Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend XX
[0] Hi, my name is Michelle's honor, and I feel elated about being Conan O 'Brien's friend.
[1] Fall is here, hear the yell, back to school, ring the bell, brand new shoes, walking loose, climb the fence, books and pens, I can tell that we are going to be friends.
[2] I can tell that we are going to be friends Hey there Is Conan O 'Brien Welcome to Conan O 'Brien Needs a friend I'm chilling with my best buds Oh wait, no I'm not I'm here with Sona And with Matt Goreley Sorry for a second I thought I was with my best friends ever Sona and I are best buds Yeah, we're besties I can sense that You guys have a very strong connection Yeah I don't get it myself It's day one Yeah Really?
[3] Yeah I mean even before before that, I think, just before all space and time.
[4] Do you think you knew each other in past lives?
[5] Yeah.
[6] When you were...
[7] It's possible we ran into each other where we grew up.
[8] That's right.
[9] We grew up a city apart from each other.
[10] No, I meant like thousands of years ago.
[11] Oh.
[12] You guys doing the equivalent of a podcast near some ancient ruins.
[13] No, she was Cleopatra and I was Mark Anthony.
[14] Yeah.
[15] I love how in past lives everyone's famous.
[16] I know.
[17] And I was not.
[18] I've looked into it.
[19] Oh.
[20] I was always a guy holding a shovel or being killed with a shovel.
[21] Throughout history.
[22] Hopefully by us.
[23] Yes, by you.
[24] Yeah.
[25] I was killed by Napoleon with a shovel.
[26] And I was killed by Cleopatra with a shovel.
[27] It's surprising you haven't been killed by a shovel yet in this life.
[28] I've been attacked many times with shovels.
[29] But because we're in the modern era, I'm usually able to get to my car quickly.
[30] And the blows slide ineffectually off the hood of my car.
[31] Okay.
[32] Sonar, are you comfortable tonight?
[33] Today?
[34] I'll say today, but it could be any time a day where we are.
[35] And I said tonight, just to try and throw the little.
[36] Oh, okay.
[37] I don't want them to know.
[38] I didn't know when...
[39] We're in a windowless room, so it might as well be night time, but it is not.
[40] We just started.
[41] You were just outside, and it's bright and it's sunny.
[42] But it, no, I'm chilly.
[43] You're chilly.
[44] I am.
[45] Yeah, me too.
[46] Okay.
[47] I wanted to address that because I don't care.
[48] And I wanted to make that clear.
[49] Because just before we started to record, Sonny did this whole thing about, I'm not, I'm kind of cold.
[50] And we all said, well, do you want to go get a jacket or something?
[51] And you said, No, no, no, no, but I'm just, I'm slightly, slightly chilly, but not enough for, and I'm thinking, this is, this is something I'm supposed to be thinking about.
[52] I, Conan O 'Brien.
[53] And then you bring it back while we're recording.
[54] You bring the conversation back to it.
[55] I want people to know what a silly fuss budget you are.
[56] I want to talk about how it is cold in this studio, but not cold enough to like put on a jacket, but it's cold where you need some sort of layer on top of what you're wearing.
[57] How about this?
[58] Here is a tissue.
[59] There's some tissues right next to me. What if I just drape these?
[60] I'm draping them on to Sona right now.
[61] Thank you.
[62] There, I just draped.
[63] That shoulder should be 0 .04 % warmer.
[64] Do you know how many times if you've said you were like cold or something?
[65] I'll be like, oh my God, I got to get a jacket because that was my job as an assistant.
[66] Yeah, as if.
[67] What do you mean?
[68] I always cared about your comfort.
[69] Even I'm not really buying that.
[70] I did.
[71] You didn't.
[72] Famously didn't.
[73] I didn't always, but I did sometimes.
[74] Again, one of my favorite pictures is us somewhere and I'm taking a selfie with like 15 people, a whole series of selfies.
[75] And in the foreground, Sony is ignoring me and having the largest pour of white wine I've seen in North America.
[76] Oh, bless you.
[77] Well, I mean, all I'm saying is there have been times when you've been like, oh, I'm, you know, chilly or I'm warm.
[78] And I would have been like, oh, okay.
[79] I don't think so.
[80] I honestly, and listen, you know I love you, but I honestly don't think so.
[81] That is not your instinct.
[82] Yeah, it is.
[83] Now, I've seen that it's your instinct with your children.
[84] Right.
[85] But no, it was never your instinct with me. I care about their comfort more than I've ever cared about yours.
[86] But I also, I birthed them.
[87] Yeah, I know.
[88] You, I didn't, I worked for you, but I didn't birth you.
[89] Well, you know what?
[90] There was a huge misunderstanding here.
[91] I could have sworn that you birthed me. me. What are you talking about?
[92] We all know that.
[93] Was working for him as painful as birthing a child, though?
[94] It was worse.
[95] I needed an epidural every day.
[96] Push, Sona, push.
[97] Just get through the day with Conan.
[98] Push!
[99] I have a standing appointment with anesthesiologist just to come in here.
[100] Yeah.
[101] Anesthesiologist.
[102] You had trouble with it, right?
[103] It was because I'm on anesthesiology.
[104] All I'm saying is I was a little chilly.
[105] And no one, I mean, people, like, Matt offered me his jacket.
[106] Blay was like, I could go get yours.
[107] And you didn't do anything or say anything.
[108] I don't have a jacket with me. But you have a comfy looking sweater.
[109] I do.
[110] I wore a sweater.
[111] I just thought, you know what?
[112] I saw Banshees of Minishirin and I've decided to wear sweaters a lot now.
[113] And I want to dress like everyone in Banshees of Inesherin.
[114] It's, it's Los Angeles.
[115] I know, but I'm going to commit to it.
[116] You know what I'm going to do?
[117] I'm going to get a little stove that burns Pete.
[118] Yeah.
[119] And I'm going to have it in my, in the Conoco offices.
[120] And I'm going to burn peat like they do in the old farm country.
[121] This is bullshit because you're turning into the caricature you paint of me. Yeah.
[122] But, okay, so what?
[123] You know, maybe secretly I'm just jealous.
[124] Really?
[125] Yeah.
[126] I think you're, you have cool stuff.
[127] What's happening?
[128] What's happening?
[129] I'm sorry, you have your, I think your house is really cool.
[130] What is happening?
[131] And you have, I am uncomfortable by this.
[132] You shouldn't be.
[133] I'm admitting to you that sometimes when I attack.
[134] somebody for something.
[135] It's because secretly I envy what they possess.
[136] You have a really cool arts and crafts home in Pasadena.
[137] Oh, no. Where it's 140 degrees in the summer.
[138] There's part of me that envies that.
[139] Arts and crafts home?
[140] Yeah.
[141] Yeah.
[142] It's a style.
[143] Craftsman.
[144] Yeah, I mean, but they can also call it.
[145] He can also call it.
[146] Is that true?
[147] That's the original term.
[148] That's the original term.
[149] Is that true?
[150] There's a movement.
[151] I didn't know that.
[152] Yeah.
[153] Well, also it means, it could also mean that his, his house was constructed by children.
[154] That's true.
[155] During a half hour period.
[156] Yeah, it was finger painted in elementary school.
[157] Elmer's glue.
[158] It is now that Glenn's running.
[159] No, you have a very, yeah, you have a nice, very nice set of.
[160] Let's move on.
[161] I didn't, I didn't expect this.
[162] Didn't that make you uncomfortable?
[163] That was nice to you?
[164] Yeah, you're still an incredible dork.
[165] Okay, thank you.
[166] That's better.
[167] That's better.
[168] Terra firma.
[169] We're back where we need to be.
[170] And Sona, if you're in any way need anything, please let us know.
[171] I don't like the way you, why'd your voice have to change just to be nice?
