The Diary Of A CEO with Steven Bartlett XX
[0] The diary of a CEO is back.
[1] And I've waited the longest time to be able to say that.
[2] Here's the thing.
[3] After season one, you wonderful people, DM'd me, stopped me in the street, tweeted me and hounded me to bring the podcast back for another season.
[4] There is no piece of content that I produce that's had such a phenomenal, dedicated response.
[5] And because of that, we've brought the diary of a CEO back for a second season, and I've traveled tens of thousands of miles around the world.
[6] world, meeting inspiring people from the world's biggest YouTubers, most impressive business people to the world's most inspiring artists.
[7] We've got an amazing mix of guests.
[8] The format is simple.
[9] This is not an interview.
[10] I want honesty, truth.
[11] I want to see into your personal diary.
[12] I want to understand you, not to advertise you.
[13] I want to hear the things that most people wouldn't have the guts to say because in a world where everything is filtered, it's the unfiltered that people need the most.
[14] If you don't know me, my name is Stephen Bartlett.
[15] I'm a dropout.
[16] I got kicked out school.
[17] I started my first business at age 18.
[18] I'm now the 26 year old CEO of one of the world's largest global marketing companies social chain.
[19] We work with the world's biggest brands.
[20] We have five offices around the world and 270 full -time members of staff.
[21] I'm just doing my best.
[22] doing my best to be my best, but also to understand and navigate life.
[23] What a crazy, crazy journey it's been and it's still yet to be.
[24] After season one of the podcast, so much of my life changed.
[25] I moved over 5 ,000 kilometers away to New York City, which is where I now live, and I moved there to focus on building our company in America.
[26] And trust me when I say this, America's a big place.
[27] America is a new challenge.
[28] It's a huge challenge.
[29] But I've spent my whole life out of my depth.
[30] So right now, America is where I need to be.
[31] More on that in a second.
[32] But before I open my diary and share all of my deep, sometimes dark thoughts with you, I just want to thank you.
[33] I want to thank you for listening.
[34] Thank you for waiting.
[35] Thank you for all of your posts, shares, comments and reviews.
[36] I saw them all.
[37] And in return, me and my team have gone to extra lengths to ensure that season two is by far the best season yet.
[38] This is not scripted.
[39] There's no one else in the room with me right now.
[40] I promise on everything that I'm worth and my word and everything else.
[41] I'm recording this at 333am on a Sunday night alone in my hotel room.
[42] I'm going to share deep personal thoughts with you, things that have been playing on my mind, personal information that I haven't shared with another human being on earth, and ultimately all of the notes that I've written into my diary since we last spoke.
[43] I hope you're ready.
[44] So without further ado, this is the diary of a CEO season two.
[45] I'm Stephen Bartlett.
[46] I hope nobody is listening.
[47] But if you are, then please keep this to yourself.
[48] Where to start?
[49] Damn.
[50] Okay, so the first point in my diary, I've just written mental health, the guy that committed suicide.
[51] And I, this is a tough one for me. I'm just going to tell you a story.
[52] I made a video on Facebook about, I don't know, six months ago.
[53] The video was called Smiling Through Depress.
[54] And the video talked about how some of the world's most adored people that brought so much happiness to so many people's lives were fighting battles that you could never ever see based on appearances.
[55] And I talked about Avicci, I talked about Robin Williams, and I talked about others.
[56] And my overall message in the video was just to treat everybody as if they're going through something which you know nothing about.
[57] And that kindness really could be the answer to so many things in this world.
[58] The video did great.
[59] I think it's got 16, 17, 17, million views and I was so happy to see that it had such a positive impact on so many people.
[60] But here's the thing.
[61] I was on, I think it was Twitter, a few days after the video came out and I got a direct message from somebody called Jack Dean.
[62] Jack Dean is a well -known YouTuber, he's got millions of subscribers and followers.
[63] He said to me, Steve, I've got something pretty dark to tell you.
[64] He said, somebody I know locally has just killed themselves and they're very well known in our area and the last thing they shared online was your video about mental health and he sent me a link to this guy's Facebook page and I went on this guy's Facebook page and there is my video and all of his friends and family have used that video as a platform to now express their condolences and so on and um in that moment I went through a tremendous amount of thoughts to think that somebody watched my video and then within 12 hours of watching something they I had produced made the decision to end their own life was something that I struggled with a little bit.
[65] And I didn't really tell anybody this at the time, but it really messed with my head for a number of reasons.
[66] And I'm just going to try and explain all of those reasons to you.
[67] So when I released that video, I probably got about 2 ,000 to 3 ,000 messages from people who were going through mental health issues.
[68] And some of the things that people said, honestly, it makes my hair stand on edge.
[69] I spoke to an Egyptian girl stuck in her bedroom in Egypt who hadn't left the room for four months, who was trying to find a way to kill herself.
[70] I spoke to people that I knew very closely that shared their very deep personal stories about how they'd considered ending their own lives and everybody else's life in their life.
