Scarlett Johansson

[0] Welcome, welcome, welcome to the 500th episode.

[1] Happy birthday.

[2] Happy birthday.

[3] You look so young for 500.

[4] Oh, thank you.

[5] Yeah, you're aging backwards.

[6] Benjamin Button.

[7] You don't look like you've done an episode more than 300, if I'm being honest.

[8] Oh, thanks.

[9] Tops.

[10] It's a big deal.

[11] 500.

[12] Yeah.

[13] Doesn't feel like it.

[14] No, it really doesn't.

[15] No. I heard that number.

[16] I was like, nah.

[17] That's too many.

[18] Congratulations.

[19] It's a big deal.

[20] Wabi Wob, congratulations.

[21] Rob's been here for about 400 of them, so he gets four -fifth of a congratulation.

[22] All of it.

[23] Every day.

[24] Yes.

[25] So unbelievably grateful that we've had a listenership that has allowed us to do 500.

[26] And I hope to one day be saying congratulations on our 5 ,000 episode.

[27] Oh, really shit.

[28] 10 % of the way there.

[29] Well, you pulled out all the stops, and we've got a megastar for our 500th episode.

[30] She's a biggie.

[31] I mean, when I say megastar, quantifiably, the highest grossing box office star of all time.

[32] Oh, that gets fact -checked.

[33] Stick around for the fact -check.

[34] Okay.

[35] Regardless, $14 .1 billion in box -up.

[36] It's insane.

[37] It's insane.

[38] Scarlett Joe Hanson.

[39] You know her.

[40] I don't need to tell you about her, but she is an award -winning actor and the highest -grossing Ding, ding, ding, ding.

[41] Stay around for the factjack of all time.

[42] Lost in Translation.

[43] Her marriage story, Black Widow, The Avengers.

[44] And she has a new, beautiful, minimalist, Scandinavian -inspired skin care line called The Outset, which we talk about.

[45] This is her first big business she's launched.

[46] It's really cool.

[47] I use it.

[48] I love it.

[49] She does it all.

[50] Please enjoy our 500th episode with Scarlet Joe Hansen.

[51] Wondry Plus subscribers can listen to Armchair Expert early and ad free right now.

[52] Join Wondry Plus in the Wondry app or on Apple Podcasts.

[53] Or you can listen for free wherever you get your podcasts.

[54] I know, my voice is really dry.

[55] Thank you.

[56] Okay, I appreciate that.

[57] What was your long day yesterday?

[58] We had a party last night that was the outset party here in Hollywood, and it was a lot of talking.

[59] and beauty advice and influencers and editors.

[60] And it's a whole new world.

[61] How many times have you done Vogue Beauty Secrets?

[62] I've never done the Vogue Beauty Secrets.

[63] This is Monica's great obsession.

[64] The videos, right?

[65] I want to be on it so bad.

[66] Yeah.

[67] I think you'll never ask me. You're ready.

[68] I'm sure if you wanted to.

[69] We need to talk about there's...

[70] Of course.

[71] I knew that.

[72] No, she's been offered it.

[73] And she's like, no, I don't want to fucking film in my own fucking bathroom.

[74] This is what I would say.

[75] So you also love the Vogue Beauty Secrets.

[76] I don't.

[77] I'm just aware of them because Kristen agreed to do one.

[78] And she was upset about it after or what?

[79] I was upset.

[80] I had one of my little meltdowns I have.

[81] So it was being instructed, the setup of the shot.

[82] There was a lot of people involved on a Zoom running Anna, Kristen's assistant, through the ringer.

[83] Nope, do that.

[84] Move that towel.

[85] This is a blah, blah, blah, blah.

[86] All barking orders.

[87] And I'm just in the bedroom kind of overhearing it.

[88] And it gets to.

[89] a point where I start yelling from the bedroom.

[90] Think you got it.

[91] Think it looks good.

[92] Like I started getting defensive of Anna.

[93] You guys are getting insane.

[94] Like what the toothbrush needs to be rotated to the left 10 degrees.

[95] And then I started getting defensive.

[96] And then I was kind of making a little bit of a scene, which I sometimes do.

[97] And then I just leave the bedroom because I remembered I'm representing Kristen poorly in this moment.

[98] She has agreed to do this.

[99] Everyone's on board.

[100] I need to get the fuck out of here.

[101] No one asks me if people are micromanaging on them.

[102] I see.

[103] Okay.

[104] That's the context.

[105] You tell me, was I an A -hole or?

[106] I wasn't there, so I don't want to place a judgment.

[107] This is a judgment -heavy zone.

[108] Go ahead and judge.

[109] I'm silently judging you, but now I'll make it known.

[110] I think in that situation, it seems annoying.

[111] I agree with you.

[112] But I don't know if I would say anything.

[113] But you and I are different people, Dex, and that's what we're going to discover.

[114] Are we, though?

[115] Oh, I'm excited.

[116] I'm Cher Xx, no, I actually.

[117] I'm here to prove we're the same person.

[118] So we have opposite agendas, which maybe confirms or denies the premise of what you said.

[119] I have to interject.

[120] I have to.

[121] Yes, please.

[122] Because I know what happened.

[123] And Marcel can probably back this up.

[124] They wanted to come to the house to set up everything.

[125] Yeah, not an option.

[126] Yeah.

[127] Right.

[128] So they probably said, can we come?

[129] Can we set everything?

[130] Can we make it the way we want it?

[131] And knowing that you live in that house, the option was no, but we have a great assistant.

[132] Really quick, you're guessing or you know this?

[133] I know, am I right?

[134] You're absolutely right.

[135] Okay, but you were guessing, right?

[136] I was guessing, but I've lived that life.

[137] I've lived it.

[138] Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[139] I used to be Christian's assistant, hence why I know Marcel so well.

[140] So let's talk about the bogey in the room.

[141] We got a bogey today.

[142] And he comes up often on the show because he's Kristen's publicist and he's your publicist.

[143] That's right.

[144] Marcel and I have worked together since I was, I think, 19 or 20.

[145] And I just want to put some feathers in his cap.

[146] he's so fucking cute it's impossible i adore him he's a great hugger he's such a cute boy secondly christin's worked more consistently with him than any other person in her life this is who she's married to yes there have been many times in my career where i said out loud can i just have my publicist marcell and my attorney yeah i always know if i call marcel i explain a situation he's going to be the person who gives you the real honest how it is his opinion, but he's very like he'll see all different sides of it.

[147] He's very balanced.

[148] He has a lot of tact.

[149] This is what I love about myself because I'm often privy to all these kinds of situations that arise in Kristen's life.

[150] And I'm involved too when he's working with both of us.

[151] There's no spin.

[152] He's like, yeah, this part sucks.

[153] This is ridiculous.

[154] They're out of line.

[155] You probably have to do this because let's get real.

[156] You got to do something.

[157] Just real talk.

[158] I think you guys should do a side show.

[159] Just with.

[160] That's real talk with Marcel.

[161] I would love that.

[162] That's a great idea.

[163] That's a great idea.

[164] Enough about me. Go on.

[165] No. I have to add one more thing about you because the true marker of someone's character is how they treat.

[166] How should we say, the little people.

[167] Yeah.

[168] And I was the assistant.

[169] And we had the best relationship.

[170] And you were always so nice to me and so kind and everyone loves Mars.

[171] Hold on.

[172] Counterpoint.

[173] Is he so nice to the little people or is he just an incredible talent scout?

[174] And he looked at you and he's like, oh, this girl's going to be living.

[175] across the street from them in 10 minutes.

[176] And by God, you were.

[177] I don't know.

[178] What happened?

[179] Marcel, was it, you're nice to everyone or you saw a talent or both?

[180] You're nice to everyone.

[181] Nice to everyone.

[182] Marcel used to be in hospitality.

[183] You ran the housekeeping department for like some, was it Marriott?

[184] Ritz Carlton.

[185] Oh, you don't.

[186] So he's.

[187] Marriott.

[188] It's because Ritz Carlton, Scarlett.

[189] Did you know, I actually have a endorsement deal with Marriott.

[190] They're a great, great organization.

[191] They're a big sponsor of this podcast, too.

[192] They're above Ritz Carlton in many ways.

[193] They're like the Ritz Carlton of Marriott.

[194] They're the Ritz Carlton of business travelers, let's just say.

[195] Okay, do you have any memories of meeting me when we were younger?

[196] I remember meeting you out.

[197] I don't think we ever spent tons of time together, but I remember seeing you out and being like, hey, what's up?

[198] That's right.

[199] That's kind of my memory.

[200] But, of course, I'm a realist.

[201] So I assumed I would remember better than you would remember, because you were a very exciting entity at these nightclubs, and I was just kind of around, if that makes sense.

[202] But it does mark my only little period of going to nightclubs.

[203] Have you continued on?

[204] I club constantly.

[205] You see like the night.

[206] It just came from a nightclub.

[207] And it's one o 'clock in the afternoon.

[208] Over Zoom.

[209] Well, at the time that I was going out then, it's such a specific time in my life that I remember seeing you because I had moved from New York.

[210] I was born and raised in Manhattan, and so I lived there until I left my parents' house.

[211] I had a breakup.

[212] I needed to leave New York.

[213] I just kept seeing the same people around and came out to L .A., and that's kind of around that time.

[214] It was like 19, 20, 21, and I, yeah, would go out.

[215] I think it's safe to say you were often too young to be in the nightclubs we were in, just from a legal point of view.

[216] I'm going to plead the fifth.

[217] Okay.

[218] Well, I'm going to say that you're not 21 when I was seeing you.

[219] We had Drew Barrymore, And she was in them when she was seven.

[220] Yeah.

[221] She was at Studio 54 at like eight years old.

[222] Oh, that's cool.

[223] Yeah.

[224] I had probably, I would say at least, you know, 12 years on Drew by that point.

[225] Yeah.

[226] You hung out with a woman, Sarah Pantera.

[227] Yes.

[228] And she somehow was friends with Ashton as well.

[229] I was on TV for all six minutes at that point.

[230] And so I just went where Ashton went primarily.

[231] And then I would meet Sarah.

[232] And you were with her all the time.

[233] So I did have several conversations with you at these nightclubs.

[234] Yeah.

[235] She had all the kind of great parties.

[236] I became really good friends with her.

[237] And so I essentially would just go out to see my friend Sarah.

[238] Yes.

[239] She happened to be also like a huge party promoter.

[240] So I would end up at these nightclubs, but we would just end up waiting for Sarah to leave the front door so she could like come and hang out with us.

[241] I have great memories of that time.

[242] Who are the key players in that scene that you remember?

[243] I didn't really hang out with so many people that were.

[244] acting and so heath was around a lot.

[245] Heath Ledger.

[246] Not to be confused with any other heaths.

[247] The only, yeah, the one and only.

[248] Lindsay Lohan was always around.

[249] I didn't know her really.

[250] I didn't either, but I remember thinking, I think she's too young to be in here.

[251] You are so prude.

[252] Why does it get to be that?

[253] You know what?

[254] Wow.

[255] He's never been called that in his entire life.

[256] I could have given a fuck.

[257] I just meant like legally I thought.

[258] No, you actually.

[259] You cared about the legality of the situation.

[260] Well, I cared when, I think in her case, she was 17.

[261] And I remember feeling a little bit.

[262] You never went to a nightclub when you were 17?

[263] I didn't because I was a shithead.

[264] You were like, she's 17 and she gets to be in this nightclub.

[265] And I was a shithead and nobody wanted me in their nightclub.

[266] That's a great theory.

[267] And that's kind of one I would come up with further proving my point were the same.

[268] But no, I was legitimately a little concerned because all the dudes in there were not 17.

[269] Do you think that you don't like being a nightclub?

[270] clubs with people who are potentially under age when you were young because that's confusing for you like how do I know who to hit on oh oh right really good question I was brand new to this whole thing so I'm like in a Hollywood nightclub for the very first time and I'm thinking oh people get to come in even if they're not 21 if they're famous this is kind of exciting that's true everywhere I grew up in New York and everybody was going out it's a lot more willy nilly in New York don't you think not anymore not anymore but then because when I would go to clubs there, yes, I found it to be, well, A, they stay open until 4 in the morning.

[271] That's different.

[272] Who's going to a nightclub that's not 19?

[273] I'd give it a window of 18 -ish, 17 seems maybe young, to like 25?

[274] Yeah.

[275] So I think you should be doing right now is flipping the script and going, what the fuck were you doing in there at 26?

[276] I think that's an appropriate question.

[277] A -A -R -P of the nightclub.

[278] I was the dude coming back to high school at my sophomore year of college.

[279] I think Sandra Bullock made that movie.

[280] Is that, was there somebody did?

[281] Blindside?

[282] Did she make several?

[283] That was a different.

[284] That feels like a different vibe.

[285] I didn't see it, but it felt like from the ad materials.

[286] It's like Blindside meets Freaky Friday, meets something with Cameron Diaz, I feel like.

[287] Oh, Miss Congeniality.

[288] No, there was, was that the one?

[289] What's the one the person goes back to high school and they're.

[290] Oh, there's so many good ones.

[291] Oh, never been kissed.

[292] That's what I was thinking.

[293] There we go.

[294] There we're doing more.

[295] Ding ding ding.

[296] Dingles.

[297] Okay.

[298] I recall you, though, because at that point, you had ordered.

[299] done ghost world.

[300] Yeah, I was 15 when I did ghost world.

[301] That's wild.

[302] And we'll be one of the many disturbing things I wrestle with during this.

[303] I guess if you were 15, I was 22.

[304] So I was watching that movie.

[305] And that was the first time I became aware of you of like, oh my God, this girl's beautiful.

[306] I'm super interested in what she does.

[307] She seems to be the perfect girl.

[308] I think a lot of nerds felt that way.

[309] Like, oh, she's moody and sarcastic and cool and really attractive.

[310] These things shouldn't go together.

[311] This is like a whole new thing.

[312] This is a memorable.

[313] Like when I saw James McAvoy, I saw him and I was like, oh, wow, I'm excited.

[314] Who's this person?

[315] What have they done?

[316] I want to watch everything they're in.

[317] That was the first thing I saw you in where I was like, I'm in the Scarlet Johansson business as a viewer.

[318] I want to follow this person forever.

[319] So when I would see you at these nightclubs, I was already a huge fan.

[320] Oh, thank you.

[321] Hence why I would remember more I would expect than you would.

[322] But I remember you.

[323] I'm really tall.

[324] That helps.

[325] No, it wasn't just that.

[326] You were personable and fun.

[327] Yeah.

[328] And we hung out in the same song.

[329] I think we had a few asides where we were both sarcastic together.

[330] And I thought, oh, this is a good pairing.

[331] Yes, it was a good pairing.

[332] I saw you in Home Alone 3.

[333] Whoa.

[334] You remembered me from it?

[335] Or later on, you were like, oh, I think that face looks familiar.

[336] I don't know the order of events.

[337] I just know that.

[338] I guarantee you did not have the same reaction as Dax had to the ghost world as Home Alone I saw you in a nightclub.

[339] I'd be like, that's the girl from Home Alone, Three.

[340] She's going far.

[341] I love that movie.

[342] I had the reaction that people then would have for a long, long time.

[343] And this is an impossible topic for you to comment on, but I must say it is you have a bizarre X Factor.

[344] We've talked about it on the show.

[345] What's an X Factor?

[346] I'll give you an example.

[347] Did you see X Machina?

[348] Yes.

[349] So I was watching it with Kristen.

[350] We were at the movie theater.

[351] And it's just a spectacular movie.

[352] in and of itself.

[353] And every guy I know who watched it fell so in love with the robot.

[354] Alicia Vickander.

[355] And so for the guys that watched it, we were getting two things.

[356] There was like this incredible movie and it was eerie and all these things.

[357] And also we were going, oh, we'd be that guy.