[172] Because I'm making fun of you.
[173] Yeah, you turn into Lucy Ricardo's boss.
[174] Lucille!
[175] Lucille!
[176] Lucille!
[177] I'm very excited about today's show.
[178] I'll tell you why my guest today, a very talented writer and musician, who authored the best -selling memoir, Crying in H -Mart.
[179] She's an amazing writer, and she's also the lead vocalist of the alt -pop band Japanese Breakfast.
[180] They are massive right now, very cool.
[181] I got to see her at Coachella, and I was blown away.
[182] So excited she's here today.
[183] Michelle Zonner, welcome.
[184] First of all, I am thrilled that you're here.
[185] I love that I'm talking to you.
[186] I was telling you just before we started recording that my daughter, Nev, is an insane, massive fan.
[187] Interestingly, this story begins a number of months ago when my daughter says, I want you to come with me to Coachella.
[188] and I say, sure, that's just the place for someone my age, right?
[189] So we start driving and my daughter did a really cool thing.
[190] She didn't tell me who the bands were, but she started playing me on the long drive.
[191] She started playing me all this different music in saying, you tell me who you think we should go see when we're there.
[192] And she's playing me all different kinds of music.
[193] And I'm saying, I like this one, I like that band.
[194] This one should be good.
[195] And then I singled out.
[196] She played me a couple songs and I said, this is the band we have to see.
[197] We have to see this band.
[198] And she said, correct.
[199] That is Japanese breakfast.
[200] That's amazing.
[201] Yeah.
[202] And she sort of said it like, there's hope for this old fool.
[203] So then we get to Coachella and she's played me so much of your music that I'm excited to see you.
[204] And we go to your tent show and you come out.
[205] and you're performing, and I think you're playing the song, Paprika, and there's a gong on stage, a small gong.
[206] And, you know, I'm someone who loves to be on stage, and I can tell when someone else loves to be on stage.
[207] You come out, you're kicking ass, I love your music, you're playing this on paprika, and it's so joyous, and you keep running over and hitting a gong.
[208] And I had never seen anybody do that before, and then you're back to playing a song, and then you rush over and hit the gong again.
[209] and I was, I'm in the crowd and I'm saying, I'm yelling at my daughter, gong, that's genius!
[210] Why didn't I do that?
[211] Years when I was doing a monologue every night at night, I should have said like, yeah, I'm like Donald Trump and then run over and hit a gong.
[212] Yeah.
[213] Why didn't I do that?
[214] I don't know.
[215] It's very cathartic.
[216] I highly recommend incorporating it.
[217] I want a gong.
[218] Yeah.
[219] At the next live podcast recording, you'll just have a gong next to you.
[220] And the cool thing is it's not a giant gong.
[221] It's a small, A smaller gong that makes like a crashing sound, right?
[222] I don't feel like it's that small.
[223] Well, it's not, the gongs I'm thinking of are the ones that are...
[224] Oh, like behind the who or something.
[225] Yes, exactly.
[226] Like Keith Moon would get up at the end, run over, and hit it.
[227] It would be like, gong!
[228] And it was kind of a joke, I guess.
[229] Yes, yeah.
[230] This was, yeah, it's not small, but...
[231] Yeah, don't call my gongs.
[232] I'm sorry.
[233] I'm sorry.
[234] I'm sorry.
[235] It's a sizable.
[236] gong.
[237] Wow.
[238] Michelle is walking out of the interview.
[239] Yeah.
[240] What happened?
[241] What did you say?
[242] I said the gong seemed kind of small to me. You did what?
[243] You gong shamed her.
[244] I gong shamed you.
[245] That's the worst thing you can do.
[246] And then I was just talking to you, I just mentioned that and you said you saw me in the crowd.
[247] I do stick out, I guess.
[248] Yes, yes.
[249] You're very tall.
[250] It's like Big Bird from Sesame Street.
[251] Check out your set.
[252] It was hard to not just like look at you when we were playing because we were all just like, oh my God, Conan O 'Brien is, like, watching us play.
[253] And so I felt like I really had to perform for you.
[254] And I feel like I was just, like, watching you and, like, hoping that you didn't, like, walk away.
[255] Right.
[256] That was, like, my marker.
[257] Yeah.
[258] But then looking, in retrospect, I feel like that must have been uncomfortable to be, like, someone's focal point.
[259] You stood in the middle of the crowd?
[260] No, there's, like, a VIP area on the side.
[261] Oh, yeah.
[262] But you weren't, like, blocking people behind.
[263] Because I don't want you to be the tall guy in the audience.
[264] Just, like, blocking everyone behind you?
[265] Why do you always have to go negative on me?
[266] Why can't this just be a joyous experience?
[267] When I'm hearing tall guy in the crowd, I just think those poor people behind you.
[268] Yeah, but this is the issue.
[269] Like, how tall is your daughter?
[270] My daughter is not super tall like me. Yeah, yeah.
[271] She's average -time.
[272] And she would have to suffer if he, or you'd have to be separated.
[273] The other thing I regret is I tried to, I tried to surf the crowd.
[274] Oh, man. And crushed, crushed 11 people.
[275] I just got really excited and I jumped up and it turned out they were all about 19 and they just buckle and small.
[276] Yeah.
[277] And they all buckled and also they were like, why you just ruined Japanese breakfast for us?
[278] We all have to go to the hospital now.
[279] Oh, no. Did you try starting a mosh pit too?
[280] I tried that too.
[281] I threw stuff on stage and I kept hoping that Michelle would call me up on stage to sing one of my numbers about growing up, you know, lonely and sad in Boston.
[282] But you didn't.
[283] I know.
[284] And I had these observations I just wanted to talk to you about because I've also read your beautiful book crying in Hmart, which got a lot of attention and love.
[285] It's a memoir, and I told you, it is so well written.
[286] You are half Korean, mom's Korean, dad's American, you're born in Seoul, but then moved to Eugene, Oregon.
[287] Yes.
[288] And live not just like in downtown Eugene.
[289] You live in the woods.
[290] Yes, yeah.
[291] Your last name is not Korean, but people are constantly in your life as a child trying to figure out who you are.
[292] And I get the sense that you're also trying to figure out who you are as a kid.
[293] Is that fair?
[294] Yeah, definitely.
[295] I mean, I think we all are.
[296] But yeah, it was certainly an added kind of a complication being in a very predominantly white neighborhood and feeling.
[297] You know, like I think when you're a teenager, sort of everything is embarrassing.
[298] You know, like you're embarrassed if you're taller than the rest of the students or, yeah.
[299] And so I think that for me, that was just really mortifying and I couldn't figure out why it felt like such a big deal for a long time.
[300] And, you know, people would come up to you, kids would come up to you and say, what are you?
[301] Right, right.
[302] They want to know, I mean, kids need to label, not always from a bad place, they just want to fix on who you are.
[303] Obviously, sometimes in a bad way, but I feel like, and you're very isolated because, as I said, you're way out there.
[304] Yeah.
[305] And so you're spending a lot of time in nature alone, but you're not always happy about it.
[306] Yeah.
[307] You want to, I think it's important, and it's another common thread with a lot of creative people, is they want to get out.
[308] They want to get out there and see what's going on.
[309] Right, right.
[310] Which felt like when I read your book, you were very interested in that.
[311] Like, how do I get out of here and see stuff?
[312] Yeah.
[313] I mean, I think it was also partially, like, both of my parents are from larger cities, and, like, it was sort of, you know, soul is like a huge city.
