150 - How Dare You Kelli

[0] This is exactly right.

[1] Hey, this is exciting.

[2] An all -new season of only murders in the building is coming to Hulu on August 27th.

[3] Steve Martin, Martin Short, and Selena Gomez are back as your favorite podcaster, detectives.

[4] But there's a mystery hanging over everyone.

[5] Who killed Saz?

[6] And were they really after Charles?

[7] Why would someone want to kill Charles?

[8] This season, murder hits close to home.

[9] With a threat against one of their own, the stakes are higher than ever.

[10] Plus, the gang is going to Hollywood to turn their podcast into a major movie.

[11] Amid the glitz and glamour of Los Angeles, more mysteries and twists arise.

[12] Who knows what will happen once the cameras start to roll?

[13] Get ready for the stariest season yet with Merrill Streep, Zach Alfinacus, Eugene Levy, Eva Longoria, Melissa McCarthy, DeVine, Joy Randolph, Molly Shannon, and more.

[14] Only Martyrs in the building, premieres August 27th, streaming only on Hulu.

[15] Go, goodbye.

[16] Hello.

[17] I was going to say, and welcome.

[18] Oh, well, you got to clue me in on.

[19] you're right we should I should have written a cue card let's do it again and welcome oh that was great that's fun this is my favorite murder we're a true crime comedy podcast uh coming to you live that's right from los Angeles California what that's Karen Kilgara and that's Georgia hard stark and we've got Stephen Ray Morris on the ones and two that's right he's holding it down for us that's right we're in the pod loft again we I got some feedback that uh if we know we got to record Elvis doing of his cookie meow if we're going to be recording in the office i totally forgot about that oh was there no there was none because of the minute we didn't tack anything on yeah i just didn't think about it stephen you're fired uh that's a real twistereous sentence i didn't see the ending it started with an eye and it ended with a you mm -hmm it did uh but we are in the pod loft right now and it's a fucking lovely rainy night and LA.

[20] Oh my God.

[21] It actually is beautiful.

[22] It started raining this afternoon.

[23] And usually in LA, it starts, stops.

[24] It rains just long enough for your car to look dirtier.

[25] Right.

[26] Than it did in the morning.

[27] But not now.

[28] We're a straight, we're in straight up Portland, Oregon style rain.

[29] I love it so much.

[30] I love it except for, and I, sorry, this is the hackiest thing to go into, but people can't drive in the rain here.

[31] They're just like, they drive.

[32] They drive the, I think I realize that they drive the way they drive in the not rain.

[33] And that's, the problem.

[34] Yes.

[35] No one can adjust.

[36] Slow down, you fucking idiots.

[37] Things have, your atmosphere has changed.

[38] Look and listen.

[39] And listen to your car.

[40] At the fucking rain.

[41] You stupid.

[42] You fucking.

[43] God.

[44] It's very, this is the kind of town though where it's a town filled with people who will not adjust to reality.

[45] Right.

[46] It's part of living here is living here and being like, I'm the greatest actor ever.

[47] And it's like, okay, you better dig all the way into that.

[48] you're going to need to hold on to it for 28 years.

[49] I was the prettiest girl at my high school.

[50] And I still am.

[51] Single tier, single tier.

[52] Mm -hmm.

[53] Yeah, so there's a lot of, like, driving through the rain.

[54] I'm not in the rain.

[55] I'm not in the rain.

[56] I'm the prettiest girl from my high school.

[57] I'm like, all right, all right.

[58] Get out of here, Kelly.

[59] Kelly, God damn it.

[60] How dare you, Kelly.

[61] Kelly, you're still pretty, but it's raining.

[62] Yeah, Kelly with an eye, quit it.

[63] Kelly, it's, you know what?

[64] You can put the eye, but we know your mother named you with a why.

[65] That's right.

[66] So do what you want.

[67] We're not buying it.

[68] But when we don't have to buy it.

[69] Or any of your acting.

[70] That's right.

[71] Guess what?

[72] What?

[73] Just act like you talk normally.

[74] Try to convince people that you're not acting.

[75] That's the, you know what?

[76] Is that acting?

[77] That's the acting class that I'm in its charge $1 ,000 a week for.

[78] Just talk.

[79] Talk normal.

[80] And then you're like, there, you're acting.

[81] There.

[82] I say you're acting.

[83] What is it about getting in front of a camera that makes you, including me, I'm not an actor, insane.

[84] Well, you know, it brings out all your insecurity where it's like the second you're there, you're like, oh, I shouldn't be here.

[85] I mean, I'm the worst.

[86] I am, anybody that gives me a part, I'm the worst.

[87] I immediately forget all my lines and all my brain will say is, I shouldn't be here.

[88] I'm a fraud.

[89] They're going to figure me out.

[90] I'm not good enough.

[91] And can you see this strange hatchet?

[92] like mine in my forehead and is that what you're really focusing on mine is don't do that with your mouth don't do that thing with your mouth you do this weird thing with your mouth stop doing that thing with your mouth what do you do with your mouth uh i just i have this i don't know my mouth is just complicated because i you know what i do when i'm nervous i hold my lips together like i'm just trying to keep my mouth shut which is so symbolic that's really what if i'm truly nervous it's i'm holding my lips together like don't lips go on camera Don't say it.

[93] She's trying not to have an outburst.

[94] Okay.

[95] So it's like, it looks like I'm like, but really I'm just like, don't say anything.

[96] Please don't say anything now.

[97] Don't say something stupid.

[98] I've been begging my mouth not to say something stupid all my life.

[99] It won't listen.

[100] I've been trying to look normal and not like a weird person my whole life.

[101] So I used to have to go to speech therapy because I would sit there when I was a kid.

[102] I like, I have my lips parted all the time.

[103] And so I'd have to be reminded to close my lips.

[104] And sometimes my tongue would just kind of hang.

[105] Oh, that Instagram dog?

[106] Like this?

[107] Like the, I sent you a photo of me with a cello.

[108] And it was like that face.

[109] So I've been reminding myself not to fucking do that, Georgia.

[110] That's just a lack of self -consciousness, though.

[111] That's what kids are like, where you're just kind of like hanging out.

[112] Yeah.

[113] You don't, you aren't aware of yourself.

[114] And then suddenly a teacher's like, you got you, you got to not do that anymore.

[115] go to speech therapy it's really embarrassing we're going to stop you in class once a week and make you go see fucking speech therapist but so that was just kind of like keep your tongue where you're supposed to keep it yeah but I also have a lisp so I think try to change that that didn't go away that's fine this is not either near nor here either near nor there I'm trying to think of what I yeah mine was always just just be please be quiet please be quiet your speech there.

[116] He goes, shut the fuck.

[117] Seriously.

[118] No one needs to hear it.

[119] And then I'd be like, stop it.

[120] I don't want to be saying it either.

[121] You're not the teacher.

[122] I understand.

[123] I don't want to be talking.

[124] It's my mouth that's doing it.

[125] It's not me. And what I realized much, much later, like when I was in my late 30s, is that was anxiety.

[126] That was social anxiety.

[127] And the way I dealt with it, I never knew that that's what it was.

[128] I thought, I have the worst personality.

[129] I better start drinking.

[130] That'll make me quiet.

[131] Yeah.

[132] And it worked.

[133] It worked for so many years Only because you don't remember what you said And it made more scent Yeah, Alpers Or whatever That was great when she did it Hey speaking of merch There she is Merchandise Jones That's right If you go to my favoritemerder .com There's our store We have holiday items You have to order by December 14th What's today's date?

[134] It'll be the sixth mark today you can get your Christmas and Hanukkah and holiday shit now some of that stuff sold out it's they have it back in stock and I just want to say to all of the Jews you guys I'm so proud of us Lechheim I'm so proud of us we sold the fucking Hanukkah shirt out yeah the Lehiam bitches of course I didn't know I just like was like I just we need to throw it up there and then it was the best idea you're very merch savvy but then also it was the kind of thing of like yeah you don't you you should get some fun it's like ugly christmas sweat and then it's like and how about just a sassy Passover sweater well it reminds me it reminds me of you know as as a Georgia uh you'd go as a kid you'd go to the souvenir store and there wouldn't be a license a tiny license plate with my name on it and they're what you know like I never had that stuff it's the same thing with being Jewish is you there's never Hanukkah stuff right always Christmas stuff and except for the one time that urban outfiters did that remember they did that like I love being a Jew but they put like money symbols around no they didn't or they have like kiss me I'm Irish and there was like a Jewish one too and they had a pull it because it was like Stars of Davids and like and like tradles and shit but there were also money symbols I swear to God I will have Stephen fucking posted on the Instagram Jesus Christ Stephen posts photos from the episode on the Instagram they had a pull it you stupid fucking idiots Jesus we'll see that's that you know it's that's so i realized we're serving a need that doesn't exist yeah that's right you know well and it's i think probably most jewish people have just gotten used to it's like don't want that because it isn't there so then finally you're like hey but it is how about it is there and then it's like what yes i'm really proud of us it's great as a people yeah is it this everyone loves a jewish girl yes they had a whole line of everyone loves an Irish girl everyone loves a whatever the fuck girl oh my god right is that a purse oh that's a dreidel sorry dradles I didn't realize dreidels had the thing on the top that it's like a spinning it's like a top that's for the spinny part okay so they have the dradle upside down because the spinning they do well right that's why I thought it was a purse I thought that was the handle no this does look like a purse that's not a dreidel so it's purses and money There's literally money symbols on this.

[135] It's so crazy.

[136] That looks like a dice with a handle.

[137] That's not a dreidel.

[138] Now, as everyone loves an Irish girl, it's that's surrounded by beers and potatoes and fucking cellulite.

[139] And what was on ours?

[140] Yeah, it's just a coldness, yelling.

[141] It's hard to draw that shit.

[142] Yeah, they had to recall that shirt, which I think is pretty fucking fabulous.

[143] Yeah, because now it's all just heart.

[144] They changed it to all hearts.

[145] Yeah, like, you can leave the Jewish stars, dude.

[146] It's so.

[147] There aren't even Jewish stars, though.

[148] As a poor Jew, I was also offended by that, too.

[149] As a Jewish girl who grew up poor, it's like, that's not, it's a stereotype.

[150] Right.

[151] Well, but as a Jewish girl that grew up poor, why don't you admit that you wanted money?

[152] Who the fuck doesn't want money?

[153] I wish I was a rich Jew.

[154] Well, that's a...

[155] Da -da -da -da -da -da -da -da -da -da.

[156] I was a rich Jew.

[157] I mean, but here's, that's the other thing, too, is who doesn't want money?

[158] Any, Lithuanians want money.

[159] Any, that's a nationality as opposed to a religion, but.

[160] Speaking of, um, anyway, buy our merch because there's, they're very little.

[161] My favorite murder .com, there's a store.

[162] Have fun with it.

[163] There's also a ton of other shit.

[164] I've been wearing the fuck out of my, fuck you, I'm married sweatpants.

[165] Yeah, you have.

[166] And I realized it's not fair.

