MFM Minisode 396

[0] This is exactly right.

[1] Lady to lady here to tell you we are celebrating our 600th episode.

[2] We commemorate every 100th show with the iconic actor and our dear friend French Stewart.

[3] French, French, French, French, French, French, French, French.

[4] I'm French Stewart.

[5] And this time we took them to Las Vegas, baby.

[6] Tune in to hear about all the antics and make sure to check out more episodes.

[7] We've got literally 600 to choose from.

[8] They're packed with sleepover games and ridiculous tangents with the best guests.

[9] Don't miss new episodes every Wednesday.

[10] Follow lady to lady wherever you get your podcasts.

[11] Hello.

[12] And welcome to my favorite murder.

[13] The minisode.

[14] We read you your stories.

[15] You've written them in.

[16] What choice do we have?

[17] You want to go first?

[18] Sure.

[19] Home town, I swam in a murder pool.

[20] Hello to my humanly heroines.

[21] Oh.

[22] You are the cool aunts I wish I had and hope to be.

[23] I love how open and honest.

[24] Y 'all are, you own up to your mistakes in life and on the pod.

[25] This is truly admirable.

[26] Y 'all are the best and the reason I started therapy years ago.

[27] Now, let's give the murderinos what they want, shall we?

[28] That's right.

[29] I grew up in Westfield, Indiana.

[30] This city may sound familiar to you because you've covered the herb, and it says Georgia, you pronounce the H. Baumeister murders.

[31] Yeah.

[32] Herb Balmeister.

[33] In the 90s, Herb lived on an estate called Fox Hollow Farms, which still exists.

[34] He would pick up gay guys at bars, bring them back to his mansion, strangle them to death in his basement, pool, and bury their bodies in the backyard.

[35] And they're still fucking fighting bones.

[36] The bodies are out there.

[37] It's such a horrible story.

[38] Horrible chilling.

[39] Well, I'm here to tell you, I have swam in that pool.

[40] And I fucking know it.

[41] It's like an indoor old school pool.

[42] I've seen it.

[43] I can remember, like the pictures that I've seen that go with it are.

[44] I still get chills thinking about it.

[45] As you can probably guess, I was a dumb high schooler at the time.

[46] I was friends with the guy who lives there.

[47] If you watch the ghost adventures episode, a previous tenant of the house claims to have been pulled under by an unknown entity in the pool.

[48] Apparently, another ghost hunter visiting the house had taken a photo of the pool and saw faces peering out from under the surface of the water.

[49] I was also told, a medium and his daughter, who he didn't know had similar abilities at the time, came to visit the estate.

[50] In an attempt to preserve the little girl's innocence, the medium dad, and the homeowner discussed the history of the house without her present.

[51] They toured around the house and eventually led to the basement pool area.

[52] Again, without knowing what happened there, the little girl points to the pool and says, Daddy, there's people sleeping in there.

[53] And it says, no six cents children for me. Thank you very much.

[54] I mean.

[55] Fortunately and unfortunately, nothing like that happened to us while we took a dip.

[56] Although, we did try ghost hunting ourselves and some weird, unexplainable things happened.

[57] A group of us were in the dark basement, phone audio recording, and asking questions to any ghosts willing to answer.

[58] A few moments into us attempting contact, music from upstairs starts blaring.

[59] We were just upstairs previously and no one else was in that part of the house.

[60] We ran upstairs to make sure and turn the music down.

[61] As we were all trying to catch our breaths from sprinting up two flights of stairs and trying to comprehend what just happened, we hear three distinct knocks.

[62] We look at each other shocked and hurry to open the door.

[63] No one is there again.

[64] It's impossible to run down those stairs that quickly without making any noise.

[65] To this day, I still can't come up with a logical explanation for the music randomly turning on or the mysterious knocks on the door.

[66] Anyways, thank you for choosing my story to read aloud and keep doing what you're doing.

[67] SSDGM, D. Just going to Fox Hollow Farm, just to visit it is, and the fact that people live there.

[68] Totally.

[69] On top of that, to do anything like you're trying to contact, like, a ghost or spirits, or anything is like, yeah, they're there.

[70] There was multiple people.

[71] Yes, they were murdered.

[72] Multiple people murdered over and over in that spot.

[73] I can't imagine that just based on other things.

[74] And I mean, obviously, there's no proof, and you can not believe in ghosts.