[358] Like, I'm in love with this robot.

[359] I would have done whatever she said.

[360] There was something that happened as the male viewer or whatever, the lesbian viewer, where you got overwhelmed by this creature on screen.

[361] Well, no, not necessarily.

[362] Also, you could be a heteronormative female and also find, because her performance is very enigmatic in that film and she's just very compelling.

[363] Maybe what you're describing is a compelling factor.

[364] The only reason I bring it up is not to objectify you into having this X factor, but I am curious when someone has the X factor.

[365] When you say X factor, do you mean sex factor?

[366] I'm trying to understand what it is exactly.

[367] Right.

[368] And I'm going to try my best to explain it, to articulate what it.

[369] Because I've had many conversations with Kristen about this exact thing, your X Factor.

[370] And she's like, oh, she's so beautiful.

[371] I totally see it.

[372] But explain to me. And I go, I don't know.

[373] There's something inordinately inviting that seems to be broadly accepted.

[374] Is that weird and creepy?

[375] It's going somewhere, I promise.

[376] Well, let's equate it to a man so that no one feels super uncomfortable because it exists there too.

[377] How would you say Brad Pitt's hot?

[378] You'd go like, oh, he's got good eyes.

[379] he's got good hair or he's got good lips.

[380] It's insufficient.

[381] It doesn't explain what Brad Pitt has.

[382] Are you saying virile?

[383] Is it that?

[384] Him in Once Upon a Time in Hollywood.

[385] He's sitting on the rooftop with his shirt off.

[386] Wait a minute, though.

[387] Because I think men feel that way about Brad Pitt.

[388] More than women.

[389] Maybe.

[390] I don't know.

[391] Equal, yeah.

[392] I don't know.

[393] I think women do have that about you.

[394] Same with Alicia Vacant.

[395] It's the same thing.

[396] It's across his gender.

[397] This might not work for you because you actually worked with him.

[398] But a person that has it for me that's male is Javier Bardem.

[399] Oh, yeah.

[400] He's very enigmatic and compelling that.

[401] You're talking to the police sketch artist and you're like, well, this is why he's so unbelievably attractive.

[402] They're trying to draw his eyes and stuff.

[403] Like, you're not going to be able to say physically why Javier Bardem has this insane magnetism.

[404] I think there's actors that have that, that even if you saw them in a coffee shop, it wouldn't necessarily be the person that you would be attracted to.

[405] And I mean, attracted not just sexually, but like interested in and compelled by, but then the nuance of their work is alluring and ripe.

[406] I bring all that up not to like make you super uncomfortable, but to ask, how does that pair up with one's own self -esteem?

[407] Like, I guess what I'm saying is Brad Pitt can look in the mirror and he's like, yeah, the eyes are blue check, the symmetry's there, golden rule, I got it, my hair line's thick, like he might be able to build in his own mind a pretty substantial case sort of like, objectively, I can see I'm good looking.

[408] But I don't know that someone with the X factor can actually internalize the X factor.

[409] That's what interests me. My hunch is you've never looked in the mirror and thought, fuck, yeah, look at this X factor.

[410] There's something about me. You haven't.

[411] I'm excited that you have.

[412] Whatever this elusive X factor thing is, as soon as it's something that you're self -aware of, it probably goes away.

[413] I think you're right.

[414] It shan't be recognized or you'll lose it.

[415] You'll lose it.

[416] Like X -caliber or something.

[417] It's scary.

[418] It's like the elusive, magical land.

[419] Arabia.

[420] It's like Arabia.

[421] That's a real land.

[422] Oh, okay.

[423] Atlantis, is that what you're thinking?

[424] No. What's that place with the aliens?

[425] Mars.

[426] No. While you ruminate on what this utopian land is.

[427] I've been made lovesick by three movies in my life where, like, for a week, I could have maybe not got out of back because I was so love sick.

[428] heartbroken.

[429] Eternal sunshine of the spotless mind.

[430] For me, it correlated with having broken up with a girl I was with for nine years.

[431] And then now I was on TV and had money and I had this weird thought.

[432] I could never, ever have a relationship that was maybe truthful.

[433] Post that, it represented that to me. They had this innocence.

[434] They were broke.

[435] They'd play under a blanket and it was heaven.

[436] That's all they needed.

[437] I projected a lot onto that.

[438] But needless to say, I was devastated for about a week.

[439] The other two movies you're in.

[440] So, Lost in Translation.

[441] I'm ruined for a week.

[442] Why did he get in the cab?

[443] What's going on?

[444] That's it.

[445] Life is like that, I guess.

[446] You have those relationships sometimes that are of that time and place.

[447] Which is a beautiful thing that we get to have that.

[448] It's like a nice thing we get to have.

[449] But it's bittersweet.

[450] It is.

[451] It's heartbreaking.

[452] Can you get infected by a movie like that if you're in it?

[453] Probably not.

[454] And when I'm making it, I am.

[455] Is Bill Murray, he's as special as I want him to be.

[456] He's a very soulful and deep person.

[457] He's got a crazy brain.

[458] It's firing constantly.

[459] So when you were shooting it, are you able to, because it's similar to the context of the movie, which is like, this is old man in Japan and I'm married and this and that.

[460] So when I made Lost in Translation, I was 17.

[461] Oh, Jesus.

[462] So I just want to disturb you even further.

[463] I don't like your timeline.

[464] Just pile it on.

[465] I don't like your timeline.

[466] Does it work for any of my questions?

[467] I'm actually currently only 16, so do the math.

[468] But yeah, I was 17 when I made it.

[469] My mom was actually there with me. It was the last film she had to chaperone me for.

[470] I did a film soon after that called Girl with the Pearl Earring.

[471] And I remember turning 18, I think, right before we started production.

[472] And so she no longer needed to chaperone me. Was that a sad moment?

[473] I think it was bittersweet.

[474] I liked having her there, but I also was doing my own thing.

[475] She was with me on that job.

[476] It was a tough job, I think, because it was a very small, production we shot for 36 days or something like that we shot like day for night and it was very sort of discombobulating and bill i idolized him growing up grand hog day was my favorite movie of all time i watched it 700 times in ghostbusters all you know everything i was kind of intimidated by him and he is very quirky and charged and eccentric and so it was hard for me to totally grasp and have perspective on what our dynamic was supposed to be.

[477] And because the script was very loose also, I think it was only like 75 pages.

[478] And so it was, I didn't know what it was going to be.

[479] It was a little disorienting.

[480] And I was also far away from home and my high school boyfriend at the time.

[481] Were you staying at the Park Hyatt?

[482] Yeah, my high school boy.

[483] I was staying at the Park Hyatt.

[484] What's this poor kid doing?

[485] If I meant fucking, if I'm back in New York and my 17 -year -old girlfriends with Bill Murray in Japan and.

[486] I got to go to math class now.

[487] Yes, you've got to be a confident motherfucker to navigate that.

[488] It was tough.

[489] I think everybody was very much in awe of Bill.

[490] That kind of affected the experience a bit.

[491] But I didn't know what the movie was going to be if it would work.

[492] It was kind of a miracle.

[493] Obviously, Sophia was seeing it.

[494] Lance Accord, our incredible DP, was capturing it.

[495] But a lot of our crew was not English speaking, so, like, the communication was difficult.

[496] It mirrored the liquor commercial he was filming sometimes.

[497] Not exactly, but there was definitely, like, lost in translation moments.

[498] It was just not like any job I'd ever done before.

[499] And I'd been working at that point for 10 years.

[500] I can't remember the first time I saw it may have been at, like, the Venice Film Festival where we premiered it.

[501] I've thought, oh, this makes sense.

[502] So that's working.

[503] Yeah, it's so ethereal and weird and has a vibe and a texture and feels like a vinyl album.

[504] I would be so pumped if I saw myself in that thing.

[505] Yeah, it's hard to have perspective on work sometimes, like, right in the moment.

[506] I think now that I'm older, I can see the shape of things better.

[507] I was thinking you got labeled 15 going on 30 early.

[508] And I can imagine that being this really wild blessing and then this really weird curse in some way.

[509] And it comes to your skin care line because you were talking about a makeup artist when you were young covering up a pimple and being like, oh, it's Mount Vesuvius.

[510] Yeah.

[511] And I can see where if you're that makeup artist, you're like, this scale's 30.

[512] Like she's so cool.

[513] She knows all the references from the old.

[514] shit.

[515] She's like an old soul.

[516] She's mature enough for me to make a joke about this.

[517] And yet, you're 15 years old and you can't be 30 and 15.

[518] And I just wonder, do you think at times people overestimated how old you were and assumed you might understand more than you knew?

[519] And how much were you trying to deliver on that?

[520] You know, I grew up in Manhattan and I spent a lot of time around adults because of my work and I remember being seven and working on my first movie, which was a Rob Reiner movie called North.

[521] Yeah.

[522] And I remember looking around, I'd made some sort of joke or whatever and everybody laughed and I thought this is excellent.

[523] I have a hundred adults laughing at me. Fuck, yeah, that's the dream.

[524] Yeah, this is such a good gig.

[525] And I spent a lot of time in that environment.

[526] Definitely was in different situations that were not.

[527] age appropriate.

[528] Luckily, my mom was really good about protecting me from a lot of that stuff, but you can't do it for everything.

[529] She can't change the whole world.

[530] No, and I can't be on every moment in every conversation or whatever, although she was very, very good about that.

[531] I wasn't going to nightclubs at seven.

[532] I probably would have loved to, but she was a great mom and took care of me in that way.

[533] Things like that makeup artist, and I still see him too, it's still like, I'm like, I don't like you.

[534] I still don't like you.

[535] But, You know, I mean, he probably didn't know what they, you know, whatever.

[536] He was also probably like 25.

[537] Well, makeup bars get away with, they get to be catty at times.

[538] What an asshole.

[539] They get to be cat to a 12, 13 year old kid.

[540] Also, please don't say it to anyone of any age because nobody likes having pimples.

[541] Mount Vosuvius.

[542] Yeah, but that guy still sucks.

[543] Whatever.

[544] I'm not making any excuses for me. He's fucking sucks.

[545] Anyway, but my whole, like, journey started then because growing up, I did have acne and was in the public eye making movies.

[546] And when you're self -conscious about the way that you look in that, wait, it's tough.

[547] There were days getting ready for high school and I would have a very large pimple on my already large nose.

[548] And I would think, you can't do this.

[549] You can't possibly go to that building with those thousand kids so they can all see this.

[550] You feel so awful.

[551] I can't imagine if I was on my way to be immortalized on film.

[552] People applying makeup and figuring out like how to light it and you're just like, oh my God, you're like lighting around this stuff.

[553] You know, and I was like using all this, of course, like really active stripping.

[554] Like, I Everything.

[555] My skin was probably just raw.

[556] There was paint thinner.

[557] Let's just tear your face off.

[558] Yeah.

[559] Like burning.

[560] But at that point, you're ready to.

[561] I had horrible, horrible skin.

[562] And so I'm so sensitive.

[563] Even literally last night, I'm hyper aware of how my skin is going to react.

[564] And I was looking in the mirror and I was like, saw something starting to bubble up.

[565] I think it was just a hive because it's gone today.

[566] But I was like, well, here we go.

[567] Okay.

[568] I guess I'll die.

[569] My life has been good.

[570] I'll be dead now, and that's fine.

[571] I honestly did that for so long, just stripped away, tried everything, like every dietary, change your diet, use this cream.

[572] Everything except going on Roacutane.

[573] Finally, at some point, I was like, all right, I got to just stop touching my feet and just wash my skin and hydrate my skin.

[574] I finally kind of leaned into using moisture reluctantly because I was like, if I use this stuff, then it's going to break out again.

[575] Because I was so in the mindset of, like, drying out my face all the time.

[576] And that's actually how this whole outset was born.

[577] I started using drugstore brands and stuff that were gentle.

[578] And my skin started clearing and my skin looked healthier.

[579] And I felt more confident.

[580] And I was like, there has to be some place to get like an elevated kind of version of this that feels like it's transparent and not full of gasoline, which when I pulled everything out of what I was using, it was full of all that stuff.

[581] Was it influenced at all by Paris?

[582] Did you live in Paris?

[583] No, but I stayed at Bradley's house a few times.

[584] Oh, that's cool.

[585] Which you lived right next door.

[586] Yes.

[587] And I had all these fantasies that I would, like, see you in a window and I would wave.

[588] Kind of like, Monica always thought she's going to bump into Matt Damon and Ben Affleck on camping trips in Georgia.

[589] Because they could be in the tent, we don't know.

[590] Wait, why did you think that?

[591] Because I wanted it so bad.

[592] I loved them.

[593] And she thought, God, what if they're camping here, too?

[594] Completely insane fantasies.

[595] But you're just so in love of the person.

[596] You're like, this could happen to me. Wait a minute.

[597] So you were on a. camping trip in Georgia, and you heard they were there?

[598] No, no, no. Didn't even need that.

[599] This is all in my head.

[600] She's like in the 10th grade, okay?

[601] Yeah.

[602] That's the time frame.

[603] Yeah, and I was in love with them.

[604] So I lived in fantasy.

[605] Yeah, both.

[606] Which one did you?

[607] Oh.

[608] I test her on this all the time.

[609] At this point, at this point, yes.

[610] But at that time, I did not want to choose because it was like, they're still different, though.

[611] They sure are.

[612] Which is kind of a feather in her cap, I think.

[613] Yeah, it was because of Goodwill Hunting.

[614] I just got so obsessed with that movie.

[615] And I fell in love with them.

[616] Wow, both of them equally in Goodwill hunting.

[617] Yes.

[618] When we interviewed Matt Damon on here.

[619] Yeah, best day of my life.

[620] There's a picture of him kissing her forehead.

[621] In the smile on her face, I could cry right now, just picturing it.

[622] I've known her for nine years and I've never seen this look come off of her.

[623] It will only happen via Matt Damon.

[624] Anyway, I was just so deeply obsessed and living in fantasy.

[625] I mean, like love addiction.

[626] Bad stuff, probably.

[627] And I was camping with my friend and I just would be like, they could be in the tent next they could be and then it would just make me happy to know that they could be and then what would happen then i would like see them the way you'd bump into like that's just like you're like lived in it so similarly anytime i've stayed at cooper's i just thought i might see you in the window it actually is plausible because you could probably see me from his window yeah but this fantasy about ben affleck and matt demon is but look what happened i planted the seed and then he hugged and kissed her forehead oh he was He's a very tender man. So nice.

[628] But back to being at Cooper's, there was some gal visiting who was a model, and she said to me, oh, I always go and get this drugstore brand moisturizer.

[629] It's just off the fucking shelf.

[630] And this is a model.

[631] This is her job.

[632] The French pharmacy thing is, that's a real thing.

[633] She turned me onto it.

[634] So I went and I got myself some bottles of this.

[635] Well, it's not bottles.

[636] It's like a nice aluminum kind of thing you squirt.

[637] It was a tube.

[638] And I brought some home for Kristen.

[639] She liked it.

[640] Yeah.

[641] And it couldn't be simpler.

[642] It is very simple.

[643] So I have a company called.

[644] outset and we've eliminated 2 ,700 harmful ingredients.

[645] We are like one of the cleanest brands that are available in the industry, which has been challenging, but it's been pretty cool.

[646] To do something that's clean and effective is kind of incredible because you really see transformative skin.

[647] Growing up, you kind of buy into technology is going to make everything better.

[648] We have a diaper company that's all natural stuff, right?

[649] And there's a couple products we have where I put it on, in fact, the one I was raving about the other day, it's everything bomb.

[650] And I said to Kristen, this has to have petroleum and it's too fucking good.

[651] And it doesn't have anything in it.

[652] I'm shocked because I'm even cynical of our own thing.

[653] I'm like, there's no way it can work this good with this little amount of stuff in.