[167] we should get fuck you I'm divorced for you because it's the same thing I'd rather not why because I think it's perfect well the fuck you I married came out of a joke yes so I don't need it's not I can wear whatever I want because I'm married exactly you can wear whatever we want because you're fucking divorced yeah but see that's not a funny joke because that's tragic where it's like fuck you I'm divorced and in a deep depression and I've been wearing sweats for seven years okay it's too real get it we have to if we're if we're going to do divorced merch it's going to we have to do something where it's lighter and it doesn't feel yeah okay like but see then we're just going into the i'm 50 area right it's just like celebrate yeah mommy culture whatever the fuck mommy culture yeah that's basically it's been covered by like it's wine o 'clock that's basically your divorce merch right i want to i'm alone and in my addiction join me has that's good merch right yeah And then a little lighthouse.

[168] Oh, yeah.

[169] I love that.

[170] Okay, let's do it.

[171] How about something along the lines of like, hey, leave me alone.

[172] I'm isolating.

[173] There is a shirt that says, sorry I'm late, I didn't want to come.

[174] Yeah.

[175] And every time I see it, I think of you so much that I just want to get you.

[176] You might as well.

[177] I know.

[178] But I don't need the shirt.

[179] because it'll come right out of my mouth.

[180] Hey, I hate being here, so I'm going to go ahead and go.

[181] I saw a cartoon.

[182] Oh, my God, I figure out who was by, uh, that said, there's two girls walking into a party and one girl's going, I can't wait to leave this party later.

[183] I'm so excited to leave this party.

[184] Yeah.

[185] Oh, God.

[186] Hold on one second.

[187] Let me. I actually know who that person is.

[188] Oh, who is it?

[189] I went to UCSB with them.

[190] It's, uh, my friend Hillary Campbell.

[191] Cartoons.

[192] And what's her Instagram?

[193] Cartoons by Hillary.

[194] That's nice.

[195] I love that.

[196] She went to the, I think she went to the New York show.

[197] Yeah, she's good.

[198] I love.

[199] Oh, that's so cool.

[200] I can't wait to leave this party later.

[201] So excited to leave this party later.

[202] That's, God damn it.

[203] That's my lie.

[204] I'm sure I'm misquoting it.

[205] Um, on a, can I, I have a thing real quick.

[206] On a down or note?

[207] No, it's actually a pot.

[208] I mean, it's positive.

[209] So last week I, at the end of the show, talked about my incredible therapist, Kim, who passed away sevenly and unexpectedly.

[210] And then I, this fucking podcast, man, like the levels of amazement that happens, that has happened and has been happening for the past three.

[211] fucking years.

[212] Yeah.

[213] It is insane.

[214] I get an email.

[215] It's from a family member of hers who was like I was listening to the podcast and I had a fucking pull over because I, the minute you said Kim, I realized you're talking about my family.

[216] I don't want to out.

[217] Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[218] My family member and it meant so much to us.

[219] She played it for Kim's parents who said thank you for, you know, because I wasn't able to tell Kim how much she meant to me, but her parents don't know.

[220] Wow, that's amazing.

[221] Yeah.

[222] Yeah.

[223] And it's just this, it's such a huge, this podcast, like the connections it's making with other people getting together with us and other people.

[224] It's just incredible.

[225] And it just, I didn't think that would happen.

[226] And it, you know, it wouldn't have happened without this podcast.

[227] And it just kind of, it gave me this little, little light of, you know, hope in this kind of depression.

[228] Yeah, because it matters, you know, it matters.

[229] And expressing how you feel about people and how people matter to you.

[230] and that people, that you value people, it's super important to express that.

[231] And I guess we're getting this weird version of it where it's like, oh my God, someone heard it and cared.

[232] Yeah, yeah.

[233] But it's in your day -to -day life.

[234] You might as well just do it.

[235] It's an important thing to do because you may feel like, oh, this makes me so vulnerable or I'm at this risk or whatever.

[236] But if you can figure out a way to express how you feel to people real time while they're aware of it, they might really need it.

[237] It could really matter.

[238] it's a good idea.

[239] And also it's just like, it's a good practice to, to practice kind of being brave about just going like, well, that's just how I feel.

[240] Well, it's vulnerability.

[241] That's the key with, you know, of course, please read Brene Brown's daring greatly as I don't think Karen and I would, this wouldn't exist without her.

[242] No, it wouldn't.

[243] Yeah, this podcast, we wouldn't be friends without her, I feel like, because we bonded over the fact that we were both in the middle of it and the thing was be vulnerable.

[244] Yes.

[245] Which is, we, which is one of our, it, I think that, responded us so fast because it was that thing of like it's so hard just to be at a party filled with people that we're all friends with and we're still so uncomfortable and it's like but let's be Georgia going okay let's go around the room and say what was it ways that we're vulnerable let's say one thing it was Thanksgiving and I said let's say one thing we're vulnerable in a room full of fucking male comedians and that's the only reason I did that is because I can't eat in silence that's like one of my old fucking eating things that's the only thing that's stuck around is I can't just quietly masticate.

[246] Yes.

[247] So it was like, okay, can we all fucking talk, please, and stop chewing?

[248] And let's all say one thing we're vulnerable about.

[249] And you were in me like, are you reading Daring greatly?

[250] Yeah, yes, I am.

[251] It was the best.

[252] And it's the kind of thing of I love stuff like that.

[253] I love really talking about stuff.

[254] And I think, let's not have small talk.

[255] Yes, let's not have small talk.

[256] Let's not riff.

[257] It's like I've been in a culture, a comedy culture for so long where sincerity was the worst thing you could do it made you it put a target on your back it made you weak it made you stupid blah blah blah and it's like and that's just so old it's very 90s mentality where it's just like actually it's very cool it's being too cool right like the less you give a shit the more cool you are which is just a mask it's so obvious now and i also think that's a part of being young but yeah that's true now that i'm middle -aged i'm just like oh yeah i don't care anymore i don't give a fuck if you think i'm cool or not I don't give a fuck if you like the music.

[258] I like, I'm not here for that anymore.

[259] I did that already.

[260] And I suffered through that already.

[261] And now I'm just kind of like, what's cool?

[262] Like, what could happen if I actually am my real self?

[263] Totally.

[264] And don't hold my lips together.

[265] And let those lips fly.

[266] I've been letting these lips fly on this podcast for three years.

[267] It's been pretty nice.

[268] It's proven your point wrong that you should keep your mouth shut.

[269] Yeah.

[270] Now we just have to teach my lips.

[271] I don't know it.

[272] Okay.

[273] Do you have anything else?

[274] I don't think so.

[275] Although I apologize because I'm not sure.

[276] I'm now at the end of my full -time job.

[277] So I'm a little out of my mind.

[278] Your other full -time job.

[279] Yeah, the other, the additional one that I chose to take on as some sort of way of proving to the world that you're not a failure.

[280] Yes, exactly.

[281] I can do things.

[282] No one believes that yet.

[283] so I still have to continue to prove I can do things.

[284] Good job.

[285] Yeah.

[286] So we believe you now.

[287] Do you?

[288] Or should I get another job?

[289] Because I was going to work Macy's Christmas shifts.

[290] You're going to be at the wrapping paper station?

[291] I would actually fucking love that.

[292] Are you got a wrapping paper wrapping gifts?

[293] Oh my God.

[294] Are you?

[295] Well, this could have been a trick of my mom's because she would go, you're so good at rapping.

[296] So smart.

[297] And then I would, I'd be like, I'm really good at rapping.

[298] And I would wrap everything.

[299] And it took me to like a year.

[300] year after she died where I was like she tricked me into wrapping everything she did and what a great trick such a good so yeah if you have children that that need encouragement you're so good at the dishes you're oh my god why are you so good at that but here's here's what that bread and this was my favorite thing I used to do this thing at my parents house I would take down all the pictures on the walls and wrap them like presents and hang them back up and that was part of our Christmas decoration that's darling especially because you don't look at your family's stupid faces anymore But that's just lovely.

[301] So it would be like instead of, because my, everything in my parents' house is like a picture of a huge fire my dad fought.

[302] That's like part of.

[303] Bought?

[304] Fought.

[305] Fought.

[306] Wow.

[307] There was a fire in like a South Market in San Francisco in the 80s, 90s where it burned down like seven blocks of this neighborhood.

[308] And he fought it and they fought it all night.

[309] And so there's a picture of him just standing in front of it.

[310] It's a panoramic.

[311] Karen, picture.

[312] How did this not, this fucked you up?

[313] How did I not know this?

[314] You had fires.

[315] Pictures of fires.

[316] Yes.

[317] That had to just give you a level of anxiety all like a con. That is, you see that that's bananas, right?

[318] It's like having a fucking huge painting of a fucking shark, like eating a person.

[319] And then being like, hey, here's a thing.

[320] Yeah, it's like, it's almost like it was just this subconscious.

[321] That's why I'm always like, let's make sure we've always.

[322] always got two exits.

[323] Yeah, clean a lint trap.

[324] Like right now, well, we could go out this window.

[325] But if there was a fire downstairs, we could get trapped up here.

[326] No, no, we could go out this window.

[327] We can go out this window.

[328] Yeah, it's a, yeah, landing.

[329] It's a walkable.

[330] Oh, honey, not honey.

[331] That sounded shitty.

[332] Honey.

[333] I'm very, I'm very aware of exits at all time and how I would get out or how people can come in them.

[334] Yes.

[335] More so probably.

[336] But not for the same reason.

[337] Right.

[338] We have a giant picture of a burglar as a kid.

[339] sneaking into the house.

[340] It was someone Janet arrested at close time.

[341] I don't think it fucked me up or anything.

[342] I think I'm fine.

[343] That's so hilarious.

[344] I've never thought of this at all.

[345] Yeah, that's like red flag.

[346] Just city.

[347] Don't expose your children to horror scenes.

[348] Look at this.

[349] A huge mural.

[350] And also it was this thing of my mother, I remember my mom telling me at a young age, and she's like, I think your father and I's the marriage lasted for so long because every time he left the house, he could have died.

[351] So every time he came back, she was so grateful.

[352] And, like, it was like, oh, yay, nothing bad happened to him.

[353] I have that, too, but only because I have bad anxiety that every time Vince leaves the house, I'm like, be careful.

[354] Like, even just when he was leading to now, I was like, wear your seatbelt.

[355] Be careful.

[356] Like, be careful.

[357] Of course.

[358] Yeah.

[359] But that is, you have to, part of that might be anxiety.

[360] And then part of it is you get to express, like, I want you to stick around.

[361] That's good.

[362] Yeah.

[363] That's a good.

[364] You guys have a healthy relationship in that way.

[365] I think so, too.

[366] I think it's nice.

[367] Our therapist thinks so too.

[368] do they oh yeah yeah it's true he does you're not being sarcastic no are okay okay I mean I'm pretty certain we're his favorite I really do and sometimes he'll say do you ever want to leave this guy I'll marry him he's not gay but he like loves Vince well Vince has that thing yeah and I know it's can be irritating because he is kind of like the homecoming king everyone loves that fucking guy I know but everyone loves me too no no no everyone loves you so we're great together but he has that thing we're like suddenly he's running the bar.

[369] He's that guy where he handles shit and he's like, who needs a drink?

[370] He's that.

[371] He's like the consummate like, he makes it so that people love him.

[372] What do you think I fucking tied that shit down as soon as possible?

[373] Yeah, you were like, first date, you're with me. It's crappening.

