Holiday Spectacular 2022

[0] I love Christmas.

[1] I love it so, so much.

[2] Initially, when I was little, I loved it for the presents.

[3] We were on a tight budget for 364 days a year, but on December 25th, we lived like the Rockefellers.

[4] My mother, sweet Laura, pulled out all the stops.

[5] She remorgeted, she maxed out, she buried herself in debt to spoil us on that one special day every year.

[6] There were other things to love about Christmas beyond the cash and prices.

[7] There was time.

[8] Time with my overworked mom, time with my brother and sister, and rarest of all, time with my extended family.

[9] Christmas Eve was packed wall to wall.

[10] My brother and I would crisscross our way all over the metro Detroit area, visiting my mother's side of the family at Uncle Larry's house, and then my father's family at my Uncle Jerry's house.

[11] Both homes were overflowing with hors d 'oeuvres, cookies, chocolates, pies, cakes, and candies.

[12] Fires blazed at both stops.

[13] Stories were told and family members caught up on each other's lives over the previous year.

[14] Those Christmas Eve's are among the warmest memories I have.

[15] And I haven't grown out of Christmas as an adult.

[16] I start getting little butterflies in my chest around Thanksgiving, and over the ensuing weeks, they multiply and spawn like Maguire that have fallen into a public swimming pool.

[17] For a solid month, I stuff myself with Christmas movies, colorful sweaters, excessive decorations, holiday music, and seasonal flavors.

[18] By the time the big show arrives on December 25th, I am a bulging pinaata set to explode.

[19] It's a curious obsession, given my agnostic disposition and general disdain for doing what everyone else is doing, yet I love it.

[20] I love it more than anything.

[21] It has added tremendous meaning to my life and I pine for it every year, even as an adult who now gives far more presence than I receive.

[22] What I love most about it now are the built -in excuses, the excuse to stop working, the excuse to plan meaningless and silly excursions, the excuse to spoil the people I love, the excuse to put a dirty outdoor tree inside my house.

[23] The excuse to eat gluten.

[24] The excuse to litter my yard with tacky, colorful lights.

[25] This is what Christmas is about for me, pausing everything in my life that I am chasing so that I can enjoy the things I already have.

[26] And so this year, we have decided to invite you along on our holiday work party adventure.

[27] It's a great excuse for us to gather somewhere beautiful and enjoy each other's company without any goal in mind.

[28] We all met at Descanto Botanical Gardens in La Cognada for a night of merriment.

[29] Rob brought his little boy, Calvin, Kristen and I brought our girls, and Monica and David brought an insatiable thirst that could only be slaked with hot cider spiked with Jim Beam.

[30] From us and ours to you and yours.

[31] Happy holidays.

[32] Wondry Plus subscribers can listen to Armchair expert early and ad free right now.

[33] Join Wondry Plus in the Wondry app or on Apple Podcasts, or you can listen for free wherever you get your podcasts.

[34] Hi.

[35] Hi.

[36] Merry Christmas.

[37] Merry Christmas.

[38] They arrived.

[39] Jingy bells, jingy bells.

[40] Jingy all the way.

[41] We love Foley.

[42] Do you have a favorite Christmas song, Monica?

[43] I like, Oh, Holy Night.

[44] How's that one going?

[45] I'm not going to sing it.

[46] Oh, my God.

[47] I feel like you're trying to trap me into this.

[48] I really just want to know how it goes.

[49] Oh, holy night.

[50] Kind of.

[51] How's it go?

[52] That's how it goes.

[53] You're right.

[54] Yeah.

[55] You sang it perfect.

[56] Yeah, you nailed it.

[57] Also, Silent Night.

[58] Also, all I want for Christmas is you.

[59] Who sings that?

[60] Mariah Carey.

[61] Oh, these are pop ones.

[62] No, only not.

[63] Silent Night is not pop.

[64] Silent Night.

[65] That's the one.

[66] holy shit yeah yeah okay i like christmas music my favorites of course Elvis of course number one's the charlie brown christmas album by vinscaraldi yes that's a great one i have that album even though i don't have a record player oh you do yeah oh where'd you get the album so don't give it to you or do you purchase maybe i bought it how did you come this is a very curious item for me to see in your house.

[67] Is it curious because I don't have a record player, or is it just curious?

[68] Curious you don't have a record player.

[69] A, B, you don't collect records.

[70] I have like 10.

[71] Oh, you have 10?

[72] Oh, great.

[73] C, there's no record stores.

[74] So where'd you get this?

[75] I mean, that's the big, you can order them.

[76] You can order them from the big conglomerate Amazon.

[77] And their record stores are back.

[78] Yeah.

[79] They are?

[80] They exist, tell you.

[81] There's one in Highland Park.

[82] They're back and they exist are a little different.

[83] There's a little real estate.

[84] There's a resurgence in the final records the last few years.

[85] Do you think you would find yourself leafing through the albums that are, yeah, because it's shopping.

[86] Yeah, I love shopping.

[87] Record store is a huge part of my youth, like all through high school.

[88] I collected records.

[89] I would go with Tyrell, all these different record shops, and you just go through every single one.

[90] They'd have little stations.

[91] You could put it on with the headphones.

[92] Yeah.

[93] Do you still have those?

[94] I do.

[95] I have some ones that were deemed to be very, very valuable at some point, and I really wonder if that's possibly true, if they've held their value.

[96] Because I have a couple Metallica albums, original press, that only existed in album form.

[97] Wow.

[98] Yeah, like Whiplash was its own album, which is a song on Kill 'em All, which is kind of crazy.

[99] Oh, cool.

[100] Where is that here?

[101] Wonderful question.

[102] It's something that maybe once every three months, I just kind of spring awake at night.

[103] I'm like, where are these albums I've collected?

[104] Oh, no. I think they're in Carly's Garage.

[105] This is like my Beanie babies, they're gone.

[106] They are gone?

[107] Yeah.

[108] So your mother threw them away.

[109] Yeah, she had to.

[110] Do you think they're valuable?

[111] No. Okay.

[112] It is funny when you're a kid.

[113] You're just certain these things are going to be valuable forever.

[114] They were at the time.

[115] Yeah.

[116] You should have unloaded.

[117] It's like crypto.

[118] You hung on too long.

[119] I didn't have enough.

[120] My parents didn't indulge.

[121] Do you think Beanie babies were the original crypto?

[122] Yeah.

[123] I do.

[124] Because they were selling for what?

[125] hundreds of thousands of dollars certain ones, no?

[126] I don't know.

[127] I don't know about hundreds of thousands.

[128] Rob, what's the world record for the most expensive Beanie Baby ever?

[129] I think when crypto came out, they were saying this is the modern day Beanie Baby.

[130] They were?

[131] No. I'm like, I'm not original in that opinion.

[132] No. Oh, see, he Natholied me. He did.

[133] That was great.

[134] Or he daxed you.

[135] All right.

[136] So the most expensive one was the princess bear.

[137] Princess Diana.

[138] The Princess Diana bear sold for half a million dollars.

[139] Half a million.

[140] Oh, my God.

[141] I want that.

[142] I hope one of you guys got me that.

[143] I hope that's in one of these boxes.

[144] That giant boxes.

[145] $100 ,000.

[146] Wow.

[147] No one dressed festive except me. I wore red.

[148] Okay.

[149] I don't normally wear red.

[150] Okay.

[151] Then Rob dressed festive.

[152] We went directly from a previous interview into this, so I was all scatty wampus.

[153] I had to make a decision this morning because it was going to be back to back.

[154] Do I dress normal for the guest or do I dress festive for this?

[155] And I dressed festive for this.

[156] I pictured myself in some big bozo outfit trying to be sincere about this person's pass.

[157] It seemed like a bad idea.

[158] Yeah.

[159] Do you want me to go inside and change?

[160] No. I'm willing to do that for you.

[161] No. Look, we've all made mistakes.

[162] You didn't wear festive clothes.

[163] None of my presence came in time.

[164] None.

[165] Not one.

[166] Other people's or just wabi and eyes.

[167] Yours.

[168] Okay.

[169] Just mine.

[170] Just the, well, kind of just yours, except, well, we'll get into it once we'll get into it.

[171] Okay, we'll get into it.

[172] Okay, great.

[173] What are you most excited about right now?

[174] You're going home?

[175] I'm going home tomorrow.

[176] Yeah.

[177] And I'm really excited about that.

[178] I'm going to a new restaurant when I'm home, I think.

[179] I DM'd them, but they haven't DM'd back.

[180] So actually, I don't know if I'm going, but I want to go.

[181] You'll be able to go.

[182] Is it a famous chef?

[183] No, but it's on the New York Times.

[184] best of list this year.

[185] Chef Boy R .D. Oh, my God.

[186] I DM Chef Boy R .D. And I'm waiting for us.

[187] You're going to get a dick pick back.

[188] I'm afraid if you hit up Chef Boyd.

[189] So much sausage.

[190] Oh, my God.

[191] Any stories leading up to because we haven't had a fact check and you know how I feel.

[192] I hate not having fact check.

[193] I know you do.

[194] Let's see.

[195] What's been going on?

[196] I mean, I don't want to be a downer.

[197] Uh -oh.

[198] But I guess this is part of what a lot of people experience at Christmas.

[199] I never experience sadness around Christmas, really.

[200] Uh -huh.

[201] But I feel kind of sad this year.

[202] You do?

[203] Yeah.

[204] I don't know why.

[205] I don't like that.

[206] Can you label the sadness?

[207] I just feel a little melancholy.

[208] You do.

[209] I mean, I do blame it on daylight savings.

[210] I don't think I've recovered since it switched.

