Javier Bardem

[0] Hi, my name is Javier Bardem, and I feel scared about being Conan O 'Brien's friend.

[1] You should be scared.

[2] Please hear the yell.

[3] Back to school.

[4] Ring the bell.

[5] Brand new shoes.

[6] Walking loose.

[7] Climb the fence, books and pens.

[8] I can tell that we are going to be friends.

[9] Yes, I can tell that we are going to be friends.

[10] Hey there.

[11] Welcome to Conan O 'Brien Needs a Friend.

[12] Joined today, as I always am, by the lovely and talented Son Monsessian.

[13] Hi.

[14] Would you say?

[15] Nothing.

[16] No, no, no. I said talented.

[17] Oh, yeah.

[18] Let's try it again.

[19] I got off to the wrong start.

[20] Here we go.

[21] Talented is not what I used to describe myself.

[22] Here we go.

[23] Hey there.

[24] Welcome to Conan O 'Brien Needs a Friend.

[25] One of the best podcasts that we've ever made, joined by Sonam Obsessian.

[26] How are you, Sona?

[27] Good.

[28] This is, you know, the best podcast.

[29] I've ever been in.

[30] We've won several prestigious awards, you know.

[31] Have we?

[32] I think so.

[33] Have we?

[34] We have, right?

[35] Yeah.

[36] Yeah, okay, cool.

[37] Yeah, this is important to know.

[38] That's good.

[39] Yeah.

[40] Congrats.

[41] I don't know.

[42] I haven't seen the actual statues.

[43] I haven't either.

[44] Yeah, I don't, I think it was a prank.

[45] And also joined by Matt Goreley.

[46] How are you, Matt?

[47] I'm good.

[48] How are you?

[49] I'm very well, thank you.

[50] Oh, what is that?

[51] Why, do I not look well?

[52] Well, usually by now you've insulted me, so it was.

[53] I don't insult you a lot.

[54] That's a bit.

[55] you know that.

[56] I'm a really good guy to you and our off -mike time all the times I've taken you out fishing.

[57] What off -mike time, Dad.

[58] Taking you fishing.

[59] And the cats in the cradle and the silver spoon.

[60] Yeah, I'm feeling good.

[61] And, you know, I want to bring up something.

[62] Sona sent me this terrifying video the other day, absolutely terrifying of the moment that her life changed for the worst.

[63] Oh, shit.

[64] She sent me a video, and I guess you're your twins, Mikey and Charlie, they're in side -by -side cribs.

[65] You have always put them to bed at night and then you wake up in the morning and they're right there in side -by -side cribs.

[66] And you woke up one morning and they were both in the same crib and you went and you checked the night camera.

[67] Yeah.

[68] And you sent me this video and it's Charlie and you can see it's when a in like a planet of the apes movie where the ape's, The ape learns how to make fire or the ape learns how to log on to a computer.

[69] Yeah, 2001.

[70] You can see this moment where Charlie's probably as he has for months now.

[71] He's kind of struggling and he's kind of struggling.

[72] And then he kind of, he's almost there and then he gets up.

[73] He's pulling himself up and he gets kind of to the top.

[74] And then you see he has this look in his eye and he just dives on his brother.

[75] And you hear, and they both start shrieking.

[76] and pounding each other and you realize your life is over.

[77] It's over.

[78] Was Mikey asleep?

[79] No, Mikey was awake.

[80] He was like basically cheering his brother on.

[81] Then when Charlie did it, Mikey's like, oh shit, we can do this.

[82] So now they're both climbing not just into each other's cribs.

[83] They're just climbing out of their cribs.

[84] How do they get out the other side without falling?

[85] They do fall.

[86] They don't care.

[87] They're just looking for freedom.

[88] Then by the end of the night, it's much later on.

[89] You see them mixing various powders to create TNT.

[90] You can see that they figured out the road, like, you gotta have some sulfur.

[91] They're, and they're, and they're figuring out, no, that's too much.

[92] This is just the right amount.

[93] And by the end, they're putting it into a brass cylinder.

[94] Yeah.

[95] And they fire off a howitzer.

[96] No, but I mean, you're screwed because, they're evolving.

[97] They're evolving very quickly.

[98] I know.

[99] I know.

[100] I'm screwed.

[101] And now they, like, in the morning, they'll just jump out of their crib.

[102] They, open the doors, they'll, like, run into our room.

[103] Do you ever hear the car start?

[104] You're lying in bed thinking, well, they're probably going to watch cartoons.

[105] Into reverse, peels out, your credit card's missing.

[106] Oh, no, it's only a matter of time.

[107] It's awful.

[108] I don't know what to do.

[109] People are like you could put a canopy over the crib, but then I just feel like they're in a cage.

[110] Don't fight it.

[111] Don't fight it.

[112] I know.

[113] I'm just going to make it.

[114] Or maybe you're on to something, cage them.

[115] Yeah, feral.

[116] No, you know, it's funny because we have, we have dogs and cats, but we have one dog that's just hyper.

[117] And he likes it.

[118] We learned a long time ago.

[119] He would rather at night sleep in a crate.

[120] He just kind of prefers it.

[121] So we'd put him in this crate.

[122] This is you you're talking about?

[123] Yeah.

[124] No, our dog.

[125] Okay.

[126] Oh, right.

[127] Yeah.

[128] So we put him in his crate and then he figured out recently because he wakes up at five and he wants to.

[129] He wants to party down.

[130] And it is a really complicated system of like a latch that's very complicated.

[131] I have trouble working it.

[132] It's, and I'm always like, I think I, okay, there I think I've unlocked it correctly.

[133] Now I've locked it correctly.

[134] He figured out recently how to unlock the cage.

[135] Oh, my God.

[136] And so at five in the morning, he'll pound on the door with his head and then push the door open and come in.

[137] And he's like, what are we doing?

[138] Wow.

[139] What's the plan?

[140] That's crazy.

[141] He waits till five.

[142] Yeah.

[143] It's always five or five -thirty.

[144] And I'm saying now we have to weld it shut every night.

[145] Because I think if we thought about using like garbage ties, but I think he would, you'd just see paws untying them.

[146] Yeah.

[147] And then he'd probably know where he could return them or recycle them.

[148] If people want to escape, they're just going to escape.

[149] I mean, we had a hamster that escaped for like two weeks and somewhere in our house and we couldn't find him for two weeks.

[150] Did you, was he dead when you didn't?

[151] No, he found him.

[152] He was just living his life outside of his cage.

[153] Wait a minute.

[154] How did he live all that time?

[155] He was eating just random shit that he would find.

[156] Did you notice that he had his own profile on your television?

[157] His own Netflix account.

[158] He had his own Netflix account and it just had a little emoji of a hamster.

[159] Who's watching these romances?

[160] These, who's watching?

[161] He's just, human romance?

[162] Yeah, he's watching human romances.

[163] Who's watching all these Bridgetons?

[164] All the 50 Shades movie.

[165] And all the 50 Shades movies and your hamster's just up at night.

[166] He keeps pulling out.

[167] He put beads in her ass.

[168] Come on.

[169] Oh, Minnie would never.

[170] What are you talking about?

[171] It's a highly erotic scene for hamsters.

[172] In fact, some people think a hamster can go up there is quite pleasurable.

[173] Come on.

[174] I'm going to tell you a true story.

[175] I'll tell you a...

[176] I'm clutching my pearls.

[177] I'm going to tell you a true story.

[178] story very This is Eiffel Tower What the fuck?

