You’re the Only One Who Can Change Your Financial Future

[0] The Ramsey Network.

[1] This is The Ramsey Show.

[2] I'm John Deloney, joined by George Camel, and we are taking your calls on money and life, and work, and relationships, mental health, whatever you got going on in your life.

[3] We're here to help.

[4] AAA 825 -5 -2 -2 -25.

[5] The show is live.

[6] Triple -8 -25 -5 -2 -25.

[7] Give us a buzz.

[8] Let's go out to Washington, D .C. and talk to Lucy in the sky with diamonds.

[9] Hey, Lucy, what's up?

[10] Hi, thank you so much for taking my call.

[11] Of course, what's going on?

[12] Can you get you?

[13] Okay?

[14] I can hear you great.

[15] Perfect.

[16] Hey, so me and my husband, we've been going through the baby steps now for about, gosh, six months.

[17] We're on baby step number three.

[18] We're doing a really cool job.

[19] We're so excited.

[20] We're about halfway through our emergency savings and, you know, building it up.

[21] And just today, we've learned one of our vehicles, which is a 2011 Lexus.

[22] We've had it for six or seven years.

[23] It's been great.

[24] We bought it used.

[25] It's got a very expensive repair all of a sudden.

[26] And we are like, gosh, should we pay the $4 ,300 bill to fix it?

[27] Or is it worth it at this point to try to sell it and then go buy another, you know, cheap car?

[28] We're just like not sure where it's the break point.

[29] You know, when should you, you know, keep repairing a used car versus switch to another used car.

[30] Well, as a general rule, if the repair costs are more than the value of the car, you should probably replace the car.

[31] Now, that doesn't always ring true because if the repairs 1 ,000, the car's worth 1 ,000, you might want to just do the 1 ,000 repairs because it's going to be hard to find a car that you can get for $2 ,000.

[32] So what is this car worth right now?

[33] Well, like I said, it's a 2011 Lexus, 250 hybrid.

[34] So it's a hybrid.

[35] And I think the last time we checked it forth about $8 ,000 or $9 ,000.

[36] And that's if the repair was done.

[37] Well, yeah, if we try to sell it as is, right before this happened, yeah, we could sell right, you know, for $8 ,000 to $9 ,000 now that all these lights are on.

[38] What's what they say is wrong with it?

[39] What's wrong with it?

[40] Well, here's the interesting part.

[41] About one week ago, we replaced the brakes and the brake pads and rotors.

[42] We spent $1 ,000 just one week ago.

[43] at the dealer to fix that.

[44] And less than a week later, all these lights are coming on.

[45] And so my husband said that the dealer said, hey, it's the brake rotor circuitry or something.

[46] It's the rolling rotor.

[47] Yeah.

[48] It's the blinker fluid.

[49] That'll get you.

[50] Have you gotten a second opinion on this?

[51] Not yet.

[52] Go get a second opinion from an unbiased non -dealer shop.

[53] And don't tell them anything about.

[54] about this first one.

[55] Just rolling and say, hey, we're getting some lights.

[56] What's this going to cost to repair?

[57] Okay.

[58] And if you get one or two more opinions and it's still all around $4 ,000, I would probably replace this.

[59] You guys have the money to do it, right?

[60] Well, yeah, I don't have a full three, we're trying to get up to three to six months.

[61] Right now we're at about one and a half.

[62] But do you, do you have the money?

[63] Do you have $4 ,000?

[64] Yes, I do.

[65] Okay.

[66] I would probably just make the repair versus going out and buying a new car.

[67] Right.

[68] That's what I would do.

[69] No question about it.

[70] And the car has 150 ,000 miles on it.

[71] It's a Lexus.

[72] It is not even halfway home, honey.

[73] It's just getting going.

[74] You don't, here's the deal.

[75] You don't like it.

[76] You don't like it?

[77] Oh, you do like it?

[78] Oh, we love the car.

[79] My husband is the one.

[80] He's the one that thinks, well, we should sell the car.

[81] We should have done this a year or two ago and switched it.

[82] you know, moved up, you know, he likes to use cars, but just not when they get really high mileage, like what y 'all, you know, high mileage is such a relative word, you know, depending on the make of the car and the type, and that Lexus can go 300 ,000 miles if you take care of it.

[83] What about the hybrid, then the battery?

[84] That's the other thing he's concerned about.

[85] He's like, hey, we're going to drop $4 ,000 right now, and then in another year we're going to replace a hybrid battery.

[86] I don't know how he has a ball that can tell you the future, but that's amazing.

[87] Let me get off the news apps.

[88] He has to stop watching the news apps.

[89] Both of my cars are hybrid.

[90] Dude, it's a good car.

[91] It's a great car.

[92] If you were here, I would buy it from you at a comically discounted rate and go get it fixed and have an awesome car.

[93] It's a great vehicle.

[94] I want to tell you, we bought it on Craigslist from Private Party, and it was exactly what y 'all said.

[95] We bought it six or seven years ago, and we've had no issues with it until now.

[96] So we're literally just like.

[97] Get a few opinions, take the most reputable mechanic who's giving you the best deal, get it done.

[98] And then later on, if you just hate it, you can go sell it for $9 ,000 and use some more cash and upgrade.

[99] And I, George, I think there's clearly something sketchy here.

[100] Like, you don't have a, it doesn't work perfectly.

[101] And then somebody repairs something and then everything lights up like a Christmas tree on the dashboard.

[102] Something's going on.

[103] So take it to somebody else and have them look at it, right?

[104] I always get, you know, two or three estimates.

[105] I have trust issues, I don't have that kind of time.

[106] Yeah.

[107] Yeah.

[108] But I'll get one.

[109] John just has a good dude in his life.

[110] He'll just be honest with him.

[111] That is true.

[112] That's, yeah, that's really important.

[113] Let's run out to Maggie in Charleston.

[114] Hey, Maggie, what's up?

[115] Hey, guys, thank you so much for taking my call.

[116] Of course.

[117] Hey, we're up against a clock.

[118] So swan dive into it.

[119] What's going on?

[120] Yep.

[121] So my company offers a SEP IRA, and they pay an additional 15 % on top of my paycheck each month.

[122] want, can I count baby step number four is complete or should I be putting in additional money?

[123] You're saying they put in 15 % of their own money?

[124] It's not your income?

[125] Correct.

[126] Okay, so we would consider this similar to a match where we need you to put in 15 % of your income.

[127] And there's a few reasons for that.

[128] It's the same reason why we don't count the match.

[129] When you put in 15 % of your income, you start to build this amazing savings and investing muscle.

[130] And regardless of where you go and what job is next and if you stay and if they change the rules and what they decide to do, you know how to live on 85 % of your income.

[131] And so that's the key here.

[132] If you have too much money in retirement, please call us back and yell at us.

[133] I'll be happy to take the blame for that.

[134] I'll give you my personal address and you can just, I'll take a regular chat.

[135] You can just send it.

[136] So should I do the 10 additional 10 % into a SEP since I can only do 25 % max?

[137] or should I do 15 % into a different type of IRA?

[138] Yeah, I would do the max that you can through that because it's a tax -advantaged account and then you could open up your own IRA outside of your retirement account through your employer and continue there.

[139] Okay, all right, that makes sense.

[140] To finish out your 15%.

[141] Absolutely.

[142] Hey, Maggie, are you like me?

[143] Have you already done the math on the things you'll buy since you didn't have the 15 %?

[144] A little bit.

[145] Yeah.

[146] Okay, so here's just going to be frustrating.

[147] You're going to get off this call and feel like you just lost something and I want you to feel that and then know that that's not true.

[148] Okay.

[149] You know what I mean?

[150] Like if my boss says, hey, today you're getting a raise, it's going to be amazing.

[151] Well, in my head, it's going to be $100 ,000.

[152] And if he comes in at $10 ,000, that's an amazing raise, but I feel like he took $90 ,000 from me. Right.

[153] Right?

[154] So you've already spent that extra 15%, and you're already holding that new car or guitar, whatever it is you're going to buy.

[155] And so feel that.

[156] It's totally real, but it's not true.

[157] And go use our investment calculator, Maggie, and go see what 30 % going into that SEP IRA will do for you.

[158] You sound young.

[159] You've got a lot of life ahead.

[160] I hope you call back in the Baby Steps Millionaire Theme Hour and tell us all about your story.

[161] It's going to be amazing.

[162] Hey, Maggie, thank you for the call.

[163] AAA 825 -225.

[164] This is the Ramsey Show.

[165] We'll be right back.

[166] I've been doing this show for over 30 years, and some of the saddest calls I have taken are from situations that are completely preventable.

[167] Yeah, and what's so hard is I feel like one of those, especially the ones that I'm like, oh, it's terrible.

[168] People that call in and their spouse has passed away suddenly, and they don't have life insurance.

[169] When you have to think through, how am I going to pay my bills?

[170] I'm going to eat next week.

[171] Yeah, in the middle of all that grief.

[172] Like, it's just, it is.

[173] It's terrible.

[174] So life insurance is the one thing, especially as a mom with three, little kids that I'm like so big on for people to get because it's inexpensive.

[175] Xander is the place that Winston and I actually get all of our life insurance.

[176] And it doesn't cost much because Xander shops among a gazillion different companies.

[177] It doesn't cost much.

[178] You just have to admit that someday you're not going to be here.

[179] You've got to say it out loud and you got to say, I'm going to say, I love you to my family by taking care of them and taking the time to put this stuff in place.

[180] The cost of stinking pizza.

[181] To get a free quote, call 800, 356, 4282.

[182] That's 800, 356, 4282, or go to Zander.

[183] This is the Ramsey show, and it's a Memorial Day $10 flash sale.

[184] Not flash like some of our colleagues do around the office, but flash sale.

[185] I shouldn't have done that, James.

[186] Sorry.

[187] I can always see when James, the producer, just puts his head down and's like, what am I doing?

[188] It's fine.

[189] HR just called you to the office, John.

[190] I know.

[191] This weekend only get our lowest prices of the year on our bestselling products that have helped millions of people.

[192] You can get bestsellers like Baby Steps, Millionaires, own your past, your future.

[193] Know yourself, know your money, from paycheck to purpose, $10, $10 .00, $10 sale at Ramsey Solutions .com slash store.

[194] This sale ends Monday, May 27th at 1159 p .m. Let's go out to Holy Toledo, Ohio, and talk to Grace.

[195] Hey, Grace, what's up?

[196] Hey, Dr. John.

[197] How are you?

[198] Parting, dude.

[199] What are you up to?

[200] I'm just sitting here.

[201] I, I, okay, so I called in, I have a special needs sibling, and our parents sort of set up, like, kind of like their future a little bit, like my sibling's future, and, but they haven't really done anything as far as, like, getting them the help that they need or securing, like, a, really, like, a future for them.

[202] So what have they done?

[203] I'm confused.

[204] They, um, so one of our parents, like, our father has like no life insurance.

[205] He doesn't have he, I think he has like 50 ,000 in retirement.

[206] He keeps talking about buying a house.

[207] He's in his 70s, like five hours away.

[208] And it's, it's.

[209] So he's broke and has no way to help and help set up his child.

[210] Right.

[211] Well, he's actually not, like he has a really good pension.

[212] Um, And then he gets like Medicare, Medicaid, the senior one.

[213] But he just is totally disinterested in maybe helping us find a home or...

[214] When you say us, is this you and your sibling?

[215] And my sibling, correct.

[216] So you are now the full -time caretaker?

[217] Not yet, but I'm just kind of like preparing, I guess.

[218] You kind of know this is coming because no one else cares as much as you do.

[219] I think so Maybe that's it Alright Grace So I recently Ended up with a whole bunch of stuff Going on at the same time Like a bunch of house stuff A bunch of kids stuff Like setting up stuff with my wife Like attorney stuff Work stuff like it all was just chaotic And it wasn't literally I was walking through an airport And I said to myself why don't you take your own advice John and I was like that sounds like a good idea and usually it's not a good idea but this time it was and here's what I did I just sat down and I pulled out a yellow pad that I had in my backpack and I started writing down what I know to be true and the things I don't know about and then the things I know to be untrue three different columns because I can hear it in you you have a lot of frustration a lot of anger a lot of I think so and a lot of suppositions and now you're starting to worry about imaginary futures that haven't even happened yet aren't confirmed yet you just don't know is that fair oh absolutely okay so the the path through this chaos that you happen to be in right now you're trying to solve problems that may or may not even be problems yet and that helps you avoid the actual problems so for instance you're already doing math problems in your head about um how you are going to pay and support your special needs brother why because you're You're a freaking amazing sister.

[220] And you're avoiding the conversation sitting down with your dad saying, what is the status of your financial situation, period.

[221] Are you not going to help your son or are you?

[222] You see what I'm saying?

[223] No, but we have tried to like, we've like literally corner him.

[224] Like we've had to corner him.

[225] Okay.

[226] Like he did a DNR, but only because we had a family friend who we literally like sat our dad in a corner.

[227] and we were like, you need to get this done.

[228] Like, I don't know what to do in the event something happened.

[229] And he refuses to outright talk about it.

[230] Okay, so listen.

[231] Every minute you bang your head against that wall, you're choosing misery at this point.

[232] Listen, it's going to be hard to hear.

[233] Your dad cashed out.

[234] He quit.

