Salma Hayek

[0] Welcome, welcome, welcome to armchair expert.

[1] I'm Dan Shepard and I'm joined by Mrs. Mouse.

[2] Hello, Mr. Shepard.

[3] How are you?

[4] Oh, I'm great because we're talking about the most charming person ever.

[5] Guys, we have never been put in such a drunken stupor by another human being.

[6] And it was 7 .30 in the morning, our earliest interview.

[7] I'll be honest.

[8] I came in with a chip on my shoulder.

[9] I was like, it's too early for me. And then within four seconds, I was like, this was the best decision we've ever made our lives.

[10] Selma Hayek.

[11] Salma Hayek.

[12] She's an actress.

[13] She's a producer.

[14] She was nominated for Frida.

[15] She was awesome in from dust till dawn.

[16] We get into Desperato, my favorite movie she's in.

[17] And of course, once upon a time in Mexico, she has a new movie that is out right now.

[18] It's called Bliss.

[19] And her co -star is Owen Wilson, which is so exciting.

[20] I haven't seen Owen in a movie in a while.

[21] And it was so lovely to see him.

[22] I just adore him.

[23] And also, he should come on the show.

[24] Oh, my God.

[25] I would love it.

[26] I'm sorry, Salma.

[27] We shouldn't be using your intro to invite him.

[28] on the show.

[29] But rest of sure, we do use the fact check to invite Leon Bridges on the show.

[30] So please enjoy Selma Hayek.

[31] Wondry Plus subscribers can listen to Armchair Expert early and ad free right now.

[32] Join Wondry Plus in the Wondry app or on Apple Podcasts.

[33] Or you can listen for free wherever you get your podcasts.

[34] Hello, guys.

[35] Hi.

[36] Can you hear us?

[37] I don't know how to use this.

[38] I don't, I like the big ones.

[39] Do you have big ones because I hate these things?

[40] They have big ones.

[41] We have huge ones.

[42] They're racist.

[43] They always get the little, they always get the little ones to the Mexicans.

[44] Well, and misogynistic.

[45] Don't leave that out.

[46] But she's a badass because she has them and she's sitting with you.

[47] Thank you.

[48] Yeah, you got to demand them, you know.

[49] But she also has a. huge penis so that's true you can't see it but it's here see by the way i'm sorry but nobody told me what is your name monica ah monica i can say that i already see what's happened everything just became clear about your entire life to me so i was like where that fuck is selma get her over here what's going on and you sat down and looked at your face and i was like take your time i don't give a shit what happens i want to watch you be sassy cute.

[50] Now I don't give a fuck.

[51] And I bet that's your whole life.

[52] I love you already.

[53] But I was looking like this at five in the morning.

[54] Wow.

[55] It's pretty infectious.

[56] You know, it's overwhelming.

[57] Anyways, I'm going to try to jog your memory right now.

[58] It was about eight years ago.

[59] Right now, I only know because my daughter's birthday is coming up and she was just about to be born.

[60] And I came to Paris for a last hurrah.

[61] And we had a night out on the town.

[62] Yes, when it was okay to go out in the town with groups of people and have nice conversations.

[63] And you can hug at the end.

[64] A Mexican, I'm a hugger.

[65] Yeah.

[66] And kiss twice, you know, they kiss twice.

[67] Yeah.

[68] And if you go to Lebanon, it's three.

[69] Really?

[70] What do you do?

[71] Cheek, cheek mouth?

[72] No, cheek, chick, chick.

[73] Oh, cheek, cheek, cheek.

[74] It's like when you cross the street and you have to look left, right, left.

[75] Oh, okay.

[76] Yeah, we had a beautiful dinner.

[77] It started with a dinner.

[78] It was a very formal affair.

[79] It was a dinner, and then it was out to a nightclub, and there was dancing.

[80] And we both liked to dance.

[81] That's what I remember.

[82] It was lovely.

[83] Of course I remember.

[84] You're not that forgetable.

[85] Because of the volume I speak at, the height, the extreme volume.

[86] Because of the nonsense that comes out of your mouth.

[87] Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[88] Because of the volume of your physicality.

[89] Yeah, yeah.

[90] you're quite unforgettable.

[91] Well, you too, you know, my wife said when we first started dating, she would regularly go, where is your volume now?

[92] Is it in the back ear?

[93] How do I turn you down?

[94] But you know what?

[95] Maybe I also extra remember you because you don't know this, but there's a lot of Mexican in you.

[96] Please tell me. I would love to hear how.

[97] Well, the volume.

[98] The volume.

[99] For once.

[100] You like your food, baby.

[101] Let's face it.

[102] I saw you eating.

[103] You enjoy it.

[104] Yeah.

[105] And we do something in Mexico that I love.

[106] But they do it in France too.

[107] You know, families eat the dinner.

[108] And then you stay just having a conversation.

[109] We call it so on a mesa.

[110] And it's really part of our culture.

[111] And it's part of the ritual of having a meal at a table.

[112] Yeah.

[113] I love that.

[114] I know.

[115] I think when you're American and you go to Europe and you notice people go to dinner and that's just like leg one of three hours at the restaurant.

[116] And then I think restaurant owners from America that go there go, oh, they never turn the restaurant over.

[117] Everyone just comes and that's where they're at for the night.

[118] And it's really lovely.

[119] Yes.

[120] You felt Mexican to me. Well, I'll take that as a great compliment given that you're, obviously, we're born in Mexico.

[121] And here's something I didn't know about you until I researched.

[122] you, which I find interesting is your father is Lebanese, yeah?

[123] Or he's Mexican Lebanese?

[124] Yes.

[125] Yes, my grandparents were really.

[126] This could just be my ignorance, but I don't think of Mexico as being a huge destination.

[127] Do you guys have a big Lebanese community in Mexico?

[128] Yes, we do.

[129] We have a huge one.

[130] But then you come to America.

[131] If you're Arab -Mexican, you're like all the way at the bottom.

[132] It's a double whammy.

[133] They still stop my brother every time he comes to the United States, you know?

[134] Uh -huh.

[135] It's like a double whammy.

[136] And so your grandparents had actually come from Lebanon, and your father was born in Mexico?

[137] In Mexico.

[138] And this is interesting.

[139] You were sent to school in Louisiana at 12.

[140] Almost right.

[141] I was not sent to school.

[142] I demanded to be sent to school.

[143] Okay.

[144] All right.

[145] And they didn't want to.

[146] I come from town that at the time was very small, but it was very strange also because that's where they decided to build.

[147] 85 % of all the refineries for oil in Mexico during the oil boom but the place was small but they were like them families with a lot of money and there was a girl that had been sent to a school Academy of the Sacred Heart Gran Catto Louisiana and you're so charming and I just want it out I know I know I know she's a brat she's like Delta that's great I just want it out of there I just want it out of there I just couldn't take it anymore.

[148] So my parents said, no, we're not sending you to boarding school.

[149] You're too young.

[150] And so the girl came for holidays.

[151] I got the address, the name.

[152] I sent the nuns a letter in Spanish, pretending I was my parents.

[153] They sent me the application in English.

[154] I got someone to translate and let me fill it out.

[155] I sent it.

[156] I got accepted.

[157] I said to my parents, is send me here or I will fail every subject in school.

[158] Ah, good, leverage.

[159] Blackmailing them.

[160] And they said, it doesn't work that way.

[161] But they were very moved that I had gone through that length to get myself in it.

[162] And so at 13, they sent me. Okay, I'm going to derail right now because Monica's right.

[163] I knew the night we hung out, but it needs a dressing.

[164] When you're as charming as you, you must love interacting with people, right?

[165] It's so fun and playful.

[166] Because everyone's smiling the whole time.

[167] Yes, like, I feel, yes, exactly.

[168] Like, have you always found in life that it's just fun to interact with people?

[169] You know, I've gone through faces, and I have been very social, sometimes in my life.

[170] And I have to say that sometimes, and lately, I also enjoy quality time with only a few people instead of big social.

[171] Actually, I'm liking the crowds less and less because there's no meaning to it.

[172] You know?

[173] The small chatting in this industry, you go to parties and it's a lot of like bad food, bad wine, sure.

[174] And networking.

[175] I do like connecting with people, but I do like, I wake up at five because I like that hour when nobody's awake.

[176] And you have that.

[177] moment of silence and you can hear the birds.

[178] Oh, yeah.

[179] I need that too.

[180] However, I have been an actress for 30 years and I've been doing press for that long, actually more.

[181] And I've gotten gotten sick of, like, it's like, oh, my God, I have to do so many interviews.

[182] But after the lockdown, I'm so excited to see you people talking to me. There's people I can talk to.

[183] There's the different people and the ones in my house.

[184] So I think that I'm enjoying it more than ever.

[185] Yeah, this show has saved both of us because, you know, I have a six and seven -year -old daughter, so I super relate to waking up in the morning, because if I don't do that, I'll never hear silence.

[186] I'll never not be answering a question or getting someone a drink.

[187] Yeah, it's the only time.

[188] It's the only time you get to listen to your own questions.

[189] Yeah, yeah.

[190] Okay, so really quick, you already kind of answered it because you knew a girl who had gone to the same school, but when I read that you went to Louisiana to study abroad, it's a little funny to me of the many places you could pick.

[191] No dig on Louisiana, but if I'm you, I'm probably going to try to go to New York or Los Angeles or I don't know.

[192] When you got to Louisiana, was it the America you were expecting?

[193] It was Cajun.

[194] There we go.

[195] I just wanted to get out.

[196] And yes, it was amazing.

[197] It was amazing.

[198] The school was big.

[199] You have to remember.

[200] and in this town I was going to a school first of all it's so hot and humid in there Santa Claus used to faint every time in Christmas because with the heat and the beer and you know there's nowhere conditioning in the classrooms and there is no art class or music class or none of that fancy stuff fancy school stuff and there's only a couple of them and then I go to this castle and I love to Riziana I love the people.

[201] I love their food.

[202] Oh, the food's crazy, right?

[203] I love their spirit.

[204] I love the jazz.

[205] I became a cheerleader at some point.

[206] Oh, you did?

[207] Yeah, so I would go to all the different towns.

[208] Oh, right for the games?

[209] For the games.

[210] And I loved it.

[211] I loved it.

[212] It was better than the America, I thought.

[213] Very spirited, lovely people.

[214] How was the speaking English part of it?

[215] Challenging.

[216] Very challenging.

[217] Yeah.

[218] Were there other Spanish speakers there?

[219] There were other Spanish -speaking people.

[220] Okay.

[221] And it was during really rough times in El Salvador.

[222] So there were a couple of girls there from El Salvador.

[223] There was a lot of people from Miami.

[224] They all speak Spanish.

[225] Yes, true, true.

[226] All those Americans are, you know.

[227] Yeah.

[228] There were a couple of other Mexicans and Argentinians.

[229] We had a little gang.

[230] Uh -huh.

[231] And I did something terrible I'm just remembering.

[232] Oh, good, good, good.

[233] That's what we trade in, terrible, regrettable stuff.

[234] In this time where people don't judge, I'm sure it's very safe to say it.

[235] I've never felt so safe in my life to open my mouth.

[236] Oh, I know.

[237] Also, we can cut it out.

[238] Yeah, we cut anything that would get us canceled.

[239] Monica, you've got my back, girl.

[240] I'm only sitting here because Monica has kept me here.