[179] Yeah.

[180] You've said more, you've described more hideous sexual positions than anyone in the history of podcasts.

[181] Okay.

[182] Oh, it's the, it's the pirate.

[183] The angry pirate.

[184] That's my favorite.

[185] Okay, listen.

[186] Sorry, we can't go back there.

[187] You did that.

[188] I have to get this out really quickly, which is, because we brought up, I brought up a hamster maybe as a sexual deviant act.

[189] An act of sexual deviance.

[190] Anyway, okay.

[191] You know there was that rumor about Richard Gere?

[192] Yeah, sure.

[193] From years and years ago that Richard Gere enjoyed having a hamster placed in his bottom.

[194] A gerbil.

[195] Oh, it was a gerbil.

[196] Yeah, it was a gerbil.

[197] It was a big difference.

[198] Is there?

[199] I don't know.

[200] I don't know.

[201] Hey, guess what?

[202] I'm telling you, they feel the same to me. But anyway, there was this rumor that, you know, that, okay, Richard Gere had done that.

[203] And then flash forward to, it's 1993, I think, and I'm doing my late night show, and it's those early days when it was really kooky, and it's always off the rails every night, and we might get canceled any second.

[204] And the guest that night was Mickey Rooney, who was, as we all know, the biggest movie star in 1940.

[205] And he, now at this point, he's like 85 years old, and he's pretty kooky and out there.

[206] And he's come on, and he's Mickey Rooney, and he's telling stories.

[207] about 1940 I was the biggest star in the world and he's talking, he's telling all these old show business anecdotes and he's there.

[208] And then at one point he starts talking about a movie he had just seen.

[209] I forget which one it was, if it was Chicago or something.

[210] And he went, and it has that actor in it.

[211] What's his name?

[212] He was in.

[213] And we're trying to figure out Andy and I are there.

[214] And this is actual footage exists of this somewhere.

[215] But Andy and I are trying to help him figure out what the, who the actor is.

[216] And he went, it was this actor and we were.

[217] kind of honing in on who it might be, but we hadn't said yet.

[218] And we went, really?

[219] Well, was it?

[220] Was it?

[221] And all of a sudden, Mickey Rooney says, ah, yes, there was talk of gerbils.

[222] And the whole crowd gasped.

[223] And I, like, put my head on the desk, and Andy Richter loses it.

[224] There was talk of gerbils.

[225] And I swear to God, every now and then I wake up in the middle of the night, and I just think, there was talk.

[226] of gerbils.

[227] He says it in such a creepy, like, they say the headless horseman was never found again.

[228] But he's talking about gerbils going up Richard Gere's ass.

[229] Who was that actor?

[230] Who was he?

[231] I don't know.

[232] I don't know who it was.

[233] I'm trying to think, Mr. Rooney.

[234] Wait a minute.

[235] There was talk of gerbils.

[236] Guess what?

[237] This is going to be the new catechai.

[238] Oh, that's why you want people to yell at you on the street?

[239] When I walk around anywhere in the world, in the world, I mean, this happened to me in Thailand recently, people yell, Katakai.

[240] Well, guess what?

[241] We're switching it up.

[242] Yes.

[243] There was talk of gerbils.

[244] You've heard it here.

[245] That's the new phrase.

[246] Katakai is no longer active.

[247] You get no benefits from that.

[248] Only there was talk of gerbils.

[249] It was talk of gerbils.

[250] Let's move on to a very esteemed guest.

[251] Oh, no. He deserves better.

[252] He deserves so much better.

[253] Oh, my God.

[254] My guest today is an Academy Award -winning actor.

[255] So excited.

[256] There was talk of gerbils!

[257] I love how we drag everyone down into the month with us.

[258] My guest today is an Academy Award -winning actor who has started to his films as No Country for Old Men, Skyfall, and Vicky, Christina Barcelona.

[259] Now you can see him in Disney's live -action remake of The Little Mermaid in theaters, May 26.

[260] I am absolutely thrilled.

[261] He's here today.

[262] Javier Bardem, welcome.

[263] It is great, maybe the greatest honor of your life.

[264] I haven't done any research.

[265] I don't know if you've won any awards of any kind.

[266] I've heard talk of an Oscar, but who knows?

[267] Who cares?

[268] Who cares?

[269] This is the true honor of your life.

[270] No, no, listen, everything has led me to come here today.

[271] I worked hard for years, for ages.

[272] to be in front of you, man, because I love you.

[273] Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[274] You know, it was great.

[275] This man, you would come on the late night show many times or over the years.

[276] He came on several times, and you were always so funny because you just spoke from the heart.

[277] And it was so fantastic because you would look at me and you go, hey, man, your hair, you look like a fool.

[278] And the whole crowd would go crazy because they were like, yes, Javier, get him.

[279] Get him.

[280] I was like, what is this?

[281] What are you doing, man?

[282] What are you doing?

[283] It was fantastic.

[284] I would laugh so hard that on the way to the podcast you do today, thinking about seeing Javier again, I was laughing.

[285] Well, that's good.

[286] The only thing that I would ask for in any promotion is I want to go and see Conan O 'Brien.

[287] That's so nice.

[288] That is so nice.

[289] Here I am today.

[290] I'm so glad.

[291] I'm so honored.

[292] Your dream has come true and congratulations.

[293] Thank you so much.

[294] I hope it's really up there as I imagine.

[295] Well, this is a problem now.

[296] I used to have this problem with women.

[297] They would imagine that, you know, the word was out that I was a great lover.

[298] When did that get out?

[299] Well, I kept putting it out there.

[300] Okay, I figured.

[301] And then, of course, there was always disappointment and crying.

[302] I was crying often.

[303] But you're here now.

[304] It is so great to have you here.

[305] And we have to get a few things out of the way because we have some major insane fans in the room.

[306] My friend here, Matt, and I'm going to bring this up right now.

[307] is obsessed with James Bond movies.

[308] All right.

[309] And, and I agree with him, he maintains, and I will back him up on this, we both believe that you may be, if not the best, one of the greatest.

[310] I don't think there's even a question, frankly.

[311] Best Bond villain.

[312] Oh, wow.

[313] Best Bond villain, and your performance in Skyfall was so freaking insanely good.

[314] And I had all this mixture of qualities where there were times where I really, you sucked me in, and then I felt sorry for you.

[315] and I hated you, and it was, it just kept swirling around.

[316] What about you, Matt?

[317] Well, even just now when you said that everything led up to this moment is very much like what Silva says for James Bond.

[318] Frankly, I almost fainted.

[319] Because Conan is the most similar thing to James Bond.

[320] You got to, I mean, exactly, right?

[321] Yes, and that I am very pale.

[322] I'm going to open your shirt very soon and start carriecing your vertest.

[323] Oh, my God.

[324] Oh, my God.

[325] Oh, my God.

[326] I did that to Daniel Craig.

[327] Can you believe?

[328] Yes.

[329] I am the man who was touching Daniel Craig's breast, like this close.

[330] He was the man that had you touch his breast.

[331] That's the way it goes.

[332] Yeah.

[333] Now, does he, it's funny, you always wonder how planned out was a moment like that?

[334] Because it's such, you haven't seen that happen with James Bond.

[335] And it's this move, it's this move that's crossing all kinds of lines.

[336] It's so shocking.

[337] And I think, is that the kind of.

[338] of thing that's discussed beforehand, or can you just go for it with Daniel Craig?

