Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend XX
[0] This special episode of Summer Smores is presented by Solo Stove.
[1] Solo Stove is uniquely designed to burn off smoke before it ever escapes the top of the fire pit.
[2] Trust us, once you've sat around at smoke with fire, you'll never want to go back.
[3] Go check them out at Solostove .com.
[4] Use promo code Conan to get $10 off your new pit.
[5] Summer Smoors with Conan and the Chill Chums, a six -part series with Conan O 'Brien, Sonomovsessian, and Matt Gourley.
[6] Let's get started.
[7] Hello, there, fans.
[8] Welcome.
[9] I said that with such bitterness.
[10] Hello, there, fans.
[11] Welcome to Summer Smoors, another installment of Summer Smoors.
[12] And I say, I think I said fans because, I think this is one for the real hardcore fans.
[13] Yeah.
[14] Because I'm not trying to shoe anyone else away.
[15] I invite you to experience this, but this is kind of something special we do around this time of year.
[16] And it's taken on a life of its own.
[17] Matt, refresh my memory.
[18] How did this all get started, in your opinion?
[19] Well, the first year of this podcast, we did a special summer series with Dana Carvey called Deep Dive with Dana Carvey.
[20] Then the next year, at this point, we had already had an argument about smores, and Conan and I were absolutely correct in that they're an overrated dessert.
[21] And so you did your best to defend an indefensible situation.
[22] Yeah, that smores were something people actually liked.
[23] Two dry shingles with some tasteless goo jammed in between taste as goo is marshmallow and chocolate two of the greatest desserts.
[24] Usually a very inferior grade of chocolate but anyway that's okay we did a summer series where we debated that right and then and that took off and guess what the overwhelming consensus online was that we were correct no you don't you don't check online what are you doing I went online earlier today isn't that that abacus yes you don't read stuff about the show it's not like you're looking at comments I've got my finger on the pulse He has people for that.
[25] I have people for that.
[26] I have three AI bots that tell me what's going on.
[27] You don't know what to do with AI bots.
[28] They also make my scrambled eggs in the morning.
[29] Oh, wait, that's my servant, Worcestershire.
[30] Matt, and then because we called it summer smores, we decided let's do one.
[31] Because we were debating summer smores so much, we decided let's do one in your backyard.
[32] Field testing.
[33] Field testing.
[34] Yeah.
[35] So we took a year off for the pandemic, then we did.
[36] that.
[37] We took a year off from the pandemic.
[38] Well, you took a year off.
[39] I did my best to create a cure.
[40] I worked very hard with various scientists.
[41] It turns out I'm not a medical professional.
[42] Right.
[43] We could have told you that.
[44] Everybody could have told you that.
[45] I wish someone had.
[46] I went and bought a lab coat at a Halloween store and said, let me in here.
[47] I can fix this COVID.
[48] You put on your doctor voice and they still didn't think you were.
[49] Well, that's not my doctor voice.
[50] That's my newsman voice.
[51] And that was one of the problems.
[52] Can I hear you?
[53] your doctor voice for quick.
[54] I kept throwing to traffic and weather.
[55] My doctor's voice is hmm, yeah.
[56] Yeah.
[57] Hard to believe no one would trust that guy.
[58] Yes, COVID's, hmm, yes.
[59] I'll need my microscope in my various implements.
[60] So we took some time off, or you did.
[61] I worked hard to save us all.
[62] I did, I think, in my own way.
[63] And then we went into your backyard and we had a cookout and we made some smoor.
[64] so that we could really test whether or not we liked them or not.
[65] I thought, again, these were perfectly normal smores made the way most people make smores.
[66] My opinion did not change.
[67] I didn't find them to be tasty at all.
[68] What about you, man?
[69] No, if anything, it was reinforced, and it was decisive.
[70] Yeah, decisive.
[71] It was just awful.
[72] Sonia, did you like the smores we had?
[73] Loved them.
[74] I could have had 40.
[75] Right.
[76] Can I just say one thing?
[77] This disqualifies you a little bit, which is after you ate the last smore, I heard you saying, yum, yum, yum, this is good, too.
[78] when I looked over, and you were chewing on a rock that you had found at the base of an oak tree.
[79] Yeah, and you also had a bowl of our garden mulch at one point.
[80] Oh, did I?
[81] You said, this is also good.
[82] And then you said, yummy, yummy, yummy, what good pasta?
[83] You were eating a garden hose.
[84] Oh, yeah, I didn't know.
[85] You two were like food critics.
[86] You also chewed through the wall of my house.
[87] You have such advanced pallets, you too.
[88] Look at you two with your cuisines.
