in New York now.

[683] But I thought I'd conquered so many things, fears.

[684] And then I find myself in Los Angeles on a TV show.

[685] And I'm like right back to high school, would not be able to get in clubs and like people not looking at you and like feeling invisible and not good enough.

[686] And like, wow, I haven't learned anything.

[687] I'm still looking for outside gratification to give myself self -esteem.

[688] And that's the only thing I'd say that is like our industry highlights because there is so much instant gratification, then you feel those highs and lows inside your body and brain.

[689] It really forces us, I think, to work on ourselves in a way so that we really develop a real sense of self -esteem that isn't predicated upon those things, which are meaningless anyway.

[690] It has really nothing to do with the reality of oneself.

[691] I actually am now thinking, like, your experience on Alias actually might be the most helpful thing someone could hear about your story.

[692] Can you tell us?

[693] Yeah, graduated grad school.

[694] It was like $75 ,000 in debt.

[695] And then working in New York and then met J .J. Abrams in New York, who was just like a bolt of magical energy.

[696] And all of a sudden, like, he wants me to be in his show.

[697] I was like on Cloud 9.

[698] And so I move out to L .A., shoot this pilot.

[699] Jennifer Garner is the most luminous person I'd ever met.

[700] And she was like, met me with like a box of cookies that she had just baked.

[701] And all of a sudden, I have this community right away, Victor Garber, Ron Rifkin, Michael Vartner.

[702] who I thought was like the most beautiful, charismatic, best tennis player, guitar player, like, that guy had everything.

[703] And then he likes me, like, he's nice to me, and Marendonji and all these people.

[704] And I love film.

[705] And that JJ and Kennell, and they were open for me to, like, be in the editing room and I would get everybody's dailies.

[706] And, like, it was just, like, heaven.

[707] Although I found myself, like, relegated to, like, two days a week working.

[708] And I'm, like, living in the bottom floor of this woman's house up in Fairfax.

[709] And, you know, it's a car culture.

[710] and I'm like paying this guy like a weekly thing for his golf Volkswagen and I'm just and I start picking up golf at the public Malibu course like crazy stuff because I'm not doing anything so I'm just like watching dailies and like sitting in the editing room and then like playing golf at 615 in the morning with this guy like runs an eyewear thing and this other guy and I got to know and like I watched like my role just get diminished more diminished and that was the birth of comments there was like this thing called television without pity and back then there was a dial -up modem so when you would wait to read a comment you'd have to like wait for it to load and I remember and I'm reading comments and they were saying your largest fears like he's dirty, he's ugly like how do the producers like and I was like holy shit like I went on there going like this is amazing I'm on the TV's like oh fuck and I like kind of I became addicted to reading it and the thing that I remember most that was the most depressing was like the time between pushing the link to when it would load was like two minutes.

[711] That was worse than the reading of the comment, the waiting, the willingness to like just kill time.

[712] To hear bad shit about yourself.

[713] To hear bad shit, which is a narcissistic self -loathing endeavor.

[714] Well, you're confirming your worst story about yourself, right?

[715] I'm a terrible piece of shit.

[716] That's right.

[717] So if you have that inclination anyway, it's like putting a nuclear weapon on that thing.

[718] But then I would like share it with certain people and they're like, oh, don't worry, that's one person in their basement and da -da -da.

[719] And then the New York Times did an article where they talked about the impact of message boards on writers' rooms in television shows.

[720] And they cited Will Tippin the character I played.

[721] So I'm like, no, no, I'm right.

[722] Like, I suck.

[723] And it just went from there, it just got worse.

[724] And after the second season, I went to JJ, and I was like, you got to write me off the show, like, I'm losing my mind.

[725] And he said, okay, it was dark, man. And also, at that time, the show was exploding.

[726] So, like, and Jennifer Garner, like, was shot out of a cannon.

[727] Michael Vartan was, like, shot out of a cannon.

[728] And I was just sort of sitting here, you know, watching this and not even being a part of the creative process and just feeling like everything that I dreamt of as a kid of storytelling was, like, not going to happen.

[729] but luckily I had enough inner strength like I got to leave the situation and so many of my friends are like are you crazy like this will never get this good you're a series regular on a TV show like and friends who cared about me I remember my friend who I lived in Venice at the time and my friend and his wife they're like don't do it stay on you're so lucky you don't know and I was like I don't think I'll survive and then I quit severed my Achilles tendon like two weeks later on a basketball court and I'm out for like six months a year of recovery and then I got to the sober like six months after that and then just like slowly started putting my life together.

[730] Wow.

[731] Oh man. That's such a complicated story because you were right but also don't you think like if you have a theory you will always find the data to support it.

[732] So it's like.

[733] No question.

[734] Yeah because like I believe you that in the New York Times they cited that but I also believe that if I went searching for Bradley Cooper's a standout on this show I probably would have found those articles.

[735] It would have been harder but yeah, you could have.

[736] You didn't take a little deeper, but I love that story.

[737] It's so, like, human, yeah, I've done it.

[738] I've done every version of that.

[739] Here's the other thing.

[740] If you're in this business long enough, you ride the highs and lows, and you and I have been there with each other for both of those.

[741] That's also why we're, I think, have such a, I mean, I mean, I think it's pretty clear we're in it for life.

[742] I mean, we've been there so much together.

[743] And we've had a really hard times together.

[744] other and periods where we didn't talk and like horrible fights that's a relationship yeah i don't know that i fully comprehend all of it but i think what was really interesting is when we met we were very much peers and then you went on this incredible ride after the hangover and you were gone a lot as you would be like you were on movie after movie after movie pretty much after that and i imagine as we didn't see each other as much.

[745] I assume I chalked a lot of that up to you're busy, but then probably my fear is like, well, he doesn't need me anymore.

[746] So not true, but yeah, I understand.

[747] And then I hopped on a different path earlier than you.

[748] Like, I hopped on the, I want kids path a little earlier than you.

[749] And I don't know, from my perspective, I think once you had a kid, the better part of my nature was like, there's no way I'm missing this.

[750] I've got to get reconnected.

[751] to coop like i want to be a part of you having a child and us having children and us getting to talk about that experience and i feel like that's where my renewed dedication to like oh i got to figure out whatever was going on yeah but we had another weird moment once you got offered the lead role in this movie christen i did went in rome and i remember i i talked you out of it or i was attempting to really talk you out of it, of accepting it.

[752] And I remember the conversation we had, and I said, dude, I just want to remind you, you want to be in Michael Man movies.

[753] Like, that's where you want to go.

[754] You want to be in Michael Man movies.

[755] This is not in route to a Michael man movie.

[756] This is probably a diversion from the route to a Michael Man movie.

[757] And I think at that time, I think you were suspicious I was trying to fuck with you.

[758] Or that maybe I was trying to, I didn't want you to have that role because I didn't want you to be the lead.

[759] in the movie with my girlfriend, which I can say from this vantage point, that really wasn't ever on my mind.

[760] It was literally like, I know what you want to do.

[761] You went to fucking the actor's studio.

[762] I know what you want to do.

[763] It's not this movie.

[764] What do you think of that?

[765] I don't remember that.

[766] Oh, okay.

[767] That's great.

[768] That to me means it didn't mean shit to you.

[769] I don't know.

[770] I guess that's the moment I maybe filed into like, oh, I don't think he trusts me right now.

[771] I mean, if I were to think about our wayward path since we met, there's so much intensity and yet we're both so driven and we have such differing like ambitions artistically and life and what we'd like to do recreationally quite honestly yeah but yet we willed to like spend as much time as we could together and i think deeply maybe there was just a frustration of like wait why aren't we like neighbors yeah doing this together and like trying to like force it to be instead of like well life is taking this path right now for both of us that's the way it is and it'll come back.

[772] And I think that's what the benefit of age has done for us and our friendship is that, like, you know, I could bring Lee over there, you know, six months ago, whenever it was and we sit outside.

[773] And, you know, it's just the greatest thing in the world.

[774] Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[775] It's almost more rewarding to me that there was challenging times in the middle of it.

[776] Yeah.

[777] It's also, it's very addicty.

[778] I mean, it, these are two addicts.

[779] So, like, if, as you said, it started as almost love addiction.

[780] And I'm sure.

[781] You guys spend.

[782] all your time together.

[783] And when you have highs like that, there are lows.

[784] Yeah.

[785] Yeah.

[786] Yeah.

[787] I'm still an addict.

[788] I think you are too.

[789] Right.

[790] I don't know if that ever goes away.

[791] But actually, I mean, the thing that I've learned is I've gotten older is like, okay, you're an addict, but what's really going on?

[792] Yes, one's an addict.

[793] But what does that mean, really?

[794] What does it even mean?

[795] I agree with you for like 10 years, that was enough.

[796] And then at some point, I was like, no, there's way more to the story than that.

[797] Oh, way, way more.

[798] But, you know, In that mix, we still had, I came to see you in Thailand when you're doing Hangover 2.

[799] And Afghanistan, geez, Louise, how about that?

[800] Yes.

[801] I think it's one of those major things where, like, you grew up in Philadelphia and here's my bandwidth of you.

[802] And then you go to Europe for the first time at 18.

[803] It's like, whoa, whoa, Europe.

[804] Like, this exists.

[805] And then it's like, you fall in love.

[806] And then this is.

[807] And like Afghanistan was one of those like, you're sort of forever changed.

[808] Because you have all this actual knowledge.

[809] of what this thing theoretically is.

[810] I mean, the biggest takeaway is just how young they all are, man. That's the thing I kept thinking, like, oh, my gosh, like, these are kids.

[811] It's so true.

[812] And then you think about, like, where my head was at at 19, like, oh, my God, I can't imagine.

[813] Oh, my gosh, yeah.

