Charlie Day

[0] Hi, my name is Charlie Day, and I feel euphoric about being Conan O 'Brien's very best friend in the entire universe.

[1] Well, wait a minute.

[2] All is here, hear the yell, back to school, ring the bell, brandy shoes, walking blues, climb the fence, books and pens, I can tell that we are going to be friends, can tell that we are going to be friends.

[3] Hello, and welcome to.

[4] Conan O 'Brien needs a friend.

[5] I've got a fine podcast for you today.

[6] I never promise anything I can't deliver.

[7] That's actually not true.

[8] I'm actually known for promising a lot and delivering very little.

[9] But I sit here with my companions, my chums, my pals.

[10] Sonam of Sessian.

[11] Hello, Sonia.

[12] And Matt, Gourley.

[13] Now, Matt, I'm told that you're a little loopy today because you're on some kind of powerful medication.

[14] What's going on?

[15] I mean, look at him.

[16] You've got a very different posture than normal.

[17] Seriously, what's happening?

[18] What's up, groove bones?

[19] Yes, groove bones, the name I've always wished I had.

[20] Well, I found out I have tennis elbow, and so they put me on some anti -inflammatories that making me feel pretty good.

[21] Okay.

[22] Can you tell me exactly what the medication is?

[23] Indomethicin?

[24] Does that sound familiar?

[25] That was outlawed years ago.

[26] Hey, you're funny.

[27] Yeah.

[28] What's tennis elbow?

[29] And I'm sure everybody knows what it is.

[30] I didn't know.

[31] I mean, I've heard it, but it's just, I think it's a. In inflammation of the tendons in your elbow.

[32] Right.

[33] And do you play tennis?

[34] No. Why would you call it tennis elbow?

[35] Okay.

[36] What have you been doing?

[37] What do you want me to call it?

[38] Collecting old typewriter's elbow?

[39] Yes.

[40] What, do you, have you been overusing that arm?

[41] I cleared everything out of our garage by myself, box after box.

[42] Wife threw you out, huh?

[43] Yeah, again.

[44] That's what.

[45] Yeah.

[46] So, okay.

[47] Well, so you're on these powerful anti -inflammatories.

[48] What are these side effects?

[49] Do you feel drowsiness Drowsiness Yeah So I do You do what Feel that Are you gonna be able to drive home No Okay Okay Well give it a shot Could one of you guys give me a ride We could easily call you an Uber But part of me thinks We need things to talk about On the podcast So why don't you drive home In this condition And just see what happens The loopiest I've been Have I told you this Like I may have mentioned this But the first time that I had a procedure and they gave me a twilight drug oh yeah yeah mentioned that a few times okay but did I tell you how my wife had to come pick me up she had to walk me home and I just was a child I was a child I was on this twilight drug and this is in New York and so we had to walk like 15 blocks and she was like holding my hand and leading me back to the apartment that's cute like I was a baby and then I just looked at her one point and I said I'm not going to make the Like a kid would And so she took me to McDonald's And I was as happy as I've been in my adult life I would love to go to McDonald's Yeah, because there's something about It was so primal I just wanted comfort food And I went back to my childhood Love my wife, she did a nice thing She took me to McDonald's and she said Sit here and don't move I remember that, don't move And I was like, boost your seat And I swear to God she put like a Burger King Crown on me or something Did she get you a happy meal?

[50] I don't think she got me a happy meal I think she got me a quarter pounder, but she got me a shake.

[51] Do you dip your chicken McNugs in your shake?

[52] Is that an euphemism?

[53] What?

[54] Yeah.

[55] You're a freak.

[56] Did you put your balls in the shake?

[57] Well, I did that.

[58] Just be clear, is all I'm asking you.

[59] Is that a thing people do?

[60] Oh, yeah.

[61] The nugs in a shake?

[62] Yeah, we all dip.

[63] Oh, I thought you meant, do we dip our balls in the shake?

[64] I know that's a common thing.

[65] It's called tea bagging.

[66] Yeah.

[67] Teabagging grimace.

[68] It's called.

[69] The ultimate tea bag himself Yeah Is Grimmis still used Do they still have the characters That we grew up watching on McDonald's?

[70] Like hamburger They're all gone Yeah Remember there were some That actually went away early on Because there's Mayor McCheese And there's the police burger guy Right But they got rid of them I love those characters Yeah And the fry guys I know Ronald's gone But they got rid of everybody Ronald's gone Ronald's not gone He's in jail?

[71] No you don't see him in commercials anymore more.

[72] It was last time you saw Ronald McDonald in a commercial.

[73] That's a good question.

[74] I saw him at Costco the other day.

[75] Okay, well, Hey, man, when you're not as inflamed.

[76] Hey, man. Hey, thanks for being here, Chong.

[77] Nice to have you.

[78] Truths sir.

[79] We should ask me anything.

[80] I'll tell you the truth.

[81] I'm happy to tell you.

[82] You know, this is just an anti -inflammatory.

[83] You're not on LSD.

[84] This is just Such a lightweight.

[85] You're such a lightweight.

[86] It's incredible.

[87] This is taking me back to when we did the summer smores.

[88] and you had a little bit of a drink and started trying to kiss me on my left nipple.

[89] You literally had the equivalent of a rum -flavored cough drop and now you've got your hand on my upper thigh.

[90] Oh my God.

[91] Joe, who works here at the show and is working in this very room often, Joe today asked me seriously.

[92] She said, are you on Adderall?

[93] Because she's so cool.

[94] And she said to me, she said, and she wasn't joking.

[95] She said, are you on Adderall?

[96] And I said, no. And she said, okay, so what is it?

[97] And I said, no, this is, because she was talking about how energetic and talkative I am.

[98] Yeah.

[99] And I said, this is just who I am.

[100] And she went, okay, okay.

[101] She asked if I was on Adderall.

[102] She said, well, I want to try and be a little more like you.

[103] And I said, because Joe is so cool.

[104] She is so cool.

[105] And laid back and kind of effortlessly like, when you're like that, everyone thinks you're the coolest person in the room.

[106] I said, Joe, you don't want to be like me. I want to be like you.

[107] And I can't.

[108] But she asked me if I was on Adderall.

[109] I was shocked when I found out your comedy comes from a sober place.

[110] I thought like your writer's room was just like, you guys are all lighting up joints.

[111] And you're just like, you know.

[112] We were pretty straight.

[113] And I'm like, oh, that's coming from a real sober place.

[114] Not a healthy place, but a sober place.

[115] Yeah, I know.

[116] But you make perfect, you make perfect.

[117] Oh, I'm sorry.

[118] I think Matt just fell asleep.

[119] He did not.