[89] It's a good thing.
[90] You chewed through Gourley's wall.
[91] It's a good thing he had that glue trap because.
[92] It's the best way to catch a rat It's with a glue trap Anyway I hate this so far Well listen It's going to get a lot better But then for you much worse Okay So we did that last And people seemed to really enjoy that We were really outside We loved it And then we were thinking What do this summer?
[93] Since the smores debate's been settled We didn't need to cover that anymore We didn't need to cover that anymore But let's say we wanted to move on from sports We did We did Yeah we did We did want to move on from Smoors.
[94] Very good.
[95] Sona, speech champion.
[96] Yes.
[97] And you've moved on from the English language.
[98] We moved on from enunciating.
[99] But anyway, we decided let's try something a little different this year.
[100] And the first decision we made, which I think is going to work out.
[101] We haven't done it yet.
[102] But what we're going to do is we have this very nice facility here in the Larchmont area of Los Angeles, where we do our podcasting, there's editing facilities.
[103] It's a great place to hang.
[104] Guests that come on the show where they like to be here.
[105] And we have an outdoor area that's quite lovely.
[106] And so we thought, what if we do it here outdoors at night and record it over several sessions and maybe switch it up a little bit, but try and recapture some of that magic from last summer.
[107] So what do you think, Matt?
[108] Do you think this is going to be a good idea?
[109] I think it's a great idea that the outdoor deck is just literally right outside this door.
[110] It's beautiful.
[111] When you say this door, of course, this is an audio medium.
[112] Let me tell the people he's gesturing to a door right here in the studio.
[113] I think the words this door imply that there is a door.
[114] Yeah.
[115] There are hinges and it opens and there is a knob and you walk through it and you enter another area.
[116] Are you familiar with what a door is?
[117] Oh, I'm quite familiar with what a door is.
[118] Yes, and I'll be escorting you through one in about five minutes.
[119] It goes there's a door in the studio that goes right to this very nice debt.
[120] I just said that.
[121] In this studio, yes.
[122] Can I ask, will Matt be making drinks this time?
[123] Because last year everyone got a little, well, everyone minus Conan got a little.
[124] I was, I was, I showed a lot of moderation last year.
[125] Tea totaler.
[126] Well, not a teetotaler, but I, I'm a professional.
[127] I am.
[128] I'm a professional.
[129] And last year, Matt, what did you make last year?
[130] It was amazing.
[131] Last year I made the chilled chum.
[132] Yeah, and tell us what it was.
[133] It was bourbon, pomegranate juice, ginger beer, I think maybe a little lemon.
[134] And then as you put it, pulverized mouse hearts, but they were mottled strawberries.
[135] There was little chunks of what looked like shredded mice hearts in there.
[136] But I don't care what it was.
[137] It was delicious.
[138] It was very good.
[139] Now, here's what I'm going to say.
[140] I don't go too crazy, so I took it slow.
[141] You got yourself, I would say you got yourself into a happy place, but you weren't out of control.
[142] Good and tight.
[143] Sona, I'm going to say this.
[144] You don't even have to have that much.
[145] No. And you get wasted.
[146] And I remember this from the years and years of us touring, doing shows in other cities, traveling around.
[147] If we ever hit a bar, you would have one glass of white wine.
[148] That was it.
[149] And you'd be making out with a parking meter.
[150] Okay.
[151] Making out with a parking.
[152] No, I would.
[153] I'm talking about a very good looking parking meter.
[154] Oh, okay.
[155] Then, yeah, obviously.
[156] One of those really handsome ones.
[157] Yeah.
[158] My tolerance is low.
[159] It's gotten even lower because I don't drink that often now.
[160] I partake in, you know, can a, cana, can't a buy.
[161] Ceed pot, jazz cigarettes.
[162] Weed pot.
[163] Weed pot.
[164] So your tolerance is even lower.
[165] So we just have to watch it this year.
[166] Yeah, yeah, yeah.
[167] I'm going to be much more responsible than I was last year.
[168] I can't wait.
[169] Possibly.
[170] Let's just see what happens.
[171] I will.
[172] I'm going to, I'm going to, what's the word?
[173] Moderate?
[174] You don't even know the word.
[175] I'm going to like - It's not in your dictionary.
[176] Have you done some pre -gaming?
[177] No, I wish I did.
[178] So I'm looking forward to it and we're going to hang out and I don't know what we're, we're not going to do s'mores this year.
[179] No, but we've got really big plans, A, for a drink, but more importantly, the treat this year is pizza.
[180] Oh my God.
[181] Pizza is my absolute kryptonite.
