Armchair Anonymous: Worst Honeymoon

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[3] Welcome, welcome, welcome to Armchair Anonymous.

[4] I'm Dan Rather.

[5] I'm joined by Judy Blum.

[6] Oh, I love Judy Blum.

[7] Yeah, she did it for you, huh?

[8] Yeah, I really like her.

[9] Fudge books.

[10] Fudgies.

[11] This got wild.

[12] Tell us about your.

[13] worst honeymoon experience.

[14] A lot of people's life got threatened.

[15] Yeah, life in jeopardy.

[16] Spoiler, everyone's still married who we talked to.

[17] So I think that near death brings people together.

[18] Well, they say that you make a connection in war.

[19] Or you decide, I'm a new lease on life.

[20] I don't want to spend it with this person.

[21] We didn't hear from any of those people, but I guess that's conceivable as well.

[22] Yeah, these were great.

[23] Like when the going got tough, these folks stuck together.

[24] Yeah.

[25] And the going got tough on these.

[26] Again, life -threatening.

[27] Yeah.

[28] Please enjoy the worst honeymoon experiences ever.

[29] Hard times come and go.

[30] Take them slow.

[31] I'll help a one thing you got to know I'm going to keep on shining.

[32] Hello.

[33] Wonderful.

[34] Are we speaking with Alyssa?

[35] Yes, you are.

[36] Okay, nice to meet you.

[37] You too.

[38] Where are you at?

[39] I'm in Pittsburgh.

[40] Pennsylvania, born and raised.

[41] We just got off the phone with someone from Philadelphia.

[42] We're hitting the Keystone State hard.

[43] We must all have bad luck then.

[44] Monica, do you collect the state's little mottos?

[45] I don't.

[46] I'm not good at that.

[47] I think it's from road tripping maybe as a kid.

[48] I'm going to be honest, I'm not sure why we're the Keystone State.

[49] I think they say it has something to do with the shape.

[50] Oh, then it looks like a key.

[51] With a stone in it.

[52] Oh, Wabi's got the answer.

[53] It comes from architecture refers to the central wedge -shaped stone in an arc, which holds all the other stones in place.

[54] That's what a keystone is, but why is it called the key?

[55] Oh, because it's like, Keystone of the Federal Union.

[56] There we go.

[57] Keystone of the Fed, okay.

[58] Never could have guessed that.

[59] What do you do out in Pennsylvania?

[60] I actually am a registered nurse, but I work full -time as an Annie.

[61] Oh, you do, wonderful.

[62] How many children's?

[63] Two, and I have been with them for eight years, so since they came home from the hospital.

[64] Is one of them your soulmate, like Delta and Monica?

[65] Yes, yeah, the younger one, for sure.

[66] It's such a special thing to get to see them grow up.

[67] We're having a baby in July, and we just found out that it's a boy, and the two of them are boys.

[68] And he said to me today, now you're going to have three boys, Sessa, and I was just like, oh, my God.

[69] Oh, yeah.

[70] Yeah, it's just as sweet.

[71] His kids are the only thing worth fucking keeping this thing going for.

[72] They're so sweet.

[73] Okay.

[74] So you had a bad honeymoon?

[75] Horrible honeymoon.

[76] Congratulations.

[77] Will you walk us through it?

[78] Absolutely.

[79] So a little backstory.

[80] My husband and I have been together since we were teens.

[81] and his family and my family always went to the beach in summer for vacation.

[82] He was a lifeguard, comfortable in the ocean.

[83] So fast forward to 2019, we get married, and his aunt and uncle are kind enough to gift us their time share for our honeymoon.

[84] We got to pick where we went, so we picked Hawaii.

[85] We went to the Big Island, stayed in Kona for seven days, and then we were going to Maui for two days to drive the road to Hana.

[86] Prior to going on the trip, I reached out to a friend from high school because she had lived on the Big Island, And so she recommended restaurants and beaches and things to do and all of that.

[87] So we were like set, had a full itinerary, we were ready to go.

[88] We fly from Pennsylvania to Hawaii, which is such a journey.

[89] Get there, we spent the first day in Hawaii Volcano, spent the night at the park, and then the next day drove straight to our condo and Kona.

[90] We got so lucky the beach that she recommended her favorite breach on the entire island was like four minutes from our condo.

[91] Drop everything at the condo head straight for the beach.

[92] The way that the beach is shaped is it's like a U. So the middle is the water, and then it's like a U of black lava rock, and then the sand.

[93] So that's how so many beaches are in Hawaii.

[94] They're rocky.

[95] So the left side of the beach, there's an area where the black lava rock is removed, so the water and the sand touch, and you can walk right in.

[96] There's also a lifeguard tower in the middle of the beach.

[97] So we drop everything, and we head straight into the water.

[98] But because there's only one way to get in, everybody's right there.

[99] So there's families, there's kids, everyone's hanging out.

[100] No one's in distress.

[101] No one is struggling.

[102] The waves are calm.

[103] So we head to the right where there really isn't anybody.

[104] And I'm only five, too, but we get over there and everything's fine.

[105] The waves are pretty chill.

[106] You know, I'm standing flat foot.

[107] We're jumping up over the waves, diving under them, body surfing, doing everything.

[108] But within about five minutes, it was noticeably deeper.

[109] And we acknowledged it.

[110] And I was like, I'm kind of on the balls of my feet now, jumping over the waves and landing on them.

[111] But I'm so comfortable because I'm like, I can touch.

[112] I'm not like getting tired or anything.

[113] But then within like two or three minutes after that, there was no ground.

[114] I couldn't stand anymore.

[115] Even trying to push myself underwater, I couldn't find the sand.

[116] And the waves started to get so powerful that they were coming in and crashing.

[117] And as soon as it would crash, it would start to suck back out for the next wave.

[118] So I'm trying to go under the waves now and come up for air while I'm being sucked out into the next wave.

[119] Oh, God.

[120] And at this point, the lifeguards start coming over their megaphones.

[121] And they're like, you two in the middle, you need to go to your right towards the entrance, you need to go to your right.

[122] And I'm like, I'm not going anywhere.

[123] I am stuck in a wave that is just an endless cycle.

[124] I look at my husband and very, very calmly say, I do not want to freak you out, but I am starting to panic.

[125] I was like, I cannot touch the ground, and I'm going to get tired extremely quickly in this.

[126] He's six foot.

[127] He's like, I can still stand.

[128] So he comes over, and he starts pushing me up over the wave while he goes under the wave.

[129] And it works, right, for like three or four waves.

[130] And then I'm like, he's going to be exhausted.

[131] And it's not helping me get unstuck.

[132] I'm still stuck.

[133] So we give it.

[134] They're still coming over the megaphone every once in a while.

[135] And they're like, you guys got to move.

[136] You got to move.

[137] You're going to get washed into the lava rock.

[138] You're going to get washed into the rock.

[139] And I'm like, we have to do something.

[140] So he decides he's actually going to do the opposite of what they say and swim left towards the lava rock because it is parallel with the waves and the way the current's going, which they say if you're stuck in a rip current, you go with it instead of fighting against it.

[141] Right.

[142] I don't even have the energy to try that.

[143] You know, this whole time, the lifeguards are there.

[144] I could wave my arms and ask for help, but my egotistical human brain is like, no, you are not getting dragged out of this water by a lifeguard.

[145] You can swim.

[146] You're an adult.

[147] Figure it out.