[235] He will not do the thing that he is supposed to do, which is just to honor and take care of his kids and be honest about his upcoming passing away as he gets older and the realities of caring for a special needs kid he has cashed out he quit so all the banging your head and hand wringing is you choosing to be miserable instead of okay what are we going to do now and i know that sucks i hate that for you okay where's your mom in this picture um sort of also checked out i mean she um it's kind of a complicated situation so she has like sort of a, like, a trust set up for my sibling, and then a rental, like a rental property, but she's always like, oh, I think I'm going to sell it.

[236] I'm going to have to sell it if this and this happens, and you can't rely on it, which I never did.

[237] But her life insurance, she has to, the way that she explained it, she has to pass away before the age of 82 in order for it to cash out.

[238] So she lives beyond 82, like, Like, she gets, like, nothing.

[239] How old is she now?

[240] She is in her 60s.

[241] Okay.

[242] So what is she doing now, between now and then, to actually build her own nest egg to where she's self -insured?

[243] I honestly, like, she doesn't like to talk about it either.

[244] So it's, I just, like I, like you said, I feel like I'm just banging my head against the wall, trying to get answers out of anybody.

[245] You are?

[246] Just trying to get.

[247] Stop.

[248] Yeah.

[249] Does your brother have, um, Social Security?

[250] No. How come?

[251] Have you all filed for that yet?

[252] That was never set up either.

[253] Okay.

[254] Then I want you to take responsibility for that.

[255] Do you have custody of him?

[256] No. Okay.

[257] I want you to pursue that with your parents.

[258] Let your parents know I'm going to pursue custody with my sibling.

[259] Well, let me ask you this.

[260] Is he on a, is he need custody?

[261] No. No, it's more like a – I don't want to get, like, too specific, but it's like a learning disorder.

[262] Okay.

[263] So does he have a job?

[264] Can he live by himself?

[265] No. No. Okay.

[266] But you think he's eligible for SSI at this point?

[267] Correct.

[268] Okay.

[269] Then go sit down with – make a phone call or two phone calls and sit down whether it's an attorney or whether it's a Social Security office.

[270] attorney's going to be a faster route but it's going to cost money and they're going to explain things better because they're not a government agency and you can walk through and get the path what's my path forward here and we can go down that road and if you do this independent and there's no chance that mom and dad can come up and take some of that money which happens with some regularity and then you have to be honest not by your hand but in your lap you have to be honest about the situation you have found yourself and it's heartbreaking I would huggy if you were sitting here and you said it was okay.

[271] Thanks.

[272] Because you're a sister who sees her special needs brother and you're going to be taken care of her and both of your parents have cashed out.

[273] And it sounds like they even have the means financially and they are choosing to walk away.

[274] And so you have to live in that picture.

[275] So what's that going to mean for how you earn and how you save and how your dream of a huge house might be a dream of an apartment and all those things are going to change and you're going to have to live in that reality.

[276] Yeah, I think I'm trying to still come to grips with that.

[277] I know.

[278] It's heartbreaking.

[279] How are you doing financially?

[280] I think this is just so stressful that I am trying to find an outlet in other ways, just like drawing and doing a couple other things.

[281] But I've managed to save roughly like $4 ,000 in my money market account.

[282] Amazing.

[283] Do you have any debt?

[284] Yeah, I have a student loan and I have a year left on my car, roughly like $28 ,000.

[285] What's your income?

[286] $45.

[287] I would sell that car.

[288] Yeah, so Grace, here's what we're going to do.

[289] You need freedom and space and margin right now.

[290] I'm going to hook you up with a few things.

[291] We're going to send you Financial Peace University, and I want you to go through those classes, all nine classes.

[292] I'm also going to set you up with a free.

[293] financial coaching session with one of our financial coaches and I'm going to pay for it.

[294] And I'm going to send you building a non -anxious life.

[295] And I want you to read that book and begin to craft your world around it.

[296] You need, like George said, you need margin and you need peace.

[297] You got to stop begging your head against the wall.

[298] We'll be right back.

[299] Hey, when you go against what society thinks is, quote, normal, like avoiding debt, for example, it might seem weird at first and that is totally okay.

[300] We want you to be weird.

[301] if that means doing things intentionally, including how you spend your health care dollars.

[302] And one way to be intentional is with Christian health care ministries.

[303] CHM isn't health insurance.

[304] They're a health cost -sharing ministry that's helped hundreds of thousands of families, like yours, take care of health care costs without sacrificing their freedom.

[305] Find out more and join at chmistries .org slash budget.

[306] that's c h ministries .org slash budget what up what up we are back i'm john deloney joined by george camel and we're taking your calls on your money and your work and your life and your relationships triple eight two five five two two five uh gk so here's what sells in america end of times here's what sells in america blood guts it's all coming down Right.

[307] To be fair, that's the more exciting version than everything's fine, nothing to see here.

[308] Correct.

[309] What movie would you rather watch?

[310] That's true.

[311] That's it.

[312] That's right.

[313] And since our news is now movies, it's entertainment.

[314] It's not actual information anymore.

[315] Everybody's walking around.

[316] Everybody I talk to you, but a meet is walking around just waiting for the earth to swallow them up if the flat earth doesn't fold and smush them in the process, right?

[317] Or Bigfoot doesn't come out.

[318] So we have this James, the producer during the break, brought us this quiz.

[319] And this is a quiz about how many Americans are wrong about key economic trends.

[320] All right.

[321] So if you're listening to this, we're going to let everyone take the quiz.

[322] Take the quiz.

[323] Here we go.

[324] Question number one, is the U .S. in a recession, yes or no?

[325] And this is not a feeling.

[326] This is actually, is it based on the definition of a recession.

[327] Number two, how has the, S &P 500 index, the stock market, performed in 2024.

[328] Stocks are up, the market is down, the market is flat.

[329] It's unchanged.

[330] Number three, has the current unemployment rate compare with prior periods.

[331] The unemployment rate is now near a 50 -year low.

[332] The unemployment rate is near a 50 -year high.

[333] The unemployment rate still hasn't recovered from the pandemic.

[334] And the last question is inflation increasing or decrease?

[335] recent.

[336] Here's the answer to these questions.

[337] Number one, George, you give us the answers.

[338] Is the U .S. in a recession?

[339] The correct answer is no. But George, I feel like it is.

[340] Well, about 56 % of those polled said that we are currently experiencing a recession.

[341] So it was based on just, I guess, their feelings about what a recession is?

[342] As the GDP has been growing, says the article, fueled partly by strong consumer spending at rates that have exceeded economist expectations, the U .S. economy is not in a recession.

[343] That's math.

[344] How has this S &P 500 index performed in 2024?

[345] Stocks are up.

[346] The stock market is just coming down.

[347] Or it's unchanged.

[348] Correct answer is A, it is up for the year.

[349] It has climbed 11%.

[350] And yet about half of people polled said the stock market is down.

[351] Again, based on, I guess, feelings and headlines and seeing red triangles pointing down.

[352] Right.

[353] In their Facebook account, it has the one guy in the trunk of his car like, I know what's really going on out there, America.

[354] Or it's the guy been like, you need to buy gold, sell all your stocks.

[355] Sell it now.

[356] It's all going down.

[357] Yeah.

[358] Nope.

[359] Stock market is up.

[360] In fact, the S &P 500, which represents the overall stock market, has hit multiple record highs already in 2024.

[361] Hmm.

[362] You wash your mouth that was soaked George Campbell.

[363] That's not true.

[364] It's all coming down.

[365] All right.

[366] Number three, how does the current unemployment rate compare with prior periods?

[367] Correct answer.

[368] It's at a near 50 -year low, which, if you're confused, that's a good thing.

[369] The jobless rate stood at 3 .9 % in April, which was a near -50 -year low.

[370] And yet, about half of those polled said it's near 50 -year high.

[371] Who are they polling?

[372] The other half of whatever aisle.

[373] Right, exactly.

[374] Yes, news watchers.

[375] Last question is inflation increasing or decreasing.

[376] Very truthful.

[377] Inflation's been gnarly the last few years.

[378] It's been tough.

[379] It's been tough all across the board here, right?

[380] Is inflation rising, falling, or staying static?

[381] Correct answer is B. It is falling.

[382] And in fact, it's been declining since reaching a peak of 9 .1 in June of 22.

[383] Most recent CPI reading inflation was at 3 .4%.

[384] So about 7 and 10 responded, believe 70 % of people think inflation is still rising.

[385] So here's the confusing part.

[386] The rate at which prices are changing is falling.

[387] So that doesn't necessarily mean that prices are going to be coming down It just means they're not moving higher At the rate they were Ah, okay, so things are still getting more expensive It's a good delineation Things are still getting more expensive But instead of going to Every time you go to the supermarket Like every week, milk's going up a quarter every time, now it's only going up a dime.

[388] Yes, that's the concept there.

[389] So nothing to freak out about.

[390] Well, here's the one, let me ask one freak out question.

[391] The question about consumer spending Where's that money coming from?

[392] Are we borrowing that?

[393] So are we kind of duct taping over a recession?

[394] That's my big economic theory.

[395] Everyone's like, we need to stop and flip.

[396] The feds keeps messing this up.

[397] I'm like, you all keep messing this up America.

[398] The fed's like, hey, can we get everyone to stop spending?

[399] Let's increase the interest rates.

[400] And people go, nah, I'll buy a $60 ,000 truck at 13 % APR.

[401] It's fine.

[402] So we've just gotten so used to spending with other people's money that we just go, We'll worry about this is a problem for future, John.

[403] This is a problem for future, George.

[404] So we keep spending a record rates, even though credit card debt is at an all -time high, $1 .1 plus trillion dollars with 22 % APR average.

[405] It hurts my brain that we have not slowed down because we're so addicted to spending and borrowing other people's money.

[406] And it's as though the Fed has been trying to crash that.

[407] Stop spending and we're like, nope.

[408] And they're like, all right, we're going to raise the rates.

[409] And we're like, eh, hold my beer.

[410] I'll spend more.

[411] And they're like, we're going to raise them even higher.

[412] Nah, we'll still keep going.

[413] And America's like, I'll take the challenge.

[414] See how much debt we can get into, baby.

[415] I accept.

[416] I accept Fed. Oh, my goodness.

[417] And it looks like the Fed. It's now like, whatever, dude.

[418] Well, thanks for some good news there, John.

[419] It's not as bad as it suits.

[420] Well, the good news, well, the bad news is people are relying on feelings instead of just facts about what's going on and they're letting the news direct their emotions and their spending versus looking at facts going, you know what, how's my house doing?

[421] How's my, that's the question.

[422] If I could tell anybody one thing, ask how is your house doing?

[423] How's your marriage doing?

[424] How's your kids doing?

[425] How are your finances doing?

[426] If everybody would go home and look in the mirror and ask that question and begin to solve that problem?

[427] It's amazing how many people think the world's political problems are theirs to solve.

[428] And yet the stuff going on in their house is like, well, I can't fix my marriage, John.

[429] Can't get out of debt.

[430] I can't clean my house until my neighbor cleans up their yard.

[431] But let me tell you my geopolitical opinions on.

[432] Facebook.

[433] Because I think this is going to be the take that solves all of this.

[434] Jeez.

[435] All right.

[436] Let's go out to Dallas, Texas, and talk to the mighty Paul.

[437] Hey, Paul.

[438] What's up, man?

[439] Hey, how's it going?

[440] We're figuring out life, dude.

[441] What's up?

[442] I feel that.

[443] So I just finished my first year of college.

[444] I'm fully, fully dependent on my parents, live at home, don't have a car, don't have a car, don't have insurance, anything like that.

[445] As far as debt's concerned, I got two faster loans for 5 .5 each for paper college, and then $2 ,700 for my parents with no interest, as long as I pay it back after I graduate.

[446] So I'm working 22 and a half hours a week at $20 an hour, and I have an internship for 14 to 21 hours a week unpaid.

[447] This is my first time now after the semester, you know, money really felt real after signing off the check for college.

[448] And so I decided I wanted to make a budget.

[449] and assuming my first time doing that.

[450] So given the position I'm in, I need about 3 to 4K per semester for this upcoming year, what percentage should I be putting into saving versus spending versus investing at this point in my life?

[451] At this point in your life, you would be where we call Baby Step 2.

[452] Do you have $1 ,000 in the bank?

[453] No, I have about $600 right now.

[454] I get about $1 ,300 a month.

[455] Rewind.

[456] You're in Baby Step 1.

[457] You're trying to save up $1 ,000.

[458] Can you do that next paycheck?

[459] Yeah.

[460] That will then put you in baby step two where you pay off all of your consumer debt.

[461] So the key right now as a college student is to stop the bleeding, not going to any more debt, and end up graduating completely debt -free with money in the bank, which means, Paul, you didn't hear anything about investing in there or anything about saving.

[462] And so the key right now is to stop the bleeding.

[463] I don't want you investing 15 % and being like, yeah, I funded an IRA while you continue to rack up debt at 6 % interest.

[464] Right.

[465] So you hear what George said Don't save past $1 ,000 Because you're already 11, 12 in the hole Right You have a negative network You're going backwards And by the way Some of that money is owed to the government And some of that's to your mommy and daddy Those are two entities I do not want to owe money to Yeah As you create your budget All of the margin needs to go To paying off debt And funding the next semester And if you need to fund the next semester I'd rather you not go into any more debt Before you pay any off That also means you might have to take a break from school because you can't afford it.

[466] Not saying you have to, but pay cash.

[467] Pay cash.

[468] You make $1 ,800 a month.

[469] Let's put that to good use while you have no bills.

[470] This is The Ramsey Show.

[471] Buying your first home is a big deal and sets the stage for your financial success.

