#164 - Shane Smith (Part 2)

[0] That was awesome.

[1] That was amazing.

[2] There's nothing cooler than meeting someone that you admire or you enjoy their stuff and then actually getting to hang out with them.

[3] And then him being just as cool as you thought he was.

[4] Exactly as cool.

[5] Like when we got Anthony Bourdain, I think he was a little hungover.

[6] I liked it.

[7] It was great.

[8] I could tell that he wanted to drink and smoke a lot more than...

[9] Than we gave him?

[10] Than we gave him.

[11] He would love it here probably, right?

[12] Yeah.

[13] Well, the problem was this is a much better view.

[14] You can see each other really clearly.

[15] And before we had monitors in front of everybody.

[16] You couldn't tell if a guy had no beer in front of him.

[17] So you couldn't keep it coming.

[18] I actually found out that he wanted another beer by Twitter.

[19] I just looked over and I guess he had been like knocking his...

[20] Why didn't he just say, can I have another beer?

[21] I don't know.

[22] That's what I would say.

[23] I guess people don't get it.

[24] It's like super relaxed here.

[25] Yeah, I guess that's it.

[26] Everyone feels like it's an interview.

[27] I mean, that's what we got in trouble with the Jan Irvin thing where we didn't want it to be an interview.

[28] You were friends, man. I've known you for a fucking decade.

[29] Let's have a conversation.

[30] Can we have a conversation?

[31] Instead of it being an interview.

[32] Speaking of, Dennis McKenna just reached out to me, Terrence McKenna's brother.

[33] Oh, no way.

[34] He wants to do the podcast.

[35] Is he in the same line as him or is he like that brother that doesn't like no gust and just dates chicks?

[36] He's written like some peer -reviewed papers on psychedelics and worked for a bunch of different companies that have used plants for medicine.

[37] And he's a professor up in, I believe he's in Vancouver.

[38] I think he's in Vancouver, British Columbia.

[39] I think that's where he's up.

[40] So hopefully we can get him down here, get him on the podcast too.

[41] But the ability to do this, man, is fucking amazing.

[42] For me, this podcast is one of the most fun things we've ever done.

[43] It's starting off from a fucking laptop.

[44] In my office.

[45] Snowflakes.

[46] And then two years later.

[47] And really two years later because we're only a couple weeks away from our anniversary.

[48] And I want to do an anniversary show here at the Ice House.

[49] I'm thinking like December 23rd.

[50] We have just a full Death Squad show.

[51] Let's see if they have the main remote.

[52] Actually, I have a date for you that I was going to ask about after the show that I think was something like that.

[53] One of those days.

[54] Well, we should do that.

[55] Have it not just be a show, but have it be a party.

[56] Because, man, oh, and folks, if you don't know, we got a thing called the Ice House Chronicles.

[57] And the Ice House Chronicles are on the Death Squad label podcast.

[58] And what Death Squad is, it's the podcast label that Brian runs.

[59] And it's all our friends that are stand -ups.

[60] And Sam Tripoli has a podcast there.

[61] The Naughty Show.

[62] Tom Segura and his wife, Christina, they have a podcast called Your Mom's House.

[63] There's a bunch of podcasts.

[64] But one of them is called the Ice House Chronicles.

[65] And if you don't know, our podcast studio is located at the Ice House in Pasadena.

[66] Please don't stalk us.

[67] show what we do is we have a room where we have this setup where there's a podcast and it's 10 steps away from the stage you open this door more than 10 steps but you know you walk out the door walk out another door take a laugh You're right in the comedy club.

[68] So we have everybody go from this podcast right on stage and then off stage right back in the podcast.

[69] And it is one of the most fun fucking things we've ever done.

[70] That last one we did was just amazing.

[71] Incredible.

[72] Amazing.

[73] We had Bert Kreischer.

[74] We had Joey Diaz.

[75] We had Ari Shafir.

[76] We had – who else?

[77] Did Felicia do a set?

[78] No, Eleanor did a set.

[79] Eleanor Carrigan.

[80] Rick Ingram.

[81] Rick Ingram.

[82] John Heffron was here.

[83] John Heffron.

[84] I went up.

[85] I closed the show.

[86] Doug Benson.

[87] Yeah.

[88] No, was Doug Benson here?

[89] He's been here before.

[90] He was with me all weekend.

[91] He was here in spirit.

[92] He was in Vegas all weekend.

[93] Well, we did a show.

[94] We did Steve Renazzisi's show.

[95] Steve Renazzisi had a show at the Palms.

[96] And then afterwards, Dom Arrera went up.

[97] And then after Dom Arrera, I went up.

[98] It was a lot of fun.

[99] We've got to get Dom on the podcast, too.

[100] Dom Marrera is fucking hilarious, and he's super old school.

[101] He's been around for— Yeah, he'd be interesting.

[102] Yeah, he's a great guy, too.

[103] He's a really good guy.

[104] I play pool with him.

[105] We try to play as much as possible, but he plays really good pool.

[106] We get together.

[107] It's funny.

[108] He brought up that— that movie Enter the Void and Irreversible.

[109] And one of the things I hated about the movie was that how there's like parts in it where it's just like seizures.

[110] Like it's flashing strobe lights in your eyes for like five minutes, you know, and you're just like, all right, I have to.

[111] Which one, Enter the Void?

[112] And both of them I think have it, but Enter the Void is the one that I remember the most where you're just, I just had to look away from the TV.

[113] And it was weird because last night I was reading about this urban legend from the 80s that it's an arcade game.

[114] And I read this on Kotaku .com.

[115] It's a video game called, I think it's called Poly Bias.

[116] Is this the one that gave people seizures?

[117] Yeah, it gave you seizures, and supposedly the urban legend is the CIA was testing it out in the 80s in arcade games and doing messages to it to try to...

[118] get information from it like once a week.

[119] Subliminal messages?

[120] Yeah, like it would have like random tests.

[121] But this is all.

[122] Isn't it crazy that they actually used to do that when you would go to the movies?

[123] They would actually have like subliminal messages.

[124] Hungry?

[125] Eat popcorn.

[126] They would have that like in the film.

[127] Where you would be watching.

[128] I don't know if they actually did it during the movie or did they do it during commercials.

[129] I think they did it during the actual movie.

[130] Here's actually the video game now if you look on the monitor right there.

[131] That's supposedly what supposedly it looked like.

[132] I'm not sure if this is the actual game.

[133] That's what it looks like when you do DMT.

[134] But this is supposed to be the video game.

[135] You can see on the right side there's a spaceship that you're shooting.

[136] I don't know.

[137] This might give us...

[138] This geometric pattern in the center and all that swirlingness and everything like that.

[139] Listen on iTunes.

[140] How do you say this?

[141] How do you spell it?

[142] Oh, the game?

[143] It's P -O -L -Y -B -I -U -S.

[144] Say that?

[145] Polybius, I would say.

[146] Wow.

[147] It looks like a psychedelic trip.

[148] What I was going to say is I wonder if you can recreate with virtual reality, if you could recreate the visuals of a psychedelic trip.

[149] I wonder if it would make you trip.

[150] I wonder if it could trigger something in your brain.

[151] Remember when people used to phone freak?

[152] Do you remember that shit?

[153] Do you remember what that was?

[154] No. Hackers figured out a way.

[155] The way the phone system used to work, certain tones, like when you would dial someone, when you would call someone, you had certain tones that would allow you to make free long -distance calls.

[156] It would set off trips.

[157] Somehow or another, you could put a device up to the phone, and that device would make the noises of certain numbers, and it would open up switches for you, and you could make free long -distance calls.

[158] Yeah, it's like there was a sound, and that sound hacked the system.

[159] Kind of like what a modem does.

[160] Like it goes...

[161] Something, but it was...

[162] I don't know the exact...

[163] I think it was like phone sounds, though.

[164] I think it just sounded exactly like a phone, but without you actually having to dial it.

[165] But if you could do something like that, something along those lines visually, and make...

[166] make a person have a psychedelic trip, that would be fucking bizarre shit, man. Could you imagine if they could recreate, they figured out a way to do it with computers or whatever, recreate what it's like when you're having a crazy mushroom trip and then just let people try that without actually having to take a drug.

[167] Yeah, I'm sure it could be done because they do it with sound also now, don't they?

[168] They have like those things.

[169] I forget the guy's name.

[170] Some guy sent me something.

[171] He has a company that you put your headphones on and you lay back and the sounds kind of put you in like a trance.

[172] Yeah.

[173] It's kind of like that with visuals though for mushrooms.

[174] Yeah, I know a dude who's into that, but man, that stuff, I don't like talking to people about that, especially when they're super enthusiastic about it.

[175] Why is that?

[176] So I'm not going to do that.

[177] I'm not going to sit and listen to some fucking music that reprograms my brain.

[178] You are healthy.

[179] You are wonderful.

[180] I mean, what is it doing?

[181] What is it saying to you?

[182] Yeah, exactly.

[183] I would rather just...

[184] I mean, if I was in a bad place and I was trying to become a positive person and get off the crack and not kick my dog, then maybe I'd be down for that.

[185] But I only have a certain amount of time to be introspective in this life.

[186] That's funny that you have to go to Today's show tomorrow.

