Normal Sucks! You Don’t Want To Be Normal

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[1] It's the Ramsey Show.

[2] We help people.

[3] Build wealth, do work that they love, and create actual amazing relationships.

[4] Rachel Cruz, Ramsey personality, number one bestselling author, co -host of the Smart Money Happy Hour, insanely popular podcast on the Ramsey Networks, and my daughter, she's my co -host today.

[5] The phone number here, if you want to talk about your life and your money, the phone number is triple 8 -8 -25 -5 -2 -2 -2 -5.

[6] Jennifer starts this hour in Baltimore.

[7] Hi, Jennifer, how are you?

[8] Hi, I'm doing well.

[9] Thanks for taking my call.

[10] Sure.

[11] What's up?

[12] So I am actually calling on somebody else's behalf, somebody who I think might need some help, but maybe doesn't think that they do.

[13] So my father is actually going to be inheriting close to a million dollars in the next couple months.

[14] And as I've gotten older and starting to ask more pointed questions, realizing he really hasn't planned for his retirement.

[15] He kind of just assumed he'd be getting enough to retire.

[16] And now says, you know, obviously a million dollars isn't as much as he thought.

[17] He's not going to be able to live off that.

[18] And I've just seen a couple generations before me really kind of mismanaged money that they've inherited and I'm hoping to kind of do something different.

[19] That you're going to do something different or he is?

[20] He says he's open to my recommendation.

[21] How old is he, Jennifer?

[22] He's 65, 67.

[23] Okay.

[24] Okay.

[25] And so is he got a bunch of debt?

[26] So I've found out that he has a he lock out on the house for about $100 ,000.

[27] He was contributing to 401K for a while while his employer was matching, and when they stopped matching, he stopped contributing.

[28] He doesn't have a Roth IRA.

[29] He's got some dividends and some, like, stock money that he does receive quarterly, and he's got gold squirled away.

[30] But he says, you know, financial planners are parasites and high -yield savings accounts are scans.

[31] And so, you know, he's only now looking into putting things in a trust and maybe getting life insurance and getting a will done.

[32] But he really kind of has just been banking on getting money.

[33] Was he banking on this money from this inheritance?

[34] Like was it from a parent and he was just waiting or what was that?

[35] So I waited to 65 years old before a win.

[36] Yeah.

[37] So when my great -grandmother passed, she had a baby.

[38] about $24 million in her estate.

[39] And that was unfortunately embezzled, gambled away a lot by one of my great -uncles.

[40] So it also wasn't in a trust.

[41] So the government took half.

[42] And when my grandparents were getting older, they decided their philosophy was the government's just going to take most of it.

[43] So we want to try to get rid of it.

[44] So they did kind of sporadic payouts.

[45] I mean, they were very generous in covering health care expenses for myself, for all of my cousins, paid for college for their children.

[46] So what do you think the best thing to happen today is for your dad?

[47] I want him to get rid of the HELOC, and I want him to look into investing property or some advice of where he could be putting money other than just, You know, he took a $100 ,000, he lock out of the house and put it into the stock market.

[48] And that's where the dividends came from.

[49] Yes.

[50] And so, you know, I've been trying to work with my sister.

[51] Okay.

[52] So here's the thing.

[53] Number one, I don't think this is going to work.

[54] Okay.

[55] Your dad has a 40 -year period of sitting on his cynical hands doing nothing and waiting on someone else to spoon.

[56] feed him the fact at 65 years old he's going to jump up and grow a new brain that's pretty wishful thinking yeah okay i wish it wasn't true but i'm 63 and the chance of me growing a new brain's pretty low i'm pretty set in my ways so whatever screwed up about old dave's probably going to stick that way so um it's just hard to teach old dog new tricks i'm one of them and um you can ask the one sitting next to me she's tried she's tried to teach me some new tricks and i hadn't learned a one.

[57] I just give suggestions.

[58] I know.

[59] Yeah, you do.

[60] And that's what Jennifer's trying to do.

[61] Give suggestions.

[62] No, I know.

[63] But Jennifer, I hear your heart and I really do appreciate it.

[64] But the reality is, our parents are set in their ways.

[65] I'm not picking on your dad.

[66] I'm probably just like him.

[67] I've got the spiritual gift of cynicism too.

[68] But I mean, these people are all parasites and scam artists.

[69] No, they're not.

[70] That's a dumb butt statement.

[71] Okay.

[72] They're not all parasites and scam artists.

[73] Now, some financial people are goobers, but there's some goobers in almost any profession, whatever profession he came out of, there's a crook or two hanging out there too.

[74] So, but there's good people in the financial world that can sit down and what he needs is someone to teach him from the financial world, like a good smart vester pro, what's available, and what his job is as the manager of a million dollars of God's money.

[75] You are now that you are now the manager of God's money.

[76] Your job is to manage it well.

[77] and so get the stupid gold sold pay off the H you pay off the home equity loan immediately learn to live on a budget go be a productive citizen create something instead of sit around waiting on someone else talk about parasites waiting on someone else to feed you waiting on waiting on mom and dad's dad gum inheritance money to come in bless his heart i mean i feel sorry for him he really needs he's missed out on so much good that life had for him and i hope for the next 20 years before he does.

[78] He's got some good coming to him where he gets the opportunity to serve others and create something and contribute to society and walk with the dignity that that brings.

[79] That's what I want for him.

[80] So, but I, and that's what you want for him.

[81] My problem is, I don't know that he said he's willing to take your input until you tell him something he doesn't like.

[82] Mm -hmm.

[83] Am I wrong?

[84] Um, no. And what's been really frustrating is trying to give him advice while stroking his ego.

[85] Yeah, no, I'm not going to stroke his ego.

[86] I'm not going to do it.

[87] So you can tell.

[88] So the thing is this, what I want to help you with is what you're attempting to do is very kind and very noble, and it is the proper thing to do.

[89] But I want to give you realistic expectations because I don't want you to come away from this disappointed that you couldn't do it, because I'm going to give you a 5 % chance you pull this off because it is you're trying to change other people and until they really want to change you can't do it i do it for a living and i have had to learn that i don't answer questions that aren't asked when you ask a question i'm going to answer it because that's my duty but i'm not going to just walk up to people and start preaching at them because they don't do nothing they just look at you like you like you know and do nothing so i mean like a friend of mine leased a car drove it up in front of my house the other day and he knows i think leasing cars are stupid you know and he drove it up in front of my house so what am i going to do go, you're stupid.

[90] No, I said, you know, I didn't say that.

[91] I said, great car.

[92] He didn't ask my opinion, right?

[93] He just brought his car over to show it to me. So great car.

[94] But I think Jennifer, a goal would be if he could sit down with a third party, a Smartbuster Pro, and at least just have an initial meeting to see his options.

[95] They're there to teach you not to do it for you.

[96] That would be a good goal.

[97] But if you can get them there and then what he chooses to do after, I don't know, but that's your first step.

[98] Go to Ramsey Solutions .com, click on SmartVester.

[99] They can help guide him to get his will done.

[100] He's got to get that done.

[101] It's going to give the got.

[102] Talk about giving the government money.

[103] Try not doing a will.

[104] Oh my gosh.

[105] You let the government be in control of it.

[106] No. But please, honey, don't be disappointed if this doesn't all work now.

[107] This is the Ramsey show.

[108] Buying your first home is a big deal and sets the stage for your financial success.

[109] So work with a mortgage advisor you trust, not just some random website.

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[112] Learn more at Churchillmortgage .com.

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[116] 1749, Mallory Lane, Suite 100.

[117] Brentwood, Tennessee, 37027.

[118] Well, you know what happens after the 15th of April?

[119] The worst day ever.

[120] You know what happens the next day?

[121] Awesome stuff.

[122] Anything's better than the 15th of April.

[123] On the 16th of April, on the 16th of April.

[124] The next day, Rachel's new book will come out.

[125] So you've got to have a little celebration after tax season.

[126] I'm glad for where I am, a new book on gratitude for your kiddos.

[127] And Lauren did a great job with these illustrations.

[128] Yes, Lauren Gallegos, shout up to her.

[129] We love her.

[130] And she's just sweet as she can be anyway.

[131] But her, her illustrations are just amazing.

[132] I mean, this kid.

[133] And so this is all about gratitude.

[134] The other one was about contentment.

[135] I'm glad for what I I'm glad this home home is where the heart is that's right yeah so when I was writing it I was like how do you teach you because contentment gratitude generosity are like three principles that are really important for me to teach my kids and just kind of that that emotional side of money and when you think about gratitude with kids I'm like you know of course like saying thank you and manners like all of that is important but for these little ones I'm like when you can start to grasp the things that that can't be taken away from you you know this idea of like the love of your family your home not just your house but the home, the environment, when you can start there and that be the foundation at which they learn gratitude, I think is sweet.

[136] So the little animals, they go on an adventure to learn that really where they belong is where they were.

[137] And God specifically has put them in a place for a certain time.

[138] And the more grateful you are, the more your heart grows is the last, it's the last little sentence of the book.

[139] But it's really sweet.

[140] It's a great one.

[141] So I hope you guys enjoy it.

[142] It comes out a week from now.

[143] And you're going to do a little book tour with it, right?

[144] Yes.

[145] You're going to do some signings, a little book reading.

[146] Yeah, so next week I'm hitting the road.

[147] So I'll do some, I'll be in New York doing some media next Tuesday a week from now.

[148] And then fly to Phoenix.

[149] So I'll be in Phoenix.

[150] You have the, read those off.

[151] Phoenix at Desert Ridge, Barnes & Noble, from 1 to 2 in the afternoon, doing a signing.

[152] On Wednesday.

[153] You're going to read the book and then do a signing for the kiddos.

[154] And then over to L .A. on the 18th from 7 .8 p .m. at the Barnes & Noble at the Grove.

[155] Oh, that's a good store.

[156] I've been to most, I've been all these stores.

[157] Okay, and Dallas, Lincoln Park, from 1 to 2 p .m., another good store, Barnes & Noble.

[158] All these are Barnes & Noble's.

[159] Atlanta at Mansell Crossing.

[160] Really?

[161] That's cool.

[162] 426.

[163] You'll be there.

[164] That's the next week.

[165] Yep, yep.

[166] And that's from 1 to 2 p .m. So, book tours are kind of, so we used to go around and do 40 cities and do signings and do media in every city and all this when we launch a book.

[167] And they're kind of out of vogue.

[168] Number one, there's not many bookstores left.

[169] they're just about gone.

[170] Number two, there's a lot of the local media is gone.

[171] It's dried up.

[172] And so that methodology of launching and marketing a book and going out there is gone.

[173] But you're kind of just doing this almost for fun.

[174] Yes.

[175] Well, I wanted to.

[176] I wanted to with the first one.

[177] And so the way timing worked out with holidays didn't.

[178] So when this one came out, I was like, I really do.

[179] I want to go, yeah, and be with people and be with your kids.

[180] So make sure to do that.

[181] And you can still pre -order for the next week.

[182] And if you do that, you'll actually get a link.

[183] I'm going to do a story time via Zoom.

[184] at the end of April for everyone that pre -orders.

[185] So at 7 o 'clock, I'll do a big reading.

[186] My kids will be there and all of it.

[187] So you can get that link if you pre -order.

[188] And so you can go to Rachelcruise .com for that.

[189] Well, spoiler alert, I've already been reading it to the grandkids, and they love it.

[190] So particularly the Daniel's little boy, he's like, Papa Dave, you've got to read.

[191] Papa Dave, you've got to read.

[192] And we know that, I mean, we know all the data.

[193] Parents that read, kids that get read to, their IQs go up, their EQs go up.

[194] They are most likely going to be readers and writers, and people that read, you know, when we're interviewing somebody for a leadership position at Ramsey, we ask what books they've read because there are no real leaders that aren't readers.

[195] So you've got to be constantly growing, and the only way to do this is be feeding your brain.

[196] And so, I mean, we know all the data on this and it starts at this age.

[197] It starts with the one.

[198] And it's a short book, parents, so you're welcome for that, too, because I hate the bedtime stories.

[199] It's time to get a bad.

[200] So it's short.

[201] I mean, they can, how is it that at four, they already know which of the Dr. Zeus's is forever long?

[202] And you can't skip a page because then they want it.

[203] I do not like green eggs and ham, Sam I am.

[204] I'm just saying, all right.

[205] Chris is with us.

[206] Chris is in Memphis, Tennessee.

[207] Hi, Chris.

[208] Welcome to the Ramsey show.