[339] It was written, but till the moment we got on set and we started to put it on our feet, it was not, we didn't know how to achieve that moment.

[340] So we just, and Sam Mendoz loved rehearsal, but he said, you know what, we're going to shoot it.

[341] Let's see how he goes.

[342] And Daniel is the best partner ever.

[343] He was having a blast.

[344] Like, he really wanted to go as far as we could.

[345] As far as the studio will let us go.

[346] And I think the chemistry was there because we liked being with each other and playing with each other.

[347] But I think Sam Mendez was the heart of the heart and soul of the whole thing.

[348] He really wanted to create this profile of a villain that you can relate to.

[349] And it's more reliable than...

[350] Also, I thought that your relationship with Judy Dench, you know, as that's mom and trying to relate to James, Bond that we all do this for, you know, the queen is mom and this is mom.

[351] And so there's that element to it also.

[352] And I thought it's the most emotionally complex relationship with a Bond villain and showed you what these movies can do, what they can be.

[353] Because when I was a kid, I grew up and it was just, you know, you must die, Mr. Bond and petting the kitten.

[354] And you, it's a caricature.

[355] It's fun, but you never thought of these kinds of moments.

[356] Yeah.

[357] Absolutely.

[358] And that little walk you do from your monologue intro?

[359] Is it true that they built that set, basically the length of your walk so you could time that out?

[360] Well, when I got there, the set was built, so that's a lie.

[361] Okay.

[362] I have to, I have to walk.

[363] I just want you to know I'm a huge liar.

[364] That's why you are in this program, this podcast.

[365] Every day, he says, Conan, I really admire you.

[366] You're so funny.

[367] And you're good looking, too.

[368] Why aren't you in film?

[369] He says that all the time.

[370] Yeah.

[371] No, the thing is, it's that I never rehearsed on the set, but once I was there and I saw how far Daniel Craig was sitting down on a chair, like, man, how am I going to do this?

[372] And I'm going to tell you, we did it like seven times, and it was not there.

[373] So Sam and I, we look at each other and we said, this is not, we haven't done it.

[374] And he said, you know what, let's play the scene.

[375] And at the Yeah, if there is some time, we'll go back to it.

[376] We play most of the scene, most of my side of the scene.

[377] And then in the last 20 minutes, he said, are you ready?

[378] I think we can make one of those more.

[379] Yeah, let's do it.

[380] He put the camera, and I did it, and that's the one it's in the movie.

[381] Because my body was more relaxed.

[382] It was more at ease.

[383] When the first thing in the morning, to do that, for me, was a little bit of a shock.

[384] And it's funny because Daniel, the camera was on his shoulder, and he was like rooting for me because he was seeing me how I was coming to the mark, the end mark and I was making it happen and he was like, yes, yes, yes.

[385] And at times you're taking these little baby steps to make it time out, but it works for the character this kind of like almost a little boot scoot and boogie.

[386] You can see it sometimes, if you look really closely, Daniel Craig starts to high -five you.

[387] He puts up a little finish line.

[388] Yeah, and they had to cut around it and that got a little awkward.

[389] And not to just totally fan geek out, but in addition to that movie, one of my alt, I idolized the Coen Brothers.

[390] And then I think my favorite of all their movies, if I had to, if they said, okay, you get to pick one, I would say no country for old men.

[391] And as great as that cast was, I know you came on the show to promote it and had the nerve to show a clip of Anton Chaguer.

[392] And then minutes after showing that clip turned to me and told me that my hair looked stupid.

[393] And I was like, wait a minute, you're an assassin who's, who looks like Dorothy Hamill on skates, you know who?

[394] But it was such a, it was such an amazing moment for me because you still, I still had the more ridiculous hair than Anton Shagore.

[395] Exactly.

[396] But I, that is one of those movies that any time, if I, if I come upon it, it's 10 minutes in or if I come upon it and it's 40 minutes in.

[397] I am watching it.

[398] I am watching it and I've seen it so many times, but I always pray that I get to see the scene of you and the old man at the gas station because it is, to me, just a brilliant example, you know, in clearly there's violence in every movie we've mentioned, but such a clear example of one of the most tense scenes I've ever watched and the tension is built, and it's unbearable between you and this gas station attendant.

[399] Nobody shows a weapon.

[400] There is no violence in the scene.

[401] And when it's over, I'm just my heart's beating.

[402] And this man has just narrowly missed death.

[403] But he doesn't, he knows it, you know it, but no one ever said that.

[404] Absolutely.

[405] And I think to me, that shows that the beauty of there's so many movies every day when that come along and show you that violence implied is often scarier than violence it's actually happening.

[406] Absolutely.

[407] And I just, I revere that movie, that scene, your performance, and it's been so many years now, and you've done so much other great work, but I always come back to that and think that's a very unusual performance, a very unusual role and a very unusual, I mean, and your acting was just absolutely stunning.

[408] Thank you very much.

[409] And I would say is one of those things that many beautiful accidents happen together at a same time in the same moment, great writing, great directing, amazing actor who was playing the man in the gas station.

[410] He plays fear so well.

[411] I don't do anything.

[412] He just, he does the heavy lifting.

[413] He plays the unpredictable and the fear of being killed or not knowing what's going to happen so well that I just have to be cool and just do my job with a coin.

[414] And also, So, and you're eating, you have these little nuts.

[415] Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[416] And you're chewing, and every time, it's just a dialogue back and forth.

[417] And then he says, you know, he says, well, you know, my wife's parents had this.

[418] And he said, so you married into it.

[419] And he went, well, I don't know if I put it that way.

[420] How else would you put it?

[421] And it's just, it keeps ratcheting it up.

[422] And it's small talk.

[423] A small talk.

[424] But it also means so much more.

[425] And I. And we shot it.

[426] We shot it in 30 minutes.

[427] It was the end of the day, for me, it was the scene where I had to speak the most.

[428] The rest, I was just killing people.

[429] And I couldn't, and if my English is bad now, back in 2006, which is where the movie happened, it was an assistant.

[430] I mean, for me, it was impossible to say a word in English.

[431] And I have these five pages long scenes, so I work on it for months.

[432] And the day came, and he's like, okay.

[433] Let's do the scene 37.

[434] 37, but we have only 30 minutes, one hour.

[435] But we'll make it.

[436] Oh, my God.

[437] And it's not that I feel rush or anything, but it was like, it happened.

[438] But one take, two takes, done.

[439] Because everybody was really focused, doing their job.

[440] And there was nothing else to do than focus on what we had to do, do it exactly the way it was Britain.

[441] And just, and off we got.

[442] go.

[443] You know, I've been thinking about your career, how your mother was a very famous actress, activist, and you came from a long line in Spain of actors.

[444] And some people say, well, it's in, maybe it sounds like a cliche to say it's in your blood, but it must be in your blood, this desire to do it and do it correctly.

[445] Absolutely.

[446] And you were very interested in art as a child.

[447] You were entertained.

[448] I mean, were you not educated as, sort of to be an artist in some way?

[449] Well, I guess I was born into it.

[450] And I saw my mom and my uncle was a director.

[451] My mom was an actress.

[452] My grandparents were actors.

[453] So everybody was working in the thing.

[454] But I saw the, I saw more the downs than the ups.

[455] There was a lot of unemployment.

[456] There was a lot of struggle in trying to make some money.

[457] But I also saw that this.

[458] the decency, the honesty that the job will bring to them and what they will bring to their job and how much passionate they were about their craft.