[120] You're fine.

[121] How long we've been going?

[122] We've been going a little while.

[123] It's been long.

[124] But anyway, I think we realized an important thing.

[125] Yeah.

[126] Which is we all have different kinds of fast food.

[127] I'll go with Wendy's.

[128] And that you are a lightweight and that you're minutes from your heart stopping.

[129] You need to get.

[130] I mean, you are really looping out right now.

[131] Did you just snort out?

[132] Stuff from your face?

[133] You made me snot.

[134] I made you snot?

[135] No. How long is...

[136] No, you manufactured the mucous and maybe I said something that made you expel it from your nose, but I didn't make you snot.

[137] You...

[138] How long does tennis elbow last?

[139] I hope a long time.

[140] My God, this is a different mat.

[141] I don't know about this guy.

[142] I'm enjoying it.

[143] Well, I want me some of this stuff.

[144] I'm going to go to my doctor tonight.

[145] I'll say, I've got tennis elbow.

[146] You know what I'm going to do?

[147] I'm going to go out and buy a brand new tennis racket.

[148] It's going to still have the price tag on it.

[149] And I'll go and go, I've got tennis elbow.

[150] I need the anti -inflammatory.

[151] Oh, Doc.

[152] Hello?

[153] And you'll say, why are you holding that racket?

[154] It hasn't even been taken out of the packaging yet.

[155] I was on the court.

[156] I really had a good game.

[157] We've got to.

[158] We've got to talk to a guest, you know?

[159] And not got to, get to.

[160] Because I love this guy.

[161] My guest today, talented actor and writer.

[162] You better wait.

[163] Have a cup of coffee or something there, Gourley.

[164] You're going to snap, snap out of this, okay?

[165] Okay, buddy.

[166] My guest today is.

[167] Very talented actor and writer, best known for playing Charlie Kelly on the long -running FX series.

[168] It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia.

[169] Sona, you have built shrines to this show.

[170] I absolutely love this show so much.

[171] As many people do, he now has a new movie, which he wrote, directed, and stars in called Fool's Paradise.

[172] In theaters May 12th, I'm excited he's here with us.

[173] Charlie Day, welcome.

[174] I'm delighted you're here.

[175] I'm thrilled to be here.

[176] Someone just reminded me that you did the late night show a bunch of times or some incarnation of one of the shows, but I think nine times.

[177] Yeah.

[178] Which I say is too many.

[179] That shows a neediness on your part.

[180] But you kept having me in, which I appreciate it.

[181] Yeah.

[182] To get to, I know we're ready for the jokes.

[183] We want to get into it.

[184] Full seriousness.

[185] This is my absolute favorite talk show ever to be on.

[186] I think you were the first one.

[187] If it wasn't the first one I did, it was the first one that I felt like I did correctly.

[188] Oh, wow.

[189] Because in my mind, you were my Johnny Carson.

[190] Oh, that's sweet.

[191] Thank you.

[192] Top of the mountain top.

[193] And now that you've quit, I resent you.

[194] And I'm forced to do all the other people.

[195] All the lesser then.

[196] Oh, well, that's very sweet of you to say.

[197] I think we have a bunch of things in common, which is, it's so funny because my introduction to It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia was Sona, my Earthswell assistant, coming in and screaming at me. Did you see it's always sunny last night?

[198] And I say, no, I didn't see it last night.

[199] You know, I didn't see.

[200] And her just her whole, you know, what I used to do at the late night show was make sure the way Stalin did that there were images of me everywhere.

[201] Yes.

[202] You know, magazine covers and everything was Conan.

[203] And then you'd get to Sona's part of the office.

[204] And it was all, it's always sunny.

[205] Yeah.

[206] Just pretty much that whole area.

[207] It was a lot of, they're just fun pictures, like promo pictures and stuff.

[208] But yeah, you're making me sound kind of crazy.

[209] But you also, you have great comedic taste, in my opinion.

[210] I think I do.

[211] And you were right about.

[212] And I always felt you guys collectively, guys gout, that you have this, I don't know, similar philosophy about making people laugh that made me very happy, which was just this, things could get very anarchic and crazy, but the show never really took itself very seriously and still hasn't.

[213] And there was just a pure raw, we're going to have fun and make fools of ourselves, if need be.

[214] I think we're in the business, the very serious business of how ridiculous can we be.

[215] Yeah.

[216] Which isn't as easy as just saying, okay, let's go goof off.

[217] like we'll put an extraordinary amount of work and thought and conversation into the most ridiculous thing.

[218] Yes, yes.

[219] But the passion and cares.

[220] Also, we may have learned a lot of this from you.

[221] You may be partly responsible.

[222] Well, that's the point I'm getting to.

[223] I think there's a cut of the royalties.

[224] Yeah, yeah.

[225] Talk to Robin Glenn.

[226] I'm sure I'll get very far.

[227] It's a funny dichotomy that I talk to people about, which is two things.

[228] silly and I love abstract foolishness taken to its extreme and I'm also deadly deadly serious about it and you understand that the two things coexist because I think there are a lot of people who think oh the always funny guys if you you know if you hung out in their writer's room if you hung out with them it's just clowning all the time and I know for a fact that no there were probably very very heated arguments about how the really stupid thing should happen.

[229] We got in one this year, 16 years into doing the show and a good sort of heated debate about this is the way to do it and this is the way to do it.

[230] We do it every single.

[231] It's exhausting.

[232] It's exhausting.

[233] But it's all that sort of arguing and planning so that you can have that, you know, 15 minutes of just raw, funny, which is like, are we all agree that this is the best scenario for something to be funny and now just let it rip because we feel sort of safe.

[234] Like, we've built up the work around it, and here's a playground with which to destroy sandcastles.

[235] Yeah.

[236] Well, we have, going back, we have a bunch of things in common.

[237] You grew up in Rhode Island.

[238] I did.

[239] And I kind of grew up in Rhode Island because...

[240] Explain.

[241] Yeah.

[242] One foot in Rhode Island.

[243] I used to drive there every night and spend an hour.

[244] On a dock with a sea go.

[245] And a fisherman.

[246] From childhood every day, it was an important.

[247] My dad insisted.

[248] No, my, my, yeah, I'm from, from Massachusetts, from Brookline right outside Boston.

[249] And then we didn't have a summer house growing up.

[250] And we would go and stay at my grandfather's house, which was in Miss Cuomaca, Rhode Island, right next to the state beach.

[251] Sure.

[252] So we were, you know, he was a retired policeman.

[253] We would hang out at his house and then walk down to the state beach.

[254] I would hang around Rhode Island.

[255] And sometimes we would hang around there for a month to two months in the summer.

