MFM Minisode 127

[0] This is exactly right.

[1] Welcome to the minisode of my favorite murder.

[2] We read you, your hometown murders and stuff that's happened near your house.

[3] To you, near you, around you.

[4] To your grandparents.

[5] Yeah, upside down from you.

[6] Whatever it is.

[7] If you're in Cirque de Soleil, we want to hear about it.

[8] Yeah.

[9] And Jay, our fucking incredible assistant, picked out the most, I mean, I can't, there's so many good ones.

[10] It's a plethora of riches over there.

[11] here at the old exactly right studios that's right ding ding let us tell you them um i go first sure this just the subject line is regular old hometown oh great nice dear mfm crew my hometown murder is from westchester virginia it is a small town known for their annual apple blossom festival and not much else our story begins in my son's kindergarten class my son had made his first best friend james and james invited him to a birthday party at his house i brought him to the party along with four other parents.

[12] James is a wonderful kid, but his family members were a little less than savory.

[13] His mother Lisa had removed the screen from the front door so she could hang out the doorframe and smoke instead of going all the way outside.

[14] Oh, like one of those double half split doors.

[15] Yeah, she turned it into like a Mr. Ed horse door, but for smoking.

[16] It's kind of brilliant.

[17] That's epic.

[18] That's like a fucking 80s mom right there.

[19] For real, because she's being considerate and not getting that smoke into the pancakes as she makes them.

[20] Oh, Uncle Billy belonged to a motorcycle gang, the Warlocks, and gave each child a dollar in between pounding Keystone Lights.

[21] Yes.

[22] A real favorite of mine in my 20s, Keystone Light.

[23] At 10 a .m. at a child's birthday party.

[24] Oh, hey, look, parties.

[25] Where more do you need a Keystone Light than at a child's birthday party?

[26] It's called brunch.

[27] Do you call it brunch?

[28] Don't act like.

[29] Or a child's birthday party.

[30] It's so much fun with the screaming.

[31] The dad James Sr. had the last.

[32] longest pinky nail I've ever seen.

[33] What the fuck?

[34] It was a real work of art. As a parting gift to this lovely party, grandpa made sure to show each child how he could make his false teeth move up and down while still in his mouth.

[35] I mean, what else are grandpa's for?

[36] That's amazing.

[37] I would be at these people's house every weekend.

[38] Absolutely.

[39] I'd be like, when are you going to start showing us the guns?

[40] Right.

[41] You adopted me. Guess what?

[42] Guess what?

[43] I'm here for the, I want to be here when you go four -wheeling.

[44] Yeah.

[45] I want to be here when you all start a weird fight over a fire.

[46] Okay.

[47] Fast forward a later, James and my son are still good friends at school when one day my neighbor told me about a murder in our subdivision.

[48] Turns out Lisa had arranged to have her current boyfriend Chris and an accomplice murder James Sr. According to our local newspaper, James Sr. and Lisa were in the middle of a split because she'd recently gotten back together with Chris.

[49] So James Sr. went to stay with his cousin.

[50] God, I hope all these names have been changed to protect the innocent.

[51] Yeah.

[52] Anyway, are there any innocence in the story aside from the children?

[53] Who knows?

[54] Think of the children.

[55] That's only the children.

[56] So James Sr. went to stay with his cousin, who lived in my subdivision.

[57] James Sr. roomed in the basement there, and Chris and his accomplice broke in, stabbed him multiple times, and ended up slitting his throat.

[58] Oh, God.

[59] It's horrifying.

[60] James Sr .'s cousins were upstairs asleep.

[61] James Sr .'s the pinky guy, right?

[62] Or the Keystone guy?

[63] No. I think he was just the dad.

[64] Got it.

[65] Yeah.

[66] I don't think James got mentioned in the kind of character.

[67] He wasn't interesting enough.

[68] Sorry, you were exactly right.

[69] James Sr. had the long.

[70] Thank you now.

[71] Thank you.

[72] I apologize.

[73] And I apologize.

[74] Thank you.

[75] Okay.

[76] So, Jane's senior's cousins were asleep upstairs.

[77] They heard nothing.

[78] But when they didn't see him the next morning, they went down to check on him and discovered his body.

[79] It's horrifying.

[80] Once the body was discovered in the first place, the police headed was Lisa's house.

[81] They found her and Chris asleep in a shed behind the property.

[82] Okay.

[83] Why?