[71] And then I dealt with this, you know, this guy who had shared my video and had killed himself.
[72] I felt, I think I felt everything at once.
[73] I felt sad.
[74] I felt speechless.
[75] I felt horrified.
[76] And then so here's what happens when something like that happens.
[77] The first thing you think is, did I cause this?
[78] Did something I say in my video, cause this person to end their own life.
[79] And I remember going back through the video and listening to it again through the lens of someone that might have been struggling and thinking, is this, you know, you understand.
[80] I went down that path.
[81] It also didn't help because so many people around me who'd found out about this guy ending his own life and the fact that the last thing he'd watched was my video, they also messaged me to tell me, Steve, don't worry, he didn't end his life because of you.
[82] And I didn't really think that until people started saying it.
[83] So I think that sent me down that path further.
[84] And I asked myself a ton of questions.
[85] And then the second thing, and this is ultimately where I ended up, this is when my mind ended up, was everything we do, everything we produce, has the impact of reaching somebody in their most vulnerable, the most significant moment of their lives.
[86] It could be in a shop, you buying somebody their vegetables when they don't have enough change.
[87] It could be holding the door open for somebody.
[88] It could be something that you post online.
[89] And the truth is, you know, the videos I post on Facebook have varied between 2 million views and 35 million views.
[90] and I 100 % am guilty of looking at those numbers as numbers and not as people.
[91] And in that moment, I realized those two things.
[92] I realize that everything I do could be reaching somebody and often is reaching somebody in a very vulnerable place.
[93] And that those 35 million views are potentially 35 million people, 35 million human beings.
[94] And so what it did for me in that moment, it gave me this intense sense of responsibility.
[95] And I'm like haunted by the thought that everything I produce and put online could be the last, potentially the last thing a human being hears.
[96] I am probably the last person that spoke to that guy that ended his life.
[97] And if I had known that at the time when I recorded that video, what would I have said differently?
[98] What would I have done differently in that video?
[99] And that's the thought that's just stayed with me for a while.
[100] Mental health, because I haven't experienced mental health issues to the extent that a lot of people have in terms of anxiety and depression and bipolar and all of these things, for me, it's always, and this is me just being completely honest.
[101] It's always been a concept and a construct that's been quite hard to understand.
[102] If you've not gone through something, you can't fully appreciate it.
[103] You just can't.
[104] You can't pretend to.
[105] I believe every word everybody says when they talk about their mental health issues.
[106] Every word.
[107] I feel it deeply.
[108] Within my soul and my being, it's always had a huge impact on me. And I've cried for friends that have gone through things.
[109] But in that moment, it all became so incredibly real.
[110] So incredibly real.
[111] And it makes me feel emotional even to talk about it now because I just wish there was something more I could have done.
[112] I wish there was something more I could have said.
[113] And there's literally like tears in my eyes as I say this.
[114] But and when I think about mental health issues more broadly, I think there's a few things that are really, really important.
[115] And I think one of them I've come to learn over time is that it's empowering, it's peace bringing to understand that every moment we experience is temporary.
[116] Every moment.
[117] Our darkest moments, our most stressful moments, they are temporary.
[118] And I know sometimes the duration of that, those moments can be years, it can be days, it can be hours, whatever, but those moments are temporary and we must never give up when it rains.
[119] But also, our brightest moments are temporary.
[120] The days of joy, jubilation, with friends, our fondest memories, all of those things are temporary.
[121] So we also need to learn that when it's sunny outside and when the sun's shining, We need to live more in the moment.
[122] And I think the perspective that all of our moments are temporary is one that will only bring us happiness and it'll help us weather the storm a little bit better.
[123] I've read a number of books in the last year since we've last spoken on this podcast about mental health and I've really managed to develop my own opinions on why our generation and society today has so many mental health issues to the point where I think it's a lot.
[124] bit of a crisis.
[125] And I think about, and I'm going to talk very honestly and openly here, because this is what this podcast is all about.
[126] I don't want to have to think about being PC, right, or monitoring or filtering my opinion.
[127] I just don't have the fucking time, all the patients.
[128] So here's my thoughts.
[129] Human beings weren't built with mental health issues.
[130] We weren't created to have, you know, we didn't evolve with these mental health issues.
[131] I think a lot of the mental health issues, not all of them, but I think a lot of them are from, causes that we don't yet fully appreciate, I 100 % agree that there are biological and therefore medical reasons why we get mental health issues.
[132] The science supports that.
[133] But I think because of the way that mental health issues have exploded into our generation, I guess, and into our society today, there must be other reasons.
[134] There must also be societal reasons.
[135] There must also be cultural reasons, because that is the only thing that's changed from now versus, say, a million years ago.
[136] Of course, awareness has changed as well.
[137] And being aware of these things has had a tremendous impact because people now feel they can talk about them.
[138] The stigma has been removed to some extent.
[139] There's still a stigma there, but to some extent.
[140] And so societal factors are the things that I focus on the most.