[374] Love it.

[375] Yeah.

[376] All right, bye you guys.

[377] Bye.

[378] What?

[379] Wow, 45 minutes of just pure, not what this podcast is about.

[380] But you know, we have an.

[381] had that much time to, like, just get into what's really going on with us.

[382] Because we were like, announce this and announce that.

[383] I was just going to announce something.

[384] And now I feel weird.

[385] Do it.

[386] Fucking one of the most downloaded podcasts of 2018 on fucking iTunes.

[387] Do you see that?

[388] Is us?

[389] Oh, oh.

[390] I'm talking.

[391] Sorry.

[392] It's Joe Rogan.

[393] Congratulations to our friend Joe Rogan.

[394] You've done great.

[395] No, no, I thought for a second I thought you meant this podcast will kill you.

[396] because oh we got to give a shout to all exactly right people real quick yes oh my god everyone's killing it yes exactly right i mean that's our podcast network uh we just came out with a bunch the this podcast will kill you has an episode about rabies that i was listening to last night that's so fucking good and they are killing they're killing it the fall line is incredible the new season is amazing about all these uh these babies that were fucking kidnapped in atlanta of course the per cast every but we got the official numbers and like the business side and everyone's like went so far beyond the what they projected yeah and everyone charted and it was such a beautiful debut thank you guys so much for listening for downloading that's the way just so you know if you want to like make that hit is when you download podcast that's that's those are the numbers that people pay attention to i didn't know that yeah also when you review when you write a little like love it five stars like that really helps too yeah so if you want to do that that's awesome and thank you all for there was so much support and you guys went to all those new episodes oh also season season one episode two of do you need to ride right you're charting the shit out of that dominating the comedy charts it's so exciting because chris and i have been so um low key like we're like should we do another episode we've been so like trying to trying to focus on it but trying to do a bunch obviously a bunch of other stuff too Chris is like on the road doing tons of performing or whatever so we're just like, should we do one?

[397] And the idea that when we finally get it together and put it out, all these people are just like, I've been waiting.

[398] God damn, you guys put these out consistently.

[399] I'm like, oh, we spent years and years thinking no one really cares and who cares.

[400] And so it's so lovely.

[401] And thank you guys so much for all of that support.

[402] That's what I thought you were talking about.

[403] I love it.

[404] No, iTunes just came out with the best of 2018 and you click on that fucking most downloaded.

[405] and we're on that with a bunch of other fucking incredible people probably Joe Rogan including definitely Joe Rogan a doctor death is on there too which is like I just have a real connection because that that podcast got under my skin in so many ways it's such a good podcast let's see if they don't need shoutouts they're all they're downloaded they're great we're all fine our friend um oh yes that's right uh stuff you should know stuff you should know I was going to say how did this get made which is another great podcast but it's stuff you should know.

[406] Chuck, of course.

[407] Chuck.

[408] You should know our friend.

[409] They did great.

[410] And PR, serial.

[411] It's all those ones.

[412] You know.

[413] So thank you.

[414] And then some of the fun ones that you're like, oh, that's so cool that we're part of that.

[415] This new Pots of America, obviously.

[416] Yeah.

[417] But then to just be on that with them.

[418] It's a huge honor.

[419] And it's, uh, it's you guys, you know.

[420] Up and vanish.

[421] It's you guys making it happen.

[422] Don't downloading that shit.

[423] So thank you.

[424] Thanks guys.

[425] And we have more.

[426] We're so excited for the new podcast that we're going to be adding to the slate.

[427] So it's like, We're going to be adding and adding.

[428] So just get ready because we've got a bunch more coming that we're so excited and that you are going to be very excited about.

[429] We promise and we're teasing you.

[430] Yeah.

[431] All right.

[432] I can't talk about it.

[433] We can't talk about it.

[434] I think you're first.

[435] Really?

[436] Yeah, right?

[437] Is it true, Stephen?

[438] 100%.

[439] Karen, you know I'm all about vintage shopping.

[440] Absolutely.

[441] And when you say vintage, you mean when you physically drive to a store and actually purchase something with cash?

[442] Exactly.

[443] Exactly.

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[457] Important note, that promo code is all lowercase.

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[459] That's Shopify .com slash murder.

[460] Goodbye.

[461] Hey, this is exciting.

[462] An all -new season of only murders in the building is coming to Hulu on August 27th.

[463] Steve Martin, Martin Short, and Selena Gomez are back as your favorite podcaster, detectives.

[464] But there's a mystery hanging over everyone.

[465] Who killed Saz?

[466] And were they really after Charles?

[467] Why would someone want to kill Charles?

[468] This season, murder hits close to home.

[469] With a threat against one of their own, the stakes are higher than ever.

[470] Plus, the gang is going to Hollywood to turn their podcast into a major movie.

[471] Amid the glitz and glamour of Los Angeles, mysteries and twists arise.

[472] Who knows what'll happen once the cameras start to roll.

[473] Get ready for the stariest season yet with Merrill Streep, Zach Alfenakis, Eugene Levy, Eva Longoria, Melissa McCarthy, DeVine, Joy Randolph, Molly Shannon, and more.

[474] Only murders in the building premieres August 27th, streaming only on Hulu.

[475] Bye.

[476] Goodbye.

[477] Luckily, so I opened my file, I actually started a file called unread murders that I have.

[478] Nice.

[479] I should have done that a long fucking time ago.

[480] Oh, my God.

[481] And it most, it's, it's a lot of them, as I said before, because there was the, um, the Todd Allen Reed that I did let, the force part killer that I did last time was a leftover from a Portland where I was like, oh, right.

[482] I got to do that.

[483] Yeah.

[484] So there, I'd been doing a couple of those where I'm like, just move that over into this area.

[485] And you'll use it later when you have seven full time jobs and you can't actually, um, do the show that, uh, you should be actually paying attention to.

[486] Right.

[487] So this is one of those.

[488] from when we were in Atlanta on tour and I had this one already but it was just kind of short and pretty basic and it's really old so there's not a ton of information.

[489] Right.

[490] But right?

[491] So today at 4 o 'clock when I was at baskets in the writer's room where we're in like serious rewrites and then I just went, oh my God, I don't know if I have a story for tonight.

[492] And then I looked that one up and then had to text even and go, have I done this all right?

[493] Yeah, I've done that multiple times.

[494] Because I was like, I was looking at, looking at the words and going, I absolutely familiar.

[495] Yeah, it's familiar.

[496] But it's because I'm the one that put it on paper.

[497] Anyway, I'm right on the edge of mental collapse.

[498] And here we go.

[499] This is the first murder to happen in the state of Georgia back in the 1700s.

[500] Shut up.

[501] And this is the story of Alice Riley.

[502] Okay.

[503] It's so old and weird and random in all these different ways that, yeah, it's so crazy.

[504] So I just tell you some things.

[505] Okay.

[506] Let's see what happens.

[507] Okay, do it.

[508] Alice Riley was born around 17, 18, in Ireland.

[509] You've been there.

[510] Yep.

[511] In 1733, she was 15 years old.

[512] This is an everyone's, everybody's trying to leave Ireland because of disease and the famine that the British actually forced.

[513] People love to talk about, oh, the potato famine when no one could grow potatoes.

[514] Huh, uh, uh, uh.

[515] They grew potatoes.

[516] They grew them.

[517] They were taken.

[518] The British came in, shipped all that food out, starved everybody out.

[519] Uh, colonization.

[520] So, um, but the only way to get out of Ireland if you didn't have money yourself, um, was you, You had your fare paid by someone who would then employ you when you got to America.

[521] Okay.

[522] Or the New World or whatever it was back in the 17th.

[523] You know.

[524] You've been there.

[525] You know.

[526] You historians know what I'm talking about.

[527] And no one else does.

[528] So a man named William Wise paid her $5.

[529] Holy shit.

[530] Boat fare.

[531] How much was it back then?

[532] $5 in today's money is the amount of a carnival cruise, $3 ,000.

[533] but without that beautiful buffet yeah there's no buffet on her boat yeah she just got to throw up under under deck no zip lining no there was no there wasn't one of those weird small but deep pools yeah have ever seen a cruise ship i've never been on a cruise ship oh girl are they horrible no no there's but but you can only have i mean i'm not talking about the zip line carnival cruises where now they're making them like cities floating cities but like the last time i was on a cruise In the pool area, the pool is like 10 feet long, but then it's like 35 feet deep.

[534] It's like, oh, we can't fit them all in here.

[535] Go down there.

[536] Just go down low.

[537] So anyway, a man named William Wise paid for her $5 boat fare, and that meant that she would be his indentured servant for seven years.

[538] What could go wrong?

[539] Right?

[540] I mean, it's like, oh, that's, okay, so I have a chance to, at least I'm leaving this place where the British are to colonize us, I'll go to America and just be an indentured servant, and that'll be great.

[541] So on the boat, she's either already traveling with her common law husband, Richard White, which is the boring and unlikely version since she was 15 and you're common law by living together for seven years.

[542] So unless she shacked up with Richard when she was eight, it seems like the better option, the more romantic and cinematic option is that she met Richard White on the boat.

[543] go with it right so she throws up over the side comes up wipes her mouth off on her shawl turns and there's this beautiful irishman standing next to her and she's like i'm going over there somebody paid my five dollars yeah i'm going to be an indentured servant he's like me too oh my god what's your guys's name he's also there to work for william no way yes so that's also an indicator that it makes more sense that they would have been a couple and then going to work for the same person but i don't like that version of the story yeah it's not as fun no anyway it's all vague and we can fill on our in the rewrite can we can we oh i have i have rewrites well let's hear one well can we go with like they were they weren't working for the same guy they were like neighbor going to be like working for neighbors because like it's too much if it's like they were working for the same guy yeah true so it's like what if the um estates are on the same wooded path and then she's walking yes she's got her bucket of berries.

[544] And then here comes, I don't know, Achille and Murphy type.

[545] Okay.

[546] And then she's just like, what's up?

[547] What's up on your estate?

[548] Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[549] Okay.

[550] And he's like, God, you look so much better off the boat.

[551] I love it.

[552] You're not barfing anymore.

[553] You're not seasick and gray -faced.

[554] Um, all right.

[555] So, uh, here's the amazing part.

[556] And this is true and real and still very cinematic.

[557] the ship that they are both on crashes into Savannah so remember when we were in in Georgia like Atlanta Savannah's right on the coast and so basically this ship where they're like oh this has been the worst and I have the worst sea sickness and then it just crashes They forget to put the brakes on and they're like Landho like everybody went to sleep I just see one of those like cartoons that are like that showed like the boat crashing you know like from the map they show the map yes and it goes along There's a sea monster.

[558] Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[559] They crash right into Savannah.

[560] Great.

[561] It's a cold winter night.

[562] Most of the passengers on board drowned.

[563] Shit.

[564] And Alice Riley and her new hot boyfriend.

[565] What's his name?

[566] Richard White.

[567] They both survive.

[568] They swim to shore and they make it.

[569] So they bond over that.

[570] Sure.

[571] And so if they weren't in love before, god damn it wouldn't you love that man absolutely that also survived because it's a good sign about his jeans anyway so they drag themselves from the wreckage they're brought to william wise's cattle farm on hutchinson island which is across from the city of savannah and uh there so william wise they meet they meet william wise okay there how's it going uh not great he's known as a scally wag In the 1700s.