[84] Is that like me falling asleep on the couch?

[85] Because I'm watching TV?

[86] What were they doing in that shed?

[87] Yeah, that's a good question.

[88] They were watching British procedural.

[89] God, if I had gotten that out of it, it would be funny.

[90] Because everyone else in the family would give them too much shit, so they have to watch them in the shit.

[91] They don't get us.

[92] Okay.

[93] Okay, go.

[94] He was arrested immediately, Chris was, convicted to murder and received two life sentences plus 25 years.

[95] Much later, Lisa was convicted of being an accessory to murder and sentenced to 10 years.

[96] The motive was murder was quicker and easier than divorce.

[97] Oh, that's horrible.

[98] James still went to school.

[99] with my son until third grade.

[100] I don't know what happened to that poor little boy, but I can't help but think that he's probably better off not being under the care of his mother.

[101] Stay sexy and don't let a drunken warlock give your son money at a children's birthday party.

[102] Beautifully done.

[103] That person makes themselves completely anonymous.

[104] Yeah.

[105] But then everybody else.

[106] Just look up those names.

[107] Yeah.

[108] Okay, this one's called cigarettes kill but can also find a killer.

[109] Ooh.

[110] Okay.

[111] Hey gang.

[112] So I've had a couple of crazy fucked up things happen in my small South Texas town.

[113] I fucking bet you did.

[114] I bet you did.

[115] But feel the closest connection to this one.

[116] So here we go with periods.

[117] That wasn't my emphasis.

[118] Love it.

[119] Back in the spring of 2006, a local CPS worker, which we all know is child protective services.

[120] That's right.

[121] Who was 53 at the time disappeared from her home.

[122] The next day her body was found still in her pajamas in a field, still in her pajamas, still in her pajamas and she had ligature marks on her neck and wrist.

[123] There were also signs of sexual assault.

[124] Immediately the person of interest was, you guessed it, her boyfriend.

[125] friend.

[126] She had been dating a pretty well -known business owner in town on and off for the past several years.

[127] He also happened to be the father of a guy I went to school with.

[128] We weren't super close, but we had mutual friends, and he had come to some of my parties back in high school.

[129] The boyfriend admitted that she had come by his house earlier that night to discuss rekindling their relationship, but claim to have no connection to the murder.

[130] Right?

[131] The cops weren't able to link him to it either.

[132] People then started wondering if the murder could be related to one of her CPS cases that she had worked on.

[133] Oh, yeah.

[134] The case seemed to go silent, at least in the media until five months later when I was home for summer break at my parents' house, and news broke that there had been an arrest.

[135] Apparently, when the piece of shit dumped her body in the field, he had flicked out a cigarette butt next to her.

[136] And then it says, what is this amateur hour?

[137] The cops had been surveilling their suspect, not sure why they decided to focus on him.

[138] When one day, while following him, they were able to scoop up a sig he had thrown out the window and it was a matched to the butt found at the crime scene.

[139] Wow.

[140] Ready for this?

[141] Turns out the killer was.

[142] Then it says, drum roll, please.

[143] the motherfucking son of the boyfriend what yep the guy who used to come to my parties at my house oh my god this is like the best written one because like casually mentioned like oh this is my connection to it and then it's like boom yes well done he tried to claim that they were having an affair and were having rough sex and it was an accident but everyone thinks that's bullshit it is to avoid a possibility of the death sentence he took a plea deal and is currently serving 20 years for kidnapping and a life sentence for the murder so thankfully he will never be able to attend one of my epic ragers again.

[144] Thanks for all your hard work, ladies.

[145] You've provided me with countless hours of entertainment during work, traffic, and community service.

[146] Don't drink and drive people.

[147] Yeah, that's right.

[148] Wow.

[149] Hoping to catch a live show the next time you make it to Texas.

[150] Until then, stay sexy and don't smoke sigs.

[151] Jay.

[152] Wow.

[153] Jay, you gave that one, you're all.

[154] Yeah.

[155] And then you left a little something of humility at the end.

[156] Humility and great advice.

[157] Great advice.

[158] Drunk driving.

[159] I've talked about this before.

[160] for.

[161] It shouldn't even exist anymore.

[162] There's lift.

[163] There's all kinds of ways you can pay people to give you a ride.

[164] Right.

[165] Don't take your, Vince and I, like, we're going to dinner.

[166] We won't take our car anymore.

[167] Right.