[814] Okay, we got to talk really quick about, so in my overall story of this interview, which is, I love to say about you, have told you this, that if I ever looked up in the sky and a F -16 flew by and someone was like, oh yeah that's bradley he's playing a pilot in his next movie i'd be like yeah not shocked i knew he could fly an f -16 so the endless skill set that gets unveiled from you is so fun being your friend and someone who loves you and is excited so when you did stars born i had directed two things small things and then i got to watch you like endeavor upon that and then i was lucky to be a part of two of them yeah yeah yeah yes you were one of my favorite thing dave keck outside the judo thing and this thing with the hand lights our motherfucker dude that thing with his wrist the best oh man those were such pure times weren't they were just in a field with fucking dragging that guy the guy with the dog oh yes that was the limitless wig that we used and then re -fashioned to have dreadlocks for it and run you yeah let me say publicly how fucking kind that was for you to be in my movie at that point when you're already a huge star.

[815] It just helped everything.

[816] It made everything happen.

[817] I just need to acknowledge that.

[818] And I've also told this story on here before.

[819] I've only had this directing a couple times in my life, but one of them was watching you is it was past the dragging the guy around the back, but it's when you're talking to him and it's getting kind of real.

[820] And then at the end, you tell him that those tank tops aren't cool even ironically anymore.

[821] I didn't yell cut because I got, I fucking was all of a sudden I was watching a movie.

[822] It's one of the only times I've been directing where I literally forgot I was directing.

[823] I just got sucked into what you were doing in your close -up.

[824] And I was just watching this movie that I fucking loved.

[825] And I totally forgot to yell cut.

[826] I was just like, I can't wait to see where this movie goes to.

[827] I love that film.

[828] It was so awesome.

[829] I love that, all that stuff with you and Kristen in the bed under the covers.

[830] That's so great.

[831] How about the fact that we were embroiled in an FBI scandal after?

[832] words.

[833] I think that's hysterical.

[834] I remember he kept getting like emails every six months.

[835] Like you could have to talk to this guy.

[836] I was like, what?

[837] Okay.

[838] So in a nutshell, we had a pit bull in this scene.

[839] So we had to hire an animal wrangler that brings the pit bull that can do everything the pit bull needs to do.

[840] Well, this guy also had a tiger in the car.

[841] I don't know anything about fucking exotic animals.

[842] I don't know what's legal and not legal.

[843] We're in a parking lot of a shitty grocery store in the deep valley and before you know it this guy's got his tiger out of the car he asks you if you want to hold the tiger you're polite you know sure i'll hold the tiger now he takes a pitcher that ends up in a fucking tabloid the guy sells it so we're already like months later we're like oh that guy was kind of a dirt bag but even better i don't know where your call came in i was on set of parenthood i'm in my trailer phone rings unknown number like hey this is agent mike so and so from the FBI.

[844] I'm like, I mean, you never think you're going to get a call from the FBI.

[845] And he's like, do you know Mike Schwichnotch?

[846] And I'm like, you hired Mark Schnitzschwad, so I don't even know that person's name.

[847] Like, basically, implying I somehow I'm a part of this exotic cat fucking ring.

[848] And they come to find out they've contacted you as well.

[849] Yeah, it was nuts.

[850] You're having the time of your life.

[851] You're probably at that point starring an American hustle or something.

[852] And you're getting a call from an FBI because you were nice enough to do a week on my movie and now you're part of a fucking exotic animal trade investigation.

[853] But you're teaching me how to do donuts with that Cadillac station wagon.

[854] Oh my gosh, that was nuts.

[855] Yeah, everyone got to just go wild on that movie.

[856] Wild.

[857] It would never happen again.

[858] Anywho, Star is Born.

[859] You're going to have to sit through this.

[860] I apologize.

[861] Didn't know you sang.

[862] and I think first the song comes out before the movie, right?

[863] The song's out.

[864] It was the trailer that it was like, oh my God.

[865] Yeah, because the song was in the trailer.

[866] Yeah, that was the trailer.

[867] I saw the trailer and I was like, oh, fuck.

[868] Oh, my God.

[869] The song, the fucking, you're getting out of the car, you're walking away from her, you look back at her, and I was like, my groin caught on fire.

[870] I was like, oh my God, it has every fucking thing.

[871] Obsessed with the song, singing in the car with my daughters, go see the movie.

[872] It's fucking astronomically great, as was proven by every fucking review and what it did commercially.

[873] And I was just like, my goodness, man, what a fucking journey from meeting in an alley in Westwood at a premiere of a movie, neither of us were in, to making this movie.

[874] I was just so excited.

[875] I just was so fucking pumped with how awesome that turned out in every way.

[876] The way it was shot, the way it was acted, the story, the music, all of it.

[877] Just incredible, dude.

[878] It means a lot what you think of stuff to me. That means a lot.

[879] Like, I can't wait to watch the next movie you make.

[880] I am excited for it.

[881] Wait, is that happening?

[882] Yeah, I actually came to Dax's, what was it, like three months ago?

[883] I can't remember I showed you the little proof of concept.

[884] Yes.

[885] Awesome.

[886] And this is where you and I differ, and I just got to applaud you.

[887] Like, your willingness to do homework is outstanding.

[888] Because even when you, before you guys went away to film, Star is Born, you had shot all this stuff.

[889] You had like two full shoot days.

[890] You had a location.

[891] You were trying cameras.

[892] You showed me in your office the stuff you had shot.

[893] And then from where that started to where the movie you made ended up is astronomical.

[894] And it's, you're like, due diligence.

[895] It's so, it's impressive, dude.

[896] You're a hard worker who will do the TV.

[897] media shit.

[898] We'll do the homework.

[899] And we'll just work at it, work at it, work at it.

[900] That is true.

[901] Yeah.

[902] And that's what, getting back to what we said earlier, like, where does that come from?

[903] I can procrastinate like the best of them.

[904] It's like, but certain things like this kind of work, I'll just endlessly do it until it gets better and better and better.

[905] And I just like, where does that come from?

[906] Because you write a lot of work.

[907] Yeah.

[908] I've been writing this maestro, this movie for three and a half years with Josh Singer.

[909] And I put it together this like 22 -minute a proof of concept where I was like, is conducting, do I look like an S &L sketch or is it real?

[910] And the makeup test and Carrie Mulligan test and like, we don't start shooting until the end of May. But yeah, I don't know how to do it any other way.

[911] I think that started with American snipers.

[912] Like, I actually had time to prep.

[913] And it's like, oh, if you actually, if you have time to prep, like, it's a whole other deal.

[914] Like, you can really get a hold of something in a different way.

[915] I'm glad you just brought that up because I just want to throw out there.

[916] That was the first time I saw you in something where I was like, okay, don't know.

[917] the guy in this movie right and like in an awesome way because silver linings which of course is you're fucking brilliant and it's such a great movie maybe it's my favorite movie you've ever been in maybe i don't know but that's close to the best for you i think if you not in a program not in therapy like that's potentially you i watch that and i was like oh that would be cooper without any of the fucking help i always remember i always remember my mother being at the bottom of the the stairs, like in the, they had a little video village, like, in the house.

[918] And I come down from the thing, and she's like, it's like, it's like, you're not acting.

[919] You're really close with your mom, it sounds like.

[920] She's come up a couple times.

[921] Oh, absolutely.

[922] Yeah.

[923] Another thing you connect on.

[924] Gloria's always in the mix.

[925] Yeah, she's doing well, too.

[926] Not just turned 81 two weeks ago.

[927] Wow.

[928] Oh, baby.

[929] Yeah, great.

[930] Living in Philly, still driving around.

[931] It's amazing.

[932] Oh, I love her.

[933] I love her.

[934] I've probably spent more time with your mom than anyone else's mom.

[935] Maybe.

[936] And I just adore her.

[937] Yeah.

[938] She does the same thing my mom has.

[939] So she just thinks we are the, just the God's gift to this planet.

[940] And it's this double -edged sword for me. It's like it's certainly why I've attempted everything.

[941] And it's also why I almost feel like I will always feel like a failure on some level.

[942] Yes.

[943] It's a lot to unpack there, that's for sure.

[944] Okay.

[945] So Monica and I, talk about what's going on right now, which is Monica and I saw Nightmare Alley yesterday.

[946] Wait real quick.

[947] I just got to interrupt.

[948] So I'm so glad you said Monica because like, I don't know, how long have we been talking like 45, 47 minutes ago?

[949] I said, you know, and then Monica, then you were like, I told Erica I wasn't sober and I went, holy fuck.

[950] Eric.

[951] Eric.

[952] So I've been, so like deep in the back of my mind, I'm like, I'm like, just let this go.

[953] Let this go.

[954] That you're so rude.

[955] Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.

[956] Oh, my God.

[957] I called Monica, Eric, or did you think you...

[958] No, that I've been wrong about her name for the last four years.

[959] And then I just said it on set of your work.

[960] Okay, something magical happened.

[961] And then I start going, oh wow, you're not even talking to her, but I'm so scared to say Monica.

[962] So I'm like, well, I just can't talk to her the rest of the thing.

[963] Because I can't say, Monica, what do you think?

[964] This is all.

[965] I'm like, I can't say Monica.

[966] So I'll take the hit for not having talking.

[967] talk to her than to actually be disrespectful that I'm saying the wrong name.

[968] Wow.

[969] Coupe.

[970] And we just, literally, we just, like, got to the core of who you are.

[971] It just happened.

[972] That is textbook Cooper.

[973] It's like some little thing happened.

[974] And now a good 60 % of his brain is, like, working through every machination of this.

[975] How can I, that's kind of your name.

[976] I have her text.

[977] I have a name on a text.

[978] Then I'm like, how can I, like, search through the text?

[979] Because I'm zooming on my phone.

[980] So I can't do that.

[981] They'll see.

[982] Oh, my God.

[983] Half of this, this whole interview has been you and your head about my name.

[984] Yeah, I said Eric a long time ago.

[985] Yeah.

[986] No, I did let it go, though.

[987] I was like, I can't ask her opinion about something.

[988] Oh, fuck.

[989] Oh, fuck.