[182] And I have said this many times for my final meal because eventually we all know I'm going to be put on death row for something.
[183] Yeah.
[184] Yeah.
[185] And they're going to say, what are your final meal?
[186] And I'm always reading people's final meals.
[187] And it's always like, I want a cheeseburger and it's like, what I want is I want a really good margarita pizza made in a wood -fired oven.
[188] The prison is going to be, I'm not sure they can accommodate me. I know.
[189] That's a big thing.
[190] Well, as my assistant, as my assistant, you're going to really have to be into it with the prison system.
[191] Oh, man. But I want a wood -fired margarita pizza that's really good, and I want a very good Pinot Noir.
[192] and I think the combination of a very good pizza and some red wine is Kevin.
[193] I'll not wait for the prison guards to just laugh you to all the way to the electric chair.
[194] Pino Nauri says.
[195] This guy wanted Pita.
[196] And I'll be all the way they're dragging me to the gas chamber.
[197] I'll be saying, I guess it's not gas chamber anymore.
[198] It's a lethal injection.
[199] Yeah.
[200] This guy thinks he's being executed the four seasons, this guy.
[201] This guy over here.
[202] Now, fellows, not so rough.
[203] Father.
[204] Father, potter, we'll call and straighten everything out.
[205] Corley and I will be injecting you.
[206] You guys will be shooting at me as I'm being taken to the room where I'm leathly injected.
[207] You know how shooting gallery or shooting, what are firing squad?
[208] They give one person live rounds and everybody else has blanks so that no one has the guilt.
[209] But you and I wait like.
[210] It's the other way around.
[211] Yeah.
[212] Everyone has live rounds except for one person.
[213] Thanks, doctor.
[214] Is that true?
[215] Yes.
[216] So no one has the guilt?
[217] Yeah, that's what they do, yeah.
[218] But what I'm saying is if they gave everybody blanks and one guy a real bullet, you probably wouldn't kill the person.
[219] Okay, let me take it again.
[220] No, no, no, I like...
[221] No, no, no, we're not taking that again.
[222] You take things again all the time.
[223] Never have and never will.
[224] When your name's on the show, you get away with murder until you're sent to death row.
[225] The point is, Sonia and I will refuse blanks.
[226] We both want to know that we've got live around.
[227] Yeah, yeah.
[228] Oh, you'll know.
[229] Summer Smoor series is back.
[230] Each year we gather around a solo stove fire pit.
[231] This year, Solo Stove sent us the bonfire.
[232] It's designed to put out some serious heat without putting off that dirty S word.
[233] You know what I'm talking about?
[234] Smoke.
[235] Oh, that word.
[236] That's right.
[237] The solo stove is uniquely designed to burn off smoke before it ever escapes the top of the fire pit.
[238] Trust us.
[239] Once you've sat around, a smoke was fire, you'll never want to go back.
[240] Solo stove has multiple different colors.
[241] They're portable.
[242] So you take it with you into a back country.
[243] the beach, anywhere you want to go, it's pretty incredible.
[244] Looks good, works great.
[245] Plus, that's a lifetime warranty, which means we could do 150 seasons of this show, and it would still last.
[246] Now, people would grow tired of us, that's for sure, but the stove would keep cooking.
[247] Go check them out at Solstove .com and use promo code Conan to get $10 off your new fire pit.
[248] Anyway, I love that.
[249] I love that it's pizza, and what drink do you think you'll do this here?
[250] I want it to be a surprise.
[251] You're thinking about it?
[252] No, I'll surprise you.
[253] I've already got it figured out.
[254] I do want to say this about the pizza.
[255] My dear sister -in -law, Sarah, is doing something very special that we will see.
[256] And also, my wife is doing a substitute campfire dessert that I think blows s'mores out of the water.
[257] Okay.
[258] Yeah.
[259] I want to say that's a, I love your wife.
[260] That's a pretty low bar because I think anything blows s'mores out of the water.
[261] And I think these are probably just above s'mores.
[262] I think an army boot marinated in kerosene.
[263] blow s'mores out of the water.
[264] But that's me. I just think that you two are the most un -American people I've ever met in my entire life.
[265] Because I think that...
[266] You were born in Armenia.
[267] No, I wasn't.
[268] Oh, please.
[269] Let's see your papers.
[270] Let's see your papers.
[271] You think I'm carrying around my...
[272] I want your papers!
[273] Papers, please.
[274] Your papers, please.
[275] Oh, my God.
[276] So there are going to be no celebrities interviews with us.
[277] What?
[278] What are you talking about?
[279] Chill chums.
[280] It's just the three of us.
[281] You know, So no one's going to be here, no, like, celebrities?