[472] So work with a mortgage advisor you trust, not just some random website.

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[477] 1749 Mallory Lane, Suite 100.

[478] Brentwood, Tennessee, 37027.

[479] Welcome back to the Ramsey Show.

[480] I'm John Deloney joined by George Camel.

[481] George, there are two amazing people out in the audience out there.

[482] That's true.

[483] And I claim them.

[484] They are my parents.

[485] Max and May Camel, you've heard about them, and they're visiting mostly to see their grandbaby, which is fair, but it's an honor to have them up front.

[486] My mom is a faithful watcher on the big screen, and she tells me, she'll text me and go, you need to smile more.

[487] I'm like, Mom, I'm taking a sad call.

[488] I don't know.

[489] It looks weird if I smile, but I love them dearly.

[490] I owe my whole life to them both literally and figuratively with who I am today.

[491] Literally.

[492] Shout out to the parents for sitting around for three hours and watching your son do this.

[493] Who's more critical?

[494] Me or your your mom.

[495] Definitely my mom doesn't hurt my feelings as much.

[496] You are more hurtful.

[497] I will say that.

[498] There's no comparison, James.

[499] You are infinitely harder on my psyche than my mom is.

[500] But George, your mom is beautiful.

[501] Your dad is devastatingly handsome.

[502] Oh, thank you.

[503] Thank you.

[504] Thank you.

[505] I get all my good looks from them.

[506] It's fantastic.

[507] Hey, if you're listening to the show, Er, you're listening to that last segment we did about the state of the economy and you're just frustrated because everybody seems to be acting in the fool.

[508] can help by doing something as simple as subscribing, leaving a five -star review, sharing the show with a friend.

[509] It just kicks the show up and the algorithms doesn't cost you any money.

[510] It takes 10 seconds and it puts the show in front of more people so that more people can go, yeah, you know what?

[511] I'm going to take control of my house.

[512] I'm going to stop complaining about my neighborhood and about some government people who could care less about me. They absolutely don't care about me. They care about their own power and their own drama.

[513] I'm going to start taking control of my house.

[514] And the more that we can kick this show up in the different algorithms, the better off we're all going to be.

[515] So subscribe, leave, review, share with a friend, all the internety things, and just know we're super grateful for you.

[516] Let's roll out to Nicole and go to Little Rock, Arkansas.

[517] Hey, Nicole.

[518] Hi, happy Friday.

[519] And also with you.

[520] I, thank you.

[521] I am 27, and my best friend and I just started planning a trip last night to see our friends in Seattle.

[522] trip will be around $1 ,000, but while we were planning last night, she casually dropped in that she has $8 ,000 in credit card debt.

[523] And I'm having trouble because I don't want to insert myself into her finances.

[524] But also, I think going on this trip would be enabling her dissent into debt, and my immediate reaction is to cancel the trip and maybe fly our friend down instead.

[525] But my question is, should I sit her down and tell her that I don't think the trip is a good idea, or should I stay out of it and keep planning with this trip?

[526] I have an instant gut response.

[527] George, what do you think?

[528] My gut is we can't control people, and you're attempting to do that by canceling the trip.

[529] I assume she's not going to go by herself, right?

[530] Maybe not.

[531] I don't know.

[532] But we can also maybe assume she's going to go spend this money elsewhere and go into debt, and we also can't control that.

[533] So do I think you're a bad person if you, go on this trip and you do it debt -free and you live your life, no. How she chooses to live her life and how she chooses to pay is her business.

[534] You're not dragging her on this vacation, right?

[535] Right.

[536] I'm very similar.

[537] Here's my thoughts on it.

[538] Like, if you have a moral conviction about this trip, for instance, when we get there, we're going to go find a bunch of elderly folks and steal from them or we're going to go get hammered and then do a bunch of drugs and like I don't want to participate in that right if you have a moral conviction I do not associate with people who borrow money I don't go to dinners where people are borrowing putting money on dinner on credit card I don't I don't participate in cool I really would be wary about walking around being the moral police with everybody I have tons of friends, I'm the only friend in my little gang that doesn't use credit card points, no matter how, and they make fun of me for my arguments.

[539] Or they say, actually, arguments are pretty good, but I'm still going to do it anyway.

[540] I am one of just a few friends that writes a check, I mean, that drives old cars and writes a check for them, right?

[541] I, I, until they invite me into that conversation, then I just don't answer questions that I'm not asked.

[542] If you feel like I'm watching my friend drown, then I think you have an obligation to say, hey, you just said you have eight grand in debt?

[543] Is this a smart trip for you?

[544] I don't want to judge and I just want to make sure you're okay because I love you.

[545] Maybe that's the question.

[546] But I think you have to ask yourself, am I a person who never associates with somebody who borrows money?

[547] You're not going to have a lot of friends, but you can roll that way if you wish.

[548] You get to pick your own values.

[549] They just always come with a cost.

[550] Or are you trying to be this person's mother, right?

[551] What do you think it is?

[552] I'm not sure.

[553] What would your friend's reaction be?

[554] Let's say you addressed it in the most polite, sweet, friendly way possible without condemning or shaming, what do you think her reaction would be?

[555] I think she would be embarrassed.

[556] I think she knows that she would get defensive, I'm guessing.

[557] Yeah.

[558] Which is going to cause a rift in your relationship with her and it's going to make things awkward.

[559] It's going to make the trip awkward if you still go because she's going to know in the back of her mind that you're judging everything she swipes that card for on that trip.

[560] And for that reason, I don't think this is going to be a fun trip.

[561] Yeah.

[562] Or the other side of it is you sit down and you say, all right, here's the deal.

[563] I love you.

[564] I had a great last couple of months.

[565] You owe $8 ,000.

[566] I'm willing.

[567] We don't have to.

[568] I'm all excited to go on this trip.

[569] I'm willing to fly our friend down here.

[570] No one will ever know.

[571] We're going to fly him down.

[572] You and I are going to fly her down.

[573] And we're going to do the party here.

[574] I just want you to know, that option is on the table in case she feels quietly pressured to do this.

[575] Yeah, that's a good idea.

[576] And by the way, if that's not, if this is a friend that can't hear that conversation, this is going to be a miserable trip anyway, because this friend and you are not that close.

[577] Like the other day, Will, he's a sound engineer in here.

[578] We went to dinner, he showed up with a ton of drugs.

[579] And I was like, Will, like, that's a lot of drugs.

[580] And he was like, you're right.

[581] And so he just halved his drug intake for the night.

[582] I'm just kidding.

[583] Will, it was like the greatest guy ever.

[584] He doesn't do drugs.

[585] But you see what I'm saying?

[586] like a true friend can hear one of their other friends being concerned about them.

[587] And they can tell the difference between love and criticism.

[588] And they can tell the difference between love and judgment.

[589] And that's what I want you to be careful.

[590] You're not better than your friend.

[591] You don't have any debt.

[592] See the difference?

[593] Right.

[594] Okay, we threw a lot at you.

[595] What are you going to do?

[596] Now I'm kind of invested in this.

[597] Like an episode of the O .C. Yeah.

[598] Where are they now?

[599] I don't know.

[600] I'm going to sit on.

[601] this, but I think...

[602] Get her on a three -way call, let's go.

[603] Let's call her.

[604] You're going to call her right now?

[605] Let's call her.

[606] That would be so cool.

[607] I was just playing.

[608] Do we have the ability to do that?

[609] Yeah, we could do that.

[610] All right, so...

[611] Does she know she's going to be on air?

[612] I'd be so nervous.

[613] Like, you put me on the Ramsey show without telling her.

[614] Right now.

[615] I'd like to do this in person.

[616] That's fair.

[617] That's fair.

[618] I think it's a good idea to say, I just want to, like, give you this option because I know now that you are in $8 ,000.

[619] of credit card debt, I don't know if I'll actually say, I know that you're an $8 ,000.

[620] Well, just say, hey, I know this trip is expensive.

[621] It's costing me $1 ,000.

[622] That feels like a lot on top of, you know, I know, like, you want to get out of this credit card debt.

[623] This is not going to help.

[624] What if we did the trip here and we flew our friend down?

[625] Yeah.

[626] And you just kind of posit it as a hypothetical, you know, a question instead of a statement.

[627] That might help.

[628] Yeah.

[629] Yeah, I think that's a good idea.

[630] All right.

[631] Well, hey, best of luck to you.

[632] listening out there when you join the baby steps path or when you decide to start healing your marriage or you decide to start losing weight start an exercise program whatever thing you got going on your life it's real easy to begin to look around and start judging folks and to start throwing grenades at people like I can't believe man a that's an exhausting unhelpful way to live but when you walk into a room George or you walk into your office you walk into the mall you walk into wherever and you're just judging everybody they don't know you're doing it you're just choosing to have a more miserable day and on the other side if you have some firm values and you love and care about somebody and you see a truck coming right at them you have an obligation to push them out of the way and if this is one of those situations where I in good conscience can't let you dig a deeper hole to run around and be silly on a vacation together let's figure out another path I think that your friend the person you love is worth that conversation I found that I never increase my judgment and also increase my joy.

[633] The two cannot coexist.

[634] You should tweet that.

[635] That's a good tweet.

[636] If I use Twitter, I would, John.

[637] But thank you.

[638] This is a hard conversation.

[639] It's not easy and it's a great reminder for those that do follow the baby steps.

[640] Tread lightly.

[641] I don't talk about money with my friends unless they want to ask me. That's right.

[642] That's it.

[643] And I talk about this stuff all day long.

[644] That's right.

[645] Well, hey, thanks, America.

[646] We will be right back.

[647] This is the Ramsey Show.

[648] Live from Ramsey Network.

[649] This is the Ramsey Show.

[650] I'm John Deloney, joined by George Campbell.

[651] We are taking your calls on money, relationships, mental health, emotional, if your work, whatever you got going on, we have some ideas or some opinions, and some of them are better than others.

[652] If you want to be on the show, give me a buzz at AAA 825 -5 -2 -2 -25.

[653] That's AAA 825 -5 -2 -2 -5.

[654] Let's roll out to Chicago and talk to Chris.

[655] Hey, Chris, what's up?

[656] Hey, what's going on, guys?

[657] Nothing much, man. Let's hope you guys can help solve a little hot button debate in my house.

[658] My wife and I have been working the baby steps for about the past year, and we're just about done.

[659] So her mother gifted her, was offering to pay off her student loan for the past couple years.

[660] We are about to pay off our last credit card, and I'm wondering if we should also pay off her student loan or let her mother keep paying it.

[661] Has her mom paid it yet?

[662] No, she's been making payments, some smaller, some larger.

[663] Pay it off right now.

[664] No. Pay it off.

[665] Yeah.

[666] Okay.

[667] You have the money to do it?

[668] Not exactly, but we've been throwing pretty large chunks at our debt for a while, so it wouldn't take us more than like an extra month.

[669] Okay, so one month from now you've cleared your own debt versus mom pitching in.

[670] What was the agreement with mom pitching in?

[671] Was this just like a gift?

[672] She said, hey, I'd love to help you guys out.

[673] This is a gift.

[674] Don't worry about it.

[675] What was the spirit of it?

[676] Yeah.

[677] Yeah, I think it was a gift.

[678] It was a gift before we were married.

[679] And then after we got married and started working the baby steps, you know, she kind of was like, oh, we'll let my mom pay it.

[680] And we kept working at ours.

[681] But as we've gotten further into it, I just kind of feel like it's in her name.

[682] We should just take care of it and be done with it.

[683] Yes.

[684] And there's going to be some drama in your house.

[685] I can tell by this question.

[686] Yeah, why is it a hot button issue?

[687] what does your wife want to do?

[688] Chris, tell me if I'm wrong.

[689] George, because it's mom made a commitment that may be harder to keep or she wants to do it at her pace and when they go knock it out, they're basically saying we don't want your money, we don't need your money, and that can often leave people feeling untethered.

[690] What purpose do I have?

[691] Or what role do I have?

[692] Or, oh, you're just going to go do it over my head, that kind of thing.

[693] Am I right, Chris?

[694] Yeah, my wife doesn't want to take away the gift.

[695] you know she doesn't want to take away that that charity her mom's given us what what is left what is the amount that her mom would have paid uh like we have like four grand 4 ,300 some odd on it okay and she was making you know the payment plus a little bit yeah like 200 bucks uh she gave us 500 bucks this month but i mean we've been chucking so much a debt we're almost clear and free now so it'd be pretty easy for us i'm trying to ferret away where you both win you guys pay this off now you save a bunch of interest and you talk to mom and say hey thank you so much like you were an integral part of us becoming debt free thank you for this beautiful gift if you still want to continue and and give the rest we have other financial goals here's other ways you can do it maybe it's a 529 for a future grandbaby yeah or hey i'm gonna i'm gonna cover a vacation to celebrate you guys becoming debt free you know it doesn't have to be this like wire transfer transactional thing it can be a celebratory fun thing it can be a legacy thing where hey fund the 529 for the kids, that's plenty gift or don't worry about it.

[696] And I don't know her personality.

[697] And she may not take it well, but that's not on you, how she reacts.

[698] But the way George has teed this up, Chris, is I think he's right on, sit down and say, because you were so generous with us, it allowed us to accelerate through all this other stuff.

[699] And we ended up way ahead of where we thought we were going to be at this time, and we were able to knock it all out.

[700] Yeah, that's awesome.