[572] In the 1700s.

[573] It's anybody with his two long mutton chops.

[574] Yeah, they're like, look at that fucking scallywag.

[575] But he, this guy's a crete.

[576] Okay.

[577] So she's dreading being a maid anyway.

[578] Because she's like, oh, I'm going to be a made for seven years.

[579] Not, you know.

[580] That's like half.

[581] That's like half your fucking expected life expectancy.

[582] That's right.

[583] Back then.

[584] Yeah.

[585] She's like, well, I can get, I, okay, fine.

[586] I love to clean and poll.

[587] 22.

[588] An old maid of 22.

[589] I just met this great guy.

[590] Yeah, yeah.

[591] Okay, well, I'm going to be made for seven years.

[592] Then she finds out that she also has to attend to him by picking lice out of his matted hair.

[593] No. That's how they did it back then.

[594] They didn't have combs.

[595] They just had girls.

[596] Do you know what?

[597] I think that's above my pay grade.

[598] That's what I would say.

[599] I'm sorry.

[600] That's above my pay grade.

[601] I didn't sign up for the shit.

[602] She was the first person to ever say that.

[603] that phrase in 17, 18, 19.

[604] 100.

[605] So, uh -oh, this one's already gone way off, way off.

[606] Real fun.

[607] She also had to clean crumbs out of his long, greasy beard.

[608] No. And while fending off his lettuous advances, because there was no sexual harassment seminars back then.

[609] She just started that job and was off to the races.

[610] Oh, you may. He was abusive and cruel to Alice.

[611] and her boyfriend, Richard.

[612] I'm calling her, him, her boyfriend.

[613] So by 1734, this old guy falls ill. And that's when Allison Richard have to start bathing him daily.

[614] Right?

[615] So we go from bad to worse.

[616] But I mean, is it bad to worse?

[617] It's like, at least he's taking a bath every day.

[618] Because I bet yeah, he wasn't doing that before.

[619] Yeah.

[620] If he's got lice, that wasn't a daily fucking ritual in his life.

[621] No, exactly.

[622] We're certainly not combing his hair and putting it back into a, into like a guitar center ponytail where it's like, I'm not rocking on the stage right now.

[623] I'm here to sell some guitar strings.

[624] So I'll put it back into a clean and shiny ponytail.

[625] Right.

[626] So it doesn't get in the food.

[627] Not this guy.

[628] Look, you know how guitar center now serves food?

[629] That lovely buffet.

[630] They have that gorgeous buffet down front.

[631] So they have to wash it, bathe him.

[632] Great.

[633] Not the greatest.

[634] Um, it's uncertain whether Richard and Alice plotted the murder beforehand or if it was just a lark is that's a cut and paste if I've ever seen one.

[635] Because you normally would not use that word when it comes, that's not the word that's correct in the sentence.

[636] Nope.

[637] Um, unless I was just being weird, which is very possible.

[638] Yeah.

[639] Um, don't you?

[640] I love that you for, I forget which things I've unplagiarized and which I actually plagiarized.

[641] Oh, I guess I'll make this, I'll personalize this to myself.

[642] And it's like, well, that doesn't sound like me though.

[643] Yeah, I know.

[644] Oh, I just donated money to Wikipedia, by the way.

[645] I was like, they were like, we need money.

[646] And I was like, I owe them so much money.

[647] Someone on Twitter, sorry, I didn't write it down, just tweeted.

[648] I just donated $20 to Twitter, like, and thought of you guys.

[649] It's like, thank you so much.

[650] Sorry, they donate.

[651] Don't donate money to, listen, please do not give your money to Twitter.

[652] No, they deserve nothing.

[653] No, she's sorry.

[654] She tweeted that she donated $20 to Wikipedia.

[655] Yeah, it was nice.

[656] And she shall remain nameless.

[657] Even though I bet she doesn't want to.

[658] Thanks.

[659] Her name's Georgia.

[660] Yeah.

[661] So, okay, so on March 16th, 1734, while Richard was bathing William, he took his neckerchief and strangled the gross old man in the bathtub.

[662] That's me for sure.

[663] That's awful.

[664] Alice held his head underwater to make sure he was dead.

[665] So they're not sure, obviously, if it was pre -planned and like that or if it was just in that moment of like I can't take this anymore and he's gross and old anyway yeah um you take your neckerchief off it sounds like a spur of the moment kind of thing yeah it does and just like that what the final straw where he was like look at the bubbles I'm making or whatever he was like I hate your neckerchief and he's like oh you do do you really want to get a close up look of it do you really because you're a withered old man sitting in a thing of like not even hot water yeah this they're bathing him and there's no running water indoors.

[666] No. They have to bring the water in to Bay of the Old Creep.

[667] A bath is a four -hour ordeal back then.

[668] And there's so many liver spots that you can barely see any of the bubbles.

[669] There wasn't bubble bath.

[670] That he's farting.

[671] Oh, I thought you meant he was farting in the baths of.

[672] No. All right.

[673] Okay.

[674] You're doing great.

[675] You're almost there.

[676] I'm there.

[677] Here's my eyes.

[678] Alice Held us.

[679] I said that already.

[680] Then they fled to South Carolina.

[681] Carolina, where locals were fired up about servants killing their masters, so they all helped with the manhunt.

[682] So basically they were just like, oh, we can't have this.

[683] If you're an indentured servant, you don't get to kill anybody.

[684] Yeah.

[685] Now we get to have fun like everyone else does.

[686] Yeah, exactly.

[687] You don't have any rights, much less you don't get to exact justice on anybody.

[688] Yeah.

[689] So Alice and Richard are easily found because everyone's out and after them and brought back to Georgia for trial.

[690] So a magistrate named Thomas Coston promptly sentenced them both to hang.

[691] So their trial was basically like, what's this you say?

[692] Guilty.

[693] It lasted that long.

[694] So now there's two stories about as to how things, as to how, I didn't write that.

[695] As to how things transpired.

[696] One is that Richard was hung first in the gallows.

[697] And then when Alice saw that he got hung, she freaked out, started screaming and saying she was pregnant.

[698] And then they halted her execution until they could determine if this was true.

[699] But Alice Riley is known as the first person to be hanged in the colony of Georgia.

[700] And so that means he couldn't have gone first because he would be the first person hung in Georgia.

[701] Sure.

[702] So get your facts straight, everyone.

[703] I mean, get your facts straight the oldest possible murder I could be talking about.

[704] that's very difficult to print.

[705] They didn't have Wikipedia back then.

[706] No, they sure didn't.

[707] It was all rumor and gossip.

[708] What if he didn't even have lice?

[709] And we're just besmirching the name of a lice -free estate holder.

[710] 100%.

[711] What am I talking about?

[712] Another version has her just telling magistrate straight out, I'm pregnant, so that both executions are postponed.

[713] Either way, the doctors confirmed she's, pregnant and her execution is postponed for eight months.

[714] So that did happen and she was pregnant.

[715] Most people assumed that the baby was William Wise is, the old creeps.

[716] Because he was raping her daily.

[717] Holy shit.

[718] But Alice swore the babies was Richard.

[719] Yeah.

[720] So they allow her to give birth to the child.

[721] It's a boy and he's adopted two weeks later.

[722] Wow.

[723] So then on January 19th, 1735, Alice Riley is taken to Percival Square, which is now called Wright Square, which was also known as hanging square.

[724] I wonder why.

[725] And then she was hanged.

[726] Oh, oh, there you go.

[727] As she was being hung, Alice is said to have screamed at the crowd gathered to watch her execution that she had cursed the area.

[728] Right?

[729] That'd be exciting.

[730] Yeah, yeah.

[731] And then the legend has it that it took three days for her to die.

[732] Fuck.

[733] And that her body was left hanging in the gallows, but then disappeared during the night.

[734] So Alice Riley was the first person executed in the new colony of Georgia, so that first version couldn't have been the truth.

[735] And I sussed it out.

[736] I'm the one that figured it out.

[737] You're smart.

[738] Thank you.

[739] Her lover, Richard White, was hung the next day.

[740] The newborn child put up for adoption died soon after.

[741] Tragedy all around, right?

[742] Yeah.

[743] So now we get to the haunting part.

[744] There's a haunting part?

[745] There's a haunting part.

[746] And it is really cool because it wasn't enough for a live show, but this is a haunting where they have tons of people who witness it and see it often.

[747] Is it a ghost baby?

[748] It's a, no, it's a ghost adult.

[749] So to this day, this fan of police get calls from tourists about a woman who's wandering in Wright Square looking for a baby.

[750] asking them for help no yes the police know it's alice so they always send out the rookies to go check on it and the ghost often appears as a real person and they and she consistently appears to mothers with infants in strollers so it's a lady walking up with period costume but the tourists don't recognize it they don't see it as anything weird yeah because there's so much in that area it's there's reenactors and there's tours and stuff of like this is this historical hanging square totally so they just turn around and there's a lady in period clothes going I lost my baby and then they go oh my god what happened and they try to help her and she disappears does she disappear or does she walk away because what if it's actually a woman in a reenactment woman who's just who's like I'm just out here to fuck with some people absolutely well here's the witnesses describe the woman as being dressed in period of clothing I just told you that part but there's a picture somebody took a picture of her running away from the camera could be fake, fun to talk about and you can look it up online and it's like this weird you can see it's a move like it's a I think from what I remember it was nighttime and she's running so there's like it's a flashy looking thing of like a body moving away but it was like someone going this is so weird Steven's got it of course he's got it thank you Stephen oh because I pulled we pulled this for the show right oh let me see let me see Stephen's pointing at me like we're playing charades right now on the nose you talk on this podcast yeah let me see let me see look at that I want a painting of that hand it over wait oh that's creepy as far right yeah because it's almost like she got up to close to the person help me find my baby and then and then ran away and the lady's like hold on that's weird and then took the picture I know creepy we'll put it up on our Instagram.

[751] I really love this picture.

[752] Yeah.

[753] Then there's some, then there's some fake ghost pictures underneath.

[754] Stop looking at pictures, Karen.

[755] There's some fake ghost pictures under the real ghost picture.

[756] Yes.

[757] That's how you know.

[758] The first ghost picture is so real.

[759] It's weird.

[760] Those other ones are fake.

[761] Fake.

[762] Fake.

[763] Here's a thing I like.

[764] To this day, Spanish moss does not grow on the side of the trees, the north side of the trees that face the gallows.

[765] I don't get it.

[766] I don't.

[767] Is that a riddle?

[768] so all these trees have moss on them yeah but they it won't grow on the side that face the gallows that doesn't face the sun so good the easily explainable of biological reason I'm so sorry but don't you see that moss which is the most sensitive of all lichens it's like they're protesting it's they're facing bad vibes and you're like it's been 300 years you can stop protesting they're like no we can't we saw what happened okay um that's creepy and then i wrote her curse worked on the moss and then i wrote here's a final line and that's the fast and poorly told story of the hanging of alice riley but there's picture like there's art of her it it was just basically the a murder the first murder happened in georgia uh like the first hanged because of the murder I love it so you know what I'm saying is I love Irish girls whatever that shirt is Irish girls getting it done and then there's like a little gallows great job not really I feel like this show is a theme wait that was low -hanging moss that was stupid wonderful good job you did it though you know what it's fun here's what I did I did it.