[209] Hey, good, good almost afternoon, y 'all.

[210] Yeah, it is.

[211] How can we out?

[212] Hey, so my wife and I just found out that we are expecting our second child.

[213] We are overjoyed at this.

[214] We have a two -year -old, a little over a few -year -old.

[215] Awesomeness.

[216] And we've also just started getting our act together financially.

[217] We've been debt -free actually two times in our four -year marriage, and apparently learned nothing.

[218] And so we're finally at a point.

[219] I've been binge -watching you guys.

[220] Shout out to the YouTube moderators.

[221] I always love seeing the comments there and their response.

[222] but my question is relative to, so we're in Baby Step 2, we have $1 ,000, we're attacking our credit card debt.

[223] We have about $42 ,000 of total debt, including student loans, credit cards, and a jeep that you're probably going to tell me to sell.

[224] But I'm kind of confused about the stork mode.

[225] We still have pretty much everything from our first child.

[226] my wife plans on taking three to six months off to be home with both of our kids she's a nurse I work in the automotive industry and I guess my question is when should I pause attacking our debt like crazy and start saving up for the uncertainty of having a child now right now yeah push pause on the whole total money makeover thing and pile up cash.

[227] So here's the thing.

[228] How much cash can you pile up in nine months?

[229] Um, if we stop paying off debt, probably 12 to 14 ,000.

[230] Okay.

[231] So 15 ,000 bucks is in the account because you are going to stop paying off debt.

[232] If you follow what we tell you to do.

[233] Um, and baby comes healthy, no problem.

[234] Insurance covers where it's supposed to cover.

[235] Mama's healthy.

[236] No problem.

[237] They come home from the hospital.

[238] Three days later, you clean out that account and pay it down.

[239] down on the debt.

[240] The amount that you lost by doing that is really close to zero.

[241] You lost no traction.

[242] You will be in exactly the same place 10 months from now if you pay down on the debt by $15 ,000 or if you put $15 ,000 in the account and then pay down on the debt.

[243] There's really, I mean, the only difference would be a little bit of interest on the debt that you'd pay during that nine months, but it's negligible.

[244] It's less than $40 or $50.

[245] Okay.

[246] So we're not really playing.

[247] And what that.

[248] that 15 ,000 gives you is peace of mind.

[249] What it gives her is peace of mind.

[250] Because, you know, what we want to concentrate on is the beauty and the elegance of the birth and another child coming, not be distracted by any money crap.

[251] Like if there's a little hiccup of some kind, you know, think about it.

[252] You got the money.

[253] Yeah, Chris, how much you guys make a year?

[254] total this year we're on track to be right under a hundred okay and how much was the jeep when you were like oh the jeep you're going to tell me to sell it but how much is that um it's worth about 20 the remaining loan balance on it is 11 yeah that's not necessarily selling it if you're making a hundred no yeah you're fine well i was going to say if there was like one big move you wanted to do if it was at a point where that car payment was so exhausting and you could sell it and make some money on it right or something like that if there was a situation there.

[255] I would be okay if you did that.

[256] But just in general, just pausing and having cash in the bank during this is, yeah.

[257] Let me fast forward 10 months, okay?

[258] You save 15 ,000, baby's home.

[259] You pay off 15 ,000 in debt.

[260] What's going to keep you on track this time?

[261] My wife and I really looking further than six months in the future.

[262] We're buying, we've been living in a inherited home.

[263] that we're actually starting to look towards purchasing from her parents.

[264] And looking at that has made us take a much longer perspective on everything.

[265] What do you do in the automotive industry?

[266] I work as a program manager.

[267] I connect suppliers with warehouses across the country to help them get their parts into parts stores and onto your car.

[268] Okay.

[269] All right.

[270] Are you 25?

[271] I'm 29 Okay All right Cool All right Because now's the time Dude You don't get to Restart this crap Six times and go win You need to You need to play through this time Yeah For the sake of this cat And hold on the line Chris Austin will pick up And I'll give you My new kids book I'm glad for where I am And I'm glad for what I have I'll give you both For the little ones We're gonna give you a We're excited I want you to go through that I want you to play through this time I want you to finish Finish well my man Finish well.

[272] This show is sponsored by BetterHelp.

[273] Hey good folks, the back -to -school madness is upon us.

[274] It's hitting us right now.

[275] We got travel and work and all these forms to fill out now and sports to travel to and on and on.

[276] My family's schedule is so packed and we haven't even begun talking about things like exercise and date nights and counseling and church and home projects.

[277] And those are the things that make our life even worth living.

[278] Here's what I've learned.

[279] When it comes to taking care of me, I have to put on my oxygen mask first.

[280] And that means that I have to do the things that keep me well and whole.

[281] And I know that you have to do those same things too.

[282] So don't skip the things that matter to you, including regular exercise, hanging out with your friends and regular therapy appointments.

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[292] Rachel Cruz, Ramsey Personality, number one, bestselling author is my co -host today.

[293] Victoria is with us in Springfield.

[294] Hey, Victoria, how are you?

[295] I'm well, how are you?

[296] Better than I deserve.

[297] What's up?

[298] Well, I was calling because I'm curious to find out how I can get my name off of my parent's debt.

[299] How did your name get on your parents' debt?

[300] So apparently when we were younger, they put my and my brother's names on their credit cards to build credit, which at the time they had been a good idea.

[301] No, it wasn't.

[302] It was called identity theft.

[303] Yeah, they've been overspending a lot, and that's reflecting on my credit score.

[304] And then it was about two years ago.

[305] We've been timeshare owners for a very long time, and about two years ago, they added my brother and I, as owners, but we have no idea in terms of like what to do with this time share and it's kind of becoming a big financial headache for the family.

[306] And so I kind of want out because to me it's not worth all the arguments and the financial stress that it's causing.

[307] Yeah, this is a, it's something that we're seeing more and more our parents.

[308] So just as a warning for parents out there that this is a trend that is going on, that people are doing this.

[309] They're putting their kids on their debt or on their credit card specifically thinking oh yeah we're going to build up their credit and then this is what ends up happening Victoria is that you get the the brunt end of it so at that end I'm like have you talked to them about them taking your name off of the credit card specifically the timeshare will be more complicated yeah so we've thought it up to them because now it's to the point where like my brother and sister -in -law can't buy another house because their debt to income ratio is affected by their credit card debt, like my parents' credit card debt.

[310] So it's kind of been a family discretion.

[311] And so my parents moved their credit or the debt that they had on one credit card to another credit card that has a zero percent interest and does not have our names on it.

[312] And then they need to close that other account.

[313] Exactly.

[314] And that gets your names off of it.

[315] I think they still owe a little bit more on that.

[316] Pay it off and close the account.

[317] That gets your name off of it.

[318] Yeah.

[319] You guys are like being Midwestern sweet people.

[320] Hillbillies would have already like punched somebody.

[321] This is just not okay.

[322] You should be angry.

[323] Yeah, it's one of the things where it's caused a lot of like family fights.

[324] Yeah.

[325] You know, just because we're, I'm new to the Ramsey method.

[326] It's not the Ramsey method.

[327] It's called illegal.

[328] It's criminal fraud.

[329] Okay?

[330] I mean, it's, when you add somebody else's name to a legal document without having a power of attorney to do so, that's called criminal fraud.

[331] I mean, it's illegal.

[332] It's like, serious.

[333] You don't just, God, man. Well, people are doing, I mean, they're.

[334] I know people are doing it.

[335] Yeah, but it's illegal as heck, man. Well, when you put their name as a minor specifically on it.

[336] It's illegal.

[337] Well, they're not taking it and opening it solely in their name.

[338] But the point is, is that it's affecting Victoria, obviously, in all of it.

[339] It's straight up, stupid.

[340] So, I mean, yeah, so Victoria, I mean, that's the answer is for them to pay it off, close the account.

[341] But then when you get into the - And then, you know, call and yell at the timeshare company and go, I did not give you permission to put, no one has permission to put my name on there.

[342] And if you don't take my name off of there in like 36 seconds, my attorney is going to punch your lights out.

[343] I mean, you need to get up in some people's grill.

[344] Yeah, because I want my name off of it.

[345] Listen, let me tell you, a timeshare is a legalized fraud.

[346] It's a horrible product.

[347] And so your parents are such wonderful people that they signed their kids up for two of the worst financial products on the planet.

[348] Time shares and credit cards.

[349] God, what kind of parents are these?

[350] Well, she can't control the parents.

[351] I know.

[352] I'm not yelling at her.

[353] I'm just saying these guys, man. So if I'm you, I'm going for the juggler on this.

[354] I mean, you need to get the timeshare people on the line and ring them out.

[355] You do not have my signature.

[356] I am not responsible.

[357] And if you don't take my name off of this, I'm going to own your little company.

[358] Because that's true, Victoria, right?

[359] You didn't sign your name.

[360] You're not liable.

[361] It's identity theft.

[362] I'm double checking that she didn't, that they weren't at Christmas.

[363] And the parents were like, here, sign this.

[364] And she forgot about it or realized that.

[365] I was just double checking.

[366] You didn't sign anything, right, Victoria?

[367] No, the credit cards they put me on.

[368] The timeshare, I did sign two years ago.

[369] Because we have no knowledge.

[370] There we go.

[371] It's okay.

[372] You can figure out how to get my name out of it.

[373] Exactly.

[374] So, helper, how do you?

[375] How does she get her?

[376] How does she get out of it?

[377] I have no idea.

[378] I mean, you signed up for a timeshare.

[379] How do you get out of a timeshare?

[380] You can't.

[381] You're stuck in a thicket of briars.

[382] I mean, if the family can talk the timeshare company into retitling this, I'll be shocked.

[383] But, oh, God.

[384] I mean, how do you get?

[385] if you call me up to say I just bought a time share I would go well that was really a ridiculously dumb activity so uh which is you know and now how do I get out of it you they're almost impossible to get out of they're just horrible it's a it's a grotesque industry yeah and they they feed on the week and um oh um I honestly don't know how to tell you other than hire an attorney and uh start talking to them about how you're going to sue them if they don't let you take you off of it.

[386] And some of these attorneys go after time, I'm sure companies and do a good job with them.

[387] But if everyone came in, because she said her brother or sister was in on it too, so if it was her and the sibling and the parents, if they all got an attorney together to try to get out, is that a better way or getting out a fourth would be more difficult?

[388] Do you know what I mean?

[389] Like, if there could be an agreement that they all get out, is that an easier way?

[390] Let's pretend you could get this particular set of parents to do anything.

[391] Let's pretend you could do that, okay?

[392] And they actually did start the legal process together.

[393] I can't depend on to finish it because the things they're willing to do to their own children is baffles the mind.

[394] Okay.

[395] But the author...

[396] It does.

[397] I hear you, but the authorized user on credit cards is a legal thing and people are doing that today.

[398] It is not a legal thing.

[399] Yes, it is.

[400] Authorized users.

[401] Authorized user is not liable for the debt.

[402] They didn't sign up authorized user.

[403] They were owners of the account.

[404] It wouldn't, it shouldn't be showing up on their credit bureau if they're just an authorized user.

[405] It's not supposed to.

[406] You can clear, that's a different issue.

[407] You can clear that off because an authorized user is not an owner of the account.

[408] They're not liable.

[409] Yes, but they do get the perks of the credit of the account.

[410] They're not supposed to.

[411] They're not supposed to.

[412] But they are.

[413] Because they're not an owner of the account.

[414] They're not financially responsible for the account.

[415] And so, yeah, this is what this is where stupid parents are doing to their kids.

[416] They're just ridiculous.

[417] And if you're doing this to your kids, you're stupid.

[418] You should stop it.

[419] Don't mess up your kid's life.

[420] This poor lady right here is dealing with people like you if you're doing this to your kid.

[421] So, gosh, I'm so sorry, honey.

[422] I don't have an answer for you.

[423] Get the credit cards closed completely down.

[424] That'll get rid of it either way.

[425] And then you've got to fight on your hands with the idiot time share industry.

[426] It is the most grotesque, fraud -filled, horrible industry on the planet.

[427] They're just awful.

[428] It's just the worst.

[429] And I've dealt with them for 20 years trying to get people out.

[430] We had a company that did it for a while, and the company went sideways.

[431] And so screwed up.

[432] If you had to, Dave, George and I played this game on Happy Hour.

[433] Would you either have a time share or a leased car?

[434] I don't have to enter the land of stupid and pick one option.

[435] I know.

[436] I'm going to turn around and leave the land of stupid.

