Dwyane Wade

[0] Welcome, welcome, welcome to armchair expert.

[1] Happy 2022, Monica.

[2] 2020, Dan.

[3] Oh, it's here.

[4] It's here.

[5] It's here.

[6] New Year.

[7] And we start with a huge guess, figuratively and literally.

[8] That's right.

[9] Dwayne Wade is a three -time NBA champion, an Olympic gold medalist, a producer and activist, and a philanthropist.

[10] And he has a smile that won't quit.

[11] Yeah, gang.

[12] It was really thrilling to just be in the same room as Monica, observing Dwayne.

[13] He was stunning.

[14] Yeah, it was incredible.

[15] He has a new book out.

[16] He's written a couple of Father's First and Shady Baby.

[17] He has a new book, Dwayne, which is so beautiful.

[18] It's stunning.

[19] It's a photographic memoir, and it's a deep dive into one of the greatest players we've ever had.

[20] Yeah.

[21] Please enjoy Dwayne Wade.

[22] Wondry Plus subscribers can listen to Armchair Expert early and ad free right now.

[23] Join Wondry Plus in the Wondry app or on Apple Podcasts.

[24] Or you can listen for fun.

[25] free wherever you get your podcasts No, my shoe contract is in China.

[26] I'll have like a Nike deal.

[27] But you must collect Jordans.

[28] You know, I only have one pair of Jordans.

[29] One pair.

[30] What model year?

[31] My favorite pair, the first Jordans ever.

[32] The ones?

[33] Yeah, the ones.

[34] Made his feet bleed up when he played in him.

[35] Yeah, what is the band?

[36] Those called the band.

[37] Is it?

[38] That was the color way that Jordan wore some.

[39] And I keep those in storch because I can't ever wear them.

[40] Uh -huh.

[41] But it's the, you know, it's the first pair of shoe I fell in love with, so.

[42] Yeah, I wonder, like, because we're such different ages.

[43] I think I'm a good, like, seven, eight years older.

[44] What year were you born?

[45] 82.

[46] Yeah, seven years.

[47] I'm 75.

[48] So when I was in high school, the fours were out in ninth grade, the fifths came out in 10th grade.

[49] I couldn't afford either.

[50] So now I have all of them.

[51] That's crazy how it works, right?

[52] I remember when the Pat Letters came out, the Pad Letters came out, the Black and Reds, and my cousin, who at the time, shout out to Antoine Wade, Wood, we call him.

[53] He had a job.

[54] He worked at McDonald's.

[55] He saved his money up every week.

[56] He was working throughout the summer and all that, and I was just over there relaxing.

[57] Sure.

[58] Romance and relaxing for the summer, but he was working.

[59] And I remember the day that Jordan came out, and he went and stood in line.

[60] And, like, back in the day, you had to get there early.

[61] you know maybe the day before like it was that kind of thing foot locker probably yeah it was one yeah full locker he had a little friend that was i'm gonna put one in the soccer of course but long story short he came in with the jordan's and i remember like when he brought him in the room i remember just staying at them for about an hour yeah just like this is the most beautiful thing i've ever seen even the box the box they come in it's like glistening i mean they are and like so that's the reason i started my own shoe brand is because of growing up in chicago out of lisa michael jordan yeah And so from that love, you know, I thought, you know what, let me try it.

[62] I can't decide because we've actually interviewed now a handful, oddly enough, from the 2003 draft.

[63] This is getting suspicious.

[64] Like, we've only interviewed a handful of players.

[65] Yeah.

[66] And three or four of them were in the 2003 draft.

[67] So you're like older interviewers.

[68] We're like a mature player.

[69] You like people who can speak on their experience.

[70] It's only because Lamb Beer wasn't available.

[71] So we.

[72] But I sometimes I'm like.

[73] I vacillate between either thinking it was amazing that y 'all grew up with Jordan or I feel terrible y 'all grew up with Jordan.

[74] I can't figure out where I land on it.

[75] It's got to be a bit of both.

[76] But doesn't everyone have a Jordan?

[77] Like every era has a LeBron is this era's, Kobe Bryant, Kareem or Magic like Larry, and the list goes on and on, right?

[78] So I think everyone I guess.

[79] But I do think Jordan's more like Abe Lincoln.

[80] Like, sure.

[81] Okay.

[82] You know what I'm It's a different level of goateness is interesting.

[83] I think so, don't you think?

[84] Yeah, I know, yeah.

[85] Yes, I think, yes.

[86] Yeah, like, I think, let's just say for Isaiah Thomas and Michael Jordan, when they were growing up in the shadow of bird and magic, those were achievable goal.

[87] Five championships, that was achievable goal?

[88] What?

[89] Well, Michael Jordan had spoiled us, man. It is true.

[90] But you could pass these guys, other than Bill Russell, right?

[91] What did he have 11 or something?

[92] You know, just a light, 11.

[93] Those achievable goal days.

[94] You know, coaching the team and playing on it at the same time.

[95] Yeah, that sounds likely to happen to someone.

[96] Okay, maybe you're right.

[97] But I do feel like for y 'all, like, the best you could do is ultimately end up, like, being seen as an equal maybe.

[98] It's hard to now pass Jordan.

[99] I say, let's keep living.

[100] Okay.

[101] And we keep living.

[102] Sounds like I'm more hung up on this than you.

[103] Yeah.

[104] You've thought about it a lot.

[105] I just watched the game.

[106] Like, I watched players play today.

[107] like I thought I was good and I'm like I can't they're way better than me oh you think does it generally get better yes it does like it I mean like of course these these goats these names that we throw out it's not going to just be a lot of those players but the game continue to keep moving forward and so we're going to continue to see things we've never seen before and the eyes are going to get younger and younger as I we're not going to be once having a conversation about the goats now it's going to be the younger younger younger generation and they're going to forget about Jordan, like we forget about Kareem.

[108] Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[109] I guess from my memory, he just was so many things.

[110] He got all the championships, but also largely a one -man show, but also could include everyone when that was necessary.

[111] Some of these other players, I'm going to get off this topic.

[112] But he was the first.

[113] Because I know you're like, you know what?

[114] The last thing I need to do is come here and talk to you about basketball.

[115] Well, now I'm going to say, now I'm roped in.

[116] But I think that he was the first one that transcended.

[117] If you don't care about basketball, you still care about him.

[118] You might still have a picture of him on your wall, even if you don't really care about basketball.

[119] Well, yeah, he was the first icon.

[120] Yeah, exactly.

[121] In basketball, I believe, right?

[122] Yeah, yeah, he was Michael Jackson level.

[123] Yes, Mike Tyson level.

[124] And that's why it's hard for anyone to jump over the jump man because of the iconicness of been the first.

[125] Yeah.

[126] At the same of the day, he was the first.

[127] I mean, Jordan was global.

[128] like before anybody knew anything about global.

[129] Yeah.

[130] You know what I'm saying?

[131] So yeah, yeah, yeah.

[132] All that.

[133] I grew up in Chicago.

[134] So, I mean, we could sit here to be like, oh, it's 8 o 'clock.

[135] Like, I could talk.

[136] Jordan.

[137] Then you must have hated my Detroit Pistons.

[138] Or were you too young?

[139] No, no. You're never too young to hate the Pistons.

[140] Jay, we're from Chicago, man. Listen, and Isaiah Thomas is from Chicago.

[141] He is.

[142] And he's a Chicago, like, you know, he's the greatest player in Chicago.

[143] Yeah.

[144] Growing up young, I didn't grow up watching Isaiah, so I didn't really understand the Chicago connection at the time.

[145] Yeah.

[146] I just knew he was on the Pistons, and I couldn't stand him.

[147] That's right.

[148] And I love him now.

[149] Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[150] I love you.

[151] Yeah, I mean, he is like the original hoop dream dude, Isaiah, for Chicago.

[152] He, like, he was the pride of that place.

[153] And yeah, and I mean, number one, can you mention being going to be number one in your hometown where you were?

[154] Right.

[155] That's a crazy ride.

[156] Yeah, I've been on the other side of that, them booze in your hometown.

[157] So, yeah, I know a little bit.

[158] I know a little bit about it.

[159] I got to make one argument for Isaiah to elevate him, if I can, if you'll indulge me. Yes, I will.

[160] You just were outside and you're like, I said, I'm into cars.

[161] Oh, what kind of cars are you into?

[162] And then I point to this old stupid station wagon.

[163] That's really fast.

[164] And what I like about it is no one at a stoplight thinks you're going to smoke them in that.

[165] I like being underestimated.

[166] Thanks.

[167] And Isaiah was suspiciously cute.

[168] He was real cute.

[169] And you might think he was weak.

[170] And then this dude plays game seven on a broken ankle, broken ankle, all 48 minutes.

[171] And I'm like, I dig that.

[172] I dig the guy with the smile is the toughest guy in the game.

[173] There's something about it I really like.

[174] Yeah.

[175] I love how you just broke that down.

[176] I know why this podcast is so successful.

[177] Oh, it's a full therapy session.

[178] Get ready.

[179] Lie down.

[180] I try to imagine what my main desire is when I'm interviewing someone that I'm fascinated with.

[181] Like, what is the cornerstone of what I think is unique about them?

[182] Like, when I'm watching your documentary and I'm reading about you, the number one thing that pops out to me that is so different from myself is something I'm going to broadly label confidence.

[183] And there's two real moments where I'm in awe of your inner confidence in the lane you're in.

[184] One is your mom was an addict.

[185] I know what this is like.

[186] I know two different households, stepbrothers, step sisters, the whole thing.

[187] your mom ends up going to jail and you haven't been with her much and then she gets out and you're in the playoffs in college and you're like come yeah dude he said dude that's fucking big i admire that and i'm so i'm punitive like i want to punish the people that didn't show up for me i'm resentful i just i can't believe especially i imagine you were what 20 years old at that point where you make that decision yeah i was um yeah Around 2021, young.

[188] How do you have that level of like, I'm not going to punish you, I'm going to recognize that what you did was your journey and isn't reflective of how you felt about me?

[189] Like, these are all really, I think, 40 -year -old realization.

[190] Yeah, that I didn't have at the time.

[191] I didn't have this perspective that I have at 39.

[192] Right.

[193] So at the time, it was just, and it plays until today, I just always have, I lead everything with love.

[194] And if I love you, I don't judge you by.

[195] how you decide to live your life.

[196] I knew my mom was going through something that I didn't understand, but I knew I loved her that I had an influence in her life.

[197] And so I wanted to use my influence to get her to the space that she's in today.

[198] Yeah.

[199] But not really understanding everything.

[200] I just knew in my sister and I and our family, we just knew that love was going to be the final answer and it wasn't going to be from the hate or the pointing of the fingers.

[201] And because as we've learned now that we're older, we all have our own journey in life.

[202] And sometimes the steps that we take left or right, it affects someone behind us.

[203] And we're doing it selfishly because we're living life ourselves.

[204] Yeah.

[205] I'm pretty busy thinking about myself, to be honest.

[206] Right.

[207] You know what I think about me a lot all day.

[208] You take the wrong step sometime.

[209] And my mom took a bad step and she never could get back on track.

[210] And it took us as a family and obviously her hard work and God's will to get her back on track.

[211] But when you were a kid, I guess my assumption, and maybe I'm wrong, is that when that was happening, you didn't allow her actions to inform you about whether or not she loved you.

[212] Right.

[213] That seems almost impossible for a child to do.

[214] I guess she loved me a lot.

[215] I guess she put a lot of love into me because it never, it has never questioned my mind if my mother loved me or not.

[216] Okay.

[217] Were you religious?

[218] Are you?

[219] Were you?

[220] Our family was?

[221] Like my grandma, I go to church every Sunday.

[222] My mom, eventually, she became a pastor.

[223] She gave up the church.

[224] She lived about here now and she's still preaching in her own way, but she became a pastor, I think, for about 15 years.

[225] Oh, wow.

[226] And for me, I've always just went along with understanding a higher being in and being in and out of church as a kid, not really liking the hours.

[227] I never liked the hours in church.

[228] Yeah.

[229] I'm going to also, I'm going to give them a bad checkmark for the comfort there, too.

[230] Yeah.

[231] Those wooden fucking pews you said.

[232] Come on.

[233] But just along the journey, a family has always felt a covering in a sense.

[234] Well, I've always felt a covering in a sense.

[235] I've always the people around.

[236] But in the midst of that covering, we all have our own paths in life.

[237] And it took my mom to go down her path for me to clear out a path for me because I was able to see something different.

[238] Unfortunately, it took her to go that way.

[239] It took my dad to go this way for me to see something.

[240] Okay, I'm not going to do that.

[241] I'm going to do this.

[242] And so I'm thankful for their journey.

[243] You have an older sister.

[244] Trigiel.

[245] Yeah.

[246] Yeah.

[247] She's probably part of that bedrock.

[248] Oh, she runs the family.

[249] She runs it.

[250] Yeah.

[251] She runs the family.

[252] Yeah.

[253] So, God, how do I articulate this?

[254] Well, we had Carmelo on and talked a lot about his book and growing up in Baltimore and Chris Bosch and his own experience.

[255] And then you south side of Chicago, mom's shooting dope.

[256] You get out of there.

[257] You go live with dad.

[258] That's great for a minute.

[259] Then dad's drinking gets out of hand.

