275 - Raise The Snail: Steven’s 5th Anniversary!

[0] This is exactly right.

[1] Hi.

[2] Thank you.

[3] Have fun.

[4] That's the beginning of the fuck.

[5] There's Vince taking over cookie duty, puppy duty for me. Oh, nice.

[6] Hello.

[7] And welcome.

[8] To my favorite murder.

[9] That's Georgia Heartstar.

[10] That's Karen Kilgara.

[11] We, I thought Georgia was just starting the podcast when she said hi to Vince.

[12] Hi.

[13] Hi.

[14] This is how I start now.

[15] This is the new beginning.

[16] We're starting by saying hi to other people.

[17] That's right.

[18] Well, this is, that was Vince coming home from his podcast recording.

[19] Tag slapping each other's hands and tag teaming puppy duty.

[20] Don't interrupt me. Don't let the puppy interrupt me while I'm working.

[21] It's fucking exhausting.

[22] Do you watch wrestling?

[23] Then you should listen to we watch wrestling.

[24] That's right.

[25] And Monday night beers because Vince can't.

[26] have enough podcasts, it turns out.

[27] Wait, did he, I didn't know he started another podcast.

[28] Yeah, while back.

[29] It's because they used to do Monday night beers, he and his awesome friends where they would meet up Monday nights, obviously, for beer.

[30] Everyone was welcome.

[31] And so when the podcast started, I mean, when the pandemic started, they were like, well, let's do a podcast of Monday night beers on Zoom.

[32] And so now they're just kind of meeting up once in a while, like months or weeks.

[33] Yeah, but safely, very safely.

[34] I love that.

[35] But if they're if they're double -vaxed.

[36] oh yeah they're all vax they're all safe it's a really funny podcast uh so that was my jesse pop who is just a fucking legend his stories he tells are the best gnarly zach who is the coolest mike burns and then um they usually have a guest come on like someone who would be at you can only be a guest if you would have been at monday night beers which i of course i have so i could be a guest But they haven't asked me yet.

[37] Oh.

[38] Something to bring up at the dinner table.

[39] Oh, yeah.

[40] Oh, yeah.

[41] What's going on then?

[42] That's a very good group.

[43] Yeah.

[44] I have my own podcast, which is called existing in real life with other people.

[45] And it is mind -blowing.

[46] Yeah, I've just been hanging out with my family.

[47] And we got to my cousin Stevie.

[48] His daughter, Anna, and I all have birthdays in the same week.

[49] And so we had a combo birthday party on Saturday, I believe it was, today's Monday.

[50] Uh -huh.

[51] Yes.

[52] On Saturday, all together at my cousin Stevie's house, and I've told you this before, but Stevie lives in the property behind my Aunt Jean's house and farm where we grew up.

[53] Oh, yeah.

[54] And next door to where our old house.

[55] So basically when you're sitting at his house, you can.

[56] can see our old house and you can see his mom's old house and my aunt g and his mom now lives with him and it's like a history of your life it is and then uh i was just like i just i think we need to buy the field next door so that we can make this a really bizarre kind of like yeah um you know apocalyptic cult compound yes where we just stayed together all the time having barbecues and you know playing volleyball during wedding season you can do like make a farmhouse and do like farmhouse weddings make that totally make that huge wedding industry cash actually there are definitely people in petaluma who have done that because that is these that look of like that kind of that's what's everywhere here but the funny thing is we grew up around those barns but when you go inside them they're filled with rusty old farming equipment and spider webs and that's all and just nails to be stepped on galore yeah that was how we spent our afternoon's after school around rusty stuff yeah rusty sharp thing just sharp stuff see what how you do rusty sharp things Stephen I'm ready write that down Stephen okay so you need to rusty sharp things Rusty Sharp Things is, that's going to be my new book.

[57] Hey, we're writing a new book.

[58] We can finally talk about it.

[59] Isn't that crazy?

[60] Yes, it's called Rusty Sharp Things.

[61] Well, we're working on that title, but it's on the list.

[62] It's one of the ideas that we're mulling over.

[63] It's on the whiteboard of life.

[64] Did you know there's an app now?

[65] I just thought of this because I always thought like if you're having a kid and like how hard it would be to pick a name.

[66] so if you had like a whiteboard up and like you wrote your ideas and then your spouse or partner could cross them off and write their own there's a fucking app for that now right that's the one like the tindery one that doesn't hold us about okay you were on that call never my oh i'm on all your calls hi you fucking are yeah it's it must be unnerving i know every one of these anecdotes you're going to tell but i freaked out at that idea too because it's that's the kind of stuff where you're just like that's a niche that needs to be filled like the help you get and then the kind of fun of making it a fun game instead of a I'm sure it's a slog for a lot of couples yeah yeah my friend lovely Kate is having a baby and just the ideas that I've been texting her for the baby name have bringing me so much joy and ridiculous nicks and what do you do let's hear one of your best one of your faves let me see because I'll throw in, like, real ones.

[67] But then you throw in, like, a Tupac or something like...

[68] Yeah, I can't remember.

[69] Like, Harvey, but then, oh, yeah.

[70] Franklin Delano Roosevelt.

[71] I wrote something like that.

[72] James, Calvin, Dexter, Clark.

[73] That's it.

[74] I'm not very good at.

[75] Okay, that's the title of this episode.

[76] James Harvey Dexter Clark We can't focus on the title Or we'll let's get in our own way You're right, you're right, you're right, you're right, gone, it's gone.

[77] Yeah, we have to open up the door of much in the same way We should have a title for the show That's also a Tinder app And then we can both see if we're a fixed match Holy shit, Karen, you are on to something And if you're in the fan cult, you can vote on it you just spit your water yes I was like what's it I love it yeah so yeah I've actually been doing real world things the day that this EDC announced that they weren't going to require people who had the double vaccine were fully vaccinated to wear masks anymore we went out because in my mind I was like it's going to be like D -Day times square I thought everyone would go out but of course no one did and everybody is so cautious I feel like I'm not doing it yeah people are still very like you know they want to be careful and they want to be sure which is nice yes I feel like this is the first time in the whole pandemic where I am not listening to the CDC I have been strict and like double time but now I'm just like yeah but it doesn't hurt and everyone everywhere I go like even I went to the park and it's like people are still wearing them so it's I don't want to be the asshole without the mask when everyone else does but you know I pull it down when I'm not walking by someone but it just doesn't feel I just feel like I can wait it's okay no one has to see it in my face right now I well also that's a big one I can't keep lipstick on my mouth to save my life no no no so the idea that I get to slap a mask on and just not have to worry about ready skin or yeah no lipstick is the greatest yeah yeah You just, it's such a convenience.

[78] Be like us.

[79] Do it for vanity's sake.

[80] Do it.

[81] Always be vain first.

[82] Do everything.

[83] For vain sake.

[84] For vain sake.

[85] Hey, speaking of vain.

[86] One of your best.

[87] One of your greatest segways of all time.

[88] Thank you.

[89] No, I wanted, this isn't vain.

[90] This is just me like living my life and living it till the fullest.

[91] I found a new, a new type of influencer to tell you about.

[92] Great.

[93] that like clutter core was great um you know the bee influencer thing of course was just right at my alley but this one is so me when I saw that it existed I almost cried I don't think it's a lot of people yet but I did find one girl who's like the queen of it it's a nap influencer do you fucking know how many quality naps I've taken in my I took a nap instead of walking around the Louvre, I took a nap on an ancient marble bench.

[94] It was one of the best naps of my life.

[95] You love a nap.

[96] I can take a nap anywhere.

[97] That classic photo of me on the plane that Vince took where he said, I looked like the Unabomber.

[98] Another great nap.

[99] He put that on my birthday cake one year.

[100] That's right.

[101] So her name is Alex Shannon.

[102] She, of course, listens to the podcast because she's awesome.

[103] And her Instagram is, follow the nap and like she's been like covered by all these cool you know vogue and shit sure she's got these great photos of naps and stuff and like talks about that I'm like so excited it's my new career now now first of all I support your napping thank you oftentimes when people are texting you and I at the same time I'll be like if Georgia doesn't reply immediately that means she's napping and we can put a 45 minute hold on this conversation.

[104] That means so much to me that you just know that inherently.

[105] Yeah.

[106] It's true friendship.

[107] It's and I'm the opposite where if I happen to fall asleep in the afternoon, I don't know what day it is.

[108] I don't know what I'm supposed to be doing.

[109] It's a gift.

[110] Yeah.

[111] I have strange dreams.

[112] I need to talk to people afterwards.

[113] But I was going to say this about the influencer thing in general because we have, I actually really do love these updates.

[114] I do too.

[115] My thing is they do seem to be turning over very quickly these days and so when you say she's been covered because there's it's everywhere you turn where it's like it's now it's cottage core now it's minimalism marie yeah what is her name marie condo now it's clutter core whatever I feel like they have to write a certain amount of articles in yeah oh I feel so bad for these writers who have to just churn out content constantly it's got to feel soulless and empty and I feel for them.

[116] And they kind of have to look around and they're like, you know what the new thing is?

[117] Ice cream.

[118] Or it's like it's not.

[119] It's not actually.

[120] It's been around since 1850s.

[121] No, it's great.

[122] Scissors are the new thing.

[123] Are you a scissor fluencer?

[124] Because oh my God.

[125] Well, I feel like influencer, I feel like at this point, what I love about it is that it's like, no one's kind of taking it seriously anymore.

[126] So when there's something in it that's like actually cool that just happens to be labeled influencer because people can't understand a cool thing without it being an influencer so making fun of it a little in that way I think it's really rad I mean I just want to know what the NAP influencer first of all I bet she gets amazing swag is she but is she backed by Big Pharma I want to know is she gonna start coming out talking about how ambians it's really the basis of her whole thing well can I say and this might be controversial Shal, naps don't, you don't need medication for naps.

[127] Like, that's a part of it to me is that they're natural.

[128] Wow, I didn't know I had a fucking stance on this.

[129] You have a philosophy.

[130] It defeats the whole purpose of a nap.

[131] If you have to take something, then that's not a nap.

[132] That's a putting myself to sleep.

[133] Wow.

[134] Now, do you think that along those same lines, is it not a real nap if I have to go to sleep after I eat a bagel?