[187] We were talking earlier that you should just fucking get blitzed or you should wear red lipstick.

[188] Red lipstick might be a good move.

[189] Maybe some rouge because it's outside.

[190] Maybe some like...

[191] Mary Poppins Rouge.

[192] Maybe don't even make it that noticeable.

[193] Make it like it's just that line that goes around your lip only and then like eye shadow.

[194] Like really dark eye shadow like twilight style.

[195] Maybe I put a black circle around my eye like Petey the dog from Little Rascals.

[196] And you just like don't talk about it.

[197] Like have, you know, you can't talk about it.

[198] Maybe a fake nose ring or something.

[199] Dude, that's perfect.

[200] Why don't you do something?

[201] Fake nose ring.

[202] I don't know.

[203] I usually just want it to be over.

[204] Have fun with it, man. It's promoting any sort of a TV show.

[205] It's like, you know, watch it or don't watch it, man. It's like, I don't know.

[206] Yeah, but if you do it and then people talk about it on Twitter, it's more promotion and it's more people talking about the Today Show.

[207] Yeah, but we already talked about it, so now people are like, oh, what are you going to do more stunts?

[208] What are you going to marry a Kardashian?

[209] What's next, stupid?

[210] That's why you have to do something that's embarrassing to yourself, like wearing red lipstick.

[211] Have you ever thought about that?

[212] Because when you look at someone like Kim Kardashian and you look at all these people, you like to play little games.

[213] You like to do little pranks, little shit like that.

[214] You like to troll people.

[215] Have you ever thought about getting on some sort of a reality show?

[216] Because eventually someone's going to offer that to you.

[217] Well, I think this podcast is the biggest reality show.

[218] I mean, like I fucking do, like tomorrow I think I have three.

[219] And so that's like two, four, like almost five or six hours I have to talk or be involved in a conversation.

[220] But it's like I think that's bigger than a half hour a week on E!

[221] Entertainment.

[222] Yeah, I like this format too better, by the way, with the switching of the cameras.

[223] It makes me feel like I'm really watching TV.

[224] I can really watch it.

[225] The three people, the sliced up screens.

[226] That's stupid too because people are like, oh, I'd like to see your reactions.

[227] And I'm like, yeah, well, some of us just are, while we're...

[228] sitting here are just doing this the whole time.

[229] Exactly.

[230] And that's just lame.

[231] You know how lame it is knowing that your face is being recorded and broadcast like when you're just sitting there going.

[232] Well, especially for you because sometimes like, you know, I'm asking these people like these really deep questions and, you know, there's no room for any other people to talk.

[233] It's just him and me. Right.

[234] So you're just sitting there checking your Twitter, looking at your balls.

[235] Right.

[236] Fuck that.

[237] No, this is definitely a better setup.

[238] This whole setup is better.

[239] This is the vibe.

[240] The vibe that we have here at the Ice House is the vibe the comedy store should have had.

[241] Yeah.

[242] You know, a bunch of cool comics hanging out together, and it's just...

[243] I mean, oh, that's another guy.

[244] Rent is Easy was on a show the other night, too.

[245] I mean, to have these shows like that here, the difference between these shows and the shows that they have at the comedy stores, at the comedy store or any of these clubs, you're going to have some people that you think suck.

[246] There's going to be a bunch of knuckleheads in there, but not these places.

[247] These places, every single person that performs at these Ice House shows are our friends.

[248] They're all funny.

[249] Just look for the Death Squad name.

[250] Their website's Ice House Comedy if you're in L .A. Yeah, just follow us on Twitter.

[251] these pretty short notice like the last time we announced it on you know what night did we do it Sunday I think we announced it on like Saturday yeah I have one Friday but I don't know who's going to be on it but they sell out really quick to Doug Benson maybe who else is around.

[252] But it's always good.

[253] They're always good shows.

[254] And a lot of times they're free, right?

[255] Sometimes.

[256] Well, usually they're either $10, but a lot of times a day of show, if I have any tickets left over, I'll just put a, like, if you check my Twitter, I'll give a coupon code, like, Olive Garden, and then you get free tickets if you say that to the cashier.

[257] Yeah, and on top of that, if you do pay for tickets, it all just goes for this.

[258] It goes for the rent and all the equipment here.

[259] It 100 % goes right into that.

[260] The comics don't even make any money off of it.

[261] So there you go.

[262] So Vegas was a fucking trip, man. It was interesting to watch the slow slide of Las Vegas, man. Is it hurting still?

[263] Oh, yeah.

[264] Oh, it's hurting, man. We came there Friday night, and when we were there Friday, we were like, whoa, this place is empty.

[265] It was weird.

[266] It's weird empty.

[267] You know, the Palms is...

[268] A great hotel.

[269] I mean, we've been going there forever.

[270] It's always been a great place to see fights.

[271] It's the best place, in my opinion, to see fights because it's like super intimate.

[272] You know, it's only a few thousand people.

[273] So when you're in that Pearl Arena, you're like right there on top of everybody.

[274] It's fucking great.

[275] But man, the amount of people that were there on Friday, it was shocking.

[276] You know, that's the first thing that goes when the economy starts falling apart.

[277] The first thing that goes is people vacationing.

[278] And Vegas is like almost 100 % vacationers.

[279] Yeah, and that's why like all...

[280] A lot of the industries, I guess the sin industries, like porn and stuff like that are hurting.

[281] The other day, I was like, all right, I'm going to help the porn industry out.

[282] What?

[283] I went to a website.

[284] What are you, super porn man?

[285] No, I went to a website.

[286] Usually, I just go online and stream porn.

[287] This time, I actually went to a website called, I think it was StreamAid or something like that.

[288] I put my credit card in their system.

[289] What?

[290] But didn't use it.

[291] And what you do is you go to all these rooms and there's this preview.

[292] It's like a girl going, come on.

[293] Big Papa, come on.

[294] Why don't you pay for a private show?

[295] You just sit there, and they're just teasing you the whole time.

[296] So I just used that as my masturbation going from room to room because it's just people in all these cities, like in Ohio and stuff, they're trying to make money so they're not real porn stars.

[297] So it's just girls with webcams, and there's tons of these rooms.

[298] When you go to UJizz, if you go to UJizz .com, when you go to that site, it immediately opens up one of those windows.

[299] Right, exactly.

[300] And what's cool is a lot of people don't know this.

[301] If you're a girl and you need money, these things, you can block states.

[302] So if you're broadcasting in Ohio and you don't want anyone in Ohio or if you have family in Pennsylvania or something like that, you can block Ohio and Pennsylvania so you won't become in the search.

[303] So these are people that are doing it on the down low, thinking that no one will know who they are.

[304] So you get some of these girls, and some of these girls are fucking amazingly hot, but they're sitting in their bedroom.

[305] Now, of course, I never paid for any of them.

[306] I just sat there and went.

[307] through the preview, but I gave them my credit card number.

[308] So did you Skype with them?

[309] It's like a chat room where it's like a video.

[310] It's just a chat.

[311] Right.

[312] And then there's just a bunch of people.

[313] And you can do private sessions too.

[314] Private sessions too.

[315] Or you can get together with a couple people in the, and they have like, I think they're called parties, where you get together with a couple other people in the room and you all chip in $5.

[316] So there's like four of you.

[317] So it's better than a strip club because you can like tell that girl to put an apple in her butthole and stuff like that.

[318] But it's, and then you record it, you know, screen.

[319] It's like a little souvenir.

[320] You record it.

[321] How do you screencast something?

[322] Well, in Mac, you can just open up QuickTime and it has an option to screen record in QuickTime.

[323] I wonder if these girls know that.

[324] Oh, yeah.

[325] They all know it.

[326] They know.

[327] It's just part of the program.

[328] Right.

[329] There's so many of them.

[330] Do you know any girls that do that?

[331] Yeah, I know.

[332] A lot of porn stars do it now because it's like, hey, I can travel to Oklahoma and make whatever, a couple thousand dollars traveling to Oklahoma and stripping or whatever.

[333] Or I could just sit in my bedroom for a weekend and make the same amount of money.

[334] Yeah, so I've opened it up and there's been porn stars there.

[335] Like Jill Kelly was doing one the other day and I'm like, wow.

[336] She's a famous porn star and here she is.

[337] I saw another.

[338] There was a another article about this chick Jeannie Rivers really hot porn star.

[339] And I don't know why I Googled her name, but I Googled her name and it showed up that she was at the cat house.

[340] She's at a brothel now.

[341] And so then I read this article about her in the brothel and it was so depressing.

[342] I don't think I'll ever be able to beat off to her again.

[343] It was really a bummer because it was also about her being with her man and that she has a man that she loves.

[344] And it's hard on him because she's at work all day having sex with all these men who come in to have sex with her.

[345] And then the interviewer asked her, does your man have sex with other women?

[346] And she said, no, he's not allowed to.

[347] She's like, unless he's making money.

[348] You know, if you can make money having sex, that's cool.

[349] But I'm not at work working your butt off or working my butt off so that you could stay home and fuck all these chicks.

[350] I'm like, wow.

[351] And she was talking about how much it costs, you know, and that if someone wants to take her out for an outside date, it's really, really expensive because then she's time away from her man, you know, and the one she loves.

