MFM Minisode 290

[0] This is exactly right.

[1] Hello.

[2] And welcome to my favorite murder.

[3] The mini -sode.

[4] The single -sode.

[5] Yeah, if you want an extra one of these, the mini -minisodes, that's in the fan cult for you.

[6] If you want to watch a video of this episode of the mini -sode, it's also in the fan cult for you.

[7] And if you're kind of like, I'm not sure if I want to see a podcast, we understand.

[8] We understand.

[9] We do.

[10] Of all people.

[11] But Georgia went and got some very expensive of wallpaper for your eyes only.

[12] So I think you need to respect that and get in here.

[13] Should I go first this time?

[14] Do it.

[15] All righty.

[16] This is called College Radio Librarian Story.

[17] Hi, Karen, Georgia and the Battalion of Animals.

[18] There's like Blossom.

[19] Battalion.

[20] My name is Justin and I'm a brand new librarian, graduated with my master's in library and information science during quarantine, and I thought I would share a fun story.

[21] First of all, I wanted to dispel the idea that all, librarians work in public school libraries.

[22] Some from my cohort work in archives helping historians find resources for books.

[23] Some work in the medical field helping organize information for doctors, which sounds very fucking boring.

[24] Some work for lawyers and law firms.

[25] Some work in genealogy.

[26] Some work for art galleries and museums.

[27] And then there's me. I came into the field after working at a record store in Arizona and I wanted to work in music librarianship.

[28] I stood out in my grad program as the only one with acid green hair, painted nails, and tattoos.

[29] But hey, I like being like this and the world just better deal.

[30] My first position on campus was with the college radio station, where I helped shelve and organize the vinyl record collection.

[31] Which sounds freaking awesome.

[32] It was a massive two -story collection full of everything.

[33] It was super cool, but my favorite part were finding notes left behind in the record sleeves.

[34] Love notes, grocery lists, playlist ideas, little small things that remind us of fleeting moments in others' lives.

[35] But then there was the bat.

[36] On one shift, I had, during my first semester, I was doing my cute little librarian thing, and I pulled some old records off the shelf and, all caps, bat, just hanging upside down, sleeping behind a stack of records that probably hadn't moved in years.

[37] I had never had an intimate encounter with a bat before.

[38] Like, do I wake him, her, question mark?

[39] I must have been there for a minute because someone also in the record library came up behind me and asked, why are you frozen like that?

[40] that then startled the bat awake and started flying around the library i a punk -looking gay man squealed as loud as i could and ran in circles trying to avoid it the person who was behind me did the logical thing and left the room and called animal control me the maniac ran and ran in a circle all caps doing nothing productive to help get the bat out i did this for what seemed to be an hour until someone was able to get in and grab the bat So they should run around the room instead of leaving the room.

[41] Just panicking.

[42] Oh, Dustin.

[43] I love it.

[44] We named them Vlad and let him go that night.

[45] How Vlad got in the record library, nobody knows.

[46] Tales of Vlad still echo in the college town.

[47] I'd like to think Vlad was a student who was a vampire and just needed a nap in between classes, but was instead shrieked at by me for an hour.

[48] My hard work in my niche library interest paid off.

[49] I eventually worked at Sirius, and now I work at Sub Pop Records in Seattle.

[50] which is a rad record label, as a librarian and digital operations.

[51] Thank you for the years you've put into this project.

[52] My partner introduced me to MFM during the pandemic, and I was probably listening to an episode while I met Vlad.

[53] Also, your open discussions about mental health gave me awareness on my own mental health issues, and I am now taking meds and going to therapy, Dustin.

[54] Wow, Dustin.

[55] I mean, that was a real profile on Dustin at the end of the day.

[56] Yeah.

[57] It was a bat story.

[58] but it was really a Dustin story.

[59] Yeah, we asked for librarian stories, and we got a Dustin librarian story and a bat one.

[60] We got a Dustin style.

[61] I mean, I do love a little bat just hanging there, but I don't, that's such an odd, very specific, culturally specific animal that I don't know how I'd react.

[62] I think most people would be like, it's cute or something, but it's like, you don't know.

[63] You don't know.

[64] Until you're face -to -face with a little upside -down hanging Dracula.

[65] Sleeping one, but you're like, oh, God, I don't know what's going to happen when I press the awake.

[66] button, like blossom.

[67] Poop.

[68] Nothing.

[69] Oh, she really won't.

[70] Are you okay?

[71] Okay.

[72] You got an I peep.

[73] Okay.

[74] This is crazy.

[75] It says, you won't want to read the subject line.

[76] And then a colon, I hooked up with a murderer.

[77] Good morning, MFM fam.