[701] But I think letting her know, none of this happens without you on front end and you leave the ball in her court to decide what's next that's right then she gets to pick what's next she gets to choose her version of generosity i love that i love that all right let's roll out to josh and san juan puerto rico what's up josh hello hi yes what's up man uh okay so um i'm 35 i don't have any debt um and i'm looking at buying my first house out here in puerto rico i just moved here on monday uh for tax purposes and um the house that i'm I really like it.

[702] It's $6 .75.

[703] So I'm just kind of wondering if I should basically put a large down on it, which is pretty much my entire savings.

[704] Or if maybe the house is a little bit out of my budget, I'm not sure.

[705] Now, when you put this down, let's say you left three months of expenses for your emergency fund and the rest you put down.

[706] Would the mortgage payment then be 25 % of your take -home pay?

[707] It would be more than 25%.

[708] Then the home is out of your budget.

[709] And this has nothing to do with what you have in savings or not.

[710] You just need to either adjust your expectations, find a cheaper home, or you continue, you rent, you continue to save until you can make that work, where it's 25 % of your take -home pay on a 15 -year.

[711] Otherwise, you're biting off more than you can chew.

[712] Got it.

[713] There is a VA, so I do have access to a VA home loan, which might be better.

[714] Not a blessing, right.

[715] Here's why.

[716] Yeah.

[717] The VA loan is just going to allow you to put less down, which means more mortgage, which will still give you a massive payment.

[718] So unless you get into this house, it's still going to be a curse because it's going to be 50, 60 % of your take -home pay.

[719] And all of a sudden, this wonderful life you had tried to build in Puerto Rico is now kind of a nightmare because you're now just working to pay the bills again.

[720] Got it.

[721] Got it.

[722] Yeah.

[723] Yeah, you're totally right.

[724] I kind of knew it was a little bit too much, but I just really liked the house.

[725] I bet it's a beautiful house.

[726] Yeah.

[727] But right now, you might just need to go, I got to get a condo that's $350 ,000.

[728] Or just rent.

[729] Or just rent for a year.

[730] Yeah.

[731] But do not deplete your whole savings.

[732] Josh, are you from Puerto Rico?

[733] I'm from Florida.

[734] I'm from, like, Tampa area.

[735] But I just moved out here because I have an online company, and I can essentially avoid taxes if I have a permanent resident here.

[736] And I move my entity out here.

[737] Okay, you're moving there for freedom, though, right?

[738] Yes.

[739] All right.

[740] I want you to practice that for a year.

[741] Rent a house.

[742] Okay.

[743] Because you've made this big, huge move.

[744] You clearly have watched a ton of Instagram reels about dudes, like, moving their businesses.

[745] That's awesome.

[746] Yeah.

[747] But I want you to actually live it.

[748] Because many of us here in the States, I don't mind paying the taxes that I pay for my roads.

[749] police officers and I don't mind it.

[750] You know what I'm saying?

[751] Now, if it gets bananas, then yeah, we'll have to, let me say this way.

[752] I don't like it and I don't know that anybody loves it.

[753] But I prefer living where I live more than the savings I would have to not pay them.

[754] Does that make sense?

[755] And so you have a good idea.

[756] It's going to save you some money, but it's going to cost you a lot too.

[757] And so just play it slow, man. And if you love Puerto Rico, if that's your style, if that's your move.

[758] You don't miss your family.

[759] You don't miss your friends.

[760] You don't miss any of the mainland drama.

[761] Well, good for you, man. Then save up and buy a house.

[762] What's your income, Josh?

[763] So it can fluctuate depending on how business is doing, but yearly take home after taxes.

[764] It's anywhere from 200 on the low end.

[765] It can be 300 or so.

[766] Incredible.

[767] Which tells me if you can live on way less than you make and shove away 75 % of your take home pay, you're going to have an amazing house in no time with that amazing income.

[768] So this is just a patience game, you're 35, you're doing amazingly well, and everyone is jealous listening right now, but just move slow, don't bite off more than you can chew.

[769] And never do anything for tax purposes.

[770] That shouldn't be your one strategy.

[771] That might be a byproduct because of your choice, but I don't let that steer my decisions.

[772] And everybody, when you move to a new town, you move to a new territory, wherever you're going, it never hurts to rent.

[773] You get the lay of the land, and then you figure out where you want to live, how you want to live, and then you go from there.

[774] We'll be right back.

[775] This is The Ramsey Show.

[776] You've worked, saved, sacrificed, and been gazelle intense with your financial game plan.

[777] But do you have the right defense in place, like the right health insurance?

[778] Look, you can't walk past a doctor's office these days without getting a massive bill.

[779] And if you don't have health insurance, a major medical situation can undo all of your hard work.

[780] That's where my friends at Health Trust Financial can help.

[781] They work for you, not the insurance company, so they find you the right health insurance and they save you money.

[782] Ramsey has recommended Health Trust Financial for two decades because they're the experts, and whether you're 19 years old or 90, you can trust them to do two very important things.

[783] Listen to you, then find you health insurance coverage with everything you need and nothing you don't.

[784] Health Trust Financial is your one -stop shop for unbiased advice about affordable health insurance options.

[785] They could save you hundreds of dollars a month, so make sure you're not overpaying.

[786] Go to health trustfinancial .com today.

[787] HealthTrustfinancial .com.

[788] Welcome back to the Ramsey Show.

[789] I'm John Deloney, joined by George Campbell, taking your calls on money and life.

[790] Triple -8 -8 -8 -25 -5 -2 -2 -5.

[791] Let's go out to Tuscaloosa, Alabama, and talk to Alexis.

[792] Hey, Alexis, what's up?

[793] Hey, how are y 'all?

[794] We're so good.

[795] How are you?

[796] I'm good.

[797] So I had a question about some Rand's credit hit on my husband's credit.

[798] So we were at a truck dealership about to finance him a truck.

[799] And they came back and basically declined it and said that, There has been...

[800] Alexis, you're breaking up.

[801] Speak directly in your phone.

[802] There you go.

[803] Okay, so the last we heard...

[804] So you're about to finance a truck.

[805] They declined it because of something on his credit report.

[806] Continue.

[807] Yes.

[808] So basically, he's never financed anything.

[809] He's never had a credit card, anything.

[810] We never got a phone call, a letter in the mail, an email, nothing.

[811] About $600 he owes.

[812] Um, that's on his credit.

[813] Yeah.

[814] So I was curious, like, could that be?

[815] Could it be what now?

[816] Could it be a scam?

[817] Uh, it, not a scam, but it could be fraud.

[818] Either it's inaccurate and it's just a clerical error, or there was some fraud where someone used his name, his social security number, what have you, to create a credit account and racked up 600 bucks and never paid it.

[819] But here's, and Alexis, I, I haven't.

[820] tried to finance anything other than a house for ages.

[821] And so I may be off here, but I remember coming out of college.

[822] One of my roommates, we all shared a house, was supposed to make the final payments on like a phone bill or on a cable bill or something.

[823] And that ended up on my credit.

[824] And it kept getting brought up for years, but here's the catch.

[825] Or maybe it was like we had a cable box, remember those back in the day?

[826] We didn't return the cable box and the cord, so they billed us for whatever.

[827] So it could be any number of things, but here's the bigger issue.

[828] It never prohibited me from being stupid with money and getting a credit card or financing a car.

[829] There's something else going on for $600.

[830] Okay.

[831] Have you all pulled your credit report on your own and looked at it?

[832] We have not.

[833] Okay.

[834] We were kind of just trying to...

[835] Well, your first step is to get out.

[836] actual report.

[837] So you can go to annualcreditreport .com and you can pull them for free from all three credit bureaus.

[838] So get all three, take a look at them, make sure there's no errors.

[839] If there are any errors, you need to contact the bureau and dispute the error and say, hey, this is fake, whatever it is.

[840] Then you can place a fraud alert, you can freeze your credit.

[841] I've frozen all of mine, because I've had identity theft happened to me where it was a similar situation.

[842] I pulled in, I went, what are these charges?

[843] And I got a debt collector calling me for debts I don't owe.

[844] And so there was actual fraud in that situation.

[845] I mean, you said I could borrow that money, George.

[846] It was $1 ,700, John.

[847] Yeah, you didn't say I had to pay it back.

[848] So that's one thing I would do is just get all the reports, then contact them if there's any errors.

[849] But also figure out what company this is, get in touch with them, and see if he ever had an account with them, like John said.

[850] It could have been legit, and it's just something he didn't realize existed.

[851] But honestly, my favorite thing about this is I think this was the Lord saying, don't finance a giant truck.

[852] Yeah.

[853] I'm going to make a way.

[854] for this not to happen.

[855] It's kind of like you call the marriage show and you're like, all right, so I was trying to cheat on my husband and the restaurant wouldn't let me pay for the food.

[856] Like, don't finance a car.

[857] Alexis, it's the Ramsey show.

[858] We're never going to tell you to finance a truck or a car.

[859] Go spend $5 ,000 of your own money and buy a piece of junk.

[860] Your husband will live, I promise.

[861] George and I are both still living and breathing and our wives still love us.

[862] And we're only recently buying cars that can go more than 20 miles at a time.

[863] And even Georgia's, I have had to push it before.

[864] That is a legitimate story for another day.

[865] That's right.

[866] Let's go out to Greenville, South Carolina, and talk to Laura.

[867] Hey, Laura, what's up?

[868] Hey, how are you doing today?

[869] We are rocking on to the break of dawn.

[870] Laura, what's up?

[871] Awesome.

[872] I'm glad to hear that.

[873] Well, I'm calling.

[874] 25 years old.

[875] I live in Greenville, South Carolina.

[876] and about last year I got into a really bad wreck was in the hospital for a few days long story short I'm finally getting some settlement money and I just want to be financially responsible with that amount of money that I'm receiving and so just trying to figure out what I should invest in what should I do Laura we are cheering you on thank you you got hurt bad and you came back from it didn't you?

[877] I did I sure did How are you today?

[878] Are you back to 100 %?

[879] Yes, I'm great, doing well.

[880] Working full -time?

[881] Part -time.

[882] Okay.

[883] Are you in school?

[884] No, I graduated a few years ago.

[885] What are you doing for work?

[886] So I work part -time as a server, and then I have a small business on the side.

[887] Is it a hobby or is it a business?

[888] It's a business.

[889] I've been in business for about four years now.

[890] How much do you make on that business?

[891] And I would say, depending on the year, anywhere between like $20 ,000 to $30 ,000.

[892] It's a small e -commerce business.

[893] Okay.

[894] Well, tell us about your financial situation.

[895] How much is the settlement and how much debt do you have?

[896] So right now, the settlement is $20 ,700.

[897] Okay.

[898] And I'm $14 ,200 in debt, which is a car loan, and that's the only debt that I have.

[899] Good.

[900] I just finished paying my medical debt this morning, so that's a plus.

[901] Wonderful.

[902] Okay, so you're going to pay off this car loan immediately, which is going to leave you with $6 ,000, and we're going to call that part of your three to six -month emergency fund.

[903] So you will not be doing any investing with this money, but what it will do is set you up with this incredible financial foundation so that, number one, you never go into debt again.

[904] And number two, you can start building for the future instead of paying for the past.

[905] Correct.

[906] And that's exactly what I want to do.

[907] So with your future income, you get the settlement money, pay off the car loan immediately, put the rest in a high -yield savings account, and then begin to add to it until you have three to six months of expenses.

[908] That might be $10 ,000 for you, $15 ,000.

[909] My next question is, my bank is offering a high -field savings account with 4 .67%.

[910] I'll tell you right now, you can do better.

[911] Now, the point of a savings account is not to make a bunch of money.

[912] The point is to keep it safe and keep it liquid.

[913] For my YouTube channel, we partnered with a great online bank called Laurel Road, and right now their rates are 5 .15%.

[914] So if you go to Laurelroad .com slash George, you can sign up for an account there.

[915] Great people.

[916] They're simple.

[917] They're not going to sell you a bunch of crappy products, and they'll take care of you.

[918] But the high -yield savings account is the place to store it.

[919] But again, don't even worry about the interest rate because that's going to fluctuate.

[920] It may go down as time goes on.

[921] The point is that you stack up this money and you don't touch it unless it's a true emergency.

[922] And here, Laura, I want you to hear what George is saying because it's important.

[923] All right.

[924] This money is not to make you rich.

[925] You're going to have people in your life.

[926] They're like, you got $20 ,000.

[927] You're going to have TikTok knuckleheads, Instagram knuckleheads, all telling you, you should be passive income.

[928] This money, the $6 ,000, bucks is going to protect you when you get a flat tire and you don't have to go backwards when your when your electric bill ends up being $150 more this summer than you were expecting and it will be annoying you won't have to go put money on a credit card that you don't have right and you called can I can I challenge you on something sure go ahead I think you're worth more than $30 ,000 a year I believe that too.

[929] I think it's time to have a hard conversation with somebody in your local area about your e -commerce business and maybe that stays on the side.

[930] But I sure would love, the world needs you because you're smart and you're thoughtful and you all have overcome that you're obviously got grit.

[931] The world needs you out there serving your community in whatever that looks like, right?

[932] As a salesperson, as like working at a restaurant, whatever it is.

[933] But, man, let's be done with this part -time server gig.

[934] Let's go get a...

[935] What if you're making 60, 70 grand plus the 30 from your side business?

[936] Now we can really build some wealth and accomplish some goals.

[937] That would be outstanding.

[938] I would love to see you earn a 50, 60 grand by this time next year, plus keeping your $30 ,000 side hustle.

[939] And now you're going to not only have $20 ,000, you are going to change your family tree.

[940] This is The Ramsey Show.