[352] But I'm like, wow, that is so strange.

[353] I mean, that's such a clear case of someone sort of distorting their wants and needs and desires and just allowing their life to be morphed but still clinging on to this romantic notion.

[354] Right.

[355] You know how many porn stars have hopeless romantic written in their profile?

[356] Oh, yeah.

[357] But it's...

[358] they have all these rules that make it like, oh, no, I'm allowed to sleep with two black guys in the ass twice a day.

[359] Two black guys in the ass?

[360] But you can't talk to your ex -girlfriend.

[361] Yeah, what is that?

[362] Isn't that amazing?

[363] You would think that there would be nothing off the table.

[364] Everything's on the table now.

[365] You just took it in the ass by this giant gangbanger black dude, and then he came in your nose and your mouth, and then you're asking me why my girlfriend's texting me. The fuck?

[366] Why is your ex -girlfriend texting you?

[367] That's ridiculous.

[368] But I'm sure that's happened.

[369] All variations are possible.

[370] The whole spectrum is possible.

[371] That was one of the coolest things about talking to Shane and getting a sense of all the different places that he's been and just the full range of possible human behavior.

[372] You realize how fucking incredibly lucky we are, man. That's right.

[373] I was just thinking about lighting that up.

[374] We're so insanely lucky.

[375] To be here in America and the way we are living, I mean, we're in California.

[376] It's nice as shit.

[377] I mean, it's fucking December and it's like 75 degrees today, right?

[378] Yeah.

[379] What was the temperature today?

[380] It's like 70 -ish, 75?

[381] 70 or something.

[382] It's beautiful.

[383] People still here in Pasadena still don't have...

[384] fucking power in some places, or they didn't like two days ago.

[385] It was that crazy wind, right?

[386] Yeah, it was ridiculous.

[387] Can you imagine?

[388] I'm good.

[389] Can you imagine not having fucking power for a week?

[390] Yeah, I could.

[391] When I lived in Colorado, the power would go off all the time, and the generator would kick on.

[392] That's weird, because I need to go, whoa, now we're just connected to this tank.

[393] How much is in this tank?

[394] Do you have a generator at your house?

[395] No, I need to get one.

[396] Yeah, because zombie apocalypse, no. During the zombie apocalypse, you're going to want something to power the searchlights.

[397] You know, it's really out the window.

[398] I could never live that far away from a city like Shane was saying, you know.

[399] move to a lake somewhere really, really far away.

[400] I would like a place like that for a vacation home.

[401] That would be awesome.

[402] I went up to Lake Sherwood and looked at houses up in Lake Sherwood.

[403] How was that?

[404] Fucking amazing.

[405] Do you recommend going there for a weekend?

[406] Yeah, totally.

[407] Lake Sherwood's a little closer.

[408] Big Bear is up there too.

[409] There's a bunch of different places to stay.

[410] We stayed at the resort.

[411] There's a Lake Sherwood resort.

[412] It's a really nice place.

[413] Good restaurant.

[414] The restaurant was great.

[415] You're right on this lake.

[416] Crazy.

[417] man -made lake it was like one guy's dream and mission to put it together there's like some history of it don't remember i got it second hand from mrs rogan she read it but the houses are badass man there's all these houses like right on the lake and you got your own little dock and people just take their boats and just drive it off like i'm like what a cool thing it would be to have a vacation house on a lake I wanted my own canoe.

[418] My friend Jason, his mom had a place that they had a little lake in the back, and they had a little dock, and they had their own little canoes.

[419] And then he would just go over to his mom's house and just smoke some weed and just float in the fucking lake behind his house.

[420] Oh, and dude, if you have a fishing rod, man, there's nothing nicer than getting up at like 5 in the morning before the sun even breaks, pulling that boat out onto the clear water and just casting a line out there and catching your breakfast.

[421] It's fucking great, man. It's fun.

[422] It's beautiful.

[423] There's something calming about being on water.

[424] It's why everybody wants to be right there.

[425] They want a house right there on the water.

[426] I mean, how much time are you going to actually be spending on a boat?

[427] Are you going to do that every day?

[428] Probably not.

[429] It would be way more economically feasible to get a house just a little further away that you could just kind of get to the water real quick.

[430] but there's something about being right on a body of water that people love.

[431] Yeah, Sal from Sal's Comedy Hole, he was telling me he has a boat.

[432] He got this humongous boat, and he'll just go and take a girl on a date, take right in the middle of the ocean, fucking drop anchor, and just fucking sit there and have some wine and just sleep there the whole night in the middle of the fucking ocean.

[433] Holy shit.

[434] Can you imagine doing that?

[435] That would be a trip.

[436] Then you run the risk of a tsunami killing you in the middle of the night.

[437] What are you, sleep with a life preserver on?

[438] Is there an alarm they're going to ring when the earth shifts?

[439] No, there's probably some kind of boat signal thing when you're on there that's like, hey, watch out, there's a tsunami.

[440] I bet not.

[441] I bet there's a radio that you have to stay tuned to.

[442] There's probably a tsunami warning.

[443] But meanwhile, if it's a big one, maybe everybody just says, fuck this alarm, just run and hit that alarm.

[444] Let's get out of here.

[445] This would be cool to have a boat that was big enough that had a hot helicopter pad on.

[446] Oh, like one of those mega yachts?

[447] Yeah, mega yachts.

[448] Yeah, but that's how you get killed by pirates.

[449] That's the scariest thing about Africa, man. I wish we talked to that dude more about all these people that get jacked and killed by pirates.

[450] Yeah, that sucks because we all kind of started late.

[451] We were all running late, and so he had to leave.

[452] Yeah, he had a New York Times thing he was going to.

[453] That could have easily went three, four hours for me. We'll get him back again.

[454] That guy's awesome.

[455] And I'm going to try to.

[456] Whether we have to go to New York or he has to go to L .A. He'll be in L .A. again, especially if he's going to do this HBO thing.

[457] Fuck, that was a great conversation.

[458] Are you doing any comedy when you're in New York?

[459] No. The Cellar has their own podcast now.

[460] The Comedy Cellar.

[461] Really?

[462] Oh, that's smart.

[463] Yeah.

[464] They do it from the Cellar, like live from the Cellar?

[465] Yeah.

[466] Oh, that's smart.

[467] It's a good idea doing it live from a comedy club.

[468] Of course.

[469] But you should go down there.

[470] If you're doing any comedy, try to find Louie and record us quick.

[471] No, if I got Louie, I'll get him to come down here whenever he's in L .A. But he's so busy.

[472] He's one of those dudes I feel bad about asking.

[473] I feel like I'm imposing.

[474] Because I know that he's got kids and he fucking edits his own show on a laptop and writes a new hour every year.

[475] You don't want to talk about a dude who's busy.

[476] That guy, I always want to just, I don't know, I never want to bug him.

[477] Yeah.

[478] He's one of those weird inspirational workers.

[479] You know, when you ever feel like you're working enough, you know, you look at what that guy does and you go, Jesus Christ.

[480] He edits his own show on a fucking laptop on a 13 -inch MacBook Pro.

[481] It's probably not even that.

[482] It's probably like an iBook, a white one.

[483] He has a Logitech mouse with two buttons.

[484] Yeah, I don't know what made him such a driven person.

[485] I think it had to probably be fatherhood, most likely.

[486] Most likely.

[487] Being a Mexican ginger probably is weird, too.

[488] Mexicans do work hard.

[489] Yeah, he's a hard worker, and he's making up for being redhead.

[490] There's a guy named Canelo Alvarez who's a Mexican ginger who's a boxing champion.

[491] Badass ginger who's a Mexican.

[492] He's just beating the shit out of everybody.

[493] He's really fucking good, too.

[494] It's interesting.

[495] It's interesting to watch.

[496] You know?

[497] There's a lot of different Mexicans.

[498] Some of them are actually Louis C .K. People think we're joking around, but Louis C .K. is born in Mexico, right?

[499] Wasn't he?

[500] Yeah, I think he was.

[501] I don't know if he was born in Mexico.

[502] I think he lived there for like five years.

[503] Maybe his parents are from Mexico, but he's fucking Mexican.

[504] Yeah.

[505] As strange as it is.

[506] Yeah.

[507] But I don't want to go to Mexico.

[508] I got no desire to go down there, especially after talking to him, after this guy was talking about the narco killings and all that crazy shit down there.

[509] I would probably go to Cabo or something like that.

[510] I think Cabo's probably still fine if you're in any of those huge resorts.

[511] It's such a risk.

[512] I know it's still fine.

[513] I'm sure it's fine.

[514] I know a lot of people that go, but it still seems such a risk.

[515] There's a couple places I'm going to go Cabo, but Japan is probably at the top of that.

[516] Even with this nuclear thing, I think that's just...

[517] You're very lucky that you're going to that.

[518] You want to go?

[519] I would love to go, dude.

[520] That's always been my dream is to fucking go there and just...

[521] I think I would just want to stay there.

[522] That would be amazing.

[523] Okay.

[524] You're in.

[525] February.

[526] Done.

[527] Word.

[528] You're going to Japan, son.

[529] Are you nervous?

[530] Yeah.

[531] I'm not really nervous.