[459] And the respect they have for not only the job, but also the people that is in the job and makes the job with them.

[460] So I like that very much.

[461] I felt that was a nice way to go.

[462] And once I decided to become an actor, I knew that I have to really be responsible for the surname, but them that belongs to many generations.

[463] And that's why I always try to do my best, as everybody.

[464] You never thought to yourself, I'll make movies internationally or I'll make movies in the United States.

[465] You thought I might, or I've read anyway, that you thought, this might be, I might just work in my whole life in Spain as an actor, and that would be fine.

[466] And not only that.

[467] I thought I may be, I may not be able to make a living out of this, but I don't know what to do else.

[468] I don't know what else to do.

[469] I mean, I'm not, I'm very clumsy.

[470] I don't know anything.

[471] You know what?

[472] Many of the actress I know and actresses are very like me. They only know how to perform.

[473] They don't know to do anything else.

[474] And that's fine.

[475] If you know at least to do one thing in your life and you are lucky enough to make a living out of that, you are blessed.

[476] And I guess I bet on that.

[477] And I bet on that.

[478] And I've always seen my steps like, as you were saying with Silva in the sky for like little steps.

[479] Like I never imagined or thought of myself going to anything big or achieving this or that.

[480] It's like, what if I make this job and it's good enough for them to call me again?

[481] And that's still what I think of when I make a movie or make something.

[482] It's like, okay, is that really bad?

[483] Is that bad enough for them not to call me or can I keep on going?

[484] And that's something that I guess I got from my family because everybody was waiting for the phone to ring.

[485] and I guess I have that fear still like it's not going to ring anymore but that's fine because that gives me the drive yeah the nerve from the drive yeah you had this drive did you ever think to yourself how do I make this jump or did they come to you were you recognized and people said okay we have to get Javier Bardem and that's how it happened no I it's funny it's one accident after the other I mean my two biggest movies that really open the market to me in Spain and out of Spain were accidental.

[486] One, the one, Hamon, Hamon, I was accompanied my sister to make an audition.

[487] And I was sitting down near her.

[488] And then they asked me, do you want to come in and do an audition as a night?

[489] I don't want to.

[490] Yeah, come in.

[491] Okay.

[492] And they gave me the job.

[493] And before night falls...

[494] Wasn't the part your sister won.

[495] Put on this wig.

[496] Same with the Bond villain.

[497] I had another wig.

[498] Yeah, exactly.

[499] your sister was this close to being Silva and then you had to go to the audition with her and the other one before Night Falls with Julian's novel I met him in a party in New York and he said, would you like to make a movie in English and he's like, no, I don't want it and speak English.

[500] I said, well, why don't you try, read this and I was going to play this little role and I said, okay, I'll try to, I'll play that as an experiment.

[501] But then the person who was going to play the lead fell apart from the Priet and he told me will you do it?

[502] No, I don't I don't want to do it yeah, you are doing it you have a month I said fuck, okay, I'll try and then I did it but I never expected that anybody would watch that movie and it happened that I was nominated for an Oscar for it which is weird because I thought nobody's going to watch it who cares I'm just going to see if I can play in English so and other movies that I thought this is a masterpiece They were like, bury it.

[503] That happens again and again and again in this business.

[504] It's never the thing you think.

[505] Absolutely.

[506] You think, okay, this is it and it's not.

[507] And sometimes I try to encourage people because there have been times in my life where the thing that I thought was going to really make me early on when I was younger didn't happen.

[508] And then I could see later on if that thing had happened, the thing I was meant to do wouldn't have happened.

[509] It all gets very mystical, but I believe in it.

[510] I believe there's something to it.

[511] You should try podcasting in Spanish.

[512] It's important that we're a graduate of Madrid's School of Artes and Officios, yes.

[513] But Eduardo, I take it back.

[514] Don't cut to Eduardo.

[515] Eduardo.

[516] Don't save it.

[517] I'll have it.

[518] I just about ran out.

[519] Just ask Eduardo.

[520] Eduardo.

[521] I just have to keep saying, Eduardo.

[522] to fill it out.

[523] Edward, I think the word is, Auehame.

[524] Help me, for favor.

[525] Let's say, Clare, clara, clare, but when you talk about not speaking English, you know, so many people in the United States were so Don't speak English.

[526] They actually really don't.

[527] They really don't.

[528] Some of them were presidents.

[529] Some of them were presidents.

[530] But it's funny.

[531] we almost forget, I mean, because we are so self -absorbed and we think, well, we all speak English and it must be nothing to speak English.

[532] And of course, it's a very, it's not an easy language.

[533] And then when this is your craft and you have to learn to adapt to this other language, I was told that you, there's a particular rock band that helped you learn English.

[534] ACDC.

[535] Yeah, all the curse, all the bad words, all the things I learned from ACDC.

[536] Fuck yeah.

[537] And I'm still learning.

[538] I'm still learning.

[539] So it's just certain ACDC songs, and you thought, this I can, which is, I can, I can plug into this and this will help me learn.

[540] There's a song called if you want blood, you've got it, high voltage, let there be rock.

[541] And those were the first songs.

[542] And you have to understand that I'm 54, I will have tapes, I will open the tape, we'll get the lyrics, and the lyrics were in Spanish.

[543] They weren't translated.

[544] So for me, it was like, what is he saying?

[545] Because they are not singing in Spanish.

[546] What are the...

[547] And I was trying to make sense of the word in Spanish and what I was hearing.

[548] And then I would go to a dictionary.

[549] And then, because of that, I will learn that word on top of that word below.

[550] So that's...

[551] That ACD is making me learn English because I want to learn the lyrics.

[552] You know, it's so funny because I've watched your very earliest performances and you come on stage, you're like, she's got a mask!

[553] You're way up there.

[554] You're shrieking.

[555] You're supposedly saying, I love you and very tenderly, or we must escape before the guards come.

[556] Javier, could you please just, the words are right, but could you take it down a little bit?

[557] Yeah.

[558] You're right.

[559] I love those guys.

[560] Yeah, it's so funny because, you know, just traveling around the world and doing travel shows, I've seen them all.

[561] People come up to me and they say, I've learned English by watching your shows and I think that's a terrible mistake.

[562] But it is funny how pop culture how pop culture is so important to people that it's often the bridge.

[563] It's not that they want to read this Dickens book.

[564] Right, right.

[565] You know, in the original, it's that they really want to watch that soap opera or they want to watch that TV show or that music video or sing that song.

[566] Absolutely, and that's the bridge.

[567] for them to jump into something else and deeper and deeper.

[568] And that's why it's so important to watch in Spain the original versions, the movies in the original version because we dub almost everything.

[569] And that's such a big mistake.

[570] And thanks to the platforms now, the youth, the new generation, speak way better English, more English than I used to speak when I was 20, because now they see the things on the original version.

[571] But in Spain, it's impossible to find one movie in original version, there are only one, two, three, four movie theaters in all Spain, maybe two in Madrid, two in Barcelona, and that's such a big mistake because, first of all, we are giving our language for those movies, and at the same time, we are not helping the audience to understand what they are watching since you can't dab Marlon Brando, You can't dab Robert De Niro, you have to see it in the original, you know, but you can't dab John Malkovich.

[572] You have to see, you have to hear those voices.

[573] It's part of the, it's part of their, of their richness, no?

[574] I find that now in this age of streaming, I can, there's so many great foreign TV shows, movies, I prefer, I like the subtitles because I like to hear the language.