[654] I mean, it has a lot of stuff probably, but just not mineral oil and gasoline.

[655] There's definitely tech behind it.

[656] The thing is, our line's not natural, because like natural products also can be really irritating.

[657] Sure.

[658] There's a balance.

[659] There's definitely a lot of technology that goes into making the bomb that you're talking about from your brand.

[660] But it just is being mindful of ingredients that are harmful for you, harmful for the planet.

[661] Again, it's a challenge to do it because it's easier to do it the other way.

[662] Yes.

[663] And obviously, yes, we have the same thing.

[664] You can't make adhesive on a diaper without using something inorganic.

[665] Is your line clean?

[666] What's the promise that you make?

[667] It gets filthy.

[668] Yeah, it's definitely.

[669] It literally becomes full.

[670] Of the million skews, 80 % of them are all organic.

[671] So them are because they don't function without it.

[672] To do no tier in babies shampoo, you have to have an ingredient that's not natural.

[673] Or your baby's eyes will be on fire and be red and you'll be upset.

[674] So you end up getting confronted with realities.

[675] You probably know more now about this than you could have ever guessed.

[676] It's been a real journey.

[677] Having a company is crazy.

[678] At the beginning, you have an idea and it's like, how do you do this?

[679] And initially, the people that I was working with at the time were like, you can license your name and have somebody else operate it and they'll build it for you and they'll know how to produce it and store it and distribute it and all that stuff.

[680] And so I did meet with a lot of those people and I learned a lot, but I'm slightly a control freak and I didn't want to end up working for someone.

[681] I don't know.

[682] I just felt like I wanted to try to do it on my own.

[683] It took five years and it's been crazy to do because for three years I did product development and brand ideas work.

[684] I was just cherry picking and figuring it out and meeting with like larger corporations and figuring out if I can incubate inside a bigger corporation and all that stuff.

[685] And then it just became clear to me through the whole process.

[686] I was like, I need to find my person.

[687] I have a production company, my producing partner.

[688] He's like my better half right arm.

[689] I was like, I need that person in this venture.

[690] And so that's how I met my co -founding partner, Kate Foster, I've asked a couple of friends that are in the industry and are in the kind of VC world.

[691] Kate's name kept coming up as somebody that was a person I should talk to, at least.

[692] We ended up meeting and then dating for a while, and that's how it started.

[693] Stay tuned for more armchair expert, if you dare.

[694] What's up, guys?

[695] It's your girl Kiki, and my podcast is back with a new season, and let me tell you, it's too good.

[696] and I'm diving into the brains of entertainment's best and brightest, okay?

[697] Every episode, I bring on a friend and have a real conversation.

[698] And I don't mean just friends.

[699] I mean the likes of Amy Poehler, Kel Mitchell, Vivica Fox, the list goes on.

[700] So follow, watch, and listen to Baby.

[701] This is Kiki Palmer on the Wondery app or wherever you get your podcast.

[702] We've all been there.

[703] Turning to the internet to self -diagnose our inexplicable pains, debilitating body aches, sudden fevers, and strange rashes.

[704] Though our minds tend to spiral to worst -case scenarios, it's usually nothing, but for an unlucky few, these unsuspecting symptoms can start the clock ticking on a terrifying medical mystery.

[705] Like the unexplainable death of a retired firefighter, whose body was found at home by his son, except it looked like he had been cremated, or the time when an entire town started jumping from buildings and seeing tigers on their ceilings.

[706] Hey listeners, it's Mr. Ballin here, and I'm here to tell you about my podcast.

[707] It's called Mr. Ballin's Medical Mysteries.

[708] Each terrifying true story will be sure to keep you up at night.

[709] Follow Mr. Ballin's Medical Mysteries wherever you get your podcasts.

[710] Prime members can listen early and ad -free on Amazon Music.

[711] Now, your desire to not just be involved with some other existing company, are you allergic to being placated?

[712] I'm a woman, so I'm used to that.

[713] And I think it's always bothered me. But women, I think, of a certain generation, or at least I think of our generation, I have this theory that we're kind of in between the two worlds.

[714] It's like, we had our mothers who were like, use whatever you can to kind of get the thing you need.

[715] Get your foot in the door.

[716] Use your feminine wiles.

[717] Use your sexuality.

[718] And then there's our generation, I think, that's done that.

[719] And then also been like, this doesn't feel right.

[720] There's got to be some other way.

[721] And then there's like the younger generation women that are 15.

[722] years younger than me, who are like, you don't have to take any of that crap, no pandering.

[723] There's this system that's completely rejected.

[724] It's an interesting place to be in the in -between of, I think.

[725] I've watched a few documentaries, like one on Britney Spears, one on Paris Hilton, and realizing that in my lifetime, I would watch late -night talk shows, and they would call Monica Lewinsky a fat slut, like just openly in the monologue.

[726] and they'd make fun of someone's boobs openly in the monologue.

[727] And you're like, wow, I was around for that.

[728] That would be so shocking and jarring to hear now.

[729] But I have to recognize, oh, well, I very much was swimming in that water for like 30 years, right?

[730] So the person that's 15 years younger than you, they never even saw that on TV.

[731] Like, we're coming out of this very weird thing.

[732] We weren't even aware of that we were in to some degree.

[733] Now it's really stark.

[734] But we were there and it wasn't that stark.

[735] Yeah, people are learning and figuring it out.

[736] Sometimes I think I get frustrated because I feel like the younger generation has no tolerance for that period of time.

[737] That's like the learning curve times.

[738] I don't want to be preaching about it.

[739] But like I've come to this realization that like it's important to understand progress and change when it's really meaningful.

[740] It takes like two steps forward and three steps back and then it gets better and it's worse.

[741] It's not finite.

[742] I think if you don't leave room for people to figure it out, then the actual progress.

[743] progressive change doesn't really happen.

[744] I think the thing that irks me about younger people is looking back with today's lens, with A, the arrogance that they would have somehow been different.

[745] Everyone was a piece of shit.

[746] You would have been one too.

[747] So this notion that they would have known better in 1980, I find a little bit, just maybe arrogant.

[748] That's like one of my triggers about it.

[749] But that's just part of being young, too.

[750] Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[751] You know, you're arrogant when you're young because you're finding your own identity.

[752] And I think you kind of have to be narcissistic when you're young in order to like survive.

[753] And I think you are powerful enough to enact change.

[754] You kind of have to go through that and then you get older and then you become people that we are where you go, well, wait a minute.

[755] These other things are kind of valuable and you sort of have to look back to look forward.

[756] And I probably wasn't thinking that when I was 22, though.

[757] I was probably also thinking how lame is everybody in this generation above me. It's a luxury to be idealistic because you're not living in reality.

[758] You have parents who take care of stuff for you, and you can be like, no, that's bad, that's bad, that's bad, but you're not living and working in the real world yet.

[759] And so once you get in there, then you start seeing, oh, actually, this is real and this is real.

[760] And we can still move forward, but maybe we keep that.

[761] There's a great Malcolm Gladwell revisionist history episode.

[762] It's an episode about Sammy Davis Jr. And how maybe judged he is by today's standards from having been at a Nixon rally or done these different things.

[763] And he makes this great case of like, you have.

[764] have to get realistic about being the first one, the token in any movement, the different concessions you have to make and the compromises you have to make.

[765] And we've witnessed it.

[766] At the same time we were at that nightclub, there were about 600 men following those young women in the most aggressive, assaulty way possible.

[767] Sure.

[768] And it was like standard.

[769] I'd hate that.

[770] But I'm not thinking, well, this is a full on assault, which now, of course, I look at it.

[771] I'm like, well, that's a full on assault.

[772] Yeah.

[773] And it's all changed while we were here.

[774] It's kind of changed.

[775] We live in a patriarchy, and I feel like there's a fundamental reality of the woman's condition that will always, even if those 600 men are not actively aggressive necessarily as much as they would have been a minute ago, it's still fundamentally there.

[776] It's so baked in to our culture and society.

[777] it's hard for me to imagine that ever being not an element.

[778] Also just the physicality of how men and women are.

[779] The dimorphicism.

[780] Yeah.

[781] We're stuck with that.

[782] But it has gotten better.

[783] I agree with you.

[784] Like, okay, so the 600 guys surrounding the woman, that's disappeared.

[785] But it's just a clever force.

[786] It figures out how to come in through the back door.

[787] Oh, whoa.

[788] Coming in through the back door.

[789] I'm making no. Is that an anal?

[790] No. Scarlet made it.

[791] Well, you know.

[792] I didn't go there.

[793] I didn't either.

[794] You're over in the fantasy.

[795] I am.

[796] I'm sorry.

[797] I'm just in the tank here now.

[798] It's like the 600 guys have disappeared, but we've figured out how to butt fuck everyone.

[799] Is that what you thought?

[800] Don't act like that's something you wouldn't say.

[801] Of course I would have.

[802] Okay.

[803] So yesterday I did a podcast.

[804] Somebody else's podcast, Manthinkers.

[805] It was very cool.

[806] It's these two guys.

[807] And it's kind of a cold bear.

[808] Like they're playing these crazy characters, but the whole purpose is to learn about stuff.

[809] And we went to talk about egg freezing, which I just did.

[810] And it's funny because they're playing these really misogynistic men.

[811] And one of the guys kept calling us beautiful over and over again.

[812] And, you know, we're kind of supposed to call them out, I guess.

[813] And I was like, I'm not saying I don't want to hear that.

[814] I do want to hear that.

[815] But then you seem like a, quote, bad feminist for saying, no, I like being called.

[816] Beautiful.

[817] I'm okay with that.

[818] It's almost like we've swung in this other direction where we can't even acknowledge that being called beautiful, it feels good.

[819] I don't know.

[820] You kind of want it when it's appropriate.

[821] When it's appropriate.

[822] Can I man -splain what it is to you guys?

[823] Oh, God.

[824] What no one wants is to have the only value proposition to be acknowledged as your beauty.

[825] That's like a non -starter.

[826] That's no good.

[827] Being recognized as an intellect, as a successful woman, and then on top of it, we're saying you're beautiful.

[828] So I think that's the distinction is like if you're seen as this all -encompassing well -rounded human being with all these great assets one of them being you're beautiful i think when it's in that vein it's totally fine that sounds good to me sounds great right you're a gangster you're a great fucking actor you're powerful beyond belief and you're beautiful i like it yeah okay yeah i'll take it i need to ask you two more questions maybe four marcell's checking it's back to the x Fette, Marcel, take your watch off and flush it down the fucking toilet.

[829] Take your crappy watch.

[830] I want to go back, stick it up your crappy ass.

[831] See?

[832] He says stuff like that.

[833] I want to come back to the 15 and 30 thing.

[834] So we didn't really wrap it up.

[835] And I'm just curious because I loved when people said I was older than my age.

[836] Yeah, all kids like that.

[837] I don't know.

[838] I think some people specifically want to be seen as older.

[839] I happen to be one of those people.

[840] I wanted you to think you could trust me with your car to, drive you when I was 12.

[841] That's something I sought after.

[842] You valued that.

[843] Hugely.

[844] Well, because I had an older brother.

[845] My brother was five years older.

[846] So I guess all I wanted to be is perceived as maybe his age.

[847] That's maybe the kernel of it.

[848] Similarly, did you love that compliment?

[849] Yeah, I think that would be something I would have found flattering.

[850] I got married when I was 23.

[851] So I got married really young.

[852] And by that point, I felt like I was 33.

[853] I'd had a really full life at that point.

[854] And I was having a really hard time.

[855] I was kind of became objectified and pigeonholed in this way where I felt like I wasn't getting offers for work for things that I wanted to do.

[856] But I remember thinking to myself, I was like, I think people think I'm like 40 years old.

[857] It somehow stopped being something that was desirable and something that I was fighting against.

[858] Yeah, yeah.

[859] Now it's like I see younger actors that are in their 20s.

[860] It feels like they're allowed to be all these different things.

[861] Like, they can play all different things.

[862] And, you know, it's another time, too.

[863] We're not even allowed to really Viginal actors anymore, thankfully, right?

[864] Like, people are much more dynamic.

[865] Who's an example, like Zendaya?

[866] Yeah, that's a great example.

[867] Or, like, I worked with Florence Pugh, and she has an incredible career, and she works in all different genres.

[868] You see all these different colors in her paintbox.

[869] Because I think everybody thought I was older than I'd been doing it.

[870] And I've been doing it, for a long time.

[871] And then I got kind of pigeonholed into this weird, hypersexualized thing.

[872] I felt like it was over kind of.

[873] It was like, that's the kind of career you have.

[874] These are the roles you've played.

[875] And I was like, this is it.

[876] And you'll age out of that one.

[877] The runway is not long on that.

[878] And so it was scary at that time.

[879] In a weird way, I was like, is this it?

[880] And I attributed a lot of that to the fact that people thought I was much, much older than I was.

[881] We had Natalie Portman on and she talked kind of a lot about how she was sexualized so young that she really swung in the other direction in her personal life and in work of just like I'm not that because she had no control over that sexuality.

[882] Yeah, I've talked to her about that before.

[883] Yeah.

[884] Because we did a movie called The Other Berlin Girl together and we spent a lot of time talking about all that stuff.

[885] And also it was just exciting.

[886] We didn't know each other really before that and then we worked together really intimately.

[887] She was definitely somebody I really looked up to.

[888] She's a few years old.

[889] I mean, her career was really sensational.

[890] Everything you would want.

[891] Right.

[892] And so, like, we had kind of opposite worlds in a weird way because she was able to go extreme in that other direction.

[893] But she also was saying it kind of fucked her up because she wasn't that person.

[894] She wasn't a prude, buttoned up girl next door.

[895] Well, what we were kind of paralleling it against is no matter how strong a human being is and how centered they are and who they are, if you launch them on a Disney show and they come to fame in their teens on a Disney show where they're not allowed to be sexual at all.

[896] You almost 100 % in time are going to see this huge breakout sexuality.

[897] You see it with all the Disney stars.

[898] Yes.

[899] And then conversely, if you're Natalie Portman, you're 13 and you're in beautiful girls and all these old men are in love with you, you can't resist.

[900] It's like a all or nothing, unfortunately.

[901] Yeah, it's like if you were made sexual, you want to reclaim your privacy.

[902] If you were made non -sexual, you want to reclaim your sexuality.

[903] It's just how it's going to be.

[904] It's hard to imagine somebody that's like hypersexualized, like really, really.

[905] loving into it.

[906] Especially it's like a young.

[907] Or you end up dead.

[908] You're Marilyn Monroe or you're one of these people.

[909] It's not really sustainable, I think.

[910] Like you just burn out.

[911] And that was never a huge part of my actual personality.

[912] I mean, of course, I was young and like enjoying myself and whatever.

[913] Very, very rarely.

[914] Like maybe.

[915] Full moons.

[916] A couple times here.

[917] Back to fuck up on that full moon.

[918] They were bloody.

[919] Okay.

[920] Can I hate you with my third?

[921] movie.

[922] This one may have lasted two weeks is her.

[923] And that movie is really sad.

[924] It is.

[925] Oh, my guy, I could cry just thinking about it.

[926] We're even you shocked.

[927] It's pretty bizarre, and I didn't even know this till today when I was reading about you, but that you were nominated for so many supporting actor awards after being just a voice in that movie.

[928] Like, does that even surprise you?

[929] To me, it's totally warranted, but I imagine when you get a call, hey, will you play the voice on the other end of this thing?

[930] I can't imagine your imagination runs away with you.

[931] Yeah, I didn't really think about that.

[932] Actually, when it was first pitched to me, it was like, can you work a couple of days on this spike thing?

[933] He's trying to work some stuff out with the script.

[934] I was like, okay.

[935] And then I got the script and I called my age and I was like, this is extensive work.

[936] And he was like, well, I don't think so.

[937] He was like, meet with him.