[211] Yeah.

[212] I can't handle it.

[213] There'll be a point of this episode that people, are going to think it's scripted.

[214] I'm just going to say that.

[215] Okay, so you're going home.

[216] Wait, is it when we open our gifts?

[217] Yeah, I think people are going to think this is scripted.

[218] Oh, God.

[219] Maybe it is.

[220] Oh, yeah, it is by my dad.

[221] What if you peek?

[222] Because you're a rascal.

[223] You're a brat.

[224] Did you use a peek on presents when you're a kid?

[225] Peek.

[226] Oh, peak.

[227] Yeah, you did.

[228] I thought you meant peak, P -I -Q -U -E.

[229] And I was like, yes, I 100%.

[230] Oh, right, P -Q, yeah.

[231] Christmas quivers?

[232] CQs?

[233] I didn't peek.

[234] You made in?

[235] No. I didn't.

[236] I'm a shot because you're a little rascal.

[237] I know.

[238] I didn't want to know.

[239] I liked surprises.

[240] And my parents stopped doing surprises.

[241] Once they hit their lazy phase, they decided they wanted to just get the thing they knew I would want, which is so smart, of course.

[242] So you would just pick out your present.

[243] So you already knew.

[244] Yeah.

[245] But then I kind of demanded.

[246] that at least one present was a surprise.

[247] My mom would always get one present as a surprise.

[248] Okay.

[249] That was exciting.

[250] Okay.

[251] I would have never needed to take the marshmallow test because I am the king of delayed gratification.

[252] I don't even want to open my presents, to be honest with you.

[253] I don't ever want to open them.

[254] I like the feeling so much more that I have presents than opening them.

[255] That's really sweet.

[256] Is it?

[257] I mean, yeah, it is.

[258] And I'm always kind of trying to force it on my kids and it's not appreciated.

[259] Yesterday was Delta's birthday.

[260] Yes, happy birthday Delta.

[261] Happy birthday, Delta.

[262] Another successful roller skate party.

[263] Something really cute happened.

[264] I wonder if we're allowed to talk about it.

[265] A lot of cute things happened in the last 24 hours, so I'm not sure which.

[266] Well, she had a friend at the party from school.

[267] Oh, yeah.

[268] And he fell down.

[269] He had some sweet moments.

[270] Yeah.

[271] He had a really sweet moment.

[272] He gave like a really sweet card to her.

[273] Yes.

[274] He's a little boy, too.

[275] He's a little boy.

[276] Well, I mean, and they're eight, but he fell down.

[277] He had a few big cries yesterday.

[278] And it was so sad.

[279] The worst one.

[280] He was holding a blue slushy.

[281] And he lost his slushy.

[282] And you could tell he thought it was gone for good.

[283] But we got him one right away, didn't we?

[284] Yeah.

[285] But like, everyone was just trying to help him.

[286] And Delta came over and was like patting his leg.

[287] It was so sweet.

[288] Also, every single present she opened was a squishy.

[289] She was so excited about every single one.

[290] She'd open up and go, Ah!

[291] She fucking loves her squishies.

[292] I took her and, like, on a shopping spree.

[293] Yeah, it's really fun.

[294] Fun Aunt Monica really spoils these two.

[295] It was so fun.

[296] Was it?

[297] Yeah, I love that.

[298] Oh, good.

[299] I love being able to.

[300] I gave them baskets and they just filled up.

[301] You never know, like, if you're in a rush or you feel pressure, oh, I got to do it.

[302] I've committed to this thing now as every year I got to do this.

[303] So I'm glad to hear that you enjoy it, too, because they love it.

[304] And it's.

[305] lucky because that was my dream.

[306] A shopping spree, being able to walk across a store and just get whatever you want.

[307] Bag it.

[308] Tag it.

[309] Put it in the car.

[310] Put it in the car.

[311] This, that's mine.

[312] Yeah.

[313] They had their own baskets and they were just putting everything in there.

[314] Did they get crazy or were you impressed that they had some self -control or no, all out the window?

[315] At first, they were really in control.

[316] But I think once it clicked in, of course, this is just any human psychology.

[317] They got into an abundance mindset?

[318] Yeah.

[319] When I wasn't saying, okay, that's enough or one left or something, then they just kept adding stuff as they should.

[320] I wanted them to.

[321] But also it was funny because I felt like if I have kids, I can't do this with my own children, of course.

[322] This is why I love it for them because I don't do this.

[323] You can't do it.

[324] No, they'd be terrible people.

[325] Yeah, yeah.

[326] But you can have a person.

[327] in your life who does that for you once a year.

[328] That's special.

[329] My brother -in -law, Tom Machiniac, who I adore.

[330] I love Tom Machiniac.

[331] He's married to Sarah, Kristen's sister.

[332] He, when they had kids, he brought them to our house on a vacation.

[333] And he said, here's my opinion of family.

[334] Grandma and grandpa are for wisdom.

[335] That's their role.

[336] Mom and dad are the disciplinarians.

[337] We teach them the rules.

[338] And aunts and uncles are to get them in trouble.

[339] So that's your job and I empower you so I got Ben in the razor and we drove up the fucking hiking trail of Griffith Park at night, totally illegal, planned it out so we'd have time if the cops were called.

[340] We got home in time and we raised some hell.

[341] Wow.

[342] So I've adopted his, I love his.

[343] I like that.

[344] It's really cool.

[345] And so, yeah, you're an auntie.

[346] You can like do whatever the fuck, get arrested with them.

[347] I'm not going to.

[348] Well, okay, just spoil them.

[349] Whatever, just break the rules I like it.

[350] Yeah, me too.

[351] It's fun.

[352] It's really fun.

[353] But even that wasn't enough to break you out of your melancholy.

[354] That was just a short little window of, I mean, it's not scary levels.

[355] It's just like a general, a little bit blue, blue Christmas, another song.

[356] Yeah.

[357] It's okay.

[358] I think a lot of people feel that way and then they feel like they shouldn't.

[359] That's part of the problem.

[360] And then you feel guilty and shameful.

[361] Well, you're like, everyone's so happy and I'm not.

[362] What's what going on?

[363] If you feel lonely and you're looking around you and everyone feels connected.

[364] Exactly.

[365] You can compound it, I think.

[366] But I think what's just good to know is a lot of people, I think, feel lonely at this time.

[367] And it just highlights our parties.

[368] There's gatherings and it's a very family -centric holiday as well.

[369] It's like you're getting your kids present.

[370] It's all about the kids and kids, kids, kids, kids, kids, kids.

[371] Yeah, and if you don't have kids, it can feel.

[372] is the point in this holiday.

[373] No, but it's not.

[374] I talked to Liz right after Thanksgiving.

[375] It was Pig Day when I got my Christmas tree.

[376] Uh -huh.

[377] And I had dinner with Liz that night.

[378] I was like, I got my tree.

[379] And I was so happy.

[380] And she was like, oh, wow, I should do that.

[381] And I was like, of course you should do that.

[382] Why wouldn't you?

[383] Yeah.

[384] She was like, well, I guess if I'm not in a relationship, I don't really think about it.

[385] And I was like, what do you mean?

[386] You have to live your life regardless of who's around you.

[387] Right, right.

[388] Anyway, so I belittled her and yelled at her.

[389] Good.

[390] You shamed her up, good.

[391] Give her a good shaman.

[392] I think she got a tree.

[393] Oh, good.

[394] I don't think she did, actually.

[395] But she should.

[396] If she wants one.

[397] It's harder in New York, too, I have to imagine.

[398] But it's also more Christmassy there.

[399] I don't even know if I would even get one in New York.

[400] I got lug it up some stairs.

[401] You don't have a car.

[402] There's no lots.

[403] What are you driving in New Jersey?

[404] You've rented a vehicle.

[405] How the fuck?

[406] You're on a subway with a tree?

[407] That must happen.

[408] No, I guess probably at most.

[409] people have artificial.

[410] They must have artificial there.

[411] Which is still gray.

[412] It's lovely.

[413] Is there a fake smell you can pop in the air?

[414] Sure.

[415] Candles.

[416] Our trees are dead just for the record.

[417] They did not make it to Christmas.

[418] It's really funny too because it's causing a lot of heartache in my house.

[419] The girls are upset.

[420] They were lamenting about it so much.

[421] I was like, is this my cue?

[422] I'm supposed to go get new Christmas trees because I'm not going to do that.

[423] Who gives a shit?

[424] The branches are all crooked.

[425] Whatever.

[426] I don't think I know.

[427] The branches go from.

[428] horizontal and they start slowly drooping and drooping.

[429] It's like an umbrella that's shutting right now.

[430] Ours is like a third of the way shut.

[431] And it's conceivable by Christmas morning.

[432] They'll just be the closed umbrella there.

[433] Like the Grinch when he closed up that Christmas tree before he took off with it.

[434] Oh, wow.

[435] Yeah.

[436] Shall we listen to a little bit of our adventure?

[437] Yeah.

[438] Let's hop in it.

[439] Well, here's what we do is we all get together right this moment and I clap really loud.

[440] Yeah.

[441] Sink.

[442] Who knows the history of Descanto Gardens the most?

[443] It might be.

[444] It might be you.

[445] And what can you tell me about the history of this joint?

[446] So, Descanso Gardens was open in the 1950s, and it's just a treasure local botanical garden.

[447] Are you guys going to get hot chocolate or cider?

[448] What is picking?

[449] Hot chocolate.

[450] Do you want hot chocolate or a cider?

[451] I won't go.

[452] Of course you want both.

[453] I want both.

[454] Everyone wants both.

[455] Can I want both?

[456] Can I want both?

[457] Okay, so she's going to have both.