[314] and my dad is from Philadelphia and so I feel like they both just had very big personality so I was always gonna have a very big personality and my entire life I've been told to like calm down or be quiet I have like a very loud voice Wow you and I are kindred spirits I'm still being told to just shut up and calm down Yeah but I'm and then like once I moved to New York I was like oh I'm just like normal here This is great But yeah I come from So like you for people who don't know Like Eugene is like a real like hippie -dippy kind of of town like it's very granola like um so yeah it was just kind of like a weird it was a very beautiful childhood but it was a weird sort of environment and I think that that was a big part of why I became a very creative person because I was just bored because there was like no kids around there was like no neighbors I didn't have any siblings I was an only child and so I think I just got used to like spending a lot of time thinking about things and I think uh you just mentioned the word bored and I remember telling my wife early on when our daughter was born because we have, there's such a culture now of kids must be constantly stimulated, you know, they're like listening to Beethoven in the womb, then the minute they're born.
[315] The iPad babies.
[316] Exactly.
[317] They're constantly stimulated.
[318] And I remember saying to my wife and she agreed, I said, we have to leave room for boredom.
[319] Because boredom is where the good stuff comes from.
[320] It's, you know, whether it's guys in Liverpool's in the late 50s, like there's nothing to do.
[321] Let's make a band.
[322] because there's nothing to do, and it's raining out.
[323] And I think, especially at a place like Eugene Oregon, you know, you can't go outside and play every day.
[324] And it's raining most of the time.
[325] It's raining most of the time.
[326] And I think another thing that's really interesting is, obviously, you talk a lot in your book, it's very powerful about your connection with your mother and how complicated it is and how there were periods where you were really at odds.
[327] You cling to her as a child, and then there's adolescence, and you're really fighting her.
[328] And you talk about this relationship, and it feels like it was some of that was the catalyst, I have to think, for some of the creativity possibly, this turbulence.
[329] Yeah, I mean, I think if anything, it just made me realize, like, how, like, it really affirmed how badly I wanted it.
[330] You know?
[331] Because I think that it's almost like if your parents are like, oh, great.
[332] Like, yeah, go be an artist.
[333] You almost like don't want it anymore.
[334] And so I think that like her being so adverse to like me being following that path or just having so much concern about it made me so much more drawn to it.
[335] And so sure that that was the path I needed to take because there was just nothing else for me in a way.
[336] Well, it's also you, I mean, it took the wind out of me when I read it because you when you play when it.
[337] of your first gigs, you are sort of teaching yourself guitar and you take like this, you find the right, a pretty good teacher at a school that teaches a lot of people how to play guitar.
[338] It's a lesson factory.
[339] The lesson, literally, the lesson factory, which isn't a good name.
[340] You feel like what great art is going to come out of the lesson factory?
[341] It was like literally attached to a guitar center like we were bizarre.
[342] Right.
[343] Right, and everyone teaching you is enraged that their band didn't take off.
[344] Yeah, they're all, like, failed, like, Cragsett.
[345] Yeah, and so you have this first gig, and you play, and your parents come and see you, and you so much want your mother's approval.
[346] And you keep sort of bringing up the show, and then you get to this part in the book where you sort of say, like, well, would you think?
[347] And she said, I'm just waiting for you to quit this.
[348] Yeah.
[349] Which that's got to be devastating to hear.
[350] Yeah, but I mean, I think that it's a big reason of why I am still doing it in a way.
[351] I've been, I was sort of like told no many, many times for many years and just had a very, like, embarrassing career for like 10 years sleeping on like floor is strewn with like cat poop and, you know, trying to sleep while like a party.
[352] There or was it there naturally?
[353] It was there natural.
[354] Well, I didn't know if you laid it out.
[355] You think she laid out cat poop and then slept on it?
[356] Just because she thought that I've got to live the artist's life.
[357] Yeah, no. I used to do that.
[358] Yeah, yeah, yeah.
[359] It's very romantic.
[360] Yeah, I think that, I don't know.
[361] Now, like, when I look back at that, I'm like, that's exactly why you are the way that you are.
[362] Because, like, I don't know.
[363] I mean, she was, like, kind of setting me up for the rest of the world to do that.
[364] And so I kind of appreciate that now.
[365] Yeah.
[366] Yeah.
[367] You respond well to rejection.
[368] And you're, you know, feels to me like you're very strong person.
[369] And when you were told no, you double down.
[370] Is that time right?
[371] Yeah.
[372] I mean, but when you're a teenager, you're just like, I am like the next Paul McCartney or whatever, you know.
[373] So I think that you had like, you have like that kind of like teenage like courage and ego.
[374] But I don't know.
[375] I think that I came.
[376] I was always like kind of a ham.
[377] So I think that that kind of came naturally to me. Well, it's funny because I have, you know, in our offices here, I have this office that has next to nothing in it.
[378] Yeah.
[379] Is there a ham?
[380] There is a ham.
[381] It's hanging from a rope.
[382] And every now and then I just stand up and I take a chomp.
[383] What?
[384] Yeah.
[385] It's just hanging there and you eat it.
[386] Yeah, I don't even have to use my hands.
[387] I just chomp at it.
[388] But you got to refrigerate it, don't you?
[389] No, it's cured.
[390] Okay.
[391] Yeah, it's been there for four years.
[392] Man, we get off on these tangents and I, and I. I have a picture in my office, one of the only pictures I have, and someone took a picture of both my parents.
[393] I was doing some event.
[394] It was at the Kennedy Library.
[395] You were there, too.
[396] It was the Kennedy Library, and I was doing some event.
[397] And my parents were in the crowd, and this is maybe nine years ago.
[398] And someone took a picture of both of them laughing at something I said, and they gave it to me. So I framed it.
[399] And I have it on my desk because I have it on my desk because.
[400] as a reminder that that's the only reason I do this.
[401] I honestly think that.
[402] I mean, people have this idea that, oh, you want to make a lot of money and you wanted, you know, you wanted to have.
[403] And it's like, well, it's these other things come along that are really nice.
[404] But initially, so many of us are just trying to make both or one of those two people laugh or proud.
[405] I know that that's been, was a big theme in your book because the book is about you losing your mother who got cancer.
[406] at a fairly young age, and you spending a lot of time with her and processing all of this, there's a part in the book where you say, I don't know once she's gone, I mean, this all happened before Japanese breakfast.
[407] Who am I doing this for, if not for my mom?
[408] It raises the question of how do you negotiate that?
[409] You know, how did you, when did you come to a point where you realize, well, is somewhere my mom seeing this?
[410] Yeah, I mean, I think about that all the time as like a secular person of just, you know, I don't believe in an afterlife of any kind, but there's something like so magical about the way that things happened for me. You know, I've been playing music since I was 16 years old.
[411] And, you know, it took, I played house shows and, you know, no one cared about my band for a very long time.
[412] And after she died, I was like, I'm going to, you know, record one more record about this experience.
[413] And then, you know, I don't care what happens.
[414] I'll, like, press 500 copies and, you know, sell it out of, like, my basement over the course of, like, the next 10 years.
[415] And that, of course, was the record that kind of took off and really resonated with people.
[416] And it was like, oh, this is just, like, not quite the time to hang up my hat.
[417] And then after that, it was just, like, everything that happened just, like, felt like there was this, like, weird force that was kind of, like, looking out for me. And it's both, like, it's very bittersweet because my mom never got to see me experience any kind of success and was, like, so worried about living the life of an artist, but now it just kind of has to feel like she knows somehow or is, like, responsible for it.
[418] So you put this together, your mom passes away, and you decided, well, I'm going to go into advertising.
[419] Yeah, kind of, yeah.
[420] Which, you know, you don't hear of a lot.
[421] You don't hear of, like, Keith Richards saying, I'm going to do some advertising for a while.
[422] Yeah, I mean.
[423] Cads would be awful, by the way.
[424] Boy of Oakswagon.
[425] Fucking great car.
[426] Keith, over here.
[427] It's not a Volkswagen.
[428] It's a Buick.