[941] We'll be right back.

[942] Welcome back to The Ramsey Show.

[943] I'm John Deloney joined by my good friend.

[944] George Campbell.

[945] Let's roll out to actually, you're on the camera.

[946] So we have a call coming in and I was like, I don't know the answer to this question.

[947] Found a friend.

[948] No a guy who does.

[949] We phoned a friend.

[950] And if you are too young for that reference, Google that, phone a friend.

[951] Yeah.

[952] And we called...

[953] That's who wants to be a millionaire, wasn't it?

[954] Yes.

[955] Okay.

[956] You're showing your age.

[957] We called a friend, Kid Coleman.

[958] It's great show.

[959] Thank you guys.

[960] I'm happy to be here.

[961] I was at my desk, taking care of very menial tasks, and I got the bat phone signal from James the fearless leader and he said, can you join us?

[962] I said you don't have to ask me twice to hang out with George and Dr. John.

[963] This is as close as I get to being on SportsCenter.

[964] So thank you, Ken. It feels really good to be amongst you.

[965] All right, let's go out to Louisville, Kentucky and talk to Aeron.

[966] What's up, Aaron?

[967] Oh, not much.

[968] How are y 'all doing?

[969] We are doing great.

[970] How about you, brother?

[971] I'm doing all right.

[972] Doing all right.

[973] All right.

[974] So what's up, man?

[975] so i'm 21 years old i am 12 6 in debt um with credit cards a personal loan and a car payment and i work a full -time job more than a full -time job about 65 to 70 hours a week most weeks pay is really irregular so it just depends on when the job gets done what i get paid percentage of that anyway but i'm trying to figure out a way with my schedule how i can find ways to bring in more money because right now my prediction for being out of debt is March of 26 and I don't like how far out that is.

[976] All right.

[977] Let's start with what are you doing now at 65 to 70 hours a week?

[978] I do flooring for a living.

[979] So trades, I install like hardwoods, tiles, carpet, vinyl plank flooring.

[980] And I know your pay is intermittent and I understand how that works.

[981] You get paid when the job gets done.

[982] Do you have an idea what you're making per hour?

[983] Do you have any kind of an equation there?

[984] Well, I'm estimated to make about $50 ,000 this year, if everything goes well.

[985] Okay, well, you're working way too many hours to be making $50 ,000 in a trade.

[986] What do you do in the floor?

[987] Are you actually laying it, measuring it?

[988] What's your role?

[989] I'm installing the floor.

[990] Yeah.

[991] How many more trade jobs could you pick up?

[992] Forget how realistic it is in this moment, but what could you do?

[993] What other things are you qualified to do right now?

[994] I mean, I've done framing a little bit in the past as far as building houses, a little bit of concrete work, but not too much.

[995] Okay.

[996] Well, the framing alone, so I had a guy on my show guys recently, he's got a big YouTube channel, he's a carpenter, and he teaches people how to do carpentry on YouTube.

[997] He's got a very, very large following.

[998] I had him on my show to talk about a video that he put out that went viral, and it was that there is this, huge need for carpenters right now.

[999] Like there's no, there's not enough carpenters.

[1000] So the reason I bring this up, Aaron, is because you should be making, and I don't know what the, what the market is in Louisville, you could probably tell me, is it anywhere between 30 to 40 an hour for a good carpenter?

[1001] I don't know, honestly.

[1002] I'm about an hour and something away from Louisville technically.

[1003] All right.

[1004] Well, it doesn't matter.

[1005] But so here's my point.

[1006] Right now, you're working 65 to 70 hours.

[1007] hours a week and you're not bringing enough income.

[1008] I want George to jump in on the...

[1009] I crunch the numbers and I hate to break it to you.

[1010] You're making about 13 to 15 an hour, which is the equivalent of someone working full -time 40 hours a week, making 30 grand, 25 or 30 grand a year.

[1011] That's not okay with your skill set.

[1012] No, no. Because concrete work, carpentry work, you should be, and I could be wrong, but you should be in the $25 per hour on the low end.

[1013] And so my point here is, Aaron, And this is about you saying, I have more options than I think I have.

[1014] And the way you find those options is you've got to start talking to people all the time.

[1015] When you're in the car on the way to this gig, you're calling people.

[1016] When you're on your way home, you're calling people.

[1017] And you're letting everybody and anybody know.

[1018] You've got friends who have a Facebook page.

[1019] Or if you've got a Facebook, you're saying, listen, I can do work.

[1020] And pretty soon we've got to replace the 65 to 70 hours that you're working for way, below market value, as George is pointed out.

[1021] And Aaron, I got a guy he's 21, and he's a handyman now, and he quit everything else he was doing, and he charges 50 to 90 bucks per hour, and he's fully booked, because you can't find reliable handymen who do good work these days.

[1022] Exactly right.

[1023] So you could do that in your neighborhood and double your income tomorrow.

[1024] Here's an option I had at my last job.

[1025] I mean, in my last state where I live back in Texas, a guy would just put stuff up at church, And he was a handyman like that.

[1026] And he would say, I will be at your house November 1st.

[1027] I will work until all the jobs you need are done.

[1028] And it would be everything from move a plug, hang a fan, fix this flooring.

[1029] I need you to put carpet in the back.

[1030] It was everything.

[1031] And he could do it all.

[1032] And he would stay at your house for 10 days, 11 days.

[1033] And he would charge you 50 to 90 bucks an hour.

[1034] And then he'd move on to the next gig.

[1035] But you see what we're saying, Aaron?

[1036] So you're hearing this.

[1037] We're telling you you're worth more than you're getting paid right now.

[1038] And there's probably a ton of opportunity.

[1039] with, of course, some downside, but a ton of opportunity if you go out on your own, what do you feel in as we're telling you all this stuff?

[1040] Trying to think of ways I can pull some side jobs and...

[1041] We're telling you, you need to replace your full -time core income.

[1042] Yeah.

[1043] You've got to replace your big kid job.

[1044] The solution is not more side jobs and more hours.

[1045] It's less hours doing work that pays more.

[1046] Dude, go work 60 hours a week at McDonald's, because they're paying $20 an hour.

[1047] Yeah, I couldn't handle doing fast food.

[1048] I know.

[1049] But you're breaking your elbows and your knees and your neck and your back.

[1050] John, I feel something on, Aaron.

[1051] I don't know if you're feeling the same thing.

[1052] Go it.

[1053] Aaron, I just don't think that you think that you can go get this work.

[1054] I think you think the best thing you got going for you right now, or maybe you feel limited by something else in your life right now to where you go.

[1055] I feel stuck in this flooring job.

[1056] Is that right?

[1057] I don't mind being wrong.

[1058] No, it's a great job.

[1059] No, it's not.

[1060] Of all the things I've done, it's the one I enjoy doing the most.

[1061] Yeah, but it sucks.

[1062] Getting to pay for the hours is the hard part.

[1063] That's it.

[1064] But, Aaron, the job sucks.

[1065] You're making $13 an hour.

[1066] That's not a good job.

[1067] You like the work.

[1068] That's awesome.

[1069] But there is somebody else that will pay you way more for that work.

[1070] I agree.

[1071] Are you in a really small area where you feel your options are limited?

[1072] Yeah, way out in the country.

[1073] What's holding you to that area?

[1074] What's stopping you from moving closer to the city?

[1075] Your church?

[1076] yeah what does that mean your church yeah what's that mean my so my church is way out in the middle of the county it's about an hour and some change from the cities and so I like being closer to my church for any kind of ministry how often in the ministry so I like being there and love that okay real quick because we only have a couple minutes we got to we got to lock in on something how many times a week are you at that church doing ministry besides going to church on Sundays Sundays, Wednesdays, Thursday nights, jail ministry, and then Tuesday nights we have a young people's ministry.

[1077] Okay, here's the thing.

[1078] I'm a pastor, son.

[1079] So if you don't like one about to say, I don't know what else to tell you, but I'm a pastor, son, and I live that life.

[1080] Sunday morning, Sunday night, Wednesday night, Thursday night visitation.

[1081] That was my whole stinking life.

[1082] You can do that when you're no longer broke, but you can't do that right now.

[1083] Now, you need to decide.

[1084] And I don't know how you're doing all that working 65 to 70 hours a week.

[1085] That's a recipe, doctor.

[1086] for a breakdown, isn't it?

[1087] Yeah, you're burning the candle at every end, aren't you, Aaron?

[1088] Just about.

[1089] It should not take you two years to pay off 12 grand.

[1090] I get back for my friends that I work way too much.

[1091] Well, you've got too much going on, period.

[1092] And you're broke.

[1093] And you're broke.

[1094] You've probably heard this before, but if you fly on an airplane, they tell you, in the case of an emergency, when the oxygen masks drop out, as a parent, do not put your oxygen mask on your kid first, put it on you first so that you have air and you can take care of the people around you that you're obligated to take care of.

[1095] Right now, you're trying to take care of your boss, for some reason.

[1096] You're trying to take care of your entire church community, which is honorable.

[1097] The person being left out of this equation is you.

[1098] And if you go back to scripture, Jesus was always pulling away.

[1099] He was tired.

[1100] He said, I don't even where to lay in my head.

[1101] He was always pulling away to spend some time, right?

[1102] Aaron, I think you need to drive a little further to go to church, be a little closer to some great work opportunities where you're making close to double what you're making right now.

[1103] You have a great skill set, my friend.

[1104] And George, 12 -6, he could pay that off in it.

[1105] I want to see that gone in six months, not two years.

[1106] You know what I love guys?

[1107] I love trades guys.

[1108] Trades men and women who love it.

[1109] He loves this.

[1110] I love that.

[1111] He just got to find somebody who will pay him what he's worth.

[1112] Hey, this is the Ramsey Show.

[1113] We'll be right back.

[1114] What up, what up, what up?

[1115] This is John with the Ramsey Show.

[1116] I'm joined by George Camel.

[1117] And we've got a couple of work questions that have come in.

[1118] Career questions, questions about purpose, and what the world am I doing?

[1119] So we phoned a friend, and we went over to where our offices are.

[1120] And we asked the great and mighty Ken Coleman if you would join us, and he has joined us.

[1121] And so we're going to roll out and take another question.

[1122] about work with our brother Justin here down the street in Nashville, Tennessee.

[1123] What up, Justin?

[1124] Hello, hello.

[1125] How are you today?

[1126] Outstanding, brother.

[1127] What's up?

[1128] Awesome.

[1129] Well, I tell you what, I just kind of wanted to tell you a little about myself.

[1130] So I'm 38 from right here in Nashville.

[1131] I was employed with a company that did online marketing and SEO for eight and a half years is the kind of time I spent with them.

[1132] But I was recently let go or fired this Wednesday.

[1133] Oh, man. Yeah, yeah.

[1134] And I have a four -year degree in communications, bachelor's.

[1135] I have $21 ,000 set aside in savings for a little rainy fund.

[1136] I also have a mutual fund with Fidelity Investments, but it's only worth about $4 ,000.

[1137] I'm single without kids.

[1138] I'm debt -free.

[1139] And currently, I have no health insurance, so that sucks.

[1140] but I need to bounce back and would like to earn a living soon at a job where, you know, I have the potential to work my way up and earn at least 100K a year.

[1141] I know that sounds like a dream right now, but, you know, I was actually just kind of like some kind of entry level to, you know, work my way up the ladder in the tech field like that.

[1142] And I know initially that's, you know, kind of unreal, but I would like the opportunity to climb the ladder.

[1143] So, you know, the company I did just work for merged recently, so that's not really a good sign.

[1144] But I was making about 42K a year, and that's not a lot at all.

[1145] What were you doing?

[1146] Online marketing.

[1147] Online marketing?

[1148] Yeah.

[1149] Okay.

[1150] And did I hear you say you want to get on a path to technology?

[1151] Yes, yes.

[1152] That would be nice.

[1153] What specifically?

[1154] Well, I tell you, you know, if it's, I don't know.

[1155] It's funny.

[1156] I've been thinking about it here recently, and, you know, there's a company named Oracle that's kind of like headquartering here now in Nashville.

[1157] I know everybody wants to do.

[1158] Small little startup.

[1159] Yeah.

[1160] Yeah, it's like, there's this little body of land.

[1161] They call it America.

[1162] It's like the Oracle's, what, got 100 ,000 employees or something like that?

[1163] Yeah, yeah, they're moving their headquarters to Nashville.

[1164] But specifically, are you thinking about programming, cybersecurity, what interest?

[1165] you?

[1166] Well, I tell you, what I was just doing with search engine optimization is interesting to me. But also, you know, I would like to, you know, learn programming as well.

[1167] And, you know, whatever I could do to, how do I put this, I guess, have a steady income there, be useful to the organization and have an ability to work my way up.

[1168] But I want to know just, you know, currently speaking, and my current condition, kind of what you would really recommend here.

[1169] Okay, so I would think of the short term first, because getting qualified to do that kind of technical work, I've got an answer for you there, and I think we've got a great resource for you, but let's look at short term.

[1170] What I would tell you, and I know George and John will agree here, is we would like you to not have to dip into that $21 ,000 emergency fund because you're single, and so we don't have a wife or kids that are relying on you.

[1171] That makes us a little easier.

[1172] and so I also am a guy that believes in bouncing back pretty quickly and just bringing income in the door right now, I would recommend that because it keeps you from sitting around the house kind of going, this is what happened to me, and what am I going to do next?

[1173] And we're going to give you some steps on that, but short term, John, I hope that's not bad advice.