[135] no no that's okay that's not because that's not that's just natural okay yeah so just keep it out of pill form and you can go to sleep and you're fine yeah yeah like a lunch nap is absolutely I'll allow it now what about when you fall asleep because you just can't be in a conversation anymore we're just like like right now no no this is not an example this is not a conversation this is our career well then I think that you have a, what's it called when you can't stay awake?

[136] Narcolepsy?

[137] And I think you're a narcoleptic and you should talk to Big Pharma about that.

[138] You should call Big Pharma right away.

[139] They call the 1 -800 Big Pharma and be like, what do I, can you give me?

[140] No. You know what it makes me think of when we talk about these influencers of the people that, because you mostly find these people on Instagram, right?

[141] It's like a thing.

[142] It just makes me think of all the subcategories of murderinos that there are.

[143] Yes.

[144] where it's like the immune system issue murderina or whatever.

[145] That's not the actual title.

[146] Wait, is this a segment?

[147] Are you, I mean, a segue?

[148] Yes.

[149] I mean, no, no, this is just me saying I thought of this.

[150] But it is similar where it's just people love to get separated into groups of what they respond to.

[151] Yeah.

[152] One of us.

[153] Like, this is what I like.

[154] I want to talk about it.

[155] And there are other people and I've always felt so alone.

[156] It's almost like a true crime podcast.

[157] True.

[158] But you're never more alone than when you're napping.

[159] You can't.

[160] No, I'm usually surrounded by cats.

[161] But like, what if there's a need -up for the nap influencers?

[162] Where does that take place?

[163] Oh, fuck.

[164] So many questions you've brought up.

[165] Also, I have to just say, and I know this is my, this is my personal rebellion issue that I have.

[166] Okay.

[167] But when these things come up, I go like, oh, what would your thing be?

[168] Like, what would you?

[169] And I don't, I can't ever think of it.

[170] It's like when, what was the before Facebook, the thing that everybody was on?

[171] MySpace.

[172] MySpace.

[173] Thank you, Stephen, the young man. Stephen notes.

[174] Like, remember on MySpace, you had to live.

[175] like list your 10 favorite whatever.

[176] So I would just be like, how do you do that?

[177] I literally was just like, I don't know, I don't know what that would be.

[178] What about board or game nights?

[179] You're a game night influencer.

[180] Thank you.

[181] Puzzling, a puzzlerino.

[182] Are there puzzlerino?

[183] There has to be.

[184] And if there's not, let's make it.

[185] We fucking made a puzzle for you guys, didn't we?

[186] And people got like, it was popular.

[187] So I think there must be puzzlers.

[188] And there's more to come.

[189] And if they don't call themselves puzzlerinos.

[190] than may we suggest.

[191] Yeah, game nights.

[192] That's totally your thing.

[193] Okay, thank you.

[194] I just needed it.

[195] I need something.

[196] Yeah.

[197] We all do.

[198] We all need to belong.

[199] We do.

[200] Oh, you know what we belong to?

[201] Here's watch this segue.

[202] Okay, let's see it.

[203] We belong to the fan club of the new Netflix series Sons of Sam.

[204] We absolutely do.

[205] Let's talk about it.

[206] Let's dig down.

[207] Let's influence about it.

[208] and so spoiler alert people were when it like you know as as many people do when it came out I got some tweets of like I need to know what you think of this and it sometimes when people phrase the question or the statement that way I think to myself is this terrible or is this like what do they mean yeah they're not indicating what they think yeah yeah so I feel like I really did go in and I was like David Berkowitz and that whole story is one of my least favorite because it's a person shooting people randomly and running away, which isn't, it doesn't get into all the kind of, I don't know.

[209] And then trying to use being crazy to justify it.

[210] There's really no, there's no why and there still isn't.

[211] And it's just like a bummer and sad and terrorizing this town.

[212] Yeah.

[213] So I, the same way.

[214] I was like, I don't need to know about this anymore.

[215] Right.

[216] Right.

[217] And then, but here's, somebody pointed out to me, because I said, I don't want to watch that son of Sam documentary.

[218] And they said, it's sons of Sam.

[219] Didn't you notice that red S?

[220] And I was like, I actually literally did not see the red S. Why would you?

[221] So then it gets into it.

[222] And I was fascinated.

[223] It is.

[224] I can't believe that's a real story.

[225] The fact that they were cutting to like footage of the early Geraldo show.

[226] Yeah.

[227] and the DA, the Brooklyn DA and all that.

[228] Oh, so corrupt.

[229] It goes all the way to the top, may I suggest.

[230] That guy was the one that came out on Mori's side.

[231] Yes.

[232] He was the one saying there is something here, which they had on camera.

[233] It was cool because it was about so many different things.

[234] Yes, David Berkowitz, the shootings especially.

[235] But also the satanic part too, I was like, oh, fuck, we're going to get into Satanic panic, which I just have such a hard time.

[236] with because it's so destructive and awful.

[237] But at the end, I was like, I believe that this was about Satan in the way that it is or Satanism and worshipping Satan in the way that it is for teenagers and how they can convince themselves to do something based on Satanism that doesn't really exist.

[238] You know what I mean?

[239] And it's like as an excuse and these like these teens who are not part of society and not part of the norm.

[240] and they just can do these and be talked into these destructive things.

[241] So that was interesting to me too.

[242] Yeah.

[243] Same here completely.

[244] I mean, I didn't see that part coming.

[245] So, yeah, this is, we don't, we're about at doing this because we're, there's always spoilers.

[246] But what I thought was fascinating.

[247] And so spoiler alert, we'll drop that in earlier.

[248] But what I thought was fascinating was those people who were and like, and like, and then there's this group and this group.

[249] Yeah.

[250] They all stemmed from Scientology, which to me says it's a scam because it's someone that learns, well, here's one way to influence large groups of people and get them to kind of do your bidding.

[251] But now we're going to take it in this occult direction where it's kind of scary and we're fucking with people.

[252] It's very early 70s where people were just like, you don't know if I'm a hippie, a witch, a wizard or just like, just a guy with one hair.

[253] Yeah.

[254] Yeah, that was crazy.

[255] And then the whole story around Mori, the main guy who was just obsessed with this case.

[256] And it just kind of was his lifelong obsession.

[257] And he was right, but it didn't matter.

[258] And that's like kind of what the whole thing was about.

[259] And it was really sad and, you know.

[260] I mean, and it was just, and it kind of about the media influence of the media.

[261] I mean, there's so many things.

[262] I just.

[263] And here's the ultimate recommend.

[264] My sister, who does not like true crime and will make me turn the channel when she comes in the room if I'm watching it.

[265] You're making these hand talking noises as if you're like, oh, she fucking talks about and blah, blah, blah.

[266] Do you see how much she's like turned the channel?

[267] Watch the entire thing.

[268] Wow.

[269] Because it's about so much more.

[270] Yeah.

[271] In the beginning, I tell you, here's the influencer group I would join.

[272] Okay.

[273] Hi -8 video of New York City in the 7th.

[274] Oh, so good.

[275] Mind -blown what that city used to look like and what people had to deal with and the whole, it's just, now it's just mind -blowing that it's kind of like history because it was 50 years ago.

[276] That city, New York City, you guys, I don't know, was going fucking bankrupt.

[277] The city was going bankrupt.

[278] And as you can see, everything around it was falling apart.

[279] They were fucking laying off entire police I don't want to say forces because I don't know if that's true but like chunks of the police force because they couldn't afford them not that they didn't need them it was like doubly needed and they were letting them go because they didn't have the money it's just yeah it's the budget cut I think it was lots of civil service jobs there was just all kinds of misnage that was like a fucking story high because they couldn't they couldn't pay their sanitation or wouldn't pay sanitation workers It's so bananas.

[280] There are strikes.

[281] It's really, yeah.

[282] I say, I say watch it.

[283] And we say watch it.

[284] Speaking of mayor of East Town.

[285] Yes.

[286] In East Town.

[287] It's so good.

[288] It's obviously, it's Kate Winslet, but it's like twisty -turny.

[289] It's like Silence of the Lambsy.

[290] Hell yes.

[291] She's fucked up in so many ways.

[292] There's shit going on in her life, but also in the police force.

[293] like she's one of those anti -heroes because she keeps fucking up and doing dumb shit and you're just like do you follow my friend Carrie O'Donnell on Twitter probably but I don't go on Twitter okay that's good but he keeps making videos of the video is always called a mayor of Easton's put upon best friend and he just makes videos like mayor mayor what do you do it's really funny that's a unique podcast that's good that's true so you should watch that you're up there.

[294] I feel like it's a good one to like binge with your sister.

[295] Okay.

[296] I will definitely.

[297] Because I did notice, um, they must have had, I don't know if it was like, if season finale, I don't know how many there have been.

[298] But a bunch of people on Twitter were like, holy shit.

[299] There was just a crazy twist at the end of the last episode that like I was like, this can't be the end of the fucking show or I'm going to be piss.

[300] But yeah, there was like a bananas twist.

[301] Okay, cool.

[302] So check it out.

[303] Love it.

[304] That's it.

[305] That's it.

[306] That's a that's a good wreck.

[307] I have I have another recommendation that's hilarious because I've also spent the past a couple weeks sleeping in my 14 year old niece's bedroom and living living life as a 14 year old in 2021.

[308] Oh my God.

[309] What's that like?

[310] It's not cool.

[311] They had to go to Zoom school for so long.

[312] Kids, it's so unfair.

[313] Like when I pulled into Petaluma, this is kind of amazing.

[314] There's this old old building that's right at the corner of Petaluma Boulevard and Washington, which is kind of the main intersection and the biggest, I would say, intersection in downtown Petaluma.

[315] And on the, they're projecting the seniors, this year's senior class pictures, the individual pictures onto this, onto this old bank building.

[316] I think it's the seed bank.

[317] But anyway, so I was sitting at that, the intersection, and they, they sit there for a little while.

[318] So I look up and there's this kid in a tuxedo with a big smile.

[319] And I was like, God, that's the youngest real estate agent I've ever seen.

[320] And it took me forever to figure out because they've never done that before that I've seen.

[321] And then I realize these kids have been ripped off.

[322] They were like, they're graduating and they weren't even in school last year.

[323] It's all so shitty for them.

[324] So it's like, here, we'll put your picture up.

[325] And of course, I'm sure they're bummed out about that too.

[326] I was just going to say that sounds like the most embarrassing thing I've ever heard in my fucking light.

[327] Like I had a cute senior picture and I don't want that motherfucker up on the fucking wall.

[328] This thing is literally like 20 by 20 feet by 10 feet like being projected up.

