The Match

[0] This is Hidden Brain.

[1] I'm Shankar Vedantam.

[2] We get messages all the time from listeners who say the show has helped them think differently about the world and about themselves.

[3] As producers, nothing is more rewarding or gratifying.

[4] A while back, we heard a listener story that especially moved us.

[5] Hello, Shankar and Hidden Brain team.

[6] My name is Audrey Holmgren.

[7] The point of this message is to send you a huge thank you.

[8] as your show is the leading reason for one of the biggest decisions of my life.

[9] Today, we tell you what happened.

[10] It's a tale about two friends and how our show played a small role in their dramatic story.

[11] We begin with a young man named Alex Eastman.

[12] Growing up in Colorado Springs, Alex was obsessed with sports and exercise.

[13] So when I was in high school, nothing really stopped me. I mean, I played sports all through high school.

[14] I was a year -round player.

[15] I did a baseball, wrestling, and I played football.

[16] But, I mean, even outside of those sports, I was consistently, you know, at the gym with all my friends are in high school, playing basketball or working out, going on hikes.

[17] But something happened in the summer of 2011 when Alex was 18.

[18] The biggest time that I finally hit me that something was wrong was when I was camping with my family out in John Martin Reservoir here in Colorado.

[19] And it was like 100 degrees outside.

[20] And I started feeling ill when my grandparents had a camper.

[21] So I ended up going into the camper and passing out in their bed.

[22] Like wrapped up in the blankets because I thought it was so cold.

[23] and I drenched the bed and sweat.

[24] So my parents at that point were like, yeah, no, we need to take him to the hospital.

[25] His parents rushed him to an emergency room in Colorado Springs, where he was diagnosed with pneumonia.

[26] But after a few days at the hospital, it became clear that something else was wrong.

[27] And towards the last day of recovery, I went to the restroom and ended up urinating blood.

[28] I didn't know what to think about it.

[29] And when I told the nurse, she was like, oh, yeah, let me go get the doctor because that is not good.

[30] And then the doctor was like, okay, well, we need to do an ultrasound on your kidneys now.

[31] The doctor came in, and then that's when he told me that I had dense deposit disease.

[32] And he started telling us, like, how rare the disease is.

[33] We kind of paused in silence because none of us knew what this was.

[34] Dense Deposit Disease, also known as C3G, happens when your body's own immune system attacks the kidneys.

[35] Over time, your kidneys become unable to remove waste products and extra fluid from the blood.

[36] Eventually, it can cause total kidney failure.

[37] I didn't know what it meant to me or what it was going to do to me, but it did change my life.

[38] At first, I didn't encounter any crazy problems health -wise other than, you know, the underlying condition, which never really inhibited my day in any sort of way.

[39] In the fall of 2013, two years after that day in the hospital, Alex was living a busy life.

[40] He was in a sophomore year in college, studying human biology, and had just started working at a restaurant in Colorado Springs called Old Chicago.

[41] That's where he met a young woman named Audrey Holmgren.

[42] I was working downstairs serving while she was upstairs bartending.

[43] There was nights we would close together, so we were both there until, you know, 2, 2 .30, 3 o 'clock in the morning, like helping each other clean up what needs to be clean, rolling silverware, talking about the night.

[44] They became friends and started hanging out.

[45] The long hours and grueling work brought them close.

[46] It's almost like family because you guys had her sitting there, getting your butts kicked the whole time, but you're also helping each other with everything and you don't ever ask questions, you just kind of do.

[47] In 2014, after working at Old Chicago for about a year, Alex's doctor told him that even though he was still healthy, it was time to go on the waiting list for a kidney transplant.

[48] For many people with dense deposit disease, complete kidney failure happens within 10 years.

[49] So Alex didn't have a lot of time.

[50] The biggest hurdle was finding a donor who would be a match.

[51] Blood type is the biggest thing.

[52] Having someone with the same blood type helps a lot more to help you get that kidney quicker.

[53] At work, Alex mostly kept his condition to himself.

[54] But later that year, he helped to organize a fundraiser for the National Kidney Foundation.

[55] Audrey was working the bar, and at the end of the night, she asked him why he cared so much about kidney disease.

[56] That's when he told her what he was going through.

[57] You know, I'm on the transplant list.

[58] I don't know when I'm going to get one.

[59] She was just kind of like, oh, like, you know, I'm sorry you have to do that.

[60] Years passed.