[260] Then we go back.

[261] Now we're with mom slash grandma.

[262] That's, I don't think people actually recognize the amount of trauma that's happening for so many people.

[263] And I think it's easy to write it off, but it's like every time for me that I have to deep dive, I'm like, y 'all, this is a lot of shit.

[264] Yeah.

[265] It's a miracle.

[266] Was sports something that gave you confidence and esteem?

[267] Like, how are you so resolved?

[268] Yes.

[269] Going back, after I left my dad at 16, I moved in with my...

[270] Oh, your girlfriend.

[271] My girlfriend.

[272] End up being in my wife and I'm like, you know, Zaya and Zaire's mom.

[273] Mm -hmm.

[274] But, yes, I wrote it at the...

[275] In my book, I have this poem at the end, and it's called Game Over.

[276] And I like to write.

[277] I don't know if I'm good, but I like to put words together.

[278] And I wrote a poem, and in that poem, I talked to the game of basketball, and I'm thanking the game of basketball for giving me my self -esteem, and giving me my voice, and showing me how to lead and not quit.

[279] And, you know, all these things, like, I'm thanking the game for all these fundamentals in life that I use every day or that I pass down to my kids.

[280] I get it all from the game of basketball.

[281] So, yeah, it definitely, it became, we say sanctuary, but it just, it became like your best friend.

[282] It became, you know, everything, because that was the only thing to take you out of the truth in life, what was really going on.

[283] It's the ultimate distraction.

[284] Yes.

[285] And I would add that since there was so much chaos, it's nice to gravitate towards something with structure and rules and you can't go out of bounds here and you can't, you know, that's probably a nice break from chaos.

[286] Yeah, yeah.

[287] There's order to that game.

[288] That's true.

[289] Yeah, it is.

[290] I mean, even retiring now, I'm used to getting wake -up calls.

[291] I mean, you know what I mean?

[292] And now it's like, I got to get up and do it myself.

[293] Yeah.

[294] I mean, I got to work out myself.

[295] And, like, I'm so used to my whole life.

[296] It's been, hey, wake -up calls coming at seven.

[297] You got this.

[298] We got to shoot around from this time.

[299] I practice at this time.

[300] And then the plane is at this time.

[301] And so it's been so structured.

[302] And now it's really on me. Yeah.

[303] No one's calling me. I got to push myself.

[304] Ain't no coach.

[305] and get you, you know, there's no one pushing you no more.

[306] Yeah.

[307] You know, maybe if you're in a relationship, maybe a significant other will push you and say some things.

[308] But like, it ain't like sports.

[309] It's like every day your teammates pushing you.

[310] When you're having a bad day, when you're not making shots, they're the ones smacking you on the butt, hitting you in the back of the head.

[311] They're the ones grabbing you.

[312] Come on, you got this.

[313] In this world, no one's telling me I got this, you know?

[314] Not like that.

[315] I'm not saying my people around me. Well, I gave you a lot of praise for your outfit.

[316] Not like that.

[317] I got a lot of great people.

[318] But, like, to every day, like, to let you know that you are worthy, to let you know that.

[319] That you have purpose?

[320] Yes, that you have purpose.

[321] And, like, you don't get that.

[322] Some days you've got to look in the mirror and keep telling yourself, you got purpose.

[323] You are worthy.

[324] And it's a different motivation out here for me than it was playing basketball.

[325] I watched, like, a Brett Favre documentary that went really into detail about this.

[326] Civilians would think this kind of depression that's kind of predictable for people who retire after a long career in sports.

[327] The civilian thinks, oh, yeah, there.

[328] They're not getting adored every weekend anymore.

[329] You know, there's not fans.

[330] They don't have fans.

[331] And none of that is the truth.

[332] But the truth is being on a team is a huge sense of purpose.

[333] As you just said, like it's really what I think a lot of players end up dealing with depression over is that loss of this community that they were in all the time.

[334] Yeah.

[335] All that stuff is so crazy comforting.

[336] Yeah, it is.

[337] And I think what people forget about athletes to be a great athlete, the dedication, and it commitment that comes to become and get great, it takes you away from really being great at anything else.

[338] Right.

[339] You got those special athletes that plays music while they play basketball or football.

[340] Like, you got some real talented ones, but like, let's just talk about the ones who's just good at basketball.

[341] Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[342] And so to try to become great at basketball, you have to focus everything on basketball.

[343] And so once you've done that, and you've had your career and it's over and it's like, okay, retirement here.

[344] And they're like, well, thank you.

[345] Yeah.

[346] What do you do?

[347] You haven't really had time to go to school and get a master's on nothing else to get your bachelor in nothing else.

[348] Like you've been doing this and you mastered it, but now is over.

[349] And so if you don't go back into the field of this, what you've mastered, what are you doing?

[350] Yeah, that's tricky.

[351] There's also two really bizarre paradigms that exist almost only in sports.

[352] One, if you chart the trajectory of most Americans earning potential, it's pretty much a nice diagonal all the way up to their 52 years old or whatever.

[353] it is.

[354] So they had no money before they knew how to manage money.

[355] And then they started learning, then they got more money and more practice at managing money and making decisions.

[356] And then right when you're like 50 and you're pretty boring, you've done it all, they give you the most amount of way.

[357] And this is flip.

[358] You're 21.

[359] Here's this insane amount of money.

[360] Take it.

[361] You got no experience managing a checkbook or doing anything.

[362] Here it all is.

[363] And then also, yeah, you're going to reach master level at 35 and then buy that is so bizarre normally you'd be probably mentoring people that worked at your job you'd be seen as this elder you'd be celebrate like you'd be carrying in that master ship yeah for the last stage of your life and for y 'all it's like yeah it's it's really unique and bizarre yeah are you the type of person that can ask for advice like do you have mentors that you call and say like huh so i'm four months out uh What did you do?

[364] Yes, I am not too egotistical of a person or too much of a narcissist to not ask for advice or something I don't know.

[365] I did that in school when I was in class and I didn't want to raise my hand.

[366] That's over with it.

[367] Like, this is life out here.

[368] This is real.

[369] And so when I retired, first person I reached out to was Michael Strayhan.

[370] Oh, yeah.

[371] Because of the transition from football being a great athlete to TV and having a personality.

[372] And I said, well, people say I may, I can do good on TV.

[373] let me, and so I reached out to Michael, and he gave me, you know, all the information I needed.

[374] When I was wanted to reach out to someone in business, I reached out to Magic Johnson, right?

[375] So I'm always the guy who is willing to ask questions, who is willing to now raise my hand and say, I don't know that.

[376] Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[377] Can you explain that to me?

[378] And it's just from, once again, like, I've been so focused on trying to be great in one sport.

[379] And yes, I feel like I got other talents, but those talents may be still at level two and three.

[380] And ain't that teen yet, like basketball, I was at the top.

[381] Right.

[382] And so I don't know everything and I'm willing to learn and I'm willing to ask the questions.

[383] I'm willing to actually put the work in to actually learn things, but it takes a lot of work.

[384] I also, I wonder if you have a bizarre relationship with learning.

[385] Like obsessed with learning.

[386] Well, here's what I maybe wrongly assume is that when you're an athlete, a collegiate athlete, you have to get X grades to do the thing you actually want to do.

[387] So just the framing of it is very weird.

[388] It's basically like learning is going to be something that you just find.

[389] have to deal with so you can do the thing you love.

[390] I don't think that's how learning is generally presented to people.

[391] Just even the difference between like, oh, I've gone to college because I want to learn about X, Y, or Z versus I've gone to college to play basketball.

[392] And now I have to maintain some grade point.

[393] Like, I would resent it if it were me. You know what I'm saying?

[394] You resent learning?

[395] I would resent learning if that was the thing that could potentially keep me from doing the thing I loved.

[396] Yeah, you're right.

[397] You're right.

[398] And it has.

[399] So I don't know how much you guys know, but I was academically ineligible.

[400] Well, I learned that about you.

[401] I was like, he was amazing as a senior in high school and then freshman.

[402] Where was it?

[403] Yeah.

[404] And so, yes, I learned this.

[405] So I didn't pass my ACT.

[406] You had to get, with my grade, on average, I think I needed to get a 19 or something.

[407] I probably got a 17 at best.

[408] I tried to study for it.

[409] I just, I couldn't.

[410] I couldn't focus for four hours.

[411] I had a lot of things that I didn't know probably that I needed help with to try to take this test to get me in college.

[412] Like, I went through my whole career.

[413] I played good enough to.

[414] get a scholarship.

[415] I've got great grades throughout my high school career to be able to play and make on a row at times and all this.

[416] And then now I have to pass this test to go play college basketball.

[417] And if I don't pass, you don't get to play.

[418] And some kids don't get to go to school.

[419] Yeah.

[420] I was lucky enough to be able to still get a scholarship.

[421] I just couldn't play in the games.

[422] So I was able to go to school.

[423] Okay.

[424] I'm so fucked up.

[425] I'm so mad at it.

[426] I'm so so mad at it.

[427] I did they change that rule like finally.

[428] I think like recently.

[429] They have to because you can buy a score.

[430] It's so unfair.

[431] I mean, I did.

[432] I took an essay prep course like multiple times our parents could pay for it they wanted me to do it and and i raised my score by a ton because of that only not because i was smarter than and not you know or smarter than anyone else this may be going too far but i do feel like a lot of this stuff fits perfectly like how are we going to keep black folks from voting so here's what we're going to do we're going to say you have to say how many jelly beans are on the counter before we'll let you vote we're going to make you do Like, it stinks to me of, like, one last, like, well, let's just kind of fuck with them here.

[433] Like, you've got to have this magic score.

[434] So arbitrary.

[435] Who's good at the test?

[436] Who's not good at the test?

[437] And basically, I'm going to take the last seven years of your life that you've been working on every fucking day, and I'm going to decide it in four hours for you.

[438] In four hours.

[439] That is a fucked notion.

[440] I just think it's.

[441] And, I mean, it's, you know, and I've watched so many people's dreams get derailed.

[442] Right.

[443] I mean, think about a kid from anything.

[444] city of Chicago.

[445] Mom is in jail.

[446] Dad is dealing with his demons.

[447] And I'm trying to do this.

[448] I'm out there.

[449] I'm performing.

[450] I ain't really eating a lot of food.

[451] I don't got clothes and shoes and food.

[452] So I'm already behind an eight ball.

[453] But all those things are making me a hungrier athlete, not a greater athlete, a hungry athlete.

[454] But you get to the point where you think you got it.

[455] Okay.

[456] I'm on my way out.

[457] And boom, here goes something else.

[458] And it's like every time you get hit with something else, it's hard to dust it off and keep going.

[459] And so to be, not only make it to the NBA, not only to be able to retire from the NBA, but to be able to walk away as one of the greatest that's played, it's a miracle.

[460] Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[461] Literally, a miracle.

[462] And I'm not talking about me as giving myself credit.

[463] Any story like that.

[464] Yeah, Carmelo is a miracle.

[465] Totally.

[466] That's what, yeah, Carmelo said.

[467] He was like, the miracle isn't being in the NBA.

[468] He said it's so beautifully.

[469] Like, it's getting out of that system.

[470] The miracle isn't having the talent.

[471] The miracle is, like, getting there.

[472] Yeah.

[473] It's all the other things to get out.

[474] Yes, yes.

[475] You know, and there's so many things to knock you back down.

[476] Yes, and also I've just got to have two more things about that.

[477] So one is you're taking the test in a pressurized situation that no one else is.

[478] Your entire life virtually is going to be decided by your fucking ACT.

[479] No one there is up against that.

[480] No one's life dream and pursuit is on the table in an ACT score.

[481] So that's different.

[482] I think we just came up with a movie.

[483] You're right.

[484] Yeah.

[485] Can you picture that?

[486] You pictures that room on a Saturday, like, well, I've dedicated my life to this, and it can end right now.

[487] Or I can, because you can't join the NBA at that point.

[488] No, no. I'm sweating on my way over there.

[489] Do you understand what that Saturday felt like?

[490] Like, if I don't pad, like, the last one, I think I took three.

[491] The last one was really the last one before, like, it was the last test you can take before school starts the next year, in college.

[492] And I remember driving to that last ACT and just, if I don't do this, like, it's over.

[493] It's over And I'm in there sweating And then two and a half hours in I'm like I don't know none of this What am I even reading this for?

[494] What am I even taking this test for?

[495] Let me just C, C, D, A, B Like, let me get out of here Because I don't know none of this You get overwhelmed You get overwhelmed You also are special In that you played basketball You were good You knew what winning felt like You know what it's like To get knocked down and come back up Most people don't know that feeling at all.

[496] So they take the punches and the hurdles and they don't know that it's going to work out.

[497] They don't know that they can get back up.

[498] So like that is something sports teaches is resilience and most people don't have that.

[499] Yes.

[500] And then my other issue with it is it's all a lie.

[501] So it's like we want college basketball and we want great college basketball players and we're going to give scholarships to great basketball players.

[502] And we acknowledge that to be a great college basketball player, you had to be a great high school player, which meant you played all of it.

[503] That's what you studied.

[504] Yeah.

[505] That's what it takes.

[506] So this notion that, like, you should have also been putting two, three hours into this other thing is like, who are we pretending these human beings are?

[507] But we get scholarships, though.

[508] Oh.