[148] I'm proud of you for admitting that.

[149] I can't believe they didn't come out, honestly, because I was very clearly struggling.

[150] So I'm stuck out there, and he's starting to make his way towards the law of rock.

[151] They're coming over the megaphone, screaming at him to not to swim to the rock, do not get out on the rock.

[152] I'm getting so winded that eventually one of these waves is going to hit and I'm not going to come back up because I don't have the ability to calm myself anymore and I can't even catch my breath.

[153] So I finally decide that my only option is to just go limb, right?

[154] I'm like, I'm going to stop swimming.

[155] I'm going to stop kicking my feet.

[156] I'm going to take a deep breath and I'm going to hope that I get washed in instead of getting sucked out.

[157] Amazingly, within like three or four waves, I could feel the rock under me. And I still, I still I started crawling out because I was like, if I stand up on this slippery rock, I'm just going to fall and get washed back out.

[158] Yeah.

[159] So I'm crawling on all fours, and I am trying to put my bathing suit back together because tits and slits are all out.

[160] PTSD.

[161] Beach full of people, and I'm like a beach swale on this rock that you're not even supposed to be on.

[162] So I'm like, I know they're all watching.

[163] Everybody has to be watching.

[164] So my husband at this point is coming around.

[165] He's on the beach waiting for me to meet him.

[166] So his strategy worked.

[167] It did.

[168] I'm getting out and I look down and from my knees to my ankles is just straight blood.

[169] I can't even see skin because I washed up on this sharp rock.

[170] Oh, my God.

[171] This is the nightmare.

[172] We get to our stuff and he is like, let's just sit down.

[173] Let's rinse out your cuts.

[174] Let's just like re -evaluate.

[175] And I was like, I am grabbing the shit and getting the fuck out of here.

[176] Because the water crashing behind me, I couldn't even catch my breath because I felt like I was still in it fighting for my life, you know?

[177] Yeah.

[178] So we, like, got in the car, blood and all soaking wet, and drive back to the condo.

[179] When we get there, thankfully, there's nothing serious.

[180] They're all superficial.

[181] Almost like a road rash where it's just, like, little lines all across my legs, but they're just oozing blood.

[182] Yeah.

[183] And there's this website that'll tell you the conditions at the different beaches and, like, what the flags are and all of that.

[184] By the time we were back to the condo and settled, that beach was a black flag.

[185] So it was a do not swim, beaches closed, water conditions are unsafe.

[186] So that made me feel better because I was like, I didn't.

[187] forget how to swim.

[188] I was actually stuck in an unsafe condition, basically.

[189] That night, we go to the pool, right?

[190] We're having a good dinner.

[191] We're having drinks.

[192] We are so thankful because I'm alive and we're just going to enjoy the rest of this vacation.

[193] Take it easy, right?

[194] Probably avoid the ocean.

[195] The next day we went ziplining.

[196] We had a great day, but we noticed that my husband had a scab behind his ear.

[197] And we weren't sure what it was.

[198] It almost kind of looks like poison ivy.

[199] And he's very prone to poison ivy and we have it in our yard.

[200] So we were like, maybe he brought it with him, we're not sure.

[201] The next morning, we wake up and he rolls over and looks at me, and I am like, there is something significantly wrong with your face.

[202] The entire left side of his face and neck is red and purple and swollen and splotchy, and there's like these weird welt things on his neck.

[203] Oh my God.

[204] And the way my brain works is you have a flesh eating bacteria from the ocean and you're dying.

[205] Streptus bacteria.

[206] Yes, I'm like, this is it.

[207] So we Arrashamed Express, and the doctor's did a full workup, everything.

[208] And the doctor comes in, and she looks at me. And she's like, have you had the chicken pox before?

[209] And I said, no, I was born in 1993.

[210] I think I was right on the verge where we were getting the vaccine.

[211] So I never had them.

[212] I was vaccinated against it.

[213] She looks at my husband.

[214] She looks at me. And she's like, you guys cannot touch each other.

[215] You cannot have contact with him.

[216] She said he has shingles.

[217] And if you touch him, you are going to get the chicken pox.

[218] Wait, he has shingles.

[219] If you touch him, you'll get chicken pox.

[220] Yes, because it stays in your body.

[221] It's the chicken pox, and eventually it comes out as shingles.

[222] Under great distress sometimes?

[223] Right.

[224] So that's what they say.

[225] He was not sick.

[226] He does not have a weakened immune system.

[227] But he watched you almost die.

[228] That's true.

[229] I don't know if it could have happened that quickly.

[230] But so she tells us he needs to be on two antibiotics, one for the shingles and one for a bacterial infection from him picking at the scab behind his ear.

[231] Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh.

[232] In the 13 years that I had known him, he had never been on antibiotics.

[233] So these antibiotics wrecked havoc on his body.

[234] He could not eat, could barely drink, couldn't even really take the antibiotics as prescribed because he was so sick that he couldn't even keep them down.

[235] Oh, this is such a nightmare.

[236] He's a great honeymoon.

[237] We were supposed to swim with a man to raise and do the road to haunt and all that.

[238] We canceled everything.

[239] It was like a laying on the couch watching TV, eating Pop -Tarts for the rest of the trip.

[240] So we spend this 24 hours getting home.

[241] He's so miserable because shingles.

[242] attaches to a nerve.

[243] So it's like a nerve pain that you have.

[244] I've heard it's just gruesome.

[245] We get home.

[246] The next day, I go to work.

[247] And in the middle of my workday, I'm like, something is not right.

[248] I'm having heart palpitations, and I'm sweating, and I'm starting to get numbness and tingling in my extremities.

[249] I rushed to Met Express, and they're like, we're really concerned that you have a blood clot because you're on birth control, and you've been flying a lot in the last week.

[250] They were like, you need to go to the emergency room right away because if it travels to your lung, you know, you'll die.

[251] They rolled out a blood clot.

[252] They told me that I was having symptoms from a virus that I picked up while traveling.

[253] It ended up that I had these symptoms on an offer the next year.

[254] They discovered that they thought maybe it was hormonal, but that the traveling and being so exhausted from the trip had just triggered it at the time for me to have those symptoms.

[255] Again, also the stress of the whole ordeal.

[256] Yes, absolutely.

[257] And then ironically, we get home and we're talking to my husband.

[258] his parents, and his dad tells us that the week after they got married, he got shingles.

[259] What?

[260] I'm like, are you guys just afraid of marriage?

[261] They're commitment phobes, yeah.

[262] Life's ending, and then the first trip to the beach is a married guy.

[263] This bitch can't even swim now all of a sudden.

[264] He's like, oh, fuck, it's everything I fear.

[265] Yes, she sold me a bill of goods.

[266] And, you know, we joke occasionally now.

[267] He'll be like, what if I just, like, had to fly home with your body?

[268] I think we were closer to that than we probably realized even.

[269] So ironically, the next month, Frozen 2 came out, ding, ding, ding, and I took the boys I nanny to see it.

[270] And there is a scene in there where Elsa is in the water getting just tossed around and churned.

[271] And, you know, she's trying to get on a horse and the waves are crashing.

[272] I had a full -blown panic attack in the movie theater, had to leave the theater, and wait until the scene was done to come back in.

[273] It was straight PTSD, put me right back in that spot.

[274] And I, like, could not breathe.

[275] It was insane.

[276] Oh, wow.

[277] Wow, wow, wow.