[241] So I remember, you know, I'm very messy, and they like you to be very neat in the dorm.

[242] Sure.

[243] And there was a girl from El Salvador who had OCD, and her family was going through hard times, so she needed to clean constantly.

[244] Right.

[245] Just to keep herself, you know, sane.

[246] So she was older than me, too.

[247] So she would always come to my room and say, oh, my God, this is a mess.

[248] Please let me organize it.

[249] And I'm like, be my guest.

[250] So, but then we used to go out in the weekends to the mall.

[251] Oh, yeah.

[252] And you take your money that your parents send you.

[253] At the time, I'm so old, I'm $20.

[254] What I did in the mall every time is go to the movies.

[255] I would go to the movies while everybody else is shopping or whatever, eating a taco bell.

[256] I'm like, I don't want to eat these tacos.

[257] I want to have my popcorn and watch two films, you know.

[258] Yeah.

[259] But she stopped getting the money.

[260] and so she couldn't come.

[261] So I said to her, I have an idea.

[262] Why don't I give you $20 a week as a gratitude gesture from the cleaning you do in my...

[263] Because she was doing it anyway.

[264] Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[265] That you do in my dorm and then you can come to the movies.

[266] Yes.

[267] Because I had offered and she said, no, no, no, I don't have the money.

[268] I got in a lot of trouble because they noticed that my room was never messy.

[269] And then they realized she was cleaning it And then they realized I was paying her And they said, you cannot hire a maid Inside of the dorm It seems like everyone was winning It is a really funny concept though If you think one of the students As a housekeeper By the way, she was sobbing She didn't feel she was my friend Ethically you're fine You're totally fine Ethically there's no dilemma here There's no dilemma here There's no dilemma.

[270] She wanted to clean your room.

[271] It's an interesting dilemma.

[272] I'm going to tell you why, because we're so quick to judge everything.

[273] Oh, yeah.

[274] To put it in a box where we can have an opinion that it's already prefabricated without taking details into consideration.

[275] Yes.

[276] And the order.

[277] What makes the story fine is the order.

[278] So she cleaned your room because she wanted to.

[279] And then you decided, hey, she don't have any money.

[280] Let me throw over some money so she can have fun.

[281] So that's the order.

[282] There's no problem there.

[283] Not because she wanted to want, it was a psychological thing.

[284] She needed to be organizing and cleaning.

[285] She needed to control a space because her life was completely out of control.

[286] So, but the order is she cleaned your room, you gave her some money.

[287] But if the headline says you gave her money to clean her room, that detail is what changes it all.

[288] What order I tell it in?

[289] Yeah.

[290] I understood it even better later in life.

[291] I had a boyfriend who was, again, had kind of the same problem.

[292] He has to be in control.

[293] Everything has to be perfect.

[294] And he was always complaining about my mess.

[295] Sure.

[296] Nonstop.

[297] I remember once we broke up and he was saying, I miss you so much.

[298] I even miss your mess.

[299] I have nothing to pick up.

[300] I'm going crazy.

[301] I would love to see you and Monica's roommates because you guys would have to go out and find two OCD people who love to clean.

[302] Monica, are you like me?

[303] I've gotten good now.

[304] When you have children, you pretend you've always been organized and you have to create a role for yourself.

[305] Yeah, you've got to model the behavior you want them to have.

[306] Exactly.

[307] Yeah.

[308] I'm not there yet.

[309] So your daughter, is she maybe 13 now or something?

[310] She's 13.

[311] Oh, my goodness.

[312] Is it so exciting for you to watch that?

[313] Well, A, when you were 13, you were in Louisiana going to the movies.

[314] You had your own housekeeper.

[315] Everything was great.

[316] Don't say that.

[317] Don't say that.

[318] I was my friend.

[319] She was my friend.

[320] I was inviting her.

[321] over for the weekend.

[322] Yes, I'm totally teasing.

[323] But do you remember that time in your life, you have to have such fondness because you were like, what autonomy?

[324] To leave the little town and to go be your own woman who goes to the mall.

[325] And it has to have a special place in your memory.

[326] Are you excited for her to be in that age?

[327] I'm terrified.

[328] Okay.

[329] I'm shitting myself, actually.

[330] But I am excited at the same time.

[331] Uh -huh.

[332] But by the way, the image of the autonomous woman going to the mall and thinking of getting in that school boss that says Academy of the Sacred Heart and you don't want anyone to see you in case there's a cute guy later on in the mosque.

[333] You don't want them to see you coming out of their boss with the Non's Academy of the Sacred Heart.

[334] Okay.

[335] But anyway, she's amazing.

[336] She's amazing.

[337] I'm super excited to be living this period in her life and kind of heartbroken that she has to go through it in the times of Corona.

[338] Yeah, what a bummer.

[339] Yeah, loving the time of cholera is an amazing book by Gabriel Garcia -Marquez, and I wonder if he would write Loving the Time of Corona if he was still alive now.

[340] Yeah, you're right.

[341] When I get excited for my daughters, I think, oh, my God, the first time you kiss another human being, what could be more exciting on planet Earth?

[342] I'm so excited for them to have them.

[343] You were excited because my husband is always very nervous about this part.

[344] No, it's my favorite part of having been alive.

[345] It's the greatest joy on planet Earth.

[346] It is the greatest joy.

[347] But you know, I have a husband I can kiss at home.

[348] This corona sucks for love life, single life.

[349] I mean, all my friends are like, what are we going to do?

[350] I know.

[351] I was talking to a friend who's recently single and she said, you know, look, I'd be fine with someone having an SDD, but I cannot risk getting Corona.

[352] And I thought, oh, that's wonderful.

[353] says it all.

[354] Exactly.

[355] You can kill you.

[356] A kiss can kill you.

[357] Yes.

[358] Or your in -laws or your grandparents.

[359] Or your parents.

[360] Yeah.

[361] To have that responsibility on your shoulders at that age is unfair.

[362] Yeah.

[363] Can I say something about your husband really quick?

[364] Yeah.

[365] He's the best.

[366] What a fucking nice, fun, generous, kind, warm guy.

[367] But beyond that, he's super sexy too.

[368] So I'm going to be honest.

[369] I didn't know who he was.

[370] I didn't know who he was.

[371] Well, I'll tell you, I'm admitting to something.

[372] I didn't know who he was.

[373] I just heard or maybe read in a headline that you had married a very rich guy.

[374] So I was like, oh, okay, she married a rich guy.

[375] Maybe that's why she married him.

[376] I don't know.

[377] I meet him and I'm like, this guy is so foxy.

[378] He's, oh, my God, the confidence, his eyes.

[379] He's so good looking and charming.

[380] And I was like, oh, this motherfucker could have been broke.

[381] He's a bombshell.

[382] You know, the thing is that in pictures, you cannot begin to go.

[383] guess the magic in him.

[384] And he's made me become a much better person and grow in such a good, healthy way.

[385] And you know, when I married him, everybody said, oh, it's arranged marriage, she married him for the money.

[386] I'm like, yeah, whatever, bitch.

[387] What you want, 15 years together.

[388] And we are strong in love.

[389] And I don't even get offended.

[390] I'm like, yeah, whatever.

[391] But that's such a dumb thing to say.

[392] You have money.

[393] Yes, of course.

[394] Like, why would you need to?

[395] No, because there's a lot of people that do it.

[396] They are, but I think it's a patriarchal thing to be like, well, she maybe did it for the money when it's like, you don't need to do anything for the money.

[397] You've made your own money.

[398] But you know, Monica, we're touching on a very interesting conversation.

[399] Yeah.

[400] There is a discrimination also to rich men.

[401] Immediately you think because somebody is rich might not be a good person.

[402] Sure.

[403] That's all they got.

[404] Might be somebody materialistic.

[405] Might be somebody that doesn't have values.

[406] Might be somebody that it's even stupid or that doesn't deserve it or that they did it.

[407] In order to have a lot of money, you did it the wrong way.

[408] There is all these preconceptions.

[409] And I had them, by the way.

[410] It was the last thing I wanted.

[411] It was not my type at all.

[412] And I came in with the preconceptions, and he melted all away.

[413] And they're controlling and they're this and their dad.

[414] And that's all they think about or they're workaholics.

[415] Yeah.

[416] My guy finishes work, no matter how hard it was, and trust me, he has a lot of responsibilities.

[417] Big smile on his face, happy to be home, happy to see me and the kids, make us laugh.

[418] I'm all still stressed out.

[419] We go on vacation.

[420] He completely shuts off.

[421] He's in the moment.

[422] And so it's not just an insult to me. I'm not the one being judged only.

[423] Oh, she's an actor.

[424] She's going for the money.

[425] Right.

[426] They cannot begin to imagine.

[427] What a joy that human being is.

[428] Yeah, you're right.

[429] Oh, he is, Monica, you know the feeling we're getting looking at her.

[430] Yeah.

[431] He has that.

[432] But you're right.

[433] You know, and I think it's more humans love characters.

[434] We like archetypes.

[435] We like story.

[436] I think we like to just think in archetypes.

[437] Oh.

[438] rich guy controlling workaholic actress wants to be a billionaire and since the Greeks you know there's archetypes in all the different calls everywhere you know forever since we exist it gives us comfort to have the archetypes yeah that people are predictable and we don't have to be worried we know what's coming that you can understand them but it's back to putting things into boxes yeah i don't like that i'm a rebel you are you're the ultimate rebel and i want to talk about about that.

[439] So first of all, I just want to walk through one or two things.

[440] So I became aware of you on Desperado.

[441] That movie blew my fucking mind.

[442] You blew my mind.

[443] Rodriguez blew my mind.

[444] It was just like, Antonio Banderas blew your mind.

[445] Third on that list.

[446] Yes, it was, it was you.

[447] He blew Kristen's mind.

[448] Oh, Kristen had a poster of him above her bed, yeah.

[449] Did she really?

[450] Not above her bed, but on her wall.

[451] And then so I, with help, got an Antonio Banderas poster, and I put it above our bed a couple years ago yeah oh my god it's an amazing poster because it feels like he's staring at both of us no matter where we're laying on the bed it's a really good poster i guess that's his magic but that movie was so original and the snappiness of the action and the choreography and the art form it was just so wonderful and i guess i just wanted to hear two seconds on like you having been in that movie was it so exciting to be in a movie with Antonio benderas and work with Rodriguez and all that.

[452] That was a big first -ish job.

[453] She was so excited to get a job.

[454] I remember this is a time where it was almost a scene, an illegal to hire a Mexican in a living role.

[455] I mean, it was impossible, impossible.

[456] And the way I got it was kind of a miracle because Robert Rodriguez had done the Mariachi with $7 ,000.

[457] And he couldn't sleep one night, and he's watching TV flipping through the channels.

[458] And there is a rerun of an interview that a comedian did of me called Paul Rodriguez.

[459] And it was a rerun at, like, one in the morning or something, where he's interviewing and he's making fun of me because I was a big soap star in Mexico.

[460] In Teresa?

[461] I was very famous in Teresa.

[462] And that 60 % of the entire country was watching this soap.

[463] and then I left.

[464] And you had been in a really acclaimed movie, too, in Mexico that had won new nominations and stuff.

[465] Not yet?

[466] Not quite, not yet.

[467] Okay, sorry, sorry, sorry.

[468] But thank you for memorizing my body.

[469] Of course.

[470] I'm impressed.