[437] I'm not going to pick one of the options.

[438] So why would I do that?

[439] It's a fun game.

[440] It's not a fun game.

[441] Just the light in the mood.

[442] No, it's nothing light about it.

[443] It just aggravates me. But yeah, the, so gosh, Victoria, I'm sorry.

[444] I'm just angry for you.

[445] This just pisses me off that your mom and dad would treat their own children this way.

[446] It's affecting your brother and sister -in -law's ability to buy a home.

[447] This is awful.

[448] It's just awful.

[449] And, you know, the fact that your family is so freaking dysfunctional that your Christmas present is the opportunity to sign to co -sign.

[450] No, I don't know.

[451] On a time share.

[452] I was using that as an example.

[453] Just when you come back Christmas, sign up.

[454] You know, it's just like.

[455] Well, I don't know if that was what happened.

[456] I know.

[457] I know.

[458] But I'm just, it's what happened.

[459] It's the way this family works.

[460] So I'm so sorry for you.

[461] I do not know.

[462] The only thing I know how to do is go after the timeshare business, the only way they understand, and that's a metaphorical two before to the face.

[463] Oh, my.

[464] It's the only thing you can do to get their attention.

[465] You have to hit them hard.

[466] It's the only thing they get.

[467] They are a nasty, fraudulent industry.

[468] They're horrible.

[469] Have I been unclear on America?

[470] This is the Ramsey Show.

[471] One of the questions I get all the time is, which life insurance company should I use for my term life policy?

[472] A valid question, since there are hundreds of companies out there with rates all over the place in riders and add -ons that are simply a waste of money.

[473] You need to get this done and make the right decision.

[474] That's why the only company I use and have recommended for over 25 years is Zander Insurance.

[475] Zander is a broker who shops the top term life companies for you and finds the best rates available from the only plans I recommend.

[476] They also save you time, whether you want to work online, over the phone, or via text, their team will cater to your needs and help you make the right decision.

[477] This is an absolute necessity, and Zander has made the process easy and convenient.

[478] Call them at 800, 356, 4282, or visit zander .com for instant online quotes.

[479] Well, just before Showtime, Preston Cannon, our vice president of publishing, Ramsey Press, brought in a brand new copy of Ken's new book, which comes out in May. It's actually the thing, yeah.

[480] So find the work you're wired to do.

[481] It includes a code in the back.

[482] It's got this little tear -off thing, and when you tear it off, it's going to open up, and you'll see the code to enter for the get clear career assessment.

[483] We've sold almost 100 ,000 of those assessments to you folks.

[484] They're very good.

[485] It's one of the best digital products we've ever developed at Ramsey to help you figure out what you're good at, where you ought to go with your career, direction to take you towards your talents, your passions, all of that.

[486] It's incredible.

[487] So an assessment code is included with the new book because the new book is there to describe to you the results of the assessment and what to do with it.

[488] And so that's what this does.

[489] So if you have never taken the assessment, you can get the book.

[490] It comes with an e -book with an assessment, a audio book with an assessment code, and the hardback book.

[491] So you get three of the assessments to give to friends and relatives or whatever and the books to help you tell how to do it.

[492] And it comes out and it's on pre -sale right now.

[493] You can get it, but we'll actually ship them in early May. Yeah, we've had, I've had friends.

[494] We've had family take that assessment.

[495] And stuff, it really is.

[496] It's really, really well done.

[497] It's huge.

[498] It's fabulous.

[499] Zach is with us in Dallas.

[500] Hey, Zach, how are you?

[501] Doing well.

[502] How about yourself?

[503] Better than I deserve.

[504] How can I help?

[505] So I'm getting married this December.

[506] My fiancé currently has a 2006 Mustang that's starting to fall apart.

[507] I would like to get her a new vehicle after we're married, or we would like to get a new vehicle after we're married.

[508] Not as a wedding present, just as getting her something better that's more reliable.

[509] I currently make about $110 ,000 a year.

[510] I'm debt -free.

[511] I own a house.

[512] My parents gifted me. What is an acceptable budget to get her a vehicle?

[513] And one reason I'm asking is her family's very judgmental and causes problems whenever she gets new things or nice things.

[514] So I'm trying to find a budget that won't get too much flack from them, but also gets her in a nice reliable vehicle.

[515] well I would be looking at the latter Zach I think that first part of worrying about what they think that's going to that's going to be a long exhausting life that you're going to live if that's a filter that you use and so I think it's a good practice for this to be the first purchase that you guys make solely as a couple based on your numbers which you guys want and regardless of of the judgment that probably will be coming because how you guys are set up already with a paid -for house.

[516] You have no debt.

[517] You make great money.

[518] You guys will probably be purchasing some things in the near, far future that they will be judging probably a lot throughout your marriage.

[519] So I think it's a good practice to say here's our first, you know, the first purchase we're going to make as our own family unit.

[520] And it's going to be a stretch for you guys emotionally, but I would do that.

[521] And then looking at the numbers, do you have any money saved?

[522] About $125 ,000 in the bank.

[523] You're a stud.

[524] Good for you.

[525] How old are you?

[526] 21 you're killing man you are so killing i'm so proud of you great job Zach man she got a catch you're you're something else six classes away from graduating with a degree i have no college debt and i work about 70 hours a week right now what do you what's your degree in uh business management you're going to be a multi -millionaire you're amazing so nice good for you good for you so the rule of thumb on cars is they go down in value you know that Yes.

[527] A guy like you knows that already.

[528] That's not something I have to teach you.

[529] So we tell folks, don't buy things with motors and wheels, boats, sea doze, snowmobiles and tractors.

[530] Don't buy things with motors and wheels that all add up when you add up all your stuff with motors and wheels to more than half your annual income because it all goes down in value.

[531] And so in your case, you make $100 ,000.

[532] You're talking about spending $20 ,000 on her, and you're well in rank.

[533] right yes yeah it's no big deal yeah she doesn't need a 70 ,000 -dollar car doesn't fit your budget yeah we were looking at a a new Honda CRV which runs about 38 to 40 okay I would not do a new one unless you've got a million dollar net worth and you don't so I would hold back on that but maximum when you're done your car plus her car does not need to be more than 50 % of your take -home pay and pay cash okay Okay.

[534] So, I mean, 50 % of your gross annual.

[535] So your gross annual together is going to be what?

[536] She's currently a full -time student.

[537] So I just buy $10 ,000.

[538] It's in archaeology.

[539] When she graduated?

[540] She really wants to be $2 .25.

[541] Okay.

[542] So at the time you're doing this, it's going to be your income, and you make what?

[543] 70.

[544] 110.

[545] 110.

[546] I'm sorry.

[547] Okay.

[548] So 55 total.

[549] What's your car worth?

[550] My truck is worth about $50 ,000.

[551] Okay.

[552] Well, you're way over.

[553] So, you know, 15, 20 grand for her, max, and then don't do this again.

[554] It's the only dumb thing you've done in the whole story you told me. You really have got your act together except that truck.

[555] Was it paid for?

[556] You paid cash for the truck?

[557] I did.

[558] The job I got, I needed to have a 21.

[559] You did not need a $50 ,000 truck.

[560] I don't care what job.

[561] No, it's my biggest regret so far.

[562] Yeah, it's your biggest mistake so far.

[563] Everything else in your story is.

[564] is fabulous, so you've been really smart, but you're going to have too much tied up in cars and don't do it again, but you're 21, you've got the rest of your life to do smart, so you're fine, everything's okay, you're great, you're great.

[565] Now, when you buy her a $25, or a $20 ,000 car or something like that, which is about what the, a used CRV, in other words, to put her in something nicer.

[566] Back to the other part of the question.

[567] Rachel's right, trying to please judgmental people that you love and you actually care about their judgment is exhausting and so I you're a really nice young man and I want to teach you to continue to be nice to them on the outside but in the inside when they start talking like that I just want you to say nunya so they none you business don't like me already I don't care frustrated they deal with her yeah that's fine they she needs to learn to hear in her head when they start something just go nun you because let me tell you how many times one of my grown kids called and asked me if they should buy a car.

[568] Zero.

[569] Or ask me when they should have a baby.

[570] Zero.

[571] Which is appropriate, by the way.

[572] They don't need my permission.

[573] They're what's known as grown.

[574] Okay.

[575] And I, do they, you know, Rachel drives one of those rolling batteries.

[576] I mean, I don't, why would, why would, why would, why would I condone that?

[577] I wouldn't condone that Tesla stuff.

[578] It's not like a real car.

[579] And they catch fire.

[580] I'll beat you on the interstate.

[581] You will.

[582] You beat me in the parking lot, too.

[583] I've seen you.

[584] But the, but the, I'm kidding around, but, you know, so we can just have fun with it.

[585] And that's the extent of my judgment towards her.

[586] Yeah, but there's a relationship fact.

[587] I mean, they're fractured already before they even enter the marriage.

[588] Zach, what's, I'm just curious.

[589] I mean, she's still in school.

[590] And I had a semester left of college when I got married in December.

[591] So there's no judgment on my end.

[592] I'm just curious.

[593] What's causing kind of like a level of urgency to get married now?

[594] If she has a full year left, you're still in school, and the parent, it's not great with the family?

[595] Like, what's the, is it just you guys love each other and this is it?

[596] For the most part, yes.

[597] That's really all there is to it, is that we've dated for two years.

[598] We're ready to get married, great to move in, and see less of a reason to wait than we do to go ahead and get married.

[599] Gotcha.

[600] Okay.

[601] I was just curious.

[602] We want to live together and start our lives and we want to do it the right way.

[603] And so, good for you.

[604] Marriage was the next step.

[605] Good for you.

[606] Well, what's going to happen is you're just going to go pick up Henry Cloud's book, Boundaries, because that's what I'm saying is just you've got to have boundaries.

[607] Just say you smile at them and go, yeah, okay.

[608] But if you filter your decisions through what they think, Rachel's exactly right.

[609] It's going to be exhausting because you cannot anticipate what crazy is going to do.

[610] That's why it's known as crazy.

[611] So you'll never make them happen.

[612] I mean, you could buy a $5 ,000 car.

[613] It doesn't matter what you do.

[614] You know, yeah.

[615] It's not.

[616] Because and the point is, you know, you reach a point that you're not doing anything for them.

[617] And that point is the day you say I do.

[618] Which is the, which you're in the hardest season though.

[619] I mean, from an age wise, young, you know, the amount of time from a parent's handoff to the real world.

[620] I mean, the older you get in the more life experiences and more decisions you make, the easier it is.

[621] This is the hard.

[622] hardest, this will be the hardest season to feel that and actually walk through those motions.

[623] And so you guys together, it's like you just lock arms and just say, and even have like a funny code.

[624] If you guys go to Christmas and they make a comment, just like have a thing with each other of like, I'm just going to like scratch my hair and be like, I'm dying inside, but just me and you know, right?

[625] Like you got to like just, you got to have fun with it and lean on each other.

[626] But congratulations, Zach.

[627] We're excited for you guys.

[628] Now I'm looking for funny coach.

[629] This is the Ramsey Show.

[630] Live from the headquarters of Ramsey Solutions, it's the Ramsey Show where we help people, build wealth, do work that they love, and create actual amazing relationships.

[631] Rachel Cruz, number one bestselling author, host of the Rachel Cruz show, co -host of the Smart Money Happy Hour, both Ramsey Network hits and my daughter, Ramsey personality, is my co -host today.

[632] Open phones at AAA 825 -5 -2 -2 -2 -5.

[633] Rachel, this is right up your alley.

[634] Let's jump in and do the question of the day.

[635] It's Financial Literacy Month, and one of the ways we're celebrating is taking questions from students at high schools that are teaching our high school curriculum, foundations in personal finance.

[636] And by the way, Texas and South Carolina have just mandated, the latest two states, to mandate that personal finance be taught as a graduation requirement in their high schools salute to you two states well done there's a time that the legislature in your state did good work and of course we're one of the options that the are adopted by your state uh uh board of education whatever it is and they've adopted us in both cases uh which means we're one of the options the schools are selecting from and we're honored that a whole bunch of schools in both of those states are now going to going to add this.

[637] So today's question comes from a student at B .B. High School.

[638] Yes.

[639] And it says, if you are a natural spender, how do you learn to save when your tendency is to spend?

[640] Oh, that's my kind of question.

[641] But it's you and me both.

[642] We're both natural spending.

[643] Just on the break, too.

[644] I was like, just buy the thing.

[645] Dad, we're talking about something.