[769] You did a thing.

[770] I did do it.

[771] It was fun.

[772] We had some fun with it.

[773] I bet you, here's the thing.

[774] People, um, people, um, people, please send us if you know personal Alice Riley stories or you ever had Alice Riley come up and ask you where her baby was.

[775] Yes.

[776] I just think that that, could you imagine, that idea alone of just a woman that's like, please help me find my baby would be the scariest thing ever.

[777] Especially when you have a baby.

[778] Yes.

[779] I'd be like, don't touch mine.

[780] Yeah.

[781] But then you're like, oh, Oh, now I'm cold.

[782] Yeah.

[783] Now the moss is gone.

[784] And now I'm trying to take a selfie with her.

[785] Because she's a period person and she's running.

[786] Why would she run that scary?

[787] Won't take a selfie with me. I have an Instagram to post.

[788] Bitch.

[789] I have a baby.

[790] I have a mommy Instagram.

[791] It's five o 'clock somewhere.

[792] I'm a mommy.

[793] I love wine.

[794] I'm a mommy.

[795] Give me that one.

[796] Mime me, baby.

[797] Less whining and more whining.

[798] Yes.

[799] Right.

[800] Okay, I'm going to do mine Okay, great But I'm going to pee first Sorry, before you start Can I just, because Stephen found that tweet?

[801] Yeah.

[802] Thank you, Stephen.

[803] It was from Alexis H. I don't, do we say people's full names If they tweet to us?

[804] Just their Twitter handle.

[805] Well, it is.

[806] So Alexis Holzer on Twitter She wrote to us, I just donated $21 to Wikipedia.

[807] Support free knowledge, but mainly keep Karen Gilgare from Georgia Hardstock supplied with information for my favorite murder, say sexy and keep Wikipedia running.

[808] And then she put the link for donation.

[809] That's so nice.

[810] Thank you, Alexis.

[811] That was very cool.

[812] Alexis, truly, this podcast would end would end if Wikipedia ended.

[813] I just don't.

[814] I don't rely on it.

[815] And there's not a ton of shit at all times.

[816] It's kind of just like a base.

[817] You need to check the basic facts.

[818] And then you have to read a ton of articles.

[819] I mean, Reddit's better for information than Wikipedia.

[820] But you also have to be very trusting on Reddit.

[821] I guess the same as Wikipedia.

[822] But Wikipedia has a little bit of a Reddit's more like I heard in my high school classroom that where that's the shit I love.

[823] Me too.

[824] Who knows what you're getting.

[825] It's all true.

[826] How did we not talk about fucking Chris Dawson getting arrested?

[827] Oh my God.

[828] We forgot to talk about in the beginning of this true crime show.

[829] We forgot to talk about the true crime fucking news of the week.

[830] If you haven't listened to the podcast, teacher's pet.

[831] Yeah.

[832] You have to listen to it.

[833] It is so good.

[834] It's so well done.

[835] It's Australian, it's, it's the, oh, shit.

[836] The Australian, the Australian.

[837] Oh, that's right.

[838] The newspaper, the Australian's podcast.

[839] And it's about a woman, a mother of two, who was married to this rugby star who went fucking randomly missing in like 1980 something.

[840] And they're investigating it.

[841] Clearly the fucking, like my t -shirt says, the husband did it.

[842] Yes.

[843] And he finally fucking got arrested like this week.

[844] And the details of it and the pain of the.

[845] the people telling the story, and obviously because they talk to family members, but they also talk to these friends and neighbors.

[846] And it's that thing of, you know, it might be Australian culture, it might be whatever it is, but people back then didn't get into each other's business.

[847] Right.

[848] So when they heard these things and they heard the, oh, she's gone and she went away, she joined a cult, she joined a cult, all these things.

[849] They weren't going to be like fighting with people on the street of like, no, she didn't.

[850] Especially when there's no, yeah, there's know and when it's that kind of thing with a lot of these cold cases it's once you put you know eight eight people have one little fact yes each one a different one and you don't realize till you put them all together that tells a story yes which is so interesting but it was so well done in it so clearly was done in this way that reporter um Stephen do you mind would you please be my brain but the reporter who put this podcast together who narrates it was so good at it clearly is an investigative reporter for the Australia and and just was like this has to change and this case it and they would interview these people all those people the neighbors and the friends were so well spoken and me go is there Australian public school system amazing because no because he was working at them and fucking was screwing all the 16 year old girls and truly the one that he moved in as like the day after Lynn went fucking missing spoiler child molestation I mean absolutely that fucking creep yes there is a terrible culture of of silence and kind of like we get to do what we want because we're rugby stars or because we're cops or because we're whatever and they wouldn't they wouldn't fucking prosecute him even though to i mean it's just an amazing story of like letting letting her down yes and but the people who there are people who are so pained over it because they were like i should have done something they're so well spoken they're so emotionally intelligent it's just a very satisfying podcast to listen to it's very gripping and then there's actually there's a there's something comes of it amazing the um teacher's pet is headed by gold walkley winning investigative reporter headley thomas headley thomas thank you see headley thomas what a great job he does and then it i mean he got the job done it must be so satisfying i'm sure it's like he'd be like there's so many people involved who help me blah blah but i'd like to thank my publicist It's like, Hedley.

[851] Hadley.

[852] Take it.

[853] Go for it.

[854] Speaking of great podcasts, my story kind of, I found it kind of because of one.

[855] Okay.

[856] Hold on, Steven's head.

[857] So did I. The Alice Riley podcast.

[858] It's coming out of Galway, Ireland.

[859] That'd be amazing.

[860] Yes.

[861] So Karen, I text you over the weekend how obsessed I am with this podcast, Bear Brook.

[862] Yes.

[863] put up by New Hampshire New Hampshire Public Radio the story starts with I'm sure you guys have heard it if you're not true crime there's bodies found in barrels in the New Hampshire woods and goes on to tell one of the most amazing fucking true like if you're if you need to get someone into true crime this is the perfect fucking story because it goes into so many different directions it's really incredible yes like honestly there's so many parts where you're just screaming yeah and featuring friend of the show Billy Johnson, true crime reporter, Billy Jensen, who this, the bodies and the barrels has been a cold case that he's been obsessed with for years.

[864] Yeah.

[865] And it, and it's, and it just keeps getting crazier and crazier.

[866] It does.

[867] It's an incredible fucking story.

[868] Like, I want to make Vince listen to it so he gets why I'm so obsessed with this shit.

[869] Yeah.

[870] Um, so bodies and barrels made me think of one of the forensic files and like cold case files that stuck with me forever.

[871] Yes.

[872] Of a body and a barrel.

[873] Uh, this is the murder.

[874] of Raina Mariquin.

[875] Okay.

[876] Do you know this one?

[877] I'm sure you know this one.

[878] I don't know.

[879] Tell me. Well, I'm going to tell you.

[880] Okay, tell me, please.

[881] So on September 2nd, 1999, here we are.

[882] Fucking dawn of the internet age.

[883] You really put me there.

[884] There you go.

[885] You know, the dial up and shit.

[886] Yeah.

[887] Whatever.

[888] A dude named Ron is moving out of his family.

[889] They're moving the family out of the home and their upper middle class neighborhood of Jericho, Long Island.

[890] So, like, lovely little probably bedroom community, whatever the fuck.

[891] during the final walkthrough with the buyer they go into the crawl space that's under the den and the new buyer is like hey that that fucking 55 gallon rusted drum that's been stashed in the fucking 36 inch crawl space under the rear den since Ron's family had moved in 10 years earlier you need to get that fucking thing out of here before I buy this house that's the last thing you need to do and Ron says I was annoyed but I'll do it it weighs 345 pounds they had seen he remember seeing it when they moved in too heavy to move forgot about it 10 years later now he needs to dispose of it so he has the movers help him bring it to the curb to have the trash men or women garbage sanitation workers to take it away but the next day after the fucking garbage man women sanitation workers come it's still there and they'd left a note that was like yo dude a this could be toxic waste we don't know what's in it b it's too fucking heavy you need to like empty it out before we'll take it or you need to do something else with it but like we're not we're not taking it yeah this you have to get rid of this responsibly exactly so he's like all right fuck this shit he gets a neighbor they pry the lid off with a screwdriver and are immediately when the fucking top comes off are hit with this insane smell that's they're gagging it's the worst smell they've ever smelled in their lives guess what's in it there's a green liquid sludge inside no and floating at the top of that sludge they see a hand and a shoe that's still on the person at the top of the liquid no yeah so they call the police and minutes later at nassau county police arrive and confirm there's her body in the barrel which is like duh we knew that dudes the barrels taken to the medical examiner they begin the process of extracting the remains which takes hours and there's like photos and video of the whole fucking thing no of course I looked at all of them don't do it why it's fun it's not it's fascinating they drain the green industrial liquid and they don't know what the liquid is and they also find thousands of small plastic pellets like little it looks like the inside of a bean bag oh yeah you know what I mean yeah and they're able to remove the body eventually, which had inadvertently become mummified.

[892] Because it's in there so long?

[893] Yeah.

[894] And the items, other items, they had all been like really well preserved because the barrel had that airtight seal.

[895] Right.

[896] So everything was mummified.

[897] They determine that the body is of a young female between the ages of 20 and 30, probably white or Hispanic.

[898] When they x -ray the body, they find that the victim was nine months pregnant.

[899] Oh, no. Yeah.

[900] The victim's cause of death is blunt.

[901] trauma to the skull.

[902] It looks like she's been hit maybe 10 times in the back of the head.

[903] Oh, God.

[904] It's crazy.

[905] They aren't able to get fingerprints because she'd been mummified, but they get a clue to her identity because, first of all, her unusual dental work.

[906] And the autopsy dude was from South America and identified her dental work as being from South America.

[907] Oh, yeah.

[908] Wow.

[909] Yeah.

[910] He was good at his job.

[911] Right.

[912] Would that be the medical examiner?

[913] Thank you.

[914] Yes.

[915] do because I was like is that the corner but that's a different that's not necessarily the same thing no medical examiner is completely right okay uh the thank you law and order uh and then they then they noticed that the victim they were like how long has this this body been here they noticed that she's wearing a style of dress that's like indicative the 1960s whoa so they're like this is this looks way older than you know a decade she's wearing she's still totally dressed in a skirt, button -down sweater, high socks and shoes and a coat, a leopard print coat.

[916] And so they think that maybe this could have happened decades earlier.

[917] Whoa.

[918] It's 1999, remember, dial -up?

[919] They were able to estimate that she's been dead from 25 to 30 years.

[920] Whoa.

[921] Yeah.

[922] So she still has on some jewelry.

[923] And in the fucking barrel along with the body is her purse.

[924] Jesus Christ.

[925] Yeah.

[926] So they, the medical examiner, looks in the purse they find like everything that she would have thrown in there compact her fucking comb an eyelash curler and they also find a small little paper address book that of course is so deteriorated from the body fluids and whatever this green sledge is that they can't read anything that's in it they said that it was like so delicate you could have just pushed your finger through it yeah um but they're hopeful that maybe if they can get this fucking thing dried out and shit that it can give them a clue as to who this woman is because they don't know who she is still.