[168] Because it's like, we're going to have two drinks.

[169] That's too many for me to drive or for him to drive.

[170] It's not.

[171] It's not.

[172] And but also good to mention because there's the, there's, uh, there's all the repercussions afterwards.

[173] Like you could hurt somebody badly.

[174] You could kill somebody.

[175] You, it's going to cost you a shit ton of money.

[176] It's like 10 grand or something.

[177] So much money.

[178] You could go to jail, which is then there's the emotional.

[179] effect.

[180] But then also, I bet community service isn't that fun.

[181] I've had to do it.

[182] Have you really?

[183] Yeah, I did community service.

[184] For what?

[185] For shoplifting?

[186] No. I think it was the drug one.

[187] Did you have to wear a reflective vest?

[188] No, I had to work at this fucking creepy dudes, like, like metal yard.

[189] What's it?

[190] Like scrap yard.

[191] Yeah.

[192] Yeah.

[193] And he like was, he was a creep, but like all my friends had gone to him when they had community service.

[194] Yeah.

[195] I had great friends.

[196] that's where all the girls went for communities where all they went and so I was there and he was hammering something and the hammer slipped out of his hand he was probably drunk it hit me in the toe and he was like good thing you have steel toe boots on and I fucking didn't and I was like okay that's it this isn't about me stay safe and same okay this just says hometown story great we're getting we're getting back to basics on the minisodes hi karen george's Stephen Pets and anyone else I missed.

[197] Well done.

[198] I'm a new murderino, thanks to my girlfriend, who was a huge fan of you guys.

[199] I always racked my brain for hometowns to send in, but growing up sheltered in South Orange County led me to not being very exposed to any crime happening in my area.

[200] Are you familiar with South Orange County?

[201] I'm from South Orange County, technically.

[202] Is that your spot?

[203] Or it's like Irvine is like the beginning of South Orange County up to like the San Diego line.

[204] Oh, so we're talking the La Jolla area.

[205] We're talking, we're talking San Clemente Laguna Beach.

[206] Is it Richie, Richie, Richie?

[207] Some, and then there's also meth.

[208] Like, it's just like, there's a little of everything there.

[209] At least when I live there.

[210] Okay.

[211] When I told my parents about your podcast, I asked them if they had any hometown crime stories they could think of, both of them growing up in Southern California, and being children of the 60s and 70s.

[212] My mom remembered the Hillside Strangler Fears when she was at Ellie Valley College in the 70s.

[213] Wow, that's right there.

[214] Yeah.

[215] She said that she was very aware of the story but didn't know many of the details.

[216] One night when she'd come back to her home in Burbank, she had seen a car waiting in front of her house with someone inside.

[217] She waited in her car for 15 minutes with the doors locked to see if they would leave, but they wouldn't.

[218] Worried, she honked the car horns so her parents knew she was home, and so they might come outside.

[219] They did, and my mom ran past the car to the front door.

[220] Good for her.

[221] So smart.

[222] Such a smart person.

[223] She remembers watching outside to see what the car was doing.

[224] It would just move to across the street, down the road one house, and then back to the front of her house.

[225] Just periodically moving their parking spot.

[226] They called the police because my mom was freaked out.

[227] When sirens could be heard down the street, the car bolted.

[228] No. She doesn't remember how many people were inside or what kind of car it was.

[229] So I don't know if there were two people or if the car was the two -toned sedan, like you mentioned in episode 114.

[230] But she definitely remembers it happening at the same time and being totally freaked out.

[231] That's my hometown.

[232] Thank God nothing happened, but still think it's a fun, scary story.

[233] Stay sexy and don't get kidnapped right in front of your house.

[234] Johnny from California.

[235] P .S. congrats on the new book.

[236] Oh, that's nice.

[237] One of my best friends.

[238] Shout out Abigail Irvin has one of her pieces of art in it.

[239] Thanks for supporting artists.

[240] Abigail.

[241] It's the ones that the long stick figure.

[242] So talented.

[243] What's her Instagram account?

[244] Is it just Abigail?

[245] Her art is beautiful and like moody.

[246] The first time I saw it, it was the one of the three of us standing together with the butterfly.

[247] It's Abigail and then ERV -I -N.

[248] The butterfly and the cats and it's so cute.

[249] But you know what I was going to say?

[250] Like one of the main reasons I read this one because it is like, no, because I did this story.

[251] So knowing that was a thing they did, they would basically surveil women that they would follow home.