[646] Anyways, um, yeah, I mean, I think for me I had to, I, I realized two things pretty quickly.

[647] Number one, I realized if I didn't save at all than the amount of stress, the future Rachel of what she would want to do, like all of that is gone, right?

[648] There's, there's something there to say, I'm going to plan for the future and that's motivating to me. So that kind of helped get this rhythm for me to be able to say, okay, the savings is there.

[649] And there is to a point as a spender.

[650] And again, I think savers have their negatives.

[651] We can talk about that.

[652] But the, the, the, bend or negative at times is we can get in a rhythm of like, oh, if I just, that thing is exciting to buy and I get some excitement from it and then that excitement fades.

[653] And it may fade an hour after you buy the thing.

[654] It may fade a week after you buy the thing.

[655] But eventually that excitement fades.

[656] And if you depend on your happiness or your joy in life to be on that type of excitement, you're going to be a rat in a wheel for the rest of your life.

[657] And it becomes a contentment issue at that point, not just a money, dollars and cents issue.

[658] And so that part's very important.

[659] And that's a hard one.

[660] I mean, the contentment idea is really difficult.

[661] I think as spenders can kind of be that rat in a wheel at times and just get, get, get.

[662] And so understanding where your joy, your happiness, your identity even comes from.

[663] And one question I even ask myself, Dave, when I buy stuff for me, is I filter through the question, if nobody sees this purchase, do I still want it?

[664] Like, is there any motivator for what, whether it's a compliment or what someone's going to think about me. Like, is that any level of a load break?

[665] If you never posted online that you had bought this.

[666] Yeah, or you went on that vacation if nobody knew.

[667] Like, whatever it is.

[668] The tree falls in the woods and no one is there.

[669] It's a spender still spending.

[670] Yeah, so it's just making sure the motives, you know, are healthy.

[671] It's really good.

[672] That is healthy because that's trying to get affirmation from others based on the label is a real problem for spenders.

[673] Yep.

[674] So spending, as a reformed spender myself, a matured spender, I still spend, it's still my natural bent, but I'm also a math nerd, so I came up with two things that caused me to do it, in my case.

[675] One is, I knew if I saved more, I could spend more, because I would have more.

[676] And so the quality of car I drive today far exceeds the quality of car when I didn't save back in the day, and I was a broke person.

[677] So, yeah, you get a better life.

[678] I know a better spender life.

[679] And the second thing is not always true, but in the 30 -something years I've been doing this, more often than not, it's a generality, but more often than not, spenders are also generous people.

[680] They like to give.

[681] And you can't give if you're broke.

[682] And if you give a $1 ,000 car or a $2 ,000 car to a single mom and it changes their life, what if you did 10 of them?

[683] and you change 10 of them's life for 20 ,000 instead of 2 ,000.

[684] You can't do that if you're broke.

[685] And so the way you get that 20 ,000 to give is to save it.

[686] And so the enjoyment of money is what a spender likes.

[687] And the enjoyment of giving, the enjoyment of the generosity, but also the enjoyment of consumption, too.

[688] And so both of those are what drive me in the situation.

[689] But I think your answer was probably better overall.

[690] It really was.

[691] I mean, you know, it's because, you know, the problem with spenders is that we're worshipping at the idol of stuff if we're not careful and if you bow down to that idol you will find it's a false idol it does not deliver it does not deliver satisfaction and to swing on the other end of the spectrums i talk about this in my book know yourself know your money that that's the that's the downside of the spender and that's real very very real but there is a downside of a saver where you become so control -freaked tight -fisted hoarding mentality that there's almost this level of stress because you just have the money I mean like you almost can't find the piece either right because you're holding on sometimes there's not a big enough savings to get peace yes so it's kind of on that other end too so savers we're not left leaving you off the hook yeah well I mean it's and Larry Burkett used to say it well he said there's a difference the only difference between saving and hoarding is not the amount The only difference is saving and hoarding is the intent.

[692] You know, why are you doing this?

[693] Yeah.

[694] What's it for?

[695] Because hoarders are, I might need that someday.

[696] Savers are, I might need that someday.

[697] You know, and it's this idea that you're going to get from something money can't give you.

[698] Yes.

[699] Which is contentment, is peace.

[700] There's not enough money to, you can't have a big enough pile of money for it to serve you.

[701] You have to, I mean, for you to serve it.

[702] you have to it has to serve you yeah and so if you're trying to get from stuff spenders joy and contentment it's going to come up short you eat enough lobster it tastes like soap and i like lobster but uh if you if you're doing if you eat enough fine dining it's no longer fine um and so you know it doesn't matter and as soon as you get a really expensive car you you know you you get a real problem with where to park it because some body will bounce a door off of it like it's a basketball and then go oh did i do that yes you just did yeah and then your whole joinments wrapped up and like oh my gosh this thing like yeah now i'm worshiping this thing and ready to kill this person you know and it's just like you know but yeah but i mean that's all that is it's the thing you can't you can't you just live in this world where this stuff you're asking stuff or a pile of money depending on whether you're a save or a spender to do something for you it can't that's right that was your point it's a better point than my that's good it's true it's all true of a good point and uh god is not fond of idol worship it comes up early and often in scripture and that's what this comes down to is where are you trying to get joy from and and so if you uh i like our friend the minimalist title it's use stuff not people yes you know that's a good thing and don't let stuff use you that's the deal and when you got a $1 ,200 car payment you're being used hello this is the ramsie show Ramsey personality is my co -host today.

[703] Thank you for joining us, America.

[704] We're so glad you're here.

[705] Hey, we are really excited about this upcoming Total Money Makeover event weekend here on the Ramsey campus.

[706] Rachel and I and George Camel and Jade and Dr. John Deloney and Ken Coleman, we're going to be doing a weekend -long event, the Total Money Makeover weekend.

[707] We want you to join us.

[708] We're going to help you get real healthy money habits that will really change your relationship with money for good.

[709] We're covering all the things you want to know, how to get out of debt, how to create a budget with every dollar, how to communicate with your spouse about finances, how to ease anxiety around money, how to invest and build the retirement of your dreams, how to increase your income so that you can do all of these things.

[710] What is the key things that when woven together give you a very high probability of not only getting a handle on this money stuff, but becoming wealthy.

[711] We're going to take you all the way through it.

[712] This weekend long event is the ultimate motivator to get you fired up and excited to live the life you've always wanted.

[713] We're going to be doing a live taping of the hit podcast, Smart Money Happy Hour with Rachel and George.

[714] We're going have lots of Q &As throughout the weekend and all the personalities.

[715] Me, Rachel, Dr. Deloney, George Camel, Jade Washaw, Ken Coleman.

[716] Don't wait to get your tickets.

[717] This thing is not sold out yet and you can still get them.

[718] We would love to have you.

[719] Get them at Ramsey Solutions .com slash events.

[720] We'll start on Friday evening and go through Saturday evening.

[721] And if you get here a little bit early, you can watch the show.

[722] This show happened on the glass from one to four central time.

[723] And that's free for anybody, but you can certainly make that a part of your plan to do the whole thing.

[724] Later on, I'll be speaking on Friday night.

[725] They'll be doing the Smart Money Happy Hour on Friday night.

[726] And then all day, we're going to, if you bring a reluctant spouse they won't be reluctant anymore when you leave if you bring a friend that thinks you're crazy for doing this stuff they will be just as crazy as you when they leave we're going to teach you how to do this stuff and man when you get in that kind of an all immersive setting you can't come away it's like taking a cram course on all the stuff you should have known about money it's going to be so fun yeah it's going to be great these events are they are they're really fun I mean it's being in a room with it there's energy there's people there's learning there's me we bring hopefully lots of laughter and storytelling and it's relaxed and it's fun i mean just come hang out with us it's going to be it's going to be a really great event's life changing yeah ramsysolutions dot com slash events to get your tickets we'll be doing this of course may uh what is what's the dates on this thing uh may 10th through 11th 10th and 11th okay that's it i should have been on here i guess okay cool all right uh let's go to kenneth in rochester hey kenneth welcome to the Ramsey show.

[727] What's up?

[728] Hi, Ramsey.

[729] How are you guys doing today?

[730] Better than we deserve.

[731] What's up?

[732] So I'm a relatively new listener, but I've been watching your videos for the past couple of weeks now at work, and I keep hearing you take miniature, like, jabs at SOFi.

[733] And so as somebody who uses SOFi, I was wondering if there is a reason you don't like the app and if you would recommend an alternative well so far as a bank yeah I know you know that right sorry not app bank okay they're a bank and they sell they sell debt okay it's what they do they're everything in the app is designed amongst all this cheesy acting like they care about you bull crap but they don't care about you they're trying to sell you debt they're basically you know a bank of America in a millennial clothing.

[734] That's all they are.

[735] I mean, they're a bank.

[736] They sell credit card debt.

[737] They sell student loan debt.

[738] They sell mortgage debt.

[739] They sell home equity loan debt.

[740] It's where they make all their money.

[741] They're a bank.

[742] They sell debt.

[743] You know that, right?

[744] Yeah.

[745] I was just wondering if there was something more to it because, like, from what I've listened to in your videos, it seems like basically every bank does that.

[746] So I was wondering if there was a reason why you usually call out SoFi specifically.

[747] I call out Bank of America, Fifth Third Bank, and Chase pretty regularly too, right?

[748] Because they're large mega banks that don't have a soul and don't care of dad -blame thing about their customer.

[749] They're there to milk you.

[750] That's their whole job.

[751] The only difference in So -Fi and those other guys is those other guys just tell you, we're here to screw you.

[752] And So -Fi puts it all in all this little sweet millennial nurturing clothing, and it's just a bunch of crap.

[753] it's so hypocritical, it's unbelievable.

[754] And they have a great arena.

[755] The stadium.

[756] Always make fun of that.

[757] I just go so fat, right?

[758] That's when you hear me picking on them, right?

[759] But, I mean, it's just the big corporations.

[760] They are not your friend.

[761] So if there was an alternative, Kenneth, it is more of the credit union, your local bank, a state's, you know, wide bank, a regional bank.

[762] Yeah, exactly.

[763] Going more localized with your banking is a better way.

[764] And yes, they're actually going to talk to be able to talk to people.

[765] But they have most.

[766] of the local community banks and credit unions have at least a bit of if not a really good sold and they actually will treat you like a human being in the process if you have to go and sit down with somebody these guys you know they serve the stockholder these mega banks they get one thing they need one thing from you your money that's it that's all they want and so um and it's just it is kind of you know when you watch their ads it's like oh come on really But I guess people believe it.

[767] Well, they're good.

[768] I mean, their marketing is pretty fantastic.

[769] It makes you sound like that they actually care.

[770] You know, it's a hoot.

[771] But they don't.

[772] I mean, I promise you.

[773] I'm not mad at them.

[774] I mean, they just is who they is.

[775] They're just another megabank.

[776] That's all they are.

[777] They're out of San Francisco, which is where Bank of America was born.

[778] And the Visa card, which was when it was born, was called the Bank Ameriard card, was the birth of Visa.

[779] That's the DNA of Visa.

[780] It comes out of that same place.

[781] It's the same problem.

[782] So, yeah, no, it's not, it's not, I don't, but I don't hate so far more than Bank of America.

[783] Our whole thing here, Kenneth, is we want what's good for you.

[784] We want somebody, you know, and so when somebody is, you know, not taking care of the consumer, then there's a good chance, like timeshare people or something that I'm going to say something negative about it.

[785] Yeah, for sure.

[786] Well, and, and I think there's a point there to, just to realize and be on guard, Kenneth, of how great we mentioned, like, their marketing is, like their commercials and stuff, you're like, oh my gosh.

[787] and if they're that good on that side they're going to be that much better on all their online products you're going to be in it and you may not even realize oh my gosh I'm getting you know this here this here this here and they're and the ultimate yeah product is dead because they're making interest on you I mean all of it's how most banks are making all their money and so they're just really good at it so yeah like they spend be be aware billions of dollars trying to get your money yep it's their thing man I mean and so and Wells Fargo I mean that's the other one and we can drop in there.

[788] The level of fraud that company's gone through is unbelievable.

[789] So, I mean, but it's, you know, what you're looking for is a bank that their whole existence is not built on trying to milk you like yesterday's cow.

[790] I mean, that's really what you've got to get your head around.

[791] And so, yeah, I do business with a bank or two or three, but none of, but, you know, And none of them loan me money because they don't borrow money, you know, so it's not an option.