[509] Yeah.

[510] You should bow down and think.

[511] Every erases all of that.

[512] You should be so grateful.

[513] You should be grateful.

[514] And I was grateful to have a scholarship and have the opportunity, not saying I was not.

[515] Yeah.

[516] But now knowing it, looking at it from this side you're like oh my what well i think there's a lot of things you can be grateful but also you can recognize that marquette profited greatly from giving you whatever the amount of the scholarship was so pretty good return on investment r o i yeah because it goes forever marquette still has my likeness yeah they recruit on your name still and they sell stuff so they're not doing you a favor yeah right if i were you would be like i am grateful and i can't co -sign on that you done me a favor.

[517] That would be the part that would bump for me. Definitely not a favor.

[518] Definitely not a favor.

[519] I mean, not how my career turned out and how everything worked out there.

[520] You wouldn't look at that as a favor, but I'm sure it's I can think it's a bad ROI now that I think about it.

[521] Yeah.

[522] They let some kids in that don't pan out.

[523] A lot.

[524] Yeah.

[525] A lot.

[526] Not everyone.

[527] Not everyone's Dwayneway.

[528] Some things is just about the timing of it, man. It's just really just the divine time in life, like me going to Marquette and Coach Cream being there and in this life that I'm living.

[529] From 19 years old, I've been leading a pack of people, my family, and I've been leading them with a blindfold on in the dark because I have no examples in front of me from the standpoint of no one in my family has ever walked these hallways that I'm walking.

[530] You don't have an uncle, you can call me like, hey, when you got your $28 million paycheck, what did you do with that money?

[531] I talked to my son about this.

[532] I didn't call my dad and say, Dad, it's hard out here.

[533] I didn't have that.

[534] And so, like, I tell my son, I say, you know, you, that's one of the blessings that God gave you.

[535] He gave you me to be able to call and say, Dad, I don't understand this.

[536] And I can say, well, son, since I've done it, blah, blah, blah.

[537] I didn't have that.

[538] Yes.

[539] And so I always say, like, once again, you talk about a miracle.

[540] I don't know how we're sitting here all together right now, like literally, blindfold on, in the dark.

[541] And it's like, you feel like every step you take is about to fall off the cliff.

[542] But you also understand the position that you're in of power in your family.

[543] you know someone has to take a step because no one has been afforded positions to take the step and if they have they've been afraid to and every step is scary because it's dark you be able to sometime to get a mentor to tell you in your ear hey don't go left go right mentors help you alone this journey but still we're going to get into one of those mentors but I got to add you go to Marquette with a child yeah well I had a child at Marquette okay what like you weren't playing basketball you got bored I had nothing else to do thank you Thank you, NCWA for my son.

[544] I appreciate you guys.

[545] She's amazing.

[546] You would have got a 19.

[547] You wouldn't have had a kid.

[548] I would not.

[549] I'd have been too focused on playing games.

[550] You know what I'm saying?

[551] You've been worn out.

[552] I ain't got nothing else to do.

[553] But, I mean, you just throw that into the mix.

[554] So there's like two more years where, yeah, you're a dad.

[555] Yeah, I got a new boy.

[556] Yes.

[557] I'm sorry.

[558] That's too much pressure for me. I would have fucking just can't imagine.

[559] Like, kid on the way.

[560] You're not playing.

[561] Oh, I cried.

[562] Oh, you must have.

[563] Oh, I thought it was over.

[564] I would not be that guy that said, no, I, no, I cry like a little baby.

[565] I was like, my life's over.

[566] Yeah.

[567] I don't know.

[568] That's what they tell you, right?

[569] For sure.

[570] Okay, so mentors, I just want to talk about him.

[571] I'm praying because sometimes I never know what really happens behind the scenes, as no one knows.

[572] But from my outside opinion, Shaquille O 'Neal is someone to be studied in a way of health.

[573] So glad you said that.

[574] Dax loves Shaft.

[575] I love Shack.

[576] Of him so much because he has done this thing that I think is almost impossible to do.

[577] He has prioritized in his life always at least equal to what he was doing and often above.

[578] And he's been rewarded for it.

[579] He certainly didn't win as many championships as he could have.

[580] But who gives a flying fuck?

[581] I just admire that he just went on his own path.

[582] It's really admirable.

[583] So when he shows up in Miami and you're in your, what, second or third year there?

[584] Second season, yeah.

[585] And he shows up, and again, I just, I watched your documentary, which is so fucking great.

[586] I hope people watch it.

[587] It's De Wade, Life Unexpected.

[588] It's so good.

[589] It's so good.

[590] But he shows up, Shaquille, and he's already got a couple championships under his belt, right?

[591] Yeah, he got three.

[592] He's got three, and he shows up, and he's, in the first press conference, he says, yeah, I'm here to help.

[593] It's Dwayne's team.

[594] And Dwayne is, what are you, 24?

[595] I'm 20.

[596] No, I'm 22.

[597] You're 22 or something.

[598] I'm like, hey, I think I'm 22.

[599] Yeah, I'm 22 years old.

[600] That's a good move, man. I applaud that of him.

[601] Man, I love Shaq.

[602] Shack's one of those people who, Shaq's crazy.

[603] But like, and I say that, I don't say that in a bad way.

[604] I just said it in an amazing way, man. You know, it's like you would never meet another person like Shaq.

[605] This is a one of one.

[606] We call him on the set, we just call him one of one, right?

[607] Yeah.

[608] He's a one of one.

[609] And he came to Miami.

[610] He totally changed my entire life.

[611] He changed my life.

[612] Like, I never thought I would be living a life I'm living.

[613] Even when I was in the NBA, like, I never thought I would be here.

[614] like where I am.

[615] And Shaq came and was like, you know what?

[616] Okay, you're pretty good.

[617] All right.

[618] So I'm about to make you a superstar.

[619] Like, this is this conversation to me. He said, I'm about to make you a superstar.

[620] You got a little nice physique.

[621] Okay.

[622] Like, he's like, looking at me. He's like, okay, okay.

[623] He's like, okay.

[624] He's like, okay.

[625] You know, as tall as we would want you to be.

[626] Yeah.

[627] No, he was six, seven.

[628] He's like, you're quiet.

[629] I'm telling you, like, he looked at me like this.

[630] Like, this is the greatness and the talent of this human being.

[631] Here are your assets.

[632] Right.

[633] He gave you my assets.

[634] He's a manager, essentially.

[635] Right.

[636] And like, personality -wise, he was like, okay, we're going to need you to open up a little bit more.

[637] I need you to know what the cameras are.

[638] Oh, my God.

[639] Like, so, I mean, my guy, in 2006, man, we were a show.

[640] Right to the point, Pat Rowley came down was like, yo, y 'all got to cut this shit out.

[641] Like, it's too much dancing after every fucking shot.

[642] You're all about to be on ice skates.

[643] Oh, we're a wild.

[644] I mean, it's so many.

[645] That's a whole other documentary that one day.

[646] Sure, somebody will put together about the 06.

[647] team but shack man go back to him just so amazing for me as a young kid who he did not know he didn't have any prior relationship with yes he wanted to come to Miami he wanted to win a championship he wanted to get another championship before Kobe everyone knows this and yes I was probably the one he looked at and deemed said this is one that can help me right but the work that he put in on me and with me like never gets enough credit like I always tell people like look at all the things I'm like a mini shack still like I'm still doing like all the things like But Shaq does, like, all, all the things.

[648] So one of the things I love in the documentary is Shaq came over to his house, like when he first got to the team, like, come over to meet with him.

[649] A house I had, he called it little.

[650] I was.

[651] And they're having a nice chat.

[652] And then all of a scene looks around and he's like, okay, we got to get you out of here.

[653] Yeah.

[654] He was like, you're a start now.

[655] Start living like one.

[656] Start living like when I was like, you know, okay.

[657] Yeah.

[658] But it sounds like he gave you confidence to believe that.

[659] Yeah.

[660] Yeah, you hadn't done the show.

[661] shit yet.

[662] And then, yeah, very quickly thereafter, your jersey sells the most for two years straight.

[663] Oh, oh, yeah, yeah.

[664] Sorry, we're both addicted to toothpicks.

[665] Oh, okay.

[666] And when Monica gets really excited, she needs one.

[667] And then if you really light this thing up, she'll be known on two at the same time.

[668] That'll look for that, yeah.

[669] I'm addicted to, I have a lot of them in a car right now.

[670] I'm addicted to the floss sticks.

[671] Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[672] Bring the floss sticks.

[673] Those are nice.

[674] Yeah, I feel like I should invest in the company that they allow people to invest this.

[675] And does your wife find them all over the house and be like, fucking, because I'm addicted to these toothpicks.

[676] And my wife's like, baby, you got to be everywhere.

[677] You can see anywhere I'm sad.

[678] Bro, in the bed.

[679] Shower?

[680] Everywhere.

[681] I'll be like, how did it get here?

[682] How is this stick in the toilet?

[683] I don't know.

[684] Yeah, man, my wife, oh my God, my wife, me own me about these green sticks.

[685] I put on a pair of pants the other day.

[686] I put my hand in my bag and I was like, okay, either of these haven't been washed because there's an old toothpick.

[687] in the pocket or it went through the washing machine let's give this another shot exactly they just got clean they also kind of disintegrate so you'll just have like a pile of little wood in your hand and you just like jump around yeah shards are like two picks are cooler than floss sticks but two pigs like they fade and fall away so fast that it's not even cool no more because it gets soggy and now it's like I'm like there I'm like the woods in your mouth so you're just working a dooby all the time Yeah, I'll stick with the plastics.

[688] Stay tuned for more armchair expert, if you dare.

[689] We've all been there.

[690] Turning to the internet to self -diagnose our inexplicable pains, debilitating body aches, sudden fevers, and strange rashes.

[691] Though our minds tend to spiral to worst -case scenarios, it's usually nothing, but for an unlucky few, these unsuspecting symptoms can start the clock ticking on a terror.

[692] terrifying medical mystery.

[693] Like the unexplainable death of a retired firefighter, whose body was found at home by his son, except it looked like he had been cremated, or the time when an entire town started jumping from buildings and seeing tigers on their ceilings.

[694] Hey listeners, it's Mr. Ballin here, and I'm here to tell you about my podcast.

[695] It's called Mr. Ballin's Medical Mysteries.

[696] Each terrifying true story will be sure to keep you up at night.

[697] Follow Mr. Ballin's Medical Mysteries wherever you get your podcasts.

[698] can listen early and add free on Amazon music.

[699] What's up, guys?

[700] It's your girl Kiki, and my podcast is back with a new season.

[701] And let me tell you, it's too good.

[702] And I'm diving into the brains of entertainment's best and brightest, okay?

[703] Every episode, I bring on a friend and have a real conversation.

[704] And I don't mean just friends.

[705] I mean the likes of Amy Polar, Kell Mitchell, Vivica Fox.

[706] The list goes on.

[707] So follow, watch, and listen to Baby.

[708] This is Kiki Palmer on the Wondery app or wherever you get your podcast.

[709] So one of my curiosities about you is, so you know, I'm a recovering addict.

[710] I came by it honest.

[711] I'm like six generation.

[712] With two addict parents, how have you avoided that?

[713] Maybe basketball.

[714] Yeah, basketball was an addiction, right?

[715] And so I feel like we all have addictions, and it just, it's levels to it, but they're there.

[716] And so that's why we always have to continue to keep working on ourselves, right?

[717] You're like, my mom addiction hasn't went anywhere.

[718] No. In fact, it's doing push -ups, as we say.

[719] It's waiting.

[720] Yep.

[721] Right.

[722] And so that's why we all had to continue to keep getting better and continue to keep evolving.

[723] And going on and find the people that can help you get out of these moments because you go to your addiction in those moments of loneliness or confusion.

[724] Yeah.

[725] When your identity is changing and you're retiring and you're defining who you are post basketball career, that's an easy time probably to find comfort in other things.

[726] Yeah.

[727] And so like, I mean, first thing I did when I retired was, well, the second thing I did, the first thing I did was hire a vocal coach.

[728] Because I was like, if I'm going to be on TV, this thick Chicago accent, I got to work on it, you know, a little bit and just, you know, work on myself a little bit.

[729] Give me more confidence.

[730] But the second thing I did was I got a therapist.

[731] I was one of those athletes was like, I don't need to sit down and no one tail with me. And six, seven hours later, I was like, and then, you know, when I was three.

[732] And I was like, this is, you know, it was amazing.

[733] But it was something I needed because I'm coming from a sport where I'm a different person on the court.

[734] But I was able to utilize that anger and that.

[735] that rage or whatever, onto my sport and help me be successful.

[736] Well, what's going to happen with that same frustration, that anger, that rage?

[737] Where is it going?

[738] And it normally goes to the people closest to you, right?

[739] And so I was like, all right, I got to go work on myself because it's coming out.

[740] Yeah, yeah.

[741] And so it's just always about better yourself and understanding that we're not perfect.

[742] If you go through life and have a few perfect moments, you're blessed.

[743] Well, one thing I would imagine is that your childhood was so chaotic and you had such a little say in what happened.

[744] And that generally, or at least it did in me, created a control freak.

[745] And so not only are you on the court, you're in the role of point guard.

[746] I play one and two.

[747] Okay, one and two.