[458] Are you getting both, too, Calvin?

[459] Oh, exciting.

[460] You're getting both.

[461] That's so exciting.

[462] All right, so we're starting with some cider, which is customary for people who come, right?

[463] You can spike it, so.

[464] Well, that's pro -ton.

[465] Wait, hold on a second.

[466] That's permitted?

[467] It is absolutely permitted.

[468] It's encouraged, actually.

[469] Oh, wow.

[470] Does anyone ever over imbibe here?

[471] Absolutely all the time.

[472] Oh, wonderful.

[473] And it sounds like you're almost embracing it a little bit.

[474] Well, you know, we have families come, and they have fun with their kids, and then we have dates come, and we have all kinds of people come.

[475] So if your thing is to, you know, have a little hot chocolate with a kick.

[476] Yeah, loosen up a little bit.

[477] We're here for you.

[478] We're here.

[479] So has anyone had to be removed bodily?

[480] Oh, no, I don't think so.

[481] Do you like that term bodily?

[482] It sounds like something law enforcement would say, right?

[483] Yeah, it does.

[484] We're a little gentler here.

[485] Are you allowed to tell me the crazy...

[486] Like, here's what I even said to my wife the last time I was here.

[487] Certainly two people on a date have gone and started necking in the woods.

[488] Probably.

[489] Probably.

[490] We may have seen things like that.

[491] Okay, that's my...

[492] Okay, so you're not confirming or denying, but it sounds like my hunch was true.

[493] Boy, I wish I could have some nice drinks, but I'm too busy running this show.

[494] You can have a cider.

[495] Would you like one?

[496] Is that what it is cider?

[497] Yeah, but you can't have any of mine.

[498] It has alcohol in it.

[499] Oh, you can add it here.

[500] I thought you were saying people mule it in.

[501] Uh, flask.

[502] Yeah, mule.

[503] Mule.

[504] Keyster, there it is.

[505] Ah, that's the one.

[506] And I'm joined by a Christmas angel.

[507] A Christmas angel.

[508] Normally this episode we're hearing you sing with people.

[509] Oh, my God.

[510] Look how great your hair looks, Calvin.

[511] How long are you going to let your hair get?

[512] I'm super long.

[513] Down to your shoulders?

[514] Yes.

[515] Down to your butt?

[516] No. Good, because if you go to the bathroom, I'll poop on it Exactly right You'd end up accidentally pooping on your hair What did you get?

[517] Coco or cider?

[518] Coco What do you rate it out of ten?

[519] It's probably the second best cocoa I've ever had Holy smokes I like the cocoa too I don't like the cider as much as the cocoa You have both I see?

[520] I'm drinking both Do you think you should have been forced to decide?

[521] No, I already have a stomachache and I've only took, like, one sip.

[522] Okay.

[523] Did you get any alcohol in yours?

[524] Yeah, a lot.

[525] Oh, my gosh.

[526] I have a turn with this.

[527] Yes.

[528] Do you want to hold it?

[529] No, I want to turn answering questions.

[530] Okay, great.

[531] Are you wearing sweatpants?

[532] No. What would you call those?

[533] Nothing.

[534] You're wearing nothing?

[535] Oh, my God.

[536] You're going to get thrown out of here.

[537] Do you use finesteride or anything to keep your hair that thick?

[538] No. It's naturally that thick.

[539] Okay, well, I think we should enter you.

[540] you guys and we should learn about Descanto gardens.

[541] Do you like Christmas?

[542] Does it give you stress?

[543] Oh yeah.

[544] Presents.

[545] I figured.

[546] Presents are a problem because people here really care about giving them.

[547] Specifically here.

[548] Yeah.

[549] And I have so much anxiety over...

[550] Gift giving?

[551] Yeah, gift giving.

[552] It's horrible.

[553] Even like, so I went to get someone a t -shirt the other day and I was like, I don't know what size you are.

[554] So instantly, oh, fuck it.

[555] And I just logged off.

[556] Fuck it.

[557] Close it down.

[558] It is tricky.

[559] It is tricky.

[560] It's really hard.

[561] It's really hard.

[562] I guess you can always go bigger.

[563] Well, he was picking out lingerie.

[564] Is that what this kind of?

[565] Yeah.

[566] Yeah, always go bigger.

[567] Laundrae for all my friends.

[568] Do you think that's weird if you, we were doing Secret Santa, and I had my friend's wife.

[569] Oh, God.

[570] No, I was gonna get, like, the Luna, like, silk pajamas.

[571] Oh, that's nice.

[572] And I wasn't sure if that was inappropriate.

[573] No, you can't get silk pajamas for your friend's wife.

[574] That's psychotic.

[575] Wait, no, it's not.

[576] That's crazy.

[577] It's like nice.

[578] What was wrong with you?

[579] Nice pajama.

[580] Is that not sex?

[581] Is it a button down with pants?

[582] One was a tank top.

[583] You can't get sweet.

[584] You can't get sweet with it.

[585] Yeah, I wasn't get the lacy one.

[586] You can't.

[587] I think it's fine depending on the relationship.

[588] Let's ask Kristen.

[589] If you're having six with her, you can.

[590] We have a question for you.

[591] A Christmas question.

[592] Okay.

[593] Rob's wondering if it's allowed for him to get in a secret Santa, his friend's wife, lingerie, but not lingerie.

[594] Loonia, like, silk.

[595] You cannot get pajamas for your friend's wife, ever.

[596] He's wrong, right?

[597] Imagine if I...

[598] Edit all of his comments out.

[599] Lunya is, without question, the best pajama brand out there.

[600] Exactly.

[601] No, 100 %.

[602] Their silk is washable.

[603] I know, it's nice.

[604] They're not sponsored.

[605] It's not lingerie.

[606] Yeah, that's what...

[607] Natalie has a bunch of them, and they're her favorites.

[608] I think that's a great thing.

[609] So I was like...

[610] Okay.

[611] So we've been coming for the last five years.

[612] This is truly our favorite place to come during Christmas.

[613] Do you guys add stuff every year?

[614] Does it stay pretty much the same?

[615] So we have some of our favorite things like flower power and the ancient forest, but we do change it up and we have different artists that come in.

[616] And Chris Medved's here.

[617] He's our creative director and he's actually already thinking about next year.

[618] Chris, what is new this year?

[619] New this year, we've made some improvements to.

[620] the psychic village installation by sculptor Tom Fruin.

[621] We made some improvements to the installation by another artist known as Hibicozo.

[622] There's just some minor changes this year, not major changes.

[623] We sort of have the Disneyland or theme park challenge of always trying to do something new, but if you mess with anything that's there, everyone will riot.

[624] Have you ever seen this, Calvin?

[625] What are you looking at?

[626] What is this?

[627] There's fake flowers.

[628] It can light up in different colors.

[629] Are the colors changing in a pattern?

[630] Yeah.

[631] Do you have a favorite color of flower, Kelvin?

[632] Rainbow.

[633] Rainbow.

[634] I've never seen a rainbow flower.

[635] Have you, hon?

[636] I haven't, but...

[637] This would be the place.

[638] Yeah, this is your favorite flower.

[639] Rose, rose.

[640] Rose is your favorite?

[641] There's 100, 100.

[642] That's your final guess?

[643] I bet we can get an answer.

[644] Let's find out the real number.

[645] You're up in it to 200.

[646] How many tulips are there?

[647] A little over 4 ,000.

[648] Oh, did you hear that, Calvin?

[649] 1 ,100.

[650] 10, no, even more than that.

[651] Four of those 10 hundreds.

[652] 40 ,000.

[653] Do you guys, when you lay out this walk path, try to top yourselves?

[654] Like, is it like a comedy routine?

[655] You're supposed to save your biggest joke for the end?

[656] Because to me, it seems like you guys blew your wad at the beginning here a little bit.

[657] Well, sort of.

[658] I mean, I guess there's a lot.

[659] linear sort of experience has been curated, but there isn't a story to the show, right?

[660] And even though there's sort of a linear experience, if you follow the numbers and the direction, you don't have to.

[661] Probably a third of the people will choose on an adventure and just go do whatever they want to.

[662] In the beginning, when we first were coming up with a concept for the show, one of the kind of rules that we decided was we didn't want it to be linear.

[663] We didn't want it to be a story -driven, narrative -driven, and wanted to be abstract.

[664] Part of the daytime experience of the gardens is for guests to be able to sort of free explore.

[665] And so the idea was, at night, we wanted to continue that experience.

[666] What do you think so far?

[667] Oh, you've never been.

[668] Yeah, I love it.

[669] Yeah, isn't the field of tulips amazing?

[670] Especially when you look at it in its totality like that.

[671] Yes, it's beautiful.

[672] It's enchanted.

[673] Would you consider doing this in your yard of your new house that's across the street from my house so that I can just come across the street and enjoy this kind of setup?

[674] Will you implement it for me?

[675] Like install it?

[676] If that's a yes, then yes.

[677] Oh, goodness, what's this on the left here?

[678] This is new this year.

[679] Oh, okay, good, because I don't recognize this.

[680] So this is like Field of Stars that's under the water.

[681] What do you think of this place so far?

[682] I think it's beautiful.

[683] Yeah.

[684] Christmas is something I find very hard to be cynical about.

[685] Yeah, it cuts.

[686] Yeah, it does cut through.

[687] It cuts through.

[688] Like, look at me, I'm a big screaming atheist, and I love it.

[689] It's my favorite time.

[690] And by God, it's Jesus's birthday.

[691] Yeah, it's all that stuff.

[692] Is it all our childhood coming back or something?

[693] Yeah, it's my favorite part of childhood.