[532] You better bring a Geiger counter and wrap it around your dick.

[533] I'm just going to bring a lot of condoms.

[534] Can you imagine if you were right about to stick it in?

[535] You're like, before I fuck you, let me just put a Geiger counter in your pussy.

[536] I'm just going to wear Levi jeans and jean jackets the whole time I'm there.

[537] I'm going to comb my hair.

[538] I'm going to grow my hair out a little and comb like Elvis and stuff like that.

[539] I'm going to do all the typical things I need to do.

[540] If you think that's how they live right now, that's probably from like 1990.

[541] They probably want to be rescued, no?

[542] Do you think girls?

[543] Yeah.

[544] They probably would like to be rescued.

[545] Some of them.

[546] You'll find a few.

[547] You'll find someone that will want to rescue you.

[548] Sounds like heaven.

[549] Do you have a thing for Japanese chicks?

[550] Japanese, yeah.

[551] I just grew up with a Japanese friend, so I've always done the Japanese culture.

[552] I've hung out with Japanese girls.

[553] When I couldn't get laid, I would hang out with these hot Japanese girls because they were friends of his.

[554] So I kind of grew up with being around Asians a lot.

[555] So you have a little bit of yellow fever somewhere in the back of your head.

[556] Yeah, they're just so...

[557] I don't know, 1940s American girls.

[558] In what way?

[559] Very polite and nice and beautiful.

[560] They're not going to sit there and talk about fucking Gossip Girl for five hours.

[561] They're not?

[562] I'm just kidding.

[563] I bet they would.

[564] Once they become Americanized, they're exactly the same.

[565] Yeah, that's why you've got to get them right out of the pan or whatever.

[566] Japan woman.

[567] The pan.

[568] Why are you even laughing at that, man?

[569] Get him right out of the pants.

[570] What the fuck is wrong with you?

[571] You like Asian girls, don't you?

[572] Yeah, they're exotic.

[573] Something crazy about them.

[574] They're alien.

[575] Yeah.

[576] Well, that's what I always said.

[577] They have a little bit more alien.

[578] If you believe all the shit about aliens come down here and manipulating monkeys and making people out of them, well, they definitely put more alien in Asians.

[579] They're really good at math, right?

[580] Yeah.

[581] Is that racist to say?

[582] It probably is.

[583] What?

[584] That they're good at something?

[585] They're good at math.

[586] It's like racist to say black guys have big dicks.

[587] I've seen them.

[588] Yeah, there's white guys who have big dicks, too.

[589] But there's way more black guys who have big dicks.

[590] Especially porn stars.

[591] It's like every other black guy in porn has this giant hog.

[592] And you've never even seen this guy before.

[593] Whereas white guys with big dicks, there are a lot of movies, man. There's a white guy like a John Holmes.

[594] They fucking parade that guy around like the fucking Great White Hope.

[595] You know?

[596] They put his picture on a flag and carry it high.

[597] Look, look, a white guy with a big dick.

[598] Told you.

[599] But you see a black guy with a big dick.

[600] You're like, yep, and another one.

[601] There's another one.

[602] There's another one.

[603] Guys you've never even heard of.

[604] There needs to be a study.

[605] I'm sure there is a study.

[606] Yeah, to see if that's real.

[607] Because I always heard that it's not.

[608] It's just that you only see black dicks when it's in porn, and it's always like the best chosen meats, you know, and stuff like that.

[609] It's not typical.

[610] Maybe, but in my opinion, it probably is related to being metamorphic.

[611] Mesomorphic, rather.

[612] There's three different body types.

[613] There's ectomorphic, endomorphic, and mesomorphic.

[614] Endomorphic is people that have...

[615] They're naturally kind of chubby, and they have a real hard time losing weight, slow metabolism.

[616] Endomorphic is people are super thin.

[617] Ectomorphic is like anon.

[618] It's the sativa.

[619] Yeah, like anon.

[620] A guy who you look at him, you go, the guy can't put weight on.

[621] Johnny Archer is really skinny guys.

[622] They're like, you look at him, and you go, man, this guy probably has a real hard time putting muscle on.

[623] And then mesomorphic.

[624] Mesomorphic is like rampage, like Quentin Rampage.

[625] Jackson, you look at that guy.

[626] Don't make those monkey noises when I'm talking about a black man. That's just rude.

[627] Oh, no. I meant like fighters.

[628] Like they're huge muscle guys.

[629] Oh, dare you.

[630] I'm sorry.

[631] I didn't even think about that.

[632] Brock Lesnar.

[633] Brock Lesnar is an example of mesomorph.

[634] It's a guy who's just giant muscle.

[635] You know, big, wide frame, big hands, big feet.

[636] If you don't think that guy's got a big dick, you're crazy.

[637] If you don't think Rampage has a big dick, you're out of your fucking mind.

[638] Of course he has a big dick.

[639] Look at the rest of them.

[640] We talked about Czech Congo.

[641] We did a thing on the podcast about it.

[642] And Chet Congo was laughing when he saw me because he had heard about it.

[643] It's like, it's right here.

[644] And he puts his hand down near his knee and joking around about it.

[645] Because you look at the dude, you're like, that guy must have a fucking monster in his pants.

[646] There's no way he doesn't.

[647] He's this gigantic super athlete.

[648] Six foot four, sculpted, broad shoulders.

[649] He's probably got a dick that would just tear you apart.

[650] Or it's really, really small.

[651] I don't think so.

[652] Super smooth.

[653] That would be what a lot of white people would hope.

[654] At the end of the day.

[655] He's small, and he likes girls, you know, to fuck them in the ass with dildos.

[656] And, you know, he's not really this guy.

[657] It happens, though.

[658] It happens both ways, too, man. It does happen.

[659] Jonathan Daniel Brown, who's in that new movie, Project X, that I always talk about.

[660] His dick is fucking, like, a monster.

[661] Who's that?

[662] He's a little comic kid that, real nice guy.

[663] You've met him a couple times.

[664] And he's in that new movie, Project X, the guys that did Hangover and all that.

[665] Right.

[666] And it comes out in, like, March or something.

[667] But he's in that movie.

[668] And before.

[669] he did a porno.

[670] He did a bang bus, and it was like Geeks Gone Bad or something like that.

[671] And man, in that movie, he fucking just has a monster dick.

[672] And it's like he's this little chubby, nerdy comic book guy.

[673] Jonathan Daniel Brown.

[674] Is that video online?

[675] Can you pull it up?

[676] It's been pulled, but I can find you.

[677] Who pulled it?

[678] Probably the Warner Brothers.

[679] Do you think they paid people off?

[680] No, Jonathan actually told them about it, I think because of what the movie is.

[681] Did he tell them about it after they had already cast him in the movie and filmed it?

[682] No, I think during the audition.

[683] Really?

[684] But see, I think this movie is that cool that they were like, it doesn't matter, that's actually better.

[685] You really think he told them during the audition?

[686] Yeah, that's what he said.

[687] Oh, like, hey, before you go on, there's something you should know.

[688] I did a bang bus once.

[689] Yeah.

[690] Okay.

[691] Yeah.

[692] that's it and it was uh beautiful man and because if you see beautiful it was because like dude that's like the shit i like because you see that guy and you're just like man you know this guy he he always needs to get pussy he's always you know talking about how he never he never gets laid he's a virgin whatever he just turned 21 i went to his 21st birthday party and and like you're hanging around with 20 year olds well he's such a nice guy when i first met him he had a bag of comic books and i was just like hey what do you got there and i was like looking through his comic books and he was just you could tell like when you meet certain people you're just like man this guy is just he's good people right right and so uh so when i heard he did a porn i was like oh man i can't believe he did a porn dude what is that's crazy then i saw it i'm like all right this is beautiful because he takes out his dick and you're like what that's that's ridiculous i mean probably like that how many inches 10 inches 10 to 12 inches i'd probably say his dick is 10 to 12 inches it's thick like listen google shirts this man's dick it's out there i don't need to see this pull that shit up on the monitor What's his, how do you say his name again?

[693] Jonathan Daniel Brown.

[694] I don't think it's listed under that.

[695] Homeboy's got a 12 -inch dick.

[696] Yeah, it's huge.

[697] That's ridiculous.

[698] I think that would be too much of a good thing.

[699] You know, when you want to get blowjobs, chicks would be like, what the fuck am I going to do with that thing?

[700] You know?

[701] Like, you would say, like, a guy with, like, a little dick has one advantage, and that is that girls could deep -throat the shit out of him all day.

[702] It probably feels awesome.

[703] But it probably doesn't feel as awesome because there's not as much surface area.

[704] Because if a guy with a big dick gets deep -throated, that's like a whole long slip and slide of pleasure.

[705] Whereas someone with a little dick, that's, you know, just a little digit.

[706] Like a first digit on the finger.

[707] It's probably there's never enough sex.

[708] You probably never, you know, when you're doing long strokes, you think about all the pipe you're laying, you think about all the inches combined, you know, you feel like you're actually getting something done.

[709] But if you have a little dick, you probably feel like you're never really getting in there.

[710] And as you come and you're never satisfied.

[711] It's been pulled.

[712] But I saved it.

[713] I pirated Bay.

[714] Where is it?

[715] Allegedly.

