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[0] This is exactly right.
[1] Hey, this is exciting.
[2] An all -new season of only murders in the building is coming to Hulu on August 27th.
[3] Steve Martin, Martin Short, and Selena Gomez are back as your favorite podcaster, detectives.
[4] But there's a mystery hanging over everyone.
[5] Who killed Saz?
[6] And were they really after Charles?
[7] Why would someone want to kill Charles?
[8] This season, murder hits close to home.
[9] With a threat against one of their own, the stakes are higher than ever.
[10] Plus, the gang is going to Hollywood to turn their podcast into a major movie.
[11] Amid the glitz and glamour of Los Angeles, more mysteries and twists arise.
[12] Who knows what will happen once the cameras start to roll?
[13] Get ready for the stariest season yet with Merrill Streep, Zach Alfinacus, Eugene Levy, Eva Longoria, Melissa McCarthy, DeVine, Joy Randolph, Molly Shannon, and more.
[14] Only Martyrs in the Building, premieres August 27th, streaming only on Hulu.
[15] Goodbye.
[16] Hi, Karen.
[17] Hi, Georgia.
[18] Welcome Karen and Georgia to my...
[19] favorite murder minisode that's right this is the episode that's shorter than the other episodes because you don't have time right now just a little bit of time yeah you're just like a quick little treadmill you're trying to just jump into some some kind of a 32 minute uh what would it be a trampoline session trampoline session some interval training uh some staring some hard staring at the wall you know trying to go to sleep at night um trying to get up the morning you know trying just as a trying really hard trying for like 28 minutes it's getting shorter and shorter you know how like for 21 minutes all you want to do you know for the next seven minutes you are going to focus okay this is the minisodes where you guys send in your hometown murders or your familial murders or people you know things that happened to them and we read them back to you that's right that's right my favorite murder at gmail are you ready to start ready I'm going to start with what says number two in the number one spot, Stephen.
[20] She just glared, I mean, glared at Stephen.
[21] God.
[22] She had those bright blue eyes, raise her cheekbones.
[23] I'm relying on these numbers.
[24] I don't know what's going on in this page.
[25] Who is that one newscaster that had that kind of breakdown?
[26] Well, I guess there's been a lot.
[27] Like about teleprompter not working correctly?
[28] It was like, oh, maybe it was the Bill O 'Reilly one.
[29] Did you see that one where he snaps?
[30] Anyway.
[31] All right.
[32] Number two.
[33] Pythons, rabbits and dead bodies, lighthearted.
[34] Okay, MFFM family.
[35] Thank you so much for doing the podcast.
[36] I listen to you while I do field work and you always put a smile on my face.
[37] Even when I'm being attacked by mosquitoes.
[38] Oh, you know that 15 minutes when you have field work to do?
[39] Yes.
[40] When you go outside and step around in the field, do some high steps in the field.
[41] I will be at the Orlando show.
[42] So hopefully I will have a chance.
[43] tell the story in person.
[44] Sorry, dude.
[45] Goodbye.
[46] This hometown story is from my master's research in the Everglades, along with many other bat -shit insane things.
[47] Florida has a huge invasive species problem.
[48] The craziest one of these may be Burmese pythons.
[49] What the fuck?
[50] Oh, God, Florida.
[51] Did you know that?
[52] I'm not surprised.
[53] Snakes that grow over 18 feet long and weigh over 200 pounds.
[54] I know.
[55] It's too much for a snake.
[56] 18 feet long.
[57] 200 pounds.
[58] Oh shit, girl.
[59] They have decimated wildlife populations in the Everglades and can eat deer and even alligator.
[60] Are these the ones where people buy babies out with them and then they're like, oh shit, and they're like, let it go.
[61] And flush it down the toilet.
[62] I hope so.
[63] From 2013 to 2014, I studied how pythons affect mammals by tracking rabbits.
[64] I put radios on rabbits and followed them around with tracking equipment to see if they ended up eaten by a snake.