[329] It's hilarious.

[330] I love it.

[331] But they all look so cute and they're so young.

[332] That's so fucking hilarious.

[333] Yeah.

[334] Is that your recommendation?

[335] Yeah.

[336] It's, it's go to Petaloupe down to Petaluma.

[337] Really.

[338] stand on the corner for an hour and look at every child graduated from Petaluma High School.

[339] Maybe a fun game would be assign adult jobs to them based on what they look like, too.

[340] Okay, I know.

[341] We definitely have a real estate agent in the fact.

[342] I would have bought any property from this kid easily.

[343] The pencil you're gesturing wildly with is really helping me believe you.

[344] Do you know that Nora had to take a test and she had to have a number two pencil?

[345] What?

[346] And she kept going.

[347] I don't, we don't have them.

[348] And I was like, Nora, I guarantee you, your mother has minimum 10 number two pencils.

[349] Of course she does.

[350] I'm like, you just never noticed them before.

[351] They don't get it.

[352] It's a laptop.

[353] I have a recommendation, a movie.

[354] This is for real.

[355] I hate to interrupt you.

[356] Please always too.

[357] That was actually, that was the beginning of my recommendation.

[358] I thought I, I see that now.

[359] Do you see it?

[360] I respect and appreciate that.

[361] I went, I took off.

[362] I went way out.

[363] I banked around and now I'm coming in for the landing.

[364] Sorry.

[365] It took me that long.

[366] It's great.

[367] But among the other things of sleeping in Nora's room, which is her beautiful light blue TikTok lights that go all around the...

[368] Kids, all kids have those.

[369] I know.

[370] It's the cool thing these days.

[371] Is it?

[372] Because I feel like I'd have a seizure from that.

[373] No, they don't blink.

[374] It's just a light.

[375] Okay.

[376] You know, so you turn it on and then your room just looks light blue or red or whatever color you like.

[377] You're the expert on seizures, so I'll...

[378] I'll let you.

[379] Yes.

[380] Stop taking them lightly.

[381] You're a seizure influencer.

[382] Finally.

[383] Again, but here it comes Big Pharma again to give you that sweet, sweet branding money.

[384] Yeah.

[385] Look.

[386] You know what?

[387] All I want you to do is control them, Big Pharma.

[388] That's all I care about.

[389] I just want to really quickly say that Big Pharma sucks.

[390] We're totally fucking around.

[391] They're horrible, horrible people for the most part, except for the ones that get me off depression and anxiety, but other.

[392] wise well the ones that have um basically put out there is a documentary oh yeah on netflix go ahead stepan the crime of the century yes oh yes the crime of the century about all of that stuff and it's supposed to be amazing yeah the what's that called the um opiate the opiate flood that this country is dealing with and that has wrecked people's lives and no one's talking about it.

[393] It's so horrible.

[394] So Crime of the Century on Netflix, we should also, that's a recommendation.

[395] Let's do it.

[396] It's just horrendous.

[397] Back to your blue lights.

[398] I just did a recommendation within my recommendation.

[399] This is nuts.

[400] This is my favorite murder.

[401] You know it.

[402] We have problems.

[403] And solutions.

[404] So, so So in Nora's room, I go to bed and I was trying to read the book I recommended last week, the Oprah book that she wrote called What Happened to You, which is great, but it's heavy.

[405] And I was like, so I was reading it and I was kind of like getting weepy.

[406] And I was just like, there's all these things.

[407] You can't do anything about how you grew up, but you can do something about being a self -empowered adult.

[408] But we all have shit, you know, everybody.

[409] I put that book down and I picked up the book, like the last book, Nora read that she keeps on her ninth stand.

[410] It's some young adult fiction.

[411] So good.

[412] I'm such a fan of young adult fiction.

[413] It's, okay, no books were written like this when I was growing up.

[414] Oh, no. I mean, yes, we had some great Judy Blume, but there was this gap between, are you there, guard?

[415] It's me, Margaret, and Wifey, where literally there was no bridge between.

[416] And these days, you know what it was?

[417] Sorry.

[418] what the thing we had to use was Stephen King that was our young adult lit it's why everyone our age has fucking read every single Stephen King books because there was nothing in between you're so right you're like I'm not I don't I got all I needed to read about getting my period yeah now I need to know about the devil slash alien slash spider in the sewer I can't jump straight to clan of the cave bear I've got a fucking bridge that gap clan of the key bear my mom read it i was like what the fuck is this did you try to read that thing i forced myself to read it one year when we were at blue lake when we were on vacation as a family i had a sunburn i was reading that thing i was just like what are these adults talking about my mom was like obsessed in a way that i've never seen her i mean she loves reading but this was like a different fucking book for her in her life it really painted a picture the picture was of a cave and like somebody that lived there in the whenever it was and a clan.

[419] It was a clan.

[420] Everybody kind of working through the clan stuff.

[421] Back to my recommendation.

[422] So the book that I picked up is called We All Looked Up and it's the author is Tommy Wallach and I am telling you.

[423] Tell me. I don't know how.

[424] Maybe it's not young adult.

[425] It must be because my sister wouldn't buy my niece an adult book.

[426] But this thing is so good.

[427] I care about these characters so much.

[428] The plot is fascinating.

[429] It's about an asteroid that's coming and basically everybody finds out the asteroid is on a direct trajectory for the Earth.

[430] I'm on board already.

[431] That's my fucking favorite subject.

[432] It's great.

[433] It's really well written.

[434] It's really compelling.

[435] I've been staying up till 2 in the morning reading it.

[436] It's so good.

[437] And I keep going to Nora.

[438] You read that book, right?

[439] She's like, yeah, it's.

[440] Yeah, it's really good.

[441] And I'm like, no, I thought it was just going to be a baby book that I'd read real fast.

[442] I'm like, you're a baby.

[443] I thought it was for babies.

[444] Suck their thumbs.

[445] She's like, I'd like to let you know that I'm actually an eighth grade influencer.

[446] I just saw her peek her head in here to tell you what the book was called.

[447] And I was like, what's up, 20 year old?

[448] I know.

[449] I know.

[450] With gorgeous hair and like these beautiful eyes.

[451] And like I could see her eyelashes from here.

[452] And I was jealous.

[453] I know.

[454] Yeah, the fact she has, and she had the thing I always, like, rant at her about, I'm like, you don't understand.

[455] Because she has the most gorgeous caramel skin because it's the perfect combination of her father and my sister.

[456] Yeah.

[457] And I was like, you don't understand how lucky you are.

[458] Looks like you're wearing nylons on all the time.

[459] Look at my legs.

[460] I grew up with legs that look like a map of a river delta.

[461] Fuck you.

[462] I don't say that part to her.

[463] But I'm livid.

[464] It's like I could never wear shorts.

[465] yeah my my legs are so white they were purple and look at you just like walking around yeah in your short shorts long legs she's a fucking model what's the book called she's the best it's called we all looked up by tommy wallach that's so funny because my book that I'm reading it's not a young adult book but it's actually really sweet and it could be but it's not but it's by one of my it's also end of the world book oh nice weirdly uh it's by one of my favorite comedic writers and you know him and I know him not personally but Simon Rich who I'm just always obsessed with he like he's done stuff for this American life he's written man seeking woman he's just such a great he created it so the book's called miracle workers and the the tagline is on the trillionth day God quit and it's basically when you're you're you die you become an angel and you work at God's corporation.

[466] He's the CEO.

[467] He's a classic fucking piece of shit like goes golfing at three drinks all day.

[468] The only prayers he answers are like for sports people because he's obsessed with sports.

[469] Doesn't do any work.

[470] And finally he decides, you know what?

[471] I'm going to quit.

[472] I'm going to destruct the earth and open an Asian fusion restaurant.

[473] No more earth.

[474] I'm shutting the whole thing down.

[475] And the main character is an angel who works on the Miracles Department with this awesome chick.

[476] And he's like, God, just tell me, I'll invest in your restaurant.

[477] If you just let me try to answer one prayer in a month and then you won't shut it down.

[478] And God's like, let's do it.

[479] So he and his co -worker have to answer one, this one beautiful prayer of this couple down on earth.

[480] And it's just, it's so funny and so many little tidbits about like the Miracles Department.

[481] And And there's actually is, God does have an apostle and it's a guy with a sign who's like, who's like on the side of the road naked being like, God says this.

[482] And it's like actually God says it's so charming and funny.

[483] I highly recommend it.

[484] It's called Miracle Workers by Simon Rich.

[485] It's just like such a good switch from like sons of Sam and shit.

[486] I needed it.

[487] You know.

[488] Yeah.

[489] Karen, you know I'm all about vintage shopping.

[490] Absolutely.

[491] And when you say vintage, you mean.

[492] when you physically drive to a store and actually purchase something with cash.

[493] Exactly.

[494] And if you're a small business owner, you might know Shopify is great for online sales.

[495] But did you know that they also power in -person sales?

[496] That's right.

[497] Shopify is the sound of selling everywhere, online, in -store, on social media, and beyond.

[498] Give your point -of -sale system a serious upgrade with Shopify.

[499] From accepting payments to managing inventory, they have everything you need to sell in person.

[500] So give your point -of -sale system a serious upgrade with Shopify.

[501] Their sleek, reliable POS hardware takes every major payment method and looks fabulous at the same time.

[502] With Shopify, we have a powerful partner for managing our sales, and if you're a business owner, you can too.

[503] Connect with customers in line and online.

[504] Do retail right with Shopify.

[505] Sign up for a $1 per month trial period at Shopify .com slash murder.

[506] Important note, that promo code is all lowercase.

[507] Go to Shopify .com slash murder to take your retail business to the next level today.

[508] That Shopify dot com slash murder.

[509] Goodbye.

[510] Should we move on to exactly right corner?

[511] Yes, I believe we should.

[512] Okay, great.

[513] Not that much in the news this week.

[514] It's pretty slow going.

[515] Yeah, but so exciting.

[516] Make sure you check out all the podcasts on the Exactly Right Network, which you can just find on, if you put an exactly right on your search in whatever podcast thing, you know how these things work.

[517] And look exactly right, all our rad podcasts are there.

[518] Great.

[519] And also great booking.

[520] Thanks.

[521] Oh, God.

[522] Hannah Crichton, who is our booker and super producer, she gets great people.

[523] It's very cool to see.

[524] It does.

[525] We have an incredible team and just the best podcasts.

