The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz XX
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[12] Welcome to the Big Suey, presented by Draft Kings.
[13] Why are you listening to this show?
[14] The podcast that seems very similar to the other Dan Lebitard podcast.
[15] I'm sorry, I'm not going to apologize for that.
[16] In fact, the only difference seems to be this imaging.
[17] I have been tempted in restaurants just walking past tables to grab somebody's fries if they're just there.
[18] That hasn't happened to you guys?
[19] I've done it.
[20] And now, here's the Marching Man to Nowhere, Fat Face, and the Habitual Liar.
[21] We have struggled over the last three years trying to get this to the video product.
[22] You guys are still laughing.
[23] Playing with the damn drawstring again, twirling it on his finger.
[24] He's a cute little bundle.
[25] He's so freaking cute.
[26] The Panthers made some of you care about the show and the Panthers in hockey because you were tied to our allegiances.
[27] Mike Ryan's Heat allegiances, his Panther allegiances, Roy's Panther allegiances.
[28] The Codys care about nothing in sports the way they care about the dolphin.
[29] So Chris Cody is sitting next to the quarterback who represents the greatest hope this franchise has had this century.
[30] And he's nervous and he's scared and he knows what he's in the middle of it.
[31] All right, take this off the screen.
[32] It's available on YouTube.
[33] I can't do this for the show.
[34] I can't look at this anymore.
[35] Had a nice little flare of the arms there, added something immediately tugs down the shorts.
[36] I am schvitzing right now.
[37] Chris only...
[38] The drawstrings are back!
[39] Chris, only 10 more minutes of this.
[40] There are only 10 more minutes of you...
[41] I need deodorant.
[42] Did you have sweat stings?
[43] I have them now.
[44] Like, just watching this back is making me sweat.
[45] I don't like this.
[46] God, I want to hug you.
[47] What about doing?
[48] I'm telling you, I left that.
[49] I was in my car.
[50] You could have told me, did you play with your drawstrings that?
[51] I would have been like, not once.
[52] Not once.
[53] I have no recollection of ever touching my drawstrings.
[54] That is a complete, just nervous, like, thing I'm doing there.
[55] Gingerly pinching them right there.
[56] Oh, now I do the rest of the arms on the belly move.
[57] Damn it back.
[58] Drawstrings are back.
[59] Chris, so just not to interview you about this interview that we've already talked about four days too many, but everything that happened there, your appraisal as you're walking through that parking lot, sweating and wondering how people practice, because you're sweating on the way to your car.
[60] You were saying, we crushed it, I crushed it, and we had a good work day.
[61] And you're...
[62] Yes, I was like, we crushed it.
[63] This is going to be good content.
[64] Who has said stuff?
[65] Like, I was, like, feeling really good.
[66] I did have, like I already said, I did have in the back of my head, please, hopefully this isn't one of those times where I look really fat.
[67] But, you know, you live and you learn.
[68] And I's tying him.
[69] Now he's untied them.
[70] Oh, Christ.
[71] Yeah, stop, stop playing with the drawstrings.
[72] Oh, my God.
[73] This is like when Chris Varley interviewed Paul McCartney and was like, remember when you were in the Beatles?
[74] Tua liked me. He does.
[75] We could hang out.
[76] There definitely is a chemistry going on right there, except when you're playing with you draw strings.
[77] You think Tua left that?
[78] I was like, dude did not stop playing with his drosting.
[79] I don't know what's going on there.
[80] That came to be a good hang.
[81] I think that's what he left there saying.
[82] Everybody does like Chris Cody.
[83] I'm just curious, Chris, and all the places where this video played yesterday, do you think somewhere sweeping across ESPN as it's on video, there's an executive some were saying, didn't we let that guy go?
[84] And they regretted it right there.
[85] There's a talent scout somewhere going.
[86] Damn it.
[87] Who's in the middle?
[88] Everyone shut up for a second.
[89] Who?
[90] What's his name?
[91] Who's he rep by?
[92] When's his deal up?
[93] Everyone shut up.
[94] Drawstrings is available?
[95] He's a free...
[96] Drewstrings is available?
[97] He's a free agent.
[98] He's really making it too uncomfortable with those...
[99] Draw strings.
[100] Find out his status.
[101] Stat.
[102] I need to know who reps straw strings.
[103] I saw Stephen A. using this tactic yesterday while interviewing someone.