[471] Yeah.

[472] But I left, went to the States, tried to learn English, I'm still trying, and went to school with Stella Adler.

[473] That's how old I am.

[474] Yeah.

[475] But my God, she was in her 90s.

[476] Let's accept that.

[477] And start it again as an extra.

[478] Wow.

[479] That is very humbling and takes such bravery.

[480] I think I would have maybe just stayed in Mexico as a star.

[481] Of course.

[482] It made absolute no sense.

[483] And I was the last stock of my country because I was playing extra roles, the prostitute or maid or I played my maid, the wife of a drug dealer, too little scenes.

[484] So everybody.

[485] he was laughing at me, the press, the people, you know.

[486] Yeah.

[487] I guess who's laughing now.

[488] Exactly.

[489] He says, why would you do that?

[490] Are you crazy?

[491] Somebody said that I was the lover of the present and had a fight and had to flee the country and I couldn't get a job.

[492] I mean, all kinds of stories.

[493] Ooh, those are, that's wow.

[494] All kinds of juicy stories.

[495] Yeah.

[496] I explained to him, I don't want to do telenovelas.

[497] There is no film industry in Mexico.

[498] I want to do films.

[499] I've come here to do that.

[500] He said, but they're not going to hide it.

[501] you, you know that.

[502] And I said, no, I don't.

[503] Right.

[504] And he said, but it just doesn't happen.

[505] They don't write their roles.

[506] There is no place.

[507] It just doesn't happen.

[508] And I said, well, then I'll have to make it happen.

[509] Yeah.

[510] And by God you did.

[511] And one of the things that I used to say and gave me strength, it was just simple mathematics.

[512] If we're 40 million here, somebody of the thousands of producers and executives.

[513] We're talking about 30 years ago.

[514] I was saying eventually somebody has to be smart.

[515] There is a whole huge audience that, by the way, I had.

[516] But unfortunately, they were not that smart for a long time.

[517] Well, in the business has evolved.

[518] So now the total receipts of any movie is going to be far more global than it is domestic.

[519] But back then, when you were trying this, it was pretty lopsided.

[520] It was still like 70 plus percent domestic and only 20 percent.

[521] There were 40 million domestic Latinos in the United States that had watched my soap.

[522] Oh, okay, okay.

[523] I'm out to lunch.

[524] No, they were in the United States.

[525] They were 40 million Latinos.

[526] Oh, my God, I'm still one of those dumb executives.

[527] And they still didn't think that maybe there was an industry there that there was no money to make.

[528] I knew they were racist, but I'll tell you something about racism.

[529] It gets erased with one color, green, dollars.

[530] Well, yes, yes.

[531] especially in the industry and anyway, Robert Rodriguez saw the interview and he found me. That movie when you're making it, I mean, are you getting a sense that it is what it is?

[532] It's just so I mean, Monica, you haven't seen it, I assume.

[533] I have not seen it.

[534] They have a lovemaking scene and it's also when all the bad guys show up to kill them and they are making love in killing people and I'm like this is unbelievable.

[535] Well, that It was another thing, oh, God, I'm going to be in trouble.

[536] The love scene was not in the script.

[537] It wasn't.

[538] No, it was demanded by the studio when they saw the chemistry.

[539] Oh, wow.

[540] And I had a really, really hard time with that.

[541] Oh, wow.

[542] Welcome to my world.

[543] And also, after he discovered me, I had to audition maybe six times and screen tests.

[544] And Robert wanted me, and at the time, one of the...

[545] the people that they wanted, who I thought, oh my God, forget it.

[546] It's gone.

[547] My one opportunity because she is so beautiful and so charming and such a great actress is Cameron Diaz.

[548] Because Diaz, she doesn't speak Spanish, but there was a Diaz in the name.

[549] Sure.

[550] That was Mexican enough, even if it's not Mexican in there.

[551] Maybe I could have been in it.

[552] My name is Dax Hector Shepard.

[553] You have the Hector.

[554] You could have been the part of Danny Trejo.

[555] You could have been Danny Trejo in this manner.

[556] Except you were probably six at the time.

[557] Oh, my God.

[558] Oh, my God.

[559] Stay tuned for more armchair expert, if you dare.

[560] What's up, guys?

[561] It's your girl Kiki, and my podcast is back with a new season.

[562] And let me tell you, it's too good.

[563] And I'm diving into the brains of entertainment's best and brightest, okay?

[564] episode, I bring on a friend and have a real conversation.

[565] And I don't mean just friends.

[566] I mean the likes of Amy Poehler, Kel Mitchell, Vivica Fox, the list goes on.

[567] So follow, watch, and listen to Baby.

[568] This is Kiki Palmer on the Wondery app or wherever you get your podcast.

[569] We've all been there.

[570] Turning to the internet to self -diagnose our inexplicable pains, debilitating body aches, sudden fevers, and strange rashes.

[571] Though our minds tend to spiral to worst -case scenarios, it's usually nothing, but for an unlucky few, these unsuspecting symptoms can start the clock ticking on a terrifying medical mystery.

[572] Like the unexplainable death of a retired firefighter, whose body was found at home by his son, except it looked like he had been cremated, or the time when an entire town started jumping from buildings and seeing tigers on their ceilings.

[573] Hey listeners, it's Mr. Ballin here, and I'm here to tell you about my podcast.

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[575] Each terrifying true story will be sure to keep you up at night.

[576] Follow Mr. Ballin's Medical Mysteries wherever you get your podcasts.

[577] Prime members can listen early and ad free on Amazon Music.

[578] So interesting, right?

[579] So, of course, now that you say that, like you've signed up, you've agreed to do a certain thing, you've filmed it, and now they say, no, no, you've got to do a love scene.

[580] It wasn't in the script, but they said it right at the beginning of the dailies.

[581] Okay.

[582] Like when I did it that I said this, oh my God, I'm doing this amazing movie, this is it.

[583] Hell yes.

[584] I said, I made it.

[585] They paid me very little money, but I spent it right away because now I'm a Hollywood star, you know?

[586] It went really fast in Banana Republic.

[587] It was like one shopping trip and I had no money for the rent.

[588] But it was okay because, I mean, now the phone's not.

[589] not going to start ringing.

[590] And I learned really fast that it does not work like that in Hollywood.

[591] Save your pennies because you don't know when it's going to, the next one's going to come.

[592] Yeah.

[593] It's always a rainy day in this business.

[594] Yeah, even though it didn't rain.

[595] So do you, when you see that scene, though, can you enjoy it?

[596] Like, it's so, remember, you cannot.

[597] Okay.

[598] Now I feel bad that I love that scene.

[599] You know why I like it.

[600] It's not that I liked it because it was a lovemaking scene.

[601] But because that you guys are killing people during it is hysterical.

[602] Okay, I will tell you a little bit of background on the scene.

[603] The wife of Robert Rodriguez at the time became my best friend.

[604] Yes, and she was so instrumental, right?

[605] She was the production designer.

[606] She was the producer.

[607] Robert Rodriguez, thank God, can also do everything on a film set.

[608] Yeah.

[609] He can do the sound.

[610] He can do the operate the camera.

[611] And he was like, my bro.

[612] So they closed the set, and it was Robert, Elizabeth, Antonio, and I. That's nice.

[613] That's nice.

[614] Except that I had never done anything like that.

[615] So when we were going to start shooting, I started to sob.

[616] I said, I don't know that I can do it.

[617] I don't know that I can do it.

[618] I said, I'm afraid.

[619] One of the things I was afraid was Antonio because he was an absolute gentleman and super right said we're still very close friends.

[620] But he was very free.

[621] Right, right, right, right.

[622] So it scared me that for him, it was like, not.

[623] thing.

[624] And that scared me because I've never been in front of someone like that.

[625] Yeah.

[626] In that situation where it's like, okay, what are we doing?

[627] And I started crying and he's like, oh my God, you're making me feel terrible.

[628] So now Antonio, even Antonio, who's the most free person, you know, very proud.

[629] And I was so embarrassed that I was crying and they were great, but I was not letting go of the towel.

[630] And they would try to make me laugh and things and take it off for two seconds and then I started crying again, but we got through it.

[631] This is horrible.

[632] I know.

[633] I don't like it.

[634] They were amazing, though.

[635] They were amazing.

[636] We did the best with what we could do at the time, you know.

[637] They were so magnificent this group of three people.

[638] He was amazing, Robert.

[639] And the few moments that I was able to take the thing, he was getting in the character, and he was walking me through it, and talking about the story of Carolina, and what it took for Carolina, what it means to Carolina.

[640] But I couldn't stay on it That's why it's little clips It was never And he was okay with that He decided that moment Because he's an editor also That he was going to do it Like that never put pressure on me Because I was thinking I would get into Carolina And then you can do it It's when you're not you You can do it But I kept thinking of my father And my brother And my brother And are they going to see it And are they going to get teased You don't guys don't have that You don't have the father.

[641] Your father will be like, yeah, that's my son.

[642] You know, you don't have that.

[643] I know.

[644] So there's like the other layer.

[645] There's so many layers.

[646] So even the thought that women have to protect the ego of their fathers and their brothers.

[647] And you're super close to your father, right?

[648] As I understand it.

[649] Yes.

[650] And he was great.

[651] And I just said, you can never see it.

[652] Yeah.

[653] You have to watch the film.

[654] And then I'll tell you.

[655] you went, we walk out of the theater, I escorted my brother and my father, and when it was over, we went back and sat there.

[656] And they were very nice to me. They were nice.

[657] But it's not like my father is a tyrant, is that you want him to be nothing but proud of you, you know, you don't want to.

[658] But this is a pressure that is on women that is so fucking unfair.

[659] Can you imagine your own daughter having to worry about how you're going to be impacted or what issues you might have in something she wants to do, express yourself.

[660] But you know what?

[661] I hope she does take that into consideration.

[662] Okay.

[663] Because it's a nice quality.

[664] It is a nice quality.

[665] And then you can talk about it and overcome it together.

[666] Yeah.

[667] Yeah.

[668] That's true.

[669] You know, I guess because I have daughters and I love them and I want them to just blossom into whoever they are.

[670] Me too.

[671] And the thought of me being a roadblock to that is not what I want.

[672] I don't want that at all.

[673] I want to be a highway to, you know.

[674] By the way, my parents.

[675] were not a roadblock ever, but I just think it is important, especially today, because before your parents were your source of information, there is a level of respect.

[676] Now, it's the phone.

[677] Yeah.

[678] I can't compete with the technology.

[679] It knows more than me. Oh, yeah.

[680] Therefore, they know more than you.

[681] Oh, a lot more.

[682] And there is a detachment of this sense of what my parents say or what my parents think.

[683] Yeah.

[684] It is important that The respect stays, and we're competing with a lot now, that your opinion is heard, that your perspective on things is not having to compete with bloggers or look at how much this information we have right now in the internet.

[685] But you're right, we've lost that role, where we're going to educate them on everything and answer every question for them.

[686] They now can get it answered and correctly.

[687] So, yeah, all I got to hope that they believe is that I. I do have some experience in navigating the emotional life on planet Earth and that I've learned some things about that.

[688] That's what I hope.

[689] Yes, and it cannot get it better than anyone else.

[690] And even if they disagree, you're not just the respect of hearing it out.

[691] And we need to teach our children to stay thoughtful.