[694] Yeah, same.

[695] Were you spoiled on Christmas?

[696] Well, there was always the debate about, is this my birthday or is it Christmas?

[697] Oh, right.

[698] I guess, yes.

[699] So there was always that thing, and I'd always be like.

[700] It's actually shocking you like Christmas because it really robbed you of your birthday.

[701] Yeah, it did.

[702] It did.

[703] And it was always that thing of, you know, this is a present that's a bit bigger because it's your birthday and Christmas.

[704] Yeah, I love bullshit.

[705] Yeah, it's the same.

[706] exact president, your brother got in value.

[707] Look, I'm January 2nd, so I had the same thing.

[708] Stay tuned for more armchair expert, if you dare.

[709] What's up, guys?

[710] This your girl Kiki, and my podcast is back with a new season, and let me tell you, it's too good.

[711] And I'm diving into the brains of entertainment's best and brightest, okay?

[712] Every episode, I bring on a friend and have a real conversation.

[713] And I don't mean just friends.

[714] I mean the likes of Amy Polar, Kel Mitchell, Vivica Fox, The list goes on.

[715] So follow, watch, and listen to Baby.

[716] This is Kiki Palmer on the Wondery app, or wherever you get your podcast.

[717] We've all been there.

[718] Turning to the internet to self -diagnose our inexplicable pains, debilitating body aches, sudden fevers, and strange rashes.

[719] Though our minds tend to spiral to worst -case scenarios, it's usually nothing.

[720] But for an unlucky few, these unsuspecting symptoms can start the clock ticking on a terrifying medical mystery.

[721] Like the unexplainable death of a retired firefighter whose body was found at home by his son, except it looked like he had been cremated, or the time when an entire town started jumping from buildings and seeing tigers on their ceilings.

[722] Hey listeners, it's Mr. Ballin here, and I'm here to tell you about my podcast.

[723] It's called Mr. Ballin's Medical Mysteries.

[724] Each terrifying true story will be sure to keep you up at night.

[725] Follow Mr. Ballin's Medical Mysteries wherever you get your podcasts.

[726] Prime members can listen early and ad -free on Amazon Music.

[727] Yes, my love.

[728] Those things light up if you touch it.

[729] No. But only if you touch it, but if you don't, it just say blue.

[730] Hold on.

[731] You're saying if I touch that, it's going to change color?

[732] Yeah.

[733] Touch, do it.

[734] I'm going to come.

[735] Will you come with me?

[736] You touch first because I'm afraid I'm going to get zapped.

[737] It can change color if you touch like this.

[738] You guys, this is so cool.

[739] I'll never forget this.

[740] Until next week.

[741] This morning I told Lincoln, like, oh, we're going to go to Descanto Gardens.

[742] And she goes, oh, I love that place.

[743] I love the tulip thing.

[744] And I was like, oh, my God, this is the first time she remembered anything.

[745] Excuse me?

[746] Yeah.

[747] And shit behind your back.

[748] Look, I think you've been giving me the real the whole time.

[749] What percentage of the guests do you think are on hallucinogenics?

[750] We talk about that often.

[751] We know from our social media that there are people that do that.

[752] Yeah, sure.

[753] It seems like an incredible place to do that.

[754] Yes.

[755] I lost my privileges of doing that, but I used to enjoy it.

[756] In fact, it's heartbreaking.

[757] I never came here during that phase of my life.

[758] That ship sailed.

[759] It sailed right off the edge of the earth.

[760] It turned out it was flat, and it fell right off.

[761] But yeah, right now I can think of a few different compounds that would augment this in a favorable way.

[762] Well, you've got psilocybin.

[763] That would be fun.

[764] I'm sure you can find some people who have written about those experiences.

[765] Well, there's a whole subculture that does that at Disneyland, so it only makes sense that they would come here.

[766] She's like a light show.

[767] Yes.

[768] I'm like so much from you tonight, Doc.

[769] Oh, you are.

[770] Oh, look who it is.

[771] Oh, hi.

[772] Hi, honey.

[773] Hi.

[774] Hi, how are you?

[775] I'm good.

[776] How are you?

[777] Oh, my goodness.

[778] We're always, when we come here, usually we're very romantic, right?

[779] Yeah, except one time, remember two years ago, we were in a fight when we came here.

[780] Oops.

[781] Can you remember what it was about?

[782] Of course not.

[783] Me either.

[784] Isn't that the comedy of fights?

[785] You could end everything over one, and then you can't even remember what the fuck it was about.

[786] But we were both very invested in it.

[787] Of course, I would have died over whatever point I'd forgotten.

[788] And we did take a kissing picture.

[789] And it was painful for both of them.

[790] Yeah.

[791] But I wanted it.

[792] I was like, we're not going to be by these lights.

[793] Get over here.

[794] Well, I do remember, even though I don't remember the details of the fight, I remember that it definitely crescendoed, Under that little canopy over there, where you're talking about taking the picture.

[795] I love you guys so much.

[796] I love you so much.

[797] You know, when you're listening to this link, it's probably hard to imagine what we're seeing.

[798] So maybe we could describe it a little bit.

[799] I'm going to start.

[800] We're on a little asphalt path, and it's winding through this beautiful botanical garden.

[801] Yeah.

[802] We're going to turn right or left.

[803] No. Yeah, right.

[804] Yeah, right?

[805] We're going to turn right into this archways that are hanging with big stars.

[806] Like spiky stars.

[807] There's stars in every direction.

[808] Yeah.

[809] And the whole canopy is covered in these yummy, spiky stars, and it lights up the whole path.

[810] You know what word I think sums this whole place up?

[811] You can guess.

[812] It's one of my favorite word.

[813] Enchanting.

[814] Of course, enchanting.

[815] It's obvious.

[816] What else would you call it other than enchanting?

[817] Mystical.

[818] Oh, that's good.

[819] Mystical, yeah.

[820] What happened?

[821] You just had a horrible parenting moment.

[822] What do you tell?

[823] Calvin got very...

[824] So I had to give him my phone.

[825] He got very upset that your kids had phones and were taking videos and he goes, I don't have a phone to take videos.

[826] So he goes sat in the, just sat in the ground over there.

[827] Rob was holding his ground.

[828] Sure.

[829] Just threw a phone out.

[830] That's what an uncle's, supposed to do.

[831] An uncle's supposed to spoil, right?

[832] Yeah, he's got my phone for the next hour.

[833] All right, let's get back on track.

[834] I think my hands have grown.

[835] Oh, my goodness, since we got here?

[836] Yeah.

[837] Did you eat one of these magic plants?

[838] Yeah, I ate a petal.

[839] And it made your hands grow two sizes bigger?

[840] Checking it.

[841] I'm still here.

[842] Say, I'm still here.

[843] I'm still here.

[844] I'm part of this.

[845] I'm part of this.

[846] In fact, I'm the star of the show.

[847] In your fire decks And a fire dock What?

[848] You lost Cowan!

[849] Oh no, where's he gone?

[850] Where's he gone?

[851] He's right there, he's right there.

[852] Yeah, he'll be fine.

[853] He'll be fine.

[854] It's a very safe city.

[855] It's a very safe city.

[856] My favorite Christmas present was a Lego set.

[857] It was like a Mars rover kind of a thing.

[858] What age?

[859] I would have been maybe seven.

[860] Seven.

[861] And I think that's why I still love Lego, because it was my favorite present.

[862] And I'm always trying to relive that favorite Christmas slash birthday.

[863] Yeah.

[864] And did you, was it a toy that you wanted that you had deemed no way I'm getting it?

[865] Oh, absolutely.

[866] I thought it was absolutely inaccessible.

[867] It was the coolest thing I've ever seen.

[868] I think that's the best thing parents can do is they tell your kids there's no way I'm getting that for you.

[869] Set the expectation at negative 10.

[870] And then when it turns up, it's like, holy shit.

[871] Yes, my love.

[872] I was terrified and I went to that one all the way.

[873] back there where it's really dark and I thought.

[874] I saw the lights right there.

[875] So Rob, are you concerned at all that Calvin called me dad?

[876] No, he's bad with words.

[877] Calvin just called me dad.

[878] My dad, which felt great.

[879] And Rob was there and I want to know how he feels about it.

[880] There was two of your kids there calling you dad to excuses, excuses, excuse.

[881] If he called you me, daddy, you'd be sad, right?

[882] Yeah, that'd be less of an accident.

[883] Less of an accident.

[884] He also gets confused with names, though.

[885] Sure.

[886] Okay, I feel like this is what having kids, you tell me, is about.

[887] Like, during this process, you're so annoyed.

[888] You have to look around, they're crying, they're in the bushes, they're upset, they want the phone.

[889] And then at the end, you're like, oh, that was such a beautiful thing I did with my kid.

[890] So magical and special.

[891] I wish I was more patient.

[892] I do wonder how long it would have taken us with no children.

[893] But then you lose out on the wonder, you know, the childlike wonder.

[894] I love it here.

[895] Me too.

[896] Yeah, that's really pretty.

[897] It's so fat.

[898] It's like really magical.

[899] You know it would make this better?

[900] We came back without kids.

[901] See, this is what you say now.

[902] But at the end, he's going to drive home and he's going to think he did such a wonderful thing with his child.

[903] Yeah.

[904] Christmas spirit.

[905] Wonder.

[906] The magic.

[907] The magic.

[908] You've given your son magic, Rob.

[909] It's a metaphor for parenthood in general.

[910] The walk through it is shit.

[911] I think they say the same about butt sex.

[912] I don't know.

[913] I think it depends on who you are in this scenario.

[914] I love it in here, Dex.

[915] Isn't it wonderful?

