MFM The Top 3: #3 - Episode 105 - Proclensity

[0] This is exactly right.

[1] Wake up.

[2] Hello.

[3] Good morning.

[4] Good morning and welcome.

[5] To your favorite morning talk show.

[6] My favorite murder.

[7] The morning talk show that screams in your face to wake you up.

[8] Get down.

[9] Get down.

[10] Get up.

[11] Get up.

[12] Get up.

[13] Get back down.

[14] Get back up again.

[15] And then you're like, what do they want for me?

[16] We want just, we want just a couple crunches, easy, simple, simple, just to wake you up fun fun and easy get the blood going yeah burpees you fucking start burping what if burpees were not an exercise but just belching I would be a fucking Olympian you you absolutely would you'd be internationally known um are burpees the ones where you jump up and go down into push up and jump up because I was thinking of her Herkies, which is a cheerleading jump.

[17] Oh, God.

[18] Where you kind of look like a check.

[19] You turn your body into like a check mark.

[20] Check.

[21] And I was going to be like, wouldn't be great at it.

[22] It's such pain.

[23] Oh, and you mean your legs go forward?

[24] Check.

[25] One leg is straight out.

[26] Uh -huh.

[27] And then the other leg comes up in.

[28] Your knee comes to your chest.

[29] Don't do that.

[30] That's just back problems for your life.

[31] It's like this, but in the air.

[32] Okay.

[33] Take it from me. Everyone at home, I'm way up in the air.

[34] She just, she just shows.

[35] me one in the middle of living room was amazing.

[36] Also, what am I talking about?

[37] I don't fucking know technically what a herky is.

[38] Like, you're a cheerleader?

[39] It's like I'm trying to get people to email us about things.

[40] I was a cheerleader, by the way.

[41] I was a song leader junior year of high school.

[42] Oh my God.

[43] Those were the ones that like did routine.

[44] Well, we were a small school, so we only had a certain amount of people anyway.

[45] But you know, we did dance routines to Janet Jackson's control.

[46] It's all about control.

[47] It's all about control.

[48] that's the only one I remember just that we had gloves that were white on the inside and blue on the outside.

[49] What?

[50] You're like blowing my mind.

[51] So then you do a lot of this and you switch it.

[52] Like a clown.

[53] White to blue.

[54] Like a mine, but white blue, white blue, white blue.

[55] White blue.

[56] Oh, I mean like, and then one is this one is this way and one is this way so it's white blue.

[57] That's right.

[58] Then change it up.

[59] And then boom.

[60] And then change it out.

[61] Five, six, seven, eight.

[62] And change it up.

[63] And then this.

[64] is my favorite murder put your gloves up by your face are they whiter are they blue okay this is one of my favorite parts about having this podcast is i get random texts from my beautiful friends who listen to it who take the time to listen to it oh wow and then but they're they sometimes can be months behind so the other day my beautiful friend sam pancake that's his real name who is who plays dorothy in the live golden girls that i told you about I love so much.

[65] I have the mug.

[66] Thank you for being a cunt.

[67] You got me. It's still like Cassida del Campo.

[68] They started a new run of it.

[69] It's amazing.

[70] You really should go.

[71] But he sent me a text and all it said was fingers and faces.

[72] And it made me not so hard.

[73] Fingers and faces.

[74] The best beauty shop name.

[75] The best worst beauty shop name of all time.

[76] We've ever heard of.

[77] Just cut to the basics.

[78] Fingers and faces from the live Orlando show.

[79] Boat -o.

[80] Blue white.

[81] the live for aando show and I'm sitting there reading my whatever one of us is reading a murder and I just see in the audience whatever fucking production had happened the night before maybe it was who could it have been let's say someone like not too big not too small but so you've heard of them maybe um let's see it could have been you know it could have been at like um who's the you might as well be walking on the sun smash melt thank you see man maybe it's a whole line you know you You might as well be walking on the sun for all the good it'll do you.

[82] You might as well.

[83] Might as well.

[84] One sad fucking confetti piece that had been sitting there since the night before slowly falls into this lovely lady's lap in the front row.

[85] That's right.

[86] I was just like, it's like she was blessed.

[87] Or she's dead.

[88] I don't know.

[89] I mean, it could have been the death confetti.

[90] It could have been the death confetti.

[91] It could have been so many things.

[92] Dottie.

[93] What's, is Dottie arranging papers upstairs?

[94] Daddy's digging an inanimate object Daddy You go for it You've been sedentary all day The joy Okay You can cut that The joy of kittens The joy of kittens Joy of kittens Joy of Sex The joy of kittens That's the illustrated book You need to be reading Do you know I have the joy of sex I have an old copy I'm trying to use books And I was like Well I'm absolutely buying this Does that mean But did anybody write in it?

[95] I don't know Do they write in it?

[96] I mean That's the first thing I would look for where it's like somebody folded up a piece of paper and stuck it inside.

[97] So I'm like, try this.

[98] With Gary.

[99] Maybe Gary will love you now.

[100] Ask Gary to please do this.

[101] All I know is that we got me and my friend Katie Newberger who lived down the street.

[102] She's the one whose family had llamas and they had the old abandoned house on their property.

[103] Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[104] With the bills and the walls.

[105] I believe, I'm almost positive it was at her house that we look through that book because her mom was also a nurse.

[106] And it was so we were starting to look at it like, ooh.

[107] Yeah.

[108] And the illustrations are so technical and like anatomical that we got bummed out very quickly.

[109] It's not interesting.

[110] Maybe we should just go swimming instead.

[111] It's like, and I said this last week, I talked about Reductress and their hilarious T -shirts, but they have one that's like, you know, and you see like a cow and it shows you the cuts of beef.

[112] There's one that's a vagina and it says the cuts of vagina.

[113] Oh, no. And it's just like the cuts.

[114] It's just in that style.

[115] That's hilarious.

[116] I just saw one of theirs on Twitter and it said, girl who promised not to tell anybody only told two people.

[117] And then the picture is so funny because it's a girl whose face is right next to a bunch of flowers.

[118] Like she's all smiling and a little proud.

[119] That's me. What about bitch?

[120] This bitch brought loose leaf tea to a fucking food donation thing.

[121] It's just like some fuck you can tell this bitch is like some hippie bitch who doesn't wear makeup because she's gorgeous.

[122] Not because she.

[123] Yeah.

[124] This bitch.

[125] Blue Sleaf Tea?

[126] What about where did I come from?

[127] Do you remember that book?

[128] Oh, yes.

[129] Dude, with the fucking guy who looks like George Costanza and his wife.

[130] Actually, it looks like George Costanza's parents.

[131] And it's showing them having a baby and my mind was blown.

[132] Well, what about the part?

[133] There is a part where they're explaining to their child about sex.

[134] And it's like, they basically say they rub on each other really fast or something.

[135] And I just remember staring.

[136] Steven's going to have a nervous picture.

[137] Stephen can't talk about sex, Steven.

[138] Staring it.

[139] I don't know what that is.

[140] Well, I'll tell you, it's when two fat little cartoons rub against each other.

[141] It was very, like, I remember staring at it and just being like, it can't be this.

[142] Yeah, sex isn't just friction, right?

[143] It can't be this.

[144] Just this little man. Oh, yeah.

[145] That was very confusing.

[146] That was a confusing time, the 80s.

[147] The 80s and that age and like before you know and then what you think you know and then when you find out.

[148] And how funny it is, but you still can't get rid of the things you thought you knew, so it is still a little that.

[149] And the thing I thought I knew is God can see me and it's wrong.

[150] God can see you, but he's into it.

[151] What?

[152] Sorry, blasphemy.

[153] Is that what they're teaching in the temple?

[154] God damn it.

[155] Shit.

[156] I'm going to hell.

[157] Is there hell?

[158] I'm going there.

[159] You don't think there's hell.

[160] Goodbye.

[161] Uh, no. There's something.

[162] Bye hell.

[163] Goodbye hell.

[164] See you.

[165] Deuce is hell.

[166] Peace out, motherfucker.

[167] What do you have that sweet to talk about?

[168] Let's see.

[169] Besides friction of sex.

[170] Besides describing sex cartoons from the 70s.

[171] Well, this is a great email we got.

[172] Hi, ladies.

[173] This is from Aaron.

[174] Hi, ladies.

[175] I was at the second Belboa theater show back in October.

[176] That's San Diego, right?

[177] And was happy to get a chance to listen to that first show that was recently posted.

[178] Oh, it's not fun.

[179] Of course, I do immediately.

[180] Google the Betty Broderick murder house.

[181] It's right down the street from me and up for sale.

[182] Some great realtor spin to quote, a home rich in history.

[183] Shut up.

[184] Because you have to tell, right?

[185] It says, have $2 .5 million lying around.

[186] 2 .5 million dollars live in San Diego House?

[187] Yeah.

[188] And then she listed it, I could say the address, right?

[189] Because it's an empty house.

[190] Yeah.

[191] I mean, like, or...

[192] Just say what street it's on.

[193] It's on Cypress Avenue.

[194] Oh, where Van Morrison lives.

[195] That was a deep cut.

[196] Yeah.

[197] Wow.

[198] That's kind of hilarious.

[199] Would you move into a place if like murders had happened there?

[200] Would you care?

[201] Like would you take, have pause and ask your girlfriends over drinks or like, would you be cool with it?

[202] I think it just depends on the house.

[203] Like if it, I think you'd have, I would have to go in and like feel it out.

[204] But if it was some really old house, yeah, I don't know.

[205] Let's say like in the 80s or 90s even, there was a murder.

[206] even the 2000s heard of them I want to you know what I'm being Cavalier right now because I want to say I would but I just thought of the first night in that house and I would just be out of my mind I feel like I would be fine but I bet I wouldn't any noise you heard though but I don't care I don't hear that do you I mean but if you alone in the house I mean anything I feel like Vince would be more creeped out than I would and I would pretend that I was saying no to the house on his behalf but really it'd be because I was freaked out you, but I couldn't admit it because I have a murder podcast.

[207] Yes, that's right.

[208] You have to use him as a human shield.

[209] And you can use me whenever he wants.

[210] When he hates wrestling and can't talk about it.

[211] Right.

[212] He's really painted himself into a wrestling corner.

[213] He asked to love it for the rest of his life.

[214] He, there is no fucking doubt in my mind that that person Vince Averall, the love of my life, will love wrestling for the rest of his life.