[429] Ah, fuck.
[430] Sought off, you fucking.
[431] He's just napping.
[432] I love the trail off at the end.
[433] Oh, I've experienced it with him.
[434] We'll get back to you.
[435] I was in an S &L sketch once when I was super young.
[436] I was in my 20s, and Keith Richards was the musical guest, and it was live, and he was in the sketch also, and we're waiting for Tom Hanks to come around to us for our part of the sketch.
[437] Keith Richards, we're in the middle of a sketch that's live.
[438] He starts talking to me, and I'm holding a horse, which is important to know.
[439] And he thought that rather than me being a comedian who's supposed to say a line, I'm a comedy writer holding a horse.
[440] Wait, was it a real horse?
[441] It was a real horse.
[442] No, it wasn't.
[443] Yeah, yeah.
[444] It's a long, you can look it up online.
[445] Did they take it up in the elevator?
[446] No, yeah.
[447] There's plenty of...
[448] I guess there's like a freight elevator.
[449] There's a massive elevator at S &L that brings everything up.
[450] All the horses, yeah.
[451] No, I mean, they could get an elephant up there.
[452] I mean, I'm not kidding.
[453] They can, it was made to get incredible stuff up there.
[454] But I had a real horse and I'm holding it.
[455] And Keith Richards thought that I was the owner of the horse.
[456] And I'm...
[457] Like the handler.
[458] Like the handler.
[459] And that it was my horse.
[460] And he starts going, oh, oh.
[461] I said, man, they did it all.
[462] And I was like, please, please don't, okay, Tom Hanks is headed this way and we've got to say a line live on TV.
[463] I've got to say my line.
[464] My line is, please don't, Mr. Hanks.
[465] Don't touch him.
[466] That horse bites everyone.
[467] And I'm so young.
[468] I'm like 23.
[469] I'm going over the lines in my head.
[470] He's like, oh, horses, without them, we wouldn't have built civilization.
[471] And I keep going like, yes.
[472] No, normally you'd think you'd be.
[473] in a situation where you're talking to Keith Richards, you want hang on every word.
[474] Yeah, yeah.
[475] And I'm a huge Rolling Stones fan.
[476] Instead, I'm like, shut up.
[477] Shut up, shut up.
[478] I got to stay my line.
[479] Okay, Mr. Hanks, don't touch on horse.
[480] He bites everyone.
[481] Oh, I mean, you think about it.
[482] Ourses are the ones.
[483] You wanted Keith Richards and stop talking to you.
[484] Yes.
[485] Yeah.
[486] Well, I still, he still sometimes, yeah.
[487] he's got to learn to shut up that guy.
[488] There are certain themes that I've seen in my life, and sometimes it's almost when you give up and you're not trying anymore, and you get to a place of, okay, I made this, I put it out there.
[489] It's a message in a bottle, but I don't really need it to blow up.
[490] I don't need it to become this seminal record for me. And of course it does.
[491] Yeah.
[492] Isn't that weird?
[493] Yeah, I mean, I think in a way you're just like, When you let everything go and you have no ambitions or hopes for anything, you almost find this real version of yourself and that's what people cling to or they can feel it in this way.
[494] I feel like when people are trying to put on airs in a way, you can just like smell it from a mile away when something is like not.
[495] Like I always feel like I know when people aren't singing in their real voice and I feel like I kind of finally found that with that record.
[496] Because, yes, when something's forced, what I love is that audiences know it.
[497] Yeah.
[498] When I saw you perform, you just had this real joy of being out there.
[499] And the music is great, but that's also part of it, is I feel like this is therapeutic for you or life -giving to you.
[500] Yeah.
[501] I mean, I've wanted it for so long, and so it feels so great to get to do it, you know, with your friends and a bunch of people wearing flower crowns.
[502] I didn't have a flower crown.
[503] I was amazed at how people were, I saw many people wearing very little clothing there.
[504] It's very hot.
[505] You weren't wearing like your Daisy Dukes in like that woven vest or anything?
[506] I was wearing a thong.
[507] Oh, come on.
[508] What's, oh, come on.
[509] I'm trying to eat here.
[510] That's disgusting.
[511] I think my body's beautiful, Sona.
[512] I'm sorry.
[513] As an 11 people buckle below.
[514] His thong ass Trying to lift you up in your thong Don't touch the thong But pass me towards the stage I gotta hit that medium -sized gong That gong it's not quite to my size expectations Maybe it just looks small to you because you're very large Yes it's true It's true yes I know I know we're back on that I was amazed that your influences are I mean, it doesn't amaze me because there's so many influences, but I love how music, again, like so many other art forms, it's this, you put a bunch of stuff in the blender.
[515] So here you are, you're a very unique, special talent, and what are you listening to?
[516] You're listening to Motown.
[517] You're listening to Fleetwood Mac.
[518] You like the ya, yeah, yeah, as you're, there's all this stuff coming at you, and then when you come out with your music, it doesn't sound like that music.
[519] I know that it can be inspired by that music, but it's yours.
[520] Yeah.
[521] How did that happen?
[522] Explain that.
[523] It's magical to me. Did you ask him how it happened?
[524] Yeah.
[525] It kind of sounded like you were asking coffee.
[526] I'll tell you how it happened.
[527] I have to do both sides of this.
[528] Well, it's all because I spent so much time in Korea.
[529] Making kimchi.
[530] I did go to Seoul.
[531] Yeah.
[532] Oh, I watched the, I feel like I've watched.
[533] You had like a very unenthused, like, tutor or something.
[534] Yes, I had a...
[535] She was, like, not.
[536] Yeah.
[537] Oh, well, that's my specialty is finding people.
[538] I love finding people who are not having it with me. Yeah, yeah.
[539] But Stephen Young came with me, and we made a K -pop video.
[540] I didn't see that part.
[541] Oh, you got to see the K -pop video.
[542] And who was in that?
[543] Do you remember who was in the K -pop video?
[544] There was some band that since has, like, completely blown up.
[545] There was a girl group called Twice.
[546] Oh, yeah, yeah.
[547] So we got a great picture with you and Stephen in like a million K -pop girls.
[548] There was like an airplane set where you get thrown out of an airplane.
[549] You're not leaving this until I'm going to make you watch.
[550] It's going to be.
[551] Your K -pop video.
[552] You're going to have to watch my K -Pop video.
[553] No, I think we lip sync.
[554] Oh, no, they did have me. Yes, when we recorded the track.
[555] They did make me sing something, and they basically said it fanatically, and I did my best, whatever it was into the mic.
[556] You did pretty well, I think.
[557] Yeah, I can carry a tune, you know.
[558] No, I meant in terms of saying, I mean, you can carry a tune.
[559] I was talking about your Korean.
[560] You did okay.
[561] I tried, but as you know, the culture is, I was fascinated.
[562] I was fascinated by soul.
[563] Really fascinated.
[564] You're right.
[565] It is so much bigger than you would ever expect.
[566] And I was also fascinated by people knew that I was there.
[567] And so these young very shy, it's very Korean, I think, to put your hand over your mouth.
[568] These young women would come up and they'd have their hand in front of their mouth.
[569] Yeah.
[570] And they'd be very shy and very giggly and say, could they have a selfie?
[571] Yeah.
[572] And I'd say, sure.
[573] And they're very like, oh, thank you.
[574] And then they'd be leaning for the selfie.
[575] And suddenly their whole body would change.
[576] And they'd go from this to.
[577] Yeah.
[578] Like that, and then they're back to, and I would say to them, which is the real you?
[579] Yeah.
[580] And they think they both are.
[581] Yeah.
[582] I find myself doing that, too.
[583] I think I'm just, like, afraid of, like, accidentally spitting on some one.