[692] Because if they are not thoughtful of their own parents, they're not going to be thoughtful of anyone else.

[693] Not for real.

[694] That's very true.

[695] That's very true.

[696] I want to talk about Bliss, but I just want to ask you one more question.

[697] You are very strong.

[698] You're very powerful.

[699] You are not afraid to be outspoken.

[700] When you became a producer and you made Frida, you hired a female director, like, you are a feminist in all the ways that I would hope my daughters are.

[701] And also you're sexy and you're on magazines.

[702] And I just wonder if it was hard to navigate owning your sex appeal while also being a very vocal, outspoken proponent of women being empowered.

[703] And let me ask, and are you confused or wondering if there is a contradiction?

[704] I don't think there is.

[705] I don't see those as in opposition.

[706] And in fact, I think a powerful woman should be whatever she is.

[707] That could be sexy.

[708] That could be not sexy.

[709] It doesn't matter to me. But I just wonder.

[710] Society has the foxes.

[711] At the beginning of my career, I had to embrace it as a school in a protective way because there's one thing that at that time, at least, and still a little bit today, they did not like smart girls.

[712] Yeah, yeah.

[713] This was something really, really threatening.

[714] They were very confused by me because I had the opportunity to have a very good education and travel the world.

[715] Well, you're very smart.

[716] You're just smart.

[717] You are.

[718] And also have a level of sophistication.

[719] that they didn't associate with my race.

[720] And like at the beginning, I remember that my first big meeting I was wearing Chanel, and they're like, is that a fact Chanel?

[721] And I said, no, it's real.

[722] And immediately it's like they probably, they would have thought, oh, she's dating some rich guy.

[723] Right.

[724] You know, they couldn't think that maybe that actually I could afford it with what I was making as a superstar in Mexico.

[725] Yeah.

[726] And so, you know, I didn't sound like what they were expected even if I had the accent, and they said, go back to Mexico.

[727] I mean, you're a star there.

[728] We don't have anything for you here.

[729] And then I understood that my choices were to be either a servant or the drug dealer girlfriend, but the one thing they could accept is if you were not very smart, but you were sexy, their neurons would start disconnecting and creating new connections, this concept.

[730] It's very interesting.

[731] It was something that they could relax into that.

[732] So I understood it.

[733] And I said, okay, you know, slide into it.

[734] And so then what happened is that later on, like I can be myself now, but at the beginning you're disappointed that that's all they can see, you know, in your 20s, in your 30s, in your 40s, in your 40s.

[735] It's, kind of cool.

[736] Your 50s is fantastic.

[737] Yes, I'm sexy.

[738] Yes.

[739] Yes.

[740] Why not?

[741] You know?

[742] In your 50s, at the beginning, it's like, well, can't I see beyond that?

[743] In the 20s, it's like, yes, they still notice it, you know?

[744] You're so honest, that's so true.

[745] We interviewed Amy Polar yesterday or the day before, and we're really old friends.

[746] And I said, Babers, can I tell you?

[747] You look so beautiful.

[748] She goes, I don't care of you.

[749] I'm funny anymore.

[750] Just tell, yes, I'm into it now.

[751] And I'm like, me too.

[752] I just want to be hot.

[753] Just say I'm hot.

[754] I'm getting old.

[755] That's also because there is a stereotype that older women are haggard or they lose their sex appeal or they're not beautiful.

[756] So it's still combating a stereotype, which is why it feels so good.

[757] You know, Monica, already nature gives us one expiration date, which is motherhood.

[758] Yeah.

[759] But then society has put all these other ones on top of it.

[760] And we're revealing against that.

[761] We're like, no. Says who?

[762] Yeah.

[763] I don't think anyone's going to argue with you currently, though.

[764] No. No. I think you're hotter now than you were in Desperado.

[765] Or at least I got better at creating the illusion.

[766] No, no. It's a sinister eyes and the evil smile.

[767] There's a lot happening.

[768] Okay, Bliss.

[769] I watched half of it last night and then I fell asleep because I had to wake up so early to interview you.

[770] So I only saw half.

[771] So forgive me. But it's you and Owen Wilson.

[772] It's an Amazon movie.

[773] And it comes out on February 5th.

[774] That's right.

[775] February 5th on Prime.

[776] So everyone can stream it, which is so wonderful that you're in a movie that we can just watch in our houses.

[777] It is about something that Monica and I are obsessed with.

[778] We talk about endlessly, which is a simulation.

[779] And I just want to hear your thoughts on it because we have a trillion.

[780] Oh my God.

[781] I want to hear your thoughts.

[782] Okay.

[783] My first thought is, I think if you you notice who believes in a simulation or who is inclined to consider it's real, is generally people like Elon Musk or myself, people who have gotten way too lucky.

[784] Won the lottery.

[785] Yeah, won the lottery, where it's like, it feels suspicious.

[786] This can't, you know, and I always say, I doubt there's someone shoveling coal that is like, I think this is a simulation.

[787] Like, if you're miserable, you're not thinking this is too good to be true.

[788] No, but you could think this is too bad to be true.

[789] There must be something else to life.

[790] Well, I think that's where the simulation of religion and God comes in and has historically always been kind of that version of a simulation, where it's like, this can't, no way, there must be another thing.

[791] I think there must be another thing.

[792] I just don't know if it's a simulation.

[793] Mm -hmm.

[794] But before this, I'm more fascinated with string theory than simulation.

[795] Okay, great.

[796] So break string theory down for us.

[797] with the possibilities of realities happening simultaneously in other dimensions that vibrate at a different frequency.

[798] And when you go into the subatomic particles into the quantum realm, these subatomic particles don't follow the loss of physics.

[799] So you cannot do like an experiment and it's always going to be the same result with them.

[800] And sometimes they disappear and go somewhere.

[801] somewhere else, but they reappear.

[802] Where do they go?

[803] Right.

[804] And tell me if I'm wrong, but my understanding of string theory is there are these particles that are married together, basically.

[805] So if the polarity of one of them changes, the other one will change, and they can exist still paired, hence the string, on opposite sides of the universe.

[806] And if you do the math, and we believe in Estonian and Newtonian physics that there's nothing faster than the speed of light, the polarity of these two things switch at the exact same time, and it would be impossible for that information to have traveled at the speed of light to tell it to switch.

[807] So we know something's happening between these two things that is faster than the speed of light, and it kind of breaks down everything we think.

[808] Exactly.

[809] But it doesn't because once they become atoms and then they become molecules, then we enter the Newtonian realm where it's mass that you can touch and that you can see and we're living with those laws.

[810] But before those laws, they're somewhere else.

[811] What's really interesting is that they know now that depending on the observer, that it's observing the molecules, they start creating certain patterns when they do the experiment.

[812] So if someone else is observing them, Even if it's the exact same experiment, it's completely different patterns, which means somehow you affect the subatomic molecules that create the atoms, that create the molecules, that create the mass, that creates everything that you perceive as real in your reality.

[813] So maybe we create our own simulations.

[814] Yes.

[815] I cannot believe we're having this conversation.

[816] I just turned it off.

[817] You still want to talk about this?

[818] Of course.

[819] We're going to win a Nobel.

[820] You're not going to get nominated, but we're going to win a Nobel.

[821] No, it's fun.

[822] It's fun.

[823] The possibilities, you know, it's cool.

[824] Well, I agree with you, because you can look at it in so many ways and in so many levels.

[825] So I have become overly aware of that whatever story I'm telling myself magically comes true.

[826] And generally, for the worst, right?

[827] So if I tell people, I always tell people, I'm an insane.

[828] Somniac.

[829] I can't sleep.

[830] I'm a terrible sleeper.

[831] Well, guess what?

[832] I was.

[833] I was a terrible sleeper.

[834] Last year, my New Year's resolution was to stop telling.

[835] I couldn't tell anybody that.

[836] And guess what?

[837] I can sleep way, way better.

[838] I mean, like a light switch better.

[839] Like, I'm not confirming my story anymore, because that's not my story.

[840] And so on that little level, I think my reality is very flexible.

[841] It's very open to change.

[842] Because you are open to change.

[843] To your point, I'm observing my reality.

[844] So I get, I kind of get to observe.

[845] You're creating your reality.

[846] But the thing is that a lot of people say, and they're right, it doesn't work, because I always think of one thing and I don't manifest it.

[847] And, you know, I keep repeating the same.

[848] And how come it doesn't manifest to me?

[849] But the one thing that we have to take into consideration is that, Our brain, which is electrical, you know, in a way, has a lot to do with this, and we're not using all of our brain.

[850] There's also the subconscious part of your brain.

[851] So let's say the people that say, money, money, I'm going to focus on money because I'm going to manifest money.

[852] If you grew up poor and you experienced that, your brain, when you think of money, has created a neural connection.

[853] with lack.

[854] Uh -huh.

[855] And fear.

[856] And fear.

[857] And what I don't have and what my parents have to struggle with.

[858] So every time you think money, your neurons go to do -to -to -to -to -to -go -to -to -go -to -go -to -do.

[859] And so how do you bypass your own programming that life has taught you?

[860] You have to be completely open or know how to trick your own subconscious and your brain.

[861] well can i tell you my own experience was just i grew up broke and we coveted money and my mom worked her fucking ass off to support three kids single mother and i have this great fear of financial insecurity so i in my mind said if i have x amount of money i'm going to finally feel safe and then i got that x amount of money and i didn't feel safe but i said oh it's because i miscalculated i might live till 80 i need and then i got another number and then i got to that number.

[862] And my wife said, do you notice you don't feel any safer?

[863] You've gotten to these two numbers.

[864] I realized there isn't a number because it's a fear.

[865] You're operating with that program.

[866] Yes.

[867] So you have, but it's interesting because you're able to manifest it with like another program that you have that has to do with something else.

[868] Like, I'm a survivor.

[869] I can get what I want.

[870] So that part gets it.

[871] The other part makes it not enough.

[872] It'll never be enough.

[873] It's really Interesting.

[874] Or unless you change that, too.

[875] Yes.

[876] Disconnect that neuron.

[877] By the way, you might realize that you will be happy with half of your first target.

[878] A thousand percent.

[879] I just admitted to myself, oh, it's not an objective number.

[880] It is an emotion I have about this object money.

[881] And until I unplug that emotion, I can't get enough money to feel safe.

[882] I have to tell myself I'm safe.

[883] And that's how it'll happen.

[884] Have you realized that we don't let Monica talk?

[885] No, no. We're in my dad's simulation anyway.

[886] So I'd have to kind of sit back.

[887] This is what we discovered.

[888] Yeah.

[889] So what we talk about nonstop on the podcast is Monica's father moved to the States from India and married Monica's mother who came as a baby to the States.

[890] And so we have figured out that he bought this simulation because it's just such a good story.

[891] So he came to India.

[892] He does well.

[893] He makes a claim for himself.

[894] He's an engineer.

[895] They grow.

[896] very comfortable and his daughter goes and becomes famous it makes a bunch of money and it's too good it's such a he bought the simulation we finally figured it out and I'm just a character in it and so are you and now you are yeah thank him for me yeah I'd say tell him I love my part I will I will I was thinking about this the other day okay because you know the coal miner issue those are people in my simulation so really they wouldn't be real So those people in their own simulation are not doing that.

[897] Correct.

[898] So in that way.

[899] But there's two different conversations.

[900] Yeah, they're playing parts.