[792] But, you know, just be careful when you're playing with snakes because they bite.

[793] That's the whole point.

[794] Yeah.

[795] And I think, too, a question we're getting a lot is whether, yeah, where to hold my checking, right?

[796] And we talked about the local money.

[797] But then a lot of questions about high yield savings account.

[798] That's like one of the biggest right now because the interest rates are so great.

[799] So even online banks are another great option.

[800] Yeah, I'm fine with an online bank, but again, watch what you're doing.

[801] I mean, like, okay, because are they using?

[802] the high -yield savings account as the loss leader to get you in there so they can milk you with credit cards and home equity loans and are they going to just completely hammer you over and over and over and over and over again because that is the business that they're in the margins in that stuff is it's incredible yeah it's incredible the amount of money banks make and so you just have to watch what's going on with that and so yeah anybody that that's going to take advantage, you know, that's not doing a stellar job for the consumer, especially in a financial arena.

[803] Yeah, I'm going to call them out by name, and I have for 35 years.

[804] So I don't know that I'm, but I don't recall being harder on SOFi than I was those other banks, but other than I sneeze and say SOFI, because I think it's funny.

[805] But other than that, I don't, you know, it's not.

[806] I hear Bank of America more from you than SOFI.

[807] I can't stand on.

[808] I know.

[809] It's just awful.

[810] it's just why would anybody do business of those people this is the ramsie show this is the ramsie show where we prove every day that having common sense is like having a superpower in america today thanks for hanging out with us open phones at triple eight 8255 -225 rachel cruise ramsie personality best -selling author my daughter is my co -host today oxana is with us over in charlotte north carolina hi oxana how are you Hi, thank you so much for taking my call.

[811] It's an honor to speak with you.

[812] You too.

[813] What's up?

[814] Well, so my husband and I, we have made some really dumb choices, and so I just wanted to get some of your wisdom.

[815] We bought a house.

[816] We moved to Charlotte, like two years ago, bought a house that needed a lot of remodel before we could live in here.

[817] And so we didn't calculate what it would take, of course.

[818] So we just were not very smart financially.

[819] we were not disciplined, and I'm just disgusted from our lack of discipline.

[820] So now we're on our every dollar budget, and I feel like we're finally getting control over money.

[821] So my question would be, would it be wise for us to sell our house in order to get out of debt, or should we find a way to get rid of our expensive car and work our way out of debt that way?

[822] Is the house renovation complete?

[823] It's livable.

[824] We're living in.

[825] but it is not complete.

[826] Okay.

[827] And so if we don't sell it, you've got this need staring you in a face to continue to fix it up, right?

[828] Yes, we're slowly working on it like every weekend because my husband does construction, so it's already his, like, expertise.

[829] Yeah.

[830] Okay.

[831] Generally, when I find folks in that situation, by the time you're a couple of years into it, like you all are, sick of this house.

[832] I'm sick of our debt because we...

[833] No, that's what I'm talking about.

[834] That's different.

[835] That's different.

[836] That's a different subject.

[837] You're living in sawdust all the time and drywall dust.

[838] Yes.

[839] That is true.

[840] Yes.

[841] This is our third house with renovations.

[842] It's never finished.

[843] Yeah.

[844] And it's a perpetual state of construction.

[845] Yes.

[846] And most people, some people are okay with that, but it's not unusual for me to talk to someone that's sick of living in those conditions with no hope of it ending anytime soon.

[847] Is that true of you or is that not true of you?

[848] It's okay.

[849] It's okay if you're different and you just love it.

[850] It's okay.

[851] No, I don't love it, but I do see a light at the end of this tunnel finally.

[852] Where?

[853] How far out?

[854] This house, probably by the end of summer, we should be done.

[855] Oh, okay.

[856] That's not bad.

[857] That's a reasonable.

[858] So I do feel like, but I have been very sick and tired of living in a construction home like forever.

[859] So that's, I described him pretty well, but regardless of the other part of the discussion, you guys need to write that down and he needs to hear you because he's not sick of living in construction.

[860] He does it every day.

[861] It doesn't bother him because guys will live under a bridge.

[862] I mean, we're not, I mean, we'll live.

[863] anywhere, but ladies somehow need a little different situation, and that's reasonable to me. But, you know, so, because I can live in a construction situation, but, but I, but not with my wife.

[864] So, because she's, she's, because she's not going to live there.

[865] College home and walk through a girls college home, and there's your answer.

[866] There's, yeah, that's it.

[867] So, yeah, all of that to say, going forward, don't do this again.

[868] not because of the debt, but because it's not how you want to live.

[869] You've done it enough, okay?

[870] Yeah.

[871] That's just some advice.

[872] Okay, now, how much debt do you have?

[873] We have 137 ,000.

[874] And how much of that is the expensive car?

[875] Yeah, it's $68 ,000.

[876] And that's his truck?

[877] No, it's our everyday driving car.

[878] What is it?

[879] badly.

[880] It's a Toyota four -runner.

[881] Oh, okay.

[882] It's your car.

[883] Okay.

[884] Yeah.

[885] All right.

[886] Okay.

[887] And what's he drive?

[888] I'm sorry.

[889] I said 68.

[890] It's actually 59.

[891] The 68 is credit cards.

[892] He drives just a van, a work van.

[893] Okay.

[894] And the 68 was from the renovation, right?

[895] Yeah, renovation and random stuff like going out to eat.

[896] Okay.

[897] All right.

[898] And you stopped all that.

[899] All right.

[900] So what's your household income?

[901] Yes.

[902] well it dropped a lot since moving here because we're going to start back up from scratch and last year we made 47 ,000 but this year I'm projecting it's going to get a lot better because just in April we're going to get about 10 ,000 and just the month.

[903] What do you think you're going to make in 2024?

[904] I'm going to guess like 70 or more at least.

[905] All right.

[906] That sounds right.

[907] It sounds good.

[908] Okay.

[909] And what do you owe on the house?

[910] On the house, we owe 405, $405 ,000.

[911] What's your mortgage payment every month?

[912] Our mortgage is $2 ,400.

[913] How have you been making a mortgage payment, making $40 ,000?

[914] Credit cards.

[915] Wait, what was the question?

[916] How are you making a $2 ,000 mortgage payment making $40 ,000?

[917] Honestly, we've been borrowing from people, and it's been really tough.

[918] I don't know if you can afford this house.

[919] moving home.

[920] You need to be making, you need to make a take -home pay of $8 ,000 a month, which is a $110 ,000 a year to afford this house.

[921] Really?

[922] So without talking about even the debt?

[923] Not counting the debt.

[924] Yeah, your take -home pay should, your house payment should not be more than a fourth of your take -home pay.

[925] Otherwise, you put yourself in a pinch.

[926] And so, do you see your way to $110 ,000 income from $70 ,000?

[927] in the following year.

[928] What was his high point before you left the other place?

[929] Like 120 a year?

[930] Yeah, okay.

[931] All right.

[932] Can he get back there in another year after this year?

[933] I'm hoping, and it looks like it's going up.

[934] It's like going up pretty fast all over the sudden, and he's a very hard worker.

[935] So I'm not questioning his work ethic, yeah, yeah.

[936] Questioning is math ability.

[937] I would sell the car.

[938] I'd sell the car, and I'd keep the house.

[939] and if your income does not go up to 120 by the end of 25 you need to sell the house oh okay that makes sense because you know but we need to get rid of the car now and um and then you start chipping away at the credit card debt as your income comes up you'll be able to do that but if you're if you're living on a $70 ,000 income then your take home pay is going to be somewhere in the 55 range after taxes and you know that's 4 ,500 bucks a month and almost 50 % of that's going to a house payment then.

[940] And so it's very...

[941] So you work out upside down?

[942] Like on the difference, how do we pay that difference?

[943] You're upside down on the house?

[944] Or the car?

[945] No, no, no, on the car.

[946] Oh, I got changed here.

[947] What could you sell it for?

[948] We can sell it for 55 ,000 probably, 50 to 55.

[949] Who said?

[950] Oh, I just looked on Facebook, like what people are selling it for.

[951] Okay.

[952] Go to Kelly Blue Book, KBB.

[953] and look at private sale that is an accurate number very little on facebook is true what about jd power i also got that would be okay what did you look at a private sale on jd power yeah it was 54 okay that's what the car's worth it's worth 55 okay and you owe six and you owe 59 so you've got to come up with four grand to sell it yeah i can replace a car work with a bank oh we just find the cash for it and just pay that a cheap cash car a hoopty because you're broke people but you'll probably have to take out a small loan oxana possibly to make the difference of that four grand and a little bit of money to replace the car by a $5 ,000 car yeah you need a $10 ,000 loan instead of a $59 ,000 loan so yeah that's going to move you in the right direction but yeah you need to get rid of the car and then you need to say if we don't get our income up to the $1 ,000 mark by the end of 20 25 or 19 2025 then um you know then we've got too much house and oxana hold on the line and austin and taylor are going to pick up and we want to give you guys financial peace university and every dollar premium or you said you were doing every dollar so if you have that no worries but uh watch nine lessons with you and your husband and you guys get on the same page with this because that's a really helpful course to get these basics down and so you guys can really go full steam ahead.

[954] When you have that knowledge and you start working and creating these new habits, it's going to be so helpful for you guys.

[955] It really is.

[956] I see the light of the incidental for you guys.

[957] I think you're on the cusp of change.

[958] It's right there.

[959] You just need that little extra push.

[960] So we're cheering for you guys, though.

[961] Yeah, you are.

[962] You're going to make it.

[963] You're going to be okay.

[964] And if the house is worth a lot more than 400, yeah, you might want to sell it.

[965] That'd be cool, too.

[966] Rachel Cruz, Ramsey Personality is my co -host today.

[967] Aaron is with us in Oklahoma City.

[968] Hi, Aaron.

[969] How are you?

[970] I am very well.

[971] Dave, how are you and this Rachel doing?

[972] Better than we deserve, sir.

[973] How can we help?

[974] Well, I have a question about I have some money sitting in a savings account that I wanted to see your advice.

[975] But as I told the screeners, I have a fairly complicated backstory if you want to hear it.

[976] Sure.

[977] It would affect the decision, yeah.

[978] Absolutely.

[979] Yeah.

[980] So I am a three -time cancer survivor, but also a current cancer patient.

[981] About two years ago, I was diagnosed with a stage four incurable and have been doing really well for two years.

[982] But, you know, when they tell you that, you figure the end is near every day.

[983] So my history is roughly in, let's see, I have a 16 -year -old, a 14 -year -old and a 9 -year -old, and when my two older ones were very young, four -in -one, we started to do the Dave Ramsey plan.

[984] Sorry, I'm nervous.

[985] That's okay.

[986] You're fine.

[987] And we had a lot of debt at that time, but we paid off all of our credit.

[988] the cards.

[989] We paid off my wife's student loans and a few other little things.

[990] And then in 2012 is when I got, well, originally I had cancer in 2000, yeah, exactly 2000.

[991] And then in 2012, had another issue, had to have a surgery and remove part of my kidney and started to have to pay some medical stuff.

[992] And it kind of derailed where we were.

[993] So for the next, I don't know, nine or so years, we lived on a budget.

[994] We still were prudent with our money, but we weren't really getting ahead.

[995] And then bought our own business, had it for 10 years.

[996] And in 2022, we sold it, and I made a fairly decent amount of money.

[997] But then that was in March.

[998] And then in the end of June, it's when I got diagnosed with this stage for terminal cancer.

[999] Okay, so my question is, from the sale of that business, I would put 320 or so in savings, had to use about 50 ,000 of that for medical expenses and to live.

[1000] And then fairly recently, I have opened 5 -2 -9s for all three kids, but I've only put 10 in each, So a total of 30.

[1001] So what I'm looking at is $240 ,000 in cash savings.

[1002] My question is, do I, well, I want you to just kind of guide me. But in my head, the thought process was, do I continue to invest in $529?

[1003] Do I pay down on the house in preparation to try to obviously help my wife and kids if and then I do go.

[1004] Sorry, that's a lot.

[1005] No, it's fine.

[1006] What do you owe on your home?

[1007] 284.

[1008] Okay.

[1009] And what's your household income today since you sold the business?

[1010] Well, I've since moved on and got a new job.

[1011] We combined we make about 150, 155K.

[1012] Okay.

[1013] Well, I think that together, so what's your wife make?