[990] Oh, that's great.

[991] Thank you.

[992] I feel so much.

[993] Isn't that great?

[994] That is the best.

[995] The ride you've been on in your subconscious for the last 20 minutes.

[996] Well, I blew that.

[997] I fucked that whole thing up I was hoping I didn't get canceled in this interview and then in the meantime I went and fucking disrespected Erica Erica Who did I think of Monica?

[998] Where did I think of Monica?

[999] I got to bring this up and therapy.

[1000] Who is Monica?

[1001] Oh, yeah.

[1002] Stay tuned for more armchair expert, if you dare.

[1003] Okay.

[1004] Monica and I, aka Erica Padman and I, went and saw Nightmare Alley yesterday.

[1005] The number one movie Nightmare Alley reminds me of is there will be blood.

[1006] Like, there's some calling, obviously.

[1007] There's some beacon on Daniel Day Lewis that is, like just calls you he's kind of a north star for you and i just think it's kind of really cool i don't know if you've thought about it or you give a shit but i think it's really cool that this movie nightmare alley to me is very much there will be blood well i mean look daniel de louis for me when in 1998 when i first got to new york for grad school i was in the french roast and who walks in but daniel fucking de louis and his wife which i didn't know at the time rebecca miller and they sat i just watched him i like I was in shock.

[1008] I was like how this is what New York City is like.

[1009] There's Daniel DeLewis drinking coffee.

[1010] And then I, I mean, this is slightly creepy.

[1011] I would sit in that chair for years.

[1012] Like, I was in grad school for three years.

[1013] And I would order a cafe lay at French Rose had these big cups.

[1014] And I remember how he drank it with both of his hands.

[1015] And he was like this when he was like talking.

[1016] And I would just sit there and like kind of pretend I was him.

[1017] Yeah.

[1018] For like maybe 70 times.

[1019] Yeah.

[1020] And I remember seeing, like, gangs in New York, his performance in gangs in New York, whenever that came out.

[1021] I don't know.

[1022] I just couldn't, like, it just sort of, like, changed my chemistry.

[1023] There is attention to the movie.

[1024] Part of it is parallel to Daniel Plainview, which is, like, is this guy good or bad?

[1025] Like, you don't know.

[1026] That's right.

[1027] That's right.

[1028] That's such a fun zone to be living in, especially for children of trauma where, like, your job is to identify who's a threat.

[1029] That's right.

[1030] So I think for a lot of people, it'll, like, engage all.

[1031] those spiky senses in a really stimulating way.

[1032] Is he good or is he bad?

[1033] And what a distinction.

[1034] He didn't know.

[1035] He didn't know.

[1036] I don't think he knows anything until that last scene.

[1037] Nothing.

[1038] Cape Lancet character says, she says, what do I want?

[1039] He says, what everybody wants to be found out.

[1040] Uh -huh.

[1041] It was brutal, bro.

[1042] I'm not going to lie.

[1043] That was a hard movie.

[1044] Well, it's interesting because we can be the least fun people in the world to watch a movie with, like Monica, Chris and I. Anyone who's been in show business, if you're watching a movie, you just can't help but recognize, like, my God, dude, you were under a rain machine a lot.

[1045] Like, that was one of my thoughts.

[1046] It's like, oh, my God, he was under a rain machine so fucking much.

[1047] Everyone was under a rain machine.

[1048] And it must have been so cold.

[1049] We were freezing in the theater.

[1050] Wear a sweater when you see this movie.

[1051] Because even if the room is not cold, you will get cold, which I love about it.

[1052] Like, you're either in the rain or it's snowy out.

[1053] It's fucking cold.

[1054] It's this weird mix of, it's a fairy tale.

[1055] the whole thing is a huge fairy tale.

[1056] I just got to say Guillermo, man. Do you think you've been in a movie that looked prettier than this ever?

[1057] No, no. It's unreal.

[1058] I can't believe what it looks like.

[1059] Dan Laushton, the cinematographer and Guillermo and the camera, the camera crew, everybody, the costume designer, everything is just on another level.

[1060] I mean, and it all comes from his vision, man. Every circle, half of the stuff in Lilith's office he bought on eBay.

[1061] It's incredible.

[1062] His daughter made all those tapes, all the tapes that she has of all her patience.

[1063] His daughter wrote every single one of those.

[1064] Oh, my God.

[1065] You can look at any part of the composition.

[1066] There's going to be something to story there, which is thrilling for me to be a part of that.

[1067] Well, but it's so meticulous.

[1068] Like my first fear would be like, fuck, this guy has it all mapped out, which means he probably has me mapped out.

[1069] And I would be afraid I'm not going to be able to give them that thing.

[1070] I didn't feel that only because we had met early.

[1071] We postponed the movie because I was living in New York and my daughter's school and all this stuff.

[1072] So we had time to prep and work on this script together and talk about what is the movie?

[1073] What is the story you want to tell?

[1074] And how can I, Bradley, help you tell it?

[1075] And what do I think that my strength could be for you?

[1076] And also, what do I want to explore myself as an actor?

[1077] But the truth is, man, like this movie told us what it wanted to be.

[1078] and also because we had that break because of the pandemic for six months and that wound up being beneficial in so many ways because we shot the second half of the movie first pretty much.

[1079] Oh, really?

[1080] And then the first half of the movie, we shot later.

[1081] And so we were able to rework it and things that we needed and what we learned from shooting that second part first and I was able to lose 15 pounds which you don't even really know but hopefully you feel like he's just much thinner and more like from the earth in that beginning.

[1082] And then when you find him in the Copa, he's like a little Chris Kylie.

[1083] You know what I mean?

[1084] Like, he's pretty big.

[1085] He was very collaborative.

[1086] We'll be friends for life because we went through like a 10 -year relationship in three years.

[1087] Yeah.

[1088] Like fully.

[1089] Like all the ups and downs.

[1090] It was incredible.

[1091] And I have tremendous respect for him.

[1092] It was a movie that asks questions rather than gives answers.

[1093] That's the one thing I think that this movie does is just asking questions.

[1094] Oh, yeah.

[1095] Like Monica and I had left there like in.

[1096] talking about it, talk in, in debate.

[1097] Really quick so people know, like, we don't know where you've come from.

[1098] You've left some house that's on fire, and you kind of stumble into a carnival, and then you find your way in this carnival.

[1099] You start figuring out things you can do there.

[1100] And he doesn't talk for, like, the first 15 minutes, doesn't open his mouth.

[1101] Monica said.

[1102] I said, is he a mute?

[1103] Are we not going to hear anything from Rowley, this whole movie?

[1104] Yeah, what did I say?

[1105] He said, no, you pay for.

[1106] You pay to hear him talk.

[1107] Yeah, he's got to talk.

[1108] You come to hear Bradley talk.

[1109] There's no way we're getting out of this without talking.

[1110] It's a fucking another incredible performance where I have forgotten that I've known you for 16 years while I'm watching it.

[1111] I don't know who this guy is.

[1112] I'm projecting, and I'm not projecting Bradley stuff.

[1113] I'm projecting my own stuff.

[1114] Right.

[1115] And my friend saw a couple weeks ago, and she said such an interesting thing.

[1116] She's like, I'm watching it, and I have this anxiety as the movie goes on, because I realize, like, oh, he's like two steps away from losing everything.

[1117] Like, he's literally two moves away.

[1118] And she said, and I can relate to that.

[1119] And I thought, I just thought that's really interesting.

[1120] It's true because he's just like a couple of moves and it's all gone.

[1121] Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[1122] Well, I live with that thought.

[1123] I like my life.

[1124] Yeah, in today's world, it's like a couple of moves and it's over.

[1125] Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[1126] I have a joke that's not very popular today on set, which is a. Like, if I ever wanted to just be done and retire, just go grab the director's dick and go, good night, everybody.

[1127] I'm out.

[1128] It was nice.

[1129] I don't have to come up with any reason why I left show business.

[1130] Just grab that dick for a minute and then go, peace.

[1131] I don't even send me a call sheet for the next day.

[1132] Oh, this is going to happen on set.

[1133] I got it.

[1134] Yeah, this is my exit.

[1135] And he's got those strong hands dach, so you know he's going to grab this shit out of that guy.

[1136] He'll have a story to tell for sure.

[1137] But I do want to go back.

[1138] You got to work with Willem Defoe.

[1139] I know.

[1140] This is crazy.

[1141] I mean, his first day was the day when Clem is telling him what it is to, how do you get a geek?

[1142] How do you get a geek?

[1143] Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[1144] That was his first day.

[1145] And I just got to sit and watch this guy.

[1146] It was one of the best days ever, just watching this guy and just trying to stay in it.

[1147] Because I just am like watching, just watching this guy I've idolized for years, just is the real deal and crushing it and watching how he works and then just come to like love him as a person and you know every day he would come on set I was just so happy yeah and that was the thing being in every just about every scene the movie is like all of a sudden Rooney Marr comes in and then Tony Colette who's an incredible actor I mean Tony Collette is just like ridiculous and Kate Blanche I mean everybody would just and David Strathairnbrough I mean it was a joke oh man I mean Richard Jenkins dude I couldn't believe it I couldn't believe it Well, that's the thing I wanted to geek out between you and I, like, if we were at my kitchen table, like, comprehending that Cape Lanchette, like, you get to work.

[1148] Yeah, it's nuts.

[1149] It's nuts.

[1150] Yeah.

[1151] It's here playing a supporting role in this movie.

[1152] Like, this is, this doesn't seem possible.

[1153] It's crazy.

[1154] So happy for you.

[1155] I think it's great that you still, you're still enamored by that, though, because you've been in scenes with everyone.

[1156] So that the fact that you're still like, oh, my God, we get to do this person and this person, that's cool.

[1157] Oh, I feel it like enormously.

[1158] Yeah, I don't think that'll ever go away.

[1159] Well, what's very lovely and endearing about you is that you're a legit fanboy for acting.

[1160] Oh, yeah.