[938] And so I went and met him actually at his apartment.

[939] He lives in New York and I live there too.

[940] And I met him a little bit kind of just like around the Sophia time.

[941] I didn't know him very well.

[942] We were together for, gosh, it was like six hours.

[943] I mean, just identifying different things that were not working in the current script.

[944] And we worked over a year together on kind of rebuilding the structure of the relationship between the two characters because there were pieces that were just not.

[945] I actually was not initially cast.

[946] Another actor, Samantha Morton, did the vocal work for the script that was written.

[947] And I think a spike was editing it.

[948] It's just a tough lightning in a bottle.

[949] Doing the actual work and the recording was so exhaustive.

[950] We recorded that movie in its entirety 40 or 50 times.

[951] Oh my God.

[952] Endless, endless work sessions and with Joaquin and two picture and with Spike.

[953] And he built me this weird little box that was this little vocal box that I would be kind of trapped in like a little broom closet.

[954] And then sometimes like Spike would sit in it with me. So it was the two of us like, and it was so bizarre.

[955] And, you know, you have this headphones on, you can hear every breath and every, like, little type thing.

[956] God, you know what I'm now realizing was what it's shared with loss in translation is, like, you couldn't have known while you're doing it.

[957] Like, is this going to work?

[958] Of course that.

[959] Is this going to work?

[960] You know, you can't.

[961] I'm sure when he was shooting it, it must have been really strange.

[962] Stressful for, I'm sure.

[963] Super stressful.

[964] And then when he was editing it, he was probably like, oh, God.

[965] It's not working.

[966] It was one of the most challenging jobs that I've done.

[967] It was really, really fucking hard because Spike is very demanding.

[968] and it was something that was so tender.

[969] Every single moment had to be very impactful.

[970] And you have nothing else.

[971] You have no blocking to help you.

[972] You don't have a push -in to help you.

[973] You have no camera tricks.

[974] You have the singular instrument of your voice.

[975] We're all used to our stuff.

[976] Like, we got all the stuff we know works or what's up.

[977] Your tricks, your stuff.

[978] And then...

[979] You've got a single tool from the toolbox.

[980] Yeah, it was hard.

[981] So our characters have sex in the film.

[982] You don't want to hear your voice ever, right?

[983] obviously.

[984] You definitely don't want to hear what you sound like having an orgasm.

[985] You definitely don't want to hear what you sound like having like a fake orgasm.

[986] Ew.

[987] Yeah, I know.

[988] It's so gross, right?

[989] You just can't.

[990] I just can't imagine anything more haunting than like a voice.

[991] And being like aware of the timing of it.

[992] Ours was scripted too because Spike's kind of a stickler for the words.

[993] Oh wow.

[994] And the sounds.

[995] And the sounds.

[996] I guess I don't know for the sounds.

[997] But then we're like, I remember we came in that day.

[998] I've become that actor that's like, Let's get dirty.

[999] I have to because otherwise I'll be petrified.

[1000] Joaquin comes in.

[1001] We try to get through one take and he was like losing it.

[1002] He's like, I can't do that.

[1003] He was like angry.

[1004] And like he was like.

[1005] He was probably insecure.

[1006] It was a horrible.

[1007] He already done it.

[1008] He'd done it in person.

[1009] Now he was like with me in this weird theater.

[1010] I'm in this box and he's like staring at me and the lights are low and like Spike is there.

[1011] And I was like it was so bizarre.

[1012] Do you guys have any cocktails or anything?

[1013] I guess a robert can't.

[1014] intoxicated.

[1015] No, we definitely did not have a cocktail.

[1016] We should have had a cocktail.

[1017] Yes, you should have had a couple high balls.

[1018] But I was fine.

[1019] Joaquin was not, he was so upset about it.

[1020] He left the studio.

[1021] Now I'm in this box by myself.

[1022] I'm like, I can't do it alone.

[1023] Like I need him to come back he needed a break.

[1024] He took a break and he came back in.

[1025] He was ready to fuck.

[1026] He was ready to I haven't seen that movie in a long time, but I bet if I watched it, I would be like so mortified.

[1027] You get taken out in that moment.

[1028] It's tough.

[1029] Hearing yourself be sex, he's rough.

[1030] You can barely do it in the moment.

[1031] You got to just go all in and go, I'm going for it.

[1032] Even thinking about it now, it's giving me like a little panic.

[1033] You know what's weird is because I really enjoy the feeling of being embarrassed.

[1034] Now I'm craving.

[1035] I want to do a scene like that.

[1036] Just so I can feel all that rush of embarrassment.

[1037] It'll wake your ass up.

[1038] Being embarrassed, I have the theory, is the most profound feeling.

[1039] Yeah.

[1040] It's the realist because there's no agenda.

[1041] There's no performance.

[1042] It's just like, oh, okay, here we go.

[1043] When you're truly embarrassed, yeah, it's the purest, most present moment you'll ever have.

[1044] Oh, do you do this?

[1045] I'm always urging Monica to do this, and I learned today that you had spent a lot of time in front of the mirror as a kid, as did I. I have a weird hobby, or I embarrass myself in front of the mirror.

[1046] Like, I keep going until something truly, I'm like, oh, God.

[1047] Like, do you do that at all?

[1048] Yeah, I've dabbled in it.

[1049] I've definitely dabbled in it.

[1050] I get that.

[1051] Like you said, it's a powerful real emotion.

[1052] Yeah.

[1053] I kind of like to be able to initiate it.

[1054] Yeah, I get it.

[1055] Yeah.

[1056] Okay, good.

[1057] I'm here for it.

[1058] And I recommend it.

[1059] Wow.

[1060] Okay, good.

[1061] Even more.

[1062] That's a big statement.

[1063] I think it's good to sit in that stuff.

[1064] I do, too.

[1065] I do, because you live.

[1066] You come out on the other side and you're like, okay, I lived through that.

[1067] Definitely.

[1068] It's happened like twice this week on the show where I just embarrassed myself so fucking bad.

[1069] And then it leads to this round of nervous laughing.

[1070] And then the whole thing is just like, I'm feeling.

[1071] parts of my body haven't felt in a while, like, oh, my kneecaps, I can feel them.

[1072] It's a real ride.

[1073] I like it.

[1074] Yeah.

[1075] Okay.

[1076] Now, I've got great curiosity about your father being Danish.

[1077] Alicia Vicander, she's not Danish, but she's Swedish.

[1078] There's a Scandinavian vibe.

[1079] I love it.

[1080] They hate small talk.

[1081] They hate pleasant trees.

[1082] Everything's bullshit.

[1083] There's something about I really like, and I'm drawn to.

[1084] Was that force present in your head?

[1085] Like, is your dad stereotypically Danish?

[1086] Yes.

[1087] My dad is stereotypically Danish.

[1088] I think there's a kind of a mysterious element to the Danes.

[1089] They're very funny and dry and witty and guarded.

[1090] That's how my dad is.

[1091] He's all of those things.

[1092] And they're not like overly emotional.

[1093] No. I mean, he's very affectionate and sweet, but he also like buries everything.

[1094] Yeah, yeah.

[1095] My mother is Jewish and that's like the compolar opposite.

[1096] I was going to say that and it's not my place to say it, but on a spectrum of stereotypes.

[1097] Yeah.

[1098] The Jewish mother and the Danish father, they seem very very.

[1099] Very far apart.

[1100] Yeah, I'm also like, how did these people stay together?

[1101] It wasn't the best combination.

[1102] But I think I'm somewhere in the middle.

[1103] I'm guarded, but I'm also direct.

[1104] And I like to talk about what's going on more now.

[1105] I mean, I've been, like, very terrified, so I'm better at talking about what's going on and, like, addressing those things.

[1106] But I did grow up in a household where there were a lot of secrets and things that were unsaid.

[1107] Right.

[1108] Okay.

[1109] So I would have never known this before today.

[1110] But when I was trying to calculate what ingredients were adding up to the X Factor back some years ago at these nightclubs are in those performances, Danish is a big clue.

[1111] You have a willingness to be still and quiet.

[1112] And it reads to me as crazy confidence to not have to fill every little bubble of air like we do here, Americans.

[1113] I think that was in the recipe.

[1114] You have a calmness and a stillness.

[1115] It's in your acting.

[1116] It's in just who you are.

[1117] And I would have never been able to point out where I thought that came from.

[1118] But I think the Danish part must be part of it.

[1119] Maybe it is a part of it.

[1120] I mean, my dad can be pretty stoic, that's for sure.

[1121] And that's an attractive quality.

[1122] Yeah, I think I have been attracted to it in the past, but then was like...

[1123] In a Freudian way.

[1124] Perhaps in a Freudian way.

[1125] I don't know enough about Freud to tell exactly how...

[1126] I think you know enough to know what I'm saying.

[1127] Maybe.

[1128] Something like that ill. But I...

[1129] I married my mom of it.

[1130] I did that once.

[1131] Yeah, then I eventually probably thought to myself, oh, this person's maybe just being emotionally abused.

[1132] Sure, sure, sure, sure, sure.

[1133] Maybe this stoic thing is not all it's good out to be.

[1134] Okay, so I'm tying that into the outset for two reasons.

[1135] One, there's a choice you made to not have it be Scarlett Johansson's skin care line, right?

[1136] You're distancing yourself just enough so that it's its own thing, which I like.

[1137] I'm going to make a comparison, the Olson twins in the row.

[1138] Definitely something that I thought about because it's genuinely something I'm interested in.

[1139] Yeah.

[1140] And I didn't ever want it to feel like it was some kind of vanity project or like if you want to look like me or a cash grab.

[1141] Cash loss.

[1142] Yeah.

[1143] Whatever the opposite of cash grab is.

[1144] Do you know how to make a small fortune in skin care?

[1145] How?

[1146] Start with a large fortune.

[1147] Oh.

[1148] Oh, it'd be funny if it wasn't true.

[1149] I know it is.

[1150] I don't have that kind of confidence.

[1151] Right.

[1152] No disrespect for the people.

[1153] It totally works too.

[1154] You own it.

[1155] I'm in all the Kardashians, but it's not the thing I could pull off.

[1156] No, that's to be fair.

[1157] Skims doesn't have her name on it.

[1158] And that stuff works great.

[1159] I guess it does because Kim is in Skims.

[1160] Yeah, that's the whole plan.

[1161] Oh, wow.

[1162] You are just figuring this out.

[1163] Skim's Kardashian.

[1164] You didn't know.

[1165] The full name is Skims Kardashian.

[1166] I knew that.

[1167] But you know when you've been with.

[1168] somebody for long enough that you can't remember whether there was your experience or their experience, I can't remember there was me or Colin or both of us at the same time that figured out that Will I am was William.

[1169] Yes, I knew that.

[1170] You're just now telling me that.

[1171] Are you serious?

[1172] I have no idea it's William.

[1173] I thought it was Will I am.

[1174] Right.

[1175] Well, that's what's so cool about it.

[1176] Never.

[1177] Are you being serious right now?

[1178] I'm being dead serious with you.

[1179] Right?

[1180] Isn't that crazy?

[1181] I'm going to hit you with one that I hope you don't know being from New York.

[1182] Arby's.

[1183] You know Arby's?

[1184] Yeah.

[1185] We have the meat.

[1186] Boom.

[1187] But R. B's, R. B's, roast beef.

[1188] Isn't that one so cool?

[1189] Are you fucked up right now?

[1190] I am.

[1191] You're reeling, right?

[1192] You're going back in your head.

[1193] Every time you've seen that Arby's cowboy hat, you've talked about Arby's.

[1194] You know what's really messed up about it?

[1195] It's Arby's, but it should be RB's.

[1196] Well, it is.

[1197] It's phonetically spelled Arbys.

[1198] No, but I mean the intonation, like we say Arbys, but it should be RB's.

[1199] Yeah.

[1200] There's a very tiny margin between what you're saying.

[1201] I'm not here.

[1202] I know you do.

[1203] And if you were fucking Spike Jones, you would hear it.

[1204] Kristen would.

[1205] You also are a singer.

[1206] But I'm a simpleton, a Philistine, a lay person.

[1207] And what you said sounded the same both ways.

[1208] It's not the same.

[1209] And your listeners will hear it.

[1210] And they will know it.

[1211] Two percent of the listeners will absolutely agree with you.

[1212] And the other 90 percent.

[1213] And one of them will be Spike Jones.

[1214] I wanted to bring up the Danish thing because it actually does tie into outset because the aesthetic of it is very, very, very.

[1215] minimalist.

[1216] It is.

[1217] Yeah, it's very minimalist and clean and we sort of leaned on that with the color play with like the white and blue.

[1218] My dad was an architect and I grew up with that.

[1219] My dad was very minimal in everything, although he himself somehow didn't practice that in his own life strangely.

[1220] Not to say he didn't practice minimalism, but I was like for someone that is so minimalistic in their way of thinking in certain ways he was also like kind of messy like how can you just live with all this clothing on the floor but this is the old thing where the house cleaners house is dirty the mechanics car is broken what's that all about because you fucking do it all day at work yeah and then you're like I'm done I was a car prepper for 14 years my car was always fucking filthy the last thing I was going to do on my free time is wash another car when I have washed cars all day I feel like that's different though than if it's like your passion that it's different like okay Obviously, if you like iron shorts all day for a living, you might want to not, like, go home and iron a million shirts.

[1221] It may shock you that washing cars was not my passion, so that makes sense.

[1222] But even if your passion is also your work, like if you're lucky enough, like we all are, it is still work, ultimately, just to burst everyone's bubbles out in the world.

[1223] If you make your passion, your job, if you're lucky enough, it's still a job.

[1224] There's going to be parts to it that suck.

[1225] There's going to be parts that are great.

[1226] I mean, I don't want people to think, like, if you get to do your passion, You've got to be just ultimately grateful forever and everything's perfect.

[1227] No, I have friends of mine that are designers.

[1228] And when you go to their house, it's all really beautifully done or whatever.

[1229] But then other people, I think it's particularly if you do something that's aesthetic, it's surprising when the person's aesthetic doesn't fall yet.

[1230] It's incongruous.

[1231] Yeah, it's incongruous.

[1232] I say it incongruous.

[1233] Incongruous.

[1234] Incongruous.

[1235] But psychologists often have the most fucked up children.

[1236] I think that's what we could say, to sum it all up.

[1237] but despite all that your aesthetic is very clean and it's very beautiful and you use cornflower blue which is a nice nice blue it's a good creola color we're going to end on this we had your husband colon on do you know this yes a while ago was a while ago when his book came out and what attracted me most to him his sparkling blue eyes those got me once I was talking to him but I was unaware of them until I was talking to him I personally enjoy nothing as much as shitting your pants stories back to the embarrassment thing when someone shits their pants everything you plan for in life everything you're trying to project who you are that's all out the window you're just an animal now in a very dangerous situation and there's something about it that's so pure you're an animal wearing pants with shit in me when i first met colin you know i like to get all that stuff out of the way let's just talk about this we're going to be spending a lot of time together like i don't want to be uncomfortable with this subject whatever he was like you mean yeah I mean, like, you shit your pants.

[1238] I was like, wait, you've shit your pants?

[1239] He was like, I mean, yeah.

[1240] I said, well, when was the last time you shoot your pants?

[1241] He was like, um, like six months ago?

[1242] I was like, wait a minute.

[1243] As an adult, you have shit your pants, like enough to be like, oh, yeah, we're talking about bathroom talk, shitting your pants.

[1244] Standard.

[1245] It was like the first thing.

[1246] It wasn't like, oh, I have a dairy intolerance or like, whatever you may say.

[1247] This was not that.

[1248] This was just like, oh, yeah, we're going to talk about how we shit our pants all the time.

[1249] I was like, well, how many times.

[1250] have you shit your pants.

[1251] I was like, I don't know if I've ever actually gone all the way through shooting my pants.