[1014] uh she brings home around 800 every month i mean she she works part time takes full time taking care of the kids yeah okay right do you have life insurance mine my life insurance in i do i have uh one point roughly 1 .3 in in term okay all right so um and i have about 70 combined we have about 75k and 401k robs good so what i want to do if I'm in your shoes is put together a plan that works if I live through this and a plan that works if I don't okay is that okay I believe so I think that's what you're asking because I yeah yes because I do believe in miracles and so I'm fine with either one whatever God chooses okay yes sir and so before we do that uh have you got your will done in the process okay and your wife's will as well okay in the process yes okay and that doesn't need to drag out you need to do that now okay very important to get that wrapped up because that will um it it will change things in the uh emotional state of both of you to have had that done it's a weird thing but um it's uh it gives you a level of peace and get her a level of peace because it's all dialed in that that box is checked you know what i'm saying yes sir and it's it's also like uh if you've got your spiritual life arranged like you know where you're going right yes sir okay so you're walking with god right amen yes i am okay All right.

[1015] See, that's, you know, not one less thing to worry about.

[1016] So, you know, to die at this point is gain then.

[1017] Yes.

[1018] Those of us, those of us that are people.

[1019] Except that with a nine -year -old kid.

[1020] I, I, I get it.

[1021] I get it.

[1022] There's the spiritual understanding and the intellectual understanding and the emotional acceptance.

[1023] I don't know if I could deal with it.

[1024] I don't want to trade places with you, but I'm just talking through what I would do if I were in your shoes.

[1025] I'd want to make sure I had these things arranged.

[1026] that gives me a foundation to arrange the rest of it.

[1027] Does that make sense?

[1028] Yes.

[1029] Because what I've found is I get, when I'm facing hard stuff, if I address each of the buckets in the hard stuff, then I've done all I can do, and then the rest is the ride.

[1030] And so the will, your spiritual walk and condition, all of that.

[1031] And then we say, okay, if you pass away, she's got $250 ,000 in the bank.

[1032] she's got 1 .1 million in insurance coming so she's got you know a million three and she writes a check and pays off the house that day sits down with a smart vestor pro oh by the way you could probably go ahead and do that now and let her and you develop a relationship with this uh an investment broker that understands what's going on and okay if if she walks in here with a paid for house and a million dollars we're going to invest that and she can live off the pro see or live off the income it creates and raise the kids.

[1033] kids and not have to work because I think she can probably live on a hundred grand a year can she yes okay all right so you know if you lay that out now that's the if I die scenario the house is paid off we invest in mutual funds with the balance of the insurance money and and then we know that financially the kids are going to eat and go to college we're good I would not do 529s with this money okay and now if you live longer uh you're going to need this liquidity to fight this uh because you're you're probably at a uh it sounds like you're in alternative treatment stage is that right no no no i'm actually doing very well i'm i tell people i'm in really good shape for the shape i'm in okay okay i work so you're still doing straight chemo i'm doing chemo every 21 days yeah okay all right uh 46 hours a week if you need if you need 50 000 bucks to fly to x y z country to begin a treatment that is beyond what your normal course of events are here to take another shot at this whole thing.

[1034] You've got that money laying there, and I want to keep it laying there for you.

[1035] Okay.

[1036] I also want to keep it laying there if you guys decide you want to take like a family trip and create a memory.

[1037] Yeah.

[1038] That'd be okay, too.

[1039] That's a good use of this money.

[1040] I've already paid for a trip at the end of May. good for us to go do that.

[1041] Good for you.

[1042] Okay.

[1043] So I want to give you permission to use some of this money that way.

[1044] And then if 10 years later we're sitting here and that money's gone, but you're here, I'm good with that.

[1045] That's a good investment.

[1046] Yeah.

[1047] Okay.

[1048] So kind of sit tight on it.

[1049] Yeah, let's sit tight on it.

[1050] But sit down and lay out your plan.

[1051] You know, what I'm doing is if you're alive, I'm keeping this money liquid so we can take care of you and create the situation, best situation for the family.

[1052] if you're gone, we've got this money plus the insurance money, pay off the house and invest, and we lay that out and put all those relationships in place to go there.

[1053] So you've got a, you know, you've got a thing laid out.

[1054] And then if I'm you, that gives me peace because I've got a plan to fight through this.

[1055] And I think it's helpful to do that.

[1056] Man, I'm praying for you, Aaron.

[1057] You're a strong dude.

[1058] This is The Ramsey Show.

[1059] The headquarters of Ramsey Solutions.

[1060] It's the Ramsey Show where we help people.

[1061] Build wealth, do work that they love, and create actual amazing relationships.

[1062] Rachel Cruz, Ramsey personality, number one bestselling author, and host of Smart Money Happy Hour with our own George Camel on the Ramsey Networks, and my daughter is my co -host today.

[1063] Thanks for joining us, America.

[1064] The phone numbers, AAA -825 -2 -2 -25.

[1065] Brandon is with us.

[1066] Brandon is in Evansville, Indiana.

[1067] Hi, Brandon.

[1068] How are you?

[1069] Hi, Dave and Rachel.

[1070] Thanks for having me. A pleasure to talk to both of you.

[1071] You too.

[1072] What's up?

[1073] Yeah, I've got a question for you.

[1074] This is a phone call compared to a lot of the ones you get to have.

[1075] I've been listening to you since about 2007 or so.

[1076] I'm debt -free except for the house right now.

[1077] That's all about the change.

[1078] I've got a significant windfall coming from work that's life -changing, essentially.

[1079] And I'm trying to get my ducks in a row.

[1080] I've met with my financial advisor.

[1081] I've met with, I'm meeting with the CPA and a state attorney coming up here in the next two weeks.

[1082] Wow.

[1083] And so the real question becomes the buckets, the percentages, how they change, the give, save, and spend.

[1084] And really kind of focusing on the giving portion on like what percentages do you give for that?

[1085] And how do you make it put boundaries on that so you don't find, you know, I don't think I have anybody like that they would do it.

[1086] But just, you know, you don't know who's going to come out of the woodwork.

[1087] if you start giving money away and I just want to be able to help out people and then on top of that on the back end of it just some of the other fun stuff we get to do with it as well Yeah How much money are you getting, Brendan?

[1088] Yeah, it's in the seven -figure range Over a million bucks Yeah Good for you, I'm so proud for you That's great What to go, man You killed it, how old are you?

[1089] About 40 Way to go, good for you Man, you're killing it, it's awesome Yeah, how much is left?

[1090] on the house, Brandon?

[1091] About 100 ,000.

[1092] Oh my gosh.

[1093] Okay.

[1094] So most of this is all for you guys.

[1095] So it really does fall in the three buckets then?

[1096] Okay.

[1097] Yeah.

[1098] And really just kind of, I don't know what percentages to put everything in.

[1099] Obviously, you know, obviously give 10 % is kind of an easy one, but then, you know, if I want to go either above that or just help others in my family.

[1100] Are you attending a local church?

[1101] Yes.

[1102] Okay.

[1103] Okay.

[1104] So, evangelical Christians teach and believe, and I'm one of them, that we give a tithe, a tenth of our income to our local church, okay?

[1105] And so I start with that on mine.

[1106] So when I get a check, like you're talking about, 50 % is gone, because 40 % is going to stinking taxes, and 10 % is going to tithe.

[1107] So then the give, save, spend buckets are with the other 50%.

[1108] Okay.

[1109] Okay.

[1110] So let's just say you've got a million dollars as an example.

[1111] Okay.

[1112] And, you know, and we're not talking about paying off the house because you're getting more than a million dollars.

[1113] So we're just using a million dollars net.

[1114] So you're going to pay $400 ,000 taxes on it.

[1115] And, you know, because you have to pay your fair share, you communist.

[1116] And so, you know, you know how that is, right?

[1117] A bunch of crap.

[1118] And so, you know, like it's somebody else's money other than yours.

[1119] But it is.

[1120] Anyway, I can't stop.

[1121] It's.

[1122] It's close to April 15th.

[1123] This stuff just comes out.

[1124] I can't stop it.

[1125] But anyway, so 400 ,000 is going to stupid government, 10 % is going to your local church to tithe, and other giving would come out of the 50.

[1126] So I would add some other percentage out of that other 50.

[1127] How are you going to break down that other 50 % towards investing, further, you know, investing, further generosity, and, enjoyment or lifestyle adjustment, okay?

[1128] And so if you put 10 % on lifestyle adjustment, you've got $100 ,000 to blow and have fun with, go on a trip, buy a car, or whatever.

[1129] And that would leave you 40 % for giving and for investing.

[1130] If you put another 10 on additional giving, I'm just making these numbers up.

[1131] There's not a wrong number, a right number.

[1132] Okay?

[1133] Then you'd have another $100 ,000 to give, and that would leave you with 300 ,000 invested out of that particular million dollars.

[1134] If it's 10 million, it's going to be 10 times that much, okay?

[1135] But so you look at percentages and lay those out ahead of time, and then that sells you as you can sit down with your investment folk and go, I'm getting ready to bring you a check for this to invest.

[1136] Let's talk about what we're going to do with it.

[1137] And then you can start talking about what ministries or charities we want to support with this money, and then you start putting boundaries, as you said, on that to be a wise investor into God's kingdom with ministries and charities.

[1138] So you don't want, you know, like you said, I'm not going to, I don't want to put this in a bad place.

[1139] And so.

[1140] But you can't keep some for an individual, right?

[1141] If something comes up, you know, and you want to buy someone a car or something, you know what I mean?

[1142] You're able to do that too.

[1143] Yeah, you can do that too.

[1144] But of course, you know, tax deductible is going to be going to.

[1145] That's true.

[1146] Yeah.

[1147] If you're concerned about that at all, it's going to be going to a 501 C3.

[1148] unless you form some kind of foundation.

[1149] And I don't know how much money you're getting, but you're probably not in the foundation level yet.

[1150] But because it takes a bit of money to maintain that sucker.

[1151] Brandon, I have a question for this specific amount of money.

[1152] Is this kind of a one time like, oh my gosh, this just happened?

[1153] It probably will never happen again.

[1154] Or is it, are you in a position career -wise where this could be something that happens every three to four years?

[1155] Do you know what I mean?

[1156] Is it?

[1157] It could happen more times over.

[1158] or let's just say I got on the right bus and they put me on the right seat.

[1159] So it all worked that well.

[1160] Okay, okay.

[1161] That's good.

[1162] Yeah, so I think especially with that, putting these habits in place, because as this comes up, you'll start to know, oh, yeah, it will start to flow more, right, as you lay this foundation.

[1163] That's exciting.

[1164] What I didn't do when I got the first one of these is I was very intentional with everything, except I just dumped the giving part in an account and then I had to clear it out by year end or I was going to get taxed on it and so I had to rush around at the end of the year and pick out some ministries to put it on and I did that like two years in a row and a guy who's a billionaire I was sitting with him he said you know you would fire somebody if they managed your investments that way you need to be better at investing God's money than that you need to be as careful on investing his money as you are investing the money for yourself.

[1165] And so you need to be doing due diligence on these ministries and checking them out and doing all this stuff.

[1166] And that is what led me, because we were starting to have these events pretty regularly, uh, to forming a foundation that Rachel's sister runs the foundation and she vets all these things now.

[1167] But, uh, but at a minimum, you've just got to be thoughtful about who you're going to give it to.

[1168] Because if you give $100 ,000 to a ministry that their whole budget is $100 ,000, you could screw them up.

[1169] yeah I understand and you know or if they're misbehaving with the money or they're usually not misbehaving they're just incompetence sometimes and you know giving a certain amount of money you're right I think to smaller ones where you're the big donor and if you stop giving for whatever reason in the next two years that they go under that brings them harm right so it is it's being really thoughtful and wise about the amount of money you give to each but that's the fun part Brandon too is yeah figuring out what do you guys love as a family what are the things that you're like oh my gosh we want to we want to put our resources and our money towards this type of organization or that are doing you know it's doing clean water or rescuing kids out of trafficking or like you know you get to really figure out as a family what are these things that we're passionate about that's that's the exciting part about all of this it can be so it can be so helpful it can be so so so helpful we've had a lot of fun with it this is the ramsie show budgeting app that helps you manage money the Ramsey way helps you give every dollar an assignment every dollar a mission every dollar a name and it works wherever you are ios or android or online on your desktop you can start every dollar for free and immediately see where you stand with your money get organized personalize your budget stop the overspending start behaving it's cool yeah and new to every dollar we're going to show you a long -term financial roadmap track your worth, your debt -free date, your retirement date, show you in your baby steps, how you're doing them progressing.