[1161] And movies, yeah.

[1162] Yeah.

[1163] It's like you're also a master in it, and yet you're just a fucking fanboy, and it never escapes you.

[1164] It's lovely.

[1165] Yeah.

[1166] And again, I think that's why like the endless amount of coal and the fire to work at it.

[1167] You know, if you love what you do, then it's like in the editing room, you'd look at the clock.

[1168] and 16 hours went by.

[1169] Anything you love, time changes.

[1170] Happens here all the time.

[1171] Totally agree.

[1172] Oh, here's a weird question.

[1173] I'd probably never ask you in real life when I'm going to ask you on the show.

[1174] And this isn't number one.

[1175] So you're not declaring number one.

[1176] But I want to hear three actors immediately you think of that you've worked with now because there's been so many incredible ones where you were like, oh, that was pretty transcendent.

[1177] Or that was a ride.

[1178] I mean, definitely Robert De Niro.

[1179] Yeah, yeah.

[1180] I've only had this a couple times in my life where I feel like someone sucked me into their bubble.

[1181] Oh, that's right.

[1182] And then I just was unaware of everything that happened after that.

[1183] I mean, first it was overcoming who he is, right, having to work at that.

[1184] But then he's so real and talking to you that he doesn't allow you to even work on letting go to the fact that he's Robert De Niro because he's talking and you've got to answer him.

[1185] Right, right.

[1186] It's like a sport, right?

[1187] Like true acting is like you're on a playing field and like you can't think because you're reacting because the person's like, hey man. Yeah, yeah.

[1188] I did this movie Limitless, right?

[1189] Of course, and that was amazing.

[1190] It was incredible.

[1191] But then, like, to do Silver Linings Playbook, right after my dad died and calling him dad and him being such a huge part of our family growing up as Italian Americans in Philadelphia, and then for him to be such a dear friend today.

[1192] Here's the other thing is like, and as you know, no matter who you are, you can suck on any given day, period.

[1193] Oh, sure.

[1194] It's like, you start at zero.

[1195] That's the beautiful thing about our profession.

[1196] It's like, no matter what, maybe you have 30 seconds, of audience, like, approval, just goodwill.

[1197] But after 30 seconds, if you suck, like, you're fucked.

[1198] Yeah.

[1199] Like, it's just like, okay, well, yeah, you were great and that other thing, but this is horrible and I'm out.

[1200] That's awesome.

[1201] That's just sort of like equalizing factor.

[1202] The biggest lesson was watching Vince Vaughn on Wedding Crashers and watching his willingness to fail.

[1203] I was blown away, just his willingness to go.

[1204] I'd never seen anybody go for it like that ever before.

[1205] Like, risk failing.

[1206] Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[1207] Why wouldn't you?

[1208] This is the place to do it.

[1209] Yeah, and so, yeah, Bob, for sure.

[1210] Christian Bale, man, an American hustle.

[1211] I remember, like, before, I was so excited and terrified to work with him, not really knowing, like, what it would be like, and he was so loose and present.

[1212] And I was just like, holy shit.

[1213] That was one of the best experience of acting with him.

[1214] That was one of those moments where I was, like, outside of myself, watching the movie, you know, like you were saying, like, this movie is this movie.

[1215] he's fucking awesome.

[1216] Yeah, I can't.

[1217] Look at this movie I'm in.

[1218] It's almost, yeah, yeah.

[1219] It's like you're on the court while Jordan's like hitting some crazy shot.

[1220] Yeah, exactly.

[1221] Wait, I'm on this team.

[1222] I'm actually playing.

[1223] Shit, okay.

[1224] But you know what?

[1225] Rooney Mara, man. Her level of believability is nuts.

[1226] Like she would, like, I'd be in scenes with her and just like, whoa.

[1227] She's incredible.

[1228] You're getting excited about acting all of a sudden.

[1229] Like, I'm getting excited.

[1230] Well, you're a great actor, man. You might have to get your crow removed.

[1231] Oh, God.

[1232] That was your declaration.

[1233] I know I declared I'm done acting with this crow tattoo.

[1234] Can you see that?

[1235] Wow.

[1236] When did you get that?

[1237] This morning.

[1238] Come on.

[1239] No, I got it a week ago, though.

[1240] I got it a week ago Saturday.

[1241] Oh, it's beautiful, man. I like it.

[1242] I like where you put it.

[1243] Oh, thank you.

[1244] I remember when you got the cherry blossoms.

[1245] That's right.

[1246] That's right.

[1247] That's right.

[1248] You were there for that.

[1249] This has a cherry in its beak.

[1250] Yeah.

[1251] I want to say something that nobody knows about you.

[1252] You are an incredible designer?

[1253] There you go.

[1254] He'll love this.

[1255] Yeah, yeah.

[1256] Oh, my God.

[1257] This is worth saying.

[1258] This is worth saying.

[1259] This is worth saying because people wouldn't know this.

[1260] Yeah.

[1261] But your apartment in Paris was so gorgeous.

[1262] I could not get over it.

[1263] And then Dax was like, yeah, he did it himself.

[1264] This is wonderful woman, Santienne in Paris, who is a designer who I worked with in Paris, who really helped me out with a lot of that stuff.

[1265] But I do love to do it, yeah.

[1266] Well, your New York apartment is equally gorgeous, probably better.

[1267] And you were really, you did that.

[1268] You have an aesthetic, my man. I do love that a lot, like a lot.

[1269] I spent a lot of time thinking about stuff like that.

[1270] Yeah, like space and, like, environment and, like, where things go.

[1271] That's for sure.

[1272] It's a great escape.

[1273] You know what I love about visiting you is you are a guy who the fireplace is always going.

[1274] That's right, dude.

[1275] He was going to like 6 a .m. this morning.

[1276] I love it.

[1277] I love it.

[1278] And in your apartment in New York, the fact that you can do it.

[1279] I did that while I was there.

[1280] I had like three different fires.

[1281] I felt like in your honor, like you'd be mad if I wasn't having a fire here.

[1282] And it's so fucking pleasant.

[1283] It was raining.

[1284] The windows were open.

[1285] We had a fire.

[1286] Oh.

[1287] I've had this realization.

[1288] I'm the same.

[1289] I love design and space.

[1290] And at one point, I was like looking around and figuring out what to put here and what to do this.

[1291] And then I realize like, oh, it's because I don't feel in control right now.

[1292] and my brain goes to, this is a space I can control.

[1293] I think there is definitely an aspect of that.

[1294] I mean, I put myself to sleep by, like, thinking about how to organize space.

[1295] Yeah, like often.

[1296] Yeah.

[1297] Yeah, it's kind of crazy.

[1298] Yeah, I think there is a lot of truth in that.

[1299] And then the flip side is environment, just knowing that, like, one's environment, just, for me, dictates my emotional state in a huge way.

[1300] And, like, just creating an environment that you can dwell.

[1301] Ellen that feels safe and warm has just endless dividends.

[1302] Yeah, I agree.

[1303] I want you to tell one funny story, if you will, and then we're going to let you go.

[1304] This has been fucking awesome.

[1305] Will you please tell the story when you invited your cousin out to L .A. And you took him to a premiere.

[1306] So we're at Westwood.

[1307] My cousin, Colin.

[1308] Who came to Afghanistan with us?

[1309] I love him.

[1310] What a fucking good guy.

[1311] Yeah, Colin Campana, a wonderful guy.

[1312] my older cousin grew up with.

[1313] I was very excited.

[1314] Like, there's this premiere.

[1315] I think I'd been to the shaft premiere in New York years ago, but I never even got, I mean, somehow got into like the nosebleeds up there.

[1316] But I hadn't been to many premieres.

[1317] And it was the Babel premiere in Westwood.

[1318] And I was like, bro, it's interrott to him.

[1319] Brad Pitt sent in it and Cape Lanchett.

[1320] And that's, you know, he did that Maurice Peros.

[1321] He's going to be awesome.

[1322] It's a premiere.

[1323] He's like, yeah.

[1324] So we go there.

[1325] We get out of the car, like the red carpet, it never been on a red carpet before, and I would get out of the car, and I'd never seen at that point.

[1326] Like, there must have been 600 people.

[1327] They set bleachers up for people who don't know.

[1328] Like, they'll set bleachers up.

[1329] Literally looks like it, like the Mummers Day parade is the only thing we connected to in Philadelphia.

[1330] It's like, what the fuck is going on?

[1331] Right?

[1332] And you feel that excitement, right?

[1333] And there's, like, cameras and there's a line of, like, cameras of people asking, you could see that.

[1334] And I was like, holy shit.

[1335] And, like, I'm buzzing.

[1336] I get out of the car.

[1337] my cousins right next to me and then I hear that they're like Brad Brad and like this like this core this like wave of like Brad and I'm like holy shit dude fucking alias man I turn and I like wedding crashes I guess I didn't know man wedding crashes really made a stamp and I turn like raise my hand literally raise my hand full up totally proud and as I'm doing that I realize Brad Pitt's behind me. And like this Monica Erica situation, in those seven seconds, when I turned and raised my hand, I thought, Brad, why are they saying Bradley?

[1338] Let that go.

[1339] Oh, my God, I already have a nickname.

[1340] So I turn around.

[1341] I see Brad Pitt.

[1342] I have to lower my hand, which is like a good five feet.

[1343] I have to lower my hand.

[1344] And my cousin is on the floor of the red carpet.

[1345] Looking the color red, like the red, laughing so hard, like his hat falling off on the carpet.

[1346] And the fetal position, he couldn't stop laughing.

[1347] And then I started, we were laughing so hard for like literally about 10 minutes.

[1348] They'd, like, escorted us off the red carpet.

[1349] That is so hard.

[1350] Oh, man. I think I told that story the other day on this show.

[1351] You told it in the Matt Damon episode.

[1352] Oh, in the Matt Damon episode.

[1353] Oh, really?

[1354] What a great guy.