[278] Was not a great honeymoon experience.

[279] No, that's a real shit honeymoon right there.

[280] Absolutely.

[281] So we're joking that if we go on a baby moon, we're going to the mountains and avoiding the ocean at all costs.

[282] Smart.

[283] Don't do any climbing or anything.

[284] Just fucking like going to hot tubs and stuff.

[285] When I was reviewing the story, I was just thinking of you, Monica, when you fell off the tube, rafting.

[286] And I was just like, it's supposed to be fun.

[287] And this is not fun at all.

[288] I'm not enjoying it.

[289] So I really haven't been back in.

[290] We went to the beach with my husband's family a few years ago, and I would go in, like, knee -deep.

[291] But I was like, I can't feel any type of crash or pull from a wave at all because I think I would just start spiraling.

[292] Okay, you know where you need to go.

[293] It's pricey, but I'm going to say it anyways.

[294] If you can end up in Bora Bora, this is the most genius location because it's in a toll, right?

[295] So there's this big chain of islands that goes in a perfect circle.

[296] And so inside of this circle, you're in the dead middle of the ocean, but there's no. No waves.

[297] Everywhere is perfectly seven feet deep and it's clear and it's glass -like and you get the manorays.

[298] You get everything and it's just like an enormous swimming pool, the size of New York City.

[299] Yeah, so that's what I need.

[300] That's what you need to be.

[301] Seven feet, you can still do some damage in though.

[302] But there's no waves.

[303] There's no nothing.

[304] It's just glass.

[305] It's unbelievable.

[306] People die yearly from coconuts.

[307] They sure do.

[308] Stay in the Keystone state.

[309] I think that's what we're figuring out.

[310] Thank you so much for sharing.

[311] Yes, that was incredible.

[312] I'm so sorry.

[313] was your honeymoon.

[314] You learn what you're made of in those situations and you guys are still together.

[315] Absolutely.

[316] Yeah, he's the best.

[317] All right.

[318] Great meeting to you, Melissa.

[319] You guys too.

[320] Thanks so much.

[321] Bye -bye.

[322] This reminds me Callie.

[323] Got diarrhea on her honeymoon?

[324] No, but she got thrown off a horse.

[325] Oh, Buck from a horse.

[326] And then Max, too.

[327] They both got.

[328] To match her?

[329] That horse then got freaked out.

[330] Maybe they were dating.

[331] Oh, maybe.

[332] She's doing that.

[333] She just threw her rider.

[334] I guess I should throw mine.

[335] Yeah, and she got injured.

[336] How bad?

[337] Not too bad.

[338] Really bad.

[339] Oh, is she with us?

[340] He's done okay.

[341] Hello.

[342] Hi.

[343] Hello.

[344] Oh, my goodness.

[345] I'm freaking out.

[346] Nice to meet the both of you.

[347] Nice to meet you.

[348] Where's this charming accent from?

[349] It's a bit of a mix.

[350] So I'm in Australia, but there's a little bit of English on my mother's side.

[351] So, Lucifer's pizza all the way.

[352] I was going to say you have a bit of a kiwi twang.

[353] Oh, no. Don't say that.

[354] I know you.

[355] I know you guys are at war.

[356] I know.

[357] Oh, David Farrier.

[358] If he was in the room, he would be.

[359] Happy.

[360] It almost has an Irish -y sound.

[361] There's a lot going on.

[362] I get some Irish.

[363] You might be conflating the red beard with Irish.

[364] Yeah, yeah.

[365] I'm a fellow red beard person, so tip my hat to you.

[366] So you're in Australia now?

[367] Well, I've always been in Australia, except for where our honeymoon story took place in the beautiful country of Israel.

[368] My wife and I have always been fascinated by the country.

[369] They've got beautiful beaches.

[370] They've got a vibrant culture.

[371] and rather than just going to Singapore or the US or London, we thought, why not go somewhere completely different, emerge ourselves in the culture, which took us to Israel.

[372] Wonderful.

[373] What year was this?

[374] This is 2016 in February.

[375] I'm excited for you.

[376] This is going to be great.

[377] So very excited.

[378] And one thing we wanted to do was all the touristy stuff.

[379] So we floated in the Dead Sea.

[380] We climbed to Masada, which is a big, big mountain there.

[381] And then we wanted to get a tour of the old city, which is where the story takes place.

[382] So we'd organized the tour guide, had an amazing day going, around the old city and at the end of the day it was time to pay the tour guide.

[383] I'm standing at Jaffer Gate right at the entrance to the old city and I found an ATM.

[384] Walk over to the ATM and of course it's out of order.

[385] But the friendly shopkeeper who was running the currency conversion shop there said, no worries, I can withdraw the money for you.

[386] It'll only cost you $4 and I'll give you the cash straight away.

[387] Perfect, happy days, withdraw the money, get my receipt and pay the tour guide.

[388] We head back to the hotel and I'm having dinner and I'm going through my transactions for the day.

[389] And I noticed the withdrawal, but it hasn't happened once.

[390] It's happened four times.

[391] So an extra $2 ,000 has been taken out of my account a couple of minutes after we left the shop.

[392] I'm fuming.

[393] You know, nobody rips me off if it's $5 or $100 ,000, like I'm marching down there to get my money back.

[394] We walk back to the shop and of course it shuts a little bit later at night.

[395] But we go over to the police station across the road.

[396] And meet the most beautiful police officer you've ever met.

[397] There we go.

[398] He's furious.

[399] He's like, how does this happen?

[400] Come back here tomorrow morning.

[401] I'm going to come down to that shop with you and we're going to get that money back.

[402] This doesn't happen on my watch.

[403] So my wife and I, newly married, are very, very excited.

[404] We go home and then come back at 9 a .m. the next morning.

[405] But he's not there.

[406] He's disappeared.

[407] He's either sick or assigned to a different case.

[408] So we get these two other police officers.

[409] And I'm not sure if you've seen breaking bad, but they remind me of the two twins.

[410] who don't smile, they don't talk.

[411] There's just this expression of, I don't want to be here on their face.

[412] Yes, yes.

[413] And they escort us down to the shop, which is where it all help breaks loose.

[414] So the shopkeeper suddenly emerges, and then there's not one shopkeeper, there's five.

[415] Whoa.

[416] There's a guy with a machete across his chest.

[417] No. And I'm like, I've just come for my money back, and we get cornered instantly.

[418] So they kind of split me and my wife up at different ends of the shop.

[419] Do you have the two cops in tow, though?

[420] They were there.

[421] And then as soon as these shopkeepers appeared, they've done a magic trick.

[422] They've disappeared.

[423] So my wife and I are stranded in this shop.

[424] It's about 9 o 'clock in the morning.

[425] And what happened with one shopkeeper is suddenly about five.

[426] And they're big, strong -looking guys.

[427] Was the specific shopkeeper you originally gave your card to present?

[428] He was.

[429] And he quickly brought in his friends.

[430] So we're now cornered at different ends of the shop.

[431] And the shopkeepers are interrogating us.

[432] What country are you from?

[433] What gives you the right to take your money?

[434] back.

[435] What's your address?

[436] We want your passports.

[437] And it's just escalating and escalating.

[438] Oh my God.

[439] They want more.

[440] I'm thinking this was a bad decision.

[441] I'm in one of the most dangerous countries in the world.

[442] I'm risking my life for about a thousand dollars.

[443] And then it escalates a little bit more.