[252] I mean, if it's not them, it's some other fucking creep.

[253] So like the idea that she was smart enough as like, you know, a young college student to just be like, no, I'm not just going to get a, I'm not going to tell myself I'm wrong to be weirded out by this.

[254] I'm going to sit in my car and make my parents come out.

[255] Like, don't be a hero.

[256] Do that.

[257] And trust your gut.

[258] Trust your instinct because so many of us are like, that's crazy.

[259] You're not going to get kidnapped.

[260] Karen, you know I'm all about vintage shopping.

[261] Absolutely.

[262] And when you say vintage, you mean when you physically drive to a store and actually purchase something with cash.

[263] Exactly.

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[266] That's right.

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[273] Connect with customers in line and online.

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[275] Sign up for a $1 per month trial period at Shopify .com slash murder.

[276] Important note, that promo code is all lowercase.

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[278] That's Shopify .com slash murder.

[279] Goodbye.

[280] Okay.

[281] This is called, well, this is a drive -through story and hometown murder.

[282] Yeah.

[283] To whom it may concern.

[284] Mm -hmm.

[285] You asked for drive -through stories.

[286] And while this didn't happen to me, it was in my hometown.

[287] In 2016, a guy threw a live, three and a half foot alligator through a Wendy's drive through a window.

[288] What?

[289] That it says, of course, this is in Florida.

[290] Apparently at 1 .30 in the morning, he ordered food at the speaker, drove up to the window, and when the employee went to hand him his drink, he threw a gator inside and drove away.

[291] This is, look at three feet.

[292] People put three feet up in front of you.

[293] Put your hands just to hand.

[294] outside of your shoulders.

[295] Yeah.

[296] And then put sharp fucking teeth coming out of one end of it.

[297] And like a yellow eye with a split down the middle, like the devil himself.

[298] That's right.

[299] Oh my God.

[300] And he drove away.

[301] He claimed it was a prank, question mark.

[302] I thought the person working in the window was the guy's friend, but I looked up articles on it just now.

[303] And it turns out, no. The poor fast food worker was just trying to make it through the night shift.

[304] He was a swift.

[305] Oh, my God.

[306] Let me see.

[307] Let me see.

[308] There's the, okay, it's bigger than three feet.

[309] There's no way that's a picture.

[310] Stephen just held up the picture from Facebook.

[311] And he looks pissed.

[312] He's pissed.

[313] But this is the problem with the like modern prank culture.

[314] It's pranks are for friends and people you know and people that understand and are into it.

[315] You, you throwing an alligator to fast food worker is a full on assault.

[316] Yeah.

[317] And like unnecessarily bizarre.

[318] Did he order his fries without assault?

[319] No, no, no, no, no. No, too.

[320] It was there.

[321] But that's, Stephen, you're fired.

[322] But it wasn't...

[323] But it wasn't great.

[324] I liked it.

[325] Thank you, thank you, thank you.

[326] Also, the shame is a good part of puns.

[327] That's part of the experience.

[328] I can't stop my mouth from saying this.

[329] Listen to what I just thought up.

[330] Can you put that photo in the Instagram as well?

[331] Because also, he didn't care about that alligator.

[332] I know.

[333] He just threw it and left it behind.

[334] I don't love alligators, but don't be a dick to them.

[335] Yeah.

[336] Okay.

[337] I thought the person working the window was the guy.

[338] guy's friend, but I looked at the articles on it just now, and it turns out that no, the poor fast food worker was trying to make it through the night shift was a stranger.

[339] Bullshit.

[340] Uh -huh.

[341] The judge sentenced this dupus to 75 hours of community service.

[342] Oh, theme.

[343] Didn't do that on purpose.

[344] And a $500 fine and gave us this quote.

[345] In my view, there is absolutely no excuse for taking an animal, particularly an alligator, and throwing it through a window at a total stranger.

[346] And then it says, amen, judge.

[347] Hold on.

[348] Now, if I was, in front of that judge, I'd be like, but...

[349] However.

[350] If you saw that fast food worker and they were wearing crocodile shoes, and then you were from PETA, so you're already kind of on the edge.

[351] Your Honor.

[352] And then you go and you're like, is this how you feel about alligators and crocodiles?

[353] Your Honor.

[354] I'm trying to lighten the world a little with love and joy and funny stories.

[355] Could you imagine?

[356] I'm just saying picture in your mind.