[141] And when I think about human beings and how we came to survive, There's this great book called Lost Connections, and here's a little bit of a hint.
[142] Here's a little bit of a reveal.
[143] I've got the author of this book on this podcast.
[144] I recorded this with him in London.
[145] But to back up a sec, great book called Lost Connections, which really examines this.
[146] And basically it says this.
[147] A million years ago, we evolved to where we are today over that period of time.
[148] And a million years ago, we lived in much different ways.
[149] And it's mind -blowing to me that the way we used to live is the way that doctors and social psychologists and a lot of other people advise us to live today if we want to improve our mental well -being.
[150] Listen, on the point of mental well -being, everybody has mental health, okay, in the same way that you have physical health.
[151] Mental health isn't a binary thing.
[152] It's not you're either ill or you're fine.
[153] It's a spectrum in my mind.
[154] right?
[155] So we all have mental well -being.
[156] And if you want to improve your mental well -being according to social psychologists and others, they tell you to do things like exercise, to spend time with friends and family.
[157] These are all the things that science has proven improve our mental well -being.
[158] A million years ago, we were tribal animals, right?
[159] We lived with our loved ones and our friends.
[160] And I think this is why the book is called Lost Connections, because we've really lost our connections.
[161] Today, we live alone, generally, between four white walls, right?
[162] We don't see our loved ones.
[163] And when we speak to our loved ones, we do so by tapping glass screens, iPhones, androids.
[164] We also used to live in nature.
[165] And there's something about nature, which is innately human and calms our soul.
[166] There's this great study they've done in this book, lost connections where if you look prisoners in a prison that are looking out on nature are like 30 % less likely to be depressed than the prisoners looking out on concrete and that speaks to the innate sort of social needs that we have as human beings that we've lost today we don't live in nature we live in concrete jungles between four white walls and the other thing which I think is so so important is exercise.
[167] As tribe animals and humans, thousands and thousands of years ago, we used to walk, run, to hunt.
[168] We used to be active and we used to do activity and daily exercise every single day.
[169] We now use Uber to get around.
[170] So for me, when I think about mental health and how I can improve my own mental well -being, it's all of those things that involve getting back to being more human.
[171] It's spending more time with my friends and family.
[172] It's daily exercise.
[173] It's being out in nature more.
[174] These are all the thing.
[175] And the book Lost Connections talks about how the feelings of anxiety and depression and loneliness are the human in us calling us to get back to our tribe, to get back to how we lived.
[176] It's the pain of the way that the world is today, the loneliness.
[177] And there's this stat in the book that really blew my mind.
[178] It says that the modal answer, so the most common answer to the question, how many people could you turned to in a time of crisis for Americans is now zero.
[179] A decade ago, it was three.
[180] Now, the most common answer is zero.
[181] We have lost our connections.
[182] Okay, point two in my diary.
[183] I've just written this one sentence.
[184] I'm just going to read it as I've written it.
[185] I've written, fucking trust your gut, you fucking asshole.
[186] And just to give some context to that, the reason why I'm so annoyed is because once again, my gut knew something and I chose to ignore it because my head thinks it's smarter.
[187] There is no part of you that is, and this is, this experience comes from running a business.
[188] And part of running a business, a big global business is you have to hire and meet a lot of people.
[189] So you have your gut instinct, which is always there, but then you make your decision based on your head and your gut usually, but also on CVs and, you know, qualifications.
[190] and things like that.
[191] We've probably hired about 350 people in the last four years, right?
[192] And so what I get a very clear gauge of is what my gut thought of a person and then how they panned out.
[193] So this point in my diary, me calling myself an asshole for not trusting my gut again, comes from the realization four years in that my gut already knew.
[194] My gut already knew.
[195] My gut remembers.
[196] My gut remembers how people who, felt like this felt like the person you're meeting or interviewing or the relationship prospect how they all pan out and your gut doesn't forgive it doesn't forget in the same way that your head sometimes talks yourself out of your gut right so i'm pissed off once again in my diary because not trusting my gut has cost me more than anything in my life not trusting my gut and the other thing is sometimes your gut comes in, six months in, and it says to you, listen, Jenny, or listen, Steve, I told you six months ago about this person.
[197] I told you to trust your instincts, right?
[198] And I'm giving you another chance now to correct it immediately.
[199] And then your head shows up again and says, well, just give them another chance.
[200] Maybe it'll be different this time.
[201] Trust your gut.
[202] Ladies and gentlemen, I promise you.
[203] Trust your gut.
[204] We don't trust our instincts enough.
[205] and I genuinely feel that the gut, right, sounds like a horrible word, but I feel like that is the thing that helped us to survive as human beings.
[206] On the savannah, I don't know, tens of thousands of years ago, or whenever it was, when we saw that lion and we looked up at that lion, and we didn't go over and think, hey, I want to pet it, because we knew deep down that it would bite our hand off, and chew us and mawle us to death and suffocate us with its teeth, that was our gut instinct.