[61] Alex's life was pretty normal, aside from taking about eight pills every day, to keep his condition under control.

[62] He was still working at Old Chicago, still hanging out with Audrey and her friends, still playing softball and lifting.

[63] weights.

[64] In 2016, he graduated from college.

[65] I was a pretty active person even with having this disease that no one even really knew that I had.

[66] But by 2018, seven years after his diagnosis, his energy started to plummet, and his relationship started to suffer.

[67] He remembers one day that summer when his girlfriend wanted to plan something special for him when he got home from work, a date night.

[68] And she was talking to me all day, about, hey, let's make dinner, or, like, help me plan something.

[69] And I was like, can we see how I feel when I get off of work?

[70] Around 7 o 'clock, Alex got home.

[71] And I just wasn't in the mood for it.

[72] I mean, just wanted to sleep.

[73] I mean, she tried to, like, surprise me with getting everything for dinner.

[74] And I just being so tired, eating did not sound great to me at all.

[75] It did, unfortunately, become an everyday thing.

[76] that I just got home and most of the time I didn't want to I didn't want to move.

[77] In December of that year, 2018, Audrey invited Alex to her 30th birthday party at a dance hall.

[78] At that point, he was on dialysis and going almost every other day.

[79] But he didn't want to miss Audrey's birthday, so he decided to go.

[80] When Alex walked into the party that night, Audrey and her husband looked at him with alarm.

[81] and they were like, you just don't look good, you don't look like yourself anymore.

[82] I would say I was looking really tired and pale, like I lost a lot of color in my skin.

[83] Alex confessed that his condition was getting worse.

[84] He wasn't feeling well, and pretty soon he'd be spending even more time in dialysis.

[85] He had to find a kidney donor, and according to his doctor, he had to find one soon.

[86] Audrey asked herself whether she would be willing to donate a kidney to Alex but she knew his blood type was O positive and hers was A -B she wasn't a match some kidney donations can take place between donors of different blood types but patients with type O blood typically need donors who are also type O or donation between them would never work As the months passed, Alex's health continued to decline.

[87] It was a tough time, yeah, it was.

[88] From what I remember, it was a very, you know, I didn't leave the house.

[89] I mean, you don't realize, I guess what I'm saying is you don't realize how much the kidney does for you until yours doesn't work anymore.

[90] Alex was at a low point.

[91] But his luck was about to change.

[92] One morning, in March of 2019, Alex was in dialysis when his phone started to buzz.

[93] It was Audrey.

[94] And I just remember kind of like half asleep waking up, looking at it, saying, oh, hey, Alex, like, I just finished listening to this podcast.

[95] It's from Hidden Brain.

[96] Like, you should go listen to it.

[97] They discussed the whole kidney exchange program and, like, how that even if she isn't my blood type, she can help me renew my life.

[98] and not be sitting in the chair that I was in.

[99] And it just kind of snowballed from there.

[100] After the break, Audrey's story.

[101] I said, bingo, that's it.

[102] That's what we need to do.

[103] I'm Shankar Vedantam, and you're listening to Hidden Brain.

[104] This is Hidden Brain.

[105] I'm Shankar Vedantam.

[106] Before the break, we met a young man named Alex Eastman.

[107] He told us about his struggle with dense deposit disease, which was slowly destroying his kidneys.

[108] and eroding his quality of life.

[109] When we left off, Alex had already spent almost five years on the transplant list waiting for someone with the same blood type to donate a kidney to him.

[110] He was on dialysis three days a week, and at the age of 26, it seemed like his life was ending.

[111] His doctor told him he didn't have much time.

[112] His friend Audrey briefly asked herself if she wanted to donate a kidney to him, but her blood type wasn't a match.

[113] She was type A, B, he was type O. And then, in March of 2019, Audrey heard an episode of Hidden Brain.

[114] I was listening to the Hidden Brain episode for sale by owner, and Al Roth was speaking about the paired exchange program.

[115] The paired exchange program is a novel way to donate kidneys, thought up by the economist Al Roth and his colleagues.

[116] In traditional kidney exchange, donors have to be carefully matched to recipients with compatible blood types and other factors.

[117] But by applying the insights of game theory, Al Roth realized that a donor did not need to have a compatible blood type with their intended recipient.

[118] I could donate an organ to your loved one, and you could donate an organ to mine.

[119] As soon as Audrey heard about this idea in our episode, she sent a text to Alex.