[65] Up until that point, I was like, it's Alice at Wonderland.
[66] She's just felt wonderful.
[67] Oh, that's so sad.
[68] Yeah, just witnessing a lot of rabbit side.
[69] Okay, rabbits being nocturnal, I did a fair bit of solo work in the park.
[70] I felt safe.
[71] Oh, my God, Stephen.
[72] Cut that belch out.
[73] Steven, you got to give Karen the Diet Coke's after we record.
[74] Stephen, stop trying to humiliate me on national radio.
[75] Like the nicest thing he does and we just turn it into a...
[76] Presents me a beautiful Diet Coke.
[77] With a ribbon on it.
[78] Every episode with a small basket of Jordan Allman's inside, the loveliest gift.
[79] Jordan Alman's, those poor things.
[80] How did those get started as the thing you are given?
[81] I don't know.
[82] They're so fucking gross.
[83] They're disgusting.
[84] Do you like...
[85] Okay, here's a thing.
[86] Weddings.
[87] Do you like in your M &M's the candy part?
[88] well then here's a Jordan almond and here's the thing did you I knew someone who would crack them open and just eat the almonds out of them but it's at that point like buy some almonds was it a squirrel oh yeah I forgot to add that part oh that's right that's right that's why she didn't talk someone okay okay so she felt safe I felt say oh I'm assuming she sorry I felt safe and Park Dispatch would keep track of me I would call in on the park ranger would know I was working.
[89] After a few months of one of my rabbits picked up and moved out to the western edge of the park.
[90] That side of Everglades National Park is boarded by a long canal and road.
[91] The road leads to a missile manufacturing and testing site that was abandoned in 1969.
[92] What's that stranger things?
[93] The fucking plot, isn't this the plot?
[94] Or like Omega Man?
[95] I mean like it's all like what radioactive fill in the blank is wandering around this fucking place waiting for you to show up with your shirt tied underneath your boots.
[96] So cute.
[97] Right?
[98] Jump out of your Jeep.
[99] Short shorts, but like big boots.
[100] Yes.
[101] Just because she's a scientist.
[102] Yeah.
[103] Or he.
[104] Um, okay.
[105] This site looks like something out of an apocalyptic zombie movie.
[106] Run down covered in graffiti.
[107] You know the vibe.
[108] The rabbit swarm the canal and settled in the scrub next to the missile silo.
[109] I kept tracking it and even would head out there alone during my night tracks.
[110] This area was outside of the park and I got permission from the landowner to be on the property but did not tell the police or the park rangers i was going out there great perfect all of this thank you for this perfect setup to the horror movie to the second horror movie we're now going to try one night in november i was tracking the rabbit around 2 .45 a and was walking along the road near the zombie base all of a sudden i had a police spotlight on me the cop yelled at me asking what i was doing there the park service and local police don't always communicate so i tried to calmly explain that i was a researcher and on my permit and my car and he yelled no what are you doing here you can't be here this is a crime scene.
[111] Apparently, over the last few months, two bodies had been found in the canal near the missile silo with the most recent just days before.
[112] The body of 18 -year -old Jesus Trejo was found in the canal on September 5th, and Christian McKenzie, 21, was found dead from gunshot wounds near the same remote area on November 15th.
[113] Police say people often use the area for target practice because it's so remote.
[114] I guess that makes it a good place to dump dead bodies.
[115] The Trejo murder remains unsolved and the McKenzie murder was cold until 2015 when Juan Salgado was charged with second degree murder with a deadly weapon, third degree grand theft, third degree grand theft with a firearm, and third degree grand theft with a vehicle.
[116] Suffice to say, I was told to give up on tracking that rabbit.
[117] It was just one rabbit.
[118] Do do do do do do.
[119] Oh shit.
[120] The one rogue rabbit gets are all like almost.
[121] The rabbit did it.
[122] Um, okay.