[526] I'm so proud.

[527] And for example, and one I truly love is 10Fold More Wicked Presents Wicked Words, which is Kate Winkler -Dawson's new version of 10Fold More Wicked, where she interviews true crime authors and journalists.

[528] And it premiered this week with Dr. Catherine Ramsland and they were talking about BTK and this woman is she wrote a book with BTK.

[529] She is an expert and she is a very compelling speaker and I've heard her on other true crime podcast.

[530] She's really great and that it's just it really is kind of cream of cream of the crop in terms of people talking, but experts talking to experts about this topic that we all love to listen to you so much.

[531] That's amazing.

[532] I can't get an FBT info, so I'm definitely going to listen to that.

[533] It's fascinating, yeah.

[534] And then on I Said No Gifts with Bridger Weinerger, this duo is going to be magnificent.

[535] It's Kurt Brunner from Bananas as the guest.

[536] These are two of the funniest, sweetest, like most amiable dudes in the world.

[537] I just, it's going to be bonkers.

[538] It's going to be bananas.

[539] It's going to be bananas.

[540] But it's not.

[541] It's I said no gifts.

[542] That's right.

[543] That's right.

[544] And then on That's Messed Up, an SVU podcast, this is what I was thinking of when I was talking about the amazing booking.

[545] They have Lou Diamond Phillips, who is from season seven, episode 19 of SVU.

[546] He's their guest.

[547] I mean, that's awesome.

[548] That is powerful.

[549] I lost my mind when we heard that on our office meeting on Friday.

[550] When they said that, I was just like, I went back to when I first saw young guns and almost started crying when I saw him and his beauty.

[551] Yes.

[552] I mean, I mean.

[553] La Bamba, baby.

[554] La Bamba is like the greatest movie.

[555] I have my favorite movies as a kid.

[556] I wouldn't get on a plane for years.

[557] We were supposed to fly to San Francisco with my dad for like a dad outing.

[558] And I fucking stayed at my grandma's house because I refused to.

[559] And it's like an hour flight.

[560] But I was like, nope, La Bamba happened.

[561] I'm not fucking going.

[562] And there was like photos from that time.

[563] The plane was so much smaller and they were in a storm.

[564] And it was like the 1950s, Georgia.

[565] Yeah.

[566] Nope.

[567] I was seven and I was like, go fuck yourself.

[568] Oh, that's amazing.

[569] Well, this is how art affects us.

[570] Oh, wow.

[571] Thank you, Lou Diamond Phillips, for saving Georgia's life.

[572] They didn't die.

[573] They were, the plane was fine.

[574] Oh, good.

[575] Oh, I'm so glad.

[576] And then.

[577] Yeah.

[578] You would talk about the coozy?

[579] Let's talk about the coosies.

[580] We got some coosies.

[581] It's summertime coming up.

[582] And once you're double vaccinated, you can stand around in a yard with the same beer for three hours in the sun.

[583] You're going to need a coozy from our store.

[584] And now you can have one that says, here's the thing.

[585] Fuck everyone on it.

[586] Cool.

[587] We can add to my collection, mine and Vince's collection of our own podcast coosies, which we absolutely have a lot of because we end up with a lot of them extras.

[588] And we use them all the time.

[589] So get get be like Georgia and Vince.

[590] Keep your drink cold, baby.

[591] And now this is a very exciting part.

[592] We're very excited and touched and thrilled to be able to tell you that this episode is Stephen Ray Morris's five year anniversary of working with us on my favorite murder.

[593] Steven!

[594] Stephen?

[595] Where does it go?

[596] Where does the time go?

[597] Five years.

[598] That's so wild.

[599] Isn't it?

[600] Guys, remember, let's look, let's think back into my sweltering one bedroom gross carpeted apartment in Little Armenia.

[601] It was a sauna.

[602] The neighbors were loud.

[603] They started fires.

[604] There's a lot going on for a couple times you recorded it.

[605] There was a real loosey -goosey production until Stephen Ray Morris rolled up and was paying attention.

[606] taking notes, giggling into his hand, making us feel like we should be doing what we were doing.

[607] He was the original murderina.

[608] That's right.

[609] And we can't thank you enough.

[610] So we asked the fan cult to go on and share with us their favorite Stephen Ray Morris memory or factoid or whatever.

[611] And I don't think you know this because you're so busy.

[612] You're a very busy man. But we actually locked you out of the fan cult for the week.

[613] weekend so that you wouldn't see this before right now.

[614] Yeah.

[615] Thank you to Denton for facilitating that.

[616] He was so slow.

[617] He was like, he's out.

[618] So there was no way you could check in early.

[619] So now we're going to share with you some people's favorite memories and thoughts because it's been five years, Stephen.

[620] We couldn't remember them all ourselves.

[621] Yeah.

[622] But some of these highlighted our favorites.

[623] So we picked a couple But, yeah, okay, I'm first.

[624] Oh, my gosh.

[625] Yes.

[626] This is from Mama Shims.

[627] It says, my absolute favorite moment was when K and G were attempting to decide something.

[628] You know this one had to be included by choosing a number.

[629] These are not to tease you, Stephen.

[630] These are just like what joy and lightheartedness you bring to the podcast.

[631] These are Celebrate Good Times.

[632] Come on.

[633] That's right.

[634] They asked Stephen to be the judge and told him to choose a number.

[635] He promptly and excitedly.

[636] shouted out a number maybe seven that's not how the game works he was able to laugh at himself what a guy i mean you don't sound thrilled steward no it's i was just so excited you were genuinely excited to think of a number between one and ten it's also too that sometimes it's like when we're recording i'm also like taking notes and looking things up so sometimes when you when you guys call on me i'm like like it's just first reaction like first reaction like first reaction to like what's happening that's my you would never know that and that's a lot of people talk about that how they don't understand how you're doing all the things you're doing and when we go like what's the capital of romania you're right there and the fact that you could have yelled or you could have said i wasn't paying attention but it would never do that because like that's not who you are you're like a team player you're there's a reason we yell your name in all caps right you took that level one improv class you knew to yes and us and you've done it Here's the one from Lizzie Borden is my great aunt.

[637] That's the fan cult member.

[638] The sweetest memory so far is from an old episode where he had a king -sized can of Diet Coke waiting for Karen when she got to the pod loft.

[639] No one asked.

[640] He just did.

[641] Stephen, you are so sweet.

[642] Happy MFMversary.

[643] I'll never forget that one, Stephen, because it was a tall boy of Diet Coke.

[644] You know what you needed?

[645] A coozy for that.

[646] Didn't you steal it from the job you were?

[647] Yeah, I used to steal Diet Coke's from one of my old jobs, too.

[648] That is suck and dedication.

[649] It's really beautiful.

[650] One place to bring to another.

[651] We appreciate that.

[652] We really do.

[653] They didn't.

[654] Okay.

[655] This is from Allie 7 -799.

[656] My favorite Stephen moment was when Georgia gave him his first official paycheck.

[657] Now, this is talking shit on us because it's Anna is absolutely right to do so.

[658] He was so genuinely surprised.

[659] It was delightful.

[660] I also legit laughed out loud when he admitted he'd seen Michelle Branch in the same venue where they were doing a live show.

[661] He's the best.

[662] Oh, yeah.

[663] Yeah.

[664] He's the best for waiting like six months for Karen and I to barely get our shit together.

[665] I mean, no one was getting paid, although Stephen deserved it the most.

[666] Yes, for real.

[667] Every single calculation was written on a scrap of paper in my possession.

[668] And we finally had to deliver it to.

[669] Karen's business manager and be like, make sense of this and then please pay Stephen.

[670] Please pay Stephen.

[671] Please make sure he doesn't leave us.

[672] Or sue us.

[673] He's laughing now, right?

[674] Oh my gosh.

[675] Let's see.

[676] This next one is from Emily J .W. And she said my favorite MFFM memories when you delivered recording equipment to the queens of murder early in the pandemic in your dinosaur onesie just to keep MFM alive.

[677] I have a picture.

[678] I remember We're looking through the peephole because I was scared of or like opening my little peephole door.

[679] I was scared of getting COVID, we all were.

[680] And there was Stephen.

[681] You know, we talked about this off Mike, but Stephen, when COVID started and the quarantine, the lockdown happened, you know, lots of people, lots of people couldn't do their jobs anymore.

[682] And we wouldn't have been able to do our jobs if it wasn't for Stephen Ray Morris.

[683] And he put together at home recording kits for all of our podcasts that we had at the time.

[684] And when I was on their leg, I remember the Zoom call with you where I was just like writing the step where I was like, you have to tell me step by step how to use this thing.

[685] And I was just like, and don't assume I get anything because I'm 50 and all of this scares the shit out of me. And he is the most patient.

[686] He's such a good teacher.

[687] And you really did build that bridge.

[688] so that we could get through the unprecedented experience of a quarantine.

[689] Yep.

[690] You did it.

[691] Thank you.

[692] Okay, here's more.

[693] There's more.

[694] Here's another one.

[695] Shut up, Stephen.

[696] There's more.

[697] Just take the compliment.

[698] Let us praise you.

[699] Let us praise you.

[700] From Ambo, props to Stephen for being that guy in the office and crew who has to simultaneously be recording, making notes, paying attention to every GD tangent and quiz.

[701] Google search every pop culture brain fart reference hey mid tangent and mid story wait a second best Stephen sorry best Stephen memory is when he bought Karen and Georgia the time life books oh oh Stephen are you crying yet Stephen cry really was beautiful cry cry I'm gonna burst into tears right after we stop recording okay we'll keep recording so we can get it on no this this is from kemgirl 65 and she says my favorite all cap's favorite memory of stephen's time on mfm is when he went with you guys on tour i believe it was to australian new zealand and you guys always talk about stephen on your live shows and we usually expect his name to be followed by he's not here but when you mention him and then he's there the cheer that goes up in the venue is just amazing i mean in australia new zealand that was a life cheap it was so incredible it was so epic it was so fun We loved having you there.

[702] Okay, this is from In Hero Wait.

[703] In her own.

[704] Thank you.

[705] Listen, I can read.

[706] They're all mushed together as like user names.

[707] Yeah.

[708] Okay.

[709] In her own.

[710] My favorite Stephen moment was at the live show in Des Moines when Karen and Georgia called him.

[711] It was every thing.

[712] You remember?

[713] I was like, please don't say anything weird.