[104] He must have seen it and been like, that was good.
[105] My new favorite feature of this interview is the way your eyes just go bug -eyed all of a sudden sometimes.
[106] You just open your eyes wide and you look around.
[107] Sometimes looking to dance.
[108] But I think each time there, if we had the audio on that, I'm guessing that what you'd see is that is Chris legitimately discovering, oh, Oh, Tua just said something interesting there.
[109] He surprised me. I was not expecting that.
[110] I think that happened four or five times to Chris's face.
[111] What are you doing?
[112] Man, the air guitar fell so flat.
[113] Like, that made me smooth.
[114] Back to the draw shirt.
[115] Because I was like, oh, you have a guitar, right?
[116] Your guitar player?
[117] You don't have it with you?
[118] How's your air guitar?
[119] I hit him with it.
[120] Look at his face when he says it.
[121] You said that you didn't have any recollection of you touching your drawstrings.
[122] It's been six consecutive minutes of you fiddling with it.
[123] I would have bet you $100 that I didn't touch my drop strings once.
[124] He touched the tips gingerly.
[125] Oh, that's what you do.
[126] I mean, come on.
[127] If you're touching draw strings, you touch the tips.
[128] That's what you do.
[129] You're either tying or touching tips.
[130] Oh, my God.
[131] I hate this.
[132] You can feel the sweat?
[133] Can you feel the sweat?
[134] I feel for you.
[135] We have rarely done this for an hour trampolining on somebody.
[136] People are writing in, wait a minute.
[137] You guys don't actually like each other's jokes that much.
[138] Why is everyone roaring with fake laughter?
[139] And I'm like, this is as happy as I've seen this group in a year.
[140] I'm happy I got scheduled today.
[141] So happy.
[142] Chris Content.
[143] This is making me so happy.
[144] Fake laughter.
[145] Well, in a shrinking media market, I do want to ask you this, Chris, Cody, because I think there's a lane for you here.
[146] There are many people at the sports media trough.
[147] Everyone is making content and content is being consumed everywhere.
[148] And I have found, I mean, that the evolution of the take has put us in a place where Emmanuel Acho is like the new computer on how it is to talk to an audience saying twice as many words as need to be said, at least in part because you often have to fill two hours when you only have one hour's worth of news.
[149] And so everybody on these shows, everywhere in their life, me included, get too talkative.
[150] of the amount of time you're asked to make content.
[151] But Emmanuel Acho looks to me like the evolution of the take creature that I have not seen before, where it is very calculated for attention.
[152] And I know that Bayliss spawned that original, he's the OG, of that stuff, but to see it evolved in a young athlete who's trying to get aggregated, like actively trying to get aggregated with things that he's saying, has a level of self -awareness in it that I think is surprising to me to have it be that craven.
[153] The human algorithm, right?
[154] Like, it's completely bred in this environment of have to have an opinion on everything, right?
[155] And that opinion has to be delivered with the gravitas.
[156] I know a lot.
[157] You don't know anything.
[158] And I'm going to explain it to you.
[159] Here's how.
[160] Right?
[161] Like, that's every kind of take that he delivers.
[162] is of that nature.
[163] And I think, you're saying that he's self -aware.
[164] I think he's self -aware that he's delivering a tape.
[165] I think he thinks his takes are impeccable.
[166] Like, I think he really thinks he's delivering.
[167] I don't think he's like, watch me shovel this pablum and watch them fall for it.
[168] I don't think he's thinking that.
[169] I think he's thinking, oh, I got him with this one.
[170] They're not ready for this.
[171] And instead, I think many of us look at it as, that's kind of real banal analysis situation.
[172] you're given.
[173] The reason I ask the question of you is because there's a seat open on Fox and Chris is saying the talent scouts are noticing old drawstrings here.
[174] I got an email.
[175] I think you Paul Pierce and Kishon Johnson.
[176] I don't know who's going to get in any of those seats, right?
[177] Do you guys know where Skip Bayless is going to end up?
[178] Football's about to start.
[179] He's going to be on somewhere, right?
[180] It doesn't appear so.
[181] And there's actually been a fair amount of conjecture that that show is just going to go away and they'll create new shows and they're making hire danny parkins appears to be on i'm saying new seats are about to become available and you may have noticed that mike greenberg has gotten a job at has he oh that's great news i'm so happy for that young man has been grinding for him for him to finally get an opportunity like that that is huge do you think he ever gets to do the like the cycle and host like baseball tonight at some point and then also NHL tonight and then now he's done all four.