[1252] And he said, probably a couple times a year.

[1253] I was like, you have a problem.

[1254] I was like, but there's something deeper going on here, which is like, you're one of those kids that is enjoying the moment so much that they just poop their pants.

[1255] I was like, is that the person that you're so enthusiastic?

[1256] Or myopic and the thing they're enjoying that they totally weed out all other stimuli.

[1257] Oh, wow, like an Einstein type.

[1258] Yes.

[1259] Yes.

[1260] But then what we realize is that, no, I think he just overestimates.

[1261] He's overconfident.

[1262] A lot of men are.

[1263] So we have once a month we do this show.

[1264] Well, we do it every Friday, Armchair to Anonymous.

[1265] And then we hear people's real stories.

[1266] Once a month, we do pants shitting.

[1267] It may not surprise you.

[1268] So it really lines up along gender lines, which is men are shitting their pants at like 40x the rate that women are.

[1269] But strangely, women pee their pants.

[1270] You probably have a pee your pants story, right?

[1271] Yeah, a little bit.

[1272] But also I've had two kids.

[1273] But all I'm saying is most women have a story about peeing their pants, and most women have a few stories about peeing their pants.

[1274] And most men have a story about pooping their pants and no stories about peeing their pants.

[1275] That just on its surface is interesting to me. I think men can hold their urine longer.

[1276] Like their bladder.

[1277] But why?

[1278] I think it's just part of your makeup.

[1279] We have bigger bladders.

[1280] Monica was suggesting because the penis is involved.

[1281] I'm like, I don't think that extra few inches of urethra is helping.

[1282] I bet it's like a hunter -gatherer that goes back further.

[1283] That's what I'm going to say.

[1284] It's evolutionary.

[1285] I believe.

[1286] The thing is we can't compare peeing because you do have a penis and it's different, but we can compare pooping because everyone has the same infrastructure.

[1287] They do not.

[1288] I've tried to explain this to you before and you're going to make me do it again.

[1289] Your ovaries distended down the body and hang out of us.

[1290] So our ovaries are hanging out.

[1291] So we have this weird hole here.

[1292] That's different.

[1293] We have a prostate.

[1294] You guys don't have that.

[1295] That's not part of your pooping though.

[1296] It is.

[1297] Your prostate's in your butt hole.

[1298] Like when they check your prostate, they're going in your butt hole.

[1299] part of your digestive tract it's not but you've got this weird muscle in there that's complicating that i'm only pointing out the differences we have two anatomical differences right there the distended ovaries becoming testicles and the prostate maybe i don't cannot imagine though that this shitting your pants thing has anything to do with your prostate i think like all things in life it's nurture and nature you guys need a proctologist oh that's really true and then they can explain to you whether it's physical or whether it's psychological yeah i think it's psychological personally what do you think Marcel I don't want to get into it how many stories do you have of shitting yourself I'm gonna guess that Marcel has shit himself lifetime 20 no like maybe twice no no I'm gonna say zero yeah Marcel's very put together no I know he's always smells wonderful he's very clean but he is a foodie he drinks these are all danger zones some dangerous situation.

[1300] I'm sorry.

[1301] I think it's mental.

[1302] Those things definitely contribute to whether you have the feeling like you're going to shit your pants.

[1303] But the act of shitting your pants of being like, I'm not planning this out what, like the control I think is psychological.

[1304] I don't think it's a physical thing.

[1305] Monica thinks it's like male entitlement.

[1306] I do.

[1307] arrogance.

[1308] This fart feels dicey, but I'm going to go for it.

[1309] That's her take away.

[1310] And girls don't do that as much.

[1311] I'm not saying that's bad or good, but we do live in a society where women fart less in public than men do.

[1312] We can agree on that, right?

[1313] Scarlett, and I recommend this?

[1314] This is part of the women's condition we were talking about.

[1315] Exactly.

[1316] I want to make a recommendation to you, and you may already employ this technique, but Kristen and I, when we fly in an airplane and we're next to each other, she farts as much as she can without any concern because she knows everyone will think it's me. There's not one human that's going to look at us two sitting there, smell something and think, I bet it's her.

[1317] Right.

[1318] It's also part of the women's condition.

[1319] You have that same freedom with Colin, and I hope you use it whenever it's necessary.

[1320] I'm going to take that to heart.

[1321] Good.

[1322] I was hoping you'd walk with at least one tidbit you might apply in real life.

[1323] Scarlett, this has been a long time coming.

[1324] I've been looking forward to forever.

[1325] We've been driving Marcel nuts for four years to try to get you on.

[1326] It's been a blast.

[1327] One thing I do want to say, and this is not to say that I didn't think you were wildly successful, but also this blew my mind.

[1328] Do you know Scarlett's the highest grossing box office star in the history of film?

[1329] It did not know that.

[1330] That's not true.

[1331] You have grossed 14 .3 billion worldwide.

[1332] You're the highest grossing box office star of all time.

[1333] Avengers, Black Widow.

[1334] It's got to be Sam Jackson.

[1335] It always was Sam Jackson.

[1336] That's always what I heard.

[1337] Sam Jackson.

[1338] I'm sure.

[1339] Let's still be him.

[1340] Wow.

[1341] All right.

[1342] Well, then sue the internet.

[1343] 14 .3 billion.

[1344] That's bonkers.

[1345] That's a lot of money.

[1346] I know.

[1347] Don't you feel like you should have 10 % of that money?

[1348] Yes.

[1349] You should have $1 .4 billion.

[1350] Marcel, is she worth $1 .4 billion?

[1351] Absolutely.

[1352] I do.

[1353] Show me the money.

[1354] You won a Tony, you won a BAFTA.

[1355] You've been nominated twice for two Academy Awards.

[1356] You've won five Golden Globe Awards.

[1357] You may or may not be the highest grossing.

[1358] I've never won a Golden Globe Award.

[1359] You've been nominated five times.

[1360] I do be your new bubble says, I'm not afraid to lie on your behalf.

[1361] He's coming for you.

[1362] Marcel, if you ever want to retire, hand me the baton.

[1363] I'd love to represent you.

[1364] I love that Marcel just handed me off to you.

[1365] He was like, okay, great.

[1366] Go ahead.

[1367] I'm out of here.

[1368] 20 years.

[1369] I'm done and dusted.

[1370] Finally.

[1371] Well, I adore you.

[1372] Thanks so much for coming in person.

[1373] Thanks for having me. I hope everyone slathers the outset all over their face and your arms.

[1374] Put some cream on.

[1375] The eye cream is fantastic.

[1376] There's a cleanser.

[1377] There is a prep.

[1378] There's a serum.

[1379] There's a moiserizer.

[1380] There's a night cream and an eye cream, which we found out your husband uses extensively.

[1381] He was embarrassed about it and still has a little bit of a chip on a show.

[1382] older about it.

[1383] Okay.

[1384] Well, hopefully it'll get even and shit himself somewhere where you guys are in a pickle.

[1385] Unfortunately, that doesn't count.

[1386] All right, Scarlett, thank you so much.

[1387] Marcel, thanks for joining us.

[1388] We love you.

[1389] And good luck with the outset.

[1390] Thank you.

[1391] Thank you guys very much for having me on this very comfortable armchair slash couch at the armchair expert.

[1392] Feel free to nap.

[1393] You should be our voice.

[1394] We might sample that and just exploit you, right?

[1395] Reluously.

[1396] Use you in all of our marketing materials.

[1397] to town.

[1398] Fuck it.

[1399] Let's party.

[1400] Stay tuned for more armchair expert, if you dare.

[1401] And now my favorite part of the show, the fact check with my soulmate Monica Padman.

[1402] Happy birthday.

[1403] Happy birthday to you.

[1404] It's your birthday.

[1405] It is?

[1406] This is our 500th episode.

[1407] Oh, this is the fact check for it.

[1408] Wabi, I rarely say this.

[1409] I'm a little loud in my own head.

[1410] Oh, it's because Monica was sitting there And she's a little quiet Oh, right, that makes sense Okay, that's the right level You should do like, you know Wobby, focus polars, movies, and shows They have the wheel they spin And then they put a piece of tape Where the person's gonna land Yeah, I know where you guys go Are we marked or you just memorize the number?

[1411] I'd like a little piece of tape so you can do it really quick Oh wow Yeah, rack focus, rack focus my angle i don't know that the tape would help for where yours goes back to okay we'd have to maybe put it on angle optical illusion wow bob's your uncle some mirrors maybe anyway it's your birthday it's your birthday it's the addict's birthday half a century it's wabi bob's birthday we did it we did it we turned 500 we turn 500 it's so rare so rare very few people make it to 500 I know um I'm really proud of us.

[1412] I'm really proud of you and you.

[1413] I'm proud of you.

[1414] I'm proud of you guys too.

[1415] So fun.

[1416] What a ride.

[1417] What a ride.

[1418] It is the old, not to hang it on some corny proverb, but I will say TGIF.

[1419] I'll say TGIF.

[1420] I'll say TGIF.

[1421] I'll say TGIM.

[1422] What do they say?

[1423] The journey to the top of a mountain starts with one step or something like that.

[1424] What's the old proverb?

[1425] Sisyphysian.

[1426] Sisyphysian task satisfies her as liberal arts education.

[1427] What I'm saying is, I don't think you or I could have thought, well, we're going to go do 500.

[1428] A, that'd be overwhelming.

[1429] B, who's going to be on this show?

[1430] That's right.

[1431] Or the same nine people, 100 times apiece.

[1432] But it is kind of shocking, like one episode at a time.

[1433] There's some, you know, I guess that's what I'm trying to do that.

[1434] There is a takeaway there.

[1435] Just don't know how to articulate.

[1436] But we've stopped learning how to speak.

[1437] speak over the past 500 episodes.

[1438] We used everything up in the tank.

[1439] But, yeah, I guess I'm just overwhelmed with the notion that we have done so many.

[1440] Me too.

[1441] And yet it did not feel like so many at all.

[1442] It's hard to believe there's even that many.

[1443] I agree.

[1444] Most have been this year.

[1445] Okay.

[1446] No, I'm kidding.

[1447] Don't ruin it.

[1448] We did a lot.

[1449] I'm just saying we've really put the pedal on the metal this year.

[1450] You're right.

[1451] We'll be celebrating our thousands in six months.

[1452] I guess I see what you're saying.

[1453] It's ramping up exponentially.

[1454] Yes.

[1455] But I do think when I was with Kimmel this summer, I wish I could remember the number, but I think it was 20 ,000 or something like that.

[1456] The episodes he's done?

[1457] Yeah.

[1458] There was, it was, what is it, Rob?

[1459] It can't be that many.

[1460] It was so many thousands.

[1461] I thought, oh, my God.

[1462] How is he not in the grave?

[1463] Really?

[1464] It's just a five a week for decades.

[1465] Wow.

[1466] Not decades, but over a decade.

[1467] Almost 2 ,700.

[1468] 2700 of Jimmy Kim alive.

[1469] Okay, that's a lot different.

[1470] Yeah, I blew that.

[1471] Your fast math skills are also deteriorating.

[1472] Yeah, yeah.

[1473] Well, I'm getting older right in front of everyone's eyes.

[1474] You're getting younger.

[1475] I'm getting younger.

[1476] In the heart and spirit.

[1477] Yeah.

[1478] Can I tell you something?

[1479] Yes.

[1480] That's been one week exactly.

[1481] Since?

[1482] Since I got touched by the Lord.

[1483] Oh.

[1484] By the unhoused.

[1485] And any other run -ins?

[1486] No. Like, that's a new marker in my life, you know?

[1487] Days in between light assaults.

[1488] Yeah.

[1489] Yeah.

[1490] I wouldn't even, I don't, I can't call it an assault.

[1491] No, that's why I said light.

[1492] Yeah.

[1493] Flirty assault?

[1494] No, it was not flirty.

[1495] Well, I mean, from his point of view, there was a very light touch.

[1496] I don't know what he was thinking.

[1497] Maybe he thought he was in a steamy shower and was riding on the glass in the steam.

[1498] Oh, my God.

[1499] Because when you described it, it felt like that's kind of the pressure he went across your back.

[1500] It's trying to make a straight line.

[1501] It's like, remember that game you'd play or you put your arm out?

[1502] And then you have somebody.

[1503] You have your eyes closed.

[1504] You have your eyes closed.

[1505] Oh, wow.

[1506] And then you have somebody go really slowly with their finger all the way up your arm.

[1507] And you're supposed to say, stop when it hits.

[1508] When you think it's in the crook of your.

[1509] The crease.

[1510] The crease.

[1511] And you're always about seven inches short.

[1512] Yeah, it's such a fun game.

[1513] I know.

[1514] And even when you try to out, like, I'd be like, okay, well, here's the thing.

[1515] I know how this works.

[1516] I always say stop, three inches shy.

[1517] So I'm going to go way beyond.

[1518] I'm going to wait until I feel them up on my bicep.

[1519] Yeah.

[1520] And even then, you know, at best I've gotten them in the crook.

[1521] Should we play it right now?

[1522] We can play it.

[1523] Okay.

[1524] Real time?

[1525] Okay, hold on.

[1526] It's like, are you nervous?

[1527] What's that?

[1528] Oh, Rob.

[1529] That sounds.

[1530] like a gross game.

[1531] Okay, you're ready?

[1532] It wasn't great.

[1533] Okay, I'm ready.

[1534] I was so light.

[1535] Like a homeless man. Scared.

[1536] Liz.

[1537] No. No, that's scared me. You can't say Liz when you're lightly touching me. Stop.

[1538] Well, yeah.

[1539] Were you cheating?

[1540] No, I wasn't.

[1541] I wasn't.

[1542] Cheating in that you did think I was in your crook, but you're like, I'm not gonna say it.

[1543] Yeah, like what you just like.

[1544] Oh, okay, okay.

[1545] But had you, had you, done it when you thought you were going to do it would have been earlier yeah i have a pretend crease uh -huh uh right here okay so i thought it then but i kept going and i won and you won well that was fun man this show's gone off the rails it has well it's like someone said you guys are scraping the bottom of the barrel for your content so we commented today on the poop post no yeah yeah yeah i blocked them don't worry also also what does that even mean it means they don't like poop oh here's an interesting thing thought about it this morning a bunch there was very few there were some people that were like enough poop no much yeah poop i think it's great if you don't like any poop stories yeah what i don't relate to is i don't like something so i want other people to not like it sure people love fish god do they love it eating flaky fish cooked fish you in particular smelling cooking it, yes, ruining your apartment with it.

[1546] There's got to be really good fish webs, Instagram accounts, people like, like Trager grills, right?

[1547] Like if you like meat being cooked, you follow Trigger grills, you're going to see all these beautiful cuts of meat get smoked and then they cut them.

[1548] It's very sexual.

[1549] Surely that exists for fish.

[1550] I don't know about it, but it must.

[1551] Yeah.

[1552] If I started trolling those pages, like, fish is absolutely disgusting and it stinks.

[1553] Yeah, I'd be upset.

[1554] What am I doing?

[1555] Those people love fish.

[1556] Don't yuck my, yeah, don't yuck you're no. Maybe we did poop too close to each other.

[1557] We only do it once a month.

[1558] We skipped it this next month.

[1559] That's right.

[1560] We don't even have it next month.

[1561] Oh, poopless month.

[1562] Aaron, this could have only meant one thing.

[1563] Aaron wrote, you need to do a story about people pooping their pants while driving.

[1564] Which I could have only interpreted as.

[1565] he clearly just pooped his pants while driving.

[1566] That has to be what that meant, right?

[1567] Well, that's really interesting because two things.

[1568] One, I think that's one of the most common places, too, because you're hurrying home.

[1569] Yep, you're in route to the back room.

[1570] Yeah.

[1571] And so I think that's common.

[1572] Also, Nick Kroll, old friend of the pod, probably episode 19.