[901] One thing I'm saying is, let's say there's no simulation.

[902] I said, we're all just on planet Earth.

[903] Right.

[904] What I'm saying is people that are really lucky are thinking this might be a simulation and people who are uncomfortable in their labor aren't thinking that.

[905] Well, yeah, if we're not in one.

[906] If we're not in one.

[907] If there is simulations, yes, everyone is you.

[908] They can also think that.

[909] But I don't think the position that you have can offer you happiness, like through profound happiness, more than the position than the cold worker has.

[910] Because maybe you are happy.

[911] And of course, your life might be easier.

[912] But some people can have an easy life and have no joy in any of the things they have.

[913] And that means they have nothing.

[914] I agree with you.

[915] I am not in any way making a claim that someone who is super.

[916] I'm not preaching.

[917] I'm not being a preacher.

[918] My position, just to be clear, isn't that there's someone who's very happy who has purpose, who feels fulfilled, that has all those things.

[919] I'm not saying that.

[920] I'm saying if you are in great discomfort as many people are.

[921] But yes, billionaires commit suicide.

[922] Obviously, it doesn't equal that thing.

[923] It's also a self -fulfilling prophecy.

[924] Like, once we made the joke on here that we're living in my dad's simulation, but we talk about it so often that sometimes I really get in my head about it.

[925] Like, are we?

[926] Are we?

[927] Because the good things keep coming and then the simulation is reinforced, right?

[928] Like I'm like, oh wait, that's happening?

[929] We're definitely in a simulation.

[930] Oh, wait.

[931] Now, this is happening.

[932] But really, I think it's just manifesting like, good things are coming and then you're allowing them.

[933] But, Monica, in your case, you don't want to take control of your own power because you are willing to accept the simulation.

[934] but not that you did it.

[935] Your father got you here, got you to this place of opportunity.

[936] So that's where your neural net is coming in and deciding what is your reality.

[937] Yeah.

[938] It's super interesting.

[939] But what's interesting with Bliss is I understand it, the simulation is actually rough, weirdly.

[940] And that reality is quite beautiful and abundant.

[941] Oh, let me tell you.

[942] Oh, good, because I have to tell you what happens.

[943] Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[944] Because you think it's about where my character as a scientist explains it.

[945] So what happens is that she, they're living in this bliss world where everything is perfect and beautiful, but people have lost appreciation.

[946] Right.

[947] They don't appreciate anything.

[948] So she creates this brain box that can send you to a simulation that it's an ugly world with a lot of problems and a lot of conflict so that you can then come back and appreciate and enjoy the bliss world.

[949] Yeah.

[950] Wow, what a metaphor for the time we're living in.

[951] Absolutely, in so many ways.

[952] We think that we're living in an ugly world.

[953] We complain about it non -stop.

[954] Yeah, yeah.

[955] We go to lockdown.

[956] Uh -huh.

[957] And all of the sudden, those little things like watching people on the street and knowing if they're smiling, if they're sad, wondering what's their story.

[958] You can't.

[959] Yeah.

[960] Can't see their faces.

[961] Going to a restaurant with friends like you and I did, you know?

[962] Just going to the cinema.

[963] Corona might kill the cinema.

[964] Entering that dark space with a bunch of strangers waiting for a window to open up and take you somewhere else where you can have a collective experience.

[965] But at the same time, everyone is in their own world in this one room.

[966] It might kill it.

[967] We have to fight for cinema, you know?

[968] because we're too comfortable in our houses, yes, but having the date going to the cinema for the first time with a girl.

[969] Yeah.

[970] Feeling the leg next to yours, you know?

[971] Would you mind if I time traveled back to Louisiana and met up with you at the mall?

[972] Are you opposed to this?

[973] I have a lot of time traveling ideas, but I'm going to add this to the list.

[974] Okay.

[975] Can I tell you what I'm doing with the time machine first thing?

[976] Mm -hmm.

[977] I'm going back to Wu Monica's grandma.

[978] Who is the most beautiful woman I've ever seen in my entire life?

[979] She's staggeringly.

[980] There's a picture of her on her wedding day.

[981] It must have been in 1960 -ish?

[982] Before that.

[983] I don't know.

[984] Woo!

[985] So I'm going back in time to woo her grandma.

[986] That's step one.

[987] But then you said you're going to go get Brad Pitt.

[988] I've decided it would actually be a shame if I wooed her because I'd actually want to see the most beautiful man and her together more than me with her.

[989] So I'm actually going to kidnap him from Legends of the Fall, take him back to wedding day, see what happens.

[990] Good.

[991] I like this machine.

[992] Let me ask you this.

[993] What do you think Monica would look like?

[994] That's what I said.

[995] I'm not going to exist anymore.

[996] It won't be me. You'd be identical, but you'd be 5 -11.

[997] I wouldn't mind that.

[998] With blue eyes.

[999] Yeah, exactly.

[1000] And a chiseled jaw.

[1001] And even more stubborn.

[1002] Oh, wow.

[1003] I don't think that.

[1004] I don't think that's possible.

[1005] We'll see.

[1006] Oh, my God.

[1007] Stay tuned for more armchair expert, if you dare.

[1008] I just want to say one more thing about bliss.

[1009] So Owen's character, he's just at the pit, right?

[1010] He's just got divorced.

[1011] He's on pills.

[1012] He gets fired.

[1013] It's just a mess.

[1014] There is a wonderful metaphor in there, which is like, if you can have the presence of mind to actually appreciate the struggle, appreciate the inconvenience, because it is the thing that allows us to experience the bliss.

[1015] I think is very true.

[1016] hard for us to do.

[1017] It's really hard when you're in it.

[1018] It's really hard when you're in it.

[1019] It's not in our nature.

[1020] There's another aspect of the movie that the director wants to make this movie that either you saw it as you saw it, sci -fi, or completely in a different direction.

[1021] They're drug addicts.

[1022] So something fascinating that he said to me that I said, am I going to have to do this movie?

[1023] Before even I read the script, I was like, I mean, he said, you play a drug.

[1024] Uh -huh.

[1025] You play a drug addict that is at the same time a drug.

[1026] You're the motor that is telling him where to go, what to do.

[1027] And you can see it as to people that have created a parallel reality through substances to escape.

[1028] Uh -huh.

[1029] Oh, I can relate to that.

[1030] You can go both ways.

[1031] Bliss is awesome.

[1032] I'm really looking forward to finishing tonight.

[1033] And of course, I love Owen Wilson.

[1034] He's, I feel like my spirit.

[1035] Oh, he's the best.

[1036] Oh, what a smart motherfucker, huh?

[1037] Isn't he just so interesting?

[1038] He is so weird.

[1039] I cannot love him more.

[1040] Yes.

[1041] The stuff, I mean, he is such a roller coaster, exciting and joyful roller coaster just to follow his thought process.

[1042] Can I tell you, I've never memorized an interview in my life, but I have memorized his Playboy interview from 15 years ago.

[1043] Oh, please tell me about I didn't even know he did.

[1044] There's so many juicy things.

[1045] in there, but one of them I want to tell you is the interviewer said, do you have any tricks for getting out of speeding tickets?

[1046] And he said, well, you know, if I get pulled over, the thing I'm probably trying to do is, what you want is you want the moment where you look at the cop and the cop looks at you and you both kind of shake your head and say, look at both of us out here on the side of this road and this crazy game called life.

[1047] And I'm like, what?

[1048] Only he would think that.

[1049] Like, you're getting to the point where you guys both acknowledge.

[1050] Look at this silly game we're playing called life.

[1051] Listen, there is one really dramatic scene in the movie at some point.

[1052] And I'm talking to my, by the way, we have a strange dynamic that in a normal reality would be that we would hate each other.

[1053] Okay.

[1054] And instead, we just thought it was hilarious.

[1055] which is he's bossy and I'm bossy.

[1056] Uh -huh, uh -huh.

[1057] And he was trying me all the time to tell me what to do, which gave me the permission, okay?

[1058] So we spent the whole time telling each other what to do in very different styles.

[1059] Me, I'm direct.

[1060] And he thinks, I don't notice that he's bossing me around.

[1061] Like, the other people don't notice what he's doing.

[1062] Right.

[1063] I'm like, dude, let me tell you something.

[1064] I see right through you.

[1065] But it was so, it was hilarious.

[1066] So in one scene, he comes so.

[1067] with this idea and he gets super excited oh my God I had the best idea the best idea I know how you should play this and I go how and it's like a scene where I'm confronted with the police and all this you should dance it oh wow wow real big swing I go what you should come out and have you considered dancing through this thing and I go why because how fabulous would that be?

[1068] Oh, wow.

[1069] And I go, no, no, you're crazy.

[1070] And he starts like, you think she's stombered?

[1071] Talking at you, talking at you.

[1072] And there's a moment where I say, maybe it's kind of fantastic if I do that.

[1073] Okay, then at least do some karate movements like you show me with this.

[1074] We were, you know, messing around and I showed him that I can do stunts.

[1075] She's come out like crazy doing karate movements.

[1076] I said, but it's crazy.

[1077] But this movie's crazy, and your character is crazy.

[1078] And you have to be careful with him because...

[1079] He can't talk you.

[1080] And it's madness.

[1081] It can talk you.

[1082] And I said, got away from me. Get away from me until I finish the scene.

[1083] I don't want to hear your nonsense.

[1084] One more time.

[1085] He sucked you into his reality.

[1086] For a moment.

[1087] For a moment.

[1088] Now I came out because...

[1089] Well, you're strong.

[1090] You're strong.

[1091] The last thing I just want to say is it made me think when we were talking about that we, as the observer, have an impact on the data, on the molecules.

[1092] I just want to point out that when, yeah, when you arrived, they did not put Mexican actresses in the elites.

[1093] That was the reality.

[1094] That was the Newtonian reality.

[1095] And then your observation of it and your participation in it changed.

[1096] Went into the quantum world and pulled the rabbit out of the hat.

[1097] Yeah.

[1098] You have a real life example.

[1099] All right.

[1100] I adore you.

[1101] I think someone's tweeting us that it's time.

[1102] Probably telling us it's time.

[1103] We had you too long.

[1104] We did.

[1105] But it felt good, right?

[1106] It felt pretty good.

[1107] Oh, my God, this was, I'll tell you, the most interesting interview I've ever done in my life.

[1108] Yay, wow, what a win.

[1109] Oh, so the other thing I saw that you have coming up this year.

[1110] Well, two things, you are going to be in Eternals, which I'm so excited about because we love Kumal.

[1111] I don't know if you worked with him or not, but we did like him.

[1112] Oh, I love him.

[1113] Oh, we love him.

[1114] I love him even before this movie.

[1115] Oh, one more thing.

[1116] We're both dyslexic I learned reading about you and I just got excited about it.

[1117] that because I think it's a superpower once you overcome it.

[1118] We have to do a whole other hour.

[1119] I know.

[1120] Some of the time we're not done, you and I. But you know why I can do this job is because we retain things in a different way.

[1121] You learn to retain things and so I can like learn about you and then I'm good.

[1122] I can do that, you know.

[1123] And that's only because of the dyslexia.

[1124] Anyways, okay, the hitman's wife's bodyguard.

[1125] First of all, great title.

[1126] But it's a sequel to the hitman's bodyguard.

[1127] For example, the dyslexic, I have a dyslexic friend that thought I was doing a movie called The Wives That Hits the Man's Bodyguard.