[256] Okay.

[257] And so I got a really good dose of the Rhode Island vibe.

[258] And I have to say, I mean, it's funny because it's a very strong accent.

[259] People complain about the Boston accent, the Rhode Island accent.

[260] You start to tip into New York in Rhode Island, where it kind of mashes the two.

[261] Yeah, and my favorite is I once stopped in Cranston, Rhode Island.

[262] Cranston, yeah.

[263] Cranston.

[264] And I got out of my car to fill up my tank of gas, and I had my hat on just to try and like, I just want to, this is, you know, years and years into the late night show.

[265] I'm just going to fill up with gas, and this woman, like, in an acid wash jacket, got out of her Jeep, and she walked up to me, and she's giving me the look like, you can't hide from me, and she went, I spotted you.

[266] I spotted you.

[267] You're trying to hide.

[268] You think you're a big shot now, huh?

[269] And I thought, man, that's Cranston, Rhode Island.

[270] Yeah, Cranston especially, is pretty thick.

[271] I would get a lot of it.

[272] I go home, and I'd get a lot of that.

[273] One of my friend's father's, he's a carpenter in Rhode Island.

[274] Portuguese, Rhode Island, tough as nails.

[275] And I'd start coming home and he'd say, what's up, Kevin?

[276] And I started thinking, oh, no, he's starting to, his nickname was Peach.

[277] Pete's starting to lose it a little bit.

[278] And then I realized he was calling me Kevin because he started calling me, ah, here comes Kostna.

[279] So, so.

[280] Just because you had had success?

[281] Yes.

[282] You are now Kevin Kostner.

[283] Yeah.

[284] Yeah.

[285] An actor to him is only Kevin Costner.

[286] Actors in acting stocks.

[287] That's hilarious.

[288] Ah, it comes Costner.

[289] Oh, it comes Costner.

[290] Like, yeah, should I wash my car for him or whatever?

[291] But, yeah.

[292] So, Kevin Costner is where actors begin and end.

[293] That's hilarious.

[294] Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[295] Yeah.

[296] And if something's good, he has a language of his own.

[297] This guy's language is also, something's good, it's clean.

[298] So he was like, you know, right now he'd probably if I saw me, be like, I heard that Super Mario brother that's pretty big.

[299] That's clean, brother.

[300] Clean.

[301] Yeah, clean is good.

[302] Clean is positive.

[303] And, you know, if it came out in tanked, you'd be like, I saw you a movie.

[304] Suspect.

[305] Clean and suspect.

[306] Clean and suspect.

[307] Are they two, that's the only two words you really need.

[308] Those are both like criminal terms.

[309] I know.

[310] I love that.

[311] He's clean.

[312] He's got no idea.

[313] Yeah, that's a suspect.

[314] Well, that sums up Rhode Island for you.

[315] Yeah.

[316] That is hilarious.

[317] I was in Westerly.

[318] You know, the town of Westerly at all?

[319] And I was in Westerly, Rhode Island.

[320] And this is about, I don't know, like eight years ago.

[321] And I was with my mom and my brother, Neil.

[322] And we were in this restaurant.

[323] It was a Portuguese kind of Italian restaurant.

[324] And we're in there and we're having our meal.

[325] And the waitress recognized me. And I could see her looking at me. And then she went out back and I guess made a phone call.

[326] And then she came out.

[327] And this very thick accent that I can't really do.

[328] But she was like, I talked to the manager.

[329] And he's the deal.

[330] deal if you would come back and do two days of like signing autographs and we could we could we could publicize it you know conan o 'brien's going to be here and he's going to do two days he's going to sign autographs and you greet everyone at their table if you could do that for two days dinner's on us so how to go for real that was a real dinner's on us and i was just thinking like I so want to call my representation in Los Angeles and get them involved.

[331] And, you know, they'll be saying things like, well, wait a minute.

[332] No, you're going to send a plane, right?

[333] No, no, fucking plane.

[334] But din is included.

[335] How much parmesan?

[336] Yeah, yeah, how much parmesan?

[337] Yeah, and you know that, and I know that these people would win.

[338] These people would defeat my representation.

[339] A $12 bowl of clam chatter is on us.

[340] We just want two entire days of your time.

[341] Yeah.

[342] It was two days, which I thought was really weird.

[343] like, really?

[344] Two days?

[345] You got two days for one meal.

[346] It's a real.

[347] Also, I know that some people would come the first day and then no one would come the second day.

[348] Like, you know, you'd pretty much meet everyone that would want to say hi to me in one day.

[349] And do you get a free meal each day or is it just one for the two days?

[350] They said dinner's on us.

[351] They said singular.

[352] Single dinner, yeah.

[353] So I don't think I get a dinner the first night, but I do get it the second night.

[354] Wow.

[355] Or maybe I get it the second night and not the, I mean, the first night, but not the second night.

[356] Who knows?

[357] That's a real win -win for them, you know.

[358] All the people I screwed up.

[359] That's suspect.

[360] You should have done it.

[361] So you grew up there.

[362] I know, I'm fascinated by a couple of things.

[363] People that come from the same part of the world that I do and also and are obsessed with comedy and also people that have a music connection.

[364] I've always been sort of a frustrated music wannabe.

[365] And I think that there's a very strong connection between music and comedy.

[366] Oh, yeah.

[367] And I know that that was part of your childhood because aren't your parents professional?

[368] Both.

[369] Well, yeah, retired music teachers.

[370] But my mom was just, you know, the kindergarten through eighth grade music teacher at a small private school.

[371] And my dad taught the local college like music history one and two.

[372] But they're eggheads for sure.

[373] They both have their PhDs in musicology.

[374] As does my sister in choral conducting.

[375] And so I was like, you know, they didn't have any money.

[376] So I was like, this is, no, music's not for me. And then I started being like, well, maybe you could be a rock star, and that's a different deal.

[377] But then, like, I felt like, you know, I could noodle on a lot of instruments, and then you'd meet the one kid who could just shred a guitar.

[378] And you're like, well, yeah, I don't, I don't got it.

[379] I don't got it.

[380] Yes.

[381] It becomes clear pretty quickly.

[382] My theory, and I've mentioned to hear a bunch of the podcast, is that when you're a kid, you have a checklist.

[383] And whether you're doing it consciously or unconsciously, you're kind of checking out, like, athlete.

[384] In my case, it was athlete, no. You know, lady killer, no. Just like a lot of nose and then make, what's this thing at the bottom?

[385] Wait, was that a professional?

[386] I know, what is, what, that's what you wanted to get into?

[387] No, just like, no, not professionally.

[388] Like a Jack the Ripper kind of thing.