[123] that's fucked up in scientific papers you need to give a reason why some animals are dropped from the project in official publications this rabbit quote moved out of the study area but now you are in on the overly honest field method that the real reason the rabbit was dropped is because it moved into zombie missile silo murder scene oh my god thankfully I stayed sexy did not get murdered SSDGMA wow that was quite a letter that was incredible yes I really really really want a tour of that missile silo yes or now when we go to florida a hundred percent but it has to be during the day oh fuck yeah could you even go there at night no that would be like okay this is stupid like it would be funny how stupid it is i would just be screaming at a low level the entire time just in the background uh they just start there and the whole car ride there it's like i think it's haunted you hear that no it's just karen's low level screaming karen can't stop moaning she really doesn't like it.
[124] I told you how scared I got in the corn maze.
[125] Yeah.
[126] Like, I always think I'm into things like that.
[127] And then as it's starting, I'm just like, no. I don't trust anyone.
[128] This isn't my thing.
[129] No. I'm excited for Florida because there's just so much going on.
[130] There really is.
[131] My Orlando murder, I'm like stoked on it.
[132] But it might be my Tampa murder.
[133] I can't remember.
[134] Anyways, here we go.
[135] Okay.
[136] This is called hometown murder, Tampa, Florida.
[137] Great.
[138] Hey, gals.
[139] I'm so excited.
[140] You guys are coming to my hometown.
[141] On a side note, we currently have a serial killer that has shot three random people in the last week, a mile from my residence.
[142] Whoa.
[143] But that's not my hometown murder.
[144] Oh.
[145] It's so crazy that we're going to like an active serial killer territory.
[146] It's unbelievable.
[147] I can't wait to see what happens with that case.
[148] They're going to get him.
[149] It's a guy walking around shooting people.
[150] They have him on video.
[151] Yeah.
[152] It's really sad.
[153] Okay.
[154] So I currently live in Tampa, Florida.
[155] but I grew up in a small town in North Florida called Sneeds.
[156] If they say it's Sned's, I'm going to be fucking pissed off because it's spelled Sneed.
[157] Because there's seven E's.
[158] It's S -N -E -A -D -S.
[159] That's Sneed.
[160] Yeah, 100%.
[161] Sneeds has one four -way stop, a caution light, four gas stations, and about 19 churches.
[162] I grew up on the corner of Curly and Howell Road.
[163] Howell is my grandmother's maiden name and Curly is her married name.
[164] So yes, it's a true small town.
[165] In the 70s, my aunt Curley went missing for 10 months until her body was eventually found across the Georgia state line in a national forest.
[166] She was 17 years old and my mom, her younger sister, was 15.
[167] My grandfather was the warden of the state prison in our town.
[168] It did not and did his own investigation.
[169] So I have these notes and copies of the official investigation notes from the Georgia Bureau of Investigation.
[170] That's the word investigation.
[171] Yes.
[172] The case is still unsolved, but there was only one main suspect that held the focus.
[173] on the investigation.
[174] They also looked into Ted Bundy because she went missing around the time he was in Tallahassee, murdering Chai Omega's.
[175] The day Angie went missing, she received a phone call at the beauty shop she worked at from a mail caller.
[176] The shop owner who asked the caller was when she got off the phone, and Angie replied, Just some guy who always wants me to fix his relationship when his wife is mad at him.
[177] Angie had a friend named Valicia French, and it was pretty well known that every time she and her husband Ray would fight he would call Angie and ask her to talk to Valicia so she would forgive him for whatever he had done that time um Belicia told authority she believed Ray killed Angie because he came home the night she went missing covered in blood and scratches he claimed he was in the woods squirrel hunting and the blood and scratches were from bushes and branches which we know is not a thing he disposed of the clothes he was wearing that night and so investigators only had his wife's testimony and the phone call from the male collar at the beauty shop.
[178] This was a 70, so I have no idea how much phone records played into the investigation.