[207] I think the same thing is still present today in us, and it's a survival thing, manifests itself in this unexplainable prejudice you get when you meet somebody.
[208] I think it's important.
[209] I think that our eyes and our head and our brain are too logical sometimes for that thing that caused us to survive.
[210] for the last million years as a species.
[211] So all I'm saying is your gut is your weapon and just trust and follow it because I can, yeah, as I said, me being stubborn and not learning from my fucking, you know, my mistake, my, sorry, I'm pissed off at this because it's one of those things that I just wish I did more often, but the chances are tomorrow I still will go with my head and try and talk my gut out of it.
[212] Because sometimes the apparent evidence can be too, compelling that you have to, you know, you have to, you feel you have to go for somebody.
[213] Damn.
[214] Trust your gut, ladies and gentlemen.
[215] I have failed over and over and over again at one thing.
[216] And if you've listened to this podcast, you've watched my vlogs, you will know exactly what I'm talking about.
[217] In 2018, I got fat, really fat.
[218] Fat in relation to how I've been my whole life.
[219] It's the fattest year of my life.
[220] 2018 and how did it happen it happened because i ate a lot surprise it happened because i ate a lot and i didn't exercise and also i just didn't give a fuck about eating more so i would just and you know what i had a great time eating all those pizzas but ultimately you know your body is really your only possession everything else you're just leasing but your body is your only real possession and i think the thing is, as I've written in my diary here, which leads on to my next point, and this is exactly what I wrote, who the fuck do I want to be?
[221] That's the question I left in my diary, and it's been sat there for about four months now, staring at me. Who the fuck do I want to be?
[222] And I know for a fact this year and last year, but I failed, I want to be the best version of myself.
[223] And I believe so, so deeply in fitness and being healthy.
[224] When I go to the gym, I am happier.
[225] I have more energy because I sleep like a baby.
[226] My skin's better.
[227] You have a better sex life.
[228] Everything is better.
[229] And I look better.
[230] And therefore my confidence is higher.
[231] I feel great.
[232] And in this year, I'm going to ask myself more often who the fuck do I want to be and most importantly are my current actions eating pizza laying around, being lazy in line with who I want to be and last year my actions were not in line with who I want to be I'm going to be honest with you right now right there's this straw next to me and it is full of chocolate bars and guess what I am hungry it is 4 a .m. in the morning I have a dairy, dairy milk chocolate bar.
[233] There's two whisper chocolate bars.
[234] There's another caramel chocolate bar.
[235] I didn't put them there, by the way.
[236] This is a hotel.
[237] But I've just closed the door.
[238] Because my actions of eating those fucking chocolate bars are not in line with who I desperately want to be.
[239] And I think everybody is defined by how they react too hard.
[240] It is hard for me not to eat those chocolate bars right now.
[241] It is hard for me to do an extra chocolate.
[242] rep in the gym.
[243] It is hard for me to go up on stage when I'm nervous.
[244] Not that I'm nervous these days, but back in the day.
[245] It is hard to work an extra hour recording a podcast at 4 a .m. in the morning now when I really want to sleep and I know that I have to be awake at 3 a .m. We are all defined by how we react too hard.
[246] When that thought crosses your mind, this is hard, right?
[247] Your decision in that moment is a defining one.
[248] That's who you are.
[249] And how we react to hard is based on how bad we want the thing on the other side of hard, you know?
[250] And so the reason I'm not eating those fucking chocolate bars is because, A, that's not who I want to be.
[251] And I know that if I make the decision and I cave in, then I won't get the thing on the other side of hard.
[252] And the thing on the other side of hard for me this year is going to the gym, looking great and being healthy.
[253] In the last, I would say, So I started going to the gym in late December.
[254] I've been going for 17 days in a row now.
[255] And I'm not deterred by the fact that I've failed almost every year at this health and fitness.
[256] Let's just call it a resolution, you know.
[257] I'm not deterred by that.
[258] I am going to try again.
[259] And 99 % of you listening to this should logically not believe me. But let's just see what happens.
[260] I feel great.
[261] I've lost about, how much have I lost?
[262] About six pounds in the last 17 days.
[263] And when I do things, I'm obsessive about them.
[264] So I've not eaten a carb and bad carb in those 17 days.
[265] I've only eaten salads.
[266] I won't even look at a fucking mint just in case it's going to, it's that, you know, I look at these things now as the enemy.
[267] This drawer full of chocolate is the enemy.
[268] And kind of linking on to that, I've got this other point in my diary here, which I wanted to share.
[269] I get asked all the time what book or podcast or quote inspired me to become who I wanted to be.
[270] And the truth is, I wasn't inspired by a podcast or a book or a quote.
[271] This is just who I am.
[272] Faults and all, right?
[273] I'm far from perfect.
[274] This is who I am.
[275] I'm not trying to be this.
[276] I'm not acting.
[277] I became who I am today, in fact.
[278] And this is the crazy thing, when I stopped acting, when I stopped trying to be somebody else, everybody else, this is who I am.