[215] He's going to two shows in the next two days.

[216] Is you really?

[217] Yeah.

[218] It's, there's no worry.

[219] You know what's really hilarious?

[220] so many people that I follow on Twitter love wrestling that I feel like I have a good historical backlog knowledge of I mean people post stuff you should start your own wrestling podcast yeah you know what I will I'm gonna call it my favorite wrestling podcast I went home after our last recording and watched the end of the fucking world dude on Netflix it's such a good you have to watch it it it's everything Georgia said it was and more it's I binged it all at once it were my I forgot to mention that thing.

[221] So I was saying Wes Anderson, Harold and Maud, my friend Dahmer, almost a little bit.

[222] Oh, yeah, yeah.

[223] It's just so gorgeous.

[224] It's really well done.

[225] It's just those Brits, they know how to do some storytelling and some character development.

[226] And the dry humor.

[227] Yes.

[228] Oh, it's so good.

[229] But those kids are such good actors.

[230] Amazing.

[231] Such, uh, I, I never want to watch teens do anything in these teens.

[232] We're the exception.

[233] They were so, it's such a good show.

[234] Yeah.

[235] I want to watch it.

[236] The end of the fucking world.

[237] Um, She was, she that kid whose dad was like, my son's missing, and the cops were like, he's probably a runaway.

[238] And then I was like, fuck that shit and hired a fucking helicopter and found his kids crashed in a car in a ravine still alive 30 hours later.

[239] Shit.

[240] So like a couple of his kids were trapped in the car?

[241] No, it's just his son.

[242] By himself?

[243] Yeah.

[244] Oh my God.

[245] And the helicopter search, search found the kid crashed in a fucking ravine still alive 30 hours later.

[246] He's like, holy shit.

[247] This kid's not a fucking runaway.

[248] I thought you were going to mention the.

[249] alive, still alive.

[250] The kid was found alive.

[251] Yes, he survived.

[252] I thought you were going to talk about the three kids that escaped the house in Riverside County.

[253] Oh, Jesus.

[254] That were 12, like children between the ages of 9 and 27 chained to a wall.

[255] It was like 14 kids.

[256] Yes, and they're so emaciated, they couldn't tell how old they were.

[257] In Riverside.

[258] And also the, my friend Karen Anderson, is the one who told me to look at it.

[259] And she goes, is so upsetting.

[260] It looks like Jeff Daniels and dumber, dumb and dumber.

[261] Oh, no. And he totally has the weirdest bangs, like, page boy haircut.

[262] It's very disturbing.

[263] The parents look very problematic.

[264] Yeah.

[265] And have proven to be.

[266] Right.

[267] Those poor children.

[268] Like, to be able to still in prison a 27 -year -old means you've had some fucking lifelong conditioning of this poor kid.

[269] I'll tell you that when a kid knocked on their door, I bet you, this is my theory.

[270] A kid going around trying to sell magazines or something and knocked on that door.

[271] Whoever opened that door, whatever the smell was, that kid was like, sorry, I forgot something on my bike and ran away.

[272] Like, don't you think a house like that.

[273] It would just be like one weird candle in the back round and everything else is dark.

[274] How many?

[275] Yeah.

[276] Or did they have the perfect veneer and like no one could tell?

[277] Yeah.

[278] Probably not.

[279] I want to.

[280] You got to lose.

[281] I mean, you can't, you've got to lose that veneer after a few kids.

[282] After the 11th child just chained to the wall?

[283] Jesus Christ.

[284] Okay.

[285] All right.

[286] Georgia, what if I told you we could be transported to the 1920s to solve a murder?

[287] I'd say my entire life and wardrobe have led me to this point.

[288] If you want to escape to a bygone age of mystery, danger, and romance, then check out June's Journey, the hidden object mystery game that tests your detective skills.

[289] June's Journey is a mobile mystery game that follows June Parker and New York Socialist.

[290] living in London.

[291] As June Parker, you'll investigate beautifully detailed scenes of the 1920s while uncovering the mystery of her sister's murder.

[292] There are twists, turns, and catchy tunes, all leading you deeper into the thrilling storyline.

[293] And if you play well enough, you could make it to the detective club where you can chat with other players and either team up with them or compete against them.

[294] June needs your help, but watch out you never know which character might be a villain.

[295] Find out, as you escape this world and dive into June's world of mystery, murder, and romance.

[296] Can you crack the case?

[297] Download June's Journey for free today on iOS and Android.

[298] Discover your inner detective when you download June's Journey for free today on iOS and Android.

[299] That's June's Journey, download the game for free on iOS and Android.

[300] Goodbye.

[301] Karen, you know I'm all about vintage shopping.

[302] Absolutely.

[303] And when you say vintage, you mean when you physically drive to a store and actually purchase something with cash.

[304] Exactly.

[305] And if you're a small business owner, you might know Shopify is great for online sales.

[306] But did you know that they also power in -person sales?

[307] That's right.

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[309] Give your point -of -sale system a serious upgrade with Shopify.

[310] From accepting payments to managing inventory, they have everything you need to sell in person.

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[312] Their sleek, reliable POS hardware takes every major payment method and looks fabulous at the same time.

[313] With Shopify, we have a powerful partner.

[314] for managing our sales.

[315] And if you're a business owner, you can too.

[316] Connect with customers in line and online.

[317] Do retail right with Shopify.

[318] Sign up for a $1 per month trial period at Shopify .com slash murder.

[319] Important note, that promo code is all lowercase.

[320] Go to Shopify .com slash murder to take your retail business to the next level today.

[321] That's Shopify .com slash murder.

[322] Goodbye.

[323] Your first this week?

[324] I guess I am.

[325] Yeah.

[326] Is that correct?

[327] Yeah.

[328] You were first last week.

[329] Okay.

[330] Okay.

[331] Okay.

[332] So I have been on my couch.

[333] I sprained my ankle on Sunday.

[334] Tell everyone, I saw the bruise.

[335] It's fucked up.

[336] It's, um, I rolled my ankle.

[337] I've already sprained both my ankles twice.

[338] This is not, I don't find talking about medical problems interesting at all, but this was kind of great because I was walking my dogs with my friend on.

[339] He said, hey, didn't, did they redo that house?

[340] I look over my shoulder like it's a, Gina Tay commercial walking the dog one direction but looking backwards and I'm like that house over there and just step like on the edge of the cement where the cement meets the grass roll my ankle listen to it snap my friend Don who was behind me said it turned at a 90 degree angle and then I went down he said it looked like I looked like a stunt woman I went like I went down like hand hip leg yeah like in a perfect line he really liked it but um it, I knew immediately that it was bad.

[341] Yeah.

[342] And so I just got up and went in and kept it like, couch, goodbye.

[343] Yes, I elevated, iced, whatever.

[344] So, um, tonight is the first night I've gone out and like driven.

[345] Oh, no. It was fine.

[346] If it's, if I keep it like, you know, wrapped in static.

[347] So you've had a long time to study your murder.

[348] I just got really caught up and telling that whole story.

[349] I'm like, oh, yeah, that's right.

[350] I'm trying to talk about this.

[351] So I've been laying in front on the couch.

[352] Now, I'm talking about that as if...

[353] Kind of a dream.

[354] What?

[355] It's kind of a dream.

[356] Well, also, I do it anyway.

[357] What I realized is, this sprained ankle just made me go, you have to stop living like your ankle is sprained all the time.

[358] You have to stop it.

[359] So once your ankle is not sprained, start living.

[360] Leave the house.

[361] Go ahead and walk somewhere.

[362] Because you know what?

[363] I guarantee they'll be spraying ankles in the future where you're going to be like, I wish I had lived my life outside of this.

[364] Yes.

[365] I always would know that I'd be back here at some point, enjoying a sprained ankle.

[366] The couch is forever.

[367] You might as well get up and move around while you can.

[368] And I feel like my body, because I'm so indignant and I'm so like defiance disorder -based, I feel like my body has to sprain my ankle like every eight months just to be like up off the couch now.

[369] Or get you really sick to be like, wouldn't you love to not be here right now in that fucking couch?

[370] Stop living like you're sick and all of your joints don't work.

[371] Okay.

[372] But since I was, there is a Netflix movie called Murder on the Cape.

[373] I don't know if you've seen it.

[374] It, of course, immediately came up when it went on to Netflix in my suggestions.

[375] Netflix knows us.

[376] What's amazing about it, because I was, and I think you and I talked about this a little bit, but I got really addicted to those Hallmark Christmas movies over Christmas because my sister kept putting them on as a joke, but then we'd watch them for real.

[377] I love that.

[378] That's like what Christmas is for.

[379] it is right because it's you get like some hot chocolate we're all sitting on the couch and then it's just make fun of TV it's blather yeah it's it's a guy in a huge sweater yeah pretending he works at a Christmas tree farm right but really and it's always then it's like oh she's really smart and type A but she had to come to this small town to do something so okay so I see murder on the cape and I'm like that doesn't look like an actual movie and it doesn't good.

[380] And I'm like, and also, I wonder which murder on which cape this is.

[381] It checked all your boxes.

[382] What's the thing?

[383] It hurtked all your boxes.

[384] It herkied right into all my boxes.

[385] But so I looked it up online first before I actually, I didn't want to watch it cold.

[386] I didn't want to waste my time.

[387] And the first thing that came up was an article on Decider, the website Decider, called, and the headline was Murder on the Cape is a bonkers crime story based on a true story.

[388] So they had already watched it and reviewed it and we're like this thing is like the room basically so I stopped reading that article because I didn't want to like in case I had some of the same thoughts I want to say that I just read the headline and then at the beginning the description I was like okay I'm there not plagiarizing this the word bonkers is amazing by the bonkers is my favorite word why isn't they use more it's so funny my friend Eric Dodurian on Twitter changed his name to Linda Kay Bonkers and I laugh every time I see it um okay okay so this and i highly recommend that you do your uh substance of choice and that can be the bible it can be a glass of water but but do something to get yourself in the mood to accept what the television is giving you you could pour a glass of water on the bible that could be your thing and then light it on fire but what you should do is get some white wine or ginger ale and Southern Comfort.

[389] Okay.

[390] How about some Malibu Coconut liqueur?

[391] Okay.

[392] And a Fanta.

[393] Okay.

[394] Lime.

[395] Okay.

[396] Got it.

[397] Fanta lime and some...