[1355] How about Matt Damon, dude?

[1356] Look, we talk about the most unsung actor, I think.

[1357] He is the fucking greatest actor.

[1358] Did you see Last Dool?

[1359] I just saw Last Duel.

[1360] This motherfucker, dude, is so great.

[1361] It's in everything.

[1362] Have you ever seen The Informant?

[1363] That's my favorite performance of his.

[1364] No. No, I didn't see that.

[1365] You must see the informant.

[1366] Oh, my God.

[1367] I brought it up while he was on here, and he had said that Soderberg thinks that's his best movie.

[1368] I would agree.

[1369] Soderberg thinks that's his best directorial.

[1370] He said it's the only movie that he wouldn't want to change anything after the fact.

[1371] Like he's at total peace with that movie.

[1372] And if you haven't seen it, it's incredible.

[1373] It's incredible.

[1374] But you're right.

[1375] I'm sure he has an ego.

[1376] Everyone's got an ego.

[1377] But seemingly the most ego -less movie star of all time, as far as what he picks, he picks to play bland a lot or quiet or dorky.

[1378] And he's such a kick -ass dude.

[1379] I mean, he's a fucking stuff.

[1380] And think about the diversity of stuff, the versatility.

[1381] It's crazy, man. Can you see?

[1382] I don't think you can see that high up.

[1383] Well, let me...

[1384] I can't see it, no. Hold on, let me tilt.

[1385] It's really important.

[1386] It is pretty important.

[1387] Can you see it now?

[1388] Oh, my gosh.

[1389] Come on.

[1390] He kissed her head, coop.

[1391] He kissed her hat.

[1392] He's the love of my life.

[1393] He's the love of her life.

[1394] Oh, I had no idea.

[1395] So I just sort of non -connected said that whole, like, diatribe about Matt Damon.

[1396] And lo and behold.

[1397] There's him behind you guys.

[1398] There he is.

[1399] That's her number one in a way that I don't even know you and I. I figured that bicep was yours.

[1400] That's hilarious.

[1401] That's Matt Damon.

[1402] Oh, no. Oh, no. He came in with guns blazing.

[1403] Guns blazing.

[1404] The kind you and I like.

[1405] So did he come in recently?

[1406] Yeah, maybe like five months ago or something.

[1407] So did you see the last duel?

[1408] He's incredible on it.

[1409] I haven't seen it yet.

[1410] I'm dying to watch it because he and Ben wrote it together, right?

[1411] Yeah, yeah.

[1412] And Adam Driver, man. He's the real deal.

[1413] He's a fun.

[1414] phenomenal actor.

[1415] He's a phenomenal actor.

[1416] Oh, man. But I did a movie with him.

[1417] We're both from Michigan.

[1418] He was in the military.

[1419] I'm like, oh, this guy and I are going to get along great.

[1420] Just, yeah.

[1421] But you know what?

[1422] Getting back to Monica, you were talking about like, do I find myself in those situations the way Dax is?

[1423] Here's what I, and you tell me, you know this is the truth, I think.

[1424] Like, the reason also why he and I got along so well is I went right into the beta position of our friendship early on.

[1425] I just, I was comfortable there.

[1426] I loved it.

[1427] And I think that Adam, my instinct is that Adam Driver is like, I am not going to beta to this motherfucker.

[1428] And you can't alpha to Dax.

[1429] I'm just really grateful that you said it like that.

[1430] So straightforward because that is my thought, too, that most people, beta, Dax, and yeah.

[1431] And I don't.

[1432] And sometimes that gets us into some trouble.

[1433] And it gets me feeling very like, no one else.

[1434] we'll step up.

[1435] Look, that's probably what was confusing about the period where you were and are so alpha, to me, professionally.

[1436] Right.

[1437] In art, everything's always been clear to me. That's always been the, like, in terms of my life, is like, there's like, in art, things are like, if you don't like me, I don't know what to tell you.

[1438] Like, I know what I think.

[1439] It's like, you know, it's so clear.

[1440] Yeah.

[1441] And then, but in personal relationships and intimacy, and that's, I'm like, I'm at C, or was at C with male relationships.

[1442] and then that changed a long time ago.

[1443] But when we first met, I would idealize men, oh, for sure, and look for father figures and mythologize men, and then they disappoint me because all I've done is projected onto you who I want you to be.

[1444] Oh, my God.

[1445] As you're talking, I've just figured it out.

[1446] I think, not consciously, but I think subconsciously I was aware of that.

[1447] And then I think when you became an enormous movie star, I thought I didn't have a role for you in your life.

[1448] Oh, fuck.

[1449] Oh, dude.

[1450] I think that's probably, yeah.

[1451] You guys are so cute.

[1452] That's pretty heavy, man. That's got to be it.

[1453] I'm like, well, I don't know.

[1454] Yeah, what I...

[1455] There's much better men to idolize than me, and now you have access to all of them.

[1456] I guess my role is ended.

[1457] Oh, God, that's so humiliating to recognize.

[1458] Oh, it's beautiful.

[1459] It's the same thing.

[1460] It's the through line.

[1461] If you think you're not enough, you'll find ways to, you'll find evidence.

[1462] If my story is I don't have a role anymore and I'm not of value to him anymore, then all I'll do is find proof of that.

[1463] Exactly.

[1464] Yeah.

[1465] So like, oh, I guess Leo's Cooper's.

[1466] New me. Like, if he's on the scene, what the fuck am I offering?

[1467] I mean, I worship Leo too.

[1468] Like, what am I going to do?

[1469] I don't have a lane.

[1470] And I just want to, yeah, I want to have a. role.

[1471] I love you.

[1472] Look how fucking cute you are.

[1473] It's insane.

[1474] Wow.

[1475] Well, how about this, though?

[1476] If that was the role and then you outgrew that as you should, then what is my role?

[1477] I'm going to focus on that.

[1478] It's just a confidant.

[1479] We have each other.

[1480] We trust each other.

[1481] We're lucky that we have enough similar experiences to relate to each other in ways that we feel free enough to share without judgment.

[1482] and we trust each other's heart and soul enough to be willing to walk down life together.

[1483] And that's a blessing.

[1484] Yeah.

[1485] That's what we are for each other today.

[1486] I've said it 10 times on here, but I just want to say it in front of you.

[1487] You know, people know about the episode day seven, and it's just, it's solely because of you.

[1488] You're the sole reason I decided to be honest.

[1489] And so I thank you for that.

[1490] And I also thank you for being the person I love.

[1491] listen to.

[1492] So in this weird alpha, beta, whatever thing was established 16 years ago, I definitely seek your counsel and I trust you and I believe you and I need you and I'll need you again is my guess.

[1493] And I hope you'll need me and I hope I can be there.

[1494] Yes.

[1495] What a beautiful thing.

[1496] What a beautiful thing.

[1497] I love you.

[1498] I love you too.

[1499] Well, gang, the movie is called.

[1500] Halled Nightmare Alley.

[1501] It's fucking awesome.

[1502] I got to say, I've thought about it all day long.

[1503] Did you think about it?

[1504] Yeah.

[1505] Yeah.

[1506] It's like it's stuck with me. I'm so glad.

[1507] Like the stuff that makes it maybe like off putting at the initial drop, like you're going to be cold.

[1508] There's a dark story like life.

[1509] And then you earned it.

[1510] Like you earned this experience.

[1511] I went on that ride.

[1512] It was gut wrenching.

[1513] I hated seeing you choose wrong.

[1514] I was there.

[1515] I was cold.

[1516] I was miserable.

[1517] And like all day long I've been thinking about the movie since I woke up.

[1518] It's also so beautiful.

[1519] Every single shot.

[1520] We were saying we wish there were NFTs so we could own images of the movie.

[1521] It's so beautiful.

[1522] One in particular of Coop, remember I said that you should get that NFT it was like a backlit kind of gorgeous sunsetty sitch and I was like, oh, that still is incredible.

[1523] All right, well I love you.

[1524] This has been so fun.

[1525] I'm so glad that we finally did this.

[1526] I want to do a person next time so he can, like, grab each other and maybe wrestle a little bit.

[1527] Thank you.

[1528] Love you guys.

[1529] What's my name?

[1530] Monica.

[1531] Monica, Erica, Padman.

[1532] It's so fun.

[1533] Take care.

[1534] Thank you.

[1535] All right.

[1536] Bye.

[1537] And now my favorite part of the show, the fact check with my soulmate Monica Padman.

[1538] Good morning.

[1539] Good morning.

[1540] It's morning time.

[1541] Morgan time.

[1542] Oh, that's fun.

[1543] What?

[1544] To get out of bed and then within 10 minutes be here.

[1545] You slept in your motorhome.

[1546] I slept in the motorhome in the driveway.

[1547] I'm going to tell you that when you sent the text, you said, Hey, is everyone here just coming to in the moho?

[1548] I got scared.

[1549] Oh, you did?

[1550] Yes, hear me. Oh, Bill Druggy?

[1551] Mm -hmm.

[1552] Yeah.

[1553] Like the Soho Hotel.

[1554] Yeah.

[1555] Well, here's what happened.

[1556] Because it was the holidays, the girls get to sleep with Kristen.

[1557] Sure.

[1558] So then I was like, I could sleep in the bedroom next to it.

[1559] It's got an ooler.

[1560] That's nice.

[1561] I like to stay cool.

[1562] You love that.

[1563] No TV in there.

[1564] Okay.

[1565] Right?

[1566] Yeah.

[1567] So then it was like, well, I guess maybe go downstairs to that bedroom.

[1568] It's got a TV.

[1569] Sure.

[1570] And then I was like, if I'm going to.

[1571] downstairs like man did i sleep good in the motorhome in the dunes it's just such a cave not only are you in the motorhome but then you can slide the door shut for the bedroom so then you're in a box that's fun you're in a coffin yeah now something i underestimated was i was able to sleep to like nine in the dunes in the moho and so underestimated the traffic noise i heard this morning so i got was up at seven i was like oh this didn't pan out because I can hear traffic noise.