[279] And I genuinely think, I genuinely genuinely, this might be the most important thing I've ever said on the internet ever.
[280] I genuinely believe that if you want to become great, happy, successful, all you need to do is stop.
[281] being everyone else or trying to be someone else.
[282] I think, disguised behind that mask in the ego and all of those things, there is a really amazing human being, right?
[283] A really, and a human being that the world needs.
[284] Not a fucking clone of Mark Zuckerberg or someone else or grave.
[285] Someone the world desperately needs.
[286] And I think if you can take down the mask, take down your ego, and focus on being that person without care of what people might say, what your mother might do, what your dad might, you know, who you might disown you, what your friends might laugh at you for.
[287] I think that's the greatest version of yourself.
[288] And it's taken me, what, 26 odd years to figure this out?
[289] But the best version of Steve is a Steve that just doesn't give a fuck.
[290] Is the Steve that just does him and tries to be better, but also admits that he's crap at a lot of things in most things.
[291] So, yeah, that's what I've got to say on that diary entry.
[292] Okay, so this is an interesting point in my diary.
[293] I've just written, I need to learn to say sorry more.
[294] Where has this come from?
[295] Hmm, here's the thing.
[296] When we mess up and we hurt people, there's a powerful, almost magical way to help to repair the situation.
[297] It's completely free.
[298] It takes one second and anyone can do it.
[299] Say, I'm sorry.
[300] It sounds so simple, but it's almost impossible if you care about your ego more than you care about anybody else or anything else or the hurt you might have done or the damage you've done.
[301] And I have been a criminal when it comes to this.
[302] I have been so guilty because at Thai, I'm such an incredibly stubborn person at times, you know.
[303] I'm someone that doesn't always like being wrong.
[304] And sometimes I'm wrong.
[305] And when I judge the situation, I judge it from a bias perspective where I want to win.
[306] And I've come to learn, especially over the last 12 months, the liberating important value of saying sorry more.
[307] Even when you're not wrong, you're just saying sorry because of the way you've made someone feel.
[308] And not enough people do this.
[309] And I think they'll go through their lives, damaging important things, relationships, you know, in the pursuit of winning, but ultimately lose because they can't detach themselves from their ego and their ego becomes more important than anything else.
[310] I'm victim of it.
[311] I'm sorry.
[312] I do this.
[313] I just said it.
[314] I just said, I'm sorry.
[315] I do this more than a lot of people.
[316] So I think this year, I really want to focus on making sure that I say sorry more often.
[317] And even when I'm not, I have nothing to be.
[318] sorry for.
[319] Just being sorry for how I've made you feel.
[320] That wasn't my intention.
[321] And while I'm here and we're talking about two words, the other two words that I think are just incredibly important to say, which again, I do not say enough.
[322] Again, completely free can have a tremendous impact on relationships and people around you.
[323] In fact, these two words get you more things in your life that you will love.
[324] And the words are, thank you.
[325] An expression of gratitude, especially when you're in a sort of a management position or a director position is so important because it be gets more things to be thankful about from people around you.
[326] But in life in general, if you can be thankful for more things, your perspective becomes more grateful.
[327] So even if you go through the same things as everybody else, if you have a more grateful perspective, it will feel like your life has been better, you've got more and you've had better time.
[328] So gratitude as a perspective change, I think, starts with being thankful more and saying thank you more often.
[329] That's my little rant.
[330] So those two words, I hope everybody listening can do more to bring into their lives more.
[331] I'm sorry and thank you.
[332] Let me just do a left turn and let's talk about business for a second.
[333] So in season one of the podcast, I told you that I was flying to America and I was moving my life to America to try and grow the business there.
[334] Here's the truth, okay?
[335] And I'm not sure if I'm allowed to say this, but, you know, this is what this podcast is all about.
[336] I get in trouble so much for things I say on this podcast, and I just apologize.
[337] I've had to apologize to, you know, family at times, to friends.
[338] I have to apologize to romantic partners all the time because all of my podcasts end in a very personal, honest recap of how my relationships are going currently.
[339] That always gets me in trouble, and I'm sure it will today, but here we fucking go.
[340] But I want to talk about business.
[341] I moved to the US to help grow the business there.
[342] In our first year in the US, we failed.
[343] Just the facts, right?
[344] We didn't get any traction.
[345] We weren't serious.
[346] We didn't invest enough.
[347] We didn't provide enough support to the guys that we'd sent there.
[348] We failed.
[349] Year two, progress, but not great.
[350] I'd consider year two a failure as well because the losses were significant, right?
[351] Year three, I flew out there in about March time.
[352] The team had gotten to a point where it was really, really looking good.
[353] And I have to, just before I go into this, I have to give all of the credit to the team.
[354] My, me flying out there really wasn't the reason why this business did so well this year.
[355] It was because of the team.
[356] And that isn't a humble thing I'm saying because I'm saying, yeah, whatever.
[357] That is just the truth.
[358] Okay.