[916] Yes.

[917] Yeah, it's magical.

[918] Very soothing.

[919] Yeah.

[920] You'd never get this in New Zealand ever.

[921] Not something of the scale.

[922] Why do you suppose?

[923] Too ostentatious?

[924] It's too shy.

[925] It's too showy.

[926] It's bragy.

[927] Yeah, it's bragy.

[928] Yeah, I like...

[929] This is a real fuck you to everyone else, isn't it?

[930] Yeah, it is, and I love it.

[931] Wait, what is this place called?

[932] This Gantogardons.

[933] That's right.

[934] The Gantgo Garden.

[935] The Gantgo Garden.

[936] Um, what is their favorite fruit?

[937] Pickles.

[938] Dad and I even broke.

[939] What's the favorite?

[940] Bethlehem.

[941] Apples.

[942] How did you like this trip?

[943] How did you like this trip?

[944] I'll tell you I loved this trip, but more than the trip, I really like the people that were on the trip, particularly you.

[945] Who's your favorite person here?

[946] Don't worry.

[947] Don't worry about hurting anyone's feelings.

[948] Just who's your favorite person here?

[949] You can't say your daddy.

[950] Everyone.

[951] Everyone.

[952] You have a beautiful heart, and you'll never make anything of yourself.

[953] Okay?

[954] Daddy, what's your favorite?

[955] person here.

[956] You?

[957] Who's the favorite person here?

[958] Who's my favorite person here?

[959] It's a two -way tie between these two.

[960] Lincoln and Delta.

[961] You are a favorite person here.

[962] Oh, Calvin, it has to be you.

[963] You're your favorite person here.

[964] Tonight, I've had the most fun with you.

[965] You won.

[966] You won.

[967] You're the most popular person here.

[968] Calvin, I need to teach you about who, about liars.

[969] I've had the most fun of here.

[970] Do you have a very favorite Christmas of your life in a favorite present you ever got for Christmas?

[971] Ooh, yes.

[972] The best Christmas in it was probably the same year as the gift.

[973] If you know me, you know those are combined.

[974] I was probably five or something.

[975] That's the year of my favorite.

[976] Really?

[977] It's never gotten better.

[978] Never.

[979] Because my parents really loved me then.

[980] They cared so much about my happy.

[981] You were that cute baby.

[982] You weren't a brat yet.

[983] I was.

[984] Yeah.

[985] But this Christmas turned me into a brat.

[986] Oh, yeah.

[987] This is the turning -val.

[988] They got me this big flat Stanley set.

[989] It was this big dollhouse, but it was flat.

[990] And then you had all these flat people.

[991] But they built it up, and it was Santa still.

[992] Oh, wow.

[993] Was it humongous?

[994] I mean, to me it was.

[995] It was probably two feet.

[996] Right.

[997] But you were 19 inches tall.

[998] Yeah.

[999] So it was a mansion.

[1000] Ooh, I have to revisit something with Kristen in private.

[1001] Okay, what are your Christmas gifts this year?

[1002] I got Hannah and Nicole the same thing as I got you.

[1003] You're different, and there's only one of each of them.

[1004] Oh, my.

[1005] That gives you any clue.

[1006] No, it doesn't, and I'm stumped.

[1007] It's one of your favorite thing that represents all of your favorite things.

[1008] There's no way you'd guess any.

[1009] Really?

[1010] I'm so excited.

[1011] Ooh, now we're at the gift portion.

[1012] Ding, ding, ding.

[1013] Wow.

[1014] You got to ask Dad, I'm not doing that tonight.

[1015] Way to be strong.

[1016] Thanks.

[1017] Love that.

[1018] I love that.

[1019] You know what I gave to myself for Christmas this boundaries?

[1020] That's a good gift.

[1021] You know, I did buy myself a toaster, and I think I'm going to wrap it, because it's a four -toast toaster.

[1022] Uh -huh.

[1023] Those are great.

[1024] I find saves so much time when I'm making two lunches and sandwiches.

[1025] Yeah.

[1026] But I'm thinking, even though I've got it for myself, I might wrap it up and address it to Dax.

[1027] Why?

[1028] I don't know, just to fluff up the tree a little bit.

[1029] No, address it to you.

[1030] This was incredible.

[1031] Thank you so much.

[1032] I really, really appreciate you having us.

[1033] Yeah, thanks for supporting us, and you're always welcome.

[1034] We'll be back every single year.

[1035] Have an amazing holiday.

[1036] Have a wonderful trip to the Nettarlands.

[1037] What is it?

[1038] Naderlons.

[1039] Naderlons.

[1040] Have a great trip to the Netherlands.

[1041] All right, have fun shopping.

[1042] Love you guys.

[1043] Love you.

[1044] That was a fun night.

[1045] Really fun.

[1046] You know how when there's like a standout performance in a movie and it's the first time, they'll say introducing in the titles, right?

[1047] It's really a big deal.

[1048] It's a big deal.

[1049] I think clearly this whole episode is introducing Calvin.

[1050] A hundred percent.

[1051] Yeah, he was definitely the big, big star of the show.

[1052] Yeah.

[1053] He's coming for us.

[1054] That little voice.

[1055] You got to get him working hard, Rob, reading tons of cartoons.

[1056] You've got to do, like, seasons and seasons of content while he still has that funny voice.

[1057] He loves microphones.

[1058] Any of it around my house, he grabs and will not let go up.

[1059] Definitely exploit him.

[1060] Definitely exploit him.

[1061] Think about it as an investment in his future, because you could save 10 or 15 % of the money for him to use later in life.

[1062] Yeah, and he'll, like, only lose 60 to 70 % of his soul.

[1063] Yeah.

[1064] So it's like, fine.

[1065] That's a trade -off.

[1066] Yeah.

[1067] How tips he.

[1068] were you by the end of that?

[1069] Not really.

[1070] No, you only had two whiskeys, ciders.

[1071] Well, I threw out half of the first one because it got cold.

[1072] I was freezing.

[1073] Because you were fashion above function.

[1074] And I appreciate it.

[1075] I told you you looked fantastic.

[1076] I know.

[1077] You had a cool outfit on.

[1078] You had your really cool armchair jacket that Wobbywob got us a few Christmases ago.

[1079] I did.

[1080] But you had to leave it open.

[1081] That was the thing.

[1082] You wouldn't even close it because it would fuck up the look.

[1083] And the sound.

[1084] Oh, that's a pretty good excuse.

[1085] Yeah.

[1086] I thought you just were leaving it undone so that we could get the sweater popping through.

[1087] No, I mean, to be honest, I never zip up jackets.

[1088] You know, that's how they work.

[1089] I don't think I've ever zipped up a jacket.

[1090] Anyway, yeah, and I was wearing a skirt.

[1091] I didn't know it was going to be that cold.

[1092] I was unprepared for it to be that cold, too.

[1093] Yeah, it was freezing.

[1094] So the cider was nice when it was hot.

[1095] But then when it turned, I had to throw it away.

[1096] You were also peeing a lot, which is weird.

[1097] You were kind of all topsy -turvy.

[1098] I peed once, which is a lot.

[1099] The bathroom was at the beginning, so you had to leave.

[1100] Yes, I'm also, it should be pointed out.

[1101] I'm saying the name of the place wrong, the entire soup to nuts.

[1102] I say it wrong.

[1103] Which is pretty funny because Lincoln asked you specifically what's this place called and then you name it incorrectly.

[1104] But it's tricky because it's Descanso gardens and you're saying discanto.

[1105] But the reason you're saying Descanto is because Encanto.

[1106] But I think I've been saying Descanto before the Descanso movie was out, or in Sconsa.

[1107] Yeah, I had it wrong the whole time.

[1108] But a beautiful place.

[1109] Everyone should visit it.

[1110] It's gorgeous.

[1111] But fucking cold as shit.

[1112] Yeah, now I know.

[1113] I know what to do next year.

[1114] It's so cool that they serve alcohol there.

[1115] Because it's a public place, you know, owned by the city, it seems weird that they serve booze there.

[1116] I like it.

[1117] Yeah.

[1118] I love it.

[1119] We're not going to dive deep into that just in case they're doing something illegal.

[1120] Right.

[1121] That's a good point, too.

[1122] We want everyone else to enjoy.

[1123] we have presents ticket yeah should we do presies yeah let's do it okay i think we should tradition would suggest that we should go in order of age oh this is exciting also dax wrapped so well the best day i've had in the last 30 was the three hours i dedicated to wrapping presents on saturday i carved out the time and i got in the bus and the audio system's been fixed it's got a subover So I was blasting music and I was rapping.

[1124] And every time I finished, I would fucking dance for like 30 seconds, dancing my heart out.

[1125] Wow.

[1126] And then get back into another present.

[1127] Wow.

[1128] Yeah, I was on a high fucking rapping those presents and dancing.

[1129] I could have wrapped a thousand presents.

[1130] I was sad when I ran out.

[1131] Okay, Rob, are you ready to open monicas?

[1132] All right.

[1133] It says, Wavi, check your email.

[1134] Oh, my God.

[1135] Now you need a computer.

[1136] It's like a scavenger hunt.

[1137] Gift card to hatchet hole.

[1138] Hatchet Hall.

[1139] Tell me about Hatchet Hall.

[1140] The best restaurant I've been to this year in L .A. Really?

[1141] So good.

[1142] It is in Culver City, but you have to go to Culver City sometimes.

[1143] Yeah, I play softball in Clover City and Calvin's grandma's in Culver City.

[1144] There we go.

[1145] And your Guma lives in Century City, which is right next door.

[1146] Do you want a Guma's?

[1147] Grandma?