[182] Because now he's done NBA countdown and he's doing NFL countdown.
[183] That's two big ones on his Thanos glove.
[184] He still needs to host baseball tonight.
[185] And then what's the hockey one called?
[186] Does it call NHL tonight?
[187] Or does it have a hockey night in America?
[188] Again, the, woke ESPN, letting go of Sam Ponder and a clear DEI hire there replacing her with Mike Greenberg.
[189] Woke ESPN, always doing things like that, as you know.
[190] But he's a great, he's a great broadcaster.
[191] Those things are harder to do than you can imagine.
[192] The hosting of making those things smooth is harder than you can imagine.
[193] Dan, I'm confused because there's still this narrative.
[194] And I think a lot of these people are operating in bad faith when I guess it gets clicks and traction that ESPN is woke and they just made this decision clearly because of, you know, the Algerian boxer thing.
[195] We'll just bypass the RG3 thing and we'll just make this about the Sam Ponder thing, which is just like in bad faith because I'm really confused as to how this narrative still exists.
[196] in large part due to me not working at ESPN anymore because of where we fell on the political spectrum over there.
[197] And you can say what you want.
[198] I think everyone is deduced that we're gone because of being political, I guess, even though I'd argue against that largely.
[199] I think we were making societal points and observations, but we're not there.
[200] And it's not because we weren't woke enough for Disney.
[201] That's not what happened.
[202] Mike, we were once a, a very woke show, but then I came down here on behalf of Roger Goodell and I brought us back, baby.
[203] I dragged you guys.
[204] Right of center.
[205] Right of center.
[206] And you guys, you don't know it, Dan, but I guess you're finding out now.
[207] You're in cahoots.
[208] Thank you.
[209] I appreciate finally someone explaining to me only made better if one of us had been in a uniform and I still need to decide what that uniform should be because fighter pilots is ridiculous.
[210] Come on.
[211] You know what?
[212] This is the line.
[213] I'm losing weight.
[214] What?
[215] I'm doing it.
[216] No, please don't.
[217] I say this like three times a year, but this is one of them.
[218] We're shaming you into a diet?
[219] Don't.
[220] I don't.
[221] It's a lifestyle change.
[222] You guys are commenting on how awkward I in my face.
[223] This is just me looking at the chest area and just being like it's time.
[224] I'm sorry.
[225] That slow turn, look at two and then slow turn back.
[226] I just want to know what's going on through your mind right now, Chris.
[227] Why am I in the middle?
[228] We have a Peloton partnership if you'd like to expect.
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[256] Dan Lebatard.
[257] Cheaters never prosper.
[258] Stugats.
[259] I ain't cheating.
[260] This is the Dan Lebatar show with the Stugats.
[261] Does this guitarist feel good about...
[262] J .T. Daly?
[263] Yeah, he felt great.
[264] From our chart topping number one musical.
[265] But does he feel great thinking back to the time working in boxes?
[266] Forgive me for forgetting J .T.'s name.
[267] working amid boxes to try and make people who can't sing make a musical.
[268] It's one of the great achievements of Metal Arc Media, which will soon celebrate with uniforms.
[269] Yeah.
[270] Have an update on that.
[271] Again, if we get you at the hierarchy at the top of the food chain, top of the pyramid with what you want to wear, then we can fill out the rest of it.
[272] I've already had people reach out to me, tell me that they can make a uniform possible.
[273] We've just got to get yours fitted first, and then we can work our way down.
[274] So you're clearly a five -star, right?
[275] Because you have five -star generals, and we should like invoke the military because I basically I want at least three and a half stars here that's what I'm angling for.
[276] Well, thank you for bringing up the military because I was looking at a list, you know, sports people love lists of the worst jobs in the world.
[277] And military was number one, which isn't something that I would have considered beforehand.
[278] I would have thought something in sewage, something deep in the bowels of the sea having to fix sewage pipes would be where I would go with some of them.
[279] I would nominate sitting in the middle awkwardly of an interview with someone you admire.
[280] But what would you guys nominate?
[281] Because we have great jobs.
[282] These are ridiculous jobs.
[283] Anytime any of us are complaining about our jobs, it has to be laughable to people who legitimately work for a living or the great many people that we keep company because they're in jobs that they don't like and we make the job go by a little faster because they're not thinking about how miserable they are in their jobs.