[714] please like before you knew you were alive not that whoever would say not that you ever answered the phone like I was so worried something was wrong like I was like you guys were like I knew you guys were on stage at that moment and I was like wait why would they be like did something happen like I was like so terrified that's fair it was a brief few seconds but it was so awesome to have him be a part of such a great moment with a big crowd of people who were so excited to have him be a part of their live show this one's from Nikki Pee fave stephen moment was when he blurted out aw because a serial killer would dress up as a priest as a child i forget about that i forgot why that story it's adorable until you know he becomes a serial killer a little pre -serial killer yeah okay last one it's from my last name is holmes it makes me laugh remembering one of the live shows in florida i think it was tampa when they were talking about that, sorry, I'm making Stephen edit his own praise.

[715] Yes.

[716] You're allowed to not edit any of this section, Stephen.

[717] That's your present from us.

[718] When they were talking about the emerging slash unknown serial killer, and Karen was like, all I'm saying is we've never seen the serial killer and Stephen in the same room.

[719] Think about it.

[720] I don't know why, but it just made me giggle.

[721] Happy anniversary to the least serial killer member of the MFM crew.

[722] which is so true Wow, that's that's high praise Yeah Well, but those are the ones that you The ones you never expect are the ones that are zero killers But I was going to say Stephen and every Murderinos know this He takes so many hits in the live shows I have no shame About pulling Stephen in And giving him shit And he I mean you haven't quit You must not hate it I really thank you for what a good sport you are and what a great sense of humor you have.

[723] And you now can go on the fan cult and read over.

[724] There's about 300 comments for you on there.

[725] So thank you, Stephen.

[726] And look out.

[727] We all say thank you.

[728] We do.

[729] And look up for a special Wednesday, Stephen MFM, Instagram post with some delightful fan art of you.

[730] And I'll try to find the photo of you delivering the equipment.

[731] equipment and the dinosaur.

[732] Oh, yeah, that has to go in there.

[733] It has to go in there as well.

[734] Yeah, Stephen, you're a treasure, and we appreciate you.

[735] We're going to send you an edible arrangement.

[736] Do you know?

[737] We love you.

[738] Thank you, Stephen.

[739] Yes.

[740] No, I love you both.

[741] And, I mean, this is the longest job I've ever had.

[742] Hey, it's amazing.

[743] Come on.

[744] And I'm, yeah, I'm just so thankful and the best job I've ever had and will have.

[745] So, thank you.

[746] Yay.

[747] Yay.

[748] To Stephen.

[749] Yeah.

[750] Couldn't have done it without you.

[751] And I can't wait to work together again soon.

[752] Oh, God, please.

[753] So, yes.

[754] Yeah, it's going to be great.

[755] Yeah.

[756] So thank you.

[757] Thank you very much.

[758] I can't believe it's five years.

[759] I know that I'm like an old lady saying the same thing over and over again.

[760] But it really blows my mind.

[761] It doesn't feel like five years.

[762] I mean, it feels we've all compared to what it felt like sitting in your old apartment.

[763] It does.

[764] But then just also the three of us just sitting here.

[765] does not at all.

[766] It's weird.

[767] It's this trio that's like stayed this way.

[768] It's really cool.

[769] It's like a, God, we've been through the trenches.

[770] Not the trenches.

[771] It's actually been pretty fucking sweet.

[772] But we've been through them together.

[773] We started from the middle.

[774] Now we're here.

[775] You know what I mean?

[776] You know the song.

[777] All right.

[778] You know who's first and last this week?

[779] Stephen tell us.

[780] It's Karen.

[781] Woo.

[782] Guys, I got to blow my nose.

[783] on my fucking dress because I can't get up.

[784] Oh.

[785] This is like a live show.

[786] It is.

[787] I sometimes think about how I blew my nose on my dress at a live show in front of like 2 ,000 people.

[788] Hey.

[789] I'm proud of myself.

[790] Anything for the audience.

[791] Anything to shame my mom a little more.

[792] So last week, Georgia, I almost said Nora.

[793] Georgia did the disappearance murder of Lacey.

[794] Peterson.

[795] It was amazing.

[796] It was so thorough.

[797] We got into some real good discussions.

[798] It went on long enough for just like this top of show has where my story got bumped.

[799] And it's kind of funny because now this is standing alone.

[800] But I still think it qualifies because to me, this is one of the ultimate survival stories.

[801] That it was until very recently, very unknown.

[802] Almost no one knew about it except for the people who lived near and around the country and where this took place.

[803] So basically, and you might remember this last May, about three months into the pandemic, there was an article in the British newspaper, The Guardian, and it was written by a Dutch historian and best -selling author named Rutter Bregman, believe, even though his name is spelled Rutger, I watch people pronounce it Ruter.

[804] So he wrote this book called Humankind, A Hopeful Story.

[805] And so this is the Apple Books Review.

[806] With a long history chock full of slavery, genocide, and war, it's easy to start thinking that perhaps human beings are inherently bad.

[807] But author and historian, Richard Bregman, has an entirely different view.

[808] He believes that most people deep down are pretty decent, and he's rounded up a slew of examples from many of the worst moments in recorded human history to, back up his claim from the tragedy of 9 -11 to the sinking of the Titanic, from the aftermath of Hurricane Katrina to the horrors of the Nazi concentration camps, Bregman explains how unwavering human kindness and genuine altruism have always triumphed, even in the most horrifying situations.

[809] Wow.

[810] So basically, that book was coming out, and so there was an article, he wrote about that book, and he wrote this article in The Guardian.

[811] And he talked about this survival story.

[812] And that was his example.

[813] And the article that he wrote immediately went viral.

[814] There was like, I think seven million people read this article in the first week.

[815] And there was a bidding war for the film rights, of course.

[816] And 60 Minutes did a segment on it that my sister called me to tell me I have to watch.

[817] Oh, my God.

[818] So basically, everything I'm about to tell you is either from Router Breggman's Guardian article, that 60 Minutes segment.

[819] Newsweek, the website Trove, and Wikipedia.

[820] Great.

[821] Because I haven't heard a peep one about this.

[822] You have not?

[823] I'm the fucking, I'm the demographic.

[824] What?

[825] You're the demo.

[826] I'm the demographic.

[827] You may have, he also went this same author, and he's a Dutch historian, author, right, or whatever.

[828] He also went viral because he was at Davos in, I believe, 2019.

[829] and he basically told all the billionaires at Davos you need to start paying taxes and he was he he explained it and so calmly that that also went viral I remember watching that where he was just like you have to give you should be giving more than your share he's really really brilliant a brilliant mind amazing so yeah okay so I'm going to tell you this story and this is the story of the real life Lord of the flies Oh, no. Yeah.

[830] I didn't know that was a thing.

[831] Let's do it.

[832] Here we go.

[833] So 35 -year -old Peter Warner is the youngest son of one of Australia's most successful businessmen, Arthur Warner.

[834] Arthur heads a company called Electronics Industries in Victoria, Australia.

[835] They manufacture electronics, everything from radios to TVs to washers and dryers.

[836] So like any type of industry, Arthur expects his son to follow in his footsteps.

[837] but Peter doesn't want to.

[838] So when he's 17, Peter runs away to sail around the world.

[839] He travels to Shanghai, Stockholm, Hong Kong, all over the place.

[840] When he comes home, five years later, he is a Swedish credential certifying him as a shipping captain.

[841] But Daddy Arthur is not impressed.

[842] So he finally convinces Peter to settle down and come work for him at electronic industries.

[843] but Peter's love for sailing remains strong in his heart so he buys himself a fishing fleet and he keeps it dock in Tasmania and he goes sailing any chance that he gets.

[844] So years later on September 11th, 1966, Peter and his crew are sailing on his boat and the name of his boat is the Just David.

[845] It's not even true.

[846] He's got people on the boat.

[847] It's a lot.

[848] First of all, it's a lie.

[849] and sexy.

[850] Second of all, it's not a sexy play on words, which is what we're used to here in America.

[851] It's just David.

[852] So they're in the Tasman Sea, which stretches between Australia and New Zealand up to Fiji and Tonga.

[853] So that's the kind of the area we're in, which is I looked at this map so many times, but I absolutely know that I'm going to be hearing from Australian and Kiwi murderinos who tell me what I did wrong.

[854] And oh my God.

[855] these pronunciations.

[856] I have a same pronunciation list right here.

[857] Oh, wow.

[858] But they're this, it's basically this big open sea east, I want to say.

[859] It's okay.

[860] East of Australia.

[861] Okay.

[862] It's just me, you and Stephen here.

[863] Okay.

[864] Okay.

[865] And there's no judgment.

[866] There's no judgment here.

[867] Okay.

[868] Can we take a sacred pause?

[869] Mimi just stretched her paw out.

[870] She's like, Okay.

[871] This is a safe.

[872] Here's a pause.

[873] Okay.

[874] So they're testing out some fishing equipment when through his binoculars, Peter spots something interesting.

[875] About five or six miles away, he sees a tall landmass jutting out of the water.

[876] And it's the island of Atta.

[877] So we'll tell you a little bit about Atta.

[878] It's a small volcanic island.

[879] The volcano is extinct.

[880] And it's about 450 acres and rising to a peak.

[881] of a little less than 1 ,300 feet.

[882] And it sits about 99 miles south, southwest of Tonga's main island of Tonga Tapu.

[883] So in Polynesian mythology, Atta, along with another small island called Iowa are the first two islands that the Maui brothers raise from the ocean floor.

[884] So these islands are very hilly.

[885] So the Maui brothers stomp on them to try to flatten them.

[886] but it's tiring work.

[887] So the next time they raise the main islands of Tonga, they make sure to make them flat.

[888] So Tonga's flat, but these islands are very hilly and very, like, they have high points.

[889] Got, I got it.

[890] So in 1863, the population of the island is about 350.

[891] Until an Australian -born whaling captain named Thomas James McGrath sails his ship, the Grecian out to Atta, and kidnaps a hundred and.

[892] 144 of the islanders to sell them as slaves.

[893] So to protect the remaining islanders, the reigning king of Tonga, King George Tupo, evacuates the rest of the islanders, brings them to Iowa, and leaves Atta uninhabited.

[894] So since that time, it's the whole island's been empty.

[895] So when Peter spots some burnt patches on the green hillside, his curiosity is peaked because it's very rare that a fire would just spontaneously start on a tropical island.

[896] Right.