[75] Horrible dark shit happened in that house and in that pool house, pool room or whatever.

[76] Yeah, but I want to think that those poor spirits are somewhere better.

[77] They don't stick around there.

[78] They get to go somewhere awesome.

[79] I would love that.

[80] Yeah, that's what I think.

[81] Yeah, you kicked it off good.

[82] I know, sorry.

[83] No, no. The subject line of this email is a four -year -old's earliest memory.

[84] Hello, in Minnesota 391, you asked for crazy shit we could only get away within the 80s.

[85] I was four years old in 1982.

[86] Standing up in the backseat of my dad's 70s model car, you know the kind made.

[87] out of pure steel, no seat belts, or airbags, etc. The car was loaded with six people.

[88] I'm standing behind my dad's seat, who's the driver.

[89] My cousin, who's a little younger than me, is standing up in the middle, and my baby brother was actually in a car seat.

[90] Shock, I know.

[91] My infant sister was in some kind of baby carrier in my mom's lap in the front passenger seat.

[92] We were heading into town on one of those old two -lane highways, probably going at least 60 miles an hour.

[93] I'm sure my dad was blasting some lead Zeppelin or CCR, fun time for all, until a semi -truck pulled out in front of us.

[94] My dad said later, quote, I had to make a quick decision, hit the truck or hit the ditch.

[95] Oh, my God.

[96] He chose the ladder, and we ended up smashing head on into a telephone pole.

[97] I flew over my dad and hit the windshield.

[98] My dad stuck his arm straight out and caught my cousin, but she smashed her knee into the console and had to get stitches.

[99] We both had broken arms, but that was about it for injuries, which is like, what?

[100] Impossible.

[101] Crazy.

[102] Just odd beater.

[103] I think my dad hit the steering wheel and had blood running down his face.

[104] I remember sitting on the hood, probably waiting on an ambulance, when my aunt arrived and gave me a Coca -Cola.

[105] Yes.

[106] That's an aunt who gets an emergency call, and then, And Stancer for a second goes, what will they need that I can bring?

[107] Totally.

[108] Incredible first responder work by that aunt.

[109] Yes.

[110] Be prepared.

[111] Drink this can of sugar and get distracted.

[112] This is one of my earliest memories, and I'm glad no one was killed.

[113] My family always joked that we should have hit the truck and then sued in hindsight.

[114] Jesus.

[115] I love your podcast and can say I'm a day one listener.

[116] Love you guys.

[117] And all you do, stay sexy.

[118] And always wear your seat belt, Susan.

[119] Jesus, like the common sense back then, it seems like we had enough to put fucking children in seat adults, right?

[120] I mean, some of my release memories, and I'm probably 10 years older than this person, is like sliding back and forth on the bench seat in the back seat.

[121] It was like we were in a separate room.

[122] It was so big and so loosey -goosey.

[123] And just that idea of like all of the things that have now laws of.

[124] been passed and rules have been made.

[125] But it was just like back then it was that random.

[126] And they they all lived.

[127] They just broke some arms.

[128] They all that's that is a miracle that that fucking happened.

[129] Thank God.

[130] Yeah.

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[150] Goodbye.

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[162] Like, it's not having a positive impact on my life.

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[169] Goodbye.

[170] Okay.

[171] This one's called Trash Grandma.

[172] Oh.

[173] I know.

[174] And it just starts.

[175] My grandparents immigrated to America from the Philippines in the mid -70s with three children.

[176] Together they built my grandpa's dental practice and a beautiful.

[177] a beautiful life for their family.

[178] They rewarded themselves by going to Vegas every weekend.

[179] Hell yeah.

[180] Okay, so can I just say what I'm guessing about those grandparents?

[181] Chain smokers.

[182] Pretty party -based drinkers, right?

[183] And then kind of like, they know how to have a good time, these people.

[184] Oh, yeah.

[185] Well, we're going to get to some of those.

[186] They were such a loyal customers that they got free hotel rooms every time.

[187] Smell those rooms.

[188] They reek of cigarettes so bad.

[189] You go there to smoke.

[190] Yeah.

[191] Sometimes they brought me in one lucky friend, gave us each a roll of quarters for the arcade, and we're like, bye in Vegas.

[192] Yes.

[193] Yep.

[194] So my grandma, Connie, made all kinds of trash grandma moves.