[575] Absolutely.

[576] And, um, I think, uh, Spanish is so, a beautiful language, and I just love to hear it spoken.

[577] I love to hear it spoken, and the same is true with, I was just taping a travel special in Bangkok, and I turned on the TV, and there was one station for some reason that was broadcasting the news in French, and I was watching it, and I just was like watching it for a while, and I couldn't understand what was happening, but the language is so beautiful.

[578] But I find that just being exposed, these different languages, it's mute some of them are music and of course some languages are not music German is not music but yeah I wouldn't want to watch you know there's so many great films that I would want to see if they're in Spanish I want to I want to hear them in Spanish and of course I need the guide to help me understand what's happening but that's it's a I'm always struggling to because what I say that those things in in Spain or in Europe they go hey wait wait wait And it's true that the dubbers in Spain they are some of the best in the world and I'm not against that.

[579] They have to make a job and that's why I don't dub my own movies.

[580] It's like when I do a movie like Little Mermaid, it's in English.

[581] Okay, the version in Spanish is going to be dubbed by somebody else.

[582] I'm not dubbing it.

[583] So everybody wins.

[584] The audience wins.

[585] I win because I stay home and I don't do the hard job.

[586] And the dober wins because he has a job.

[587] Everybody wins.

[588] But what if you hear the dubbing and you really don't like the voice?

[589] I try to avoid to hear it because it's hard for me to see myself with another voice I'm telling you this for a reason they asked me to dub you in Spanish Oh no I knew it I knew it And apparently advanced reviews are just brutal It's just you going Eduardo Eduardo Why is King Triton No he's supposed to be talking to Ariel and giving her advice Yesi but Eduardo Eduardo Help me It's important that we're and all teatro.

[590] And all the kids like crying.

[591] Why is Harvey up our damn sound like that?

[592] He sounds terrible.

[593] Who have been the people that you've met when you achieved this level where you're going to these premieres, you're going these places, and there's an actor that you idolized, and they were.

[594] look at you and they're excited to see you when they come over.

[595] Do you have, is anyone who pops for you where you think, oh, my God.

[596] Well, I have Conan O 'Brien.

[597] Okay, okay.

[598] Okay, yeah, all right.

[599] Well, that was a big moment for you, yes.

[600] That was a big moment for me, and it's always a big moment.

[601] Okay, that's the peak, but what's near the peak?

[602] That's near the God's stuff.

[603] Now, talking about humans, I would say Al Pacino.

[604] Yes.

[605] Al Pacino.

[606] It's so funny.

[607] Al Pacino sent me a phone.

[608] He called me. after watching before Night Falls, but it was 2 o 'clock in the morning in Spain, and it was a time where there was a tape, a answering machine with tape, remember?

[609] So I was sleeping, I was like, who's calling?

[610] And then, hi, hi, Javier, it's Alpachino, yeah.

[611] And they were like, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, too, yeah, yeah.

[612] And I couldn't get the phone, like, Al Pacino is calling my home.

[613] I saw the movie.

[614] I liked that a lot.

[615] And congratulations.

[616] I was like, and then I went, And I play it again, and I play it again.

[617] And I have the tape, I have the tape.

[618] Yeah.

[619] So the first day I met him in Toronto Film Festival, I went to the toilet and I took a picture with a camera, no phones at the time, of my face in the mirror, because my face was like, I'm going to meet Al Pacino.

[620] And the good thing about it all is that he's such a wonderful man. Yes, yeah.

[621] So when you meet someone that you admire so much, you go, and he's even better that you would imagine.

[622] Yeah, he might.

[623] first encounter with him because i you know grew up on the godfather movies and then serpico and it just you know dog day afternoon and it's just i mean he's he is such uh above a star to me he's something else and so i was working on an award show uh here in in in the states and i think i was in l .a and i did my thing and went all right and then i go backstage and it's between it's in a commercial break so i go backstage and suddenly they're bringing all this scenery through.

[624] They say, clear the way, clear the way.

[625] So I get pushed into this little room, literally pushed into a little room to make way for these guys to come through.

[626] And I look around and it's just a room with me, a tiny room, like the size of a phone booth, and it's me and Al Pacino.

[627] And I'm stumstruck and he goes, Clear Room, Brian.

[628] And liquid shit just comes out of I urinated it, I defecate it, I That was awful.

[629] Like it came out of every poor.

[630] Poor, O 'Brien.

[631] And I went, Mr. Puccino, you have no idea.

[632] And I just tell him how much he makes me new.

[633] And then he puts it back on me and he's like, no, you, a tight rope every night.

[634] A new script.

[635] You got to wing it.

[636] Madness.

[637] You know, and he's just going on about how, oh, sure I've done the godfather.

[638] But I saw you with Al Roker.

[639] You know, but I thought, this is no, sir.

[640] No, sir.

[641] And I just blew my mind.

[642] And then every now and then I'll be in New York.

[643] restaurant, and it just happened recently where I hear, Conan!

[644] And he's there in the corner in a restaurant.

[645] And I get to have these little conversations with him.

[646] And what I found is in the last one, I'm so self -conscious about taking up his time that'll have a few back and forth with things with him the other.

[647] And then I'll say, like, well, you know, have a great meal.

[648] And it's so nice to see you when I run away.

[649] And then he apparently, because I ran to this woman who was at the table a couple of days later, coincidentally, at this other event.

[650] And she said, Al was like, why did he run away?

[651] I ran away because I'm scared.

[652] You're Al Pacino.

[653] I don't want to wish.

[654] He fled.

[655] He flew.

[656] Why did he go?

[657] But, yeah, that would be one, I would think.

[658] He's just a guy that, and I read somewhere, and this is something that I completely agree with, because I'm on record as saying this a long time ago, but you were star -struck and had a bit of a man crush on Brad Pitt.

[659] Oh, yeah.

[660] Who doesn't?

[661] Thank you.

[662] Of course.

[663] Because there are many times.

[664] where women have said to me about men, don't you think he's attractive?

[665] And I'm like, I just, I don't know.

[666] I don't, you know, it doesn't.

[667] But Brad Pitt, I think, damn.

[668] Yeah.

[669] I'd sleep with that guy.

[670] Of course.

[671] I don't even know how it works, but I would do as I was told.

[672] That's Brad Pitt.

[673] I'd have someone explain to me what my role is in this.

[674] Am I up top?

[675] Am I down below?

[676] Am I against the, I don't care.

[677] It doesn't matter.

[678] Somebody told me. I'll just do it.

[679] Do it, a series of drawings.

[680] A diagram.

[681] But, I mean, it really is, like, he's so charismatic and good looking.

[682] And I don't know.

[683] I agree with that.

[684] So, maybe the three of us, we have something to do you.

[685] Well, listen, you're the one that has the poll here.

[686] The call has to come from you, Javier.

[687] And then when she says, like, you know what?

[688] I really love you, Javier.

[689] And yes, you and I should get together.

[690] Thence when you have to say, there's one person I want to bring along.

[691] And Brad's probably like, oh, well, it's, you know, I don't know, I guess it's another huge, you know, it's Tom Cruise or it's Ben Affleck.

[692] And you're like, no, no. I full -tow.

[693] Oh, God.

[694] It's happening.

[695] It's happening.

[696] It's happening.

[697] He doesn't know it yet, but it's happening.

[698] Oh, boy.

[699] When does this come out?

[700] Does this come out soon?

[701] This comes out on Brad Pitt threesome day, which is this coming Monday, yeah.