[389] So like, what's your persona?

[390] Sort of a Ted Bundy kind of thing.

[391] You can still do that.

[392] Too messy.

[393] No, you roam from state to state.

[394] Oh, okay.

[395] Yeah, and there's a, no, that more, More that, what are your assets?

[396] I guess is that what I would say?

[397] I guess that's what I'm talking about it.

[398] What are your assets?

[399] And then I finally just like remember, no, no, no, no, no. I seem to be able to make people chuckle.

[400] Also, you hit a certain point where you're like, this is the only way I can figure out how to feed myself.

[401] Like math is off the table, sports.

[402] Yeah.

[403] Modeling, forget it.

[404] But if I can just squeeze a couple of chuckles out of somebody and get by.

[405] Right.

[406] Yeah.

[407] You tried for a while going on legitimate acting auditions, but it wasn't really until you started making your own stuff.

[408] I knew that it just, it was going to hit a wall.

[409] So like both Rob and Glenn and myself, we were working the way extraordinarily handsome young men in their 20s can get some work.

[410] Sure, I was there.

[411] I did that, yeah.

[412] You know, like the guy at the dock being like, yeah, I saw him.

[413] Yeah, you know.

[414] Pretty decent guy.

[415] Hard work, and I think, I did notice blood on the finger, you know, like that.

[416] Like that hard.

[417] So how many law and orders is that?

[418] Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[419] That is my favorite observation is, and it's the same thing for Dragnet and Law and Order.

[420] Whenever they're questioning someone, it's like, no, no, anything else you want to say before we go?

[421] Well, there was one thing.

[422] He wore a World War I German helmet.

[423] Dan, dun, do you lead with that.

[424] I don't know, whatever you make of that.

[425] And then, you know, yeah, that's...

[426] So you did a couple of, like, one -line things.

[427] I did a Law & Order and, like, a couple things here and there.

[428] I was always coming close.

[429] I was testing for a lot of TV shows to always be the best friend, never to be the guy.

[430] Yeah, yeah.

[431] Actually, one time I got flown out for a show that was called Weird Henry.

[432] And they're like, well, maybe he could be weird Henry.

[433] He sure seems weird.

[434] And then, you know, I think the studio saw the test and we're like, we're going to cancel this show.

[435] this is a the whole thing got scrapped after my audition and then i booked a part on the louis guzman sitcom and there were two writers on that staff that i'm like these guys are really really funny there's uh chris miller and phil lord oh yeah of course yeah so they went on to be pretty successful and uh that got canceled after three episodes aired and it was around then that robin glenn and i were thinking you know why wait why sit around and wait for another one of these and then you don't even necessarily like what you're being given and the opportunity to do.

[436] Why not just shoot something ourselves?

[437] And we were looking at the British office.

[438] Yep.

[439] And how sort of cheap it looked.

[440] It just seemed very handheld and very easy to shoot.

[441] And the lighting just seemed like they threw the lights on in an office and filmed it.

[442] Curb had just come out around then and it felt the same.

[443] The Panasonic DVX 100A camera, not that we were big camera guys, but somebody, Glenn or someone had stumbled upon this camera and it kind of looked like those shows.

[444] but it was an affordable camera.

[445] So that combination of a attainable look with an affordable camera and we thought, well, we could shoot something.

[446] There was no TikTok to just sort of throw it away on.

[447] YouTube, I think, was just kind of coming onto the scene.

[448] We thought, well, let's shoot a pilot.

[449] And we made a terrible pilot.

[450] But there was a thing in it.

[451] There was something in the spirit of it that we thought, okay, let's redo it because it cost us nothing.

[452] And we had a lot of spare time.

[453] And then we said, well, let's shoot it again.

[454] We shot a second episode, and we sort of handed that to our agents, so we started going around town.

[455] Or they said, let's hook you up with a big producer.

[456] And we waited forever for someone to watch it.

[457] Nobody watched it.

[458] And while we were waiting, we shot a third episode.

[459] And that third episode started to get pretty good.

[460] We started to find our voice and our timing and get a little bit better how to use the camera.

[461] And it was the third episode that Rob had the, his lack of patience was amazing.

[462] very useful.

[463] He was like, I'm going to fire everyone unless we start getting meetings.

[464] And they're like, okay, okay, we'll set up some meetings.

[465] And he took it around and pitched it.

[466] And we had an offer from VH1, I think, to rewrite it.

[467] Or maybe it was MTV.

[468] And we had an offer from FX to shoot a pilot with a real budget.

[469] By a real budget, I mean like one -tenth of what a television show is made for.

[470] But that was a hundred times more than what we were working for.

[471] We shot that pilot.

[472] They picked it up.

[473] They said, we'll give you seven episodes, and then we did seven, and then they were like, okay, we're going to cancel the show, but unless you can get a big name attached, and Danny DeVito had seen the show and liked it, and then here we are, still going.

[474] That's fascinating to me that, I mean, you hear stories about, you need a big name.

[475] Yeah.

[476] I always thought like it almost sounds apocryphal, like it's this thing from the 1940s or 50s, but it's true.

[477] Yeah, especially then, maybe less so now, because there's so many different things that you could maybe launch something and people just, the buzz of it being a popular show on, say, Netflix, people might check it out.

[478] But then, I think to break through it all, yeah, if we hadn't gotten Danny, that would have been it.

[479] Now, how many seasons has it been now?

[480] This is going to blow my mind when you say it.

[481] We just shot the 16th season.

[482] That's unbelievable to me. And I think you've broken the record or tied the record for longest running multi -cam sitcom, is something like that?

[483] We passed Ozzie and Harriet last year for the longest.

[484] And they did about a thousand episodes, you know.

[485] Oh, my God.

[486] We've done so many less.

[487] You know, now we're only doing eight a year.

[488] But, you know, I think back then they were like, all right, get to work and you're going to do 50 of these, you know.

[489] But now, you know, so yes, we're the longest running.

[490] We haven't done the most episodes.

[491] And then cartoons, like The Simpsons has been around forever.

[492] I'm going to tell me about it.

[493] I left The Simpsons in 1993.

[494] And I remember thinking, well, this old horse has just about had it.

[495] So I'll just go do a late night show now.

[496] Were you at all thinking like, they'll never survive without me. No, I'm deluded, but not that diluted.

[497] No, I knew that they survived very well, that they would survive very well without me and probably be enhanced.

[498] But I, but, yeah, I left and remembered thinking like, well, this thing has now been chugging along for like six, seven seasons, and it's an animated show and it's very labor intensive.

[499] How could it possibly continue?

[500] cut to 30 years later.

[501] That's insane.

