Idina Menzel

[0] Welcome, welcome, welcome to armchair expert.

[1] I'm Dan Rather, and I'm joined by Monica Mouse.

[2] How much restraint are you going to have?

[3] I got it.

[4] I just got a little case of the giggles.

[5] Church giggles.

[6] Church giggles, yeah.

[7] An old friend is here today.

[8] One of the most amazing singers I've ever heard in my life.

[9] Biggest chills I've ever had induced by singing.

[10] Yes, she's incredible.

[11] She's a beast.

[12] And who is that incredible singer, Monica?

[13] Adina Menzel.

[14] Oh, Adina.

[15] We love Adina.

[16] She was really, really fun.

[17] I've met her a little bit in passing, but we've never had a real conversation.

[18] So I expected, I don't know why, a little bit more buttoned up, but she was super fun and cool.

[19] And chill and down to earth.

[20] Yep, loved her.

[21] I love her.

[22] She has many great albums.

[23] Here, still I can't be still.

[24] I stand holiday wishes.

[25] She has a new album out now called Drama Queen, which has a ton of really.

[26] really cool disco -inspired music.

[27] It's really fantastic.

[28] She also has a new children's book out on September 22nd called Proud Mouse.

[29] Proud Mouse, ding, ding, ding.

[30] A nod to Monica Mouse.

[31] Please enjoy Adina Mansell.

[32] Wondry Plus subscribers can listen to armchair expert early and ad free right now.

[33] Join Wondry Plus in the Wondry app or on Apple Podcasts.

[34] Or you can listen for free wherever you get your podcasts.

[35] He's an armchair.

[36] How did you all meet?

[37] Well, we had mutual friends.

[38] A long, long time ago.

[39] We had mutual friends.

[40] Bye, everybody.

[41] Bye, baby.

[42] Bye, Nelty.

[43] Oh, Wabi Wob even gets a fun.

[44] Oh, Wabi Wob gets a fun.

[45] Great day.

[46] Just made five people's days.

[47] Seriously.

[48] We had mutual friends.

[49] So I would see them at parties and stuff, but I didn't really know them.

[50] And then I booked an episode of House of Lies, a role as her assistant.

[51] And she was like, I know you.

[52] We chatted that day, and then I said, I also babysit, because that's really how I was making money at the time.

[53] And she had just had Lincoln.

[54] And so, like, a week later, they asked if I would come date night babysit.

[55] So then I started doing that.

[56] And then they brought me on more full -time than I was full -time nanny.

[57] And then they got old enough to leave the nest to preschool.

[58] And then I took on the role of Kristen's assistant.

[59] How was that for you?

[60] Do you tell.

[61] He's an incredible boss.

[62] I will say.

[63] I'm sure she's a boss lady.

[64] I know.

[65] But she's a good boss.

[66] One of our earliest fights, Dax and I's earliest fights.

[67] Oh, yeah.

[68] One of like, like, seven thousand.

[69] All of the time.

[70] Yeah.

[71] My hobby was finding Monica in the house and starting an argument with her because we both love to debate things.

[72] Debate is different than fighting.

[73] Well, we do both.

[74] They start as debates and then they turn.

[75] Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[76] Whereas I was at the point where I wouldn't really even debate with him anymore.

[77] I was like, you know what?

[78] I don't want to dance.

[79] I'm not here for this.

[80] She'd already done enough.

[81] One of our first fights was he referred to me as the nanny on somebody else's podcast.

[82] And I listened and he was telling a story.

[83] No, I'm sorry, babysitter.

[84] We have this babysitter and blah, blah, blah.

[85] And I've been trying to get her to do mushrooms.

[86] I think that was the whole point of the thing.

[87] And I said, you know, she never refers to me as the babysitter or nanny or any sort of in the help position.

[88] She's always like, this is my friend, or then she started calling me her external hard drive, but she would never even say, this is my assistant.

[89] That's the truth.

[90] But it meant so much.

[91] I really keep that in the back of my head now.

[92] That's easy to sympathize with.

[93] Do you want to hear my rebuttal?

[94] Yes.

[95] Okay.

[96] I'm on a show.

[97] I'm trying to be funny.

[98] It's not funny if I try to get my friend to do mushrooms.

[99] Anyone would do that.

[100] Right.

[101] To try to get your babysitter to do mushrooms is obviously a whole other provocative layer.

[102] She needs to serve the material.

[103] And then my own vanity was I didn't want to say nanny because I still felt like we got shamed if people knew we had a nammie.

[104] What about I have a manny.

[105] But now Walker's 14 and neither of them like the way that sounds.

[106] So he's now uncle.

[107] Which he is.

[108] He's a family member.

[109] But he's too cool to be manny.

[110] Yeah.

[111] So go ahead.

[112] I'm sorry.

[113] But I haven't offered him mushrooms.

[114] May I recommend it?

[115] Because ultimately we did convince her to do it and she appreciated the experience.

[116] Sure.

[117] With your kids around?

[118] No, I was part of the babysitting experience.

[119] No, it was much later after she left the role as caregiver.

[120] She'd get bumped up on shrooms.

[121] Yeah.

[122] I had requested to do shrooms for my 40th birthday.

[123] I did them for my 50th.

[124] Oh.

[125] We're both going to talk about, you never think twice about the things you say that aren't, well, we can't talk about the thing that we're in together.

[126] We're comedians.

[127] How can we just, we could be making this up?

[128] So often I say things and they have to be like, earmuffs, you know what I mean?

[129] For our brand, for what Kristen and I, the thing we can't talk about.

[130] No, we're not here to talk about the brand.

[131] The big elephant in the room that we cannot talk about today.

[132] But the point being is that sometimes I don't have the sensibility of a, how old are I?

[133] 14, 15 with very skinny arms and a little bit of boobage.

[134] And I'm a 52 -year -old woman that has a life with a hot husband and I like to talk about things.

[135] And I don't like to talk about alcohol or drugs, you know.

[136] I think that's more important that you're, that we're real.

[137] Authentic, yeah.

[138] But it's also important that we make that money that we can send and leave to our children.

[139] I like that.

[140] That's honest.

[141] I love the honesty.

[142] Yes.

[143] I get that.

[144] You don't want to kill the golden goose.

[145] I've only said one thing that got me in trouble on a press tour.

[146] Say it again.

[147] I was referring to some of the early works of the brand.

[148] I said publicly that when we read Sleeping Beauty or Snow White, I just politely add, and then he kisses her to wake her up.

[149] But obviously no one should ever kiss you when you're sleeping unless you consent.

[150] Because I thought that was an important part of the story.

[151] Let's be honest, though.

[152] Only Ben Shapiro didn't like it.

[153] And he wrote a little thing about it.

[154] But I don't think anyone at Disney was upset.

[155] But I would also say people ask me all the time, does your son love that you sing?

[156] And I'd say, no, he doesn't really want me to sing ever right now.

[157] Oh, when you sing that song that I'm trying not to talk about, you know, and I say, no, he hates the song.

[158] And then they told me, could you please stop going on press doors and saying that he hates it?

[159] But it's the truth.

[160] So then you'll see, there was a fine line between when we talked about it, Kristen, and then I'd be like, my son loves it.

[161] He just loves it.

[162] Wait, I have said the same thing.

[163] He's an only boy in his class who still sings it proudly on top of his desk.

[164] I've said the same thing that my girls don't like it when I sing, or maybe I wasn't referring to a specific song.

[165] One time I was referring to the perhaps inequality or marginalization of some of the writing and or voice actors in early works.

[166] And I was told, you know what, let's not talk about that early works.

[167] And I was like, but don't we learn from that early works?

[168] Don't we have to be able to see where we've come from?

[169] So here's where I might diverge.

[170] And this is the funny thing about our current life is that all four of us were on the same page, we're on the same page, same page, same page.

[171] I can see Samaritan, hey, every time you bring up this new property that is empowering, you're not obligated to drudge through all the misfires from the past.

[172] If I were bringing it up in every single interview, of course, I think I was telling a very specific story about how this wasn't that.

[173] I also think it's okay to, even if it wasn't every single one, if that is meaningful to you of I'm very happy to be a part of a thing that's evolved, then you should totally be able to say.

[174] say that.

[175] Yeah, I guess I end up...

[176] We hate Disney.

[177] No, I love this.

[178] It's provided so much, so much happiness.

[179] Yeah, I love Disneyland and Disney World.

[180] I also just want to say, to clarify, it's not like it's coming from any specific credo.

[181] It's just a sweet publicist that's with us that's trying to maintain the integrity of the interview and of her or his job position as well.

[182] So it's like, oh, steer away from that.

[183] I'll tell you this, though, when you walked in Delta reminded me, because I said, oh, do you remember Edina and you haven't seen her in a while?

[184] And she said, the last time I saw you, I was like, I don't know, seven?

[185] Yeah, and she's eight now.

[186] So it was a while about it.

[187] And she was like, we called you from a store, didn't we?

[188] And then I remembered there was one time we were in a store shopping for jeans for them or something.

[189] For some reason I had been explaining the plot line of Wicked to them.

[190] It's a confusing plot line.

[191] Can be.

[192] And backstory.

[193] and ancillary characters, and I was getting all tangled up.

[194] Especially if you just done shrooms the night before.

[195] Oh, my God.

[196] With your best friend slash maybe sometimes a babysitter.

[197] So I said, hold on, hold on.

[198] They were getting angry at me that I didn't know the plot line correctly, and we had been listening to the music.

[199] And they were like, but what does it mean when she says that?

[200] So I FaceTime to Dina, and we all sat down in the middle of the store.

[201] And Adina attempted to clarify the plot.

[202] You did do pretty good.

[203] It's kind of hard when I just jump in after how many years.

[204] Right.

[205] I was like, wait, so when you finally got to Oz, and you broke it down, it's very helpful.

[206] And Delta's like, so thanks for doing that.

[207] Do you still get asked tons of questions about Wicked?

[208] Yeah, not plot.

[209] That's a rare occurrence for someone wants the nitty gritties of the second act.

[210] Well, here's something that's funny from my point of view that happened, is that, I don't know how long did you do that show, 15 months maybe?

[211] Yeah, and a year and a half, and then I went to the West End.

[212] did it before you did that in the second to last show of the run you think this is funny not to you at all as is never the case when someone eat shit but you had a like scary accident yeah second to last show yeah you're thinking you're out there for a couple victory laps i got to imagine right you've already won the tony at this point for it many months already final weekend families in town they're going to throw me a farewell party, everything.

[213] And it was emotional because that was a very transformative time in my career, in my life, everything.

[214] Yeah, there's this place on the stage where towards the end of the show, Elphaba, the Wicked Witch, quote unquote, melts behind a scrim in theater talk that's like a sheet that they bounce light off and shadows and cool stuff.

[215] It's a on this sort of two by two square on the floor, which actually was a floor that would descend.

[216] It was like a little elevator thing.

[217] Trapped door.

[218] Trapped door.

[219] Sorry, thank you.

[220] Dorothy would throw water and you'd see it in a shadow, so it was very abstract and cool.

[221] And I would have to literally go, ah, I'm melting.

[222] That kind of look, like physicality.

[223] You couldn't hear me going melting.

[224] But, you know, and I do that.

[225] Oh, so you actually wouldn't.

[226] You wouldn't scream, I'm melting.

[227] No. You added that for the listener.

[228] Okay, perfect.

[229] That's good.

[230] It is an audio show.

[231] I appreciate that.

[232] You know, usually the floor would go down, like five feet.

[233] So I'd go down, down, down, down, down.

[234] Some crew guy would be there to welcome me and make sure it was safe.

[235] And it was on automation, so like a computerized thing that triggers it to go down.

[236] That night, somebody was subbing out.

[237] They had moved that queue up.

[238] Oh, no. You know, so it was already down.

[239] So it was an empty hole.

[240] Oh, my gosh.

[241] And it's dark.

[242] You can't see.

[243] So I just stepped into it.

[244] No. And I fell, but I fell.

[245] I hit the side.

[246] my ribs on the side so I was hanging like head above strong arms holding like feet dangling and so then they pulled me out up on the stage not down I unmelted I'm reconstituting I'm solidified you know what twist and melted is no frozen frozen oh my gosh wow wow wow so then they pulled me out I really thought I had punctured my lungs Because they say when you break your ribs, you can.

[247] Because I really was having a hard time breathing.

[248] And so all the crew guys, I'd known them for so long.

[249] And I used to play poker with them between shows and matinee days.

[250] I mean, they were my guys.

[251] And I'm saying guys because they were all guys.

[252] So I'm laying there, I'm in full green makeup.

[253] In my act two dress, I found out later at the time, this is 20 years ago.

[254] It was worth like $18 ,000.

[255] I'll say why I found that out.

[256] So I'm laying on the ground.

[257] I hear them go, is there a doctor?

[258] in the house, like the whole stereotypical thing.

[259] They were all standing around me. It was almost like I was having a baby and all the crew guys, like, you're going to be okay, yeah.

[260] Come on.

[261] Were you underneath the stage at this point?

[262] No, no. They were on stage.

[263] They placed her out of the hall.

[264] You're on stage.

[265] They paused the show.

[266] Yes, they pause the show.

[267] And is there a doctor in the house?

[268] Everyone's around me. Joby, my best friend, kind of like Monica, my dresser from every show I've ever done.

[269] And then who became my assistant.

[270] She was there.

[271] The doctor came up.

[272] audience.

[273] From the audience.

[274] So we don't really know that he's a doctor or she's a doctor.

[275] It could be anyone that's a psychiatrist.

[276] Come me to Dina Madel.

[277] Oh, it would be a doctor.

[278] It'd be me. I don't know.

[279] It's like, okay, there aren't any doctors, but I know a pretty good deal about this stuff.

[280] And it's Bono.

[281] I might as well go help Bono tonight.

[282] Long story short.

[283] All I was concerned about I remember was the fact that they were going to wheel me out in a gurney and they were going to be paparazzi fans out there and see me in like green makeup with my wig kind of like and the expensive dress.

[284] which then I asked when we got to the host hotel to the hospital.

[285] I said, they tried to turn me in traction, I guess.

[286] Is that what you call it?

[287] Like, so they wouldn't move my spine.

[288] I remember these three big guys, they asked at the hospital, like, turned me over.

[289] And I said, fuck that.

[290] They're making billions of dollars this show.

[291] Just cut me out of this fucking world.

[292] And so I was like, well, Joby, actually, who was my dresser, knew what things were worth and actually really cares about the clothing.

[293] Good for her.

[294] She was like, well, it is a very expensive dress.

[295] I was like, took this fucking thing off.

[296] Yeah, whatever.

[297] You're, like, dying.

[298] And then I felt like we were the red tent or something where all the women came around with a bowl of nutrigena and water so they could try to get the green off of me as the morphine was going into my body.

[299] You're in the ER and in the ER.

[300] I'm waiting to be taken into X -rays.

[301] By the way, someone's there because they've consumed too many drugs.

[302] That's standard in an ER.

[303] Oh, yeah, someone else.

[304] It's standard.

[305] New York City?

[306] Yeah, of course.

[307] 12, 13 people in the waiting room were having too much.

[308] I know.

[309] They watched a monster go by.

[310] Literally somebody was like, I got to see someone.

[311] I think I'm dead.

[312] Oh, my God.

[313] Exactly.

[314] Well, and the stupid jokes that everyone made, including my father, who was in town.

[315] So he came and was like, oh, you're not looking too good, honey.

[316] Really, thank you, Daddy.

[317] Then the other thing is my ex, you know, is Tay Digg.

[318] So he was in a movie at the time, so nobody could find him.

[319] And he finally comes in, and all of these nurses freaked out that he showed up.

[320] And they were reeling me to the X -ray area.

[321] And they literally dropped the files, the clipboards or whatever.

[322] They left me in the middle of the hallway and they start waking out about him.

[323] Oh, my God.

[324] And I said, look, ladies, if you could just finish up with me, I will make sure that you get to meet my husband.

[325] You were like, ladies, I get it.

[326] But after 12 years, you'll get past it.

[327] Let's get these extras going.

[328] And then they following up me out of the dress.

[329] I found that I had just broken one rib and the doctor gave us instructions for what to do.

[330] We get home and the perk set or the Vicodan, I don't remember when it was.

[331] And then she said, so just get her dressed and you can bring her home.

[332] And I was like, get dressed and what?

[333] I came here in a fucking witch's costume.

[334] I had no clothes.

[335] So they put me in scrubs.

[336] Scrubs and scrubs.

[337] Some parborati saw him you high off my ass with scrubs on.

[338] Wow.

[339] A little bit of green.

[340] I'm treating green because it doesn't come off unless you really do a good steamy shower with a proper cleanser.

[341] Oh, my God.

[342] Yeah.

[343] To tie it all together, then the next day, it could barely move.

[344] And then the director, producer, all said, look, we really want to send you off and have some closure.

[345] Can you get to the theater?

[346] We want to at least bring you out for the curtain call.

[347] We wanted to say something to you.

[348] And I was like, I'll try.

[349] And, you know, you can't fart or pee or shave your legs.

[350] You're a rib to start, like, you start getting spasters and heart, laughing.

[351] And so table at me. because he's such a good dresser, is always thinking, style.

[352] He buys me this red Adidas track suit so that it was soft and easy to kind of put on.

[353] So that you'd look like Tony Soprano, yeah.

[354] He thought, you know what, she should definitely look like Tony Soprano for the end of this wicked thing.

[355] So that's how I came out.

[356] My lovely cover came out of the show in the last two minutes at the exact time where I had fallen.

[357] And so just when she's supposed to come back a lot, remember now I'm descending and it's like I melted and everyone thinks I'm dead.

[358] But at the end, you find out she's not dead.

[359] She ran away with her scarecrow lover.

[360] Spoiler alert, if you're thinking about going back to 2003 and seeing Wicked.

[361] That's it.

[362] That's what had you in Delta so confused.

[363] She graciously allowed me to steal the end of her show to come back on stage in my red track suit.

[364] The place goes crazy.

[365] I can't even sing because you can't project.

[366] You can't do any sound.

[367] Although you're pretty bumped up on perks.

[368] You can do more than you shit.

[369] So the end you go, because I knew you.

[370] And I couldn't sing it.

[371] So I was like, because I knew.

[372] Oh, wow.

[373] Is that Phantom of the Opera?

[374] How is that Phantom of the Opera?

[375] I've never seen it, but isn't there a Phantom?

[376] No, isn't the guy like, Ha, Zah, Barma, Phantom?

[377] He doesn't know anything about musical.

[378] I don't know a lot about music.

[379] But presumably, the Phantom sings in a deep voice.

[380] He does.

[381] You should have heard the last fact check when I was saying something about Frida Cowlo.

[382] And he said, oh, isn't that the person who sings, don't cry for me, Argentina.

[383] Oh my God.

[384] Evita?

[385] Yeah.

[386] I was confusing my Selma Hayek.

[387] Yeah.

[388] Sama Hayek.

[389] We took like six minutes for you to try to figure it out when I was like, that's the paint.

[390] She was in Frida.

[391] Okay.

[392] Frida, yeah.

[393] Oh, Madonna was.

[394] Madonna.

[395] Don't cry for me. Go unclose on Broadway, right?

[396] Very confused.

[397] Close on Broadway?

[398] Wasn't she?

[399] Patty Lepone.