[120] And I said, hey, do you know what kidney exchanges and he texted back and he said yes i know what this is but nobody is really willing to do it for me because they don't like the idea that their kidney is not going directly to me and i messaged him back and i said well that's ridiculous why haven't you told me about this um where do i go to to sign up to see about doing this.

[121] So he sent me the link.

[122] So I looked it up and I immediately started doing the application.

[123] And halfway down the application, it definitely asks for your blood type.

[124] And I could not remember if it was A B positive or A B negative.

[125] Audrey went upstairs to her office where her husband Zab was playing video games.

[126] She walked over to the filing cabinet where they kept their medical records and pulled out the folder with her blood type in it.

[127] A little piece of paper, the size of a credit card, fell to the floor.

[128] And we pick up the card because it fell face down.

[129] And we flipped it over and it said, oh, positive.

[130] Oh, positive.

[131] Just like Alex.

[132] A few months earlier, when she had considered donating an organ to her friend, Audrey had misremembered her blood type.

[133] She was, in fact, a perfect match.

[134] Alex would not have to wait for the paired exchange program to get a viable organ she could directly give him her kidney We could hear the angels like going So I started crying Because that's just who I am I am an emotional human And I immediately text Alex And I say Alex I know I had just text you about doing the paired exchange but I am a match and so we both we both were texting expletist or another way you're kidding you're joking what is happening and so I exit out of that application on my computer and I open up the application to be a donor and within a month we got a surgery scheduled It was really early, and the sun was just coming up, and I remember we were walking into the hospital, and the sunrise was just so beautiful.

[135] I remember that the morning itself was very quiet, so walking into the hospital, there's not a lot of people there yet.

[136] The hustle and bustle hasn't started.

[137] There was a lot of peace in that moment, waiting to be called back.

[138] I believe Audrey got called back first, and she went back, and then I was shortly right after.

[139] her and they ended up actually seating us right next to each other in like the pre -surgery waiting room and as they were putting in the IV and they're setting me up checking my vitals all that that's when the emotions really started because it became real in that moment when the needle of the IV went into my arm.

[140] I was like, oh, okay, we're doing this.

[141] This is, this is what we're doing.

[142] We're actually, I'm donating a kidney today.

[143] And then, um, I just remember Audrey going back and then my mom's over there hugging her.

[144] And that is when I just broke down.

[145] I was like, and I just start weeping.

[146] I was like, oh my God, I'm doing this.

[147] And we're just crying in each other's arms before the surgery.

[148] And she just simply says, thank you.

[149] Everyone's just getting really emotional about what's going on.

[150] And then shortly after her, I was right up behind her going to my surgery room.

[151] And I was like, oh, this is the day.

[152] And finally, you know, live my life back to pretty much how it was before all this.

[153] And I remember waking up and like kind of seeing on my feet.

[154] family there.

[155] Alex knew something was different right away, because for the first time in about five years, he didn't feel cold anymore.

[156] Instantly, that's when I felt it, and even, like, my parents kind of noticed it.

[157] They were like, wow, you're actually, like, hot right now, and I was like, yeah.

[158] And then from there, they said that my color was already coming back and that I just overall looked better than what I was looking six hours ago before surgery.

[159] It wasn't until I got out of the hospital that I really started to notice it because my energy was just above and beyond what it used to be.

[160] I overall just feel normal.

[161] Like everything that wasn't there post -surgery is right back to where it used to be.

[162] It's kind of turned us from friends to family.

[163] He and his family have just wrapped their arms around us.

[164] We are one of their kids at this point.

[165] I consider Alex part of my family.

[166] Yeah, like we were good friends before, but our friendship grew a thousand times.

[167] I could just never be thankful enough.

[168] There are lots of reasons we love to make Hidden Brain for you.

[169] Stories like this one are close to the top of the list.

[170] We're grateful you've allowed us to play a small role in your life.

[171] Hidden Brain is produced by Hidden Brain Media.

[172] Our audio production team includes Bridget McCarthy, Laura Querell, Ryan Katz, Kristen Wong, Autumn Barnes, and Andrew Chadwick.

[173] Tara Boyle is our executive producer.

[174] I'm Hidden Brain's executive editor.

[175] If this episode spoke to you, if our show is meaningful to you, please consider supporting us.

[176] Go to Hiddenbrain .org and click on support.

[177] Again, that's hiddenbrain .org and click on support.

[178] Thanks for listening.

[179] I'm Shankar Vedantam.

[180] See you soon.