[748] I got scared all of a sudden that you were two guard.

[749] Anyways.

[750] I had two guard on the record books.

[751] Okay, on the record books.

[752] Yeah, but come on.

[753] You're running the offense.

[754] So this is someone who wants control over their environment's wet drink.

[755] Facts.

[756] Like, you're just not, it's not like you're standing down on the block.

[757] and have to take two steps up and look for it.

[758] No, you are in control more than any other player.

[759] So I got to imagine you're in a role of control and then also you're spectacular.

[760] So you actually can't exert the control.

[761] And I would miss that so much.

[762] Let me compare it to something.

[763] I was directing a movie at Warner Brothers.

[764] As the director, your opinion is the most important.

[765] And then I'd have these little talks with myself on my drive home from Warner Brothers.

[766] Like, you're about to get home.

[767] And your opinion isn't as important as anyone.

[768] It's the same important as the wife and the, two kids.

[769] I got to like reset.

[770] This is an area I can't control.

[771] Yeah.

[772] So I guess I'm wondering if that's something you would miss or might miss. And if you...

[773] I thought you were my brain.

[774] Like this is getting weird.

[775] This is weird.

[776] Yes.

[777] I'm always asked.

[778] First of all, people think I can still play.

[779] I don't know maybe because I'm trying to stay in shape.

[780] People think I can still play.

[781] I'm terrible.

[782] I cannot play basketball anymore.

[783] Okay.

[784] You don't use it.

[785] You lose it.

[786] But I told someone they when people ask me, do I miss basketball, do I miss playing?

[787] I said, no, I kind of gave everything to the game.

[788] I accomplished everything.

[789] I don't really miss that part of it.

[790] But what I do miss is I miss having a ball in my hand is the top of the key, game tied, down one, whatever it is.

[791] And I got 20 ,000 people in the arena looking at me and waiting for me to make a move.

[792] And I got millions of people on TV watching me. And at this moment, I control, I'm going to control how your night go.

[793] Yeah.

[794] You understand that for me. In a median in a way.

[795] Right?

[796] If I make this shot, your night is going to be better.

[797] Your conversation with your wife is going to be better.

[798] You're getting laid, my man. Man, you're getting laid.

[799] Everybody's getting tacos.

[800] Everybody's getting free food.

[801] I miss this shot.

[802] The food tastes a little different than that.

[803] People getting divorced.

[804] Yeah, people getting their arguments.

[805] They're yelling at me. Why didn't Wade take that dumb shot?

[806] And so I do miss the ability to be able to orchestrate.

[807] Fuck yeah.

[808] Like a moment.

[809] And like, yeah, I miss that, bro.

[810] Yeah, we need to get you a hobby where you can do that.

[811] So my thing is, and I'm not pitching you on it, because I love you and I want you to stay around.

[812] I'm not pitching you on.

[813] Mine is the motorcycle on the track.

[814] Oh, boy.

[815] Yeah, that's different.

[816] Because.

[817] Don't shake your head.

[818] No, brother, man. We're all going straight to the track after the...

[819] For me, it is, I'm in total control of my destiny.

[820] The stakes are high.

[821] I got to fucking concentrate.

[822] My mind can't wander to the other places that I don't want them to be anyways.

[823] Like, it forces me to just exert control.

[824] You feel alive.

[825] That's right.

[826] Yeah.

[827] Like, in those moments, you feel alive.

[828] Yeah.

[829] I don't want no motorcycle, though.

[830] No, I know, I know.

[831] We're going to go whiteboard and we'll throw some ideas up.

[832] But, you know, maybe you start playing volleyball in your retirement.

[833] I don't know.

[834] Well, I'm playing golf, and that is the wrong sport when it comes to having any control.

[835] Because one thing you can't do in golf is control it.

[836] It's the hardest sport to play.

[837] It's so hard that I know better than to go do it.

[838] I don't want to go feel shitty about myself for three -and -hour.

[839] I know.

[840] No, we pay, we pay to go shitty.

[841] We have a friend who had to stop because he was just in a bad mood.

[842] Yeah, it would lower his opinion of himself too much.

[843] Now, I could do what Tiger's dad didn't get a motor home and just park it at the golf course and entertain in it.

[844] That's a bond.

[845] I don't know if you saw the documentary, but.

[846] No, I didn't.

[847] Oh, it's so fucking good.

[848] It's so good.

[849] Talk about control.

[850] Yeah.

[851] And that's the ultimate.

[852] Like, for him, I mean, that's, you know.

[853] Yeah.

[854] It's the same thing.

[855] I didn't watch it because Tiger didn't do it.

[856] I've heard that, right?

[857] So for me, I was like, I don't...

[858] A lot of people...

[859] He didn't sign off on that.

[860] As someone who's out here in the public light, and stories can be told about you just from, as you know, right?

[861] Yeah.

[862] I just didn't watch it.

[863] That's a common opinion, and I respect it.

[864] But what I'll say having watched it is, I think it really gives you a sense of what it's like to have a compartmentalized life.

[865] Your skill set is compartmentalization.

[866] Facts, because I'm definitely there.

[867] Yeah, you can snap in.

[868] to some little fucking airtight zone in your brain that allows you with three seconds left and 20 ,000 people there, millions watching, to get rid of every single thing else.

[869] Yeah, just quiet.

[870] Yeah.

[871] It's crazy.

[872] That's a very rare skill.

[873] And once you hone it, obviously, it can be dangerous in the rest of your life.

[874] I have it.

[875] I was a fucking raging addict.

[876] I'd be at crack houses for three days straight.

[877] And then somehow greet people and pretend I'm not.

[878] And so watching A, he wasn't built.

[879] to be a celebrity, just out of the gates.

[880] That's not his personality.

[881] And to see what someone who's not built for that has to deal with and how disassociated he is.

[882] Like, I'm super into therapy and I'm super in a trauma and all these things.

[883] So I can visually see on his face like, he's out, man. This is too much for him.

[884] There's too many people.

[885] He was at a crazy level of celebrity.

[886] He's the Jordan, the Tyson.

[887] He's the iconic first one.

[888] Yeah, he's Lewis Hamilton.

[889] You know, he's the guy.

[890] By the way, I just love that story.

[891] historically that like all right we'll let up we'll let this black guy into formula one oh fuck he's the greatest of all the time we'll let this black guy into go oh fuck he's the great yeah absolutely i just love it anyway to live under a spotlight to live as someone who's famous all these things are there are a lot to fucking juggle yeah but it's the most important thing is his dad who lived at the golf course with him he drove an RV that was his daily driver Yeah.

[892] And so he would park it at the golf course, and he'd fucking plow gals all day.

[893] And I said to my wife, I'm like, if I ever start driving my motor home as a daily driver, you need to be worried.

[894] You need to be worried.

[895] Like, if I bring a bed everywhere I go, you need to be a little worried.

[896] Well, yeah.

[897] And golf would do that to you, too.

[898] It's an addicting sport.

[899] Yeah.

[900] Yeah.

[901] I don't know why it ensnars all you guys.

[902] I guess it's like a type A almost kind of addictive.

[903] You've got to be addictive to really fall in love with that sport, I think.

[904] Yeah, it's this chase of perfection of, like, as an athlete, like your chase to be perfect is what brings you back every day, right?

[905] It's that perfect hit that you have in golf.

[906] Like, I just had one other day.

[907] And he was like, nope, now you back for another 10 years.

[908] It lets you be brilliant occasionally, just enough to keep you in it.

[909] Yeah.

[910] Because every now and then you'll drive something like Chuck Daly.

[911] And you'll be like, I am built for this fucking.

[912] right yeah i am the guy don chito shout out to don chito he's an amazing golfer he's an amazing golfer he's he's an amazing man and i've had the opportunity to golf with him twice and the second time lucky enough i was invited to president obama's 60th birthday we had a golf outing i didn't i didn't try to say that to like make myself seem better than i am well like we were i was just setting up the story i'm just telling you that i liked you a ton and now i kind of resent you but you continue Continue.

[913] So we had a golf out, you know.

[914] And I got teamed up with Don, and it was great, and we got teamed up with, you know, two other gentlemen who were amazing.

[915] This is the first time I've ever played outside of just my friend group, like, you know, in any tournament setting.

[916] And I actually played well.

[917] Like me and my partner, we like, we almost went to tournament.

[918] Then we came a second.

[919] Afterwards, Don shakes my hand and looked at me and he said, yo, you know, you golf great today.

[920] I said, yeah, man, I was hitting it good.

[921] He said, you're fucked.

[922] And then he gave me that Don Cedar like, stare.

[923] You just up your life Because you hit some good shots Out there You play well today That's actually bad And he texts me Like every now and again It'd be like You know you fucked up your life right And because the chase In golf You're gonna want to be good Like I said I was like If I just play double bogey golf I'll be fine I can move the game alone And then once you get there You gotta go to the And it just It sucks It's a good metaphor for life Yeah It's like you can occasionally Be brilliant You got perfect But there ain't no status quo brilliance.

[924] No. When we talked to Obama, he said he had basketball players to the White House to play basketball with...

[925] For his 49th birthday.

[926] Yeah, and you were there?

[927] Yeah, I was there.

[928] Of course you were there.

[929] Yeah, that was legendary.

[930] That was legendary.

[931] Oh.

[932] That was an amazing time.

[933] I got to tell you, when we interviewed him, everything was exactly as you'd expect.

[934] He's a pro.

[935] I'm not going to throw him off.

[936] The only thing we saw really saw Barry was when I said, how stoked were you that that fucking shot you made went viral first of all dick moved to Biden like we already know Biden's not have as good as you and then you show up and just drain a fucking three without even dribbling it that dick move I said it's like you joined your buddy on his first date you know and you were way cooler than yeah what did he say what was his thing when he walked away he said something gang just like that yeah right so I had to take you guys to a quick story yeah please I've my family and I we love going to Hawaii now for Christmas, right?

[937] And I know Obama, Hawaii.

[938] So luckily enough, I end up being out there at the same time.

[939] Obama golfs, I golf.

[940] And we got connected together to be at the golf course at the same day.

[941] So we connect there and then later on, we work out a time where we can all get together in golf.

[942] So I'm golfing with the press.

[943] I'm super excited, but I suck too at the same time.

[944] So it's terrible.

[945] But along the game, we had an amazing game, amazing conversation, golfing with the president.

[946] I've been with Shaq.

[947] I've been with LeBron.

[948] I've been with all these guys.

[949] But being with the president is a different level of celebrity.

[950] Right.

[951] Yeah, yeah, world leader.

[952] It's not even celebrity.

[953] It's a different thing.

[954] Yeah, it's just a, I've never been, okay, so it's different.

[955] But to get to the end of the story in this clutch gene that we talk about that people have, Obama has it.

[956] We get to the 18th hole, and everybody at the golf course is on the 18th hole.

[957] They're all watching.

[958] So we get to the 18th hole.

[959] I've already, my ball is in the world of three times.

[960] I've thrown my club.

[961] I'm not even playing 18th.

[962] Yeah, you've stopped keeping the score.

[963] Right.

[964] So Obama hits the, he hits it on the green.

[965] And now he gets up there.

[966] He has a long putt.

[967] I'm talking about a putt.

[968] I'm like, ah, you're not making this put.

[969] Right, right, right.

[970] You shouldn't make this putt.

[971] He gets up there with everybody watching, everyone's quiet.

[972] He fucking drains the putt.

[973] Oh, my God.

[974] He walks up, he grabs it with so much swagger, and he looks back and he say, just like that.

[975] Or whatever that phrase was that he said.

[976] Oh, my God.

[977] Oh, my God.

[978] God.

[979] Yeah, he's a gangster.

[980] He's a like, he's a like, he's a like, he's a lot of one.

[981] Yeah.

[982] Now, I think we all desire validation in a varying degrees.

[983] I happen to be like validation addict.

[984] I need everyone to validate me. But when you get validation and you're climbing this weird ladder and it's like, yeah, Shaq took me under his wing.

[985] He loves me and this person.

[986] And then Obama like playing with him, there's a point where for me, it's like, oh, well, it can't be that anymore because I tapped out on that like I got to get it from me how do I say this like it's a luxury to meet like heroes and to get validated from heroes and yet that's a very temporary feeling and you can't really build self -esteem on it but it feels like you can in the moment right and I guess I wonder if you've thought about that experience there's a part of me that I always try to police my brain like this don't mean shit this doesn't mean you're a good dad doesn't mean you're a good husband doesn't be not at all but in the moment I'm like well fuck if he gives me a pat on the back.

[987] I'm good for a while.

[988] Well, I mean, that's, to me, I don't even know if this is going to answer your question.

[989] I hope it does.

[990] But to me, that's what life is all about, just moments.

[991] So right now, like, for me, this is an NFT, right?

[992] This is a moment.

[993] Uh -huh.

[994] Yeah, right?

[995] And so, my whole life is about finding moments.

[996] And that was a special moment that I will always, because you get to a point where once you play basketball, you think it lasts forever and you realize it doesn't, you know all you have now is your stories.

[997] All I have now to tell my son, and my daughter, the moments that I had.

[998] In moments of fog in my brain, I can go back to a joyous moment in my brain.

[999] I can go back to this moment.

[1000] I can go back to the dance off of me and present ahead, right?

[1001] I can go out to all these things.