[357] Yeah.

[358] This guy looked bored.

[359] Okay.

[360] Thankfully no one was hurt, including the gator, which was released back into the wild.

[361] Oh, good.

[362] Yeah, okay.

[363] As for my hometown, that gator, like, to all his friends and just like, I think I was kidnapped by aliens.

[364] You won't believe this.

[365] It was really disturbing and it smelled like French fries.

[366] And they're like, Chuck, we don't believe in aliens.

[367] Chuck, you're crazy.

[368] Chuck, don't be crazy.

[369] And they all look exactly like the alien from alien.

[370] Oh, that's cute.

[371] Okay.

[372] As from my hometown, I grew up down the street from a cemetery and with a mom who was a murderer since before I was born.

[373] We went to the cemetery a lot despite not knowing anyone buried there personally.

[374] because it was a quiet place to ride our bikes and rollerblade.

[375] Sure.

[376] My mom would always point out, your mom sounds amazing.

[377] My mom would always point out the graves that she knew the stories behind, which rubbed off on me. When I first started dating my now fiancé, I gave her the murder tour of my town.

[378] Thanks for not running away, sweetheart.

[379] The one I remember the most was the grave of a teenage girl named Rachel Hurley.

[380] On March 17, 1990, Rachel was outboating with her friends and was supposed to meet her mom in the parking lot of a near -year -old.

[381] by beach.

[382] She never showed up.

[383] Her family and friends searched for her for hours in the rain and they finally found her that evening in the woods on the shore.

[384] She had been raped and strangled and she was just 14 years old.

[385] The 30th anniversary of her death is coming up and her case is still unsolved.

[386] Oh no. I know.

[387] The local sheriff's office made a Twitter account for her at Rachel Hurley 90.

[388] Will you spell that?

[389] R -A -C -H -E -L -H -U -R -L -E -Y and then the number 90.

[390] I hope that the online community of sluice can help finally crack her case.

[391] Mom, use that story as a warning for me and always told me to stay away from the woods.

[392] I'm fucking telling you guys at the beach, no matter how fun they looked.

[393] I'm 33 now and still look at them with suspicion.

[394] Anyway, thank you for putting into audio form the conversations I've been having with my mom since childhood.

[395] Stay out of the forest.

[396] Sarah.

[397] Yeah, Sarah.

[398] Sarah.

[399] Wow, that was a great.

[400] Thank you.

[401] Yeah, great job.

[402] So much.

[403] God, that would be amazing if Citizens Slews, who are solving cases, left right and center every day would take up because it's the 30th anniversary would take that up and see it's just it's just a 14 year old girls rape and murder and saw it for that long it's just there's no reason aside from not having evidence you know but yeah now there is DNA because i've been watching um since we're off the road i really miss frantic files and so i went to netflix and just started just watching it that way um but it's so funny because it sounds like that's right in that time where it was like just beginning.

[404] The DNA thing was just beginning.

[405] And there was little bits and then they destroyed like evidence trying to get that.

[406] Yes, right.

[407] Right.

[408] So it's like the re -approach and retesting stuff.

[409] I wonder if that could really make a difference.

[410] Let's do it.

[411] Will you say the name one more time?

[412] Rachel Hurley 90.

[413] Okay, great.

[414] On Twitter.

[415] On Twitter.

[416] Awesome.

[417] Now listen to this subject line.

[418] We didn't stay out of the forest and we almost got murdered.

[419] What is happening?

[420] This is meant to be It just says, yellow.

[421] Love it.

[422] Like the color.

[423] I know one of the first rules is to stay out of the forest, and of course, SSDGM.

[424] But when I was a junior in high school, about 10 years ago, my friend and I may have broken the staying out of the forest rule, and I'm so happy we stayed sexy and, in fact, did not get murdered.

[425] So it was a weekend on an early summer day, and I was on my way to my friend Chloe's house.

[426] We were planning on camping out in her backyard and having a fun girl's night.

[427] with high schoolers essentials, shitty weed, and a handle of $10 vodka.

[428] Oh, God.

[429] Can I just say this about the bad vodka?

[430] Yeah.

[431] Whatever you need to do, whether it be just save for another week or steal $10 out of your mom's purse, which I'm not advocating yet at the same time.

[432] You just said it.

[433] You don't have to bottom shelf the vodka.

[434] Yes, you do.

[435] Get up out of the Winters Cup area and get into some decent brand.