[716] It's at the house somewhere.

[717] And it's somewhere.

[718] Casa de Burbank.

[719] But, yeah, he's a nice guy.

[720] We'll get him on Ice House Chronicles at some point.

[721] What is his movie?

[722] His movie's called Project X. It's badass looking.

[723] It's like one of those movie previews you're like, oh, that's going to be fun.

[724] It actually looks really good.

[725] And what is it about?

[726] It's one of those high school party, animal house type things, but it's like during these times.

[727] It looks like it's been done a million times, but you want to watch the preview?

[728] We can watch the preview.

[729] Sure.

[730] Let's watch the preview.

[731] Okay.

[732] Are we allowed to?

[733] I think it's because it's a preview.

[734] Yeah, we're only trying to promote your movie for free, man. Project X video.

[735] There we go.

[736] And it's on YouTube, Project X. Let's see.

[737] Mom, Dad.

[738] Is this him?

[739] No. Where do I start?

[740] Tell me when the dude with a giant dick shows up.

[741] This is supposed to be a small get -together.

[742] I wanted to be cool for one night.

[743] You know, I want my girls to notice me. Then things just got a little out of control.

[744] Tonight's about the girls we never had a shot at.

[745] Tonight's about changing the game.

[746] There he is.

[747] Did you see him?

[748] Yeah, right here on the right.

[749] Walking in with the glasses.

[750] Oh, changing the game.

[751] Right there.

[752] That guy on the right has a humongous dick, and the other two guys probably...

[753] Oh, I've seen his porn.

[754] Yeah.

[755] Okay, you are exaggerating.

[756] You showed this to me before.

[757] It's a fairly large dick, but it's nowhere near a foot long.

[758] You don't think?

[759] No. But it is a fun video to watch.

[760] This begins to be cool.

[761] And for the folks that are just listening, this is just all this crazy house party scenes.

[762] It's these young geeky guys who are on these super hot chicks, and it just says Project X. Hello?

[763] Thomas?

[764] Dad, hey.

[765] Well, we just wanted to call one last time.

[766] Make sure you were set for the night.

[767] Oh, my God.

[768] I just drove a car into the pool.

[769] Yeah.

[770] His parents.

[771] March 2nd, and you go to Facebook .com.

[772] Never, never leave your fucking teenage boys alone on a weekend.

[773] I've always been amazed when people do that shit.

[774] You know, my sister tried to do that once when we were kids.

[775] My parents went somewhere.

[776] We were in high school.

[777] My sister had a fucking party.

[778] Really?

[779] And I came home and kicked everybody out.

[780] I never did that.

[781] I didn't think really people did that.

[782] You had to be a retard.

[783] I kicked everybody.

[784] My sister was so pissed off.

[785] You know, you can't tell me. You got a hundred fucking people in our house.

[786] Get the fuck out of here.

[787] I kicked everybody out.

[788] I was like, you got to be out of your fucking mind.

[789] I would never do that.

[790] You're going to allow people to wander through my bedroom and your bedroom.

[791] You don't even know half these fucking people.

[792] That's a popularity thing.

[793] Like, oh, I want to be popular.

[794] Exactly.

[795] I want to be cool.

[796] Let's have a party.

[797] But whenever I used to go to parties in high school, I was always thinking that.

[798] Like, who is allowing these fucking kids to put these parties on?

[799] If you go to a party with high school boys and there's drinking...

[800] Seven out of ten times something fucked up happens.

[801] Seven out of ten.

[802] Did you have the friends, though?

[803] I don't know if we ever talked about this.

[804] Did you ever have the friends that had the parents that would drink with you and they would have parties and the parents would be sitting there on the couch drinking with you?

[805] That was very common for some reason.

[806] I did have some friends like that, but that doesn't happen anymore.

[807] I mean, it's not in rural.

[808] I mean, maybe in rural America it does.

[809] But, I mean, in normal cities, that shit doesn't happen.

[810] People, they tell their parents, and then their parents have you arrested.

[811] You can't just give kids alcohol.

[812] Or they put it on Facebook, and then everyone knows about it.

[813] What is the rule about alcohol?

[814] You can't even have alcohol in your home.

[815] Can you have alcohol in your home if you're under 21?

[816] Oh, yeah, absolutely.

[817] You can.

[818] You can have it in your home.

[819] Under your parent's supervision, are you sure?

[820] Yeah.

[821] At what age?

[822] I think you're allowed to have alcohol if you're of age and you have younger kids.

[823] Let's ask Siri.

[824] You think Siri will know?

[825] What are you going to say to her?

[826] I'm going to say...

[827] Hmm, that's a good question.

[828] How do I...

[829] Whoa, that's real.

[830] I'm going to say, at what age are young people allowed to drink alcohol under adult supervision?

[831] Minors.

[832] I mean, if it's your parents, I think your parents...

[833] Parental supervision.

[834] Here we go.

[835] At what age...

[836] Are minors allowed to drink alcohol under parental supervision?

[837] All right, get this right over there.

[838] She's just going to Google that shit.

[839] Yeah, she nailed it.

[840] You don't understand.

[841] Yeah, that's too complicated.

[842] Stupid Siri.

[843] Someday.

[844] That's way too complicated.

[845] Siri's like, what the fuck?

[846] I could barely understand.

[847] Is there a way to abbreviate that?

[848] Well, I think, isn't it parents are allowed to?

[849] allowed you to let your kids do it, but I'm sure it's not.

[850] How about this?

[851] Can kids drink alcohol at home?

[852] Okay, let me ask this.

[853] Are you a useless cunt?

[854] I'm afraid I can't answer that.

[855] I'm sorry, Joseph.

[856] She got shitty with me. She called me Joseph.

[857] Tell me a joke.

[858] Oh, I'm on airplane mode, maybe?

[859] I get that a lot.

[860] Yeah, this thing sucks.

[861] I love it.

[862] I love it for simple things, though.

[863] What is the meaning of life?

[864] Fucking nothing.

[865] Let me try again.

[866] What is the meaning of life?

[867] Reproduction, functional activity, and continual change preceding death.

[868] That's deep.

[869] That's a new one.

[870] I haven't heard that one yet.

[871] Wrong answer.

[872] The answer is to crush your enemies, have them driven before you in the hidden laminations of the women.

[873] Let's see if she understands that.

[874] Wrong answer.

[875] The answer is to crush your enemies, have them deliver before you in the hidden laminations of the women.

[876] Siri, you are useless.

[877] Siri, did you fart?

[878] How about this?

[879] How about this?

[880] How about this?

[881] Hold on.

[882] Come on, bitch.

[883] Oh, that dirty bitch.

[884] I'm thinking of getting a droid throne.

[885] Throne?

[886] She said, are you?

[887] Yes.

[888] I think I like Android phones.

[889] What is your opinion of them?

[890] I prefer not to say.

[891] She prefers not to say.

[892] What's the best Android phone on the market?

[893] Getting your current location.

[894] Hmm.

[895] Wait, what's she doing?

[896] Sending the FBI over here.

[897] No, no, no, no. She's going to send you to something.

[898] What?

[899] Call the market?

[900] What the fuck is that?

[901] Okay.

[902] Because you can buy Android phones at the market.

[903] How about this?

[904] How about this?

[905] No. No, thank you.

[906] I don't want directions.

[907] What are the negatives in buying an Android phone?

[908] Calling Redband.

[909] Calling Redband?

[910] It's calling you.

[911] That's right.

[912] How dare you.

[913] This thing's a piece of shit.

[914] How dare you.

[915] It's calling you.

[916] By the way, your phone number just got released on the internet.

[917] Huh?

[918] Because she said your phone number.

[919] You might have to get her your number.

[920] This dirty whore just ratted you out, dude.

[921] People are going to go back and they're going to...

[922] Did she really say it?

[923] Yep, sure.

[924] She said it.

[925] Please don't call me. Don't call.

[926] How crazy is it, though, that that's what she did?

[927] She called you.

[928] She knows you're my tech guy.

[929] Is your phone ringing?

[930] No, it didn't.

[931] Oh, you called my old phone.

[932] Oh.

[933] Thank God.

[934] That's right.

[935] The new phone is Red Band Reborn.

[936] That's right.

[937] You don't even have that phone anymore.

[938] Yeah, I do.

[939] But it's not on.

[940] No, it's not.

[941] I have the number that I pay every month for that number for some dumb reason.

[942] Yeah.

[943] Why is it called Red Band?

[944] That's hilarious.

[945] Siri sucks.

[946] What a useless fucking service.

[947] It's like you're paying for something that will be good one day.

[948] Well, no, it's good for what it's meant for.

[949] Do you use it?

[950] Yeah, I use it every day.

[951] It's mostly meant for it.

[952] What?

[953] What do you do every day with it?

[954] Mostly it's me laying in bed going, set my alarm clock for 8 and 10 o 'clock tomorrow morning.

[955] Or if I'm driving and somebody texts me, I'll just reply back.

[956] And that always works.

[957] Really?

[958] And you do it through the speaker system in your car?

[959] Yeah, I have a Ford Sync, yeah.

[960] So, yeah, I use it through that.

[961] I mean, and things like that.