[282] Well, first of all, I'd have a little bit of experience in the celebrity world.
[283] Oh.
[284] Having looked at one every time I'd check out a mirror.
[285] Oh, boo!
[286] Yay, yay.
[287] Oh, my God, cuts a huge footage.
[288] Wow, ticker tape parade.
[289] Lindberg's triumphant returned to New York.
[290] The Beatles at Shea Stadium.
[291] This is incredible.
[292] Can you cut to footage in a podcast?
[293] I don't think so.
[294] Anyway.
[295] Look at the door.
[296] The door.
[297] The door is the only way out and only one of us is getting through it.
[298] I would say having some experience discussing things with celebrities, none of them would want to show up for this.
[299] Not true.
[300] Not true.
[301] You think Jeff Goldblum wouldn't be in our hair in a heartbeat?
[302] Well, if we put a piano out, that'd be even better if he's tinkling the ivories during this, like, tinkly?
[303] Tinkly.
[304] Is that what they say?
[305] Yeah, that means urinating on a piano.
[306] Tickolene is with it.
[307] No, my plan is for Jeff Goldblum to urinate on a piano.
[308] And I bet you anything, he'll play a beautiful melody.
[309] at the stream of his urine.
[310] Okay.
[311] Terrific.
[312] Looking forward to that.
[313] Chinkling.
[314] Everybody, it's a time for me to a, it's a tinkle on the old ivories.
[315] Hmm.
[316] True.
[317] Ding, ding, ding, ding.
[318] No, we're not going to, and I don't want to create false expectation.
[319] There will be no Jeff Goldblum.
[320] There'll be no celebrities because I think the star is the magical chemistry of the solo stove campfire unit.
[321] Oh, that's right.
[322] Do we mention that?
[323] We don't have to.
[324] He was going to say something nice about.
[325] And you busted in with the...
[326] Oh, I thought he was going to brag about himself.
[327] I'm sorry.
[328] Keep going to go in.
[329] The chemistry?
[330] What?
[331] You were going to say?
[332] The chemistry between what?
[333] I think we have a good chemistry and I think we're going to get together and we're going to have some spirits and we're going to eat some delicious pizza and we're going to see what happens.
[334] And I have a feeling it's going to be a lot of fun.
[335] Yeah.
[336] I really believe that in my heart.
[337] Yeah.
[338] I do too.
[339] This is coming up on five years of this podcast too, you know.
[340] Fine.
[341] In November, I believe.
[342] Is that true?
[343] Yeah.
[344] Does it feel like five years to you?
[345] Yes.
[346] feels like 15 yeah no it doesn't feel like five yeah doesn't feel like five to you no it doesn't how many episodes have we done I don't know I think 300 and some get out 340 something yeah was it 340 I think that's with the Conan O 'Brien needs a fan episodes yeah well yeah yeah and the summer smores and the deep dives and the bonus episodes 340 I'm told six are quite good yeah that's my old joke I love it you know you are once considered sort of a newcomer to the industry, a carpetbagger, if you will.
[347] And now, five years in, I think it's safe to call you, you know, I wouldn't say a seasoned veteran, but maybe a veteran.
[348] Wow.
[349] Cool.
[350] You think there's people have been doing this a lot longer.
[351] Yeah.
[352] Jeff Pilser, Sarah McNulty.
[353] Oh.
[354] They've been doing this for a long time.
[355] Who are these people?
[356] Exactly.
[357] My point.
[358] That was a good one.
[359] You can't say that was a good one to make the joke good.
[360] Yeah, you can.
[361] So the first episode of Summer Smoors and you're drawing a breastheaded creature.
[362] What is it going on here?
[363] I don't know.
[364] I'm just drawing this creature and he's wearing a loose -fitting linen jacket.
[365] I'm still stuck on your last meal because I think that can just be any meal.
[366] And it's very anticlimactic for me. I feel like I would choose like a lot of different foods I like to.
[367] No, no, no. I just want to keep it very simple.
[368] But it's your last meal.
[369] You don't want any fried chicken.
[370] You can put on all the calories.
[371] You're going to die anyway.
[372] Everyone always asks for fried chicken.
[373] But I don't want to go to the execution room feeling like that heavy feeling you get.
[374] You're going to die.
[375] Who cares?
[376] You're not going to feel good anyway.
[377] You'll be so scared that your body will be in turmoil.
[378] Do you think you could even eat if you're knowing you're going to die?
[379] Oh, I will have such a good meal.
[380] So, such a good meal.
[381] And also, we'll make sure you get smores.
[382] Sonas going to do.