[400] Oh, sorry.

[401] Patty Lippon.

[402] Oh, my God.

[403] Oh, my God.

[404] That was like saying.

[405] Cut that.

[406] You know what that was like?

[407] Someone going like, yeah, no, the three guard for the bulls.

[408] Yeah, Michael Jordan.

[409] That's how deep nerd it got.

[410] Scottie Pippman, no, Jordan was.

[411] Sorry, sister.

[412] Anyway, did the red track suit, came out, was lovely, gave me flowers.

[413] They said all these beautiful things.

[414] I went to the closing party.

[415] They threw for me. I sat in a banquet as people came up to me, and I don't remember any of that.

[416] Again, very Tony Soprano style.

[417] Just sit and have them approach and ask for favors.

[418] And then apparently this red track suit became a thing because just a couple nights ago, I had my release party for my disco album.

[419] I have out called Drama Queen.

[420] And instead of me having to perform at it, it was out in a Brooklyn gay club called $3 bill.

[421] We had all these drag queens perform my stuff.

[422] My new stuff on the album, which was amazing and generous of them because they had to learn the lyrics.

[423] But then some of the other things that I've sung.

[424] And one of them came out in a red track suit.

[425] Oh, that's a lot of that.

[426] Oh, my God, maybe I'll go as you for Halloween.

[427] But people don't know what that is.

[428] But if they know, they know.

[429] Red tracks suit, percocet.

[430] A little bit of green.

[431] I'll break one of your ribs for you.

[432] Yeah, exactly.

[433] That's the story.

[434] That's a story.

[435] But you got an enormously longstanding ovation.

[436] I have to imagine that's the most comfortable you've ever been on stage in a track suit on percassette.

[437] Yeah.

[438] I wish I could sing those notes and be high all the.

[439] it doesn't happen.

[440] You can still sing all the notes.

[441] I can sing all the notes.

[442] Not like right now.

[443] Yesterday you pulled it out of your butt.

[444] I had just finished going in the bathroom, by the way.

[445] I literally.

[446] Good acoustics in the toilet room.

[447] And then I was sitting there.

[448] Well, you killed it.

[449] I was doing Spelling Bee on New York Times, the game that I'm obsessed with now.

[450] And then I said, oh, right, Kristen needs.

[451] Chris is badgering me to make an audio file.

[452] So I did that.

[453] And I had to make sure the flusher had stopped jingling.

[454] But it sounds.

[455] sounded so good.

[456] Yeah, but it was low.

[457] It was happy birthday.

[458] It was down there.

[459] Yeah, but it was so beautiful.

[460] And then Groff responds with, Great job, Dina.

[461] What the fuck?

[462] Like, why are you making us all look back?

[463] Because I needed audio recordings for Yorma Tocom's little girl.

[464] And I thought you said sing happy birthday.

[465] You me and Jonathan sang, Josh didn't sing.

[466] What did Josh do?

[467] He did go summer.

[468] He said, I'm all often.

[469] I like warm hugs.

[470] And I heard it's your birthday.

[471] And everyone's talking about it.

[472] And then I hope you have a great birthday and also a great ending to my favorite season.

[473] Summer.

[474] That's great.

[475] That's great.

[476] That's my Josh.

[477] That's good.

[478] Wait, we have two singers in the room, so I want to address happy birthday, because now that's a ding, ding, ding.

[479] Kristen has a lot of opinions about happy birthday, and I wonder if you have the same opinions.

[480] Oh, God, what?

[481] Is it a triggering song for you?

[482] Let's start there.

[483] Not that song.

[484] There's many triggering songs.

[485] I have so much beef with happy birthday.

[486] It happened yesterday.

[487] Why?

[488] Literally yesterday.

[489] It's not the song, okay?

[490] It's not the notes or the libretto.

[491] Cut that out when I snort it.

[492] We're going to turn it up.

[493] Here's my problem with happy birthday.

[494] The people singing it.

[495] Okay.

[496] And let me get specific.

[497] Everybody starts it way too high.

[498] So you start here, happy birthday to you, happy birthday to you, happy birthday to you, happy bird.

[499] You're fucked.

[500] Do you know what I'm saying?

[501] And you fucked.

[502] And if you're the person that starts the happy birthday, fucked everybody.

[503] There's no right key for everybody.

[504] No, but you still have to start.

[505] I think like an alto version of it is great.

[506] Good for everyone.

[507] Can I interject and just say that's a bit of a red herring?

[508] The real problem that you find is insufferable.

[509] It's everywhere.

[510] It's all my shirt.

[511] It looks like I went down on a donkey.

[512] Okay.

[513] I love you, Adina.

[514] You've got a good sense of you.

[515] You're allowing me to let my other side rip.

[516] Anyway, this is the real objection.

[517] It's the tempo for her.

[518] She hates how slow it goes.

[519] She also has it in her mind as if there's an official version that she's consulting.

[520] In her mind, this is the speed of happy birthday.

[521] Happy birthday to you.

[522] You've already started too high.

[523] Okay.

[524] Here is the official tempo and the official key.

[525] Happy birthday to you.

[526] Happy birthday to you.

[527] Happy birthday, dear Dina.

[528] Happy birthday to you.

[529] Otherwise, you're in no man's land and you go, happy birthday.

[530] I'm with you on this.

[531] There's a middle ground.

[532] But you're waiting for everybody else, but no one finds the middle ground.

[533] And then it's too long.

[534] I'm always the loudest in the group because I start the key really low and I keep the tempo.

[535] Oh, my God.

[536] You're my son and my stars.

[537] The setting sun, the rising moon.

[538] You're everything.

[539] You're like an alcoholic parent who's about to tip.

[540] And everyone's just feeling the vibe in the room like, oh, God.

[541] As soon as anyone has to sing happy birthday, I'm like, oh, God, here we go.

[542] Because of Kristen.

[543] You're so codependent.

[544] I mean, I don't know if you're co -dependent.

[545] I'm projecting my own stuff.

[546] I fight it.

[547] No, I do.

[548] But we sang it to my sister yesterday, the whole family, on a video.

[549] And us three are fine with happy birthday to you.

[550] And in the back, you hear, she's just four beats ahead of us.

[551] And I know it's driving her crazy.

[552] And it's definitely driving me crazy because we're in no man's land, as you pointed out.

[553] We started in no man's land.

[554] That's what you don't understand.

[555] stand.

[556] I find it helpful.

[557] The version you sang sounds aggressive and like you're in a hurry and you don't want to relish in my birthday.

[558] Let's beat it with she's soul.

[559] Not if everyone's singing together.

[560] Happy birthday to you.

[561] Happy birthday to you.

[562] There's going to be people slowing it down if we're in a big group.

[563] So the temple will naturally get slower.

[564] I'm accounting for that.

[565] Then let me ask you this.

[566] Do you think that it's okay if if I'm not rushing everybody, could I at least while you guys start singing like start singing and I'll do something maybe it's more background, ready?

[567] Okay, you're ready.

[568] Happy birthday to you.

[569] Happy birthday.

[570] No, no, no. Oh, you think that's an improvement?

[571] I think that giving you a beat might help.

[572] You wanted us to go to the beat or we were trying to show how off -putting it is.

[573] I wanted you to be it.

[574] Naturally go to the beat because I know that's what your molecule is like to do.

[575] I just think it's helpful to have a conductor.

[576] The question is, though, do you have strong convictions about happy birthday or is it you're pretty loose about it i just let people be free especially if they're not singers don't make them uncomfortable you're like the easiest person in the world i don't even try to sing harmony at the end because i don't want to show off that's not fair everyone wants you to show off that's when you know you're like world class and brilliant is like you're self -conscious that you're so fucking good right i don't want to blast everybody here same thing with karaoke it's not your place i don't to it.

[577] I have a microphone all the time, unless you give me a couple drinks.

[578] Then I do proud Mary.

[579] But most of the time, it's like, it's your turn in the spotlight.

[580] Yeah.

[581] I think that's generous.

[582] Unless you desperately want to do and you're robbing yourself of the pleasure of it.

[583] I never really want to.

[584] I just get so conflicted because I'm like, please sing.

[585] And then I don't want to be a bitch about it.

[586] But I really never want to sing unless I'm in my zone.

[587] Yes.

[588] You've prepared and you've done.

[589] on everything mentally you want to do.

[590] Maybe it's the perfectionist, too.

[591] I just don't want it to come off bad, especially in this day and age to be caught coming off badly.

[592] Correct me if I'm wrong.

[593] I've now known you for 10 years.

[594] You guys did that movie 10 years ago.

[595] On the spectrum of introvert, extrovert, you're not very extroverted, are you?

[596] You're saying no. No, no, no. But I go on stage, and I'm very big, and I take lots of risks, and I'm not introverted on stage.

[597] I know.

[598] I am funnier.

[599] on stage than I am in my real life.

[600] I have my alter ego.

[601] Right.

[602] But there's many people like you in their performance or in their art, they're extremely, you have to be extroverted to act or to sing or to do anything.

[603] But then when they're not doing that, they feel much more comfortable just being a little more quiet.

[604] I think that's pretty darn common in our business.

[605] I'm also just tired of myself.

[606] You are.

[607] You know, I'm just exhausted of my own self.

[608] my own neuroses, my own voice, both inner, saboteur, and singing voice.

[609] Yeah.

[610] I feel like you feel a little extroverted today.

[611] Well, I'm on.

[612] But that's what I'm saying.

[613] It's not like one thing's more authentic than the other.

[614] Right.

[615] I'm turning it on.

[616] This is so weird that I'm saying this on the microphone.

[617] I don't, when I say I'm turning it on, it doesn't mean I'm not being.

[618] No, it doesn't mean you're not being authentic.

[619] I'm also very comfortable in here.

[620] You can be both things.

[621] I wanted to come up so I could say hi to you and also to make you feel comfortable because it's not like you've spent a ton of alone time with Dax and Monica.

[622] But I would have found that for myself.

[623] Okay, well then I'm going to let you.

[624] No, no. No, I mean, seriously.

[625] I wanted you here for one question.

[626] I love her for a little bit.

[627] But I wanted you guys for one question together because you must acknowledge that you two share one of the rarest and weirdest most specific and unique experiences, which is to be the two princesses in this unnamed musical for it to be such a global experience.

[628] You two are it.

[629] Like, you can look at each other and go like, mm -hmm, it's weird when you drive down the road on Halloween and 80 % the people you see out there are dressed like your sister.

[630] Not a lot of honors out there.

[631] Is that what you were just saying?

[632] Yes.

[633] Well, 90 % of the costumes were, Elsa.

[634] Which I love.

[635] Kristen is just looking at old videos of the girls and there's one where Delta and I are role -playing.

[636] We're playing that movie.

[637] And she's like, I'm Elsa.

[638] I'm Elsa, I'm Elsa.

[639] And then Monica's frozen.

[640] And Delta's doing this thing where she's going up to her face very, very close, and putting her hands out on Monica's cheeks, just about to kiss her.

[641] And then she pulls away.

[642] Oh, the anticipation.

[643] Very dramatically.

[644] And then we're all going kiss her, Elsa.

[645] It's a true love's kiss.

[646] Save her.

[647] And Delta is milking the biggest cow you've ever seen.

[648] And just keep saying, I'm Elsa.

[649] How did that make you feel?

[650] I'm used to it, and it does not bother me in the slightest, because I fancy myself a team player, and I mean that genuinely.

[651] I don't know if you remember these texts, but for two years in a row, when my oldest was really little, she wanted to be Elsa, and everybody did.

[652] I said, great, that's perfect.

[653] I'll be Anna.

[654] I mean, it'll be weird.

[655] I'll be like very meta, but I'm into it.

[656] And she said, no, I need you to match me. This is for Halloween.

[657] Yes, for Halloween.

[658] It was very, very important to her.

[659] So for two years in a row, I dressed as Elsa, which was like just a brain scramble.

[660] Oh, my gosh.

[661] But I don't mind it.

[662] I still have my Elsa dress upstairs.

[663] I see lots of onnas out there.

[664] By the way, I wanted to call her Anna for a long time because I'm an East Coast, Long Island girl.

[665] It's still uncomfortable for me to say Anna.

[666] I don't say Aunt Kara like my sister.

[667] I say Anne.

[668] Same.

[669] You know, so to say Anna is uncomfortable for me till this day.

[670] I wouldn't be uncomfortable dressing us, her.

[671] she's so much cooler honestly she's just how much funnier i'd rather date on a she sounds like way more fun right you're like where are you at girl you're singing and aware you're what you're making an ice palace let's get something to eat yeah you almost don't with this ice serious yeah we all let it go so join us now at lunch get over it but the experience that you had to have had and i wanted to see if you guys could commiserate on it and i've been able to observe it most of the times it happens which is we're somewhere in public we're at a restaurant And you can see them from across the room.

[672] You know it's coming.

[673] You got a parent, usually mom, she's got a kid or two with her, and she's bringing those kids over to meet, not Kristen, to meet Anna.

[674] It's traumatizing.

[675] They introduce the children to Kristen.

[676] This is Princess Anna.

[677] And the parents assume they're going to be so excited about this, but the kids are so confused.

[678] Totally.

[679] No, no, Prince Anna is a cartoon character.

[680] This has happened to you nonstop.

[681] And the kids are never delighted, right?

[682] Yeah.

[683] I think it's good intentioned, but they don't realize how messy it is.

[684] I find there's like an age limit of when they can understand it.

[685] And it's about seven.

[686] And if it's prior to seven, the kid's bullshit detector is going to go off because their brains are going to start to malfunction and look at their parent and go, she's telling me this person is a cartoon and this person is not a cartoon.

[687] And in my case, there's like a brunette older lady.

[688] Looks completely different.

[689] There's lots of lines on her case and little Botox in her form.

[690] That doesn't look like, Elsa.

[691] Have you had bad experiences with that, or how do you handle it?

[692] Because I know how I handle it, but I would love to know how you handle it.

[693] When they start crying, I just...

[694] You just walk away.

[695] I just say, I know, honey.

[696] I'm a scary old lady.

[697] It's okay, Mom.

[698] You can take her away now.

[699] Nice to meet you.

[700] You know what I've done?

[701] This is cool of me, I think.

[702] I say, close your eyes.

[703] And then I go in there and I say, Have you seen Anna over in Arendale?

[704] And then I sing the snow goes white a little bit.

[705] Oh, that's very nice.

[706] And do they then connect?

[707] They do a little smile.

[708] I mean, I'm saying they, like it's been a million kids.

[709] It's like maybe one or two.

[710] Recently I've done that.

[711] Stay tuned for more armchair expert.

[712] If you dare.

[713] We've all been there.

[714] Turning to the internet to self -diagnose our inexplicable pains, debilitating body aches, sudden fevers, and strange rashes.

[715] Though our minds tend to spiral to worst -case scenarios, it's usually nothing, but for an unlucky few, these unsuspecting symptoms can start the clock ticking on a terrifying medical mystery.

[716] Like the unexplainable death of a retired firefighter, whose body was found at home by his son, except it looked like he had been cremated or the time when an entire town started jumping from buildings and seeing tigers on their ceilings.

[717] Hey listeners, it's Mr. Ballin here, and I'm here to tell you about my podcast.

[718] It's called Mr. Ballin's Medical Mysteries.

[719] Each terrifying true story will be sure to keep you up at night.

[720] Follow Mr. Ballin's Medical Mysteries wherever you get your podcasts.

[721] Prime members can listen early and ad -free on Amazon Music.

[722] What's up, guys?

[723] This is your girl Kiki, and my podcast is back with a new season.

[724] And let me tell you, it's too good.

[725] And I'm diving into the brains of entertainment's best and brightest, okay?

[726] Every episode, I bring on a friend and have a real conversation.

[727] And I don't mean just friends.

[728] I mean the likes of Amy Polar, Kell Mitchell, Vivica Fox.

[729] The list goes on.

[730] So follow, watch, and listen to Baby.

[731] This is Kiki Palmer on the Wondery app or wherever you get your podcast.

[732] Yeah, that's what I guess I was most interested in you, too, commiserating about.

[733] Well, you have a shared bond.

[734] it's like the Marvel universe.

[735] Only they will understand that.

[736] And you guys are the only ones that will understand this.

[737] I would take any day of the week, the weirdness that parents give us around their kids for like what a superpower it is.

[738] It's like you've got this huge squirt gun of joy that you're able to just fire at will.

[739] Like yesterday when there was a friend's kid and I just texted all three of you like, hey, take 10 seconds and say happy birthday.

[740] And we all did it because we all do it every time.

[741] Right.

[742] I get these requests.

[743] time.

[744] Can you make a video for my kid or bar mitzvah mazelta video or we're getting married or whatever?

[745] So but when Kristen does it for the last how many years, she always says just an audio and I go, is that all you want?

[746] I'm happy to do a video.

[747] And it just occurred to me. The first time after 10 years while I was sitting on the toilet that, oh, of course Kristen's smart.

[748] Why would we do a video that will traumatize the child?

[749] Just send an audio message.

[750] Also, I ain't trying to pull this for teenagers.

[751] Do you know what I'm saying?

[752] Teenagers are privileged.

[753] We know this.

[754] All of them.

[755] Every single one.

[756] Entitled.

[757] But if there's a two, three, four, five -year -old kid, I'm always down.

[758] Do you remember when I probably shouldn't say that?

[759] That's really bad.

[760] Well, now you must.

[761] Monica can cut it up.

[762] Or you can tell me. There was, there's no way to know what merch it was.

[763] I needed some stuff signed from you guys.

[764] And I thought it would be so much easier if I just did it.

[765] And so I nailed it.

[766] Yeah.

[767] Instead of sending it to you guys and having everyone have to forward, like, you send it to Josh and then send it to Jonathan.

[768] So I just signed, I don't know, five or ten posters with all of our names.

[769] Wow.

[770] Yeah.

[771] Well, I signed a few things on you.

[772] I mean, I thought about doing that.

[773] You did, yeah, for you.

[774] But not, I don't think, like, charity.

[775] Not for charity.

[776] But they used to have stamps.

[777] Yeah, that's what you need stamp.

[778] But they don't give us.

[779] They're out of both.

[780] You can always tell, like, when you get a letter from someone.

[781] Yeah.

[782] That's a stamp.

[783] Though I also notice this to brag a little bit, like Julie Andrews wrote me a thank you for being on her children's show once.

[784] And it was a full -on stationary in her loopy big handwriting.

[785] That's a frame of.

[786] You know, like a real thank you letter that we don't even write anymore because we email.

[787] Did you frame that?

[788] I didn't.

[789] Okay, wonderful.

[790] Julie Andrews, a letter from all the U -2 guys from the Oscars that year because they were nominated the same year.

[791] year.

[792] As the Travolta.

[793] Yes.

[794] The big year.

[795] And so does the letter?

[796] Like, we love being in the same category.

[797] It was just so cool.

[798] Bono is the one man. I've always wanted to duet with that.

[799] He's your celebrity crush?

[800] Kind of, yeah.

[801] Oh, my God.

[802] I think Kristen can make this happen because he's been trying to bang her for about eight years now.

[803] He has not been trying to.

[804] Oh, he hasn't?

[805] No. We worked together.

[806] You know, he sent me a couple birthday things.

[807] Once you work together.

[808] We have done.

[809] the Red show on Jimmy Kimmel a couple years in a row.