[897] So as he's staring at the burn patches through his binoculars trying to figure out what could have caused them, he sees a naked boy with hair down to his shoulders jump off the cliff and into the sea.

[898] And then more boys begin to appear behind him.

[899] They all start screaming as the boy in the water begins swimming closer and closer to pears.

[900] Peter's boat.

[901] Oh, my God.

[902] When he finally gets there, he yells up to Peter and his crew in English.

[903] My name is Stephen.

[904] Steven.

[905] There are six of us, and we reckon we've been here for 15 months.

[906] Holy shit.

[907] What's it called when it's a gang of boys?

[908] Like a, is it like a crew murder?

[909] A salami.

[910] A salami.

[911] Salami boys.

[912] There she is.

[913] A bag of corn nuts?

[914] What did boys like?

[915] A BMX bike?

[916] Of boys.

[917] And this is how the unbelievable story of six Tongan boys begins.

[918] Okay.

[919] So in 1965, these boys ranging in age from 13 to 16 are attending a strict Catholic boarding school called St. Andrews College in Tonga's capital of Nuku alofa, located on the main island of Tonga.

[920] Okay.

[921] So their names are Sione Fataula.

[922] He's 16.

[923] Sione is 16.

[924] Stephen, who's name is Tevita Fatai Latu.

[925] He's also 16.

[926] David, who is Tevita Fifita Siolaa.

[927] He's 13.

[928] And Kolo Fikitoa.

[929] He's 16.

[930] And Sione Felipe Totao and his nickname is Mano and he's 15 and Luke I know how to pronounce that one Luke Veikoso and he's 15 great job thank you I did practice these because it's actually not as hard it's just that it's way more syllables than we're used to but it's actually pretty basic okay so basically Sione Stephen David Kolo Mono and Luke.

[931] So the boys are bored of school.

[932] They yearn for adventure.

[933] They're tired of the like the strictness.

[934] We get it.

[935] So they decide to run away together.

[936] They're not sure if they want to go to Fiji, which is 500 miles away or to New Zealand, which is almost 1 ,500 miles away.

[937] Wow.

[938] And they don't have a boat of their own.

[939] But this is what I, this is what makes them a group of boys.

[940] They know a local fisherman named Tanya.

[941] Yela O 'heila, and they don't like him.

[942] So they decide they're going to quote unquote borrow his boat.

[943] Yeah, they are.

[944] Right?

[945] I don't like him.

[946] Let's steal something from it.

[947] This guy's a dick.

[948] You're taking his boat.

[949] Everyone knows.

[950] So the only thing the boys packed for this trip are two sacks of bananas, a couple of coconuts, and a small gas burning stove.

[951] And so they do not.

[952] Corn nuts.

[953] And one of those things of salami that has the skin still on it.

[954] You just eat.

[955] thrown like a banana with your pocket neck they don't bring a map they don't bring a compass they don't bring water so boys they just got this kind of idea in their head late in the evening in june of 1965 the boys climb aboard mr ujila's 24 foot whaling boat and they set sail 13 year old david who's the youngest in the group is the best sailor among them so they count on his expertise to guide them.

[956] So at first, the weather conditions are perfect.

[957] The water's calm.

[958] The skies are clear.

[959] There's a light breeze to carry them out to sea.

[960] They journey five miles north.

[961] They set anchor and they spend the rest of the evening fishing.

[962] Sweet.

[963] When night falls, they all go to sleep.

[964] But in the middle of the night, as they sleep, what happens all the time when you're in a boat out on the ocean?

[965] Gilligan's Islands will tell you, our fucking storms are coming.

[966] That's exactly correct, Georgia.

[967] Thank you.

[968] The winds start to kick up.

[969] The waves get rough, and the boys wake up to water crashing on top of them in the dark.

[970] Like, meat, ma 'am.

[971] Oh, my God.

[972] Horrifying.

[973] So the rope to their anchor snaps.

[974] They try to raise the snail.

[975] Yes.

[976] Epic.

[977] Fucking write that down when it's your five -year anniversary.

[978] Raise it.

[979] What is their favorite?

[980] They try to raise their lucky snail into the air.

[981] Wow.

[982] Epic.

[983] They try to raise the sail to head back home, but the wind is so strong, it immediately tears their sail to shreds.

[984] Shit, you're fucked.

[985] It's serious.

[986] So as the boys try to bail the water off of the boat as fast as they can, the waves tossed the little boat around and destroy the rudder in the process.

[987] So after a few hours, the conditions finally calmed down, but now the boys have no idea where they are.

[988] And even if they had packed a compass or a map, it wouldn't have mattered.

[989] and with the sail and the rudder gone they have no way to steer the boat so they just have to drift along in the open ocean for eight days yeah they use up their small food supply they try and catch fish but they don't have much luck and without fresh water they're forced to use coconut shells to catch rain water whenever possible oh that's that's pretty lucky because you pay a lot of money in like a tiki bar to drink out of a coconut So they were kind of set in a lot of ways.

[990] I miss a Hebrew.

[991] So the boys have to restrict themselves to a sip of water in the morning and a sip of water in the evening.

[992] Finally, on the eighth night, they spot land in the midst of the vast darkness.

[993] It's the island of Atta.

[994] So 15 -year -old Mono volunteers to swim to the rocky shore first.

[995] The boys make a circle, say prayers for good luck, and then Mono hops into the dark sea.

[996] Imagine how scary you.

[997] No, I don't want to.

[998] Yeah.

[999] So the boat isn't too far from the shore, but after eight days of starvation and dehydration, Mono has a very, very hard time swimming.

[1000] The boys, and this is, spoiler alert, them telling the story after the fact.

[1001] When you watch this 60 Minutes clip, they tell the story firsthand.

[1002] Wow.

[1003] And they talk about what it was like.

[1004] And when he talks about them circling up to say the prayer together, he gets teary -eyed because it was like they, you know, they were happy to see land, but who knows what's going to happen.

[1005] So the boys anxiously watch as he swims as hard as he can to the rocky shore.

[1006] Mano would later recall, when I reach the shore, I try to stand up, but when I stand up, the whole world is spinning.

[1007] So I laid down and crawl ashore.

[1008] And when I touch the dry grass, I lie down.

[1009] So from his position lying on the ground, he calls out to his friends in the dark to let them know that he made it safely to land.

[1010] Oh my God.

[1011] So energized by that victory, the boys dive in and swim to shore after Mono.

[1012] Their boat eventually crashes into the rocks and they're only able to save an ore and a piece of the hole.

[1013] So that first night on the island, they're still incredibly thirsty so they muster up the energy to hunt for food.

[1014] They try to fish with the pieces of wood and ore from the boat and they drink the eggs of seabirds and the sea birds bird's blood.

[1015] No. They got.

[1016] They had to do it.

[1017] I know.

[1018] I'm happy for them, but I don't want.

[1019] They had to do it to them.

[1020] Then they fall asleep under the open sky.

[1021] So when we talk about this being the real life Lord of the Flies, we're talking about William Golding's novel, The Lord of the Flies, which is about a group of little British school boys who find themselves stranded on an island after a shipwreck, I believe, and the Stur's train.

[1022] I'm sure I read it.

[1023] I don't remember anything of it.

[1024] The strain of survival and the lack of social guidelines has them at each other's throats by the story's end.

[1025] It is an amazing story.

[1026] And it's taught in schools everywhere.

[1027] It has been for years.

[1028] But in this real life version, Mano, David, Sione, Stephen, Luke, and Kolo make a pact never to quarrel.

[1029] Instead, they lean on the traditions of their tribe because they're all from Tonga to keep morale high.

[1030] They start an end every day with a prayer and a song, and then they set out to explore the island for resources.

[1031] They know they have to work hard to survive and that they have to stick together.

[1032] So they plant a little garden to grow their own food and find some hollow tree trunks to collect and store rainwater.

[1033] Oh, my God.

[1034] Initially, the bulk of their food comes from whatever they can catch fishing, catching seabirds, and eating their eggs, eggs, and foraging for coconuts.

[1035] Wow.

[1036] So basically they were keto.

[1037] So stupid.

[1038] But when they start exploring the higher reaches of the island, the boys find the old volcano crater where the Tongans who lived there a century before had made their homes.

[1039] They find machetes.

[1040] They find fertile soil to grow taro and bananas.

[1041] And to their surprise, they find a thriving chicken population that were left behind when the last.

[1042] last Tongans on the island were evacuated.

[1043] Oh, my God.

[1044] They build a pen for the chickens.

[1045] Then they make, there's pictures of this too.

[1046] They make a gym out of like rocks and branches and stuff that's around.

[1047] So they have like barbells where they're lifting like heavy things.

[1048] Yeah.

[1049] But I got to say real quick, those poor motherfucking chickens.

[1050] They thought they had it fucking made.

[1051] Oh.

[1052] They were like free range.

[1053] Within a volcano.

[1054] Imagine the pecking order and that chicken thing and it got all fucked up when these boys showed up.

[1055] There was like, bye.

[1056] First of all, if we kill this main rooster, you're out.

[1057] You do nothing.

[1058] They also build a badminton court.

[1059] Yeah.

[1060] Get yourself some extracurricular activities.

[1061] It's not just about survival.

[1062] It's about thriving.

[1063] And your sanity, well, thank you for it.

[1064] Yeah.

[1065] They became badminton influencers.

[1066] Stop it.

[1067] I didn't say So that doesn't go on my quota.

[1068] Stephen, don't mark that on my quota.

[1069] Yeah, I only have like three so far.

[1070] Yeah.

[1071] I'm keeping track.

[1072] Thank you.

[1073] Thank you.

[1074] So Kolo, who is the musician of the group, uses driftwood, half a coconut shell, and some steel wires from the boat wreckage to build a makeshift guitar.

[1075] Oh, my God.

[1076] Right?

[1077] He uses it to play their morning and evening songs.

[1078] Aw.

[1079] So they get fitness in there.

[1080] They get music and the arts in there.

[1081] They do it all.

[1082] If they can do it, how come our fun?

[1083] fucking school system can't figure it out because we we always cut funding to schools and education right we always cut funding to schools and education because those are the people that they're too busy to fight it yeah that has to stop yeah and let's get a good nutritious meals in at schools too okay okay that's our other political podcast about the education system Then I just turn the microphone over to my sister who's like, And I love it.

[1084] Let's do it.

[1085] Working together in teams of two, the boys draw up a rigid schedule for their various chores, gardening, hunting, fishing, and more, most importantly, maintaining the fire signal that burns all day and night on the edge of their shore.