[1572] Okay.

[1573] Then I found my way back to sleep.

[1574] And then I woke up and it was virtually 10.

[1575] Well, what's really funny is that I guess that goes to show how accustomed you are to the dunes because the dunes are so fucking loud.

[1576] They're so loud.

[1577] The fact that the traffic here made you wake up, but the dune noise did not make you wake up.

[1578] Yeah.

[1579] There's a curious situation.

[1580] It's like the baby's.

[1581] womb you know that whole thing like that's why i like the moho the noises and stuff is kind of like the womb like it puts you to sleep yeah well i mean i think the real the real trick with the moho is when i'm in the dunes i have no worries like i don't have to get up to ride right you know i got to get up to have breakfast yeah so something about having nothing uh important the next day allows me to sleep just very deeply i told you i went one night without even going peepie in the middle of the night out in the dance.

[1582] That's never happened to you.

[1583] It's been over a year since I got through a night without going wee -wee like an old -timer.

[1584] I didn't go wee -wee, and I thought.

[1585] You never go wee -wee.

[1586] No, I do.

[1587] In the middle of the night?

[1588] Yeah.

[1589] You just as frequently will wake up to go duty.

[1590] Well, that happens sometimes.

[1591] Right?

[1592] That's rare.

[1593] Okay, but it does happen.

[1594] But isn't waking up to pee -pee in the middle night also rare for you?

[1595] I mean, I think my body just gets accustomed.

[1596] Like, if I do it one night, then the next night, it wants to do it again and then again.

[1597] Yeah.

[1598] Like, last night.

[1599] You're habitual.

[1600] Yeah.

[1601] Yeah, yeah.

[1602] I woke up and I was like, I have to pee, but I really don't want to get up.

[1603] Sure.

[1604] So I just held it.

[1605] Right.

[1606] I went back to sleep.

[1607] There you go.

[1608] Anyways, it's a mental trick, the motorhome.

[1609] So I wanted to see if I slept in it in my driveway, I'd have the same mental trick where it's like, I got no worries other than this little box I'm in.

[1610] Yeah.

[1611] Spiral.

[1612] pretty quick in my head within like two minutes.

[1613] Oh, really?

[1614] Yeah, I was like, oh, where to go?

[1615] That's not, that seems red flaggy.

[1616] Okay.

[1617] Could I tell Kristen?

[1618] Uh -huh.

[1619] We have drug tests.

[1620] We should probably just do it.

[1621] Why not just do one?

[1622] Yeah, give it to me. Um, yeah, that's all the thought.

[1623] Those are all the thoughts.

[1624] Yeah, I'll take it.

[1625] Let's go.

[1626] I don't have one.

[1627] A cup of pee behind you.

[1628] I can re -pee in that one and see if the, uh...

[1629] Just pour that syrup out.

[1630] Speaking of, God, We haven't talked about the pee baby in a long time.

[1631] I know someone, I sent it to you, someone commented on a David Ferrier episode of Armchared and Dangerous that they wanted the three of us to make a pee baby together.

[1632] Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[1633] That was such a nice compliment.

[1634] Yeah.

[1635] I hope David took it as such.

[1636] I just feel like a bad parent.

[1637] Neglectful.

[1638] What is the state of that toilet over there?

[1639] I just don't know.

[1640] Has it been ripped out yet?

[1641] No, it's still there.

[1642] Oh, my God, with that pee baby's going on three years old.

[1643] The pee baby's going to be.

[1644] old by the time i move in there i got teach that pee baby to ride a bicycle yeah you really should because it can't be me no i'm not going to be teaching although a pee baby can't really get hurt because of its form because it's liquid so like hit a bush and giggle because the bush would pass through it and then it would reassemble on the other side so okay bt s behind the scenes btc behind the curtain oh btc oh btcc oh btc oh btc DECC, ding, ding, Bradley, Terrence Cooper.

[1645] Oh, this is Coopies?

[1646] Oh, my God.

[1647] Yeah.

[1648] Exactly, Breran's Traudry Cooper.

[1649] We recorded with Bradley yesterday.

[1650] This was a very tight turnaround.

[1651] Very quick, turning.

[1652] So I only have facts from my brain.

[1653] Oh.

[1654] You know what I mean?

[1655] Like, things I could remember that we needed to look up.

[1656] And really the only one was I wanted to pull up the video.

[1657] of the Today's show when they announced his sexiest man alive.

[1658] Oh, that's a great idea because there's no way he's remembering that.

[1659] I mean, I mean, look, I don't want to take away.

[1660] His feelings.

[1661] Yeah.

[1662] We're not saying he didn't feel that way or that wasn't his interpretation of it.

[1663] Exactly.

[1664] But I bet I would see it differently.

[1665] And then the irony that the guest we had on immediately after Bradley yesterday had a story about Bradley being the sexiest man alive.

[1666] Yeah.

[1667] And he did not think it was funny.

[1668] He thought it was very real.

[1669] And very appropriate.

[1670] He was not saying it shouldn't have been him.

[1671] It should be Ryan Gosling.

[1672] He was like, yeah, it should be him and I'm scared.

[1673] That's right.

[1674] That's right.

[1675] What a sweetie.

[1676] What a specimen.

[1677] What a pie.

[1678] A sweetie pie.

[1679] What an s pie.

[1680] That was the only downside of the motor home, by the way, was not to keep bringing it back to the bus, but I had these really high expectations of all the TV.

[1681] I was going to watch because I was going to be by myself.

[1682] Yeah.

[1683] And I'm watching a couple of shows by myself.

[1684] Succession.

[1685] Yeah.

[1686] As you know.

[1687] Yep.

[1688] I'm behind.

[1689] Yeah.

[1690] Season two of the great, which I'm like, can't wait to start.

[1691] Yeah.

[1692] And I could not pull down the Wi -Fi signal out in the moho that I need it.

[1693] I don't know if something's going on with my Wi -Fi in the house, but whatever it was, I got out there with this whole plan.

[1694] I set up, got the TV going, hooked it up to, you know, couldn't do it.

[1695] So the whole point of you doing that.

[1696] Was the laying bed and watch telly.

[1697] Yeah.

[1698] Yeah, but for some reason, Netflix would work.

[1699] Okay.

[1700] Yeah, Hulu was not working for me. Oh, no. Yeah, nor was HBO Go, no, HBO, or I keep calling it that.

[1701] Yeah, HBO Max, Kelly's husband.

[1702] HBO Max, well, let me get into the thing, but when I selected something, it just would never load.

[1703] I just didn't have the power.

[1704] Bummer.

[1705] Yeah, I don't know why I told you that.

[1706] But anyways, one update.

[1707] You tell me stuff.

[1708] I know.

[1709] I'll tell you virtually everything.

[1710] I wish you told me everything, everything.

[1711] Like what?

[1712] What are I missing?

[1713] I don't know.

[1714] Some stuff, I'm sure.

[1715] Okay.

[1716] So you should tell me more stuff.

[1717] Okay.

[1718] So more like historical stuff.

[1719] You think there's more stories that haven't said?

[1720] I like knowing everything.

[1721] Yeah.

[1722] Do you think that's part of like wanting control?

[1723] Yeah.

[1724] Like you'll feel safer if you have all the details.

[1725] Of course.

[1726] Yeah.

[1727] Yeah.

[1728] Well, I'll feel closer.

[1729] Uh -huh.

[1730] Yeah.

[1731] Which is safer.

[1732] Yeah.

[1733] Yeah.

[1734] It's all the same.

[1735] It's all the same thing.

[1736] It's all the same.

[1737] Great jumpsuit today.

[1738] It's a tie -dye, but it's not, it's not sharp tie -dye.

[1739] It's cloudy tie -dye.

[1740] It is.

[1741] It's from this brand called Upstate that I love.

[1742] That is a female, it's like a one -woman show over there.

[1743] Really?

[1744] Yes.

[1745] And I have a couple others of hers that.

[1746] that are thicker, but now they have this new lightweight line.

[1747] And I like it.

[1748] I want to see if you'll like this joke.

[1749] Okay, let's try it.

[1750] I don't know if you will, but I got the scent.

[1751] Fuck, I wish I remembered the name of it because it smells insane.

[1752] Someone sent me a bag of coffee.

[1753] Oh.

[1754] And it smells like there's chocolate in there and all, I mean, you got to smell this package.

[1755] Okay.

[1756] And then on the bottom it says 100 % women owned.

[1757] Awesome.

[1758] Yeah.

[1759] And then I said, and I showed Kristen, I said, there's a hint of pussy in every cup oh my god oh my god you know what i make those jokes i'm expecting the worst and sometimes when they work i'm like really delighted i mean she liked it which i was relieved yeah um a hint of pussy in every cup that was the like that was the tag the commercial it was like just like a folder's one like someone woke up there were fucking cold this morning And then they got their coffee.

[1760] And then he just, here's what it's like, so I'm drinking coffee.

[1761] He goes, hint of pussy in every cup.

[1762] And it's like a really wholesome grandpa.

[1763] It's like you trust it.

[1764] There's nothing even sexual about it.

[1765] It's just an observation and it's positive.

[1766] Oh, wow.

[1767] Yeah, that's funny.

[1768] You can really taste that hint, can't you son?

[1769] He's like taught his son's visiting for the holidays.

[1770] Oh, wow.

[1771] Yeah, the son's 45.

[1772] Okay.

[1773] So, again, everything's, and the granddad's like, it's great to have you home, son.

[1774] Damn.

[1775] You don't really taste that pussy, can't you?

[1776] Oh, God.

[1777] Yeah, that went too far.

[1778] It was bound to, you know.

[1779] Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[1780] You have to cross the line to know.

[1781] Let me see if I can come home with someone with that.

[1782] That is kind of heartwarming and then it could make the air.

[1783] Okay, so it's a father and son.

[1784] Oh, that's making the air.