[810] They put together this big show to raise money for Red.

[811] And for some reason, I was the only person that consistently came, like, four or five years in a row.

[812] So I ended up kind of knowing how.

[813] So just like I was conducting happy birthday.

[814] This is exactly how we can make this happen.

[815] Because we have, we got it all dialed in over at Kimmel.

[816] I would do it.

[817] We should love him so much.

[818] Well, I was just going to say, I'm so grateful for you to come up and share this.

[819] And this is very cringy.

[820] I like being inextricably attached.

[821] Oh, what could be cringy about that?

[822] To this lady for the rest of our lives.

[823] When we're 90 and we're like singing our songs an octave or two lower, and we sound like we smoke lucky strikes.

[824] You'll be on.

[825] No one will hire us, but we're in Vegas and we're singing it, honey.

[826] We've got to do it.

[827] I see you guys on the deck of an aircraft carrier where they wheel you out in the wheelchairs and the soldiers salute you and stuff.

[828] I've actually already thought this through, and I've pitched this to you once before.

[829] When we get very old and we really want to retire with a send -off, I'm thinking we develop a musical version of whatever happened to baby Jane.

[830] Oh, yes.

[831] I know.

[832] I've thought of this recently.

[833] And then we just do it on Broadway for however many months our old bones will let us.

[834] But we don't have to be old for that.

[835] We could start writing it now.

[836] Sure, but I think we have to be older, no. Right, but how old were they?

[837] You always think people are.

[838] That's a great point.

[839] I'm older than you, though, because I've got 10 years on you.

[840] Look it up for me, Rob, so I don't step in it.

[841] But remember, Coon.

[842] Yeah.

[843] Wilford Brimley was like 52 playing up a retired grandpa.

[844] How old did you think they were?

[845] They're not.

[846] They were like 40.

[847] Yes.

[848] That's upsetting.

[849] Maybe 50.

[850] Yeah.

[851] It seemed like they were in an old age retirement complex.

[852] Well, they were all living together.

[853] We were in the 80s.

[854] You two would be playing great grandmas on TV right now.

[855] I'm so excited for that.

[856] How old is he?

[857] It's about 50.

[858] 50.

[859] Fifty.

[860] Wilford Brimley and Coon.

[861] Remember he's an old -time.

[862] over the hill.

[863] I love you.

[864] I will be there.

[865] I'm glad I got to see you.

[866] Thank you for making this introvert more comfortable.

[867] Okay, love you.

[868] Love you.

[869] All right, now let's talk about it.

[870] Oh, yeah.

[871] What a bitch.

[872] What a bitch.

[873] I can't believe you got through that.

[874] I don't know how you deal with her.

[875] We're stuck with her, right?

[876] You and I both.

[877] And me. That's right.

[878] And you too.

[879] Yeah.

[880] You could leave.

[881] You do have the option to leave.

[882] Well, she's permanently stuck with this franchise.

[883] That's true.

[884] You know what I'm saying?

[885] Wow, I didn't know the freedom I had.

[886] Yeah, you have autonomy still.

[887] We don't have, we've lost our autonomy.

[888] Wait, but you drop two things that we definitely have to hit on.

[889] You said neuroses and you said codependence.

[890] Oh, gosh.

[891] We got to get into those things.

[892] Two very Jewish things to talk about.

[893] Big old things.

[894] Can we start at the beginning?

[895] This will be a fun reverse order, but that's okay.

[896] This show's a very skeddy wampus.

[897] Can we start in Long Island?

[898] Sure.

[899] I've read a lot of people's parents' occupation.

[900] And I've never in my life read Pajama salesman.

[901] What?

[902] I think that's spectacular.

[903] Is that true?

[904] Yeah, totally true.

[905] Okay, he would go to what department stores?

[906] Kmart, Target, JCPenney.

[907] He always tells people that's what helped put me through college, where the buyers from those stores.

[908] And it wasn't his own company.

[909] He was the salesman.

[910] Wow.

[911] And was it like linen ones?

[912] It was everything.

[913] It was Fides.

[914] Oh.

[915] We're beautiful.

[916] There's a fancy name for it.

[917] And I'm forgetting now where it's like silk, groves.

[918] There's baby dolls.

[919] Do you remember what those are like little shorts kind of things?

[920] Is it fair to guess that you were very well appointed with pajamas?

[921] Droars were just overflowing over with pajamas.

[922] Wow.

[923] What is niche?

[924] I would have really rather had an extra pair of Jordash or Sassoon jeans.

[925] Yes.

[926] Jordash has come up on here a few times.

[927] Yes.

[928] Yeah.

[929] Funny.

[930] You needed to befriend a daughter or son of the Jordash Empire and trade.

[931] I got a ton of jammies over here.

[932] I'm trying to get her at unload.

[933] But mom was a therapist?

[934] Not always.

[935] She had never gone to college.

[936] So she went to college and got her degree.

[937] Another thing with the ages, because I always think there.

[938] I think she was only in her early 30s.

[939] They were so young when they met, they were 14, and they got married 18 and 20, had me at 21.

[940] Mom came to that a little later in her life.

[941] Post -divorce?

[942] Post -divorce.

[943] So she was like, it's now my time to create the life I dreamed about.

[944] Yeah.

[945] Yeah, although he always supported her in that way.

[946] He actually used to type her papers when she went back to school, yeah.

[947] He was always very supportive of her in that way.

[948] It's just back then the women did what they thought they were supposed to do.

[949] And she would say she didn't even breastfeed me because my dad's sister frowned upon it.

[950] And, you know, back then people were weirded out.

[951] My mom was pressured into not breastfeeding with my brother and I. It was like the movement at that time.

[952] Attachment issues between sort of hurt because of that.

[953] She thinks I'm a nail biter because I didn't have the sucking.

[954] And you're recreating now for the rest of your life, this lost period of sucking.

[955] My oral fixations.

[956] Maybe that works for me, too, because I have a horrendous oral fixation.

[957] I was a smoker and a gum chewer, and now I dip.

[958] You know, you name it.

[959] I got mince all the time.

[960] So maybe she's right.

[961] Maybe she's right.

[962] And then grandma and grandpa are from Russia.

[963] Yes, except my dad just did a thing.

[964] And he says now there's Poland.

[965] But I'm told that's all the same and one and sort of everyone, especially the Jewish people, were always...

[966] Traipsing around the whole area.

[967] Were they uniquely foreign, though, when you would go over there?

[968] Did you feel their foreignness?

[969] Maybe my grandfather, Max, a little bit more.

[970] Nobody had an accent or anything like that.

[971] Oh, they didn't?

[972] No. The Bronx just beat it out of them.

[973] Yeah, too dangerous to have an accent in the Bronx.

[974] Yeah.

[975] Get called out.

[976] And then my mom's side, my grandpa, who was her father, another Russian Jew, I only had him around until I was six.

[977] And then he died.

[978] And I have, like, the fondest memories of him.

[979] He was really an integral part of my singing and being creative.

[980] Because he just would encourage you and he loved seeing it.

[981] Encourage me, storyteller, love to put on shows.

[982] I just remember it.

[983] And I was six where I was four or five, you know.

[984] And I remember him having a heart attack, being in the hospital.

[985] I remember my sister, actually, three years younger than me, was born and got Hooping Coff.

[986] And she and my mom had Hooping Coff.

[987] So I was at home, both my sister.

[988] sister, my mom were in the hospital for a whole month.

[989] Oh, my God.

[990] And so my dad was always with them in the hospital, and I was always with my grandpa.

[991] I think that's why it stayed with me so long because he was my guardian and we were just so close.

[992] And then my mom's mom, my grandma, Betty, was not with us anymore.

[993] She converted.

[994] All my dad's side just said my mom wasn't a real Jew.

[995] And she was very goyish and she's still blonde.

[996] Oh, she's a shik -sook.

[997] And then your little sister, how much younger is she?

[998] She's like three and a half years.

[999] younger.

[1000] She lives here now for the first time since COVID.

[1001] I stole her.

[1002] She's a elementary school teacher and a writer.

[1003] And she was getting all these families when we went into quarantine.

[1004] We're trying to hire her to do a pod.

[1005] She lived in Boulder, Colorado.

[1006] And I said, I think you need to come LA.

[1007] And so me and a couple of their mommy friends put our five kids with my sister over on Kenter Street rented her a house with a pool.

[1008] And they literally do math.

[1009] then jump in the pool.

[1010] We'd converted the pool house to a schoolhouse.

[1011] Yeah, she'd take them to the beach.

[1012] Is she married?

[1013] Uh -huh.

[1014] And then they loved being here.

[1015] So now they live here.

[1016] And she's an empty nester.

[1017] She's younger, but she had kids first.

[1018] She got married first.

[1019] She got divorced first.

[1020] Wow.

[1021] She did it all.

[1022] Yes, she did.

[1023] Thank you, Kara.

[1024] Eternally grateful.

[1025] Here's another thing I thought was really cute learning about you, because this is also Kristen's story, is performing all through high school.

[1026] at weddings and bot mitzvahs and bar mitzvahs.

[1027] I didn't know Kristen did that.

[1028] Yes, her and her friend Bob, funerals, they did some.

[1029] Really?

[1030] Did you ever dabble in any funerals?

[1031] I did not.

[1032] Okay.

[1033] Now, what would happen then when you would go to the bat mitzvahs and you could potentially see peers there?

[1034] No. Well, the ages are not.

[1035] You weren't singing professionally when you were 13?

[1036] I was singing when I was 15.

[1037] Oh, okay.

[1038] We're splitting hair, is that?

[1039] Only because I could illegally drive with my junior license.

[1040] Oh, sure.

[1041] Yeah.

[1042] So I probably did see people that were the older brothers and sisters.

[1043] It was very uncomfortable for me the few times with that happened.

[1044] When I was younger, I loved it.

[1045] I felt like the shit.

[1046] Here I am.

[1047] I'm singing for living.

[1048] I'm a professional singer.

[1049] I'm getting paid.

[1050] I would wear my mom's sexy cocktail dresses.

[1051] Baby dolls.

[1052] And I was just so proud of all of that.

[1053] I felt like such a big shot.

[1054] And I was learning and hanging out.

[1055] late at night with all these musicians and just really learning my craft.

[1056] And then as the years went on and I wasn't getting any breaks and I was still doing, I was getting a little more disgruntled and a little bit more sexually harassed by the band leader and more people not paying attention to something great that I had been doing that night.

[1057] That's when I started to feel like I wanted to get out of there.

[1058] And there were a bunch of times where then when there was someone in the audience that I knew if they would notice me, this could be a break, and they just could care less because their daughter was getting married or something.

[1059] Right.

[1060] That was really hard for me. This could be the night.

[1061] You get discovered.

[1062] Yeah, and I'd pull out, you know, Winnie Houston, some big ballad, greatest other people would call it, thinking this is it.

[1063] They're going to forever say they remembered me singing this song and nothing.

[1064] You know what that's a testament to?

[1065] What?

[1066] It's context.

[1067] It's unfortunate, but it's just unavoidably true that the person puts you immediately in some category, and that's that.

[1068] You could be Michael Jackson, but if you're at the bowling alley, and it's for St. Patty, you know, you're just the help.

[1069] And it's all framing in your mind.

[1070] Okay, this person's already on that trajectory.

[1071] Then they put the limbo stick in my hands, you know, hanging out there and waiting for some kids that, I mean.

[1072] I make their way under the limbo.

[1073] Oh, my God, it's like party down.

[1074] It's literally that.

[1075] It's horrible.

[1076] He just come up to you finally.

[1077] Oh, God, here he comes, the A &R.

[1078] Columbia.

[1079] Excuse me, you know where the bathroom is in here?

[1080] Yeah, exactly.

[1081] Have you been to the bathroom yet?

[1082] There was one time I remember too.

[1083] This is silly because it's not like Julie Robert is going to discover me, but it just felt like all my world's colliding.

[1084] And Julie Roberts was there with, what's the guy she dated?

[1085] Oh, Benjamin Brad?

[1086] No. She was married to him.

[1087] What's his name from?

[1088] Liam Neeson.

[1089] No, okay.

[1090] With Jennifer, Jason Lee, the movie about they were drug.

[1091] Oh, yes, Patrick.

[1092] Yes.

[1093] She was dating him.

[1094] Jason Patrick.

[1095] Very sexy man. Great movie, too.

[1096] Great movie.

[1097] Rush.

[1098] Rush, thank you.

[1099] She had been dating him.

[1100] But don't see it.

[1101] Don't watch Rush.

[1102] Oh, yeah, exactly.

[1103] They had come.

[1104] I think it was her friend from high school or something.

[1105] They were there.

[1106] They left early because she probably had to go do a movie or something.

[1107] That's what I'm saying.

[1108] In your head.

[1109] In my head, she had to get somewhere fabulous and here I'm doing this thing.

[1110] But I remember the groom and all of his frat boy friends were so drunk.

[1111] I was singing respect, Aretha Franklin.

[1112] So loved when they would let me sing the Motown stuff because I was really trying to hone my R &B and I was finding my soulful self and they came up drunk and took my mic and we're all like rubbing up against me and I was thinking Julia Roberts is here this is just a horrible it was just felt gross yeah yeah that was a bummer there were many there was a time where some guy just had a heart attack on the dance floor while you were singing and did you keep going it's horrible and then I had to because my bail leader said the show must go on type of thing.

[1113] Even if the host is dying in front of everyone.

[1114] Yeah.

[1115] And I used to tell the story.

[1116] And my manager at the time would say, don't say that he died.

[1117] It's just too dumb.

[1118] Like, maybe I embellished the story for so long that I'm lying.

[1119] No. Sounds like he probably passed.

[1120] My dad tells these stories from our childhood.

[1121] And like when I got super disgusting drunk in ninth grade and he had to carry me out of this house and I blacked out and I threw up all over him.

[1122] Every time he tells the story, it became he got stopped by a cop on the way home.

[1123] And my head was in his lap, and I was like, oh, my goodness.

[1124] He's always embellishing gets worse and worse, yes.

[1125] I was going to ask that since you were working young, were you drinking and were you outdoing, were you like naughty?

[1126] I wasn't that naughty.

[1127] What the fuck happened in ninth grade on this occasion?

[1128] I wasn't naughty when I was working.

[1129] I took that very seriously.

[1130] I was experimenting with things if I was at a friend's house.

[1131] Well, because I'm sure you felt much older than your age.

[1132] Yes.

[1133] Because you were, like, working.

[1134] Were you anxious to get out of the house and start your life?

[1135] Well, with the parents being divorced, I think I could get away with stuff a little bit more with my mom, my dad not being home as much.

[1136] Not because he didn't want to be there, but it was very common for a dad to only have Sundays during divorce, which is so weird.

[1137] They wouldn't even try.

[1138] Our schedule is every other weekend.

[1139] And then one of those two weekends, he would just take us to our grandparents' house so we could see them.

[1140] So it was really one weekend a month.

[1141] It was standard.

[1142] That was a dad who was still involved with this kid.

[1143] Totally.

[1144] That's why I'm saying.

[1145] By the 80s of metric, yeah.

[1146] So, yeah, he sees his kids on the weekends.

[1147] I mean, half the time, yeah.

[1148] You see him a good dad.

[1149] Exactly.

[1150] He's with them two days a month, easy.

[1151] No wonder they had all these families because they're only really doing still a third of them.

[1152] Yeah.

[1153] But when I went to NYU, he lived in Manhattan and he had the cool bachelor pad in Manhattan, which was fun.

[1154] The pajama house had gone well for me. Yes, it did actually.

[1155] Yeah.

[1156] That's great.

[1157] I mean, it was just a nice studio apartment or whatever.

[1158] But until recently, when I went back to my old home and it was tiny, I realized, I guess I thought we were rich when I was growing up.

[1159] And that's a testament to him and my mom.

[1160] And living out here, I think, God, was I poor?

[1161] Right.

[1162] I wasn't poor.

[1163] We were lower middle class, probably.

[1164] But I really didn't think of things that way.

[1165] The wealth out here and the kind of houses and even who I thought was super rich in Long Island were nothing compared to the stuff around here.

[1166] Just your perspective gets blown out.

[1167] of proportion.

[1168] It's so true.

[1169] My grandparents' house where we would spend those weekends and most of the summer.

[1170] It was like 1 ,300 square foot house.

[1171] House was huge to me because relative to the apartment, we would leave to go to it.

[1172] It was like, holy smokes.

[1173] And I had a yard.

[1174] Yeah.

[1175] They felt totally rich to me. Yeah.

[1176] They had soda in the fridge at all times.

[1177] He was a big tipper, my dad.

[1178] Always noticed that.

[1179] Well, he's a salesman.

[1180] And he would come to all my shows like rent and Wicked.

[1181] He must have seen the show 60 times, each of them.

[1182] It was like a cool thing for him to bring the buyers to me. Okay, so this is what we need to dive into a little bit.

[1183] Because one version of that is how sweet and supportive.

[1184] But my father, when he was alive, what I wrestled with sometimes was, is this about me or is this about you?

[1185] Like 60 times with clients, that didn't trigger you at all.

[1186] No, because I know him and he's got his other shit, but he's so proud.

[1187] I mean, till this day, if he flies out here, you don't even have to be talking to him and he will find a way to tell you that his daughter is all the things.

[1188] Now that may make him feel good about himself as a father that he produced someone that's doing something.

[1189] She let a rip like that when she opens her mouth, yeah.

[1190] I'd be very proud.

[1191] But I think it's definitely pride.

[1192] I guess you know what?

[1193] If you have a story already about your dad, it can confirm it.

[1194] So mine was, my dad was selfish and very selfishly motivated.

[1195] Drove a Corvette and lived in a nice house and we lived in a welfare apartment.

[1196] He kept the family home.

[1197] I don't have that story about him anymore, but I did.

[1198] And so, yeah, I would go, no, no, this is all about him.

[1199] Similarly, I called him one time and he answered the phone.

[1200] He goes, oh, good.

[1201] Talk to this woman.

[1202] That was how he said hello.

[1203] And then I hear a phone fumbling.

[1204] And then I hear, hello.

[1205] I'm like, hello.

[1206] Who's this?

[1207] Dax.

[1208] For real, the real Dax?

[1209] I'm like, I guess.

[1210] Hear the phone fumble.

[1211] I told you.

[1212] He's in Walmart arguing with a woman at that moment I called.

[1213] So he's using you to make himself look like a hot shot?

[1214] Yeah.

[1215] I wanted to take it as pride.

[1216] I wanted my father to be proud of me. And he was.

[1217] But I got hung up on, is he proud of me?

[1218] Or is he just pumped?

[1219] He's got some cultural capital now.

[1220] Yes.

[1221] And now I think I have much more understanding.

[1222] Like, yes, of course it's all things.

[1223] Yes.

[1224] You're right.

[1225] It's not either or.

[1226] For that particular subject, I'm sure there's other stuff that was shitty parenting.

[1227] Right, right, right.

[1228] But that one feels like they're allowed to be caught in the middle.

[1229] Well, they made you.

[1230] I feel like we try to make parenting so separate from ego, but it's not.

[1231] I mean, you made these people.

[1232] And so there's no way to.

[1233] As I say, invented.

[1234] You invented that.

[1235] There was no Lincoln or Delta.

[1236] I invented those two.