[962] If you're just like, you know, schedule or what's my schedule like tomorrow, I'll read you what's on your schedules or things like that, like dictation and stuff like that.

[963] I use it for the questions things.

[964] I don't really ask.

[965] I never do that.

[966] Like I never do like what is life and what's farts and stuff.

[967] It's stuff I did when I first got it, but I don't even like do that anymore.

[968] I use it mostly just for basic shit.

[969] You gave up on all that other shit.

[970] But it's good.

[971] You know, texting alone is almost dead on.

[972] Or if you're in your car and you put, like, anytime you have a keyboard in your car.

[973] So, like, if you're on Google, it will pull up in your car.

[974] You can hit the microphone icon, which is right there on the bottom, and then you can just speak what you want to search.

[975] So if you're in your car, you can just search shit in your car.

[976] You shouldn't do that because then you're reading shit.

[977] Don't be fucking with your phone in your car.

[978] No, then I read it.

[979] I read it at stoplights.

[980] No, I haven't read it out loud to me. Now the new iPhones have the voice -to -text function, so you can make text messages with your voice, and it fucking works good, dude.

[981] I tried it this weekend.

[982] I even said, hey, let's go fuck babies.

[983] And then I wrote, I'm just kidding, LOL.

[984] And it came out, hey, let's go fuck babies.

[985] No way.

[986] Yeah.

[987] That's crazy.

[988] You know what they also have, I read, is that it has the carrier thing on in the software.

[989] Oh, IQ carrier?

[990] No, only iOS 3.

[991] That's when it was in diagnostic mode only.

[992] In Android phones, it was being sent out constantly.

[993] It's not the same form that it is.

[994] I swear to God, I just read it on 9to5Mac that it's still in there.

[995] Really?

[996] That it's still in there in broadcasting?

[997] Yeah.

[998] Is this a new thing?

[999] Yeah, I think so.

[1000] I think they just finally said that they're going to update it.

[1001] Take it out.

[1002] What is this carrier IQ?

[1003] Is this some government agency or is it just some diagnostic software that's shitty code?

[1004] Well, it's all statistics supposedly is what it seems like.

[1005] It's like everything is, yeah, being transmitted, but it's being randomized so you can't pinpoint you with all this information.

[1006] So I don't know how dangerous or crazy it is, but Al Franklin, who's...

[1007] Al Franklin, the senator?

[1008] Yeah, senator.

[1009] He's giving them like a deadline.

[1010] Congressman?

[1011] What is he?

[1012] Congressman or senator?

[1013] Yeah.

[1014] Whatever.

[1015] He's giving them a deadline to what?

[1016] He's giving them a deadline to explain what the fuck's going on.

[1017] And I think the deadline was today.

[1018] I haven't heard anything new from it, but I'm looking right now.

[1019] What the fuck is going on, man?

[1020] That's creepy shit.

[1021] Yeah.

[1022] When I saw that, when that kid, for folks who don't know what's going on, there's a video that's online where an Android developer found a way to go into the operating system and he uncovered some files.

[1023] You know, one of the cool things about Android is that, you know, you can kind of hack into them and like real techie dudes love them because you can, you know, you can root them and put a completely different operating system on them.

[1024] And, you know, it's like some carriers and some...

[1025] phone manufacturers on the Android system, they put their own user interface on.

[1026] You know, like they have Motorola Blur, and there's a couple different ones.

[1027] And some people don't like that, so developers create their own shit.

[1028] So there's like a lot of flexibility in the platform.

[1029] Well, this one guy got in it, and he was fucking around, and he found out that there's something called Carrier IQ, and that Carrier IQ literally logs every single thing you do.

[1030] Every number you press, every time you send a text to someone, it shows the actual text, and it logs it and sends it to some fucking database somewhere.

[1031] So some company has, for every Android phone that has this on it, some company has an exact record of every freaky text, every fucking weirdos, every cent, every...

[1032] picture of dude's dicks that went flying through the air, all that.

[1033] Is it pictures too?

[1034] Is it a picture store too?

[1035] Or did they just let you know that you sent a picture?

[1036] I think they just sent a picture.

[1037] And Apple released a statement, it looks like five days ago, saying, we stopped supporting Carrier IQ with iOS 5 in most of our products.

[1038] In most.

[1039] and we'll remove it completely in a future software update.

[1040] Wow, so they still have it in some of their products.

[1041] Right, but they went to 4S.

[1042] But they said, we never recorded keystrokes, messages, or any other personal information for diagnostic data and have no plans to ever do so.

[1043] They did say that.

[1044] So they used a form of it, which was randomized.

[1045] It wasn't the meat, which is what the Android's like.

[1046] I don't know how they thought they were going to get away with that.

[1047] Do you think they thought they were going to get away with that?

[1048] Is it a mistake?

[1049] What is it?

[1050] What's going on here?

[1051] I think it's one of those things like that South Park skit.

[1052] Did you read the terms where you agree to something?

[1053] It probably says in there that you agree that we will send out information to test and for logistics and stuff like that.

[1054] And track your fucking text messages?

[1055] And track your text messages.

[1056] Every freaky thing you said.

[1057] Yeah.

[1058] I mean, how many people are out there right now panicking because of the nutty fucking freak shit that they're into?

[1059] I want to suck on your toes and piss in your ear.

[1060] You know, how many people are out there?

[1061] Oh, Al Franken has given the senator, I mean, December 14th as its final day to respond to all its requests for information on what the fuck's going on.

[1062] That's next Thursday.

[1063] Yeah.

[1064] Wow.

[1065] He's given plenty of time to come up with a good excuse or go to Costa Rica.

[1066] How crazy is that he is a senator?

[1067] I mean, that's...

[1068] That's ridiculous.

[1069] I remember him being on Saturday Night Live, being the crazy weather guy where he would have in the background, he would have that umbrella.

[1070] Well, he's a very smart man. He's the exact kind of senator you want.

[1071] He's a very bright guy.

[1072] He's a guy who can draw the United States of America.

[1073] You ever see him do that?

[1074] He can draw it.

[1075] He draws the shapes of all the states from memory.

[1076] He just gets a big piece of paper, and he just does the outline, and it's pretty fucking accurate, man. It's crazy to watch.

[1077] He's a super, super bright guy and a real patriot.

[1078] You know, whether you agree with his politics or don't agree with him, man, there's no doubt about that guy's an intelligent guy, and it seems to me that he's always on the right side of things.

[1079] Yeah.

[1080] President someday, right?

[1081] Oh, it's impossible.

[1082] He's not been chosen.

[1083] I don't think you can be a president unless you're playing ball.

[1084] Look at Obama.

[1085] We thought Obama was going to be some big change.

[1086] He hasn't changed anything.

[1087] He's changed people's opinions of politics, I'll tell you that, because now people think it's all horseshit.

[1088] You see this guy get in, and they send 30 ,000 more troops to Afghanistan a couple weeks after he wins a Nobel Prize for peace.

[1089] And you're like, what?

[1090] What is this?

[1091] This is the strangest.

[1092] change ever this seems like exactly the same thing we're still in Afghanistan and I mean now finally they're pulling people out of Iraq but it's you know it's after we've established some sort of a puppet government there The whole thing's crazy.

[1093] He really proved to me that the system is locked down.

[1094] And how could it be any other way at this point?

[1095] When we already know about lobbyists, we already know about special interest groups and all the people that finance political campaigns.

[1096] And then when they started passing laws saying that corporations were actually like individuals and they could...

[1097] donate as much money as they wanted to presidential candidates and political candidates.

[1098] The fucking game's over.

[1099] It's hijacked.

[1100] It's done.

[1101] A guy like Al Franken or a guy like Ron Paul or, and people keep getting mad at me. Like, why are you saying that he never has a chance?

[1102] Don't say that Ron Paul doesn't have a chance.

[1103] It's bullshit.

[1104] It's disrespectful for all those people that are working on the campaign.

[1105] I'm not saying it because I wouldn't want Ron Paul to be president.

[1106] It's just my opinion.

[1107] And it's not saying that this can't be overcome, because I'm certain it can.

[1108] It's not like this evil, corrupt empire that's running this country can stay in place forever.

[1109] No, it's cyclical.

[1110] It's all going to move out, and some new people are moving in, and the people that are alive now will be dead eventually.

[1111] But I just think the way it's set up right now...

[1112] We're in a state where people have accepted the fact that it's corrupt.

[1113] And until they rush Washington, D .C. with fucking torches and pitchforks, they don't really have the right attitude.

[1114] This is not going to change through voting.

[1115] Voting isn't going to change a goddamn thing.

[1116] You can't vote for anybody.

[1117] They don't give you the chance.

[1118] You don't get the opportunity to actually.

[1119] And if you did, they would rig the machines.

[1120] It's been proven.

[1121] It's been for the Diebold company.

[1122] Go look up the HBO documentary, The Hacking Democracy, where they show that they've made electronic voting machines with.

[1123] a third party option or someone can come in and the third party can put in information.

[1124] Not the person voting, not the person recording the vote, but a third party can come in and change the vote.

[1125] And they changed it on the show.

[1126] They showed it that this stuff has been engineered to rig.

[1127] And, you know, these programmers, computer programmers, there's many of them online that have gone over the software and said there's only one way or one reason to make a machine like this.