[502] Do you think it's time for them to stop?

[503] Yes, I do.

[504] Oh, no. Who knows?

[505] I only said that because I still am good friends with many of the people that still make it, so they know I don't feel that way.

[506] But this is really funny for me to go, yes, they should stop immediately.

[507] Have they had enough episodes for the characters to have aged a year?

[508] If theoretically...

[509] Well, it's the beauty of...

[510] Yeah, of course they have, right?

[511] 365 episodes?

[512] Yeah.

[513] They easily have.

[514] But, I mean, that's the conceit, right?

[515] They never get older.

[516] They never get older.

[517] And Mr. Burns never remembers who Homer Simpson is.

[518] That's my other favorite.

[519] Simpson, hey?

[520] Yeah, that's great.

[521] And no one knows how old he is.

[522] He's like, well, sir, he saved your life.

[523] He once was in charge of the moon.

[524] He, you know, whatever.

[525] You transplanted your lungs into his once.

[526] You once adopted him.

[527] All these, ah, it doesn't ring a bell.

[528] which is a great, great conceit.

[529] I would imagine we have, every joke we've done on our show, they've done five times, like every version of joke.

[530] Well, here's the thing is that, you know, it's funny because I used to think about this on late night because we were very determined to like, we want to make sure that we're doing sketches that nobody's ever done before and stuff that's really completely out there that no one's thought of.

[531] And we tried really hard to do that.

[532] And as time goes on, I think you're not competing against other shows, you're competing against everyone in the world who has an iPhone.

[533] Oh, yeah.

[534] It's very, very, very difficult to outwit all of humanity.

[535] Yeah, no, you can't.

[536] I mean, we are.

[537] You and I are, which is nice.

[538] No, you and I can do it.

[539] Yeah, we can do it.

[540] But we're out of our show.

[541] You know, we're like two gods on a cloud drinking out of golden chalices, looking down at mortals, and we're trying to imagine what it's like for them.

[542] Yeah, yeah.

[543] We have a bigger platform, of course.

[544] But, no, but I mean, it's kind of the point where we can't, even ourselves, where we're like, oh, my God, we've done that.

[545] Every time we break a story, we'll write it, we'll be, oh, we did this.

[546] We did completely this.

[547] We have to scrap it.

[548] You know what's really fun is I love watching people 100 % commit, and this is something you do really well and the other cast members, but you commit, when you commit, it's something I believe in religiously, which is you have to go in 110%.

[549] When you lose your shit as Charlie Kelly, you go full, full out.

[550] and I think that that's a quality of the show.

[551] There's no restraint.

[552] When it's time to go, it is complete meltdowns, complete insane meltdowns.

[553] Yeah, I don't want to feel as though I've left anything on the table.

[554] You have not.

[555] And honestly, this is going to sound like actor BS, but I go into a like trance like, I dilute myself and I'm gone.

[556] And I'll come out of a scene and be like, I have no idea what I did.

[557] I hope it was good.

[558] And then I'll get in the editing room.

[559] We were like, no, it wasn't, it wasn't, it wasn't, but that one was, that one was good.

[560] Sometimes I can't do that, and I'm hyper aware of the camera guys here, the boom guy's got a cold, he's like, you know, you're aware of it.

[561] But sometimes you just black out and then, and just, I don't know, just kind of barf out of performance and it seems like vomit on the screen and the audience loves it because they say that's real.

[562] There's a really weird thing.

[563] You could probably relate to this, but there are a lot of things I can't do if it needs to.

[564] to be serious or sincere.

[565] Oh, yeah.

[566] But if it's in the name of comedy, I feel that I might be able, there are times where I felt I might be able to break the world record for a mile if I thought it would make an audience full of people left.

[567] Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[568] Do you know what I mean?

[569] Of course.

[570] There are things you can do, and obviously that is not the case, but there are times where we did a tour in 2010, and you were probably there for this sona, but we were in some venue and it was going really well and I was in the crowd and then I got up on the ledge and there's like a 30 foot drop into the audience and I remember and I'm like on the ledge and like doing stick to make the crowd laugh Andy rightly was furious and he was just like what the what the fuck was that you're like the Tom Cruise of comedy you're gonna die that way okay but yeah but it's what I'm saying is I acknowledge I'm you know I don't want it to be a a humble brag or a flex because I'm often afterwards realizing, oh, this is the sign of something that needs work.

[571] Like, seriously, like, this is, this is, I'm a smart person and I have a wife and kids and I love my family and relatives.

[572] And I know better than to do that.

[573] Why did I do that?

[574] It's because I knew that the crowd is this happy hand high up.

[575] But if I could, I could notch it up a little higher if I stood up on the ledge.

[576] Wouldn't that be cool?

[577] If you're Tom Cruise and you entertain people by doing death -defying stunts, then potentially it's the same kind of thing where you just, that's how you communicate with people and you are doing it over and over again.

[578] I think for you and I, it's easier with comedy because that was probably a safe place for you as a kid growing up.

[579] Oh, yeah.

[580] I couldn't do anything Tom Cruise does, include run convincingly.

[581] You know, like that's the other thing, too.

[582] I'd like to see it, though.

[583] No, you know what I would love to do.

[584] I would love to do.

[585] This just reminds me something I've really been itching to do, and I'm just going to say it right now, but we've been shooting something for HBO Max where I travel around and meet up with fans, kind of a travel show idea, and we were going to be, we shot one in Norway already, and we knew that there was a possibility that Tom Cruise would be in, like, the same area that we were in.

[586] And I've worked with him before, and he was really great.

[587] He was very funny, played it perfectly.

[588] He was a joy to work with.

[589] But the idea is I want to shoot a segment where he teaches me how to run the way he runs in a movie because apparently there's a whole technique to it.

[590] Yeah, it's very back straight, arms are pointy.

[591] Yes, and if you don't do it exactly right, you look like a fool.

[592] And what I've always thought is I'd really like really good cameras, like him to run.

[593] and then I would like to run the way I run and not trying to be funny.

[594] Just run the way a six foot four, not very athletic, man my age runs and run, but with the real cameras and stuff and then put the music to it and I think it would be one of the funniest things.

[595] I'd say go get that bear and just set the bear loose and you will run very convincing.

[596] I will run very convincing me. It's funny that.

[597] The bear, everyone was like, you know, what if the bear had, uh, had, you know, bitten me or something when I, I forgot it was my hand or my head or whatever, but I shove something in the bear's mouth.

[598] And I think the bear just recoiled at my neediness.

[599] And I saw the bear backstage talking to other bears like, it just comes from a bad place.

[600] The needy ones do not taste.

[601] You can tell he's a middle child.