[398] And then a twist of lemon.

[399] Whatever it need be.

[400] Karen's just talking about her deathbed wish.

[401] That serious, I'm like me a grasshopper.

[402] Ugh.

[403] I almost had, when the Hawaiian nuclear strike, thing came to her.

[404] It's like, I mean, I might as well just, this is really bad.

[405] But anyway, point being, I mean, we all get it.

[406] Right?

[407] Yeah.

[408] I'm going to be back on that or off that wagon the second I have a valid governmental reason.

[409] The minute it happens, I'm going to come over and be like, hey, what you doing?

[410] With one of those huge bottles of champagne.

[411] Yeah, well, I'm not going to bring it.

[412] I'm going to let you, because I don't want to enable you.

[413] Oh, you're just going to discover me. hi just wanted to check in on you and then you're going to be like that's weird i guess i have champagne too it's going to be a champagne party um okay so murder on the cape the made for netflix movie is quite something and i highly recommend you watch it it is very much like the room meets a uh it's almost for me i would actually say more it's not so bad as the room but there are definitely actors where you say did you like acting before your friend decided to make this movie or is this something that was like you wanted to do that this weekend along with your friend who decided to make this movie there's a lot of people making big choices taking huge swings really going for it there's a lot I can I could see in my mind's eye these actors going hey Chuck or whoever the director is I'm really going to go for at this time.

[414] They're like, this is what acting is, ready?

[415] Yeah.

[416] I'm going to kick my leg and do a dance for some reason that doesn't actually connect with what my character is doing in the scene.

[417] So that's cool.

[418] The lead guy, I feel like I saw somewhere that somebody in this movie was in a soap opera at some time.

[419] Oh, that makes sense.

[420] I didn't recognize anybody.

[421] Wow.

[422] And the story, the way the murder on the Cape story is told, is very much against the victim, in my opinion.

[423] It's very much making her look like.

[424] She tricked him in, like, and then I thought, oh, I should actually look this up and see if there's somebody that was in the real case that is connected with writing this movie.

[425] Ooh.

[426] Because it's just, just median quality enough.

[427] So pretty much anyone could have written it.

[428] Fucking conspiracy theory on the cave.

[429] I mean, you never know.

[430] You have to watch it.

[431] But she, it's like she tricked him into sleeping with her.

[432] and then she tricked him into getting her pregnant and then she and then like and she was a big flirt yeah there's it's a it's a very problematic presentation so then I looked up the actual story because I'm like that story sounds familiar but it is not look familiar in murder on the cave and granted that they open it up by saying this is based on a true story but I don't think they claim it is exact okay so here's the real story and then you can hear this story process it and the horror of it, then, like, clear your palate and then go back and watch that thing as its own separate thing.

[433] Pour your glass of water on the Bible and then go watch it.

[434] Click.

[435] Turn that TV on.

[436] Okay.

[437] So this all takes place in a town called Truro, Massachusetts, which I reminded myself just, it's like you're saying churro, with a T. So it's T -T, T -R -U -R -O.

[438] I believe.

[439] Oh, whatever.

[440] That's not it.

[441] Chiro.

[442] That's not a word.

[443] The word is churro.

[444] I'm already mad at it.

[445] Okay, so it's 1997, and this is a tiny fishing village, basically, at the very top of Cape Cod.

[446] And it's busy in the summer, obviously, with vacationers, but then in the winter, it's dead.

[447] And it's really cold, except for all the fishermen and the families that live there, obviously.

[448] And a woman named Krista Worthington moved.

[449] there in 1997, she was a very successful, at the time, 40 -year -old fashion writer.

[450] She's written for L, Harper's, Women's Wear Daily, The New York Times.

[451] She's also co -authored books on fashion.

[452] She's a successful writer, and she had been writing internationally.

[453] She'd been doing stuff in Europe and basically living a very high -stress, kind of high -fashioned lifestyle.

[454] Yeah.

[455] And so she wanted to get away from that and go up to the Cape.

[456] So her family, she came from a very prominent family, and her family owned a lot of different houses and places in Truro.

[457] When she moved there, she moved into a pink bungalow that was right next to the harbor master's shack.

[458] And a couple months later, she moved out of that and into a larger house that her family owned, a really beautiful cottage.

[459] Sign me up.

[460] Yeah.

[461] It's, I mean, looking at these places in it, there's a 48 hours that, one of the main ones I watched is a 40 hours, eight hours all about it.

[462] And they just keep showing clips of like a ship just kind of going around, like, along the coastline and like, you know, an icebreaker.

[463] It's just like awesome looking.

[464] However, two weeks tell you're bored out of your fucking mind.

[465] I mean, 20 bucks.

[466] You know, you got to have your Netflix.

[467] sure got maybe like some crossword puzzles you know Wi -Fi is spotty out there yeah that's true that would make you nuts right you'd get you'd be getting on that Jitney back into town a couple of bunch of times there are jitney from messages I've never heard that word before so I couldn't tell you jitney is a word I learned from my New York friends they jump onto it to take it's like a little bus that drives strictly to like the Hamptons or something oh from Manhattan or some like summer it's the summertime Jitney you go out to the beach.

[468] Okay.

[469] All right.

[470] So on January 6th, 2002, 20 to 5 in the afternoon, a guy named Tim Arnold, who is, um, Krista Winnington's neighbor on the other side of the woods, um, drops by her house, uh, to return a flashlight.

[471] And inside he finds her dead body.

[472] She's been stabbed.

[473] On the left side of the chest, and she's on the kitchen floor.

[474] Her two -year -old daughter, Ava, is there next to her, clutching her.

[475] Two years old.

[476] So, yeah, she's been with the body for a while.

[477] Tim grabs up at Ava and runs out, calls 911.

[478] Police come.

[479] They find that Chris has been stabbed through the chest.

[480] The knife missed her heart.

[481] it pierced her lung and she bled out on the kitchen floor.

[482] Oh my God.

[483] This murder is the first murder that Truro has seen in 30 years.

[484] So like nothing happens in this tiny town anyway and like nothing like this.

[485] So of course everyone's freaking out and you know they later on the defense lawyer will claim that the EMTs were sloppy and and compromise the crime scene.

[486] They did throw a blanket over Christa's body when they got there to cover her up.

[487] She'd been raped and luckily the police did find DNA on her body that they ended up sending to the lab.

[488] So they knew that there was somebody else's DNA on the body and that could be a good lead.

[489] Unfortunately, the lab was insanely backed up.

[490] It was 1997.

[491] So this was like, you know, so they start talking to the people in Christa's life.

[492] They talk to Tim Arnold, the neighbor.

[493] They find out he wasn't just her neighbor.

[494] He was also her ex -boyfriend.

[495] They dated for about a year.

[496] He says he has nothing to do with her death.

[497] Then in talking to her friends, they find out that Ava's father is a married man who was born and raised in Truro.

[498] And his name is Tony Jacket.

[499] What the fuck?

[500] Why don't we keep getting these names?

[501] Jesus.

[502] Now, it does have two T's, but, I mean, that's right on par with Jimmy Buttons in terms of a noun name.

[503] Buttons, Jacket, there's an onion.

[504] I mean, it just is, if this was writing, it would be lazy, but it's not.

[505] It's just how it happens.

[506] So it turns out Tony Jacket, he's lived in Truro all his life.

[507] I'm only getting to call him Tony Jacket the whole time.

[508] Of course.

[509] And he has six kids.

[510] He's married, but, um, and this.

[511] is in the 48 hours and by his own account, he saw Krista when she moved into that pink bungalow right by the harbor master shack because he was working there as the fishing warden.

[512] In the 48 hours, he calls himself the fishing warden.

[513] An article I found on ABCNews .com referred to him, and I'm not joking, as the shellfish constable.

[514] What the fuck?

[515] No, I don't know if that writer for ABCNews .com was bored and just being funny.

[516] Or just reading cartoons.

[517] It sounds like a cartoon.

[518] Or pitching an idea for SpongeBob Square Pants episode.

[519] Yes.

[520] Where the shellfish constable rolls into town.

[521] You had the same thought if that's a cartoon name.

[522] It totally is.

[523] In the movie, the Netflix film Murder on the Cape, the character that plays Tony Jacket's character is very ashamed to be the shellfish constable.

[524] And he was, I think, a contractor.

[525] he couldn't get work and so this was his way of like because they were they're you know having financial the family was having financial problems he had six kids Jesus seriously so he had to you know take the job anyway as he's working as a shellfish constable he sees Krista this beautiful very you know very fashionable very you know all the pictures of her she's just a gorgeous woman and um he's immediately they immediately hit it off and are attracted to each other and she's like this high society he's his like gruff smell but kind of hot local probably yes he's very um he looks like he should have been like a third string character in the sopranos he has like big lips and squinty eyes and like combed back hair very kind of like mombo italiano i can't explain it got it and i'm not against it i'll say that um not judge like get yours get your sea constable or whatever you're your shellfish constable Italian piece D. Okay.

[526] she, when they first get together, Krista tells Tony she can't have kids.

[527] She's been told she can't have kids.

[528] They have their affair for a year.

[529] They end up breaking up.

[530] In the film Murder on the Cape, they make it look like she won't leave him alone and is like always trying to be in his business and finding him at the grocery store and stuff where I'm like, prove that.

[531] It seems like she had plenty of dudes in her life and it wasn't like desperate for this one.

[532] And she needs fucking romaine lettuce.

[533] Where else is she going to go?

[534] And it's a tiny, truly tiny town.

[535] Right.

[536] Like I run into my fucking ex at the grocery store and this is fucking Los Angeles.

[537] For real.

[538] Maybe he's talking me. I actually don't run into my ex.

[539] I have never run into anyone I didn't want to run into in this town.

[540] I swear.

[541] And I, why I have to knock on wood now.

[542] Knock on wood.

[543] Why would I ever say that out loud?

[544] I don't know.

[545] I just want like open the nightmare door basically.

[546] Ooh, next week's going to be fun when we talk about who you run into.

[547] Yeah.

[548] Oh, I better start wearing so much mascara.

[549] All the makeup.

[550] Constant, constant makeup.

[551] It'll be so different.

[552] Okay.

[553] Basically, she comes to him and says, I'm pregnant, and it's your baby.

[554] And he's like, you told me you couldn't have babies.

[555] And then she's like, well, it's a miracle.

[556] And that's why I'm keeping it.