[1128] The Hit Man's Wife's Bodyguard is rare you see two possessive apostrophes in one title, and it's exciting.

[1129] It might be the first time.

[1130] Ryan Reynolds, we love him too, right?

[1131] Sam Jackson, best swearer of all time.

[1132] And so my character is his wife, so she does it too.

[1133] I love them.

[1134] I love them to death.

[1135] They are geniuses.

[1136] Both those boys.

[1137] Machines, both of them.

[1138] And you know what?

[1139] How exciting that I did the first one and I had four scenes.

[1140] And now I kick ass with the boys at the same level, same screen time.

[1141] I'm a proper action star at 54.

[1142] Mexican art at 54.

[1143] Hooray for middle -aged women.

[1144] Yeah.

[1145] Do you credit yoga?

[1146] Yeah, a little bit of yoga.

[1147] I credit meditation.

[1148] TM?

[1149] I do something that I kind of invented myself.

[1150] Okay, okay, SM.

[1151] Which I'd love to talk to you not on camera about some other time because it really affects your body.

[1152] You can get superpowers from this meditation.

[1153] I believe that.

[1154] I believe that.

[1155] We did TM religiously, and then we had kids and we've fallen off, but I'll do it occasionally.

[1156] I don't even know what's TM.

[1157] What's the M?

[1158] Transcendental meditation.

[1159] Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes.

[1160] And I find that to be insanely effective on a cellular level.

[1161] Like, I feel like when I do that, every cell in my body calms down and cortisol drops and...

[1162] Can we hang out some other time?

[1163] Yeah, we will.

[1164] We will.

[1165] Would you come to London now instead of Paris?

[1166] I'll come wherever you're at.

[1167] If we can have a meal again and go and do some dancing, I can stare at your husband's beautiful eyes.

[1168] Can you bring the wife and the kids?

[1169] Yes, I would love to.

[1170] I would love to.

[1171] Okay.

[1172] Monica, you come too, but don't bring your father.

[1173] He's too intimidating for me I want to see you two are so fucking powerful and tiny I want to see you guys just clash like little badgers Oh it'll be so fun Yes, let's do it, maybe For one room All right, well, we adore you Oh, when does Hitman's wife's bodyguard come out?

[1174] It comes out in the summer I get ready because it's fantastic I cannot wait Lots of action And of course, Eternal N's, which is directed by this brilliant genius this woman going, oh my God, she just got nominated for best director.

[1175] Yeah, she did a movie with Francis McDormand.

[1176] Oh, yeah.

[1177] Oh, Nomadland?

[1178] Yes.

[1179] That's supposed to be so good.

[1180] And she directed The Eternals.

[1181] And my God, what a privilege to work with that mind.

[1182] Well, you have three awesome things coming up this year.

[1183] So congratulations.

[1184] Thank you so much.

[1185] I adore you.

[1186] You're so fun.

[1187] No, no, we'll talk to us.

[1188] No way.

[1189] No, no. This wine is just getting more and more valuable by the hour.

[1190] All right, be good.

[1191] Enjoy your simulation, guys.

[1192] Yeah, you too, you too.

[1193] And now my favorite part of the show, the fact check with my soulmate Monica Padman.

[1194] You can come over.

[1195] I know you're shy.

[1196] You can be shy with me. That's your new favorite song.

[1197] I cannot stop listening to it.

[1198] Leon Bridges.

[1199] I love Leon Bridges.

[1200] I love him.

[1201] Why won't he come on our show?

[1202] Have we asked?

[1203] I don't know if we've asked.

[1204] We're asking now.

[1205] Will you please come on our show?

[1206] My friends, Lizzie, and Joe, shout out.

[1207] Roll call.

[1208] They got married last year, two years ago, and their first dance was River.

[1209] The shoe foot.

[1210] Oh, River.

[1211] Come on the show and please don't sue us, Leon Bridges.

[1212] This is an honor of you, not stealing from you.

[1213] I think in these situations we should just have rap play it, you know?

[1214] You'll get the real good sound, not from my pony.

[1215] But this feels less steely?

[1216] Yeah.

[1217] More plausibly deniable.

[1218] Oh, I love that.

[1219] Okay, here's my song.

[1220] Oh, okay.

[1221] Oh, my gosh.

[1222] Oh, my gosh.

[1223] It's too sexy right out of the gates.

[1224] It is sexy.

[1225] Oh.

[1226] He's so sexy.

[1227] Oh.

[1228] He's a sexual creature.

[1229] Give it to me, Leon.

[1230] God, if you're not already making love with your partner or masturbating on the side of the road, you've missed a great opportunity.

[1231] Something weirds happened.

[1232] What?

[1233] Okay, so I was about to play another song.

[1234] Oh, okay.

[1235] This is a very musical back check.

[1236] Because, so Lizzie and Joe's wedding, River, it was so beautiful and it was such a great song.

[1237] They also, it was a Sunday, it was Labor Day.

[1238] Okay.

[1239] So the wedding was on Sunday, and right before she came down the aisle, they played Sunday Candy, which is a chance the rapper song, that is so good.

[1240] So, but.

[1241] But what?

[1242] What's the problem?

[1243] Now, when I just pulled it up on my library, it says Sunday candy, Donnie trumpet and the social experiment.

[1244] Is it a remake?

[1245] But how could it switch all of a sudden?

[1246] Maybe he'd removed his music.

[1247] I have no idea.

[1248] Yeah, this is a musical mystery.

[1249] Exactly.

[1250] The musical mystery tour.

[1251] I'm so confused.

[1252] Oh, my God.

[1253] Are you okay?

[1254] No. Here, I'm going to have to play it from YouTube.

[1255] I hope somebody can explain what's happened.

[1256] And this chance the rapper is a dumb.

[1257] She can say, tell her voice, hell away, does she love me?

[1258] This is a big song.

[1259] My nephews are just pieces of the hay.

[1260] As only one she love as much as me is Jesus Christ and Taylor.

[1261] I got her future, so I'm singing from my grandma.

[1262] You sing it too But your grandma I ain't my Make pan fried Sun -dry Southside Yeah I think The double by Wednesday On my bed club Santa Something told me I should bring my What's What's the name of it Sunday Sunday candy Isn't it good The word candy Yeah I think I'm gonna add that right now To my library Okay And tell me I'm gonna ask My friend Joe What's happening Yeah Hell no Can I tell you something Yeah Monday I'm going to Utah to drive cars at excessive speeds.

[1263] On your favorite job?

[1264] My favorite job with my friends.

[1265] And the faster I drive, the happier they'll be.

[1266] Oh, my God.

[1267] And I'm going to jump a truck.

[1268] There's already a jump designated for the jump.

[1269] I'm going to jump a TRX.

[1270] I'm going to try to break a world record.

[1271] Wow.

[1272] That's not really the premise of the episode, but I'll personally be trying to break a record.

[1273] This is such a ding, ding, ding.

[1274] Okay.

[1275] Because Top Gear is proof of the simulation.

[1276] Oh, big time.

[1277] Big time.

[1278] It's impossible.

[1279] Yeah.

[1280] It's not possible.

[1281] But anyways, I'm going back and I'm so excited for season two.

[1282] I'm so glad we're doing a season two.

[1283] I know.

[1284] I'm going to remind people because I want to do like seasons one through 100.

[1285] Sure.

[1286] So I really want people to sign up on the Motor Trend app, which they have a free trial right now.

[1287] I want people to sign up at Motor Trend, Motor Trend.

[1288] trend .com slash tGA 21 there are new episodes weekly you can start your free trial today of course it has rob cordy in the very sexy jethro bovington who monica's all a flitter for and we drive around in super cool supercars and pieces of crap that we try to climb mountains with and cross creeks with and uh it's so much fun we're all so opinionated and uh jethro and i challenge each other to kill each other, and it could not be more fun.

[1289] So I really hope people will check out Top Gear America on the Mototrend app, and you can sign up again at motortrend .com slash TGA21.

[1290] I'm going to do it.

[1291] Do it.

[1292] I'm doing it.

[1293] I did it.

[1294] Okay.

[1295] Okay, but, okay, going to transition seamlessly into the simulation.

[1296] Okay, okay.

[1297] I have stuff to say.

[1298] Oh, great.

[1299] Which is, things are getting eerie out there.

[1300] There's so.

[1301] So much proof of the simulation for me that, okay, I'm going to tell you a couple examples.

[1302] Okay.

[1303] That are really crazy.

[1304] So.

[1305] I've got a lot of gas right now.

[1306] I just want to warn you.

[1307] Okay.

[1308] That's fine.

[1309] And we know about yesterday's mishap.

[1310] So I'm very nervous right now.

[1311] Okay.

[1312] Do you want to tell people real quick?

[1313] No, I don't want to, but I will.

[1314] Okay.

[1315] Yesterday morning, go to get the girls on Zoom.

[1316] There's no internet at our house.

[1317] But there's internet at the new house, which we don't live in.

[1318] So immediately throw the girls in the car, grab the computers.

[1319] schlep him over to the new house get them set up there's a huge fight about who's going to go where right it's chaos sure i'm also trying to research this guest so i'm trying to read about this person on the internet while listening to their book on tape and it's it's just pandemonium and then all of a sudden we find out delta didn't bring paper and it's a crisis and i'm on the couch and she's screaming i need paper where's some paper and i'll get them i'll get some i'm getting up i'm a little too yeah it was tiny Yeah.

[1320] And I stood up and I was like, hmm.

[1321] Ah, yeah.

[1322] I went to the bathroom.

[1323] Yeah.

[1324] There was poo -boo.

[1325] Meandies was trashed.

[1326] Yeah.

[1327] So I had to take meyundies off and...

[1328] It was one of your favorite pairs.

[1329] It was my favorite pair.

[1330] It was a pair of meundies I call my cheat meundies because they're so lucky.

[1331] Like if I wear them to an audition.

[1332] I don't like when you're saying this.

[1333] It makes me really nervous that you've ruined the...

[1334] Good luck some things.

[1335] Well, per year.

[1336] Okay, so I take off Miandis and I'm walking through the kitchen to throw the miandis in an outdoor trash can right as my sister walks in.

[1337] And she sees me holding bald up Miandis and she goes, well, that can only mean one thing.

[1338] So I'm totally busted.

[1339] It's just a rough start to the morning.

[1340] Anyways, I come up to the attic and then I tell you about it.

[1341] And then you learn that I've thrown them in the garbage.

[1342] And you're rightly concerned because they're my lucky undie.

[1343] Yeah, you can't throw them out.

[1344] I think you need to clean them and keep them.

[1345] So I took a Ziploc bag.

[1346] And I went to the trash can and I recovered them.

[1347] Okay, good.

[1348] Oh, my God.

[1349] This is too gross of a story.

[1350] So I get them home and that's like, now what?

[1351] Because you cannot throw them in the washer machine.

[1352] So I took the Miandis.

[1353] Oh, my gosh.

[1354] And I tilted the Ziundi's.

[1355] bag so they fell in the toilet oh and then i grabbed the waistband i slashed them around a ton in there i kind of gave them like a whir's bath or something yeah yeah splashing them around splash them around and then with the waistband put it back on the ziplock bag then took it to the washroom machine okay this is great is it and then did they come out clean yeah yeah this morning i saw that they're can you imagine if you had thrown them away you're right today i'd be pretty panicked about it no more good luck and like the metaphor like you shit all over your Your good luck.