[444] So I see over the shoulder of the one carrying the machete, there's a group of about 15 people storming towards the shop.

[445] And I kind of glance over at my wife, who's still separated from me at this point.

[446] And I think, well, we're done.

[447] This is not good.

[448] There's now a group charging towards us, but then I quickly realized there are actually a tour group from the day before, and all of them, 15 of them, had been ripped off, scammed.

[449] No!

[450] And they've come back looking for their money, but unlike us, they were also looking for a fight.

[451] Oh, good!

[452] Is it like a rugby team on vacation or something?

[453] I mean, if you could imagine them carrying cameras and they're not the typical pick -a -fight type of crowd, but I saw this as our chance to get out of there.

[454] but I'm still right next to the counter and funnily enough the shopkeeper that had served me yesterday is holding some of my money or what I imagine is my money and I'm like look if you give me the money my wife and I are out of here you'll never see us again and he hands over the money no way I grab the cash I grab my wife and we get out of there and just across the road there's a bank of taxi so we jump in a taxi and just as we're pulling out one of the shopkeepers jumps in front of the taxi and asks the taxi driver where he's taking us and the taxi driver tells him Oh, my God.

[455] So I've gone from, oh, my God, we're out here and we've alive and we've survived and I've amazingly got some money to, oh, my God, they know where our hotel is.

[456] And what I thought might have just been a small scam in a shop, like, why do they want to know where we're staying and we need to get the hell out of here?

[457] So we're on the taxi back to the hotel and I'm imagining every spy movie I've ever seen.

[458] All I agree with my wife is let's get to the hotel, throw everything in the bag, and get the hell out of here as quickly as possible.

[459] And can I ask, was that theory, go to another hotel?

[460] hotel or get the fuck out of Israel altogether?

[461] We're shipping out.

[462] Yeah, I think smart.

[463] Jerusalem's a little bit far from the airport and we couldn't get a taxi.

[464] We ended up having to go to the bus terminal and wait an hour for a bus.

[465] It's just getting more and more dangerous.

[466] Every person I see on their mobile phone looking at me, my heart's skipping a bit.

[467] But we do.

[468] We managed to get a bus out of there.

[469] We fly home and we were safe.

[470] But there's been a few developments since arriving back in Australia and I've been constantly checking this business just to see what's been happening.

[471] So two days after landing in Australia, I actually got a phone call from my bank.

[472] And they said, look, we've noticed this company's charged your account four times.

[473] They're actually registered as a scammed business.

[474] And if they have scammed, you will return your money to you straight away.

[475] So I never even needed to go and confront the shop owners.

[476] I could have just gone home safely and had the money return.

[477] But you profited.

[478] You made a little money.

[479] As it turns out, we up in front, which is never a bad thing.

[480] Yes, you had the money that you tip them was theirs.

[481] the money you got from the register.

[482] Full spare, right?

[483] You deserve it.

[484] A few other developments, I have noticed, and I'm not sure if it's linked or not, but outside the front of that shop, there has actually been a few stabbings.

[485] There was one a few months before we were there, and there was another one in 2019, which maybe it's a coincidence, but it just felt like a very unsettling environment, and if that bus of tourists hadn't have turned up, I hate to think how quickly it might have escalated and what could have happened.

[486] On your honeymoon.

[487] And I probably owe it to my wife to do a honeymoon 2 .0, but we've been delayed with COVID.

[488] Oh, no. What city are you in in Australia?

[489] Sunny Brisbane, so we're going to be hosting the Olympic Games in a few years.

[490] That's where our friend move.

[491] Joshie, Josh Lawson.

[492] Do you know Josh Lawson?

[493] Not personally, but I'm a big fan.

[494] I've seen a number of his movies.

[495] Yeah, he's quite popular in Australia, isn't he?

[496] We love a good celebrity.

[497] Anyone that's Australian, or even not Australian, we'll definitely adopt them as our own.

[498] Wonderful.

[499] Yeah, he's a wonderful guy.

[500] Wow.

[501] Now, is there like a thriving kind of mafia there in Israel?

[502] I don't know about it.

[503] I mean, it makes sense.

[504] Do you know what?

[505] So in preparation for today, I was doing a little bit of research.

[506] And that company still exists.

[507] That shop is still there.

[508] And there's reviews as recently as two weeks ago with another person being scammed for a couple of hundred dollars.

[509] And I figure on the day I was there, we got scammed for about $1 ,000.

[510] And then there was those 15 tourists that turned up.

[511] They would have been scammed for a couple of hundred dollars each.

[512] It's a very lucrative business.

[513] And the police disappeared very quickly once we got to that shop.

[514] You know what I want to do.

[515] This feels like a dare, like a challenge.

[516] Like, I want to go to this place.

[517] Yeah.

[518] Like, I got to bring Charlie.

[519] He lives to fuck with scammers.

[520] It's like his whole life, he'll dedicate any amount of time required to fuck with them.

[521] He will.

[522] He and I should go to the drawing board and think about how we can get them.

[523] Seems like a good use of your time.

[524] I'm ready for round two.

[525] I'll jump on that plane and I'll meet you there.

[526] Let's rendezvous at the gates of the old city.

[527] Is that where I'm going?

[528] I don't know if my wife will let me off.

[529] Crazy story.

[530] And it was a shame because it really did put a dampen on the honeymoon.

[531] But we're still together.

[532] We've got two beautiful kids and life couldn't be better.

[533] Wonderful.

[534] Well, Dan, you're so damn effervescent.

[535] Isn't that the word we'd use?

[536] Yeah.

[537] If you run into Josh, tell them we say hi.

[538] Well, let's do the flip.

[539] Why don't you guys come visit us in Australia?

[540] We'll do armchair expert live.

[541] Bring Josh to your guest.

[542] I'll be the first person to buy tickets.

[543] I wonder if we could see.

[544] sell out an auditorium there.

[545] I guess even if we went and performed for five or six Aussies, that'd be worth it.

[546] That's worth it.

[547] Yeah.

[548] You've got four tickets right here.

[549] Okay, great.

[550] That'll offset the flight.

[551] Does that cover the airfiz?

[552] Yeah, it's a pretty pricey ticket.

[553] Well, Deanne, great meeting.

[554] You.

[555] Thanks so much for sharing your story with us.

[556] And we're so flattered you're listening to us down under.

[557] All right.

[558] Love you guys.

[559] All right.

[560] Love you too.

[561] Take care.

[562] See you in Israel.

[563] We've all been there.

[564] Turning to the Internet to self -diagnosed are inexplicable pains, debilitating body aches, sudden fevers, and strange rashes.

[565] Though our minds tend to spiral to worst -case scenarios, it's usually nothing, but for an unlucky few, these unsuspecting symptoms can start the clock ticking on a terrifying medical mystery.

[566] Like the unexplainable death of a retired firefighter, whose body was found at home by his son, except it looked like he had been cremated, or the time when an entire town started jumping from buildings and seeing tigers on their ceilings.

[567] Hey listeners, it's Mr. Ballin here, and I'm here to tell you about my podcast.

[568] It's called Mr. Ballin's Medical Mysteries.

[569] Each terrifying true story will be sure to keep you up at night.

[570] Follow Mr. Ballin's Medical Mysteries wherever you get your podcasts.

[571] Prime members can listen early and add free on Amazon Music.

[572] What's up, guys?

[573] This is your girl Kiki, and my podcast is back with a new season, and let me tell you, it's too good.