[557] I don't care what you say.

[558] And you don't need to be a part of it.

[559] Yeah.

[560] and he said in the 48 hours he was like I was dumbfounded and he kind of thought she tricked him but she goes on and has her life and starts to raise her bait her daughter eva herself but at some point she asked Tony not only to pay child support but she wants him to tell his wife that he has a daughter so Tony actually ends up Tony Jacket ends up telling his wife of like how many years of six kids and years that he had an affair and now he has this daughter.

[561] Jackets.

[562] The jackets.

[563] The jackets.

[564] Come off.

[565] The jackets had to come off that night.

[566] So basically his wife, Susan, of course, is very upset at first and live it at him.

[567] But then basically they all, she ends up meeting Krista.

[568] And Krista comes over for dinner and brings the baby.

[569] Oh, no. And they start to make it.

[570] work.

[571] Susan.

[572] Susan herself tells the story in the 48 hours.

[573] Women are the best people.

[574] Women are just like, this is a kid that is not going to like have her life be bad because of because of fucking jackets over here.

[575] Because of Captain Jacket.

[576] I fucking married.

[577] Oh man. So, so and she says she actually liked her.

[578] Um, and basically.

[579] Amazing.

[580] I know.

[581] But, but also Susan provides Tony's alibi.

[582] He was home with her the night of Christa's death.

[583] Okay.

[584] So the police are like, it's all a little weird.

[585] Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[586] But then they also discover Christa was having issues with her 72 -year -old father.

[587] They were, you know, as I said, like this prominent family.

[588] And apparently, the 72 -year -old father now had a 29 -year -old girlfriend.

[589] Her name was Elizabeth Porter.

[590] She had been a second.

[591] worker and she had been a heroin addict and now she had gotten her life together and she was dating the love of her life 72 year old dad you're embarrassing me and Krista was like you are spending too much money on this woman and then they cut in the 48 hours they fucking do a hard cut to this woman Elizabeth Porter walking down like a courtroom thing and she goes y 'all like to take pictures of me don't you and she has like this insane cigarette voice and she's just yelling at all the cameras at once.

[592] Oh my God.

[593] Not handling her shit at all.

[594] So he wasn't like, no, I've met this classy dame.

[595] And listen, I'm not talking shit on her being a sex worker or a heroin addict.

[596] Date a sex worker and heroin addict, but a 29 year old and a 72 year old don't belong together.

[597] I mean, you don't know any of the same references.

[598] No. You don't use any of the same emojis.

[599] No, or hair products.

[600] Or gifts?

[601] Or anything.

[602] Or you don't listen to the same podcast.

[603] I mean, overall, the rule is don't date someone younger than your children.

[604] Yes.

[605] I'm mad at the dad for being a fucking creepazoid.

[606] But, I mean, I know a lot of people that have had that happen where they're like, and now my stepmom's younger than me. That's just like an obvious, no. I know.

[607] I shouldn't say a lot of people.

[608] I know one person.

[609] That'd be great if you knew a lot of people.

[610] I know.

[611] I wouldn't be so impressed.

[612] These are the tiny ways I constantly lie.

[613] It just comes out as a lot of people and I'm like, just the one.

[614] But you're not hurting anyone because I'm like, cool.

[615] tell me but so that was actually they were like well this this could actually be if she because she was complaining over her father and basically saying stop spending money cut her off so then and you know so it does become and it sounded like it was this thing where this is almost like a vacation town it's the elite the people with the money in the town and then the people who make the town go right and they all kind of hate each other I mean you it could it all could get real, you know, who knows?

[616] Yeah.

[617] As versus them.

[618] So the police are just like, it can be anybody.

[619] So they're thinking dad's girlfriend hired someone to kill her, maybe?

[620] Or they're just looking at that girlfriend, that she doesn't have the best background, and she would have reason to get rid of her to be like, yeah, I want to keep my money source open.

[621] Oh, God, my dad is poor because otherwise.

[622] It does solve a lot of problems.

[623] Yeah.

[624] No one's going to date.

[625] No 29 -year -old's going to date unless they're in love with him.

[626] and they have my fucking blessing.

[627] And that's nice.

[628] That would be nice.

[629] But I'm happy.

[630] Marty!

[631] Okay.

[632] Marty!

[633] So, um, they good, the police, there's so much going on now and there's so many suspects.

[634] The police go to the FBI to get help and to get a profile drawn up.

[635] The profile that the FBI gives them doesn't help them.

[636] It does, they don't have anybody that matches it.

[637] Um, finally a year after, um, Chris's murder, lab results come back.

[638] and they find out the DNA that they found on her body doesn't match any of these suspects.

[639] So none of these ex -boyfriends, nobody.

[640] And they're like, what the fuck?

[641] So they have to start all over again.

[642] So what they decide to do is ask for the DNA of every man who lives in true.

[643] Holy shit.

[644] And there's a reporter in this 40 hours who was like the reporter from day one.

[645] It was told his whole story.

[646] Yeah.

[647] And he was like, well, then that was just crazy.

[648] And then it just, you clearly, they have nothing and they're just like trying to do whatever.

[649] But how many men are we talking?

[650] I don't know offhand.

[651] Sorry, I shouldn't ask that.

[652] Normally I would have lied, but I caught myself.

[653] Let's say 1500.

[654] Let's just go ahead with 15 ,000 because it's fun and it's a, it's a good number.

[655] It's a really small town.

[656] Okay.

[657] Let's say 200.

[658] Okay.

[659] Let's say between 2 and 109 ,000.

[660] Great.

[661] Okay.

[662] So two and a half years later.

[663] the DA Michael O 'Keefe announces they've gotten a matchback from the DNA and some idiot killer gave them their DNA well yes and it leads to the arrest of a suspect named Christopher McGowan he is her garbage man so police first bring him in for questioning the police say do you know Krista Worthington he says no I just know she's a stop on my on my garbage route but I've never met her and I don't know her and they say okay well we found your DNA on her body now what do you have to say and he says well actually I went to her house on Thursday which is the day that he he picks up the garbage at her house and then I went inside and we had consensual sex and then he says he went back Friday had sex with her then beat her, but his friend Jeremy Frazier was there.

[664] His friend Jeremy Frazier started beating her up, and then he left, and Jeremy Fraser is the one that stayed and killed her.

[665] What?

[666] Well, the police are like, well, that's a great story except for Jeremy Frazier, your friend, Jeremy Frazier, your good friend that you're setting up for this murder.

[667] None of his DNA is anywhere in the house, and there's no way to prove that he was ever anywhere there.

[668] Oh, my God.

[669] And so then basically, after a six -hour interrogation, he signs a waiver that's a he doesn't want a lawyer and then he confesses to the murder um so this guy does the same guy christopher mcgowan the garbage man okay so basically the prosecution that so the trial starts the prosecution tells everybody that christopher mcgowan went out uh with his friend jeremy prazier and they got drunk um and then at 1 a m he drives up to her house rapes her and kills her but Christopher McGowan's defense attorney is a guy named Bob George he claims Christa had consensual sex with McGowan on Thursday the day he picked up the garbage then he left and that her murder took place somewhere between Thursday and then when her body was found on Sunday and that his client had nothing to do with it God damn it he also suggested that Christopher McGowan and Krista Worthington could have been having a consensual affair for a while and that it was just the elitists of this town that didn't believe that a white woman who is this fancy fashion writer could be having a consensual affair with a black man who was the garbage man. He also submitted that McGowan's IQ was in the low 70s.

[670] And so that's why he waived the right for the lawyer.

[671] He didn't have, he had no chance when, he was in the police.

[672] But he basically said, but then, you know, so he's basically saying his IQ is really low.

[673] So he was tricked into all this.

[674] And he's just basically the perfect Patsy.

[675] Well, then the prosecution comes back and says he, he's smart enough to have lied to say he didn't know her.

[676] You know, there's like a lot of evasion tactics or whatever.

[677] So he clearly is not, just because he didn't score well on that IQ test doesn't mean that he isn't tricky and doing whatever he wants.

[678] The defense also alleges that the crime scene was totally contaminated by sloppy EMTs because those EMTs came in and put a blanket on Chris's body when they first saw her.

[679] And so the DNA, who knows whose DNA was on that blanket, whatever.

[680] They kind of just keep introducing reasons to doubt.

[681] So Krista had a ex -boyfriend who lived in Manhattan, who was in this 48 hours, who's says if Krista was having an affair with the garbage man because he had visited her two weeks before her murder and he said that would have been the first thing she said when I walked in the door because she would have loved that story.

[682] She would have been very proud of it.

[683] If she was having some kind of like, you know, it's not May December, but it's like the wrong side of the tracks affair.

[684] She was the kind of person I would love to talk about that.

[685] Totally.

[686] So up until two weeks before her murder, that was not happening.

[687] Right.

[688] So he basically kind of, it was interesting when he talked about that, where it's like, you can totally see that.

[689] Yeah.

[690] Basically, the trial goes, on November 16th, 2006, he's found guilty.

[691] Christopher McGowan has found guilty of first degree murder, murder with extreme atrocity, aggravated rape, and aggravated armed burglary.

[692] And after the verdict is read, Christopher McGowan makes a statement to the court where he says, quote, I never meant for this to ever take place.

[693] And then after he says that, he claims to still be innocent.

[694] Wow.

[695] Which is a really weird way to say it if you're innocent.

[696] He is serving three concurrent life terms in prison without the possibility of parole.

[697] So after all of that, the verdict comes down.

[698] In January of 2008, several jurors came forward and claimed that there was a racial bias in the jury room during the deliberations.

[699] So all 12 jurors got called back to court by that judge and they all were questioned over those claims and their testimony revealed that there was racial tension in the jury room so because of that christopher mcgowan's lawyer used that information as grounds to file an um emotion for a retrial but that was struck down as have all three appeals that mcgowan's defense attorneys have filed on his behalf since he got sentenced.

[700] And then in 2012, the defense attorney Bob George was convicted of money laundering, and he himself served three years in prison.

[701] What?

[702] Yes.

[703] So the very much, I mean, I don't know, there's a lot of things that get introduced in this case in this 48 hours that this, that defense attorney Bob George he actually did a really good job of introducing all these possible doubts into this case but at the end of the day it's DNA yeah and his was the only DNA on her body and she was raped and murdered and she was raped and murdered which would have meant there would have been someone else's DNA there right yeah yeah and it's funny because that 48 hours is kind of old and they, it's interesting how it feels like they keep pointing to this idea that she, quote, had a lot of boyfriends.