[284] But what are the worst jobs?
[285] because I like that television show.
[286] That'll grab me for nine minutes every time.
[287] Worst jobs television show, if that's on anywhere, I will stop for a second and just be grateful for my life as I see someone having to do some job that I couldn't possibly do.
[288] Recruiting coordinator.
[289] I don't speak from experience.
[290] I just assume that recruiting high schoolers around the clock is a very difficult thing.
[291] I submit to you guys.
[292] discovered what the worst job in America, at least is.
[293] I won't speak for the rest of the world.
[294] Can you stop for a second, though?
[295] Do you mind if I just give this list?
[296] Okay.
[297] I don't think that yours is going to be on this list.
[298] Definitely not on any list.
[299] So let me just give you a countdown of 13, worst jobs.
[300] Number 13 is roofer.
[301] Number 12 is pest control technician.
[302] Number 11 is firefighter.
[303] Number 10 is construction.
[304] Number nine is personal care attendant.
[305] What's that?
[306] Eight is photographer.
[307] Seven line cook.
[308] Six cleaner.
[309] Five telemarketer.
[310] Four retail sales associate.
[311] Three fast food attendant.
[312] One taxi driver.
[313] I'm sorry, two taxi driver and one military soldier.
[314] I thought two was Christmas.
[315] Raiders head coach, not on the list.
[316] What would you go with?
[317] I mean, because those didn't seem.
[318] Like, those are just jobs.
[319] Those are jobs.
[320] And they all have their struggles, Dan.
[321] They all have their difficulties.
[322] But I, upon arriving in Miami, this trip right here that I'm here on, I discovered what the worst job is.
[323] I step off the plane.
[324] I'm walking through the concourse.
[325] Exit.
[326] Go out.
[327] Down these escalators, down to where baggage claim ride chair pickup is.
[328] And before you exit these sliding doors, there's a big sign that says, after you go past this line, you can never go back.
[329] And in order to enforce that, there is a TSA agent who sits right there who is not allowed to use their phone and does not have someone else with them to talk to.
[330] They just have to sit there with their eyes open, staring at people walk out and making sure no more walks in.
[331] Ladies and gentlemen, that's the worst job in America.
[332] I'm imagining, like, if there's a rotation, like, you know, they all have to do that once a shift for, like, an hour.
[333] Or it's like, there's one guy that's like, this is my thing.
[334] I do this.
[335] I don't do anything else.
[336] Chris, if it's an hour or if it's eight hours.
[337] Oh, it's bad.
[338] Yeah, I'm with you.
[339] It's an awful.
[340] You can't do anything.
[341] You can't read a paper.
[342] And I feel like if someone walks just past the door and they realize they forgot their phone on the plane, I'm letting them back in.
[343] I'm like, go right ahead.
[344] That's right.
[345] You go right.
[346] I just saw you.
[347] I'm security and I just saw you.
[348] It's not like.
[349] You're in caho.
[350] You've committed a federal crime of some sort of.
[351] I just know that this person just walked by me. If there's any doubt, I don't let him in.
[352] It's the only low -level job in which if you mess up just once, you could be arrested, find, and imprisoned.
[353] But he forgot his phone on the plane.
[354] I just saw him walk back on.
[355] Likely, sorry.
[356] You've got to go walk right past through the security again.
[357] I want you guys to imagine the person who's been sitting in that seat silently without distraction for 40 years trying to get to retirement.
[358] And this is the day that you've stepped over.
[359] That person's going to hit you with four decades of resentment on.
[360] You stay over there.
[361] you're not allowed back in here.
[362] That's not a happy person.
[363] Yet that is, the job he's describing is terrible.
[364] We can't, with the addictions we now have to stimuli, I am giving someone solitary confinement to tell them to just sit there for seven hours and you've got a raw dog it.
[365] You got, it's seven hours of just sit there.
[366] The ultimate raw dog, because Dan, even you talk about sewer workers.
[367] Yes, you smell terrible.
[368] Yes, it grows down there.
[369] But you're doing something, right?
[370] Number one.
[371] And number two, you can pass the time.
[372] You got some AirPods on.
[373] You can listen to some music while you're doing your thing.
[374] You got other people working with you.
[375] You're talking.
[376] This thing, you can't do anything.