[702] Guys, I'm here to promote.

[703] the movie up for kids, okay?

[704] Let's bring this up.

[705] Hey, when he said threesome, he meant bicycle built for three.

[706] That's right.

[707] A ride to the park.

[708] Let's talk about it.

[709] Because, it's funny, because I heard you were, when I first heard that you were doing The Little Mermaid and I heard King Triton, I was thinking, okay, I'm trying to, and this is live action, this is not animated.

[710] And then I saw a picture of you as King Triton, and it's, this man is born to play.

[711] King Triton, you have, I mean, I've always thought you have a regal face.

[712] You really do.

[713] You look.

[714] Thank you, sir.

[715] Doesn't he, doesn't he, you have the face that I could see.

[716] Of course, you have to say yes.

[717] If he has that question, you go, no. No, they often.

[718] That would be great.

[719] It is my inclination to gain say and neglect whatever he says, and I can say, yeah.

[720] He actually does disagree with him most of the time.

[721] But you have to see, you have to see photos of him.

[722] You should even call up on your show.

[723] I haven't yet.

[724] It's, it's, you, you are so regal.

[725] And I look at that photo and I think no one else could play King Triton in live action.

[726] I'm so happy that happened.

[727] And also, I texted Rob Marshall, which I wanted to work with since many years ago.

[728] And I said, if there is such a thing as a king Triton with an accent, would you consider me to play it?

[729] And he said, I swear to God, I'm in the grocery shop talking to John about you, and I was going to call you in five minutes.

[730] Oh, my God.

[731] That happened.

[732] I said, really?

[733] So I said that to my then seven -year -old girl, Luna, her name, I'm going to be in The Little Mermaid and she went, are you going to play Ariel?

[734] No. No. You started looking for your Anton Chiguerweig.

[735] I could die it, Red.

[736] Hedlardo!

[737] Now I want to see you as Ariel, though.

[738] Oh, my God.

[739] He's that good an actor.

[740] He can do anything.

[741] I know.

[742] But I said, no, I'm going to play the father.

[743] And she was crying, oh, I'm so happy.

[744] So I want to, Rob.

[745] You know, you can't imagine how happy you made me and my daughter by this offer.

[746] So it's, and they are watching the movie in Spain, in the premiere, and I can't wait for them to see it.

[747] They're going to be thrilled.

[748] My child, Leo, it's 12 now.

[749] When I start to, because we start to shoot this movie in January 2020, but then we have to stop because of the pandemic.

[750] He was 10 and, and he was excited now, like, he pretends, no, that's for, that's for Luna.

[751] I'll bring only 45 friends to the screening but that's not my kind of movie but three years ago he was like, yeah but no, he will love it that's why I do Dune as well for him.

[752] I do Dune for him, I do Mermit for her and I get the paycheck for both which is good too because they have to go to college.

[753] It helps.

[754] The Dune movies are so visually stunning I mean just I was mind blowing mind blowing and even though when I was first watching it the first Dune that it came out a few years ago I was I didn't understand the significance of every single moment but as a whole it was so beautiful and powerful the I've never it just looks different you know we're flooded with so many intergalactic movies and then there's so much artistry in the Dune films I think I think the need really has created something unique in the sense that he really created the universe.

[755] I mean, everybody that works in those movies are at the top of their game, the wardrobe, the lining, the everything, the designs, everything.

[756] So the first one was amazing, but I think the second one, I haven't seen it, but I was there.

[757] I think the second one is going to be really something out of proportion in the sense that the sets that I saw, the sets that they built.

[758] It was, they were, I don't know, huge.

[759] And they were filled with so much art inside and the lining and the wardrobe.

[760] Everything is really magical.

[761] And I saw the trailer, and I called Eni, like, man, what is this?

[762] I'm in it, and I can't believe I'm in it.

[763] Because it's one of those movies that you feel like an actor, oh, I wish I could be one of those.

[764] Well, I'm in it.

[765] And he's adorable.

[766] He's a great...

[767] Have you ever interviewed Danny Villeneuve?

[768] No, I have not.

[769] He's great.

[770] He's great.

[771] He's rumored for the next Bond film.

[772] He will do it for sure amazingly well.

[773] For this movie, how does it work?

[774] Are they using wires?

[775] Are you in a harness?

[776] How does it work when you're doing a live action little mermaid?

[777] I have no idea.

[778] It's all in the studio, and they put us in these ricks and call fork, whatever.

[779] I don't know.

[780] It's what they, is some stuff that the Olympic athletes use, you know, to train to make lips on the air.

[781] Oh, yeah, flips on the air.

[782] And what they do is they put you in a harness, and there's a long arm, and then you can go vertical, you can go horizontal, you can go like this because they move it.

[783] And it takes like six to ten people around the thing, the machine, to move it around.

[784] So it's a choreography.

[785] You have to talk to the director who will say, I want him here and then there, and then here goes up, here goes down.

[786] And you have to do your fishy moves, like with the shoulders to make believe that you are a fish.

[787] Please tell me they call them fishy moves.

[788] That's how I called it.

[789] I know.

[790] It was perfect.

[791] I just wish that that was actually in the dialect they used.

[792] And I don't know how they do it.

[793] I saw the movie and still don't believe how good it looks.

[794] You know what's interesting is the amount of trust you have to have.

[795] You know, we're having this moment here.

[796] You're there.

[797] I see you.

[798] We're a couple of inches apart and this is it.

[799] And this is a situation where you're getting all this makeup and then you're being put in the fishy move 4 ,000 machine.

[800] and spun around and it's total trust that someone's going to take care of this and then it's going to look awesome.

[801] Absolutely.

[802] And the only thing you have to do, you have to do is to try to learn the lines, say the lines, and forget about the whole noise around you because it's huge and try to be honest and try to go back to what it means to perform and be able to be relaxing within all of these things around you.

[803] Because I just said, It's a big leap of faith.

[804] And then with that, somebody else will do something else.

[805] And when I watch the movie again, yes, of course there's a lot of CGI, but it's so beautifully done, it's so realistically done.

[806] And at the same time, it has so much magic that I don't, I'm not pull off by it.

[807] I go like, wow, I believe that they are under the water.

[808] It's something else.

[809] It's something else.

[810] But, I mean, it's also, it's been true since the Wizard of Oz.

[811] You can have all that stuff, but you look at the quality of the acting in the Wizard of Oz.

[812] and that's what makes you, sucks you in every time.

[813] Absolutely.

[814] And that's hard.

[815] And also do it over and over and over again.

[816] So it's not, as Marlon Brando said, everybody's a performer because we all act in our lives in order to survive.

[817] But the professionals have to repeat it constantly.

[818] And that's true.

[819] And also do it on command.

[820] On command.

[821] And go, you know, action.

[822] Yes.

[823] And then you have to have to have that scene.

[824] You know, Anton Chaguer has to walk in to that gas station and have that scene.

[825] even though you're not ready, you don't feel like.

[826] But that's also just the training.

[827] Absolutely.

[828] The years and years of training.

[829] Yeah, the training and also there's a moment where you have to let go and I embrace the fear and say, okay, I can't control anything anymore.

[830] And it's all about getting lost in what you're doing and try to find meaning or sense in the journey while you're doing it, rather than going with everything marked and knowing where you're heading and what's the goal.

[831] No, you just go there.

[832] You work hard in order to understand the whole picture.

[833] Now you jump into the abyss and see if it makes sense.