[1002] And so, for me, I just live my life to capture as many moments as possible because as I get older, that's all I'm going to pull it back from one day when I'm sitting out there and I haven't got no work to do.

[1003] And my kids grown and my grandkids, hopefully around.

[1004] I'm just going to sit back and think about all these moments.

[1005] Yeah.

[1006] You did answer my question.

[1007] and what I glean from that is like for me there's a temptation when I have one of those moments that I'm like okay all done I made it I'm safe I'm oh you like I want to be done I want to like get that moment where I'm like good I like myself now forever but it's not like that it's like exercise I got to do that daily and again and again and it is moments and all they really are is like you say that things to look back on and touch for a second and go like yeah it ain't that bad they don't even feel real Like, I don't feel like I played in the NBA 16 years and I won three championships and I'm...

[1008] How?

[1009] I'm just a human person sitting here.

[1010] Nothing shows me that I, like, did in it.

[1011] Like, if it wasn't for YouTube, yeah.

[1012] Like, I would not know that I did some of the things I've done.

[1013] Yeah.

[1014] Right?

[1015] If it wasn't for being able to watch your movies, like you're not in it anymore.

[1016] It was a moment.

[1017] Right.

[1018] And you enjoyed it and it was at the top of the world.

[1019] You was at the bottom.

[1020] You was in the middle, wherever you were at that time.

[1021] But now we're on the outside of it.

[1022] It's like an out -of -body experience.

[1023] It just feel like it never really happened.

[1024] I totally agree with you.

[1025] You're living such a heightened life that you can't, in the actual moment, preserve it.

[1026] Right.

[1027] You don't want to, neither because, like, that is bad.

[1028] You can't be too comfortable.

[1029] You can't be too happy.

[1030] You've got to keep moving on.

[1031] So move on to the next one.

[1032] Move on to the next one.

[1033] Hey, you won a championship.

[1034] It's great.

[1035] Let's get back to the next season.

[1036] Right.

[1037] And so you can't because that's what they tell.

[1038] He's like, don't enjoy it.

[1039] That's what they tell you.

[1040] Yeah.

[1041] You get older and you realize.

[1042] So a friend of mine, Chris Johnson.

[1043] So I was a Chris Johnson.

[1044] Chris, if I messed up your story, I apologize.

[1045] So we were talking one day.

[1046] and we were talking about this guy, him and his wife would take travels.

[1047] And he had a friend that worked on the police force.

[1048] And every time he come back from his travels, he will show her the videos and the photos from all the vacations.

[1049] And she always was like, oh, my God, like she lived for those moments.

[1050] So she was like, oh, my God, I can't wait to do it.

[1051] And he's like, well, why don't you do it?

[1052] And she was like, nah, I'm going to work.

[1053] I'm going to get my pension.

[1054] I'm going to do that.

[1055] And when I'm done, I'm going to travel the world.

[1056] I'm going to go to all these places that you've been showing me. And so years go by, he's created all these memories, these moments.

[1057] And she's living through him.

[1058] But she's waiting.

[1059] 20 years go by, she retires.

[1060] He hasn't seen her for about a month.

[1061] And he runs into her husband.

[1062] He's like, oh my God, tell me about all the travels.

[1063] And a husband said she passed away.

[1064] We didn't get a chance to travel, right, a month after retirement.

[1065] And so the moral of the story is throughout the process of working hard and working your tail off, enjoy the moments of life.

[1066] Don't wait until it's, I got to make this much money.

[1067] I got to go do this.

[1068] I got to be, you don't have to do that because it's not promised, obviously.

[1069] Tomorrow isn't promised.

[1070] And so I use that story.

[1071] It was a great story.

[1072] And even though it sounds simple, but it's not because a lot of people wait.

[1073] Well, I'm on the exact same page as you.

[1074] I often say, like, yeah, I was struggling to be an actor for 10 years, but I didn't tell myself a story.

[1075] Life begins when I make it.

[1076] I still got to go on vacation.

[1077] I still got to have fun and carry on.

[1078] Like, if your whole fantasy is life begins at this moment, then you're going to miss everything prior to that moment.

[1079] And spoiler, sometimes that moment doesn't happen.

[1080] And it's hard if you're focused.

[1081] It's really hard to give yourself permission that you deserve to go do those things and be living the whole time.

[1082] Yeah.

[1083] Okay, I have one last thing I want to applaud you on.

[1084] And I'm sure you feel weird about getting applauded for this, but it's like being at your own life celebration.

[1085] I want to call it from life celebration.

[1086] First of all, again, I just, what we're referencing a lot is you have a new book out called Dwayne.

[1087] And it's awesome.

[1088] It's tons of photographs, but it's a photographic memoir.

[1089] And I guess for starters, I want to know, A, I'm glad that's how you decided to do it because ultimately your story involves so much physical things I want to see.

[1090] I don't want to just hear.

[1091] Like, I want to see those moments and those moments do get captured in this crazy way.

[1092] So what made you decide to take that route with a memoir?

[1093] You'd already written my father.

[1094] Yeah, so I wrote the first book, Father First, how my life became bigger than basketball.

[1095] And so I went in that way.

[1096] I talked about.

[1097] about being a father.

[1098] I talked about my life a little bit.

[1099] And when I got to the point of it was getting to the last dance or my last season, I had wrote down three things that I wanted to accomplish.

[1100] One thing I wanted to do is I wanted to do a one last tour of every city.

[1101] I wanted to go into every city.

[1102] I wanted to, you know, pay my respect.

[1103] I didn't know it was going to turn into the show that it did, but I just wanted to go to every city and just have my last hurrah, my last dinner at this restaurant I've been going to for years, my last sleep in this hotel, and so forth and so on.

[1104] That was one.

[1105] The second one was the documentary.

[1106] I wanted to be able to wrap up my career in the documentary form as I was retiring.

[1107] And I wanted to come out with this photographic book.

[1108] My photographer, Bob Mattelis, who we have over 200 pictures in there, he's been following me for 10 years.

[1109] And a lot of those moments are private moments that I want to share with my friends, my family, my supporters.

[1110] The story goes way deeper than that photo.

[1111] Like you can look at a photo and be like, oh, okay, this is a game.

[1112] I got my statistics.

[1113] He had 38.

[1114] but what happened leading up to this game?

[1115] Like, their photo can take you somewhere.

[1116] And so the photos are there to take us on a journey through these stories.

[1117] Because once again, like, about these moments.

[1118] Yeah, yeah.

[1119] It's a beautiful book.

[1120] Yeah, it really is.

[1121] It really is.

[1122] I would imagine your identity has been basketball player since you were nine years old.

[1123] I don't know.

[1124] Yeah, yeah.

[1125] I have to imagine there's a weird insecurity or maybe there's not.

[1126] But when you play golf with Obama, if I'm you, I'm thinking, fuck this guy only likes me because I'm a physical phenom like he likes me because I'm a bad motherfucker on the basketball court that's why he likes me that's why I've been invited here that's my value proposition and now I'm about to do a physical activity and I'm probably going to suck at it and maybe he's not going to like me anymore like that would be where my insecurity I didn't think about that oh good that's one way well maybe we just got to the core of your confidence I'm glad that's not where your brain goes but if I go somewhere I'm like I'm the jester.

[1127] Time to be funny.

[1128] Like, they invite me because I'm good at any other thing.

[1129] Like, I know why.

[1130] Okay.

[1131] But sometimes it doesn't work out because people are not, people, you think that when you enter a room, but people aren't expecting that.

[1132] They don't need that from you.

[1133] More and more.

[1134] Maybe you make them laugh.

[1135] More and more.

[1136] And it was like, okay, are you trying to tell me I didn't fucking knock that dinner party in London out of the goddamn park?

[1137] You did a good job.

[1138] It's 10 % too much.

[1139] It's 10 % too much.

[1140] We went to a dinner party.

[1141] We went to a dinner party.

[1142] He read the person's book out loud.

[1143] In an Italian accent, which was offensive.

[1144] It wasn't offensive, but it was a lot.

[1145] You know, it was a lot.

[1146] But I walked in, I was like, okay, here's eight new customers, man. None of them have made up their mind, and I'm going to fucking win them all over.

[1147] Yeah.

[1148] I'm going to put on a show.

[1149] And he did.

[1150] My account, I did, but I could be wrong.

[1151] I think from Monica's account, like, 90 % I may be it.

[1152] I'm going to be extra critical.

[1153] Everyone was very happy.

[1154] You were there.

[1155] you did a great job mind you the whole time out of my head I was going shut up shut up shut up and not I was saying shut up in my life joke joke joke joke inappropriate joke that sounds like when my wife say something to me and I know I probably shouldn't say what I'm about to say back and I'm like shut up don't say it don't say it and now we ain't talking for two days just that same thing you went through I'm like Shaddy shut up don't say and you hear in the third person you hear yourself speaking and you're like no no we just agreed you're not saying that and then you just I'm like, what?

[1156] Come on, bro.

[1157] What I was going to say is your daughter transitioned, I guess, I'm not sure that that's how I would say it, but you have a trans daughter.

[1158] Yes, yes.

[1159] And you've been super vocal about it.

[1160] And again, this comes back to my original observation about you, is that you have some confidence in you that allows you to not worry how anyone's going to think about this.

[1161] It's not you.

[1162] You have the wherewithal to say, no, no, this is about her.

[1163] And I have a role in her life, and this is what I need to do.

[1164] And I don't really give a fuck what the response to that is.

[1165] But I'm going to add, it is harder in the black community to be outspokenly pro -LGB.

[1166] Yes.

[1167] I don't know if that's allowed to say that.

[1168] But for many, many reasons, people that have been systematically emasculated for 300 years.

[1169] And the outcome of that is sometimes things that could appear to be emasculating, people are afraid of.

[1170] So I think it's even more profound that you are doing.

[1171] Well, thank you.

[1172] First of all, like, it's my daughter.

[1173] Like, I don't, like, even when I hear trans daughter, I'm just like, it's just, she's my daughter.

[1174] Yeah.

[1175] And it's like, just being a parent, I guess for me, it's like, I feel like that is one of the reasons I'm here, right?

[1176] I feel like that's one of my purpose.

[1177] Like, I was put on this earth to be a father.

[1178] Like, that's one of them.

[1179] And I don't know why, but I just don't feel like I should be able to tell people how to live their life.

[1180] And then going back to my mother, do I have some, things I probably need to continue to keep working on from my broken childhood.

[1181] Yes, I do.

[1182] Yeah, yeah.

[1183] But do I blame my mother for living her life the way she lived it?

[1184] No, I don't.

[1185] Right.

[1186] And so I've always been able to understand that you are living the life and you're doing things the way that feels good to you, that feels right to you, that feels right to you, that feels true to you, all these things, right?

[1187] So now definitely, I've had to learn in this in this whole space of trans and the LGBT plus community.

[1188] I've had to learn so much.

[1189] But when it comes to my child, it has not been one second because first of all before my child came home at eight years old and at the time said that she was gay, at three years old, at three years old, I didn't know because I wasn't educated, but I knew that it was, I knew something enough to me and my wife have a conversation.

[1190] Right.

[1191] Right.

[1192] Like I was a young kid who put on heels and did all my sister clothes and whatever.

[1193] Never, my sister.

[1194] I did double dutch back in Chicago because I grew up.

[1195] You had an older sister.

[1196] I had older sisters.

[1197] Right.

[1198] I just wanted to be like them.

[1199] So, you know, people, you kind of shove it off as, ah, it's just a kid.

[1200] But you know you're a child.

[1201] I'm watching my child.

[1202] And so what had to happen first was first I had to get myself corrected and get myself right.

[1203] Because I do come from a locker room.

[1204] I do come from a sport in a world where the talk and the conversation around sexuality is not always, for everyone ears to hear.

[1205] Yeah, yeah.

[1206] And I've been a part of that conversation as well, just being just young, dumb, and ignit.

[1207] Yeah.

[1208] I say ignit.

[1209] Yeah, yeah.

[1210] But once I checked myself, you know, once I started personally knowing that this is a possibility that I will personally experience it, it becomes different.

[1211] And so for me, it wasn't about my child when my child comes.

[1212] If Zaire comes home and say, Dad, I want to play basketball.

[1213] You know what I'm going to do?

[1214] I'm going to do everything I can to help Zaire play basketball and be the best basketball player he can be everything in my power so my daughter comes home and say dad this is how since i've been three years old i've known that the body that i was born in is not it's not the one that i feel like it's me yeah this is not me and so it's my job to listen it's my job to learn and then it's my job to be able to help apply and adapt and help guide her through life as a parent because it's decisions that will have to be made that she would need her parents to be able to help make them right and so it's My job to get on the phone with your therapist, your doctor.

[1215] This is my job.

[1216] I'm a facilitator as a parent.

[1217] I don't own you.

[1218] Right, right, right.

[1219] Some parents have this ownership over their kids.

[1220] I don't own you.

[1221] Like, I know that because my parents don't own me. Like, we're all trying to figure this thing out.

[1222] Yeah.

[1223] I tell people, I say, when I was a young kid, I knew I liked girls.

[1224] Yeah, right.

[1225] I knew.

[1226] No one had to tell me to like a girl.

[1227] I knew.

[1228] So I cannot tell my daughter what she likes and how she feels because she knows.

[1229] So, for me, it was just, like I said, it was just about educating.