[704] That, that seemed to be at play in the way people kind of, like, judged this.

[705] Yeah.

[706] Bad and, like, she had an affair with a married man where it's like, yeah, she was not to be trusted somehow.

[707] Yeah.

[708] Yeah, or there was, I don't know.

[709] It's, it's, it's, I didn't like, I didn't like it.

[710] And the movie did that too?

[711] The movie was crazy.

[712] The movie was all.

[713] about fucking Tony Jackets the will the character that was representing him and like how tough his life was and how these all these women were making his life really tough and there's a poor fucking baby you have to see you have to see it it's pretty amazing and there's also the casting is fucking fascinating the woman who plays Tony Jacket's wife a couple times I was like is that Bridget Everett you know the comic because it looked like her and it was this kind of like everything had a it was right on the verge of of being campy and then it would just come back every time to boring.

[714] When they made the movie, did they know who the killer was and then they showed that's what happened?

[715] Yes.

[716] Although I'm pretty sure I fell asleep before the end of the movie.

[717] Because how can you victim blame throughout a movie and then it turns out it's just some fucking other guy.

[718] Psycho murderer.

[719] Yes.

[720] You know what I mean?

[721] Which has, it wouldn't matter if she was let's say, promiscuous or not.

[722] I'm not saying she was but it wouldn't fucking matter it doesn't matter anyway yeah it's like that thing that happened happened yeah that's the case that needs to get sold um i mean it's crazy yeah i think at the end of this thing it's they they leave it super vague like maybe he didn't right but it's like no he did yeah but i i recommend everyone go because it's this bizarre crossroads of it's almost like every bad reenactment you've ever seen if all the reinactors had lines Jesus whereas like you know what play with this scene and figure out what happened with you guys i want to see susan jackets gets her groove back where she leaves her fucking cheating husband goes to an island is it susan and it's susan jackets it is now susan jacket how that's fucked up it's crazy um but the little girl the good news is yeah the little girl um went to live with the person that that um christa worthington chose to be her oh good to be the guardian which is a good friend of hers but Tony Jackets and Susan have visited her and now she's like in college oh good and she's doing great honey yeah fly you're a bird fly I don't know spread your wings you know that's my words of encouragement I bet that'll work spread your wings you know spread your wings and stuff wow crazy I'm meaning It's almost like a good thing that your ankle got twisted.

[723] I'll let me go ahead and say.

[724] It's almost a good thing that I watch TV 24 hours a day.

[725] Finally something good came out of it.

[726] All right.

[727] My murder.

[728] Okay.

[729] So, you know I'm obsessed with fucking infectious diseases and plagues and flu epidemics.

[730] Uh -oh.

[731] You know I love all this shit, right?

[732] Sure.

[733] That's my passion.

[734] Mm -hmm.

[735] Illness?

[736] Uh -huh.

[737] Like, end of days.

[738] shit.

[739] Great.

[740] Level stuff.

[741] Okay.

[742] And right now, the flu, right now in mid -January, 2018, the flu is already an epidemic this year, which is fun.

[743] I just got a shot.

[744] Did you get a flu shot?

[745] Oh, good.

[746] I think it's irritated and I'm going to die.

[747] But anyways.

[748] Well, at least you won't have the flu when you die.

[749] Exactly.

[750] So on that note, because it's so fun, I thought I would do, uh, you know, our good friend, uh, typhoid Mary.

[751] Nice.

[752] Here we go.

[753] In the summer of 1906 on Long Island's Oyster Bay, have you been there?

[754] I haven't.

[755] I think they take one of those little trains.

[756] A jitney.

[757] A jitney to get there.

[758] Right?

[759] I don't know.

[760] 1906 did jitney?

[761] Did they have cars?

[762] It was made of strong.

[763] I don't know.

[764] Maybe a horse jitney.

[765] Um, so Long Island's Oyster Bay is the towny playground of New York's rich and famous.

[766] Teddy fucking Roosevelt, none other than had his summer white house there.

[767] Oh.

[768] It's all fucking rich people.

[769] Sure.

[770] Um, and everyone freaks the fuck out when in a span of just one week, six of the 11 people in the home of wealthy banker also, he's the banker to the Vanderbilt's even.

[771] Charles Warren's household comes down with typhoid fever while they are there on vacation.

[772] Typhoid is a bacterial infection Let me tell you about it Due to Salmanilla typhi And it's viewed back then As a disease of the crowded slums and tenements Which we love to talk about In New York It's associated with poverty The lack of basic sanitation Immigrants assume to live in disease Ridden crowded housing Our scapegoats of typhoid So when a rich fucking family gets it It's bananas is typhoid is one of the 20th century's most terrifying killers because an infection could spread through a house before anyone knew what was going on.

[773] The first week, the infection seems almost, you know, like just a regular flu.

[774] Then there's the fever or some abdominal cramping, but nothing really crazy to show that it's typhoid.

[775] Then during the second week, fever goes crazy.

[776] The patient becomes delirious.

[777] Blood clots form under the skin.

[778] The entire abdomen becomes distended.

[779] the third week inflammation of the fucking brain and intestinal hemorrhaging, and the death rate of those infected is anywhere between 1 in 10 and 3 in 10.

[780] So it's really easily spread by eating or drinking food or water contaminated with the feces of infected persons.

[781] So think about that in the 1900, the early 1900s.

[782] You know, when they didn't like wash their hands and stuff and like water wasn't you know cleaned and shit and they all lived in like houses and stuff that were all you know yeah what that I mean that was back still when people would get up and just pee in a bowl under the bed right right just like slosh it back under probably throw it out the window sure where let's is that when they threw stuff out the window throw the baby out with probably I bet it I bet they did let's say yes but I like the idea that people would do it in rich houses it's they didn't so that's the thing okay like they didn't So it was really weird that this typhoid was an outbreak in a rich house.

[783] So people were, that's why on Oyster Bay, they were like, this is a fucking, something's wrong.

[784] Not here, not in my family, not in my backyard.

[785] Right.

[786] Not in the Tony playground of the rich and famous.

[787] Hell no. In 1900, it killed 35 ,000 Americans.

[788] There's no cure.

[789] Antibiotics didn't exist.

[790] And a vaccine was not yet available.

[791] Horrifying.

[792] So scary.

[793] So Charles Warren's landlord was freaking out that the family outbreak would prevent him from leasing his summer house again.

[794] He thought they were burn it to the fucking ground because of typhoid.

[795] So he was like, fuck the shit.

[796] He hires freelance sanitary engineer, George Soper.

[797] A freelance sanitary engineer.

[798] Dr. George Soper, which is like, you sound fun at parties.

[799] You sound like you have a made -up job.

[800] It's called a janitor.

[801] No, no. He's like, he investigates sources of typhoid fever outbreaks to determine the cause.

[802] Like, he's the dude who.

[803] House?

[804] Dr. House?

[805] He's like, come over to my house.

[806] Figure out what happened here.

[807] Okay.

[808] Like, why is everyone sick?

[809] He's the dude who figured it out.

[810] Like, what was his name again?

[811] George Soper, Dr. George Soper.

[812] Okay.

[813] So he's like, he's like, what's his name?

[814] The detective.

[815] Columbo?

[816] Sherlock Holmes.

[817] Can you edit that?

[818] you can leave that part in he's like the colombo sherlock homes of diseases okay okay of i was going to say diarrhea die what stop it we don't use that word no please do use that word so everything so sober tests everything he's like super excited about gross stuff apparently he tests the house plumbing local shellfish company everything comes up negative for typhoid but then he looks into the cook who had worked for the Warrens weeks before the outbreak and discovered that a female Irish cook who fit the description of a cook who had worked in other households where typhoid had broke out, broke out, no, broken out on the pass, that she had worked there right before everyone fell ill of typhoid and had also just cooked for the warrens.

[819] So I don't know why you'd hire an Irish cook.

[820] We can't fucking cook.

[821] It's all pot roast and like red potatoes.

[822] Yeah, but I think that back then they liked the simplicity of it all.

[823] Oh, man, such a bummer.

[824] I mean, Irish.

[825] That sounds fucking amazing to me. That's all I want is pot roast and red potatoes.

[826] Are you serious?

[827] With some horseradish.

[828] Yes.

[829] What about jello with fruit cocktail floating inside of it?

[830] Fruit cocktail, yes.

[831] Yeah.

[832] And then, of course, my grandma's special.

[833] What did she put on it?

[834] Thousand Island dressing.

[835] Yes.

[836] Okay, a hard stop.

[837] That's a, uh, and iceberg lettuce.

[838] That's Irish cooking, my friends.

[839] Do you know what I want?

[840] I want iceberg lettuce with Thousand Island and I want Jello with fruit cocktail.

[841] I don't want them to meet each other.

[842] Well, sorry, my grandma says you have to.

[843] And that's my job to make it happen.

[844] And you have to finish it.

[845] You do.

[846] I mean, fair enough.

[847] She forces to eat spinach as tiny babies and very few of us have ever broken a bone.

[848] Spinach.

[849] But you fucking twist her ankle all the goddamn time.

[850] I roll it.

[851] But it don't.

[852] break.

[853] Grandma.

[854] He was, okay, so he can't find her because she left after the, after every outbreak begins, she fucking later's out of there and doesn't give affording a dress.

[855] Soper learns of an active outbreak in a penthouse on Park Avenue where two of the household servants were hospitalized and the young daughter of the family had died of typhoid.

[856] Oh, no. And she just, and he discovers, Soper discovers, that the family cook was the same woman who had cooked for the other families.

[857] It's 40 -year -old Irish immigrant, Mary Malin.

[858] Oh, Mary, wash her hands, Mary.

[859] There we go.

[860] What are you doing, Mary?

[861] And what does she say?

[862] And she says, ah, I just need to start the soup with my hand real quick.

[863] I can't do it.

[864] No, you're going to do it this whole fucking story.

[865] We need it.

[866] Okay.

[867] Soper starts stalking Mary Mallon and tells her, and he tells her she's transmitting disease and death by her job.

[868] But he sounds very bad at like telling people things and explaining in a calm, like, you know, self -possessed manner to an Irish immigrant, probably because he had some prejudices against Irish people.