[1174] I'd like to see him just get anything, even if it's Uber or it's jumping in at a Walmart, 20 bucks an hour.

[1175] That's exactly right.

[1176] To stay active and also, quite frankly, let's not dip into that 21 ,000 unless we absolutely have to.

[1177] So Justin, that's the first thing.

[1178] Does that make sense?

[1179] There's often a rumor, if you will.

[1180] It just kind of makes its way into the mythology, Kian, but that if you just go get another regular old job, that somehow that will hurt your ability to get a job down the road.

[1181] And like a job's beneath you.

[1182] Or why did you have to go throw a at Walmart or why did you go do X, Y, and Z?

[1183] And I need you to know as a guy who's hired a bunch of people, that would put you at the top of my list because you would be a guy that I know would push through a lot of stuff, who would go get the job done, who wasn't scared of hard work, no job was beneath you.

[1184] Like you see what I'm saying?

[1185] It would send a message to me about your character and who you actually are.

[1186] Were you laid off as a result of the merger or was just fired for discipline or anything else?

[1187] Because John brings up a good point about what our narrative is going to be as we move forward.

[1188] What happened?

[1189] Okay, well, determination.

[1190] What I wanted to know is it really killing my chances moving ahead, but, you know, I got to tell you here, so it was basically related to, well, this is a message, and they told me, they told me I'm not fitting in with how everybody else is fitting in at the moment and the merger, and, you know, maybe it has something to do with a performance deal or something, but that was never communicated to me prior to the.

[1191] All right.

[1192] So let me jump in here.

[1193] All right.

[1194] To John's point, you tell everybody else what they told you, and that is we have a merger and you were, you were, you got, you were laid off because there's just too many things.

[1195] You didn't fit into that new plan.

[1196] Big deal.

[1197] To John's point, nobody cares because the answer is, it was a corporate layoff.

[1198] I was a victim of a corporate merger.

[1199] In fact, I'd say something just like that.

[1200] Because nobody even wants to dig into that.

[1201] It's kind of one of those things like, oh, okay.

[1202] A corporate merger.

[1203] You got laid off.

[1204] You're a victim of...

[1205] This happens every day.

[1206] And Justin, you are massively underpaid.

[1207] I just looked up.

[1208] And even here at Ramsey Solutions, we're hiring for a digital marketing specialist.

[1209] And the range is from 56 to 83.

[1210] And even outside of their Nashville, 50 to 60 is what I'm seeing for the range for an entry -level digital marketing specialist.

[1211] So you got eight years of experience.

[1212] You're clearly good at what you do.

[1213] I would go, like Ken said, do the side jobs for now until you can find a full -time SEO spot and then get the tech skills.

[1214] and eventually move into that realm.

[1215] So, Justin, we're going to recommend that you call Bethel Tech.

[1216] All right, you got something to write with?

[1217] Yes.

[1218] BethelTech .net.

[1219] Now, let me just tell you one testimony, okay?

[1220] First of all, I'll give you a reference and then a testimony.

[1221] So Ramsey Solutions hires Bethel Tech to train people in our organization to move from non -tech jobs into tech jobs.

[1222] So that's about as strong of an endorsement as you can get from the big man himself.

[1223] Dave Ramsey, who doesn't cut checks lightly.

[1224] Now a real story.

[1225] We had a guy that we found out about that was listening to my show.

[1226] He was a school teacher making about $46 ,000 a year.

[1227] He took Betheltex program.

[1228] Justin, it's a nine -month program.

[1229] It's less than 15 grand for Ramsey Show and Ken Coleman listeners, anybody associated with our network, okay?

[1230] Nine -month online program.

[1231] He got placed in a job because they do job placement as well.

[1232] And he was placed before he finished the nine -month program, making $74 ,000 a year.

[1233] And we just got an update that he's in line for a promotion two months from now where he'll make over six figures.

[1234] And this is in programming.

[1235] They also do cybersecurity, UX, UI, the whole nine yards.

[1236] So I want you to at least call them and say, I talk to Ken and John and George on the Ramsey Show, and they sent me to you guys, kick the tires.

[1237] They'll tell you everything.

[1238] And you can actually afford that because you got the money set aside.

[1239] and I'd rather you spend the money investing in yourself than living off that money.

[1240] George?

[1241] I'm with that, and I think he's, even for now, he needs to be getting paid more.

[1242] And then the long -term trajectory of your career, jumping into tech, you're going to go to six figures and higher very quickly.

[1243] All right, Justin, I want to leave you with one thing, okay?

[1244] Okay.

[1245] You gave your heart and soul to this company for almost a decade, and they just looked you and that and cut you, didn't they?

[1246] Yes.

[1247] That hurts, doesn't it?

[1248] Yes, it does.

[1249] All right.

[1250] Don't blow by that.

[1251] okay grief is right I hate they did that to you you gave everything you had and they lied to you on the way out the door they didn't even if it was a performance issue they didn't tell you the truth they were cowards about it if you've had issues fitting in over the last few years they were cowards about it nobody sat you down and loved you enough to be honest with you and they just cut you loose and you've been working hard for them haven't you?

[1252] Yes all right here's the temptation the temptation is to go to the next job and only go halfway do not do that You're not that kind of person.

[1253] You're a person of character and integrity.

[1254] If you have an old colleague that you could call and say, hey, what really happened?

[1255] Will you be honest with me?

[1256] Maybe you've got that.

[1257] But I want you to sit and be sad about it.

[1258] And then we're going to get a job tomorrow.

[1259] And we're going to head north.

[1260] I'm proud of you, my brother.

[1261] Hey, that's it for this hour of the Ramsey show.

[1262] We'll be back soon.

[1263] Don't go away.

[1264] What up?

[1265] What up?

[1266] This is John.

[1267] Joined by my good friend George Camel.

[1268] And this is the Ramsey Show.

[1269] talking to you about your money and your life and your relationships and whatever you got going on and this show is for you and it's about you.

[1270] If you want to be on, give us a buzz.

[1271] Triple 8 -8 -25 -5 -2 -2 -5.

[1272] It's triple -8 -25.

[1273] 5 -2 -25.

[1274] We are taking your calls right now and we're going to, I don't know, tell you what we think, George.

[1275] That's about all we can do at the end of the day.

[1276] And it doesn't cost you anything.

[1277] What else are you doing?

[1278] Let's go out to Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania.

[1279] and talk to the great and wonderful Julie.

[1280] Hey, Julie, what's up?

[1281] Hey, there's a couple of things that are up in the air.

[1282] We got you.

[1283] A little background.

[1284] I'm a widow, and I have three young daughters, and I have been blessed to find an amazing man that is getting ready to be added into our family as my husband, and also an amazing father figure to my girls.

[1285] Excellent.

[1286] Yes, so there's been a nice.

[1287] many blessings to come out of it.

[1288] However, the homes that we have, his home and my home, they're in different states, very close to each other, but they just do not suit our family's needs.

[1289] I have been debt -free since 2015.

[1290] I own rental properties.

[1291] They're all cash flowing debt -free, and so it's my home.

[1292] He still has a mortgage.

[1293] And is, um, is that home is valued at, uh, 375 ,000 and he currently own, uh, owes 123 K on it.

[1294] Um, because neither the homes work for our new, uh, family situation, he would like to, because, um, we're getting to that age where we definitely know how to do everything from the roof to the foundation and everything in between, but we're getting tired.

[1295] And he says, we don't want something that we have to fix on all the time because we do have the rental properties.

[1296] So he had started listening to some Dave Ramsey things because I'm trying to foster that into our marriage so that we can be financially successful together.

[1297] But he said, well, Dave doesn't say that it's a bad thing to have a mortgage.

[1298] And I said, it's not a bad thing to have a mortgage, but if we did some remodeling to this, house here that is debt -free, which would cost about $80 ,000.

[1299] We would be debt -free, and with the income that we have coming in annually, we're making, on average, he's commission -based, and obviously I have tenants that come and go for whatever reason, so we're pulling about $216K a year.

[1300] So, Julie, this conversation is not about a mortgage at all.

[1301] Okay.

[1302] You know that, right?

[1303] here's the conversation i won't be silly and coy we don't have five hours to unpack it this isn't about dave ramsay and this isn't about a partridge in a pear tree this is about you sitting down and saying we're about to be married and we need to be on the same page about this yeah i can't breathe if i owe somebody money and life happens because it happened to me. Yes.

[1304] I don't want to bring any debt into this marriage.

[1305] Yeah.

[1306] And that's the conversation you've got to have.

[1307] Okay.

[1308] And then everything next solves to create a life of debt freedom, every decision.

[1309] And that might mean, well, he's going to sell his place, I'm going to sell rental property so that we can buy this new place and cash.

[1310] There's going to be hard decisions on every side, but you guys have to be aligned on that.

[1311] How old are your daughters?

[1312] Yes.

[1313] So they are 11, 9, and 8th, and all about to age up in a month or two.

[1314] Okay.

[1315] So I was going to say, if they were 18, 15, and 17, you can get through a couple of years.

[1316] But you still got another 10 years of...

[1317] I still got a lot of raisin to do.

[1318] Yeah, you got a decade left.

[1319] So, yeah, you only need to get a place that works for your family.

[1320] Julie, I love...

[1321] A, y 'all are super blessed financially.

[1322] You have been very wise and stewarded your money well.

[1323] He's not, I mean, he's got $250 ,000 in equity in his place.

[1324] So nobody's starving here, right?

[1325] We're not.

[1326] And would it be wise to, you know, sell my home and sell his home and find something in that budget range?

[1327] But when I look at that, most of the homes that are within side of that range just because we are right now in the real estate world are still things that need fixing, whether it be windows or an HVAC system or, you know what I mean?

[1328] They're light repairs.

[1329] So let's play it out where you don't.

[1330] keep, you know, you're not playing monopoly.

[1331] We don't need to keep 17 properties to win the game.

[1332] So let's say he sold his place.

[1333] He has 250 in equity.

[1334] You sold your place.

[1335] How, what is it worth?

[1336] 318.

[1337] Okay.

[1338] So let's call it 300.

[1339] That's 550.

[1340] Do you have any money saved outside of the emergency fund?

[1341] Either of you?

[1342] We do.

[1343] Those have drastically went down because he's been out of work since November and I recently had a family member that passed from cancer.

[1344] So our emergency fund currently right now is collectively $13 ,000.

[1345] Why has he not worked since November?

[1346] He had an amputation.

[1347] But thank God he does have insurance that's carrying him through that, so that was...

[1348] But he's dwindling down his emergency fund?

[1349] Yes.

[1350] You just said y 'all make 216 together.

[1351] Yes, he's been off since November.

[1352] He's still hired through that company.

[1353] It's just he's been off with that injury.

[1354] But there's still.

[1355] paying him?

[1356] Yes.

[1357] Full salary or what?

[1358] No, it's through his, he has a policy that it's kicked in.

[1359] So he's not able to work like DoorDash or any of that stuff because then those benefits would go away.

[1360] When will he go back to work full -time?

[1361] We are hoping he had to have a revisit of the surgery.

[1362] So what the doctors are telling us is it could be eight to ten weeks.

[1363] So is the remodel making the house ADA accessible?

[1364] Mine is, this is not his type steps, and that was another reason that I just didn't feel that it's more suitable for us because, well, if it's something happened again due to diabetes, because they could.

[1365] Could you sell your least favorite rental property on top of selling these two and then pay cash for the next one?

[1366] I could, and that's what I wanted to see, is that a smart thing to do to give up those assets that are completely debt -free, and cash willing or it's smarter than borrowing money which is going to add anxiety to your life and it's one less thing to fool with and hassle with and if you want more real estate later save them pay cash you got no mortgage payment yeah that's what I did before you make over 200 grand so here's what I'm not scared about that scenario yeah here's what I do know how long ago did your first husband pass away he passed away it's been five years now five years okay How long have you been together with this guy?

[1367] We're coming up on two.

[1368] Two years, okay.

[1369] However you think you've got it drawn up, you have some, when they pronounce you, Mr. and Mrs., you're going to enter into an angsty season.

[1370] Yes, and that's why I don't want them to make any money moves until it's official.

[1371] Because at the end of the day, my children, above all, that's my main scope.

[1372] Well, but listen, I don't want you to make any right after either.

[1373] Okay.

[1374] I want you to slow down, get married, figure it out for six months or a year.

[1375] Then you'll really know what you can and can't live with.

[1376] But I want y 'all to have as much peace as possible with the knowns before you start buying a house and trying to move and do that and be married and blend a family and all of that stuff.

[1377] It's just going to be messy.

[1378] Go one step at a time.

[1379] If y 'all don't have term life in place, get it.

[1380] today.

[1381] That's going to give you so much peace of mind.

[1382] This is the Ramsey show.

[1383] I'm John Deloney, joined by George Camel.

[1384] All right, today's question of the day comes from Will in Nashville.

[1385] He says, I love smashing pumpkins and Paul Reed Smith guitars.

[1386] Is there something wrong with me?

[1387] I think there's only one answer to that, John.

[1388] Absolutely, yeah.

[1389] Yes.

[1390] Yes.

[1391] No, as Will, he's the best guitarist I know, and I look up to him, and he's out there running the board.

[1392] It's good to see it, William.

[1393] That's John trawling.

[1394] The actual question comes from Adam in Manitoba.

[1395] He said my wife and I moved to Canada a year ago.

[1396] We didn't pay rent for the first six months and bring home seven grand a month.

[1397] We made an agreement to separate our finances and my responsibility was to save money for a new car.