[927] Okay, so detective, her name is Joan Fiertener.

[928] She's a forensic document examiner and she thinks she could remove some of the writing even though it's deteriorated.

[929] She places a book.

[930] It's like this is fucking newfangled forensic thing.

[931] It's a drying cabinet and hopes the victim's handwriting would appear as the moisture evaporated.

[932] And it took, it was so painstaking.

[933] It was like one piece of paper every four hours would dry off enough and she had to use this crazy ruler to like, to turn the pages otherwise they would have just disintegrated but she's able to kind of piece some stuff out wow i bet that part of a a job like that is so satisfying so rewarding because it really is like it's a puzzle that actually matters yeah it's like it's not fucking garfield eating a lasagna it's like you put these pieces together and you can actually solve a cold case you can like find a murder of a nine -month pregnant fucking yes that's someone One's daughter, sister, somebody.

[934] It sounds amazing.

[935] So meanwhile, while Dr. Furtner is trying to figure out this address book, hey, let's go over to the detectives in the meantime.

[936] They are like, how do we find out where this barrel came from?

[937] Let's dig into the history of the house.

[938] First, they're like, no one's stupid enough to put a fucking barrel with a dead body that they killed in their own fucking house.

[939] That is stupid.

[940] So, and no one, and like sneaking by is going to just like, be like, I'm going to stash this body here.

[941] like, well, what about the people?

[942] So the crawl space had been an add -on.

[943] So they were like, what about maybe the construction workers who had made this crawl space?

[944] Right.

[945] So they look up the details.

[946] They find out it was made in 1980.

[947] And so they go find a dude who owned the home in 1980.

[948] And he's like, no, I remember the crawl space wasn't built then.

[949] It was built before we moved in.

[950] I remember seeing that barrel too.

[951] My kids played hide and seek behind it and shit.

[952] Like, it was there before that.

[953] And then they realized that the, uh, that the, that the crawl space, uh, permit was misdated and it actually been built way before.

[954] Oh.

[955] So they look into the owners of the home throughout the years and they find that there are four different owners for the past 30 years.

[956] And when they question about the owners, they all mentioned like, we saw it, we couldn't move it.

[957] We ignored it.

[958] Can I just say one thing?

[959] Yeah, yeah.

[960] The person who misdated that permit.

[961] Yeah.

[962] I want to talk to them.

[963] Yeah.

[964] You always fucked this entire thing up.

[965] Well, also, did you have something to do with it?

[966] Like, that's very convenient.

[967] Oh.

[968] Oh.

[969] Just putting it out there.

[970] So maybe the person who filed the, yeah, that's a good point.

[971] A murderous government worker.

[972] That's right.

[973] Of some kind.

[974] Or the person who was asking for the permit purposely misdated it.

[975] Yeah, because that was back when you could probably like lick your thumb and rub it on there.

[976] You make a six and do an eight pretty easily.

[977] You're like, look, mom an A plus.

[978] Exactly.

[979] In a subject I'm terrible at.

[980] Right.

[981] That's slightly smudged with spit.

[982] Don't worry about it.

[983] Anyway.

[984] Anyway, give me a cupcake.

[985] I got A's.

[986] Okay.

[987] But one owner in particular fucking red flag city over here.

[988] His name's Howard Elkins.

[989] The guy who, the detective who got this case, his name is Detective Robert Edwards.

[990] He's like a badass legend.

[991] Everyone's like in awe of him.

[992] At the time, he's one of the longest serving homicide detectives ever.

[993] So he doesn't get the like fucking jaywalking cases.

[994] Like this guy is.

[995] He's like, bring me the real stuff.

[996] Yeah.

[997] They're like, great.

[998] Here's.

[999] this insane thing.

[1000] So he says about this guy, Howard Elkins.

[1001] He was very tall, good -looking, distinguished businessman.

[1002] He had owned the house from 1959 through 1972.

[1003] And he had also owned in town a plastics factory called Melrose Plastics.

[1004] Did they specialize in tiny, tiny pellets?

[1005] Let's keep going.

[1006] I'm sorry.

[1007] I just want to guess.

[1008] Okay.

[1009] They specialize in beanbag filling.

[1010] I just want to show I am good at this, even though my, to the story I dole does not reflect that.

[1011] Karen is the longest serving amateur detective in history.

[1012] That's right.

[1013] I've gone my mustache out.

[1014] Yep.

[1015] So they're, these fucking smart people are able to trace the numbers.

[1016] They trace the numbers that are printed on the barrel to the fucking barrel company.

[1017] Yeah.

[1018] I guess that's just fucking who like who would have thought like I'm going to open a barrel company.

[1019] You know what the thing I've never told you about myself is I'm actually a barrel heiress.

[1020] I don't want people to.

[1021] Are you a barrel baron?

[1022] Yeah.

[1023] I'm inheriting a barrel fortune You always need them We've got the oil people And no one thinks to make them Because everyone's like making the shit that goes in them Yeah Just my genius grandfather So smart Was like what if I'm You can fill the barrel with whatever you want I'm making the barrel you have to buy it Yeah Yeah Start at fucking start at A Start it I love it Container store Nuts not a plug Okay so this fucking barrel company he's like, yeah, dude, we, I know that barrel number.

[1024] We used to sell barrels to Merrill, to Melrose Plastics in the 70s for sure.

[1025] What's up?

[1026] Connected, connected.

[1027] They also found that the green pigment from the drum was used to dye the concrete and plaster.

[1028] Okay, so here's the thing.

[1029] Here's what Melrose Plastics did.

[1030] Melrose Plastic makes fake flowers.

[1031] Oh.

[1032] One of the things that was found in the barrel besides those pellets in the green sludge was the, and then you can see a photo of it, the fucking, like, like, leaves from fake flowers creepy as fuck they found that the green pigment from the that that was in the drum that industrial shit was the dye that they used to dye the concrete and plaster bases that held the plastic flowers and trees produced at the elkins workshop so that plastic i think that those pellets for the plastic that they melted down and turned into the plastic flowers got so that's like the pre flower yeah you know what i mean yes i think so um in a televone interview with the New York Times, Mr. Elkins acknowledged that he had bought the house new in 1957, had lived in it for 15 years before selling and moving to Florida in 1972.

[1033] And yes, he had built the den off the kitchen that created the crawl space.

[1034] And had he ever gone in the crawl space, he said, what for?

[1035] Never been in there.

[1036] I never went in the crawl space.

[1037] Lyer.

[1038] Well, for lots of things.

[1039] Like, say, you got a raccoon got in there.

[1040] Right.

[1041] You want to store your basic shit that you...

[1042] You murder somebody and you...

[1043] want to hide a body right there's a couple reasons and those are the only ones uh days later so detectives are like great they make a trip to hallandale beach florida where they track down this says 80 year old but i heard 70 year old and other things but who knows oh no no i'm sorry they tracked down 80 year old melvin gantman he's a retired businessman and elkins former partner uh oh they show him a picture of the barrel and he's like yeah that was definitely one of our fucking barrels we use those for sure our fucking barrels are the best i know those barrels right um they asked him if they had and if he had any idea about a dead pregnant woman found inside one of them that was found under uh the elkins's former long island home and he's like yo we used to we used to uh make manufacture plastic flowers using young immigrant women as line workers uh oh he said i remember that Elkins had become involved with one of them and had an affair with her way back then.

[1044] Here we go.

[1045] That's right.

[1046] Here it is.

[1047] He described the girl as exotic and beautiful with long, dark hair, and her two front teeth had been gold, or she had gold fillings, but he couldn't remember her name, but all of that fit with the body.

[1048] And that's the interesting dental work, right?

[1049] The Emmy.

[1050] Oh, man. But they still don't know who she is.

[1051] And there's no missing persons report from back then either, like, of someone fitting that description.

[1052] Right.

[1053] So let's go back to fucking now.

[1054] South County Crime Lab or Dr. Furtner is fucking working with paper and shit.

[1055] Yes, yeah.

[1056] She detects faint markings on the dry pages, but they're still unreadable.

[1057] So she uses a video spectral comparator for forensics.

[1058] No, I have one.

[1059] It's, they're so convenient.

[1060] Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[1061] They just compare it.

[1062] Yeah, when you need to compare one thing to the other.

[1063] Every house needs one.

[1064] Get a spectral version of it.

[1065] Well, back then it was a new cutting age machine that allowed her to look through.

[1066] Now, we use these every day in her.

[1067] everyday lives now.

[1068] But back in 1999, wait, are you being sarcastic?

[1069] Yes.

[1070] Because I was like, really?

[1071] How?

[1072] I really do want one now.

[1073] No, we don't know what they are.

[1074] And it's probably dated as fuck already.

[1075] Right.

[1076] Yes, exactly.

[1077] She looks through the infrared and ultraviolet ranges of the spectrum outside of the range of the eye that blah, blah, blah, blah.

[1078] Sure.

[1079] So she scans the ad.

[1080] It's the part on forensic files and everything turns blue.

[1081] Right.

[1082] I think it's the part on forensic files where everything is dated.

[1083] because it's 1997.

[1084] Exactly.

[1085] So she scans the address book pages and is able to detect under this ultraviolet thing the victim's handwriting.

[1086] And in one page, she found the phrase Social Security number.

[1087] And on another, she finds the word Residencia Nambre, which she's like, this must be her fucking, her, what's it called?

[1088] Immigration number?

[1089] Thank you.

[1090] Is that a thing?

[1091] Yes.

[1092] That's what it is.

[1093] Okay.

[1094] That's correct.

[1095] So this leads police to go to immigration and they're able to use her fucking number from 1967 to track down who this person was.

[1096] Her name is Raina Marquin.

[1097] She's 25 years old in 1966 when she immigrated to New York from El Salvador.

[1098] And she had been 27 when she disappeared and no one had heard from her again in 1969.

[1099] Oh.

[1100] She had worked as a nanny and at Melrose Plastics in Manhattan.

[1101] Whoa.

[1102] Yeah.

[1103] So later Detective Fertner found, uh, let's see.

[1104] I'll read that to you in a minute.

[1105] Okay, so Dr. Furner also finds they're able to pick up a bunch of phone numbers from the book.

[1106] And they're like, it's been 30 years.

[1107] These phones are all going to be disconnected.

[1108] They're all disconnected, all disconnected.

[1109] And then they call one number, a woman named Kathy picks up.

[1110] She's asked if she knew Raina and she starts fucking crying.

[1111] And she's like, my angel, I thought I'd never hear about her again.

[1112] I knew something had happened to her.

[1113] Oh, no. Yeah.

[1114] So she said she had met Raina in an English class and said that Raina had come to the U .S. to study fashion.

[1115] She was obsessed with the fashion industry.

[1116] She took citizenship classes.

[1117] She loved New York and was full of life and eager to learn and make a life in the U .S. Over time, Kathy noticed a change in her friend.

[1118] She asked Raina about it and her friend said that she was pregnant but refused to tell Kathy the father's identity, but just said that he was married.

[1119] He had gotten her a private doctor, she said, and an apartment in New Jersey.

[1120] to be closer to him.

[1121] She told Kathy that he said he was going to marry her and leave his wife and three children once she had the baby.