[834] But again, it's movies.

[835] So somebody will make sense of it.

[836] If you didn't make the sense, somebody will make it happen.

[837] In theater, it's different, of course.

[838] Theater, it's like, okay, you are so exposed that if you get lost, then people will notice.

[839] Right.

[840] You actually see them get up and start to walk out.

[841] Unfortunately, I have the ability if it's 3 ,000 people in a theater and I will see the one person who gets up and walks out.

[842] And maybe it's just to use the bathroom, but it'll get in my head.

[843] Absolutely.

[844] It's like the one bad review of a movie that is going very well.

[845] Yeah, but that guy didn't like what I did.

[846] Do you read stuff about yourself?

[847] I used to read a lot.

[848] Now I'm 54.

[849] I don't care.

[850] more.

[851] I think it's really healthy to get to a point where you think, I'm only on this earth for a while.

[852] I'm going to make an honest effort.

[853] If someone likes it, great, if they don't.

[854] I can't, you know, the line I keep coming back to is I, Jeff Daniels, I think, was doing some show and I think critics, some of it, some liked it, but some had different opinions about it.

[855] And he said, you know, I can't help you guys.

[856] And I remember thinking that's so much how I feel at this point, which is, you know, at my age, after all these years, if you don't like what I'm doing, I respect that, but I can't help you.

[857] Absolutely.

[858] And that's very liberating.

[859] And also, it is, yeah, it's giving yourself a credit that you own and that you earn by the time that you work working so hard in order to be where you are.

[860] I mean, it's a, but again, when somebody says something negative, it hurts.

[861] Yes, of course it does.

[862] It hurts.

[863] And you know what?

[864] They sometimes think it doesn't hurt you because you're Javier Bardem or, you know, I'm a comedian who's been around for a long time and you think, well, that won't really get to them.

[865] No, it hurts as much as it did when you were a kid and someone made fun of you.

[866] It hurts exactly that much.

[867] Exactly, good point.

[868] If you're a real person and you're still here, it has to hurt just as much.

[869] And if you get to the point where nothing like that hurts you, your work can't be any good.

[870] That's a good point.

[871] You made me think about the bullying, yeah.

[872] The little kid being bullied by by other people's opinions.

[873] And they can be cruel.

[874] And of course, I had all those things where they were flowing on me, many bad adjectives that will hurt a lot in Spain, for whatever reason, either professionally or personally because I was defending that cause or the other other.

[875] And then it's when I stopped reading it because, like, this is hurting me a lot.

[876] I don't deserve this.

[877] And as you said, I'm trying to do my best, but I would never be able to be liked by it.

[878] everyone so give up that dream but it's a good point like yeah it's a good point I don't know what you said but it was a good point that's exactly Matt's job I don't know what you said boss but it was the best Javier you have a very busy schedule and I just want to tell you I'm going to wrap this up but it is beyond a thrill to see you again and you've always been so nice to me and I am such a crazy fan of your work and of you as a person.

[879] Thank you, Conan.

[880] And I hope someday when I'm rambling around, we've always thought, I always want to do these travel shows and I've always thought, and we've talked about it.

[881] Someday I'll come to Spain and we'll figure out a way, I don't care what I have to do, we'll work around your schedule where maybe I accidentally go through your kitchen and you're there and maybe you beat the shit out of me or something.

[882] I'll be there, my friend.

[883] I'll be there.

[884] If I get to hit you, I'll be it.

[885] there.

[886] Anyway, Javier Bardam, this was my favorite podcast in quite a while, and you're a great man. Thank you so much.

[887] Thank you so much.

[888] Thank you, everyone.

[889] Well, by now you've done some work in New York.

[890] You've done some sessions and some recordings.

[891] It's a podcast in New York, including one that Adam and Sona and I want to talk to you about.

[892] This hasn't happened at the time of this recording, but we all feel a little, what would the word be sad?

[893] Jealous.

[894] Jealous.

[895] Yeah.

[896] I don't know what you're talking about.

[897] but I honestly don't.

[898] The three of us have a massive crush on Matthew Reese, and we just want you to send them our love.

[899] Yeah, I don't know if I can do that.

[900] Oh, come on.

[901] Yeah.

[902] Why?

[903] Well, first of all, my time is very valuable.

[904] And Matthew Reese is, I mean, God, it's such a brilliant actor and raconteur.

[905] I just love that he's coming on the podcast, so to waste time saying, hey, before you get going, there are these people.

[906] You don't have to do it before he gets.

[907] It can be after.

[908] Yeah.

[909] I can totally be after.

[910] The first time he was on, it was over Zoom, and I think we all sort of fell head over heels.

[911] And none of us are going to be able to meet him in person this time.

[912] Yeah.

[913] Yeah.

[914] Here's how it's going to go.

[915] My plan is that if Matthew Reese ends up being on this podcast, a total of six times.

[916] Yeah.

[917] None of you will ever meet him.

[918] Come on.

[919] Do you purposely plan really cool?

[920] I mean, we've had a lot of really cool guests.

[921] But sometimes you really get someone you know we're going to love and then you do it somewhere else and we can't be there.

[922] You did this with Oliphant the second time you had him on in New York.

[923] Yeah, he was on New York because Oliphant and I, it's a special time when we're together.

[924] I was cool with the way that one worked out.

[925] Yeah, because you were there, you were there too.

[926] I got to spend a lot of time with him.

[927] Oh, congrats.

[928] Another massive segment with him.

[929] So great.

[930] Now, wait a minute.

[931] To be fair, when I interviewed Tommy Lasota, you guys were here.

[932] You know, so you got.

[933] him you weren't even here for that no i mean whenever there's uh an older baseball manager i always make sure that you guys get to meet i just think we're a team and sometimes you go rogue and i get it it's your podcast and stuff but still no no no don't be silly it's our podcast i just happened to be the star does that did that come out right no it's um i i don't know did it i guess i just want to meet matthew reese so do i And you're getting in the way.

[934] You're cock blocking all of us.

[935] You're pod blocking us.

[936] I'll tell you what I'll do.

[937] If you guys can write me a little message or something to him.

[938] We could record a little message for him right now.

[939] I prefer you write a message and then just trust that I'll give it to him.

[940] What do you mean?

[941] You won't, though.

[942] You'll lose it.

[943] What would you say to Matthew Reese that is so important?

[944] Dear Matthew.

[945] Oh, I didn't realize this was.

[946] Let's say, let's go around the table.

[947] This is a school essay, a fifth grade essay.

[948] Hi, my name is Sonam Obsessian.

[949] You don't know me, but I watched you in the Americans, and I love you.

[950] What's it like to be married to Carrie Russell?

[951] I love her curls.

[952] You're a lucky guy.

[953] She's a lucky girl.

[954] I hope we're friends one day.

[955] Love Sonam Obsessian.

[956] Okay.

[957] If that was your intention, is that's what you were going to say to him, I'm really happy that you're not going to New York.

[958] Okay, wait.

[959] You can't say shit like that to Matthew Rees.

[960] Yes, I can.

[961] Yes, I can.

[962] Compliment his wife, who I loved, who is a curly hair icon.

[963] Yeah, I can.

[964] They both are.

[965] I would start with Americans, but then I would really lean into his last appearance on the podcast and how he just blew us away with his humor, which you know, you don't always get to see because he's such a great actor and does a lot of serious roles.

[966] But he has such a good personality, so charming, was actually really, I remember him being so nice to us.

[967] I think when we were getting him like all set up with his.