[1398] I didn't pay attention to my expenses and saved nothing.

[1399] I lied to my wife about the amount I had saved and pretended everything was okay.

[1400] After I started listening to your show, I've decided to tell her the truth.

[1401] I feel like I've totally destroyed her trust in me and our future.

[1402] How can I save my marriage and get trust back?

[1403] I usually tell people that your feelings don't tell you the truth.

[1404] But in this case, Adam, your feelings are telling you the truth.

[1405] You did destroy her trust in you and her trust in your future.

[1406] 100 % you did.

[1407] George, this whole situation is a mess.

[1408] Well, started with we made an agreement to separate our finances.

[1409] Oh, it started with we moved to Canada.

[1410] That's true.

[1411] I wasn't going to go there.

[1412] I love my friends in Canada.

[1413] I know.

[1414] I do too.

[1415] Sweet people.

[1416] All right.

[1417] So we moved to Canada and we didn't pay rent for the first six months.

[1418] And they make seven grand a month.

[1419] And they said, all right, you do you, I do me. Here's my job.

[1420] I'm going to save up for the new car.

[1421] You go do this.

[1422] And then he didn't do any of it.

[1423] Which is one reason we tell people to combine finances because it creates trust and accountability and transparency and unity.

[1424] You know, all the things that make a marriage great.

[1425] But instead, he went, you know, I got it.

[1426] I got it.

[1427] I got it.

[1428] and then didn't, and then had a shame spiral, and then could not tell her the truth that he had $0 saved, which also begs the question, where the crap did that money go, Adam?

[1429] What did you spend it on?

[1430] Yeah.

[1431] Because you're going to also have to tell her that part.

[1432] Yes.

[1433] And that might be the hardest part of all.

[1434] It's when you realize you've painted a wall with a lie and you start wallpapering over that lie with other lies, and all of a sudden you are in a pretty thick, padded room here with nowhere to go.

[1435] Here's your path forward, Adam.

[1436] you tell her we have to have a hard conversation and I've made some huge mistakes and I need to be honest with you and then you take a pause and she's going to want to say tell me right now what happens say this is not the time for that we're going to go we're going to meet in 30 minutes at a restaurant we're going to meet in 30 minutes in a park in a neutral location or somewhere in the living room where you have where you don't normally have hard conversations we need a change the environment for this one because this is a before and after conversation.

[1437] Your marriage, if it survives, this will be different.

[1438] And George's question that he raised is key.

[1439] If this happens to me, after I get over the initial shock, I'm going to ask what happened to, what is it, $3 ,500 times six months?

[1440] Where is that money?

[1441] And is it in food?

[1442] Is it in gambling?

[1443] is it in guitars is like what is that money where is it can you get any of it back is it gone all those questions you better have answers for those as you sit there and here's another key George Adam is never going to use the word you every word every sentence is going to start with I did this here's what I did and if you we're not going to do any of that I lied to you I've been deceiving you for months and I'm coming clean because you deserve better.

[1444] Here's what I have done.

[1445] I'm going to lay it out.

[1446] And there is no path forward other than the path of honesty or it's going to make this thing bigger and bigger and bigger.

[1447] And how do you rebuild that trust?

[1448] Well, it's going to take time.

[1449] It takes a moment to destroy it.

[1450] But then it takes this pattern of being trustworthy where you've proven, hey, you know what?

[1451] I put a thousand bucks away.

[1452] We've combined the bank accounts.

[1453] You have full transparency.

[1454] You have a vote.

[1455] I have a vote.

[1456] That's what's going to create that over time.

[1457] But she has to see that you're actually never going to do this again.

[1458] So I often tell couples, George, when this situation happens, any sort of trust violation, the other person who you're asking, hey, I've hurt you and I've lied to you and I've violated your trust.

[1459] I need you to trust me again.

[1460] They get to dictate for a season the parameters for what trust rebuilding is going to look like.

[1461] If X, Y, Z happens, then on the other side of this will be more trust.

[1462] I get to see your phone every day.

[1463] Here it is.

[1464] I get, I want to, track your phone here it is we're going to do an every dollar budget every day every day here you go right you will not carry a debit card for 60 days like whatever we're going to take the internet out of the house if you're struggling pornography i don't care what it is the other person gets to set the what's going to make them feel safe and then we're going to slowly work work that thing back and that's going to be tough tough tough tough tough well you and rachel have been diving into this issue of money and marriage that are inextricably tied and we've got another event coming up this fall that while there may be some heavy things that come out of that, it's a really, really fun weekend.

[1465] It's the funnest weekend of the year.

[1466] And here's the bad news is the fall money of marriage is sold out.

[1467] In October, here in Nashville, it has sold out.

[1468] The rad news is we added another money marriage retreat weekend.

[1469] And this time, we decided to hit it on the nose.

[1470] And it's going to be Valentine's Day 2025.

[1471] Perfect.

[1472] We have rescued you, America, from having to think about what to get your spouse for Valentine's Day.

[1473] This is your ticket to freedom.

[1474] Come to Nashville.

[1475] Money Marriage is one of our most popular events.

[1476] It's a weekend in Nashville.

[1477] You and your spouse get away from life's madness and you can focus on your marriage.

[1478] Two and a half days, me and Rachel, we have expert teachings about communication, sex, strengthening your emotional connection, get on the same page of money, all the stuff that we don't talk about anymore in our culture.

[1479] We just get in a giant room and have fun and talk about it.

[1480] And to say we go there, it goes, it goes...

[1481] There's stuff.

[1482] at this event that I'm like, I'm not sure I should be in the room.

[1483] This is PG -13.

[1484] Yeah, George actually had to walk out.

[1485] He felt uncomfortable.

[1486] You get to ask me and Rachel, real questions.

[1487] If you come to Nashville and don't get your question to answer, it's going to be because you didn't ask it.

[1488] Lots of time for you to connect with me and Rachel.

[1489] And George, I think you'll be there.

[1490] Always.

[1491] You've got all kind of people there.

[1492] And it's Nashville, so you never know who's going to show up in some of the sessions.

[1493] And we throw a pretty wild, wild date night.

[1494] Our live events team puts on experiences that are way beyond the stage content that's kind of the part you really remember I remember we did that dance They threw a prom last year We're not as awkward as we used to be But it was a super It was one of the most amazing Under the C proms In every cringe way possible Which made it so amazing Tickets start at $699 bucks Get yours while early bird pricing It's still happening It's insane That's per couple Yeah So not per ticket per couple That's great And it's half the price of other marriage retreat so it's a good deal and you can save up to 350 bucks right now if you want a VIP level ticket they may be already sold out if they haven't sold out get them go right now man because they go so fast February 13th through 15th 2025 go to ramsysolutions dot com slash events now George I have to ask you this question uh oh I saw you and Whitney snuck in last year at the back of the money marriage and y 'all were taking feverish notes that is so true john i can't believe you saw us from all the way from the stage all the way from the stage i was like is that george or whitney now i did make the mistake of having my wife uh walk out with our baby because i thought this would be a great ending to my budgeting talk and i forgot that babies can't hold up their heads and so i tried to do the lion king thing so i took the baby from whitney i held the baby up and her head just went straight back and uh it was a collective gas yes we're still recovering from that at the camel household i like how you uh gave a so we there when it's your daughter that had the whiplash it's Whitney's no Whitney had nothing to do with this but it really was a great time I told Whitney I was like we just need to attend next year like I'll probably be there speaking about something but I want you to be it the whole time with me because the content is that rich and you really can't find it anywhere else I'll also say this last year there was a surprise where my wife and Rachel Cruz's husband joined us on stage incredible and it got off the rails my wife was disclosing some things that I was not prepared for her to say publicly.

[1495] And same with Winston.

[1496] And I think they're scheduled to be back and then some.

[1497] So it's going to be a fun.

[1498] I feel like this is just going to be a tell -all on Rachel and John.

[1499] Well, the thing is, is that Rachel and I are pretty open about what's going on anyway.

[1500] But then your spouses tell the truth.

[1501] My wife was like, yeah, hold my beer.

[1502] I'll tell you, she doesn't even drink.

[1503] And she was like, yeah.

[1504] Sheila's the entire existence is actually, here's what actually happened.

[1505] Here's the other side of the story, John.

[1506] I remember talking about like, yeah, that one time we had to decide.

[1507] Like, are we still going to stay married.

[1508] And she was like, we've had that conversation like five times.

[1509] And I was like, oh, okay, we're going to tell all of it now.

[1510] That sounds cool.

[1511] February 13th through 15th, 2025.

[1512] Budget for it, make plans, mark it on the calendar, and buy your tickets, dudes.

[1513] She's going to love it.

[1514] This is The Ramsey Show.

[1515] Welcome back.

[1516] This is The Ramsey Show.

[1517] I'm John Deloney, joined by George Campbell.

[1518] Hey, guys, selling the house the Ramsey way makes home ownership a blessing instead of a burden.

[1519] We get a lot of calls about homeownership on the show.

[1520] It can be stressful and if you're not working with a pro, there's a good chance you're going to make a mistake.

[1521] And that's why we have the Ramsey trusted program.

[1522] It's the only way to find an agent you can trust who can keep you on track with what we teach here at Ramsey and get the best offer on your house or find the right house for you, whether you're on the buying side or the selling side.

[1523] So we'll send you some of the top agents in your area that we trust.

[1524] Our team vets them.

[1525] You can review their stats, interview them, and you decide which one you want to work with.

[1526] These Ramsey trusted agents have years of experience.

[1527] They're pros.

[1528] They don't do this part -time on the weekends.

[1529] They didn't just get their license.

[1530] They are go -getters.

[1531] They're going to help you make wise decisions when it comes to pricing and marketing and making or choosing the right offer.

[1532] So head to ramsysolutions .com slash agent and you can find a Ramsey trusted real estate agent for free.

[1533] That's ramsysolutions .com slash agent.

[1534] All right, let's go out to a Harvard bar in Boston, Massachusetts and talk to Kat.

[1535] Hey, Kat, what's up?

[1536] Hey, how are you guys doing?

[1537] I'm sorry, Kat.

[1538] You deserve better than that accent.

[1539] I have a question and a suggestion, which would you like first?

[1540] Ooh, I think suggestion is just more intriguing right now.

[1541] I need to know the suggestion.

[1542] What is it?

[1543] Okay, I keep hearing you advertise the marriage and money event.

[1544] I really think you should host a single and mingling event, maybe like an odd line, speaking.

[1545] Hey, we're 100%.

[1546] We're already, the balls all already rolling on that one, Kat.

[1547] Oh, really?

[1548] Do you want an invite?

[1549] Wait, listen, I give the, I do, and I give the producers permission to give my phone number out to, you know, anyone in my age range.

[1550] I'm going to 100 % assure you, Kat, you do not want that.

[1551] But how about this, Kat, reach out to me. There's a lot of meth and banjos out there, hon. Reach out to me, I'll give you a free ticket to that event, when and if we launch it.

[1552] How's that?

[1553] Awesome.

[1554] Thank you.

[1555] It's on us.

[1556] And here's, it's going to end with an actual wedding.

[1557] I will officiate your wedding at the end.

[1558] And so if you find love over that 72 hours, you're going to leave with a connected budget.

[1559] And John said I can be the ring bear and flower girl.

[1560] Correct.

[1561] That's kind of part of it.

[1562] It's going to be awesome.

[1563] All right.

[1564] Awesome.

[1565] All right, Kat.

[1566] Okay, very nitty -gritty logistical question.

[1567] I get paid every other week, 26 paychecks a year.

[1568] What do you advise for budgeting purposes?

[1569] I keep starting and kind of getting stuck.

[1570] Do I just figure 24 paychecks and have the extra two is flush?

[1571] do I do 26 divided by 12 and then my second question is for yearly things like once a year I want to spend a thousand dollars on you know family photo do I just put money you know every month towards that for a family photo yeah is this like 300 bucks what are we talking my family's not that good look oh no no no pick anything I don't know a thousand dollars every two years for tech upgrade for a guitar gotcha gotcha got I heard guitar.

[1572] Now we're in John's word.

[1573] I approve that expenditure.

[1574] John has never gotten his family together all at once smiling.

[1575] It's a very difficult thing to do with shoes on.

[1576] My wife is stunning and my kids are beautiful.

[1577] I tend to ruin photos.

[1578] That's good.

[1579] Every year we get a photo taken in the photographer's like, you know what, I'm not even going to charge you for this one?

[1580] Because your face, right?

[1581] All right, so here we go, George.

[1582] Let's start with the irregular 26 paychecks versus 24 because this is a common conundrum people face that get paid biweekly.

[1583] meaning if you get one every two weeks is different than if you get paid twice a month, as you know.

[1584] So here's what you need to focus on.

[1585] You're going to get at least two paychecks a month, right?

[1586] Right.

[1587] So focus on the upcoming two week period.

[1588] So let's say you get paid on the 10th and the 24th.

[1589] Well, that 24th check has to float you until the next check that comes in on the 6th.

[1590] And so what you need to do in your budget is look at all of your expenses and when they're going to actually debit from your account and make sure that you have enough money.

[1591] Now, every dollar makes this easy with their paycheck planning tool, so I'm going to gift you the premium version that has that feature that's going to really help with that.

[1592] But all you need to do is focus on an upcoming two -week period to make sure that you can cover the remaining expenses until the next check.

[1593] And like you mentioned, if you have three paychecks, look at the upcoming months' expenses, and whatever's left after covering those expenses, anything extra can go toward your next baby step goal.