[78] I'm an awkward elder millennial who's not good at small talk, so I'll jump right in.

[79] It was spring break of my senior year of undergrad.

[80] My roommate and I decided to go to the trashiest beach in South Carolina.

[81] The only people we could round up to go with us were my roommate's brother and a couple of his friends.

[82] We got a super cheap hotel room and lived off a bud light and junk food for a long weekend.

[83] During this weekend, there was a guy there.

[84] We will call him Todd.

[85] He was one of my roommate's brother's friends.

[86] He rolled into the weekend with a wad of cash, mostly big bills.

[87] He was shelling out the cash like there was no. know tomorrow, buying all my drinks at the club.

[88] So, because I am a maker of poor decisions in college, we hooked up.

[89] It was a fun spring break fling, and we never spoke again after that weekend.

[90] Fast forward to the week after we returned, word gets around that a well -known man in my roommate's town has been stabbed to death, the day that we left for spring break.

[91] This man was a landlord in town, and that day he had gone around to collect rent from his tenants, one of those tenants being none other than spring break Todd.

[92] It turns out he had gone to Todd's house that day to collect the rent, and Todd didn't have his rent money.

[93] There was an altercation, and Todd stabbed the landlord 45 times.

[94] Holy shit.

[95] I mean, horrifying.

[96] That's like candy level.

[97] On top of that, he took the cash.

[98] The landlord collected that day, packed up his things, and came on our spring break trip, like nothing ever happened.

[99] So that's the story of how I unintentionally hooked up with a murderer.

[100] Don't worry, I'm totally fine.

[101] I'm actually a licensed therapist now working specifically with survivors of trauma.

[102] I recommend your podcast as a form of self -care to anyone who's asking for tips.

[103] Thanks for all you do to bring awareness to the importance of mental health care.

[104] Stay sexy and don't let someone buy you with murder money, L. Oh my God.

[105] That's like we get we get I dated a murderer like and later they murdered someone, not like the day before.

[106] And that is It's terrifying.

[107] It's terrifying.

[108] It's like a person.

[109] Imagine the energy.

[110] And I'm not criticizing Elle in any way because Elle was on a spring break weekend.

[111] Like, I'm going to have fun no matter what.

[112] Someone's like, I'm going to buy all your drinks and we're going to hook up.

[113] But like that kind of, it's the end of the world's energy.

[114] Oh, right.

[115] Or having just done that.

[116] You're such a narcissist that you're just like, the fact that he could act like have a normal weekend is So chilling.

[117] Yes.

[118] Crazy.

[119] And be charming enough to hook up with someone still, even though you just murdered someone.

[120] It's like unbelievable.

[121] Yeah.

[122] Ooh, you just fucking never know, man. Karen, you know I'm all about vintage shopping.

[123] Absolutely.

[124] And when you say vintage, you mean when you physically drive to a store and actually purchase something with cash.

[125] Exactly.

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[137] Connect with customers inline and online.

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[139] Sign up for a $1 per month trial period at Shopify .com slash murder.

[140] Important note, that promo code is all lowercase.

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[142] That's Shopify .com slash murder.

[143] Goodbye.

[144] Okay, this is a cat who saves lives.

[145] Let's take a left fucking turn.

[146] Greetings and salutations.

[147] I know how much you both love survival stories and cats, so I thought I'd share a cute little ditty.

[148] When I was in fourth grade, my best friend and I kidnapped some kittens from a feral mama cat in the woods, which makes me really sad.

[149] But they were children.

[150] Both our families agreed to let us keep the kittens.

[151] We named our girl sushi, and my friend named her boy, Tinkerbell.

[152] Sadly, Tinkerbell was bitten by a water moccasin and passed away around age four.

[153] We live in North Florida.

[154] Sushi, however, is still kicking and peeing on everything she sees out of spite.

[155] I am 30 years old, so sushi is pushing 20.

[156] Now, let's take it back to when sushi was about three years old.

[157] I was in middle school, and I had a four -year -old baby brother, Chris.

[158] Our family had a swimming pool in the backyard, and our parents let us wander in and out of the house as we pleased.

[159] As long as the back door, which was basically a giant window on hinges, stayed shut.

[160] We aren't air -conditioning the whole goddamn neighborhood, after all.

[161] One quiet, lazy summer day, my mom was doing chores around the house, and she noticed sushi meowing and acting strange.

[162] So my mom stopped what she was doing to stare at the bonkers cat.

[163] It was then that sushi began doing back flips while positioned by the back door.

[164] My mom approached sushi and wondered if perhaps she had had too much catnip.

[165] After a couple moments of standing and staring, my mom took a look out of the glass door to see my little brother drowning in the pool.