[377] You just have to sit there and take it.
[378] Does that sound like torture?
[379] It has to do the young people in our audience.
[380] Because there are very few among us, whether it's yoga or meditation, that can still their mind that way.
[381] I just don't know many of them who aren't Buddhist levitating monks.
[382] Like, I would imagine that those people would say to you, no, that's a great way to make a living.
[383] I could be there in my own thoughts, in my own spirit, for seven hours.
[384] You can't be in your own thoughts.
[385] You know why?
[386] Because someone might walk back in.
[387] Hey, I forgot my phone.
[388] You got to have some level of attention.
[389] And it's a grenade, not a phone.
[390] Have you guys seen the evolution of rod dogging?
[391] It used to be on, we talked a few months ago.
[392] Planes.
[393] You raw dog a flight where I'm just going to stare straight ahead now the latest It started somewhere else the latest trend Workplaces raw dogging a work day of just like I'm gonna go to work I'm not gonna answer an email I'm not gonna make a phone call.
[394] I'm just gonna sit there Sukhats has been doing that for 20 years Why is it Chris that someone is doing that that seems like are you rebelling against the system?
[395] Are you repelling against the idea of work?
[396] It's more just like can I pull it off type thing like I'd like Tony one day to try to raw dog a work day where it's like we get to late in the show it's like has Tony said anything today I think I'm catching Taylor raw dogging right now you guys think do you realize what kind of punishment it would be if we made a grid of death punishment and I don't know if we're doing that again this year but if we gave the punishment of you have to just sit there for seven hours you can you can go have lunch in the middle you can in the middle you can go have lunch two bathroom breaks yes but it's going to be, it's going to be three and a half hours, lunch, three and a half hours.
[397] That's how you're going to do that.
[398] Do you realize what a suffering that would be for people in this place?
[399] You can't talk to anyone, like not even, no communication.
[400] Is there a two -way interview going on around me?
[401] Do I have drawstring?
[402] Do I get drawstrings?
[403] I think the TSA officer, if he or she has drawstrings, they can play with said drawstrings, right?
[404] So that's on the thing.
[405] Uniform, though, no drawstrings.
[406] You got a belt.
[407] Go back to uniform.
[408] I learned something, I mean, about Tony the other day that didn't just shock me. It shocked Jessica, too, actually.
[409] I wish she were here for this because I think Jessica is more of an outdoorsman than all of us combined.
[410] She was shocked to learn that Tony, for the first time recently, as someone who is now older as a dad, more responsible, checking the perimeter, growing up, that Tony for the first time in his life.
[411] I don't know it's because he had a Cuban dad or whether a Cuban dad paid a bunch of people to Dan?
[412] Cuban dad did you speak from experience?
[413] Oh, I know.
[414] Yes, well, my father put me, I cut lawns.
[415] There's still a lawn in Miramar that I tore up because I was getting, I was cutting lawns at 10 years old.
[416] But I can have many examples of not being able to change attire all sorts of things.
[417] My father did not teach me, but cutting a lawn was one of them.
[418] Tony cut the lawn for the first time last week.
[419] First time in his life.
[420] Never done it.
[421] Dan, you're looking at a cutting the lawn virgin right here.
[422] Don't even know.
[423] I wouldn't even know how to start a lawnmore.
[424] Does weed whacking count?
[425] Because I once weed whacked like the side of my grass area.
[426] So I weed wagged the entire lawn.
[427] Wait, you don't have a lawnmower?
[428] No, which I just recently found out not the way to do it.
[429] You get a lawnmore.
[430] Did he go on a weed whacker?
[431] Did he mow a lawn?
[432] Well, wait a minute.
[433] You whacked a lawn.
[434] Put it on the pole, please, Juju, at Levitart Show.
[435] Can you mow a lawn with just a weed whacker?
[436] Oh, I did.
[437] I don't think you have yet.
[438] You just whacked it.
[439] So here's here's the.
[440] issue, right?
[441] I grew up where my dad was like, hey, we pay a guy to do the lawn service.
[442] It was like 20 bucks a week or whatever it was and the guy came over and did it.
[443] Like I never had to worry about it, right?
[444] I did other hand handy tasks around the house or whatever, but cutting lawns was one that I had never done before.
[445] So now we move into a new place.
[446] It's a townhouse.
[447] So it's not a massive yard.