[602] I'm full of cortisol and it's just, uh, makes the muscles all sin you.

[603] you know someone's really needy and makes the meat taste better yeah yeah yeah oh no it makes the meat bad yeah fat and happy is how you want them but yeah yeah I don't know why the bears are smoking in my but the needy ones they are of course they are like a sour grape what was it what was it like for you to go from you're making this very handheld like it's a mom -paw shop and you're making your comedy and then you get you get into something like Pacific Rim which is one of those movies where I can't even imagine because I can relate to you in the world of it's always sunny in Philadelphia and then when I think about and even playing a comedic role in a you know a movie but when I think about you in something like when that first Pacific Rim came out and you realize oh my God it's such a good movie and you realize that you're part of an apparatus that is so massive and you are it's the complete other end of the spectrum from the kind of work that you were doing and you did it really well oh thank you well I think I was lucky that I got to have that transition working with Guillermo del Toro so as massive as that movie was he has a way of working that makes it feel super personal and specific I had some green screen work, but most of the things that I was doing, he had built some kind of practical prop that was like animatronic that I was, you know, reacting to.

[604] So it wasn't quite like getting stuck into like the Star Wars remakes where, you know, it was just all green screen.

[605] Right, right.

[606] You're always acting to a green sock or a green tennis ball.

[607] Yeah.

[608] And Guillermo had a very, very specific way of working.

[609] I was a huge fan.

[610] So I just wanted to do a good job for him.

[611] and I still admire him so much and look up to him a lot.

[612] But, you know, in the beginning of the film, he was saying, he's like, I want you to do it.

[613] I never do this.

[614] I want you to be loose and out of control and wild and messy.

[615] And by the end of the filming, he was like, on take one, your hand was here.

[616] On take two, it was here.

[617] But that's just, I mean, I really enjoyed getting to work within his parameters.

[618] Sure.

[619] Yeah.

[620] Every now and then, I'd be doing a take and he wouldn't be liking what I was doing.

[621] He'd be telling me what to do.

[622] And I'd be thinking, oh, boy, I'm not giving him what he wants.

[623] And then I would throw it away and just do whatever I want.

[624] And be like, yes, like that, you know, which is always sort of the case that you have to make it your own.

[625] But it was eye -opening, just the way he used the camera and I'm a big movie nerd.

[626] So I was just geeking out on his techniques.

[627] He was saying, he was like, I like to scratch the lens for the CGI shot.

[628] I'm like, scratch the lens.

[629] He's like, I want you to see, I don't know, maybe it's wrong to do an impersonation of him every time.

[630] That's okay.

[631] But he was saying, I want you to see something imperfect before you see the perfection of CGI.

[632] The way his mind was working, I was just eating it all up.

[633] And then I would go back to Sunny and we'd be shooting.

[634] I remember we did an episode where we're in a police station and it's a flashback and we're talking about this wedding massacre that happened with people were high on bath salts.

[635] And I was saying, okay, when we shoot it, you know, we'll do the coverage that Richie Keene, great director had sort of blocked out.

[636] But I said, hey, Richie, after we get that, can we do a few Guillermo takes and just circle the camera around the actors and just started using more, as I would call them, Guillermo takes throughout the show.

[637] And just getting more and more inspired to do more filming and make more things.

[638] The only thing that would be dangerous there is I know that in a comedy environment, you can take shit for that.

[639] Like, you just came back from your Guillermo del Toro blockbuster and you're back with your friends.

[640] You're like, you know what we did on Pacific Rim, you know, and then suddenly you're right back in Rhode Island.

[641] Yeah, Kevin.

[642] Yeah.

[643] Movie style, yeah.

[644] I think it's Kaiju.

[645] Yeah, yeah, exactly.

[646] Fortunately, I think Robin Glenn, our relationship is not like that.

[647] So, you know, pretty much best idea wins and a pretty open environment for let's try all sorts of things.

[648] So everyone was game for it.

[649] Yeah, because I got to see your movie, Fool's Paradise, and I know it's coming out in May 12th.

[650] May 12th, okay.

[651] Only in theaters.

[652] Only in theaters, as it should be.

[653] It's time.

[654] It's time for America to join again in the cathedral that is a theater.

[655] Better than a real cathedral, because we're going to have that God talk.

[656] Or we could do some God talk before the movie, if you'd like.

[657] If you like, of course, it's all up to what you want to do.

[658] Praise the Lord.

[659] Have some popcorn.

[660] Have some popcorn.

[661] Get your feet off the seat.

[662] Turn off your fucking phone.

[663] But I saw your movie, Fool's Paradise, and I really loved it.

[664] I really love your film, and I love you in it.

[665] And you wrote this movie, and you directed it.

[666] It's very sweet.

[667] You guys haven't seen it yet, because I just got this advanced copy that I watched.

[668] But it is very much evocative to me of Chaplin, Buster Keaton.

[669] It's got a real sweetness to it.

[670] your character is you're doing that same thing a chaplain did uh out of necessity and then harpo marks did which is you're not saying a word and you're very expressive and you really are playing this person who is picked up by the hollywood machine and um you're at the very center of it and you're very passive it's it's a little bit like being there and being there i think was my initial okay could i make a movie like being there no one's going to do that anymore i guess i'll just do it myself.

[671] And then when I realized, it's not totally working, I said, okay, can I combine it with Broadway Danny Rose, where I have this sort of sad, sack guy?

[672] And that only then was able to sort of land the plane.

[673] Your character is so content in his own, I will say one thing, he's so content in his own space that at one point he's at a Hollywood party, and he doesn't say anything.

[674] He's very much a chaplain -esque kind of character, and he falls into the pool accidentally and can't swim.

[675] And he sinks to the bottom, and his hat just saddles.

[676] on his head and he's just sitting at the bottom of the pool making no effort to say and I thought this is such a great example of how little this character wants or needs and how passive he is and you're just sitting there when another character comes in and and saves you but had that character not come in he would have stayed there until you'd die the movie would have ended there which could have been an interesting film just too short yeah but yeah yeah did an extremely passive character.

[677] And then, you know, there's some justification, which is that he's, you know, we meet him in a mental institution and the idea is that he's suffered some sort of trauma and we don't know what.

[678] And he has almost like the mind of a child.

[679] And, you know, there's another doctor there who says, well, you know, if we give him enough sort of exposure therapy and maybe if he has a meaningful connection with another person, he can sort of break free from this sort of regressive psychosis that he's in.