[1594] Okay.

[1595] Now, if you can learn to just live off of the two checks a month, then the third one becomes, it feels like a bonus emotionally.

[1596] And so learn to live on less than you make and throw that as a, quote, bonus toward your financial goal.

[1597] Sounds good.

[1598] And as far as the sinking funds you mentioned, hey, I got a $300 family photo thing coming up this fall.

[1599] You can set up a sinking fund and move, you know, we're going to move $30 a month for $300 expense.

[1600] Some people like to do it that way.

[1601] Some people just know what's coming up and they adjust other expenses.

[1602] so they know, hey, I got to put away $300 bucks.

[1603] If it's more than you can stomach out of a single paycheck, I would set up a sinking fund.

[1604] That's going to make it easier for you and less stressful, and it's not going to throw you off when that expense comes.

[1605] All right, Kat.

[1606] That was Nerdville.

[1607] I heard you go, okay, and you lost it.

[1608] It wasn't not satisfactory to Kat.

[1609] No, it was great.

[1610] Where did you lose them?

[1611] No, I'm on board.

[1612] I just keep starting.

[1613] I've tried not the premium version of that, but I've tried different apps and just you haven't tried every dollar?

[1614] I have not the premium version.

[1615] So thank you for that subscription.

[1616] Yes, your bank transactions will come in so you can just drag them to the right category.

[1617] The paycheck planning tool is going to really help you figure out.

[1618] Do you have a risk of overspending because you have too many bills that are hitting before the next paycheck?

[1619] So hang on the line and Kelly's going to pick up.

[1620] We're going to gift you a year of every dollar premium to help with that.

[1621] And you call us back if we have any questions.

[1622] And best of luck on your journey to finding a mate.

[1623] Man, you took that sideways, George.

[1624] And Kat, one more thing.

[1625] I think you know as well as we do.

[1626] This is less about which category the money goes in and that extra check.

[1627] And it's more, you just have to bite the bullet and do this for 90 days for three months.

[1628] Just grit your teeth and budget for 90 days.

[1629] And you're going to find it gets easier and easier as you walk that path.

[1630] keep getting on and then quitting and then a thing came and I just quit is always going to feel like you're just getting jerked around.

[1631] That's true.

[1632] All right, let's roll out to Buffalo, New York.

[1633] As a Houston Oiler fan, the Buffalo bills ruined my childhood, but I'm glad to talk to Ryan.

[1634] What's up, Ryan?

[1635] Hey, Dr. John.

[1636] How you doing?

[1637] Good, man. What's up?

[1638] Well, I got a question.

[1639] I'm 35.

[1640] I just started the baby steps back in December.

[1641] I've had the book for a long time.

[1642] They told them money makeover and found it.

[1643] So I'm, uh, you know, doing the baby steps and everything.

[1644] And, you know, so I'm going gazelle intense.

[1645] I already paid off three, uh, deaths I already had.

[1646] And I'm on my last one, my car.

[1647] And, um, so, uh, I'm legally separated.

[1648] I got legally separated last year for my wife.

[1649] And, uh, I got a three year old daughter.

[1650] And, um, I was just wondering, I'm, um, you know, I'm now, I'm a Christian and I'm trying to, you know, do the right thing.

[1651] And I have a girlfriend who is also a Christian.

[1652] We go to church together and everything.

[1653] I'm trying to figure out, you know, it's going to cost me another $2 ,000 to get the divorce done.

[1654] You know, I kind of feel like I'm living in sin a little bit.

[1655] So trying to see if it's, you know, I don't want to lose the gazelle intensity, you know, by paying for this divorce.

[1656] So I'm trying to see.

[1657] Bro, you're living in fantasy world, dude.

[1658] I'm a Christian too.

[1659] Let's set that aside for a second.

[1660] you're not dealing with reality your marriage is over and did you pull the trigger did she uh she did but it was mutual it was you know i had mutual aspects to it's that it's not i'm not holding on to anything do you know what i mean you are because you haven't spent the two thousand dollars to end this this uh marriage and you've already started dating somebody else right so it's it's not a matter of like i don't want to lose my gazelle intensity bro Oh, you are in the jaws of the lion right now.

[1661] Right.

[1662] Okay.

[1663] And you knew that.

[1664] Yeah.

[1665] Whether it's $2 ,000 or $200, I think there's a lot of emotions and pain underneath this.

[1666] What's the situation with your daughter?

[1667] I have custody half and half with her.

[1668] Okay.

[1669] How much money do you have in the bank?

[1670] Altogether liquid probably.

[1671] Well, I got $1 ,500, my emergency fund.

[1672] I got $1 ,400 set aside for actual, for doing the divorce.

[1673] So I have money set aside for it.

[1674] It's just...

[1675] Do it on Monday.

[1676] Pay the $2 ,000 and be done.

[1677] And then move on with your last debt.

[1678] Be done.

[1679] And then be done.

[1680] And by the way, since this was mutual, no complaining, no whining, this is what you signed up for.

[1681] For whatever reason, this is what you signed up for.

[1682] See it all the way through.

[1683] Do it the right way.

[1684] Get the right paperwork.

[1685] And then move on with your life.

[1686] This is The Ramsey Show.

[1687] Today's scripture of the day is Romans 12 -9.

[1688] Let love be genuine.

[1689] Abhor what is evil and hold fast to what is good.

[1690] The great Bob Marley says, Spend life with who makes you happy, not who you have to impress.

[1691] So I spend time of you, George, make me happy.

[1692] Three hours a day.

[1693] Keeps the doctor away.

[1694] I don't feel like I have to impress you because I can't.

[1695] Too bad because I'm impressed.

[1696] Oh, I like that.

[1697] That was a good one.

[1698] All right, let's go out to the 512, Austin, Texas and talk to Jennifer.

[1699] Hey, Jennifer, what's up?

[1700] Hi, thank you so much for taking my call.

[1701] I really appreciate it.

[1702] You got it.

[1703] Thanks for calling.

[1704] What's going on?

[1705] Okay, so I have a question that is a moral and a financial dilemma.

[1706] All right, bring it on.

[1707] Sorry, I'm already getting emotional.

[1708] Do me a huge favor.

[1709] Take a humongous deep breath and hold it for a count of three, okay?

[1710] One, two, all right, let it out.

[1711] Drop your shoulders all the way down.

[1712] Okay, thank you.

[1713] All right, same team.

[1714] I just found all of you guys about three weeks ago, so I'm so, so, so very grateful.

[1715] Yes, we're glad you're with us.

[1716] We'll send you the Kool -Aid in the mail, and you can drink it later on.

[1717] I will.

[1718] I'm drinking all the Kool -Lade already.

[1719] Perfect.

[1720] Okay, so my question is regarding what my role.

[1721] responsibility is to my mother.

[1722] I'm 60.

[1723] I used to have a lot of success in my life.

[1724] I was debt -free for like 20 years and then a lot of things happened and my financial and health situation went downhill.

[1725] So I'm just finished baby seven -one.

[1726] So I don't have the funds to help my mom out right now and it's killing me. My parents never made any financial plans whatsoever.

[1727] They spent every penny and more than they ever had.

[1728] My dad died in 2020.

[1729] My mom had a little bit of life insurance, but that's gone.

[1730] She has $2 ,400 in Social Security every month, but she won't live in a, I'm going to change her words, but I'm going to say a dumpy apartment.

[1731] So they have nothing.

[1732] There's no, there's no home.

[1733] There's no nothing.

[1734] She just signed or re -signed a lease on her apartment that went up to $2 ,000 a month.

[1735] And she doesn't really seem to be too concerned about her financial situation.

[1736] And I'm spending all day, every day, so anxious.

[1737] and to the point where I think I'm going to have a heart attack.

[1738] Hey, Jennifer, Jennifer.

[1739] Yes.

[1740] You are.

[1741] Stop.

[1742] Do me a favor.

[1743] Take both of your hands.

[1744] I want you to clench them as tight as you can.

[1745] Squeeze them real, real tight.

[1746] Okay?

[1747] Are you still squeezing them?

[1748] Yes.

[1749] Keep squeezing them.

[1750] Now open them up.

[1751] Listen to me carefully.

[1752] Okay.

[1753] I'm not going to hear any language.

[1754] about how you're not successful right now.

[1755] Okay.

[1756] Because you did pretty good financially, but success is way bigger than a stupid number.

[1757] And when you grow up in a house of chaos, often, we look for a number to validate that we have some value because we should have got that from our mom and our dad, and we didn't.

[1758] And then whatever happened, you've been to hell and back, but whatever happened took that number away that you had outsourced your value to.

[1759] And what I'm hearing on the phone right now is an absolute gangster of a 60 -year -old who has scratched and clawed her way back.

[1760] Right?

[1761] Right?

[1762] Yes.

[1763] Yeah, so when I hear any more of this talk about I used to be successful.

[1764] Nonsense.

[1765] I know a lot of rich people that I wouldn't trade places with for anything.

[1766] And nobody talks to our friend Jennifer that way, by the way, especially Jennifer.

[1767] Yeah, especially Jennifer.

[1768] All right, here is the fortunate and unfortunate predicament you find yourself in, okay?

[1769] Okay.

[1770] And I'm going to say this.

[1771] in a really stark way because I don't have a ton of time but I my goal here is not to poke my finger in your wound my goal here is to set you free okay so you don't have any money right to -da any any wish any desire to help is a fantasy because you've been on your own since you were nine right seven seven emotionally yeah that's right and so you have no margin you've got no room to move around you're 60 years old scratching a claw on your way back yes i think what you feel that sense of guilt you've been carrying your mom's emotional regulation for her entire life and your entire life and my dad's and you see the train wreck financially the math problem that's coming at your mom 100 miles an hour and you're trying to solve this one too and you can't you've been doing it for 53 years.

[1772] Can't solve this one.

[1773] And the hardest thing in the...

[1774] Do what?

[1775] I don't know what to do, and I don't know what my biblical obligation is.

[1776] I mean, what can you do?

[1777] She's choosing to reject reality.

[1778] She's rejecting you.

[1779] And she doesn't care nearly as much as you do.

[1780] And you know that.

[1781] If someone else cares more than you do, you can't help them.

[1782] Like, if John's morbidly obese and he wants to shove his face with people, and I really want John to be healthy.

[1783] I can't do anything to fix John.

[1784] He has to want to fix John.

[1785] Right, right.

[1786] I can give him all the supplements in the world and all the workout programs, but if you did that for your mom, it wouldn't change a thing.

[1787] And it wouldn't, George would not have a faith -based moral obligation to hit me in the face every time I was going to eat.

[1788] You know what I'm saying?

[1789] Like, we can just keep going down the road with this metaphor, but your mom has looked at you.

[1790] Listen, behavior is a language Your mom has told you I do not want your financial help I don't need your financial help I'm just fine You do you Boo I added that part Right It might get to the point where she goes I can't pay my bills And where she gets stressed out enough To where she decides to move out And find a cheaper apartment Or they kick her out Or she gets evicted Because she stops paying rent Because her rent is two grand a month, and she makes $2 ,400 a month.

[1791] And so, Jennifer, here's where you can spend your energy wisely, okay?

[1792] Okay.

[1793] Worrying solves nothing.

[1794] I know.

[1795] So listen, every time you worry, hold on.

[1796] I know it's easy to say.

[1797] I've been there, too.

[1798] I'm a chief ruminator.

[1799] I'm pretty good at it.

[1800] I carry something in my bag.

[1801] It's right here under the desk, and I carry it with me 24 -7 -365, and I do this for a living, okay?

[1802] When I start spinning out, I quickly write down.

[1803] what I'm worried about, and then I make a quick list of what I can control and what I can't.

[1804] And often the things I can't control, they break my heart, and I spend time being sad for me. Okay?

[1805] And then I get after the things I can control.

[1806] Here's what you can control.

[1807] You know there will come a day when your mom has to move in with you.

[1808] You know that's coming.

[1809] Uh -uh.

[1810] No, okay.

[1811] Or, hold on.

[1812] Or you know right now, my mom's never moving in with me. Way worse off than I am right now.

[1813] She has no boundaries.

[1814] There you go.

[1815] Hold on.

[1816] There you go.

[1817] It will kill me. You're free.

[1818] You're free.

[1819] Okay.

[1820] I'm sorry.

[1821] Don't pay.

[1822] I have a lot of guilt about it.

[1823] I know you got guilt.

[1824] Here's what grief is.

[1825] Grief is the gap between what I really wanted to happen and what actually has happened.

[1826] Okay.

[1827] I'm just sad.

[1828] You're sad.

[1829] It's okay.

[1830] You should be.

[1831] shouldn't be this way and here we are so i want you to make that list of the things you can control in this situation you can be kind to your mom when she starts talking about money you can say hey mom i don't want to talk about money you've made it really clear you don't want to have this conversation with me that's fine you can go through financial peace university because george and i are going to send it to you as our gift you can get your budget and order and george and i are going to send you a a year of the premium version of every dollar.

[1832] You can read my book, building a non -anxious life that I'm going to send you for free, to give you a roadmap to peace, and you can read George's book, breaking free from broke.

[1833] So at 60, this never happens again, okay?

[1834] We're going to give you some resources, and we're going to take care of you, and you call us any time.

[1835] But by all accounts, faith -based, morally, psychologically, emotionally, you're a great daughter, and you are free.

[1836] Take care of you.

[1837] This is The Ramsey Show.

[1838] Hey folks, Dave here.

[1839] You want to hear even more life -changing content from Ramsey?

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