[359] So that's the important thing.
[360] I flew out there in March.
[361] We really got going.
[362] We moved into a big new office space in the middle of Manhattan out of co -working and we work, which I fucking.
[363] find very claustrophobic at times and into our brand new office space and we went for it grew the team we're now about 30 people and our objective when we started 2018 was to grow the business's revenues by about a thousand percent in one year and I'm very happy and very proud of the team to say that the US team did that this year they grew the business by about a thousand percent and because of that things are getting serious out there and I couldn't be more excited I'm full of just energy when I think about the challenge out there and the growth of the business and I believe in those people so fucking much I believe in every single member of that team and this year we appointed a new managing director of the social chain USA which gives me more time to do other things and think about the business from a more global perspective.
[364] A guy called Oliver Yonchev, who was one of our real A players in the UK.
[365] Oliver turned to me and said he wants a challenge.
[366] He said he wants to go to America and apply for a job in a leadership role.
[367] I said I was looking for a managing director.
[368] He interviewed among with a couple of others, and he passed with flying colours.
[369] So Oliver now has moved his life from Sheffield to New York City.
[370] And it's good.
[371] Listen, it sounds like everybody's dream come true, but it is tough.
[372] And Oliver, I don't know if you're listening, mate, but you're going to go through a lot of tough things.
[373] I'm sure you're aware, but on personal, on a personal level, there'll be, you know, you'll feel isolated, big old city, you know, no friends there thus far.
[374] So you'll feel isolated.
[375] You might miss your girlfriend a lot.
[376] I'm sure you will.
[377] But oh my God, will it be worth it.
[378] So that's what, that's what, where we are with the US challenge which I talked a lot about in season one the UK business boom tremendous what a brilliant brilliant year the team have just been I don't know we the profits of the UK business grew by something like 5, 600 % and I couldn't be proud of the team and what they've done the UK business from what I understand now is even the number one or maybe it's number two but I think it's number one Let's just say it's number one for the sake of this podcast and for the sake of bragging.
[379] I think it's now the number one social marketing agency in the country.
[380] Someone, feel free to fact check me on that and just DM me. But I believe it is in terms of revenue.
[381] And so I'm so immensely proud, it's the story of, you know, this young, different team that have disrupted decade -old, massive agencies.
[382] And we're all a bunch of dropouts.
[383] And even those that are now much more senior and experienced, they too are.
[384] of the same disruptive mindset that we all are.
[385] And I just couldn't be prouder.
[386] So just to recap on the business updates, social chains breakout year was 2018.
[387] And now that the US has its own managing director, the UK is also led by its own managing director, Katie Leeson, who has an amazing podcast, by the way, called I Shouldn't Say This But, which I just featured on.
[388] Now that that's done, I now have more time to invest in my content, in my podcast, in my vlogs, in everything.
[389] And hopefully, 2019 is the breakout year for the personal brand and for my personal brand, looking to bring on two new people to help with the personal brand initiatives, just to make sure that all of my content is consistent so that all of you guys and girls don't have to wait.
[390] And thank you for the patience because you've allowed me the 12 months to build up our US business, and it couldn't be in a better place.
[391] Lots of work to be done as always, but I'm just very thankful that we, that we, that we, did it, you know, that we did it.
[392] Strange thing to say.
[393] Anyway.
[394] Okay, so a few more little notes that scribbled into my diary.
[395] None of these points are particularly connected, but they're written here, so I'm going to tell you.
[396] The first one, I've just written, don't let the pressures from the fairy tales of how your life is meant to be going, get you down.
[397] Everyone's timing is different.
[398] And the reason I wrote this is because I received a very disturbing and saddening call at about 3 a .m. from a kid who I'm just going to call John for his own privacy.
[399] And this kid had just taken off, he had just proposed to his girlfriend and he'd just taken off his engagement ring after she'd said no. And he'd thrown it into a lake.
[400] And he was stood by the lake and he called me to tell me that he was going to kill himself.
[401] He was going to jump in the lake.
[402] And this was at 3 a .m. in the morning.
[403] I can't remember where I was where I was in the world.
[404] But I immediately jumped up out of bed and I started chatting to him.
[405] And one of the things he said to me, which really, really got to me at the time and still kind of plays on my mind today, is he said, I'm going to kill myself, nothing in my life is going right, I don't have anything going for me and I look at your life, Steve, and you have everything figured out.
[406] Oh my fucking God.
[407] This guy is 22 years old, and because of social media, because of comparison, toxic comparison, might I add, he's now considering throwing himself in a lake because he feels inadequate.
[408] And the thought that him looking at my life and thinking from the outside that it's all perfect has contributed to that was really, oh my God.
[409] But I wouldn't be saying this if this was an isolated incident.
[410] my DMs and my direct messages specifically on Instagram, which I really check a lot, are full of young people who are literally under the age of 25, who are killing themselves, not in a literal sense, in a figurative sense, killing themselves because they aren't there yet, because they aren't super rich, super successful, because they haven't got all the answers, nobody has all the fucking answers.