[436] It'll kill you.

[437] I feel like my years of hangovers from shitty alcohol has made me drink less in general.

[438] You know, like even now when I can afford Tito's, let's say.

[439] Oh, I see.

[440] You know what I mean?

[441] Like, I don't overdo it because that one night on my 21st birthday when I drank just an absolute fucking bottom trash covered in dust in the back of the fucking shelves at the liquor store and vomited in the gutter.

[442] Yeah.

[443] So don't do that again, Georgia.

[444] Okay, you know what?

[445] You're right.

[446] These are guardrails in high school.

[447] We put up for ourselves where it's like, yeah, I will never drink gin again.

[448] Well, I won't drink anything again, but I really, if I had to go back, I would never go back to gin.

[449] Just don't buy the shitty whiskey, because that'll give you a fucking hangover.

[450] Buy the shitty vodka.

[451] What are we talking about?

[452] The shitty vodka is better than the shitty whiskey.

[453] I'm just saying you deserve better than the shitty vodka.

[454] No, you don't.

[455] Not if you're 20.

[456] John Karen does his thing.

[457] You miss it up with pink lemonade.

[458] That's right.

[459] She missed it up with pink, pink lemon.

[460] Okay.

[461] It was midday.

[462] and we were having some lunch before we were going to pitch the tent.

[463] That's also smart.

[464] Put down that base layer of food.

[465] Oh, 100%.

[466] If you're going to drink $10 vodka.

[467] There you go.

[468] Chloe, being a year younger than me and not quite as rebellious as myself, was worried that her parents were going to smell the weed because our tent was going to be so close to the house.

[469] They would have.

[470] I told her not to worry, but if it made her feel better, we could move further back into the yard.

[471] That's when Chloe had the bright idea of camping in the unoccupied summer campgrounds that the entrance was right now.

[472] Have you never seen a horror movie?

[473] I mean, they were like, do you want to stay here in the safety zone?

[474] Right.

[475] Or do you want to go into the living horror movie?

[476] Oh, my.

[477] Love it.

[478] Of course, I obliged.

[479] I was used to camping in the woods.

[480] I was a Boy Scout at the time, in parentheses.

[481] I'm a girl.

[482] I love it.

[483] Amazing.

[484] So we told her mother our plans, and we loaded the tent in the back of my truck and drove down the long camp driveway deep into the forest.

[485] Dude.

[486] Horrifying.

[487] This really is the beginning of a horror movie.

[488] For being in the summer camp.

[489] There weren't many open spaces, and it was quite wooded.

[490] We found the most open area we could near a cabin and set up camp.

[491] Before long, it was getting dark, so I'd started a fire, and Chloe and myself had started our night of doing bad things that high schoolers shouldn't do.

[492] After a few hours, we were drunk and high and decided it was time to go into the tent and fall asleep.

[493] I doused the fire pretty well, leaving a small flame, so we had a little light.

[494] Don't worry, I'm from New England.

[495] Everything is wet, and I wasn't worried about wildfire.

[496] I trust you.

[497] Thank you.

[498] You know more than...

[499] You know more than...

[500] If you can start a fucking fire in the woods, then you know enough about it to take care of it.

[501] Yeah.

[502] I couldn't start a fire and I shouldn't be left alone with a fire that someone else started.

[503] Yeah.

[504] Look, you can rely on a girl boy scout to get in there and handle shit.

[505] Clearly that's what she's about.

[506] That's right.

[507] She's a truck for fuck sake.

[508] Yeah.

[509] Hell.

[510] Come on.

[511] Okay.

[512] So, we were laying down for a few minutes still laughing and giggling when we heard a stick break.

[513] Like something or someone was walking outside.

[514] That's when we noticed, see, this is when $10 vodka does not help you.

[515] That's right.

[516] That's when we noticed the fire was much bigger than it had been after I threw water on it.

[517] I told Chloe not to worry that it would probably just relit itself like fires do sometimes, which that never happens.

[518] But when I peeked out of the tent, I noticed two or three new logs had been placed on the fire and then 25 exclamation points.

[519] Chloe and I started to panic and my truck was as good, was a good 50 feet away.

[520] and we were not about to sprint that far with someone outside our tent.

[521] Then we heard fucking laughing and at least two male voices.

[522] Chloe was crying at this point and I told her we had to get out of there as fucking soon as possible.

[523] All caps.

[524] Thank the good Lord.