[869] So do you think he was, like, too nervous to tell her or he was, like, screaming at her?

[870] I think he was screaming in her face, this thing of, you know, transmitting disease and death.

[871] And she's this, like, Irish immigrant's like, what are you talking about?

[872] Ah.

[873] Ah.

[874] So he didn't explain to her how she, as a woman who was perfectly healthy, could be infecting others with typhoid.

[875] He attempted to get, and then, and then he goes on to attempt to get samples of Mary's feces, urine, and blood.

[876] I think just by yelling in her face that he needs samples of her feces, urine and blood.

[877] Jesus, Mary and Joseph, man, get away from me. Yeah.

[878] Not surprisingly, this just pissed Mary off.

[879] And one time she chased him away with a large kitchen fork when he tried to come get her feces.

[880] Get out of here.

[881] I don't know.

[882] That's my Irish.

[883] Get out of here.

[884] Get out of the kitchen now?

[885] You always have to start way high and then go down really low.

[886] Okay.

[887] Since Mary refused to give samples, he decided to compile a five -year history of her employment.

[888] He found that of the eight families that had hired Mary Mallon as a cook, members of seven of those families claimed to have contracted typhoid fever, even though Mary had never shown signs of the ailment.

[889] And with this, Soper becomes the first author to describe a healthy carrier of salvinella typhi in the United States.

[890] so the person who can carry it never get ill by it, but pass it on to other people.

[891] So she's basically immune to this thing she has.

[892] But she has it and is giving it to everybody else.

[893] And part of her argument is like, well, I'm fucking fine.

[894] It can't be me giving it to anyone.

[895] Right.

[896] So.

[897] Also, and let me use my whole arm as a stirring spoon.

[898] And I just want to stir this fucking stew.

[899] I just want to touch the bottom of the pan.

[900] Right.

[901] With my fingernail.

[902] Let me put this under my fingernails and put it into the stew.

[903] What's the big deal?

[904] What is the problem?

[905] My fingernail ladle.

[906] Right, without washing my hands.

[907] Okay, let me tell you about Mary.

[908] Mary Malon was born in September of 1869 in Cooks County, Cookston, County Tyrone, Cookston, let's call it.

[909] A small village in the north of Ireland that was among one of Ireland's poorest areas.

[910] She immigrated to the United States in 1883 at the age of 15.

[911] Her aunt and uncle who she had been living with died, so she was living in swallor, swallel.

[912] housing in the lower east side fending for herself she found work uh as a domestic servant and apparently her proclensity in the kitchen led her to be a cook so she was somehow good for what in the kitchen i don't know i copied and pasted a word that i never used proclensity propensity clensity clensity that's a word i don't think of it shit hold on i refuse i copied and pasted it Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no. It sounded so good, and I was going to...

[913] It kind of was like a combination of propensity and declension, but I'm almost positive.

[914] Glenn...

[915] Your search proclensity did not match any search.

[916] Her propensity.

[917] Is that right?

[918] Well, I'm never copying and pasting from Wikipedia again.

[919] The grammar's odd.

[920] So it's not, there's no...

[921] Yeah, there's no...

[922] It's propensity.

[923] Or that's the, like, the correction, the correct...

[924] Oh, yeah, and maybe they just...

[925] The correct word is propensity.

[926] Fuck.

[927] All right.

[928] I'm not adding that out because this is who I am.

[929] Look.

[930] I'm going to fucking show sometimes.

[931] We get words wrong.

[932] It's okay.

[933] My proclenston in the kitchen.

[934] It sounds like proclinston sounds like for men who are losing their hair.

[935] Like a shampoo.

[936] Take mint proclinston every night.

[937] Right.

[938] Okay.

[939] In 1900, she worked in memorandum.

[940] Veronica, New York, heard of it?

[941] No. Where within two weeks of her employment, residents developed typhoid fever in 1991.

[942] She moved to Manhattan, were members of the family whom she worked for, developed fevers and diarrhea.

[943] That's a bummer to have the same time.

[944] Yeah, that's horrible.

[945] You don't know what's happening and you have diarrhea?

[946] Right.

[947] The laundress died there.

[948] Oh, no. His name they don't mention anywhere, which is like, listen, she's someone too.

[949] That's right.

[950] And then Mary Mellon goes on to work for a lawyer.

[951] she left after seven of the eight people and that household became ill. She fucking ladders.

[952] Why did she keep leaving though?

[953] I don't know.

[954] She thinks she's so innocent.

[955] Well, it's so, it's hard to tell because it's like, did she leave because everyone got sick and so the house stood still and they didn't need anyone?

[956] Or what did she know?

[957] Isn't that when you need help the most?

[958] That's true.

[959] Chicken soup doesn't cook itself.

[960] Yeah, that's right.

[961] Cook and soup doesn't use its own arm to stir itself.

[962] Jesus Christ.

[963] Okay.

[964] Chicken soup can't stir itself, though.

[965] an arm and it can't walk upstairs exactly so okay so then in 1906 she goes to oyster bay and within two weeks 10 of the 11 family members are hospitalized with typhoid changes job again same thing happens clicks for the Warren same thing happens blah bitty blah okay doctors theorized that mary melon likely passed typhoid germs by failing to vigorously scrub her hands before handling food.

[966] Usually the elevated temperatures of cooking food would have killed all the germs and bacteria and shit.

[967] But then they found out that Mary Malins' like most popular dish.

[968] Her specialty?

[969] Her specialty was ice cream that she cut up raw peaches into and froze.

[970] So nothing had gotten cooked.

[971] Can you imagine those wet fucking peaches with her little like cutting knife and all the nail under her nail stuff?

[972] As she's cutting peaches, she's also cutting a little bit of her finger along with it.

[973] Ew!

[974] Oh, God.

[975] She had a real proclensity for cutting up her own flesh.

[976] I can't believe I got that word, Rob.

[977] Okay.

[978] The New York Health, the New York City Health Department finally, they try to get her to chill the fuck out and she won't.

[979] Finally, they send physician.

[980] She won't.

[981] She's like, fuck you.

[982] to everyone.

[983] I must cook.

[984] She's like an angry, an angry woman.

[985] She had to fight for her, uh, like her life livelihood.

[986] She didn't have anybody.

[987] Nobody.

[988] It reminds, so I just started watching Aalius Grace, which you had talked about liking.

[989] And it reminds me of like, she came over on a ship in that fucking, in that nature of absolute bullshit.

[990] And she's like, fuck you.

[991] I'm working to like live my own life.

[992] I mean, it's those, the ship journey alone.

[993] so upsetting for most people coming to this country.

[994] Traumatizing.

[995] Just horrifying.

[996] And then they show up and then it's like, I hope you have a job.

[997] Yeah, good luck with that.

[998] Also, you don't wash your hands enough.

[999] Yeah, that's right.

[1000] What are you talking about?

[1001] You know what that reminds me of real quick?

[1002] Yeah.

[1003] When I lived in Scotland, there was a commercial that was on like UK TV and it was, are you a washer or a walker?

[1004] And it was just a, it was pretend camera, like hidden camera in a bathroom to see if people, walked up check their face and walked away or washed their hands and walked away.

[1005] And since that commercial, I think before that I was very like, nah, who cares one way or the other?

[1006] I know if I need to wash my hands or not.

[1007] Since that commercial, I've, oh, I wash my hands every single time no matter what.

[1008] You just can't trust doorknobs.

[1009] You just can't trust door handles.

[1010] You just should wash your hands as much as possible.

[1011] And I do.

[1012] I mean, don't go out of your fucking mind.

[1013] And I do.

[1014] But like, do your best.

[1015] Don't be a walker.

[1016] Do you know.

[1017] That's all I'm saying.

[1018] My dad, every, he won't sit down at, we'll go to lunch anywhere.

[1019] He had just gone out of his car.

[1020] He hasn't touched anything.

[1021] He won't, he's kind of has OCD though, but he'll go wash his hands before, like, every time you can't even start talking to him.

[1022] Oh, wow.

[1023] He'll go wash his hands.

[1024] I wonder if that's like if his parents were really strict about that, like before eating.

[1025] Yeah, maybe.

[1026] It's a good idea.

[1027] Every once in a while, I'll look at my hands, especially when I was wearing cheap jeans.

[1028] Oh, no. There's nothing worse than having dirty hands as a. adult at like a meal the only person like putting a food thing into your mouth and being like when was the last time I washed my hands that's my fucking thing of like and then you there's only so many times you can go well I'm strengthening my immune system right most of the time you're not you're just putting someone else's fucking urine hands in your fucking mouth and from the doorknob we'd all have much stronger immune systems if that really was right I have a bit of an OCD about washing hands well you're Marty's daughter I'm Marty's daughter I'm Marty's daughter throwing through a hard stark doesn't let her hands get 30 does not mess okay so new york city health department sends in physician sarah josephine baker to talk to mary so the singer yeah right almost that would be amazing at night she was just amazing dancer yeah yeah hands are gross that's not good baker said that by the time she was she said quote by that time she was convinced that the law was only persecuting her when she had done nothing wrong So Mary was like hardcore, fuck you.

[1029] We're like that.

[1030] Yeah.

[1031] Baker's, so this chick, Sarah Josephine Baker, her own father and brother had died of typhoid when she was young.

[1032] And so she had felt pressure to support her mother and sister financially.

[1033] So at 16 years old, she decided on a career in medicine.

[1034] Wow.

[1035] And this is like the early 1900s, ladies 1800s, this chick is a bad ass motherfucker in its own right.

[1036] And people should fucking study her, et cetera, for feminist reasons.

[1037] She's fucking awesome.

[1038] So she goes to find Mary Malin, and with her help, the New York City Health Department takes Mary into custody in 1907 and places her into forced confinement inside a bungalow on 16 -acre North Brother Island off the Bronx Shore.

[1039] So if you live in, have lived in Manhattan or been in Manhattan, you see a fucking island over there, like off the shore that you can like see.

[1040] It's almost like Alcatraz in San Francisco.

[1041] Right.

[1042] So, it's all the only thing, only companion she has and tell me if this doesn't sound amazing, she's in confinement and all she has is a fox terrier.

[1043] And you're like, living the life.

[1044] Can I please?

[1045] So wait, I think I'm in that confinement right now.

[1046] You put yourself in Mary Mallon's fucking confinement.

[1047] We're all, all Irish women are doomed to live the life of Mary Malin.