[1237] Exactly.

[1238] You did.

[1239] As an inventor, going to take some pride in when your invention goes off and does something cool.

[1240] When I flick on a light bulb, Edison smiles.

[1241] Well, what is the reason for having children?

[1242] I think it's also okay to say that because I think it's a lie to be like, like, oh, it's just this selfless act.

[1243] And it's not selfless, no. I didn't have the benefit of having kids before he died.

[1244] We were just about to have our first kid.

[1245] So a lot of these things through having kids, I've come to a lot more forgiving of the things I was judgmental of because now I have them.

[1246] And I just didn't have that experience.

[1247] I know.

[1248] That's sad.

[1249] Because, yes, you have them.

[1250] And all of a sudden you realize like, oh, my God, yeah, if Lincoln did anything or Delta did anything, when they do anything, I'm so proud.

[1251] It's ridiculous.

[1252] So, yeah, I'm guilty of it.

[1253] crowd and then also the projection, all the stuff that I realize I'm working out and trying not to work that out in front of him or don't want him to see me working in.

[1254] I want to be a different kind of role model, but kids can pick up on anything.

[1255] You can't even pretend that you're changing or you're doing something differently than your parents because they actually just clock everything.

[1256] Oh, they know the real you.

[1257] There's no. You have to let them grow up and know they're going to have issues with you no matter what.

[1258] So the whole time at NYU, you and your mom, mind, we're going to be a recording artist.

[1259] Because I had learned all this kind of music other than Broadway stuff.

[1260] When I was little, my parents would bring me in to see theater all the time.

[1261] And I wanted to do that.

[1262] And I studied classically when I was really young, I was singing arias.

[1263] And then when I started doing the weddings and realizing, oh, I actually have some grit.

[1264] And I liked all the different genres.

[1265] I was learning to sing all the jazz of Billy Holly, Ella Fitzgerald, the Whitney and the Madonna and the rock songs I was doing.

[1266] I was just getting such a great education.

[1267] Oh, and then my mom had one of her first boyfriends after my dad, who was very supportive of me, actually, said, you should start writing music.

[1268] That's where the real success comes in.

[1269] And then he knew some guy in a wedding band.

[1270] So he hooked me up.

[1271] So that's how it happened.

[1272] So then I started really wanting to be a recording artist and write songs.

[1273] Like pop.

[1274] At the time in 90, Alana's starting to come out, maybe a little bit after that.

[1275] But it was definitely in a more rock, goddess, soulful rock.

[1276] Power ballad.

[1277] Joplin.

[1278] I was listening all the old stuff.

[1279] Because I had a big voice.

[1280] So I have to figure out how to use it in a way that doesn't sound too theatrical.

[1281] It sounds like big and dynamic.

[1282] And so I'd listen to those singers like Shaka Khan.

[1283] So I'd listen to her in Aretha's upper range to listen like, how do they belt out these notes?

[1284] And it sounds effortless.

[1285] I'd try to emulate people like that.

[1286] And then I got into Annie Lennox.

[1287] But Barberstizing was my very first album that I ever owned.

[1288] And that was when I was young.

[1289] I listened to that because Grandma Betty, the one that's probably French.

[1290] The Shiksa.

[1291] The converted.

[1292] Yeah.

[1293] Let's call it what it is.

[1294] The betrayer of the fan.

[1295] Exactly.

[1296] The turncoat.

[1297] She took me to see a star as born, the one with Barbers Dyson and Chris Christopster.

[1298] And that was the first album vinyl I owned.

[1299] And I'd sit on my living room floor and look at all the pictures.

[1300] Helps that she's Jewish, too, right?

[1301] I guess so.

[1302] Because there weren't any huge iconic movie star singers that were Jewish yet.

[1303] I think you're right.

[1304] I never really thought about whether there was anyone else.

[1305] I think she gave, I think she was the first representation for a lot of young Jewish girls.

[1306] Wait.

[1307] Oh, we can be.

[1308] She might have been insecure about it, but she didn't change her nose was a big thing.

[1309] And a lot of Jewish girls out in Long Island is all about getting your nose job.

[1310] And so the rumor was she didn't do it because she feared that it would change the sound of her voice.

[1311] That's what I grew up learning.

[1312] Right?

[1313] Yes.

[1314] So I never even touched my nose because of that.

[1315] Oh, I want to snip ears to see if we can go even higher.

[1316] Can we do it?

[1317] I think if I give you a tiny ear nose, maybe we can get even higher.

[1318] I just want to narrow this out a little bit.

[1319] Like, fuck glass breaking.

[1320] I want drywall to crumble off walls when you hit the note.

[1321] I was learning how to snowboard so I could be a cool mom with Walker.

[1322] And I fell so hard.

[1323] You know how they tell you to fall, not on your wrists?

[1324] Fall kind of on your forearm.

[1325] So I fell my forearm so my fists were free to then punch myself in the face.

[1326] I don't know if I broke it or not.

[1327] Yeah, did you ever feel like I used to hope my nose would break?

[1328] So that it was like, while we're in.

[1329] in there, like, you can just smooth it out of it.

[1330] Yeah, exactly.

[1331] Yeah.

[1332] But I was just in awe of her voice.

[1333] There's something about effortless, rangy singers and how connected to whatever that is in their soul, whatever you believe, there's just something that just comes out of them that I just love.

[1334] So I was listening to all these different kind of music, and that's when I started to realize that I could write.

[1335] And then because of rent taking off and stuff, I was able to get a record deal and start working with people.

[1336] Although people would not welcome me into their recordings to do as like big time producers that were in the pop side of things because they just assumed she's a Broadway girl.

[1337] Even though it was a rock musical, they didn't really care.

[1338] But in their defense, I imagine there's been a very long history of Broadway stars trying to transition and they've been burned.

[1339] This new album that I have is my way of saying, please just listen with fresh ears.

[1340] You can have a big voice and sing disco or dance music.

[1341] That's what so much of it is.

[1342] These big, belty voices over the cool groove.

[1343] Yes.

[1344] I relate deeply in that there were things I wanted to be before I was an actor or comedian.

[1345] And sometimes when I'm now doing them in public, I get this weird insecurity.

[1346] Like racing when I was racing.

[1347] I think a lot of people were like, oh, great, another actor turned.

[1348] And I'm like, no, no, all I ever watched was a race car driver.

[1349] The comedy thing was definitely second to that.

[1350] Like, you're actually seeing my original desire.

[1351] Oh, I didn't know that about you.

[1352] Just in order of events.

[1353] It's like, I wanted to be a race car driver.

[1354] Why do they just have to box us in a one thing?

[1355] It blows and then also I'm guilty of it.

[1356] When let's say, who's our sexiest hottest star right now?

[1357] Charlemagne.

[1358] Timothy Shaliman.

[1359] Timothy Shaliman.

[1360] If he drops a hip -hop album next week, he's going to have to be extra good for me. I'm just being honest.

[1361] I get it.

[1362] You know, I'm going to go Like, oh boy, this is not for you at all.

[1363] This isn't a good analogy.

[1364] I know I'm guilty of it.

[1365] Robert Downey Jr. singing.

[1366] Luckily, in my opinion, he is so spectacular that you're like, okay, yeah, you better sing with the police right now at this party because you're killing it.

[1367] I think there's also a little bit of a sense of injustice.

[1368] Like if Timothy Shalmay put out a hip hop album where you're watching this, like, oh, he only gets to do that because he's Timothy Shalame.

[1369] There's all these people who are really good, who can't do it.

[1370] So it comes with this like angst of justice.

[1371] But in your case, that's your original pursuit.

[1372] So if I were you, I would feel indignant a little bit.

[1373] Well, I'm just a singer.

[1374] I mean, I'm an actress, but I love using my voice.

[1375] I like the skill, the craft of it.

[1376] I like controlling it, finding different ways to be expressive and connect with people and different parts of my voice.

[1377] I enjoy that so much.

[1378] So to just confine me to one thing is frustrating.

[1379] Stay tuned for more armchair expert, if you dare.

[1380] There's one spell of your journey that interests me the most, which is between rent and wicked.

[1381] I have to imagine that you learned a lot about yourself in that period because you're in rent, you're a standout, you win a Tony.

[1382] No, I got nominated.

[1383] Oh, I'm sorry.

[1384] The show won and we were everywhere.

[1385] And what year was it?

[1386] Sorry, just so I have a timeline.

[1387] 1996, it started.

[1388] And then Wicked was until 2003.

[1389] You'd be right to think, well, I'm going to be in minimally another three hit shows between now and whenever or the lead of many movies.

[1390] Well, what would happen back then, things have changed now when people have a hit Broadway show.

[1391] They get a big age and they're right into TV and film and they all do really great.

[1392] And I was stuck on getting a record deal.

[1393] That was my dream.

[1394] And I also thought back then, which I think is different these days, would lose credibility if I was on TV, even though I think that the lines are all blurred these days with social media and Glee and Hamlet.

[1395] All these things that sort of made musical theater a little cooler.

[1396] Yeah.

[1397] So I wanted to be perceived as credible.

[1398] And I got this record deal.

[1399] I was so excited.

[1400] I spent a year and a half of my life making it, going out, promoting it.

[1401] I sold about 37 CDs and then I got dropped from the record label and then I just was trying to keep writing and do another album and in the meantime starting to get sent out for things but now I wasn't the shit the momentum slowed just do it again so I did some off -Broadway stuff and some great things and in that time my ex -husband had gotten how Stella got her groove back so he's now on a A huge movie stars.

[1402] So when you met, we met in rent.

[1403] They're both fucking losers.

[1404] And we were growing up together.

[1405] Nobody's, pedestrians.

[1406] I didn't know that.

[1407] Yeah.

[1408] And then all that exciting stuff was happening for him and it was hard for me. Yeah.

[1409] I remember dating a gal who was on fire while I was in my lowest slump.

[1410] I had three movies fail in a row and she's like apex earning of her career.

[1411] And it's hard to be faced with someone who's turning down so much stuff.

[1412] you die to have.

[1413] Like, it's really hard to stay ahead of your own emotions in that sit.

[1414] Also, there was a whole race side to it because we were in the theater with everybody, all kinds of people, personalities, people with different sexual orientations.

[1415] And then when he was now having a different profile.

[1416] Was he expected to have been with a...

[1417] I was ashamed or, I don't know, maybe he felt ashamed in some way of having the white girlfriends.

[1418] There's a lot of pressure on black men.

[1419] A lot of black journalists would give him a really...

[1420] hard time.

[1421] And it was something we weren't aware of and then I became very aware of.

[1422] And then I just felt like an ugly white Jewish girl.

[1423] Why?

[1424] I'm saying that on this mic.

[1425] It sounds really self -deprecating.

[1426] But it was really how I felt sometimes.

[1427] We'd be out here a lot for his stuff and they'd be sending me in for pilots or things.

[1428] And so I'd be sitting in my car in traffic, looking at the billboards, coming back from an audition that I totally tanked, but not a good auditioner.

[1429] Yes.

[1430] And he's trying to decide which of these next three offers would be best.

[1431] I'm going to premieres and I'm sort of on his arm, but I should stand up to the side and you know all that kind of stuff.

[1432] You're this Becky over here.

[1433] Once in a while someone said, she's the girl from rent, you know, and I'm like, yes, I have.

[1434] Ultimately now I'm so grateful for that because I do think I have a perspective about all this.

[1435] Not to take it for granted.

[1436] Yeah, it's not like everything just was working and then it continued to work.

[1437] Now the downside is I have a lot of fears that I probably shouldn't have.

[1438] that the other shoe is going to drop all the time?

[1439] Always.

[1440] I can see the light of the train.

[1441] That's divorced parents too, though.

[1442] Yeah.

[1443] I think.

[1444] In my case, my mom hates when I talk about this publicly, but I just didn't see it coming.

[1445] He's typing for her and supportive.

[1446] Well, they did love each other very much, but they didn't fight in front of us a lot.

[1447] So it wasn't a lot of tumults like that.

[1448] So it took us by surprise.

[1449] So I think a little other shoe to drop happens there, too.

[1450] It's really funny you would bring this up because I just had like a two -month spell of it.

[1451] I just am exiting it.

[1452] But it's out of nowhere.

[1453] It's not rooted in anything that's really happening.

[1454] And I just decide, everything good is now coming to an end.

[1455] You had a lot of good luck and you should be happy about that.

[1456] But let's get real.

[1457] Of course, this is all going to disintegrate.

[1458] Still.

[1459] I have some good drugs that I do.

[1460] I mean, that's not drug.

[1461] Well, I would imagine that having had felt it, optimism, then probably deep pessimism.

[1462] And then on the second round, I do think it informs you a little differently, doesn't it?

[1463] I enjoy the silliest things.

[1464] Well, Kristen could speak to this because she was really young when she was successful.

[1465] And she's kept a good sense of herself and treats people really well.

[1466] But there's a lot of people that just don't get it when it happened for them young.

[1467] They just don't understand.

[1468] They think they do, too.

[1469] It's not their fault.

[1470] They haven't had the other experience.

[1471] Yeah.

[1472] And if they have all yes people, then they're screwed.

[1473] I do think it gives me a gratitude for when it works.

[1474] I don't naturally believe this is coming to me the way some people do.

[1475] No, I believed in myself, but more when I was younger.

[1476] Now, the older I'm getting and the more successful I've been, unfortunately, more in my head, more about the neuroses you were saying.

[1477] Yeah.

[1478] Well, because you have further to fall.

[1479] My anxiety's gotten worse.

[1480] Most succinct way I think of it is like, well, now you have something to lose.

[1481] Before you had nothing to lose, you were trying to create.

[1482] Yes.

[1483] So if you fell backwards, I'm already at the bottom.

[1484] Then once you have it and you're grateful for it, I think this other.

[1485] their new thing kicks in where it's like, well, now I don't want to lose this.

[1486] So I don't want to error.

[1487] And there's more people watching.

[1488] Yeah.

[1489] Especially with social media too.

[1490] I feel like that Saboteur voice feels more comfortable coming out, especially when I'm performing.

[1491] I'm enjoying performing less because I have to work harder at getting that little voice out of the way.

[1492] And it makes me sad because I think when I was younger, even at those weddings and murmurs, it's like, I'm going to be out of here.

[1493] Any minute someone's going to see me. And I just felt a sense of I was going to do something.

[1494] This is one of the things I wanted to talk to you about because I actually got to witness this a lot.

[1495] So the movie, the unnamed movie comes out.

[1496] And of course, it's the biggest thing in the world.

[1497] Do you remember when we saw an early version of it?

[1498] People were turning to each other and they knew I didn't know until let it go.

[1499] Let it go happens.

[1500] It ends and I go, that was a fucking fight scene in a kung fu movie.

[1501] The power of it and the full throttleness of it felt like an act.

[1502] action set piece.

[1503] And I was like, so, so blown away.

[1504] Like, there's anything unique about that?

[1505] Everyone felt that way.

[1506] I didn't feel that way.

[1507] You didn't sense?

[1508] Not that I wasn't proud.

[1509] I was proud.

[1510] But I also don't, like, get chills from my own voice.

[1511] You know, I'm not affected.

[1512] I don't hear stuff.

[1513] You know, it doesn't.

[1514] That makes sense.

[1515] You're probably the only person in the world who can't enjoy that song.

[1516] Yeah, it's true.

[1517] But you guys would have to go sing all the time after that.

[1518] It was such a big event, and they would send you places to sing.

[1519] And this was my analysis.

[1520] I would say to Kristen.

[1521] It felt to me like people really underestimated what it takes to sing that song.

[1522] I compared it to when you're watching the X games and the guy does a double back flip on his motorcycle.

[1523] He did it in the X games and two months leading up to that, he did it over and over again into a phone pit and he made it happen on that day.

[1524] You can't say to him three months later, go do a double backflip on that thing.

[1525] Thank you for noticing.

[1526] You can't just fucking do it.

[1527] You have to train.

[1528] Some people have it.

[1529] They can wake up and they can do it.

[1530] I think they're probably younger at that point.

[1531] But I have to start like a month before, sing 20 minutes, sing a half hour.

[1532] You know, my own concert, which is two hours of just me, but I can stall, I can tell stories.

[1533] The blood gets in the chords and it makes it come up high.

[1534] So it's nice sometimes to just tell a story and like their chords kind of relaxed.

[1535] It depends on how often back to back to back to back.

[1536] I would say it's identical as well to like the perfect floor routine for a gym is in the Olympics.

[1537] They're not going to be able to do that floor routine every time you ask them to, if ever again.

[1538] I do think it was that huge in achievement on the day you did it, however many takes it took.

[1539] I put the key higher, like an idiot.

[1540] Because I came back in and I said, I think I should do it a little higher, not because I want to show up because I think I sound a little younger in the upper key.

[1541] So, but I will say the professional thing to do is when I go into concerts is I have two different charts because it's two different keys so that if there's a day where I've been up with Walker in the middle of the night or sick or I'm not feeling well, I look at my guy and I say, take the lower key tonight.

[1542] And nobody knows the difference.

[1543] No, exactly.

[1544] Only you.

[1545] But I just remember being very sympathetic to you throughout that entire process because they kept just sending you all over the planet to sing that song.

[1546] Did you do at the Academy Awards?

[1547] Yes.

[1548] And when they're one -offs, the thing about being in the Broadway show, theater, or doing you're in concert, you'd start to get used to the sound around your band, what's going on in your ears, you got your sound guy there, you know, is what you like in your microphone, the mix of what you hear, the drums, the strings, everything starts to get dialed in.

[1549] When you're just on a TV show, by the way, it's seven, six in the morning for some of those morning shows.

[1550] You're in a new environment and all of a sudden, no matter what, you do a sound check early, it's just not the same.

[1551] So it's really hard to get adjusted and to feel comfortable.

[1552] And then there were a couple times where I've just botched that note.

[1553] You know, there was New Year's Eve.

[1554] I'm telling everyone now, and they go back and YouTube it.

[1555] It was New Year's Eve.

[1556] I was asked to sing in the middle of Times Square.

[1557] Oh, boy.

[1558] It's freezing as fog.

[1559] Yeah.

[1560] And I warmed up nearby in some restaurant, some divey bathroom, so I could be nearby, so I'd have to walk too far in the cold.

[1561] I had all those hand warmers and things stuck to like my boobs and my everywhere.

[1562] I wore a couple layers.

[1563] And I also said, I'm going to do it in the original key.

[1564] I've got this.

[1565] And then I got to the end.

[1566] My voice had just gotten so closed down.

[1567] And I just sounded so raspy up there.

[1568] And then all these people wrote such mean things about.

[1569] Oh, yeah.

[1570] Why did I read them?

[1571] I don't know.

[1572] Oh, boy.

[1573] Come on, guys.

[1574] How many times does someone have to do it before you go and just give them a pass?

[1575] I know.

[1576] I'm kind of glad to hear this because that's what I was sensing.

[1577] And I thought, like, I already know how much anxiety she has Kristen overgoing.

[1578] And she'll be the first to say it.

[1579] She doesn't have to get herself.

[1580] in a position, you have to.

[1581] So whatever the normal anxiety is, then add on to it, you're doing a high wire act.

[1582] You're doing the triple fucking Lindy every time you do it.

[1583] That song you must have so much gratitude for and you must fucking hate it.

[1584] Do you have nightmares about that song?