[968] Zoom he was just we I think we all just kind of became best friends of them in that moment but haven't spoken to him since and so we'd love to I think this is all unprofessional and borderline creepy well you haven't even heard mine yet oh I'm sure this will write the boat off you go freaky hey Matt what's it like having the same name pretty cool on you're from Wales and I'm from Whittier 2W places I really loved Perry Mason I love you love you a lot too if you want to just hang out hit up my man Coenzy he's got my deets and miss you thank you bye who has control over what happens Eduardo you have these tapes now do you not I know where they are tapes okay digital recordings recordings Okay.

[969] I don't know.

[970] How do you, what do you refer to them as now?

[971] Recording.

[972] You have these wax cylinders.

[973] Yes.

[974] Make sure that they're in my possession.

[975] You got.

[976] What are you going to do with them?

[977] I'm going to hand deliver them to Matthew Reese.

[978] That's what I'm going to do.

[979] And you're going to trust that I did it.

[980] He could just email it to live his rep. He could just email him to his rep right now.

[981] No, no, no. We can do it right after this podcast.

[982] Nope, that's not the way I like to do it.

[983] I like to give the personal touch.

[984] I'm going to write a little handwritten note with it.

[985] And then you guys are just going to trust that I, gave these to Matthew Rees.

[986] Do you think you purposely keep us away because you're embarrassed of us a little bit?

[987] I'm going to say that's 80 % true.

[988] What's the other 20 %?

[989] That I get more of focus on me. So it's embarrassment that you guys will screw it up.

[990] And then there's 20 % of it is me just wanting more time with Matthew Reese.

[991] One idea I had was just hear me out.

[992] We could talk to Paula about rescheduling.

[993] Maybe for when we can all be there with Matthew Reese.

[994] Oh, let me just check my schedule and see if that works.

[995] Those are not, that's not your schedule.

[996] No, no, no, no. I'm entering the priesthood shortly after we should.

[997] So, oh, and then I'm in the circus.

[998] Yeah, it doesn't work out.

[999] Oh, and then I'm working for that Zeppelin company.

[1000] For those reasons, just relax.

[1001] Why don't you do this?

[1002] Just trust that I form a strong enough connection with Matthew Reese that he wants to come back.

[1003] And on the third go -round, you guys will get to be behind glass when I interview him.

[1004] Oh, you could fly us out, too, just for that day.

[1005] No, no. This podcast is hemorrhaging money because of a certain Matt Goreley's spending habits that he charges.

[1006] When he buys stuff now, kooky stuff at the Rose Bowl swap meet, he charges it to the podcast.

[1007] That's true.

[1008] Yeah.

[1009] Yeah.

[1010] He bought a 1938 Zamboni.

[1011] Yeah.

[1012] Yeah, it's a hipster thing.

[1013] I now have 36 through 48 all year Zambonies.

[1014] True story.

[1015] My wife is her step grandma was a Zamboni.

[1016] She was heir to the Zamboni fortune.

[1017] Is that true?

[1018] That's true.

[1019] Wait a minute.

[1020] Is that really true?

[1021] That's true.

[1022] I just threw out Zamboni from the random part of my brain.

[1023] Yeah.

[1024] What?

[1025] That's a real, that's a family name?

[1026] It's her step grandma's maiden name.

[1027] And she was a wealthy heiress of the Zamboni family.

[1028] I don't know what else to say.

[1029] Does that, Matthew, You listen?

[1030] Is that pretty cool?

[1031] Well, more proof that you should get a lot of talking time with Matthew Rees.

[1032] I loved you.

[1033] Love Perry Mason.

[1034] Yeah, that's great.

[1035] No, guys, just let me handle the heavy hitters, all right?

[1036] You guys are all fun.

[1037] When we book someone on the podcast who was third lead in a movie that didn't really go, I'm very comfortable with you being here.

[1038] But when it's these heavy hitters, I think I need to handle it myself.

[1039] You understand?

[1040] I feel like they notice our absence, though.

[1041] Yeah.

[1042] I feel like he, I feel like.

[1043] The way you notice the absence of pain.

[1044] Yes.

[1045] I feel like he's going to be like, hey, we're Matt and Sona and Adam.

[1046] And then I'm going to be like, you know, and then you have to like have that awkward conversation.

[1047] What if he listens to his podcast?

[1048] He's a fan.

[1049] What if he listens to this podcast?

[1050] Could be.

[1051] A lot of guests listen to the podcast.

[1052] Yeah.

[1053] Please.

[1054] Some.

[1055] Some do.

[1056] Yes, some do.

[1057] Tommy Lusota.

[1058] This is a very, very successful podcast.

[1059] But no, Matthew Rees, I assure you, he's a classically trained Welsh actor.

[1060] He's a man, it's a good -looking guy.

[1061] Charming.

[1062] He is.

[1063] I can't wait to see him.

[1064] Are you going to?

[1065] What if you guys become friends?

[1066] Yes, what's wrong with that?

[1067] A lot, a lot.

[1068] If anyone out of the four of us is going to be friends with Matthew Reese, I don't think it should be you.

[1069] Yeah.

[1070] You don't appreciate it like we do.

[1071] I just don't think that, I don't know.

[1072] I don't think you can hang with him and Kerry.

[1073] I keep bringing up Carrie because...

[1074] What are you going to do with Matthew Reeves?

[1075] You're going to take him to the Altadina 7 -Eleven and buy him a slim gym?

[1076] I'm sorry.

[1077] And don't even get me started on you.

[1078] What?

[1079] I'm sorry.

[1080] I happen to know he restores old sailboats.

[1081] So you think that's not up my alley, that kind of thing?

[1082] He and I will get along, will be fast friends.

[1083] You work on small toy sailboats.

[1084] He works on real sailboats that a man can get into it.

[1085] Anything you do.

[1086] Oh, that is not true.

[1087] I am quite the seamen.

[1088] Yeah.

[1089] I have been at sea many a time.

[1090] I have sailed off the coast of Boston, Rhode Island, Cape Cod.

[1091] I've sailed off the rough seas of Block Island.

[1092] My face is weathered by the salty spray.

[1093] And old Neptune's ire!

[1094] Anyway, none of you were ever meeting Matthew Reese.

[1095] That's the end of this segment.

[1096] We'll see.

[1097] Never going to happen.

[1098] Conan O 'Brien needs a friend With Conan O 'Brien, Sonam of Sessian, and Matt Gourley.

[1099] Produced by me, Matt Gourley.

[1100] Executive produced by Adam Sacks, Nick Liao, and Jeff Ross at Team Coco, and Colin Anderson and Cody Fisher at Earwolf.

[1101] Theme song by The White Stripes.

[1102] Incidental music by Jimmy Vivino.

[1103] Take it away, Jimmy.

[1104] Our supervising producer is Aaron Blair, and our associate talent producer is Jennifer Samples.

[1105] Engineering by Eduardo Perez.

[1106] Additional production support by Mars Melon.

[1107] talent booking by Paula Davis, Gina Batista, and Britt Kahn.

[1108] You can rate and review this show on Apple Podcasts, and you might find your review read on a future episode.

[1109] Got a question for Conan?

[1110] Call the Team Coco hotline at 323 -451 -2821 and leave a message.

[1111] It too could be featured on a future episode.

[1112] And if you haven't already, please subscribe to Conan O 'Brien needs a friend on Apple Podcasts, Stitcher, or wherever fine podcasts are downloaded.