[1170] We're going to walk with you, proactively coach you to build wealth and reach your goals.

[1171] This app is blowing up.

[1172] Tens of millions of people using it.

[1173] It's crazy how cool it is.

[1174] So download the free app for iOS and Android or go to every dollar .com and get started on your desktop.

[1175] We would love to have you part of the Every Dollar family.

[1176] You can get started for free.

[1177] Allison is with us in Los Angeles.

[1178] Allison, welcome to The Ramsey Show.

[1179] Hi, Dave.

[1180] Thank you so much for taking my call today.

[1181] Sure.

[1182] What's up?

[1183] So I'm 21, and I graduate next month with a degree in finance.

[1184] Good for you.

[1185] And thank you.

[1186] And so I've been dating my boyfriend now for almost a year.

[1187] And, you know, as I'm graduating and as we've been talking about our life together, our future together, we have the idea of moving to Texas has come into mind.

[1188] And so the idea kind of came into play because my boyfriend has a buddy out there that he could work with and make more money than what he's currently making.

[1189] And I'm willing and open to the idea.

[1190] However, I made it very, very clear to him when we started talking about the move that we both needed to have at least a couple thousand dollars saved up prior to the move.

[1191] And I'm there.

[1192] I have that money saved up.

[1193] I'm pretty much ready to move after I graduate.

[1194] and I've talked to him about potentially going and moving to Texas about one to two months before I do because in the whole time that we've been together I've never seen him work full time.

[1195] He's not in school and he never went to college and he works about 20 hours a week right now as a personal trainer in his own business.

[1196] And so I kind of threw that idea out there for him and he doesn't want to move out there without me because he thinks I won't follow him, but I genuinely believe that he doesn't want to move out there with me because he doesn't have the financial means to do so.

[1197] And I think he wants me to be there with him so he can lean on me a little bit.

[1198] But I've been burned in the past by an ex -boyfriend in a similar situation, and I lost thousands of dollars.

[1199] And so I don't really know what to do.

[1200] He tells me that his financial status is none of my business.

[1201] But I'm thinking for moving in together, it should be.

[1202] Warning, warning, warning, warning.

[1203] I work 20 hours a week, and my money's none of your business.

[1204] Warning, warning, warning.

[1205] The bells are going off in your head so loud that you can't even hardly speak around them, aren't they?

[1206] Yeah.

[1207] You have alarms going off all around you.

[1208] You just described them to us very clearly.

[1209] I know.

[1210] Yeah.

[1211] I know.

[1212] It's just a hard reality.

[1213] It's a hard pill to swallow the reality of what the situation is.

[1214] but I think you know it, Allison.

[1215] Yeah, and I just, I talked to him, you know, and this also just, it impacts me a lot because, you know, as I said, I'm about to graduate, and so I started looking for jobs out in Texas, but we're kind of at the mercy of, you know, when his friend says he can come and he just...

[1216] Yeah, so the problem is, Allison, you're building your life around somebody, number one, that you're not married to, right?

[1217] I mean, you have no legal grounds on any level, and, you know, you've been burned in the family.

[1218] past financially with relationships, as you said.

[1219] And so you're following somebody that there is no true commitments and no true legal binding of anything, right?

[1220] And so, I mean, that's red flag number one for me. And number two, yeah, there's there's so many splinters off of the situation that if I were your friends and sitting here, I would say, Allison, what's best for Allison?

[1221] What's best for Allison?

[1222] And that would be a different question if you guys were married.

[1223] What's best for you guys as a couple but you're not and so being having that level of independence for you alison to be able to say what is best for me and is it moving to a place that you don't have a job right now following a guy who won't even let you into his finances who hasn't had a pattern of doing well financially or work wise because somebody of his x y and z it sounds like a disaster it really does So, Allison, you are very wise for 21 years old, because you've actually analyzed this pretty carefully.

[1224] You've got all the key points in the decision.

[1225] What's hurting is that it's leading you to a conclusion that is painful.

[1226] If you had a little sister, do you have a little sister?

[1227] Yes, I do.

[1228] How old is she?

[1229] she's 12 okay so she's 21 and you're now 30 and she comes and gives you this scenario what are you going to tell her I would tell her not to do it absolutely not to do it but the thing is I'm in this place where I am worried that he treats me so wonderfully and I'm worried that I'm never going to find somebody he actually doesn't treat you wonderfully if he was working like 60 hours a week making $100 ,000 a year, showering you with gifts and paying for everything and asking you to marry him so that he can make a lifelong commitment to you, and then, honey, let's go off to Texas and make a wonderful life.

[1230] That's treating you wonderfully, not come over here so I can lean on you because I don't work much.

[1231] Yeah.

[1232] That's not treating you wonderfully.

[1233] It's not the definition of wonderful.

[1234] You would tell your little sister that.

[1235] All I'm telling you is what you've already.

[1236] told me. I don't really know what's going on except what you told me. And I can tell you this.

[1237] I have had these situations over the years where everything in my brain is telling me not to do something, but my heart is pushing me forward anyway.

[1238] And I always look back and go, ouch.

[1239] So there's a proverb, Proverbs 2712 that says, I just looked it up because I couldn't remember exactly where it was while we were talking and I it's a there's actually a book been written on it by Andy Stanley but he says a wise person sees danger ahead and avoids it but a foolish person keeps going and gets into trouble and so yeah no kidding you know I mean that's you know like the proverbs kind of obvious and and but it's I've at times gone ahead anyway even though I knew down in my you down inside of you you know your spirit is telling you you're the the better parts of Allison are speaking to you and you're saying this guy's not yet eligible for a life partner he hasn't earned the right for someone as good as Allison yet he may be a sweet guy but there's a lot of lazy guys that are sweet yeah so what do you suggest I do I mean I we come from very very different financial backgrounds.

[1240] My parents are immigrants and they then get the opportunity to go to college and they worked so hard to be where they at today.

[1241] So your family is a family of work ethic.

[1242] Yes.

[1243] And you are.

[1244] You're a person who works.

[1245] Tell him that.

[1246] I have two jobs.

[1247] I can't go with you until I see some financial responsibility and some work ethic.

[1248] And his codependence on you, not just financially, but the idea that if he moves first and you not follow and that scares him that's not strength either right there's that there's a emotional codependence there as well alison and let me just say to and i you would say this to your sister if you were 30 and she was 21 he's not the only one oh god he's not the only one alison i promise you you're 21 i promise you unless he changes he's not the one either yeah okay because he's not he's not you've not described to someone us to someone you've not described to us to someone you've not described to us someone that is worthy of you.

[1249] That's right.

[1250] Yeah.

[1251] And when you limit options and you think this is it, this is it.

[1252] If I don't choose him, I'm never going to get married.

[1253] You know, you start to lose the ability to make critical, rational decisions with your life.

[1254] And I just want to tell you, there's more out there.

[1255] And you can choose to stay in the relationship and he goes to Texas and you guys work on it.

[1256] And maybe something changes.

[1257] But as of now, I would not move to Texas.

[1258] 100%.

[1259] Rachel Cruz, Ramsey Personality is my co -host today.

[1260] We invite you if you're in the Nashville or Franklin, Tennessee, which is just south of Nashville area.

[1261] Stop by our offices anytime.

[1262] We'd love to have you.

[1263] We do the show from 1 to 4 central time Monday through Friday.

[1264] There'll be two of us, Ramsey Personality sitting here, doing this exact thing, and you can come sit in the lobby, and we make homemade cookies, so it smells like Mama's Kitchen, and they're free to you, and we make coffee and it's free to you and people come and sit and watch the show we have no idea why they do that except it's free and so and they're cheap, they're cheap people sitting out there right now y 'all are cheap.

[1265] No, they're so great they're wonderful cheap people that's right it's free entertainment it's not great entertainment but it's free and so we love you we're glad you're here and on the debt free stage which is in that lobby Sam is with us hey Sam how are you Hi.

[1266] I'm really excited and also nervous.

[1267] We're all so excited to have you here and you no need to be nervous.

[1268] We've never lost a patient.

[1269] So where do you live?

[1270] I live in Allentown, Pennsylvania.

[1271] Wow.

[1272] Welcome to Nashville.

[1273] So good to have you.

[1274] And how much debt has Sam paid off?

[1275] $163 ,000.

[1276] Yes.

[1277] And how long did that take you?

[1278] 29 months.

[1279] Good for you.

[1280] And your range of income during that time?

[1281] I started at 53 ,000 and ended up at 155 ,000.

[1282] Oh my gosh.

[1283] What do you do for a living?

[1284] I am a researcher.

[1285] Okay.

[1286] And how'd you kick your income so hard?

[1287] So I actually, the reason why I started or the reason I had a whole bunch of debt was because I have three degrees.

[1288] And my first job was kind of like an intern.

[1289] So I was only earning 53 ,000.

[1290] And then.

[1291] So what are your degrees in?

[1292] I have a bachelor's degree, a master's in public health, and then a doctorate in public health.

[1293] Wow.

[1294] Wow.

[1295] What do you do for a living?

[1296] A researcher?

[1297] Yeah, public health researcher.

[1298] Okay.

[1299] Okay.

[1300] It was at all the 163 ,000?

[1301] 133 ,000 with student loans.

[1302] Okay.

[1303] What was the other 30?

[1304] Um, a car that I bought myself for graduating.

[1305] Oh, we celebrated.

[1306] Yes.

[1307] I got 130 ,000 in debt.

[1308] I'm going to celebrate with another 30.

[1309] Yeah.

[1310] Yeah.

[1311] Yeah.

[1312] Very cool.

[1313] Okay.

[1314] So, what?

[1315] happened how'd you find this ramsie people stuff and start doing this stuff 29 months ago the man over here the man over here oh there he is um yeah so when we first started dating i would say maybe like four months into our relationship he sat me down and started talking about finances and i do not talk about finances i'm not from a family that talks about it and he asked me how much that i had and i was like okay these are not the questions god knows you know um and so i told him how much I had in student loan debt and he was like oh I like Cuba's debt freeze like I'm not prepared to really be married into debt and I was like okay well clearly what you're telling me is you don't want to be married because there's no way I can pay off all that money and he introduced me to to Dave Ramsey and the baby steps and I just I was like okay if I'm going to do this I'm going to actually do this so I just from that conversation I realized I needed to get a higher paying job.

[1316] I left my job at a university, found another job, and started working two jobs to be able to pay off the debt.

[1317] Wow.

[1318] And I think I may see a ring.

[1319] Yes.

[1320] So did he say it worked?

[1321] Did he say it worked?

[1322] The traction's going.

[1323] So I'm going to propose.

[1324] Oh, my.

[1325] Okay.

[1326] So after I paid off my debt that weekend, we went to celebrate paying off my debt.

[1327] And you proposed.

[1328] Oh, okay.

[1329] Yeah.

[1330] So you're newly engaged.

[1331] newly engaged yeah man he's hardcore he is hardcore I wish you had another microphone I would I would want to interview him I'm like so many questions was it really that no that's so great though good for you and honestly just doing it for yourself I'm like yes that's amazing and to think that you went from this this will never be paid off what are you talking about to a little over two years it's really intense it was a lot of sacrifices very intense I didn't realize like the emotional toll that paying off my debt would actually have um what do you mean so i i assumed like you know you click the submit button on your payments and you just keep it pushing um but knowing like the sacrifices that you have to make when it comes to saying no to friends and family um i also move from philadelphia to a smaller town um to lower my cost of living and being away from friends and family in philadelphia was also a little bit isolating um throughout the process but i mean the emotions of like okay this i need to get this done and i'm a very get things done girl so um right when i set my mind to it i was like okay so you didn't you didn't uh you're you're such an intellectual academic type with your phd that you thought this was an intellectual exercise oh my gosh gosh yes you hit the submit button that was you suddenly realized freedom is not an intellectual exercise no yeah i thought it was just you know you make your payment you keep it pushing but that's pretty cool that's pretty cool that's a beautiful picture i like that very cool you're amazing great great great a great smile she's got i know so beautiful okay so when you think back over those two years what was like the biggest thing that really helped you on this journey if someone's listening right now what would you tell them like here are one or two things that you have to do in order to do it in this this intensely because it's impressive you went for it yeah yeah i think the motivation for my now fiance then boyfriend was very helpful.

[1332] I think you have to be very intentional.

[1333] I think doing it like half piecing things together is not going to get it done.

[1334] There were a lot of times where I'm like, okay, I want to kind of quit, but knowing that I am intentional, I put together a budget, I had spreadsheets of how long it would take me, what my payments would be every single month, making sure I'm like checking it off.