[1585] Well, I always have weird nightmares.

[1586] I have a recurring wicked nightmare.

[1587] We can talk about that.

[1588] But I love it so much.

[1589] It was your big trick you pulled in the Olympics.

[1590] It is.

[1591] Yeah, it's for life too.

[1592] When I'm doing my concerts and I have my set list, because that's when I sing it now.

[1593] When I'm touring, I don't get sick of it.

[1594] And I think it's a creature being from the theater eight shows a week is trying to find nuance and new things every night to make things fresh.

[1595] And I really like that discovery process.

[1596] So if I'm across from an actor, I like taking myself out of myself and focusing on someone else and what are they doing different.

[1597] I like looking in the audience and thinking there's a little girl in a blue dress.

[1598] I need to sing to that person.

[1599] I like to figure out, oh, I had a really bad day with something in my personal life, and it kind of informs the way I'm going to sing it.

[1600] I like listening to, oh, the bass player played something different in that part and just having a great time.

[1601] So I really don't get sick.

[1602] The only time I almost hate it is that I'm really not feeling that well, and I know that I've got to find my way through it and not feel embarrassed.

[1603] But also, I think context is everything in that often when I was seeing you, it was a requirement.

[1604] You don't know who's there.

[1605] It's not your audience.

[1606] Your show, that's the moment I imagine I'd love it the most if I were you, which is like, okay, now I get to give them this thing that I know is going to immediately, immediately make them happy.

[1607] Well, I talk about getting dropped from my label and never really having crossover.

[1608] It's the one, it is the most theatrical sounding song you've ever heard, but it has been played on pop stations.

[1609] Oh, yeah, it charted.

[1610] I have what I call hit songs are not necessarily billboards, whatever, even though that song was.

[1611] But a song that you can hold the microphone out to an audience and you don't have to sing at all, which, by the way, that's my latest trick.

[1612] Oh, smart.

[1613] Oh, that's smart.

[1614] Give it to the audience if I'm not feeling it.

[1615] I throw a tomato at you if you made me sing that part.

[1616] And I didn't get to hear you sing it.

[1617] But that's when I have the most gratitude when they can just sing the whole thing.

[1618] Yeah.

[1619] I just don't even have to sing it.

[1620] I've been going to more and more cows where they do that.

[1621] Yeah, that must feel how fun.

[1622] Yeah, Taylor did that a couple times as she should have by her fifth show.

[1623] Yeah, I must feel so.

[1624] weird and circuitous that you ended up with the thing you always wanted in a way that you had no expectation.

[1625] You couldn't have drafted.

[1626] Well, so many rules that you can't come from the theater and do this and showiness and stuff.

[1627] And then all of a sudden when I'm forgetting about it, the song that comes in is this huge, that company we're not talking about.

[1628] That kind of song is my way to get on Billboard's top, whatever.

[1629] I was on the cover of Billboard.

[1630] As, by the way, the new it girl the once i forget what it was but it's saying like she's an it girl but she's been around right second time girl or something yeah something like that okay long in the tooth it girl yeah i've never gotten to ask you about this which upsets me but i need to know because again i was around you a lot when this happened the adele dezim yes we get so serious it's like we were about to ask me something i know i thought it was going to be yes i never got to ask You've had that time we were in rehab.

[1631] I haven't been in yet.

[1632] What I mean is I've been dying to ask you for eight years now when you're hearing this setup and the wickedly talented and you know what's supposed to come next and you hear that.

[1633] What were your personal feelings?

[1634] Were they codependency, compassion for him?

[1635] Like, oh boy, they weren't.

[1636] They were not for him.

[1637] Okay.

[1638] They were very selfishly.

[1639] Okay.

[1640] So I think there were in the intro of that song, eight.

[1641] of No Singing, Band Begins.

[1642] And I had done a lot of mental preparations.

[1643] I wanted to take this in.

[1644] I wanted to be present.

[1645] I've been through it.

[1646] I've had highs and lows and here I am.

[1647] And I want to be in my body, you know, and take this in and not take it for granted.

[1648] So I had done a lot of different things.

[1649] One, I put myself in these crazy high platform shoes, which actually platforms are sturdier.

[1650] They're not a stiletto.

[1651] I can't, like, teeter.

[1652] But I want to look long, so I wanted the heel.

[1653] Usually I like to sing barefoot, number one.

[1654] Number two, when you're looking out there in Merrill Street, Brad Pitt, and Amy Adams.

[1655] Dax Shepherd.

[1656] You know, Desha.

[1657] I didn't even mention you.

[1658] I'm making fun of myself.

[1659] It was an old familiar face at that point.

[1660] Sorry, but they were right in the front row.

[1661] You know how in rehearsals they have those posters with their picture on them because the camera guys are trying to rehearse where they're going to go for reaction shots.

[1662] I knew where they would be sitting.

[1663] It's my only thing.

[1664] I didn't know where you would be sitting.

[1665] Yeah, well, they didn't practice any reaction shots.

[1666] Anyway, here we are eight bars.

[1667] So I also told myself, think about singing to your son when all this spells.

[1668] Or I have other little tricks.

[1669] You also do beta blockers like Kristen?

[1670] I didn't at that time.

[1671] You didn't.

[1672] It would have been a good time.

[1673] And see if they affect my voice.

[1674] I don't know if they would.

[1675] They don't.

[1676] Oh, good.

[1677] I need to try that.

[1678] So I thought, sing to your son.

[1679] You'd think I'm thinking about really emotional things or connecting to the character of the song.

[1680] I'm actually thinking about when to breathe.

[1681] Certain notes that I know I need to think about to set up very technical things.

[1682] You're getting your game plan together.

[1683] That's smart.

[1684] That's smart.

[1685] Because if I do that, then I'm not getting ahead of myself.

[1686] And I know the emotion and all the things that come with it because I've done a million times will be there.

[1687] Yeah.

[1688] So if I can do this, at least my nerves are not as much there.

[1689] So then that happens.

[1690] The intro happens.

[1691] And then the music begins.

[1692] And I immediately was like, like, what the fuck did he say?

[1693] Oh, my God.

[1694] Oh, my God.

[1695] And in my head, eight bars is probably, I don't know, 10, 11 seconds.

[1696] By the way, I'm almost shocked you heard him.

[1697] Because it's actually hard to hear when you're there.

[1698] I know.

[1699] But they preset me. Uh -huh.

[1700] So I'm there.

[1701] And I hear it.

[1702] And I literally was like, what the fuck did you say?

[1703] Oh, my God.

[1704] This was my moment.

[1705] Oh.

[1706] This was my time.

[1707] Oh, get out of your head, bitch.

[1708] Just focus on the song.

[1709] Why are you feeling sorry for your stuff?

[1710] sing to walker sing to walker you have the shoes on remember to breathe remember to read wait what did he just say oh my god red pin is out there sing the snow gloat yeah all that and one everything's happening in different planes yeah my whole life oh my gosh this is so stressful yeah but then it was the best thing you know i always say it was the best thing that ever happened why well because all the people that did know me were up in arms and sent so much love and all the people that were like what's the big fucking deal who is this girl Why are they making, then made more people get to know me. Yeah.

[1711] That's true.

[1712] That's a positive takeaway.

[1713] Yeah.

[1714] I'm watching that, and I'm Travolta in that moment.

[1715] I'm dyslexic.

[1716] I hate reading off a teleprompter.

[1717] Is he dyslexic?

[1718] I have no clue.

[1719] Oh, okay.

[1720] I feel bad.

[1721] Me, I am.

[1722] It's very easy for me to imagine being him in that moment.

[1723] Oh, my God, in front of everybody at the Academy Awards.

[1724] I hate reading those damn teleprompters.

[1725] I just completely botched this.

[1726] Uh -huh.

[1727] How embarrassing and disrespectful.

[1728] He had no idea.

[1729] But the delivery was so comedic because, yeah, he had so much rhythm going into it.

[1730] The wicked, like, he was really ready to do it.

[1731] I just don't understand how he got that.

[1732] Didn't he practice once before?

[1733] To his credit, he says he did.

[1734] And then I think the fanatic spelling might have been put in last minute on him.

[1735] And so maybe that messed with him or something.

[1736] I could not.

[1737] I mean, what a moment.

[1738] I will never forget.

[1739] I mean, like, what did he say?

[1740] What?

[1741] And then Ellen DeGeneres was so nice because she corrected it in a really cool way that night.

[1742] I'd say for me and the many awards I've watched, that in the slap are the two most memorable moments.

[1743] Yeah, honestly, yes.

[1744] If there were coffee tables.

[1745] Top two, right?

[1746] That's pretty good.

[1747] Pretty awesome.

[1748] I go with that.

[1749] Adrian Brody making out with Halliberry.

[1750] Oh, yeah.

[1751] That was a no -no, right?

[1752] I can't remember.

[1753] At the time, we just thought it didn't hold up.

[1754] Yeah.

[1755] It turns out to not stand the test of time.

[1756] Okay.

[1757] talk about drama queen i was dancing all morning to beast and move thank you both wonderful songs drama queen is your new album and a part of drama queen that i want to talk about is you for numerous reasons one of them just being known as the queen of broadway the queer community as i read in many interviews about you you're their number one they rally behind you i guess i was thinking about what enormous support you have and in many ways this album's for those folks yeah did i intend it I knew that I need to write from a personal place for anything to ever resonate with anyone else, but I knew from a lot of my friends and family in that community.

[1758] And also, you know, it's funny, I'm learning that even by saying that community is othering sometimes to people.

[1759] So I'm learning all of this vernacular that's hard.

[1760] So I keep walking things back.

[1761] But anyway, I knew that there's a common theme in the characters I've played and then things that I experience in my life that in no way do I walk in their footsteps.

[1762] But there's a commonality in some of the themes of just empowerment and wanting to embrace this uniqueness that we have.

[1763] And feeling other and feeling judged.

[1764] Yes.

[1765] And even, well, we won't get into that.

[1766] Elsa is by many people's accounts of metaphor for someone running from their true self.

[1767] You want to get into that.

[1768] We were going to talk about before.

[1769] I was going to say the other thing that I get asked all the time is about what she represents or what she may explore.

[1770] Yeah.

[1771] And then they asked, how would I feel?

[1772] It's like, I would love that.

[1773] My curiosity, though, when I thought about being one of the mascots for a community, that you're not actually technically a member of, at least your sexual orientation, to me is like, if I found out that the chess players of America fucking love me, I was their guy.

[1774] Right.

[1775] You're a chess player?

[1776] I'm not.

[1777] That's the thing.

[1778] If you were talking about how great it is to be a chess player, how much you respect, or how much, like, how inclusive you are of chess players, they might do that.

[1779] Well, maybe, yeah, but this didn't start as a campaign to support LGBTQ.

[1780] This was, she was herself and played these roles and that emerged.

[1781] It's chicken to the egg.

[1782] I always try to figure that out.

[1783] People I say, how did you select these roles?

[1784] Like, I didn't select these roles, especially rent, too.

[1785] I was playing a gay character.

[1786] So I was auditioning very hard.

[1787] These roles did not come to me. And nor did the thing that we don't talk about that I did with your wife.

[1788] We had to audition for that too.

[1789] So it's only now that theatrical roles come to me and I can sort of say yes or no. I still auditioned for TV and film stuff.

[1790] Yeah.

[1791] It's not like you made active choices.

[1792] Yeah.

[1793] It's just like you're finding out a group that you're not really in to find out that they love you kind of universally.

[1794] to me, I would just be kind of tickled by that.

[1795] Bad analogy?

[1796] No, not a bad analogy.

[1797] It feels wrong.

[1798] Monica's got a grimace on her face.

[1799] It's a little nervous about this.

[1800] I'm just thinking it through.

[1801] There's more connecting threads.

[1802] If anyone can relate to any of your characters and people can feel seen.

[1803] Well, that's all wonderful for sure.

[1804] But you actually go and you've done lots of concerts at Pride braids and stuff.

[1805] Yes, I've been doing that with this album especially.

[1806] So now I imagine me going to like the chess players conference.

[1807] But I go so I can say.

[1808] Thank you, honestly.

[1809] Because I feel like they have informed me all these years with how to play some of these roles.

[1810] Their willingness to lead their lives with such purity and authenticity and courage, honestly, especially in this time that we're living in now, it's an opportunity to say thanks.

[1811] Plus, they've supported me all these years through all of my creative choices.

[1812] And they have they, this day.

[1813] I don't mean to once again say it's a monolith of people or whatever, but this community.

[1814] It has supported all these choices, even when I've taken different directions, musically.

[1815] They bought the albums.

[1816] I mean, I get asked all the time, what makes a gay icon?

[1817] I ask all my gay friends and they all tell me different things.

[1818] I don't know what it is because they're like, well, you're theatrical.

[1819] I'm like, so you're stereotyping a bunch of gay people and saying that they like musical theater?

[1820] That's a stereotype.

[1821] It may be a stereotype, but I've yet to meet a gay dude that didn't love Mariah Carey.

[1822] I don't know what to tell you.

[1823] I could pretend I live in a world where that's not the case.

[1824] There's something about really powerful women, big voices.

[1825] Let it rip.

[1826] But we're about to sound so stupid, but the whole mother thing.

[1827] Yes, this is new to me. I'm just getting hip to this.

[1828] I'm sure people refer to you as mother.

[1829] Sometimes I see it.

[1830] Inform me. I'm also just learning about it.

[1831] So I feel very ill -informed and I'm probably going to sound so stupid.

[1832] But yeah, in the LGBTQ community, a lot of women are deemed mother.

[1833] Okay.

[1834] And it's often strong, powerful women.

[1835] Well, part of it, it says from 1720s London to Rupal's drag race.

[1836] The slang term without an article in front is used by fans, brands, and sometimes even mothers themselves.

[1837] It derives from the black and Latino LGBTQ ballroom scene, a queer subculture in which members are organized into so -called houses often led by mother.

[1838] The words current use, however, veers campier and is mostly used as a term of endearment for famous women with avid devotees.

[1839] Yep, so it's lovely.

[1840] Okay, well, that was an interesting detour.

[1841] We figured it out.

[1842] New York Times.

[1843] My point being is it's been really amazing to go around and sing this music during this time with all of these people that I love.

[1844] It's very dance and disco -y, which I absolutely love.

[1845] But that's kind of new for you, no?

[1846] In album form, definitely.

[1847] Yeah, you as a writer.

[1848] Yeah.

[1849] We have your Christmas album.

[1850] We absolutely love it.

[1851] I'm familiar with some of the body of work, but this to me seems new.

[1852] This makes me happy.

[1853] I wanted people to get up and dance and not be so behaved.

[1854] I think the theater community not always behaved.

[1855] Sometimes they're not good.

[1856] They don't turn off their phones and they crinkle a lot of candy wrappers.

[1857] But I don't want them to feel so behaved.

[1858] When I go to London, at one in the morning, I surprise a bunch of people at GAY.

[1859] It's this club.

[1860] It's actually called Heaven and it's part of the GAY circle.

[1861] And they are pressed up against the stage to the point that I could practically stage dive, something I've always wanted to do, and you never could because of the music that I'm known for.

[1862] I don't stage die.

[1863] You got to do it now.

[1864] Yeah.

[1865] Well, the good thing is a bunch of muscular gay men or women actually would catch me. Yes.

[1866] You'd be very supportive.

[1867] I would be supported.

[1868] But I have the most wonderful time.

[1869] The energy is electric.

[1870] We're singing together.

[1871] We're dancing.

[1872] We're reminiscing.

[1873] In the past, when I've done it, I just loved it so much that over quarantine when I was thinking, what kind of music do I want to do?

[1874] And what do I want to do, that I'm not overthinking it, that I'm not trying to be formulaic that I'm not trying to do what I think people want me to do or a label or what would sell.

[1875] I just want to do something that's going to be fun for me that I could bring back to GAY and London at one in the morning and kick ass, you know?

[1876] And that really was my impetus for a lot of this album.

[1877] And then I got dancers, which I've always said I wasn't going to have because I'm not a dancer.

[1878] And I'm not good at it at all.

[1879] But I had this choreographer who I love so much.

[1880] They can make you look so good.

[1881] And I had these fabulous hot dancers behind me throwing down.

[1882] And then they sort of push me into the direction that I'm supposed to go sometimes.

[1883] Oh, they gently heard you.

[1884] Like get to the right.

[1885] I just had so much fun.

[1886] And so these pride festivals are like thousands and thousands of people up against the stage.

[1887] You know, they're not sitting with their hands class in their laps.

[1888] No disrespect to Carnegie Hall.

[1889] No, they own their owning their body.

[1890] That's pretty awesome.

[1891] Yes.

[1892] That's where I would want to perform if I were you.

[1893] It does make me say though, that you have the list of things that you've got to, well, they're going to think this, or they'll think that, or they'll reject it for this.

[1894] You know, that's just neuroses.

[1895] Does that gotten, well, we already kind of talked about it.

[1896] It's gotten worse.

[1897] I think it gets worse.

[1898] But then it depends on what headman's out.

[1899] It clears up once in a while.

[1900] And then if I forget for two days, I'm traveling, it's a little extra.

[1901] But now Rogers was the guy that mentored me on this album and wrote some stuff.

[1902] And he's the one that I called and I said, can I do this?

[1903] Because I had met him a couple times through some other gigs.

[1904] And he's the one that's, look at barbush.

[1905] She went and had a disco moment.

[1906] My favorite song ever is Guilty.

[1907] With the Beechie.

[1908] Barry Gibb.

[1909] There's one other song.

[1910] My husband and I just played these.

[1911] Did they have a whole full album?

[1912] I only have the one sing.

[1913] Oh, yeah.

[1914] But guilty?

[1915] I think they were having to have a fair of it.

[1916] Sounds like it.

[1917] The lyrics are very...

[1918] Yeah, we have nothing to feel guilty for our love.

[1919] We'll climb any mountain.

[1920] Yeah.

[1921] Oh, wow.

[1922] So anyway, I recruited people that would give me some street cred.

[1923] Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[1924] So we did that.

[1925] Jake Shears from Scissor Sisters.

[1926] And you wrote Beast in a day, right?

[1927] Yeah, with Sir Nolan and Simon Wilcox.

[1928] Most of these songs, when I put myself in a room with people that are much better than me at collaborating, because I just throw the kitchen sink at people at this point.

[1929] When I used to try to write all by myself, it was just.

[1930] just torture for me. I don't like it.

[1931] I don't know how to make good decisions.

[1932] I don't know how to edit myself.

[1933] And I just feel very lonely writing music.

[1934] In the self -doubt voice is quite loud.

[1935] So now I just put myself in a room with people that really know how to write great songs.

[1936] And I just kind of vomit my life so they can exploit it for a great song.

[1937] And I'm very vulnerable and very willing to tell some of these stories.

[1938] People get in their own way when they try to do everything by themselves.

[1939] It's true.

[1940] And then I sing my melodies and I sing my lyrics and I just go, I have all this.

[1941] What do you think?

[1942] What's the course?

[1943] What's the verse?

[1944] What's the bridge?

[1945] And I'm like, oh, that's a great hook right there.

[1946] And then I have so much fun.

[1947] Yeah.

[1948] I'm guessing, though, that leading up to it, there's all those voices.

[1949] But then when you're physically doing the thing you know how to do, it goes away.