[1048] It just repeats itself.

[1049] Damn it.

[1050] Okay.

[1051] So she, it's at, so they, on this brother island was, the Riverside Hospital, which is where she's at.

[1052] It's founded in the 1850s as a smallpox hospital to treat and isolate victims of that disease.

[1053] So they just fucking put them on this tiny island outside of Manhattan.

[1054] You can see Manhattan and you're like, oh, Mountain, I want that.

[1055] And they're like, no, you're sick.

[1056] Too bad.

[1057] It eventually expands to other quarantinable diseases like leprosy and venereal diseases.

[1058] So they just like later people onto that island.

[1059] Did they really?

[1060] Yeah.

[1061] So you get some disease and then you have to go stay here until you're oh in the same room with all the other people with venereal diseases yeah that sounds like a party i mean those are the people the party yeah um a lot of great personalities in that room i bet i mean i'm sure okay with her force confinement mary malon everyone the media goes fucking nuts because this woman has been spreading this disease and killing people with it so media goes nuts eventually in 1908 in the journal of American Medical Association.

[1062] She is nicknamed Typhoid Mary.

[1063] That's where she gets her name.

[1064] So the professionals really came in to shit on her.

[1065] Yeah, they were doing top -notch journalism.

[1066] Good job, everybody.

[1067] So it turns out Mary Malon is immune to the disease herself.

[1068] She's the first person in the United States identified as an asymptomatic carrier of the pathogen, which is pretty fucking cool.

[1069] While in custody, Mary Malin, typhoid Mary, let's call her, admits to poor hygiene.

[1070] She's like, yeah, what up it, motherfuckers?

[1071] Say it in my Irish.

[1072] I can't say.

[1073] That was all you just say.

[1074] Who cares?

[1075] Jesus, Mary and Joseph, there's other things to worry about.

[1076] Exactly.

[1077] There's people starving in my country.

[1078] She said she did not understand the purpose of hand washing because she did not pose a risk.

[1079] Girl, you're the cook.

[1080] You're the cook.

[1081] You pose a risk it doesn't matter how healthy you are they authorities are like let's get rid of your gallbladder because that's where they believe the typhoid bacteria resided in and she was like fuck no fuck you i don't even have the disease and she was unwilling to cease working as a cook too so like well let you go just don't work as a cook and she's like nope i know won't wash my hands go fuck yourself fight fight fight fight fight totally fight we're so angry it doesn't make sense irish women irish women and fight, fight, fight, and then a herky.

[1082] Herky!

[1083] Herky!

[1084] She is forced to give 163 samples of various bodily substances to the doctors there, 120 of which tested positive for the bacteria.

[1085] She was teeming with this disease.

[1086] To the hilt.

[1087] To the gills.

[1088] To the gills.

[1089] So Mary stays there for three years until test results from a private laboratory.

[1090] Yes, I said that.

[1091] came up negative for typhoid.

[1092] And with this information in 1909, Mary sues the health department for her freedom.

[1093] But everyone's like, where did she get the money to sue the health department?

[1094] And then it's like a secret thing that maybe William Randolph Hearst was like, well, I gave me the money if you give me like an interview.

[1095] So like he was like springing people.

[1096] Genius.

[1097] Yeah, so smart.

[1098] But the New York Supreme Court's like, go fuck yourself.

[1099] No. But then in 1910, there's a new health commissioner.

[1100] He lets her go if she promises never to, work as a cook again and she's like okay great she's like fine i didn't like that much anyway yeah um so in february of 1910 uh mary agreed that she was quote prepared to change her occupation and would give assurance by affidavit that she would upon her release take such hygienic precautions as would protect those with whom she came in contact from infection meaning wash her fucking hands i'll wash my fucking hands no i just i felt like i wanted to defend but there's it's an indefensible Go ahead.

[1101] Some people don't think some people think that her being locked up is indefensible.

[1102] No, she killed a ton of people because she refused to watch.

[1103] It's like she wouldn't give in anything where it's like, okay, well if you're the cook you have to admit hand washing is kind of key.

[1104] I realize that was kind of a new idea back then, but still.

[1105] Well, the thing is, so she thought they were all out to get her all this shit.

[1106] Like decades later, they're like, well, if she had typhoid her whole life, maybe it fucked her brain up a little bit and she was paranoid and crazy.

[1107] Ooh.

[1108] But wait, it gets worse.

[1109] Okay.

[1110] So they let her out.

[1111] They lose track of her.

[1112] Bad idea.

[1113] Cut to five years later.

[1114] In 1915, a typhoid outbreak happens at Manhattan's Sloan Maternity Hospital.

[1115] Mm -mm.

[1116] Struck 25 workers and killed two of those workers.

[1117] When Soper, our friend George Soper's back, he looks into the outbreak and he's like, that this looks fucking familiar.

[1118] Oh, no. Traces it back to the cook, who's an Irish woman named Mary Brown this time.

[1119] She changed her name.

[1120] She found a good man. Nope.

[1121] She changed her name so she could become a cook.

[1122] Like, she was doing it.

[1123] Now she's responsible for it.

[1124] Now she's being a dick.

[1125] You know what I mean?

[1126] Yeah.

[1127] Now it's criminal, I think.

[1128] It's Mary Mallon.

[1129] But, blah, blah.

[1130] Turns out, she changed her name, and during her years of release, she had cooked in hotels, restaurants, and institutions.

[1131] So she was like, she'd gotten a, they'd given her a job as a laundress.

[1132] You make no fucking money and it's really hard work.

[1133] Doesn't smell good.

[1134] Doesn't smell good.

[1135] She was like, fuck this shit and went to cook.

[1136] Wherever she worked, there were outbreaks of typhoid.

[1137] However, she changed jobs so frequently.

[1138] So she had eluded the blame.

[1139] She's captured and again can find a North Brother Island where she continued to refuse to acknowledge that she had any connection between, uh, herself and the typhoid cases.

[1140] Well, at that point, it's so.

[1141] stacked up against her that she might as well just do that because she's so guilty that the second she breaks it's over yeah exactly so after the second the second apprehension she spends the next 23 years of her life as a prisoner in forest isolation uh hundreds if not thousands of asymptomatic carriers who had been identified were allowed to walk the streets of new york freely but typhoid mary lived alone in exile partly due because the public were fucking pissed her because she wouldn't stay out of the kitchen.

[1142] Like if she had just not gone back to cooking.

[1143] Yes.

[1144] That second time around.

[1145] Exactly.

[1146] She, I mean, I didn't, it's sad that she lived in isolation.

[1147] But you, why are you being so stubborn?

[1148] Yeah.

[1149] Calm down.

[1150] Karen.

[1151] Uh -oh.

[1152] Oh, Karen's having family.

[1153] Then you just, my face just starts to fall apart.

[1154] I don't want to do it.

[1155] It just comes out of me. Your typhoid tears just start running out of your face.

[1156] This is the devil inside me. He'd be so bad.

[1157] State of the kitchen.

[1158] On November 11, 1938, Mary Malin dies of pneumonia at age 69, still in captivity.

[1159] An autopsy found evidence of live typhoid bacteria and her gallbladder.

[1160] So she could have.

[1161] Yeah, they were right.

[1162] Her bodies cremated and her ashes were buried at St. Raymond's Cemetery in the Bronx.

[1163] So Mary Malin, it's thought that she infected.

[1164] affected 51 people and three of those illnesses resulted in death.

[1165] And that's based on George Soper's, you know, looking into it.

[1166] But she used so many aliases that it's thought that the true death toll could have been way fucking higher.

[1167] Some estimated that she had made it have caused 50 fatalities, which I just saw that in a random article.

[1168] So I don't know if that's even true.

[1169] Historians say she contaminated at least 122 people and killed five, which sounds a little more likely.

[1170] So crazy, though.

[1171] Yeah.

[1172] So throughout the 20th century, typhoid fever steadily declines due to introduction of vaccinations and improvements in public sanitation and hygiene, aka wash your fucking hands.

[1173] And today, typhoid fever is considered a rare condition among developed countries rate is approximately five cases per million per year.

[1174] As for fucking Brother Island and Riverside Hospital real quick, this fucking island of disease off of Manhattan, which sounds.

[1175] Amazing, right?

[1176] It sounds amazing.

[1177] The island has been abandoned since 1963 after it was a detention, it was last a detention facility for juvenile drug offenders in 1963.

[1178] How badly do you wish you could go and just sit on the wall and, like, stare at the people and there are, you know, there's some blacklight posters in that building.

[1179] You know, there's some people out there who have stories of like.

[1180] They were like, because, you know, my mom working in the mental, she worked at a hospital called Langley Porter in San Francisco.

[1181] It's up on the hill, kind of.

[1182] and people in the 60s used to send their kids they got caught smoking pot one time they sent their kids to the mental hospital So she said there were in the like mental late 60s All these kids there was like an influx of kids They were like they're incorrigible and their drug addicts Where they had only done like smoked one joint or whatever We're saying no to things exactly But they were housed with people who are legitimately in need of mental mental health issues.

[1183] And I'm sure those kids were like, well, I'm never doing anything bad again.

[1184] Yes.

[1185] The shit that they saw like, yeah.

[1186] Or they were like, I don't know.

[1187] She just said it was really sad and bummed her out a lot.

[1188] It's clearly complicated.

[1189] Yeah.

[1190] So these kids got sent there in 1963.

[1191] Finally it closed.

[1192] It's now uninhabited and designated as a bird sanctuary.

[1193] But wait, it's illegal for anyone to go on the island without permission from the city.

[1194] All the buildings, though, still.

[1195] fucking stand and these photographers sometimes go on there and take photos and you can see a bunch of the photos.

[1196] We should put them up on Instagram of these gorgeous like brick buildings that are falling in a disrepair and you can see the rooms where Mary Malin was fucking housed and you can see the typhoid of a wing and you can see the fucking crematorium and it's like it's insanely gorgeous.

[1197] I am asking any murderino who works for the city of Manhattan to please let me and Karen come see the fucking island.

[1198] Come and get a disease.