[1573] Yeah.

[1574] He has a new special out.

[1575] Did you watch it?

[1576] I did.

[1577] I really liked it.

[1578] Okay.

[1579] Yes, I liked it a lot.

[1580] actually.

[1581] But he talks about poop a few times and there's a poop pants story in the car.

[1582] Oh, there is.

[1583] The only problem with pooty in the car, low stakes.

[1584] What makes any of these stories great is the second and third parties involved, the stress of trying to hide it.

[1585] When you're in your car, I mean, truly, who cares?

[1586] Other than, I hope this isn't in my seat.

[1587] I mean, you could have people in your car.

[1588] Yes, that's rough.

[1589] And what are you going to pull over and act like you?

[1590] Well, I had that, actually.

[1591] My most recent one, if you recall, was I was taking the girls to go see Aunt T .T. I just said, Aunt T, T, T. I don't say that.

[1592] And T .T. You also don't even, you don't say and.

[1593] I don't.

[1594] But I wanted the listeners to know, I was taking them to see my sister Carly play softball.

[1595] Yeah.

[1596] I had to pee so bad.

[1597] Yes.

[1598] And then I pulled over in an alley right before we got to the park.

[1599] And I was peeing in an alley.

[1600] and I farted all I was peeing and then oopsies.

[1601] So I needed to like clean myself in the alley.

[1602] And right when I started that process, a woman in her backyard started screaming, what are you doing?

[1603] Get out of there.

[1604] What are you doing?

[1605] Well, and to be fair, you had your pants down and you were cleaning a poop.

[1606] Yes.

[1607] In her backyard.

[1608] Yeah.

[1609] Two things.

[1610] She had the moral high ground for sure.

[1611] Okay.

[1612] Yeah.

[1613] Second thing, she was on me. Like the second I was in that alley, she was out of her house.

[1614] So additionally, which is also true, is like, you're not cut out to live on an alley.

[1615] If you're, like, responding and finding out what everything that's happening in alley, an alley's not the right backyard for you.

[1616] She was too vigilant to live on an alley.

[1617] Sometimes in Los Angeles, real estate is tricky.

[1618] It is.

[1619] You don't always get to pick if you're in an alley or not.

[1620] No. I mean, I kind of, my apartment, there's a little alley.

[1621] Would you call it that?

[1622] You have a footpath.

[1623] And you haven't caught anyone really out there other than...

[1624] Yeah, no, I have a neighbor out there.

[1625] Right, you have your neighbor, a heavy smoker.

[1626] Yep.

[1627] Seemingly nice guy, I guess.

[1628] Yeah, he seems nice.

[1629] Yeah.

[1630] Also, it could be a killer.

[1631] He could go either way.

[1632] He could go either way.

[1633] But he's always nice to me, so I don't think he's going to kill me. No, no. Yeah.

[1634] Well, it's always shocking when you watch these serial killer shows.

[1635] How many normal friends they had?

[1636] Like, how many people either dated them or were pals with them?

[1637] That's what's...

[1638] Scary.

[1639] Yes.

[1640] I'm almost more curious about the best friend of a serial killer than a serial killer.

[1641] I think they just don't show that side.

[1642] Yeah, I guess I would assume not.

[1643] Or the friends just really understanding.

[1644] That would be the best surprise ending in history if you were a serial killer.

[1645] Because you're so afraid of them.

[1646] And of all the people you or the serial killer.

[1647] Oh, my God.

[1648] Wow.

[1649] That would be cool.

[1650] I'm more nervous that I'm going to end up with a serial killer.

[1651] Ah, you think so?

[1652] I could.

[1653] Well, sure, it could happen to anyone.

[1654] It could happen to anyone.

[1655] I feel like your spidey senses would be better than that.

[1656] Yeah, they're pretty...

[1657] Pretty untaught.

[1658] Mm -hmm.

[1659] They're pretty sharp.

[1660] But some of these serial killers are charming.

[1661] Oh, yeah.

[1662] And I like a charming boy.

[1663] Yeah, Ted Bundy, right?

[1664] Yeah, he was notorious.

[1665] Women were crazy for Theodore Bundy.

[1666] part of it was a silly name it's a disarming name hi i'm theodore bundy teddy rucksman no no theodore bundy what did you do this week my brother and my sister -in -law were visiting yeah i want to hear all about that dave and tammy not a ton to hear just a super incredibly pleasant wonderful heartwarming visit what else sauna sauna did you lick your brother's sweat and see what it tasted like that is eric's domain and I like to give keep I want to honor people's lane that's nice yeah and I don't want to encroach on their thing I thought about it today I thought about the sweat taste you really want him to lick you I want to know what mine tastes like well you want him to lick you no a little bit a little bit no you let him molest your feet I want him to lick my feet but I don't want him to lick my arm I just do want to know how mine compares to everyone else's first up let's back he would explode if you let him lick your feet like you were letting him grade them with a cheese grater and polish them and stuff they need a little they need and he was definitely erect no he was not aroused if he if you allowed him to lick your feet in the sauna i'd be nervous about everything no no he has to lick my arm in the sauna yeah yeah but you just separately you want him to lick your feet yeah when he's doing my pleasure oh you just think that would be a nice finishing piece?

[1667] Kind of.

[1668] Like a spit polo?

[1669] I guess we were learning I have a foot fetish just as much as he has a footfetched.

[1670] Oh, wow.

[1671] You guys are match made in heaven.

[1672] Yeah, I love Eric.

[1673] Okay.

[1674] A couple.

[1675] I had insane Bader Meenhoff frequency illusion yesterday.

[1676] Tell me. White Teslas.

[1677] One almost hit me. Okay.

[1678] When you were walking or in your car?

[1679] Walking.

[1680] Okay.

[1681] And it almost hit me in the crosswalk.

[1682] So that's when I noticed it.

[1683] And then they were everywhere.

[1684] I mean, it started to feel like that.

[1685] Like, oh, my God, I'm in some sort of.

[1686] It's birds, but with Tesla's.

[1687] Scary.

[1688] There was a lot.

[1689] Then I wondered, I was like, no, there has to be a practical reason for this.

[1690] Like maybe this white Tesla just came out yesterday.

[1691] Yeah.

[1692] And now everyone's taking it out on an inaugural voyage.

[1693] That's right.

[1694] They don't have their bearings yet.

[1695] No, and they're hitting me and all kinds of stuff.

[1696] So I didn't look into if that's true or not, but it was weird.

[1697] Like, I looked to my left and I was like, there's another one.

[1698] And then in front of me there was one.

[1699] Like, it was outrageous.

[1700] Uh -huh.

[1701] It was outrageous.

[1702] It outraged you.

[1703] Yeah, I didn't like it.

[1704] Yeah.

[1705] There's something that we both did this week that we should update people on.

[1706] Yes.

[1707] And that's David Ferrier's movie we saw for the first time.

[1708] Yeah, Mr. Organ.

[1709] Mr. Organ.

[1710] A lovely affair So fun, me, you and Kristen went Uh -huh, Los Phila's 3 Uh -oh.

[1711] Uh -oh.

[1712] We already...

[1713] Oh, no. I don't know something.

[1714] This is a soft spot.

[1715] Rob is upset.

[1716] David didn't invite me. That's not true.

[1717] That is not true.

[1718] That is not true.

[1719] Sort of.

[1720] Uh -oh.

[1721] It's not true.

[1722] Happy 500th episode, Rob.

[1723] What happened?

[1724] Tell your father what happened.

[1725] He didn't invite him.

[1726] me but then I finally asked him and was like can I get how do we get tickets to go to this and he sent me the link and he was like easiest is just yeah buy through here oh well not buy everything's free yeah okay and he's like it shouldn't sell out you'll be fine okay I tried at 9 15 oh and it was not at 9 it was already gone really oh my god and I was like it's fine and then you told him and then I told him and he was like you some guy dropped out you can use his name if you want they shouldn't hassle you.

[1727] Okay.

[1728] And we weren't.

[1729] It was too late.

[1730] No, I mean, it was.

[1731] He was too upset.

[1732] I got you.

[1733] I understand.

[1734] That's fair.

[1735] Okay, that's Rob's perspective, but David has a different one.

[1736] Now you're speaking for cinnamon.

[1737] Okay.

[1738] We talked about us.

[1739] I know.

[1740] Yeah, we did.

[1741] We were all talked about this yesterday or two days ago.

[1742] When it was fresh.

[1743] Fresh on Rob's heart.

[1744] David said, and I, and this is true, I think.

[1745] Like the first - He has name amnesia.

[1746] That's right.

[1747] No, he didn't really reserve any seats except for people who were like early on, I'm coming.

[1748] Like, can you?

[1749] And so he did that.

[1750] So they all got taken.

[1751] Yep.

[1752] And then the rest, it was like, okay, do this normal thing.

[1753] Even me a long time ago, when you first even told me about the movie, this is way before he even had this screen.

[1754] I said, well, I really want to see it if we do it here, if we're going to watch in your house, Dax's house, Daddy's house.

[1755] Yeah, the old man's.

[1756] But I really want to make sure I really want to see it.

[1757] Yep.

[1758] So then even for me, he was like, if the tickets are all weird, like he was very freaked out about this ticket situation.

[1759] This is a kind of, this is a way too stressful of a situation for him.

[1760] For Sini, yeah.

[1761] I relate a little bit just when we perform and if it's out of time.

[1762] There's just like, it stresses me out.

[1763] Yes.

[1764] I generally don't even tell people.

[1765] I used to do stand up.

[1766] I didn't tell anyone I did stand up because I just didn't, that part gave me anxiety.

[1767] So I can relate to him.

[1768] Anyway, also you did the Q &A.

[1769] Right.

[1770] You hosted it.

[1771] That's right.

[1772] I did the intro and then the Q &A.

[1773] Yeah.

[1774] So you had to have a seat.

[1775] I assumed I would have a seat.

[1776] I didn't even think much of it.

[1777] I just figured.

[1778] I wasn't harboring anything.

[1779] You should have provided a service, Rob.

[1780] I mean, you have to make yourself indispensable to these things.

[1781] or, you know, get it.

[1782] Well, I'm sorry that happened.

[1783] If I were you, I would have hurt feelings.

[1784] You are by far the best of friends with David out of the three of us.

[1785] You've been on -Harely, no. No, they've been on 13 vacations together.

[1786] But he doesn't know Rob's face.

[1787] That's true.

[1788] You know what?

[1789] I do think this is deeper than just this event.

[1790] I think the fact that he didn't remember your face somewhere is probably the underpinning.

[1791] I understand.

[1792] I understand.

[1793] feeling bad and you were a little scared too oh yeah i hate that yes it makes me feel very unloved it's made everyone feel a little insecure in his life oh what a fucking good move yeah to make everyone everyone wants a piece because he just won't give it who his memory's so finite who will get that that coveted slot in his facial memory they can't be anyway okay sorry rob we are going to talk about the movie for a second Because we need to.

[1794] I'll plug my ears.

[1795] But I understand, I would be very hurt.

[1796] You wouldn't have cared.

[1797] I won't know.

[1798] I know.

[1799] It's different personality.

[1800] It was more like, see you guys all there tonight?

[1801] Yeah.

[1802] That's, that's Dax's fault.

[1803] I don't blame you.

[1804] Well, I assumed that CINI had invited you and secured you at C. Of course.

[1805] It's very, this is, look, these are one of the tricky situations in life.

[1806] Between friends.

[1807] My two boys He did tell me too He wanted no friends at that That he loves you the very most I'm feeling defensive of Simi Okay we got to pick I guess this makes sense You have Sinney and I got Rob No I don't want to do that This is what you did in race to 270 You always wanted it to be You and Aaron versus me and Charlie And I like everyone Okay I have a different memory of it Of course You just made Charlie yours All of a sudden you were...

[1808] Well, because you made Aaron yours, so I had...

[1809] Well, Aaron was born mine.

[1810] Well...

[1811] I had a really good foundation for rooting for Aaron.

[1812] You have to root for the guy losing weight more than you're rooting for the guy gaining weight.

[1813] Of course.

[1814] Yeah.

[1815] But I just can't have everyone rooting for one person.

[1816] Of course.

[1817] That feels so imbalanced in the world.

[1818] Absolutely.

[1819] And unjust.

[1820] Agreed.

[1821] And Cini isn't here to speak for himself.

[1822] He's not.

[1823] And he's a very sweet boy.

[1824] Yeah.

[1825] And we love him.

[1826] I mean, I'm sure that was actually a bummer.

[1827] But also, you're the eldest son and you can take it.

[1828] I'm generally excited if I'm not invited to something.

[1829] Because more often, I'm, right, you're not, I am.

[1830] More often, I'm more nervous that I'm going to have to tell someone I'm not going to something that they've invited me to and that I'm afraid I'm going to upset them.

[1831] Right.

[1832] So my just knee jerk to being invited to something is just I get a little scared like, oh, am I going to be free that?

[1833] Do it.

[1834] Am I going to want to go?

[1835] Am I going to be free that night?

[1836] Yeah.

[1837] I'm definitely the opposite.

[1838] I really am very sensitive to being left out.

[1839] I need want to be invited to everything.

[1840] But I'm also fine saying I can't go.

[1841] Yeah.

[1842] This has been a huge issue in our extended friendship circle with the advent of Instagram.

[1843] Friendships have been lost over the last few years when pictures of people on a beach pop up and other people haven't been invited to that beach party.

[1844] And it's ended friendships.

[1845] You're right.

[1846] Yeah, you're right.

[1847] We all take stuff really personally.

[1848] Yeah, we all have our own stuff we come in with.

[1849] There's reasons underneath.

[1850] Yeah.

[1851] Back to Cini's movie.

[1852] Yes, onto the actual thing we were going to talk about.

[1853] Yes, I was so proud of him.

[1854] Yes.

[1855] You wrote a beautiful post about him.

[1856] Yeah.

[1857] Yes.

[1858] And he is so deserving.

[1859] Yes.

[1860] Tell me why you're so proud.

[1861] I don't know.

[1862] I mean, I know you don't like, right?

[1863] You like it when I'm.

[1864] proud of you though yeah yeah yeah but i just think saying you're proud of someone is a potentially dicey yeah statement because it kind of elevates you above the person like you're in a position to dole out proud it's kind of parental got it i didn't that's not the kind i feel i know that yeah i'm clear on yours but i do know sometimes i've heard people that like barely know christian say they're proud of her for frozen i'm like i don't know that that's your position like yeah That's a weird compliment.

[1865] Just say like you loved it or you're happy for her, but you're proud of her.

[1866] It does imply a certain relationship that might not be there.

[1867] And if a guy says it to a girl, it's different potentially.

[1868] It's a little patriarchal.

[1869] Oh, but I like it when you are proud of me. Yes, but again, we have a very...

[1870] But you are my dad?

[1871] Yes.

[1872] And we have a long relationship where I would never call it that, but mentor in some levels over the years.

[1873] yeah no yeah for me there's not like a word i mean there's just a closeness yeah i'm your dad sweet father yeah my dad says it obviously that's that's what you want that's the only person i need it really from yeah for sure um but anyway but there's multiple relationships in life where you can be like i i get so caught to me to it i never would even say it because it's triggering to me yeah but i've warmed to it when i was watching it is kind of what i said in the post i was like oh my God, I forget.

[1874] Like, I forget that Dave, not that he makes movies, that he's so smart and interesting and compelling and unique.

[1875] So unique.

[1876] Oh, he's such a unicorn.

[1877] Yeah, and when you're around someone all the time, it's really easy to forget because they're just in your life.

[1878] You know what it is?

[1879] This is the analogy I'd make.

[1880] Your best friends with Hannah Montana.

[1881] Okay.

[1882] And then every now and then you end up at Miley Cyrus.

[1883] his concert.

[1884] Oh, okay.