[411] I don't have all the answers.
[412] My life isn't perfect.
[413] What you see from the outside, right, of my life, is I've got one thing kind of going well, which is like my career and my professional, you know, the professional side of what I do, social change the business, that stuff's going well.
[414] Everything else, you beat me on everything else.
[415] You're closer to your family, which is probably more important, according to science, than running a business, by the way.
[416] You probably, you had a girlfriend.
[417] I know you proposed and she said no, but, mate, I can't even fucking hold down a relationship.
[418] So you're beating me there as well.
[419] You're probably better at getting your haircut and keeping yourself like trimmed and stuff like that you probably take better care of yourself you probably sleep better than i do i'm winning on one thing and that's the thing that i dance about online so don't fucking sweat it and think i have everything figured out because bro no one does i'm still i'm desperately still trying to figure out most elements of my life right and i am sorry if i gave you the impression that i was perfect or if anybody else is doing that It is bullshit.
[420] Bullshit.
[421] Trust me. Nobody is successful as Instagram makes them look.
[422] And nobody is as pretty as filters make them seem.
[423] The only worthwhile comparison, the only comparison that stands to make your future bright is the comparison of you today versus you yesterday.
[424] Comparison is deadly.
[425] And it holds such an immense eye.
[426] because in the pursuit of comparing yourself to someone and therefore wanting to be better, you end up doing a bunch of shit that holds you back.
[427] You end up being jealous.
[428] You end up trying to take shortcuts.
[429] And there is no shortcuts, right?
[430] Comparison is toxic.
[431] And it ultimately ends up leading to you to the one place you didn't want to be, right?
[432] Which is not your full potential, not your best self and all of those things.
[433] Do not.
[434] compare yourself to others kids please and adults and whoever's listening please i beg you okay so i've written in my diary the next note which is just still trying to figure out what this is all about and in season one of the podcast you would have felt me going on a bit of a journey do you know what i actually think season one of recording this podcast taught me more about life just by having to write in my diary and then speak about it than anything else i've ever done you guys in this format and this podcast helped me get closer to understanding the meaning of my life and the purpose of my life.
[435] Um, and I've basically written here that I'm still trying to figure out what that's what it's all about because I've gotten a lot closer.
[436] Once upon a time, 18 year old Steve, as you guys all know, wrote in his diary that he wanted millions of pounds before he was 25 and a range of a sport.
[437] 25 year old Steve had, uh, was worth millions and, um, had a range of a sport, right?
[438] Upon getting there, I realized that if I spent my whole life chasing this material bullshit, I would live a very, very miserable existence.
[439] And there's this great, great important study done by a professor called Tim Kessa, which scientifically proves in his study, but then in 21 other studies, that people who go through life valuing extrinsic things and doing things for extrinsic reasons, which means external reasons, basically.
[440] So to impress a girl, to look fancy, to look good on Instagram, to get likes, to get laid.
[441] All of those things, they end up being less happy, more depressed and everything else, right?
[442] And people that do things for internal reasons, they are nice because they want to be nice.
[443] They play piano because of the joy of it, not because they're trying to get laid or paid.
[444] They see their family and spend time with their family because they love their family.
[445] They go for walks because they love nature, not because of any external reasons or for external motives.
[446] science shows those people are the most happiest, the less depressed, the less anxious and they experience more joy.
[447] So, this podcast doubles up for me as a journey of me figuring out alone with you listening, hopefully, or hopefully not, what life is all about.
[448] And where I am right now is here.
[449] I know that money isn't life.
[450] I know that money won't make me happier.
[451] What I do know is that using my money to help friends, family, people in need does make me deeply happy.
[452] It gives me a deep sense of being fulfilled and, you know, it's rewarding for me. So for me, when it comes to money, what I now know is it's not about collecting more money or showing off how much money you have.
[453] It's how you use it.
[454] And if you use it in the right way, money really can have a really sort of rewarding impact on your life.
[455] The second thing is just about doing good in general.
[456] For some bizarre reason, which I'm yet to understand, there is very few things that are as rewarding as helping others.
[457] And this is something everyone's always said, but I've never understood.
[458] But most of the fun in my role, in my job, in my life comes from helping others, whether that's an intern that's just started at social chain, whether it's someone that messages me on Instagram, or whatever it might be.
[459] And so I also know that that's hugely important for my future.
[460] And whatever I end up doing in the future, whether it's 10 years or 20 years time, it'll be linked to that.
[461] And in fact, I do have a business idea.
[462] Do I tell you about this business idea on this podcast or do I just wait?
[463] Hmm, what should I do?
[464] I'm going to hold off a little bit on this business idea.
[465] I'm going to hold off on telling you the business idea for the future.
[466] But it's to do with helping people.
[467] It's to do with a few of the things I've described today.
[468] It's actually quite heavily linked to mental health as well.