[1230] And the acceptance of it was never be in question in my household.

[1231] Like, I'm going to accept my kids for who they want to be.

[1232] I'm just going to try to do my job to make sure that they can reach it in the best way possible.

[1233] Yeah.

[1234] And so I want to help Zaya be the best person that she wants to become.

[1235] And I'm going to help her, if she got some questions for me about women, I'm going to try to help her as I can.

[1236] But I'm going to move out the way and say, babe, can you handle this?

[1237] You don't know a lot.

[1238] But I always feel weird and uncomfortable with getting praises for being a father.

[1239] Yeah, yeah.

[1240] I'm not saying you did that.

[1241] No, no, I know.

[1242] I would have the same.

[1243] You know, like, father year awards and all that.

[1244] I'd be like this.

[1245] Like, I got one, like, long, long time ago before my life really lived.

[1246] And I want to return it.

[1247] For someone to stand up and clap, like, you were, you're exceptional.

[1248] You want to go like, no, no, I just did what I should do.

[1249] I don't need to be celebrated for doing what I should do.

[1250] Do.

[1251] Fundamental responsibilities of a parent.

[1252] Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[1253] This is what I'm doing.

[1254] Stay tuned for more armchair expert, if you dare.

[1255] This is so not comparable, but I go back to a memory.

[1256] Weirdly enough, in Miami, I took my then three -year -old on a press tour with me to promote a movie.

[1257] And it was just her and I. And, of course, she's getting just way too much attention because she's my daughter.

[1258] So everyone that's helping us get in and out of interviews, oh, is this?

[1259] You know, they're giving her too much attention.

[1260] It's an unnatural amount of attention.

[1261] And her response was to talk and baby talk to them.

[1262] So she would start responding in baby talk.

[1263] In the first two days of the trip, I was like, hon, talk normal.

[1264] Like I'm trying to tell her to talk normal.

[1265] And then like on day three, I just had this moment where I was like, oh, I know what's going on.

[1266] I'm embarrassed that she's talking baby talk at three years old.

[1267] And I think these people think I'm a shitty dad or that something's fucked up at home.

[1268] Right.

[1269] And this is my embarrassment.

[1270] And here's this little girl that's got an inordinate amount of attention.

[1271] she shouldn't have and this is how she's dealing with it and i need to step out of the fucking way and detach my own ego from what's going on and then i just never said anything about it to her again and of course it just evaporated but i think often as a parent it's really easy to personalize anything and take it on as some personal embarrassment yeah and so i guess in some way i could expect that to happen to somebody who's going to have to be public about this like the first thought that might crush your mind and you would correct it would be like well people are going to think i did something wrong yeah people close to you yeah and then you got to step over that i guess to get to the right i've been called all the things right you have all the things and i've been pointed fingers at for making my daughter trans i've had it all and at the end of all the days i don't let that lead me down the wrong path in my responsibility as a father right and And it's easier for me because my kids live with me. Let me go on the record to say that because everyone responsible is are different depending on their setup.

[1272] And I also go on the record to say that it's easier for me as well because I've been afforded a lot through my hard work.

[1273] The way that we're able to live that I don't need my kids to help with anything, right?

[1274] My parents, it was different.

[1275] My parents needed me to get to the money.

[1276] Yeah.

[1277] And so when you had time to worry about you finding yourself, we need you to go play basketball football.

[1278] It's a different, it's different.

[1279] So I understand it, it's still that out there.

[1280] And so when I come out and speak on my child, maybe it's not time for you to hear what I'm saying.

[1281] Maybe you're not ready.

[1282] Yeah.

[1283] If you're not ready, that's on you.

[1284] Yep.

[1285] But it's people that's ready.

[1286] Yeah.

[1287] So don't be so loud that the people that's ready to hear it and need someone that is going through this and know that someone else is going through it, don't be too loud where they can't hear.

[1288] And that's my problem with people when it comes to their criticism of not just me and my family, but anyone.

[1289] it's like this ain't for you then yeah yeah yeah yeah not for you i ain't saying it's okay because like it's a lot of things that can hurt and harm people but i i'm not out there saying you're a bad you're not proselytizing you're not prosely you're not telling anyone to do it i don't know you're being an example of how you're doing it and people can take that as they want i'll also add people idolize you millions of people idolize you and for you to walk through this thing without any detectable shame is so fucking powerful because of the millions of people that idolize you i don't know you, a significant percentage of them will deal with something, if not this exact same thing, something very similar.

[1290] Yes.

[1291] So to see a dude that they idolize is masculine and tough and indomitable to walk through this without any hint of shame is incredibly powerful.

[1292] I just want to add one thing.

[1293] If your life goes perfect, the dream end to your life is that you'll be laying in a bed someday and you'll be staring at that daughter.

[1294] And that's the last thing you'll see.

[1295] You're not going to see anyone else that's got the voices.

[1296] Yeah.

[1297] Your perfect ending is looking in her eyes as you go on.

[1298] 1 ,000 percent.

[1299] And that's the only one.

[1300] You've got to protect who's standing at the bed at the end of the day.

[1301] 1 ,000 percent, man. Like I said, for some reason, when you have kids, people have this notion that it's ownership over those kids.

[1302] But, you know, your kids are people.

[1303] I always tell people, my son's right now.

[1304] He's 19.

[1305] I'm 30 -9.

[1306] I'm still a little youthful.

[1307] But at some point, he's running his family.

[1308] At some point, that young boy is going to take the reins of his family, and he's going to be making the calls.

[1309] Like, you know what I mean?

[1310] There was something real comforting about you.

[1311] You were like laying on a massage table and they were working on you and you're like chatting with your family and you're like, I'm still cool.

[1312] I'm 36 and I'm like, yeah.

[1313] Even Dwayne Wade's son thinks he's a fucking nerd.

[1314] This is like so comforting.

[1315] I think like for Zaire Moa son, I lost some coolness when he got about high school, a 14 because I was not as good anymore, right?

[1316] It was like other players in it.

[1317] No, meaning like it was other players in league that was better.

[1318] So he became like a fan of them and like they were cool with everything.

[1319] doing but now i feel like i got a little bit more coolness back since i retired and i'm still doing my thing and like yeah you know i got ownership now i you know i got some things that he's proud of yeah yeah i feel like i got my swag back with my son a little big i feel you know so that that makes me feel better than anything yeah i follow t i and instagram and he posted this video and his kids in the backseat and he has some like who's your favorite who's your favorite rapper and they named like six people he's like how are you not gonna fucking name me like he was berserk like You're going to have a list of seven people and you're not putting me on this list.

[1320] And I was like, oh, yeah, that's being a parent.

[1321] It's thankless.

[1322] But it's still, it's so great.

[1323] It's thankless.

[1324] But you get a steam out of it, and that's the fucking real gold.

[1325] Can I tell you another quick story?

[1326] Speaking of thankless as a parent.

[1327] So I was blessed enough and lucky enough recently to be named to the top 75, right?

[1328] Which was a lot of controversy on that list.

[1329] But I was lucky enough to be one of the people on there.

[1330] And I was on TNT at the time between Kenny and Ernie and Shaq and Charles.

[1331] And I get done with that, and I go over to a Hawks game, and I go over there because I had to do some halftime stuff with a couple other people from TNT.

[1332] And so I get back to the hotel, and I finally check my phone.

[1333] I just got named Top 75.

[1334] I'm like, yeah, my phone probably blowing up.

[1335] So I go on my phone, and I look.

[1336] I got a message from my wife.

[1337] I'm like, okay, here we go.

[1338] And she's like, hey, babe, how do you day go?

[1339] I'm like, how do you go?

[1340] So I'm looking at my daughter, my son, nobody.

[1341] Nobody in my family sent me a message.

[1342] to congratulate me on making top 75.

[1343] So, Trey laughing because I brought this up to my family at dinner one night.

[1344] And ever since then, they've been spending the last three weeks trying to celebrate me. That's good, though.

[1345] You should not be a star in your own house.

[1346] That's right.

[1347] But that just shows you, I am fifth lead in my home.

[1348] And, like, if the dogs that are they ain't out, I might be eighth or ninth.

[1349] So it's crazy.

[1350] Oh, I'm the last one, Kristen runs in to get out of the fire for sure.

[1351] All this three -legged dog will be rescued.

[1352] Everyone will be rescued.

[1353] Say, yes, I'm sorry.

[1354] Well, Dwayne, man, this has been so much fun.

[1355] I'm so glad you came in person, and I wish you a ton of luck with the book.

[1356] Dwayne, everyone should check it out.

[1357] It is, I'm going to quote Monica.

[1358] It's fucking beautiful.

[1359] Thank you, Monica.

[1360] It is really, really beautiful.

[1361] It's a very cool way to witness moments in someone's life.

[1362] It's awesome.

[1363] And then also, I know we don't need to promote it, but just I love the de -weighed life unexpected, so people should check that out.

[1364] Oh, appreciate it.

[1365] Yeah, it's so, so good.

[1366] You're so fucking likable.

[1367] It's almost frustrating.

[1368] Yeah, that's it.

[1369] Oh, I'm going to say one last thing.

[1370] your wife is the only person on my season of punked that we couldn't punk Really?

[1371] People always ask me, did it ever not work?

[1372] I didn't know that.

[1373] Yeah, and we had some bit you'll have to ask her about it where it's like we put this enormous 80s satellite in her front yard like satellite, like old style satellite for satellite TV and said like this was part of her new plan you know?

[1374] Oh my God.

[1375] It was so ugly And it took up her whole front yard.

[1376] What?

[1377] And I was like, yeah, I work with DirecTV.

[1378] Like, this is the best thing.

[1379] You check this.

[1380] This is what you ordered.

[1381] And, you know, we're not taking it away.

[1382] If we take it away, it's going to be X amount of thousands of dollars.

[1383] And she just was like, nah, this isn't real.

[1384] There's no fucking way that Adelaide is in my front yard.

[1385] And you're claiming I asked for this.

[1386] Really?

[1387] This is not real.

[1388] I don't know if she knows.

[1389] That might need to go on her, like, a tombstone one day.

[1390] Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[1391] She's the only...

[1392] Unpunkable.

[1393] Yeah, and I had to go in, you know, as the little soldier, I had to go into the garage of the other house.

[1394] I'm like, she ain't buying this.

[1395] And they were going like, no, tell her, blah, blah.

[1396] And I'm like, let me tell you something.

[1397] I looked into this woman's eyes.

[1398] She wasn't coming back.

[1399] You know, I, when you...

[1400] That was back in like 03, right?

[1401] Like, that was around the time I got drafted.

[1402] It was, like, at the height.

[1403] I was so afraid of getting punked.

[1404] I was just looking over my shoulder at all times.

[1405] Like, my friends, I always looked at them like, what you know?

[1406] Oh, man, thank you guys for never.

[1407] I appreciate you guys for never punking me, and if y 'all decide to do it, don't do it.

[1408] Oh, they sent me to punk metal world peace.

[1409] The stakes are high when you're punking metal world peace because I've seen him in Detroit.

[1410] I know if it goes sideways.

[1411] Yeah, you don't want to, you don't want to mess with Ron, a .k .a. What a beautiful dude, yeah, yeah.

[1412] Listen, he's a great dude.

[1413] Tell Ron, if you guys remember that I knew I was going to be a bad mother shut your mouth when he couldn't guard me in the playoffs my rookie year.

[1414] Defensive player of the year At the time, right?

[1415] He was a beast.

[1416] All right, man, so much fun and good luck with everything and I hope you'll come back and we can do it again.

[1417] Yeah, thank you guys, man. I love the garage vibes.

[1418] Thank you.

[1419] This is nice.

[1420] Thank you.

[1421] And now my favorite part of the show, the fact check with my soulmate Monica Padman.

[1422] Wow, we did it.

[1423] Happy New Year.

[1424] Happy New Year to you.

[1425] And tomorrow's your birthday.

[1426] Well, today's my birthday.

[1427] No, tomorrow's my birthday.

[1428] Yesterday is my birthday.

[1429] But tomorrow's your birthday.

[1430] It's so hard to keep our time loops, our lie straight.

[1431] Tomorrow is your birthday.

[1432] Today is January 1st.

[1433] It's the first day of the new year.

[1434] Oh, my gosh.

[1435] And there's been bad omens abound.

[1436] No, don't say that.

[1437] Don't say that.

[1438] I'm getting scared.

[1439] I don't like it.

[1440] Okay, fine, tell people.

[1441] All right.

[1442] Bad omen number one.

[1443] my job as the host of the party is to make sure that the ball droppings on the TVs in the background.

[1444] Sure.

[1445] I guess I've never paid attention to what network that's on or what the name of the program is.

[1446] Yeah.

[1447] Dick Clark's New Year's Rockening.

[1448] I later realized, obviously, yeah, and it felt like a fool.

[1449] Of course I know that.

[1450] But at the time, I just, I saw Miley Cyrus and I thought, well, she must be the big ticket in town.

[1451] Yeah, she's a huge ticket.

[1452] A huge ticket.

[1453] Put her on and then stop paying attention.

[1454] And then as the countdown, and now we're like 10 seconds out.

[1455] What am I going to flip the fucking channel?

[1456] Yeah, you couldn't.

[1457] All of a sudden, I realized, where's the ball?