[584] You know, it's like, when you're really excited, when you're really excited, you're like, I hope that I, like, don't lose control of, like, my faculties.
[585] And so I feel, like, some protective shields.
[586] I mean, I think you were way ahead of the curve, COVID.
[587] Very.
[588] Yeah.
[589] you are not from that culture sona and neither am i no we don't care if we're spitting all over people yeah yeah i lose my faculties all the time and i'm loud too so i'm yeah we have that in common in the book you talk about it so much and i mentioned it you talk about food and i'm wondering and and i i put down your book and i as moved as i was i also wanted to fly to soul and have all of this food.
[590] Yeah, did you enjoy it?
[591] I loved the food there.
[592] But you were describing so many dishes that I don't think I tried.
[593] And I'm curious, have you, because that was such an important part of your growing up and your bond with your mother and H -Mart was where you could get all this incredible food.
[594] I think I went to the big market, you mentioned.
[595] Yeah, probably.
[596] I went there, and that's where I bought a squid that I was supposed to eat.
[597] Samuel, the octopus.
[598] Oh, the octopus.
[599] Was it moving?
[600] It was moving, and I, bought it and instead tweeted out that I was going to keep it alive and people in Seoul got really behind, like, he's going to save the octopus.
[601] I've, like, never gotten more shit for eating that in the book.
[602] Like, I did, like, an interview, and so many people got really upset.
[603] Why?
[604] About, I don't know, because they watched that, like, an octopus documentary.
[605] Oh.
[606] Now I'm, like, a monster.
[607] Right.
[608] But it's so good.
[609] Yeah, and I just, like, I really don't think it's that different from any other.
[610] you know, products that we, like meats that we eat, you know.
[611] But yeah, I feel like that octopus documentary came out and everyone, you know, became a crusader.
[612] Yeah.
[613] I hope there's not a hamburger documentary.
[614] I think they're a ham documentary.
[615] You know, pigs often write diaries.
[616] What?
[617] They track all of their thoughts.
[618] Some of them have even written pretty good physics equations.
[619] Damn it!
[620] I'm still going to eat that ham.
[621] Yeah, well, if they were really that smart, they wouldn't be getting eaten.
[622] Oh, for God's sake.
[623] Sona.
[624] So you're a defense for the octopus.
[625] You're saying to the octopus, hey, if you're so smart, yeah.
[626] Avoid that octopus trap.
[627] Yeah, yeah, yeah.
[628] Why are you walking into that trap, octopus?
[629] You walk in there, I'm going to eat you.
[630] Okay.
[631] Well, here's the good thing is Sona's going to take the heat now.
[632] Yeah.
[633] Take the pita.
[634] You know, I love that you were, you're inspired by sort of sci -fi.
[635] There's like sci -fi, you know, mood and also video game music, which I think is really cool because I didn't ever think of video game music as being sort of a genre or an inspiration.
[636] Of course, I grew up at a time when video game music was just go -d -do, go -go -go -go -go -woo.
[637] What game is that?
[638] It was a very early game.
[639] Like Ms. Pac -Man was like, oh, oh.
[640] I was getting a lot of disappointing noises because I wasn't good.
[641] Nice try, loser.
[642] That was your inner monologue.
[643] Oh, that wasn't even, come to think of it, I wasn't playing a game.
[644] His inner monologue is just Miss Pac -Man.
[645] Melting.
[646] Yeah.
[647] That's why I've never been able to be intimate with anyone.
[648] Oh, I really like you.
[649] Thank you.
[650] Let's get down.
[651] Yeah, a loser.
[652] What?
[653] Miss Pac -Man, get out of my head.
[654] Trying to get it on.
[655] This is such a stupid interview, I apologize.
[656] You're such a talented person.
[657] I'm sorry.
[658] You deserve better.
[659] You do deserve a real interviewer.
[660] But recently, my son, who's 17, started listening to all this music, and I said, where's this come from?
[661] And he said, it's gaming music.
[662] But I was listening to it, and it's really good.
[663] Yeah.
[664] So when did that, when did you start to notice?
[665] Was this something that was always happening where you're noticing different sounds that you liked?
[666] I guess so.
[667] I mean, I was such an indoor kid that I just really enjoyed playing video games and was gifted like a Super Nintendo and I was five and I always really enjoyed it.
[668] And I think it's really, I'm going to do a really bad job of expressing this, but I think it's a really interesting art form to interact with because there are games that like sort of force you to make these kind of.
[669] like moral decisions.
[670] And it's like the only time that you're like actively a part of like the medium in that way that makes you kind of like question your morality.
[671] So for instance, there's this game called Stardue Valley.
[672] Have you heard of it?
[673] It's like a forming game.
[674] And I think it's really interesting that like you can play games that like have you like kill someone, which you would never do in real life.
[675] But there is like a there's this a thing called Joja March where it's like the corporation and you can choose whether or not you want to like go to.
[676] the local seed this is good I like this to go to the local seed shop or like go to a cheaper corporation and somehow like I've never gone to the corporation like in the game and because that's like crossing a moral line within the game but you can like in other games you like stab someone and it's fine but I think it's really interesting to like interact with but it's interesting that I mean I find it fascinating that you can games are getting to so sophisticated that you're making moral choices.
[677] Yeah.
[678] And what's really interesting is like first -person shooter games, you're basically killing people left and right, but somehow we've been inculcated that there's this, it's not real, you know, it's not real.
[679] And I have no...
[680] There are certain things that are, like, more triggering the others.
[681] Like, I think it was, my husband was playing like Red Dead Redemption or something or, like, some game where, like, you had, oh, oh.
[682] If you know the game, chime in, Blay.
[683] Maybe it's, it's like, it's not Skyrim, but it's like a similar game.
[684] game to that.
[685] And, like, he had to, like, kill a couple of, like, dogs that were, like, attacking him or whatever.
[686] And for some reason, like, all of the people that he had to, like, fight was okay.
[687] But, like, when you hit the dog and it makes the sound, it's like, there's something, like, really horrifying about that, you know?
[688] I completely understand.
[689] I was watching a movie last week and people are getting, humans are getting off left and right.
[690] And then someone, like, kicked a small bear.
[691] Yeah.
[692] And the bear went, like, and I couldn't, I left the room.
[693] I couldn't handle it.
[694] Yeah.
[695] I think that that's a really interesting.
[696] I think there's like a bartle me short story called like the gerbil and it's all of these like terrible things happen in the class like you know first it's like the gerbil dies and then it's like a kid like falls off of you know a play thing or whatever and then they get a puppy and when the puppy dies that's the moment like that really right that's like the height of uh tragedy not like this like a child that fell in the story but a lot of kids suck you know i mean they do they're just such asshole I want my chocolate milk you know I usually applaud when a child falls this is our last podcast this is a successful podcast and you're a very lovely talented person you've done nothing wrong but somehow you've brought it out of us it's your fault no that's hilarious to me I don't know I was thinking about because I can't remember where we were where were we I just had a really good laugh and Sony you don't pay attention oh video games Oh yeah yeah yeah And the morality of video games I know that it feels to me like when I listen to your music one of the things and I think I even heard you say this that you like this kind of heroes versus villains dichotomy between good, evil but how the line is blurred and I always find that fascinating because I love movies occasionally I'll love a movie where there's you know you watch die hard and you know who the good guy is and the bad guy is Hans Gruber, and there's no mistake in that.
[697] But I'm more drawn to the movies that I think I have more of a European bent where, I don't know, it's interesting.
[698] There are people who seem like the bad guy and people who seem like the good guy, but the lines get blurred, and you feel like everybody's just trying to do their own thing and havoc ensues.
[699] I mean, I think that's like the purpose of art, really, is to just, like, find humanity in people, you know?