[1356] Oh, my God.

[1357] That scares me. It wasn't a full shit, but you know what I'm saying.

[1358] Well, it was enough for you to throw away.

[1359] Yeah, ditch them.

[1360] But I was also panicked.

[1361] I wasn't in my right, I was in my reptilian brain.

[1362] I was panicked.

[1363] You can be shy with me. You can come over.

[1364] I'll shit my pants.

[1365] Okay.

[1366] Why did we say this again?

[1367] The simulation.

[1368] Right.

[1369] Is getting crazy for you.

[1370] Yeah.

[1371] And I don't remember.

[1372] There was a reason.

[1373] Oh, I toot it.

[1374] You have gas.

[1375] That's what it is.

[1376] You have gas currently.

[1377] And I warned you.

[1378] And now you're warning me. And then also saying I'm pretty nervous because of the events of yesterday, which again, it had been years.

[1379] And I actually thought I was past this point in my life.

[1380] I really did.

[1381] Well, you got cocky.

[1382] I didn't.

[1383] It's not like I even planned to toot.

[1384] It was like in the pandemonium of getting up really rushed.

[1385] Oh, wow.

[1386] an accidental?

[1387] Yes, it wasn't like I was like, oh, fucking, I'm going to see if this, that was not it.

[1388] This was a very innocent escape.

[1389] Again, did not even feel like anything happened.

[1390] It wasn't until I was completely up where I was like, you know, Aaron had, he had greased his me undies in the race of 270 and it was disgust at length.

[1391] And I even remember in that episode, maybe this is why it happened.

[1392] I was like, yeah, that's not my story anymore.

[1393] Like that doesn't, I don't do that anymore.

[1394] Oh.

[1395] That That is you getting cocky.

[1396] Karma.

[1397] I'm right.

[1398] Yeah.

[1399] You're right.

[1400] Okay.

[1401] Back to the simulation.

[1402] Yeah.

[1403] Something a little less nasty.

[1404] Things are eerie.

[1405] And these are some examples.

[1406] So I got an email about Kristen Wigg's new movie.

[1407] And it was late at night and I was like, oh my gosh, we should try to get her on the podcast to talk about it and to talk to her.

[1408] How cool.

[1409] So I sent an email to myself, Kristen Wig.

[1410] Yeah.

[1411] Then the next morning, I wake up, and the first email is from your publicist.

[1412] Uh -huh.

[1413] And he said, hey, would you guys want to have Kristen Whig on?

[1414] Will you be honest with me?

[1415] You're really good at being honest with me. Yeah.

[1416] Am I pulling this off?

[1417] When I think of other actors, I think about another actor talking about pooping their pants.

[1418] And I don't like it.

[1419] Like, when I think about, let's think about Zach Brough, he's telling a story about pooping his pants.

[1420] I don't know if I like it.

[1421] I don't mind it.

[1422] Okay.

[1423] I think if you don't like story.

[1424] about it, you don't like them across the board.

[1425] But if you're, like, fine with those stories, then you're fine with them.

[1426] I don't think it's that someone's pulling them off and someone's not.

[1427] Okay.

[1428] All right.

[1429] They are pulling their underwear off because they're pooping there.

[1430] Well, you have no choice at that point.

[1431] Okay.

[1432] So, last week we interviewed Samantha Power.

[1433] Kristen and I interviewed Samantha Power.

[1434] Yes, for your new show, Shattered Glass.

[1435] And she is married to a man. Mm -hmm.

[1436] He's a person.

[1437] He's a person.

[1438] He also worked for the Obama administration.

[1439] But I've never heard of him ever.

[1440] And I just saw his name pop up when I was doing my research on Samantha.

[1441] His name is Cass Sustine.

[1442] Okay.

[1443] And we interviewed Samantha.

[1444] Cass came up like once.

[1445] And then the next day, I get a book in the mail.

[1446] Okay.

[1447] From Danny Conneman.

[1448] Danny Conneman's new book because we're going to interview him.

[1449] We're so excited.

[1450] And the book is actually three authors.

[1451] Danny Kahneman, someone I didn't think about, and Cass Sustin.

[1452] Come on.

[1453] The next day.

[1454] It's suspicious.

[1455] It's suspicious.

[1456] And then one more, one more, more.

[1457] Okay, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[1458] So, Nurture versus Nurture.

[1459] Yes.

[1460] Wendy Mogle's new podcast under Aramchair Umbrella that will be coming out soon and is so good.

[1461] It's much better than our show.

[1462] It's incredibly good.

[1463] I'm just going to say that.

[1464] It's way better than our show.

[1465] It's therapy.

[1466] You get to listen to a live show.

[1467] therapy session with parents and it is truly wonderful.

[1468] So I was editing an episode on Sunday and it was with this beautiful, wonderful family who is a farming family.

[1469] And they were talking very specifically about the type of farming they do, I think called permaculture.

[1470] Then that night, I am doing the New York Times crossword puzzle and one of the answers is permafrost.

[1471] I would not have thought of that ever if I hadn't just listened.

[1472] Listen, that could be the simulation or it could be your favorite term.

[1473] Betar Mainoff frequency illusion.

[1474] Look, I've been struggling with this.

[1475] Is it Betar Meinhoff?

[1476] I think you're more a believer in Bader Meinhauf.

[1477] That's more your religion, Bader Meinhauf, frequency illusion.

[1478] But now I'm starting, I'm questioning my religion.

[1479] Well, that's fun.

[1480] Yeah, don't ever stop questioning, you know.

[1481] It's just starting to get so suspicious.

[1482] We don't like it, though.

[1483] Like, we both agree, right.

[1484] We don't like it.

[1485] We don't want it to be a simulation.

[1486] No, I don't want it to be a simulation.

[1487] I'm scared of it being a simulation.

[1488] Me too, because it'll mean nothing.

[1489] It's just so sci -fi and scares like Liz.

[1490] And I'm scared now because me, you, and Eric were having this discussion about the simulation.

[1491] That's almost all we talk about.

[1492] Yeah, and we decided that if you figure out it is a simulation, you die.

[1493] You leave the simulation.

[1494] So I was like, we got to stop talking about it because I feel like we're getting too close to cracking it, and I don't want to leave this simulation.

[1495] Yeah.

[1496] Yeah, so now I'm really scared.

[1497] Yeah, we've got to put a pin in simulation for a while.

[1498] Also, it's just really fun.

[1499] I doubt your father would have any idea how often he's talked about, which I think is just wonderful.

[1500] Yeah.

[1501] Because we acknowledge it's his simulation.

[1502] And in all these conversations with you, Eric and I, it's mostly about your father and what he's experiencing and where his physical body is.

[1503] Where is he?

[1504] He's in a very comfortable.

[1505] chair in an office building an article yeah he's in an article chair he's very very comfortable he's in meandies oh good and he's snuggled up with a brook linen oh okay um question yeah how does he use the bathroom they have tubes yeah he's looked up to a catheter and a poop tube whatever those are called that goes through his meandis you need that oh come on now this was one episode it's been years years he's very comfortable and he's getting a liquid diet that's like everything he needs.

[1506] Oh, good.

[1507] Yeah.

[1508] I hope he's happy.

[1509] Oh, he's so happy.

[1510] Look at his daughter.

[1511] Yeah.

[1512] She's doing so well.

[1513] He's great.

[1514] Okay.

[1515] What if he's like a six foot four lumberjack?

[1516] Wait, he looks different?

[1517] We don't know.

[1518] Oh, my God.

[1519] Yeah.

[1520] No, I don't like that.

[1521] I want my dad to be my dad.

[1522] My dad's my dad.

[1523] My dad's my dad.

[1524] Okay.

[1525] So I've gotten an answer from Joe.

[1526] Oh, great.

[1527] Donny Trumpet released an album that heavily featured chants, but Sunday Candy is technically a Donny trumpet song.

[1528] Okay.

[1529] So he's featured on it.

[1530] Yeah.

[1531] Yeah.

[1532] Let's get into some facts about Salma.

[1533] Let's do it.

[1534] Let's first start by saying we've never been so...

[1535] Bold over.

[1536] It was hysterical.

[1537] That's the only time I ever wish we had video.

[1538] I don't like video.

[1539] I love that this is a listening experience.

[1540] But that is the first time I was like, I wish anyone listening could experience what we experienced.

[1541] Yeah.

[1542] And mostly look at your face because I looked over I was of course to assume I'm going to be intoxicated by her Of course With her feminine wiles But I looked over at you And you were all a titter Oh yeah She is so charming It's true I've never met anyone so charming I don't know Yeah I don't think I have either She had us on the run Yeah It was great She also was really kind Like she was really inclusive And cool She's just cool I like her so much So confident.

[1543] So confident and awesome.

[1544] She earned it.

[1545] She earned the confidence.

[1546] Yeah.

[1547] I think that's, hmm, this is an interesting thought.

[1548] Oh, good.

[1549] Manufactured confidence versus real confidence.

[1550] Mm -hmm.

[1551] I think...

[1552] One can become the other.

[1553] True, though I think the reason her confidence is so genuine is because she really did earn it.

[1554] Like she left Mexico after being a huge star and came to be an extra here.

[1555] Yeah.

[1556] And made it all happen for herself.

[1557] Again, twice.

[1558] Exactly.

[1559] She's just cool.

[1560] Yeah.

[1561] I was so attracted to her in desperado.

[1562] Yeah.

[1563] And what do you, how do you feel now?

[1564] That story is really enlightening.

[1565] It sounds unhappy, the experience.

[1566] Yeah, it does.

[1567] It was.

[1568] She was crying the whole time.

[1569] Yeah, but also she also says it was lovely, like the way they were handling it.

[1570] And I think she, well, I, maybe I'm wishful thinking but it sounded like also she recognizes the scene was incredible she says she still can't watch it yeah we didn't ask her though if she can watch maybe she doesn't watch anything listen I want to salvage that scene so bad for myself I get it I get it but also I think it's just it really was a different time too now I think if somebody was like I really don't feel feel comfortable, like immediately, it would just be like, okay, we're not doing it.

[1571] And most certainly, if someone was crying, it would all get shut down.

[1572] Yeah, exactly.

[1573] Yeah.

[1574] So it also shows, I guess, we were making some progress, I think.

[1575] And it made me so sad for her, the main hang -up was her dad and her brother.

[1576] Like, she kept thinking of that and, like, their honor.

[1577] And that was so interesting that, and you brought up, like, this extra layer that I'm not even thought of.

[1578] women have to be something for their dad, their dad's honor?

[1579] Yeah.

[1580] Then my natural thought is, well, did she have no problem with it?

[1581] Like, personally, if her mom or her dad and brother didn't exist, would she have been, like, maybe she doesn't have any problem with being nude on camera.

[1582] I don't know.

[1583] Like, if she doesn't want to be nude on camera, I don't, I want that to happen.

[1584] Yeah.

[1585] If she's just upset because she's worried about her dad, I get mad at the system at that point.

[1586] Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[1587] Yeah, well, it was also the first.

[1588] She said, I've never done that before.

[1589] It wasn't in the script.

[1590] That's none of that script.

[1591] None of it's ideal.

[1592] Well, just imagine, like, you're, I don't know, we interview someone from Goodwill Hunting and we find out that, like, Matt Damon, totally hated the scene with Robin Williams and went against his moral code.