[448] It's like maybe six feet on one side with a six foot like little kind of stone thing.
[449] That's a wacker.
[450] With another six on the other side.
[451] So we're talking about 12 feet, possibly.
[452] of lawn.
[453] horribly small.
[454] So I'm like, it's getting long.
[455] The yard is getting very long.
[456] And my wife kind of like opens the shade and is like, are you going to take care of that?
[457] And I'm like, don't the association guys come and do that?
[458] And she's like, no, everything outside of the association, outside of these fences, yes, but inside, no. And I was like, okay.
[459] So I go on Amazon.
[460] I'm like, all right, I can't get a riding mower because there's six feet.
[461] There's six feet of grass.
[462] I'm like, all right.
[463] Nice.
[464] Next one.
[465] You should have done that.
[466] All of a sudden, he's like Austin Powers in his backyard.
[467] Top of the line.
[468] Top of the line, John Deere.
[469] Your power move up, you turn on the lawnmower and you've cut the lawn.
[470] I just give it a one -up, one down.
[471] $2 ,700.
[472] When I do something, I do it big.
[473] So I know I couldn't go riding mower.
[474] So the next one's push -mower, but I'm like, push -mower with gas and all that stuff.
[475] It's like, it's not that big.
[476] So it's like, it's like one square and I'm done.
[477] So I'm going to spend 500 bucks on a pushmore.
[478] Come on.
[479] Tone, I don't think you've cut a lawn yet.
[480] If you cut a square of grass, it's not cutting a lawn.
[481] It's my lawn though, Dan.
[482] Like, I don't battery powder.
[483] So I went, all right, what's the next tier down?
[484] It's like this three and one weed whacker with an edger with also like this little thing that you put the weed whacker in that turns it into a lawnmower.
[485] So I'm like, oh, this is it?
[486] Perfect.
[487] So I start pushing.
[488] What is it?
[489] Roby?
[490] It's something like, no, it's Black and Decker, I think.
[491] Good old Black and Decker, so I look good.
[492] I'm a Roby guy.
[493] So I have it there and I'm like, mm -hmm, so I'm cutting it or whatever.
[494] Sounds like you look good.
[495] You bought a turbo -powered machine that makes it look like you have a lifetime of gardening at your back.
[496] The issue is this.
[497] I didn't realize it, but it wasn't battery powered.
[498] It's corded.
[499] So I have to plug in an extension cord and then plug that cord into the wall.
[500] It's the curly cue mentos sign.
[501] So I have like this line behind me. I'm like, ah.
[502] So I'm pushing it.
[503] And then I look at what I've done, and I'm like, this thing didn't do anything.
[504] Like, it didn't cut shit.
[505] So I took the weed whacker out, and then I start getting the weed whacker, like, hand on.
[506] And then I just start, just cutting it through, right?
[507] Shaving right through.
[508] Razor.
[509] What I didn't realize is as my wife is watching behind me taking a video of me doing said job, which I'm going to see if I can send it to the video team.
[510] Yes, please can get that.
[511] Built Paxson with a flamethrower and aliens?
[512] Basically.
[513] What I realized was I can't really gauge how.
[514] low I'm going with the weed wacker to make everything uniform.
[515] So I'm doing it, but I'm like and it's like cutting all the way down to the dirt and like spinning the dirt up.
[516] Tony, when I say there is a lawn in Miramar that I ruined as a 10 year old because you can't trust a 10 year old with a lawnmower and I had the settings the rotary blades were too low.
[517] And so I just put, the lawnmower kept going out because I kept just hacking up the lawn.
[518] It's been 30 years.
[519] These people have not been able to fix their lawn from what as I did.
[520] Wait a minute.
[521] It's been, it's been 45 years.
[522] Yeah, let's say, Dan, you didn't he was dead.
[523] 20 years old.
[524] If Tony's lawn is looking like Antonio Brown's haircut.
[525] It literally does.
[526] Like there's some patches that are just dirt.
[527] There's some that are grass.
[528] There's some like weeds that I didn't really cut right because they were in the roots.
[529] It was a disaster.
[530] Luckily, I got everything done in about an hour and my wife was videotaping and telling me how bad it looked.
[531] And I was like, hey, this is my first time.
[532] I've never cut the lawn before.
[533] My bad.
[534] But I think I need to upgrade my weed whacker to maybe something a little bit.
[535] easier that I can push.