[1458] Like, where's time square?

[1459] Where's the ball?

[1460] It was the most anticlimactic.

[1461] Because what were we watching?

[1462] I don't know.

[1463] Someone said maybe they fired a paper cannon or something.

[1464] Like, I don't even know how we knew when we got to zero.

[1465] And I was like, this is bad guys.

[1466] Like, what a terrible start.

[1467] There was a countdown in the lower right corner.

[1468] I couldn't even see it.

[1469] Very small.

[1470] Like, in fact, I just joined you guys.

[1471] Like, I joined in at eight or something.

[1472] And the whole time I was like, where is that on the screen?

[1473] I couldn't find it.

[1474] So, okay, it wasn't great.

[1475] Oh, my God.

[1476] And then I finally, you know, afterwards, I'm like, well, I'm going to hop over to the right channel now and then you see Times Square and you think how, wow, I wish I would have saw that.

[1477] I'm going to rewind.

[1478] Everything's on demand now.

[1479] Couldn't rewind.

[1480] So never did see it.

[1481] Don't even know that the ball did.

[1482] That's okay.

[1483] I think maybe that's an omen that this year we're going to break traditions.

[1484] Novel proprietary.

[1485] Yeah, we don't have to feel stuck.

[1486] Blaz new grounds.

[1487] In our old ways.

[1488] Do you think there's a little flaw in the way we do our resolutions?

[1489] Okay.

[1490] They should start on January 2nd because everyone's together.

[1491] Like currently, you and I have just escaped what is a social gathering to record.

[1492] Everyone's together.

[1493] So for like the persons who quit vape, now is not the day.

[1494] Yes, it is.

[1495] Tomorrow's the day.

[1496] No, no, no, no, no, no. Because tomorrow will always be the day.

[1497] It seems like it should be the day after the hang ends.

[1498] Like, okay, big last party day.

[1499] Everyone's together.

[1500] Now tomorrow, tighten the reins.

[1501] It's just very addicty what you're saying.

[1502] Sure.

[1503] I can't say anything that's not addictic.

[1504] I know, and I have to police that.

[1505] You could say that every day.

[1506] Like, well, today doesn't really work because I'm supposed to see this person today.

[1507] So I'll have to wait until tomorrow.

[1508] And then tomorrow it's the day my TV is getting refurbished.

[1509] So I'm going to need to do it.

[1510] You're right.

[1511] But I am listening to, or I guess I'm done with dopamine nation, which I absolutely love.

[1512] It's so good.

[1513] Everyone should read it.

[1514] I want to have the author on So Bad.

[1515] Anyways, she is a psychiatrist.

[1516] So she deals with all these people of all these different forms of addiction.

[1517] She talks about building barriers as being a strategy addict's fine that is useful.

[1518] Flush it down the toilet.

[1519] It's out of the house.

[1520] Or it's this or it's that, like these little arbitrary boundaries that.

[1521] that addicts give themselves that work to a large extent.

[1522] So this, I would argue, is like trying to do that, trying to set up a situation that's, like, easiest to win in.

[1523] Yeah.

[1524] I just know.

[1525] I know what it's like to push the goal line.

[1526] Mm, the start date?

[1527] No, the goal line.

[1528] Oh, okay.

[1529] Okay.

[1530] All right.

[1531] So what are your resolutions?

[1532] Okay, okay.

[1533] I haven't had much success rolling these out.

[1534] I'd say in the workshop phase, I think.

[1535] It's like I'm still doing small nightclubs to find out if the resolutions are good or not.

[1536] Let's start with some basic ones.

[1537] I'm going to, and I'm hesitant to say this because of my addict mind we just talked about.

[1538] Yeah.

[1539] I actually can't today think about the fact that maybe on Wednesday or Tuesday I'm quitting nicotine.

[1540] Yep.

[1541] Yeah.

[1542] I'm going to attempt, I'm going to attempt to claw back some health stuff.

[1543] Yeah.

[1544] Starting with a fresh out, a blowout in, not a blowout, a fresh up, freshen up in Mexico.

[1545] Well, I'm fucking, I'm just going to be dead honest.

[1546] What happened?

[1547] I think most people are aware of my chronic hiccup condition.

[1548] Yeah.

[1549] Or I don't know if they know it's chronic.

[1550] Just to recap.

[1551] It went 50 hours the first time.

[1552] Then the next weekend, it was manageable at like maybe 30 hours.

[1553] And then last week, I got them for about 36 hours.

[1554] and my nicotine mints are really, if I'm over them for four hours and I have a nicotine mint, I go right back to the hiccups.

[1555] So I was not brave enough, strong enough, whatever you want to call it, to also quit nicotine on the day I was dealing with the hiccups.

[1556] Yeah.

[1557] So I'm like, I can't take my mints and I'm not quitting nicotine today.

[1558] Yeah.

[1559] So I went back to vapes about what, eight days ago, 10 days ago.

[1560] So when I go to Mexico, I'm quitting these.

[1561] Yep.

[1562] You have designed a trip to quit your vices.

[1563] That's right.

[1564] A quit trip.

[1565] Quit trip.

[1566] I can't imagine those are largely successful.

[1567] We'll see.

[1568] We'll see.

[1569] We'll see.

[1570] I don't want to shit on it.

[1571] I don't want to yuck your yum.

[1572] TBD.

[1573] So we'll see.

[1574] Yeah.

[1575] Hit me with a resolution of yours.

[1576] Okay.

[1577] I have a few.

[1578] I have to start journaling.

[1579] I haven't done it yet today.

[1580] So we're not off to a good start.

[1581] And not to bring it back to my initial point, but largely the reason you didn't do it is because you're in a busy house it's fun people are talking now if you started your goal on monday tomorrow it's going to be easy for you to journal in the morning we'll see i mean i'm going to try to do it tonight so i still count it okay okay yeah also to drink more water can i tell you why i'm personally in favor of doing journaling in the morning as opposed to the night is it was twofold one when i wake up in the morning i often feel overwhelmed and so by going through what i did yesterday it builds this sense of like, oh, yeah, I get stuff done every day.

[1582] Like, that part I like.

[1583] Yeah.

[1584] And then it's also because it's this like 20 minute quiet time, I think you end up setting more intentions for your day because you're just, you're in that state of mind where you're evaluating and you're thinking of yesterday and then you think, how do you want today to be?

[1585] Yeah.

[1586] And I think it's, I don't think you can really set many intentions at night right before you go to bed as well as you can in a fresh day.

[1587] Yeah, I get that.

[1588] I don't know if mine is so much about intention setting or reflecting or winding down.

[1589] I don't know yet.

[1590] You don't even know what you're journaling's about yet.

[1591] So I have to figure it out.

[1592] But anyway, that's on the list.

[1593] Water is on the list and less food waste.

[1594] Less food waste.

[1595] That's my major one, actually.

[1596] That's my main.

[1597] Yeah, which we had a whole debate about already.

[1598] And then I read a article in the L .A. Times like the very next day.

[1599] Explaining why food waste is bad.

[1600] It is bad for landfills.

[1601] I read about it because we're going to have another bin for food waste in L .A. Oh, I didn't know that.

[1602] I don't know when that goes into action, but I think soon you'll have to put food waste in a separate thing because of the land, what it does in landfills.

[1603] Interesting.

[1604] I guess if you put, if I'm getting this right, I think the article said if you put food waste in with regular trash, it somehow intensifies the output of methane a ton, which is the number one heater.

[1605] Exactly.

[1606] Yeah, so I had previously, I had a position that I was pro food waste or.

[1607] That's a crazy sentence, but yeah.

[1608] Right.

[1609] It is a crazy sentence.

[1610] But I explained that there's, we have an economy.

[1611] We have 300 million people.

[1612] We got to keep them employed.

[1613] There's a lot of employment that results in a lot of shitty things and destruction.

[1614] But then food, like growing's great, good for the environment, people that, you know, transported, got paid, the grocery got paid.

[1615] And it's just not, it didn't turn into poop.

[1616] it turned into garbage.

[1617] But?

[1618] It decomposes really easy.

[1619] Well, I might go back to this opinion if everyone separates their food waste and that's not a problem anymore.

[1620] But currently you're right.

[1621] You're dead right.

[1622] And I was wrong.

[1623] Also, it's just bad to be wasteful, though.

[1624] It's not good to just have an abundance of stuff and keep getting more stuff and more stuff and more stuff and throwing it away and not using it and not being mindful about what you're doing.

[1625] I guess that, yes, we're probably talking about two different things.

[1626] Like, not being wasteful is a virtue to explore.

[1627] Yeah.

[1628] try to acquire that I get.

[1629] I'm just saying whether you turn it to poop or you put it in the trash, I don't think there's a difference.

[1630] Yeah, but you now know that there is because it affects the atmosphere.

[1631] Exactly.

[1632] But if that was off the table, I don't know how I'd feel about it.

[1633] Okay.

[1634] So it'd be like better than you buying something that's plastic and isn't going to biodegrade for another thousand years.

[1635] At least if you get some food, it's going to biodegrade in minutes.

[1636] Yeah.

[1637] Good for the soil it's in.

[1638] But it doesn't have to be like an either or.

[1639] This is just another.

[1640] Brian, I'm done trying to paint you into a corner here.

[1641] Yeah, I'm really picking apart my resi.

[1642] Okay.

[1643] And then another one.

[1644] You know what?

[1645] I'm going to try it again.

[1646] Okay.

[1647] But now I'm going to reverse the order that I tell it in.

[1648] Okay.

[1649] I see if it works anywhere.

[1650] Wait, what of yours?

[1651] My resolution.

[1652] Okay.

[1653] So this is in service of a broader, what I know is going to be a decade -long resolution.

[1654] I want to truly believe at all times in my heart that I will continue to receive the love I receive from the people I want love from, whether I'm displaying these five traits about myself that I think are appealing.

[1655] And so one aspect of that is to always, always be crystal clear on my motivation if I'm ever correcting somebody, if I think I'm actually helping them, or if I think I'm trying to demonstrate to them that I'm smart.

[1656] Right.

[1657] And I also am not going to, I'm going to be really police if I'm topping people's story.

[1658] That's something I want to stop doing too.

[1659] Another goal is to like let people shine.

[1660] Yeah, I like that.

[1661] Yeah, let other people shine.

[1662] That's a good one.

[1663] Oh, and I want to do cold plunging this year.

[1664] Oh, yeah.

[1665] That's what's been happening over the break.

[1666] I've started an experiment where I've cold plunged every day.

[1667] I fucking love it.

[1668] Yeah.

[1669] I love it.

[1670] Oh, yeah, the break.

[1671] Ding, ding, ding, ding, the break.

[1672] Plans were thwarted.

[1673] For our show.

[1674] For our show.

[1675] We could not do our New Year's Eve show.

[1676] we were very, very sad about it.

[1677] Like, just personally, that's what I wanted to do on New Year's Eve is with all the armcherrys.

[1678] I was like selfishly just like, I don't want to.

[1679] And then what was fucking crazy was three hours after we made that decision, which we didn't want to make.

[1680] Yeah.

[1681] Several members of our pod got COVID.

[1682] So we haven't even been with everyone.

[1683] Yeah.

[1684] Everyone's quarantining.

[1685] And first, of course, we were like, we have it.

[1686] They have it.

[1687] We've been with them.

[1688] Yeah.

[1689] And then so we would have been waiting.

[1690] Think about how stressful that day would have been had we not canceled.

[1691] Yeah, I know.

[1692] And then we were waiting at the morning to take the, whatever, the whole thing.

[1693] We did the right thing, but it was sad.

[1694] It was very sad.

[1695] Also, I couldn't go home for Christmas.

[1696] Well, so this is where this is a really funny, big irony that happened.

[1697] Mm -hmm.

[1698] Okay.

[1699] I couldn't go home for Christmas because my brother got COVID and then my parents got COVID and I was like, I can't go and get it because I have to come back for the show.

[1700] I can't have it.

[1701] Bring it into a theater full of people.

[1702] So I'm staying.

[1703] And then we ended up canceling this show.

[1704] Yes, yes, yes, yes.

[1705] Oh, gosh.

[1706] But it's okay.

[1707] It had a great Christmas here.

[1708] So then the other ironic part too is my brother and my sister -in -law visited and my mom.

[1709] And they haven't been here in two years.

[1710] Yeah.

[1711] And then Kristen smartly booked them PCR.

[1712] test right when they landed because of the show, thinking, well, if they give it to you, you have to cancel this show with all these people who bought tickets, blah, blah.

[1713] And she booked it at a place she's used 25 times.

[1714] That takes four minutes tops.

[1715] They get off the plane after waking up with the crack ass of dawn to fly to L .A. And they have to sit in a three and a half hour line to get a PCR test.

[1716] And that's how this two -day Christmas visit started.

[1717] And I was like, this is the worst.

[1718] Like, everyone's going to show up so annoyed with me as they should be.

[1719] Yeah.

[1720] But we got through it and we had the best, we had the best Christmas we've had in over a decade.

[1721] My mom and my sister -in -law, Tammy and my brother David and Carly, it was really delightful.

[1722] And then ultimately canceled the show.

[1723] So far so good, though, with all the people we know who have it, everyone is fine.

[1724] Very light symptoms.

[1725] Yeah, everyone is mild.