[1122] But Raina was worried.

[1123] He would never keep his promise.

[1124] And finally, when she's fucking nine months pregnant, he's like, I'm not going to marry you.

[1125] She calls Kathy one day and is like, I'm freaking out.

[1126] I panicked and I called his wife and told her.

[1127] Oh, no. Yeah.

[1128] And the next day, Raina calls Kathy in hysterics saying, that this mysterious boyfriend had threatened to kill her.

[1129] He called and said, he's under a killer.

[1130] He's coming over.

[1131] She said, come over right away.

[1132] When Kathy gets to Raina's apartment, no one answers the door.

[1133] She goes in the door's a jar.

[1134] There's like food left on the stove warming as she had just been there.

[1135] And her winter coat and boots have been left behind.

[1136] And Kathy waited for hours and hours and eventually just calls the police.

[1137] But of course, they dismiss her story and like Raina's just run off with her boyfriend.

[1138] Get over it.

[1139] And she doesn't know who the boyfriend is.

[1140] so she doesn't know who to call.

[1141] Kathy never saw her friend again.

[1142] Oh, my God.

[1143] I know.

[1144] That's so, I don't know.

[1145] There's something very satisfying about the fact that that Raina's story ends like that dramatically and then picks up that years and years later where there is, it's that thing.

[1146] Like there are people sitting there waiting.

[1147] Totally.

[1148] To like hear something.

[1149] Yeah, to be like, part of you probably is like, I don't want to know because.

[1150] I, you know, if they haven't called me in 30 years, it's not because they just moved on.

[1151] Yes.

[1152] It's because something bad happened.

[1153] Right.

[1154] Her friend would have contacted her.

[1155] She was like, that's so creepy and awful.

[1156] And it's like, you know, they were both, uh, they were both El Salvadorian.

[1157] So it's like, of course, the police back then and maybe even now aren't going to take you seriously or care that much about your case.

[1158] Right.

[1159] It's really sad.

[1160] Yes.

[1161] So investigators believe that this dude Elkins, went to Raina's New Jersey, either went to her house and apartment and took her away or lured her to the factory and killed her there.

[1162] And then they think that he took her body to...

[1163] So they probably...

[1164] He probably took her body to his house where the barrel had been found along with a barrel.

[1165] His intention was to dump it in the ocean from his boat.

[1166] But when he filled the drum underneath and sealed it up and shit, it was too heavy for him to...

[1167] moved to his boat so we just fucking left it there you know what's funny is that i was about to say it's too heavy to put it and then i'm like because now it's coming like the forensic files that i've seen on this is coming back to me right as you say each thing it's 375 pounds right but i want credit for knowing things even where it's like you saw tv episode on this it's not you don't know any no no you remember the tv episode that's fucking you should get props for that girl listen our brains are deteriorating it's for real it was like it was too heavy right yeah yes karen because you saw it on TV already uh but it is like like what a fucking like sounds like a cohen brother's movie yeah he was like I'm filling it up and I'm bringing it to the boat it's too fucking heavy yeah what do I do I live for the next you know fucking 15 years he lives with it under his fucking house where his children live and where his wife is sleeping yes so it's like clearly you just have no human emotion because you are able to do that, not crack, not no one catches on.

[1168] But here's what I want to know is I want to hear from his children who were like, he changed after.

[1169] Like we remember a change in dad or his wife being like, that's when he started being weird.

[1170] There was a change.

[1171] We wanted to move out of that house and he wouldn't move and we didn't understand why he wanted to stay in the house so bad.

[1172] Wait, are those all theories?

[1173] Yes.

[1174] That's what I'm thinking.

[1175] Oh, yeah.

[1176] They stayed in that house for longer than anyone else.

[1177] And maybe it's because he's like, I can't let anyone else move in here.

[1178] So he knows the people, the next people are going to find it.

[1179] He's probably just waiting for someone to fucking find this barrel.

[1180] He moves to Florida.

[1181] Here's my, and not to give ideas, but you build this crawl space, right?

[1182] Basically to hide this, this unmovable, crazy, heavy, badly planned barrel with a body in it.

[1183] Why wouldn't you just throw up a fake wall?

[1184] I mean, why you're filling in with concrete?

[1185] yes do those things that like the mob does and stuff so that it's just not overt and it's something and that gets discovered years and years later as opposed to like oh i played hide and seek near this barrel or it's like could take the extra step pay the extra two hundred dollars and have them throw up some paneling i mean it's either like a cockiness that he never thought he'd get caught or wanting to get caught maybe yes maybe or just being just shutting down that part of his brain and being a blitz like just you know not not dealing with it i know i'm not really even sure what i'm arguing i get it just don't be it be a better criminal yeah i don't know yeah if you're gonna go all the way then why not it go all the way leaving things behind like that is so insane it's almost like he wanted to get caught yeah but that's giving this fucking asshole too much credit true so um but but but the apartment etc on the afternoon of september 9th 19 just a week after discovery of the body, detectives knock on Howard Elkins's home in an F -scale retirement community in Boca Raton, Florida.

[1186] And they're like, what's up, dude?

[1187] Here's a photo of this.

[1188] Here's a photo of that.

[1189] This is who this is.

[1190] What the fucking fuck?

[1191] And he denied he'd ever seen the barrel.

[1192] When they asked him about his relationship with the victim, he's like, yeah, I did have an affair back then, but I, uh, when my wife and I were having issues, but I don't remember her name and I don't remember what she looks like, blah, blah, blah.

[1193] lot and they're like bullshit.

[1194] I know.

[1195] You remember people, even if you hated the person you remember if you have an affair with them.

[1196] Totally.

[1197] You remember what they look like.

[1198] Yeah.

[1199] They press him further and asking if he ever put her up somewhere if he knew she was pregnant, but he claimed he hadn't.

[1200] So he were, but then they're like, can we get a fucking DNA swab of your cheek?

[1201] We brought it all with us.

[1202] And he's like, nope, I want a lawyer.

[1203] Get the fuck out of my house.

[1204] Yeah.

[1205] But before leaving, this fucking badass 100 forever detective the first 100 year detective in New York in New York State the cryptkeeper detective Robert Edwards he's like I'm a fucking redwood tree you can't escape my justice count my rings motherfucker that's his uh he's like saying he pulls the gun on someone count my rings and they're like sorry what that doesn't make any sense um and there he's like no I don't you can't take a sample but he before leaving he's like he turns to him looks him straight in the fucking face and goes I'm going to come back here tomorrow with a warrant for your DNA we're going to check it against that uh dead baby he says yeah and we're going to prove that you're the father of that baby and that you killed reyna yes and he he says that uh this guy uh he doesn't fucking Howard Elkins doesn't react of course not at all course not he's cold he's a cold hearted snake Hulk and do his eyes.

[1206] That's right.

[1207] He's been telling lies.

[1208] Uh -oh.

[1209] Uh -oh.

[1210] Okay.

[1211] The next day, they're still in Florida.

[1212] The detectives, they're processing their paperwork.

[1213] They get a call from the Nassau County back home, Homicide Squad, and they're like, what's going on with Elkins?

[1214] We just got a call from the police department in Florida saying that his wife is filing a missing person's report on her husband.

[1215] What?

[1216] Howard Elkins.

[1217] Uh -oh.

[1218] She doesn't know where he is.

[1219] He ran.

[1220] By the time Long Island cops arrived at the Palm Beach County.

[1221] sheriff's office Elkins had been found earlier in the day and this is so fucked up so he's 70 years old at this point okay he walked into a Walmart purchased a 12 gauge shotgun and a box of shells and because there's no such thing as fucking background checks or fucking waiting period he walks the fuck out with both those things he got in the backseat of a neighbor's SUV which is such a dick very rude and fired one shot into his fucking skull.

[1222] Whoa.

[1223] His son discovered his body with a gun between his legs.

[1224] Awful.

[1225] And the Florida neighbors are, of course, shocked that the big bearded jovial man could have been involved in this crime.

[1226] Postmortem DNA testing confirms that he was the father of Raina's unborn child.

[1227] Wow.

[1228] They also found, with all this paperwork, like a little piece of paper tucked into the address book of, you know, her address book, that they were able to like, fucking, it's so crazy and creepy.

[1229] They were able to spectrometer.

[1230] They spectrometated the thing, the UV situation.

[1231] So another thing they're able to find as a little postscript in that piece of paper is a piece of paper that when they figure it out, when they post -script it, says, don't be mad, I told the truth.

[1232] So she probably told, called the wife, told the wife what was going on.

[1233] and he found out she left him a note somewhere, maybe at work, maybe in his car.

[1234] Oh, wait, she didn't leave it anywhere.

[1235] She had it still.

[1236] Yeah.

[1237] So she was going to leave it for him.

[1238] She was going to leave it for him.

[1239] Don't be mad.

[1240] I told the truth.

[1241] That poor thing.

[1242] Like she did.

[1243] She told the truth.

[1244] That's right.

[1245] So a month after the case is finally closed.

[1246] They figure everything out.

[1247] Writer and journalist Oscar Corral.

[1248] He's determined to find the family that must be fucking looking for her or must have wondered what happened to their sister, their daughter, their cousin back in El Salvador over 30 fucking years before when they stopped hearing from her.

[1249] Right.

[1250] So he goes to fucking El Salvador and has to like, it takes some days and days searching to finally find Raina's family.

[1251] And after a couple days, he locates Raina's 95 -year -old mother, Celia.

[1252] Oh, no. You ready to cry?

[1253] Yep.

[1254] Oscar goes and shows the woman a 30 -year -old photo of Raina and the mother, Celia, starts to weep and falls to the fucking ground.

[1255] Her sister told him that Raina had left El Salvador in August, 1966.

[1256] She wanted a new start after a failed marriage.

[1257] Quote, she'd tell my mom, I'm going to be somebody, I'm going to be somebody someday.

[1258] And for three years, Raina Merriquin, wrote her family regularly.

[1259] she called and then with no explanation in 1969, the letters and calls suddenly stopped and they'd been heartbroken ever since.

[1260] Yeah.

[1261] Her family had put up announcements in the paper in El Salvador trying to track her down, but over the years, the family had accepted that they might never, ever know what happened to Raina.

[1262] I know.

[1263] Her mother had been having reoccurring nightmares about her daughter being trapped inside a barrel.

[1264] No. Oh.

[1265] Her mother, Raina was flown back to her hometown of San Martin and her mother said, now I know she's with me. She came flying like a dove back to her home.

[1266] And Celia died a month later and was buried next to her daughter.

[1267] Oh, God.

[1268] You're trying to kill me. She fucking held out until she found out what happened.

[1269] She got her baby back.

[1270] Yeah.

[1271] And that is the fucking murder of Raina.

[1272] Araquin.

[1273] Wow.

[1274] Amazing.

[1275] How fucked up is that.

[1276] Also, what a beautiful thing for that.

[1277] It was a reporter.

[1278] Yeah, he's really incredible.

[1279] He's in a lot of the videos that, um, I think he's a writer now.

[1280] I'm pretty sure he wrote a book about the case.

[1281] But he did.

[1282] Yeah.

[1283] And I, he's in a lot of these, uh, the videos that you see of like, you know, forensic files and shit, all the stories about him.