[1885] And you're like, oh, my God, that's right.

[1886] She's also Miley Cyrus.

[1887] Yeah.

[1888] That's true.

[1889] Yeah.

[1890] No, yeah.

[1891] Yeah.

[1892] And so I didn't feel proud of him, but I felt proud to know him.

[1893] Right.

[1894] Like, I think you were going like, oh, if I didn't know anybody and I went and saw this movie, I would be so interested in this person.

[1895] Yes.

[1896] And they're my friend.

[1897] Yeah, and I get to be friends with this person.

[1898] Yes.

[1899] That's sort of what it was.

[1900] Yeah.

[1901] And he did such a good job, and he cries in the movie.

[1902] Oh, I forgot you would like that so much.

[1903] Of course.

[1904] It really broke my heart.

[1905] Did you get a little more?

[1906] I don't want to talk about it.

[1907] I wanted to take care of that boy.

[1908] Yes, of course.

[1909] Of course I did.

[1910] So on that same front, first and foremost, I loved the movie.

[1911] Yeah, I know.

[1912] He's doing such original stuff.

[1913] I am very protective of him.

[1914] He is my son So I was also fucking frustrated Like if I watched a movie Where you were getting shoved for two hours I almost couldn't enjoy it Because I need to get involved Yeah I felt that I was like This is gonna make Dax crazy I wanted to get in these conversations And go shut up, shut the fuck up Okay, you stop talking You're not making any sense You've convinced yourself you're making sense Because you're using words endlessly ad nauseum And you think it's adding up to something It's not So shut the fuck up yeah this boy here is so much smarter than you yeah and he's taller and handsomer than you too and that's why you're in love with them and that's the only thing i like about you is that you're in love with thinny because his sub real let's fill people in yeah there's a story about this very strange man in new zealand yeah who makes headlines because uh he and the woman that owns this antique store decide to start putting boots on people's cars when they park in their parking lot after hours operating hours yeah and they're charging people seven $700 to get the boot off.

[1915] So it's a total racket.

[1916] Racket.

[1917] Great use of the word.

[1918] That's really a racket.

[1919] David starts writing articles about this guy, exposing him.

[1920] It becomes kind of a big new, well, it becomes huge in New Zealand to the point where they pass a fucking bill in their Congress to address this.

[1921] So David really causes some heat for these two.

[1922] They end up getting rid of their store.

[1923] Now the guy hates David.

[1924] And now he's coming for David.

[1925] All in real life.

[1926] It's all real life.

[1927] Yeah, this unfolds and this like weird.

[1928] He becomes a part of this doc when he, like he always does this.

[1929] Like he always, he has a knack for this.

[1930] Engratiating himself into these people who hate him.

[1931] That's what, it's impossible to hate him is what happens.

[1932] So the guy would arrive every time to give David a piece of his mind, but he clearly had a crush on David and David so disarming that they'd end up having coffee and then he couldn't stop talking to David.

[1933] he is insatiably driven to be talking with David at all time.

[1934] But also fucking with him.

[1935] Like he, that's his thing.

[1936] Uh -huh.

[1937] He's a narcissistic sociopath, this man. And he's dangerous.

[1938] He's a dangerous guy.

[1939] He's ruined a lot of people's lives.

[1940] It's very scary.

[1941] We probably shouldn't give more beyond that away.

[1942] But suffice to say, it drove me nuts to not be able to get in there and yell for David, scream on his behalf.

[1943] Would you have punched?

[1944] Had that guy been younger.

[1945] When they did the flashbacks, that guy, yeah.

[1946] Yeah.

[1947] Yeah, for sure.

[1948] Would you have punched the guy who was clamping the wheels?

[1949] They call it clamping.

[1950] Clamped.

[1951] Well, I think David's using it to great comedic effect, actually.

[1952] I don't know how ubiquitous term clamping is, but he uses it in an artful, skillful way.

[1953] But, yeah, I mean, yes.

[1954] It's like women, too.

[1955] He was, like, blocking women in.

[1956] Oh, yeah, yeah, intimidating women.

[1957] that's a two -part question.

[1958] Old me who's not on TV and is anonymous?

[1959] Yes, I'm decking that guy.

[1960] Fuck that guy.

[1961] Take this off right now or I'm going to beat the shit at you.

[1962] Those are your new options.

[1963] Yeah.

[1964] So me, I can't really do anything.

[1965] Yeah.

[1966] But I would on behalf of David.

[1967] Like I would break my own good common sense for on behalf of David.

[1968] Now, this is interesting because this is sort of a ding, ding, ding back to a conversation we had a few weeks ago.

[1969] Okay.

[1970] Where you were in the lounge.

[1971] Oh, you're right.

[1972] sticking up for someone and I was like uh you don't like Dax like don't do that you know and now I am like yeah I want you to so this is for that guy specifically I want you to I want you to punch that guy like I hate this guy yes yes yes I hate him he's he's evil and I want you to be the bearer of justice there and I will say this one mirrors the thing we're talking about quite elegantly because a debate with that guy is useless.

[1973] Yeah.

[1974] It literally is useless.

[1975] He really cannot talk anybody he gets in front of.

[1976] So he is a bully.

[1977] So why would I meet him in the field?

[1978] So that's when I like, oh, well, there's a second element to all this, sir.

[1979] Yeah.

[1980] There's another reality you're living in.

[1981] Yeah.

[1982] People can shut you up.

[1983] I think it's tricky because the reason I feel like I 100 % am fine with you doing whatever you need to.

[1984] to do to that person is because I know the depth of how bad he is.

[1985] Yes, yes.

[1986] And I don't know the depth of how bad the guy is at the lounge.

[1987] Yep.

[1988] And you're assuming he is really bad and I'm not, but maybe like, he is.

[1989] Well, having seen how the guy was talking to him and how verbally insulting and abusive and the amount of words and the condescension, the dude was a swordsman with words, right?

[1990] So it's like, to me, words was just not going to ever be the way to stop his shit.

[1991] Yeah.

[1992] But then from a broader out perspective, let's say I beat up Mr. Oregon.

[1993] He's still going to be Mr. Oregon the next day.

[1994] And he's going to be that way to everyone.

[1995] That's the part where I need to remind myself, like, I can't teach anyone a lesson.

[1996] I could stop something that's happening immediately.

[1997] Yeah.

[1998] But me, that's the sheriff part of me that's wrong, which is.

[1999] It's like, I'm not going to teach anyone lessons in life.

[2000] Yeah, yeah.

[2001] You can barely teach yourself a lesson.

[2002] Well, how are you going to teach a stranger that hate your guts a lesson?

[2003] They're never going to listen to you.

[2004] No, that's true.

[2005] That's true.

[2006] Anyways, great movie.

[2007] Anyway, great movie.

[2008] Great movie.

[2009] Good job, Cinnamon.

[2010] It's called Mr. Oregon.

[2011] And I don't know when or where it's out, but I imagine your internet can tell you.

[2012] I think you go to his webworm and then there's screenings.

[2013] We're proud of you, Ciney.

[2014] So proud.

[2015] The other thing that's great about Ciney, like the other Hannah Montana, Miley Cyrus aspect to it is we're with David all the time and David's working all the fucking time on this on his show and whatever armchair and dangerous and he writes webworm yeah like every other day there's or maybe it's every day I can't believe when I get the email that he's written all that that volume of shit yeah and then you find out oh he's also made this incredible film then you're like what's happening is David sleeping is he okay can he protect himself yeah Of course you go there.

[2016] Is he pacing himself?

[2017] Yeah.

[2018] The output is staggering.

[2019] It's a machine guns Kelly style.

[2020] A volcano of creativity.

[2021] Well, he also started liquid death.

[2022] David.

[2023] He should start cinnamon water.

[2024] They'd be so confusing because people are like, I don't think I won't.

[2025] Cinnamon water doesn't sound refreshing.

[2026] And every commercial would be him just explained.

[2027] So my name is cinnamon.

[2028] A lot of people out there think cinnamon water is cinnamon flavored water.

[2029] It's not.

[2030] My name is cinnamon.

[2031] It's not really cinnamon.

[2032] It's David Ferrier.

[2033] That's right.

[2034] Okay.

[2035] So this is for Scarlett, 500.

[2036] Oh, 500.

[2037] Also a ding, ding, ding.

[2038] Yeah.

[2039] Because I've used her as a reference so many times on this podcast.

[2040] And for her to have been 500, unsuspectingly, unknowingly, unwittingly, she had no idea.

[2041] Yeah, it could have been anyone.

[2042] And it was one we have been trying to get for 500 episodes.

[2043] Yes.

[2044] Big deal, really excited.

[2045] She was cool.

[2046] She's cool.

[2047] She's so cool.

[2048] Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[2049] I was intimidated.

[2050] Where are you?

[2051] At this point, 500 episodes in, there aren't that many people I'm intimidated by, because I'm just like, okay, we do a thing, we talk, they leave, whatever.

[2052] When the Paltrow was one.

[2053] Here's left who I. Left on your intimidation list?

[2054] Yes.

[2055] Mary Kay and Ashley.

[2056] So crazy to me, but yes.

[2057] I know.

[2058] There's so many layers to that one, right?

[2059] Yes, yes.

[2060] That's what we have to get them on.

[2061] You're ex lovers.

[2062] Yeah, no, no, no, let's be very clear.

[2063] I did not have married Kate as a lover.

[2064] She was your sister and lover.

[2065] My sister -in -law.

[2066] Who I adored, but didn't want to get mixed messages with.

[2067] Yeah, you can't give a mixy message with a sister.

[2068] I can say this very honestly.

[2069] And Carrie knows this.

[2070] When I was dating Carrie, she was a twin.

[2071] She is a twin, she not was a twin, but.

[2072] Carrie's twin sister.

[2073] You had mixed messies?

[2074] Well, of course.

[2075] We were like in high school and I was like, oh, this is the same person.

[2076] It's not.

[2077] They were not identical.

[2078] Trisha.

[2079] Trisha and Carrie.

[2080] Okay.

[2081] In fact, Carrie had spirally blonde hair.

[2082] Trisha had dark hair and olive skin.

[2083] Weird.

[2084] Yes.

[2085] They did not look very much alike at all.

[2086] Same size.

[2087] Both short.

[2088] Okay.

[2089] But of course I thought I had a crush on her.

[2090] I wouldn't have done anything behind Carrie.

[2091] back but this is strange no i think this is very normal is it this is a good question to put yeah but if you're attracted to that person you'd be i guess i guess i guess i just wonder like if you're one of these women how do you feel are you like it's fine that you're now dating my sister i don't know i don't know twins are also they have a bond that none of us can relate to that's right So in the ways that I've never Now I've had friends that I was on a little bit of alert with That they were trying to be with my girl I know you're talking about Well there's been more than one Yeah but yes I'm so close to Aaron Yeah I've never had that thought And even if I had caught Aaron having some Affair with one of my girlfriends I don't think it would have angered me that much Really?

[2092] I don't think so Really I just love them and if I love the person I could see myself being oddly happy for both of them.

[2093] I've said this to you a bunch of times about like Nate Tuck.

[2094] I've always felt that way about Nate Tuck too.

[2095] You have.

[2096] You have.

[2097] Like if I walked in and found Nate Tuck having sex with Kristen, I would think good for Nate Tuck.

[2098] I know.

[2099] It's weird.

[2100] I mean, like it's, it's, I think it's admirable, I think.

[2101] But it's, it's weird because here's the thing.

[2102] If I'm Kristen and we're married and you say to me, if you have enough, if you have enough, fair with Nate, like, I don't care.

[2103] Uh -huh.

[2104] I think I would feel like, oh, you don't care.

[2105] If I have affairs.

[2106] There's an arrogance to it.

[2107] Like, that I can own.

[2108] But, like, I'm not.

[2109] I know we've talked about this, but, like, a little jealousy.

[2110] Little bit of possession, which when I say that word, that's a really bad word.

[2111] Like, that's bad.

[2112] But that could be, I think we should resist being bad and good.

[2113] I think there's just like a, um, a range of feelings humans have and they feel possessive over things and I don't think we can call that good or bad I think it's natural yeah and look it's arrogance yeah because we've seen the time where Mike sure is the guy we love for me that I said openly in front of him that would be the only person I go I walk in and see Mike sure and Kristen having sex I'm like well they're probably gonna move off into the sunset without me because of the love portion Yes, because he has something I can't compete with or provide or occupy for her.

[2114] Yeah.

[2115] Aaron and I are so similar.

[2116] It's like if you, it's not like, you know what I'm saying?

[2117] I mean, we're not.

[2118] We are.

[2119] You're not.

[2120] Okay.

[2121] You're not interchangeable people.

[2122] We're not at all.

[2123] We're not at all.

[2124] But it's not like he's, um, he's a world class scientist.

[2125] Do you know what I'm saying?

[2126] We're both kind of dumb, funny guys.

[2127] If you kind of like us, it's so weird to say because I guess he would be violating my.

[2128] trust by having sex with Kristen.

[2129] But in some weird way, I trust him so much with my heart and my feelings that I would never interpret it as personal to me or an attack on me or an attempt to steal from me or an, you know what, I would be able to see it for what it really was.

[2130] Like he was horny, she was willing, there they are.

[2131] I would not feel any of the betrayal.

[2132] But you would.

[2133] Because I have so much safety in how much I think he loves me. And how much she does.

[2134] So yes, you feel very safe in those relationships that even if that was happening.

[2135] I would chalk it up to like an adventure they both took.

[2136] Right.

[2137] And maybe you feel neither of them are going to leave me. Right.

[2138] Yeah.

[2139] So that's the arrogance part.

[2140] So I wouldn't be afraid they were going to leave me. But I have had friends.

[2141] So I'm not saying I'm completely devoid of this.

[2142] I have had friends that I have assessed want what I have.

[2143] If I've had friends that I've evaluated have some envy in me, then that becomes a whole different scenario for me. Then it feels nefarious and calculated.

[2144] Interesting.

[2145] But it's not even to say that they would know that's what was going on.

[2146] But I've had certain friends that were always inexplicably attracted to whoever I was dating.

[2147] And I don't think that was coincidental.

[2148] Right.

[2149] But I don't think Nate envies me one bit.

[2150] I don't think Aaron envies me one bit.

[2151] And I think if they ended up sleeping with Kristen, it would just be.

[2152] some weird adventure they all took.

[2153] I don't think there'd be another layer of like, I'm secretly alfying him.

[2154] It's just interesting.

[2155] So then I got to imagine I have a twin, right?

[2156] Right.

[2157] Which I have to imagine is the most secure feeling any human on planeters has ever achieved.

[2158] Right.

[2159] It's like not even that sibling bond.

[2160] It's just like you've spent every second of your life together and you know you're gonna.

[2161] Yeah.

[2162] I couldn't begin to guess how I'd feel if my identical twin brother had sex with my girlfriend.

[2163] I don't know.

[2164] Yeah.

[2165] You don't know.

[2166] I just can't even begin to.

[2167] Okay.

[2168] Well, when we have Mary Kate Nash down, we can ask.

[2169] I'll tell you what Carrie did have.

[2170] She had so much love for Trishie.

[2171] Still does.

[2172] Yeah.

[2173] If Carrie reaches out to me, it's most often to send me picture of Trishy's kids.

[2174] Oh, her name is Trishy?

[2175] Trisha.

[2176] That's so cute.

[2177] But Carrie calls her Trishy.

[2178] That is so cute.

[2179] In fact, can I send you a picture she just sent me?

[2180] Yeah.

[2181] Because it was her birthday, October 2nd.

[2182] So I said happy birthday tour, and you've got to look at this fucking picture.

[2183] Okay, now you guys got to zoom in on these two.

[2184] Oh, my God.

[2185] This is so cute.

[2186] Gary is putting Trishy's shoes on for her.

[2187] Trichy's sitting in a chair like she's at a shoe store.

