Morning Wire XX
[0] The largest teachers union in America is openly advocating for more discussion of sexual orientation and gender identity in classrooms with younger and younger children.
[1] But are children developmentally ready to understand these topics?
[2] In this episode, we speak to psychoanalyst and author Erica Commissar about her concerns about early sexual education, as well as what parents can do if their child comes home confused about gender.
[3] I'm Georgia Howe with Daily Wire editor -in -chief John Bickley.
[4] It's Sunday, July 23rd, and this is an extra edition of Morning Wire.
[5] Joining us to discuss is psychoanalyst and author Erica Kamisar.
[6] Erica, thanks so much for coming on.
[7] Thank you for having me. Now, in your recent article for the Wall Street Journal, you wrote that a majority of children are not psychologically and emotionally ready to discuss or even understand the idea of gender identity and sexual orientation.
[8] In your opinion, at what age are children and or teens prepared to start talking about that or understanding ideas around gender and sex?
[9] Well, certainly not before adolescence.
[10] And we know that adolescence starts at around nine now.
[11] So pre -adolescence, early adolescence is around nine.
[12] Adolescence ends at around 25.
[13] So under the age of nine, the idea of identity is not something children are meant to be thinking about developmentally.
[14] They're meant to be learning.
[15] They're meant to be experimenting and exploring.
[16] their strengths and weaknesses, building competencies, feeling emotionally secure, but they're not meant to really think about these bigger questions of identity.
[17] And it's not until adolescents that kids really start to think about their sexual and gender identity.
[18] And even then, it's really on an individual basis, meaning even some young adolescents really struggle to deal with some of these bigger questions.
[19] And what we're doing is overwhelming them, causing a great deal of anxiety and depression to a lot of kids who feel like somehow they should be feeling something and thinking about something that they're not ready to.
[20] Now, the National Education Association, that's the largest U .S. Teachers Union, they recommend asking preschoolers about their preferred pronouns.
[21] And the NEA's Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Transgender, Queer Plus Caucus recommends that elementary school children read books with titles such as My Princess Boy, Jacob's dress.
[22] This seems like a very coordinated push for this kind of content for young kids, especially from the education establishment.
[23] Why do you believe there's a push by adults to introduce these complex topics to young people?
[24] You know, I think it's a little bit of tyranny of the minority over the majority.
[25] I think these issues are important and we need to be compassionate about them, but I think these issues should be taught at home.
[26] And so if a gay couple or a queer couple want to educate their own child, then they should be doing that at home.
[27] But to bring it into the schools where the majority of children are not ready for this kind of information and are not yet asking these questions.
[28] So the rule as therapist that we try to educate parents about is when you're dealing with a very difficult subject matter, whether it be sex or gender or death of a family member or death in general, we say you wait till you see the cues that the child is ready.
[29] And that means the child shows curiosity.
[30] they ask questions, and even then, you answer them succinctly and wait for other questions to be asked.
[31] So the idea that we are presenting this information to many, the majority of children who are overwhelmed by this information and not ready to hear it really is, again, as I said, the kind of the tyranny of the minority over the majority.
[32] Now, is this something that you see broadly in your field with other therapists?
[33] Or would you say that it's a minority that are on board with this?
[34] I mean, I can't speak for the majority.
[35] majority or minority of my profession, what I can tell you is amongst my colleagues, we discuss these issues very openly, but that many therapists are afraid to come out with opinions about it.
[36] And if you know my background and what I write about, I've not historically been afraid to mention very difficult topics that are truthful topics.
[37] But I think there's a lot of therapists that believe this, but won't talk about it publicly.
[38] Now, you mentioned you are a practicing psychoanalyst, and you've said in the past that you only write about issues that you actually see in your practice.
[39] Yeah.
[40] What are you seeing that prompted you to give this warning?
[41] Are you seeing kids struggling with questions of sex and gender?
[42] Absolutely.
[43] And very young children.
[44] Mostly adolescents that I see, but also I do a lot of parent guidance for younger children and children are coming home and really developing anxiety as if they're supposed to answer these big questions that they're not even asking yet.
[45] And then parents are having to, I would say, sort of clean up the mess that the schools are starting for a lot of these younger children.
[46] In my practice with adolescents, yes, I see adolescents and young adults who come in and are having panic attacks, are feeling a terrific amount of anxiety, as if they're not asking the right questions.
[47] Am I, you know, am I supposed to be gay?
[48] Am I supposed to be queer?
[49] All my friends are saying they're queer.
[50] Is there something wrong with me that I'm not?
[51] I would say it's become rather trendy for young people to identify as a group with their peer groups by saying they're queer rather than really feeling it organically.
[52] Now, how many years have you been in practice and what kind of trends have you seen, if any, relating to gender confusion?
[53] Well, so I've been in practice for about 35 years.
[54] And yes, I've seen a lot of trends and they aren't necessarily good trends.
[55] So each of the books I've written has been about negative trends, which is why we have this mental health epidemic.
[56] I mean, certainly this transgender.
[57] issue is not causing the mental health epidemic, but this issue of gender and sexual confusion is certainly a piece of that puzzle.
[58] I would say this, in trying to be sensitive to and compassionate towards children who are seriously suffering from these issues, we have become incredibly insensitive towards the majority of children who are not facing these issues and their parents.
[59] And so there has to be a way to be compassionate towards the individual child.
[60] And I know many schools and charter schools are working with this and learning to be compassionate with individual children without having to overwhelm the majority of children.
[61] So what would you suggest to parents if their child does come home expressing gender confusion?
[62] What should a parent do in that case?
[63] Listen, ask good questions, be a really good non -judgmental listener.
[64] And as part of listening, it's important to ask open -ended questions without judgment.
[65] and to reflect their feelings.
[66] So if they seem upset to say, I can see that you're upset about this, tell me more.
[67] Or, you know, I can see you're sad that nobody seems to understand you at school.
[68] You know, how are you feeling?
[69] So being compassionate to your own child, showing empathy, mirroring and reflecting their feelings, being a great listener, and then waiting for more information.
[70] You know, parents don't need to react intensely to this.
[71] They just need to be really, really good listening.
[72] and track it, follow it, and see where it goes.
[73] All right.
[74] Well, Erica, thanks so much for making time for us today.
[75] Thank you for having me. That was psychoanalyst and author Erica Commissar, and this has been an extra edition of Morning Wire.