[574] And I'm diving into the brains of entertainment, best.

[575] and brightest, okay?

[576] Every episode, I bring on a friend and have a real conversation.

[577] And I don't mean just friends.

[578] I mean the likes of Amy Poehler, Kell Mitchell, Vivica Fox.

[579] The list goes on.

[580] So follow, watch, and listen to Baby.

[581] This is Kiki Palmer on the Wondery app or wherever you get your podcast.

[582] Here's Meredith.

[583] Hello.

[584] Hi, can you hear us?

[585] I can.

[586] Can you hear me?

[587] Yes.

[588] How are you?

[589] And where are you?

[590] Are you in a bunk bed?

[591] I am.

[592] I'm in my daughter's bunk bed.

[593] Oh, nice.

[594] We have an house.

[595] It doesn't have walk -in closet.

[596] So this was the most confined space I can find.

[597] This works.

[598] This works.

[599] And what part of the country are you in?

[600] Atlanta, Georgia.

[601] Ding, ding.

[602] So congratulations, Monica, on your big win.

[603] Thank you.

[604] Did you watch?

[605] I did it.

[606] I'm not a fan.

[607] I'm not a fan of anyone.

[608] Okay.

[609] So I'm not an inside fan.

[610] I'll take it.

[611] That's fine.

[612] I'm sure you had a lot to do at the win.

[613] So congratulations.

[614] Thank you.

[615] Very much.

[616] Most people in the know, most sports columnists are saying it's from me saying roll tight you need to send me those articles because i haven't come across any so you had a challenging or eventful honeymoon i did what year did this happen so this was october of 2008 okay walk us through it so we had the typical honeymoon plan we were going to go to a resort that was pretty well known at the time and st john we were going to leave atlanta and fly to Puerto Rico, get on a connecting flight to St. Thomas, and then we had a ferry our boat waiting for us, and then they take you from St. Thomas to St. John.

[617] This is already too complicated for me, Meredith.

[618] I'm already out.

[619] Even though you're the king of conveyance.

[620] I know.

[621] If I were piloting all these vehicles, maybe, but talk about a lot of variables I can already go wrong, you know?

[622] So we make it to Puerto Rico fine.

[623] When we have to go to the actual gate to, like, check in for our connecting flight.

[624] And unknown to me, it's like an eight passenger Cessna, which I've never been on before.

[625] Oh, boy.

[626] Okay.

[627] You have to give them like your actual weight of your person and they have to weigh each luggage because they can't have all the skinny people on one side and fat people on the other side.

[628] I don't know.

[629] Yeah.

[630] So we're kind of following the weather and we know that it's hurricane season, but it's kind of the tail in.

[631] There's like a tropical storm brewing.

[632] Oh, boy.

[633] So we're sitting there waiting for a connecting flight, and flights start getting delayed and canceled and backed up.

[634] And so it's looking like we probably aren't going to make our flight out.

[635] And then they had some planes that were leaving and even coming back to the same airport.

[636] And then at this point, people were looking kind of disheveled.

[637] I mean, they got off the plane and their hair was pussled.

[638] They did not look well.

[639] So we just assume we're not going.

[640] And then somebody comes on the loudspeaker and says, all right, we're going to try to get one more flight out tonight.

[641] That's what you want to hear.

[642] One more.

[643] We're going to try.

[644] What is it try me?

[645] Like, this doesn't sound good.

[646] Like, they're sending the planes up on a slingshot.

[647] Let's see if we can't get one over the edge.

[648] Oh.

[649] So I'm like, please not mine.

[650] Please not mine.

[651] And, of course, they're like, blah, blah, blah, blah.

[652] You're up.

[653] You're up.

[654] It's so scary.

[655] So we walk out to our plane.

[656] And admittedly, like, the weather there wasn't bad.

[657] I mean, it was balmy, beach weather, windy, but not.

[658] raining or anything horrible.

[659] So this is when the time kind of gets discombobulated in my head.

[660] At this point, I've got no fear of flying.

[661] So I get up in the plane and I'd say maybe 10 minutes into it, it just starts getting like turbulent.

[662] And it gets worse and worse.

[663] And you just look out the windows and all you can see is like white.

[664] And there's only eight of you in there.

[665] Correct.

[666] Oh.

[667] I wasn't sitting next to my husband because our weight didn't match up that we could sit next to each other.

[668] Yeah, not a great sign.

[669] Yeah.

[670] So my stomach is just tossing.

[671] and turning, and I'm just not an anxious person in general, but I start feeling chest pain and tingling in my mouth and extremities.

[672] And I'm like, all right, like, I need to do something to calm down.

[673] So I start counting backwards from 100.

[674] So I kind of get down to like 12, and I realize it's not stopping.

[675] And I'm like, what's going to happen when I get to one?

[676] Like, are we going to crash?

[677] So I start like counting off.

[678] Yeah, like it was a countdown to death all of a sudden.

[679] So people are silent.

[680] I mean, no one's saying a single word, which makes it worse, in my opinion.

[681] I've got like a woman behind me just clutching my shoulders.

[682] Oh, I swear I hear people like saying prayers.

[683] Oh.

[684] I later come to find out that my husband, who's sitting one row behind the pilot and co -pilot, like he can see the co -pilot at some point, take out a piece of paper and he's trying to read it but can barely like hold it in his hands.

[685] Oh.

[686] And he can see all the things on the dash and the altitude meter like dropping, you know, I don't how many feet at a time.

[687] And at one point, the pilot gets on the phone and calls his wife and kids.

[688] Oh, no. Oh, no, no. Oh, my God.

[689] I mean, everyone I'm pretty sure is convinced we're dying.

[690] Yeah.

[691] Yeah, this is it.

[692] This is what you read about.

[693] But not a word was said.

[694] So, Dax, if you ever take over a flight and land it, make sure you tell your passengers, I've got this.

[695] But what do you say?

[696] Because you can't say it's fine.

[697] No, you've heard me bitch about this before.

[698] I used to take this flight from L .A. to Santa Barbara when I live there kind of often, and it was always the wildest ride.

[699] And what I hated the most is when they wouldn't shut the curtain to the cockpit.

[700] Because I like to think the pilots are up there in control.

[701] And then, of course, they're not.

[702] Like, if I'm getting violently thrown around, so are they.

[703] And I used to stare up there, and I'd see their legs flailing and stuff.

[704] They're almost coming off the seat.

[705] And I'm like, shut this curtain.

[706] I need to think that they're under control.

[707] They're not.

[708] Eich.

[709] Okay.

[710] Okay.

[711] So the calling the family is, I almost feel like, he gave up.

[712] There's no fight left in him.

[713] That's like straight out of a comedy.

[714] So we finally start to see some black skies and I'm looking at the window and I can see some lights down below and I'm just like, I don't care where we are or where that land is.

[715] Like I just need to be on land.

[716] So we finally make it.

[717] We land.

[718] We're actually in St. Thomas, so our destination and just feeling so grateful to be alive, still chest pain.

[719] Everyone thought we were going to die.

[720] I just mentioned, like, the newspaper having our picture newlywed dies.

[721] Yeah, you'd be the headline.

[722] So at this point, they shut down all the waterways, so we couldn't catch our ferry.

[723] So the resort was like, okay, we're going to put you up in our sister resort at St. Thomas, and we'll just kind of see what happens.

[724] So we're going to this resort, and our cab driver was like, no, no, I got you a boat.