[166] Oh, shit.

[167] saved, all thanks to sushi.

[168] While she pees on everything, including my stepdad's bed and pillows, sushi is our Lord and Savior.

[169] We will always be grateful.

[170] Your most loyal murderino, sister duo, Tori and Morgan.

[171] Tori and Morgan, you have a miracle cat.

[172] It's wild.

[173] Cats are the best.

[174] That's so intense.

[175] That cat knew that child was in danger.

[176] Yeah.

[177] Or it had had too much catnip, and it's a fucking coincidence.

[178] But who knows?

[179] But it's a magical Jesus coincidence.

[180] Either way, I'm down.

[181] The subject line of this email is how many bodies are just out in the woods?

[182] Oh, that's a question.

[183] Karen and Georgia.

[184] So, I have quite a few different hometown murders.

[185] I guess I'm just lucky like that.

[186] I only started on your podcast nine months ago, so I haven't caught up yet.

[187] So I'm going to stick with a story that I know you haven't done yet.

[188] How would you know?

[189] You're barely...

[190] Mm -hmm.

[191] I am a mycologist, which is somebody who works with fungi.

[192] Ooh.

[193] Right.

[194] That's like, rad.

[195] I'm obsessed with that.

[196] Okay, go on.

[197] I didn't know that was a thing.

[198] I do a lot of wild foraging for mushrooms, and that means that I walk through the woods in all of the out -of -the -way and unfrequented places.

[199] So far, I have found two different human skeletons.

[200] Wait, what?

[201] Yeah.

[202] How many bodies are actually in the woods and just too far off the beaten path for people to find them, two question marks?

[203] Both of those people died before I was even born, which means that I was not a suspect, but before everything was dated, I was taken in for questioning by two separate police departments in two separate states.

[204] Oh, my God.

[205] I never did find out what ultimately happened in either case, but from the initial questioning, they were both definitely foul play.

[206] They were both completely skeletonized by the time I found them, and I thought the first one was some sort of cow or large animal because the femur was gigantic.

[207] However, I have taken human anatomy, and after poking it with a stick, which I totally should not have done, I quickly realized that it was just a very large person.

[208] The second time, I knew from the start that it was human.

[209] Fun fact, I have found both skeletons within about six months of each other, and no, it has not stopped me from hiking alone in the woods.

[210] Stay sexy and don't get murdered.

[211] Whoa.

[212] Wow.

[213] That's a big wow.

[214] Rad job and crazy stories.

[215] You're by yourself.

[216] Yeah.

[217] Deep in the forest.

[218] Probably don't have cell service or anything, so you have to, like, hike back out to call.

[219] What do you do?

[220] Take pictures, like, put tie ribbons where you are?

[221] I mean, like...

[222] Drop a pin?

[223] I don't know.

[224] Yeah.

[225] Yeah.

[226] All right.

[227] My last one's a patented glitch story.

[228] And it starts, Hi, Friends.

[229] Presumptive, I know.

[230] I was on...

[231] I was on...

[232] I was on...

[233] on my third day of work at a new pharmacy in town I had just moved to when a customer came in who looked familiar.

[234] I asked his name, which also seemed vaguely familiar, but I couldn't place him, so I just gave him his drugs and carried on.

[235] The next day, I saw the name again, and it clicked.

[236] He was, all caps, my fiancé's biological father.

[237] He looked familiar because I share my life with someone who looks just like him.

[238] My fiancé was adopted at birth, and while we'd seen a photo of his father in his 20s and knew his name, his father always kept my fiance's existence a secret.

[239] So there's been no interaction between my partner and him.

[240] While it's a bummer that he doesn't want to know his incredible biological son, at least I now know some of my partner's familial medical history and can take comfort in knowing that my partner is going to be pretty hot as an older guy.

[241] But wait, there's more.

[242] Around this same time, my partner took a 23 -and -me DNA test.

[243] He messaged both his biological mother and and father on Facebook to warn them that he'd taken the test in case they didn't want any family members finding out about him.

[244] While his father never responded, his biological mother immediately replied, I've been waiting for this day for your entire life and I can't believe you message now.

[245] While she lives in England, she was literally five miles away from us for the next three days, helping take care of her mother's estate who had just passed away.

[246] My fancy got to meet her over those three days, something he never thought he'd be able to do and was reminded how lucky he was to have been raised by his parents because she's full -blown Q and on.

[247] He now enjoys a blissfully long -distance relationship with her and the experiences he had with his biological parents have helped strengthen his relationship with his actual parents, the one who've been there for him every day of his life.