[1726] vaccinated booster one of the members who will remain nameless had announced just the day before that he was invincible uh because he had gotten a double dose of the booster and he just was certain he was invincible yep and uh he wasn't that's funny yeah i told him the sim doesn't like arrogance no no so it'll fuck with you it's amazing it let me get this far i mean i know it Oh, I changed the background on my phone, officially, to this year's Pantone color of the year, very Perry.

[1727] Hold it up one more time because it's really triggering something nostalgic for me. I want to say it's like a color of hubba -bubba great flavor when I was a kid or dime a tap that same.

[1728] Sure.

[1729] I didn't know this until last year.

[1730] I didn't know what Pantone is.

[1731] Yeah.

[1732] Pantone is a company that makes colors.

[1733] That labels colors.

[1734] I'll read it.

[1735] It's more abstract now that you're explaining it.

[1736] It's a company that makes colors.

[1737] Hold on.

[1738] Let me read it.

[1739] Pantone.

[1740] In 1963, Pantone, meaning all colors combining pan and tone to develop the first color matching system.

[1741] Thanks to this system, graphic designers can see exactly what yellow would look like on paper and provide the printer with the Pantone number to make sure they got exactly what they wanted.

[1742] Yeah.

[1743] So, like, this is very parry.

[1744] Pantone 17 -3938.

[1745] Is the official number.

[1746] And I'll read a little bit.

[1747] Did I already do this?

[1748] Oh.

[1749] If I already read this, I'm sorry.

[1750] But I'm going to read it anyway.

[1751] So this is exciting.

[1752] The new color represents displaying a carefree confidence and a daring curiosity that animates our creative spirit.

[1753] Inquisitive and intriguing, Pantone 173938, Very Perry, helps us to embrace this ultra -landscape of possibilities, opening us up to a new vision as we rewrite our lives.

[1754] Rekindling gratitude for some of the qualities that blue represents, complemented by a new perspective that resonates today.

[1755] Pantone 173938, Barry Perry, places the future ahead in a new light.

[1756] That's a lot of stuff together from a color.

[1757] Yeah, I love it.

[1758] I'm excited for the rekindling of the new future.

[1759] I love the things that make you excited.

[1760] We discovered something over this break.

[1761] You're genius.

[1762] You can tell stories, and I want to be careful with my adjectives.

[1763] here.

[1764] Yeah, because it's kind of insult.

[1765] It's kind of a nag.

[1766] But it's not because I love them.

[1767] I love them.

[1768] Like, you have a story about your dry cleaners and it went on for like 20 minutes last night.

[1769] And it's a grievance.

[1770] It's like, you know, you were wrong.

[1771] The service was wrong.

[1772] A lot of expensive sweaters were destroyed.

[1773] Yes.

[1774] And I'm riveted.

[1775] And everyone's riveted.

[1776] And it's really a story about your dry cleaning.

[1777] And then once I noticed it, I just noticed it happens all the time.

[1778] It's like your enthusiasm about this color that's on your phone.

[1779] I love because I can't feel that way about that color or getting excited about my phone background.

[1780] And it's contagious and I thank you for it.

[1781] Oh, you're so welcome.

[1782] Yeah.

[1783] I like getting excited for things.

[1784] That's, we have that in common.

[1785] Yes.

[1786] I look forward to things.

[1787] We're dopamine junkies.

[1788] Yeah, we like to event times.

[1789] It's messy.

[1790] Niceness of being here.

[1791] Oh, still, still 2022.

[1792] I'm still doing it.

[1793] Okay, Dwayne Wade.

[1794] Yes.

[1795] Oh, man. With his sex appeal.

[1796] We both liked him for, well, I liked him for his sex appeal a lot, too.

[1797] Like, he just, yeah, he arrived, like, the second you see him, you're like, that's a well -put -together man right there.

[1798] Biggest regret of 2021.

[1799] This is a great.

[1800] We're talking about resolutions, but let's talk about regrets.

[1801] Okay.

[1802] That should be a kind of a thing everyone does on, on New Year's, he just talks about their biggest regret in the year in front of everyone.

[1803] Wow.

[1804] Yeah, so mine is at the top of the list.

[1805] is neglecting to ask Dwayne Wade if we could join his Spades group.

[1806] I know.

[1807] Wade's Spade's tournament.

[1808] And then so I had that on my list.

[1809] I totally forgot to bring it up.

[1810] And then we had another guest who's coming up, who's fantastic.

[1811] And then it came up about Wade's Spades.

[1812] And I lost it.

[1813] But then we also discovered once that came up that that guest, forthcoming guests liked it, that's all we talked about for 45 minutes.

[1814] So it's probably bad for Arm Cherries.

[1815] Yeah.

[1816] But anyway, still a regret.

[1817] Okay.

[1818] So if someone in Dwayne's life could tell him, I really, we all want in on the spades.

[1819] We got to get in on it.

[1820] Yes.

[1821] We're like out here in a desert on our own, just huddled together, 12 of us playing.

[1822] And I think it will teach us where we are.

[1823] Like right now it's just us playing in this bubble.

[1824] And like, what if we're actually really bad?

[1825] We don't know because we're not playing with other people.

[1826] What if we're the best that's ever played?

[1827] Okay.

[1828] That's another way to look at it, glass.

[1829] half full.

[1830] Because you know, I've long ruled out that I'm ever going to be a state champion.

[1831] So this like opens the door to potentially having a trophy or something.

[1832] Yeah, you're right.

[1833] Okay, that's a good regret.

[1834] Do you have any others?

[1835] Trying to think, do it.

[1836] What are my regrets?

[1837] I definitely have some, I'm sure.

[1838] I don't feel like I think about regrets very much.

[1839] I don't either.

[1840] I'm not looking back very much.

[1841] I'm looking forward a lot.

[1842] Yes.

[1843] Interesting.

[1844] Interesting.

[1845] Real quick, I had another really big resolution.

[1846] Oh, I want to hear.

[1847] Which was to buy a new lampshade.

[1848] That's right.

[1849] And I accomplished that one already.

[1850] You already did it?

[1851] You did it this morning?

[1852] Oh, I did it last year.

[1853] You did it last year.

[1854] Yeah.

[1855] Didn't you have a different, you had another shopping goal.

[1856] Oh, you want to buy everything the first time you want.

[1857] Oh, yeah.

[1858] That's a regrets.

[1859] Oh, that's your regrets.

[1860] Oh, my gosh.

[1861] Yes.

[1862] I have a lot of shopping regrets that I saw stuff like, oh, okay, the main one is these sunglasses.

[1863] I bought them, love them so much, lost them.

[1864] Yeah.

[1865] Then when we were in London, I saw that they were on sale or, you know, for sale.

[1866] And I was like, oh, my gosh, I got to buy these again.

[1867] I mean, they're my favorite sunglasses.

[1868] I lost them.

[1869] And I was like, well, I'll just, I'll get, I'll come back tomorrow.

[1870] I'll be back.

[1871] So I'll get them then.

[1872] Next day, gone.

[1873] Gone forever.

[1874] Couldn't find them anywhere.

[1875] Oh, my gosh.

[1876] Biggest regret on my life.

[1877] Oh, my God.

[1878] Your wife.

[1879] Wow.

[1880] So it's a cool resolution.

[1881] Going to buy everything as soon as I see it.

[1882] The second you like it, it's yours.

[1883] Don't ever look at.

[1884] Your resolution is never look at a price tag again.

[1885] Just carry it to the register.

[1886] It's the worst.

[1887] Okay.

[1888] Duane.

[1889] Dwayne.

[1890] Facts.

[1891] What did Obama say when he made the shot?

[1892] He said, that's what I do.

[1893] Yeah.

[1894] And I'm going to play it.

[1895] That's what I do.

[1896] Oh, wow.

[1897] Okay.

[1898] That was pretty good.

[1899] That's what I do.

[1900] That's what I do.

[1901] It's pretty good.

[1902] It is.

[1903] I want to play it, though.

[1904] Okay.

[1905] You're ready?

[1906] Yeah.

[1907] Oh, my God.

[1908] I'm just failing until the audio take.

[1909] Just wait.

[1910] That's what I do.

[1911] That's what I do.

[1912] Oh.

[1913] All net.

[1914] Oh.

[1915] Oh, net.

[1916] That's Biden saying all net.

[1917] He means nothing but net, but yeah.

[1918] Okay.

[1919] Do they still have the rule that college players have to pass the ACT with a certain score?

[1920] Did they get rid of this?

[1921] I did find that they, right now, because of COVID, they have taken.

[1922] Currently suspended.

[1923] Yeah.

[1924] They've taken out the rule for now.

[1925] Yeah.

[1926] It might come back.

[1927] But they are saying it's because of COVID.

[1928] I hope it doesn't too.

[1929] I hated that story.

[1930] Charlie just told us that one of Duane's sons is going to be in the NBA.

[1931] His NBA bound.

[1932] Yeah.

[1933] I didn't know that.

[1934] It's so cool.

[1935] I feel like sometimes I watch videos of LeBron's kids.

[1936] Mm -hmm.

[1937] And one of them also does seem really good at basketball.

[1938] Oh, really?

[1939] Yeah.

[1940] Is he enormous?

[1941] He's tall, I think.

[1942] Okay.

[1943] Yeah.

[1944] I love his Instagram and with his family.

[1945] They do, like, all these videos together.

[1946] LeBron does?

[1947] Yes.

[1948] Like Will Smith?

[1949] Yeah, I don't follow Will.

[1950] Oh, Will's a blast.

[1951] Oh, wow.

[1952] I need to follow LeBron.

[1953] I don't think I do.

[1954] His family will do TikToks and stuff.

[1955] That's cute.

[1956] Why don't I follow him?

[1957] Callie still isn't following you.

[1958] Just an update for 2022.

[1959] I do follow Callie, though.

[1960] I know.

[1961] I follow Callie.

[1962] She does not follow me. She can't be bothered.

[1963] No. And then we're trying to make kind of a bit about it.

[1964] And she doesn't care about that either, which is so gangster.

[1965] I love it.

[1966] She's not.

[1967] She's not.

[1968] Like it seems like now she's not following me intentionally to be funny.

[1969] It's still not it.

[1970] No. No. She just doesn't think about it unless you bring it up.

[1971] Yeah.

[1972] That's right.

[1973] All right.

[1974] That's kind of it for today.

[1975] Tomorrow's your birthday.

[1976] Yeah.

[1977] You're going to be...

[1978] Ninety -six.

[1979] Yeah, made it.

[1980] Uh, 47.

[1981] 47.

[1982] Looking like a 30 -year -old boy.

[1983] Looking...

[1984] Big eyebags and a scraggly beard.

[1985] Fresh -faced 30 -year -old.

[1986] How do you feel about your upcoming birthday?

[1987] Well, I can tell you this is the same.

[1988] What do we just say that these are predictable?

[1989] These are predictable patterns.

[1990] So my pattern around this time is, it's the same for every year.

[1991] Uh -huh.

[1992] Because, you know, I hate odd numbers.

[1993] Yeah.

[1994] When I'm turning an even number, I focus really hard on my birthday, which was last year, 46.

[1995] Yeah.

[1996] I'm turning 46 is going to be a great year, 46, 4 and 6.

[1997] So now I'm all about 22 and I'm not thinking about 47 because I don't like 47.

[1998] You can't divide 47 by anything but 47.

[1999] It's fucking terrible.

[2000] Yeah.

[2001] Ugh.

[2002] How can you put that many objects together, 47 things and you can't.

[2003] divided by two.

[2004] That's kind of special.

[2005] I hate it.

[2006] Okay.

[2007] But you love 2022 because there's a lot of, a lot of evens in that.

[2008] Speaking of, that was one of the bad omens.

[2009] So I got these candle sparklers that, you know, there was a two, a zero, a two, and a two.

[2010] And we didn't have a cake to put them in.

[2011] So put them in some lemons, very L .A. Yeah, yeah, it was.

[2012] I thought someone read on that.

[2013] like Etsy that that's how you don't get ash everywhere or something use lemons yeah I thought that was so intentional no no no so then I tried to light them with little success yeah it took me a while and then I never got that zero going no but did did Ryan or Charlie someone stepped in at the end like a couple of minutes later a couple of the guys got involved just zero on its own yeah that's a rough start But, you know, again, we don't need to have expectations because it was still a wonderful night regardless.

[2014] Incredible.

[2015] So that's the lesson.

[2016] No expectations, by the way.

[2017] That would be the greatest resolution to human can have.

[2018] You know what we say in AA.

[2019] Resentments waiting to happen.

[2020] Expectations are resentments waiting to happen.

[2021] Some guys are even clever enough to say are resentments under construction.

[2022] Wow.

[2023] That's kind of nice.

[2024] Well, I love you.

[2025] I love you.

[2026] And I'm excited for this year.

[2027] Me too.

[2028] You're not going to get more stable than that.

[2029] I hope I lived to 40, 40, 40, 44.

[2030] Wow.

[2031] 4 -4 -4 -4.

[2032] 4 -4s.

[2033] That would be the dream day.

[2034] That's why I got to do no food waste.

[2035] Got to keep this planet going so we can get to 4 -444 -4 together.

[2036] I got to live 2 ,400 in 20, no, 18 years.

[2037] You can do it.

[2038] Okay.

[2039] Love you.

[2040] I love you.

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