[680] But it's going to be a lot of work and it's going to be a lot of effort, a lot of time and the other doctor says okay well what's our first course of action and the guy says well state's not going to pay for any of that so we're going to put his ass in the first bus down down which they do which they do and then the movie begins and it's funny too because you're you're you're parodying Hollywood and and the Hollywood you're making fun of they're making pictures and they're making them almost the way they did in the 30s but it takes place in current times yeah sort of a heightened thing yeah it's really fun where I thought okay I I could just set it now, but in some ways now is not enough to satirize Hollywood.

[681] Can I make it almost feel as though it's satirizing Hollywood through the ages?

[682] Yeah.

[683] There's also a great part where your character is invited on a talk show, and it's, you've made a generic talk show, and of course, I'm watching it as me, and I'm watching these two idiots laughing like hyenas that bring you out.

[684] and just find everything funny.

[685] And there's part of me that thought, yeah, that's kind of...

[686] It's done with love.

[687] It's not with love.

[688] No, no, but it's also, it's just, it's, it's, it's, uh, it's parodying every type of show like that.

[689] So it's not specific, but it was really, um, that part was really making me howl.

[690] Because it's so over the top.

[691] It's a good performance by, uh, Jimmy Simpson.

[692] Really far.

[693] Yeah.

[694] Yeah.

[695] Yeah.

[696] I think initially I wanted to see if I could go on.

[697] a few talk shows and and shoot it like that.

[698] And then ultimately I felt as though stylistically it would take you out and then it would take you out of the movie to have like a real world person going back and forth between these fictional characters.

[699] Also I mean a lot of movies do that where the character you know I taped a number in my day and you see it all the time and I always thought it was something I never loved doing which was when the character in the movie has it briefly stops off at a talk show and I'm there saying so you'd mean to say that you think there could be life on another planet and you know and then it shows up in the movie theater and it just always felt a little lame whereas creating a fake talk show I thought was much funnier.

[700] Oh, thank you.

[701] It's trickier to make a talk show than you would think because there's no idea.

[702] I mean to make a fake one.

[703] I'd make a fake one yeah.

[704] Because the sets are big and the audience is big and I didn't have the time or the budget to do that.

[705] So it's actually only a curtain and and then the stage itself.

[706] Right.

[707] There is no audience there.

[708] The spoiler alert.

[709] Cut that.

[710] It's called the laugh track.

[711] Yeah, yeah.

[712] And a laugh track, yeah, that's right.

[713] Well, I'm a huge fan, and I love your approach, which is you're trying to make people laugh.

[714] It's interesting when you take it back to its core, you know, have some people say like, well, what are you?

[715] Are you a satirist or are you a humorist?

[716] And I think if you really take it down to the core, I think I might be a clown.

[717] And that might just be the simplest way to put it.

[718] And then you can dress it up.

[719] And if someone at the New York Times likes you, they call you something else.

[720] It sounds a little fancier.

[721] But at the core, I'm still, it's the same impulse that I was using on a playground in Brookline, Mass, in 1974.

[722] Do you ever feel challenged by it as if, I often think, okay, am I going, am I making too many jokes?

[723] Are there too many jokes within this movie?

[724] Do I have to be more serious?

[725] Do I, I mean, there are heartfelt moments in the movie, but I also undercut it frequently.

[726] Yeah, no, I think it's really well -paced.

[727] That was my feeling is that it's really well -paced.

[728] And yeah, I think, yes, there are times where I look at stuff I've done and we're in edit, and I'm just like, shut up.

[729] I mean, I'm saying it to myself.

[730] I'm like, shut up.

[731] Right.

[732] There's too much.

[733] Too many jokes.

[734] Too many jokes.

[735] And you're, you know, let's just, and really sometimes the best things happen during quiet moments, which took me a while to realize unfortunately I realized it.

[736] I think fairly early on, but that sometimes saying very little and letting someone else talk and just reacting to them naturally is much funnier than anything I'm going to come up with.

[737] I did a whole movie of that.

[738] Yeah.

[739] Yeah.

[740] Well, exactly.

[741] Yeah.

[742] I find like when I'm writing something, I wrote another movie in the time that I was sort of in the edit room on this and was passing it to some friends and they were saying, you know, like, you should make it less funny.

[743] And, you know, because they like the story.

[744] And they said, you get more serious.

[745] And I know that's the right direction and I'll sit within and I'll do it.

[746] But my first instinct always is just don't people want to sit in a theater and just laugh and laugh and laugh?

[747] But sometimes to get them to laugh, you have to pull a few jokes out so that the laugh's land.

[748] Right.

[749] No, it's true.

[750] I think that's true.

[751] What I don't want to do is make people think.

[752] Oh, you don't.

[753] I really don't.

[754] I don't either because I don't know how to think.

[755] I've heard that before.

[756] People are like, you know, not only did he make you laugh, he made you think.

[757] And I go, yeah, lose that second part.

[758] Yeah.

[759] Lose that part.

[760] I want people to be dumber after they've seen my world.

[761] Yeah, yeah.

[762] I think I do too.

[763] I think I do too.

[764] Well, this is an absolute joy, Charlie, as I said, coming, you know, just I'm looking forward to talking to you, and it's been a little while, and I love that you're doing this work.

[765] I mean, Fool's Paradise is coming out.

[766] May 12th.

[767] May 12th.

[768] And also, you're in the biggest movie in the world.

[769] True.

[770] Right now.

[771] True.

[772] It just made, what did it make?

[773] It made $8 billion in half.

[774] It made $8 billion of those little coins that Mario hits.

[775] Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[776] Just bashed into eight billion bricks.

[777] Their hands are just bloody.

[778] Yeah, the Super Mario Brothers movie.

[779] That is, congratulations.

[780] Thanks.

[781] That's crazy.

[782] It's been a crazy ride.

[783] Just, um.

[784] As long as you have a piece of the merchandising.

[785] you should be fine.

[786] Bad news, pal.

[787] I got some bad news for you.

[788] Yeah, yeah.

[789] They paid me with video game coins.

[790] Yeah, yeah.

[791] But they make such a fun sound when they rain down.

[792] That's how they got me. That's how they got me. Well, Charlie, continued success as if you needed it, but you will have it and you deserve it.

[793] So thank you for being here.

[794] Well, thank you.

[795] I'm really, it means the world to me that you like the movie because I do feel like you're my target audience, which is to say like, I'm like, oh, okay.

[796] I want like a Conan O 'Brien to like this because if the top of the comedy guys like it, then it's up to the standard that I hope it would be up to.

[797] That is really nice, you to say.

[798] Back at you, so thank you.

[799] All right.

[800] Good night.

[801] I never say good night.

[802] Good night.

[803] God night, Kostner.

[804] I spotted you Kossner.

[805] I see you, puppy gas.

[806] I see you.