[1950] Once you're actively doing the thing you're afraid of.

[1951] pure, then I feel transported, and it's my closest thing to a belief in some kind of otherness and spirituality, because I'm not very religious.

[1952] So it's the thing that I feel, I'm where I'm supposed to be, where I feel happy and free and all of that.

[1953] It just doesn't always happen.

[1954] And then if you ask me about it, I usually can't tell you what happens because I don't remember because I am sort of.

[1955] You're in it.

[1956] In a flow state.

[1957] Yeah.

[1958] Would you say that this album came easier to you than others.

[1959] I think I took the expectation off.

[1960] I didn't have a record label, so I just did it.

[1961] I paid for a lot of it myself.

[1962] I just didn't adhere to any rules and also said, I don't care who was going to listen to it.

[1963] Just do it because you want to do it and work with people you want to work with.

[1964] Have fun.

[1965] Sing about a lot of happy things and have great grooves, you know, great baselines.

[1966] Well, I love it.

[1967] And, you know, I've always enjoyed being around you for these last 10 years.

[1968] I'm always happy when I see you.

[1969] I love your family.

[1970] Oh, thank you.

[1971] Thank you.

[1972] beautiful women in your life.

[1973] Well, you have that beautiful boy.

[1974] I think he was probably seven the last time I saw him.

[1975] It feels like your girls pay more attention to you than my son does.

[1976] He's turning 14 next week.

[1977] That age.

[1978] Oh, that's what a year.

[1979] Eighth grade he's going into?

[1980] Yeah.

[1981] Oh.

[1982] When he gets sleepy, he forgets that he's a teenager and he holds my head.

[1983] Or like if he falls asleep on the couch and I say, come on, I go on your own bed, he kind of wakes up.

[1984] And then he says, okay, love you, mommy.

[1985] Oh.

[1986] And I feel almost like I've been manipulative.

[1987] You should pepper his meals with melatonin and get him a little drowsy for the rest of the evening.

[1988] Once again, it's like a selfish from the parents' perspective.

[1989] It's like, I need to feel loved.

[1990] I need you to tell me you love me. You're my purpose.

[1991] Please confirm that for me. Yes, exactly.

[1992] I'm doing a good job.

[1993] You like me. Good girl.

[1994] It's horrible.

[1995] I feel like I see your girls and I just never say anything.

[1996] mean to you guys.

[1997] Oh no. They let it rip.

[1998] They let it rip.

[1999] But what is your take on if they say something that does trigger something in you, whether they're trying to because they're in a mood or they just say something inadvertently.

[2000] But I so much don't want him to see me get unsettled.

[2001] I want to be this sort of tree trunk that's just strong.

[2002] And maybe my brand just bend and move and I'm malleable.

[2003] But sometimes I want to cry.

[2004] So I dismiss myself.

[2005] Maybe I go up into my room and just like, like, I'm the worst mother.

[2006] He hates me. Or I feel like sometimes he needs to know that words are powerful and that was hurtful.

[2007] And so I'm sort of always kind of wrestling with this.

[2008] I think they say a lot of stuff that's just bullshit.

[2009] They're trying to get an effect out of you or a reaction.

[2010] And there are other times where they are unaware of how hurtful they're being.

[2011] And I think in those moments, it's your obligation to educate them on that.

[2012] Not to shame them, but just like, well, this had this effect on me. I'm unoculated from it through arrogance, which is, and I'm being sincere, there's only a single thing I thought I've done great on planet Earth, and it's be your dad.

[2013] So like, when they tell me I'm a shitty dad and I don't ever want to see you, I just don't buy it.

[2014] I can show you what a shitty dad's like, I'm not that.

[2015] I don't have a fear of being a shitty dad, so it never really bothers me. And then sometimes I'm like, but I do need to let them know, like, this is very mean -spirited what you're saying.

[2016] And I was sincerely to say, hey, I don't deserve that.

[2017] you know I don't deserve that.

[2018] And I leave it at that.

[2019] I'm out.

[2020] And then they can think about whether I did or didn't deserve that.

[2021] Right.

[2022] I get worried that my tears in some way, that's why I don't want him to see me cry, but I want him to see women strong, but also having these emotions.

[2023] But I think it's manipulative in a way.

[2024] Because when he does see me cry, he doesn't feel so badly.

[2025] And it's like, I don't want to use tears in order to invoke a certain response.

[2026] I think we'd agree probably all things are much better talked about, about an hour after the whole thing happened regardless of.

[2027] We were talking about my husband.

[2028] He's a therapist, by the way.

[2029] Oh, he is.

[2030] You married your mother and not your father.

[2031] Interesting.

[2032] I thought he might have been on a pajama salesman.

[2033] No, he runs an inpatient facility out in Malibu.

[2034] Oh, he does.

[2035] He houses addiction and mental illness.

[2036] Incredible.

[2037] Yeah, he's amazing.

[2038] So he's good at letting all the emotions dissipate before?

[2039] Well, he's good at telling me to not press send.

[2040] Uh -huh.

[2041] Pause when agitated, we say in a day.

[2042] Not press send is a great way.

[2043] Just don't press it.

[2044] Run it by me. Take the bite out of that just a little bit.

[2045] What he always tells me when my son is, okay, leave it now.

[2046] I tend to over -talk, over -analyze.

[2047] But you're still a person.

[2048] And so if you're going to cry, I mean, maybe it's not like you cry every single time.

[2049] But, yeah, if something's impacting you, it's almost a disservice to him to think we're not full people.

[2050] Exactly.

[2051] We don't just have to be little weak criers or super strong and stiff.

[2052] We're everything.

[2053] know yeah it's all gradients i also don't think children should be in charge of regulating their parents fucking emotions right so it's another dedication i have is like i had people like that around me have your shit together how about that as a parent that's what i'm saying you be stable there's merit to that it's not very clear what we're all supposed to be doing it you know a lot of trial and air every day there's a new thing they're getting older there's a new thing just when you think you have it together then something doesn't affect them anymore it does all i really care about and i'm not great at it is we've, for whatever reason, this whole group, we've been in a little spiral of watching these videos of Delta when she was like, too, because she was just impossibly cute and belligerent.

[2054] Oh, yeah, the one I was just saying about Elsa and on it.

[2055] Yes, yes, yes.

[2056] So we've been in this little spiral of doing that lately, watching these videos, sending them to each other.

[2057] And all I really want to remember is all those moments were perfect.

[2058] This one is too.

[2059] I'm going to be watching a video of this in 12 years, and I'm going to want to come back to right now.

[2060] So all I really want to do is recognize, like, right now is a spot to be, and it's great no matter what.

[2061] And I'll always want to come back to this thing, you know?

[2062] And being imperfectly perfect.

[2063] Yes.

[2064] The thing.

[2065] Did I say it in the order that I like?

[2066] Perfectly imperfect.

[2067] It almost sounds like it could be a song for one of these.

[2068] Perfectly imperfect.

[2069] That's tough that it's in.

[2070] I'm going to have to work on that.

[2071] It doesn't flow.

[2072] We're going to have to break it up or something.

[2073] Well, Adina, it was so nice to see you.

[2074] It was such an honor to be on this amazing show.

[2075] Oh, come on.

[2076] If you have a stack of children's books, will you please just tell us really quick?

[2077] My sister and I write these children's books together.

[2078] The first one is called Loud Mouse.

[2079] The Little Mouse, like me. Ah, I'm also a mouse.

[2080] She's Minutriam House.

[2081] You are?

[2082] Yeah, that's our nickname.

[2083] Really?

[2084] Yeah, Minge your mouse.

[2085] Well, it's about when I was little and had this big voice, and I wasn't sure how much to take up space with it.

[2086] bring attention to myself and how I think there's a lot of young girls especially we're not sure how to do that and my sister's in this one and the fops about my sister who was always sort of walking around in my shadow all the teachers saying do you sing so it's more about just curiosity and finding herself oh my god I love her so much she really is the brains behind this because she's the teacher and she's a literacy specialist so the way that she approaches the language and the way she writes is very in tune with the age Monica, this whole series is about you.

[2087] Proud mouse, loud mouse?

[2088] I don't know.

[2089] I don't know if I was loud.

[2090] I am now.

[2091] Now you're loud as fuck.

[2092] You don't get a megaphone hanging on your ass.

[2093] Proud house is probably your book for you.

[2094] So yeah, it's out there.

[2095] The mouse series.

[2096] Yeah.

[2097] I love it.

[2098] That's your nickname?

[2099] Minature mouse.

[2100] Dax gave me that when we started this.

[2101] How come?

[2102] Doesn't she look like Minnie Mouse a little bit?

[2103] Because she's so miniature.

[2104] Yeah, I haven't really seen you standing here.

[2105] She says she's five feet half inch.

[2106] I am.

[2107] But she's 411 .5.

[2108] That is such a lie.

[2109] I am 5 feet and a half inch, if not taller now.

[2110] Yeah, so she has those little flats on, which got about a sent to me here.

[2111] Her feet don't even make it towards the edge of the edge of.

[2112] But she's a big, big girl, though.

[2113] Shut off.

[2114] It's so patronizing.

[2115] No, you're my favorite kind of recipe, a miniature person that's powerful is all fuck.

[2116] That's my favorite.

[2117] It's a good type.

[2118] No, I was wearing a headband once, and you were like, you look like mini mouse.

[2119] And then really took off.

[2120] Mini mouse was already taken, it turns out.

[2121] That's already an IP that we're not allowed to use.

[2122] So miniature mouse became...

[2123] Oh, I love that.

[2124] We shouldn't even be calling me that during the strike.

[2125] Miniature mouse.

[2126] Oh, God.

[2127] I think of miniature mouse is more of an animal.

[2128] Mini Mouse makes me think of...

[2129] Well, there's Minnie Mouse.

[2130] Yeah.

[2131] And then there's Mini Me. Oh, right.

[2132] Mini Me. But honestly, we got this mini.

[2133] Mini Submarine sandwiches.

[2134] Those are tasty.

[2135] Anyways, this series is for you.

[2136] I brought these for the girls.

[2137] Okay, that was very nice of you.

[2138] And I brought two and two because I never know if they like to share or not.

[2139] And there's not an answer for that.

[2140] Some days they do, some days they know.

[2141] Kristen said it was okay to just sign their both names on one.

[2142] Yes, that's probably best.

[2143] And then I think miniature mouse should get broad mouse or loudness.

[2144] It's her birthday on Thursday.

[2145] That's right.

[2146] Happy birthday, my new friend.

[2147] Thank you.

[2148] I know this was so fun.

[2149] Miniature friend.

[2150] Thank you for having me. The themes of the day, which I'm a little.

[2151] embarrassed of them.

[2152] We're neuroses, introvert, headmets.

[2153] This sounds like a real downer.

[2154] We can relate to all of those things.

[2155] That's pretty much how they all are, though.

[2156] They're not about victory laps and stand on stages with trophies.

[2157] They're about six years of figuring out should you stay the course.

[2158] And they're about losing people over your life.

[2159] I mean, that's what's about.

[2160] And they're about falling into a pit and breaking your red and having green on your face.

[2161] But then looking like a gangster and a red Adidas track suit.

[2162] Exactly.

[2163] And drag.

[2164] When life gives you a. a fall through a pit.

[2165] I don't know.

[2166] Life isn't a bowl of pits.

[2167] I'm a maloprop queen.

[2168] What's that?

[2169] Malaprops are when you say sayings wrong.

[2170] Oh, that's called.

[2171] I always get them wrong.

[2172] So I've never said this, but this is one.

[2173] Like, life is a bowl of cherries.

[2174] I would be like, life's a bowl of strawberries.

[2175] You know.

[2176] Right.

[2177] Don't put the horse before the ride.

[2178] Yes.

[2179] Penny saved is a penny in the bank.

[2180] It's a one 25th of your way to a quarter.

[2181] I always get them wrong all the time.

[2182] Well, I adore you, and I will see a bunch of you in the coming years.

[2183] Yes, you will.

[2184] Stay tuned for the fact check so you can hear all the facts that were wrong.

[2185] We're live.

[2186] We're not live.

[2187] Not live.

[2188] This is three days ago.

[2189] The consensus was the verdict went your way.

[2190] You know, we have these debates.

[2191] Oh, people have been chiming in.

[2192] Yes.

[2193] And sometimes it goes my way and sometimes it goes your way.

[2194] And this one would appear to have gone your way, which is at least the people who felt inclined to say something are mostly of the opinion.

[2195] Don't try to act like it's a different day.

[2196] We get it.

[2197] We know.

[2198] Yeah.

[2199] I did read one.

[2200] They're smart.

[2201] I put a lot of belief in the one I read that agreed with me. But it's kind of hard to ignore consensus.

[2202] Okay.

[2203] It is funny, though, how quickly news moves that even though, in general, there's no problem.

[2204] it is often where it's like it's kind of crazy they didn't say anything about that right like things just pop up but that's even more reason why we should be saying we're not on the day yeah okay well today's a good one because it's it's closer than normal normally we do Monday on Thursday yeah Thursday Friday yeah so it's a little better on the September 11th right now oh see now we right and we would have been in morning people have been like why are they so chipper exactly It's 9 -11, but it's not.

[2205] For us, it's 9 -9.

[2206] Yeah.

[2207] Or 9 -8.

[2208] What is the 9 -8?

[2209] Do you have big plans this weekend?

[2210] No. No. Do you?

[2211] No. Should we hang out?

[2212] Let's party.

[2213] Okay, so we're going to hang out this weekend.

[2214] Uh -huh.

[2215] What else?

[2216] What else is happening?

[2217] I went to, I can't say too much because we're going to do a whole episode on Halloween episode.

[2218] Halloween lands on a Tuesday this year, so there will be a flightless bird on that Tuesday.

[2219] Okay.

[2220] Ding, ding, ding, ding.

[2221] And so obviously it will be a. On brand Yes, because last night you had an outing Yeah How was it?

[2222] Scary You got scared Of course Because you really get scared Right?

[2223] Yes, you know me I know but I just can't relate to it at all You would get scared If something pops out in your face, right?

[2224] I have been spooked by people Josh Dumas once on the set of When in Rome It was filming at night on the streets of New York He was hiding in a doorway when I walked by You like left out leapt out.

[2225] I mean, he got me. I remember it.

[2226] And did you, okay, was your reaction to punch?

[2227] So that was very disappointed that it wasn't.

[2228] Well, I'm glad it wasn't because you would have hurt his face.

[2229] I didn't immediately, I didn't instinctively punch.

[2230] But I turned to see who the person was and I saw it was Josh.

[2231] Yeah.

[2232] So I do believe that had it been not Josh, a punch would have come next.

[2233] Of course.

[2234] But I did have some kind of shame that it wasn't just, I was punched.

[2235] punching as I was getting scared, but that was not the case.

[2236] Can I relieve you that that's a good thing?

[2237] I don't know.

[2238] I'd prefer I just punch first.

[2239] No, because what if - Identified later.

[2240] What if it was Delta?

[2241] Yeah.

[2242] You have to be careful.

[2243] I wouldn't want to hit a child if they're scared or a woman.

[2244] That's why Molly loves you so much.

[2245] Yeah.

[2246] Because you wouldn't hit a woman.

[2247] That's such a high bar upset.

[2248] Oh my God, I know.

[2249] He's right.

[2250] So I got scared.

[2251] Got scared.

[2252] Bad.

[2253] Do you hate the feeling of being scary?

[2254] You must hate the feeling of being scary.

[2255] You like it.

[2256] It's, I mean, what I hate it, actually.

[2257] So we went to horror night, universal horror nights.

[2258] Again, I don't know how much we want to say.

[2259] But when you first get in there, you walk through the park, and then there's all the haunted houses and stuff.

[2260] The haunted house is a type of scary that I am fine with.

[2261] Which is, pop outs?

[2262] Yeah, there are popouts.

[2263] but you know what you're doing.

[2264] Oh, you don't like when you're like walking between attractions and someone in the crowd is posing.

[2265] Exactly.

[2266] I, in order to get to the houses, you walk down this path and it's the chainsaw people.

[2267] And I, like, really hate that.

[2268] Right.

[2269] Now, I hate that, but for a much different reason, I think.

[2270] Okay.

[2271] Why do you hate it?

[2272] You're interacting with an actor.

[2273] Like, when you turn and then you look at it.

[2274] and then they carry on in character, as they're supposed to do.

[2275] That's what gives me the heby -jeebies like, oh, now I'm participating in the, and they're never going to act normal.

[2276] Right.

[2277] And I don't love that.

[2278] Like, I want my acting to happen on a stage.

[2279] I get that.

[2280] Like these, like, Tony and Teresa's wedding or whatever.

[2281] Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[2282] Tina Turner's wedding.

[2283] Whatever that play was.

[2284] Yes.

[2285] Like, you're in the bathroom and people were like, hey, fucking what's up?

[2286] You got a comb?

[2287] Like, I know.

[2288] I can't do.

[2289] that i know i love tony you know don't tell nobody but i slept with tina all right peace out and now you're accomplice i know you i've made up a lot of what happens in that tina's yeah this is all alleged yeah um i don't like that either because i hate audience participation right that's my number one hate ultimate audience participation it is but this is not doesn't feel like that because they're they're in so much makeup and masked that like i'm not seeing a person right and so it doesn't feel like an actor just feels like a really scary predator i know what happens because this happens at the haunted hayride okay they come out in the blah you're like oh good and i give them a fake scream and everything i want them to feel like fake have you you can be honest that you scream for real you're supposed to be vulnerable that's why i don't i end up i end up getting codependent and then pretending i was scared for these people and then once it's over and then they kind of just linger and keep at it but i'm like we already did this like you're you spooked us, I gave you a reaction, and now you're just acting weird in real life.

[2290] Like, go on to the next person.

[2291] Yeah.

[2292] That to me is.

[2293] But they also know if you're going to, well, which sounds like you give him a half reaction, but if you're really scared, and I learned this quick.

[2294] Okay.

[2295] That obviously you're a big target if you're really scared.

[2296] Like a gorilla.

[2297] Yes, sure.

[2298] If you show your fear.

[2299] Oh, right.

[2300] Yeah.

[2301] Yeah, but I thought you meant like a guy in a guerrilla costume, which I think they had.

[2302] Oh, they had one of those.

[2303] Yeah.

[2304] And I, because the first, I didn't, I was really not expecting it.

[2305] Uh -huh.

[2306] How close they get?

[2307] And how, like.

[2308] How could you have not been expecting it?

[2309] I guess that's maybe part of the difference.

[2310] Don't victim shame me. I mean.

[2311] But you're at a haunted attraction.

[2312] That's like, you wore that short skirt.

[2313] I'm kidding.

[2314] I'm kidding.

[2315] I'm kidding.

[2316] You're not doing that.

[2317] But no, I didn't.

[2318] It's like saying that the engine noises were too loud when you went to the monster trucks.

[2319] It's like, I hate when that happened.

[2320] But if you go to Monster Trucks, how could you not?

[2321] I didn't know that the ones, there'd be some roaming.

[2322] Okay.

[2323] I thought it was just haunted houses.

[2324] Even though you have experienced that many times before.

[2325] I've never gone there.

[2326] No, but any haunted hay ride, any of these things you go to, they're going to have people wandering around.

[2327] I don't remember that from the hay ride.