[179] Strangely enough, when I was reading the investigator's reports, I came across an interview titled Tony Barnes.
[180] That's my father.
[181] In the interview, they asked him about dating Valicia and his relationship with Tony, with Ray French.
[182] My dad said he had only met Ray once, and his involvement with Valicia was years before she married Ray, but he did remember in high school, Ray was going around telling people he shot himself in his arm because he wanted to know what it felt like.
[183] Your face.
[184] Questions.
[185] I can see them.
[186] First of all, that's horrifying.
[187] Because I bet it hurts way worse than you imagine.
[188] I was wondering what part of horrifying you were talking about.
[189] Yeah.
[190] So it shows a level of stupidity that if it's true, it's shocking.
[191] Stupidity and not being able to reason having no reasoning skills yeah just having an idea and then going for it but that's a high school boys are made of that's true but this is that's in particular is like being crazy because you don't you do things that like give you plus risky things to give you pleasure not risky things to like that could kill you could kill you and also just it's only pain it's just a let you're trying to figure it a level of pain totally and it's going to be okay okay so we know what's going on so far right Yes.
[192] Okay.
[193] My dad said he was crazy and he tried to stay away from crazy people.
[194] Don't we all?
[195] Okay.
[196] For nearly 30 years, Ray was the only person my family believed to have, would have killed Angie.
[197] They received many leads over the years, but those were mostly attention seekers wanting to claim responsibility for her murder.
[198] In the early 2000s, Angie's ex -boyfriend, Mike Lender, was arrested for domestic abuse and attempted murder of his girlfriend.
[199] Mike was that guy for Angie, the one she was in love with at the young age of 17.
[200] He was arrested because, as he got into a fight with his current girlfriend, knocked her out, and she woke up on the floorboard of his truck as he was unlocking the gate to 40 acres of forest -filled land he owned.
[201] Oh, fuck.
[202] Morning.
[203] Holy shit.
[204] Dude.
[205] You're just like, oh, what are these?
[206] I can see all the stars.
[207] We're so far away from the city?
[208] This is gorgeous.
[209] Hold on a second.
[210] She managed to get out of the truck and run to the nearest neighbor for help.
[211] Fuck.
[212] Before he knocked her out, he said he had killed three other women, and he was, was not afraid to do it again the day he was supposed to stand trial he didn't show up for court and he was found on the side of the road in his truck dead from an overdose a local reporter who has done her own investigations into the case that he was such an evil person she stops by mike's grave every so often just to make sure he's still in the ground whoa can't wait to see you in a few weeks but until then don't get murdered lee holy shit yeah that was like a carson mccullors novel who did it who did it i mean i think he did it That last guy.
[213] Mm -hmm.
[214] Search that forest area.
[215] Well, they found...
[216] Did they find our body?
[217] Yeah.
[218] But, blah, blah, blah, but...
[219] Yeah.
[220] And went missing until her body was eventually found across the Georgia State Line in the national forest.
[221] Oh, okay.
[222] But that's not what he owned that he was bringing that woman to.
[223] No. I'm guessing not, but I'm sure there's other bodies in there anyways.
[224] I just think we should dig it up.
[225] Let's check.
[226] Listen, we're canceling three shows.
[227] we have this weekend in Florida.
[228] We're going to instead, everyone come to the National Forest, whatever the fuck this guy's shit is.
[229] It's just going to be some private land.
[230] It's a little risky.
[231] Bring a digging implement, maybe some snacks, some orange slices.
[232] Some saltine.
[233] Some saltine and orange slices.
[234] Maybe a little 7 -Up or ginger ale.
[235] Yeah.
[236] You know?
[237] This is a first responder story.
[238] Hey, Karen, Georgia, Stephen, and friends.
[239] My name is Eric, and I'm a college student in Northern Alabama, where I got hooked on at MFM during a long commute.
[240] I had after classes from my college town to my hometown for work.