[807] Let's get back into the voicemails.

[808] Time to listen to what the fans are thinking.

[809] Yeah.

[810] Hit me. Hi, Conan.

[811] Sona and Matt.

[812] This is Brian Perman from New York.

[813] I'm sitting here, minding my own business.

[814] Doing some work and listening to your podcast, actually, when I get a text from my wife who tells me that she just walked by Conan O 'Brien on the streets of New York City on the Upper West Side.

[815] She smiled at you, and you said, hey, first of all, amazing coincidence.

[816] But second of all, do I need to be worried?

[817] Please let me know.

[818] Oh.

[819] Worried?

[820] I remember this encounter very well.

[821] And yes, Brian, you do need to be delayed.

[822] You devil.

[823] because I had an immediate connection.

[824] Really?

[825] With this woman, yeah.

[826] Nice.

[827] And things are moving quickly.

[828] That's all I'll say.

[829] What about your wife?

[830] What about my wife?

[831] You know, what about, hey, I'm not dead.

[832] Is that what you say when you're like spit in game?

[833] You're like, hey.

[834] I'll go like, hey.

[835] Yeah.

[836] Really?

[837] Yeah, a lot of times I tap women on the shoulder.

[838] They turn around and I go, hey, that doesn't go over well.

[839] Yeah.

[840] Yeah.

[841] And sometimes I'm wearing a Halloween mask.

[842] None of it goes.

[843] Of your face?

[844] No, it's Nix.

[845] It's always Nixon.

[846] And I go, hey, yeah.

[847] I'm Nixon.

[848] Howl?

[849] No, I don't.

[850] I do.

[851] I think I'm a genial.

[852] Well, you've been with me a lot.

[853] I'm very genial to people on the street.

[854] And if someone recognizes me and smiles or something, I'll go, hi.

[855] You know, hey.

[856] You're very, you're really nice.

[857] But I hope that this woman in question didn't feel in any way that I was stepping over the line.

[858] I don't think I was.

[859] You would have mentioned that.

[860] Maybe she was.

[861] reciprocating and is kind of thinking of you and dreaming of you, you know?

[862] Well, I don't think so.

[863] Why?

[864] Just going off of past experience.

[865] Come on.

[866] No, I would say, I like chatting with people and I like talking to people.

[867] And so I'm the complete opposite of someone who might be recognizable who would feel like there's time and space was being invaded.

[868] I'm the exact opposite of that person.

[869] And you walk everywhere when you're in New York.

[870] So you're, and you're, I don't know, you're very recognizing.

[871] And it's in New York.

[872] It's like you really, I feel like a walk that would take anybody else five minutes takes you like an hour.

[873] Why?

[874] Because you're saying hi to everyone.

[875] And you're chilling and you're taking pictures.

[876] Anybody you ask, anybody who asks to take a picture with you, you will take a picture.

[877] So you see Conan, ask him to take a picture.

[878] Oh, I had someone that asked me recently.

[879] They said, they had just met me and we were chatting for a second.

[880] They said, how come you're so like kind of, you seem kind of humble and down to earth?

[881] And I said, a lot of self -hate.

[882] And the person, that's what I said.

[883] I said, oh, I think a lot of self -hate.

[884] And the person went, I get that.

[885] Oh, man. No, no, no. I'm kind of kidding.

[886] Kind of kidding.

[887] But, no, no, I, but anyway, that's nice.

[888] I, I was walking in New York City with Mr. Adam Sacks, remember?

[889] And we were walking together and you saw a post on, like, do moi, seconds afterwards.

[890] you want to lean in and tell this.

[891] We were walking together.

[892] We were in New York City doing some, had some meeting or something, and then we're walking up right past Rock and Feller Center.

[893] Yeah.

[894] And then someone texted me a, like an Instagram post from Dumois that was like a picture of me and you together and it was like Conan and his intern walking through New York City.

[895] Intern Adam.

[896] Yeah, I love it.

[897] Conan with his 13 -year -old nephew.

[898] Yeah, exactly.

[899] Showing him New York City.

[900] Go get us some coax.

[901] Sure.

[902] Yeah, whatever you want.

[903] Go get us some movies.

[904] Yeah.

[905] That is a funny thing now is people can kind of just keep tabs on you because there are all these websites that say, you know, I just saw whatever Conan or whoever eating a Cobb salad.

[906] It doesn't even have to be interesting.

[907] It's just eating a Cobb salad.

[908] I know.

[909] And you think, okay, this is going to make it very difficult for me to murder because there's going to be a trail.

[910] Do you already have a victim in mind?

[911] Yes, I do.

[912] Is it in this room this victim?

[913] Can't say.

[914] Cannot say.

[915] Okay.

[916] But anyway, sleep tight.

[917] Sleep very well.

[918] I think it's just going to be hard in general for you to fix that second floor window in the kitchen.

[919] Oh, my God.

[920] First we got to get a second story.

[921] Damn it, I had the wrong house.

[922] I've been menacing the wrong people.

[923] But yes, I, well, O 'Brien, you do not need to worry.

[924] and I think I am no threat but my best to you and your does anyone say, did he mention her name?

[925] No. No. Well, I'll just have to say Lady.

[926] Yeah.

[927] You're lady.

[928] You just lost her.

[929] She's gone.

[930] Yeah.

[931] Well, I hope we cleared that up.

[932] We did.

[933] Good job, everybody.

[934] Good job.

[935] And Brian, my best to you and your lady.

[936] You got her back.

[937] Conan O 'Brien.

[938] needs a friend.

[939] With Conan O 'Brien, Sonam O 'Sessian, and Matt Gourley.

[940] Produced by me, Matt Gourley.

[941] Executive produced by Adam Sacks, Nick Gleau, and Jeff Ross at Team Coco, and Colin Anderson and Cody Fisher at Earwolf.

[942] Theme song by The White Stripes.

[943] Incidental music by Jimmy Vivino.

[944] Take it away, Jimmy.

[945] Our supervising producer is Aaron Blair, and our associate talent producer is Jennifer Samples.

[946] Engineering by Eduardo Perez.

[947] Additional production support by Mars Melnick.

[948] Talent booking by Paula Davis, Gina Batista, and Brick Conn. You can rate and review this show on Apple Podcasts, and you might find your review read on a future episode.

[949] Got a question for Conan?

[950] Call the Team Coco hotline at 323 -451 -2821 and leave a message.

[951] It too could be featured on a future episode.

[952] And if you haven't already, please subscribe to Conan O 'Brien needs a friend on Apple Podcasts, Stitcher, or wherever fine podcasts are downloaded.

[953] This has been a Team Coco production in association.

[954] Association with Earwolf.