[725] I got you a boat.

[726] And we're kind of like, oh, oh, okay.

[727] So they kind of reluctantly get on this boat.

[728] boat.

[729] Oh, God.

[730] You didn't learn your lesson from the last.

[731] Oh, my God.

[732] It's not land, but at sea.

[733] I'm down.

[734] I'm thousands of feet in the air.

[735] Like, this is, I think illegal, but fine.

[736] So we finally arrived at St. John.

[737] We get up to the resort.

[738] We check in.

[739] And literally, the second we get there, the guy's like, has anyone let you know what we're doing?

[740] And we're like, uh, no. And he's like, we're evacuating the island.

[741] No. Of course.

[742] This is why they're not letting boats go there.

[743] I hate this.

[744] We get back on the same illegal boat that we came on.

[745] Now crammed with as many people from that resort as we can to go back to St. Thomas.

[746] To the room you probably lost at this point.

[747] Right.

[748] The feeling grateful that I'm alive is kind of slowly creeping in with, I'm kind of mad, and I'm just like, this is not how it's supposed to be.

[749] People on the ship are like, oh, what room were you staying in?

[750] Oh, that was the greatest room you would have loved it.

[751] It's so amazing.

[752] You have to come back.

[753] And I'm just, like, thieving with.

[754] anger at this point.

[755] So we make it back to this sister resort, which is nothing like the resort we were just to stay in.

[756] The step sister resort.

[757] Yeah.

[758] Second cousin once removed.

[759] It's awful.

[760] And there's like a casino, which is fine, but that just wasn't what I wanted to do for my honeymoon.

[761] And it's just kind of dirty.

[762] And I remember them showing us this room that they had set up with games and Connect 4.

[763] And they're like, you can come in here and play Connect 4.

[764] couldn't get a flight home.

[765] We were on lockdown.

[766] There was a curfew.

[767] You couldn't lead.

[768] How many days were you at the sister resort?

[769] I think it ended up being like three days.

[770] So you just pulled the plug on the honeymoon.

[771] We were going to maybe think about going back over there, but I was just like, you know, I'd rather just be home and working.

[772] I'd rather be in the ICU in Atlanta than this.

[773] Oh, wow.

[774] Oh, I'm so sorry.

[775] What a shit honeymoon.

[776] And now I have a lifelong fear of flying, too.

[777] That then permanently changed you?

[778] Yeah.

[779] Yeah.

[780] Oh.

[781] That's hard to come back from.

[782] And then you got home to an economic downturn.

[783] Yeah.

[784] What a year.

[785] Yeah.

[786] So not a great start, but we have a good story to tell.

[787] Yeah, I'm so sorry that was your experience.

[788] But look, you guys are still married, right?

[789] You didn't say that, but I'm hoping so.

[790] Okay, good, good, good, good.

[791] Well, thank you, Meredith, for sharing that terrible story.

[792] And it's nice to meet you.

[793] Yeah.

[794] Nice to meet you guys.

[795] And I just want to say one other thing.

[796] My greatest fear of all time is the fear of a snake running up my butt.

[797] And that's been my lifetime fear.

[798] And when Monica talked about it on that back check, I finally felt validate.

[799] I was like, finally somebody gets me. Everyone thinks I'm crazy.

[800] And this is the worst possible thing on planet Earth.

[801] And it could happen.

[802] It's going to happen.

[803] It's definitely going to happen.

[804] To be so lucky to be that snake, Meredith.

[805] Well, I'm glad you have a sister, not a sister resort, but a sister and Monica.

[806] It makes sense.

[807] You're both from Atlanta.

[808] It does.

[809] It must occur in the South that you guys have this fear.

[810] Yeah.

[811] I don't know what it stands from, but it's legit.

[812] All right.

[813] Well, lovely meeting you, Meredith.

[814] All right.

[815] Nice meeting you guys.

[816] All right, take care.

[817] Hello.

[818] Hi, can you hear us?

[819] Can you hear me?

[820] I can hear you.

[821] Oh, beautifully, beautifully.

[822] You're in your recording studio, I see.

[823] Yes, I built a wonderful studio.

[824] Over the course of a decade of accumulating clothes, that would be perfect for it.

[825] Yes.

[826] Where are you at, Jessica?

[827] So I live halfway between Milwaukee and Chicago.

[828] Okay, in the Illinois or the Wisconsin.

[829] My husband did not want to be an effing.

[830] cheesehead.

[831] So we stayed just on the Illinois part of the border.

[832] Sure.

[833] Anniog?

[834] Anniog?

[835] Oh my gosh.

[836] How did he know?

[837] Wabi, Wob.

[838] He's a cheat.

[839] He's from Illinois.

[840] I didn't think anyone knew where Anniak was.

[841] Yes, that's where I live.

[842] Rob had a lover in Anniog.

[843] I had a roommate that peed on another roommate.

[844] Oh, roommate.

[845] He had a roommate.

[846] I'll leave out the other part, but he had a roommate from Aniog.

[847] Is it Anniog?

[848] Is it Anniok?

[849] That's how they say it.

[850] And do you guys work in Milwaukee?

[851] His great -grandfather started an appliance company called grand appliance and we both work for them.

[852] He's in the purchasing.

[853] I'm in sales.

[854] And they manufacture appliances?

[855] Nope.

[856] We are the retail sales.

[857] Okay.

[858] Do you have a favorite product?

[859] I love GE Cafe and I heard Monica's story about the chicken.

[860] I really want to know what she's working with in her kitchen.

[861] Oh, I'm in like a old ass apartment.

[862] She got a Kmart oven and a Sears fridge.

[863] The oven has no brand.

[864] So your new house, you're going to be cooking lots of good chickens.

[865] That's right.

[866] Well, I'll be trying to talk her out of the obnoxious French oven.

[867] I'm not doing a wolf.

[868] I prefer Viking.

[869] Between wolf and Viking, what would you say?

[870] Wolf.

[871] Oh, wow.

[872] It went in your way.

[873] Monica has defeated me several listener polls that we've taken today.

[874] And to be fair, to be fair, I'm never the one putting out the pole.

[875] It's always you.

[876] Yeah, I guess you would say it serves me right.

[877] I didn't say that.

[878] I'm so excited.

[879] I'm going to make so many chickens in that wolf.

[880] I'm excited for you because you will not have the same problems that you had in your garbage range that you have right now.

[881] You're going to cook a chicken there, but one shant let a wolf in the chicken coop.

[882] Just add that.

[883] Or that dog that got the turkey.

[884] Peeby got a carcass.

[885] Pee -Pee's famous carcass.

[886] Do you know Pee -Pee had another incident the other day.

[887] Again?

[888] Yeah, and let me just say Pee -P is the kindest dog ever, and Pee -Pee opens doors.

[889] She'll let the other little dog out when the other dog has to pee and barks.

[890] Pee -Pee will open the door so she can go out.

[891] So she's so nice.

[892] But she hates her, I guess it'd be her aunt dog, Eric's dad's dog.

[893] Right, Eric's dad's, so her grandpa's dog.

[894] Right, which feels like an aunt dog.

[895] That sounds great.

[896] Okay, sure.

[897] But Peepey got a hold of this dog and let her have it a little bit the other day.

[898] Yeah, and Jessica's the second incident.

[899] Yeah, and it hurt her eye.

[900] Pee does not like this dog.

[901] Oh, no. I hope they're okay.