[1593] It would just be hard for you.

[1594] You'd be like, fuck, it's such a beautiful scene.

[1595] It would be very hard.

[1596] It would be very hard for you.

[1597] Yeah, and that's kind of what I'm experiencing.

[1598] Yeah, I get it.

[1599] Okay.

[1600] So the, you'd be like, it's hard for you.

[1601] The year of the picture of my grandma is 1960.

[1602] Great.

[1603] Now I know where to set the time emitter.

[1604] That's right.

[1605] On the first plane.

[1606] Okay.

[1607] One thing at the very beginning, I left this in because it was, again, so charming, but it kind of makes no sense to the listener because she was talking about big ones and little ones.

[1608] She's talking about headphones.

[1609] Oh.

[1610] It was so funny and cute.

[1611] So I left it.

[1612] But I also am aware that probably no one understood what was going on.

[1613] She's talking about earbuds versus our headphones.

[1614] Right, and she wanted big ones.

[1615] She doesn't like earbuds.

[1616] Oh, okay, the percentage of Lebanese people in Mexico.

[1617] Uh -huh, is 45%.

[1618] No. Wait, that can't be right.

[1619] That can't right.

[1620] Only half the country is Lebanese have been there.

[1621] In cities of Mexicali in the Imperial Valley, U .S., Mexico, and Tijuana, across from San Diego with a large Arab -American community, about 280 ,000, some of whose families have relatives in Mexico, 45 % of Arab Mexicans are of Lebanese.

[1622] There we go.

[1623] There we go.

[1624] Yep, yep, yep, yep, yep.

[1625] Okay, so 45 % of 200 ,000 is 95 ,000 out of a country that I think has 120 million?

[1626] In 2017, 400 ,000 Mexicans of Lebanese descent in 2017.

[1627] 400 ,000?

[1628] Yeah.

[1629] Okay, yeah, they have 100.

[1630] Wow, I got a pretty good, $126 million.

[1631] So it's $400 ,000.

[1632] Okay.

[1633] And we're going to divide that by $126 million.

[1634] There it is.

[1635] That's a big number.

[1636] Oh, 46%.

[1637] Point zero three one.

[1638] So a third of a percent.

[1639] Point three percent.

[1640] All right.

[1641] That's not extreme.

[1642] It's not.

[1643] So I don't feel bad now.

[1644] That you didn't know that?

[1645] Yeah.

[1646] Okay.

[1647] But maybe in her town it was high, you know.

[1648] You just never know.

[1649] There's these pockets.

[1650] There are pockets.

[1651] Pockets.

[1652] Okay.

[1653] Okay.

[1654] And, um.

[1655] Oh, I can tell already.

[1656] I'm afraid to say it.

[1657] It's not a pronunciation.

[1658] No, I know.

[1659] I can just, I always know it's something.

[1660] I'm about to get corrected.

[1661] Yeah.

[1662] Indeed.

[1663] And that you're going to be upset maybe.

[1664] Oh, boy.

[1665] Well, I hope you're not upset.

[1666] Bring up the topic so I can guess wrong again.

[1667] Okay.

[1668] It's just personal.

[1669] The topic is Antonio Bandera's post.

[1670] Oh, you put it above the bed?

[1671] No, I bought it.

[1672] You bought it.

[1673] I hung it above the bed.

[1674] So I surprised Kristen within Antonio Banderas poster.

[1675] I brought it to her trailer and I put it up for her birthday and it was a surprise gift.

[1676] Then it was a hilarious joke for her birthday.

[1677] And then she brought it home, obviously.

[1678] Uh -huh.

[1679] And then there was an Antonio Banderas poster in your house.

[1680] And then Carly put it above the bed.

[1681] Oh, she did.

[1682] Yeah.

[1683] Okay.

[1684] I can live with all.

[1685] all this.

[1686] Okay.

[1687] I'm glad.

[1688] I reattached it enough times that I have a memory of putting it on the ceiling.

[1689] And I guarantee, I totally believe that whole chain of events.

[1690] And I apologize for taking credit for your genius.

[1691] I was really excited to give her that present.

[1692] Yeah.

[1693] This is great present.

[1694] Because we talked about it for years.

[1695] Yeah, we did.

[1696] The Tony B poster.

[1697] Okay.

[1698] You said your name is Dax Hector Shepard.

[1699] Yeah.

[1700] It's Dax Randall Shepard.

[1701] Oh, right.

[1702] Like Justin Randall, Timberl.

[1703] What if that was your thing?

[1704] On every episode, you said you had a different middle name.

[1705] Oh, that'd be great.

[1706] Should I start doing that?

[1707] It's kind of funny.

[1708] Dax Lily Shepard.

[1709] That's what I would say right now with my current guest.

[1710] Okay, Cameron Diaz.

[1711] Yes.

[1712] I wanted to see what her...

[1713] Her father is half Mexican, I believe.

[1714] Cuban.

[1715] Cuban.

[1716] Her father is Cuban.

[1717] Maybe more than half.

[1718] Emilio Diaz.

[1719] Her father's family is Cuban.

[1720] Okay.

[1721] Okay.

[1722] Her dad's Cuban.

[1723] So that's why.

[1724] There you go.

[1725] By the way, she would have been great in the movie.

[1726] She's a great actress.

[1727] But Salma, boy, did she bring something to it.

[1728] And not just that scene.

[1729] The woman who directed Nomadland.

[1730] Her name's Chloe Zau.

[1731] Z -H -A -O.

[1732] I might be mispronouncing that.

[1733] But that is the director of Nomadland, which is supposed to be so good.

[1734] I'm dying to see it.

[1735] Me too.

[1736] And that's all.

[1737] That was it?

[1738] Yeah.

[1739] That was an abrupt ending.

[1740] I'm so sorry.

[1741] Are you wearing your lucky Miondi's again?

[1742] No. While they were cleaned That's true I could have No I'm wearing I'm hurt me in these There's hearts all over them Because it's almost Valentine's Day I hadn't made that connection But you're right And tomorrow Today Is Galentine's Day What fuck is Galentine's Day?

[1743] I thought Galentine's Day is the Wednesday before Valentine's Day It's like celebrating your girlfriends Oh fun Yeah it's fun Oh I wanted to do one thing for you I'm so glad I just remembered I forget these It's going to require you to close your eyes Oh, okay Okay Get off of my plane Harrison Ford Thank you Okay, great Can I open?

[1744] Yeah, yeah Okay I'm back Yeah, Harrison's gone And I'm back Oh my gosh Can you do a Valentine's Day themed person And I'm going to close my eyes That is so hard I know I'm trying to up the ante here I got a Valentine's Day You could come over I don't want to be a lot Because lines play too rough You have your eyes open Yeah but I kept me from really getting into it Oh sorry I'll close them Oh my gosh Um Elvis Yeah doesn't well it's a romantic song Yeah sure What would you think as a Valentine's I guess I would do like It's opaque Like you know what you could have done Like Matthew McConaughey in How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days.

[1745] Because there is a Valentine's scene?

[1746] No, it's just romantic.

[1747] Okay.

[1748] Mr. Dax, me, back.

[1749] Knock, knock, Monica.

[1750] Oh.

[1751] Guess what date is?

[1752] It's February 14th.

[1753] It's a day for lovers.

[1754] You and I are going to be lovers.

[1755] Oh, my God.

[1756] I love it.

[1757] I've spoken to my wife, Camille.

[1758] Oh.

[1759] She said, go crazy.

[1760] Oh, my God.

[1761] So we're going to do this in your sheets.

[1762] Okay, okay.

[1763] All right.

[1764] Happy Mountain of that's great.

[1765] Oh, look who's here, Mr. Dax?

[1766] Mr. Dax.

[1767] Mr. Dax, I got this covered.

[1768] Yeah, but I just, I don't know that I approve this.

[1769] It's not up for you to approve.

[1770] That was Camille.

[1771] That was Camille's position.

[1772] Well, did Monica say anything?

[1773] No, but she seems kind of gobsbacked by the whole proposition.

[1774] Well, yeah, because you just barge right in.

[1775] Oh, my God, oh, my God.

[1776] She gave me a key.

[1777] You didn't know that?

[1778] Well, look, you're turning red now.

[1779] You're all a flutter, aren't you?

[1780] You didn't know a McConaughey.

[1781] This is really taking on a life.

[1782] This is, okay.

[1783] What's his first name?

[1784] Matthew.

[1785] You didn't know Matthew had a key, did you?

[1786] Matthew's got a key for everything.

[1787] Oh, my God.

[1788] Okay.

[1789] Wow.

[1790] You wrote a full script.

[1791] Thank you.

[1792] Thank you.

[1793] I did ask you to do it, so I should say thank you.

[1794] There's not a famous Valentine's song or anything, right?

[1795] Well, there's a gazillion romantic songs.

[1796] Mm -hmm, but none that explicitly state.

[1797] Yeah, like, oh, isn't there something called Blue Valentine or...

[1798] Oh, yeah, Elvis.

[1799] No, right?

[1800] No. Funny Valentine.

[1801] Funny Valentine.

[1802] How's that how long ago?

[1803] You know it.

[1804] I'll play it.

[1805] I'm not going to sing it.

[1806] Well, this is ding, ding, ding.

[1807] Very musical episode.

[1808] Exactly.

[1809] It's Frank Sinatra.

[1810] Oh, okay, I can do him.

[1811] I mean, I can try to do him.

[1812] Do you know this?

[1813] I thought, you've never heard this?

[1814] Sweet comic Valentine.

[1815] Hmm.

[1816] Oh, playful.

[1817] Yeah.

[1818] Very playful.

[1819] I don't know if you haven't heard this before.

[1820] That's it.

[1821] Wait, her looks are laughable.

[1822] It's taking a turn Oh my goodness This is taking a real turn He just said she's a dog But he likes it Uh -huh There's a mess Less than grade Full of paste Wait Your mess I want to hear it Sorry Sorry Is your figure Less than grief Is your mouth A little week Oh boy Oops Oh my She's dumb too Oh my gosh Even though it's fucked up Oh no This sounds horrible That's a nagging song Yes it sounds like he has her captive Oh shit Your hair is putrid Little Valentine Your teeth are bucked Crooked and brown But don't Don't try to get another guy, because I'm the only one who will love you, you dirty, mangy dog, Valentine.

[1823] Okay, okay, okay.

[1824] Wow, that really took a turn.

[1825] It started off so sweet.

[1826] Oh, my God, it's like the ding, ding, ding.

[1827] It's like the scene in desperado I loved.

[1828] Oh.

[1829] He's like, your mouth is weak.

[1830] You're not even smart.

[1831] Don't change a thing.

[1832] You're perfect how you are.

[1833] God is hell My Valentine Oh wowie Oh wow happy Valentine's Day Happy Valentine's Day I just realized It's after Valentine's Day Oops The 15th Yeah That's okay It's okay It's still Valentine's Day Oh okay Yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah Right everybody Yeah it's fine By the way We didn't record this even on valence Whatever whatever.

[1834] Don't worry about how the sausage is made.

[1835] Just eat the Valentine's Day sausage.

[1836] Follow Armchair Expert on the Wondry app, Amazon Music, or wherever you get your podcasts.

[1837] You can listen to every episode of Armchair Expert early and ad free right now by joining Wondry Plus in the Wondry app or on Apple Podcasts.

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