[1335] Like, I made this payment.

[1336] I made this payment.

[1337] And then like celebrating the small wins, I think was really important because if I was just, okay, I got the car out the way, I got this loan out the way and just kept on going, it would have been exhausting and just being able to be like, okay, I had this $5 ,000 loan.

[1338] I just paid off.

[1339] Yay, okay.

[1340] Let's move on to the $10 ,000.

[1341] Let's move on to the $15 ,000.

[1342] And then at the very end, I had $107 ,000 in federal loans, and that was probably the hardest one to pay off because it was all together.

[1343] But I had celebrated so many of my small wins and, like, the steps that, it kind of was like, oh, you did that already.

[1344] So what is this?

[1345] Like, let's do this.

[1346] It's just 100, well, not just 100.

[1347] But it's just 100.

[1348] Compared, yeah.

[1349] Way to go.

[1350] Thank you.

[1351] You're amazing.

[1352] What a hero.

[1353] Thank you.

[1354] So when you graduated from high school, were you validatorian?

[1355] Oh, no, no, no. I am an accidental academic.

[1356] I had no intention of even honestly going to undergrad for my college degree.

[1357] I was like, okay, I graduated high school.

[1358] That's good.

[1359] And I decided to get my undergrad degree.

[1360] I stumbled into my master's degree, and someone encouraged me to go for my Ph .D. So that was not the path I envisioned at all for myself and ended up doing all of it.

[1361] So I think for, I think that that was kind of how I viewed a lot of the debt -free payments.

[1362] Like, I had overcome so much just to get to where I was.

[1363] And I was like, oh, okay, I could definitely do this.

[1364] I've done stuff, exactly.

[1365] One more hurdle.

[1366] I did this.

[1367] I mean, I got a PhD.

[1368] I got a master's.

[1369] I can knock out a little bit of debt.

[1370] A little bit of debt.

[1371] I can do it.

[1372] You're amazing.

[1373] Thank you.

[1374] So great.

[1375] Did you do any side hustles to up the income during it?

[1376] Or did you?

[1377] Was it mostly just salary?

[1378] Yeah, it was.

[1379] Actually, it was all of it was salary.

[1380] So I was working two jobs at the time.

[1381] I was, I had a job on the West Coast and a job on the East Coast.

[1382] I would wake up early, do my job on the East Coast, then start my job on the West Coast.

[1383] coast to be able to like juggle both of the the different jobs and I was very excited when I paid off my debt because like turned in my two week notice I was like I can't do this anymore I'm done I'm done oh that's so great do you have a wedding date yes next year October 24th 2025 okay we're so excited thank you thank you well done well done proud of you I know he is obviously who else was cheering you on I honestly I think I was introducing my friends to this.

[1384] So it wasn't necessary.

[1385] It was like education and bringing people into the fold.

[1386] A lot of my friends also have a lot of student loans.

[1387] So having conversations with them of my journey, the importance of paying it off.

[1388] And I was able to have those type of conversations and get them to a place where they wanted to also start paying off their debt, which is really exciting.

[1389] That's awesome.

[1390] That's awesome.

[1391] Sam from Allentown.

[1392] She's amazing.

[1393] 163 ,000 paid off in 29 months, making 53 to 155.

[1394] Count it down.

[1395] Let's hear a debt -free scream.

[1396] Three, two, one, I'm deaf free!

[1397] Woo -hoo!

[1398] Look at that, ladies and gentlemen.

[1399] That's what a hero looks like.

[1400] This is the Ramsey Show.

[1401] Our scripture of the day, Isaiah 55, 8, and 9, for my thoughts are not your thoughts.

[1402] Neither are your ways, my ways, declares the Lord.

[1403] As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways, and my thoughts than your thoughts.

[1404] Mary Kay Ash said a mediocre idea that generates enthusiasm will go further than a great idea that inspires no one.

[1405] Austin is with us in Cedar Rapids, Iowa.

[1406] Hi, Austin.

[1407] Welcome to the Ramsey Show.

[1408] Hi, how are you today?

[1409] Better than I deserve.

[1410] What's up?

[1411] Hey, I've got a question.

[1412] I'm recently married.

[1413] I got married in November.

[1414] congratulations thank you um we have one daughter um she just turned to actually a couple weeks ago and i'm stuck in a hard place right now um where we had a rollover loan that rolled over for an auto car um so i have a 2015 jeep that i'm that i pay like nine hundred and twenty dollars a month on.

[1415] On top of that, we have some credit card debt and we've hit a rock in a hard place.

[1416] You know, I'm 23.

[1417] She's 23 with a two -year -old daughter.

[1418] And I mean, after doing our taxes this year, I really sat down and I looked because I do my own taxes.

[1419] That's one thing that my parents taught me before I moved out.

[1420] So I did my own taxes and combined the two of us.

[1421] We made like $94 ,000 for the year.

[1422] And me and her have absolutely nothing to show for it besides our little family and our daughter.

[1423] And it's real frustrating because I'm not getting anywhere.

[1424] And I need to know what I need to do differently.

[1425] Okay.

[1426] So for you guys, the debt itself, how much do you owe on the car total?

[1427] you told us the car payment, but what do you owe total?

[1428] Sure.

[1429] So I have 38 ,000 that we owe on it yet, and it's a 2015 with 140 ,000 miles on it.

[1430] And how did that end up being a $38 ,000 loan?

[1431] So I personally sold my personal vehicle when I got my job because I have a company vehicle.

[1432] So I eliminated my car payment period.

[1433] Well, so this was all before we had our daughter.

[1434] So we lived together since we've been 18, 17 at that.

[1435] We've been living together since we were 17.

[1436] We dated for five years, and we were kind of on that young and dumb stage.

[1437] So our money spending was, you know, a snap of the finger.

[1438] We did what we wanted.

[1439] Sure.

[1440] How did you buy a car for $38 ,000?

[1441] So we have a good relationship built with our bank.

[1442] because she had rolled her first car, so then she had to roll the money from her first car.

[1443] I mean, she rolled it?

[1444] You mean she wrecked it?

[1445] Correct, yes.

[1446] Okay, and so she got a check for totaling the car, right?

[1447] Correct, but it didn't pay off the loan because it wasn't worth that.

[1448] Oh, okay, so she didn't have gap.

[1449] Okay, and so how much was she in the hole on that?

[1450] so I think they rolled like three or four thousand over into the car she had and then once that we found out we were pregnant and we had the child we turned that car into an SUV for the space and that's where the rollover rolled again so then it turned into instead of three cars, three car loans into this car.

[1451] Negative equity, and that's how you end up with a car that's worth a fourth of what you owe on it.

[1452] Yeah, okay.

[1453] All right.

[1454] It sounds like you've got a great relationship with your bank.

[1455] They screw you pretty regularly.

[1456] Well, so we think it's a good relationship because I can make that phone call and say, hey, you know.

[1457] Yeah, and they just keep loaning your money and they completely messed you over.

[1458] They're just wonderful to you.

[1459] Dude.

[1460] So, awesome.

[1461] Snake bites me. I love it.

[1462] I love it.

[1463] Do it again.

[1464] Okay.

[1465] What other debt, Austin, is there?

[1466] There's the car.

[1467] What else?

[1468] Yeah.

[1469] I was a firm believer in no credit cards.

[1470] We got out on her own.

[1471] I am now renting the house for us.

[1472] We moved out of her mom and dad's house.

[1473] Okay.

[1474] Is there any other debt?

[1475] I had applied for three credit building credit cards because I have four credit.

[1476] Let's just stop.

[1477] Let's just stop.

[1478] Okay.

[1479] You make $94 ,000 a year.

[1480] You guys have no idea.

[1481] where it's going we need to start with that and so let's put you on the every dollar app i'm going to give it to you okay okay and you guys the two of you're going to sit down tonight use that app we'll line you up with it on the phone and you all sit down and lay out a budget and tell every dollar of your income this month before it comes in what to do so it's already scheduled every dollar's already scheduled out for the whole month and you won't get to the end of the year and go Where the crap did 94 ,000 goes?

[1482] Because you're going to tell it what to do before it leaves.

[1483] That's going to change your life.

[1484] And the first thing you're going to tell it what to do is save $1 ,000.

[1485] The second thing you're going to tell it what to do is start paying off your debts as fast as you possibly can.

[1486] And that means you're going to stay out of restaurants.

[1487] Cut up the credit cards.

[1488] You're going to cut up your credit cards.

[1489] And it means you're going to quit buying crap you can't afford.

[1490] And your young and dumb, as you put its season, is over.

[1491] Now you're young and smart.

[1492] Ready to go, ready set go.

[1493] I'm also going to plug you into our class, which 10 million people have been through Austin.

[1494] It's called Financial Peace University.

[1495] I'm going to give it to you.

[1496] If you promise me, you and your young little new wife will watch every stinking lesson and do everything I tell you to do.

[1497] If you do, you'll get out of debt and become wealthy and never again make $94 ,000 and wonder where it went.

[1498] Does that sound good to you?

[1499] Yes, please.

[1500] I appreciate it.

[1501] I've been listening to your show all day, eight hours of work in my earbuds, listening to your guys' podcast all day to day.

[1502] You can do that.

[1503] And, Austin, there's, there's, I've been on hold for two hours.

[1504] Yeah, and Austin, just know that there is hope in this.

[1505] I'm like, there's people literally all over the country and even the world that have started exactly where you are.

[1506] You're normal.

[1507] You are literally the epitome of normal in America, living paycheck to paycheck, making good money and having nothing to show for it, which are your words.

[1508] I mean, that's literally you.

[1509] And there is just a systematic plan and you have to do it specifically, like so intensely, every single step in the right order.

[1510] I think coming to this conclusion, which I feel like you're at because you called, is saying what I've done and what I have chosen to do with money has not worked.

[1511] And when you have that moment to say, what I've done isn't working, I'm going to have to do something totally different.

[1512] And even if it feels uncomfortable, even if there's things in the plan that you're like oh well we're going to kind of do this this way no say we don't know what we're doing so we're going to follow a proven plan and when you become so laser focused in this austin you're going to look up in you know months number one when you start doing a budget and feel in control but the amount of progress you guys can make in the next year or two because it'll be a marathon okay it's going to it's not going to just change overnight it's a marathon in this but you're going to start seeing that progress you really really are but you have to be committed to the actual plan.

[1513] And I think that's where people get in trouble a lot is they try to do their own thing in the midst of trying to, you know, do it.

[1514] So when you guys both lock arms, just be fully committed in this and you really will start seeing progress.

[1515] Yeah.

[1516] She's exactly right.

[1517] Normal in America, 78 % of Americans live paycheck to paycheck with too much month left at the end of the money.

[1518] Credit card debt, car leases, whole life insurance, time.

[1519] shares and a student loan that's been around so long they think it's a pet that's normal in america let's just be real clear normal sucks you don't want to be normal normal's awful the last thing you want to be when normal is failing is normal and austin you're you're just one of many millions of people that live this way and the great news is what Rachel said it's true, you can just decide to change.

[1520] Tada, today.

[1521] You can do it at 21, you can do it at 31, you can do it at 41, you can do it at 51.

[1522] You can even do it at 71.

[1523] People do it all the time.

[1524] When what you're doing isn't working, you need to change.

[1525] And it's the coolest thing happen.

[1526] So we're going to help you, brother.

[1527] You call us back if you've got questions along the way, and don't you deviate one iota from what we're telling you to do.

[1528] Do it exactly.

[1529] Doesn't give us any extra money.

[1530] you do.

[1531] It gives you extra money when you do.

[1532] That puts this hour of the Ramsey show in the books.

[1533] We'll be back with you before you know it.

[1534] In the meantime, remember, there's ultimately only one way to financial peace, and that's to walk daily with the Prince of Peace, Christ Jesus.

[1535] Dr. John Deloney here.

[1536] Mental and emotional health challenges, broken relationships.

[1537] It's all just part of life, but they don't have to define you.

[1538] The Dr. John Deloney's show is here to help.

[1539] It's a caller -driven podcast where you can get practical advice on dealing with anxiety, loneliness, depression, relationship challenges, your kids, and so much more.

[1540] Listen to questions from our callers, or if you're walking through a tough situation and need some help, give me a call.

[1541] You are never meant to do life alone, and that's what this podcast is all about.

[1542] Follow along on Apple, Spotify, YouTube, or the Ramsey Network app.

[1543] Remember, your worth being well.