[1148] It's Italian for Mistress.

[1149] Oh, my.

[1150] Oh, wow.

[1151] It sounds too close to Grandma.

[1152] Yeah.

[1153] Anyway, I think you'll really like it.

[1154] Thank you.

[1155] I also did get you something else, but I searched my email for the confirmation, and I'm worried it didn't go through.

[1156] Then I went to see if I could just buy it again, and it's sold out.

[1157] So we'll see if it comes, so I'm not going to say what it is.

[1158] You're going to have to participate in mine a little bit.

[1159] So first you're free to just read it and then open the first part of it.

[1160] Oh, my God.

[1161] I love it.

[1162] This is steps, too.

[1163] Read what's inside of this.

[1164] The name tag is cute.

[1165] This is for the Wobbiest of Wabs from Dan.

[1166] Yeah, Wobbies of Wobbies.

[1167] This is Happy Holidays all over?

[1168] We really wanted to be the name of Calvin's new cartoon.

[1169] Wobbiesed of Wobbies.

[1170] Yeah, the Wobbiest of Wobs.

[1171] Oh, we forgot what Calvin did at the end of the gardens.

[1172] Oh, we have to talk about this.

[1173] What did you do?

[1174] So we went in the gift shop, and I told him he could pick out one thing.

[1175] Yeah.

[1176] So we picked this, like, candy stick that was stacked with different gummies.

[1177] Yeah.

[1178] And then when Monica, we went.

[1179] was leaving, he insisted that she take it and gave it to her.

[1180] Okay.

[1181] It was so sweet.

[1182] He was sad that night was ending.

[1183] And he offered me the tree, and I said, I can't.

[1184] No, that's yours.

[1185] But he really insisted.

[1186] And then I felt, well, I have to, because then he'll feel rejected.

[1187] Yes.

[1188] So then I took it and then kind of walked away a little bit and was trying to sort of flag wrong.

[1189] down and then he walked rob walked over and said yeah he looked at me and was like can i go get another one that was right and then you had to well he just took my back oh you secretly and i was like well i got you oh wow so he got four yeah yeah okay so you like road trips and this is one of my favorite things for road trips oh what's it gonna be oh oh thank you It's a gorgeous yellow, Yeti cooler.

[1190] It's armchair yellow.

[1191] That's right.

[1192] Now go ahead and open it up.

[1193] So that's for road trips.

[1194] That's for taking road trips.

[1195] Thank you.

[1196] I saw it and I wanted it for me, but I can't buy anything.

[1197] All right, you got to read this in order.

[1198] All right, so hold that up.

[1199] Okay.

[1200] You and your clan are staying here 4 -6 -23 to 4 -8 -23.

[1201] First of all, beautiful.

[1202] Bartasano, it looks like it.

[1203] Oh, my gosh.

[1204] You have a room with a king -sized bed and a queen -sized bed.

[1205] Amazing.

[1206] And we're eating at the French Laundry.

[1207] Thank you.

[1208] Wow.

[1209] It's the hardest I've ever worked for Christmas present.

[1210] Getting a reservation three months out at French Laundry is not possible.

[1211] I DM, then I had a concierge, then I had to raise hell.

[1212] I really thought this isn't going to happen.

[1213] And then just days ago, I finally got in touch with somebody in you, our reservation.

[1214] That's amazing, thank you.

[1215] Yes, and I, of course, I'm paying for all the stuff while you're there.

[1216] Thank you.

[1217] You're welcome.

[1218] Four six to four, eight.

[1219] I even got to conspire with Natalie.

[1220] Fun.

[1221] Yeah.

[1222] She likes doing that.

[1223] Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[1224] She has your way out in fucking April, but hey.

[1225] Well, my first thought was, we'll make sure you don't be recording.

[1226] Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[1227] Check the cow.

[1228] Yeah.

[1229] Thank you.

[1230] You're welcome.

[1231] Oh, my gosh.

[1232] Are you going to take your cooler on the trip to Northern California?

[1233] Absolutely.

[1234] Yeah.

[1235] Great.

[1236] It's all works together I love it Stay tuned for more Armchair expert If you dare Okay Monica's next Let me start handing you stuff Oh my god So many presents Which one should I open first?

[1237] Is there an order?

[1238] No Any way you'd like These are my small ones And then Wobby Wob and I teamed up On a bigger one Over there Yeah Big boy over there And that's my small one.

[1239] Oh, my God, you guys.

[1240] Okay.

[1241] This is where it's going to start feeling scripted.

[1242] Oh, no. Oh, my God.

[1243] Wow, it's big.

[1244] Okay.

[1245] Yes, this is amazing.

[1246] Light therapy lamp for self -diagnosed seasonal effect of disorder people.

[1247] You know, I talk about him often.

[1248] A friend of mine who I worshiped Don Roos, the writer.

[1249] He was telling me he has it.

[1250] and that completely changed everything.

[1251] So I got the same grant.

[1252] Thank you.

[1253] But now I need you to open.

[1254] Let me think what one is next.

[1255] Well, this is great because, you know, one time I did buy a little seasonal effective disorder lamp, but it was four inches tall.

[1256] Okay, so I got you two.

[1257] So this one's going to sit where you edit on your table so that you don't have to be concentrating on it.

[1258] That one is just to be existing in your presence.

[1259] And then the box and back.

[1260] Oh, I forgot to read.

[1261] Dang.

[1262] It said...

[1263] Biddle.

[1264] To biffle.

[1265] That's this one.

[1266] Oh, and that one probably says...

[1267] This one says to M. M. M. Mouse from D. Shep.

[1268] That one said Duchess of Duluth, then.

[1269] Yes, from the mayor of Melford.

[1270] Right.

[1271] Okay.

[1272] So, go ahead and open that one.

[1273] You know the hardest part about wrapping is these stickers you put on these little bows?

[1274] I can't get the fucking backing off.

[1275] So that's the one for your bedroom.

[1276] That's when you wake up in the morning and you actually go directly to your face.

[1277] Wow.

[1278] Okay.

[1279] Oh my God.

[1280] Yeah, so now they're going to be in both zones of your living space.

[1281] They're everywhere.

[1282] Yeah, one by your computer area and then one in your bedroom.

[1283] This is great.

[1284] Fight the Winter Blues.

[1285] It literally says Fight the Winter Blues on it.

[1286] What if it said Monica?

[1287] Fight the Winter Blues.

[1288] Wow.

[1289] So should I put it on my nightstand?

[1290] Yeah, that one should go on your past.

[1291] passenger side nightstand not where you're putting your drinks and stuff okay or your vices remember i talked to you and all your vices were on there too thick a glass of wine and a coffee wow this is so thoughtful thank you're welcome thank you okay well okay that's too that's great let's go to the third okay this one's for biffel which stands for best friend that's a nickname yep from oh this is our game there's a game okay what is it it's from K -O -A -C K -O -A -C do you think there's like a riddle I know it's the game we used to play yes yes yes the dictloids or whatever it was called Kristen no right okay kill killer Megalith I don't see megalith on here I need a clue I think Yeah.

[1292] Is it the king of armchairs?

[1293] Really close.

[1294] You got the first one.

[1295] King of arm cherries.

[1296] A king of all.

[1297] Yeah.

[1298] Oh, my God.

[1299] Obviously, my moniker's not taking off as I had hoped.

[1300] Oh, king of all.

[1301] Conveillance.

[1302] There you go.

[1303] King of all conveyance.

[1304] Okay, we need to, yeah, I think we need to work on saying that a little more.

[1305] It's not taking off.

[1306] I'm not picking up.

[1307] They're not all winters.

[1308] They're not all winners.

[1309] Oh, my.

[1310] Wow.

[1311] A heat lamp.

[1312] A vornado, but it's really stylish.

[1313] It is.

[1314] I got myself the off -mint green one.

[1315] If you want that one, you can have it.

[1316] No, I like it.

[1317] You would like the off -white one more.

[1318] Yes.

[1319] Oh, my God.

[1320] It's a heat lamp, but it's a retro style.

[1321] Yeah.

[1322] And you are just complaining the other day that you were cold in your bedroom.

[1323] Cold a lot.

[1324] Yeah, even though you...

[1325] Wow, these are really sweet.

[1326] These are all gifts for my health.

[1327] Yeah, gifts for your health and your happiness.

[1328] Yeah.

[1329] Yeah, this is really cool.

[1330] It's cool looking, right?

[1331] Yeah.

[1332] I like it.

[1333] Yeah, I'm using one now in the Black Mold Paradise.

[1334] Does it work well?

[1335] Oh, yay.

[1336] Oh, yay.

[1337] And as we said, it's cold in L .A. now.

[1338] Wow, thank you.

[1339] Thank you.

[1340] You're welcome.

[1341] Now Wabi Wob's got a side piece.

[1342] This is a really pretty wrapping, really good.

[1343] Much better than, yeah.

[1344] No. Well, no, it is a hand -tied bow.

[1345] It is a beautiful bow.

[1346] Is it from paper source?

[1347] No, it's from this place and Atwater, the social life?

[1348] Atelier.

[1349] It's got like, attelier.

[1350] Atelier.

[1351] Did you go to an attelier for this?

[1352] It's got a lot of the paper source stuff.

[1353] I think they actually have paper source paper.

[1354] Yeah, I went to Walgreens from all my setup.

[1355] Well, you were complimented on this.

[1356] Well, it's bigger, too.

[1357] I couldn't be buying fancy.

[1358] I have a lot of linear feet to cover.

[1359] It has a picture of me on it.

[1360] Oh, my gosh.

[1361] Brown girl.

[1362] In a red hat.

[1363] They're coat white open in the middle of winter.