[902] Me too.

[903] Okay.

[904] Okay, so tell me about your honeymoon.

[905] So we've been to Mexico so many times.

[906] Lots of different resorts, lots of different locations.

[907] For this honeymoon, we wanted to do all -inclusive.

[908] And for years, we had been so lazy when we go to these all -inclusives, we would just literally eat, drink, go to the pool, go to the beach.

[909] That's it.

[910] That's kind of what you're there for.

[911] And we were like, you know, we should book some excursions and just really take advantage of being here.

[912] Because I've always wanted to go to Chechenica.

[913] Oh, yes, I went.

[914] So we booked it, and I still haven't seen it.

[915] Oh, oh, okay.

[916] So day one, you know, you're just getting acclimated, seeing where all the good food is.

[917] Day two, we pretty much posted up at the beach, and we made friends.

[918] And I was like, oh, this is new because my husband's not super social.

[919] We're pretty low -key on vacation, but we started drinking and eating.

[920] And all day, we talked to these folks.

[921] They're probably like 20 years older than us, but they're super down to earth from Texas.

[922] And we're like, well, we actually do acro yoga.

[923] They're like, you know, in their 50s.

[924] They have no idea what I'm talking about.

[925] Pilates is like, what do you mean?

[926] I'm like, no, it's partner yoga.

[927] And actually the best way to describe it is to do it.

[928] So imagine, you know, oh, with your daughters, you've played airplane.

[929] Oh, sure, sure, sure.

[930] Yeah, yeah.

[931] I think I've seen some posts to people doing this.

[932] Yes.

[933] So those were probably experts.

[934] I had done one workshop.

[935] In your hammer.

[936] You were really confident.

[937] I was tipsy.

[938] My husband, I didn't know.

[939] until later.

[940] Absolutely hammered.

[941] So he is what we call the base.

[942] So the base lies on their back and their job is to keep you steady.

[943] Which is hard to do in your shit face.

[944] And we're on sand, by the way.

[945] So I put his feet on my hips.

[946] I grab his hands and then, you know, one, two, three would go up.

[947] A little shaky and it's great because they teach you how to fall.

[948] And so I just went back down, tried it again, didn't work.

[949] And then this lady grabs her camera.

[950] And so I was about ready to pack it in.

[951] I was like, you know what?

[952] It's not going to work.

[953] And my husband, he like gets the eye of the tiger.

[954] He's like, fucking doing this.

[955] And I was like, all right, we're doing it.

[956] Now it's a performance for a camera, yeah.

[957] So the third time, we're locked hands, okay?

[958] Yeah, interlocked.

[959] I go up and I literally just keep going.

[960] Oh, like an airplane just down straight into the sand.

[961] And I had packed it pretty tight.

[962] and to save my face, I just rolled to my shoulder, and I heard a loud pop.

[963] Oh.

[964] And then I blacked out.

[965] I opened my eyes, and I'm laying with my back.

[966] The sky was so pretty.

[967] I was like, oh, it's beautiful.

[968] And then, you know, all of a sudden, they're all standing over me. And there's, like, strangers who were on the beach.

[969] Everyone's an expert all of a sudden.

[970] Yes.

[971] Don't move her.

[972] Move her.

[973] Don't touch her.

[974] The woman who we had been talking to had four kids, and she had seen all kinds of football injuries.

[975] So, you know, I'm listening to her at this point because my husband has no idea.

[976] She looks at my shoulder and she winces.

[977] She makes a face.

[978] And I'm like, that can't be good.

[979] But then she tries to reassure me because I'm panicking.

[980] She said, oh, my son, he, you know, dislocates his shoulder all the time.

[981] We'll get you to a medical professional.

[982] They'll pop it right back in.

[983] So I'm, like, optimistic at this point.

[984] Okay.

[985] She thinks it's dislocated.

[986] Not that you've snapped your clavicle or AC separation.

[987] I don't know if she thought that.

[988] or if she just said that?

[989] Yeah.

[990] Okay, sure.

[991] She was older and wise.

[992] And how are you?

[993] Was it like numb?

[994] At first, the adrenaline really kicked it.

[995] What ended up happening was they have like a doctor on location.

[996] And so they like sprinted from the other side of the resort, came over.

[997] They gave me a little bit of pain meds and it started to make me feel a little fuzzy in my brain.

[998] I can't remember every single detail.

[999] So they bring a stretcher.

[1000] And I'm like, is this necessary?

[1001] And they said protocol for the resort.

[1002] If you hurt anything around your neck, and I'm like, this is so embarrassing.

[1003] So literally, I'm on a stretcher, and they're carrying me through the food court.

[1004] Hold on.

[1005] I got to pause you because you can almost lose sight of it.

[1006] It's not like your chair broke and you did this.

[1007] Like, you were showing off.

[1008] Like, it needs to be reminded.

[1009] This is embarrassing as fuck.

[1010] You were just trying to show off about how cool this yoga shit is.

[1011] And now you're on a stretcher.

[1012] This is like humiliating.

[1013] This isn't like an accident.

[1014] You did this through your arrogant.

[1015] in your showboatery.

[1016] We could have stopped.

[1017] I wanted to stop.

[1018] Yes, yes.

[1019] This is a lesson to follow your gut, kids.

[1020] So I'm on the stretcher.

[1021] We're going through the resort, and it's a long way to get to the ambulance.

[1022] I mean, like, they're weaving me in and out all these people, eating.

[1023] I catch a glimpse of my husband and his posture and his face, and that's when I realized he was obliterated.

[1024] He was just so drunk.

[1025] He was stumbling, slurring.

[1026] He kept apologizing the entire time.

[1027] No, that's the worst.

[1028] Shut up, Mike.

[1029] What's his name?

[1030] Mitch.

[1031] Mitch.

[1032] Okay, shut the fuck out, Mitch.

[1033] It's not your time.

[1034] So once we're in the ambulance, I realize I have no idea where we're going.

[1035] I don't know where anything is around here.

[1036] You're barely paying attention on the ride from the airport.

[1037] Oh, my gosh, yeah.

[1038] They're feeding us drinks in the shuttle.

[1039] So, like, yeah, I have no idea what's going on.

[1040] He keeps apologizing the whole way there.

[1041] I'm just annoyed at this point.

[1042] I'm laying down.

[1043] He was sitting above my head, and I, like, rolled my eyes up to him, and I was like, stop it right now.

[1044] Yeah.

[1045] We get to the doctor.

[1046] I do remember, though, when we got in there, it was, like, eerily quiet.

[1047] Like, there wasn't a lot going on, and I was thinking, is that a good sign or a bad sign?

[1048] Because we're in Cancun at a 24 -hour emergency.

[1049] So we're in this room.

[1050] They're giving me x -rays, and the doctor comes in and basically tells me I've separated my AC joint.

[1051] There we go, AC separation.

[1052] Mm -hmm.

[1053] And I have no idea what that is at the time.

[1054] I'm like, okay, I thought you could just pop it back in.

[1055] And he looked at me like I was an idiot.

[1056] He's like, you don't pop this back in.

[1057] It's still to this day, my collarbone instead of this, it's sticking up.

[1058] He said he needed to perform surgery immediately.

[1059] Oh, in Mexico.

[1060] Very urgent.

[1061] You need to get in there.

[1062] No. You just screw your clavicle back down.

[1063] Nope.

[1064] In Cancun.