[2328] Oh, yeah.

[2329] They're everywhere.

[2330] They're crawling all over the place, scampering in and out of the...

[2331] I've only been to the hayride once, and it was a really long time ago, and I don't remember that.

[2332] Okay.

[2333] And then my other experiences with haunted houses have been when I was younger in Atlanta, we would go.

[2334] But they were just the haunted house.

[2335] Right.

[2336] Walk through the rooms.

[2337] Nothing in the parking lot.

[2338] Yeah.

[2339] I didn't know about this.

[2340] I mean, I saw when they were walking, like, oh, God.

[2341] But I didn't know they would get that...

[2342] Close.

[2343] Can we act out one and I'll be plain, like you do everything natural.

[2344] Okay.

[2345] And then I'll try to do what I'm trying to explain they do, right?

[2346] So, okay, you're walking around.

[2347] David, is the mic on?

[2348] Ew.

[2349] No, stop.

[2350] That's not what they do.

[2351] They're not cats.

[2352] Stop.

[2353] Do you know what I'm saying?

[2354] Like, at that point you're like, we already scared me. Okay.

[2355] We don't need seven.

[2356] Don't go to the well.

[2357] That's what it is.

[2358] I don't like when they go to the well.

[2359] I know.

[2360] One and done.

[2361] You get the spook and then on to the next.

[2362] I know.

[2363] Well, okay.

[2364] Okay.

[2365] Well, that was much more uncomfortable because that was a cat you made.

[2366] Well, let's try a different one.

[2367] Okay.

[2368] I had to take two.

[2369] Um, hey, so I was...

[2370] What are you?

[2371] What are you doing?

[2372] Ah.

[2373] I'm so laughing.

[2374] See, it's terrible, isn't it?

[2375] You've obviously never been.

[2376] They're not animals, okay?

[2377] They're scary.

[2378] All right, all right, all right, all right, all right, all right.

[2379] Take three.

[2380] Okay, you ready?

[2381] Hey, I'm really, do you think we're going to get pizza?

[2382] I'm going to kill you, little person.

[2383] You're dead.

[2384] Okay.

[2385] I'm taking you into the corner.

[2386] Ew.

[2387] Yes.

[2388] Shut up.

[2389] Okay.

[2390] Now you're dead.

[2391] Okay.

[2392] You're doing, you are doing a disservice to the horror.

[2393] You don't think I'm representing them very honestly.

[2394] I think it's turning out that I've never experienced this.

[2395] I know, you say the hayride and I'm like, ah, that doesn't sell.

[2396] They run up on the hayride with the fake chainsaw, or real chainsaw, no blade, and they come and they smash it on the side of the thing.

[2397] But that's while you're in the ride.

[2398] Like, after they smash it down, like just once, that's what it was.

[2399] It was the, but then they'll just stay there.

[2400] I know, but you're on the hayride.

[2401] It's different than walking.

[2402] They have them, though, as well, walking, yes, yes, I promise.

[2403] Well, anyway, I was walking, and this chainsaw guy comes up, and I screamed really loud and, like, jolted a little bit.

[2404] And I thought, yeah, then that's over.

[2405] Any pee?

[2406] No. Okay.

[2407] Then I thought, okay, that's over.

[2408] But then, no, he's hovering by me. And so I, but it was scary.

[2409] It was not like, oh, this actor won't leave me alone.

[2410] And so I started running.

[2411] And then he did chase after me. Of course.

[2412] And then I just stood by this tree and I just stared at the tree and he was lingering.

[2413] Think of the liability these companies have that do this because you're entrusting something like, okay, so he chased you.

[2414] What if you fell and fucking broke your nose?

[2415] Or what if I fell and he then fell on me with his chainsaw?

[2416] Tax.

[2417] Why did you have to do that?

[2418] Well, he fell on you.

[2419] It seems crazy.

[2420] Crazy.

[2421] So if you're going that far, what if he fell on me, his penis rubbed against?

[2422] Of course, he'll, no, God.

[2423] Okay.

[2424] All right.

[2425] If I tripped and someone's right on my heels, they could easily trip.

[2426] And land right on you.

[2427] Yes.

[2428] It feels like a lot of liability because they're making huge judgment calls.

[2429] Yes.

[2430] How far did they take it?

[2431] I want to be privy to the meeting with the management.

[2432] All right, gang, here are the rules here at haunted, what's it called haunted mansion?

[2433] A horror night.

[2434] Tina and Tona's wedding.

[2435] Well, even that.

[2436] Yes.

[2437] Okay, so.

[2438] Because, like, what if someone's having a heart attack?

[2439] Do you stay in character?

[2440] Oh, you'd never break character.

[2441] Yeah.

[2442] All right, Cass, our first night out, Tony and Tommy's wedding.

[2443] Listen, now, the folks in the bathroom, you can be around the basins, the sinks, the hair dry, the hand dryer, the towel.

[2444] What about the toilets?

[2445] No. Or about urinals.

[2446] Okay, yeah, you can be by the urinal because there's no door.

[2447] But people do have a presumed sense of privacy when they're behind the door.

[2448] So, yes, urinals are fine.

[2449] Can I show my penis?

[2450] Absolutely not.

[2451] But my character has a penis and would show it.

[2452] Because he's a predator.

[2453] Yeah, he or she would?

[2454] He's a predator.

[2455] Oh, then yeah, then of course.

[2456] Okay, good.

[2457] He's a flasher.

[2458] Exactly.

[2459] A, or what if your character was a voyeur, then you would peep into the bathroom.

[2460] They do have some of the rooms where, like, you sign a waiver and you allow them to touch you.

[2461] Oh, okay, never.

[2462] Yeah, those are, like, the insane haunted house.

[2463] I think David did one on Dark Tourist.

[2464] Oh, really?

[2465] And he can they punch you?

[2466] He gave up because they, like, kidnap you.

[2467] Okay, that's, no. This feels sexual.

[2468] Again, there are related emotions, I think.

[2469] Okay.

[2470] Fear and...

[2471] Fear and arousal.

[2472] It's arousal.

[2473] It is arousal.

[2474] Yeah.

[2475] That is true.

[2476] And it must be why a lot of people like it.

[2477] Was David protective of you?

[2478] At first, then he turned.

[2479] He turned on you.

[2480] He was protective in the first house.

[2481] But maybe he just thought this is untenable.

[2482] She's so messed up the whole time.

[2483] There's no way I can, I have the endurance for this.

[2484] Okay, I just feel like if you take someone on a haunted house.

[2485] It sounds romantic, by the way.

[2486] Well, I did think, I did think, oh, not for us.

[2487] Obviously, we're there to do an episode of a show.

[2488] but of course you're going to bring a date on this because I could not help.

[2489] I was like, holding David's waist and like just like clinging because it's so visceral and you have no control over that reaction.

[2490] So if you are a predator, can I suggest you can take your date to one of these because they will be on you and that's in some ways.

[2491] Can we start a segment called Monica's tips?

[2492] For Predators?

[2493] Yeah, of course.

[2494] Today's tip for predators.

[2495] And you could be like, well, she was touching me. She touched my waist.

[2496] Right.

[2497] She's the predator.

[2498] Did David embrace you back?

[2499] Did you pull you tighter into him?

[2500] No. Oh.

[2501] Did he ever take your head and hide it in his chest?

[2502] No. Oh.

[2503] You can imagine that, right?

[2504] We're walking through the thing and it's not, you know, oh, God.

[2505] Jesus.

[2506] Okay.

[2507] You can't really walk that well too, a time because you're going through these tiny areas and then there's curtain it's like all these curtains so really i was just behind him and yeah but then he turned okay were you grabbing his hips i don't remember i would imagine with his height and pitry why is i guess yeah the valiant thing was for him to go first although most of the attacks happened from the back that's kind of a novice no they don't they pop out like in front you're on the side okay so in front was Grabbed his hips really.

[2508] I have like the backpack with a leash for David.

[2509] Connected with a little.

[2510] The back of him was the right.

[2511] Like, it was better for me to be behind him so he could absorb the fear.

[2512] Yeah.

[2513] But then he thought it was so funny that I was so scared.

[2514] So then he stood behind him and was taking video.

[2515] Oh, okay.

[2516] So then I was on my own and that was bad.

[2517] And at one point, he tapped me and I like smacked him because I definitely was like, Why do you, like, he was trying to, I thought, be scary.

[2518] But then later he said he was just trying to check in on me. He was lying.

[2519] Yeah, he was lying.

[2520] As an act of kindness.

[2521] Anyway.

[2522] Sounds very romantic.

[2523] I think if you are interested in going on a day over Halloween, it's a good idea.

[2524] Yeah, get people touching.

[2525] Yeah, it'll get you touching.

[2526] You're touching.

[2527] So anyway, it was fun.

[2528] And it did get me in the spirit.

[2529] It did.

[2530] Nice and early.

[2531] I know.

[2532] No, so I do think one thing I will do this weekend is put up my pumpkins.

[2533] Okay.

[2534] Start my decor.

[2535] Because we're two months away.

[2536] I know.

[2537] I mean, summer.

[2538] Just sent it.

[2539] If it even did.

[2540] Is it even ended?

[2541] Technically, because I think Labor Day is technically the end of it, right?

[2542] That's ceremonially, but I don't know if it.

[2543] Not weather -wise.

[2544] Yeah, I don't know.

[2545] September 23rd is when autumn officially arrives.

[2546] But I have seen people putting up Halloween decorations already.

[2547] I know.

[2548] But, yeah, summer's not over is my point.

[2549] Yeah, but we're moving on.

[2550] Okay, all right.

[2551] My Halloween costume arrived.

[2552] You're not old enough to observe this.

[2553] Sorry, Halloween costume.

[2554] I really want to know what it is.

[2555] But I'm 48.

[2556] Yes, I know.

[2557] I am certain that summer comes a little later and lasts longer than it used to when I was younger.

[2558] Is that because we live here, though?

[2559] Well, you would think so, but I was just in.

[2560] Michigan.

[2561] I don't know.

[2562] That's a great question.

[2563] I feel like I brought this up to Aaron and he agreed.

[2564] Oh.

[2565] Because I feel like it's because we live here and it is legitimately hot on Halloween.

[2566] Well, it's, yeah, the hottest month we have is September generally.

[2567] Yeah.

[2568] In October.

[2569] Right.

[2570] Like next week we're back in a heat wave.

[2571] But I also know up in Washington, their nicest month is September.

[2572] That's when it's the warmest.

[2573] Oh, it's a warmest?

[2574] Yes.

[2575] Really?

[2576] Yes.

[2577] And it was 90.

[2578] 35 degrees on September 1st in Detroit.

[2579] Well, this is climate change.

[2580] 1980, the Atominal Equinox was the 22nd of September.

[2581] Oh, it's the same.

[2582] In June 20th.

[2583] But it being the weather is new.

[2584] I was thinking more of the oscillation.

[2585] You know how Earth is on axis, and then it's wobbling on the axis.

[2586] And it takes a long time for the wobble.

[2587] I think it's like 70 ,000 years or something.

[2588] But in that wobble, things are changing.

[2589] But clearly 48 years out of the 68 ,000 probably isn't observable in my lifetime, but it certainly feels like it is.

[2590] Well, I mean, look, right now in Duluth, Georgia, it's 85 degrees.

[2591] That's hot for September there, I think.

[2592] So it is staying hotter, longer.

[2593] That's true.

[2594] That's the warming of the hour.

[2595] Okay, now your Halloween costume.

[2596] Oh, yeah.

[2597] Okay, are we allowed to say?

[2598] So we're going as a pot with.

[2599] Like there's an embargo on...

[2600] Well, I haven't asked Kristen if we're allowed to say.

[2601] It's like a wedding where it's unlucky if you say it before.

[2602] Oh, my God.

[2603] Even think about luck.

[2604] Knock on wood.

[2605] Okay.

[2606] We are doing a pod Halloween, Harry Potter.

[2607] Yes.

[2608] Harry Potter.

[2609] Potter.

[2610] P -O -D -D -R.

[2611] Oh, my God.

[2612] And so we're all going to be different characters and it's really exciting.

[2613] And I'm going to be Rita Skeeter.

[2614] Tell us who's Reader Skeeter?

[2615] She's the bad journal.

[2616] Oh, she is.

[2617] She's naughty.

[2618] She's naughty.

[2619] What does she dress like?

[2620] She wears a silk, lime, bright green skirt and jackety thing with like a fur collar.

[2621] Oh, wow.

[2622] And red glasses.

[2623] Sarah Jessa Raphael's?

[2624] Yep.

[2625] Sally Jessie Raphael's.

[2626] Isn't that a weight loss?

[2627] Sally Jessie Raphael had a show like Donahue.

[2628] Oh, right.

[2629] And she always had colored frames.

[2630] You're generally read.

[2631] Okay.

[2632] Well, then yes.

[2633] S .J .R's.

[2634] And she has this really cool quill because she's a journalist.

[2635] And she writes my hand still.

[2636] Because she keeps leaking out stuff.

[2637] And people don't understand how this stuff is getting out.

[2638] And it's because she's an unregistered animagus.

[2639] Anamagus?

[2640] She turns into a fly, but it's unregistered.

[2641] Oh, flies.

[2642] Ding, ding.

[2643] I know.

[2644] I'm meant to be her.

[2645] And she zips around.

[2646] So she's getting all this gossip.

[2647] Okay.

[2648] You have to be registered as in an animagus.

[2649] And are you going to be in character or just wearing an owl?

[2650] Like, are you going to be walking around trying to get gossip?

[2651] And then you could end up being as one of these performers.

[2652] I think I might.

[2653] Oh boy.

[2654] You know, I had a real hard time with, we one time went to a kind of mystery birthday party.

[2655] I was going to ask you.

[2656] We've done it twice.

[2657] You don't like it?

[2658] I don't like it.

[2659] Well, the time we did it with just our tight net group, I liked it.

[2660] Okay.

[2661] Another time we did it was with much more people.

[2662] and I really didn't like it.

[2663] I did not like it.

[2664] It's felt like being forced to do an entire comedy night of stand -up, first time ever.

[2665] First time up on a microphone and do three hours of that.

[2666] You know what's funny.

[2667] I have a very fond memory of that evening.

[2668] Oh, you do?

[2669] Mm -hmm.

[2670] I don't know if I was working for you guys yet or I had just, just started.

[2671] Okay.

[2672] You saw me at my worst then.

[2673] No, you asked me to come sit with you and chat.

[2674] Outside by the pool.

[2675] Yeah, and I remember it.

[2676] Yeah.

[2677] It was really nice that you asked me to do that.

[2678] Well, as you remember, I always liked you, remember?

[2679] Yes, and it is so weird that that's you.

[2680] Like, I have such a cognitive dissonance around the person then versus you and me now in our relationship.

[2681] It's so weird.

[2682] Right.

[2683] Our power dynamic is dramatically shifted.

[2684] but just like the intimacy like it's so crazy to think well am i right to say like i was a guy on television yeah i wasn't a guy on television no right well but not even it's not just that you were a guy on television it's more than that you have a very it's hard for me to click into this and remember but you have a very strong presence okay in a good way like it's very very I think it's very hard to miss you when you're in a room, even like your energy.

[2685] Okay.

[2686] Wow.

[2687] This is very flattering.

[2688] And yeah, and it's like an alluring energy.

[2689] And so when someone like that, and I really, I mean, I'm sure the TV parts a little bit of it, but I think a lot of it's just you.

[2690] When someone is shining their light on you like that, it's very nice and feels really good.

[2691] But now I'm like, shine that thing somewhere else.

[2692] Yeah, get this light.

[2693] His light is bright.

[2694] This blinding, man. Give it a rest.

[2695] No, don't give it a rest.

[2696] But also, it's just really funny because that is a completely different person.

[2697] Well, and by the way, I definitely have, I have Coucher when he was like the first super famous person I knew and I couldn't stop thinking about his fame.

[2698] And the first times we were, like the beginning of our friendship, I was distracted by what I knew about him.

[2699] that he had this magic power, which was he was famous.

[2700] It was like a magic power.

[2701] But I don't think I'm saying that.

[2702] Right.

[2703] And I'm not saying you are.

[2704] I'm just saying I know what it's like to be aware of that with him and then completely unaware of it.

[2705] Right.

[2706] Right.

[2707] Where it's like I actually have not thought about that in 20 years or whatever it's been.

[2708] But did you feel a shift from when you first met me to now or no?

[2709] No, you're the same kid I liked back then.

[2710] I met this little brown kid hanging out at the party.

[2711] I was like, who's this little girl?

[2712] This little miniature person.

[2713] Really?

[2714] Yeah.

[2715] What do you mean?

[2716] I think I'm the same?

[2717] Yeah.

[2718] Oh, man. But wait.

[2719] Isn't that great?

[2720] I don't know.

[2721] I guess I don't know what the ideal is.

[2722] I mean, yeah, I guess it is good that I'm the same.

[2723] He was just a smart gal that was around the girl.

[2724] And I'm going to, like, chat with anyone who I think is smart.

[2725] Yeah.

[2726] I'm going to be immediately drawn to someone.

[2727] Right.

[2728] Nobody not offend anyone that doesn't think of themselves as smart.

[2729] Who doesn't identify as smart?

[2730] If you don't identify as smart, I encourage you to because you are.

[2731] You are, yeah, yeah, everyone's smart.

[2732] Everyone is smart.

[2733] Yeah.

[2734] Well, that's a few exceptions.

[2735] No, everyone is smart, not in the same way.

[2736] Right.

[2737] But everyone has a type of intelligence.

[2738] I believe that.

[2739] Yeah, I'm reading a book right now about, it's got a chapter about these chess players, black kids.

[2740] and how the premise of the teacher was there's zero difference in aptitude -only experience.

[2741] Yeah.

[2742] And a firm belief in that, which is wonderful.

[2743] And then they mopped up, you know, they kicked ass, of course.

[2744] Anything black folks do, they do better than us pretty quickly.

[2745] Well, better than you.

[2746] Yeah, better than me. We're not better than you.

[2747] Yeah, I love it.

[2748] Black folks in golf, best of all time.

[2749] Fucking get into Formula One.

[2750] But we've been excluding you for 60 of the years you're here.

[2751] Then you fucking set all the records and win seven in a row.

[2752] Pretty awesome.

[2753] It is.

[2754] Motorcross.

[2755] Best rider is black.

[2756] So cool.

[2757] Wow.

[2758] That's awesome.

[2759] Uh -huh.

[2760] It is.

[2761] Okay.

[2762] This is for Adina.

[2763] Oh, wonderful.

[2764] I adore Adina.

[2765] I know.

[2766] I liked her so much and I was surprised by her.

[2767] Or I guess I imagine her to be like more buttoned up or something.

[2768] Well, she even, that comes up in the interview where I think maybe a lot of people have told her to be.

[2769] Oh, right.

[2770] You get it together.

[2771] See a little more proper.

[2772] Okay.

[2773] You mentioned the triple Lindy.

[2774] Yeah, do you know what that's from?

[2775] Well, I looked it up.

[2776] It's song, back to school.

[2777] Oh, and a Rodney Dangerfield.

[2778] Rodney Dangerfield starred in a movie called Class.

[2779] It's wonderful.

[2780] Yeah.

[2781] Well, it says no. It says from the movie Back to School, 1986.

[2782] Yeah, back to school.