[1128] It's coded like this.

[1129] That's so that you can manipulate the data.

[1130] Period.

[1131] That's fucked up.

[1132] It's fucked up.

[1133] Beyond fucked up.

[1134] You know, the Kerry, when Kerry won that Bush election, that was one of the first times ever where the exit polls did not match the actual numbers.

[1135] It's like things were weird.

[1136] It's like people thought that Kerry was going to win by a landslide in certain places and he would wind up losing by a small percentage.

[1137] And if you look at, I shouldn't say landslide.

[1138] I don't think he was projected to win anywhere by a landslide, but even win it.

[1139] My point is, if you look at what these programmers, there's this one guy who's very, very well -spoken and very credentialed, very educated computer programmer, very well -respected guy, and he was going in -depth about the way this was constructed and that there's only one way or one reason to do that, and that's for deception.

[1140] That's for changing it.

[1141] So that's why I say a guy like Ron Paul is probably never going to get in there.

[1142] Now, when you talk to this guy like Shane and you see all the shit that this guy sees or you hear about all the shit that this guy sees, you know, you really worry, man. Like, how bad can things get?

[1143] Can things get worse here?

[1144] Is that what 2012 is?

[1145] Like a period of the great slide where we slide backwards before we rebuild again and have to have some new constitution drafted up because these fucking cunts ruined everything?

[1146] What happens?

[1147] I don't know.

[1148] It seems like even though it sucks and everything sucks, there's definitely good things.

[1149] But it doesn't.

[1150] It's still the best country in the world.

[1151] This is the best time to be alive.

[1152] Unemployment's actually up for the first time in like...

[1153] I don't know, seven or eight years.

[1154] Yeah, down.

[1155] So jobs more.

[1156] For the first time, yeah.

[1157] But it was only like by a point percentage or something like that.

[1158] But it's in the right direction.

[1159] Well, I would think eventually, you know, people are going to find things to do and people are going to create their own jobs and find, you know, things that they can sell.

[1160] If it's a real free market, you know, what I'm worried about is that the banks are going to collapse even further.

[1161] I'm worried about the commercial real estate market.

[1162] I'm worried about the credit card market.

[1163] There's a lot of shit that's still.

[1164] very flimsy in this current economic situation and when we look at Europe and what's going on with Greece and you know Greece is essentially going bankrupt and they're gonna you know Europe is trying to bail them out and everyone's trying to make sure that they don't collapse and It's just like, I mean, does it have to fall apart to be rebuilt correctly?

[1165] You know, you wonder.

[1166] You're like, man, am I prolonging my punishment?

[1167] Can I just take my medicine now?

[1168] Can we go through a shit period of 10 years and all of a sudden have a rebuilt society and everything runs nice and smooth and even, you know?

[1169] Yeah.

[1170] There was something I wanted to bring up.

[1171] We had a guy on a podcast yesterday.

[1172] His name was Skyler.

[1173] He was in Arizona for Black Friday.

[1174] He decided, I'm just going to check out Black Friday.

[1175] He's a comic actor here in L .A., and he has a new show on Fuel.

[1176] But anyways, he was in on Black Friday, and there was this old man with his little kid, and they had this thing where you have to touch something, and then when they hit a buzzer or something, everybody goes crazy.

[1177] grabs video games.

[1178] It's set up for chaos.

[1179] Walmart should be shot in the head for how they do this.

[1180] Is it only Walmart or do a lot of stores do this?

[1181] I think there's a lot of stores that probably do this, but Walmart's always known for having ridiculous things like this where it's just people are getting trampled or they have things where you have to touch something.

[1182] Anyways, so this family was there, a husband and wife and their nephew or something.

[1183] And this guy was madness.

[1184] Everyone was like fucking chaos.

[1185] And he puts this game in his belt so he can hold on to his kid because his kid was getting trampled and stuff like that.

[1186] A policeman saw him put this game in his belt.

[1187] fucking threw him off it was like hey you get up and the old man was like puts his hands up and the the policeman throws him down the ground smashes his face blood just pouring out the guy is knocked out he can't even breathe his fucking kid comes around and goes like what the fuck dad no he was putting and his kids five years old or this this nephew it's five years old no he didn't steal he put it to hold me like his kid was even saying that while it was happening.

[1188] So it's like five -year -old is not going to lie.

[1189] He's not going to be like, I'm smart enough to know that my dad was shoplifting and he was putting the game in his pants, you know, like, and here's, I want you to look at this video.

[1190] He actually, Skyler, the guy that was here, filmed the whole thing, saw the whole thing, had to grab the kid and hold the kid and like calm the kid down.

[1191] Then we found the wife and he actually got lawyers for this family and he's going back and like helping this family out because of the police brutality.

[1192] How old is this guy?

[1193] Skyler?

[1194] The old guy.

[1195] You'll see him right here.

[1196] And he didn't do anything.

[1197] There's all his blood by his face.

[1198] He wasn't even shoplifting.

[1199] Oh my God, there's blood all over his face.

[1200] You done knocked the motherfucker out.

[1201] That's your goddamn job.

[1202] Oh, my God.

[1203] He's completely unconscious.

[1204] For a $15 video game, Joe.

[1205] And blood is all over his face.

[1206] Yeah.

[1207] Oh, now he's trying to wake up, so he's twitching.

[1208] Wow.

[1209] He wasn't even shoplifting.

[1210] So it's some asshole cop that got a little carried away.

[1211] Now he's massaging the guy, trying to wake him up.

[1212] Oh, my God.

[1213] And so the police, the cop that did it, he was put on administrative leave while they're doing this.

[1214] This guy's still unconscious.

[1215] This guy suffered massive head trauma.

[1216] He's still unconscious.

[1217] His face is covered in blood Some woman just stepped in and said she's a nurse and she's trying to help There was several witnesses though, so that's good.

[1218] Yeah Well, whatever.

[1219] That guy's brain is cooked.

[1220] And here's something interesting.

[1221] Right above this, there was five security cameras.

[1222] And Walmart is saying, because these are all off -duty cops that Walmart has hired.

[1223] All five of those cameras did not record anything.

[1224] And so the next day, Skyler, our friend that was on the show, came into Walmart to record all those things.

[1225] And there was now banners in front of all the cameras, like blocking the view.

[1226] And where that guy's laying right now, there's like a carpet and a table.

[1227] And, like, they're just covering their ass.

[1228] So the fact that there's no video.

[1229] And plus that if you're going to shoplift, you probably wouldn't shoplift a $15 game on Black Friday.

[1230] You'd probably shoplift just on a Thursday.

[1231] You know what I mean?

[1232] Well, whatever.

[1233] I mean, he might have been shoplifting.

[1234] But even if he was, you don't have to take this frail guy and smash his fucking face like that.

[1235] Yeah.

[1236] And so here's the actual news report of if you want to watch this.

[1237] This is kind of interesting.

[1238] Black Friday getting a black eye, not only here in the valley, but around the country.

[1239] More on the incidents nationally.

[1240] And there's all this blur around the guy's face, and you can't see the blood.

[1241] About this video from a Walmart in Buckeye.

[1242] A grandfather ends up with a bloody face, and some shoppers blame the Buckeye police.

[1243] That's right, but police this afternoon have a much different story than what some witnesses told us this morning.

[1244] Miriam Garcia spoke to police just a few moments ago, and it's live in Buckeye.

[1245] Miriam, what's their...

[1246] CELL PHONE VIDEO ONLY SHOWS THE END OF WHAT ACTUALLY HAPPENED OUT THERE.

[1247] THEY ALSO SAY THAT THE OFFICER INVOLVED DID NOTHING WRONG.

[1248] LET'S GET YOU TO THAT CELL PHONE VIDEO THAT'S CAUSING all of this controversy.

[1249] It happened late last night at a Walmart in Buckeye and a rush of shoppers stormed the video game section of Walmart.

[1250] A man was there with his grandson and his wife and people around them were pushing and shoving to get video games.

[1251] The 54 -year -old man put a video game in his waistband.

[1252] Police say he was trying to steal that video game.

[1253] But witnesses tell us he put the game in his waistband to have his hands free so he could get his grandson out of the crowd.

[1254] Police say they confronted him and he resisted arrest, flailing his arms when they tried asking him about that video game.

[1255] A leg sweep was used and the man fell to the floor, hitting his head and bleeding.

[1256] That's Skyler.

[1257] That's the guy that did it.

[1258] That's not the officer that did it.

[1259] You know, as police officers, we deal with people that seem like they're going to be violent up front, and then it's a very passive arrest.

[1260] And then other times you go to arrest people where it seems to be passive, and then it could go south very quickly.

[1261] And the man involved is 54 -year -old Gerald Newman.

[1262] He was treated at a local hospital, and then he was booked in a jail for resisting arrest and shoplifting.

[1263] Oh, God.

[1264] A video game.

[1265] SHOWS THE VERY END OF WHAT HAPPENED.

[1266] THEY EVEN WENT INTO THE WALMART TO SEE IF THEY COULD GET THE BEGINNING OF THAT INCIDENT.

[1267] BUT THEY TELL US WALMART VIDEO CAMERAS WEREN'T RECORDING OR STORE SURVEILLANCE CAMERAS DIDN'T ACTUALLY GET WHAT HAPPENED WHEN THE OFFICER CONFRONTED.