[241] Listening to you guys made it feel like hanging out with friends rather than the semi -loney car ride, which it was.
[242] Oh, my God, Eric.
[243] Car rides are a time to think and fart.
[244] That's...
[245] In silence.
[246] And pretend you're hanging out with people who can't hear you when you talk.
[247] Or fart.
[248] Hi.
[249] Hope you...
[250] Or fart.
[251] Hope you enjoy this first responder story.
[252] Yes, please.
[253] A classic.
[254] Okay.
[255] August 27th, 1988.
[256] 88 and then it says in asterisk dollop style shout out yep so i should have yelled that at the top of my lungs like dave anthony but i'm not going back okay my friend was working uh a 24 hour paramedic shift in tampa florida 24 hours yeah i don't want that person working on me well no because they're then they're all super charged up to like resuscitate you okay it's good they're just on tons of speed and they just want to resuscitate the fuck out of you they want to bring you're like i'm awake bro I'm not even...
[257] My leg is broken.
[258] I'm sussitated.
[259] You don't need to re -escitate me. I'm fully sussitated.
[260] Okay.
[261] My leg is broken.
[262] Okay.
[263] They got a call to a Vietnam veteran's house outside the city.
[264] When they get there, they're informed that the man has PTSD and has shot out the lights in his home and is in a panic because he thinks his wife is in danger because in his head, she's somewhere in the war zone with him.
[265] Can you imagine shooting all the lights out in your...
[266] Like that to me. is a fucking nightmare sentence.
[267] It's so horrible.
[268] It's so awful.
[269] Okay.
[270] No, no. The vet was apparently a very big man, so the police were having a hard time controlling him and were afraid of what he might do to them or the wife even accidentally.
[271] My dad becomes the total hero of the story as he steps in with the idea to use his paramedic uniform to their advantage by convincing the vet that he is the commanding officer.
[272] Keep in mind, That is only five, six.
[273] So he decided to try to participate in the man's reality because physical restraint was not an option.
[274] Oh, my God.
[275] He approaches the man and points to the EMT patches on his uniform and yells, saying that he is his commanding officer and he has been sent to give him the orders, even shouting, are you going to do what I say or not?
[276] I'm going to give it a Southern accent.
[277] I love it.
[278] Do it.
[279] The man jumps into action.
[280] Let's go of his wife and immediately gets into the back of the ambulance.
[281] In the end, he was able to get the help he needed.
[282] and his wife even wrote my dad a letter a few weeks later thanking him for what he did to save her and help her husband needless to say if I'm ever on a cult I definitely need to call my dad thanks for podcasting and podcasting well Eric that's so awesome wow what a smart what a like smart person I don't know what to say other than that yeah well it also reminds me of the very first mind hunter I was just thinking about that right where the cops being all like agro and then the mind hunter guy is like, hey, maybe we don't.
[283] Yeah, but he still killed himself.
[284] Yeah, but he didn't killed the lady.
[285] Come on.
[286] Let's upside it.
[287] I don't know, man. I don't know.
[288] We got stuff to talk about about mine hunter.
[289] We need to peel it apart.
[290] I don't want to say anything bad because the lead actor, like, gave us a shout out in an interview.
[291] Yeah, that's right.
[292] I don't want to be like.
[293] You legally cannot say anything bad.
[294] Anytime someone says anything, he didn't even say anything nice about us.
[295] He just brought it up.
[296] I'm not allowed to say anything.
[297] Yeah, that's right.
[298] We are bound by the honor, the Hollywood honor system.
[299] Not many people.
[300] people know that there is a thing called the Hollywood honor system it's the Hollywood honor system it's a very much very similar to being an Eagle Scout where when you take the oath of Hollywood honor um you don't shit on others who have not shit on you right is that the who had a chance to shit on you it didn't right I don't know my mom told me not to go to an interview with Harvey Weinstein today Georgia yes it's not gonna A you're like it's already it's already a you're like it's already on the books.