[248] I'll always be grateful for y 'all as your podcast was the first point of reconnecting with a high school friend who has now become my very closest friend.

[249] She just completed medical school after returning to school in her 30s in the midst of a pandemic like the absolute badass she is.

[250] Hi, Mia.

[251] Thank you for creating a community where supporting other women is the norm.

[252] Mental health is a priority and no one is ever weird for talking about murder.

[253] Stay sexy and remember that the universe isn't always just random trash, Sarah, she, her.

[254] Sarah, I really like that synopsis of this podcast.

[255] That is the dream.

[256] That is the goal.

[257] You're telling us that we're delivering our dreams and goals on time and with good marks.

[258] I'm very excited to hear that.

[259] That is really crazy, too.

[260] And I love the idea that it's like, yes, you should, if you want to, you should completely seek out your biological parents.

[261] But the idea that it's like, and now I love my actual parents even more.

[262] Totally.

[263] Totally.

[264] And treasure that relationship and have, like, appreciation is.

[265] a lovely kind of end of that story.

[266] It really is.

[267] Do you have one more?

[268] Uh -huh.

[269] The subject line of this is the first and last time my partner operated the roller coaster.

[270] When my partner was a teenager, it just gets right into it.

[271] Love it.

[272] Full respect.

[273] When my partner was a teenager, he worked at his local amusement park every summer.

[274] It wasn't six flags huge, but it did have a single roller coaster and a few fair -like rides available with a small water park section just to paint the picture.

[275] One summer, he was assigned to the roller coaster, doing harness safety checks and picking up items left in seats, loading and unloading folks, et cetera, et cetera.

[276] It can be quite a monotonous job.

[277] The manager of the ride approached and asked if he wanted to try out operating the roller coaster for a change.

[278] This task was basically two parts.

[279] One, you amp up the riders for their adventure with some version of, if you're ready to ride, make some noise.

[280] And two, press the launch button.

[281] and send them off.

[282] Oh, dear.

[283] That's the whole job.

[284] Okay.

[285] What you have to know about my partner is that he's generally quiet, but deadly funny.

[286] He agrees he wants to take a shot, and he steps up to the podium.

[287] Over the speaker to the now fully loaded and safety -checked passengers, he says, if you're excited to go on this ride, I want you to remain completely silent.

[288] He waited a beat, and then he hit the launch button, shooting the dead silent and generally confused park -goers into their first loop.

[289] That was the first and last time he was ever asked to operate the roller coaster and then this is like an entered down separate line like with the space.

[290] I really love him.

[291] Aww.

[292] Mary, she hurts.

[293] That's adorable.

[294] If you're stoked to go on this ride, I want you to remain completely silent.

[295] Boom.

[296] I thought he was going to say something like, hey, your seatbelts aren't working.

[297] Boom.

[298] So many ways to mess with people, but to like repress them as they go is so funny to me. Classic.

[299] I love it.

[300] So hilarious.

[301] I love silently funny people.

[302] Quietly funny.

[303] The best.

[304] Also people that are acting like they're not being funny.

[305] Right.

[306] But they are being funny.

[307] Right.

[308] Souteltie.

[309] I kind of can't control myself around people like that.

[310] Yeah.

[311] Hey, are you someone like that?

[312] Hey.

[313] Tell us your story about it.

[314] My Favorite Murder at Gmail or someone you know that has a quietly funny.

[315] walks out of the room, mic drop story.

[316] Do you have one of those?

[317] Tell us.

[318] All those people that are like that would be like, no, thanks.

[319] No, I don't have one.

[320] Tell us your dad or your mom who's like that.

[321] Tell us their story.

[322] Tell us why you love your partner or husband.

[323] Right.

[324] You love that.

[325] Or girlfriend or wife, whatever.

[326] Whatever thing you have going on, you know we want to hear about it.

[327] We do.

[328] All the hot goss.

[329] Now stay sexy.

[330] And don't get murdered.

[331] Goodbye.

[332] Goodbye.

[333] Elvis, do you want a cookie?

[334] This has been an exactly right production.

[335] Our senior producer is Hannah Kyle Crichton.

[336] Our producer is Alejandra Keck.

[337] This episode was engineered and mixed by Stephen Ray Morris.

[338] Our researcher is Gemma Harris.

[339] Email your hometowns and fucking hoorays to My Favorite Murder at gmail .com.

[340] Follow the show on Instagram and Facebook at My Favorite Murder and Twitter at MyFave Murder.

[341] Goodbye.

[342] Follow My Favorite Murder on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you like to listen to you, don't miss an episode.

[343] If you like what you hear, rate and review the show.

[344] Visit exactly right store .com to purchase my favorite murder merch.