[469] And I just think that, you know, with all the skills I've learned over the last couple of whatever, whatever period of time, it makes a lot of sense.
[470] And the funny thing is, at all stages in my life, I've accurately predicted what my next step is professionally.
[471] And so when I first started Wall Park, I predicted that my next business would be in marketing.
[472] As I said to Dom, who's now my business partner, I said my next business will be in marketing.
[473] And then now my prediction is that my next business will be in the mental health arena.
[474] That's all I'm saying.
[475] Should I tell you more?
[476] Let's leave it at that.
[477] Okay, so all of my podcasts end the same way, which is me talking about my relationships.
[478] In my diary, I've written, relationship situation is pretty fucked.
[479] Almost all of my notes this week have swear words in it.
[480] I do apologize if that's, if you don't like me swearing.
[481] I just, it's just how I speak in my head, you know?
[482] this is not new news to me but one of the things I've come to learn from a certain people certain okay a certain girl telling me is that I'm really not emotionally there sometimes and I do really really worry that my own selfishness and my own sort of like emotional vacancy is that a word I'm emotionally vacant um and my relentless desire to build a business will cost me the happiness of a meaningful relationship and meaningful relationships with family and others as well, but more so in a romantic sense, I so desperately hope that when I get into the situation where I'm with somebody or in a relationship, whatever, I can be more compromising and emotionally there because I, for whatever reason, I'm a bit of a cold bastard.
[483] Like, I am a bit of a bit of an ice king.
[484] You know, my heart is made of, it's like I struggle with, affection and I struggle to care.
[485] I'm very ruthless and I'm too focused on this one element of my life, which is business and being successful, that I am crap at, you know, I don't know, it's just really hard, you know, you just can't have it all in life.
[486] You can't be, you can't be the best at everything.
[487] You can't be the best at being a young entrepreneur, the best at making, I don't know, making wedding dresses, the best at podcasting, the best that relationships, the best at family, all at the same time.
[488] So I do feel that there's an element of sacrifice, but I just don't, all of the science and everything worth, you know, worth reading tells me that relationships and friendships are such an integral part of being happy.
[489] And all of this is about happiness.
[490] Let's not get it fucking twisted.
[491] This is the journey of happiness.
[492] I think that's why my favorite film is the pursuit of happiness, because that's what life is all about.
[493] It's the pursuit of happiness.
[494] And we all have different opinions about how happiness arrives.
[495] Some of us think it's by buying bentley's and Lamborghinis.
[496] Some of us think it's by helping animals.
[497] Some of us think it's, you know, and the truth is our happiness comes in different ways, but there are fundamental human things that will make us happy.
[498] And one of those, unarguably, undoubtedly, is other human beings.
[499] It's romantic relationships.
[500] It's the love of family.
[501] family.
[502] And so if this is all about the pursuit of happiness, if this is what I'm doing here, then surely, surely I have to prioritize romantic relationships, family and all those things.
[503] It's just something that I've struggled with for the longest time.
[504] If you guys have listened to the season one of the podcast, you will feel my struggles with this.
[505] I'm single right now.
[506] I am, I guess, like loosely speaking to somebody.
[507] on and off.
[508] I'm getting told off a lot at the moment for being a bit of a jackass when it comes to being considerate and understanding how they feel and just talking enough.
[509] But other than that, I'm single and I don't necessarily want to be single either.
[510] I do think life is great when you're in a relationship and you're close to somebody and all these things and they live close and you see them every day and all these things.
[511] It's just circumstance doesn't allow that at the moment.
[512] Anyway, before, you know, what time is it now?
[513] It's 429.
[514] So I must have been recording this for about an hour.
[515] And I've got to be up in about two and a half hours.
[516] So let me get to bed.
[517] But listen, thank you so much for listening to the podcast.
[518] It does mean the world to me. As always, this is therapy.
[519] And now that I've recorded this episode, I just can't understand why I don't do this more often.
[520] It's so good for me. Do me a massive favor.
[521] Pretty please.
[522] pretty please um can you review the podcast in the podcast store the iTunes store five stars please or wherever else you listen to it um and if you do please just leave your instagram name or handle in the review and when i go through um i will message a bunch of you that have done it um that have reviewed at five stars um message me privately about the podcast tweet me your thoughts please share it online every single person that messages me about this episode about the podcast in general I will reply to, I promise you.
[523] And I'm so deeply happy to have this format, this medium of communicating with you back.
[524] And I can't wait for you to hear this series.
[525] We have some amazing guests and some amazing moments that I've recorded all around the world.
[526] I'll continue to do the solo podcast.
[527] The format I'm thinking is of doing one on my own and then doing one with a guest, and one of my own, the one with a guest.
[528] Let me know what you think of that.
[529] Message me privately.
[530] but thanks again for tuning in.
[531] We'll be back soon next week, next week, to be precise, with episode two, which has already been recorded with an amazing guest, and I can't wait to share that with you.
[532] So thanks again, please review it.
[533] Thanks, share it, love you.
[534] Bye -bye.