[1785] Okay, you ready to go.

[1786] Taste that hand of pussy.

[1787] It tastes delicious.

[1788] Son, it's great to have you home for the holidays.

[1789] Yeah.

[1790] What do you think of that?

[1791] It's good.

[1792] It's like a throwaway.

[1793] Yeah, I really try to throw it.

[1794] Okay.

[1795] Last time?

[1796] Throw it again.

[1797] Okay, okay.

[1798] Mm. Or you can taste that hint of pussy.

[1799] Son, it's great to have you home for the holidays.

[1800] Your mother and I have missed you so.

[1801] It's great to be sitting here drinking a warm cup of delicious coffee with you.

[1802] Okay, Dax.

[1803] Thanks, Dad.

[1804] Cut.

[1805] Oh, yeah.

[1806] Yeah, do what happened?

[1807] That was great.

[1808] That was a good ad lib, but you forgot the tagline.

[1809] The tagline is the most important part.

[1810] What is, what is it?

[1811] Oh, I'm sorry.

[1812] What is it?

[1813] It's, uh.

[1814] Because you're dealing with an older actor.

[1815] Sure, sure.

[1816] This is the old text.

[1817] Um, it's, what's the line?

[1818] A hint.

[1819] A hint of pussy.

[1820] Well, at one point I said, I can taste the pussy, but maybe, that went too far.

[1821] That went too far, but he said, there's a hint, hint of pussy in every cup.

[1822] Yeah, just like, um, what do they say with, like, notes?

[1823] Pussy notes.

[1824] Like a wine has cherry notes or something.

[1825] Notes of pussy, you'd say.

[1826] Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[1827] Notes of cherry.

[1828] The tasting notes.

[1829] Yeah.

[1830] Mm, it's a good flavor profile.

[1831] That's great.

[1832] Okay, great, great.

[1833] We got it.

[1834] All right, now I just one last one.

[1835] Oh, one.

[1836] Fun run.

[1837] So this is the grandpa and the grandma.

[1838] And they've retired, and they're sitting on the porch of their cabin in the West Virginia mountains.

[1839] They're on a swing.

[1840] Great, even better.

[1841] They're on a swing overlooking.

[1842] little valley.

[1843] And he says, hmm, good coffee, huh, ma?

[1844] Yes.

[1845] I didn't think I'd like the hint of pussy, but it's delicious.

[1846] Oh, that's nice.

[1847] I like the idea of including including a female voice.

[1848] Yeah, especially for a female on coffee.

[1849] Yeah, I was thinking that actually as a critique, like there's too many men in this.

[1850] I know, and I was probably being way too generic with the notion that men would want that hint, but that's too limiting.

[1851] Right.

[1852] Yeah.

[1853] Well, I guess that was a ding, ding, ding, ding.

[1854] Because acting, directing.

[1855] Something fetched me another cup of this delicious coffee.

[1856] Can't stay away from those subtle hits and flavor profiles.

[1857] Mmm.

[1858] Delicious and wholesome and hearty.

[1859] Strong.

[1860] Are you going to say it?

[1861] Really taste that pussy.

[1862] Okay.

[1863] There we go.

[1864] There we go.

[1865] Okay.

[1866] For usual, we have...

[1867] Wasn't worth the way.

[1868] We've spent 17 minutes on a bit.

[1869] Yeah, yeah.

[1870] Yeah, yeah.

[1871] Sorry.

[1872] It's all right.

[1873] I can go into acceptance mode.

[1874] Yeah.

[1875] You were stabbing your teeth with that.

[1876] Yeah, yeah.

[1877] Because you were getting nervous with this commercial.

[1878] Yeah, I was getting anxiety.

[1879] And I bit off my tongue.

[1880] Yeah, I looked over there and you were.

[1881] We're basically stabbing the front of your teeth, and I heard wood shard breaking.

[1882] I wonder how many I could go through in a day of these toothpicks.

[1883] Can we do one with you now?

[1884] Sure.

[1885] Those toothpicks have just a hint of dick instead of cinnamon flavor.

[1886] You know.

[1887] Let's try it.

[1888] I don't know.

[1889] Let's flip this script.

[1890] I don't want to.

[1891] I don't think that's, okay, God.

[1892] Hmm.

[1893] Oh, yeah.

[1894] There's a hint of dick in there.

[1895] Not bad.

[1896] It's not as good It's not Hint of dick Everything has a hint of dick That's why it's not exciting Yeah, it's true It's not novel It's not novel or proprietary It's not proprietary It's not proprietary Oh my God All right let's move on Let's move on What's the next Order of business The point is that I I tried to find that video But I can't find it I think it's Anne Curry Because it probably doesn't exist Correct So I looked at So he was Sexiest Man in 2011.

[1897] So then I looked at today's show.

[1898] Oh, around the date that they announce it.

[1899] Yeah.

[1900] And so Meredith Vieira was there through June 2011.

[1901] You really did your homework here.

[1902] I know.

[1903] This isn't, this is one of the deepest dives I've seen in some time.

[1904] And Ann Curry was there June 2011 to June 2012.

[1905] It's really weird though when you're like, he was telling the story.

[1906] I wonder if you had this thought.

[1907] He's like, he has a story that you already know that the punchline is this.

[1908] They were shocked that he had been named.

[1909] But as soon as he starts saying, it's Matt Lauer sitting there, it's like, now my mind is completely distracted.

[1910] At Matt Lauer.

[1911] Yes.

[1912] Same.

[1913] Same.

[1914] Yeah.

[1915] And then also going like in some weird way, because I want to be against this, is like, well, it's not really relevant, whatever he said.

[1916] Yeah.

[1917] Oh.

[1918] You know what I'm saying?

[1919] Because like, yeah.

[1920] He doesn't want to give it up to another sex.

[1921] He's got a whole racket going on.

[1922] Like, it's so complicated to hear his opinion on anything.

[1923] Yeah, for sure.

[1924] I know.

[1925] I did took a little detour of my head.

[1926] That's right.

[1927] Like Matt Lauer, so much has changed.

[1928] Yeah, he should have just maybe even said the male host and then the female host said, what?

[1929] Yeah.

[1930] Although, whoever this female host is, I bet.

[1931] It's Ann Curry, I'm pretty sure.

[1932] Well, I think, based on my research.

[1933] Okay, I'm sure Ann Curry is super attracted to Cooper.

[1934] I could almost count on it.

[1935] Well, I will say this.

[1936] This would have made him uncomfortable, but you know.

[1937] this about him i've told you this about him i'm friends with a lot of famous people and really good looking some really good looking ones ashton kutcher so good looking yes a bunch of good looking ones and my friends know that i am friends with these certain people i've never had people just solicit an evening with one of my friends like cooper i've never witnessed it where friends i've had over the years will just be like hey you let him know if he ever needs a safe port and a storm give my number for their vulva for sexual activity.

[1938] Okay.

[1939] They didn't do that like with other friends I've had that are gorgeous.

[1940] He has a magnetism that I don't think he understands.

[1941] But he has to know.

[1942] Well, I bet he tells himself what I tell myself, which is like he can date the girls he likes, but because of this other thing, like because of his, the way he talks or his charisma.

[1943] But that's all, that's true.

[1944] I mean, his face is beautiful, but it's like you, that's exactly what you're just saying.

[1945] You have, Ashton's face is, is perfect.

[1946] Flawless.

[1947] Yes.

[1948] But what you're saying, this magnetism, it, it isn't his face.

[1949] It's this whole thing.

[1950] It's the, um, it might be possible that Coop doesn't see it like women see it.

[1951] Yeah.

[1952] You know, I don't know.

[1953] People are, we're all crazy.

[1954] Yeah.

[1955] You're frustrated because you think he's objectively great looking and you're not, which is you're telling yourselves the exact same thing.

[1956] And you think it's preposterous when he does it, but you don't think it's reposterous when you do it.

[1957] But I don't have evidence telling the other way.

[1958] Because you've never gone out to pursue all that.

[1959] No. It's like like you're saying with him, everyone's just like, give him my number or whatever.

[1960] Like that's not happening for me. If it were.

[1961] Well, everyone in my life is reaching out to me to tell me they're attracted to you, as you know.

[1962] But the only other person I get as many texts about for love interest is you.

[1963] You and Cooper.

[1964] You guys are tied.

[1965] I hate to tell you.

[1966] I got Macklemore the other day.

[1967] Hunt me down on Instagram, tell me his tour manager wants to take it.

[1968] I mean, literally, I receive an incoming request for you weekly.

[1969] You guys keep my phone busy.

[1970] I think we're similar.

[1971] You and Koo?

[1972] Yeah.

[1973] Yeah.

[1974] Well, one thing I can, yeah.

[1975] What?

[1976] You're both master assimilators.

[1977] Uh -huh.

[1978] I think he maybe has the ability to be, what the other person wants.

[1979] Uh -huh.

[1980] Well, like he said, I mean, he said, like, he's beta to you.

[1981] Uh -huh.

[1982] And I'm sure that's something that's, you know, subconsciously, he knows that's what you need.

[1983] That's where I disagree with you.

[1984] Like, you had this moment of deep satisfaction when he had the same opinion of, say, the Adam driver interaction as you would have.

[1985] Maybe it came off like I was thinking about, I don't know anything about the atom for everything.

[1986] Right, right.

[1987] But you had it generalized.

[1988] Yeah, I believe that your easiest relationships are people who are beta to you.

[1989] But you know, you and I, well, we've talked about this before.

[1990] You and I, like the term alpha beta for you means something a little different than it means to me. So, like, Will Arnett's very alpha.

[1991] Yeah.

[1992] And we were great friends.

[1993] But I have lanes.

[1994] Like, I have the fist fighting lanes specifically.

[1995] And there's a subtext of that between men.

[1996] And so for Cooper, I just think Cooper prioritized that aspect a lot that I physically, that was my lane.

[1997] And I'm not looking for beta.

[1998] I'm just who I am.