[383] No, no smores, Eduardo.
[384] Oh, man, I'm going to give you smore.
[385] I'm going to be like, they didn't have any pizzas to hear some smores.
[386] We're going to roast smores over your crackling electric chairbodies.
[387] You won't have to kill me. They'll be like, he's dead.
[388] We didn't throw the switch yet.
[389] I know, he just died.
[390] What would your last meal be, Sona?
[391] It's going to be a lot of things.
[392] It's going to be like an in and out cheeseburger.
[393] It's going to be fried chicken.
[394] It's going to be lots of, like, a chocolate fountain with things I could dip into it.
[395] It's just going to be like a lot of stuff that makes me happen.
[396] It's clear also that you're stretching out.
[397] They're going to say it's your last meal and you're going to stretch it out so that it's days long.
[398] Yeah.
[399] And then eventually the governor calls because the state can't afford the meal anymore and he offers, he commutes your sentence just because what?
[400] You know, a statue of Sona made out of paté is on the way.
[401] We can't afford that.
[402] Yeah.
[403] All right, commuter sentence.
[404] Give her three months and then release her on good behavior.
[405] That's my plan.
[406] I just want a lot of food from a lot of places that I like.
[407] You know, I want my mom to make me those lamb chops.
[408] Those are really good.
[409] I don't know.
[410] What would you do?
[411] I'd do a bean and cheese burrito from Supermex.
[412] I'd do chocolate -covered honeycomb from Little Flower, bourbon, craft macaroni and cheese, fruity pebbles.
[413] This sounds very much like someone trying to get free stuff.
[414] I know it does.
[415] I'd eat a Porsche 9 -11.
[416] Carrera, the latest model.
[417] Forrest, you're killing it.
[418] And my address is 3 -2 -3 -2.
[419] Saloy -Laginthi Boulevard.
[420] I love to snack on a DeWalt table saw, portable table saw, a round mitersaw with a telescoping arm.
[421] Those are tasty.
[422] A Rivian electric truck.
[423] That'd be great to get a lot of plugs in for your last meal.
[424] Well, I'm looking forward to this.
[425] I think it's going to be great.
[426] Me too.
[427] And this will be how many installs?
[428] moments, do you think?
[429] We're going to do six.
[430] So this will be the first.
[431] We're going to do four outside, and then we're going to do a kind of debrief final episode back in the studio after we're all done.
[432] Yeah, we're going to talk about how we behaved.
[433] So the next time people tune into this, they're going to hear us, let me set the table for you.
[434] We will be outside here in the Larchmont area, sort of mid -Hollywood, beautiful view of the Hollywood sign, second floor of the wonderful team cocoa complex here and we'll be cooking up some pizzas you'll be making a special drink sono will not be showing any restraint okay that's just my guess and we're going to have an incredible time we are and we're going to really let our guard down you're going to I guess who knows what's going to happen who knows we might rekindle our friendship in a sort of romantic way did we unkindle it I don't know that we ever kindled it oh okay it was never kindled in my first place.
[435] It wasn't even kindled?
[436] No. I think you guys are my friend.
[437] Well, I'm your friend for sure.
[438] Yeah.
[439] And I want to be your friend.
[440] Why the hostility, Gourley?
[441] It's not hostility.
[442] I've shown you nothing but kindness.
[443] And by kindness, I mean employment.
[444] I'm sitting here just just waiting to be your friend.
[445] I've always been kind to you.
[446] In this case, kindness is a substitute word for employment.
[447] Financial exchange is taking place.
[448] You know what?
[449] I'll take it.
[450] All right.
[451] I'll see you guys next.
[452] week on really I consider this just as just the warm up next week's the really big the real beginning of summer smores 2003 so join us won't you summer smores with conan o 'brien sonam of sessian and matt goarly produced by me matt goarly executive produced by adam sacks nick leow and jeff ross at team cocoa and Colin Anderson and cody fisher at earwolf theme song by the white stripes incidental music by jimmy vivino take it away jim me. Our supervising producer is Aaron Blair, and our associate talent producer is Jennifer Samples.
[453] Engineering by Eduardo Perez.
[454] Additional production support by Mars Melnick.
[455] Talent booking by Paula Davis, Gina Battista, and Britt Con. You can rate and review this show on Apple Podcasts, and you might find your review read on a future episode.
[456] Got a question for Conan?
[457] Call the Team Coco hotline at 323 -151 -2821 and leave a message.
[458] It too could be featured on a future episode.
[459] And if you haven't already, please subscribe to Conan O 'Brien needs a friend on Apple Podcasts, Stitcher, or wherever fine podcasts are downloaded.