[195] She bathed me in secondhand smoke all day every day.

[196] There you go.

[197] Put half and half in my cereal and let me sit down.

[198] on my grandpa's lap in the front seat of the car.

[199] There you go.

[200] Wally was driving?

[201] I think she gleefully called it the best car seat in the world.

[202] So I think she was driving.

[203] Oh, okay.

[204] I was a passenger seat.

[205] Got it.

[206] I could write 10 pages on her shenanigans.

[207] Instead, I'll tell you her best trash grandma move ever.

[208] When I was three years old, she and I were on her back patio.

[209] She gave kisses to her parrot and puffed on a more cigarette while I played quietly in the plastic kitty pool.

[210] More M -O -O -R -E, remember those?

[211] M -O -R -E, yeah, because they were longer.

[212] Oh, really?

[213] You got more cigarette.

[214] Yeah, I got it.

[215] And then to her horror, she spotted a rattlesnake curled up near the kiddie pool.

[216] What?

[217] She ran inside as fast as she could, closed in the sliding glass door and locking it behind her.

[218] All caps.

[219] Yes, she left me outside with the snake.

[220] She yelled for my uncle who yelled, get the kid inside.

[221] Thank you, uncle.

[222] And she reluctantly unblocked the door and took.

[223] took me in while my uncle killed the snake with a shovel.

[224] Every man for himself.

[225] Oh, my God.

[226] Despite this story and her being a negative Nancy and total potster, I appreciate my grandma more than I can say.

[227] She and my grandpa loved me more purely and unconditionally than anyone ever has, and spoiled me absolutely rotten.

[228] Grandpa is at the big party in the sky, but grandma is still here smoking two to three packs of moors a day.

[229] If your grandparents are still here, call them today.

[230] You mean everything to them.

[231] Stay sexy and remember that snakes can probably eat children, A. Well, I mean, if it was a boa constructor, let's not be crazy, A. I want more trash grandma stories, please.

[232] Yes, hell yes.

[233] I thought, and I bet you there are these, they might have these stories, but I was like, the first thing my brain went to was she goes to whatever, the pepper mill, whatever place in Vegas, and just fills her purse up with creamers and salt and pepper packets.

[234] and all that kind of stuff.

[235] Definitely.

[236] Equal.

[237] The subject line of this is, Things that Wouldn't Happen Now, Molotov Liquor Store Edition.

[238] And then it says in parentheses, three -minute shorty.

[239] Hmm.

[240] Oh, hey.

[241] That's how it starts.

[242] You recently asked for things that wouldn't happen now on a recent minisode, and now here I am.

[243] I won't bore you with the old story of my then six -year -old uncle, tuck and rolling out of a moving car on the way to church, because he just didn't want to go.

[244] Feel that one.

[245] But I will tell you about a fire that would have never happened today because we just don't smoke like we did.

[246] My grandmother Inez worked as a cashier in a liquor store in a tiny town in central Wisconsin called Iola, Population ,200.

[247] Wow.

[248] Now, Grandma had severe asthma, so she never smoked, but it being the late 90s, she was the rare bird who did not have a heater in hand at all times, even on the job.

[249] She was off work the day one of her co -workers emptied a full ashtray in the trash bin without checking that all the butts were cool.

[250] The trash was taken to the back and placed near a pile of cardboard liquor boxes, and that's where the fire started and grew.

[251] This fire burned fast and hot enough that once it reached the front of the store and all the liquor bottles, it blew up the building and one third of the downtown area caught on fire.

[252] Holy shit.

[253] They had to knock down two buildings in order to stop the fire from spreading.

[254] And in total, seven buildings were lost and over 200 firefighters were called in to help from surrounding communities.

[255] Inez lost a cushy job that day, but thankfully no people died.

[256] Wow, that's insane.

[257] Anywho, stay sexy and don't turn your liquor store into a Molotov cocktail, Cassie.

[258] Holy shit.

[259] I'm so scared of fires.

[260] I don't want to ask for fire stories, but I bet there's someone, like some crazy ones out there that you guys, that everyone has.

[261] I mean.

[262] Right.

[263] Or it could be like interactions with the fire department because a lot of people don't realize it's like there's the fire stuff, but then there's like all the medical calls where it's like they're the first responders often to your average medical call because they're close by.

[264] Well, you know we love a first responder story in general.