[536] But again, it's, I don't want to make the investment.
[537] It sounds like you've described as a three -pronged machine of, that any man would enjoy having, that anybody who's ever held a power tool, it sounds like you got the kind of weed whacker, that you went out into the yard, yard, I'm putting it in quote marks, but you.
[538] Grass patch.
[539] But you were excited.
[540] You were excited to go do this, that you were going to be able to give it a quick trim, and it was going to be easy.
[541] And instead, it was just butcher.
[542] It's that I've seen the guys that do it for the association, obviously trained professionals that have been doing it for a long time, come in, all right, and they're done.
[543] My other issue, what I didn't think about, as the grass got higher, there's really no worth for the grass to go once I cut it.
[544] You need a blower.
[545] I didn't get a blower.
[546] So now the grass is not only cut, but sitting on the grass that I already cut.
[547] So I'm like, damn, it didn't do anything.
[548] You know that they have a video game.
[549] It's a lawnmower simulator.
[550] Why don't you try that?
[551] It's actually pretty popular because it's super satisfying.
[552] Why don't you take that thing for a spin?
[553] See what kind of hog you like.
[554] Do you guys like on TikTok, the guy that walks through neighborhoods and sees really crazy overgrown?
[555] And he knocks on the door, so I want to do it for you for free.
[556] And then it's like sped up, but he cuts the whole thing.
[557] Oh, that's satisfying.
[558] It is satisfying.
[559] He does it for old people, does he not?
[560] People who can't cut, who can't take care of their own lawn, like Tony.
[561] Like Tony and so many Cuban boys in Miami.
[562] I'm telling you, what I want to do is next time the association guys come, just kind of pick my head out, people, just tell him, ohiette, I'll add 20 pesos.
[563] Don't I read the regla here.
[564] Just pass it through for two seconds, that's it.
[565] That's one plan.
[566] Or you can pull up on your hog and say, what are you guys on?
[567] Oh, yeah, that's the power move right there.
[568] I wanted to, a lot of people ask me, and I don't have an easy explanation here.
[569] They ask me about Cuban politics in Miami and where it is that I get called an gusano, a worm for going against my people with things that are viewed as liberal.
[570] But I wanted to talk to Amin about this as well as someone who I'm not going to say that if you have to flee someplace necessarily that you value freedom more than most, but you probably do.
[571] have it more front of mind than the average person who might have grown up in America because it gets passed down through your family.
[572] And America is viewed as the standard ideal for where everyone else wants to be.
[573] Florida is viewed as a paradise.
[574] But I am surrounded in Florida by a whole lot of Cubans who do not think like me. And I do not understand how we can all look at Trump.
[575] And I see someone who's headed clearly toward dictator, and my people don't really see that when they see Trump.
[576] So I just wanted to play from the DNC last night, Anna Navarro.
[577] She's a Nicaraguan media person, you know, commentator, political commentator.
[578] She was a right -wing.
[579] She was a Republican prior to, I guess, 2016.
[580] And kind of the events of everything that happened, 2016, they're on.
[581] And she kind of found herself, I don't want to say switching sides, but definitely on the wrong side of the aisle from her Republican brethren.
[582] And so when I watch what is happening in American politics and discourse, like I can't help but hear my parents and grandparents talking about propaganda and misinformation and what communism looks like and what authoritarian and dictator behavior looks like.
[583] Not unique to Cuba.
[584] So we will get other perspectives here, and I'm curious for a means on these words.
[585] Donald Trump and his minions call Kamala a communist.
[586] I know communism.
[587] I fled communism from Nicaragua when I was eight years old.
[588] I don't take it lightly.
[589] And let me tell you what communist dictators do, and it's never just for one day.
[590] They attack the free press.
[591] They call them the enemy of the people like Ortega does in Nicaragua.
[592] They put their unqualified relatives in cushy government jobs so they can get rich of their positions like the Castro's do in Cuba.
[593] And they refuse to accept legitimate elections when they lose and call for violence to stay in power like Maduro is doing right now.
[594] in Venezuela.
[595] Now, you tell me something.
[596] Do any of those things sound familiar?
[597] Anybody running for president who reminds you of that?
[598] You know one thing, it's not Kamala Harris.
[599] That is not the American, the America we love.
[600] It's not the land of freedom we treasure.
[601] Last night, we heard President Biden say that he loves his job, but he loves his country.
[602] more.