[1065] We're all drunk.

[1066] Oh, and you're in pain meds, too.

[1067] My husband, he's looking at me to make a decision.

[1068] And I'm just like, can we have a minute, please?

[1069] So we start calling family and friends to see if they have a credit card we can use because we're talking about insurance.

[1070] They're like, we don't use American insurance here.

[1071] They're like, you've got to pay cash.

[1072] Oh.

[1073] How much is it?

[1074] They said $18 ,000.

[1075] Oh.

[1076] Oh, my God.

[1077] Okay, Jessica.

[1078] Whoa, whoa, whoa, did this thing turn sideways.

[1079] Also, you happen to be talking.

[1080] as someone who had AC3 separation surgeries.

[1081] Oh, you did.

[1082] Yes, my first shoulder surgery was from breaking all the tendons in a dirt bike accident.

[1083] What did they do?

[1084] A, I lived with it for a month and a half, which you can totally do.

[1085] I did it in northern Michigan.

[1086] I flew home on a plane.

[1087] I had no insurance.

[1088] I got weight listed at UCLA Harbor.

[1089] And then ultimately what they did is they went in there.

[1090] They cut the end off the clavicle.

[1091] They drilled a hole in the top of it.

[1092] And then they took a cord and they wrapped it around the back of the scapula and cinched it down.

[1093] And then scar tissue has overgrown all of it.

[1094] And it's, It's totally functional.

[1095] Yeah, at that time, I didn't know what an AC joint was.

[1096] Who would?

[1097] Yeah, we had this decision to make because the doctor's, he's very urgent about this.

[1098] He says we immediately need to do.

[1099] He's like, you're bleeding out, basically.

[1100] That's what I'm saying.

[1101] There's nothing urgent about this injury.

[1102] Yeah, that was a scam.

[1103] And he knew that I didn't know that.

[1104] Yes, yes.

[1105] After talking to a couple of family members, they were totally willing to just give us the money.

[1106] And then we talked to one family member and she said, why don't you just book a flight immediately?

[1107] come home, see your doctor, and then make a decision.

[1108] She said, can you do that?

[1109] I was like, I would prefer to do that.

[1110] Smart.

[1111] And so she actually helped rebook our flight.

[1112] So essentially, they put me in a sling.

[1113] But before the slink, I said, can I please just have a prescription for some pain meds?

[1114] I'm going to just get on a flight and go home.

[1115] And he said, they might not let you on the plane.

[1116] Oh, my God.

[1117] And I got so nervous.

[1118] I'm like, is that a thing?

[1119] And they not let me on the plane because I'm injured?

[1120] I'm so confused.

[1121] Yeah.

[1122] And like you've got to announce it to everybody.

[1123] Excuse me. Going home for surgery.

[1124] Coming through B, B, B, B. Mitchell, no, we don't have time for the bar, Mitchell.

[1125] So we flew home and we did go to a 24 -hour Mexican pharmacy, which was fun.

[1126] Oh, sure.

[1127] But I'm glad that that one family member knocked some sense into us.

[1128] Oh, you're so lucky.

[1129] Like, A, 18 gram.

[1130] Oh, my.

[1131] That's nuts.

[1132] And then, I don't know, man, surgery at an empty, yeah.

[1133] I don't want to be disparaging to any of the Mexican Medical Association.

[1134] I don't know what the quality is, but no, thank you.

[1135] I've done some research and actually there's a ton of amazing doctors in that area.

[1136] But I think that that particular gentleman in that location, they did not give me the best medical advice.

[1137] Yeah.

[1138] Yeah, it sounds more like a personal injury attorney just arrived immediately and started calling the shots.

[1139] That's how it felt.

[1140] But we got home, I ended up seeing a doctor, and I had had this sling on for two days straight, hadn't moved my arm, because I was terrified that I was going to injure it more.

[1141] And he just grabbed my arm and lifted it up and started swinging it around.

[1142] And he was like, you're fine.

[1143] Just do some physical therapy.

[1144] Wow.

[1145] You didn't even have surgery.

[1146] I have not had surgery.

[1147] Yeah.

[1148] Most people with AC separation do not need surgery for it.

[1149] Did you give up acro yoga?

[1150] Oh, yeah.

[1151] Fuck that.

[1152] I'm not doing it.

[1153] That was the end of your acro.

[1154] yoga career.

[1155] Not worth it.

[1156] So you were only there for how many days of the honeymoon?

[1157] Two days.

[1158] Two days.

[1159] Oh, man. And were there any resentments?

[1160] Did you guys resent each other after that?

[1161] He felt so bad.

[1162] Still to this day.

[1163] Well, until I told him I was doing this podcast, I yelled down the basement stairs to his office.

[1164] I was like, I'm doing the podcast for our honeymoon.

[1165] He goes, you're welcome.

[1166] $18 ,000.

[1167] And you didn't even need surgery at all.

[1168] I got to go there now, too.

[1169] Oh, you have so many places.

[1170] After this episode, I'm going to Israel to confront some scam artists at the gates of the old city.

[1171] Yep.

[1172] And then now I'm on my way down to the emergency care clinic in Cancun.

[1173] I have the address.

[1174] I will give it to you.

[1175] This is correct.

[1176] Well, Jessica, thank you so much for that story.

[1177] I want a delight to talk to you.

[1178] Thank you guys.

[1179] If you need product recommendations, email me, Monica.

[1180] Okay.

[1181] Sounds good.

[1182] Perfect.

[1183] All right.

[1184] Take care.

[1185] Bye -bye.

[1186] It makes me want to not go on a honeymoon.

[1187] I know.

[1188] I know.

[1189] I didn't have a honeymoon now.

[1190] I am glad I, I'm not glad.

[1191] I love vacations.

[1192] Yeah, great -gris is great.

[1193] You know me, I hate when you set up a lot of high stakes for anything, expectations.

[1194] It's why weddings to me, I don't want anything to do with them.

[1195] It's supposed to be the best day of someone's life.

[1196] But then we love going, because we love the love, the aliens.

[1197] That's fine for those people, if they want to take that risk.

[1198] But for me, the notion, this is supposed to be the best day of this woman's life.

[1199] Fuck that.

[1200] That's too much pressure.

[1201] And then this vacation is going to be the best vacation of our life.

[1202] I know.

[1203] You know, some of these vacations you think are going to be boring or shitty are the best ones, and some of these great ones suck.

[1204] Although I've never been on a vacation that sucked.

[1205] Well, that's not true.

[1206] I'm sure I have.

[1207] I had one that sucked and it was my fault.

[1208] I'm sure I have.

[1209] I just can't remember.

[1210] I'll get back to you.

[1211] Okay, get back to me. TBD.

[1212] Love you.

[1213] Love you.

[1214] Love love.

[1215] Love, love, love, love honeymoons.

[1216] Love all.

[1217] Hong Kong.

[1218] Do you want to sing a tune or something?

[1219] I know a theme song?

[1220] Oh.

[1221] Okay, great.

[1222] We don't have a thing song for this new show, so here I go, go, go.

[1223] We're going to ask some random questions, and with the help of armcherry's, we'll get some suggestions.

[1224] On the flyer rhyme dish, enjoy.

[1225] Follow armchair expert on the Wondry app, Amazon Music, or wherever you get your podcasts.

[1226] You can listen to every episode of Armchair Expert early and add free right now by joining Wondry Plus in the Wondry app or on Apple Podcasts.

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