[2783] Sorry, not class.

[2784] Sorry, sorry, sorry.

[2785] Back to school with Rodney Dangerfield.

[2786] and he played a guy who owned Melman's suits and he would say in the commercials if you want to look skinny hang out with fatter people that was the commercials So he was a crass His character was crass right But he was a hustler And he made all this money His kid goes away to college He goes and joins him at college And what we learn about him is he was a championship diver Oh my God He's jumping on all the diving boards This is some little oh wow all right well feel free to look up triple lindy oh what a moment back to school you know that's what i was saying the to some guess i was trying to make the point that what i what i dreamed about and being in comedies would be exactly that which is i everyone my age knows what a triple lindy is like it's a joke that ends up being something everyone knows and can forever say the triple lindy.

[2787] Stupid comedy becomes a part of the lexicon.

[2788] Yeah, for sure.

[2789] Okay, so her on the billboard, we couldn't remember the exact what it says on the front of the cover.

[2790] And it's the, in parentheses, not so new, quote, it girl.

[2791] Uh -huh.

[2792] Do you like that title?

[2793] If you were her, would you want that to be the...

[2794] I guess I wouldn't bother me because it's saying, like, I've been around.

[2795] Right.

[2796] Which she has.

[2797] Okay, there's some speculation that John Travolta does have dyslexia.

[2798] Oh, yeah, I think he's known to.

[2799] Well, really?

[2800] Yes.

[2801] Well, when I typed it in, it just like stuff comes up that's like, says it, but it doesn't seem, I don't know, maybe, it's maybe.

[2802] Travolta issued a statement through his publicist.

[2803] This was after it happened.

[2804] Really quickly.

[2805] Mm -hmm.

[2806] I think the reason I know the dyslexia thing is I think he has said Scientology cured him of his dyslexia.

[2807] And I think Tom Cruise has said the same thing.

[2808] Oh, really?

[2809] This whole, they have a tradition of called word clearing.

[2810] Right.

[2811] And so I think I want to say he has given credit.

[2812] I think that's why I know there was dyslexia.

[2813] But you try it?

[2814] I should go.

[2815] Yeah.

[2816] He said, I've been beating myself up all day.

[2817] Then I thought, what would Adina Menzel say?

[2818] She'd say, let it go, let it go.

[2819] Oh, pretty good.

[2820] So I write that for him.

[2821] Adina is incredibly talented.

[2822] I'm so happy Frozen took home to Oscar Sunday night.

[2823] I would tell her, let it go, let it go.

[2824] I feel like I should play it.

[2825] Oh, yeah, it's so funny.

[2826] Yeah.

[2827] I hadn't even considered the notion that she's about to sing.

[2828] I know.

[2829] I forgot, like, even when I brought it up, I don't remember that she had to sing afterwards, so it's not very funny.

[2830] I know.

[2831] But otherwise, it would be so funny because it's such a mangling of it.

[2832] It is, but if it was me, I would just, because I'm me, I'd be like, of course.

[2833] No one even knows my name.

[2834] Like, how embarrassing.

[2835] same right there will always be a special place in my heart for the movie musical and for the songs that create their most memorable moments here perform the oscar nominated gorgeously empowering song let it go from the oscar winning animated movie frozen wickedly please welcome the wickedly talented one and only adela zine oh what's worse than i remember a dildizim no that like It's not that he didn't know her name.

[2836] He definitely scrambled what he was reading.

[2837] That's almost better than saying the wrong name.

[2838] It is.

[2839] It is.

[2840] Like, you can see he was scrambling.

[2841] The wicked, maybe it's because he took such a big swing with wicked.

[2842] He really did.

[2843] You think he's about to fucking slam that name.

[2844] The wickedly talented adult.

[2845] He really trails off at the beginning.

[2846] He does, he does.

[2847] And then it's like, well, I can't, I got to just commit.

[2848] Play it one more time.

[2849] Just the end.

[2850] The end.

[2851] It's so funny.

[2852] It shouldn't be as funny as it is.

[2853] It's like seeing someone flip on a banana peel.

[2854] I mean, it's a real gap.

[2855] Let it go from the Oscar winning animated movie Frozen.

[2856] Please welcome the wickedly talented one and only a dozen.

[2857] Oh, man. Also, it's a phase.

[2858] Oh, no. It looks like he.

[2859] Oh, God.

[2860] I hesitate in saying this, but it looked like a stroke.

[2861] I know, I know, I know, I know.

[2862] I know, I did.

[2863] Popular thing to say, but you could definitely think that that's what happened there.

[2864] Oh, my.

[2865] Because his face shut down there for a second.

[2866] I mean.

[2867] If I were her, I would illegally change my name the next day to Adele Dazim just as a real fucking, look what a good sense of humor I have.

[2868] Oh, my God.

[2869] Was it funny?

[2870] Wow.

[2871] Prior to talking to her about it, I have always felt worse for him in that situation.

[2872] than her same i'm like you know someone mangles my day whatever but if i mangled someone's name the length of time i'd beat myself up so i just immediately felt bad for him i know but then when she was talking about i was like yeah that sucks it does yeah i feel bad for both of them at this point yeah that's where i've landed okay so there was a whole album called guilty oh there was Mm -hmm.

[2873] Well, I did a deep dive on the different kinds of robes.

[2874] Prompted by what?

[2875] Because her dad was a pajama salesman, and she was talking about, she could remember the exact name of like a silk robe.

[2876] Silk robe or silk pajamas?

[2877] Robe.

[2878] They also had robes.

[2879] Camono.

[2880] Keep behind the kimono.

[2881] Camono is traditional.

[2882] floor length but they're available in long and short styles and they make a great accessory whether you're relaxing at home or using them as an outer garment for a night on the town they're encouraging you to wear the robe on a night on the town if you want if you oh my god if you wear a robe to the scary mansion with your betrothed or your suitor yeah they'd love that silky silky oh yeah but also the tie you would definitely trip Oh, sure.

[2883] You have to be careful.

[2884] Double knot it.

[2885] There's shawl collar.

[2886] Should I go through all the robes?

[2887] Sure.

[2888] I'm not going to.

[2889] I'm not going to.

[2890] But there are.

[2891] Is there one that you love that you want to tell me the name?

[2892] Shall collar.

[2893] Shall collar.

[2894] A baller.

[2895] A shawl collar.

[2896] We also.

[2897] I wish I was a little bit taller.

[2898] Wish I was a baller.

[2899] I think I had a rabbit in a hat?

[2900] What did that sound?

[2901] I think I had a six -four father.

[2902] What line am I supposed to see now?

[2903] Shawl collar.

[2904] Okay.

[2905] I wish I was a shawl collar, a little bit taller.

[2906] Ski -low.

[2907] Oh, my God.

[2908] Okay, I need you some fast math.

[2909] All right.

[2910] Because we were talking about how old people actually were, were in our heads.

[2911] They seemed so old.

[2912] Yep.

[2913] We were talking about the movie, whatever happened to baby Jane.

[2914] Now, that movie.

[2915] came out in 1962.

[2916] Okay.

[2917] Betty Davis was born in 1908.

[2918] Okay.

[2919] What, 62?

[2920] Mm -hmm.

[2921] So she was 54.

[2922] Yeah.

[2923] That's young.

[2924] Yeah.

[2925] I'm almost there.

[2926] No, you have six years.

[2927] Oh, yeah.

[2928] For real, now that you said that.

[2929] Is that a knock on wood?

[2930] Yeah.

[2931] Okay.

[2932] Joan Crawford was born in, oh my, God.

[2933] Oh, my star?

[2934] She was born in 190 question mark.

[2935] Oh, wow.

[2936] It's 190 question mark.

[2937] There's a note.

[2938] Crawford's year of birth is uncertain.

[2939] As various sources claim 1904, 1905, 1906, and 1908.

[2940] Crawford herself widely claim 1908, the date on her tombstone.

[2941] So probably earlier.

[2942] But Crawford's daughter states 1904 twice in the biography, Mommy Dearest.

[2943] Well, let's go with 1906 that's a compromise okay she's claiming four the mom's claiming eight let's go with six okay all right so she's born in 1906 and what math are we doing 1962 okay well that's gonna be 56 wow yeah so they're they're not old no but back then but back then that was old you know the age thing with the teachers is one thing but then the other one that it just knocked me out cold was I had not seen my eighth grade teacher seventh and eighth grade teacher Larry Leclair, who was also our basketball coach, Larry Leclair.

[2944] Larry Leclair was 6, 6, I would say.

[2945] Yeah.

[2946] And I was walking through the grocery store when I was like 26, bumped into him.

[2947] Yeah.

[2948] I was taller than him.

[2949] What?

[2950] Yeah.

[2951] I was like a half inch taller than Larry Leclair.

[2952] I was like, oh my God, that just made me realize what I look like to 14 -year -olds.

[2953] I could have never imagined I looked as tall as Larry LaClair looked when I was.

[2954] You thought he was a giant I thought he was six six Like in my mind he's six six You thought so many things That were wrong At that age What else did I?

[2955] That 10 % of your school Was in special education program And really it was like 10 kids Which we confirmed Yeah why I wonder if it's because they were in charge So many tasks at the school So your interaction was like asymmetrical to the population maybe?

[2956] I don't know.

[2957] But yeah, I've already talked about their duties.

[2958] Collected impeachment, collected the attendance in the morning.

[2959] And then Clark and Pete and Nicole, they were doing a lot of the custodial work in the cafeteria.

[2960] Yeah.

[2961] You don't need to know all the duties.

[2962] I don't think so.

[2963] Hold on because I'm looking for something.

[2964] something that's lost.

[2965] So you, I think, accidentally made a joke, well, not a joke, but you were saying that if Timothy Shalach, you use it as an example and you're like, if Timothy Shalame got into hip hop, I'd be like, okay, it's, and it would have to be really, really, really good.

[2966] Yeah, to get me in.

[2967] Exactly.

[2968] Now, turns out.

[2969] No. No, no, no, no, no, no. Oh, Timmy Tim, Chip Timmy Tim, hey, no, Chip Tim, hey, don't chop, hey, don't chop, hey, dog chop, hey, don't chop.

[2970] Oh, wow, he's actually good at dancing.

[2971] Not chop, hey, knock up, hey, no top, hey, I'm talking, little tippy, too.

[2972] It's time to do my day, is Timmy Tim, pull up your pants.

[2973] Who leave who cool shit, I think my way, just be from France.

[2974] It's little Timmy Tim.

[2975] I am a ball.

[2976] Is this like a high school challenge?

[2977] This is kind of career ending, isn't it?

[2978] Now, you know how I have access to that?

[2979] Why?

[2980] Yes, but Emma went to high school with Timothy Shawlame.

[2981] No. He takes off a shirt and it says text me with his phone number written on it.

[2982] Oh, he loved action.

[2983] He says, I went to high school.

[2984] She says I went to high school with him, and this video has gone since viral.

[2985] So I guess people have seen it.

[2986] But so weird that you said that.

[2987] It is very weird.

[2988] Yep.

[2989] It's very, very weird.

[2990] But mostly, all I can concentrate on is how grateful I am that no one was videoing me in high school.

[2991] I was taking huge.

[2992] Like, I remember we went to seventh grade camp or Aaron and I fell in love.

[2993] There was kind of like a tail -and -y show thing at the very end of it.

[2994] At the end of camp, we had to put on a little show.

[2995] And I ended up doing impersonations of all of our teachers.

[2996] Oh, that's cute.

[2997] It went really well.

[2998] In fact, probably my first moment of performing, performing.

[2999] Ah, yeah.

[3000] I have a memory of what that looked like.

[3001] I'm sure if I saw a videotape of it right now, it would be mortified.

[3002] Right now.

[3003] And you probably were a little racist.

[3004] No, well, listen, there's a photo of me in the yearbook, seventh grade yearbook, at seventh grade camp on stage, and I'm doing the peewee Herman dance.

[3005] Which is what?

[3006] D -de -de -da -da -da -da -da -da.

[3007] That's so cute.

[3008] there's a photo of me in the that's it but that's as close as it gets to being able to revisit that that's really cute it was a oh what a what a wonderful experience that was people laughing oh yeah yeah that was the first i know that first laugh well you wow i yeah i haven't really thought of that but that's sweet nip off that little i know bottle and boy you just can't wait to do it again the bug is real when they say you got bit by the acting bug they mean like it's a virus like you never get rid of it it it stays in your blood yes speaking of i have 24 mosquito bites right now from where i was at erika and charlie's house and they had a lot of mosquitoes then i went somewhere else the next day that had a lot like a ton of mosquitoes and i'm covered my leg i just hung some mosquito zappers all around my pergola oh good and by the coal plunge.

[3009] Since we're hanging out this weekend, I'm glad you're doing.

[3010] Let me clear out the mosquitoes first.

[3011] Back to that high school video.

[3012] Okay.

[3013] I want to say that I have a real objection, and I think it's unethical, when people released audition tapes, which they do.

[3014] But sometimes they're great.

[3015] Okay.

[3016] Well, if someone wanted to do it, like Drew Barrymore for E .T., that's kind of worthwhile.

[3017] But that's generally not, like in an audition year, like in a, chair.

[3018] It's just, it's such a vulnerable in your, it is.

[3019] I agree.

[3020] I just feel like it's so unethical for people to put that stuff out there.

[3021] But they really only do it right if you got the part.

[3022] No, there have been many leaks of like from casting directors tape collections where all these things come out and they're not flattering.

[3023] They're not to celebrate the person who got the role.

[3024] So they look at their audition.

[3025] And I almost feel that way about posting people's like high school talent show.

[3026] I just feel like that is such a moment in time.

[3027] It is.

[3028] It is.

[3029] 17 years old.

[3030] It is.

[3031] It's not fair for someone.

[3032] It's not fair, but it's also, I hope people can just take it in the right way, which is like we all were that.

[3033] We were all dumb dumbs and we made tons of mistakes and they're going to keep happening.

[3034] I just feel like you should be able to make that.

[3035] Like, I wouldn't want this knowing, like, if you grow up laughing at tape of people in high school from some years back, you're definitely going to be less inclined to participate in your high school thing.

[3036] Oh, yeah.

[3037] Like, I don't like that it dissuades people.

[3038] people from living out loud because it's going to be captured and ridiculed and scrutinized.

[3039] Unfortunately, that is the current culture.

[3040] I know.

[3041] I don't like that.

[3042] Everything is.

[3043] And there's an ethical thing there that I feel like is not good.

[3044] So you want me to cut that?

[3045] Oh, no, no, no. Well, that's a great question.

[3046] I don't want to.

[3047] I know.

[3048] Because to me. We're in a pickle.

[3049] We're back at Taylor Swift right now.

[3050] We're looking at the line.

[3051] There's no way we're getting through it before T .S. gets on.

[3052] But we have to get merch.

[3053] Be dead if we don't get merch.

[3054] So what do?

[3055] No, I believe in our arm cherries.

[3056] Also, most of our, I don't think we have like five -year -old arm cherries yet.

[3057] Like, I think most of them are out of high school.

[3058] Okay.

[3059] Most.

[3060] I would think, I would think the vast majority or not.

[3061] So I don't think they're personally going to be dissuaded, but I hope that they can hear it like we can, which is like, oh, high school is, you like.

[3062] High school is yikes for everyone.

[3063] Yes, yes.

[3064] And we all make mistakes.

[3065] I was going to take you on a little tangent.

[3066] Okay.

[3067] Which is really funny you'd say no one in high school is listening because it just all hit me. I don't know if it was being back in Michigan or somewhere else.

[3068] But what I realized is I have not been in anything in a long enough period that young people would have seen, right?

[3069] Like first I was in punk.

[3070] Young people watched that, right?

[3071] But parenthood's 10 years away.

[3072] Oh, wait, so if you're a 16 -year -old kid right now, you were six.

[3073] Yeah.

[3074] So you don't, I've been off TV long enough that you could put me in a high school and I'm probably no one's going to recognize me. Right.

[3075] And how does that make you feel?

[3076] It makes me just recognize the reality of time passing and generations and that I'm in a genera, you know, it makes me cognizant of the fact that I'm moving through these chapters of life.

[3077] Yeah.

[3078] And ultimately you get irrelevant.

[3079] Like, this is what my mother tells.

[3080] tells me all the time that she's struggling with.

[3081] It's like you have so much relevance in your life because you're the provider and you're this and that and you're taking kids to the school.

[3082] You know, you have so much relevance.

[3083] Yeah.

[3084] And then increasingly no one's relying on you.

[3085] They don't think your opinion's very interesting.

[3086] Yeah, that's a hardship.

[3087] And it's just a slow decline into irrelevance, which is heartbreaking.

[3088] But you have to build that for yourself.

[3089] This is only if you're making your relevance in this world about other people's reliance and opinion on you.

[3090] I made the observation, and I did not have the thought.

[3091] I need to get myself in something to keep this going, right?

[3092] Like, it didn't cross my mind, like, well, I need to do something that skews younger.

[3093] Yeah.

[3094] I just was like, I recognize that's gone.

[3095] That part of my life where young people know me is gone because I'm a certain age.

[3096] It's just a very, you know, interesting experience.

[3097] Wow.

[3098] That's a new segment called Dax evaluates his own fame.

[3099] Oh.

[3100] It's like the gross.

[3101] That's literally what I just did.

[3102] No, it can be you evaluate time, the passage of time.

[3103] Granddaddy time.

[3104] Old granddaddy's kisses.

[3105] Oh, sweet, sweet kisses.

[3106] All right.

[3107] Well, that's pretty much it.

[3108] All right.

[3109] And I guess we'll be hanging out this weekend.

[3110] I'm going to get rid of them skeeters.

[3111] Yeah, you got to.

[3112] First step.

[3113] And I got to get some pop -outs because it's the season and you like pop -outs.

[3114] We've got to get Ferrier's.

[3115] sturdy hips over here for you to squeeze on when the pop -outs happen in the mosquito -free environment.

[3116] You know, actually...

[3117] I wonder if he had nail marks in his hips the next morning.

[3118] It wasn't his hips necessary.

[3119] You're so...

[3120] You're so hung up on his hips.

[3121] What would you grab his waist?

[3122] That would be way weirder if you're behind him.

[3123] It was like the back goes kind of like his arm.

[3124] I forgot about his arm.

[3125] But he's so tall.

[3126] There we go.

[3127] He might have got a little hip.

[3128] I don't know.

[3129] His wrist, maybe.

[3130] His hip or his wrist?

[3131] No, no. No, because he also, he was also holding the dictaphone.

[3132] So his arm was bent.

[3133] So it was like, he calls it that, but I don't.

[3134] He calls him that.

[3135] Oh, he does.

[3136] Yeah.

[3137] Is he making the show in 1930?

[3138] He has been doing this much longer than we have, to be fair to him.

[3139] So long that he's still calling it a dicta phone, yeah.

[3140] Maybe.

[3141] Maybe that is why.

[3142] Anywho, all right.

[3143] That's it.

[3144] Love you.

[3145] Happy Halloween, everybody.

[3146] This was recorded on Halloween.

[3147] Follow Armchair Expert on the Wondry app, Amazon Music, or wherever you get your podcasts.

[3148] You can listen to every episode of Armchair Expert early and ad free right now by joining Wondry Plus in the Wondry app or on Apple Podcasts.

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