[265] Yeah.

[266] Any of those.

[267] Anything.

[268] Anything.

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[289] Goodbye.

[290] Okay, my last one is called, well, that was awkward, Britain's Abroad Edition.

[291] Oh, hey there, friend Arenos.

[292] Greetings from Ye Old England, more specifically, Gloucester.

[293] Yes, I fucking looked up the pronunciation of that.

[294] Smart.

[295] Right.

[296] Home to the horror show that is Fred and Rose West.

[297] Oof.

[298] And welcome to my story.

[299] You wanted awkward misunderstandings, I guess?

[300] Sure.

[301] Yeah.

[302] Well, here you go.

[303] A douchebag ex -boyfriend and I were on a holiday in Japan several years ago.

[304] It says his only redeeming features was that he had a lot of money, so I got to go on some pretty nice trips.

[305] Get yours.

[306] While wandering around the edge of the beautiful town of Kyoto, we passed a cafe.

[307] There was a big sign on the side of the building with a picture of a steaming.

[308] cup of coffee and some Japanese words.

[309] Great, we thought we'd stop for a quick one.

[310] We parted the retro chic, beaded curtain at the entrance and went in.

[311] A fairly elderly waiter appeared, looking surprised but friendly, and bowed to us.

[312] We bowed back in a very British way and gestured that we would like to sit at a counter in the corner.

[313] We were the only customers.

[314] His English was clearly ropey and our Japanese was non -existent, so it all felt a bit awkward.

[315] But we made ourselves comfortable while he hovered nearby.

[316] We somehow indicated that we'd like two coffees, took out our map and started discussing where we'd go next.

[317] The sweet man continued to stand there for a moment, but then disappeared behind another beaded curtain, quickly returning with our coffees.

[318] He again stood and smiled at us weirdly for a bit, then, toddled off.

[319] It was only then that we looked up and took in our surroundings.

[320] Through the curtain in front of us was a small, unassuming kitchen.

[321] To our left was a sparsely decorated living room area.

[322] And behind us, through yet another bloody beaded curtain, was the old man sitting in a small office behind a computer.

[323] The fact that we were the only customers suddenly made perfect, herrithic sense.

[324] Our stomachs dropped as the realization hit us that this was not, in fact, a cafe that we'd wandered into, but this poor Japanese man's house.

[325] No. I, not one from moving quickly under any circumstances, have never shot out of a chair so fast.

[326] We grabbed our things, the commotion bringing the guy out to see what these four born idiots we're up to now.

[327] One thing we excel out in England is apologizing.

[328] So in a way, this was our time to shine.

[329] Yeah.

[330] Get in there.

[331] We said sorry, 2 ,000 times, bowed another thousand times and tried unsuccessfully to explain ourselves across the language barrier as we tumbled outside.

[332] Dushbag took out his wallet and tried to give the guy some money, how fucking mortifying, but he empathetically gestured no. Just smiled, look puzzled, and waved us off.

[333] On closer inspection, it turns out that the big cafe sign, on the side of the building was actually just an advert for some coffee brand.

[334] I want to curl up in a ball and die when I think about this.

[335] But also, my heart is forever warm by the unflinching kindness and generosity of that lovely Japanese man. Yes.

[336] I hope he still thinks of us sometimes.

[337] And if he's listening, which he's definitely not, Konichiwa.

[338] And sorry.

[339] I've been listening to you, Megabababes since day one.

[340] My, how we've all grown.

[341] physically, emotionally, spiritually.

[342] It's been a journey.

[343] Stay sexy and learn Japanese, Lauren, X, X. I mean, it's so beautiful that culturally Japan are the kind of people as far as I understand.

[344] Yeah.

[345] That they would never go.

[346] Like, I just realized, I don't know if I can ever travel to Japan because I am the most direct.

[347] Like, what are you doing in here?

[348] Like, I have no problem.

[349] I've never had saying things like that where it's like, this is an entire culture.

[350] of people who would never try to or want to offend you, even if it means you're busting into their house.

[351] He's serving a coffee.

[352] He's like went and got them coffees.

[353] He did it.

[354] I love it.

[355] Did the cups match?

[356] Was he trying to then pretend it was a cafe because he didn't want them to be embarrassed?

[357] Or is it like the quirky kind that has like a bunch of different kinds of mugs, but it's actually your house because you have a bunch of different kinds of mugs?