[1268] who they're calling a suspect.

[1269] So on Black Friday, the busiest, craziest day in history of shopping, their cameras just were not recording at Walmart.

[1270] And another thing about that whole thing is that the guy didn't even leave the store.

[1271] So, like, he was still in the store.

[1272] In most cities, in most states, you're allowed to do whatever you want to with whatever product you have.

[1273] Like, you can put it in your coat, you put it in your shirt.

[1274] Until you leave the premises, like the front door, that's when it's considered shoplifting.

[1275] that's why they can't catch you.

[1276] Like if you're fucking like, like a lot of people, like even drink, like they open up a can of pop in the middle of the store and start drinking it, you know, in the store.

[1277] Cause they know they're going to the cashier to pay for it, you know?

[1278] And that, that is the same thing where they're actually drinking the product, you know, or eating the product and stuff.

[1279] And we're talking about like a $15 video game.

[1280] So the Skyler said that when it happened, he was standing right next to the guy and the guy just like, you know, like when the cop was like, you know, Hey, you're shop living the guy, the old man's like, no, I'm not.

[1281] He puts his hands up.

[1282] And instead of just grabbing this old man or this dude's hand, he fucking leg sweeps him to the ground and cracks his skull.

[1283] And he's still fucking resisting arrest.

[1284] He's in jail for resisting arrest and shoplifting.

[1285] Are you fucking kidding me?

[1286] Walmart needs to be shot.

[1287] And I'm glad we got to put this out so people can see this.

[1288] The Walmart part is sick and the cop part is sick.

[1289] That guy should not be a cop.

[1290] If that's the way you react, you should not be a fucking cop.

[1291] For the most part, cops are cool.

[1292] For the most part, cops don't want to do shit like that.

[1293] this cops would way rather have no incidents happen but there's some dumb fucks that are cops and they're in a situation when they have to make a judgment call and their dumb fuck brain causes them to leg sweep some old man that is putting a video game obviously in his pants to hold on to his son or his grandson that's just sad man that makes me sick yeah and the fact that walmart's lying about the fucking video it's just more police state bullshit you know it's just this we're too tense man People are too fucking tense, too riled up, too ready to go to battle, even right here at home.

[1294] You know, a fucking old man, you leg sweep him.

[1295] And you see that guy.

[1296] That guy was so frail.

[1297] Just a regular old man, face planted, covered in blood.

[1298] And his poor fucking grandson has to think about that.

[1299] He was just being silly and running away or not listening.

[1300] And grandpa got swept and fucking knocked unconscious by some asshole cop.

[1301] God damn, that makes me sick.

[1302] Well, I'm glad your friend got that video, dude.

[1303] Yeah.

[1304] I wonder what's going to happen now, though.

[1305] He's flying back very soon because he's like the lead witness.

[1306] And so he's like he actually interviewed the lawyers for it for the family.

[1307] Like he went and interviewed lawyers and found the best police brutality lawyer that he could find.

[1308] So he's been doing all this legwork for this family because he if you saw this yourself and you saw the whole thing play down.

[1309] I mean, it made me angry.

[1310] I wasn't even there.

[1311] So luckily, Skyler's been kicking ass and just helping his family out a lot.

[1312] So they got him a good lawyer, and he's going back to do all that.

[1313] Well, that's fucking awesome, man. Good for that guy.

[1314] Good for that guy.

[1315] And we had your boy from Occupy LA here the other day.

[1316] We only talked to him for five seconds.

[1317] Yeah, yellow man. That's what he wants to call himself?

[1318] Yeah.

[1319] Is that his name or yours?

[1320] He said he likes it, so.

[1321] So it's his now.

[1322] Yeah, he's going to be helping me out around the studio, so as soon as we get some sponsors and stuff.

[1323] How do you meet that guy?

[1324] He's actually friends with Sam.

[1325] He went to college with Sam Tripoli, and he's helped on the Naughty Show for a long time.

[1326] And he does animation.

[1327] Really?

[1328] So he's done a lot of little short things for Sam in the past.

[1329] And I've just always kind of kept touch with that guy.

[1330] He's a good guy.

[1331] We should just say, all those people out there that make those video clips, there's a lot of video clips that wind up being made out of rants from the podcast, and there's a bunch of animated clips that get made.

[1332] Whoever the fuck's doing that, all of you, whoever, the people that are doing it, that is the coolest fucking thing.

[1333] So one of the coolest things about this podcast is finding little snippets and little pieces that people have turned into videos and pieces that people have turned into cartoons.

[1334] It's fucking awesome.

[1335] We're having a lot of fun.

[1336] So if you haven't subscribed, Subscribe to Death Squad.

[1337] Subscribe to Death Squad.

[1338] It's on iTunes.

[1339] And that's where you're going to get the Ice House Chronicles, which is a regular event here where we have podcasts going on as the comedy show is going on.

[1340] We go back and forth, and it's a lot of fun.

[1341] Except I heard a bunch of dudes were talking about how much money they made the other day, and everybody got annoyed at them.

[1342] That was interesting, though.

[1343] That was, to me, really interesting.

[1344] It was Bert Kreischer and Steve Renizzisi.

[1345] Because they're both on...

[1346] Cable channels, you know, ones on his or whatever.

[1347] What is it?

[1348] What are they on?

[1349] The League.

[1350] The League.

[1351] FX and the other ones, the Travel Channel.

[1352] Travel Channel.

[1353] And so they were saying, you know, like how much they made per episode.

[1354] And we were all kind of betting.

[1355] Like I totally was off.

[1356] John Heffron was out in the blue.

[1357] Like he was so low that like John was mad.

[1358] People don't like to hear that shit though.

[1359] Yeah.

[1360] But it is interesting.

[1361] People feel like you're bragging.

[1362] I didn't do it.

[1363] Not you.

[1364] I mean you, but you know.

[1365] You talk about your salary.

[1366] It did depress the fuck out of me to think that like one of the, I'm not even going to say who, one of the guys was making per episode more than almost as much as I make per year, which is just like, what?

[1367] Are you kidding me?

[1368] Which one?

[1369] Who cares?

[1370] Folks, this fucking podcast is clearly over.

[1371] Thanks for everything.

[1372] Thanks for being you.

[1373] Thanks for keeping it together.

[1374] Thanks for staying in touch.

[1375] Thanks for being a part of the resistance.

[1376] I don't know what that means.

[1377] Thanks for going to JoeRogan .net and clicking on the link for the Fleshlight.

[1378] Because thanks to the Fleshlight for sponsoring this podcast.

[1379] And you can get 15 % off if you click on the link and enter in the code name ROGAN.

[1380] Thanks also to Onnit .com, creators of AlphaBrain, a cognitive -enhancing supplement.

[1381] that I enjoy and use, and also New Mood.

[1382] I love New Mood.

[1383] It's great stuff, right?

[1384] Does it make you feel happy?

[1385] It's great.

[1386] I need to get more of this shit.

[1387] I got more.

[1388] I'll give it to you.

[1389] It's 5 -HTP, which is really like a natural antidepressant, a pharmaceutical derivative.

[1390] Or rather, pharmaceutical companies will have Prozac and Zoloft and all these different things.

[1391] Excuse me. I'm coughing here.

[1392] And they tell you to not take 5 -HTP while you're taking this stuff because it's like taking two antidepressants.

[1393] It's amazing, you know, when you really think about that.

[1394] I mean, first of all, why would a doctor tell you to do that when you could just go to a fucking GNC and buy your stuff?

[1395] Why do I have to go to a...

[1396] Because they're in bed with the pharmaceutical companies.

[1397] But that's neither here nor there.

[1398] Go to Ana .com, O -N -N -I -T, and pick yourself up some new mood.

[1399] You'll enjoy it.

[1400] Also, we have...

[1401] um shroom tech sport which is great for anybody that's into seriously working out if you're not into like heavy duty working out or you don't have anything really strenuous to do leave that one alone but if you do like working out this cordyceps mushroom supplement is an amazing supplement for for endurance for giving you energy for long workouts it's good stuff and it's not a buzzy feeling it's like a subtle like energy feeling it's good stuff and uh As with all Onnit products, there's a 100 % money back guarantee.

[1402] If you don't like the stuff, it's not working for you, just get your money back, son.

[1403] And if you are into the stuff, you're into trying nootropics, you're fascinated about it, go online, do some research, check it out.

[1404] And if you think that they're too expensive, the Onnit brands, please steal the ingredients and make your own shit.

[1405] Yeah, don't steal the ingredients.

[1406] Buy the ingredients separately in bulk at a discount.

[1407] Or go to Onnit .com and go to JoeRogan .net.

[1408] Click on the link for Onnit AlphaBrain.

[1409] Enter in the code name ROGAN.

[1410] Get yourself 10 % off.

[1411] Shazam, bitches.

[1412] This has been a wonderful and enjoying podcast.

[1413] But unfortunately, it's the only one that we're going to do this week.

[1414] So we'll be back next Monday.

[1415] And until then, sayonara.

[1416] Hasta la vista.

[1417] And a big kiss because I love all you bitches.

[1418] Bye.