[1364] Kent doesn't know that zipping it up will be helpful.

[1365] I didn't know.

[1366] Could change my whole life with that knowledge.

[1367] Let it rip.

[1368] Oh, my gosh.

[1369] Oh, my God.

[1370] Tell me. What do we got?

[1371] Well, I wonder if it's.

[1372] If it's sexy lingerie after the.

[1373] conversation you guys have got to say i bet it's lunea pajamas wow is rob of course oh my god it's a lingua franca which i love i love these sweaters they're beautiful cashmere attiliers sweaters it has mixed messages on it which is so perfect and it is a gorgeous color it's kind of inviting too by the way If I saw, if I was single and I saw a girl with a sweatshirt on that said mixed messages, I feel like it would be, yeah, and it's an invite, a little bit of an invite.

[1374] Well, you know, next year is Viva Magenta.

[1375] It's supposed to be an exuberant year.

[1376] So I'll wear this a lot.

[1377] This is so cute.

[1378] Thank you.

[1379] Oh my God, I love it.

[1380] Really sweet.

[1381] Wow.

[1382] I really like the color.

[1383] Very, autumnal color.

[1384] I think I matched it to as close to the Constance Wu.

[1385] sweater that you were wearing because people really complimented that one oh another beautiful wrapping paper same one that's probably like 60 bucks worth of wrapping paper now then I know that he got it in an attelier it says two miniature max from dachs and wabi -rob oh my god oh it's beyond what what what wait whoa whoa this is no joke this is like what an audio file would have yes I have this record player.

[1386] This, it's like the fanciest record player.

[1387] Oh, it's obnoxious.

[1388] You got to hear the funny backstory for this.

[1389] Okay, tell me. Wow.

[1390] So a couple, I guess a week ago, we were doing the fact check, and you're telling the story about being sad that your record player was stolen from you.

[1391] No. Oh.

[1392] You say you were sad.

[1393] So I'm like, ding, ding, ding, I got to buy her that record player.

[1394] So we, we wrap the show.

[1395] 30 minutes later, I'm ordering one.

[1396] I ordered it.

[1397] And then I text Rob, thinking, fuck, I bet he, he might have thought the same thing.

[1398] So I said, oh, no, did you also?

[1399] He's like, yes, I got her this one.

[1400] And then I was like, oh, my God, it's like a hundred times more expensive than the one I got.

[1401] So I said, I said, okay, what if we, let's combine this.

[1402] And he goes, okay, then we can get her all the accessories.

[1403] Oh, my God.

[1404] So I canceled the one I had bought you.

[1405] And then we teamed up for this.

[1406] That's so nice.

[1407] Suck it, Ryan.

[1408] I got the best record player.

[1409] Oh, wow.

[1410] Okay, I'm going to need someone to come.

[1411] He'll help me. Yeah.

[1412] There's actually one more piece to it that hasn't come yet.

[1413] The subwoofer?

[1414] No, that's this.

[1415] The subwoofer is in there.

[1416] So it's an Andover turntable.

[1417] Oh, wow.

[1418] And it's like a stackable cabinet.

[1419] So the base is a subwoofer.

[1420] And then there'll be like a little compartment where the records go.

[1421] Oh, my God.

[1422] No, this is a whole, like some dude's going to come over and he's going to be like, bong, why do you have this?

[1423] And it's like your car.

[1424] And my sweater?

[1425] God.

[1426] But then he's going to look at your bright lights.

[1427] He's like, she's depressed.

[1428] What's all this shit?

[1429] Are you okay?

[1430] Like so cold.

[1431] It's sitting in front of the light.

[1432] Sad music playing on the record player.

[1433] Like bambabababab trying to get yourself in a good mood.

[1434] This is incredible.

[1435] Thank you guys.

[1436] Wow.

[1437] Good job, Rob.

[1438] Picking it all.

[1439] Knowing the good shot of it.

[1440] Yeah, mine was just much less impressive.

[1441] If I never text him and just, Just, you would have opened up my much less nice record player than this would have shown up.

[1442] And then I would have jumped out the window head first.

[1443] That was my last Christmas.

[1444] No, this is so, that worked out so perfect.

[1445] Oh, my God.

[1446] I'm so excited.

[1447] And now I get to play my.

[1448] Yes, that's what I'm saying.

[1449] This feels so scripted.

[1450] You're like, yeah, I have this Charlie Brown record.

[1451] I'd love to play, but I don't.

[1452] And you were saying that you were sad from no light because of since the daylight saving.

[1453] Yes, it's not impossible.

[1454] Wow.

[1455] Amazing.

[1456] Thank you guys.

[1457] All right, Daddy's up.

[1458] I'm next.

[1459] Where's my presents?

[1460] Here's my present.

[1461] Wabiwab.

[1462] Again, beautifully, beautifully.

[1463] Hand -tied bow.

[1464] Beautiful, artisanal attelier wrapping paper.

[1465] Oh, yes.

[1466] And it says, Merry Christmas Dax.

[1467] Two Dax from Wabiwob.

[1468] Okay.

[1469] Oh, my God.

[1470] This is my first president.

[1471] of the season.

[1472] How exciting.

[1473] Have you already seen this?

[1474] No. Okay, great.

[1475] So you're going to see it first, basically, because I have the back to me. It's clearly a frame something.

[1476] Oh, my God.

[1477] So, wow.

[1478] So I'm looking at your face.

[1479] I'm building anticipation.

[1480] I almost never want to turn it around.

[1481] Is this called gift edging?

[1482] Yeah.

[1483] Yes, yes, yes.

[1484] Okay, turn it around.

[1485] It's great.

[1486] Okay, okay.

[1487] Oh, it's beautiful.

[1488] It's beautiful.

[1489] beautiful it's a beautiful painting of a baby crow raven that's about to snip snip eat some cherries oh my god is it the same guy is it the same artist no it's my friend esau andrews oh yeah i met esau all right yeah yeah had a zoom with he's my favorite painter and he doesn't really commission stuff it's beautiful that crow is gorgeous it's so beautiful and has the blue in it the way my tattoo has it oh wabi we have to hang it we have to also hang it i love that wabi has like we both go to the same place like oh same artist no another one of my friends he's got like a stable of brilliant artist he calls upon i love that it's about to eat some cherries up yes i love this we should probably name him he looks like a little baby bird too he's gonna be not like a big grouchy crow yet no he's He's still playful.

[1490] Yeah.

[1491] He doesn't know he shouldn't play with the eagles.

[1492] But he hasn't learned yet.

[1493] He hasn't had to learn yet.

[1494] This was probably painted right before he got eaten.

[1495] No. No, no, no, no. Oh, it's beautiful.

[1496] Wabi.

[1497] Okay, where's yours?

[1498] I just had it.

[1499] But I don't have one, right?

[1500] Isn't that what you primed me for?

[1501] Well, it's pictures of what it is.

[1502] That's what I did.

[1503] It had been in that pile of...

[1504] Oh, God, I got to put in the scraps.

[1505] Wasn't it on the...

[1506] It was right here.

[1507] On the couch with your other card, Tawabi?

[1508] Yeah, it has a...

[1509] Oh, here it is.

[1510] Oh, found it.

[1511] In the trash can.

[1512] Right under the old burritos.

[1513] First, there's an attelier.

[1514] You know, years...

[1515] Ding, ding, ding.

[1516] Your birthday...

[1517] Is around the corner.

[1518] Is around the corner.

[1519] Uh -huh.

[1520] It did best.

[1521] with your birthday gift than I did for Christmas.

[1522] So that would be my preference, you know me. Because you want the birthday to edge my way all the way to the big.

[1523] And because it's not fair to your birthday, you know what I mean?

[1524] Right, right, right.

[1525] Okay, here we go.

[1526] I'm flipping it over.

[1527] Two megalith and the robot coming soon miniature.

[1528] Mouse?

[1529] What did I put?

[1530] Well, it looks like mouse, but it also looks like an eye.

[1531] I might have misspelled it.

[1532] Fred Siegel.

[1533] It's a T -shirt.

[1534] It's a Spade's T -shirt from Fred Segal.

[1535] Yeah.

[1536] Oh, cool.

[1537] It's a cool shirt.

[1538] I like it.

[1539] I always want a new T -shirt.

[1540] When I get it, when I wear it too much, and then I get it self -conscious that I never am changing out of it.

[1541] True medic Shihatsu foot massager with heat, deep, kneading.

[1542] Electric foot massage machine stimulates tired muscles, relax, and relief foot, neuropathy pain, and circulation, IS4 ,000 I. I have it on good authority.

[1543] This is a very good foot massager.

[1544] Really?

[1545] Yes.

[1546] From what authority?

[1547] A trusted brand, I know.

[1548] A trusted lady, I know.

[1549] Oh, okay.

[1550] Her name's Emily.

[1551] So curious.

[1552] Yeah.

[1553] And she said it was one of the best if she, they got.

[1554] I wonder how silent it is because what would be ideal is if I could have that right in front of me while I'm interviewing people and just be like, like everyone's getting a knock.

[1555] We'll see.

[1556] We'll see the sound.

[1557] Yeah.

[1558] Your parents got divorced.

[1559] You're three.

[1560] Oh, I can't wait.

[1561] I'm going to get in my new cool t -shirt and I'm going to get my feet massage.

[1562] Massage all day long.

[1563] Oh, wow.

[1564] Also, I have a feeling that's a gift for your whole fam.

[1565] Yeah.

[1566] I think we both have a hunch.

[1567] who will be spending a lot of time riding that machine.

[1568] But you can also keep it up here.

[1569] Because while you're riding.