[301] So I'm not canceling it.
[302] I can't cancel.
[303] You know that.
[304] Can't cancel.
[305] And then she got to go, mom, are you fucking kidding?
[306] And she goes, well, if you do bring Vince.
[307] She's out of her mind.
[308] Okay.
[309] She's about 15 years too late.
[310] Hey, this is exciting.
[311] An all new season of only murders in the building is coming to Hulu on August 27th.
[312] Steve Martin, Martin Short, and Selena Gomez are back as your favorite podcaster detectives.
[313] But there's a mystery hanging over everyone.
[314] Who killed Sass?
[315] And were they really after Charles?
[316] Why would someone want to kill Charles?
[317] This season, murder hits close to home.
[318] With a threat against one of their own, the stakes are higher than ever.
[319] Plus, the gang is going to Hollywood to turn their podcast into a major movie.
[320] Amid the glitz and glamour of Los Angeles, more mysteries and twists arise.
[321] Who knows what will happen once the cameras start to roll?
[322] Get ready for the stariest season yet with Merrill Streep, Zach Alfenakis, Eugene Levy, Eva Longoria, Melissa McCarthy, DeVine, Joy Randolph, Molly Shannon, and more.
[323] Only Martyrs in the Building, premieres August 27th, streaming only on Hulu.
[324] Goodbye.
[325] Karen, you know I'm all about vintage shopping.
[326] Absolutely.
[327] And when you say vintage, you mean when you physically drive to a store and actually purchase something with cash?
[328] Exactly.
[329] And if you're a small business owner, you might know Shopify is great for online sales.
[330] But did you know that they also power in -person sales?
[331] That's right.
[332] Shopify is the sound of selling everywhere.
[333] Online, in -store, on social media, and beyond.
[334] Give your point -of -sale system a serious upgrade with Shopify.
[335] From accepting payments to managing inventory, they have everything you need to sell in person.
[336] So give your point -of -sale system a serious upgrade with Shopify.
[337] Their sleek, reliable POS hardware takes every major payment method and looks fabulous at the same time.
[338] With Shopify, we have a powerful partner for managing our sales, and if you're a business owner, you can't too.
[339] Connect with customers inline and online.
[340] Do retail right with Shopify.
[341] Sign up for a $1 per month trial period at Shopify .com slash murder.
[342] Important note, that promo code is all lowercase.
[343] Go to Shopify .com slash murder to take your retail business to the next level today.
[344] That's Shopify .com slash murder.
[345] Goodbye.
[346] Okay.
[347] Where was I?
[348] This is called Almost Murdered on a Road Trip.
[349] Oh.
[350] Hello to the MFM crew.
[351] These are fucking great entrances this week.
[352] Clean.
[353] Clean.
[354] Concise.
[355] Accurate.
[356] Yes.
[357] Spelling is correct.
[358] So I'll get right to this.
[359] About a year ago, I was driving on my first long trip alone.
[360] From Florida to North Carolina, I was listening to an MFM for my road trip, of course, when I pulled off the highway for gas.
[361] I drove up to a crappy shell station where there was nothing else on the highway.
[362] I got out and noticed the only cars were mine and a red Kia wagon with no driver at the pump.
[363] I started pumping in a few moments later.
[364] A dude walked out of the convenience store.
[365] Just by the look on his face, I got an immediate chill down my.
[366] spine.
[367] I felt almost, it felt almost primal.
[368] My sudden need to get out.
[369] This dude was creepy as hell, singing to himself and smiling at me. Oh, what a combination.
[370] What do you think he was singing.
[371] Uh, my duper suddenly appear.
[372] It's just a bigger smile, though.
[373] Just crazy eyes.
[374] Every time.
[375] Just like all whites of eyes.
[376] Oh, Jesus Christ.
[377] So here's where the story gets really unbelievable and effed up.
[378] This dude grabbed the gas hose from the pump and started pumping gas, all caps, onto the ground around his car.