[1199] of our own for ourselves and since it's like under you know under watch and you it's really hard to get on there everything is still there so like people haven't graffitied and people haven't stolen shit from the island that's amazing it's you need to see the photos it everything is covered in wildlife it's gorgeous oh i want to see that it's amazing um it sounds like the island they threatened to send or that they promised to send dr lector to in silence of lambs that ends up to be that they were like fake sees when she recites that thing you are allowed to walk on the beach every day whatever can you read i want to read that it's so good do it again and you will be allowed one you will be allowed one walk one day a year well you can walk freely on the beach with armed guards or whatever snipers i don't know if my heart and she didn't know it was fake either i know my friend my friend Amy who you met when we were in Wisconsin she has silence lambs memorized I've watched it with her and she'll just say the line real quick before it's my favorite thing in the world I love it you will be allowed to walk she'd be able to do that speech right off the dome it's so good I love oh these domes um okay it's illegal blah buty blah but you can still see the building the room where typhoid mary spent the last 23 years of her life what was she doing there oh man she was bummed but it's out it's just like there's varying accounts where it's like some say she was like actually helping out there and like a maid and some say that she was just like in seclusion and they abandoned her and used her as like a look at typhoid mary you know when people would come to the island yeah that kind of thing so you don't really know I hope there was a fox terrier I hope so yeah and then uh I also want to mention there's a podcast If you're into this shit, like I am, there's a podcast that's kind of new.

[1200] It's hosted by these two young ladies who are grad students in disease ecology.

[1201] It's called This Podcast Will Kill You.

[1202] And it's just about infectious diseases from history.

[1203] And every episode is that.

[1204] And these two girls, they're both named Aaron, are like, it's just an awesome podcast.

[1205] This podcast will kill you.

[1206] This podcast will kill you.

[1207] I love it.

[1208] I like to imagine that Typhoid Mary sat.

[1209] in seclusion in her room on that island and fantasized of all the different things she'd like to put her hand in.

[1210] So she'd be like corn chowder or whatever and then just like mashed potatoes and then both hands.

[1211] The fantasy is just like both bare arms go all the way in.

[1212] And then like she cleans her fingernails in the chowder.

[1213] Yes.

[1214] I wonder if she like requested like cooking magazines and like red recipes and was like stick your arm completely in.

[1215] She'd be like this looks good.

[1216] but you know it needs my arm my arm my fingernail clippings and it's not funny people it's disgusting it's terrible but isn't that amazing it's incredible also the idea this did you watch the nick when it was on yeah and they have uh there's an episode involving her i watched the little the little um scene where they they and yes where they confront her yeah yeah it's that was such a good show and they did that.

[1217] Everyone was so good.

[1218] She was great.

[1219] But they did that where they would take those things out of history and be like, this is what, where you don't have any sense.

[1220] Like things before modern medicine and modern stuff, it's just the weirdest idea.

[1221] Yeah.

[1222] Would they be like somebody coming in?

[1223] They'd be like, well, we tried to stick a tube in their arm and then they died like the end.

[1224] It's just, it was so crazy precarious.

[1225] The Nick is such a great show.

[1226] I love that show.

[1227] Yeah.

[1228] If you're into that kind of thing, you should definitely watch it.

[1229] was great.

[1230] Also, if you've ever taken cocaine to the point where it was a problem for you, I warn trigger warning.

[1231] Huge cocaine trigger warning for the Nick.

[1232] Opium, too.

[1233] You're like, I can be a doctor and do Coke all the time.

[1234] No. Maybe you're in an opium dense, too.

[1235] Trigger warning.

[1236] So if you love to lay back with a bunch of people dressed in a traditional Chinese garb.

[1237] Yeah.

[1238] Then this will be hard for you to get through.

[1239] It's going to make you nuts.

[1240] But if you love surgery without gloves or anesthesia, you.

[1241] This is a show for you.

[1242] What a show.

[1243] Or Clive Owen.

[1244] Right.

[1245] That was great.

[1246] Thank you.

[1247] That was fun.

[1248] I love to learn.

[1249] I love teaching.

[1250] No. I love saying words wrong.

[1251] I love teaching.

[1252] I love to learn.

[1253] I love to lie.

[1254] I love to make up new words.

[1255] I love to just have fun with it.

[1256] Just say shit that, you know, don't have any proclensity for caring.

[1257] I mean, I have a real proclensity to just say what I want.

[1258] And I think we all do.

[1259] There's a freedom in that.

[1260] In these preclusities, we all have.

[1261] In this preclentious time, there's a freedom.

[1262] It's so, the funniest thing about typhoid Murray is she, she had a real problem with preclentzliness.

[1263] Shit.

[1264] No, I love it.

[1265] It was a fucking valiant effort.

[1266] I tried, but you could see me, you can see me making that U -turn for miles away.

[1267] Would you have made that attempt two years ago before this podcast?

[1268] Absolutely.

[1269] No, not at all.

[1270] And so I applaud you.

[1271] A real bias against puns, as you know.

[1272] And so I applaud you.

[1273] And, no, I think it's the effect that you have on my life.

[1274] I'm making you stupider.

[1275] You're breaking down those pun walls.

[1276] I am stupidering you.

[1277] Hard.

[1278] You know.

[1279] Real hard.

[1280] What makes you happy?

[1281] Let's see.

[1282] Falling down and snapping my ankle loudly in front of my neighbors.

[1283] Oh, no. I kind of have one.

[1284] Yeah, go ahead.

[1285] Okay, the thing that makes me happy this week is this book that I'm listening to.

[1286] Thank you, Audible.

[1287] It's sci -fi fantasy, and it's one of those books that makes me, that someone thought of this narrative and thought of this, like, you know, idea makes me happy that humans, that certain humans exist, you know?

[1288] It's, like, so fucking joyous that, like, people can think of these things and write these books, and it's gorgeous, and I love it.

[1289] It's called the, it's called Children of Time by, Adrian Chikovsky and it's sci -fi fantasy the book is really fun to listen to it's fucking weird as shit it's like post -human space stuff with there's spiders I've never in my life thought I would ever have sympathy to spiders but I do it's like such a good book and it's making me really happy to exist wow that's great like they're like a hit checkers guide to the galaxy you know like that that's the last book that's done that for me which has made me like so happy that Douglas Adams existed and I get to live here.

[1290] Because it's like big theories and thoughts and feelings.

[1291] I'm like, wow, someone thought of that.

[1292] Our brains are bigger than, you know, in these percensish times.

[1293] Where everything feels kind of perclusive.

[1294] And I know I'm not going to write that fucking book.

[1295] So I appreciate that Adrian Tchaikovsky has.

[1296] Yeah.

[1297] So that's really sat down and compounded it out.

[1298] Yeah.

[1299] So that's making me happy.

[1300] Agreed.

[1301] Agreed.

[1302] What's yours?

[1303] Okay.

[1304] Okay, mine is, this was a tweet that I received two days ago, you did too, from a woman named Molly on.

[1305] Hold on.

[1306] Oh, sorry, haunted train.

[1307] That's so fucking loud.

[1308] Boot -hoo.

[1309] It's me Cherenek on Twitter.

[1310] And she wrote to us and said, don't be alarmed if there's a body down there, in quotes.

[1311] And then the headline of the article that she sent it to set up.

[1312] Santa says, sinkhole reveals hidden room below family's garage.

[1313] That's right.

[1314] And then there is a picture of shelving that they can see through the hole.

[1315] And on the shelf, there's toys, but it's also all dark and creepy.

[1316] And it's like this article, so it happened in Idaho Falls, Idaho.

[1317] This family, apparently when they, like, there's like an inch of cement.

[1318] Yeah.

[1319] And then the sinkhole happened.

[1320] And basically there had been a hidden room underneath their house, and it's in a place where they're normally not sellers.

[1321] Right.

[1322] So they're like, they think it's possible that could have been like a bomb shelter, but probably not.

[1323] Yeah.

[1324] And a bunch of stuff that's down there has been down there for like 40 or 50 years.

[1325] Is that how, I couldn't find how long it was.

[1326] It's like 40 or 50 years.

[1327] I don't think that they were like letters and shit.

[1328] Yes.

[1329] But they.

[1330] That's the crazy.

[1331] Let me see if I can get a year.

[1332] I love it.

[1333] The home was built in the 50s, and it was built as a basement home.

[1334] Then someone came in the 70s and remodeled it and added the second story.

[1335] So I bet in the 70s, someone put it down there.

[1336] Yeah.

[1337] But they say it's definitely not a bomb shelter, and that it's sketchy.

[1338] And the insurance provider and the engineer are the ones that said, don't be alarmed if you find a body down there.

[1339] That's amazing.

[1340] um don't be alarmed if you find a body because they're basically going down there and looking through it it's it's just like that picture of the old kind of water moldy letters and stuff it's just the creepiest story of all times so i'm very as i think you know but i'm not sure if everybody knows but i'm obsessed with sinkholes sinkholes are truly my passion anytime they Like, I was, I was never more livid.

[1341] Remember the sinkhole that came up off of Laurel Canyon?

[1342] I was up in Petaluma.

[1343] I was last year.

[1344] And I saw it on the news and I was livid.

[1345] Because you couldn't go meet it in person.

[1346] Couldn't go on meet and greet?

[1347] I would have walked right down there.

[1348] I would have paid top dollar for that meet and greet.

[1349] And I'm like, hi, where did you come from?

[1350] What's your deal?

[1351] What's happening down there?

[1352] Is it a, are you a hidden river?

[1353] Oh.

[1354] Or are you something entirely different?

[1355] That's amazing.

[1356] Yeah.

[1357] Sink hole and.

[1358] hidden room come on my favorite sinkhole that's amazing this is a double z's for you it's a sinkhole and a hidden room and because the best part about usually sinkholes fill back up with water because that's why they're there in the first place is like the water table got too close blah -de -blah look at you well it's made up but um but it's a water involved you know that's why it's erosion but it's underneath okay anyhow there's no water in this in that seller it's like they can go down and look into it i know it's not like it got flooded immediately or filled a silt no i want to go i want to go down there let's go it's like an amusement park let's go idaho is not that far away um thanks for listening everyone yeah that was a fun one that was there's all kinds of crazy shit in that one take it run with it do your thing do your thing do a fucking herky at the end of it do a herkey i'm if it's it's please if you you're going to correct me on the herky positioning don't do it uh you have to be a professional cheerleader that's i'll only take emails from professional cheerleaders and you have to send a video of you doing a hirk we need the correct hirk and then we'll play the audio of the visual of the video then you're going and breaking your back harkie herky thanks for listening friends stay sexy and don't get murdered goodbye bye elvis you want a cookie one cookie Oh, a little one.