[1570] Maybe while you're writing.

[1571] It might unlock all new doors and avenues.

[1572] Oh my God.

[1573] I can't wait.

[1574] When's my t -shirt get here?

[1575] I don't, okay, to be honest, this is like the socks.

[1576] I don't know what's going on.

[1577] When I click tracking, it said label made or whatever.

[1578] But then when I, it said you could also go to this app.

[1579] And when I went to the app, it said delivered two hours ago.

[1580] And then I was looking and I was like, it's not.

[1581] been delivered two hours ago and then I so you know do you think you were a victim of theft and I guess I was a victim of that I don't okay I noticed your apartment I drove by yesterday and the way home from the roller skate rink there yeah okay good or bad I don't like it heightened security but who's kidding who look like I could jump right over it no it's probably just inconvenient it's inconvenient because they lock it at night oh god but at night there's a curfew now at your yeah and then I'm out there, like, fiddling with a key.

[1582] And then you're going to get stabbed and mug.

[1583] And at the time, you definitely don't want to be doing that.

[1584] Yes.

[1585] You want to run into your apartment, but no, you've got enough fun like you're in a horror movie.

[1586] Exactly.

[1587] And Liz is behind you.

[1588] Merry Christmas, Monica.

[1589] Or like that guy who touched my back.

[1590] Oh, yeah.

[1591] That was this year.

[1592] He's probably been sniffing his finger ever since.

[1593] And the smell just wore off.

[1594] And he definitely needs to dip it back in the honey jar for 2020.

[1595] No wonder I have seasonal effect of disorder.

[1596] So I asked a question.

[1597] I don't know why I care so much about this question because I don't have an answer myself.

[1598] Okay.

[1599] But I want to know if anyone's experienced a Christmas miracle.

[1600] Oh.

[1601] It doesn't seem like it.

[1602] I don't know if I've witnessed a miracle in general, much less specifically a Christmas one.

[1603] Yes, you have.

[1604] This is a miracle.

[1605] Oh, yeah.

[1606] It was all to get you to say this was an interesting.

[1607] But does it?

[1608] I'm just kidding.

[1609] You really backed me into that.

[1610] I'm a miracle.

[1611] You got me to say it and also like guilted me and I should have thought of that right away.

[1612] Yeah, I guess because implicit in a miracle is some divine intervention.

[1613] Is that not the?

[1614] I mean, I guess depends.

[1615] Maybe we could redefine it and then I would, it would open up a whole.

[1616] Yes, I've seen people get sober that were like Aaron Winkley's a fucking miracle.

[1617] Yeah, exactly.

[1618] Yeah.

[1619] Not only is he like three and change sober.

[1620] Yeah.

[1621] But he looks maybe 24 years younger.

[1622] Yeah.

[1623] He's down to 250 right now.

[1624] He looks 29.

[1625] I'm like, well, this is not possible.

[1626] You were dead three years ago.

[1627] Wow.

[1628] Yeah.

[1629] That's amazing.

[1630] You should FaceTime him.

[1631] It's really jarring in a great way.

[1632] Whoa, you look gorgeous.

[1633] Whoa.

[1634] Get ready.

[1635] Oh, my God.

[1636] I'm going to wear my new sweater.

[1637] Yeah, you're going to put on your sweater and get your lights going and get the heat on.

[1638] And he's going to send you right into the stratosphere.

[1639] Wow.

[1640] Yeah, I mean, I guess that's a miracle.

[1641] It's not a Christmas miracle It has nothing to do with Christmas whatsoever But maybe that's a miracle I can concede to, yeah That's highly improbable Is a miracle just something that's highly improbable?

[1642] I think so Okay That should have been an armchair anonymous Christmas miracles Oh we didn't announce them Oh okay let's do it now Perfect timing Perfect timing Okay we're getting back into full swing Come January And we're gonna be Hitting you hard and fast With Armchair Anonymous And so our prompts for the month are, tell us about a crazy roommate experience.

[1643] Okay, that'll be juicy.

[1644] Another one is a big period mix -up hijinks slash hijinks.

[1645] So some period hyjinks slash mix -ups.

[1646] And then worst honeymoon ever.

[1647] Worst honeymoon ever.

[1648] If you've had a real shit honeymoon or something crazy happened on.

[1649] the honeymoon let us know yeah i'm excited so crazy roommate period hijinks and worst honeymoon january real quick our favorite holiday foods oh mine so easy rob i'm mine probably just the cookies we don't do much for meals yeah out here mine is shit on a shingle i recommend people do this it's the easiest thing in the world okay you're gonna get one pound of ground beef try to get it as fatty as possible.

[1650] It's not the time of year to give a fuck about the fat content.

[1651] It'll be much tastier.

[1652] If you can get it from a butcher, even better because you can get above 20 % there.

[1653] Then you want to get some Jimmy Dean hot sausage, okay, in the tube.

[1654] That's a pound as well.

[1655] Then you're going to want to get that medium -sized velvita block.

[1656] You don't need the full.

[1657] If you get the big boy, then you're not going to use all of it.

[1658] Rob, you're really dancing on razor plates right now.

[1659] Shake your culinary snobbery at me. okay and now here's how you're going to do this you're going to cut the velvita into cubes you're going to brown that beef and that sausage together you're going to drain it leave a good amount of fat in there then you're going to drop your cubes of velvita in there and then you're going to melt it all together and do a big paste now you're going to get a cookie sheet you're going to put out the little hors d 'oeuvre size rye bread these are kind of hard to find this is the most challenging part of the shit on the shingle Christmas version usually in the deli section they'll have a loaf of the tiny rye bread and then you lay those out you put a spoonful of the concoction on each cracker and then liberally douse with garlic salt and then throw it in the oven at like 425 nice and hot and then get it crispy on the outside and then it'll toast that bread underneath pull it out let it cool just enough and watch people trample each other to get to their because it sounds not that great you have one you gotta have a hundred yeah so in fact i'm glad we just brought this up because i should i want to start that now i don't want to wait till christmas i want to be eating that the whole time so i might get the ingredients today i do too that would have been if i were rob that's what i would have done yeah if i was as good as rob yeah i'm not good i made them yesterday not today i know yesterday also would have been good it's just i leave tomorrow.

[1660] Okay.

[1661] Well, I guess it's a push because my present's not here.

[1662] So maybe these two things it's a push.

[1663] That's right.

[1664] Those are white chocolate oatmeal cranberry cookies.

[1665] Yeah, maybe you should tell people how to make them.

[1666] They are incredible cookies.

[1667] They're so good.

[1668] So you're going to need eggs, dried cranberries, vanilla, butter, softened, white chocolate chips, dark brown sugar, white sugar, flour, cinnamon, baking soda, oats.

[1669] You want like the old -fashioned, oh, it's not quick -cook.

[1670] Right.

[1671] And some salt.

[1672] Mm. So you're taking the eggs, you beat those three eggs with a cup and a half of dried cranberries and a teaspoon of vanilla.

[1673] Mm. Let that sit for like an hour and really absorb into the cranberries.

[1674] Oh, that's why.

[1675] Yeah.

[1676] And then you're going to take a cup of dark brown sugar and a cup of white sugar.

[1677] mix that together with one cup of softened butter.

[1678] So you let that kind of incorporate.

[1679] Then you add a teaspoon of salt, two and a half cups of white flour, two teaspoons of baking soda, one teaspoon of cinnamon.

[1680] Let all that kind of mix together.

[1681] You don't want to overmix it either.

[1682] Right.

[1683] That's a huge part of baking.

[1684] Brochip.

[1685] Yep.

[1686] And then two cups of oats go in there and a cup and a half of white chocolate chips.

[1687] And then those, you make them into little balls.

[1688] I kind of flatten them a little bit.

[1689] They go in the oven for 350.

[1690] I do eight minutes, two sheets.

[1691] And then I take them out, flip them, flip the trays.

[1692] Rotate them.

[1693] Rotate and flip.

[1694] And then they go in another like seven and a half minutes.

[1695] 15 and a half all in.

[1696] Yeah.

[1697] That's a big bake, period.

[1698] At 350.

[1699] they're so good it's worth it guys make these and make shit on a shingle yeah they would be great companion pieces because one's salty as hell and one's sweet you can bounce back and forth all night long right well i love you guys love you oh merry christmas you know i'm gonna get sacrin on you i feel quite lucky that i would had a we had a christmas party i'd want to be at i guess that's the simplest way for me to say it so lucky i'm excited to see everyone that shows up i'm not like oh fucking darrell's coming he's going to be hammered he's going to bring his wife who's going to try to fuck everyone you know none of that shit's going on it's just beautiful and i'm so grateful that we all get to do this together me too me too and we'll see you guys in the new year 20203 viva magenta do you think people will be mad if i don't sing oh yeah i think people will be really mad about it out with a song.

[1700] Do it.

[1701] Yeah, when I get it this close, I can no longer see.

[1702] Ha, ha.

[1703] Hey, those side bells, jing, jingling.

[1704] What a beautiful side.

[1705] Jump in bed over your hair.

[1706] The line falls going to be made.

[1707] That's probably enough of that song of that song to give people what they were looking for.

[1708] Wow, you stopped yourself.

[1709] That's a huge improvement.

[1710] Christmas miracle.

[1711] Oh, my God.

[1712] You wanted it.

[1713] You got it.

[1714] A Christmas miracle real time.

[1715] Again, it's all things been scripted.

[1716] This whole thing's a racket and a sham.

[1717] Don't listen to it.

[1718] Everything's fake.

[1719] I love you guys.

[1720] Follow Armchair Expert on the Wondry app, Amazon Music, or wherever you get your podcasts.

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