[700] I mean, I think my favorite shows are shows like the Sopranos or, like, where, you know, you're, you're rooting, you feel conflicting because you're rooting for a murder.
[701] And I think it puts everything into perspective, you know.
[702] I mean, I've, I'm like on my.
[703] You obviously watched, you must have watched Sopranos on the second go around, right?
[704] Because you seem, or no, or you seem young to have watched the Sopranos.
[705] I remember when, I remember when it was coming out, like, my parents would, like, I think, I wonder how old I was.
[706] I feel like, I was definitely too young to watch the Sopranos.
[707] But my parents, like, loved the show so much.
[708] And I remember, like, getting sent out of the room every time, like, Bada being seen came up.
[709] Oh, right, right, right.
[710] But, yeah, I mean, I've rewatched it many times since, and I feel like that's that element of that show.
[711] And I feel the same way about Game of Thrones, too, where you're just, like, I love, like, being manipulated to, like, hate someone in the, and then in the next scene, like, kind of, like, really fall for them.
[712] And I think that that's what great art should do.
[713] It's funny you say that because I just rewatched all the Sopranos.
[714] I made it a mission, and I watched all of them in like a month on my own.
[715] And there's a terrific book about The Sopranos by two writers, I think, from the Star -Ledger, I want to say.
[716] And it's just a great essay about each episode.
[717] So I would watch the episode, then read this essay.
[718] And I just got so much meaning out of re -watching it.
[719] And I'm just starting to, my son's never seen Game of Thrones, so we're just starting to watch it.
[720] Although that's difficult because there's full -on crazy nude sex sometimes.
[721] And when you're a dad sitting in the room with your son, both of us want to die.
[722] Yeah, yeah, yeah.
[723] Both of us just want to make our heart stop through sheer force of will and die.
[724] Because it's not, you can't even pretend it's not happening.
[725] And you're not like, oh, this is cool sex.
[726] I'm cool, you know, about sex stuff.
[727] Oh, no, no. You can just do what my parents did and like send him out of the room.
[728] You know, in the sixth sense, you knew a ghost was in the room because they could see their breath?
[729] When I'm watching television and sex is, and anyone else is in the room and sex is graphically depicted, suddenly I can see my breath.
[730] Suddenly, it's like this vapor coming out of my mouth.
[731] And it always happens just beforehand.
[732] I know it's coming.
[733] And then, sure enough, swang, da, da, da -da -da -da -dab -da, you know.
[734] That is the worst sound for any.
[735] sexual scene I've ever heard of.
[736] You don't think that's an accurate thwang thubba da da da da da da da da da da we have a professional musicologist artist here who will vouch that that is the exact way it sounds.
[737] You're going to rip me off too.
[738] I know in your next album you're going to have a huge hit with swang thubba da da da da da da da.
[739] And the Grammy for best single.
[740] Japanese breakfast with swang tubba da da da da da da da da da and I'll be like I know I'm going to get mentioned nope you mention all your friends all your cool pals and not one word for me what's your process how do you I'm I don't I don't know from that to what's your problem well I want to know I've never written a song I play guitar I often have a guitar with me I play guitar all the time I love it I'm always playing other people's music.
[741] I've never tried to write a song, and I think I have a block against it.
[742] I don't know.
[743] I don't think I could be emotionally vulnerable and write a song.
[744] If I wrote a song, it would be...
[745] I think there's a lot of people that aren't emotionally vulnerable in their songs.
[746] Oh, that's true.
[747] So you're meaning...
[748] I feel like twang tamper tampera taku, like a chumba -wamba.
[749] You know?
[750] Oh, get knocked down!
[751] Yeah, I mean, like, I don't...
[752] I guess it has vulnerability in it, now that I think about it.
[753] I don't know.
[754] I mean, I've talked to...
[755] Like, do you think WAP has a lot of vulnerability?
[756] Oh, my God.
[757] Like, you could have, like, a hype anthem.
[758] Like, maybe that's more of your direction.
[759] Maybe that more, like a bragging.
[760] Yeah.
[761] I'm all that.
[762] Yeah.
[763] Right.
[764] No one wants to probably hear me open up about my inner hurt.
[765] No. I mean, maybe they do.
[766] No, they don't.
[767] But there are many, you know, in.
[768] Oh, my God.
[769] You know what I also saw.
[770] I mean, I know this has probably been commented on a lot.
[771] But we went and saw, we went over and saw Megan the Stallion.
[772] perform.
[773] And there's a person, a woman doing sign language.
[774] Oh, yeah.
[775] And people must, I'm sure they all notice this and it's been talked about in their videos.
[776] But I was in the crowd watching this woman, she's singing the lyrics.
[777] She's singing the lyrics and it is hardcore.
[778] And this woman who looks like she would, you know, break into a telethon on PBS and say, if you'd like to get your tote bag, the number is one, three, two, three, 44.
[779] This woman's there and, you know, She's acting out with her hands.
[780] Yeah.
[781] The most graphic stuff with no expression on her face.
[782] Oh, no. No. Some of them are really, like, stoked, though.
[783] Like, they have, like, their own performance style.
[784] Right.
[785] That's a whole other.
[786] And they, like, dance along with it while they're, like, saying.
[787] I've seen those.
[788] Those are fun.
[789] Yeah, yeah, yeah.
[790] Especially at rap show.
[791] They're amazing.
[792] Because they know all the stuff beforehand and they get really into it.
[793] Right.
[794] I mean, you could go down a YouTube rabbit hole of sign language interpreters.
[795] I was blown away by that.
[796] I mean, I couldn't, I had a hard time paying attention to McGee Stallion.
[797] I just, because my eyes were riveted on this woman.
[798] I was just amazed by and what she was.
[799] Her deadpan, like.
[800] Yeah, I mean, she wasn't exactly deadpan, but also she also looked like I might have to leave soon to close the library.
[801] You know, it's, but I don't know how you, do you consciously sit down to write a song or does something come to you?
[802] Yeah, I feel like very, when I was younger, I feel like I was like waiting for the spirit to possess me or something.
[803] thing, but now I feel like it's more of like a faucet.
[804] You know, like I feel like I put myself in an environment that I know is, it's going to be conducive to, like, writing.
[805] Like, I go into, like, a forest or something, like a cottage in the woods.
[806] And you write on the guitar?
[807] I do usually write on the guitar.
[808] For the last record, I kind of tried to, like, find new ways to push myself out of my comfort zone and write on piano or, you know.
[809] Sometimes I actually just draw, like, on a midi board of, like, because I don't have, like, a very strong theory knowledge.
[810] So if I hear the chord I want, it's actually really helpful, you can, like, drag a bar of, like, a, do you know what MIDI is?
[811] I don't.
[812] It's, I don't know, it's just, like, a, like, I don't know, like, you can, like, drag a note sort of, like, on a graph, and, like, it will make a sound.
[813] Is it a program?
[814] Can you please explain that?
[815] It's a language.
[816] Yeah.
[817] So it's, like, a computer language that allows you to write music.
[818] You can transpose every note or chord via this MIDI language.
[819] and it'll spit out the note and you can make chords.
[820] It's the way all modern music is now mostly made, you know, via computers.
[821] So you could say if you knew, okay, it's a G, but it's not a G. I want it to have something, I want it to have a slightly different.
[822] You could on MIDI maybe play with the G and get a G suspended seventh or ninth without knowing that that's what you're getting.
[823] Exactly.
[824] Okay, that's cool.
[825] Yeah, yeah.
[826] So you can like have the G on the B. bass and then like with another note like drag it until it makes the sound you're like oh it's that chord and that sometimes that would take me a much longer time to find on the guitar with my personal do you um do you think that it might learning theory might actually get in the way of your creative process ever yeah i mean i started taking some lessons i mean i hear that uh like but in in my experience like even just like learning a very very small amount of theory has been really helpful for me because you're just like, oh, I can't believe I got this far without like knowing what makes certain songs interesting.