[1086] So they're on it.

[1087] Yeah.

[1088] The most important thing.

[1089] They're like, this is great, but it just in case we can get saved, let's give it a shot.

[1090] Yeah.

[1091] I love badminton and everything, but we got to get out of here.

[1092] So the fictional boys in the Lord of the Flies ultimately let their fire die out, which I think is probably supposed to be symbolic in some way.

[1093] But our Tongan boys on Atta keep the fire signal burning for the entire 15 months that they're on the island.

[1094] But as impressive as their survival skills are, life on the island is far from ideal.

[1095] When arguments would erupt and how could they not?

[1096] the boys agree to a solution.

[1097] Whoever was involved in the argument would go to opposite sides of the island.

[1098] Go to your corner of the island.

[1099] Yeah.

[1100] To take a time out.

[1101] So they invented that.

[1102] Oh.

[1103] And then they'd come back together with clearer heads, resolve the issue, and move on.

[1104] We should all have a like metaphoric island that we can retreat to get, you know, kick some sand, punch some waves.

[1105] But then be like, I don't like it over here.

[1106] I'm going to play badminton with my friends.

[1107] Yeah, I'm sorry.

[1108] But arguments aren't the only trouble that they face.

[1109] Otto's terrain is steep and treacherous, making it difficult to navigate at times.

[1110] So you'll see in the 60 Minutes segment, and we'll talk about it later, but they end up going back with a documentary crew just to show how they did it.

[1111] And you can see they were like scaling the like sheer cliff faces.

[1112] It's crazy.

[1113] like what they did and how because they're all really they're really strong yeah you know young they they can do it yeah okay but one day while climbing up the side of the cliff stephen slips and falls and he breaks his leg so without proper medical attention this injury could have been devastating but the other boys managed to climb down to where stephen has landed and and like basically lift him back up the cliff and they reset his leg using sticks and leaves and then while he's healing the other boys pick up the slack on the work that Stephen would ordinarily be doing and the best part about it is they give him shit the entire time they have to do his work at one point at one point Cone jokes around saying oh don't worry we'll do your work while you lie there like King and this is a classic joke don't worry we'll do your work while you lie there like King Taofa haupo which is Tongous king classic right that's such a good slam vicious burn Stephen eventually makes a full recovery he's like fuck you guys watch me watch me so life continues like this for the boys for months and months and months and at one point desperate to get home they try to build a raft out of logs.

[1114] But when they take it out onto the water, they're only able to sail for about a mile before it falls apart.

[1115] This winds up being good luck because the boys were convinced they were in Samoa, which is north of Tonga.

[1116] So they were heading south.

[1117] But in reality, they were already south of Tonga.

[1118] So they would have just been going down into, I don't know what, because I don't know anything about our globe.

[1119] I can tell you, it would have been some more different.

[1120] It would have been somewhere with perhaps penguins like they maybe would have gotten to the south pole okay they're way down there stephen's shaking has had yes and he probably knows a lot he has a geography podcast right no but i'm looking at a globe right now in front of me great great great and a map of antarctica as well too that i have thank you he they would have eventually gotten there all cold with no shirts on okay so they go back to taking turns tending to their fire signal and watching the horizon for any approaching ships and on four occasions ships would appear in what the boys hope will be shouting distance they fam the flames of the fire they shout at the top of their lungs each time and each time the ships just sail on by like just once is bad enough maybe just once is bad enough but Jesus it's that's hard but they keep the fire burning until after 15 long months on September 11th, 1966.

[1121] That's when Peter Warner's fishing boat that just David...

[1122] Yes.

[1123] It makes it closer than any boat that they've ever seen so far.

[1124] Think of it.

[1125] If that guy hadn't, like, hated his dad and had been like, fuck you, dad.

[1126] I'm not going to be in a business.

[1127] Yep.

[1128] And like taken off with the stupidly named boat, what would have happened?

[1129] Yeah.

[1130] It would have been bad.

[1131] Yeah.

[1132] Mono later describes the sensation of spotting the boat by saying, quote, I could not explain how we feel all of us.

[1133] We are full of tears, happy, and like we walk through to heaven.

[1134] But on the boat, Peter and his crew are frightened by the boy's sudden appearance.

[1135] Mono told a reporter, because we were all naked, long hair, Mr. Warner did not put the ladder down because they were all scared about us.

[1136] What?

[1137] Mm -hmm.

[1138] And because Peter Warner knew that sometimes criminals in the islands are, exiled to remote places as punishment.

[1139] The crew thought perhaps Mono and the boys were thieves or worse trying to escape their punishment.

[1140] Luckily for the boys, they all knew English and they were able to communicate exactly who they were.

[1141] So Peter Warner lets them on board the Just David and the boys explained they've been stranded for 15 months.

[1142] Still skeptical, Peter tests them a bit to make sure they're telling the truth.

[1143] Mono remembers.

[1144] He gave us a few questions.

[1145] He gave us a few photos from Tonga.

[1146] He showed us the photo of our queen.

[1147] And we said, yes, that's our queen, Queen Salote.

[1148] And finally convinced Peter Radios into Nukalofa to report that he's found the boys.

[1149] After 20 minutes, a very tearful operator responds, you found them.

[1150] These boys have been given up for dead.

[1151] Funerals have been held.

[1152] If it's them, it's a miracle.

[1153] Oh, wow.

[1154] That's amazing.

[1155] Right?

[1156] So with that confirmation, Peter and his crew steer the fishing boats toward Nuka Alofa, bringing the boys back to Tonga after being stranded and presumed dead for a year and a half.

[1157] But here's a big twist.

[1158] As soon as they dock, police board the boat and arrest all six boys for stealing the whaling ship.

[1159] Guys, statute of limitations and punishment served, I feel like, can we play?

[1160] Right.

[1161] So it turns out the owner never got over, his ship being stolen.

[1162] And when he heard that the boys were found safe, he told the police he wanted to press charges.

[1163] So the boys were right.

[1164] He was a complete prick.

[1165] Yeah.

[1166] He just, yeah.

[1167] It's proven right there.

[1168] Right there.

[1169] So Peter Warner's pissed.

[1170] He knows the survival story is extraordinary.

[1171] So he calls Channel 7 in Sydney.

[1172] And he promises to grant the channel the story rights within Australia, while Mike.

[1173] maintaining global rights for himself because he's a businessman.

[1174] And then he pays Mr. Uhlilia, the fisherman whose boat it was, 150 pounds for the stolen boat.

[1175] And then he gets the boys out of jail on the condition that they cooperate with the documentary crew that Channel 7 Sydney wants to make.

[1176] Of course.

[1177] He's his father after all.

[1178] Yes.

[1179] He's a businessman.

[1180] They all happily agree and walk free.

[1181] So now with a camera crew in tow, Peter takes the boys back home to Ha 'a Fava, the island they're from.

[1182] The entire population of the island is about 900 people.

[1183] And they all stand along the shore waiting for the boys.

[1184] So there's actual footage of this?

[1185] There's actual footage because they came into, they weren't on their island when they actually got brought home.

[1186] Like the whole, them getting arrested and everything was on Tonga.

[1187] so when they're brought home to their actual home island the entire island is waiting and you can watch video of like mono's mother walks out into the sea to go and grab him and kiss them they all thought their sons were dead it's beautiful it's crazy that not one of them died i totally thought you were going to have like you know one of them drown or something and they lost their friend but that i mean what amazing story right they stuck together and they they they truly It's a six -person survival story.

[1188] It's beautiful.

[1189] Peter Warner is lauded as a hero for rescuing the castaways.

[1190] And that night, the people of Ha 'a Fava hold a huge celebratory feast in their honor.

[1191] Among the other delicacies that are served, they all eat piles of Pacific Spiny Lobster, which Peter Warner falls in love with.

[1192] He's like, what is this?

[1193] So days later, when King Taufa Hau -Tupo, the fourth, reaches out to Peter to thank him for saving the boys and offer him a favor in return, Peter asks permission to start a business in Tonga, trapping those lobsters, and the king says yes.

[1194] So Peter then asks the six boys if they'd like to work for him as the crew of the lobster fishing boat.

[1195] Oh, my God.

[1196] Which gives them a chance at the adventurous life on the sea that they had always.

[1197] longed for.

[1198] Stop it.

[1199] I'm going to cry.

[1200] And the boys jump at the chance to work for Peter.

[1201] Right?

[1202] It's so good.

[1203] So in 1968, Peter Warner and his family moved to Tonga and they end up living there for the next 30 years.

[1204] Oh, fuck you, dad.

[1205] And Peter and Mono work together and they form an especially deep bond and they remain best friends for 50 years.

[1206] stop it yeah so basically when so when Rucker Bregman stumbled upon this story it was like on an internet it was like on a blog where it was a local story that everyone knew about like in Tonga and maybe a little bit in like the surrounding area maybe Australia maybe in New Zealand but virtually unknown so he went down there to see if he could find out if anybody was alive.

[1207] And it turned out Peter Warner had moved back to Australia.

[1208] He got out of the lobster business.

[1209] So he's living in Australia and he's gone from fishing to he's a nut farmer.

[1210] And he has basically written this, his life story and this story of how he discovered and rescued these castaways.

[1211] He has it all written down.

[1212] He knows all the details.

[1213] And he knows that there's video.

[1214] or film, I should say, and everything.

[1215] So when Router goes down there, he's like, oh, yeah, check it out.

[1216] I can tell you this whole story.

[1217] And most of the boys who are now, of course, not just grown men, but kind of older men, they're still alive, too, to tell the story.

[1218] It's really, and Peter and Mono remain friends.

[1219] So later on, critics would accuse Peter of exploiting the boy's story for his own personal gain, but mono adamantly disagrees.

[1220] He says Peter is, quote, like a father to him.

[1221] And then here's this awesome quote that is my favorite.

[1222] Quote, I know a lot of people say to me things about Mr. Warner makes a lot of money from our story.

[1223] Who cares?

[1224] If no, Mr. Warner, we never survive.

[1225] If no, Mr. Warner, we won't be here to tell our story.

[1226] If Mr. Warner makes some money from it, good luck for him.

[1227] That's my opinion.

[1228] I would tell everybody, please shut up.

[1229] Oh my God.

[1230] I love him.

[1231] My hero.

[1232] My hero.

[1233] Sadly, just last month, Mono lost his best friend on April 13th when Peter Warner died after his boat capsized, crossing the Belina Bar of the Richmond River.