[525] I had one bar of service on my phone and we were able to call her mom to come and get us.

[526] Oh, my God.

[527] Longest five minutes of my life waiting for her car to pull up.

[528] We grabbed our backpacks through all of the water on the fire, hopped in Chloe's mom's car and noped the fuck out of there.

[529] We then came back to the next morning to get the tent and my truck.

[530] And as I was too fucked up to drive the five minutes down the trail back to Chloe's house the night before.

[531] Stay safe and sane.

[532] Yes.

[533] That's a really, it was a really good call.

[534] Yeah.

[535] We never found out who it was or what their intentions were, but I will absolutely never camp in the forest again unless there is at least 10 people.

[536] Stay sexy and fucking just stay out of the forest to avoid potential murder, bails.

[537] Hilarious.

[538] Great job.

[539] That was an epic story.

[540] It was so good.

[541] Okay, here's my last one.

[542] Okay.

[543] I'm not going to tell you the name of it.

[544] Okay.

[545] But it's lighthearted.

[546] Hey, Georgia, Karen, Stephen, and all furry associates.

[547] I've been listening to your podcast since January and have now completed all the current episodes.

[548] I'm obsessed.

[549] I don't have a hometown to share, but I figured you would love to hear about the time my older sister and I's dress up went horribly wrong.

[550] Yes.

[551] We were originally from NYC, but we moved upstate when I was nine and my sister was 12 so we can have a better life, a .k .a. my parents didn't have to worry about us being kidnapped when we walked home alone from schools.

[552] Yes, they do.

[553] Yeah.

[554] Um, both of my parents are in the NYPD.

[555] And all we knew about their jobs at that time was that they were basic cops.

[556] And sometimes we would be left alone in the house while they worked overnight.

[557] On to the story.

[558] My sister and I were home during the first few weeks we had moved into our new house.

[559] Since we had come from an apartment, we were fascinated by all the closets in our new home that my parents were using for box storage till they could unpack.

[560] Like, What a thing that you don't think about that you're like, I'm from an apartment and then suddenly you have closets.

[561] Closet space and...

[562] Why are there so many doors?

[563] Yeah.

[564] Being the nosy little shits we were, we snuck into our parents' room to go through the three closets they had.

[565] While going through my mom's single closet, my sister had come across a bag we had never seen before.

[566] Upon further inspection, we realized the bag was filled with, all caps, wigs.

[567] So many colorful wigs.

[568] What?

[569] Obviously, this revelation meant one thing, all caps.

[570] fashion show night and 12 how fun like you stop fighting for 10 minutes so you can fucking have a fashion show so you can do a full on wig show that's right we got all dialed up in our Sunday best with neon wigs and danced through the house to old J -Lo songs hell yeah it was magical until my mother came home early to find my sister and I not in bed and each sporting a three foot long blonde wig how fun like I want to do that now as an adult we should wig party let's do it we thought she would be mad but she burst to laughter and took a million embarrassing pictures.

[571] Okay, please send us one of those and we'll post it.

[572] Oh, we'd love it.

[573] After she calmed down, she sat my sister and I down to explain where the wigs had come from.

[574] It was then that we learned that my mom was no basic cop.

[575] She was an undercover narcotics detective.

[576] Hell yes, she was.

[577] She used the wigs to go undercover to clubs and gang parties to burst, nope, to, yeah, to burst drug dealers, it says.

[578] And she meant us.

[579] I think so too.

[580] Or burst them like balloons.

[581] Yeah, burst their egos.

[582] low, both low level and kingpins.

[583] Wow.

[584] I always knew my mom was a badass, but I had no idea she was out in the streets, keeping us safe while also rocking the perfect lavender bob cut.

[585] Stay sexy and maybe don't go through your mom's closet and play with wigs that most definitely have gunpowder on them.

[586] Kay.

[587] Oh my God.

[588] Hey.

[589] I love it.

[590] So many good ones this week.

[591] So many good ones.

[592] You guys, first of all, please, if you have a wig party this week because of that email that we just read you please send us pictures yeah please do wigs wig party thanks for listening you guys send your shit to my favorite murder email and also our brand new beautiful website my favorite murder dot com you can submit your stories there and it's so gorgeous take a look at what we're doing over there there's some polls you might want to take there's some fan cults you might want to join the fan cult is so much better yeah it's awesome it's so exciting thanks guys stay sexy and don't get murdered goodbye Elvis one cookie Why?