[1999] I know.

[2000] You know what I'm saying?

[2001] Like, I'm not, I'm not, I'm actually not.

[2002] trying to be alpha or doing anything.

[2003] I'm just like proceeding through life the way I am.

[2004] And then some people find comfort in that.

[2005] Eric, Eric's like, oh my God, I love that.

[2006] I don't have to pick where to eat.

[2007] You always know what you want to do.

[2008] And so in some weird way, that's an alpha dynamic that I'm saying, let's eat here.

[2009] Yeah.

[2010] But a lot of it, I think, is like, it's not as staticy as maybe you.

[2011] I don't think it's status.

[2012] Okay.

[2013] I do not think And I'm just incredibly decisive.

[2014] I know exactly what I want to do all the time I want to do it.

[2015] And I have a bunch of different hobbies.

[2016] And I usually am invite people to my hobbies and my explorations, right?

[2017] So I think that that is a dynamic that is you could call alpha.

[2018] But like Coutcher's super alpha.

[2019] And he was the alpha the whole time.

[2020] And still, even when I worked on Punkder, I worked on the ranch, like he's the boss.

[2021] He's number one.

[2022] He's best looking.

[2023] He's all these things.

[2024] And that way he's alpha but he too knows it's not going to be a fun fist fight so men just have this weird the fistfight thing is is often present more than it should be but it is but it is but even that's not the case because there are alphas who aren't the toughest so i think it's really a complicated concept it is a complicated concept it's just my observation that yeah that your easiest relationships are ones in which you're the alpha.

[2025] I don't think you're choosing that.

[2026] I'm not saying you're doing anything here.

[2027] And when I approach Adam, I'm not trying to alpha him.

[2028] I'm literally going, oh, my God, dude, you're from fucking cold water.

[2029] No one's from cold water.

[2030] I happen to spend a ton of time there as a kid.

[2031] These are all like, oh, my God, you know cold water?

[2032] None of that's happening.

[2033] Yeah, but I'm not talking about that.

[2034] I'm not even, honestly, I'm not even talking about the relationship level of Ashen.

[2035] I mean, I know you guys are close, but I mean like your people, people.

[2036] Uh -huh.

[2037] But Kristen's not beta to me and you're not beta to me. So I'm just a very alpha person.

[2038] You're a very alpha person.

[2039] Kristen's a very alpha person.

[2040] Don't you think those relationships are not your easiest?

[2041] No, no. Exactly.

[2042] Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[2043] That's what I'm saying.

[2044] Yeah, yeah.

[2045] I think you also respect people who are also alpha.

[2046] Like I don't think you're like, ugh, like I can't have that.

[2047] Okay, good.

[2048] That's what I was fearful.

[2049] You thought like I try to surround myself with beta people.

[2050] No, I don't think that at all.

[2051] But I think that dynamic presents itself a lot because you are very strong in alpha.

[2052] And people know that that's an easy, that makes the relationship nice and easy and you can have a nice little bow on top of it.

[2053] Sure.

[2054] Something we, me and you don't have and something I don't think you and Kristen have.

[2055] Yes, yes, yes.

[2056] And I would say me and her are probably the only ones who are not actively like.

[2057] yeah you make all the decisions you do whatever you yeah yeah and my mom yeah yeah she's a tough customer yeah uh -huh yeah so i don't know it's just all it's it's interesting yeah but i was gonna say we're similar design design yeah yeah yeah yeah big time when he said that he like can put himself to sleep by like thinking i'm like god that's so me i just imagine like and i put this here and then I'll buy this.

[2058] Roll plane with your furniture and your decoration.

[2059] Yeah.

[2060] I don't, I certainly don't do that.

[2061] You don't have a need, from what I can tell.

[2062] A need for like spatial control.

[2063] No. That's interesting because I think you do need a lot of control, but it doesn't present itself like that for you.

[2064] It's also like when I live by myself at my house, I had a lot of opinions on everything.

[2065] Yeah.

[2066] And then when Kristen came in, I was like, like, this is a lane that's going to be just, we're going to battle so much unless I get out of the way.

[2067] Yeah.

[2068] And I largely have and it's gone better for me. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[2069] I mean, I have the occasional, like, what the fuck is this thing?

[2070] This is like so fashioned forward, no function.

[2071] Why is this here?

[2072] I'll have those occasional thoughts, but or even weirder, you know, my, my triggers all from being 14.

[2073] Yeah.

[2074] Or I'll see something.

[2075] I'm like, everyone has that.

[2076] Like, I get bummed that this is.

[2077] Oh, that's funny.

[2078] That we're in the...

[2079] Conforming.

[2080] In the middle of a trend.

[2081] Yeah.

[2082] I get that.

[2083] That we've succumbed to some trend.

[2084] That'll piss me off.

[2085] Certain like slogans on paintings will piss me off.

[2086] You know, like work hard or whatever.

[2087] I'm like, yeah.

[2088] Everyone's got to work hard.

[2089] Oh, goodness.

[2090] Oh, my goodness.

[2091] Yeah.

[2092] And my deep internal fear that I'd be caught trying to actually play the game and then I'd be doing it wrong.

[2093] I mean, that's the real fear.

[2094] It's like, if I participate, the thing.

[2095] everyone's doing, but I'd get it wrong and everyone else got it right.

[2096] I'd rather just not participate, then I won't look stupid.

[2097] You just reject it before it can reject you.

[2098] That's right.

[2099] That's right.

[2100] Yeah.

[2101] I can, I can do that.

[2102] Like even like I told you, I had a, I had a pair of Zika Vreeches, maybe two.

[2103] And I never had Jordie.

[2104] Well, I did end up having Jordy's like in 11th grade.

[2105] It's something I got all A's or whatever.

[2106] But I had Nike escapes, which were really nice.

[2107] Okay.

[2108] They were a hundred bucks.

[2109] But they weren't Jordans.

[2110] Okay.

[2111] And because I couldn't really keep up with the Jordan game, I was like, I'm betting on these shoes.

[2112] No one has these.

[2113] And I'm wearing Carhart overalls to school.

[2114] Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[2115] Yeah.

[2116] Because I'm afraid I can't get the other stuff exactly right.

[2117] Yeah.

[2118] It's sweet.

[2119] This is fun.

[2120] This is more like a therapy session than a fact check.

[2121] That's what we do.

[2122] But the episode was kind of a therapy session.

[2123] Yeah.

[2124] Yes.

[2125] There was a lot of longing gazes.

[2126] Oh, right.

[2127] that the listener won't know about it.

[2128] The listener won't see.

[2129] Yeah, I wonder if you can see the look, like, if you can feel the look on Cooper's face at any point, because there's a couple times it was really sweet.

[2130] Yeah, he did.

[2131] He was giving you a lot of special looks.

[2132] Yeah.

[2133] Yeah.

[2134] You guys have a special thing.

[2135] It's nice.

[2136] We do.

[2137] And you know what's crazy is I don't, I did not put everything together until that interview.

[2138] What was always being suggested to me by the few people I would include in, like the trials of being friends.

[2139] Yeah.

[2140] I think many people thought it was about him ascending in popularity and that being hard for me. Yeah.

[2141] And which ironically is the case, but it wasn't for the reason that I think people were suggesting.

[2142] Like that you were jealous.

[2143] Yes.

[2144] Or that I couldn't handle being beta number two career wise.

[2145] Oh, I see.

[2146] And that never felt right to me, right?

[2147] I was just like, I know that's the eye.

[2148] obvious thing.

[2149] And if I'm doing a four step, that's, you know, and I have a fear of status.

[2150] It's all right there.

[2151] But I just in my heart, that wasn't it.

[2152] Yeah.

[2153] But it was that I didn't think I had a role for him anymore.

[2154] It was a fear that like, well, if Leonardo's on the scene, I don't have a role.

[2155] I'm like I was a stepping stone towards some other greatness and now I'm useless.

[2156] But not like, oh, he thinks he's a hot shot or, you know, he thinks he's so big.

[2157] None of that ever happened.

[2158] Yeah.

[2159] But definitely, well, I guess my time is done.

[2160] Fears happened.

[2161] But it's never true.

[2162] My guess is for him, you were safe.

[2163] You were in a box.

[2164] You were already there.

[2165] You were already his best friend.

[2166] Yeah.

[2167] He's not replacing you.

[2168] There's just this additional stuff happening.

[2169] Yeah.

[2170] But you feel replaced.

[2171] Because I don't see him much.

[2172] Yeah.

[2173] Which is probably for other factors.

[2174] Yeah.

[2175] And in his head, I'm sure he's, He's like, wait, but you, where'd you go because you were always supposed to be there?

[2176] You're permanent.

[2177] Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[2178] I hope you could hear that.

[2179] Oh, yeah.

[2180] It wasn't.

[2181] I've felt that way for the last couple years since we reconnected over the kid stuff.

[2182] That's good.

[2183] Yeah.

[2184] Well, I'm grateful you have them.

[2185] I'm grateful that there's people who you can hear and respect.

[2186] It's good.

[2187] There's a lot.

[2188] I've got a good handful.

[2189] That's good.

[2190] Yeah.

[2191] you're in that list thanks you christin tom hanson cooper there's a lot of people i'm afraid of my mom i'll lay something out for my mom sometimes and she'll go yeah i can understand why you feel that way do you think it's possible blank and then after you think it's possible the truth's coming yeah um all righty well it's It's after Thanksgiving, so I've done, today will be my fourth day of gift guide.

[2192] Oh, wow.

[2193] I hope you guys have been following it.

[2194] Oh, my God, you're really.

[2195] This is so weird, we're like, we're living in the future.

[2196] You're like writing checks that your future self is going to have to cash.

[2197] That's right.

[2198] Boxing myself in.

[2199] Sometimes you got to.

[2200] Sometimes you got to put yourself in a box.

[2201] You do your best work.

[2202] Got to.

[2203] Well, I love you.

[2204] Love you.

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