[2188] Oh, wow.

[2189] That is so.

[2190] And they're both caught.

[2191] Yes, they both totally busted.

[2192] Holy fuck adorable oh my god they're so cute and they love each other so much so nice so I just remember like even in high school if Trishy was walking away from the pool Carrie would always go look how cute Trishy's butt is like she just adored Trishy and she wanted me to adore her too even to think she was pretty like there was just this insane benevolence towards her but maybe also Carrie assess that you guys were so connected that like Even you could appreciate it, but you wouldn't leave her for her.

[2193] I think she felt like I feel, which is like she knew I wanted to be with her.

[2194] She was a crazy unicorn artist hippie.

[2195] And her sister was much different when she went into finance.

[2196] Like they're completely different.

[2197] Carrie became a swing dancer.

[2198] So like, yeah, when I think about those two, they could have handled that.

[2199] Yeah.

[2200] Maybe they even did.

[2201] I bet they've slept with one another's boyfriends at some point along the way.

[2202] I don't think that had.

[2203] That wasn't be for Trishy.

[2204] Oh.

[2205] Oh, my God.

[2206] I'm going to ask her if I can post that picture on this one.

[2207] Back to intimidation.

[2208] Okay, yes.

[2209] Mary Kay and Ashley.

[2210] Oh, my God, yes.

[2211] Oh, wow.

[2212] What a detour.

[2213] And other people, too.

[2214] But I was intimidated by Scarlett because she is very cool.

[2215] She's very confident.

[2216] Yes.

[2217] But I really liked her a lot.

[2218] Yeah.

[2219] Okay.

[2220] So a couple facts.

[2221] Does Scarlet have a deal with Mary at hotels?

[2222] No. That was a joke.

[2223] That was a little throwaway.

[2224] She sold it, though, the way Christing sometimes confuses you.

[2225] Oh, God, and she's acting and talking at the same time.

[2226] It's confusing.

[2227] Okay, the place with the aliens is Area 51.

[2228] Oh.

[2229] I couldn't remember the name of it.

[2230] Okay.

[2231] And it's Area 51.

[2232] In the Nevada Desert.

[2233] That's right.

[2234] Oh, I did a new thing for our 500th episode on my facts.

[2235] If everyone wants to know behind the scenes.

[2236] I do.

[2237] Normally, I have the facts listed.

[2238] Like how to pronounce.

[2239] pronounce incongruous, incongruous.

[2240] Oh, right.

[2241] And then I'll do one of two things.

[2242] I'll just copy and paste the answer.

[2243] Uh -huh.

[2244] Or if it's a link, then I just keep the tab up.

[2245] Okay, great.

[2246] But that's bad.

[2247] Because you lose your tabs a lot.

[2248] That's right.

[2249] You know you can also copy a hyperlink.

[2250] That's my new thing.

[2251] Oh, you just, oh, you're new to that.

[2252] Okay.

[2253] That's my new thing.

[2254] Okay, great.

[2255] Okay, so how to pronounce?

[2256] I mean, I don't know how to do anything on a computer.

[2257] And I feel like I've known how to insert hyperlinks for like a decade.

[2258] No, I know how.

[2259] It just wasn't a part of my process.

[2260] Until episode 500.

[2261] Yeah.

[2262] Incongruous.

[2263] Yeah, so I'm saying it wrong.

[2264] How do you say it?

[2265] Incongruous.

[2266] Okay.

[2267] Incongruous.

[2268] I don't like how that sounds as much as a word.

[2269] Incongruous.

[2270] So I concede I was wrong.

[2271] The word now doesn't have the punch I think incongruous has.

[2272] No. Congruous is the one that.

[2273] Incongruous.

[2274] I say incongruous.

[2275] Jesus, man. Can never get through one of these.

[2276] I don't even know what I say.

[2277] Okay.

[2278] How often do men shit themselves versus women?

[2279] So actually this is interesting.

[2280] Muscle -wise, women are more likely to have fecal incontinence.

[2281] Ooh.

[2282] I like unauthorized evacuation more, but that's a runner -up.

[2283] Fecal incontinent.

[2284] That's the real term.

[2285] That's a medical term.

[2286] Common causes include diarrhea.

[2287] Wow.

[2288] Constipation.

[2289] That's counterintuitive.

[2290] Well, maybe it's with the muscles.

[2291] It's like maybe if you're constipated a lot.

[2292] They get fatigued.

[2293] Diarrhea, constipation, and muscle or nerve damage.

[2294] The muscle or nerve damage may be associated with aging or with giving birth.

[2295] And if you got an episiotomy, too.

[2296] Yeah.

[2297] Yikes.

[2298] All right.

[2299] I put my hand on my heart.

[2300] that means I feel you.

[2301] Oh, constipation.

[2302] Real, recognize, real, and you're looking familiar.

[2303] I always want to say to the women out there I've had the episiotomy, God bless you.

[2304] You have?

[2305] No, I can't have an api -a -xiety.

[2306] Exactly.

[2307] Wait, what did you just say?

[2308] Well, I want to recognize the sacrifice they've made for their family.

[2309] Oh.

[2310] I don't want to just throw out episiotomy and not say, I put my hand in my heart.

[2311] It means I feel you.

[2312] Real, recognize, real, you're looking familiar.

[2313] But you can't say real, recognize real when you haven't had one.

[2314] I can recognize real, because I'm real.

[2315] Okay, that's not right.

[2316] I think it's...

[2317] Okay, listen.

[2318] Tomato tomorrow.

[2319] I learned why constipation is a cause.

[2320] Chronic constipation may cause a dry, hard, massive stool.

[2321] Impacted stool to form in the rectum and become too large to pass.

[2322] The muscles of the rectum and intestines stretch and eventually weaken, allowing watery...

[2323] Ew.

[2324] Allowing watery stool from farther up the digestive tract to move around the impact.

[2325] to move around the impacted stool and leak out.

[2326] Chronic constipation may also cause nerve damage that leads to fecal incontinence.

[2327] This makes way more sense that they're saying some upriver hannis gets out.

[2328] But the notion that the brick falls out without your control seemed impossible to me. Doesn't it usually come out of nowhere though?

[2329] If you're constipated, you're like, don't know when it's going to come.

[2330] But it's so big and hard.

[2331] The dam's going to break.

[2332] But it can't fall out.

[2333] You don't think anyone's gotten like a paving brick in their underwear.

[2334] People generally are having honours.

[2335] Although we have met people who are doing logs.

[2336] Well, that's what's interesting about these armchair anonymous poop stories.

[2337] A lot of times they don't sound like their diarrhea.

[2338] No, honest.

[2339] I have no understanding of this ever.

[2340] I don't either.

[2341] I've almost pooped my pants a few times and then I, whatever.

[2342] I don't want to talk about it.

[2343] David crying.

[2344] Stop off.

[2345] Pooping your pants.

[2346] There's a lot of hot button topics.

[2347] No fly zones.

[2348] If Marcel was here, he's like, oh, she's not talking about.

[2349] She doesn't want to talk about that.

[2350] Exactly.

[2351] You just email me. He said, cut that out.

[2352] What if you started having a publicist present with us at all times?

[2353] Okay.

[2354] So it's always like, I'm, it's a diarrhea situation.

[2355] I couldn't agree more.

[2356] I've never, and I've pooped my pants, as you guys know.

[2357] So many guys.

[2358] At this point at 47, at least 50 times.

[2359] Not that many.

[2360] Once a year back when I was an attic, three times a year.

[2361] I bet it at it.

[2362] It's like 500.

[2363] We got to 500 somehow.

[2364] I would have never said at 18, I'm going to poop my pants 50 times by the time I'm 50, 50 for 50.

[2365] But one poop at a time, I bet it's added up to that.

[2366] Wow.

[2367] But what I'm telling you is I've never taken a dump in my pants.

[2368] Right.

[2369] And some of these people are taking dumps in their pants.

[2370] And that is obscure to me. It's incongruous.

[2371] What I know about the experience.

[2372] That does seem like you more decide to hell with it.

[2373] I'm going to go now.

[2374] But that can't.

[2375] It doesn't sound like it from the stories.

[2376] It's not.

[2377] You're right.

[2378] So I'm, it's fascinating.

[2379] Life is so fascinating.

[2380] I can't believe people don't want to hear more about it.

[2381] I know.

[2382] Boggles my mind.

[2383] I agree.

[2384] Okay.

[2385] Risk factors for this fecal incontinence.

[2386] Age is more common in adults over 65.

[2387] You are an anomaly.

[2388] Well, no, I'm in trouble is what that means.

[2389] If I'm this frequent below 50.

[2390] When you're 80, you're going to be at 9 ,000.

[2391] Chew up a banana and watch it come out.

[2392] Okay.

[2393] Being female is a risk factor.

[2394] What website is this?

[2395] No, this is an org.

[2396] It's Mayo Clinic.

[2397] This is an org.

[2398] It's a Mayo Clinic that we are trusting that.

[2399] Okay.

[2400] Being female because female incontinence can be a complication of childbirth.

[2401] Okay.

[2402] Oh, yes, the one time you poop the delivery table.

[2403] It's a complication.

[2404] Oh, like a post.

[2405] I got you.

[2406] Postpartum.

[2407] Nerve damage, dementia, and physical disability.

[2408] Okay.

[2409] So anyway, men should not be doing this medically.

[2410] To my point, arrogance.

[2411] This may be the first scientific study I fund.

[2412] Okay, right.

[2413] I just don't believe the Mayo Clinic.

[2414] Well, I just know that.

[2415] How dare you?

[2416] You know, that's my favorite clinic.

[2417] I know it is.

[2418] It's my second favorite clinic.

[2419] I know.

[2420] John's Hopkins.

[2421] But the point is this anecdotal dad I have, it's too expansive to ignore.

[2422] I don't know any women who poop their pain.

[2423] We've talked to a lot of women.

[2424] That's really true.

[2425] That is.

[2426] That's incredibly true.

[2427] That's really true, Rob.

[2428] And also, like, when are you just going to accept the arrogance theory?

[2429] I don't deny that the arrogance theory is there.

[2430] But what it doesn't do for me is explain why we don't ever pee our pants.

[2431] Okay.

[2432] That is the big part you still need to explain for your theory to totally hold water.

[2433] I know.

[2434] There is a gender.

[2435] Organisms, though.

[2436] Yes, so is your anus.

[2437] You have a prostate.

[2438] Oh, I know, but according to, it would say, it would say on Mayo Clinic.

[2439] What I'm saying is if we can concede that women biologically, anatomically, are having a harder time not peeing their pants.

[2440] Peldic floor.

[2441] I don't know why it's a stretch to think then that men too might have a gender -related challenge.

[2442] I am fine with that.

[2443] but I did research, a Mayo Clinic has nothing about the prostate.

[2444] I guarantee Mayo Clinic never went to a campfire and asked everyone present how often they poop their pants.

[2445] I just don't think they've launched that study.

[2446] All right.

[2447] All right.

[2448] We didn't learn anything.

[2449] We learned.

[2450] I'm going to die on this hill.

[2451] Okay.

[2452] I have a fact.

[2453] Sounds like it didn't go my way.

[2454] It didn't.

[2455] Oh, highest grossing star.

[2456] Correct.

[2457] It's not her.

[2458] Who is it?

[2459] Is Hamill Jackson?

[2460] Who she said?

[2461] What's his thing?

[2462] How many billions is he made?

[2463] Okay, this is as of 2022, all -time top -grossing actors in the U .S. and Canada.

[2464] Is that okay?

[2465] Yeah, that just means actors that live here.

[2466] Not for domestic box office, I don't think.

[2467] Wait, no. All -time top -grossing actors in the U .S. and Canada, 22 by total domestic.

[2468] Oh, here we are.

[2469] All roads lead back to this debate.

[2470] God.

[2471] Can't a Steve.

[2472] I believe it.

[2473] Total domestic box revenue.

[2474] As of July 2022, Samuel L. Jackson was the highest grossing leading actor in the U .S. and Canada, which combine are known as the North American movie market.

[2475] Hold on.

[2476] It has Downey as number two, by the way.

[2477] I do see her worldwide.

[2478] Oh, fuck.

[2479] Really?

[2480] Well, you have Samuel, Robert Downey, her?

[2481] Yeah.

[2482] This is her Robert Downey Samuel worldwide.

[2483] Worldwide box office.

[2484] so you're right maybe based on are you on Mayo Clinic for the numbers dot com which but is this like the fucking demo where it doesn't even really matter it's what matters is the North American market what I'm claiming is all movie tickets ever sold in the history of movie tickets all over the world yeah she has she has the highest at 14 point 14 .14 4 .15 4 .5 Oh, 14 .5.

[2485] Do you think it's gone up 400 million since we interviewed her?

[2486] What is Samuel Jackson's?

[2487] He's 14 .3 worldwide, but the list that you have is probably 5 .7 domestic.

[2488] Are you on the numbers?

[2489] Yes.

[2490] I just searched highest international box office actors of all time in Google's showing the, like...

[2491] Wikipedia has scarlet.

[2492] This is numbers to...

[2493] Robert Downey and then Samuel Jackson.

[2494] Chris Pat number five.

[2495] Not shocked.

[2496] of franchise.

[2497] Wow.

[2498] And there's only two women in this top ten.

[2499] Who do you think the other woman is?

[2500] Besides Scarlett.

[2501] Natalie Porman.

[2502] No, good guess so.

[2503] Because she's in superhero and Star Wars.

[2504] This is a very good guess.

[2505] I don't know.

[2506] It's always how Donna.

[2507] Oh, the avatars.

[2508] Yeah.

[2509] Kristen's 122 on this list.

[2510] Okay.

[2511] Okay, girl.

[2512] I see you.

[2513] Three point four eight billion.

[2514] Dude.

[2515] Dang, girl.

[2516] Damn, woman.

[2517] Who am I?

[2518] Damn, B. Okay.

[2519] So anyway, you were right.

[2520] I concede.

[2521] Oh, okay.

[2522] But domestic, Samuel Jackson.

[2523] Great.

[2524] On that list, I has Robert Downey and then Scarlett.

[2525] Still gangster.

[2526] I mean, it's crazy.

[2527] Yeah.

[2528] You know, here in this?

[2529] She is definitely not losing her insurance.

[2530] She's not losing her insurance.

[2531] And I'm imagining she makes like a couple.

[2532] a couple million a year on residuals.

[2533] I'm sure.

[2534] You're probably fine insurance -wise because of residuals, actually.

[2535] Do those count towards your thing?

[2536] Oh, they do?

[2537] Yeah.

[2538] You'll be fine.

[2539] But I'm scared.

[2540] I triple dip, too, which was smart.

[2541] Because the residuals as a director are way better than as an actor.

[2542] And they're also as a writer.

[2543] They're incredible.

[2544] And I have a few writing directing credits.

[2545] Isn't that insurance be through WGA and DJ?

[2546] You're absolutely right.

[2547] It doesn't even apply.

[2548] Fuck.

[2549] Okay.

[2550] All right.

[2551] Well, I love you.

[2552] I love you happy 500 everyone happy 500 um sorry about the premiere congratulations on the premiere to you what are you talking about you got to see um david cries that's your favorite thing yeah so congratulations on the premiere i'm sorry to rob congratulations to me and good job to you because you did a great job at the q and a oh thank you thank you thank you and congratulations scarlet johansen for coming on this podcast I know it's the last thing you needed to do in your career to know it was a success.

[2553] You got it, girl.

[2554] You got it.

[2555] Follow Armchair Expert on the Wondry app, Amazon music, or wherever you get your podcasts.

[2556] You can listen to every episode of Armchair Expert early and ad free right now by joining Wondry Plus in the Wondry app or on Apple Podcasts.

[2557] Before you go, tell us about yourself by completing a short survey at Wondry .com slash survey.