[1284] And he just has this, like, empathy.

[1285] Right.

[1286] You can tell.

[1287] Yeah.

[1288] He cared about.

[1289] He was emotionally attached to this case.

[1290] Yeah.

[1291] Yeah.

[1292] Yeah.

[1293] Which I think is what happens.

[1294] I mean, how could you, especially that, everything about this story is amazing.

[1295] Yeah, it's like, first you want to put a name to this poor girl who nobody had missed for 30 years, who was pregnant with a baby, and then she found out, she's pregnant, and then, you know, it's so many fucking layers.

[1296] I think there's something too about that, like, there's a, there's a weird, that apathy and that inhumanity of just like, this isn't convenient.

[1297] This is a thing I chose to do.

[1298] It, there's something that.

[1299] came of it that's not convenient for my real life.

[1300] So I'm going to remove this and therefore everything's fine.

[1301] Because there's part when you were like, oh, I can't believe the jovial neighbor where I had a moment of, oh, that's so sad for him.

[1302] And it's like, no, no, no, you don't get to go through life and just like remove inconvenient mistakes that you made.

[1303] Choices that you made that led to obvious fucking places.

[1304] Yes.

[1305] And you, and basically that you, you, you, you, did something inconsiderate, you did something selfish, and then that thing kicked back on you, which they always do.

[1306] Well, that's the thing about why the note is so tragic of don't, she didn't do it.

[1307] Like, you know, I don't be mad.

[1308] I told the truth.

[1309] Yes.

[1310] And then he, you know, in a lot of ways, lied.

[1311] And one of those lies is murdering the problem.

[1312] Yes.

[1313] You know?

[1314] And also he told her, he basically made a promise to her of like, okay, like, I love you.

[1315] I love you.

[1316] I want to have this baby with you.

[1317] I'm going to leave my wife.

[1318] I'm going to leave my wife.

[1319] So he's fucking everybody over.

[1320] His children, everything.

[1321] And then this assumption that you make is like, oh, there's a body, there's a body in a barrel.

[1322] Therefore, that in and of itself means that that person doesn't matter.

[1323] Because they've just been sitting there where it's like, no, unpack it all, investigate it all and find out how much this person actually means.

[1324] Yeah.

[1325] I mean, that's, there's, it's so good.

[1326] Yeah.

[1327] And it sucks because, like, it was so.

[1328] sad to that you know this fucking he killed himself so there was no bringing him to justice right so at least you know this journalist probably part of it was that he wanted to go find her family there has to be someone who's missing her who's missed her and he does it and it's like incredible he does it it's like yeah that's such an amazing story great job thank you so good wow fucked up so fucked up I mean they all are it's like I think that's that's what so much of this people like true crime just like justice and they like to hear these stories of like it's basically the stories of everybody matters yeah everybody matters no matter what the actual official quote unquote story is totally and they matter to cops they matter these detectives yeah that dedicate their lives these reporters they dedicate their lives right there's all these scientists the community you know the woman with her beautiful radial spectrometer who's just like piecing together this is important yes this matters so much yeah it's it's really lovely actually in its horror it is that's part of like I think being into true crime is like when things get solved you're you know you're there for it you want to like you don't just want to know about these horrible things that happen you want to know how there are good people out there you know trying their best to at least put a period on a horrible sentence yeah that's somehow positive or you know human yes humane yes and I think that's what's being like everyone thinks we're just like into serial killers or like into murder but it's like no we're into these insane human fucking stories yeah of crazy adversity that happens all the fucking time to people all around us it's it's an incredible story i want to know the story not just you know the bad parts not just yeah not just the gruesome details but like the the human stories and who gets pulled into those stories and you know there's people whose jobs that are what there's people who's jobs It is to just you catch the case.

[1329] And so then that's your, this is your case.

[1330] This is your thing.

[1331] And like the idea that, you know, the Redwood Tree Detective goes down and it's just like, guess what, friend, it's over.

[1332] Yeah.

[1333] And I don't care that it's 30, 70, whatever years.

[1334] Yeah.

[1335] I don't care that you're old.

[1336] You, the buck stops here with you.

[1337] Time to fucking, time to face your fucking lies.

[1338] Yep.

[1339] And you don't get to just lie your way through life anymore.

[1340] No, you don't get to be the jovial.

[1341] neighbor because, you know, Raina never had a chance to be a mother to her unborn child.

[1342] No. No. So it's not how that fucking works.

[1343] It's not how it works.

[1344] There is justice sometimes.

[1345] Wow.

[1346] Fucking hooray.

[1347] Fucking hooray.

[1348] I mean, I could do mine easily because I will say this.

[1349] I complain and, you know, whatever uses an excuse.

[1350] So I have this job.

[1351] and so it makes this job harder, whatever.

[1352] But this season, writing on this season of best is going to end, I think it's this week or next week.

[1353] So I'm still not sure.

[1354] It's just going on forever.

[1355] Pretty soon.

[1356] It's never going to end.

[1357] But it's such an amazing.

[1358] The group of people that work on the show are so amazing.

[1359] It's been such a fun year.

[1360] It's been such a joy.

[1361] Everything about it has been the best, the best experience.

[1362] so there you know it really has been worth it in so many ways and then and also it's been killing me slowly and and just basically um kind of peeling away my mental stability but um I do adore it so much and it's I'm so grateful yeah that to be even involved in it is such an honor so I will say this week's fucking hooray is the fact that I get to be a writer on baskets it's very cool to me amazing yeah I'm so happy for you thank you um Um, mine is, okay, my fucking hooray.

[1363] Okay, so there's this gal I follow on Instagram called, uh, named Jen Gotch, G -O -T -C -H.

[1364] She has a podcast called Jen is okay.

[1365] Jen gotch is okay sometimes.

[1366] Um, and she talks a lot about her own mental health struggles as well.

[1367] She put out those really cute script necklaces that say anxiety and depression that's sold out immediately so I can get one.

[1368] But, uh, she posted a photo like this week of her hand with, you know, her, her new med, her new, like, what's it called?

[1369] Pill?

[1370] Her new pill for her anxiety.

[1371] Right.

[1372] And talked about it.

[1373] And I was like, that's really cool.

[1374] So I posted, you know, gave her credit and posted one, two of my, the pills I take to make me not fucking stay in bed all day, depressed and anxious.

[1375] And then a bunch of fucking people have started doing it with the hashtag that was created, someone made it up called my favorite meds.

[1376] And so now there's like 200 plus photos.

[1377] and posts that people are putting up on their Instagram of what pharmaceutical they fucking take so that they can function in life, which I know is a really weird topic for a lot of people to talk about.

[1378] So the fact that there's all these people doing it is really incredible.

[1379] So I go to my favorite meds hashtag and if you feel so inclined post what you're taking and I know it's like a secret for a lot of people that they're on fucking Prozac or they need a Xanax every now and then.

[1380] But I feel like people posting it and making it public says to everyone, else on their feed that they know in real life or on the internet or whatever or went to high school with like this isn't this shouldn't there doesn't need to be a stigma behind this right and it's okay normal yeah and we all we all need help sometimes yes for sure i think it's helping in a little way to end the stigma of taking taking fucking pharmaceuticals for everyone's depression and everyone's shit and jen gotch did it first yeah she's like she's groundbreaking that's right I definitely gave her credit.

[1381] Yeah, yeah.

[1382] She's really cool.

[1383] I'm a big fan of hers.

[1384] That's great.

[1385] Yeah.

[1386] That's really awesome.

[1387] Yeah.

[1388] That's that makes me think of as Chrissy Tegan did the same thing as her new baby needs to wear a helmet to shape his skull.

[1389] I saw that.

[1390] I fucking love her.

[1391] What did she say?

[1392] It was so cute.

[1393] Don't worry.

[1394] He's fine.

[1395] Yes, exactly.

[1396] It's just like, it's just to shape his skull.

[1397] It's going to make him even cuter.

[1398] And then it was just like, and then it's all these people being like, yep, look how cute my baby looks with this on.

[1399] where it's, there's something very cool happening with it.

[1400] There's obviously social media brings a lot of horror.

[1401] It can harm.

[1402] It can influence us in ways and make us think very strange things about ourselves.

[1403] It also has that power, a very healing power and a unifying power.

[1404] That's right.

[1405] And I think there's a big move of like an anti -shaming thing going on right now where it's like body positivity and like, you know, I see these incredible, these incredible gals who don't have the fucking.

[1406] typical bodies posting these incredible bikini photos of themselves that you're like this needs to be normal and the more you post them the more you feel normal about yourself whether it's because you need meds or because you don't have a fucking you don't weigh 105 pounds which is not normal right it's not normal because your kidneys a helmet like the people like the people that look like that and the presentation of it is like it's because I eat I'm vegan and I'm this I'm not it's like if those people are actually honest about how they stay that skinny it would be a very different story.

[1407] And that happens sometimes when people like, all those women who were so emaciated in the 90s, Courtney Thorne Smith came out with like that whole story.

[1408] She was like, we, on Allie McBeal, we all worked out four hours a day.

[1409] They were never not working out.

[1410] They were never not starving themselves.

[1411] And it's like, there's, that's the story you never hear on that side of like, just a really, I'm just this really healthy actress that loves spinning.

[1412] I love a burger.

[1413] That definitely happens.

[1414] All the time.

[1415] There's people who are like, blessed with that but it's not that common yeah as an ex anorexic i can say that it's not you make you say this and you say that but it's not fucking true you just are not eating and you're not enjoying life and you're hurting yourself yeah i know it's uh you know what the whole movement is a very cool thing of just like being yourself is good right now like right now and just give give yourself a break whatever direction you are and however whatever area you're in give yourself a break yeah it's a good that's a good message yeah and you're not alone there's other people either going through it that have gone through it it's not reach out and be vulnerable and you might get that back from someone else you will get that back from someone else yeah out there it might not be everyone some people might reject it but the people you for it from everyone right but the people you do find that from you're going to make connections with them that are lifelong, life -changing, life -affirming.

[1416] Like, for example, you and I. Yeah.

[1417] It's perfect.

[1418] We did it.

[1419] We did it.

[1420] We're working on it.

[1421] Life's a struggle, but it's real fun.

[1422] You know what it is?

[1423] It's just like, the goal should be that you are comfortable and happy.

[1424] Yeah.

[1425] Instead of perfect.

[1426] Because perfect doesn't exist.

[1427] It's just this.

[1428] And perfect is boring.

[1429] It's just, it does, it's not real, though.

[1430] It's not real.

[1431] because the people we think are perfect are suffering in some way or something else is happening.

[1432] Or you really wouldn't want their lie.

[1433] Right.

[1434] It's just that's a weird oasis lie that like keeps you on that hook where it's like, no, no, no, no, no. Come on, everybody.

[1435] I'm saying this absolutely to myself.

[1436] Come on.

[1437] What about right now is fine?

[1438] Thanks for listening, you guys.

[1439] We as always appreciate you and are so happy to be part of this community.

[1440] we're so happy to be allowed to barf all this dumb shit at you truly it's really nice thank you for holding our hair back while we barfled that's what you guys are doing you really do hold our hair every week and we really appreciate just listening to us wretch um so guess what stay sexy and don't get murdered goodbye elvis you want cookie