[603] Every American needs to love our country more.
[604] Every American has the duty to put our country first.
[605] Country first before party.
[606] Country first before political ambition.
[607] Country first before habit.
[608] And in this election, putting country first means one thing and one thing only, voting for Kamala Harris.
[609] What does this have to do with sports?
[610] Can't see the tie -in.
[611] I mean, what do you hear when you hear that?
[612] Yeah, I mean, look, she makes all the points that I kind of feel and I've expressed on this show in the years past, or it's like, dude, I know what it looks like and that's how it starts, all of these kind of, I don't know if you want to call it microaggressions at this point, they're just aggression's aggressions against things are the pillars of democracy and the idea that like if you don't like how things are going you just attack those things the attack those pillars which are supposed to be off limits we can attack one another but like there's some things that are supposed to be sacred and one of them you know and you know the pillars of democracy are those things and so you know I grew up in a country where democracy was overthrown by a military slash religious fundamentalist government.
[613] And one of the things I always point to is, you know, like their first go -to move is if you're not with us, you're going to hell.
[614] Like God is on our side.
[615] And so if God has anointed us and anyone who stands against us clearly stands with the devil, are you a non -believer or whatever?
[616] And that's the justification they had for literal genocide, a civil war that ended up splitting the country in two.
[617] There's a reason why there's a South Sudan is because this fundamental government was hell bent on this religious war, if you want to call it that.
[618] I think it was more about resources and control.
[619] But the way you get the people on the side.
[620] This is a religious war that's happening in America right now.
[621] But it's not.
[622] It is and it isn't.
[623] It's disguised.
[624] It's disguised as, okay, so we're going to use religion as the reason why we're doing the things we're doing.
[625] Because we believe that, you know, human life begins at consumption.
[626] Like all those things, those buzzwords and catchphrases that they use, including holding of a Bible upside down.
[627] It's to signify, hey, everyone who disagrees with this, they're with the devil.
[628] Speaking of the devil, Arizona State, Big 12 now, new conference, it's, Now you got the Colorado Buffaloes back in that conference.
[629] It's a whole new frontier for the Big 12.
[630] And I'm curious, your thoughts as they tried to rebuild that great Sun Devil program, I mean, you're close to it in Arizona.
[631] I am.
[632] Your thoughts on the program that they're building because you see your rival.
[633] Jetfish did a great job with Wildcats, but now he's going to the Pacific Northwest.
[634] So the state is back up for grabs.
[635] How do you think the Sun Devils are positioned within the Big 12?
[636] You know what this reminds me of?
[637] I don't even know if I'm allowed to say this out loud, but I will.
[638] Do you remember the Adam McKay podcast idea where he was going to have like an NBA player and then a climate change scientist on the same podcast?
[639] And literally his questions would go like NBA player, hey, what did you think of the moves that the Denver Nuggets did in the offseason or lack thereof?
[640] And then NBA player would answer the questions.
[641] And then speaking of changes that were not made.
[642] made.
[643] Climate change scientists, what happens if we don't decrease our carbon footprint by the year 2050?
[644] And then the guy gives a very serious climate science answer.
[645] And then something in that answer says, oh, that reminds me of something.
[646] And he goes back to the NBA guy and ask an NBA question.
[647] For me, it was hilarious.
[648] But I wonder, Dan, how did you experience that as you were watching it unfold?
[649] We never heard it.
[650] Oh.
[651] I also want to distance myself from the political talk on this show just because I have a long con that I'm trying to achieve and I need, it can't be a switch that is flipped just like that.
[652] I need for it to be believable as I transition into the nation's most preeminent conservative sports media personality.
[653] Mike, as fascinated as I am by this, we have to watch this video right now.
[654] I want you to do this, Mike, work on this.
[655] I want you to become this personality.
[656] Let's find a name for him.
[657] Let's get a metal arc media uniform.
[658] Tony, weed -wacking his long in pantouflas.
[659] Strike number one, by the way, I shouldn't have done that.
[660] Are you insane?
[661] Toes out.
[662] Are those the Ori pants?
[663] No, those are the, like that thing wasn't doing shit, dude.
[664] It's like the three -piece.
[665] So at a certain point, I'm like, all right, I got to get rid of this thing.
[666] But as you can see, there's some dirt marks that I've heard.
[667] He's a dustpan on the end of a stick.
[668] He's got good style.