[827] I'm just curious because I've never had any of that and I'm now even at this stage in life thinking, I think I need a teacher now.
[828] I mean, you know, it's been years and years and years of me having people kind of show me songs I want to play or riffs I want to play.
[829] And so I think I have a jukebox in my, when I pick up a guitar, there's a lot of songs I can play.
[830] Yeah.
[831] Yeah.
[832] But I don't know what how the hell it all works.
[833] Right, right.
[834] And maybe knowing how it worked would be fun for me at this stage.
[835] I think so.
[836] And I think that like even if you learn too much in a way that inhibits you, there's always ways to like kind of unlearn it.
[837] Like I found that I took, you know, some more guitar lessons and found that was helpful.
[838] And then when it was no longer helpful, then you can just like put a capo on or change the tuning and then you just, you don't know any more what you're doing.
[839] So I feel like there are weird tricks to like get to protect yourself from from that ruining something.
[840] But for me, I found it to be really helpful.
[841] And I feel like when you listen to music, I mean, there's a way to interact with music that's like, oh, that's like hunting or that's interesting or then, you know, or that's just like a minor third, you know?
[842] Yeah.
[843] And I feel like you're all like chasing.
[844] They're just like different ways to like chase a feeling.
[845] All I ever heard when I was first playing guitar, some guy told me, minor chords are the ones that make girls fall in love with you.
[846] And I was like, really?
[847] And then sure enough, you play an A minor and you're like, well, I did and nothing happened.
[848] No one was interested.
[849] But you could kind of see like, oh, I see what minor chords do.
[850] Yeah, yeah.
[851] You know, E is like, yeah, but E minor.
[852] He's kind of dreamy, said no one.
[853] Well, this has been a joy.
[854] It's been an absolute joy.
[855] Thank you so much.
[856] Thank you for giving me street cred with my daughter.
[857] Oh, I'm so.
[858] Nev is, you know, I'm going to lord this over her.
[859] and she actually last night so I had read your book and had been listening a lot to your music and then she called me last night to just make sure that I didn't screw things up today She sounds so cool I'm very indebted to her She's very cool But I'm indebted to her For bringing me to Coachella so that I got to see you do your thing And I love that you came in and talk to me This is amazing Thank you for having me. Thank you all.
[860] Well, don't thank them.
[861] They don't really do much.
[862] He's on Midi.
[863] He just defined Midi, which was incredible.
[864] Yeah, but he's basically, he's been watching.
[865] I had my own, like, Miss Pac -Man just, like, melting down.
[866] Midi, it's kind of a, whee.
[867] You idiot.
[868] And we got to write that song.
[869] What is it?
[870] Thang, thubba -da -d -dubba -da -thubba -da -thub -da.
[871] I'm telling you, that's going to be huge.
[872] Yeah.
[873] You can come out in your song when you perform it.
[874] That's going to be right up there with.
[875] What does it, jump around?
[876] Yeah, no. I got to wear a Celtics jersey and jump around in my video.
[877] Whang, thabbada, da -da -dab -da.
[878] You know, white guys jumping around.
[879] Yeah, that sounds like a good plan.
[880] We're wearing a Boston shirt.
[881] Yeah, that could be your thing.
[882] Sure, yeah, it's so lovable.
[883] Michelle, thank you so much.
[884] Thank you.
[885] Thank you.
[886] Not too long ago on a Conan O 'Brien needs a fan episode, we spoke to Carlos, who does a drag act, and his drag character's name was Red Velvet.
[887] And we workshoped trying to come up with a drag character name for you, which is interesting because in a recent episode, Cherry Stag came up, which is pretty good.
[888] Well, Cherry Stag, yeah, we were talking to a gentleman in England.
[889] He lives in a very old town in England, and I noticed he was drinking something as we were having the interview, and he said, it's a red stag.
[890] Cherry stag.
[891] Right.
[892] Which I didn't know.
[893] Do you know that drink?
[894] I don't know.
[895] No, I've never heard of that.
[896] Sounds good.
[897] Yeah.
[898] I don't know what he said it was.
[899] But, and then it came up that that would be a good drag name for me. Well, some fans have written in with a wonderful list of some possible drag names for you.
[900] Okay.
[901] This is good.
[902] I have very creative fans, and I'm sure these are top -notch.
[903] Yeah.
[904] They are.
[905] Anna suggests Conan the Barbara.
[906] Oh.
[907] Okay.
[908] That's pretty good.
[909] Yeah, that's not bad.
[910] This is one I thought of myself, too, when I was editing the episode and was going to title it this, The Red Menace.
[911] That's pretty good.
[912] Oh, that's not bad.
[913] Okay.
[914] Because I am kind of a menace.
[915] Yeah.
[916] But that doesn't feel draggy to me. The Red Menace.
[917] That's just kind of what you are in real life.
[918] Yes, yes.
[919] That's more of my real name.
[920] It should be The Red Menace.
[921] I'm going to call you that.
[922] That was Philip Spiegel who sent that in.
[923] Okay.
[924] Jonathan V suggested translucent long stocking.
[925] Yeah.
[926] Translucent longstocking.
[927] You know, I like it.
[928] I like it.
[929] Lily says, pomp adore.
[930] That one's my favorite.
[931] That's pretty good.
[932] Pump, adore.
[933] I mean, I like translucent longstocking, too, but that's a mouthful.
[934] Yeah, it is for an MC to go and here's translucent lockstock.
[935] You know, that's a lot to get out.
[936] Yeah, yeah, yeah.
[937] So pump a door.
[938] Yeah, two words.
[939] Pump.
[940] Pump.
[941] No, pomp.
[942] It is pomp, but I get what you're going.
[943] No, I thought it was pompadour.
[944] No, but pumpador is good too.
[945] Oh, I like pump.
[946] It's pompadour.
[947] Okay.
[948] It's pomp.
[949] I know the word is pompadore, but I'm saying I thought she was doing pump.
[950] Like two puns.
[951] She was punt.
[952] Like, you know, when you're like, you know, pump.
[953] Oh, I thought you meant I need a pump.
[954] Oh, God.
[955] A pump on, what are you going to pump?
[956] Well, you have to pump it up like a basketball?
[957] Like you have to hide the peepee.
[958] when you're doing drag.
[959] You don't...
[960] Oh, trust me, I've been tucking for a long time.
[961] You've got to let the air out.
[962] In just regular life?
[963] Just my jeans fit better.
[964] Right now?
[965] Yeah.
[966] Oh, I'm tucked.
[967] Yeah.
[968] Way back.
[969] I just find it's a...
[970] The jeans fit.
[971] Everything just fits better.
[972] Yeah.
[973] Are you tucking it behind on the outset?
[974] Are you tucking it in a little pocket somewhere or something?
[975] We don't need...
[976] We don't need to, but we want to know.
[977] Oh, no. We don't.
[978] I tuck straight back And then I use It's electricians tape To just hold everything Sort of where it needs to be So if you didn't tape it There'd be like almost like a little lever Coming about the back Like a little lacracker I think that's enough I just say a little lever I think that's enough I look like from the behind I look like a slot machine I think that's enough Yeah you just pull that crank And you see what comes out Oh God Was it Buffalo Bill in Silence of the Lambs?
[979] who was also doing that?
[980] Yeah.
[981] Is that...
[982] That's where I learned how to do it.
[983] Oh, okay.
[984] I was like, oh, okay, that might help...
[985] That just might be a good idea.
[986] I'm more aerodynamic.
[987] This is back when I ran trap.
[988] So I learned to...
[989] So you tucked and ran?
[990] Oh, you tuck and run.
[991] That seems virtually impossible because you have to use the friction of your legs to keep it in.