[358] What if them doing that made this man realize he actually did want to open a cafe?

[359] And that was his true arts desire.

[360] Oh, my God.

[361] And that's when he realized.

[362] Yeah, that's what it all came together.

[363] That's it.

[364] Okay, here's my last.

[365] The subject line is 10 -year -old bank teller.

[366] Hi, let's get these pleasantries out of the way.

[367] I've been a listener since day one.

[368] I was a grad student then, and I'm almost done with my public service loan forgiveness.

[369] I've gotten married and had two kids in that time span that I've been listening.

[370] I mean, talk about growing.

[371] And Lauren made that point.

[372] And now this email.

[373] takes up where Lauren left off.

[374] That's quite a lot of growth.

[375] That's amazing.

[376] I don't think I've done as much.

[377] Okay, anyway, I'm listening to Minnesota 391, and you said something about a 17 -year -old bank teller.

[378] Well, I want to tell you that I was a 10 -year -old bank teller.

[379] I grew up in a really small town of Brawley, California.

[380] And if you don't know anything about small towns, they seem to make up their own rules when it comes to things.

[381] And this includes when it comes to things.

[382] And this includes take your child to work day.

[383] My mom was a bank teller and took me to work.

[384] And instead of just doing the usual, this is a bank, this is how the bank works, they gave me my own window.

[385] And yes, I worked as a bank teller for a full day.

[386] And then in all caps, it says, on my own.

[387] Put your child to work day is what they should have called that.

[388] I was only 10 and not one customer batted an eye when they came to my window to complete their transaction.

[389] Luckily, I balanced my drawer and there were no issues.

[390] I couldn't even balance my drawer when I was like a 19 -year -old checker at a grocery store.

[391] For real.

[392] I told my mom that I think this would be frowned upon today and was probably child labor.

[393] And there's a little laughing emoji.

[394] I even wore one of my mom's very 90s business outfits and curled my hair.

[395] My mom worked at this bank for years.

[396] One of my favorite things was when she was on ATM duty.

[397] This meant that for the weekend, she was on call when the ATM would get low on cash.

[398] And we, parentheses, because why not bring your kid into the bank after hours, would have to go into the bank and fill the ATM back up with cash.

[399] This gave me the perfect opportunity to stand on the other side of the ATM.

[400] And when someone would come up to the ATM, I would say, hi, it never failed to freak him out and give me immense joy.

[401] Oh, so they could talk through the ATM.

[402] Yeah.

[403] That sounds like it.

[404] Oh, my.

[405] Hi, from a tiny child.

[406] Hi.

[407] It's haunted.

[408] The ATM is talking to you in a child's voice.

[409] MFM has been a part of my self -care routine for so long.

[410] As a social worker and mom of two toddlers, time to myself is rare, and I always look forward to a new episode.

[411] Stay sexy and don't worry about the 10 -year -old bank teller on Take Your Kid to Work Day.

[412] Rose.

[413] Rose, that's so sweet.

[414] Thank you.

[415] Rose dressed the part.

[416] She curled her 10 year old hair.

[417] I see it.

[418] She showed up.

[419] And that makes sense.

[420] It's like, Rose is telling the story like, can you believe they let me do this?

[421] It's like, Rose, you wanted to do it.

[422] You're into it and everyone was playing along.

[423] She showed up for work that day.

[424] It's just like, it wasn't.

[425] Balanced her drawer.

[426] And did it.

[427] It balanced her drawer.

[428] That is amazing.

[429] I love it.

[430] fun fun fun that's it thanks for writing in you guys we just love your letters tell us whatever you want at my favorite murder at gmail yeah such good stories and such nice slices of life i know very needed and very appreciated also so many people said they're day one listeners in these emails yeah are they really are they really there's like 500 of them so yeah that's right we need proof go through and you have to show us yeah all right well stay sexy And we'll get murdered.

[431] Goodbye.

[432] Elvis, do you want a cookie?

[433] This has been an exactly right production.

[434] Our senior producer is Alejandra Keck.

[435] Our editor is Aristotle Acevedo.

[436] This episode was mixed by Leanna Squalachie.

[437] Email your hometowns to My Favorite Murder at Gmail .com.

[438] And follow the show on Instagram and Facebook at My Favorite Murder and on Twitter at MyFave Murder.

[439] Goodbye.