[379] Oh, the whole time he looked at me smiling.
[380] Seriously, what the fuck?
[381] My heart was racing and I felt like I was going to throw up.
[382] Then, much to my disbelief, the man put the hose back and started making his way towards me. Oh, my God.
[383] Oh, my God.
[384] Gasoline around his car walking towards you after smiling and singing at you.
[385] Yes or no. Are you okay with this?
[386] I think the answer might be no. I heard your voices shouting, fuck politeness at me as I promptly, well, she wrote F politeness, which is so cute.
[387] I love that.
[388] Yeah, me, which I, um, as I promptly pulled the hose from my car and ran into my car, ran to my car door locking myself in.
[389] The man continued walking towards me as I sped off heart racing.
[390] Too much of this was too creepy for me to assume this guy was just a decent dude.
[391] Just the sight of him stuck with me and haunted.
[392] me the rest of the day.
[393] Isn't that thing where, like, then you look in your rearview mirror and he's fucking following you?
[394] Yeah.
[395] In a moment, okay.
[396] So, you'll never guess what happens next.
[397] My friend is a social worker, and she helped me search for criminals in the Florida area.
[398] His face stuck with me as I scrolled through pages upon pages of sex offenders and criminals.
[399] Then I saw those creepy eyes that could only belong to my guy.
[400] I pointed him out to my friend, and she just looked through his profile, shaking her head and saying over and over, this is bad.
[401] The dude was a child predator who had been arrested multiple times apparently not enough times to leave him there i knew his face like the back of my hand but just to confirm my suspicions he drove a red kia wagon the same was the one at the show thank god for mfm and the confidence and knowledge it gave me to get the f out of that situation safely and continue to sSDgm seriously love you ladies and the confidence you badassness your badassness you give women because you've so open wait because of you i've opened up to my has been about my anxiety and mental health issues as well as seeking out counselors through some of the darkest times of this past year and a half I remember turning on MFM and it could make me smile and laugh when nothing else in the world could love you ladies and you Stephen so much you'll never know the impact you make excited to see you in Orlando Peyton oh nice thanks Peyton that's so nice but still that is fucking nuts I love that you can do Like, have you, I've done that recent, like, not too long ago.
[402] Someone was walking towards me in my car in broad daylight in Hollywood.
[403] Excuse me, excuse me. And I fucking noped that shit.
[404] Yeah.
[405] Got in my car and locked the door and just stared at him from the car being like, what the fuck are you thinking?
[406] Get out of here.
[407] I don't care.
[408] No. Get out of here.
[409] Yeah.
[410] And we had just been drinking in the same bar.
[411] So it's like, well, I know you've been drinking.
[412] Yeah.
[413] I'm not doing that.
[414] Nope.
[415] See you later.
[416] Bye.
[417] Don't need it.
[418] Your friend card is full.
[419] You're not making friends on the.
[420] a sidewalk these days.
[421] No, these days, I don't stop when someone wants to speak to me for no fucking reason.
[422] Maybe if that same drunk guy shows up at a dinner party and you have a proper introduction.
[423] Right.
[424] Let's chit -chat.
[425] Hi, how are you?
[426] It's crazy.
[427] Oh, you wanted to compliment me on my coat.
[428] That's it?
[429] Thank you.
[430] I love this coat.
[431] Yeah, it's a great coat.
[432] Other than that, get the fuck out of here.
[433] Rando.
[434] Um, thanks for sending those in everyone.
[435] Send your crazy weird shit Mirr Mrs. Hometowns, all this to my favorite murder at Gmail.
[436] And stay sexy.
[437] And don't get murdered.
[438] I don't know.
[439] Where is everyone these days?
[440] Come here.
[441] You want a cookie?
[442] Yeah.
[443] Is that not allowed?
[444] Are you calling him over?
[445] Elvis, want a cookie?
[446] Oh, you fuck.
[447] There we go.