[992] Listen, I don't know how you run, but I'm going to tell you that when...
[993] I'm just, if anyone out there is a sprinter or even if you're doing distance, a tuck and run.
[994] And you go...
[995] I mean, there's so much less wind resistance.
[996] You really move fast.
[997] You just, you, you fly through the air.
[998] It's incredible.
[999] Okay.
[1000] What a stupid and awful conversation.
[1001] I would love if the topic changed right now.
[1002] What's the next name?
[1003] Can we please stop talking?
[1004] Isn't this a pump, by the way?
[1005] That's what you were saying from.
[1006] Oh, I thought what, see, I was thinking.
[1007] That's why I thought it was like pun -full, because it's a shoe, it's pump.
[1008] I don't think you thought of the shoe, to be honest with you.
[1009] You know why I did think of the shoe, but that's not a drag.
[1010] shoe.
[1011] A pump is not a drag shoe.
[1012] Yeah.
[1013] Stilettos are drag shoes, I think.
[1014] Have you ever worn heels?
[1015] I'm not, I have in sketches.
[1016] I've had to, I've had to wear heels in sketches sometimes in the past and don't understand how anybody does that for eight seconds, more than eight seconds.
[1017] It is horrific.
[1018] Yeah, it is.
[1019] It is.
[1020] I don't know how women do it.
[1021] Me either.
[1022] Makes our legs look good.
[1023] Does it?
[1024] Yeah.
[1025] It does.
[1026] It just does.
[1027] But it is horrible.
[1028] I hate heels.
[1029] Yeah.
[1030] Have you worn heels and tucked?
[1031] Oh, well, yeah.
[1032] If I'm going to...
[1033] Matt.
[1034] If I'm going to tuck, I might as well wear heels as well.
[1035] Matt, why are we doing that?
[1036] If you're going to do one, you might as well do the other.
[1037] You're halfway there.
[1038] Go for it.
[1039] Okay.
[1040] Here we go.
[1041] Let's not have there be a whole thing about, you know, I am whatever, I am a straight male, but I like to tuck.
[1042] Okay.
[1043] Okay.
[1044] All right.
[1045] Let's just move past it.
[1046] All right.
[1047] The next one's from Matt Goreley.
[1048] Friar tuck Friar tuck I like friar tuck And I would get The monk's haircut Where it's 12 on top And there's a fringe And I would be fry I like friard tuck Have you been to a drag show ever You know what drag is?
[1049] No for someone who tucks constantly And likes to wear heels I'm shocked That I haven't been to a drag show Oh my gosh Shocked Magnolia suggests Strawberry Tall Cake Oh, okay I see that Seth Moore suggests Lady Fred von Rick Toffin who of course you would know is the Red Baron Of course Yeah Paul Hieronymus suggests The Jinja Ninja by Paul Hieronymus That's not bad Yeah Yeah I mean I like Friar Tuck a lot Ginger Ninja You know Friar Tuck is a joke one That Matt just I know Oh okay but you like it I do If someone had called in Why do we disqualify Matt?
[1050] Yeah.
[1051] Just because he said Friar Tuck and I liked it.
[1052] Okay.
[1053] I get royalties on that too.
[1054] Okay.
[1055] Okay.
[1056] Yeah, we'll make a lot of money.
[1057] Yeah, that's going to be so much.
[1058] Windfall right there.
[1059] And that's essentially the long and short of it.
[1060] There's some really good ones in there.
[1061] Yeah.
[1062] A lot to think about here.
[1063] Ginger Ninja is very good.
[1064] I don't know.
[1065] You know, Fryer Tuck.
[1066] You might have it, Matt.
[1067] Wow.
[1068] Okay.
[1069] There it is.
[1070] But I think.
[1071] You know, I don't know a lot about drag.
[1072] Like, I don't know that I would be a good performer in drag.
[1073] I think you're a great performer as yourself.
[1074] I don't think you have the chops for drag.
[1075] I'm sorry.
[1076] What is it you think?
[1077] Be honest.
[1078] What am I lacking?
[1079] There is a level of showmanship that I think goes beyond what you've been trained to do.
[1080] And that is a lot of letting go and a lot of, you know, just enjoying it.
[1081] Plus, like, a certain amount of elegance and kind of technique.
[1082] Yes.
[1083] technique.
[1084] So there aren't any drag queens whose character is very uptight, self -loathing.
[1085] That's not like a way to go.
[1086] That is, yeah, no, that doesn't seem to draw a lot of crowds in.
[1087] But maybe you can be groundbreaking in that sense, be the first drag queen that people are going to be depressed when they go see that.
[1088] What is RuPaul's show?
[1089] Is it RuPaul's Drag race?
[1090] Drag race.
[1091] If you can get on RuPaul's drag race.
[1092] Well, you said you're aerodynamic and it's a race.
[1093] That's true.
[1094] But I mean, I'm halfway there.
[1095] I know how to do some of it.
[1096] You're way less than halfway there.
[1097] Way, way less than halfway there.
[1098] You have so much work to do.
[1099] Do you want to be on RuPaul's drag race as like a contestant?
[1100] I think I should just be there to, you know, consult on lighting.
[1101] I don't think I should have anything to do with being in drag because I think I would be absolutely terrible.
[1102] Yeah, you know you know you would.
[1103] I'm not saying anything that's hurting your feelings.
[1104] You know you wouldn't be good at drag.
[1105] No, I wouldn't be good at drag.
[1106] All right.
[1107] we learned a lot here and we also learned nothing.
[1108] Yeah.
[1109] Which is really the formula of this program.
[1110] Once again, we broke even.
[1111] So much conversation about tucking though that I just Oh, you brought it back.
[1112] So you keep it going?
[1113] No, no, no, we're good.
[1114] I think that's wrap it up.
[1115] All right.
[1116] Sometimes you have to wrap it up to tuck it.
[1117] Okay.
[1118] A little mummy.
[1119] Mumify it.
[1120] Okay.
[1121] Especially if you're not going to use.
[1122] Just let it dehydrate a little.
[1123] Are you mammifying it?
[1124] you got to kind of let it shrink a little and then get it up.
[1125] What are you talking?
[1126] You've thought about this a lot.
[1127] I don't even have a penis and I know that doesn't make sense.
[1128] Come on, I'd be so much better at tucking than the two of you.
[1129] Ooh, that sounds like a challenge.
[1130] Someone, give me a penis.
[1131] Well, I left mine at home.
[1132] My wife took mine in 2009.
[1133] All right, let's wrap it up.
[1134] Please God.
[1135] Conan O 'Brien needs a friend.
[1136] With Conan O 'Brien, Sonam Ossessian, and Matt Goorley.
[1137] Produced by me, Matt Goreley.
[1138] Executive produced by Adam Sacks, Joanna Solitaroff, and Jeff Ross at Team Koko, and Colin Anderson and Cody Fisher at Earwolf.
[1139] Theme song by The White Stripes.
[1140] Incidental music by Jimmy Vivino.
[1141] Take it away, Jimmy.
[1142] Our supervising producer is Aaron Blair, and our associate talent producer is Jennifer Samples.
[1143] Engineering by Eduardo Perez.
[1144] Additional production support by Mars Melnik.
[1145] Talent booking by Paula Davis, Gina Batista, and Britt You can rate and review this show on Apple Podcasts, and you might find your review read on a future episode.
[1146] Got a question for Conan?
[1147] Call the Team Coco hotline at 323 -451 -2821 and leave a message.
[1148] It too could be featured on a future episode.
[1149] And if you haven't already, please subscribe to Conan O 'Brien needs a friend on Apple Podcasts, Stitcher, or wherever fine podcasts are downloaded.
[1150] This has been a Team Coco production in association with Earwolf.