[1234] He was 90 years old.

[1235] Oh, my.

[1236] So he lived a big, rich, beautiful life.

[1237] Died doing what he loved.

[1238] For real.

[1239] And in that episode of 60 Minutes, Ruder Bregman tells the interviewer, quote, if tens of millions of children still have to read the Lord of the Flies in school today, I think they also deserve to know about this one time in all of world history when real kids shipwrecked on a real island, because that's a very different story.

[1240] Ancione tells the interviewer in 60 minutes, quote, I think the culture where we come from, we are close, really close family.

[1241] we share everything we're poor but we love each other and this is a perfect time i think in our history to listen to and learn from mono sione stephen david colo and luke and their amazing survival story of teamwork solidarity hope and love and that is the amazing true story of the real life lord of the flies holy shit great job caring Kilgariff some uplifting um good stuff and i needed that yeah right i think we all do right now i'm having a rough time i'm sure we all are i mean yeah it's it's such a beautiful story of like coming together and friendship and different cultures and what we can learn from each other and how important that is.

[1242] And I love that that's so different from Lord of the Flies because they actually, in real life, banded together because of their beautiful culture and the way they were raised and how important that is.

[1243] And that's amazing, Karen.

[1244] Thank you so much for sharing that.

[1245] Yes, absolutely.

[1246] Me too.

[1247] I felt like, well, when I was researching that and stuff, it was just like a certain time where I was like, God damn, it's, you know, we love true crime.

[1248] you know, this is our interest and this is our fascination, but we do have to float these stories in, and that's why we love a survivor story.

[1249] And something like this, too, is like, it's actually just all beautiful.

[1250] It's a horrible thing they had to go through.

[1251] Right.

[1252] Really difficult.

[1253] But ultimately, it's the proof that, you know, deep down people are good.

[1254] People do try to get along.

[1255] And also, I'm going to read, I actually downloaded humankind, a hopeful story, which is Ruder Bregman's story.

[1256] about that and I'm going to listen to it on my way home.

[1257] So if anybody else wants to read along with me, I think it's a good thing to take in, you know, right now.

[1258] I think we paused on threatening book clubs for the time being until we can get our shit together.

[1259] But listen, let's all just enjoy that.

[1260] We could just read it and see what we think.

[1261] I think it's just like nice to know those examples and keep that stuff in mind just as much as we keep in mind being careful or being safe or whatever.

[1262] It's also, you know, focus on being positive, too, which I don't like.

[1263] But I think it's a good.

[1264] You don't like, which is why you have to do it because it's like, it's like Mr. Rogers' mom, I think, said, look for the helpers, right?

[1265] Sure.

[1266] Yeah.

[1267] Well, that's beautiful.

[1268] Hey, speaking of, maybe we should do some fucking hooray since we haven't done them in so long.

[1269] And we need them in our lives.

[1270] Okay, Karen, you want to go first with your fucking hooray?

[1271] Sure.

[1272] Let's see.

[1273] this one says after five years in a terrible administrative assistant role 15 unsuccessful interviews god 15 that sucks and years of being undervalued and underpaid i just accepted my dream job as an analyst when the right when the hiring manager called i assumed the worst and to hear her say you are the successful candidate it was the most amazing feeling in the world when i hung up the phone my dog and fiance say danced around me in the living room as I burst into tears from happiness.

[1274] I had so many days where I felt so defeated where people treated me less than I deserved.

[1275] For real, shout out to my fellow admins because that shit is hard.

[1276] Watching the amount of emails I got from my current workplace about my departure saying, what will we do without you?

[1277] Everything will fall apart.

[1278] We need you.

[1279] I know.

[1280] And they're just going to have to figure it out.

[1281] That's right.

[1282] That's right, girl.

[1283] And even during a pandemic, at a company with a hiring freeze, I defied the odds with a lot of hard work and by having the will to continually put myself out there, even after so many failures.

[1284] For the first time, in a very long time, there's hope for me. Don't be afraid to work hard and follow your dreams, especially when you're disheartened and discouraged.

[1285] SSDGM Hillary.

[1286] Hillary.

[1287] Hillary.

[1288] That is amazing.

[1289] as an ex -admin assistant myself I want to say you are never valued as well as I kind of sucked at my job but that's amazing.

[1290] Those are the people that get taken for granted the most because yeah because they make everything run so you it's just like oh of course of course those phones are going to get answered of course those copies are going to get made of course everything is going to happen exactly the way I want it to and you get no glory and the pay is shit.

[1291] So hooray.

[1292] Hooray for you, Hillary.

[1293] Okay.

[1294] This is from Instagram from Sheena Warrior Clogger.

[1295] Okay.

[1296] My fucking hooray this week.

[1297] I volunteer at my local elementary school.

[1298] Nope.

[1299] That's not what that says.

[1300] I volunteer on my local cemetery.

[1301] What the fuck?

[1302] Really?

[1303] Jesus.

[1304] Elmwood Cemetery in Memphis, cleaning tombstones and helping with events.

[1305] I pitched a true crime tour.

[1306] to the cemetery staff.

[1307] Where the fuck did I get elementary school?

[1308] I don't know.

[1309] I pitched a true crime tour to the cemetery staff and they love the idea.

[1310] So I'm giving a true crime tour at the cemetery in June and it's sold out in two days.

[1311] Sheena, way to go.

[1312] Elmwood Cemetery in Memphis.

[1313] You better add some fucking dates to that tour.

[1314] Yeah, for real.

[1315] Sell out tour.

[1316] That's awesome.

[1317] That's very cool.

[1318] Also, what a cool thing to like you're doing one thing in your job.

[1319] but you also, you're being creative and you get to, like, go, well, if I like it, maybe a bunch of other people will like it and you know they do.

[1320] How cool is that tour group going to be of just fucking raucous, raucous, rad, true crime lovers.

[1321] High five.

[1322] High fives from us while you're there.

[1323] Yeah, have fun.

[1324] Okay.

[1325] This one is from Peachy 233.

[1326] Yes, it is.

[1327] I'm not going to read you the subject line because I think it's good.

[1328] So I was finishing up my meal prepping.

[1329] feeling on top of the world as I hadn't burned myself today while slicing asparagus a little overzealously I went right through my thumb across the nail stopping at the bone Why?

[1330] Why are you reading us this?

[1331] Because it was sent in and I think it's worth celebrating.

[1332] I love it.

[1333] Thankfully, I stopped when I fell to resist.

[1334] Oh my God, no. My brother took me to the emergency room.

[1335] I kept getting strange looks from every person I spoke to in emergency then I realized I was wearing my Mickey Mouse pajama pants paired with my MFM here's the thing shirt well right well the doctors admired how I'd manage to butcher myself took photos of my wound bandaged me up and sent me on my way fucking hooray I didn't need stitches and that I stopped when I did and here's the thing fuck everyone including including me and my clumsy -ass self.

[1336] And then the last sentence just says, my dad is sending me Kevlar gloves.

[1337] Oh my God.

[1338] I love that she had that on a hospital surrounded by people who were like, what?

[1339] Yeah.

[1340] And also she, it's such a terrible cut.

[1341] But she didn't need stitches.

[1342] No, so fuck everyone.

[1343] Thank you for reping us in all the right places.

[1344] I'm sure a bunch of nurserinos were like, what's up?

[1345] Which we love.

[1346] Thank you for the humility of saying fuck everyone including my including me that makes me laugh so hard it's a great way to live your life okay my last one's from emily rom r o hm it's a little long but it's good fucking hooray also my fucking hooray today is that i'm 41 years old and this week two of my lifelong dreams came true i'm on the original cast album for ride the cyclone the musical which i really quickly looked up and it says ride the cyclone is a musical with music lyrics and a book by Jacob Richmond and Brooke Maxwell.

[1347] It tells a story of members of St. Cassian High School Chamber Choir of Uranium City, Saskatchewan, who perish on a faulty roller coaster called The Cyclone.

[1348] Oh, no. That's just interesting.

[1349] So, and my first solo album, Traveling Show, both dropped on the same day, which wasn't even planned.

[1350] The director of Ride the Cyclone, Rachel Rockwell, who was also my friend and mentor, died of ovarian cancer before she could see this come true.

[1351] But I know she's listening and so proud and also probably has a lot of notes on how both albums could be improved.

[1352] I miss her every day, but fucking hooray that her hard work is immortalized and made it to number to number one on the Canadian charts as soon as it was released.

[1353] Wow.

[1354] Thank you, MFM for being there to always tell me, this is terrible.

[1355] Keep going.

[1356] And SSDGM.

[1357] Nice.

[1358] I know.

[1359] Who is that from?

[1360] It's from Emily.

[1361] Rome and so ride the cyclone and the album Traveling Show.

[1362] So check those both out.

[1363] What's that?

[1364] Congratulations.

[1365] Congratulations.

[1366] That's a big deal.

[1367] Yeah.

[1368] Yeah.

[1369] That's great.

[1370] Very awesome.

[1371] So cool.

[1372] I want to see that musical.

[1373] I know.

[1374] What a twisty tourney.

[1375] Interesting thing.

[1376] Yeah.

[1377] That's really good.

[1378] That was a delightful show.

[1379] I really enjoyed that.

[1380] It feels like uplifting for once.

[1381] Yeah.

[1382] Imagine.

[1383] Imagine that.

[1384] This is what the positive thing.

[1385] podcasts feel like.

[1386] That's right.

[1387] Congratulations.

[1388] They don't even need fucking hooray's because that's all their podcast is.

[1389] Again, thank you, Stephen, for all your hard work and patience and kindness and happy fifth anniversary.

[1390] Appreciate you.

[1391] Thank you.

[1392] Also, everybody needs to know Stephen got rid of his mustache.

[1393] I know.

[1394] There were all these like, we love your bestash, Steven in the in the comments So we couldn't read them because it's not true It's just for the week It's just for the week It's just a nice reset you know You're the ox you know It's like when you shave your head And you're like all right Let's see what it grows back You're having a bare lip boy summer And I think it's gonna be amazing And thank you to our whole team For working so hard for us And thank you to all our listeners Yeah you guys are the ones that make it happen.

[1395] Thank you for being here with us and stay sexy.

[1396] And don't get murdered.

[1397] Goodbye.

[1398] Yeah.

[1399] Yeah.

[1400] Elvis, do you want a cookie?

[1401] Nah.